#even if it goes unnoticed
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How many words have I written in blood,
To bleed through unkissed pages?
The last time I was myself,
The microphone gave feedback,
As you fell asleep-
I spill my soul only here,
Only here,
For you to see-
A declaration of who I am,
And who I'd like to be,
And everything you've woven into me-
How many words have I agonized over,
To later feel it crushed within my hand-
To never be seen again?
To write only for another is to die,
And I fear I've died for you..
..A thousand times over.
x
..
..
... @nosebleedclub - Oct. 19th; Grand Gesture
#poets on tumblr#writing#spilled ink#poem#spilled thoughts#original poem#sad thoughts#lovesick#poems#poetry#tumblr is my diary#poem prompt#my grand gesture is#writing for somebody#even if it goes unnoticed#especially when it goes unnoticed#prose poetry#free verse#heartbreak#dark academia#dark poetry
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We actually think you're a really good kid beneath all this stupid attitude! ↳ Betsy Swain + (Un)conditional love
#when you're a 16 year old kid who has to act out to get attention bc otherwise your mum can't give you the time of day#but the guilt from acting out has you doubting if you're even worthy of that attention after all#let alone her love.....#when you think the love from the only parent you have left is dependent on your good behaviour.... but your good behaviour goes unnoticed..#when your mum and her gf keep reassuring you after every mess-up and every mistake and every misdeed that no actually we love you#we think you're a good kid we think the world of you we know you can do better be better#but then you see your mum interact with others in away that completely contradicts this you see her think everyone thinks the worst of her.#swarla#betsy swain#mygifs#*
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Interesting thing I realized is that the reason Peri still has his fuckass hair swirl in object form is most likely to make it easier to tell him apart from Cosmo (especially for colorblind kids), as he and his dad have the exact same facial features! Which is cool to note, I love character design.
I would also like to put it on record that this could've been fixed if you let him keep the eyelashes he had as a baby. I will forever be an advocate for that LET HIM BE SLAY-
#fop#fairly oddparents#yeah this isn't like. yknow. it's not like a theory or some meaningful assessment of a character#but it's still interesting! one of those little aspects of character design that usually goes unnoticed#(the reason I noticed it was bc I saw the unused alt title card for O:BT that has him as a candle WITHOUT his hair swirl#and I glanced over to Cosmo. also a candle. who looked the exact same#and I realized OH!)#and ngl i do genuinely think the eyelashes would've been better for this even ignoring that i like them outside of object form#like the hair swirl just looks kinda strange here??? idk#headphones r not supposed to have fuckass hair swirls...#fop peri#periwinkle fairywinkle-cosma#peri fairywinkle-cosma
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Otori group changing their goals from “quick and easy way to bring in more funds to the park” to “putting in the work to bring in more park attendance while maintaining the park’s original vision” & tsukasa not choosing the easy path to fame with the commercial opportunity and instead putting his full support behind the wms show & rui choosing the fast track to his dreams in curtain call but then ultimately staying with wxs (which was what he truly desired). And to a lesser extent - emu being told to slow down and take her time to learn and grow in popping in my heart/ohe and Nene refusing to just take the compliments her hero gave her and instead ask to undergo some really intensive training in canary.
#I say to a lesser extent because emu/nene haven’t really been handed a golden opportunity to fast track their dreams in the way tsukasa/rui#have. because that would kind of defeat the whole point of the first arc for emu’s goal of saving wonder stage/pxl and so far no one has#gone up to nene and been like hey come sing for us it’ll get you closer to broadway even if it’s at the detriment of others#mine#I’m sure I could spell out a more succinct point. but I’m tired.#+ nene obviously is on that grind singing wise but this took a backseat to relearning being comfortable on stage in the first arc#and often goes unnoticed due to tsukasa ‘the grind is life’ tenma#and emu’s work towards her goals is more business/pxl oriented
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#i could word vomit my feelings here but alas i already feel so small and unimportant#and the point of venting here isn’t to get notes but alas i will just feel worse when inevitably it goes unnoticed#not that i even want attention for it anyway#but. suffice to say. don’t feel great rn#doesn’t help that i’m extra sensitive this time of the year#because my dead dad’s birthday is five days after mine so i always Struggle emotionally#(mine is sunday and his is the 21st)#to be deleted#personal
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NEVER DOUBT HAN SOOYOUNG
#remember when i said even if she might seem the most reckless nothing ever goes unnoticed by her? yeah yeah yeah#i knew she was going to be the first to notice. or the first to point out at least. cz it feels like yjh noticed too#also avater kdj getting flustered... giggles#that's my doksoo#sai reads orv#orv ch520#doksoo
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the quality of tv shows that get popular on Tumblr and the quality of Doctor Who episodes are on the exact same wavelength of complete and utter inconsistency. sometimes you fire it up and it's hot garbage, just a pile of steaming dog shit. another week you could try again and it's still garbage but in a way that's paradoxically entertaining. after laying low for a while, you could hesitantly reach out again and find that your fingers are touching the cold surface of pure gold.
dungeon meshi falls in that last category for me. i did NOT expect it to be as good as it is.
#dungeon meshi#doctor who#delicious in dungeon#it took a few episodes for dungeon meshi to really set its hooks in me#but now i'm rewatching season 1 and i'm fucking blown away#my litmus test for good storytelling (or at least storytelling that i like best) is that is should get BETTER the second time around#i personally just dont care all that much for shock-value plottwists#i want a build-up even (ESPECIALLY) if it goes unnoticed the first time around
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i think there is something fundamentally rotten and spoiled about my soul. and i think everyone can tell but is to nice to tell me to go away because its disgusting
#that has to be why no matter how hard i try#i cant fucking connect with other people and no one cares about what i love#i cant even get my best friend to read my favorite books or play my favorite game without holding her hand thru the whole thing#i am constantly being spoken over and ignored#and i dont think people would notice if i simply. stopped#fuck they *DONT* notice#and i know this is manipulative and attention seeking but#is it even morally wrong if no one notices?#is anyone harmed by my attention seeking behavior if it goes totally ignored and unnoticed by the entire world#the only person aware of my attention seeking behaviors is myself. and i know how badly they fail#even fucking. prosocial attention seeking behavior goes unnoticed#i spend day after day working myself up to try and get a crumble of connection built on my own interests#and its ignored and posted over in 5 mins. and the thing that posted over me gets infinity more attention. and the post behind mine.#i am actively being ignored. and i have to be okay with that because if im not. im killing myself. and i cant do that#so i have to be fine with constnatly being ignored and shunned.#and each and every day that rot in my soul grows thicker and deeper#i dont know how much how much of me remains. and how much is a mouldy recreation based on fuzzy memories
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i've come to the conclusion that i either have the worst timing when it comes to messaging/posting or i'm straight up annoying every single soul on earth so i just get ignored. or maybe both
#this has to do both with irl and online life#triggered mostly by irl events though#i’m fully aware how stupid i sound#i’m also fully aware that i’m insecure af and i suck at communication so it's kinda important to me to message someone first#(only to usually go unnoticed or burried under other messages and issues and idk what else)#same goes with posting; i suck at interacting and idk how else to contribute to a community so i just post stuff/gifs and kinda expect to-#-be counted as someone worthy and when it doesn't happen i feel even more worthless than i already do#and to top it all i’m also in a bad place lately (when haven't i been though) so it’s defo a me thing. you can just ignore this post too#guess that's why i rant here anyway. it's almost sure no one will care about how i feel so i just dump my thoughts and that's all 🤷🏻♀️#this is emma speaking
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Transcript: Maybe this blog is an outlier because of the anonymity, but I genuinely didn’t realize so many people just…. Disliked Sans and works mostly involving him? I could be misreading, but I hadn’t even noticed the resentment within the fandom (likely because I was in my own niche)
#undertale#undertale au#utdrmv confession#confession#// There’s definitely some pent up rage against sans and i’m glad that people can take it all out in the confession box#I can’t even blame them to be quite honest#it’s hard to find content of other characters#and when someone does post the other characters it usually goes unnoticed.#I have a feeling one of these sans haters might be a mildly disgruntled artist#one who does everything to get their non-sans artworks noticed#but at the end of the day only the skeletons get the fame#that’s just a theory though. did not mean to ramble so much about people I do not know
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My recent nightly listenings of AGOT had me reach Ned's chapter in the black cells and. None of you are talking about how Ned can't even muster himself to cry over his daughters? How he's repressed himself so deep in his honor man Lord Stark persona that he can't express frustration at what's happening? That all he can think is about Cersei being right and him being wrong? That Cersei haunts his dreams more than anyone else, because she did the same he would've done, that everyone abandoned him because he didn't follow their warnings, hallucinating about Robert and he doesn't even care about what happened and accepts his own death?
That man needs to have his brain picked with sharp tools I want ANSWERS what is going on in your head
#asoiaf#valyrianscrolls#.txt#ned is so fascinating and he's so often reduced to normal man honest man dumb#ned is so much more he's such a weirdo#even beyond the lyanna trauma#and this just goes unnoticed
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i think it’s rlly fucked up vyris gave pest the character who’s face is incapable of being anything other than a big smile when he’s on last life
#bowieposting#torn between wanting to be somebody and wanting to be nobody forever#get a little bit more attention and earn false hope for an ending u won’t get#or#fade into the background so hard even ur death goes unnoticed#pests in. a weird little spot rn#it gets worse the longer i think abt him#i’m so stuck tho i can’t do more until the games over
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ningguang makes me so damn sad because she keeps her heart and her memories so damn guarded. even among the friends who have known her for decades like yelan and beidou, she's always so careful with what she lets slip out.
the saddest part? this is the result of trust issues from her youth. she used to be someone who would wear her heart on her sleeve, albeit naively trusting of others. but oh, did she learn how cruel human beings can be. too many friends, lovers, and ( potential ) business partners took advantage of her generosity and her skillsets and left her with absolutely nothing. she was stuck trying to rebuild and just survive time and time again, to the point where she could only truly trust herself.
that belief in herself and her abilities has gotten her far and no one can ever claim to have the upper hand over her... but don't let her fool you. it's lonely from her perch in the clouds.
#✨ ▫╰ headcanons / i am no mother‚ i am no bride‚ i am king.#i'm giving kudos to /anyone/ who dares to try to genuinely romance this woman#because you're in it for the long haul#but it's not impossible#and what gets me#is that once you get past her walls and you get her in private moments#she's so damn soft#her kindness and generosity often goes unnoticed#because she chooses to show it in small but impactful ways#even if it's just ordering someone their favorite food#she doesn't do grand displays of affection#it's the little things that matter most in the end
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absolutely love the way the main character’s mother in this book is written….the way she reflects on how her daughter hero worshipped her father and didn’t actually know how he really was (a bad husband who she had to treat like another child and who cheated on her and who was very misogynistic) and how much it hurts the way that she loved him more when she was the one who nurtured her is so real. it reminds me of that quote that’s like father and daughter will look down on mother together but this will not save the daughter from the mother’s fate…..def my favorite part of this book
#michelle speaks#like they’re arguing w each other and the daughter was like this isn’t even your house dad paid for it#and the mother was like no he didn’t i paid for it w my inheritance money and he couldn’t have afforded it bc he helped too many ppl at his#auto shop for free so he wasn’t making a profit. and the daughter was like that’s bc he helps ppl and you’ve never helped anyone#and the mother thinks to herself abt how she had volunteered for free for a bunch of things to help ppl#and her daughter just didn’t know abt it bc she didn’t brag like her father did. and that is just so. yeah.#women’s work goes unnoticed unrewarded and unappreciated…….i wish this whole book was from the mother’s pov 😩
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hey, don't cry
420 Easter this year
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I think it's time .
#//come and keep your comrade warm!#what more could a switch want than a dangerous russian spy whose entire disguise is being a cringefail dork. wdym I'm insane.#do you see my vision. i can scratch his lil ears and grab his horns and shove my tongue in his mouth til he forgets what he's even there for#and once he REMEMBERS he can lovingly condescend me in russian for being too trusting while shoving his knee between my legs#awkward cute goat dude who would feel irresistibly warm and soft if i stuck a hand up his shirt.#guy whose tail goes haywire the closer your hand gets to where he wants it. bf who lays down like a good boy so you can kiss him all over#I want to overstimulate him sooo bad he's white bread if it were a man but he's nice and well intentioned#and apparently that's enough to make me want to give you head nowadays. sad!#but also hello i do not know how to handle the russian spy thing. i have been so normal about it on main.#the three ppl that followed me here need to know how good of a job i've been doing of BEING NORMAL ABOUT NIKOLAI#LIKE HAHA. hahahaha. you are a national threat gone widely unnoticed and spend all of your time carefully crafting a good natured persona#and you were also given only one episode to be vaguely expanded on so my brain can go crazy with how you actually behave#like i don't think he's an evil mastermind. i don't think he's evil. he's the secret second thing that still makes murder ethical to you#and also makes you hotter sorry#i am a nightmare to the US instinctual red scare. if you put a communist in front of me I'm gonna wanna fuck him I'm sorry#especially when he's THAT cute how am i not supposed to want him to groan in my ear and show me that he's much more in charge than I think#beyond cooked. I'm charred. flambeéd.
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