#even if it's just supporting ppl affected by the problems

[greyedian]

lmao i'm always so bad at actually sticking with my tumblr breaks, but being on here less and not really engaging with fandom already helps a ton tbh. but yeah idk in case anyone's wondering: yeah i'm still here and yeah i'm still having a bit of a creative existential crisis what else is new 👍

[unproduciblesmackdown]

truly something that, amidst facing / going through a dramatic Life Change ft. unavoidable emotional effects of that, there are instances where i can't conceal any & all degrees of being distressed / upset, & repeatedly getting "it's hard for me too" as a Direct Response to that: really something & a half how the asserted theoretical Sympathy of [i feel similarly!] is invoked so as to, oh you know, preclude sympathetic Treatment. such as that what would be More sympathetic in these instances would be to say Nothing, "if there's nothing but dismissal / making it first & foremost about someone else's feelings to say, don't say it at all" style

[caotictimmy]

This is going to be a long and important rant. Trigger warning for SA,Grooming, incest. Proshipping and stuff like that

I can’t believe I have to fucking say this. The problem tumbler has with normalizing and platforming proshippers and just incel ppl in general is disgusting. IF YOUR A PROSHIPPER, SUPPORT PRO SHIPPERS. GET THE FUCK OFF OF MY FUCKING PAGE. APPERENTLY I have to say this since I’m in the genshin and mouthwashing fandom. I was looking at one of my comments that had a weird name. I clicked on their account and they just reposted a lot of sissy content. I personally don’t like it but if it doesn’t involve anything disgusting like incest or rape I don’t care. But then I saw them repost smut of Percy Jackson. A GOD DAMN CHILD. I do not care if he is aged up. It is still gross and predatory. Especially if written by an adult. I get it if it was written by a minor. When I was younger I use to read stuff like that. But if you are a grown adult writing smut over a child no matter if you “aged” them up, you are a predator.

But back to the account. When I checked their following. The amount of proshipping accounts I saw almost made me throw up. The funny thing is the amount of whining and temper tantrums these people have.” WAHH WAHH THEY TOOK DOWN THE PROSHIPPING POLLS OF INCEST AND PEDOPHILIA PROSHIPS WAHH WAHH CURSE YOU SPAM REPORTERS.” I do not feel bad when these get taken down. Apparently this is a hot take. I fully support spam reporting incest, pedo and general proshipping stuff like that. I don’t care if it’s a rambling post or a full fledge fanfic. I don’t care if it’s character x character or x reader. I will happily report it with no guilt. “B-but t-they/I-I spent so long w-w-writing that.” DONT CAREEEEEE. Cause it’s not like this stuff doesn’t have an affect on people. When I was younger I use to read this stuff, that was how I thought relationships were supposed to be. Which ended up letting me get groomed by multiple people multiple times.

This stuff DOES AFFECT PEOPLE. This stuff being able to be put out and supported is harmful. You don’t even have to be a minor for this stuff to twist your views on relationships. There was this one person in that one persons following. I think their name was like proshipscara. One of their post was talking about “you don’t have to defend yourself for being a proshipper” their right you don’t. Because you are a disgusting person and NO defending can save your case.

And also before you brain dead basement dwelling defunked things go cry about “it’s a trauma response!” That does NOT make it ok whatsoever. It’s like saying it’s ok to scream and blow up on people, hit people, because it’s a trauma response. If this is helping your trauma which I highly doubt it. Keep this shit to yourself. Cause the amount of minors groomed into this is genuinely so sad. That probably my biggest reason why I hate pro shippers so much. Being a victim of it myself.

Please speak out about this, don’t just repost this or other anti proshipper posts. SPEAK UP. You can speak up about your hate for proshippers, speak up about the affects that happened. SPEAK UP! Cause this is a rampant problem. You can also help without speaking up. Report and block any proship accounts. Even if they don’t call themselves proshippers. If you see them posting incest, grooming, SA, in a positive light, report and block them.

Anyways thanks if you read all this I hope you have a good day! And if any proshippers wanna go cry in my comments or try and harrase me. Just try I’d love the good laugh.

[theheirofthesharingan]

Something I’m not a fan of seeing is when ppl say that Sasuke is over the top when it comes to his hatred for the Leaf and the Elders after he learns the truth about Itachi. Like they say it’s too extreme for him when it’s honestly isn’t when you factor in Sasuke’s mindset.

Like Sasuke has spent half his life wanting to get stronger so that he can kill Itachi (the one singular person that meant the world to him) so much so that he becomes a rouge ninja and leaves with a literal snake ninja that just wants to possess him.

Three years go by and then he learns the truth, the brother that he wanted revenge on in fact, truly loved him all along and only did what he did to protect him, his brother that couldn’t kill him, that loved him, that saw his life as more precious then the Village did it all for Sasuke’s sake.

That reality check shattered Sasuke’s psyche so bad that he actually started to have a panic attack cuz everything he knew up to that point had been a lie, not only that but having to find out the truth after Itachi’s already dead, crushed Sasuke all the more.

Of course Sasuke was gonna want revenge on the leaf. Of course he’s gonna have that “everyone is guilty” mindset, he’s a grieving child that misses his big brother and wants to hurt anyone who caused him pain.

I bet Sasuke looked back before the Chunin Exams when he said “get/stay out of our village” and the hatred only grew, all that time he spent there before and after the massacre, was all due cuz Itachi suffered deeply in anguish, all alone with no one there to comfort him.

Was Sasuke still wrong to go after the men, women and children that lived in the Leaf? Yes, but to me it makes perfect sense as to why. It’s completely justified

The problem with a lot of extreme opinions on Sasuke is that people don't seem to understand his psychology and want to measure his reactions through their personal moral compass. They don't understand how deeply traumatized he is and how it's natural to react the way he does.

His reactions are always compared with those of Naruto's and then he's blamed for "choosing revenge over bonds." And while it is true, this assessment royally ignores his emotional and psychological state.

Sasuke did not have any emotional support after the massacre. He raised himself and bonded a bit with Naruto. But neither of them understood each other.

When they both learned about their pasts, Sasuke's condition was much worse, because he literally had nothing holding him at that time. Unlike Minato and Kushina, his parents didn't die a heroic death. They were sacrificed for the peace in the village and his own brother was made to do it.

Thinking from Sasuke's POV, he loved Itachi more than anyone in the world. He wanted Itachi's acknowledgement, his time, his affection, his love. And when Itachi left, hurt him, Sasuke found a way to hold on to life, not really thinking he'd make it out of killing Itachi.

But then he dies. And not only that, he is told Your brother loved you. He has one single memory to grasp on, and he remembers Itachi crying.

He may not have believed everything Obito told him, but he remembered Itachi was crying. And that meant, Sasuke had lost everything.

His entire life was a lie. He hated the wrong person. He killed him. His entire childhood, the yearning for home and that love, and that grief. He can do nothing about it. He can't bring Itachi back. He can't ask him things.

At this point, he didn't even know why he was alive when everyone he loved was dead.

Gaara keeps saying Sasuke is beyond saving. And he's right, because Sasuke didn't choose to lose his family. The injustice he experienced, it's amplified because he's the only one who cares about what happened to the Uchiha clan, his parents, and Itachi.

That much pain and rage, it will come out in ugly and cruel ways. It doesn't have to be right. It doesn't have to be justified. It exists and it is valid enough.

He keeps screaming and screaming at Team 7 and they know he's hurting, but they still think killing him is the only solution.

People want his grief to be soft and quiet. It's not. It's devastating because he is in darkness at this point. He doesn't think he has any purpose to live anymore. So, when he makes those reckless decisions, it's because he doesn't care if he survives or not.

And what he tries to do is not justified. Wanting to kill the people who had nothing to do with his pain is unjustified and wrong. And that's how it is meant to be. Because he can't reason with anything because of the pain he's feeling.

People who say he's wrong to involve innocent people in his vengeance are right, but then acting like it's not because of the insurmountable anguish he's feeling is the reason is where the problem begins.

When he meets Itachi in the woods, he keeps saying he'll destroy the world that caused Itachi pain. It's just, he isn't thinking about the rights or wrongs. He is feeling too much pain on his dead brother's behalf that he can't find a reasonable explanation to anything in the world.

Itachi meant everything to him. He sees Itachi isn't even angry with the village that destroyed his life. And later he understands that he will kill Itachi further if he destroyed what Itachi had given up his life protecting.

People who hate him miss all these points and reduce him to their bland definitions of morality, because he isn't like what they'd like him to behave.

[iamnmbr3]

not really into hp, i followed you for something different years ago, but i'm sorry about the hate you get for being in the hp fandom. honestly i think those sorts of asks you get actually demonstrate really well a general problem we see on the internet. bc social media was originally for interacting with friends & people of similar interests, but for the past like 10 years (at least, idk i'm gen z & it was like 10 years ago that i really started being on the internet but it's entirely possible that this was happening before that) there's also been a big push for social activism on the internet. which is fine, it's a great way to spread information. but somehow people have blended using social media for activism and for entertainment to the point that people nowadays think you can use fandom for activism (which...you can't. shipping mlm or whatever isn't activism). which has caused a lot of problems bc they also combine this with purity culture in many ways (you can't ship x bc it's bad, if you like this movie you're a fascist sympathizer, x book from the '70's is bad bc of outdated language despite that it was groundbreaking for the time, all classics are bad bc they were written by white men hundreds of years ago, etc).

idk, i don't understand why ppl are so against the hp fandom. obviously jkr is horrible. but i havent seen a single hp fan on tumblr that's been pro-jkr. & i've seen tons of trans and otherwise queer people that are still in the fandom, as well as people from other minorities she's said horrible things about. but it feels like people are more focused on hating jkr than supporting trans people (which is actually is a criticism i have in many different things) & that extends to hating anything remotely hp related including random people. & if it's really that big of a concern, people should block the tag. if it's going to upset you, block it. it's not that hard. i block so much random stuff just bc i find it annoying (ie the met gala).

but, yeah, random person on tumblr talking about hp isn't going to hurt anyone or give jkr money. you already have the books (& movies if you care about them) probably since before jkr was the way she is. no more money spent. & honestly as long as you don't give jkr money nothing anyone on tumblr does is going to help her. i'd say that most people can't do anything on social media that'll help jkr. like unless you're an influencer on tiktok & promoting it & not openly anti-jkr, you're probably not helping jkr at all. (also random side note bc i like browsing at thrift stores, if anyone wants anything hp related i've seen a ton of hp shirts, books, etc at thrift stores lately. like i said i'm gen z so my parents have the books but i don't. i will thrift them someday if i ever decide i want them).

but i do find it concerning that people think they can tell a hp fan that they are supporting transphobia but they probably do nothing to help trans people. when really the best way to combat jkr is not to attack harry potter but to attack transphobia by donating to relevant causes, protesting, etc. especially if you live in the uk due to current events.

also side note i see lots of people saying "harry potter was always bad all along." i'm sorry but the amount of money jkr made in such a short amount of time and the massive affect hp had on pop culture is proof against that. or did people forget that every other fandom has hundreds of fics that are hogwarts aus. & i've started to see the same thing happen with neil gaiman's stuff. which first off i doubt jkr even really thought about trans people when she wrote the books, the books were written during a time when queer rights weren't that good & the average person never even thought about queer people. it's not a manifesto as much as she wants to say it is today, it was just a story. a story that was written fairly well. it has its flaws, but nothing's perfect. i don't think we should retroactively say hp is the worst series ever just bc jkr sucks. same with gaiman. bc that's just purity culture wrapped up in supposed wokeness. "my pure books written by my pure author." listen, jkr's bigotry doesn't make her books badly written.

sorry for the kinda confusing rant, i'm not focusing very well rn lol so it's kinda all over the place. but sorry about this crap. & i hope that people will start actually trying to do something to help queers instead of sending anons to random fandom blogs.

So many great insights here! Thanks for sharing. I agree completely. I like Shakespeare. It doesn't mean I think that we should go back to the way society was in the 1600s. Also, liking something "pure" doesn't make you a good person. You have to actually do the work of being a good person. No shortcuts. Also thank you for the kind words! So nice of you to send words of support along with your interesting well articulated thoughts!

[sharkboywrites]

Hi! Can you pls write halsin and astarion (Gale too if u can) with a trans male (transitioned) who feels insecure about appearing too feminine and thinking about cutting his long hair cause he thinks they’re too feminine? Sorry this just my insecurities. This morning I cut my hair and gold I wish I hadn’t cause I loved my hair but ppls told me they were girly so.. yeah. Regrets. Sorry about the mini rant. So Uhm would love if u could write so,è comfort, no worries if u can’t! Thx for being a mlm writer and love that u started writing for bg3! Have a lovely day!

Halsin, Astarion, and Gale with a Dysphoric FTM S/O

A/N: Took me about two years but I'm finally trying to get back to writing after falling down shitposting hell, yaay. So sorry to hear about your problems with hair (and also that it took me so long to get to it :/), hair can be a really complicated thing when you're trans and even though I cut mine as short as possible I still end up feeling too feminine most of the time. sorry that these are kinda short, I'm easing myself back into writing after a while of not writing at all, even personal works, after a family emergency.

Ftm reader, male reader, he/him pronouns used, heavy themes of dysphoria

Halsin

Halsin makes his morals clear, that things should be as nature intended it

This includes things like hair, and that hair growing out is a natural thing whether you're a man or woman

Obviously he's okay with hair cutting, his would be much longer if he hadn't, but he also supports the idea of letting your hair grow out, letting nature choose it's path, his hair is still near his shoulders after all

So when you come to him about your worries of your hair being "too feminine" he's very adamant that this is a normal thing

He assures you that hair is natural, and that people can have any length and it will not affect who they are as a person

Whatever you decided, cutting your hair or keeping it long, he will continue to assure you that no matter what hair length you have, you are still a man and the man he loves

Just know that Halsin loves you no matter what, you are a man and he will do everything in his power to make sure you know that

Astarion

Like Halsin, Astarion is really doesn't think much about hair length and it equating to gender

Astarion had met plenty of men in his life, many of which having long hair, some even long enough to go all the way down their legs to their ankles

And yet these men were still just that, men

Some quite masculine still, and not any less attractive to him

When you come to him with your troubles, he's immediately going to try and help you

He'll help you style your hair to find a way that you like it

He'll tie it all up, tie only certain parts of it up, twist it and braid it, until you find something that you like

Every time you find a style you like, because of course he'll keep going until you find multiple you're comfortable with, he'll tease you about how silly you were for thinking having long hair made you feminine

I mean, look at this man

His hair is short, but it's stylish, he takes good care of it, and he'll for sure know how to make it so that you'll like this

He'll make you feel as masculine as possible while playing with your hair, making sure you know just how loved yu are, as you are, a man

Gale

Gale himself has longer hair

Obviously it's not very long, about a bit longer than his shoulders, but he's confident about it most times

When he does get insecure about it, it's not because he doesn't feel masculine, it's because of his general insecurities with himself

So when you open up to him about your issues, he's not exactly sure how to help

He'd never considered that this could be a reason someone would be insecure

He encourages you to keep your hair long, although he's not very good at comforting you

He may try to mess around with your hair like Astarion, and he doesn't do as well, but he does well enough

You find a few styles that make you feel better and he promises to do his best to try and make it right every morning just for you

If you do want to cut it off, he won't stop you, even supervising to make sure you don't mess it up too bad

If you regret it later, he'll hold you close in an attempt to comfort you

Again, he's not great at comforting, but at this point he's also more comfortable and it does the trick

Before or after cutting your hair, he may use astral projection to try and make you feel better about your physical appearance if you really want it

Gale may not be the best in these situation, but he tries his hardest to do what's best for you and what you want, comforting you all the way through

Wooo I'm back to writing, ty for reading and have a nice day!

[noveauskull]

CALLING OUT ALL L&DS PLAYERS RN!!!

I have a genuine question that revolves around this very specific story idea and im just D Y I N G to know if i should make it happen or not and i need the words and support of every fellow L&DS writer and reader ASAP

(im super anxious writing this cause what if everyone thinks this idea sucks or not enough ppl see this post cause they dgaf 😭😭)

so im thinking of making a fanfic of L&DS where MC has a twin sister. this twin sister is like her evil half and tbh not really her twin but more like part of MC's self where all the evil and painful things she did is hidden in that half of herself which is her twin sister.

MC lost her memories of all the male leads in L&DS when she used her aether core to divide herself into the worse half of her, which is why she has heart problems and overall just issues with having an aether core, because of her twin that carries all the past mistakes and sorrows she had.

I plan on making MC's twin a very aggressive, childish and petty person, but she can have her times of weakness and be very sweet and caring when she wants to, i mean, she is the bitter half of MC so of course she has to be cruel, but we also get to see how MC's twin grows into being the true version of MC.

I would just jump onto making the fic happen however i need it to be clear that the main focus won't be MC herself but MC's twin, and all the male leads in L&DS will be showing affection towards MC AT FIRST before moving on towards MC's twin.

I even have the names of MC and MC's twin planned out (since I cant always narrate them as MC and MC's twin) in both chinese and english! *since L&DS is a chinese game and also because im using english to write the fic*

Also the debate on making this fic a fluff only with slight angst or fluff, angst and SMUTTY AS HELL with all male leads is a very, very, VERY big option that im struggling to choose, but as my pride and joy of being a smut writer, i think the smut side is really pushing through here.

So far these are all the main information i wanna share before making the fic happen, hopefully enough blogs reply to this post cause i am in DESPERATE NEED OF FEEDBACK cause if no one is going to read it why bother amiright or amiright LMAO

im kidding but please do give your thoughts on this! if i dont think a lot of people are interested im cool with that too but again it'd be amazing to actually write a full on fanfic that isnt just oneshots or short tumblr posts, and a SMUT one at that!

Im always eager to challenge myself and i think im ready to take the leap for this one!

[swiruh]

sk8 characters families hc

In my opinion, the biggest factor influencing a person and the main driver behind understanding their motives is their childhood—how they were raised and what their family situation was like

(My HC might not be accurate, but these are my predictions based on my own analysis of the character)

🌸:

I believe Kaoru was an only child. I’ve always imagined he was raised by a strong, single mother who prioritized his academic and professional success above all else.

Based on Kaoru’s personality, it seems his mother didn’t provide much emotional affection, such as verbal praise, appreciation, or physical closeness like hugs.

This doesn’t necessarily mean she was harsh; perhaps she showed her love through material means, like buying him wherever he wants and give him rewards or financially supporting his interests, like his interests in technology, while also giving him enough freedom to do what he wanted.

Being his mother’s only child likely made him value the friendships he has, even if he wears a mask of coldness.

In truth, he struggles with expressing kind words because he wasn’t accustomed to hearing or saying them. Yet, he craves them because he wasn’t emotionally fulfilled as a child.

🐯:

Kojiro most likely grew up in a large family with siblings, including younger ones.

His personality reflects someone who is considerate, socially, and emotionally intelligent, understanding and caring for others.

This is evident in how he treats Kaoru, who often acts childishly.

and in ep 6 Kojiro made sure the younger ones and Hiromi were in a better place with air conditioning and good food

and he understands the broken and sad ainosuke and is the only one who noticed this problem relatively early.

However, this doesn’t mean Kojiro has a fully mature or parental personality, as he’s still young and hasn’t developed a complete sense of responsibility.

ofc, he puts up with Kaoru bc he have crush on him

and he wouldn’t take care of the younger ones or Hiromi unless he made sure someone other than him pays for their room and food.

even in ep 4, when he He came forward to take responsibility paying for langa and reki’s food he did not pay in full

as for ainosuke , of course, Kojiro will try to analyze the problem since ainosuke’s his friend in the end.

But did he take a real step to solve the problem?

No, he just goes along with Kaoru’s plans, which lack a considerate and broader perspective on the issue.

That doesn’t negate the fact that Kojiro is a good person and can easily understand people from all walks of life and love to help ppl, but not in the correct and complete way

Kojiro not being someone who properly takes responsibility up to this point suggests that he might have older siblings.

Why? Because older siblings naturally tend to develop a strong sense of responsibility from an early age, and this doesn’t apply to Kojiro.

I also don’t think he’s the youngest sibling, as younger siblings are usually spoiled and less considerate.

He’s probably the middle child who helps his family when needed but not all the time, which is why he had the time when he was a teen to hang out with Kaoru and ainosuke all night.

🐍:

Tadashi’s deep attachment to the Shindo family seems puzzling 🥲😓

It’s clear he has no living family members to return to, or they are far away. He’s been serving the Shindo family for over seven years, sleeps in their mansion, and rarely takes vacations.

When he does take time off, he spends it sleeping all day

It seems likely that his family is no longer alive or are absent for some reason.

I have a headcanon that the gardener in the mansion was Tadashi’s father since young Tadashi only helped with gardening tasks.

since tadashi identifies himself as the son of a servant , and he's hanging around Shindo's house even at night.

It’s possible his father also lived on the Shindo estate, and when he passed away, Tadashi continued to stay and work there as a secretary to remain close to ainosuke, bc he considers ainosuke his family ☺️

In summary:

🌸 Kaoru: Grew up in a family consisting of himself and his mother.

🐯 Kojiro: The middle son of a large family.

🐍 Tadashi: No longer has a family, so he is attached and loyal to the Shindo family, particularly to Ainosuke.

okeyy that’s it

thanks 4 read it & sorry if the text feels random and jumps between topics

i wrote this at 4AM & there’re a lot of thoughts i want to organize in my head 🙇‍♀️

[wannabedragon-yep-lumenemporium]

hey! I don't want to be too nit-picky, but it's not 'rick sanchez has narcassicm' it would be 'rick sanchez has narcissistic personality disorder'. there is no such thing as narcissistic abuse, and ppl with NPD are not evil or stereotypes. for someone who has in their bio that they talk about mental health a lot, you clearly need to educate yourself on cluster b personality disorders and ESPECIALLY on one of the most misunderstood and demonized mental illnesses. Please educate yourself on NPD before you talk about people with this disorder ( caused by trauma ) in a way that makes them sound evil.

hey! I'm glad you asked, so I can give you a very long and precise answer, since I like to be extra precise on certain topics, so, in order of succession:

Narcissistic personality disorder and narcissism are two very different concepts: the classical diagnose (npd) is based on obsolete criteria that cut out the majority of narcissistic tendencies, like the more self-oriented types of narcissism, like neglectful, covert, cerebral, mild, benign and vulnerable narcissism. Those classic criteria were largely collected by examining convicted people with primary and secondary psychopathy, while random ppl with no criminal records are totally an unknown gray area for that classification. In order to be diagnosed with NPD, you also should exhibit discomfort with your own condition, key element that very often is completely absent in narcissistic people, bcs they have serious issues admitting their discomfort with themselves and being open abt it with others. I suggest you to check Doctor Ramani Durvasula's amazing work, major expert in narcissistic abuse and modern research abt narcissism, also available on you tube. You can also check Doctor Daniel Fox's amazing work on the topic (even if he's the new frontier about bpd) and all the related new researches, modern sources, along with the first hand experiences of narcissistic abuse survivors: you can find large communities who share their stories of narcissistic abuse and support each other.

If I wrote "Rick Sanchez has narcissism" is also because I have a profound respect for all those people who actually refuses to limit their personality only to their childhood trauma. I believe in those who wants to be more than just a personality disorder, and prefer to label themselves as just someone who "has a something going on" and is taking action to change deeply: many people diagnosed with personality disorders prefer to use this form, because they are more focused on achieving real change through hard work and appropriate support, instead of fueling their tendencies. Basically, instead of unconditionally accepting their maladaptive survival mechanism, they cultivate their own real personality, so "they have *personality disorder*" not "they are *narcissist, bpd ect*". Quite unrelated extra, the same preference exists also for ppl with adhd, autism and other types of categories, so it doesn't apply only to personality disorders: it's a wide spread decision from ppl who in general feels like they're more than just one defining term. Positive/neutral/negative, the quality of the term is not important, they just feel like isn't comprehensive enough of who they are. This said, personalities disorders become defining of a person when those affected don't even want to admit the problem and completely embraces the pattern, that in fact replaces their entire personality: it's about the choice, not about the personality disorder.

Demonizing narcissism is something more than legit considering the abominable consequences narcissistic abuse has on victims, and how society systematically proceeds to scapegoat them instead of helping them, actively promoting and supporting antisocial tendencies in every social environment (school, politics, work place etc); but personally, I don't like scapegoating other people, not even Rickorty proshippers, I just block them out of my life and try to share some constructive awareness about the topic instead.

Narcissism is defined by the things that I listed, it's just how it works, if you want to apply a quality to facts, you can, but is not what I wrote. And if you want to find a positive and cute way to explain narcissism in its real essence, good luck with that. The fact that narcissism is a pattern characterized by lack of empathy, manipulation, compulsive lying, vindictiveness, antagonism and deep insecurity is just the definition of the pattern, that is in fact a very dangerous, "anti-social" by definition, pattern. It doesn't mean that the narcissistic person isn't hurting themselves as well or doesn't suffer because of their condition, still, the results is the same: narcissistic patterns are always life threatening and detrimental for those around the narcissist and for the narcissist themselves, especially if we are talking about someone who refuses therapy (very common with narcissism). Since narcissism is a wide spectrum, the consequences of exposure to narcissistic abuse may vary from CPTSD, chronic fatigue, autoimmune diseases development, depression, to even s*icide, death by m*rder and more. It's your choice to call it "evil", I call it by its name. There is no way to describe narcissism in a nice way, it isn't nice, that's why is a problem. Being a pervasive, rigid, maladaptive pattern, chances are that people affected by narcissism will actually do evil and hurtful things to others, that's why they need very specific therapy and that's why they are eligible to have narcissism in the first place: being hurtful/dangerous to others is a requirement. Does this mean they haven't feelings, hobbies, affections, talent etc? No, they're people, of course they have all of that. But this is sadly irrelevant because untreated narcissism is still a threat to themselves and to people around them, that's a reality that no one can change. The fact that people mistakenly thinks narcissism is only about egoism/self image obsession doesn't change the real nature of the pattern.

Narcissism follows behavioral patterns, that's why is a personality disorder, it literally alters the way you act and react, affecting the very activity of your brain, as the MRI scans showed us, so it's actually divided into "stereotypes", if you want, and these "stereotypes" are called " behavioral patterns".

In conclusion: rest assured that no one is fueling a holy crusade against narcissists 💀 Narcissistic abuse survivors usually have better ways to spend their freedom, like m*sturbating and watching Rick and Morty. Narcissism is a dangerous and "evil"(if you want to call it like that💀) pattern: people with narcissism instead, are just people, people who are prone to do dangerous and evil things to others, but they can change with proper therapy and the proper motivation.

And, as a little general digression: I was the scapegoat of an entire family system of people with severe narcissism, not the kind of superficial or a little too dramatic narcissism, but the kind that leaves marks on your skin, breaks your mind and scars your health for life. I'm dedicating my life to study narcissism and narcissistic abuse, with the goal of becoming a psychologist as soon as I can, while sharing awareness about the risks and consequences of narcissistic abuse, through my art and my work. Every day of my life is partially spent on abstracts, books, researches or informative videos from professionals about the topic, because I lost the whole beloved family I could have had because of narcissism and generational trauma, along with my whole, irreplaceable childhood. So I think I know a thing or two about the topic ✌🏻 thank you again for asking, so that a lot of people who have to deal with this kind of uneducated invalidation can hopefully find comfort in a supportive community, accredited studies and capable professionals💛

[iatrophilosophos]

Unequivocally supporting stated goals is not neccesarily the best way to support autonomy.

Licensed & authoritative healthcare professionals are probably doing best to just do whatever ppl who walk in want them to. The balance of power in these relationships is usually already pretty fucked up and don't include time or personal relationship to investigate someone's stated goals and, IME healthcare practioners ive seen as a patient don't have the cultural or interpersonal competency to do so well, and usually make some wild assumptions about me that make the whole situation harder and worse.

"That's what you said you wanted so that's what I'll do for you" is i think a pretty neutral action because it's rlly just controlling for power in one specific relationship. At the point this is being said in a clinical relationship it's just standing aside to allow access to gatekept materials that in a different world, the patient would likely simply acquire on their own.

But like in general... I don't think handing someone in suicidal crisis a knife is supporting their autonomy neccesarily. An emerging gold standard for suicide-neutral, anticarceral approach to suicide is to essentially say "sure, that's an option that's available at any time, so we don't need to rush into it this moment. Let's figure out what you need to really consider it." This approach recognizes people have the right to kill themselves, but also makes space for various sociological conditions (e.g.: because suicide is so taboo to even discuss, it ends up something that people only utter in situations of acute crisis and misery and don't truly get an opportunity to think through things like end of life care. IMO ppl who have balked hard at having therapists bring up MAiD in response to suicidal ideation are probably experiencing the uncomfortable but intended effect of being asked to work through suicide as a concrete option and not an escape fantasy).

Idk, what's got me on this was seeing a pre-transition girl ask about if she transitioned would it affect her fertility and watching a lot of healthcare professionals give the expected, extremely conservative lines on sperm freezing and Making Serious Decisions Slowly! I don't know this girl or how much fertility is important to her personally or why, but, coming from my own cultural context and knowing the experiences of friends who have had potential fertility used as a cudgel against them, it really doesn't sit right with me that so many people jumped directly and explicitly to the assumption that because she asked, this is a major priority for her that would and should dictate her transition choices, and thus the most helpful and pro-autonomy thing that could be done is supply incredibly conservative lines on the route to 100% ensuring the possibility of future biological children.

I also think its extremely messy, from any ideological standpoint or position, to start from a place of assuming that someone's stated intentions are not reflective of their "real" "internal" "feelings". Parenting/childcare ethics nerds talk all the time about how trying to save someone who's living in a fully different context from something you experienced in the past is a bad move--basically that trying to be the person that you could've needed as a child is a distraction from being the person that the child in front of you needs now. I think this concept is limited, in that wider critical thought about the state of the world is generally important in navigating things and our own personal experiences and cultural awareness are a huge part of how we build that critical thought; but that it also makes sense to apply more broadly to how we treat people in general, i.e. speaking to the people in front of us and not our past selves or the past selves of our loved ones (or at minimum disclosing when we are doing so).

I don't have a grand conclusion or a good answer to this problem. Curious if anyone else wants to take a stab at it. I think somewhat the answer is that it's rlly just about, idk, wisdom or something, testing out our awareness of the world as a lens that might aid us to be present with the people in front of us instead of the other way around (applying signs and signifiers to every Harry dick and Sally we might meet & end up trying to help). I think especially wrt healthcare ethics and best practices my writing has recently taken a bent of just trying to describe a situation and potentially relevant information or lines of philosophy because I don't know that it's rlly helpful to anyone to try to enumerate my specific playbook(to the extent I have one for any given question) cuz again, confounding context...

[aguineapigcouldntdothis]

More sets of reminders for ppl with sensory nerve damage! Idk if this'll be a regular thing i do but probably bc it's super helpful to write these things out. and i hope it helps other ppl too bc i dont think nerve damage is talked abt enough in physical disability spaces (or i just havent seen it!)

are you wearing tight clothes, jewelry, scratchy fabrics, etc. on your affected areas? are there any abrasions?

is there any pain in those areas? is that pain typical or atypical for you?

is moving around easier, harder, or as difficult as it usually is?

are there any external injuries you haven't seen before? can these be treated at home or do you need to see a doctor?

check any healing tattoos/piercings in those places. infection is so easy to miss with sensory nerve damage even if you have partial feeling

if you are someone that experiences nerve pain, is that worse, better, or just the same as it usually is?

If you are someone like me that still has partial feeling then poke and prod at yourself a bit. see if anything feels or looks different than normal and decide if those things are concerning or not.

I hope everything is ok as possible! If there are any problems I hope they are easily managable and if you need to see a doctor then best of luck to you. may the guinea pigs be supporting you through this. <3

also totally unrelated but im gonna start including the cripple punk tag in my disability posts. ive been meaning to for weeks i just legit keep forgetting:(.

[eternal-kosmo-ghoul]

Hey! I was wondering if I could request some phantom x ftm reader?? Maybe he’s a bit obsessed with reader and wants to be with him in case someone hurts him?

❝sweet as honey❞

➵ “you were always a beauty to me.” —❤︎

pairing: phantom ghoul x ftm!reader (he/him)

theme: fluff ✿ , smut ❣︎

a/n: as a fellow ftm babe this request made me SO HAPPY. this is also going to be one of my first ficlets, so i can get requests done more easily and then pump out my really good shit later

cw: phantom threatening ppl for being assholes, it gets spicy at the end

┅✦┅

oh honey you are in good hands

phantom is the most understanding and supportive baby there is

he doesn’t care that you weren’t born with a dick, you’re still his pretty boy to love and cherish

he will literally cut anyone that says anything remotely transphobic or degrading towards you

like— full on hissing and growling

“you wanna say that shit again? say it to my face, you fucking coward.”

this man full on smacked a bitch after saying something regarding your appearance

you gave him a kiss afterwards

he knows how hard you have it because of your identity, so he wants to remind you constantly how much he loves you

phantom will definitely remind you to take your testosterone if you forget

he wants to make sure you’re comfortable in your body is all

the quintessence ghoul is insanely protective of you

he had a bit of an protection problem when you first started dating— like he would even snap at his fellow ghouls

luckily you were able to reassure him and ease him about most of his worries, that way he wasn’t constantly paranoid about you <3

will shower you with love and affection if you’re experiencing bad gender dysphoria

like he’ll straight up drape you in blankets and give you so many kisses and cuddles

bros obsessed with your lips

will straight up make out with you for hours until you stop him or someone interrupts you guys

like chill bro he’s not going anywhere

phantom also fucks with he/him pussy so hard

like. really hard.

this man straight up worships the ground you walk on. he’s going to absolutely adore and lavish your body at any chance he gets

will utter sweet nothings into your ear while he’s mercilessly pounds into your tight cunt

“such a pretty boy… all for myself.. just for— mmmh~ me to love… fuck I love you so much.”

also gives you the best head

like he’d stay between your legs for hours just drinking up your juices and lapping at your clit

phantom is very addicted to your body. like he doesn’t even care about the feminine parts, he’ll always see you as a boy

and he’ll keep reminding you of his love <33

[scarletlilyy]

There's this guy on the internet that goes around his city harassing women into admitting that height doesn't matter when it comes to dating by making them weigh themselves with an inaccurate scale....

and can I just say that's so fucking stupid lol.

His whole argument is that height can't be controlled but weight can, so women shouldn't have height standards but men r free to have whatever standards they can LOL

it's so dumb to me cus men have a lot of standards for women that also CAN'T be controlled but u don't see women constantly bitching about it

For example men have racial standards and standards for body shape 💀

Race is obviously something that cannot be controlled and when women complain about men having a racial preference, men resort to racism or some other display of insecurity

Another thing that makes this guy even more stupid than he is, is the fact that weight is Infact relative.

Obviously taller women will weigh more even when they are skinny/fit and like that incel of a man said, people can't control their height, INCLUDING tall women

so expecting women to either be higher or lower than a specific number on the scale is absolutely ridiculous

Because it's dependent on height, which we can't control :D

What's even funny is that men themselves have height preferences and usually don't date women taller than themselves or worse women taller than 5'5..

Don't forget the guy's scale is obviously very wrong at times, even the men that support him notice when the weight of some women is OBVIOUSLY wrong.

Regardless of weight standards, there's also this thing where men expect women to have certain body types and guess what that's not completely in the hands of women either.

Having a slim waist is mostly genetics yet many men expect this of women, but when women want a taller guy it's suddenly a problem??

not to mention most men are tall anyway

NOT ALL women have a small waist, so why is this such a common expectation from men? idk.

I think it's perfectly fine to not want someone who's underweight/overweight by the BMI standards (we all know men don't even know what that looks like that's why I have to say by BMI standards) but expecting women to be shaped a particular way is in itself an unrealistic standard.

But like I said men only love to point out when women expect things they can't control...

Men stop enforcing double standards challenge go!

I believe that every body's entitled to their own preferences even if some r a little unrealistic at times lol, what I don't believe in is shaming ppl for their preferences

and also shaming ppl who don't fit ur preferences (which men tend to do a lot of the time)

Ik some women can be mean to short guys, but men truly dehumanize women who don't fit their beauty standards

even when women aren't overweight, men will shame them for being "shaped weirdly"

The guy in question isn't even short from what I'm seeing, I don't know why he harasses women for something that doesn't even affect him in the slightest, probably cus he's short in other places lmao

[dissociacrip]

this is okay to rb i think, especially if you have anything to add or any insight. idk. i'm tagging this the way that i am because i'm seeking community/connection(tm) or something

hypotonia is not like. a rare thing. not really. but i do remember my OT googling what it was.

low muscle tone/hypotonia may technically be a symptom rather than a diagnosis (barring benign congenital hypotonia, which afaik is controversial) but it's the closest thing to a "diagnosis" i've been given for some of this stuff because the potential cause of it hasn't been investigated and i guess it's not exactly urgent since my particular case isn't severe and doesn't seem progressive (hypotonia can be progressive & is involved in some progressive and degenerative conditions.)

but i wish it was talked about more and i wish more was known about it works and how it affects bodily function and i wish what we DO know about it was more accessible to the public when it comes to those who suffer from it. it's also kinda hard whether to KNOW you have it or not since its "signs" have so much overlap with other conditions that aren't related to muscle tone. it ranges a lot in severity too. and there's two different types (central and peripheral.) it's linked to dozens of diagnoses too which is why i say it's not uncommon.

but also i guess due to the complexity of how it affects the body and its lack of distinctiveness with most of its symptoms makes it kinda...hard to talk about? and i imagine w/ some people it's hard to distinguish the effects of hypotonia vs. their other problems. issues with chewing, writing, breathing, speaking, posture, coordination, etc. can be due to so many different things ranging from mental to physical. but it's not always something that can be lumped together w/ those other things because there's "my muscles don't work" in a terms of chronic muscular pain vs. "my muscles don't work" in terms of, like, they lack the ability to adequately support the body and bodily movement. if that makes any sense.

which ranges from someone like me where having to hold myself up sucks + mild motor skill/coordination impairments and mild developmental milestone delays, but others never meet those milestones or need assistance with things like breathing and ingesting food.

it's not a diagnosis but it can affect the body in complex ways like muscle shortening and stiffness due to our bodies having to compensate in weird ways for the lack of adequate tone (esp those of us who grew up with it), tibial torsion and femoral anteversion, flatfoot and knock-knees, reduced cervical lordosis sometimes leading to bruxism and occipital headaches, etc. PT centered around muscle strengthening to correct my "improper" movement and stuff.

and there's other stuff that can come with it that people like to consider """gross""" like drooling, constipation and other gastric, and pelvic floor dysfunction which can result in incontinence/problems with bladder control. muscles are involved in a lot of things. wild.

i'm rambling but i just wish more people talked about it. all i really have is that one interview that surestep did with meagan veracha, who has hypotonic cerebral palsy, about living with hypotonia as an adult.

maybe i wouldn't care all that much if i had a diagnosis that would "explain it" but "i might have gHSD/hEDS" doesn't rly do that for me because ppl in those communities obviously focus a lot on the joint dysfunction aspect (because those 2 conditions center around hypermobile joints so that's just natural, it's not a bad thing per-se, barring other problems that those communities have) but for me my case of symptomatic generalized hypermobility is secondary in how it impacts me vs. my muscles being bad at their job and my hypermobility might even be secondary to my hypotonia anyway.

dyspraxia/DCD (some people with it have hypotonia but not all - i thought i had it before i was told i was identified as having hypotonia when i was a kid...over two decades late) is another guess but again that centers more around coordination than things like "anything other than lying in bed is hard on me because my muscles don't support my body like they're supposed to."

maybe muscle tone is a complex medical concept that shouldn't really enter the public lexicon but i have no other language for it.

[zaagi-studies]

uni accessibility rant [indigenous version]

whenever profs say they wanna see me succeed or they care abt disabled students i rly wanna ask "do you want me to be cured so i can be the best student ever or do you wanna make exceptions every now and then so i can actually perform the knowledge we both know i have???"

like a few things that piss me off

profs (both white allies & natives) teaching about the importance of oral knowledge transmission / how colonial the system is YET saying "i'm sorry i can't do visual or oral-based assessment methods for you" EVEN THO THE RUBRIC IS THE SAME

profs teaching about generational trauma and the health effects of colonialism (mainly substance use disorder & FASD in my case) just to not be accessible or make exceptions because it's inconvenient for them personally,, despite the fact they get paid over 100k a year to teach this shit

"if you were struggling you should've reached out sooner" i have a neurodevelopmental disorder that affects communication bro IM TRYING MY BEST

my worst prof not taking accountability for the way her transphobia has made me feel and how it contributed to my mental health which affected my attendance

"if i do this for you, i have to do this for everyone else too" UNLESS EVERYONE HERE IS REGISTERED WITH THE ACCESSIBILITY PEOPLE THEN NO YOU FUCKING DONT ACTUALLY

it sucks so much cause even tho i'm good friends with the other disabled (similar stuff like adhd & autism) students i can't relate to them because of stuff like :

they have very low support needs compared to me (they can balance part time work & full time school, lack physical health problems, etc)

most don't even recognize themselves as disabled tbh

none of them have idiopathic hypersomnia and are genuinely shocked i'm capable of going to school when i say "researchers consider my condition to be the equivalent of an average person staying awake for 3 days straight, like that's my baseline level of feeling awake and i require another person to give me medication so i can stay awake"

most of their struggles in school seem to be based around comprehending the knowledge from class & organization, not performance-based or executive dysfunction-based (which our university has no idea how to support)

none of them have pathological demand avoidance

most get financial support from their band which makes life wayyy easier

some of them outright pay other people to do their assignments and/or use ai which i'm not rly comfortable doing

all of them can use stress/fear/anxiety/etc as a motivator to get shit done but that doesn't work on me anymore and just leads me to feel paralyzed (like if there's flight/fight/freeze/fawn, they're doing fight while i'm doing freeze

just wanna make it clear i'm not hating on my classmates !! i'm happy they can thrive in a system that wasn't designed for disabled ppl. as someone who isn't thriving i feel very dumb and misunderstood all the time (even amongst disabled peers) which is very frustrating/lonely !!

edit: idk how to explain this shit to people because whenever i talk about these problems, other people want to try to fix the problems (natural response imo), but i've already spents years on stuff like adhd medication, antidepressants, life coaching, peer-tutoring, peer-coaching, various forms of therapy, self-education, reading neurodivergent specific self-help books, using neurodivergent specific journalling prompts, etc.

at this point i feel very comfortable saying my issue is with the school system not allowing me to use the methods of assessment that are best for me, not my struggle to communicate or comprehend the world around me. when i attended an online school that was literally called "flex ed" because it was designed to be flexible to each individual student (in terms of asking for different methods & you could choose how long each course was), i was so happy and successful which is how i got the good grades to go on to study at a top university. i don't need other people to fix me, i need people to take me seriously when i talk about what's best for me

[kienansidhe]

hi, im kienan! im the current host of the disaster hearts system. we are a korean american body with dissociative identity disorder and have had multiple diff hosts over the course of this blogs run. i or some variation of me have been host since around 2017-18ish. for transparencys sake, the body is 25+. do not ask abt age specifics please.

we are a survivor of csa trauma, parental abuse, religious and cult abuse, and generally very traumatized, and our experience of life is irrevocably colored by that lens.

we are disabled and unable to hold a job ever since we got long covid in april of 2020. we are fully dependent on our partners, working on our disability application, and still coming to terms with the reality of being probably permanently disabled.

unless otherwise specified it is probably some variation of kienan speaking.

-♡♡♡-

i, kienan, am queer and i prefer to be addressed by strangers with he/they/it or fae/faeself pronouns. i dont rlly care which of those you use, tho, no need to rotate or anything.

some other labels that generally describe me: nonbinary, transmasc, gnc, cuntboy, [redacted], [redacted], femme, femboy, genderweird, bi, aro/ace with a couple exceptions, sex favorable, kink obligate, freak, degenerate, pervert.

i currently have 4 partners, referred to here as prettyboyfriend, nesting boyfriend, girlfriend/daddy, and moirail.

no dni, i think theyre stupid and the only ppl i would not want to interact would not respect dnis anyways lmao. if i have a problem with you i will just say so or block you or whatever.

some of my beliefs and what to expect on this blog are under the cut.

i believe in rehabilitation and compassion, full stop. yes, even for those people. i think that othering and dehumanizing others sucks, that thoughts do not define you (yes, even those thoughts), and that the only thing that matters is your actions.

i think callouts are never helpful, ever. ive literally never seen one do anything helpful or good.

i try my best to interact with others in good faith, and i expect the same in return.

we were homeschooled in a cult and our education was heavily ~moderated~ to keep us brainwashed, and every time i think ive rooted out all the misinfo new stuff comes up. please be patient with me if i ask stupid questions, i literally am stupid. i have so much literal actual brain damage. i will do my best to be open minded, i rlly want to learn!

i believe that the best ways to combat csa are better sex education, breaking down the sanctity of the nuclear family, youth liberation (more legal rights and self advocacy for children), and not clogging child abuse report portals with fucking fictional art, jesus h christ.

medicalization of identities sucks. sysmeds, transmeds, im sorry youre miserable but thats not an excuse for trying to make everyone else miserable with you.

labels are only useful insofar as they help you connect with others like you and form solidarity in order to combat systemic oppression. if labels make you angry or miserable, consider not taking them so seriously.

its okay to just dislike ppl. its not always that deep. trying to come up with moral reasons to justify disliking ppl is rlly fucking catholic.

dont talk to me abt christianity. im aware that my trauma affects my ability to be compassionate in this area, so im staying in my lane. in fact probably dont talk to me abt religion in general.

im not a proshipper or an anti i touch grass <3, HOWEVER:

antishipping / purity politics / anti-kink / whatever you wanna call it, ppl equating fictional depictions of Obvious Bad Things with condoning, supporting, or normalizing them in real life are fucking stupid and have done unbelievable amounts of damage that has now reached far beyond fandom and kink circles. get a life, for fucks sake.

ppl who call themselves proshippers and then go around harassing antis are fucking stupid and have lost the original spirit of the term proship / anti-anti, which hinged around not harassing or harming others over fiction. get a life, for fucks sake.

just be kind. dont be a dick. treat others how you wanna be treated. we are all traumatized but thats not an excuse to be cruel. leave the world better than you found it.

youre gonna make mistakes. you just are. youre not perfect and also the world is complex. remember that you cant help everyone. try your best but dont lose yourself in the process.

art is everything. the act of creation is holy. more progress is made by creating -- building communities, making art, growing plants, building houses, building relationships -- than by tearing things down. there is probably a time and place for violence, destroying oppressive systems, bombing weapons factories, but if we arent creating a positive, healthy society alongside the destruction we are just leaving fertile ground for new oppressive structures to take root. create. create. create.

-♡♡♡-

many hosts has left a chaotic mess of tags on this blog but here are some we use pretty consistently:

#headspace: original posts. diary rambling, random thoughts, actual semi coherent opinions, anything

#my face: the body

#humans are good actually: reminders

#recovery things: mental health help

#important: there is so much stuff in this tag

#bookmark: too much here too lol

#feel better: just fluffy stuff

#vine: general funny video tag

#about, #me kin id, #i ghostwrote this post: stuff we relate to rlly hard + uquiz tags lol

#posts that are funnier when plural