#and you were also given only one episode to be vaguely expanded on so my brain can go crazy with how you actually behave

[groovysins]

I think it's time .

[uhlikzsuzsanna]

Richard E. Grant Reveals Whether Classic Loki Is Gone for Good: 'How Do You Top That?' (Exclusive)

[Warning: The below contains MAJOR spoilers for Loki Season 1, Episode 5, “Journey Into Mystery.”]

Richard E. Grant seems the ideal candidate to be conscripted into Marvel's cinematic universe: He's an Oscar nominee (Can You Ever Forgive Me?) who doesn't take himself too seriously (he's been in two Hitman's Bodyguard movies) and he's already on the Disney payroll (having joined the Star Wars franchise for The Rise of Skywalker). Yet, the actor says he and Marvel had never discussed his entrée into the MCU until Loki.

"I'd been in Logan, but that's completely separate," he told me over Zoom. "I'd joked on and off down the years with Tom Hiddleston, because of some vague similarity in the way that we look -- me, a much older version of course -- about working together as father and son in something. I assumed because I was asked to play Old Loki, I thought, 'Oh, this is the call finally,' because of the physical similarity. So, that's as much as I knew."

Grant made his Loki debut in the post-credits scene of episode 4 as "Classic" Loki, a Variant of our Hiddleston's God of Mischief who dons Loki's comics-accurate green and gold getup and ultimately goes out in a blaze of magical glory in the penultimate episode. Ahead of the Loki finale, Grant chatted with ET about answering Marvel's call, his one major complaint with his costume and whether Classic Loki is gone for good.

ET: Beyond you looking Hiddleston-y or him looking Richard E. Grant-y, what was it about this character in this story that you knew, "Yes, this is my part in the MCU"?

Richard E. Grant: Well, the key is in Old Loki, because being 64, I was older than anybody on the entire crew or cast. So, that was the clue in, I thought, "Old Loki, that's it -- I'm in the old age roles now."

What else were you told about him in that initial pitch? And was the costume part of it? Because it seems so much part of the character.

Yeah. And when the costume designer showed me my face on this costume that she designed and I saw the Jack Kirby drawings from the '60s, I thought, "Oh, great! As I have no muscles" -- as you can see -- "I'm finally going to be in a muscle suit. I'm going to have muscles like Tom has got!" And of course, I got there and I said, "Well, where's the muscle suit?" They said, "You don't have a muscle suit. This is what you're wearing." I said, "But this is like Kermit the Frog. There's no muscles. There's nothing here! How can I fight in Asgard?" [Laughs] "No, no, it's your magic that counts!" And I said, "Help me. Just give me the muscle suit," but they refused. So, I'm still sore headed that I was never given a muscle suit to fight Asgard as in all the drawings. I still don't really why they didn't do that, but maybe they wanted withered Loki. Who knows?

So, what was your reaction the first time you got all the garb on and saw yourself in the mirror?

Horrified, because I had no muscles! I was standing there like sort of a geek with these Y-fronts. I remember when I was a kid in the back of all the comics, they used to have these little drawing adverts with a skinny kid having sand kicked in his face. And they used to have these chest expanders, they said, "Send off for one of these chest expanders and you too could look like Thor!" Well, I never did, and I thought, well, finally, when I'm cast as Old Loki, this is going to be my chance. And damn, they took it away from me in that too. So I'm pissed at them for that.

How did Hiddleston react when he first saw you in it?

He said, "You have no idea what kind of response this is going to elicit when it comes out." I said, "That doesn't sound too positive or hopeful to me without the muscles, Tom." And he said, "No, no, believe me, I've been playing this part and there's a universe of people who are so obsessed and so ready to see Classic Loki. Be prepared for it." I didn't really take him seriously. I thought, "Well it's a TV series. How many people will watch this on a new channel?" Yada, yada. And how right he was looking into the crystal ball and how wrong I was, because since it came out last Wednesday, I have been absolutely flabbergasted by the response. My Twitter feed and Instagram have increased in vast numbers, and the response has been pretty astonishing. I'm amazed and grateful that it hasn't been negative so far.

I loved your post, by the way, about how your father would have reacted to this costume.

Well, he was right! I'm still at 64 earning my crust by wearing makeup and green tights. [Laughs]

I have to assume this was also your first time with an alligator as your scene partner?

It was. And in reality it was three stuffed cushions sewn together. Sort of fun to hold!

Alligator Loki is such a breakout star and I loved seeing the blue plushy you used on set. What was it like filming those scenes? Did it feel absolutely ridiculous?

No, because I was grateful. Very often you'd have dots or crosses or just a tennis ball on a stick to react to, so the fact that we actually had the soft cushioned shape of something alligator-like was a help. But it's just the nature of being an actor. You know that the CGI and the graphics and production design department, they come up with something amazing. What I didn't take on board is that, of course, he'd have these beautiful gold horns on top of his alligator sideways eyes. I love that. I've only seen the stills of it, but it looks amazing.

Your final moment in the episode is so powerful. I'll tell you, it brought tears to my eyes. On set, I imagine you're probably in front of a blue screen having to use your imagination. Tell me about capturing that emotion and how you and Kate Herron found that moment together?

The camera was on a big sort of jig crane thing that was at the highest section of the studio and I would follow a mark on that and they had, I think, three or four aircraft-sized wind machines blowing the Bajesus out of everything. And I thought, having wondered whether the helmets and the horns had to be quite so tight, I was grateful for them on that day because they did not move despite the amount of wind that was blowing at me. It was scripted to say, "He's laughing and shortly and cackling in the face of his own imminent, catastrophic death in the mouth of [Alioth]," it was very empowering to be able to just give it the full welly at doing that. So, I enjoyed that hugely.

You said you've only seen stills of Alligator Loki. Have you seen the episode yet?

No.

So, you haven't seen how the scene looks with all the CGI yet?

I've seen stills that I'm holding up the city, so I've seen that. I have never got used to watching myself on screen. I love watching other people, but when I come on, I just-- I'm astonished that I get any work. So, I've learned decades ago just to never watch. So, when you see a still, you don't have the horror of your shortcomings to mull over.

Well, I will tell you, you looked pretty bad ass in that moment.

Good. Thank you, John!

This seems like the end for Classic Loki, but if this series has taught us one thing, it's that Lokis survive. Do you think we could see him again someday? And are you down to play him again?

As you just said, everything's possible. But I think that's because his sacrifice is so huge and it's going out with such a bang, how do you top that if he had to come back? I have no idea. You know, it's not within my arena to do that. But I wouldn't say no, if asked. Put it that way.

[nightswithkookmin]

You need to back up your ON break up theory with more than just fake subs and vague statements about 'claiming behavior'.

During the period you allege they were broken up, Jimin pulled Jungkook in a hug on run behind, Jungkook called Jimin sexy at a press conference, Jimin and jungkook did that whole 'how does it feel to be in the same unit'/'time to change' flirty thing, Jimin grabbed Jungkook by the lapels... and more. Begging pardon but if they were grieving the loss of their romantic relationship while trying to be professional colleagues and pals.... isnt that sort of insensitive? Like I know you admitting you might have read it wrong and have changed your view in light of new footage might be a blow to your ego, but I don't think you are thinking rationally when you insist on this break up theory. It's sad because I found so much meaning and connection in some of the stuff you have written, particularly pertaining to internalized homophobia, racism, mysogynoir and bts changing over time to become more enlightened, but your devotion to this ONE theory, and defensiveness whenever it is (rightly imo) challenged makes me wary of your theories in general, which might be extremely unfair to you, as a thinker. Your log is really funny and great in a lot of ways so i cant really quit you.

Ahhhh it's been a while I got one of these...

Hello, how you doing! Lol. Silver is that you?

Chilee, it's the name calling for me.

Ego, irrational, charlatan, Tuktukker- I'm desensitized to such ad hominems at this point. You don't throw words like these around and expect me to sit at the table and talk. Imma yeet myself out real fast. Lol.

There's just something different, wholesome almost, about this post though. Sounds constructive I think. Or maybe it's because I just woke. Chilee. Lol.

It doesn't feel at all like you are attacking me. It's strange...

You're gaslighting though but it's fine. I've built a resistance to that from years and years of dealing with my abductors or family. Potato potahto.

I often put my sanity before other's insanity which is why I don't indulge posts such as these and I'm not sorry about that. I mean is this an Ask or Submission? I don't- what am I supposed to say? What is the call to action?

Sigh.

If I come across as defensive sometimes, 10 out of 10, it's probably because the person on the other end is being offensive. Straight up. Cause and effect, the science don't lie.

You don't expect me to not defend when I'm being attacked. That's just tacky.

I don't think there's anything wrong with challenging views and notions because at the very least, that's about the exchange of ideas and I welcome it.

I set the limits at the racial slurs, the mocking tones, the emotionally charged rants meant to disparage me and my entire ancestry rather than argue a point, the interference with my personal life and business all because I hold a different view on a topic, the doxing, gaslighting, the bad mouthing, spreading lies about me, turning my friends against me, stripping away my rights and copyrights, harassing people who enjoy my work among- other things.

I usually exercise my right to self preservation in these instances- imma block, delete, ignore, forward or clap back. Word. Lol.

I'm sorry, but if you have to attack the individuality of a person to argue your point, you've lost the argument and you never had one to begin with.

Take for instance, the bit you wrote about me taking a blow to 'my ego' - do you see the problem with that?

What has holding a view different from yours on a particular subject got to do with the ego?

Do you mean to say the only way I can hold an opinion different from yours on a matter is if I were hubristic?

Are you projecting? What's happening? Lol

And if I call you out for this, I'm defensive? Way to add gaslighting to your bigotry and intolerance of opinions that don't align with yours. No offense.

I give myself permission to hold unpopular views. I give myself permission to think differently from others. I give myself permission to see what I see and believe what I believe and form an opinion on what I see and believe divorced from others' views and based on my own understanding of the workings of this world or in this case Jikook.

No amount of name calling will change this fact. We see things from different perspectives after all.

You need to back your ON break up theory with more than just fake subs and vague claims about claiming behavior.

Lol. Fake subs? You mean the Hajima bit from the On comeback special I put in my video? Interesting.

I think I see what you mean about my break up theory and I agree to some extent. Like, come up here with charts and paragraphs and excel spreadsheets on why I think Jikook were broken up?

I would be happy to do that kind of analysis.

I think the problem for me here is, I feel tasked to convince rather than to share my opinion on the matter or even expand on my theories for discourse sakes and that makes me really uncomfortable.

Not to psychoanalyze you, but I feel when you ask this of me you are not just asking me to divulge my thoughts on a topic but to disabuse you of your own biases surrounding the topic.

I don't think this is about my opinion at all. I think it's about your own beliefs about Jikook. And there's nothing wrong with that. If you believe in something you need to stand for it. Just don't mind if others do same and don't call them names for doing so. Because if you do mind, then that's bigotry.

The fact is my opinion contradicts your beliefs about Jikook and you either want to punish me for it hence the slurs, are in denial, or you want to believe my point of view- can't really tell.

I think there is a limit in general to how far I can prove Jikook in anyway and that has nothing to do with lack of evidence, my ego or my rationality. And yes, I often shroud my beliefs in vague expressions because I don't want to set myself up or open myself up to legal suits. I can only prove Jikook to a point and nothing beyond my belief. Beyond that, I would be skating on thin ice and making bighit a tad richer.

During the period you allege they were broken up, Jimin pulled JK in a hug, grabbed Jungkook by his lapel, JK called Jimin sexy, they did the flirty challenge...

So if I understand you correctly, all these is what makes Jikook a couple to you and indicate they are dating?

Alright then.

Hobi calls Jimin sexy all the time. BTS calls eachother sexy all the time. I don't think that's a sign they are in a polyamory.

Jungkook plays with his hyungs' dick and ass and talks about falling for them most times. I don't think that makes him gay or in a relationship with any of them.

Lemme just cut to the chase. I've reached my photo limits. I have said a countless times now, that I don't view skinship and all these interactions you've pointed out as indication two people are dating- especially not two Koreans working within the homoerotically charged space of Kpop.

And I have given out a few of the metrics I use in considering whether any ship in BTS is real over the course of my blogs- intimacy, exclusive behaviors such as and not limited to claiming eachother and exercising certain rights and authorities over eachother and against the group, stress trails as a result of keeping their relationship a secret, the microaggressions, breaching the fourth wall and others.

I think what this comes down to is differences in perspectives on a fundamental level. Not egos.

I don't see the things you see as the signs Jikook are real and dating, as signs Jikook are real and dating. If I did, I would be seeing every ship in BTS as real but I don't.

And you consider the metrics I use in ascertaining Jikook as vague something something. I think we are at an impasse.

But explain the bit about 'insensitive' to me please. I would love to engage in that discourse. Why would it be insensitive for two exes to act cordially with eachother within a workplace in the aftermath of a breakup?

Then the bit about grieving...

So grieving is one of your metrics for accessing whether or not two people are broken up?

That's interesting. I mean I don't disagree but I also don't think Jikook are gonna come to work with oversized pajamas, dark shades, boxes of tissues and a blanket slung over their shoulders because of a broken heart... it's 2020 not Manila. They've grown, are learning and getting better at dealing with their emotions on camera because, as Suga pointed out, they are aware the least bit of tension translates to the screens.

I mean Jimin said it himself in his 2020 interview, he's learned to react less intensely to certain things. And sometimes, he tries to downplay certain things. He tries to perform Jikook when Jikook are not in a great place. It's only in recent times, On era, where JK has opted out and not gone along with it.

I think he does that and uses their shared 'Jikook agenda' and performances of Jikook as a means to fix things or break the ice between them at least.

But clearly Jk wasn't having it that day as he kept putting up boundaries with Jimin throughout that Run episode- unless of course you are disputing this as well on the grounds Jimin dragged his ass into a hug. Chilee.

I think most people wouldn't have felt there was something off with Jikook in that On period at all had it not been for Run 116. It's similar to how, had it not been for Jimin's birthday saga, the Esquire shoot behind scenes and Grammy reaction video, no one would have felt there was something going on between Jikook in the October timeline.

I think we would have seen and felt the less interactions and professionalism between them in the aftermath of it but for the most parts, moments like the couch scene in the Grammy reaction video wouldn't have made sense to any of us especially as we had just witnessed JK in the ON:E concert rushing to comfort and console JM when he was tearing up at the end of the concert.

At least when he pushed JM into a ditch somewhere in the dark in Soop we know he had been drinking and they were playing competitive sports. Even with that he still showed some concern when Jimin fell and injured himself afterwards.

I think we would all be wondering if Jikook were fanservice at that point, a fanservice relationship where JK only consoled Jimin when he cried infront of thousands of people at concerts and nibbled his ear while he was at it.

And I think we would be on opposite sides of the argument: me, arguing Jikook were experiencing a hiccup in their relationship and you, rationalizing that moment with anything from 'JK don't have to be at JM's beck and call' 'he is an introvert who is shy to show affections publicly' to even something about the weather.

But I would have looked at this moment from the October pop up video behind scenes and assumed JK was mad at Jimin for something JM had done and had done something in retaliation and was now feeling sorry he did.

And I would have based it off of this moment, or a countless similar ones from around On era or the previous eras where JK had done this exact same thing- frozen in place and staring at Jimin in the middle of a shoot or interview after sliding his hands down Tae's chest, clung on to the others unnecessarily to get a reaction out of JM.

Would I have been right? It really doesn't matter to me as long as it makes sense to me. I ship Jikook in a way that makes sense to me. Jikook are gay, in a gay relationship with each other and are human like anyone of us- that makes sense to me. Whether I am right or wrong.... who cares and why does it matter?

Personally, I think the only person grieving in that period was JK not JM and I don't think he grieved for long before he switched off his humanity and went stone cold tit for tat terminator on JM and BTS's ass. Lol. He had JM looking all kinds of subdued in that era. Lmho.

People grieve in various ways. In my opinion. For Jimin, I feel he puts on a strong facade most times when he has to film during such times and lately I feel he masks his emotions with anger.

Jk masks his pain with anger too sometimes but I feel in recent times, he is leaning more towards indifference. I think he tries not to be as affected by certain things as compared to the early half of 2020...

But I understand what you mean when you talk about grieve. I think for me rather than look for physical evidence of grief like a sad face, a tear drop dripping down a face, I love for vulnerability in them.

JK's is easy to tell because he tends to open himself up to others such as Tae or Jin or Hobi- and I don't mean like his interactions with them. I mean he leans on them for moral or emotional support.

In the Holiday remix video where he was hiding behind Jin, I felt he was feeling very vulnerable and exposed after that intense moment with Jimin.

It's what he does when he is feeling vulnerable. He turns to others especially Jimin and if Jimin is the cause of his vulnerability he turns away from him like he did within On era or even in Run 116.

When he is in a good place with Jimin, often he is closed off to the others. Jimin does the opposite. He shuts himself up entirely from the group. I don't think he likes to go through his pain by himself.

I've always found that bit fascinating about them. Jk opens himself to people when he is at his lowest while JM closes himself off when he is at his worst.

It played out in their rainy day fight as well. In JK's vulnerability, that's when he let Jimin in, lowering his walls while JM on the other hand closed himself off to him.

Can you give me more than they were together in that period because they played with eachother's lapels?

You don't think I'm thinking rationally when I insist on my theory? Uhmmm... okay? What is rational in this case?

Listen, I recieve a lot of hate for my 'irrational thoughts and opinions' out in these streets. I've lost potentially great friendship on this platform because of it. As I type this, there is someone in someone else's DMs persuading them not to read and engage with my posts because I'm extremely evil I think Jikook break up from time to time in their relationship.

If I genuinely believed in the slightest least or had the least doubt that Jikook were together in that period I would change my mind on the topic- damn my pride and ego. It simply isn't worth the hustle.

If it helps your sanity, please stop reading my blogs. My blogs are not for everyone. It makes some people happy, it makes some people mad and some people experience both.

My gratification is in sharing my thoughts and chronicling Jikook's journey for my own appeasement and support of Jikook. I owe it to them as a believer and a supporter to humanize them as much as possible.

I do not seek to convert others, change minds, or convince anyone of my opinions or to disabuse anyone of theirs.

Let's just agree to disagree on the matter please. Or if you can drop the ad hominems, I would be more than happy to go back and forth with you on this very topic. It's actually shaping out to be one of my favorite Jikook eras. I love me some terminator JK. Lol.

Signed,

GOLDY

[ichika27]

TWEWY 06

Starting to get used to the smartphones. Anime-only fans who would decide to play the game after watching the series also would have to get used to seeing the characters use flip phones. Haha. 

Anyways, it’s TWEWY day again! Episode 3 of Week 2 and surprisingly, they’re gonna give it another episode unlike Week 1 which only got 3 episodes! That makes me happy somehow.

They shuffled some scenes here that were from the game but at least they’re here, I guess?

Alright, spoiler warning as always since I’m gonna talk about the game, too!

Neku and Joshua had a fight with Neku confronting Joshua about the stuff going on. Joshua somewhat explains his reasons for running around Shibuya and about the Composer. On the way back from the CAT mural, Neku and Joshua sees Minamimoto making the Taboo Noise Refinery sigil.

Unlike in the game where, if I remember correctly, they find the sigil before they got to the mural, here they find it after. Taboo Minamimoto soon!

They’re heading towards WildKat again cause Joshua has some more things he needs for his phone plus Neku kinda broke the screen in their fight earlier lol.

There’s a wall in the way though and then noise appears. They figured beating them will make the wall disappear. I guess that works if you don’t know the game rules but oh my god where are the wall reapers in the anime?!

If they can’t adapt wall tasks, they can just do this, right? Have a wall reaper on standby and the tasks is just defeating noise. It’s simple!

Beat! It’s been a while. Where’s Rhyme? Seriously... where the heck is Rhyme? Are they gonna show her after Week 2 or something?

Kariya and Uzuki appears and they scold him for attacking players since that’s against the rules but Beat tells them that it was direct orders from Kitaniji himself. Beat angrily refers to them as senpai and they kinda argue lol. The interaction is kinda amusing.

Uzuki gets a phone call and the reaper duo is given the tasks of dealing with the taboo noise. Kariya decides to take a screaming Beat with them as extra help.

Rhyme’s pendant accidentally falls off and Neku picks it up. It made him realize that maybe Beat has his reasons. Rhyme may not have showed up but at least they gave a hint...

When they got to WildKat, Joshua asks for help with his phone and Neku decides to wait outside. Sota and Nao appears and gives him a talk where they encourage him and tells him that they know Shiki probably doesn’t hate him as it wasn’t his fault that she became his entry fee. Besides, if they are important to each other, then they wouldn’t mind sacrificing themselves if it means helping the other out.

I’m happy they didn’t take out this convo although if I remember correctly, in the game, Joshua is in on this convo, too. I wonder why they made it so that Joshua wasn’t here when this conversation took place? This talk also got Joshua to think about things, too after all...

Neku and Joshua later have their own little talk. They both are able to agree with their perspective on connecting with other people but due to Neku’s experience during Week 1, he says that he’s learned that his thoughts maybe wrong. Joshua comments on how Neku has changed.

I wonder if they’d give them more of these talks? It’s the few times the two at least got along or at least got to see each other’s point of views. Unlike the friendly Shiki, Joshua is an ass who is deliberately being a little shit. If they want to show that he and Neku at least got along enough for the actual ending to make sense then there should be at least more moments to show they have potential to be friends, right?

At least though, there were a couple of moments in battle where Joshua jumps in to shield Neku from attacks. That’s nice, right?

This is the moment where Joshua tells Neku about CAT. Neku’s idol, the guy who made all the graffiti and art Neku likes, is none other than Hanekoma. Look at the shock on Neku’s face as the truth slowly dawned on him.

He’s fanboying!! Isn’t he adorable! He got so excited upon realizing he actually got to talk to CAT and got to visit CAT’s cafe and he ends up panicking that maybe he said something rude. And then he realized that he just fanboyed over CAT in front of the guy himself lol. It’s so adorable! I’m so glad they kept this!

The duo later gets trapped between taboo noises that can't be defeated with their powers. You guys know what that means, right?

JESUS BEAMS!!!

Joshua finally shows his most powerful abilities. It looked really cool, too with the wings descending along with the beams. lol

For anime-only watchers who are reading this despite the warnings, the fandom calls this attack “Jesus Beams”. You probably figured out why already given the stuff I’ve been dropping on the posts lol.

Kariya shows up to reveal that he saw everything and tells them he knows Joshua is playing the game while alive. He says he won’t do anything to them yet since taboo noise is a pain and Joshua was able to deal with them easily which helped. He even gave them both lollipops lol (so nice of him). He tells them he would do something about it next time though and leaves.

The reapers are getting attacked by the taboo noise which had killed many of their numbers alongside many players. Kariya and Uzuki report this to Konishi and Minamimoto is excited at finishing what he started. Are you zetta excited at the ending of week 2 yet?

--

I’m happy they let Neku have important talks with people this episode. Neku’s change in the game slowly happened as he started listening and learning from other people around him and letting his world expand beyond his own after all. Joshua should also have his own little character development with the help of talking to other people but they took him out of that scene so I don’t know what they’re planning.

As usual though, you’d notice Joshua doesn’t really reveal much info about himself or his plans. He gives vague bits and pieces and lets others fill in the blanks. Whatever theory other people has, he just rolls with it. Neku asking him if he’s looking for the composer to fight him and Joshua just goes “Something like that.” and Kariya thinking Joshua is alive and Josh just goes “Yeah, there was a backdoor.”. He didn’t really have to make an elaborate cover story when other people could think of it themselves lol.

They’re giving this another episode! I wonder how they’d deal with the ending to Week 2? The title of the next episode is “Joshua”... hmm I wonder what this means? They are slowly hinting that something is happening in town aside from the taboo noise.

Oh and Joshua also talked about how each town is separated from each other and that they’re not allowed to cross that. He specifically mentions Shinjuku’s Underground being next to Shinuya’s. They’re gonna adapt the New Day scenarios as well so I guess they gotta clarify that there’s different Reaper’s Game everywhere.

I’m excited for the next episode! It may be rushed but some of the moments they decide to animate really make me happy though. Neku fanboying is one of them.

Still, poor Joshua not having both Tin Pin and ramen in the series haha.

Til next week then, hectopascals!

[phenomenalcosmicpowers]

In a recent post on I Dream of Twilight Sparkle I said that I noticed asks that were not in my inbox the last time I decided to read through my entire ask box. So I did the same for my mod blog. And while there were some also that I didn't see before. Most are questions I feel either I feel like I may have already sufficiently answered enough with my thoughts on an episode and/or it'd be weird at this point to answer something that's obviously years after the fact.

But there is two I found that I feel like I may want to respond to. The person who sent it was someone who used to discuss the show with me almost all the time, though obviously they must no longer be on Tumblr as all their blogs are deactivated. But I still want to answer since it is sort of relevant to recent stuff. Particularly in their 2nd ask.

By the way, I'm always open to questions on the show or even non-pony topics here on my modblog. I still do love talking about G4 ponies and I wouldn't mind some questions if any of you would like to know my opinion on anything. Now that the show has been over for nearly 2 years , I can have a perspective on many topics about Friendship is Magic that I wouldn't mind sharing. Maybe some things have changed here and there, though I think I still generally have a positive attitude towards most things for certain. I stuck with the show until the very end, and was satisfied with how it ended. And I still have interest in doing more in G4's world even as G5 approaches. (Though I'm sure perhaps once that movie has aired that may be the focus of any questions sent here)

((My answer and more after the break))

For the most part, I think I still generally agree with what I said in my initial thoughts about the Season 6 finale. It's a solid episode with some great interactions between Starlight, Trixie, Discord, and Thorax. Though the way the ending is executed is a bit of a headscratcher. Maybe somewhat less so since thinking about it now, like even if Chrysalis did keep some things loyal. What would stop them from eventually seeing what Thorax's changelings did shortly after.

But I suppose I wanted to answer this mostly about Starlight. Since while the Season 6 finale made HomerJ get over some remaining feelings about Starlight. I'll admit it took literally until writing Secrets of the Dragon's Tear (A year after the show was over) to realize the sort of potential that Starlight had. The baggage from the Season 5 finale always felt like a cloud above her for the entire rest of the show's run. And I consider Season 6's largest mistake is not trying harder to endear us to Starlight. That's what that season's entire job was, to try to make us feel a little better of how rather rushed Starlight's redemption was by giving us a more expanded look into Starlight's character. And unfortunately, I feel like it failed at that in my opinion. Thus I basically disagree (Though respect the opinion of) with those who would say the Season 6 finale was when Starlight finally won them over.

Don't get me wrong, I like how Starlight is portrayed in the episode. But it would of been stronger if say the season had explained more about Starlight's past. How did Starlight get her cutie mark, and given her opinion on Cutie Marks how did she feel at the time?

Instead, we mostly just got Starlight reuniting with Sunburst that didn't exactly give any more details to her rather vague reasons for turning to darkness from him moving away other then finding out Sunburst's personality and how his side of the story went. And from there we had Starlight befriend Trixie... in an episode I still don't really like to this day.

Ironically, the character in the Hearth's Warming episode that casts Starlight as the story's version of Scrooge (Snowfall Frost) is given more reason to sympathize with then Starlight herself.

Starlight then just about disappears up until the episode that introduces Thorax. Where she doesn't do much other then be among the crowd that Spike has to convince that Thorax is not evil.

The next time we see her is Every Little Thing She Does. Which is something of a controversial ep from what I hear, though ironically despite my skepticism of Starlight at the time. I actually sort of liked that episode since it was basically Starlight's own Lesson Zero. Though I get why Starlight deciding to hypnotize all the Mane 6 besides Twilight against their will would not be approved of. Though it does feel like at the very least Twilight and the rest give her enough of a piece of their mind at the end.

And that's how things stood before the Season 6 finale happened. Even though I do think Starlight has good moments in said finale, nothing earlier in the season really dispelled many of my feelings about the Season 5 finale's ending. So despite a good showing, I could hardly care for it. I wasn't convinced yet we were given a satisfactory answer about the many questions that Starlight's sudden redemption prompted.

Another part of my thoughts I feel still applies is when I mentioned that Starlight's a "Diet Sunset Shimmer" (Which considering what I did to link the two for SOTDT, is a bit funny in hindsight). It took just one movie (Rainbow Rocks) for the fanbase to turn a 180 on Sunset. While an entire season with Starlight as one of the good guys goes by and she remained just as divisive as before if not more so by the end of Season 6.

Come Season 7, and Starlight appears quite a bit more often though under the assumption that the Season 6 finale was enough to warm you up to her. There were many complaints during the first half of Season 7 that she was appearing more then she should (Even in an Equestria Girls special where she got to meet the character she was so often compared to). Though another thing about Starlight in Season 7 in hindsight is besides from her meeting a few more friends like Maud. Starlight isn't actually given much to actually work towards. They dropped the whole student aspect so it's not like she was doing friendship lessons under Twilight anymore (Though I suppose on the bright side for the detractors, it lessened worries about her becoming an Alicorn). Season 8 and 9 does somewhat fix that by having Starlight employed at the school, first as a counselor and ultimately ending with her as the school's Principal as Twilight herself got promoted to sole ruler. Which I'm still unsure about if fans of her character feel that was a proper ending for her. Though probably the best that could of been done in context of not much having been done with her over time.

Still, at least for me personally it felt there was alot missing about Starlight and as time went on it became obvious I wasn't going to get the satisfactory answers about her that I wanted. So as a result, I only had lukewarm reactions when a new Starlight episode was coming up. It also didn't help that there were two episodes that raised my hopes of at least one interesting aspect that would of been cool to see. The first being the episode "All Bottled Up" which I had hoped would mean it would be an episode that's somewhat genie related. And then there was Road to Friendship where Starlight and Trixie try to travel to Saddle Arabia (which is an important location in I Dream of Twilight Sparkle)... and yet never actually get there. So even on the few times that I was hoping to be excited about a Starlight episode, it dropped the ball. Partly my fault for getting so hyped about something that wasn't promised, but I would of loved to at least SEEN canon Saddle Arabia.

I'd never say that I hated Starlight back during the show's run. But she was a frustrating character for certain back then. I couldn't hate Starlight as much as some others did, but at the same time I couldn't like her as much as others. She was in likability limbo. For every fun and or good moment that included her, it's brought right back by either lingering problems that arised from the Season 5 finale or otherwise dropping the ball in some way.

In some ways, she's still a frustrating character. Though that's just how it'll always be with the canon Starlight. It's up entirely now to fanon to give their approach on Starlight that was never done in Canon. With SOTDT, I obviously did a bit of a "Fine, I'll do it myself" when it comes to making Starlight a more satisfactory character for me. Though I'm sure there are many interpretations that are vastly different from how I approached it that can satisfy others and probably be more popular and better written then mine. (My interpretation might be understandably controversial just for Starlight being put back on a path where she'll likely become an Alicorn eventually. Something Starlight detractors feared the most. Though I think I at least try to explain as best I could that makes sense with the story, her cutie mark moment being similar to Twilight's, and the identity of her mother. And I myself sort of feared Starlight becoming an Alicorn might happen, so for me to actually write it so that it might be inevitable. That's just how much of a 180 I've taken on Starlight because of writing SOTDT)

I think I mentioned this before, but I can pretty much say that in a way that I can actually say I like Starlight now. But sort of in a "FiM's biggest missed opportunity" sort of way that it becomes sort of sad to look at how canon Starlight was done. Rather then me simply shrugging her off back when I didn't care so much about her. I also understand it's a bit cheating to say I like Starlight now after doing my own sort of fanfic that had her in a major role since that might be me tooting my own horn a bit.

Though I will say as much as necessary that I am very aware alot of what happens in SOTDT would have been impossible to do in canon and I don't plan on pushing what I did to expand on Starlight's backstory as gospel. It only applies to what I'm doing on the blog, I will not be making a case that my interpretation is the only correct one. I'd actually welcome seeing some different interpretations on things such as who Starlight's mother is, what they feel her past was like outside of the Sunburst leaving incident, and/or especially how Starlight originally got her cutie mark. (I've even said my personal guess is different then how I did it in SOTDT, as my guess is she got it the first time she discovered the cutie mark removal spell). Cause if nothing else, I've realized Starlight is a very interesting character that I think would be fun to explore all the possibilities with. It certainly could be something for those still on the G4 train to talk with one another about.

[foxtophat]

hello hello hello

i got thrown off my groove for a month there doing irl shit but i finally sat down and posted this piece of mercy fic that i’ve been sitting on for like a month. it’s all about john and kim hanging out and bonding so that’s fun!!!

i have a couple of ideas for stories but i’m not QUITE SURE how many of them are going to actually get posted. i might do like a yearly synopsis and put it in the series, writing out what happens between stories and stuff so when i reference shit it isn’t out of the blue, BUT ALSO i am lazy and it’s a miracle mercyverse has gotten this much from me, so lets not try to rock the boat huh???

anyway this is a story about john and kim falling into a cave. it’s like a bottle episode except the bottle is like a large intestine.  i hope you like it!!! if you do, consider reblogging this post, or sharing the link, or kudosing or commenting or liking or subscribing or SMASHING THAT BELL

as usual, the story is under the cut for those of you who want to stay on tumblr for some godforsaken reason

Kim had thought that she was doing Nick and John a favor when she first offered to go cache-hunting with them. After all, Grace and Carmina had their hands full working on the yard's shooting range, and there hadn't been anything better to do than dig a couple of holes out in the woods. She'd figured, why not? An extra set of hands could speed things up, and she could keep them focused on digging instead of bickering.

Of course, now that she's out here with them, she regrets ever having offered. As it turns out, their method of cache-hunting involves incessantly goading one another into a fight, trading places between aggressive pessimism and irritatingly fake optimism whenever it might serve to piss the other off more. She's given up on trying to stop it; after all, it's not too much worse than what they say while mending fences and hauling scrap. It's just that the distance between them means that they're arguing at a headache-inducing level.

At the very least, Kim had hoped for some kind of method they could fall back on, but at three hours in, they've all but given up. She supposes the first two caches had been pretty easy to find, being in areas where the terrain hasn't changed much — but this neck of the woods has definitely seen some shifting. Between the rock slides and massive knots of collapsed trees, the steep hillside looks more like a beaver dam than the picturesque hiking trail it probably used to be.

"I'm starting to think that Jacob was full of shit," Nick says, as if he hasn't been reiterating the sentiment for the last thirty minutes. "There's no way we're gonna find anything out here."

Nick might be right, but Kim isn't about to gang up on John right now. She's been mostly staying out of it as the two of them argue about Jacob's map coordinates; why get involved now?

She ignores them and instead picks her way up the hillside towards one of the many uprooted trees nearby. Just like the last dozen trees she's checked, this one doesn't hold a barrel in its roots, nor do any of them have any damn sign indicating where they should be looking. Whatever marker Jacob might've left, paranoid bastard that he was, it's definitely been destroyed by the apocalypse.

"I told you that this wasn't going to be easy," John says. "There's half a mile of trail to search, and there's only three of us. This isn't some pasture outside town —"

"When I asked you if we should bring Grace and Carmina along, you said they would just get in the way! Now here you are, telling me we need more people!"

"If they were here, who do you think Grace would blame if Carmina got a goddamn splinter or scraped her knee? How do you still not get that she is actively looking for a reason to shoot me?"

"At this point, I'm looking for a reason, so I don't know what you're expecting!"

Kim has to admit, they're both making pretty good points. She just wishes they wouldn't make it sound like the start of a fistfight.

John's sigh is especially theatrical, and Kim hears the leaves crunch underfoot as he begins to stalk up the hill after her. He's probably going to try passing her, just to get space from Nick, but he really shouldn't bother. They should at least stop for something to eat and some water, and then they can figure out whether or not expanding the search zone is a good idea. They should probably reconsider their current "poke around and hope" method, too.

Setting her sights on a stout, dead tree with its roots partially torn up, Kim decides to make that the last straw. If she's got any luck at all, the cache will be tangled up in the tree's roots, and she'll be able to gloat about finding it for the rest of forever.

"Don't get too excited," John says, catching up to her as he runs away from Nick.

"Too late for that," Kim teases. "My hopes are at an all-time high. I'm about to be crushed by the disappointment."

"Fantastic," John grunts, rolling his eyes.

He lets her take the first approach on the tree, which juts awkwardly out of the ground at an acute angle. Its scraggly branches are covered in dry needles, and the partially exposed root system seems to have rotted from rain. There are no other trees for a good couple of yards in any direction, so this tree must've gotten the brunt of the worst nuclear weather.

"We should take a break," Nick shouts from halfway down the hill. "I need a goddamn drink!"

"I told him this would be a waste of time," John grumbles. "We could have taken any other location, even the one at the goddamn compound, and had better luck than out here."

"Well, we're here now," Kim replies. "Come on, maybe the cache is tangled up in the roots or something."

John reluctantly follows Kim as she tests the spongier, damp soil around the rotting tree's base. It's clear he's already given up, but that only makes Kim more determined to find something worth the trip out here — at the very least, so that she can rub it in John's pessimistic face. He can't be a sour bastard forever.

No barrel in the root system, of course. All Kim finds is molding wood and the flash of exposed rock. It's just muddy enough that Kim's going to have to scrub her boots when they get back. From here, she can see the slope of the hillside, and the trees that slump with their tops pointed in her direction. It's like they're telling her, go back!

"Please talk Nick into giving this up," John insists, lingering right behind her and scowling at the roots that have betrayed both of them.

"I mean, we've only been out here for two hours. There's plenty of time to find something." Kim crouches down to check the rocky substrate for anything interesting. "Look on the bright side, at least we don't have to dig."

"I think you two are blinded by that bright side of yours." John sighs, leaning against the tree and glaring down in Nick's direction. "You know that the interstate is only a half-day hike from here, right? This is the exact sort of place Jacob would've stashed passports, money — bug-out kits to abandon the county, that kind of thing. It's not like he buried more coffee and rice out here."

"So is that your new theory? Jacob was planning escape routes for you guys?"

John frowns. "It's one of them."

Kim stands and comes around to join him by the trunk. She debates on invoking Jacob's memory any more than she already has; he seems to have a habit of upsetting John even from the grave. She gives the tree trunk a little kick as she considers pressing him, knocking some mud from her boot tread.

Her curiosity takes a backseat as the world lurches uncomfortably beneath them. She catches herself against the trunk and looks towards Nick, who's picking his way up towards them. Only now does she notice that the trees in this direction also lean inwards, towards the lone tree they're currently beside.

John catches on at the same time, hissing under his breath before hollering a warning. "It's a goddamn sinkhole, Nick, watch out!"

The inconvenience turns into real fear as Kim considers the terrain. With all the caves littering the mountains around here, there's no telling how deep the void beneath their feet might be — five feet, twenty? Or, God help them, more?

Kim struggles not to panic as Nick makes no effort to hide his own. "Come on, you guys," Nick calls from between two jutting evergreens, "Just cut across before the whole damn thing gives out!"

There's not a second to spare, but even as Kim starts to move she knows it's too late. She gets one last look at Nick's horrified expression before she, John, and the dead tree crash down into the empty space below.

Kim lands hard on her side, her arm taking the brunt of the blow and blossoming in radiant, white-hot pain. The world around her, suddenly dark and unfamiliar, tunnels alarmingly out of her vision, her blood rushing into her ears until she can only vaguely hear her own pained crying. Trying to move only causes daggers of pain to shoot right up her arm and into her brain, but she only finds that out as she rolls off of her definitely broken arm. At least, Kim's pretty sure it's broken. She's terrified of looking over and seeing her bone poking out, or something even worse — she knows that she won't be able to stand it, that she'll pass out, and she can't do that down here in this goddamn cavern!

Vague, warped voices vibrate through her as John appears abruptly by her side. The left side of his face is covered in a smear of blood from a deep wound scored over his brow. His mouth moves like he's trying to speak to her. God, her fucking arm!

"Take a deep breath," John commands once again, and this time Kim hears him and abides. The pain doesn't subside, but at least the panic that comes with it is softened as she struggles to calm down. As she does, the background noises begin to come into focus; the crumbling rubble settling, the sharp, birdless silence of the air, and most importantly, Nick hysterically shouting her name from above.

John puts a hand on the shoulder not currently delivering mountains of pain. "Another one," he says, and Kim obeys. It's while she's trying to catch her breath that John steps away, cupping his hands to his mouth and shouting up, "Kim's broken her arm!"

"God damn it, what happened — never mind, just —! Stay put! I'll go get help!" Nick's voice cracks as he realizes aloud, "Shit, there's nobody to get help from!"

Kim sucks in a deep breath. There's no way that John is going to be able to handle Nick's mounting panic by himself, and so she steels herself and tries to steady her voice. "It's gonna be okay!" she shouts. "I'm fine!"

"Bullshit you're fine, that looks like a two-story drop from here!"

John swears under his breath. "I don't have time for this."

"He's going to try and jump down if we don't talk him out of it," Kim hisses, closing her eyes as a wave of painful pins and needles washes up her arm. She keeps accidentally moving it, and the feeling of the bone scraping is enough to make her want to vomit.

John clearly decides she's right, changing tactics as Kim desperately tries not to start sobbing again. "It isn't bad, Nick!" he shouts, "But I need rope if I'm going to splint it! Get the cord from the glove box!"

Nick is quiet for a moment. "Y-Yeah," he calls down shakily, "I... I guess you got plenty to work with — hold on!"

Kim lets out a breath she hadn't meant to hold, then bites back the scream that threatens to rip from her throat. "Please tell me you can do this," she moans as John crouches down beside her broken arm. "I can't look — is there bone?"

"There's no bone," John replies. His voice is tight and unhappy, but at least he isn't lacking in confidence when he tells her, "I know what I'm doing. Try to stay conscious, and don't move. The last thing I need is to be stuck alone with Nick."

"Excuse him for worrying," she groans, staring up at the sky through the fifteen-foot-wide hole above her. She counts down the seconds until Nick gets back, if only to focus on something other than the pain.

John leaves her to it, making his way over to the tree that's joined them here in the cavern. There isn't much else down here besides them and the vegetation that came down with them; the sinkhole must have joined with a cavern somewhere along the way. The rock here probably hasn't seen daylight before — when she glances around, she spots a dark crack in the wall that implies there might be more, unlit caves to explore beyond.

Boy, she really does not want to go into that creepy tunnel, and she especially doesn't want to do it with a broken arm. Thankfully, Nick returns before that worry turns to panic.

"Everything okay? Actually, never mind — look, I got the rope, and the first-aid kit!"

Anything Nick decides to throw down is going to stay down here, and so Kim quickly stops him. "You keep that, Nick! If you get hurt up there, you'll need it!"

"We need it more," John points out, returning to her with a few branches that he clearly intends to use as a splint. He's not wrong about the medkit; the cut over his eye is a nasty one, and Kim could use all of those expired painkillers about now. Not to mention, there might be more injuries they've missed.

Still. "I'm not leaving Nick without supplies," she says.

John doesn't reply, but his scowl speaks volumes.

After a minute or so, Nick is ready to throw the cord down. They coordinate the hand-off just fine without her, which is great, because Kim needs to reserve all of her strength for what's to come.

Nick's bundled a few of the medical supplies into his worn-out flannel, along with the crank flashlight and one of the ultra-dry military rations, all tied off with the paracord. Kim is both touched at the thought and horrified at the idea that they might be here long enough to get hungry.

"This is good, Nick," John calls. "We're in a cave — there's got to be another way out nearby!"

"I'll go look for a way in!"

"No," Kim shouts, her voice cracking, "You might get hurt, Nick!"

"Well, what the hell am I supposed to do, Kim! I'm not gonna leave you down there!"

Kim has never in her life imagined that she would say her next words, but that doesn't mean she doesn't mean it. "I'm going to be okay! John's down here with me, I'll be fine!"

John doesn't seem to have expected her to say that, either, boggling at her with open confusion. But... well, come on! If John can trust her enough to gun down Peggies trying to kidnap him, then she can at least trust him to help her limp out of one of Hope County's many caves. Sure, it's not an ideal situation by any means, but Kim's just happy not to be stuck looking for a way out by herself.

"Are you sure you can even walk?" Nick calls uneasily.

"I can handle it, Nick," John replies for her. "We'll look for a way out — if we don't find anything in an hour, we'll come back here and try something else!"

"What the hell do you want me to do!"

John pauses long enough to look at Kim, but since he seems to have more ideas than she does, she defers to his judgment. "Circle west around the hill and look for any entrances to call from! There's going to be a cave opening somewhere nearby!"

"I don't like any of this, Kim!"

John pinches the bridge of his nose, leaving Kim to answer, "It's the only plan we've got!"

The silence from above stretches out. "We don't have time for this," John mutters, abandoning his attempts to reassure Nick. "There's no telling where a way out might be, and I'm not wasting more time because Nick can't trust me."

"It's not about trust," Kim snipes in return. "He's trying not to panic."

John only grunts in return, settling on his knees next to her as he prepares to do the hard part for her. That leaves it up to Kim to encourage Nick to get a move on; she really doesn't want him sticking around for the painful part. "Nick, be careful, I don't want you to fall in another sinkhole! We'll be okay!"

Nick is frustratingly silent for another moment, but eventually, he relents. "Okay, fine! Remember to mark your path! And don't trust any ropes or ladders you see! And stay outta any water you find, you don't know how deep it is!"

"Jesus Christ," John mutters.

"Oh, shut up," Kim tells him, lifting her strained voice to call back. "Alright, Nick! We'll be careful! We'll see you soon!"

Kim makes John wait another minute after Nick leaves before she lets him at her arm. Despite his sour expression, John manages to be nothing more than stern, and surprisingly gentle. "Careful," he tells her, as if she needs a warning as he adjusts her broken arm. She's unable to decide if the burning sensation or the stabbing sensation is worse, but they're both vying for the spot as John examines the fracture. God, she hopes he knows what he's doing. She hopes it heals clean. She doesn't know what she'll do if she loses the thing.

John jostles her a little too abruptly, and a gasp of pain tears her from her downward spiral of worst possible outcomes. If John notices, he doesn't comment.

"It's not so bad," he says, although Kim's still not sure if she trusts his judgment on the matter. "It seems like a single fracture. I'll splint it, and... Well, there's somebody in town with medical experience, isn't there?"

"I don't know," Kim gasps, head reeling, "Maybe?"

John sighs. "Well, at least you'll survive."

"You better hope so," Kim jokes, or tries to anyway.

John rolls his eyes, but thankfully he's not in a vindictive mood as he prepares to set her arm. "You'll want to scream," he tells her. "Try breathing through your nose instead."

He sure isn't wrong. Kim can't think straight for a minute after he's finished, her face wet as the pain forces her to tears, but John is utterly detached and methodical as he binds her arm to one of the branches. It's reassuring at first, but Kim can't help but wonder just how many people suffered broken bones and serious trauma at his hands, only to see the same dispassionate bedside manner afterward? God, assuming they even survived what he put them through.

"Catch your breath," John tells her once he's done, standing and turning back to further investigate the tree. "The cave systems go on for miles down here, but there are dozens of openings in the hills. As long as we stick to the larger tunnels, we should be able to find one of them."

Kim watches him pick through the tree, sizing out larger branches and dismissing them one by one.

"I'm surprised you're not more freaked out," she says as he picks out a four-foot branch. "You know, being underground and everything."

John furiously breaks the branch from the trunk, then roughly cleans it of dead sprigs and foliage. "Thank you for reminding me."

"Sorry, I just meant —"

"I know what you meant," he says. "It's fine. I'm not... Like I said, these tunnels are hardly inescapable." He strikes the branch against the ground and seems satisfied by the sound. "I spent a lot of time studying the cave systems out here. We considered using them for passage between the gates, but that plan never went anywhere. It left me with enough useless knowledge that I'm not prone to panic down here."

"Useless until now," Kim points out. "Now help me up and let's get the hell out of here."

John helps her to her feet with her good arm, careful not to jostle the splint as she tests her balance. The world heaves for an uncomfortable second or two before righting itself, although it's mostly shock and adrenaline keeping her moving. She's not sure how long that's going to last, but she sure hopes it's long enough to reunite with Nick.

"I should probably lead," John says, looking unhappy about her tentatively upright position.

"Yeah, I don't think I'm in the position to trail-blaze."

"You're barely in the position to walk," he replies. Casting one last look around the sunlit cavern, John turns towards the dark crack in the wall that leads further into the system. "Try not to pass out."

"No promises," she says, staggering her way to their only exit.

She can feel the cool, musty air from here, oddly relieving against her sweaty face. She wishes she hadn't watched The Descent so many times before the apocalypse, because that is really coloring her perception of this situation. Of course, they're more likely to run into a wolverine or bear den than they are to be hunted by a pack of cave-dwelling mutants, but that doesn't stop her from considering it.

John starts forward. Kim, anxious and trembling in pain, tries to joke. "Just avoid stepping on any weird symbols carved into the ground, okay?"

"Christ," John groans, the same way he does every time somebody tries to rope him in with a pop-culture reference. He winds the flashlight up and the beam of light cuts a sharp swath across the dark tunnel "Will you two please let that Hollywood bullshit die already?"

"Oh, relax," she replies. "Tropes are older than L.A. and you know it. They aren't going to disappear just because civilization got nuked."

"One can dream," John snipes dryly in return.

Of course, even with the attitude, John keeps close to Kim, sticking to her uninjured side. Kim imagines her slow pace must be irritating the crap out of him, but he impressively manages not to sigh or stomp like a passive-aggressive toddler. He's been getting a lot better about letting his exasperation get to him, although she bets it's got a lot to do with exhaustion and survival instinct right now.

The silence stretches for a time between them. Kim imagines John is lost in his thoughts, but she's been hyper-aware of every distant sound of rubble shifting or oddly-shaped rock formations that are easy to mistake for humanoid shapes in the dark. The tunnel is only about eight feet across and somewhat taller than that, but that's plenty of room for Kim's imagination to play tricks on her.

"I always thought your anti-Hollywood thing was some kind of shtick," she admits. "Maybe you got scorned on a screenplay or something, I dunno. But you really believe that all of the entertainment industry deserved to get firebombed out of existence?"

"It deserved a reckoning," John replies.

"You mean something like nuclear annihilation?"

John's frown deepens. "Maybe," he says stiffly.

Normally, Kim would try to dig into that more, but she's not in a position to make much sense of it right now. Honestly, the conversation is irrelevant — she just needs something to keep her from fantasizing about monsters in the dark. Or, you know, passing out. Whichever would be worse.

"So I guess you don't have a desert island five, then."

John huffs loudly at that. "I wouldn't be able to remember it."

That just tells Kim that he does have one. She bets American Psycho or Fight Club was on it. Maybe Fear and Loathing?

"Okay, well... say you had to pick a movie to watch as soon as we got home. What would it be?"

Even without looking, Kim knows he's rolling his eyes. "Seriously? Is this really the time?"

"Humor me."

He groans in annoyance, but Kim doesn't miss the short stretch of silence that follows as he thinks it over.

"I don't know," he finally grumbles.

"Come on, you've got to have something."

"I only ever saw a handful of movies growing up, and I lost interest in the medium in college."

"God, you must have been a pretentious bastard."

Despite himself, John chuckles at the jab. "Oh, you have no idea," he replies.

The conversation dies, just like John had probably hoped it would. Kim tries to find something else to distract her, but there's really not much to look at. They've only found one offshoot that John had been able to fit in, but it had ended only a few yards in. They've been exploring for maybe fifteen minutes, though; there's still time for a miracle. Until then, she's got moss to look at, and the distant trickle of water from somewhere far away. With the way the land's shifted, there may be a new river forming somewhere up on the surface. In a few decades, it could swallow these caverns entirely.

"How does your arm feel?" John asks, his voice bouncing off the walls and breaking the silence.

"Not... great," she admits, still trying not to focus on the numb agony of her arm. "I wouldn't mind lying down and sleeping for a few weeks right about now, but I think I can keep it together until we find a way out."

She hopes, anyway.

"Good." John takes a moment to crank the flashlight before it can go out, then picks up the conversation as though Kim weren't even there. "There's nobody in town that I know of that has serious medical experience. With the gates destroyed, there's no telling where the experts we'd vetted for the Project wound up. Dead, probably. Or worse, still involved with Joseph. Hell, even a vet would be better than nothing."

He's definitely more anxious than he wants to let on. Kim doesn't believe for a second that being in this endless, dark tunnel is any better than being trapped in a bunker, save for maybe the space. At least in a bunker, you know which way is out, and you know what's going to kill you.

Now Kim is the one who starts to ramble. "I mean, there's got to be an eagle scout out there somewhere. And there were a couple of doctors still working when I had Carmina �� one of them might've survived, right? Somebody out there will know enough to check your handiwork. For the record, though, I think you did a pretty good job for a guy stuck in a pit."

John shakes his head. "I've set plenty of broken limbs." There's a weird sort of challenge in his voice as he says, "Of course, I was the one who broke most of them."

"And I think you feel pretty shitty about it, so I don't know why you sound so smug."

"I'm just reminding you of who you're trying to compliment."

Kim rolls her eyes, her exasperation carrying over in her voice. "I know exactly who you are, John. Quit trying to rile me up like you do with Nick, it isn't going to work."

He huffs. "Sure," he says, then promptly shuts up. Of course he does. No wonder he only ever wants to talk to Nick — it's like he doesn't know how to hold a conversation without trying to start a fight.

Well, Kim needs something to distract her, so she'll carry on with it herself. "I've sprained my ankle a couple of times, but the only time I've ever broken a bone was in soccer camp when I was... thirteen, I think? It was my big toe, and the humiliation was way worse than the pain."

"I can't imagine," John drawls, distinctly unenthusiastic.

Kim opens her mouth to ask the obvious question, then catches herself. Asking about John's past is essentially opening Pandora's box; every time Kim has gone digging, she comes away with something new she wishes she could forget about. The breadcrumbs of information he's given her over the past year or so have honestly kept her up some nights. She probably doesn't want to know anything about the number of broken bones John's had. She definitely doesn't want to know how.

John looks over at her, daring her to ask. It's only when Kim manages to contain her curiosity that he parts with a few terse details. "The first time was when I was eleven. It was a powerful learning experience. One I... try not to revisit."

"Sure," she says. It sounds reasonable enough, anyway.

The flashlight's beam cuts across the wall further ahead, revealing the first major fork that they've come across. They're forced to take an impromptu break as John tries to determine their best way forward. John scowls at the darkness in either direction, but it doesn't seem to help make a decision. Meanwhile, Kim takes the opportunity to rest against the cold stone, swallowing down the nausea that's starting to build. It's a miracle that she's made it this far without fainting, but she doesn't think John's in the mood to hear that.

Frowning, John turns the flashlight back the way they came, sweeping the light down the forking path. "Strange," he mutters.

"What?"

"It's nothing," he says, sweeping the light down the way they came. "Except... see this?"

He steps closer to highlight a uniformly rectangular notch in the wall, just about hip-level. Moving the light reveals more, equally spaced notches, continuing along the wall of the newest fork in their road.

"There were guide ropes installed at one point or another. It doesn't seem to be an active mine, though — it must've been for dumb tourists, just in case of lawsuits."

"I hate to tell you, John, but right now, we're the dumb tourists."

"Unfortunately so. I guess that means we should take the left."

It's smaller, and it looks just as untouched as the rest of the cave has so far, but John's made a compelling point about the seemingly man-made notches.

"You're the expert," Kim says, "I'll take your word for it."

"Alright," he says, not as enthusiastic as Kim would have hoped for. He eyes her somewhat critically, then asks, "How are you doing?"

It's probably the pain making her delirious, but she's surprised at John's concern for her wellbeing. She really shouldn't be. Of course he cares; even if he weren't actively trying to be less awful, he's too smart to leave Kim down here and risk Nick finding out. But still. She's pain-addled enough to be touched by the sentiment.

That doesn't mean she's in the mood to sugarcoat the truth. "I'm surprised I'm still standing," she says. "Let's just hope we find Nick before I pass out."

"I'm sure he'd enjoy seeing me carrying your limp body out of the abandoned mine."

Kim laughs, regretting it as it sends an ache jolting through her body. "Oh, I bet. Just don't be surprised if I tap out at some point."

"You're stronger than that," John remarks. "Follow me."

Now, following John Seed through a dark cave tunnel with a broken arm seems like it would be a bad time. If this were ten, eleven years ago, Kim's sure she would be hunting for a weapon or looking for her own escape route. That is, of course, assuming he hadn't left her to die down here. No doubt that her survival would've banked on how much he would have needed her.

She's glad that's not the case now. John is a reliable navigator, slow-going and cautious as he leads the way, testing suspect rock formations and ducking into narrow crags that don't go anywhere. Honestly, he's probably being more cautious than they need to be. It's already been a half-hour or so, and they're going to need to turn back before much longer.

John has other concerns to bother him, though. "I wonder what happened to the anchors," he says at one point. "You'd think we would have found one by now."

"Maybe they took the rope down before the Collapse," Kim points out. "Lots of tourist traps weren't exactly up to code. Earl probably got here way before we did, back when he was trying to crack down on these kinds of things."

John frowns thoughtfully. "Maybe."

"It's not like people are down here renovating for the next season."

"We don't know that," he points out grimly. "Survivors might've hidden from the radiation down here. Or maybe some angels got lost after Faith was killed."

"Come on, John," she groans.

"Nick's always wondering where the mutants are. Maybe we'll be the ones to find them."

Kim side-eyes John just in time to catch the remnants of a smirk on his face, and she can't help but elbow him with her good arm. She tries to admonish him, telling him, "Knock it off," but she can't help laughing as she does.

"You're probably right about the code violations," John chuckles at last, lifting the light to check the ceiling ahead as it dips low enough for them to need to duck. "Not a lot of these cave systems were what I'd call safe. It's one of the reasons we decided against using them as tunnels. The work involved was too expensive, and the chance of cave-ins was too high. And, as we've found out, they weren't guaranteed to stay underground."

"So, what was going to happen instead? Were you guys going to rely on radios, or what?"

"It doesn't matter what we decided," John points out, more weary of the conversation than irritated. "The gates were barely finished before the Deputy destroyed them, and we never got to find out what might've happened."

They follow the notches through two more forks, and Kim starts to worry that they're only going deeper into the old attraction. Well, at least they're taking the easy way. With a smooth floor and a ceiling that rarely drops lower than eight feet, Kim gets the impression that they're in a manufactured mine, and not an organic one. For all they know, some crazy prepper dug this tunnel out to make a quick buck for his bunker-building hobby. Of course, if that's the case, it's a miracle that nothing's caved in yet.

They pass underneath a lower segment of the ceiling, and the tunnel abruptly opens up into a massive cavern. Defunct light rigs are scattered amongst the stalagmites, with several hanging stalactites covered in chipped fluorescent paint. The rest of the rock outcroppings are covered in lichen, which disappointingly fails to glow in the dark. As John sweeps the flashlight across the large, empty space, Kim gets a good idea of the cheap edu-tainment that was offered on short hikes through the mines. Somewhere in here, there's probably a storage closet full of Halloween decor waiting to liven up the otherwise boring cavern.

"Well, this wasn't worth the twenty dollars it cost to get in," John grouses.

"Don't forget the thirty-dollar iron-on tee-shirts they print off at home," Kim reminds him with a laugh. It's enough to make her lightheaded, and she doesn't quite regain her balance, even after she braces herself against the wall.

"We can only rest a minute," he warns her, sweeping the light in the direction they need to go. Any more huffing and puffing on his part is diminished as the light glints off the rounded edge of something metallic. When John refocuses the light on the object, neither of them really know what to say.

Lying amongst the rocks, battered and dirty, is one of the dark green bliss containers they've been looking for. Kim looks up, but the ceiling is rooted in darkness, and she can't see any sign of another cave-in or sinkhole. The idea that Jacob might've come this far himself crosses her mind, but if that were the case, why is it sitting out in the open like that?

"John, wait," Kim calls as John steps off the path. Suddenly, all her jokes about booby traps seem tasteless, especially with John charging into the unknown like he is.

Of course, this isn't Indiana Jones, and there's no pit of spikes or tripwire to trigger. John doesn't wind up with a face-full of poison darts as he picks up the dented canister; the only thing he's forced to sacrifice is a good grip on the flashlight, which shines at an awkward angle and only illuminates a useless part of the floor. His slow pace and the bad lighting leave Kim to imagine what he's found inside — remnants of supplies, or a dead animal? Indications that something chewed through the rubber sealant, maybe?

John drops the barrel between them, the clanging metal causing Kim to jump. John doesn't notice as he reorients the light, leaning over to illuminate the barrel's contents. The interior is flaked with rust, and whatever sealant had been used is all but completely worn away. The only thing left inside is an empty, smashed bottle of liquor and a few wrapped, moldy packages of cigarettes.

"I don't know if I'm disappointed or not," Kim says.

"I know I am," John replies, grimly reaching into the empty barrel to check for a false bottom. The screech of metal rises up into the cavern, bouncing off the far ceiling and turning into an ugly birdsong. Kim leans back against the wall; if she keeps looking down, she's going to end up toppling over like a broken Weeble-Wobble. John glances her way after a moment, before lifting a clump of wet paper out from the depths of the barrel.

"Of course he buried documents here," John mutters. Kim can't quite pin down whether he's upset or resigned to the bad luck at this point.

"Anything salvageable?" she asks.

"Doubtful. I'll... bring these along, I guess." He checks again, digging out what he can. Other than the loose papers, there's a water-logged manila envelope and an equally soaked box of ammunition. John tucks the box away in his front pocket, holding the papers uncomfortably in his hand. "We'll worry about what these are once we're out of here."

Despite the pain in her arm giving her full-body tremors and John's dismal mood, Kim is nearly upbeat as they exit the cavern. They're still in civilization, after all, even if it's a defunct tourist trap, and the knowledge that they're clearly on their way out is the main thing keeping her moving. If they're lucky, they aren't too far from the truck — if they're really lucky, Nick will have found the entrance before them.

They eventually find a few anchors that are still moored to the walls, a knotted bit of rope still attached, and Kim breathes a sigh of relief. The sigh quickly turns to a groan of pain as she rattles her arm, but at least it isn't enough to knock her off her feet.

John hesitates in front of her, slowing just enough so that he can offer his arm to her. "We can't stop now," he tells her.

"I know," she pants, wiping sweat from her forehead that she hadn't realized was gathering. "Okay. We're nearly there."

She gives up on pretending entirely, leaning heavily against John as they continue forward. Lying down and resting for, oh, a hundred years or so sounds great right now, but first, she needs to make sure Nick hasn't had a heart attack waiting for them. He's probably convinced himself that they've gotten killed somehow, and John isn't going to be able to talk him down on his own.

They approach what will hopefully be the last fork in the tunnel, only to find that both directions have anchors. The newest offshoot seems to curve pretty severely downwards, though; it's clear even as they stop that they should stick to the path they've been on.

"I don't like this," John says, looking first behind them and then ahead, down the new path.

"Fine," Kim groans, "You can choose the next tourist trap we get stuck in."

"I'm serious, Kim." John turns the flashlight down the new path. The air coming from that direction is thick and stagnate — Kim's imagination unhelpfully supplies a few images of killer clowns and deformed mutants to lurk down in the dark that way. God, why did she have to like horror movies so much? Why couldn't she have enjoyed normal, safe entertainment that wouldn't have filled her imagination with monsters and a deep-rooted fear of the unexplored dark?

It certainly doesn't help as John says, "I keep getting the feeling that we're being watched."

"Okay, that's it," Kim snaps, desperately trying to bury the surge of fear the suggestion fills her with. "I'm done being creeped out."

"I'm not trying to scare you —"

"Well, you're naturally gifted, okay? Look, let's just — we know that's the way out," she says, nodding towards the safer route. "Let's just go that way. The sooner we get out of here, the better."

"Agreed," John grunts.

John adopts a brisk walk that Kim has some trouble keeping up with, but she's not interested in slowing down for anything. She feels vindicated by their choice of exit as they pass a faded safety sign lying on the ground, as well as the decidedly fresher air coming in from what Kim expects to be the exit. There are a few moments where John has to resist breaking out into a jog; Kim can't exactly blame him, but his jitters are amping up her own anxiety, and now she's trying desperately to listen for chasing footsteps behind them. It's hard to hear much of anything over the blood pounding in her ears.

It's a massive relief when John finally slows down. "It must have been an animal," he says at last, casting one last look behind them. "God, I fucking hate being underground."

"Well, let's hope we aren't leading the mutants to the surface world," Kim jokes. It probably would land better if she didn't sound completely wiped.

John frowns at her, but the dark makes it hard to pin down his expression. "We're almost there," he says, which sounds alarming like a reassurance.

Her spirits lift as they pass an overturned rail barricade, but the wind is immediately taken out of her sails as they find the path blocked by a chained and padlocked gate. The thick gauge chain-link fence has been welded to brackets on the wall; the bottom has been bent outwards, likely from some angry animal forcing its way through. Unfortunately, it's too small for either of them to get through.

"For fuck's sake," John hisses between gritted teeth.

They're not going anywhere, and Kim's nausea forces her to find something more solid than John for support. She manages to stagger to the nearest wall before falling against it, but it's enough to make her regret moving at all.

At least she manages a weak thumbs up when John anxiously asks, "Are you alright?"

"Just — giving you room to work," she gurgles, staggering a few feet back down the path before throwing up.

John swears under his breath as Kim tries to coax her headache back to something more manageable. She can hear him tearing at the gate behind her; if she weren't feeling so miserable, she'd probably be flipping out on it, too. As it is, she takes her sweet time to turn around and start back for the fence, watching as John tries to widen the gap left behind by some tenacious wolverine. It's going to wreck her arm to try and weasel through the hole, but Kim is willing to try anything at this point.

"How far are we from the truck?" Kim rasps. "Maybe Nick can hear us?"

"How the hell am I supposed to know?" John snaps, well past the end of his rope. Kim has to admit, she's surprised he made it this far. "God damn it, I don't know where we are any better than you!"

"Okay, point taken," Kim says — after all, she's in no position to argue with him. As it is, it's taking most of her focus to keep from sinking to the ground. As soon as she's sitting, she's going to pass out, and she's not in any position to be doing that yet.

Thankfully, Nick's voice reaches them before she can give up. A tidal wave of relief floods Kim at the sound of him calling her name; she staggers forward, gripping the chain-link with her good arm.

"Nick!" she shouts. The sound of her own voice bouncing off the walls only amplifies her pounding headache, but it doesn't stop her from shouting his name a few more times in desperation.

John grabs her good shoulder. "Careful," he says, "Take it easy."

"You take it easy," Kim snaps as Nick's voice bounces off the far-away cave entrance. Trying to glare at John is a mistake, as vertigo nearly sends her to the floor. The only thing that keeps her upright is John's grip on her arm, easing her back until she finds the wall for support.

"Let me handle it," he says.

Kim has no choice but to follow his orders, reeling against the wall as he picks up the impromptu game of Marco Polo. She's not sure how much time passes between her slow, long blinks, but all that matters is the moment that she sees Nick appear with the lantern held high. It's enough to bring her to tears — well, that and the dizzying pain — and from Nick's tearful shout, it's having the same effect on him.

"Oh, thank Christ," he gasps as he reaches the gate, rattling it with his free hand as if he could just pry it back. "Kim, you're alive! Are you okay?" He turns the full force of his relief on John, concern furrowing his brow. "Jesus, John, are you okay? We needa get that cut looked at."

"It's fine," John says. "You didn't see any keys anywhere, did you?"

"Let me go check the ticket booth," Nick replies. "Don't worry, you guys — I'm not about to let a goddamn padlock stop me."

Nick jogs back down the tunnel and Kim finally sags, sliding to the ground with a tired groan.

"Okay, John," she sighs, "Mission accomplished. Wake me up when we get home."

"Kim, hold on," John replies, but frankly there's no stopping her now. This was as far as she'd hoped to get on her own two feet, and honestly, she's surprised that she made it that far.

She does rouse briefly as Nick begins wailing on the padlock with a steel pipe, but that's something the boys can handle without her. Here and there, she registers hands on her, and dappled light flashes over her face as they finally escape the caves. The fresh air brings her back long enough to help Nick get her settled in the truck, but she's already dozing off by the time John and Nick start arguing again. The rest of the trip, for better or worse, is completely lost on her.

————

When Kim finally comes to, she's immediately met by the familiar sight of her room at home. She can't tell what time it is, only that it's late enough for the lamp to be lit. Judging by the voices downstairs, everyone is still awake — and going by the sling and bandages, they've had some company since she was last conscious. She allows herself to imagine the whole thing was all a horrible nightmare, just for a second, but the throbbing in her arm is already reminding her of the unfortunate truth. At least she can check "escape mutants in a tunnel" off of her bucket list.

She doesn't have long to focus on the slowly returning pain; it's not even a minute later that she hears boots on the stairs, and Nick pokes his head in not long after.

"Hey," is about all she can muster up before she has to clear her throat, but it's enough.

"Christ, Kim!" he exclaims, throwing open the door as he rushes to her side. The worry breaks on his face as he crouches beside her, careful not to jostle her broken arm. "Are you okay? How do you feel?"

"Uh... not awesome," she admits, shifting in an attempt to sit up. Nick hurries to help her, and she can't help but smile at him as he piles the pillows behind her. "Better now, though."

"That's what I'm here for," Nick laughs, "That and making everybody else uncomfortable. They kept tellin' me not to worry, but you know how hard that is."

"They?"

"Well, John mostly, until Jerome and Grace showed up. Then I had to keep it together for Carmina, so that helped. Uh. How much do you remember about gettin' back here?"

"Not much," Kim says. Now that she's more conscious, she's able to discern the late evening light for what it is; it's been hours since she was last aware of where she was. "I... remember getting into the truck, I think? And then... Nothing. Why? What did I miss?"

Nick shakes his head, smiling fondly at her. "Nothing much, honest. Most of the ride back was me and John arguing about what to do. He radioed Jerome for help while I got you up here and settled in, then I called up Grace so she could keep Carmina busy until Jerome showed up with some help. I guess Winona, y'know, down at the Eagle? She was getting her nursing degree, or license, or whatever, so Jerome brought her over here to help out. She said it looked like a clean enough break, and John did a good job setting it, so we just had to make sure you wouldn't be accidentally moving in your sleep." He chuckles. "You know, real exciting stuff."

"Oh, boy," Kim groans, "I bet I scared the crap out of Carmina. Is she okay?"

"Yeah, she's fine. Worried about you, obviously, but Grace gave her a pep talk and we kept her busy downstairs. Figured you oughta be awake before she came to see you."

"Good call." Kim briefly debates whether or not getting out of bed is worth it, but she quickly decides against it. Even if she weren't wiped out, Nick looks like he'd fall apart with worry if she tried to exert herself. "You might have to go get her, because I don't think I could move if I wanted to."

"Don't even think about it," Nick says, pointing at her as he gets back to his feet. "You're on bed rest until tomorrow at least. I'll be right back."

Kim dozes for the few minutes that stretch between Nick leaving and Carmina coming up the stairs. It's impossible to fall back asleep, but the rest is good enough on its own. She makes sure to perk up when she hears Carmina coming up the stairs, smiling wide as her daughter enters the doorway.

"Hey, honey," she says, her voice rougher than she'd expected it to be.

"Mom!" Carmina exclaims, careful to avoid jostling Kim as she climbs into the bed on her good side. "I was so worried!"

Kim folds her arm around Carmina's shoulders and gives her a squeeze. "I know, sweetheart. I didn't mean to spook you."

"What happened? Dad said you and John fell into a cave!"

"That's pretty much it," Kim laughs. "We fell through a sinkhole into an old cave system. It used to be a place people could visit, though, so it wasn't hard to find our way out."

Carmina frowns, picking at a loose thread in the comforter. "But it was probably really dark. And your arm was broken, and John busted his head open, and..."

"First of all, his head wasn't busted open," Kim says, reaching up to ruffle Carmina's hair. "He probably needed a few stitches, sure, but he knew what he was doing, and we both made it out okay. And your dad got the flashlight to us, so we had plenty of light to see by."

Obviously, Kim never wants to go back to that awful place, but she needs her daughter to learn not to panic now, in case she ever has to go into those tunnels herself. There's no summer camp to enroll her in that will teach her how to be mindful of caves, so Kim's going to have to do it herself... She just wishes she'd gotten to it before she'd had her own scary experience.

Carmina huffs, frowning briefly at the door. "You were lucky John was there," she says.

Kim bites back on her knee-jerk reaction to scoff at the idea. "You're right," she admits, a little more reluctant to do so than she really should be.

"Nobody else thinks so," Carmina grumbles. "Grace got mad dad left you two down there and then Jerome got mad at John for getting you hurt and Winona was really mad that she had to give John stitches. I wanted to say something but dad wouldn't let me."

"That's because they have good reasons not to trust him," Kim points out, although that excuse is starting to wear a little thin, even with her. "They just need time."

Carmina groans. "I guess. I'm... just really glad you're okay."

Kim squeezes Carmina's shoulder. "Me too."

Carmina sighs. "So... what was it like?" she asks, unable to resist her curiosity any longer.

That's okay by Kim — she could use the distraction. "Well... it was dark, and chilly. It was really quiet — the only thing we could hear was water dripping on the walls and our footsteps. The tunnel wasn't very interesting... but there was a big cavern in the middle where we found the cache, covered in stalactites and stalagmites. You could see where they used to have lights rigged up, and they'd painted some of the rocks to glow in the dark."

"You didn't see any animals?" Carmina frowns. "I always thought animals would hide in the caves."

Kim absolutely will not be telling her daughter about John's creepy sense of danger, thanks. "You know, we didn't. There isn't a lot of food for rabbits or cougars in there, though. I think they usually prefer little caves, not big ones."

There are plenty more questions for Carmina to ask that Kim only barely knows the answers to. Thankfully, geography and natural history are easy to teach hands-on; while she's not about to go back to the cave they just escaped, there are a couple of old attractions she remembers visiting that might do the trick. Places with good gift shops and little museums and educational plaques everywhere to help Kim explain how basic geology works.

"If you want, we can do some cave exploring of our own one day," Kim offers. "I'll need some time to get better, first. And I'll have to find the right place. But when we have some free time..."

"That sounds fun," Carmina says. "Just don't fall into another one first?"

"I'll do my best. We'll, uh, teach you what to look for so you don't make the same mistake."

They talk for a little while longer about the cave systems that litter Hope County, but it's not exactly Kim's favorite topic right now. It's a relief when Carmina declares that she needs water; even more so when she offers to bring some up to Kim. She considers asking Carmina to relay her thanks to John, but it can honestly wait until morning. Hopefully by then, she'll have adjusted to the makeshift cast, although she suspects she'll have plenty of time to get used to it. How long does it take a broken bone to heal, she wonders? Probably a few months, at least. She's really going to have to take it easy, and hope that nothing catastrophic happens while she's down one working arm.

[fly-pow-bye]

DuckTales 2017 - The Least Best!

Well, here it is, the second to last article of this project, and it's one that's going to be controversial. I'm sorry, I have to do a worst list along with the best list, but I decided against actually calling it the worst list. Simply put: calling it a worst list implies these episodes were bad. Do not get me wrong, there are episodes I feel qualify for that, but not more than 10 of them. Alas, it has to be done.

I must have some rules for this list, and here they are:

It has to be an episode of DuckTales 2017. No shorts, even if the shorts combined can make up a full episode. I am also not putting in anything from This Duckburg Life, either.

I have to say something good about each of these episodes. Does not have to be the best thing about the episode, but a good thing nonetheless.

This is my opinion and my opinion alone. I am sure there are fans of these episodes, I just disagree with them.

Let's begin with #10, and I can already tell I'm going to lose some people over this, but I am not sorry.

10. Beaks In The Shell!

I did get some flack for giving this a 2 initially, and I did walk back on it simply because there are worse episodes I have given 3s or would have given 3s, but I just did not think of this one as highly as everything else in the third season. I do not hate it, as it has some clever moments here and there, like Louie's shock about GizmoDuck's identity.

She has a great design, and I do like how she's the hacker girl as a counterpart to Fenton. She just seems to do a complete 180. In the last episode she was in, she was not above blinding children in order to keep her job, and now she just wants to leave F.O.W.L. just like that? I do not really buy it, and I never really found her that interesting in execution, at least in the show itself.

Good thing: Out of all the flack I've given this episode, the ending with the character's individual Gizmo suits is top notch. I like how everyone has an ability that either fits them or is a reference to a previous episode.

9. New Gods on the Block!

This is another "not really one of the good ones, but not really one of the bad ones" episode to me. My decision to put this one below "Beaks In The Shell" goes more with me thinking the Gizmo suits were a little more creative, and how I think this episode could have done better with this idea. Plenty of scenes with Storkules and Donald being a little too close, much to the chagrin of the latter.

There is also this plot where Scrooge wants to make a different team, implying that the kids are not good enough. This may have been a misinterpretation on the part of the kids, making this one of those "misunderstanding" episodes, but it is really vague here. It seemed to me that Scrooge really was trying to get a different team that did not involve his family for the most part. I am not going to say him being called out by Della when he's climbing the Titan is not a powerful scene, but I feel like it goes against the series entire arc of family being the best adventure of all. This isn't a Season 1 episode where Scrooge had to learn that, this is in Season 3!

Good thing: It was cool to see this plot expand the pantheon of Greek gods in this series. The DuckTales 2017 version of Hades, their reaction to Zeus being depowered, it’s all good.

8. The Split Sword of Swanstantine!

Unlike Gandra Dee, or any of the Olympians, the Sword of Swanstentine ended up being a major part of the finale. It is a shame that the hunt for that sword is the least best of the three shorts episodes. The first part with Dewey and Webby features the aforementioned child blinding plot that leads to a couple of cool survival scenes and a clever use of the big fight between Black Heron and Scrooge that happens throughout the episode, but is mostly just okay. The second part with Louie and Violet is a little weak, it's a one-idea premise with a character that I felt needed more development, period.

Huey and Lena's part may have been the highlight of the episode, but it only leads to an ending that is a bit predictable as soon as it comes up. Oh no, the villains have the sword! Nah, just kidding, the heroes have it because of a technicality that they certainly did not remember in the finale. I am a little glad they did not remember the sword's ability to not be used by people who have not earned it, actually, but that's not something that pertains to this episode specifically.

Good thing: As mentioned before, Huey and Lena's part is good. It's mitigated by The Duke of Making A Mess never really appearing again, but that is also not something that pertains to this episode specifically.

7. Happy Birthday, Doofus Drake!

The crew of the show have shown their disdain for the original Doofus. They could have just said that Doofus wasn't indicative of the kind of messaging they wanted to show, much like the original Burger Beagle, or the witch doctor stereotype who first summoned the Bombie, but no, their response to a character that was hated in the original was to make an even less likeable villain out of him! He was alright in "Day of the Only Child!", his debut, and I think that might be because he only had a third of the episode rather than more than half. While the ending is good, and there are some funny scenes with some of his other party guests, there's a lot of awkward scenes to work through here.

There is a plot that does not involve Doofus, but it does not do much good. The B-plot is pretty much shoe-horned in here, with no real connection besides involving characters that are not trying to crash the party. It is about Huey learning to step out of his comfort zone, and we know this because he goes into a video game world and having to learn how to step out of something that is outright called a "comfort zone". There just is not a lot to this plot other than some really cheap references. There's certainly nothing on the same level as Dewey Dew-Night, which is what "Day of the Only Child!" gave us. I guess I decided to put this episode in the Honey Bin after all.

Good thing: Glomgold's scheme involving his puppet son is a good Glomgold scene, and this is the episode that gave us Boyd, so I can't hate on it too much.

6. The Rumble for Ragnarok!

When I decided to re-rate Beaks in the Shell to a three, I was also specifically thinking of this episode as one of the worse episodes that I gave a three. This is a problem with having a series as consistently good as DuckTales 2017 is; there's a little to like in almost every episode, and this episode really knows how to handle pro wrestling as a setting while also making it fit in with the universe. I could see something like this happening in the old comics.

However, lots of neat references to pro wrestling can't hide that the way they implemented this plot is just flawed to me. The plot to me seemed to go with the moral that one should follow with what is right even if it does not lead to popularity. It does start well with Scrooge, as the villainous Millionaire Miser, telling Dewey to "embrace the boos" of the people that want the world to end. Then they decide that the crowd doesn't like Jörmungandr anymore because...he was being too harsh on a kid? They did not have a problem with Hecka beating up two kids, but when Jörmungandr ties him up with his tail, that's a heel turn? Conveniently, Dewey did not have to learn anything! I can appreciate that they didn't go with what any other cartoon would do and make a farce out of the form of entertainment, but I can not shake that off.

Good thing: Not only does this episode do a great job with wrestling jokes, it manages to throw in a reference to the original that seamlessly fits in with the wrestling jokes. It's too bad the Shield Maiden didn't get to do much, but it's still a positive.

5. The Richest Duck in the World!

I did say I wanted to only rate episodes, but if I was rating DuckTales 2017's arcs, the Louie one from Season 2 is definitely the lowest. Do not get me wrong, the Louie Inc. arc did have some good episodes, Storkules in Duckburg being a highlight, but it is definitely the least memorable arc in the series, and its finale is the worst of that arc. Sure, it was a big shocking moment in "GlomTales!" that he was able to swindle his own uncle's fortune, especially an uncle as sharp and smart as Scrooge McDuck, but the way this episode follows up on that is to make a hundred jokes about Louie being a lazy billionaire until he learns his lesson in a way that returns everything back to the status quo as soon as the real arc of the season comes back in the last minute of the episode. The finale of the entire show made this even more worthless, and I would rather not get into any more detail than I already had in that review.

I think what really gets me about this is how well Scrooge takes this plot, especially when compared to an episode that is coming up in this very list. I know a part of this is because of the villain of the episode, but there was also a feeling that Scrooge just knew that the status quo was going to come back. That just made this episode's conclusion just that much more foregone. The fact that the Tenderfeet had to show up to remind us that he exists does not make this any better. There is another plot about Della trying to call Penumbra, who is not answering her phone calls for reasons she could not have known. Revealing why she can't before kind of made the conclusion of that plot just that much more foregone. For an episode that comes before a major, major finale, it is so unmemorable to me.

Good thing: When Bradford was talking about "magical defense" in the first episode, I was thinking it was a reference to Magica, but this episode does a great job of retconning that into something less predictable. Retooling the Bombie, a villain with origins that are not necessarily acceptable by today's standards, into something more akin to a force of nature is great.

4. The Depths of Cousin Fethry!

The very first Disgusted Donald I have ever given, and, to be honest, it's because I have learned to raise my standards for this show. Don't get me wrong, this show's version of Fethry Duck had a bit of potential, especially as a sort of mentor to Huey, and the idea of the episode could have went to places, but I just found this episode boring at best. At worst, it just exaggerates Huey to an unimaginably nerdy level, up to licking trees to find out what their resin level is and kissing giant plant monsters. Outside of one particular monster near the end of the episode, that is all this episode has: grossout humor and boredom. As much as I get the joke that Launchpad's journey was just so awesome that it could not have been animated, I still stand by the running gag I made in that review.

Good thing: One good thing about the payoff is the camerawork. The viewer never sees that giant krill "monster" in full. They forgot about that in Moonvasion, though I can see the argument that the Moonvasion would make anything look small.

3. The 87 Cent Solution!

The second Disgusted Donald I have ever given, and also the last. Was I afraid to get the wrath? Well, I am certainly not afraid now, as I rate the episode where Scrooge gets "gold fever" over 87 cents getting stolen from him as the third least best episode. I mean, I get it. Scrooge did not get "gold fever" because he lost money. He lost plenty of money trying to fix his own mistakes. He got "gold fever" because someone outwitted the smartest of the smarties and the sharpest of the sharpies. However, I just couldn't find Scrooge's descent into that madness funny. It's not like the "sea monster ate my ice cream" scene from the original that the reboot decided to mock in a different episode, I just feel sorry for him in a way that just does not fit with the rest of the series.

Having the ending be Mrs. Beakley saying "oh, I would have dealt with those silly manchildren by myself" just felt bizarre compared to the rest of DuckTales 2017's endings. It felt more like an ending to that other reboot. It certainly had that "ugh, men" vibe.

Good thing: One scene that one might think I hated was the dance scene with Glomgold set to DJ Khaled's "All I Do Is Win." Not only is Glomgold the best part about this episode, that scene is among the best Glomgold scenes ever.

2. Terror of the Terra-firmians!

This was the episode I considered giving the first Disgusted Donald to, or in the new ratings terms, a 1 Scrooge, but I decided against it because it just was not as bad as the worst that I have seen before I took on this project. I was sure there was going to be an episode worse than this one, because every cartoon is going to have that one episode that does not measure up. Turns out, this was the one episode. The major plot of this episode is Huey and Webby just bickering over the existence of magical creatures who are clearly causing all of the problems of the episode. All this really leads to is the same ending one gets with the M&Ms Santa commercial, except the build up is not as funny. That's not a good sign when this episode is much longer than a commercial.

They throw in a part with Lena and Mrs. Beakley that ends up becoming a major piece of development for Lena. I'll admit: this was the part that made me not want to give it a Disgusted, but now I realize what happened. Lena's plot does not really interact with the Terra-firmian plot, with only the train crash being the only real interaction. It's like they knew this episode would not amount to much in the overall arc nor would it be particularly funny, so they put in this awesome Lena part. I will not get fooled again.

Good thing: As mentioned before, Lena saving Mrs. Beakley is better than the rest of the episode combined.

I was really hard pressed to consider putting in dishonorable mentions. It was hard enough picking 10 episodes for the actual list.

The Infernal Internship of Mark Beaks! - I just never really liked Mark Beaks as a villain. Smartphones may be around for a long time, but YOLO certainly will not.

Raiders of the Doomsday Vault! - The worst of Season 2 is already on this list, so I really stretched to find another episode that was any worse. This is just a case of Della Duck having better episodes than this.

Challenge of the Senior Junior Woodchucks! - In a series that had good season openers, this was decidedly not one of them. Other than introducing Webby 2, er, Violet, it was only good for starting the "Missing Mysteries of Finch" arc.

And now, the absolute least best episode of DuckTales 2017. It's plot important, very much so. It's an episode with Lena in it, usually a bright point of any DuckTales 2017 episode and a very beloved character. It's an episode I felt that was not good at all by DuckTales 2017 standards. That episode is...

1. The Other Bin of Scrooge McDuck!

I know this is the one with that hugely emotional scene of Lena seeing her best friend die in front of her eyes. Of course, neither Disney nor the overall arc of the series would ever allow that, as this is merely a dream sequence that shows that Lena is afraid of her aunt and what she will do to her new best friend, which clearly hasn't been shown in every one of her last appearances. Clearly, we needed this over-the-top dream sequence to really show the kids that Magica is the bad lady and Lena is the good girl. Everything good this A-plot did was done better in "Jaw$!"; they could have just tacked on this episode's ending to that episode, and it would have worked.

Oh, and the B-plot is the dreaded devil in plain sight plot. Huey, Dewey, and Louie befriend a Tenderfeet, the Tenderfeet turns out to be a jerk who tries to sabotage Louie, Louie gets blamed for it to the point where Huey, the usually sensible one, punches Louie in the arm as apparently bullying the Tenderfeet is the worst action he has ever done, and the cycle repeats. After reviewing a reboot that, despite all of its flaws, never managed to fall into it, I was shocked that DuckTales 2017, the reboot that really could, toyed with the worst plot in any cartoon ever and played it straight. I could see the argument that this is one of the better implementations of the forsaken plot, as Louie is already an untrustworthy person even among his brothers and he does manage to solve the problem in a way that fits with his scheming character, but, I am not sorry, it's still a devil in plain sight. Next. Oh wait, there is no next!

Good thing: At least I can admit that this show doesn't pull any punches. Oh no, I'm not talking about the dream sequence, I'm talking about the ending. At first, I did not really like it, as I thought it was another way for the villain to just snatch everything away at the last minute. However, once we learn more about Lena in the next episode, it makes a lot more sense.

And that's the least best! I really did not want to leave this negativity up for too long without its opposite, so the best list will be up on Wednesday rather than next week. Stay tuned!

← The Shorts (Part 2) 🦆 The Absolute Best! →

[honourablejester]

My sister and I were playing Far Harbour for the first time last night, and I’ll be honest here, I really don’t like the dialogue wheel when DiMA asks you if you might be a synth.

Like, okay, your options for responses are as follows:

How would I know?

I’m a human

I’m a synth

Sarcastic

Just looking at the flat, on-the-face-of-it choices for a moment, that’s …

This is where the dialogue wheel really struggles. Because those look both completely flat and completely arbitrary. Except for the first one, which is something you might actually say. So we said it. And then he prompts towards how you might know (dodgy memory gaps), and then just basically asks you again, so you have to choose one of the others.

Look. Before we get to any of the other answers, I don’t like this.

This is one of the driving questions of FO4. There is so much doubt, for everybody you meet, over who might be a synth, what that might mean, are their memories real, are they real, how would they know, if it was confirmed what would they do, and so many other questions. The entire Commonwealth is having a mass existential crisis over this question. No one knows the answer. And DiMA (or at least the dialogue wheel) just wants you to … arbitrarily pick an answer? With no indication of how you came to that conclusion? Yes, I’m a synth. I decided just now. No, I could only possibly be a human. Never mind that I’ve been helping the Railroad for ages and I’m in love with Nick Valentine, I instinctively reject the possibility that I could be a synth myself. They’re not …

I know how it’s maybe meant to sound. That you’re picking what your character instinctively feels about themselves. But there’s no room for doubt. The wheel just plops it flat. Are you or aren’t you. There’s no allowance for how pretty much every other person he could ask that question will have spent a decent portion of their lives wondering. Unless they’re a confirmed synth who knows their designation, and even then, they probably still wonder.

If you pick either option from that annoyingly flat and blunt choice, they expand out to:

I’m a human being, not a synth

I have to be honest, um, in the back of my mind, I’ve always suspected …

So, yes, apparently the first option was meant to make you sound vaguely racist. The voice acting (at least for the female survivor) puts a bit of an emphasis on ‘not a synth’ that does make her sound vaguely defensive and/or disgusted. It’s portrayed as a knee-jerk rejection.

If you choose the synth option, Nick likes it. So I’m guessing it was meant to be the more friendly option if you’re a general ally of synths. Or, you know, in love with one.

But. The thing is. Why are you saying either of them? There’s been no indication up to now (at least in our playthrough, and to be fair we haven’t gotten into the Institute yet) of what the survivor might actually think. There’s been no real indication of what she should think.

Why would she think she’s a synth? I’m not saying why would she wonder, there’s an infinity of reasons for that, I’m saying why would she pick an option that initially looks like conclusively saying she knows she is one. She doesn’t.

She could be. Very easily, though since we haven’t gone to the Institute yet our survivor doesn’t know a good few of the reasons why it would make sense. The most logical place for her to have been swapped would be that first wake-up in the cryo chamber, when Shaun was taken. It’s very easy to imagine that the original survivor actually died then, rather than got refrozen, and the one that woke up the second time was a synth. Especially since I gather it looks like Father was doing a lot of experimenting in general in allowing the survivor to be woken up. It would be very easy to think that the survivor that exists in the wasteland is a synth. There is the question of the memories, how would they have gotten a brain scan enough to picture some of the pre-War things from a corpse frozen in a tube, since Father himself likely can’t remember, but there are a good few sources of pre-War memories in the Commonwealth (hi Nick!), so it’s not too much of a stretch to imagine the Institute got their hands on enough to prompt and then fake the rest.

There are lots of little dialogue options in the game, usually when you’re talking to pre-War ghouls and/or Nick himself, that do make it sound like you have more pre-War memories. Remembering the details of Silver Shroud episodes, things like that. But, again, the Institute clearly has access to pre-War brain scans from CIT, so that can be explained.

But that doesn’t prove she’s a synth. And there are a lot of reasons for her to think she’s a human that have nothing to do with apparently being slightly racist. Primarily, because her story is already so weird as it stands. I’m a pre-war popsicle (possibly with brain damage from being frozen, defrosted, refrozen and defrosted again) that woke up in an apocalyptic wasteland. That’s a lot to swallow from a standing start, without wondering if I’m a robot with fake memories on top of it.

Admittedly, DiMA does say that. There’s a lot of explanations for dodgy memories that could happen to anyone, let alone someone with such a massive trauma and huge before-after divide as the sole survivor. Which, possibly, makes it more likely for her to be a synth, because hello tailor-made past to explain away internal inconsistencies. She’d make a great experiment. But it doesn’t make it more likely for her to believe she’s a synth. She thinks she comes from a time before they even existed. She has every reason to believe her own internal narrative about Vault 111 and waking up 200 years later. Regardless of her feelings about synths in general, she has no particular reason to believe she herself is one.

Which I think is my main problem with this dialogue wheel. It’s not really posing the question as a philosophical or existential conundrum, a question the survivor might actually ask herself. It’s asking the question as a means to make her pick a side.

So the option to say you’re human comes out vaguely defensive, something a Brotherhood operative would say. And the option to say you’re a synth makes the synths around you happy.

The wheel has nothing to do with what you actually think you might or might not be. It gives you no option to say you’re really not sure, you can’t decide, you don’t know. Well, it does, and then forces you to make a choice between them anyway. It makes you pick an option, and only gives a nod to doubt in hindsight, and only if you pick synth. The way the options play out, it makes it sound like you don’t make the choice based on what you think you are, you make the choice based on who you plan to side with (or have been siding with back in the Commonwealth). While presuming that the only reason you’d pick a side is that you’re part of it on a racial level.

It makes it sound like the only reason to think you’re human is because you hate the thought of being a synth. That any reasonable person would think that they probably are one, especially if they already like them and are an ally to them. That the only reason to be an ally with synths and want to help them is the idea in the back of your brain that you are one yourself.

Like, I don’t know if I’m overthinking this slightly because I didn’t like the flatness of the choice and then how our particular choice played out. We picked human, because to the best of our knowledge our survivor had no real reason to think she wasn’t one. And then what we said came out sounding like Maxson could have said it. Which, given that we’re a staunch Minuteman/Railroad member, and in love with Nick Valentine, did not please me in the slightest.

But I really do feel that the wheel is too flat, too arbitrary, comes out of nowhere, and frames your choices in a really manipulative way. While the base game does ask a lot of questions about who is or is not a synth, and several people do challenge you as one because they’re in paranoid meltdowns, this is the first time we’ve really been asked if we think we might actually be a synth. And for the first time you’re asked something, especially something so existentially fraught as this, are you really going to be able to give a flat, definite answer? Yes or no? Sure, I’m totally a synth. Not sure how I came to that conclusion, but absolutely I am one. Off the top of my head, yup.

(Sidenote: the way it dismisses your question of ‘How would I know?’ also annoys me. I know it’s because it’s meant to be a general ‘asking for clarification’ prompt, but it actually makes more sense as an answer in itself. How would she know? Why can’t that stand as her answer? But no, the wheel/DiMA presses you on to make a binary choice)

Why would you, as the player, pick ‘I’m a synth’, except that you’re siding with synths? The game has given you no evidence or asked you no direct questions up to now for you to genuinely think that your character is a synth. And I get RPing doubts, and the expanded version of that answer, what you actually say, is something I might have said had that been given as the initial option. In the back of my head, I have wondered if I might be. Because basically everyone in the Commonwealth has probably wondered that by now. But we had no reason to say ‘I am a synth’, like that was a thing we knew. Because we don’t.

The baseline assumption is going to be that you’re human. All your memories and evidence point that way. Unless you’ve been to the Institute and pulled your file and synth designation off their databanks, you’d have no way of knowing you’re a synth. So why would you say you are?

To get in good with Acadia. That’s why you’d say you are. Because you want to ally with synths, or infiltrate them, so you blithely say that you are one. Because clearly everyone knows that the only reason you’d help a synth or ally with them is if you are one.

I don’t like this dialogue wheel. I really, really don’t like it. I know it’s a system problem. The wheel system doesn’t expand on what you’re actually going to say, so you have to make your best guess based off dodgy summary prompts (which is why we basically never choose the ‘sarcastic’ option, because holy Hannah we’ve no idea if we’re going to be mildly snarky or cut someone to the bone with that one, and most of the time we’re not chancing it). But the particular way the initial prompts and then the actual dialogue in this one plays out has some very unfortunate implications. It does really feel like it enforces the ‘humans vs synths and if you are one, you’re antagonistic to the other’ divide. It feels like a choice designed to make you pick a side, and to declare yourself racially in order to do so. And I don’t like it.

Um. Right. Sorry for the rant.

(For the record, I am enjoying the DLC generally at the minute. Far Harbour as a setting is fantastically spooky and Lovecraftian, and running around it with Nick is great so far. But that particular moment really bugged me. Like a lot. Heh)

[lizziebennet92]

Here is Part 2 of my Roswell threesome thoughts. Part 1 is here.

This part deals with consent. So trigger warning for discussion of sexual coercion and assault. I talk about how I viewed the scene, and how I don’t agree with the way some people have decided to interpret it. Also Heather’s interview.

Before the episode I had only seen a vague spoiler that it was going to happen, and some people who were angry and claiming that Alex was essentially coerced or even assaulted. Because of that when I watched the episode I payed extra close attention to see what people were talking about. I didn’t see any of that. I’m actually incredibly surprised and not exactly happy that people are spreading that. (I do know there were sound mixing issues, and people mishearing lines)

I watched the scene, I re-watched, and I re-watched with closed captions just to try and figure out where that was coming from. I don’t see it. I looked really hard, because the idea is so upsetting. It just wasn’t there for me.

There multiple nonverbal cues, as well as actually verbal confirmation.

Maria says she doesn’t want Alex to go. Alex says he doesn’t want to leave TWICE. Michael checks in and asks what they are doing. Alex is very active in it. The idea that this wasn’t consensual is just not founded in canon.

There was also Alex and Michael’s entire conversation the next day, which while they were awkward (cuz ex sex is awkward) nothing indicates that the threesome wasn’t consensual.

Alex makes sarcastic joke about his bucket list and then how if he’d been told that was going to happen he’d ask “what circle of hell?” he was in. But then he laughs and goes on “but I don’t know, last night I felt…” and he agrees when Michael answers “loved”

Which indicates that it’s not something he wanted before, but that within the specific context of the night before he was okay. The “but” indicates he feels differently than the idea of it being hell.

Again because it was a “Dramatic Situation Threesome” there was a specific emotional context to it. It wasn’t people randomly having a threesome for the thrill.

Now, if you were upset by the scene I understand. If it reminded you of a something negative you went through or just the idea of a gay person being in a intimate situation in proximity to a straight person is like a hard limit for you, I get it. If you just want peace out and be done with the whole show, no judgement.  

But I do not understand spreading the idea that it was assault or coercion. I actually find that pretty upsetting. It’s just not supported in the episode.

If it gets brought up again or expanded on and there’s more information that indicates the characters were not okay with what happened, then that’s a different story. And they could go that way I guess, I don’t see how but they could. But I think we kind of have to go with what we’ve actually seen before we start spreading the idea that it was outright assault. (I’ll obviously edit this and alter my view on the whole thing if we’re given more information and things change on that front)

Now I would for sure like this to get brought up again on the show and maybe for characters to be even more explicit with their thoughts on it. I would also really like to read the shooting script to see if any other context elements were cut. But I don’t know either of those will happen

I know one thing that could have added to how people saw the scene was Heather’s interview. Again, I didn’t read it beforehand, so I only looked at what actually happened on the show.

Now, those interview quotes are bad. I am not defending them. They were very upsetting to read. They made me angry. I don’t know if there’s more context, it doesn’t really matter. They are something I absolutely think Heather should try and clarify, and possibly apologize for how it came out.

That being said, I also feel like whatever Heather said wasn’t how the episode portrayed it. It’s just does not come across as premeditated manipulation, or trying to hurt anyone, or even forcing Michael to choose and pick her.

The only part of anything I saw in the those quotes that I actually got from the episode was the next morning, where Maria is obviously feeling very insecure and expecting Michael to choose Alex and sort of prodding him about if he’s going after Alex or staying with her. But that’s all after the fact.

I understand if reading what she said ruined any possibility for some to view the scene in an only vaguely bad/neutral light. It was an upsetting thing to read. But that doesn’t mean it’s what was shown in the actual show.

I’m just saying, it’s not supported by the actual scenes in the episode.

Previous Part 1

Next. Part 3 Part 4

[calamity-bean]

Barkskins (2020)

Lately I’ve been posting some gifs and such from a new show based (loosely, my impression is) on the Annie Proulx novel of the same name. I haven’t read the novel and knew very little about the show before I started, but I thought I’d post a bit about my impressions thus far, as of episode 1.04.

So! Barkskins is a period drama set in the late 17th century in what is now Quebec, centered around a remote little French settlement called Wobik. There are multiple plot threads at work, but the initial hook driving the narrative is the suspicious massacre of another nearby settlement. This mystery wraps around the lives of the varied people competing to survive and thrive in this corner of New France.

Short and spoiler-free opinion: I'm enjoying it so far! The tone is fairly dark and gritty, always with an edge of danger and even some hints of a sort of religious/folk horror element at work (we’ll see if that comes to anything meaningful, I suppose). The cast has a lot of talent, and based on what I’ve read, there does appear to have been a serious effort to value and involve indigenous voices throughout the creative process. Moreover, it’s a historical setting that interests me, and I like some of the characters a lot. I suspect that one of the biggest dangers this show runs, giving its fairly wide scope and limited number of episodes, is that it may fail to deliver on / fully develop everything it’s hinting at or touching upon... but we’ll see.

Longer description and opinions, potentially with vague/general spoilers, under the cut.

(there is a lot of focus on trees in this show. you may not have expected that from the name.)

Anyone who follows me would be forgiven for thinking that there are only two characters in this show, because I’ve only been posting the same two over and over. Shockingly, there are, in fact, more. Prominent ones so far include:

A traumatized young girl (Lola Reid) who is apparently one of the only survivors of the aforementioned massacre, yet no one recognizes her as being one of the people at that settlement.

Rene Sel and Charles Duquet (Christian Cooke and James Bloor), indentured servants newly arrived from France.

Claude Trepagnay (David Thewlis), an eccentric but ambitious French settler, and Mari (Kaniehtiio Horn), the underappreciated Wendat woman who lives with him.

Hamish Goames and Yvon Kirkpatrick (Aneurin Barnard and Zahn McClarnon) of the Hudson’s Bay Company, who are investigating the disappearance of a colleague. Goames is British, Yvon Anishinaabe.

Melissande and Delphine (Tallulah Haddon and Lily Sullivan), filles du roi brought from France to become wives of settlers.

Mathilde Geffard (Marcia Gay Harden), a no-nonsense and very observant French innkeeper, along with other townspeople of Wobik.

As you can see, most of the lead characters are white Europeans. Given the history of this era and the premise of the show, colonialism (and the conflicts/violence thereof) is naturally a major and inescapable part of the narrative. I was unsure, going in, how the show was going to handle the portrayal of Native characters and cultures. It’s not a topic I can offer personal insight into, as I’m white and not very educated in the irl history/cultures of this setting anyway, but it is a topic I care about. So I looked online to see what better informed people had to say.

This article by The 1491s’ Migizi Pensoneau discusses his involvement with the show (including his initial skepticism) and highlights the indigenous voices who contributed to Barkskins — including writers, actors, historians, and community leaders and advisors, both in the writing room and on location. In Pensoneau’s words:

“Barkskins” is still historical fiction told for television, involving multiple stakeholders and stories, and made within the studio world. In other words, it’s not perfect. But the Native spaces and Native people depicted were handled with just as much care, time, and investment as every other aspect of the show. Instead of a Hollywood producer shorting Native representation based on profitability, we placed as much control as possible into the hands of the communities depicted. The integrity with which we approached this task tells a better story, and I’m excited for everyone to see indigenous characters and communities portrayed on television in a new way.

Steeve Gros-Louis, director of the Huron-Wendat Sandokwa dance troupe, has also spoken positively about his experience of the show’s approach to his culture. Overall, I would definitely say that the story thus far has been told primarily through the lens of colonists. But there are characters from multiple indigenous cultures of the region, two of whom are leads, and general reactions to the portrayal of these characters/cultures seem positive.

(this shot was SO sepia before i adjusted it, like i did a lot and yet it is still very sepia, fair warning that this show’s indoor scenes often suffer from a chronic case of Everything In History Was Sepia.)

Most of the lead characters are also male, though there are about five prominent women so far. (...Honestly, I’ve watched period dramas with fewer.) Among these, I think an interesting phenomenon the show’s chosen to explore is the filles du roi — young women who’ve traveled from France at the king’s expense specifically to provide wives for the overwhelmingly male population of early settlers. These young women differ in personalities and motives but all seem to be very much alone in the world, and it seems clear that they have chosen this path in hope of better opportunities but are also anxious about how their lives in this “new world” will turn out. The show is closely following the journeys of two of them in particular (ambitious Melissande and shy Delphine, both of whom have secrets), and while it is a bit tiring that women in historical fiction are so often defined by their relation to a man, I appreciate that this storyline is about the wives themselves.

Personally, my two favorite characters so far are the Company men: Goames and Yvon. Goames is very much the sort of character I’m often drawn to, in terms of his manner and apparent worldview: “the implacable sort, rigid in his thoughts and actions,” serious and decent and imo with hints of a storyline challenging his loyalty to his institution, which has in the past been the sort of storyline I very much enjoy. (I uh, would be lying if I said I wasn’t also simply... drawn to Mr. Barnard in general.) Yvon stands out for his dry snark and eloquence and for the bigotry he runs into as a Native man operating within white spheres, which casts a pall over his generally unflappable demeanor, and I have a lot of curiosity about his background. Their partnership is a highlight of the show, imo, and I’m quite interested in where their storyline will go re: their individual character arcs as well as the overall narrative. I’m also particularly fond of Mari and Delphine.

(my BOYS! this is not an actual still from the show but look at Aneurin. look at his silly pose.)

As far as the content goes, I don’t think it’s been too egregious so far, but be advised:

Primary warning is for violence. It’s not overly gory, but there is fighting, blood, bodies, etc. One act of violence I will warn for specifically: in the first episode, a group of Iroquois men are killed (offscreen), and their bodies are displayed hanged and impaled. This is clearly presented as an atrocity, and the bodies are mostly shown from a distance so that they’re small and indistinct, but there are a couple close-up shots.

Also, as I’ve mentioned, characters such as Yvon and Mari do face racist treatment/remarks from white characters.

There has been a nongraphic instance of attempted sexual assault, which was successfully rebuffed.

So... yeah! At time of writing, half the season has aired — it airs Monday evenings on Nat Geo and goes up on Hulu Tuesday afternoon, and they seem to be airing two episodes a week, which is frankly annoying, I’d rather get either a proper savor or a proper binge. The reviews I’m seeing online are mostly positive (I’ve seen at least one trot out the dreaded “It’s the next GoT!��� line, which I think is inaccurate re: its tone/focus and also, like, why are people still trying to say that as though it’s a good thing), and there seems to be a small little fandom getting started here on Tumblr. (Not that I’ve really met many of y’all yet. If you’re reading this, hi!) And while Proulx’s novel covers some 300 years — it’s one of those generational sagas, I gather, following characters and their distant descendants — thus far I’ve seen no indication that the show is going to be set up that way. I recall reading something that said they’d basically taken a small part of the novel and massively expanded the characters, etc., so for now, at least, I’m going to assume the show is staying within this one slice of history.

Anyway, though. I’ll admit I’ve not been devoting 100% of my attention to any given ep, as I gotta work on other things while I watch, but so far, it’s intriguing, it’s got a number of actors and characters I like in it, and I appreciate learning that it had input from a variety of indigenous contributors. Overall, I intend to continue seeing where it goes!

[itonlyhappenstome]

Coronavirus Lockdown UK Homeschooling Day 3.

Just FYI…. It would be in order of weight — Flash, Captain America, Roadman and then Janet (who is a boy but identifies with a girl and looks a bit like Boris Johnson).

Alex did cry a bit when he thought we were serious as Flash is his Guinea pig, but we explained and made him feel better — so I think actually we can add life skills and bereavement counselling to the list of todays lessons!

Well we are now on Day 3, and am I the only person who wakes up every morning and hears the Big Brother Geordie voice over “Its Day 3 in the Hindle Lockdown household!”. Further lockdowns imposed so we are only allowed to leave the house for shopping and pharmacy and for our daily walk. It is getting slightly more familiar, so the initial anxiety is changing to a standard brand of predictable panic. It would be better I think if we knew how long it will go on. The stretching uncertainty is draining in itself, I do not whether to use reserves now or not.

What is not changing though is my discomfort with being completely accessible to all members of the family 100% of the time. Whatever I am doing, want to do, need to do, in the middle of doing…. is secondary to the needs, wants, desires, requirements and demands of any member of the family at any given moment on demand. And if I act annoyed and frustrated because I am in the middle of doing my own work and do not want to watch a trick on the trampoline, or have a chat about the latest news update, or peel a fucking apple/get a glass of water or anything else that my family members are capable of doing themselves or can wait until I am free to do— or even politely enquiring if it is a convenient time rather than EXPECTING it, then I am the grumpy arsehole.

Every day seems to bring different emotions, and it is a roller coaster, not always bad, not always good, not always familiar, but it is fascinating how it is evolving and changing, and seeing how we are coping. I have reduced my expectations and accepted I am not super mum, or a teacher, and that no-one is finding this easy — and that has helped a lot. Also continuing to be selective with whats app groups and reading has helped. And Gin continues to be a constant support….

So last night, as we have more time on our hands we started finally watching Black Mirror….. No idea what series we started on, but it was the episode where the Prime Minister was made to shag an actual Pig live on air in order to save the equivalent of Kate Middleton.

My husband and I had a very highbrow debate as to whether we would be ok with this depending on the person (Boris and Trump would get no sympathy from Team Hindle — but we would organise something nice for the Pig afterwards as compensation…), and we felt really sorry for the pig in Black Mirror — why did no-one care about the pig?!? And then realised we had no idea if 10 Downing Street had a back garden and had a moment of awe and appreciation for Google maps and technology, as how had our minds never been expanded before to ponder these subjects and then to have the ability to see the garden online! Amazing! We didn’t look though as we were pissed and forgot.

Obviously feeling like we had connected on a new spiritual level (and I am fairly sure the cosmic mood enhancers Brew Dog, Red Wine and Gin helped open my husbands 3rd eye also…) when we went to bed, my husband laid his head on mine, and after a moments silence and bewilderment I asked what the actual F he was doing and could he move as it was hurting. And he answered that he was trying to connect us in our dreams, and that maybe as we were more in tune emotionally now we could do that (?), and he was trying to transfer an Eagle through his brain channels to mine.

You know sometimes you are a bit “Are you joking and I am going to look a twat taking this seriously…? Or “are you being serious and I am going to be making you feel like an arse if I think you are joking?” well I went for the latter and my husband rolled over in a huff muttering that my dream tribe were not going to be safely guided by the imaginary dream Eagle and the disjointed feeling of this tribe was on my conscience, he had at least tried and could sleep soundly.

He didn’t remember the Eagle last night. I am surprised actually I did, as was clearly a bit drunk by the way I tried to brush my teeth with Germolene this morning…

So, homeschool Day 3, we are lowering expectations and trying to find creative ways to pass the time, as we are all just a bit bored and “meh” with it all. Just living to Easter Holidays on Friday — which will mean no change to captivity for us, but at least we can drop the pretence of trying to fill the day with meaningful and educational shit and go be demotivated alone in our electronic device worlds without judgment or guilt.

Started well at the crack of 10.30am with locking the kids outside in the trampoline, even put the older one in her school sports kit (weirdly felt I should get extra parenting credit for that!). Parenting win before lunchtime I feel!

The younger ones needed to expend some energy and frustration so I had them stabbing bits of concrete with child friendly IKEA knives (ok vaguely child friendly, I am sure any metal object when used as a stabby thing is not that child friendly actually in hindsight) to free up “stuff” inside. And one of them looks like a bell end with infected foreskin — so that was amusement for the kids and also adults alike!

DIE METAPHORICAL COVID 19 CONCRETE!

Laughing childishly at what looks like a Bell End with infected foreskin (actually a pirates face…) We then combined Biology, Politics, Science, Maths and potentially Home economics with time with the Guinea pigs! Firstly we had a life lesson/Biology by explaining why Janet was dancing on the face of Captain America and that it was not dancing, or bullying (ok well it is probably classed as bullying unless you are in Prison and then it is “love”).The Guinea Pigs helped us with Politics as we showed the children the information about the lockdown, what it meant, and there may be a food shortage so we must not waste food. So they weighed the Guinea Pigs to see in which order we should eat them in the event of a food shortage — which enabled them to have Maths, Science and potentially Home Economics! Epic!

Just FYI…. It would be in order of weight — Flash, Captain America, Roadman and then Janet (who is a boy but identifies with a girl and looks a bit like Boris Johnson).

Alex did cry a bit when he thought we were serious as Flash is his Guinea pig, but we explained and made him feel better — so I think actually we can add life skills and bereavement counselling to the list of todays lessons!

I did send my husband out with the children on a walk with a picnic, and stated that for everyones sanity, health and well being I was imposing myself on an hours complete self isolation. The. Walls. Are. Closing. In. I actually shrieked earlier when my husband shut the door of the room I was in — the walls started moving in on me!

He has gone out for essential shopping now, Tonic Water. Maybe I should have asked him to look for fruit and vegetables, but my brain has started to turn to mush.

Stay safe everyone….!

[yoyo-inspace]

BREAKDOWN of the His Dark Materials teaser trailer

If you’re like me and love speculating and pausing a trailer for every frame to try and figure it out - this is definitely the post for you!

If you’re not like me and would like things to come as a surprise to you, or don’t want to speculate much with months still to go before seeing the finished product, then maybe this is not the post for you. 

Anyway, below the cut, I’m going to proceed to poke and prod at the HDM teaser trailer to see what it can tell us - and also freak out a lot. Because I do that.

Alright, so first off, this is definitely a teaser trailer. As they’ve said across multiple social media accounts, it was more to keep interest up and to give the fans something, a little tease, so to say. It’s also mostly just showing off core members of the cast, or famous actors in the cast. As many have pointed out - no daemons! “We’re keeping our daemons close” as they said on twitter. Probably still in post-production would be my guess? But I’ll happily take what we have so far and run with it. So, let’s start!

First off, we have two shots which should be very easy to guess for anyone who’s familiar with how the story starts. 

Yes, that’s right, it’s Lyra in the cupboard. Listening in to the conversation and presentation Lord Asriel has for the scholars. The strong light in the second one could just be the light in the room outside, but my personal guess (considering how much stronger the light is from the first picture) is that it’s the light from the projector when Asriel shows off the pictures. 

Next up is this: 

A very vague shot of someone moving a volume of Encyclopædia Britannica. My guess would be that this is still at Jordan, maybe something involving the Master and the Librarian, or possibly even Lyra moving around the college. Why they chose to focus on it in the trailer is interesting though. Maybe just to show off the setting? 

Next up, it’s our first look of James McAvoy as Lord Asriel!

oh my god he looks so good as Asriel I’m so hyped So I think this is quite obviously the retiring room. Probably after the attempted poisoning, when the other scholars are starting to file in. Asriel’s look, the way he turns his head up, accompanied by the very next clip makes me think that this might be Asriel looking suspiciously at the Master since he now knows what he tried to do. 

Because, right next up, we have Clarke Peters as the Master of Jordan College - or as we now know him, after “La Belle Sauvage”, Dr. Carne.

Maybe him locking eyes with Asriel across the room after realising that he’s still alive. At least I think this is still in the Retiring Room. Probably very early episode 1 stuff. It’s interesting that they’re focusing so much on him in this - even giving his name a spot in the trailer. I don’t know if they’re doing that because he’s a famous actor and it gives name recognition, or if they’ve expanded his role somewhat. I’d honestly be fine with that. I’ve always found him to be a fascinating character and the movie butchered a lot of that by having it be Fra Pavel trying to poison Asriel instead but I’m getting off topic. 

Next up we have Lyra in her blue dress - running away!

Everything points to this being the night she runs away from Mrs. Coulter’s cocktail party. If I’m not mistaken, that was in London, but I think they still filmed this in Oxford. Either way, not much to take away from this other than 1) that scene is in there and 2) we’re getting more teaser trailer shots of Dafne Keen as Lyra and that’s pretty hype. That blue dress looks great. 

Next up, it’s time for Ruth Wilson as Mrs. Coulter in these two shots!

I’m taking them together because due to the way she’s dressed and the building around them, they seem to be from the same scene, or at least the same area.

The first one simply sees her opening a door at a distance. The building could either be churchly, something Magisterium related, or it could be a scholarly college building. Look, it’s (most likely) Oxford, it’s very hard to tell one from the other. 

Second is a close-up (doesn’t she look great!), and the clip shows her walking slowly, confidently, while a bunch of men run and seem to be in a bit of a hurry. I honestly have no idea what this could be in relation to the book - but we know we’re getting an expansion of her character and that we’re getting more Mrs. Coulter stuff, so this could very well be one of those. The men running, at first glance I thought they were Magisterium guards, but at a closer look, their clothes make them seem more like scholars, possibly theologians or something similar. Could also be other people working for the Magisterium, but my bet is scholars for now. As to what they’re running to (from?) that Mrs. Coulter seems to be in no rush about - your guess is as good as mine. 

Next up we have some dramatic music along with reveals of the names of some of the actors, as well as shots of said actors directly afterwards.

First up is Dafne Keen.

Lyra, in the North. She turns her head, looking quite scared, or worried. There’s not a lot of clues to where this would be taking place (except for like, in the latter half of the show, probably). Possibly when she finds Tony Makarios, or when their camp gets attacked. But given the solitude of her her, it could just as well be her 1) by Bolvangar, 2) right before she’s taken to the bears or 3) on her way to stop Asriel. Either way, likelihood is high that nothing good is happening. 

Ruth Wilson! 

Look at that outfit! I love it! Still no idea where this could be! I mean, it’s most likely in the North. It seems to me as this series will take a page out of the latter books, and follow multiple storylines along with Lyra’s. In Northern Lights, I think there was only like a chapter or two, or perhaps even just parts of a chapter, that were not from Lyra’s perspective. I for one would be all for more Marisa stuff - and my guess would be that this is one of them. Her getting to the North, her in the North - either way, she’s somewhere cold. This might even be her ending outfit, from when she confronts Asriel. It’s a very big hangar she’s in either way - could that be Bolvangar? Would they have such a big hangar? Or somewhere else? Maybe she still hasn’t gotten to the north, but is dressed for the occasion. Who knows. 

James McAvoy’s turn next!

Looking appropriately shady. Given the equipment (and the state of it) in the background, my guess would be that this is very late in the series - possibly when Lyra arrives at his “prison”. He looks like he’s had a rough time, despite everything. And his hair seems very similar to how it looked in that livestream James McAvoy did on his last days of filming. (Is it just me, or does his hair have more grey streaks than in his first appearance? Did the bears make your hair turn grey, Asriel?)

Next up, Clarke Peters!

Again, the focus on the Master is surprising, but not unwelcome (to me at least). But I’m also thinking that maybe he will just not be that big of a character, and they might just be focusing on it for name recognition. Either way, he’s probably at Jordan here, sitting in front of a fireplace. My guess would be that it’s his talk with the librarian, about Lyra and her destiny and betrayal and all that. He has cause for looking concerned. 

And now, he’s here! First shot of Lin-Manuel Miranda as Lee Scoresby! 

Looking very serious indeed! The person that’s out of focus that he’s looking at might very well be Lyra - this could be just after they’ve first met, or Lyra telling him what Iorek is about to do.

The next shot, someone taking their gun out of a holster, is shown quickly afterwards. Probably still Lee, but I’m unsure if it’s the same scene as above. Lighting seems very different. Though Lee is not the only one with a gun in this trailer, and we’ll get back to that shortly.

But before that, while we might not get a look at our favourite armoured bear in this teaser, we do get to hear him (or a roar, at least). 

This shot shows some terrified guard scrambling away from something that’s clearly terrified him (and maybe broken down a door) while other guards stand around with weapons. A solid guess would be that this is Trollesund, and this is when Iorek’s broken in to get his armour back. The way this guard is dressed makes me think that maybe the people running around Mrs. Coulter earlier might actually have been other people working at the Magisterium. Hmm.

So, speaking of guns and weapons. 

We see Mrs. Coulter in a fancy hallway, following someone who seems to have taken something (at least he has something in his hand). Doesn’t seem like he’ll get very far though, as Mrs. Coulter has a gun (!!!) and apparently a really calm, secure aim. Could this be one of the spies John Faa and Farder Coram sends out? If so, we know that doesn’t go very well, even if the detail of Mrs. Coulter taking care of it is slightly different. Could also be something completely different. On that note - she’s wearing a lot of blue so far, isn’t she? 

Next up we have some poor guard throwing himself (or being thrown) out a very fancy window. Yeet out the magisterium Given the look of the buildings, I’d say this is still Trollesund, and this might be the work of Iorek. 

What follows is the crescendo of the trailer with a lot of shots being thrown at the viewer at rapid-fire pace. 

A shot of someone (Lyra? Mrs. Coulter?) in a snowstorm, reacting to a very strong light. Given the colour of the hat, my guess would be Lyra, and possibly the moment Asriel activates his machine, or at least around that timeframe. 

Another shot of Asriel up next, in a truck (??) with a lot of equipment. He doesn’t look as worn out as the previous clip of him, so my guess would be that this is a shot before he gets captured. Which means that, just like I speculated before, we might get to follow the rest of the characters beside Lyra. Interestingly, this seems to be one thing that this tv series has in common with the movie - something I honestly don’t mind, as split storylines is usually what works better in a tv or movie format than following a single protagonist all the time. 

Following shots seem to all be from Bolvangar. First off we have a sciency-looking person pulling a lever. Given the next shot, this might be the lever that starts the process to sever Lyra from Pan. 

Lyra screaming, stuck in what seems to be a very small box. Could this be the intercision machine? Most likely. 

A shot from above, with people waving - specially a lot of children. I think this could be Lyra & co. leaving after Bolvangar. Seems a bit less chaotic than the fight in that case, but it could be that they’re leaving after the fight. Unsure if that’s Farder Coram and John Faa at the bottom, but it very well could be! That could very well be Lucien Msamati and James Cosmo. 

Lyra in her North outfit that we’ve seen previously (with the red hat). Unsure if these are the Tartar guards of Bolvangar, or the hunters that take her there in the first place. Either way the surrounding doesn’t quite seem to fit either situation (though I definitely think it’s Bolvangar). 

Lyra looking terrified, in more clinical clothing, in front of some kind of machinery. Someone is standing behind her as well. Probably by the time she’s captured and being taken to the intercision machine. 

Once we go North, Mrs. Coulter seemingly seems to wear red. This looks like the same thing she’s wearing under her jacket up above. It’s also a strange angle, her reaching out for something, first person POV. It’s definitely in Bolvangar, given the building she’s in. Could she be reaching out for Lyra (having her moment when she saves her?) or is she reaching out for the box she thinks contains the alethiometer. She looks very entranced by whatever she’s after. 

Finally, the last shot after the title reveal.

Lyra closing the box with the alethiometer. And yes, it’s square! Ish! Well, it’s round, but it’s in a box that is square. Looking a lot more like how a compass actually looks honestly even though the alethiometer was never meant to be the compass in the title but that’s another tangent. 

So, that’s that! Any thoughts? Do you disagree or agree with any of my interpretations? Any thoughts you all have of the parts that left me confused? 

[faline-cat444]

More voice actor weirdness

As I stated previously due to being one of those few weirdos who did not grow up with Invader Zim being a big part of my upbringing my ideal source for who to first think of for a character voiced by Richard Horvitz is Billy.This kind of had another weird connection slip into place that I guess I somewhat tried to blur.

To get a bit of background I was in third grade when they released the movie based on The Polar Express and the teachers of the grade level if not the whole school got obsessed with it.Minimum of this first year was rather than calling the mandatory Christmas/holiday party that it was instead a “Polar Express Party” where they made it something of a Pajama Day with chairs lined in the hallway to have us pretend it was a train car and getting one of the teacher’s husbands to dress up as the Conductor(His hole-punching skills on our tickets was obviously not to the level of the character).In the following two years this would expand to a joke on how one of my recurring classmates was pretty much the spitting image of the character credited as “Hero Girl”.I suppose it was another attempt of family bonding similar to how we apparently saw the first Shrek together in the local theater but we saw it while it was still a new movie in such conditions.This is where the relevant spice of this post is about to get sprinkled...

Third grade was a lot of things,one of which being when I started needing to wear glasses and I’m not sure if things would have been different if my vision was better but they were a part of my identity by the time this film was out.This is the first point of connection...The “Know-It-All” boy character.As soon as I heard that voice my mind was going “THAT’S FREAKING MANDARK” but factors were not to my advantage at the time for:

You need to be quiet in a movie theater

I was more-or-less a mere child

Unlike the present Cartoon Network was only an experience I occasionally indulged in and the parents would be off watching their own things given the chance of cable access

In the end my parents and I each had our opinions on the film.For me it was the fact I was familiar with Eddie Deezen’s voice.A similar standing to mine would be taken by my father except he thought it would be funny comparing me to that boy which would lead me in needing to keep track of how I talked in general more than I already was as if I slipped up in any way he would call me out for to him I sounded like the Polar Express Boy.For my mother it was disappointment that the picture book source was not full of all the expanded details the film had(But that’s not a true surprise at all).

Things pretty much died down except around Christmastime in the following years given we purchased the movie on DVD and TV itself was hoping to give it a mark as a holiday classic for years to come.I would also become a slight bit more brazen by the time fifth grade came around for the grand finale field trip that took us out of the state had us watch a documentary on the sun and it would have me vocally whisper to my mother “Al Roker is narrating this.”

Life went on,school goes on and off,and channels gain new programming.It was summer and I think I finished up my first year of middle school.We were on vacation which I think at the time was my only source for cable and had to spend one night in a two-bed single TV motel room before going back to the more fancy place.Cartoon Network had Chowder as part of its line-up at the time which through typing this up had me learn this episode’s particular spelling was in the form of “Sheboodles”(Also had me learn “Shaboodle” is apparently a term but that seems better off saved as a story for another time).Like many things due to passage of time,technical mental strain,etc. I don’t specifically remember the episode’s plot but there is one voice I could obviously place...And so could my father so when it came to seeing the episode rerun in that motel status I think he outright said “IT’S YOU!”

The joke would later carry on with the episode of Flapjack I also vaguely place the details of.Except it would be my mother comparing what I believe was meant to be a Jane Goodall parody’s appearance to mine.Ehh...I have no idea what kicked me into doing this but I sure hope someone found entertainment out of it.

[demansiabites]

So, the 2010′s are over, what the fuck is up with that one? I spent more time in video games during the 2010′s than I probably spent in school, so I’ve naturally been trying to rank 10 games as my favorites of the decade. Of course, I’m a dumb bitch so I couldn’t think of anything past four or so games that I loved during the decade. So under the cut, here are my top 10 games that I played during the decade ranked in idunno an order I guess:

Number 10: Far Cry 3 (November 29th, 2012), aka the worst fucking game I’ve ever enjoyed. Far Cry 3 is a video game, that’s one of the few things I’m certain of, so naturally it has video game elements. Story, gameplay, characters, some vague semblance of doing something. If someone asked me to describe how well it did any of those things, it’d probably go something like this: “The story was fucking garbage, there was one good character that they killed halfway through, there was like one good mission in the entire game, and the gameplay was passable for a first person shooter”.  So then what the fuck, why is it this high up? I don’t know, but for some reason I kept playing this god damn game at least once every year for the past few years. Even though I had to use uPlay, even though the characters are unlikable as fuck, even though the story feels like it was written in one night long bender including some combination of Vodka and Red Bull that probably resulted with at least one person in the hospital, I kept playing this fucking game. And I think I might have figured out why, it’s just fucking stupid. There are very few games I would consider a “survival” game where it doesn’t actually have survival elements, and Far Cry 3 is one of them. The entire map itself wants you dead honestly. Including a cast of tigers, giant birds, pirates, bears, giant cliffs, and sharks, there’s no safe place on the map. Getting from one end of the map to the other will include at least one fight, no matter what you do. The game gives you the stupidest tools I can think of to get you across the map. There’s literally no reason for them to give you a flare gun, but they do because why not. A wingsuit? You get that shit like, 60% of the way through the game, and that last 40% is mostly me fucking around with the added mobility they should’ve given me from the start.  I fucking hate this game so much, purely because I enjoy it more than this game has the right to make someone enjoy. I give it a 4/10. If someone asked me of any good survival games, I would recommend something else then remember Far Cry 3 a couple hours later when taking a shower. Then I would probably play it myself, because it’s the guiltiest of pleasures.

Number 9: BioShock (August 21st, 2007), aka I never said all the games came out this decade, I just said I played them. BioShock is one of those games people consider a “masterpiece”. It’s got an amazing story, revolutionary gameplay, fantastic characters. I may agree with that, but that’s not why it’s here. I bought this game and for the following three days I stayed up playing it from 8 PM to 7 AM because I kept getting so fixed into the game that I lost my passage of time. If that’s not top 10 material I don’t know what the fuck is. BioShock is a 9/10 game, play it if you know you’re not doing anything for the next 3 days because you probably won’t realize how long you’ve been playing it. Also it’s actually pretty scary sometimes, so be warned.

Number 8: Mount and Blade: Warband (March 30, 2010), aka the game where I said I was going to take over the entire map then spent 60 hours getting 33% of the way through that goal. Mount and Blade: Warband is a perfectly accurate simulation of the days under the feudal system, because everything takes 8 years to fucking happen. Travelling across the map takes minutes at a time, battles take minutes, starting a castle’s siege takes 3 in-game days, then the siege itself takes anywhere from 10 real life minutes to an hour based on how mean the game is feeling. Do I dislike this? No, not at all, I love how large scale this game. As a matter of fact, it’s one of the largest scale games I’ve played ever. Battles can have hundreds of troops at a time, the world is dominated by kingdoms with actual politics, there are hundreds of named NPCs in the game almost every single one of which you can fight or ally with. It’s fucking insane. Mount and Blade: Warband gets an 8/10 from me, it’s not at all for everyone but it’s certainly for me.

Number 7: Resident Evil 4 (January 11, 2005), aka “wait the same person that played Leon Scott Kennedy also voiced the Merchant?” I don’t think I have anything new to say about Resident Evil 4, so I’m not really going to bother trying to critique this game. I will say I beat it at least 4 or 5 times throughout the decade, having only owned it for a few years, and that I also played it with my significant other during that time and after that they bought it to play it themselves. The only other thing I feel worth mentioning is god damn did they make Leon Scott Kennedy fucking THICC. You may think the artillery are the guns you’re carrying around anymore, but nah, them cheeks could fucking fracture a skull. Resident Evil 4 gets an 8/10 from me, I would buy it at a high price. Also I love Ada Wong.

Number 6: Danganronpa Another Episode: Ultra Despair Girls (September 25th, 2014), aka the reason I would never recommend somebody to follow me on this fucking website. Danganronpa is by far, the best series I’ve ever seen have so many crippling flaws in it. Thankfully, Ultra Despair Girls manages to avoid those flaws by being just straight up a different game entirely. Most of Danganronpa’s flaws comes from how many characters they have. Ultra Despair Girls manages to fix that by not having as many characters, but expanding heavily on the characters that it does have. The motherfuckers literally made the hyperactive serial killer my favorite character in fiction, I don’t know what y’all expect of me at this point. Also, the game manages to have gameplay that is actually suited for someone such as myself. I absolutely adore the class trials in Danganronpa, but visual novels aren’t my thing most of the time. Danganronpa is certainly an exception, but Ultra Despair Girls’s third person shooter gameplay holds my attention like a vice, that shit was made for me. Danganronpa Another Episode: Ultra Despair Girls gets a 7/10 from me, it’s certainly not the best game but god damn if it didn’t ruin me.

NOW ENTERING, THE LARGE LADS, WHERE RANKING MATTERS

Number 5: Plants vs. Zombies (May 5, 2009), aka the sentiment from the memories I have playing it is enough to put it on here. I played Plants vs. Zombies one time in the past decade, and that was just last year. But, I played it with my significant other while I was in England visiting them. We bought it for 1 pound from a game store, and played it almost every. single. day. after we bought it. We beat the main story at least three times, and one of those times I played. Honestly, it’s still a really fucking fun game, and I wouldn’t go back and change a second of the time I played it. Plants vs. Zombies gets a 9/10 from me, it’s an incredibly polished game and the memories I have of it means it’ll hold a special place in my heart for a long time to come.

Number 4: Fallout: New Vegas (October 19, 2010), aka 234 hours of my life I will never get back. Fallout: New Vegas is a special experience that I’m certain will never have a replacement. It’s reached a place in my mind where if I ever want to experience a game like it again, there is no “other game” to go to, I just go back to New Vegas and play through it all again. I give Fallout: New Vegas an 8/10, it’s incredibly buggy, but I’ll never be able to escape its grasp.

Number 3: The Outer Worlds (October 25th, 2019), aka wait there’s another Fallout: New Vegas, damn that’s rad The Outer Worlds was introduced to me through this trailer, upon which everyone was hyping it up. The game was made by the developers of Fallout: New Vegas, it looked like it had way more polish, and it was a space adventure. So naturally, with all of these positives, I was fucking horrified at what we were going to get. I was so unbelievably afraid that Obsidian was going to release the game and it was going to be bad. Well, I bought it a couple weeks after release, and let me tell you what the days after were like: BioShock, it was fucking BioShock again, god DAMMIT. The Outer Worlds is a fun, amazingly written, anti-corporation, fuck you Bethesda, space adventuring, really fucking fun game. I’m pretty sure I did almost every side quest, only missing on a couple companion quests, and I did everything I could to get the ending I sought after the most. I wanted nothing more than to topple the Capitalist Assholes, so I did. Not only did the game let me do that, but it has LGBTQ+ characters, and holy shit are some of them comparable to the UV Rays the sun is trying to fucking end me with.  The Outer Worlds receives a 9/10 from me, and I should play it again.

Number 2: Fallout 2 (September 30th, 1998), aka wow this game is the most dated piece of media, can I play it forever? I honestly have no fucking clue why I fell so in love with Fallout 2. It’s got some real problematic elements, homophobic NPCs, some of the worst parts of society, literal slavers? Literal slavers? But for some reason, I’m happy playing a game with them, because there is almost no consequence to just wiping them the fuck out. Every time I play through this game, it’s just routine for me to kill the slavers, the drug producers, the Scientologists. It’s like, the most selective experience ever, I could probably do quests for these people, but nah, I wipe them out and the game just stands there with its hands in its pockets not saying a word. It doesn’t try to stop me, it doesn’t give me some stupid negative trait for what I did. So long as I survive the encounter, I’m free to just move on with my day. On top of that, it’s also got amazing characters, and an amazing story. You can tell the story’s amazing, because in Fallout 3 Bethesda tried to do it again, and failed miserably. Fallout 2 gets an 8/10 from me, it’s a buggy piece of shit, but with a mod that fixes it it’s a way for me to spend another 90 hours.

Number 1: OneShot (December 8th, 2016), aka the best video game experience. OneShot is one of those special game experiences where I have nothing that I dislike about it. The main character is one of my favorite characters ever, they are an absolute baby. Every other character in the game is likable, as well. I have honest to god tried to come up with something I dislike about OneShot and I just can’t think of it. I may not replay it multiple times, but I don’t need to. I’m so in love with OneShot, I don’t need to play it multiple times. As a matter of fact, I don’t need to play it. I don’t own OneShot, my significant other does, they bought it at my recommendation. OneShot will never stop being one of the most special experiences to me.  OneShot is a 10/10 game, and I genuinely, with all my heart, recommend anyone who has even slightly similar tastes to me to play it. It’s one of the most lovable games in gaming, has exclusively likable characters, and I will always adore Niko from it.

[miazeklos]

I can’t believe I’m doing this for the last time. I also can’t believe this is the second show I’ve had to say goodbye to in the last fortnight alone. But, let’s do this.

Overall, I understand why they did this the way they did. It was a fresh start. I know everyone kept saying that this Council + King arrangement would be random as fuсk and while it is suspiciously full of people we’ve known over the seasons, it’s still better than having people we don’t care about on there and these are also people who, apart from Tyrion, haven’t been in power before - not this scale of power, at least. I suppose it’s the closest they could have to “””breaking the wheel””” while also showing that a lot of the ruling class was still woefully incapable of overnight change, even if it’s for the better (see: the reaction to Sam’s democracy suggestion).

For the characters who made it (the grand total of 10 of them who were series regulars), this was a good ending, or at least, an acceptable one. For the ones who did not make it... wait, there was only one death in this episode, wasn’t there? Must be some kind of record.

It was inevitable, I suppose, at least after the last two episodes. It was also too quick, it should have been developed over a longer period of time if they were always going to go there (and it feels increasingly like that the more I see people’s reactions, to be honest, as much as I don’t feel like admitting it). All I was hoping for was for it to be dignified and for the ending to be as fast and as gentle as possible. Guess I got what I wanted. I’m not satisfied, but I was never going to be - not with this - and frankly, that’s just how I felt and no one ever needed to indulge me, so. Thanks for making it quick, at least.

I’m glad the Throne was destroyed for too many reasons to count and the way the power seemed to shift in meaning in purpose was well done. It opens a window into a brighter future without dealing with any of the setbacks that will inevitably rise, which, given the penchant for the political that the writers have, is a surprise. Guess they wanted to restrain themselves a bit for the sake of a hopeful outlook, which is a welcome outlier for them.

As an ending, let’s check on the three-ish remaining houses who were given at least half a wrap-up, shall we?

House Lannister - Tyrion’s opening scene broke my heart and I’m really really glad he, at least, made it. The Lannisters live and die as they always have, i.e. start fights that someone else carries out and then mostly remove themselves from responsibility while they stop making the mistakes of the past and start making the exact same mistakes of today. Thanks for the representation now that your mildly worse siblings are gone, Tyrion, I appreciate it.

House Stark - the house of ‘got what they wanted, I guess’. Bran didn’t want to be king but knew someone had to. Sansa did want to be queen but she’s alone and although, as someone pointed out, Jon is essentially in her backyard, he’s going farther North, it seems, so she’s on her own. I was actually most satisfied with Arya’s ending. After many seasons of Things That Are Not Her, this seemed to click. Loved her goodbye with Jon.

House Targaryen - I already talked about this above, but my only real complaint now that I’ve gone through the five stages of grief over Dany’s plot like fifteen different times is that they decided to make her a borderline dictator at the end. Sure, they can live in my new world or die in their old one was thing, but it still felt very on the nose. Still, it’s vastly better for her to be written as ruthless in her grief - and it’s an endless grief, after everything that happened - instead of just going mad. At least that’s how I read it. Don’t get me wrong, I am devastated over this, but I’m also just... it’s difficult to explain. I expected the worst. Instead, the behaviour they gave her at the end felt very true to her despite everything. Jon... I felt frustrated with his ending, to be honest, and I think that was the point. There was no going back from ‘you’re my queen and always will be’; he was never going to be someone else’s subject. He was never going to rule in his own right either and instead this vague lack of clear endgame for him feels fitting.

The Small Council - Another thing I talked about, but I do approve of them, really. As previously mentioned, these aren’t people who’ve ever had a whole lot of power so they aren’t numb to what they’re doing and all of them know what it’s like to be on the other side of those castle walls and what they can do to make it better. (Really, iirc they’re all either smallfolk or, like Sam, have been through A Lot. Of course, apart from Tyrion and Brienne, the former of which is doing what he knows best and the latter of which is doing what she actually wanted, which, given this finale, is Rare. I was very satisfied with both their endings; they’re close to my heart and it’s exactly what I imagined.

The show itself - like I said, I enjoyed the relatively open ending of ‘wonder what happens next; looks like it might just be good this time around’. It did give me some peace and, given everything else about this finale, I was grateful for that; for all the ways this can still be expanded through imagination. It’s the one thing I’ve always loved about this show, how many possibilities it gives a fan, and it did deliver this time too. The entire cast and crew did an amazing job consistently and I’m beyond grateful for that as well. Some of its characters have helped me push through some of the toughest moments of my life and I’ve, ironically, found more strength in them than I had ever expected because everything was loaded enough with meaning to spark discussions, debates, stories and entire friendships.

Thank you, Game of Thrones, for keeping me on the edge of my seat for three lovely years. You’ll always be in my heart, my blog and, as it seems, my AO3 account. Thank you.

[proheromidoriyashouto]

Quirkless Hero!Deku and Artist/Youtuber!Shouto AU expansion

Shouto was expelled from the Hero Course by Aizawa after the Sports Festival for his refusal to use all his might (neglecting half his quirk) when the chips are down. Shouto went to General Studies and after some serious introspection post-Hosu (he was dragged along by Ende*vore to do grunt work as punishment and happened to come across Tenya and an Idaten intern he didn't know facing off against Stain) began to find solace in art and writing classes and decided to take his life into his own hands.

Shouto started a gaming channel because Ochako- while introducing him to Super Smash Bros Ultimate- noted that he has a nice voice and he likes the story-telling capabilities of games, so why not? What does he have to lose? His striking appearance and slight fame will surely garner him a boost in viewership early on, and they do.

He initially has to run the channel from Tenya's home since Ende*vore would never allow it. He starts off playing multiplayer games because those are what his friends introduce him to so they can play together, but he inevitably shifts toward single-player games that devote quite a lot of time into compelling story campaigns and exploration. His first delves are into Horizon: Zero Dawn, God of War, the Fallout series, Portal 1 & 2, the Witcher series, and the Last of Us since these are the most prominent games at the time (remakes of games in 22XX tend to release in the same year and order the originals did to get the most playtime out of fans). He’s not good at it to start. He reads from a script and he’s stiff and uncomfortable in front of the camera. He thought he was desensitized to that given his time in the limelight thanks to his name but there’s something about talking to a small webcam that feels, well, silly, and... intense. Personal. It’s a serious detractor, and the comments he receives about it are almost enough to shut down the channel for good. His friends’ support gets him through though and he starts to develop a considerable following.

Before he realizes, he’s spending all his free time playing games with purpose, creating new videos on a nearly daily basis, brainstorming how to structure  theory and lore episodes, and worrying about how his uploads are perceived. He runs charity live streams, plays fan-picked hero games, scours every last hint of lore from side-quests, get those sweet sweet completionist Platinum trophies that only like 1% of players get for every game.

Ende*vore cuts him off from his money, and inheritance. Shouto tentatively starts support pages and is surprised by the number of people willing to shell out for him. He starts to really feel the burn-out as he struggles to create more video content for awards before Momo suggests making things. Real, physical things for awards that will give him a break for the grind, and that he can use to improve his art skills. He smacks himself when he realizes that he can also use art as a way of re-connecting with his mother.

Visits at the hospital become days spent drawing, painting, sculpting, and knitting. His mother shocks him in a display of lace-making and he feels a pang of grief when he learns that it was a tradition in her family that she hadn’t been able to pass down to him. She’d taught Fuyumi and Touya a bit but Ende*vore found out and put a stop to it, saying that his legacy was the only one they needed to concern themselves with. She was too afraid of the harm her husband would bring upon the children if she tried again with Natsuo and Shouto. After hearing that there’s nothing more Shouto wants to learn (lace-crafts are his awards for months, and then on occasion for years to come).

His channel, SpicyHeathenGaming, steadily grows over the years and once he graduates from U.A., he devotes himself entirely to running it. By the time he has the formal encounter with Deku, he has millions of subscribers and has become quite comfortable in the public persona he’d crafted (it’s easy to slip into given his natural penchant for straight-man-esque dry humor). He’s almost 25, successful in a precarious field, and... happy. Genuinely at peace. There are days when he misses the rush of a fight, the satisfaction of post-rescue, and on bad days, he thinks of all the people he never saved. He schedules an appointment with his therapist and moves on.

Deku is the one to note that the Day They Met wasn’t at the construction site as he thought, but during the battle of Stain vs Team Idaten Round 2 (and U.A. Students) as the media has labelled it. Shouto is shocked but not for long. The similarities to his then-Idaten costume are prevalent in Deku’s short white mask, midnight leg guards, and heavy black soles but the rest is substantially changed. He’s vaguely reminiscent of a teal/aqua All Might- especially with his cowl on- rather than the Ingenium line now.

He’d become infamous for becoming a hero “the old fashioned way“ through interning and shadowing directly with Pros for years, foregoing hero-high school altogether.

While none of the schools outright forbid quirkless students from applying, Deku had said in his debut press conference, despite passing Ketsubutsu, Shiketsu, and U.A.’s entrance exams, I was denied admittance. They all said something to the effect of ‘I had a “weak constitution”’, ‘my “supposed passion” had been deemed insufficient hot air,’ and ‘my “heroic spirit” wouldn’t be enough to match the rigor of a top-rated hero-course’s training.’ A good friend of mine, Tenya Iida, had been at the same U.A. entrance exam as myself and after learning about my struggles put in a word for me with his family. I didn’t ask for a handout, but when the legitimate options are not truly available to you, what choice even is there? I wasn’t going to turn down the one chance I had left. Team Idaten was good to me and I wouldn’t be the man I’ve become if not for them. In all honesty, Deku shrugged, an almost apologetic look on his face, almost. I was starting to fall into a pretty dark place. I might have become a villain.

Deku had faced ire from Pros, alumni and non-alumni from the schools alike for those remarks, and public opinion had been torn between disdain for slandering the institutions of hero education or support for him having become a hero despite all the odds against him- a true, old-school origin story. All Might had surprised many by showing Deku support, and many U.A.-borne Pros had followed in his example. Ketsubutsu and Shiketsu had not been nearly as kind, with few exceptions. Deku’s rivalries with Dynamic Blitz (one-sided feud in reality), Magnitude, Cloudburst, and Sideburn Tress were almost as well-known as All Might and Endeavor back when they were heroes.

Deku was a world-wide icon for the roughly 2 billion quirkless people in existence, only one of a hand-full of quirkless Pros throughout the world since the dawn of quirks, and the first ever in Japan’s history. He was leagues above Shouto. Shouldn’t have paid him any more mind than any other civilian he’d saved. If not for Shouto’s disastrous inability to handle situations like anything resembling a normal person. He’d seen a strong, handsome, trend-setting, status-quo defying, internationally known hero up close in person, who not only recognized him for his channel but his private art blog and shop, reaching toward his evidently panicking self and had activated his right side as though it was the neglected half, and frozen their hands together.

He’d made a fucking fool of himself... but still... wound up with a number in his pocket and a wink emoji. He never got such lascivious flirting sent his way. Curses, that wink emoji. Not with his scar and eye-straining coloration and lack of proper skin and hair care. No way. What if Deku winked at him in real life? In public? Scandalous. What was he going to do?

Fuyumi. Tenya, help me.

Um, sure?

With what?

...kill me.

-Shou-!

W-why would you-!!

Please, just, vaporize me right now, I’m staring at the moon just take me by surprise, I’m begging you. Actually call Aoyama I have money.

Little brother! What’s brought this on?

That’s not an explanation! If you need help-

I... I have a date.

(Shouto is verrrr out of practice with his powers and dating and is a complete disaster gay. Izuku’s kinda suave and you can thank Tensei’s Big Brother Influence for that. Izuku saved Eri and Kouta okay I promise I have an explanation. All Might was a dick and never found Izuku to apologize. Izuku’s kinda bitter about it but he’s living his best life so :///////. OFA? Never met her. Mirio would be OFA’s 9th in this AU after losing Permeation. Will expand into a proper fic and post to AO3 when its done- I already have too many AUs at once going on.

Population estimates put humans stabilizing at about 11 billion in the 2200s - BNHA was already in modern day when quirks came and its been 200 years since then as per canon- and 20% of the population is slightly more than 2 billion. 2 billion quirkless people.

Dynamic Blitz is that motherfucker. You know who Magnitude and Cloudburst are~. Three guess as to Sideburn Tress’ identity. He wasn’t outwardly hostile but something about him set off red-flags for me. Also strikes me as having a lot of school pride.)