#even if it's just supporting ppl affected by the problems

[human-souls-buy-dopamine]

"Life isn't fair" WELL GODDAMMIT MAYBE SOMEOME SHOULD DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Like Jesus FUCK, you are people! You can do things, say things! No, one person isn't going to cause an immediate change, but it only takes one person to start!

Istg this is what they want. "They" as in most governments, corporations, you get the gist. This is EXACTLY what they want. They want you to just be complacent, to fall into the "this is just how it is, why bother" mindset! Because guess what. If you have that mindset, you're not gonna do shit against them. If you're convinced that nothing can/will change, you won't try to start or participate in change.

If nobody tries to change anything, they don't have to change. Maybe you, as an individual, can't stop Amazon from continuing the absolutely hellish working conditions and millions of other problems by yourself. Maybe you, alone, can't make politicians and govt authorities get their shit together. But guess what?

You, as an individual, can raise awareness. You, by without others, can start conversations. You, by yourself, can call your local representative (or whatever equivalent you may have where you live) and tell them what YOU want.

And others can join in.

Change isn't done alone, but a lot of times, it's started alone. "Life is unfair," you say? It doesn't have be; let's change that.

I hate how acknowledging unfairness in the world is seen as "childish". Maybe children are right. I don't think you should be proud of the fact that you've become complacent with the state of your miserable existence and took on this loser "it is what it is" mentality. Things can be better.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

truly something that, amidst facing / going through a dramatic Life Change ft. unavoidable emotional effects of that, there are instances where i can't conceal any & all degrees of being distressed / upset, & repeatedly getting "it's hard for me too" as a Direct Response to that: really something & a half how the asserted theoretical Sympathy of [i feel similarly!] is invoked so as to, oh you know, preclude sympathetic Treatment. such as that what would be More sympathetic in these instances would be to say Nothing, "if there's nothing but dismissal / making it first & foremost about someone else's feelings to say, don't say it at all" style

[sharkboywrites]

Hi! Can you pls write halsin and astarion (Gale too if u can) with a trans male (transitioned) who feels insecure about appearing too feminine and thinking about cutting his long hair cause he thinks they’re too feminine? Sorry this just my insecurities. This morning I cut my hair and gold I wish I hadn’t cause I loved my hair but ppls told me they were girly so.. yeah. Regrets. Sorry about the mini rant. So Uhm would love if u could write so,è comfort, no worries if u can’t! Thx for being a mlm writer and love that u started writing for bg3! Have a lovely day!

Halsin, Astarion, and Gale with a Dysphoric FTM S/O

A/N: Took me about two years but I'm finally trying to get back to writing after falling down shitposting hell, yaay. So sorry to hear about your problems with hair (and also that it took me so long to get to it :/), hair can be a really complicated thing when you're trans and even though I cut mine as short as possible I still end up feeling too feminine most of the time. sorry that these are kinda short, I'm easing myself back into writing after a while of not writing at all, even personal works, after a family emergency.

Ftm reader, male reader, he/him pronouns used, heavy themes of dysphoria

Halsin

Halsin makes his morals clear, that things should be as nature intended it

This includes things like hair, and that hair growing out is a natural thing whether you're a man or woman

Obviously he's okay with hair cutting, his would be much longer if he hadn't, but he also supports the idea of letting your hair grow out, letting nature choose it's path, his hair is still near his shoulders after all

So when you come to him about your worries of your hair being "too feminine" he's very adamant that this is a normal thing

He assures you that hair is natural, and that people can have any length and it will not affect who they are as a person

Whatever you decided, cutting your hair or keeping it long, he will continue to assure you that no matter what hair length you have, you are still a man and the man he loves

Just know that Halsin loves you no matter what, you are a man and he will do everything in his power to make sure you know that

Astarion

Like Halsin, Astarion is really doesn't think much about hair length and it equating to gender

Astarion had met plenty of men in his life, many of which having long hair, some even long enough to go all the way down their legs to their ankles

And yet these men were still just that, men

Some quite masculine still, and not any less attractive to him

When you come to him with your troubles, he's immediately going to try and help you

He'll help you style your hair to find a way that you like it

He'll tie it all up, tie only certain parts of it up, twist it and braid it, until you find something that you like

Every time you find a style you like, because of course he'll keep going until you find multiple you're comfortable with, he'll tease you about how silly you were for thinking having long hair made you feminine

I mean, look at this man

His hair is short, but it's stylish, he takes good care of it, and he'll for sure know how to make it so that you'll like this

He'll make you feel as masculine as possible while playing with your hair, making sure you know just how loved yu are, as you are, a man

Gale

Gale himself has longer hair

Obviously it's not very long, about a bit longer than his shoulders, but he's confident about it most times

When he does get insecure about it, it's not because he doesn't feel masculine, it's because of his general insecurities with himself

So when you open up to him about your issues, he's not exactly sure how to help

He'd never considered that this could be a reason someone would be insecure

He encourages you to keep your hair long, although he's not very good at comforting you

He may try to mess around with your hair like Astarion, and he doesn't do as well, but he does well enough

You find a few styles that make you feel better and he promises to do his best to try and make it right every morning just for you

If you do want to cut it off, he won't stop you, even supervising to make sure you don't mess it up too bad

If you regret it later, he'll hold you close in an attempt to comfort you

Again, he's not great at comforting, but at this point he's also more comfortable and it does the trick

Before or after cutting your hair, he may use astral projection to try and make you feel better about your physical appearance if you really want it

Gale may not be the best in these situation, but he tries his hardest to do what's best for you and what you want, comforting you all the way through

Wooo I'm back to writing, ty for reading and have a nice day!

[noveauskull]

CALLING OUT ALL L&DS PLAYERS RN!!!

I have a genuine question that revolves around this very specific story idea and im just D Y I N G to know if i should make it happen or not and i need the words and support of every fellow L&DS writer and reader ASAP

(im super anxious writing this cause what if everyone thinks this idea sucks or not enough ppl see this post cause they dgaf 😭😭)

so im thinking of making a fanfic of L&DS where MC has a twin sister. this twin sister is like her evil half and tbh not really her twin but more like part of MC's self where all the evil and painful things she did is hidden in that half of herself which is her twin sister.

MC lost her memories of all the male leads in L&DS when she used her aether core to divide herself into the worse half of her, which is why she has heart problems and overall just issues with having an aether core, because of her twin that carries all the past mistakes and sorrows she had.

I plan on making MC's twin a very aggressive, childish and petty person, but she can have her times of weakness and be very sweet and caring when she wants to, i mean, she is the bitter half of MC so of course she has to be cruel, but we also get to see how MC's twin grows into being the true version of MC.

I would just jump onto making the fic happen however i need it to be clear that the main focus won't be MC herself but MC's twin, and all the male leads in L&DS will be showing affection towards MC AT FIRST before moving on towards MC's twin.

I even have the names of MC and MC's twin planned out (since I cant always narrate them as MC and MC's twin) in both chinese and english! *since L&DS is a chinese game and also because im using english to write the fic*

Also the debate on making this fic a fluff only with slight angst or fluff, angst and SMUTTY AS HELL with all male leads is a very, very, VERY big option that im struggling to choose, but as my pride and joy of being a smut writer, i think the smut side is really pushing through here.

So far these are all the main information i wanna share before making the fic happen, hopefully enough blogs reply to this post cause i am in DESPERATE NEED OF FEEDBACK cause if no one is going to read it why bother amiright or amiright LMAO

im kidding but please do give your thoughts on this! if i dont think a lot of people are interested im cool with that too but again it'd be amazing to actually write a full on fanfic that isnt just oneshots or short tumblr posts, and a SMUT one at that!

Im always eager to challenge myself and i think im ready to take the leap for this one!

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

“people only say i’m low support needs / high functioning autistic because i can speak 🙃” often followed by this is why functioning labels are BS or support needs labels are bad or why they are actually high support needs they just internalize it (while being able to perform bADLs and some iADLs independently on typical day, able to keep own safety, etc).

while able to verbally speak is not the only way to have significant support needs or be low functioning, being nonverbal not required to be high support needs (and also some nonverbal ppl aren’t high support needs),

being nonverbal or nonspeaking or minimally verbal is a significant thing that requires a lot of help, and it often doesn’t exist alone. as in, the people who say the quote above don’t realize nonverbal people are not “just like them but just can’t speak.”

being nonverbal/nonspeaking/minimally speaking/unreliably speaking (unreliable as in apraxia not as in lose speech) by itself is a thing that need significant attention to because need give extra! additional! support to gain functional communication. for most (if not all!) nonverbal nonspeaking people, functional communication is not guaranteed, it doesn’t develop naturally like most speaking people, either because of skills barrier, or external barrier like lack of resources, or both.

so, being nonverbal alone needs often intensive and long term intervention like speech therapy and AAC. even if you do everything right, give the most up to date affirming therapy, learning any AAC takes time, whether high tech or low tech. and they almost always require external help to reach their full communicative potential.

being able to functionally communicate (speech/sign/AAC, etc, but society put most emphasis on speech so you will have easier time if can speak) is such a fundamental part of our lives, it is severely limiting when you don’t have access to it. it inherently puts you at a disadvantage.

but being nonverbal often don’t exist alone.

being nonverbal means you have trouble with expressive language. sometimes that expressive language trouble is just you can’t speak.

but more often, there is more. like trouble communicating with more than one word at a time / multi word phrases / short broken sentences. or have small or basic vocabulary. difficulty remembering words. cannot grasp basic or complex grammar. have trouble find words. etc.

others may have extremely limited expressive language in all areas, even if you give them the best AAC and instructions, give them picture cards and photos, give them pen and paper, etc. yes, there are nonverbal people who may not be able to ever learn most or any form of AAC for it to be functional or reliable.

many nonverbal people may also have receptive language issues and have trouble understanding language. they may not understand the question being asked or the instructions given to them. they may only learn to read picture books with simple sentences, or not learn to read at all.

or, they also have intellectual disability, which affect everything not just language. they may be nonverbal because of their ID. they may struggle with everything above, and have trouble with problem solving, have trouble understand cause and consequence (not just rewards/punishment), difficulty remembering things, developmental delay, etc.

or, they have global apraxia (full body apraxia), or severe dyspraxia, which means they have trouble coordinate movements. they may have trouble dressing themselves, feeding themselves, physically follow directions, fine motor, gross motor, drooling, etc.

i have heard nonverbal people w severe full body apraxia describe it as a brain-body disconnect, their body have mind of its own. their mouth make noises they don’t want to make and cannot control, their body point to “yes” for a question when they mean “no” (so you can see how this impacts AAC use, yes?), their body running around when they just want to be still, etc.

it gets even tricky because! many of our understanding of intelligence and IQ tests require good enough motor skill. they assume that the way you act is the way you are internally. they assume you pointing to “no” when being asked “is the sky blue” if you genuinely not understand color, the sky, or language, not that your body pointed to the wrong thing.

many people w ID have poor motor skills. but many people w severe apraxia don’t have ID.

and this is just things i’ve seen in nonverbal autistic people. there are so many nonverbal people who are nonverbal because of brain damage, genetic disorders, and so on.

not to mention that being nonverbal and not having access to functional communication—not able to communicate what you want, don’t want, boundaries, socialize, etc. is a frustrating experience to say the least. having someone speak over you, make every decision for you, assume you can’t understand (whether you can or not), not even bother speaking to you, talking about you in front of you, etc. and when nothing else works, and you are frustrated and in overload, you meltdown, you “act out” to try to regain control or get others to listen to you, or you act out bc “other people say these things about me that’s not true so i might as well make it true.” then you get labeled with having behavior issues!

so yes, while it’s ignorant for people to dismiss speaking autistics just because they can speak, which is an issue that needs to be addressed, the way many low support needs speaking autistic talk about it is also ignorant.

[aguineapigcouldntdothis]

More sets of reminders for ppl with sensory nerve damage! Idk if this'll be a regular thing i do but probably bc it's super helpful to write these things out. and i hope it helps other ppl too bc i dont think nerve damage is talked abt enough in physical disability spaces (or i just havent seen it!)

are you wearing tight clothes, jewelry, scratchy fabrics, etc. on your affected areas? are there any abrasions?

is there any pain in those areas? is that pain typical or atypical for you?

is moving around easier, harder, or as difficult as it usually is?

are there any external injuries you haven't seen before? can these be treated at home or do you need to see a doctor?

check any healing tattoos/piercings in those places. infection is so easy to miss with sensory nerve damage even if you have partial feeling

if you are someone that experiences nerve pain, is that worse, better, or just the same as it usually is?

If you are someone like me that still has partial feeling then poke and prod at yourself a bit. see if anything feels or looks different than normal and decide if those things are concerning or not.

I hope everything is ok as possible! If there are any problems I hope they are easily managable and if you need to see a doctor then best of luck to you. may the guinea pigs be supporting you through this. <3

also totally unrelated but im gonna start including the cripple punk tag in my disability posts. ive been meaning to for weeks i just legit keep forgetting:(.

[eternal-kosmo-ghoul]

Hey! I was wondering if I could request some phantom x ftm reader?? Maybe he’s a bit obsessed with reader and wants to be with him in case someone hurts him?

❝sweet as honey❞

➵ “you were always a beauty to me.” —❤︎

pairing: phantom ghoul x ftm!reader (he/him)

theme: fluff ✿ , smut ❣︎

a/n: as a fellow ftm babe this request made me SO HAPPY. this is also going to be one of my first ficlets, so i can get requests done more easily and then pump out my really good shit later

cw: phantom threatening ppl for being assholes, it gets spicy at the end

┅✦┅

oh honey you are in good hands

phantom is the most understanding and supportive baby there is

he doesn’t care that you weren’t born with a dick, you’re still his pretty boy to love and cherish

he will literally cut anyone that says anything remotely transphobic or degrading towards you

like— full on hissing and growling

“you wanna say that shit again? say it to my face, you fucking coward.”

this man full on smacked a bitch after saying something regarding your appearance

you gave him a kiss afterwards

he knows how hard you have it because of your identity, so he wants to remind you constantly how much he loves you

phantom will definitely remind you to take your testosterone if you forget

he wants to make sure you’re comfortable in your body is all

the quintessence ghoul is insanely protective of you

he had a bit of an protection problem when you first started dating— like he would even snap at his fellow ghouls

luckily you were able to reassure him and ease him about most of his worries, that way he wasn’t constantly paranoid about you <3

will shower you with love and affection if you’re experiencing bad gender dysphoria

like he’ll straight up drape you in blankets and give you so many kisses and cuddles

bros obsessed with your lips

will straight up make out with you for hours until you stop him or someone interrupts you guys

like chill bro he’s not going anywhere

phantom also fucks with he/him pussy so hard

like. really hard.

this man straight up worships the ground you walk on. he’s going to absolutely adore and lavish your body at any chance he gets

will utter sweet nothings into your ear while he’s mercilessly pounds into your tight cunt

“such a pretty boy… all for myself.. just for— mmmh~ me to love… fuck I love you so much.”

also gives you the best head

like he’d stay between your legs for hours just drinking up your juices and lapping at your clit

phantom is very addicted to your body. like he doesn’t even care about the feminine parts, he’ll always see you as a boy

and he’ll keep reminding you of his love <33

[scarletlilyy]

There's this guy on the internet that goes around his city harassing women into admitting that height doesn't matter when it comes to dating by making them weigh themselves with an inaccurate scale....

and can I just say that's so fucking stupid lol.

His whole argument is that height can't be controlled but weight can, so women shouldn't have height standards but men r free to have whatever standards they can LOL

it's so dumb to me cus men have a lot of standards for women that also CAN'T be controlled but u don't see women constantly bitching about it

For example men have racial standards and standards for body shape 💀

Race is obviously something that cannot be controlled and when women complain about men having a racial preference, men resort to racism or some other display of insecurity

Another thing that makes this guy even more stupid than he is, is the fact that weight is Infact relative.

Obviously taller women will weigh more even when they are skinny/fit and like that incel of a man said, people can't control their height, INCLUDING tall women

so expecting women to either be higher or lower than a specific number on the scale is absolutely ridiculous

Because it's dependent on height, which we can't control :D

What's even funny is that men themselves have height preferences and usually don't date women taller than themselves or worse women taller than 5'5..

Don't forget the guy's scale is obviously very wrong at times, even the men that support him notice when the weight of some women is OBVIOUSLY wrong.

Regardless of weight standards, there's also this thing where men expect women to have certain body types and guess what that's not completely in the hands of women either.

Having a slim waist is mostly genetics yet many men expect this of women, but when women want a taller guy it's suddenly a problem??

not to mention most men are tall anyway

NOT ALL women have a small waist, so why is this such a common expectation from men? idk.

I think it's perfectly fine to not want someone who's underweight/overweight by the BMI standards (we all know men don't even know what that looks like that's why I have to say by BMI standards) but expecting women to be shaped a particular way is in itself an unrealistic standard.

But like I said men only love to point out when women expect things they can't control...

Men stop enforcing double standards challenge go!

I believe that every body's entitled to their own preferences even if some r a little unrealistic at times lol, what I don't believe in is shaming ppl for their preferences

and also shaming ppl who don't fit ur preferences (which men tend to do a lot of the time)

Ik some women can be mean to short guys, but men truly dehumanize women who don't fit their beauty standards

even when women aren't overweight, men will shame them for being "shaped weirdly"

The guy in question isn't even short from what I'm seeing, I don't know why he harasses women for something that doesn't even affect him in the slightest, probably cus he's short in other places lmao

[a-witch-in-endor]

i binged mo in like 2 days omg... i feel like a walking zombie rn how am I supposed to go on AAAAAA my heart is pounding LIKE??? it gave me SOO MANY EMOTIONS CRYINGGGGG this is The Atla Fic Ever

but more importantly, I just want to say that this fic is changing my perspective on religion. im athiest, and quite honestly I've never been able to truly understand religion. I'm a strong believer in science, so religion just has never made sense to me. reading mo though, and connecting with a character who believes so deeply in his religion, and seeing how overall, religion is meant to provide guidance to understanding the world and forming morals, I feel like I've grown a lot of respect for religion in general

it's still hard for me, because a lot of my experiences with religion (or I should say, christianity/catholicism specifically- I feel like I should make it clear that I don't judge people for following religion, I just have never seen/understood the appeal) have been with people around me who are religious and therefore very homophobic or anti-abortion etc. I'm not trying to start political discourse ofc, but experiencing that consistently has not really put religion in a positive perspective for me

but reading mo and taking lots of time to think about religion in general, and how I do have friends who are religious and still supportive of lgbtq+ ppl, or who are even queer themselves, I feel like maybe I've grown as a person to become more open minded towards religion. when someone tells me they're christian, honestly I find myself closing up around them. I don't want to make it obvious I'm queer because I feel like they'll judge or disapprove. but I think that's an unfair assumption to make

I think religion, and how it ties into a people's culture and history, is beautiful. I worry that I'll always be wary around christianity, but I'll continue trying to keep an open mind. I understand now that the original beliefs of a religion and the actions of some of its followers are not one in the same, and that the teachings of a religion can call for peace while some followers ignore this. I realize that I should not judge an entire religion simply because there are some practicers who deliberately misinterpret the original teachings

I know the religions in mo are not quite the same as the ones that I am uneasy around. but nonetheless you've helped me see religion and its followers in a new light. and for that, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am so excited to see how the story continues, thank you for taking the time to write and continue this story for as long as you have, and for helping people like me expand our worldview and become more enriched

Ah, OP, I'm really pleased to hear that it's been a meaningful experience for you. I know a lot of people have complex relationships with religion. In fact, I think anyone who doesn't have some complexity in their relationship with religion is probably a rare specimen.

Powerhouses like Christianity are hugely affected by the amount of institutional power they've enjoyed, and you know what they say about the impact of power. But there are a lot of beautiful ideas there, too. If you're ever looking for a way to encounter more than the political powerhouse of the church, I recommend reading about liberation theology - and specifically (Catholic Priest) Gustavo Gutiérrez's A Theology of Liberation.

That all being said, I don't want to undermine the fact that there's a lot to be wary of in religious tradition, especially around perspectives on gender, sexuality, and such. It is not my perspective that these things are baked into religion specifically. It's that anything that links us to the what-came-before is going to include the problems of what came before, and religion has a lot to do with tradition, so it often falls into that trap.

I just happen to also rate the part of religion which is also about being in relationship with past and future, about continuous revelation, about liberation and obligation, about living life with consciousness and constantly asking what it means to be human and what we owe ourselves, one another, and God.

Anyway, this was barely coherent, but it comes down to: thank you for sharing. :-)

[unproduciblesmackdown]

something abt The Family Unit as this bordered site potentially of a little system of authoritarianism being that it's really this example plenty of people have of how like, You Would Think "oh if the people In Charge realize the structural integrity of what they're in charge of & say they're Supporting is being degraded then surely on a practical basis they'd change course? compromise?" & like the compromises Are continually made to shore things up a little longer but it's a pyramid scheme & it's continuously crumbling. & the Logic of the authority is what's held on to no matter what, not whatever else is claimed to be the goal (e.g. having a Good Family, workplace, corporation, country...) & that means having all the power, which is never actually the case or possible so since that goal's never met it's really just about having More power (what's next, constant profit growth), & everything's oriented around That, such that yeah strategic fleeting compromises may be made but as this structure inevitably deteriorates further, i.e. the control as successfully applied power is being lost, it's not about compromising more & more until eventually things are egalitarian, it's more about lashing out & doubling & tripling & quadrupling down on the exact same measures always taken anyways, because of how the entire like belief is in being the authority, expressed by forever only following the logics of authority/hierarchy & control/abuse

that is to lead into how like, the Failure of [ostensible alternate practical goal: the cohesion of the perfect family(tm)] can happen in more obvious ways / on shorter timeframes than, say, the agenda of propping up an empire, & so there's like all this evidence of how even when the theoretically inviolate borders of The Family are ruptured there's like "wouldn't the relevant family members change their approach in the face of this undeniable failure. wouldn't they question themselves." b/c like, surely? how could you not? but the experience being overwhelmingly "absolutely they do not" with instead the doubling down, perhaps the strategic compromises that are then only used to wear away the targeted parties & then (perhaps after an incremental transition) be back at it once that defense is seemingly breached, but the same logic seems to "work" even in situations where whatever Unit is destroyed, partnership, family, friendship, acquaintanceship, b/c the sense of [i am entitled to More] is just like. undisturbed or "supported" by the ruptures & lack of access to whomever, the Denial of what they feel they're already entitled to. the dehumanization of others / No Need to ever have to consider & contend with those ppl's real feelings if you control their life enough anyways is all still at play & there's no room for even Now considering if you were wrong about how someone felt, so the logic might also default to things like "it's a total mystery but what matters is i was / am wronged" &/or "well things would've been great if i had my total authority like i should have & imagine i could have, so basically some Other enemy authority must be at fault (e.g. guess my child was converted by the gay agenda, the devil, the evil outside world, communist spies, anarchists, [the pc police the virtue signalers the woke dei agents the "almost forgot abt 'critical race theorists'"]" that it just so happens that agendas of Autonomy & Equality are ones that seem to inherently insidiously threaten & undermine their own. like yeah you're not wrong about that but in also true [every accusation a projection] form of course the belief must be that They are fostering bliss & freedom & the jealous evil agents of The Other are always trying to stop them :(

like "don't they realize this is counterproductive to the wellbeing of [what they're in charge of]" like compromises may be temporarily made along the way but not Really, no, & when push comes to shove it'll be about the priorizing of asserting & holding on to Controlling Lives vs anything that'd serve anything else. & that again, with families like you might see the decided Failure of that, e.g. very limited or completely absent relationship with an adult child, and you see that like. the Authority guardian/s who are the reason with it don't change their approach. any adjustments are strategic & meant to Ultimately restore the status quo; the people who managed to extricate themselves have to rely on their own ability to actually manifest their own choices to, say, be able to remove themself from the presence of this person if they want. and that like even with that lifelong experience of dealing with that Authority & the system under them it can be so difficult to believe like do they really not even question themself on all this despite the actual external consequences manifested? b/c the Logics are so different. the child made effectively Responsible for the actions of an adult or two / the supposed Wellbeing of the family is so much more used to having to consider others' Feelings & what might make them act xyz way, b/c of that impossible but evident tasking with being harmed if there's any Problems there, versus that the person "in charge of" the wellbeing of the family & individuals therein (& certainly the young children) being concerned with their own entitlement & whether everything seems to reinforce their authority, flexing it if not, disinterest in so much else, resentment for the physical needs of children as a begrudged investment in then lifelong entitlement to kids as property to give deference / whatever support you want. & when these "supported" children are never "grateful" enough, i.e. not noticeably thwarting efforts to access whatever a parent feels entitled to (with, exactly in line with all of this, pretty invariably Issues With (denial of) Any Boundaries, e.g. not allowed to close that bedroom door this is my house, not allowed to not want to be touched i made that body, not allowed to be unsupervised what are you hiding, not allowed to say no, not allowed to have feelings/moods/preferences/opinions not in harmony with mine...) like it's supposedly only an extreme, all the more sympathetic (to the authority parent) escalation of this Ingratitude to, if possible, escape the realm of said authority. can't believe they'd do this to me

just that tl;dr of like "but at this point [authority] is sabotaging themselves i.e. the longevity of any system where they even have that position of authority? surely they realize that & change their approach b/c they Have To?" & beyond "no, not necessarily" like it's so almost Necessarily that "they definitely will not & will just try to 'invest' in their perpetual authority (which is always trying to be Increased b/c it's also never total or unbroken) by upping the violence & lashing out & ignoring w/e they have to ignore b/c they do Not have any actual alternate way to address it" like no the parents lose the entire relationship with children & don't have Realizations abt it, don't question themselves, don't make a real change, don't stop feeling as, & increasingly, entitled

[dissociacrip]

this is okay to rb i think, especially if you have anything to add or any insight. idk. i'm tagging this the way that i am because i'm seeking community/connection(tm) or something

hypotonia is not like. a rare thing. not really. but i do remember my OT googling what it was.

low muscle tone/hypotonia may technically be a symptom rather than a diagnosis (barring benign congenital hypotonia, which afaik is controversial) but it's the closest thing to a "diagnosis" i've been given for some of this stuff because the potential cause of it hasn't been investigated and i guess it's not exactly urgent since my particular case isn't severe and doesn't seem progressive (hypotonia can be progressive & is involved in some progressive and degenerative conditions.)

but i wish it was talked about more and i wish more was known about it works and how it affects bodily function and i wish what we DO know about it was more accessible to the public when it comes to those who suffer from it. it's also kinda hard whether to KNOW you have it or not since its "signs" have so much overlap with other conditions that aren't related to muscle tone. it ranges a lot in severity too. and there's two different types (central and peripheral.) it's linked to dozens of diagnoses too which is why i say it's not uncommon.

but also i guess due to the complexity of how it affects the body and its lack of distinctiveness with most of its symptoms makes it kinda...hard to talk about? and i imagine w/ some people it's hard to distinguish the effects of hypotonia vs. their other problems. issues with chewing, writing, breathing, speaking, posture, coordination, etc. can be due to so many different things ranging from mental to physical. but it's not always something that can be lumped together w/ those other things because there's "my muscles don't work" in a terms of chronic muscular pain vs. "my muscles don't work" in terms of, like, they lack the ability to adequately support the body and bodily movement. if that makes any sense.

which ranges from someone like me where having to hold myself up sucks + mild motor skill/coordination impairments and mild developmental milestone delays, but others never meet those milestones or need assistance with things like breathing and ingesting food.

it's not a diagnosis but it can affect the body in complex ways like muscle shortening and stiffness due to our bodies having to compensate in weird ways for the lack of adequate tone (esp those of us who grew up with it), tibial torsion and femoral anteversion, flatfoot and knock-knees, reduced cervical lordosis sometimes leading to bruxism and occipital headaches, etc. PT centered around muscle strengthening to correct my "improper" movement and stuff.

and there's other stuff that can come with it that people like to consider """gross""" like drooling, constipation and other gastric, and pelvic floor dysfunction which can result in incontinence/problems with bladder control. muscles are involved in a lot of things. wild.

i'm rambling but i just wish more people talked about it. all i really have is that one interview that surestep did with meagan veracha, who has hypotonic cerebral palsy, about living with hypotonia as an adult.

maybe i wouldn't care all that much if i had a diagnosis that would "explain it" but "i might have gHSD/hEDS" doesn't rly do that for me because ppl in those communities obviously focus a lot on the joint dysfunction aspect (because those 2 conditions center around hypermobile joints so that's just natural, it's not a bad thing per-se, barring other problems that those communities have) but for me my case of symptomatic generalized hypermobility is secondary in how it impacts me vs. my muscles being bad at their job and my hypermobility might even be secondary to my hypotonia anyway.

dyspraxia/DCD (some people with it have hypotonia but not all - i thought i had it before i was told i was identified as having hypotonia when i was a kid...over two decades late) is another guess but again that centers more around coordination than things like "anything other than lying in bed is hard on me because my muscles don't support my body like they're supposed to."

maybe muscle tone is a complex medical concept that shouldn't really enter the public lexicon but i have no other language for it.

[crownedwille]

ngl im kinda confused on why people support crown wille so much. i’m open to the idea, but i’ve always read him the same way since ep1. he was miserable from the beginning of the show (before he even met simon) up until the end. everything about the monarchy affected him in a negative way. wille and simon could not have existed as a couple if wille didn’t step down (and i feel this is something i feel they’ve expressed since s1.) ntm that there is no such thing as a good monarch and wille has never wanted to be in that role. wille is not a PUBLIC person. and nether is simon.

i’m not sure why some ppl think the fall of their relationship came out of nowhere; different problems can always arise, especially with teenagers. maybe some more explaining would help me understand, but at this point i think crown wille was such a stretch to root for.

i’d also like to add that s1 and s2 more likely had open endings to leave as cliffhangers, while s3 is the conclusion of the story. obviously, it’s not to say that everything is figured out, but that everything will be okay.

oh boy, you really want me to get into this again, here we go

he was miserable from the beginning - yeah, imagine me wanting him to have actual development and have a different mindset in the end. you don't start off your protagonist with the same mindset and that never changes, that is not proper satisfying storytelling imo. and it seems like i do have to remind people every time but if wille steps down he will still be a prince, just the second in line and no longer the heir - which is exactly who he was in the beginning. so yeah actually nothing has changed. and there was already attention and pressure on him and he still had duties and i honestly do wonder what was so different about being crown prince bc they never actually showed us.

so he will never really 'escape' the monarchy, he still is part of the royal family, his mother is the queen and he ABSOLUTELY will be a public person his entire life. and simon by association too. a fucking sex tape came out with them and wille came out to the world as queer, there is no way that people won't care anymore about it just bc wille wouldn't be crown prince anymore in a year. and as if him renouncing wouldn't make any headlines and be a huge deal and simon and wilhelm wouldn't have to deal with the aftermath and consequences of that (if they're still together at that point which i have my doubts)

there will always be attention on wille and that is something that should be obvious and i don't understand why the fandom is choosing to be so naive and blissfully ignorant about this. no, i do know, bc the show is framing it like that and wanting people to think that and stay naive and blissfully ignorant to all these facts

and i love hearing how my interpretation was wrong from the start and of course you were right all along. how dare i had hope and thought the point of killing off erik and making wille the crown prince is bc he would do things differently and bring changes and "start a revolution" bc that is totally not what the show has been about before abandoning it and taking the easy way out and not wanting to deal with what that would really entail. how dare i saw wille question traditions at hillerska and him making a public speech addressing that as him stepping into his role as crown prince and show signs of a great, competent "leader" before they also abandoned that and made sure none of that mattered and erased his growth in s3. how dare i thought wille and simon both wanted changes to the monarchy instead of letting it stay exactly how it is and giving it over to a person who has done fucked up things to them and likes the system as it is

if that and the stuff you're saying was the message the entire time i find it really sad tbh and i call bullshit on it. i definitely don't see how everything will be okay now with none of simon's or wille's mental health issues addressed and implied they're actually working on it but yeah of course they escaped the ~evil~ monarchy now and it was all its fault they didn't work out and now they're completely fine and all their problems have vanished, how could i forget

[dearweirdme]

it’s rly interesting to me when ppl think 1.5 yrs of enlistment will have some downward affect on tkk’s relationship. they’ve known each other for 13 years…it’s not as if they met in 2023 and were forced to pause soon into knowing each other. they’re not trapped in there 24/7 either.

I fully expect nothing to happen tkk wise during this period and that doesn’t affect my views on them. and even if there was a change i would still support them as artists.

Hi anon!

Yeah, I don’t see a problem there as well. I think breakups are a possibility in every relationship. The strength of a relationship has to do with feelings and wanting to be together. Being apart for extended periods of time could easily make the ‘wanting to be together’ stronger instead of weaker… because you miss one another so much. Tae and Jk have such a history between them, their feelings won’t just change because they aren’t able to meet often. If hardship was something they weren’t able to overcome they wouldn’t have made it this far.

[ca-suffit]

Sam-reid reblogging posts from nalyra and accusing marius haters of having "surface level takes" is rich. She ignores everything about this blog (your blog which I love!) and deems to punish viewers for not being comfortable with a known pedophile rapist in a book. It's blogs like hers which make me glad to my bones that I'm not part of this fandom any longer. I get chills from the absolute hatred radiating from users like her and nalyra and oh the reciepts you posted about formerly Neilcfreak? I felt sick reading how she lashed out at that black fan who tried to explain to her about A03 and its policies. But sam-reid is a special brand of ignorance and cold indifference towards black fans and fans who have problems with certain areas of the books. She looks down on anyone who doesn't love every word of the books. If she's ok with grooming and rape more power to her; but she so arrogantly asserts that the ONLY reason someone might have problems with topics of RAPE AND GROOMING esp through a lens of pedophilia is because of surface level takes?!

Yikes. BIG YIKES. How someone can be so SURFACE LEVEL IGNORANT is frightening.

She seems to think only in fictional world terms because in the real world, rape happens frequently. Grooming happens daily. So for her to assert that the ONLY reason someone might have issues with a character is because of SURFACE LEVEL TAKES speaks volumes of what kind of human being she is.

Marius triggers victims of rape and grooming for very real reasons, as fiction tends to do, as reading tends to do. That's why we read, and that's why fiction affects us so DEEPLY. So while insensitive and callous racists like sam-reid use SURFACE LEVEL reasons to judge us, the rest of us will be over here, avoiding surface level jerks like sam-reid, on your blog as a safe place. ❤

hi and thank u for ur comment<3

Let me repost a link to the neilcfreak / gorrei / rei thing in case anyone needs to know the context, bcuz this is an important thing to know for ppl engaging with her. This just happened in 2023.

Anyway, I'm glad it feels safe here. I'm always happy to talk about this stuff or let ppl vent about it. The books *are* v triggering and most of the fandom will not talk about it, which doesn't help anyone tbh.

I'm gonna answer most of this under a cut bcuz of the topics, but let me clarify some stuff first. Anyone mentioned here is mentioned for a reason. There's been a real increase on complaints about sam-reid lately, so I hope she's rly paying attention and not just thinking everyone is saying this for no reason. Ppl get harmed when u have a big voice in the fandom and u say things like this and turn ppl against others who are more vulnerable than u, especially when it comes to real trauma issues? I'm gonna get into this more under the cut but just to clarify that this isn't some silly thing or personal bitching about someone for no reason. I don't have any thoughts about sam-reid as a person, idk them beyond posts here. But this same attitude is across all of the big fandom ppl and it trickles down to hurting everyone, which is a big reason why this account is even here.

(I posted these screenshots smaller together but they won't save like that so sry they post long like this)

I'd also like to say that monstersinthecosmos runs with the og white woman fandom bullies from before the show aired. The fact that the same usernames show up supporting each other all the time is never surprising tbh.

Anyway TW for trauma, CSA, abuse

Everyone handles trauma differently, so a lot of what I've seen from the fandom over the years is ppl who handle it like this ^^ insisting it's the only "correct" way bcuz they can't look at it any other way, yet or maybe ever. Since Marius is so tied to childhood sexual abuse, it's always made sense bcuz a) a lot of ppl read these books as kids and b) Anne Rice wrote things in a way that romanticizes abuse. If u have never looked at the characters and/or ur own abuse as an adult, then here we are. Everything is fiction, everything is fun, nothing needs to be "real." Bcuz abused kids disconnect from abuse that same way. Some ppl stay there forever.

I'm not shaming that either. U can't dictate how ppl move thru abuse and trauma. We all do what we do. Everyone who comes into the IWTV / VC stories however it happens prbly comes from trauma. It just sucks that Anne Rice inspired such a dogshit view of the world in ppl that a group that's already ripe for infighting (traumatized ppl) gets made worse bcuz she taught everyone to be loud and wrong and then louder and more wrong. Don't ever look at ur own actions, just shout ppl down!!

The reason ppl tend to dislike book ppl is bcuz nothing is ever discussed. There's this simultaneous mindset of "I'm v smart" but also "I'm never gonna talk in depth about anything." Everyone can see this but u can't ever get *them* to see it. Conversations are impossible. Then they constantly talk down on others like this to keep everything hostile. They have to be "right," so playing up as if their perspective is the only true one and acting as if criticism of Anne Rice or the books is "so mean" bcuz of misogyny or ppl lacking media literacy or "don't they know they're all monsters lol" is the only thing they know how to do.

Traumatized ppl don't like to feel stupid, ignored, and dismissed. These big voices don't come from nothing. A lot of the vampires in the books reflect real responses to trauma, both in their personalities and how they move around each other. We also reflect that. I wish ppl could learn from that more. Unfortunately, we're prbly always gonna be in two camps about it. That's why this fandom tends to remain small no matter how big anything gets. Those who want to speak more on these themes and explore abuse tend to leave, or at least leave a lot of public spaces, bcuz these ppl have set up to always take in new recruits and bully ppl in groups. They're a small number of fans tbh, in all reality, they just look bigger bcuz they work together to build that illusion. They don't individually have the strength to get attention on their own so they gather together to reference each other a lot, recommend each other to whoever (which has now extended to cast and crew as well), and get in more spaces. Then they get to feel more "important" and soothe all the childhood trauma of nobody noticing them then, but doesn't everyone notice them now? Except look at what u did to get there. They don't care tho, everyone they've stepped over is just a "hater" or w/e.

This is why it's crucial to examine these characters and then reflect on urself too and ask if maybe ur the fucking villain sometimes. The answer will surprise u!

[yuriyuruandyuraart]

Are you aware that I'm-a-gay-fish and Zu ship dr//m/are ?/genq

okay so it took me a while to answer this but i finally found the words to so here goes; yeah i do know, and i totally understand if you don't ship it, neither do i, but there's nothing i can do about it?

they're allowed, so long as they don't harm people, to do whatever they want on their own platforms. and before you ask me if i support *ncest, would you actually ask someone if they support toxic relationships and murder whenever they ship two unhealthy killers with mental problems? because that's funnily enough what most people do around here! you can say it's not the same, and that they're romanticizing it, but i can personally detach myself from fiction enough to realize that while this concept depicted in their art shouldn't be recreated in real life, that doesn't mean they actually engage or support people that do that irl- they asked zu the same question so many times, and frog doesn't either and i've known gayfish for three years! you're well within your right to stop associating with them or distance yourself from their content but i myself won't.

i know fiction affects reality to a degree, don't twist my words please, but if you're too young to consume that kind of content with a nuanced perspective or is triggered/affected by it then as long as they tag their content properly then you can unfollow, block and move on. i have a habit of following and reblogging people's works before looking at their bios and before i know it find myself having to choose between two sides i don't belong to and i frankly don't want to! anti this or proship that- in this online era you have to adapt by keeping your cool and curating your own online experience and viewing people in black and whites is stressful, painful and dangerous for everyone involved. i don't even reblog the content you probably have a problem with, and i'm honestly still scared of the response i'll get-

i will not blame or hate whoever unfollows or blocks me for this, it's to be expected, but please don't think about it like some bad vs good guys dilemma? sometimes thought provoking morally grey ambiguous stories with messed up characters spark more positive discussion and healing than people looking into it because they suffer from the same delusions and want a justification-

like realistically, in my blog, most ppl here are basically shipping two literal skeletons with magic in their bones who are sometimes almost the exact copy of one another, and who theoretically have a very similar dna, and sometimes they make shipkids, which, if you know anything about *ncest, is one of the main reasons why you shouldn't bang your siblings - mostly from a moral standpoint because that's so gross i can't even think of it, but also because any offspring would suffer greatly from physical and mental diseases hidden in their genetic code- like. you could argue it's not the same but it's sancest for a reason. and even when they're widely different sanses, you wouldn't think fell x sans is wrong (at least in this specific community) but really we've all just gotten numb to how weird that sounds. trust me, there's a reason we don't talk about our ships to outsiders HHH

TL,DR: so while i greatly encourage you to block people and content you don't want to see/associate with, including me! i hope i made it clear why i, personally, don't care about dreammare and whoever ships it.

[retrotrait]

wait last anon got my attention and ive also been wanting to send you a long ass ask dissecting simon's behavior lol~ also cw this talks about drug abuse!

I don't want to be a simon shooter, but I feel like he deserves empathy considering he abuses substances and has trauma from his childhood. Not to excuse his behavior at all. I feel for anani and simon because i was in a relationship with someone who abused substances (xanax) this was in my senior yr of high school & it sucked seeing someone you care about constantly high of their ass vs. the person you met. The drugs affect not only the person, but the people around them and its awful.

There is such a stigma towards people who abuse substances (I personally dont like to use the word addict thats just me tho!!) I feel like people tend to think ppl who abuse drugs act out on purpose and want to purposely hurt their loved ones, when that isnt the case.

Anani was without a doubt, simon's diamond in the rough. It does make me feel a certain was that his mother called her to BASICALLY, fix her son. Girl.............that is your child, Im pretty sure his mother asked her to "get him help" because she couldnt face the music, she couldnt see history repeat itself, but you cannot send someone over that he hurt so many times to fix things.

I believe Anani continuously stayed by his side because she thinks itll be different everytime. She could fix him, its possible in her eyes because of their bond, but that is not true at all. He needs to realize for himself that he needs help. If he cares about the people he loves he would go and get help. Anani is def a push over in this case (im sorry my queen PLS STAND UP I KNO U LOVE HIM BUT PLSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS STAND UP!!)

I dont think its possible for them to have a platonic friendship after everything, but I do believe Simon needs a good support system around him and MAYBE anani could be apart of that support system...minus the physical bc from what it seems, simon uses Anani like temporary medicine to ease his pain & it hurts to see Anani care and love him, but get hurt in the end :c

I love what you're doing with this story & I am so excited for what is yet to come. <3

You couldn't be righter and the number one reason I created an OC with substance abuse problems is because I know how one sided it can be for people to misjudge them, even the people who love them. It's not as easy as quit and get better and I wanted that to reflect who Simon is.

Anani became that drug replacement for him as well and even loving someone to that extent can be unhealthy because without them you don't know who you are (also a reason why he left in the first time around) the town, his parents, even Anani, he needed to separate himself from becoming the person his brother was but unfortunately, it's not easy when you're in that party/rockstar lifestyle. He's stuck be

To Anani, he also became like a drug, someone who filled that musical emptiness that her mom's passing left. Like you said, she wants to fix him, it's in her nature and him knowing that makes walking away a little bit easier to understand, however wrong it was to do it in that situation. It's very on brand for him the "not wanting to hurt someone while hurting them."

I think their relationship thrives on that push and pull, that "I hate you but I love you." I just don't know if it would work if they were ever just good to each other without the toxic-ness.

<333 ILY and thank you for sending this amazing dissection of these characters.