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turtletaubwrites · 2 days ago

Text

Numbers Game ~ Chapter 36

Maybe I Have Gone Mad

Pairings: Cross Guild Polycule x Shanks x Fem!Reader x ???

Numbers Game Masterlist

Word Count: 7.3k+

Ao3 Link

Ongoing Series Playlist: Youtube Music Link | Youtube Link

Chapter Tunes: Arrow Pierce My Heart ~ The Bonnevilles | Rabbit Hole ~ Why Mona

Summary: Your first date with the first born prince leads you to a hint of hope, yet it's hard not to focus on the first man that stole your heart. The Cross Guild tries not to fall through a hole in the world while the Emperor tries to be a villain. All they can do is hope that they're not too late to chase their little rabbit.

Ch. 35 Recap: Detailed recap is directly below the cut!

Author's Note: Hi! I miss y'all so much, I hope I can come back more regularly soon. I'm okay! Thank you for all the love and interactions even when I'm in hardcore hermit mode, I adore you so much! 🥰🙏

Dark Content Warning: I haven't marked any untagged dark content for this chapter. Hopefully I didn't miss anything big for you, but I will say that Iceburg is showing up more, so be prepared for reader's conflicting feelings for her first crush/hunter.

Also, I hope everyone remembers the tag/warning: Cross Guild Boys are VILLAINS. It’s been there since day one, so 🤷‍♀️

Alternate POV Symbols:

!!! SPOILER WARNING !!! Fic currently contains spoilers for up to chapter 1064 or episode 1093. As we get further into Egghead Arc where our lovely boys are showing up more, there will be more spoilers as time goes on. Sorry y'all, I'm trying to keep most spoilers small details, but Cross Guild is endgame, lol.

Rating/Warnings: Author May Choose to Exclude some Warnings to Avoid Spoilers for Certain Chapters, Explicit Sexual Content, 18+ ONLY, MDNI, AFAB!Reader, She/Her Pronouns for Reader, Reader-Insert, Use of Y/N, Dark Content, Blood & Violence, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Dissociation, Mental Illness, Grief, Hospitals, Doctors, Mental Health Treatment, Toxic Family, Childhood Trauma, Swearing, Alcohol, Cigars, Smut, Fluff, Angst, Guilt, Drama, Jealousy, Manipulation, Pet Names, Power Imbalance, Cross Guild boys are VILLAINS, Possessive Behavior, Teasing, Threats, Relationship Drama, Inappropriate Use of Akuma no Mi | Devil Fruit Powers, Shameless Shameless Smut, Uncle Cedrick Has Become His Own Warning, Death of an Unnamed Character, Other Additional Tags to Be Added

Chapter 35 ~ Recap:

Buggy dealt with guilt and fear over keeping your lie a secret. He watched Crocodile and Mihawk falling apart without their Numbers Girl, and decided not to tell them what you said to your sister: that you "never wanted to see those murderers, those monsters again."

Crocodile kept watching his sweet girl's worst memories while his old agents sailed closer. He saw a memory of you practicing speaking with a transponder snail in the asylum, but crumbling when your uncle called, taunting you by saying that your sister was sailing during storm season. Crocodile held onto his little clown while all of his lovers fell to pieces, and realized that he didn't care if they lied. He just wanted them back.

Mihawk fought to stay hopeful while he hunted for answers, but he kept finding reasons to be a monster while he followed the trail of underground casinos, and people that were using your pain for their pleasure and their pockets.

Shanks struggled, every move he made seeming to push you further away. He couldn't speak openly on this snail-covered island, but he wouldn't stop fighting for you.

You were trying to be numb, trying not to feel anything, but Uncle Cedrick kept tearing you down. You drank through your date with Giberson, then broke his arrow at Cedrick's command. You decided to enjoy your time as much as you could, but couldn't help thinking about the upcoming date with your first crush, Mr. Iceburg.

But that was tomorrow. Today, you were flown into a tower of roses with the first born Vinsmoke prince. Your old trauma snuck out when his brother almost hurt a surveillance snail, but now your date with Ichiji was about to begin.

You told yourself "that nothing mattered, so you might as well enjoy this."

Chapter 36 ~ Maybe I Have Gone Mad

~~~🔴🔴🔴~~~

“Oh my, it seems you’ve drained my pockets dry,” The Concealer chuckled, pushing the last of his chips toward Shanks’ pile. “And before our lucky lady has even emerged from her tower.”

The Emperor of the Sea gritted his teeth at the reminder of the distant image on the projector screen. Y/N had been flown into a tower of pretty thorns while the leeches around him placed bets on which of the three brothers she’d choose to keep, if her ugly dress would still be intact when they freed her from the roses, or if she’d be crying for mercy from that inhuman prince’s inhuman cock.

Y/N’s mask had shattered for just a moment, but the terror in her scream meant nothing to her guests. His wealthy companions had only praised or laughed at her for her concern for the cam-snail, most of them just lamenting that she hadn’t kept it with her in that cage of thorns.

“Mind accompanying an old man to his quarters,” Giberson interrupted his inner rage with a cheerful wink. “I need to restock my funds so I can keep filling your pockets.”

Shanks wanted to carry the old man to get out of that room before he snapped and nearly spat at the staff that stopped him from leaving the mound of chips he’d won.

“I’ll watch your winnings, chief,” Benn grinned, nudging him toward the ex-suitor that was hobbling out. “So long as you don’t mind buying me, and my new friend a drink?”

“Better be some left when I come back,” he forced a laugh, sparing just a glance toward the young woman his first mate had charmed into sitting on his lap. Benn had always been skilled at enjoying himself while he gathered information.

At least someone was having a good time here.

~~~🔴~~~

“Come on in, my boy,” Giberson welcomed, ushering Shanks into his opulent suite. “Care for a drink before you rob me of all my berry?”

“How could I refuse?”

Shanks’ body was burning with tension, his prey within his sights.

The old man set his tall hat onto the coffee table after pouring them each a glass, leaving Shanks to wait with the liquor in his hand. The great pirate was shaking.

Pull it together, shithead.

The tiny smile his thought had given him dropped in confusion when Giberson pulled out a small, horned snail from the inside of that large hat.

“Why– “

The Emperor of the Underworld tapped a bony finger over his lips, gesturing toward the snail until its eyes turned red.

The silent humming of surveillance that had become a constant itch faded away while the red-eyed creature swayed.

“A jamming snail,” Shanks breathed, tapping glasses with the smirking, old man.

“Congratulations, my boy. I really thought it would be Katakuri or Iceburg, but I was so hoping it would be you.”

Shanks couldn’t read his intentions, so he just sipped his drink.

“The mighty Red Haired Shanks is still cautious, eh,” Giberson laughed, clapping him on the shoulder as though he had no sense of caution himself. “That’s probably how you got to be so mighty. Don’t worry, I’ll answer any questions you have, and my little friend will keep our words quiet. Although, with all the surveillance here, my pet might not be able to hold up for too long. Best get started.”

“But why,” Shanks trailed off, fighting to wake himself up and get to work. It can’t be this easy…

“That lovely heiress would never pick an old ghost like me,” Giberson chuckled. He topped them both off before leaning back, eyeing Shanks with a satisfied grin. “I came to play the game, and I knew that whichever hunter found me first would be the one most determined to win. I may not have luck with cards, but I always bet on the winning horse. You really want to win that little bunny, don’t you, Shanks?”

The snail blinked slowly, and the Emperor of the Sea remembered that he had to breathe, had to fix this.

“Tell me about the Vinsmokes— wait,” he sputtered after he swallowed his liquor too fast, the rye whiskey burning his lips while he wasted more precious time. “Why did you think it would be Katakuri or Iceburg?”

Giberson’s patronizing laughter took too fucking long, but he cut Shanks off before he could hurry him up.

“You haven’t been paying attention, have you,” the Concealer chided. Topping off their drinks was the only thing that kept violence from tearing through the room. “Just wait. I’m sure our little doe is having fun with the young buck tonight, but you should be more worried about the older competition. Especially the one that she’s admired for so long.”

“Aren’t we on borrowed time, Gibby?” Shanks’ smile seemed to chafe his own lips. “Don’t you wanna give your chosen horse a fighting chance?”

“Too right you are,” he laughed, wiggling a finger in the air to scold himself. “The older you get, the more you like to hear yourself talk, I’m afraid, but let’s get on with it. You may be an emperor, but you’re going to need all the help you can get if you want to compete with that gentle giant, and the lady’s first crush.”

Shanks needed all the help he could get.

~~~🔴🔴🔴~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

The handsome prince sat close enough to you to still watch your face, your breath, while trailing his hand along your back. Your heavy gown added to the building warmth in the dimly lit tower of roses he’d trapped you in.

Ichiji had eaten from the same serving plates, so you had filled your own, fighting off sleepiness while you sipped the cool champagne.

“So, it’s true that you worked at a bank, huh,” he purred. You fought to focus on his handsome face, and not the same old small talk you always hated.

“Mhm,” you nodded, nearly blowing out the pretty candle on the table, tired of its dancing light. “I know it was a unique hobby— “

“Vinsmokes aren’t useless royals, you know.” He pulled you toward his gaze with gentle fingers on your chin, pausing to stare at your parted lips before continuing. “If you enjoy being useful, I’m sure we can find responsibilities for you in our kingdom. It takes a lot of math to craft our tech.”

You couldn’t risk these feelings, couldn’t humor the slivers of hope for a decent life that you kept stumbling upon. All you could do was try to enjoy the ride and land in the softest place.

Kat wanted to see their tech… Maybe—

“But I wouldn’t mind pampering you if that’s what you’d prefer,” Ichiji teased along your cheek.

You’d gone still too long while you hoped for a less shitty existence, but it didn’t matter.

“My princess,” he seemed to beg, kissing down your neck before pulling away. That word had always pissed you off. It wasn’t true, whether it was said with love or disdain.

He pulled his glasses off, shoving red hair from his face to stare down at you. “Just tell me what you want, gorgeous. Anything… Do you wanna stop?”

“Why pick just one,” you breathed, watching confusion move those strangely cute eyebrows of his. Blowing out the candle instead of answering his questioning sound, you let yourself enjoy everything the moment had to give. “What if I’d like to be useful and pampered?”

You were glad for the other lights in the dim tower, because the hungry flare in his eyes when you kissed the inside of his wrist was delicious. The red-haired prince was shaking, nearly panting, and his need might have been frightening if you still gave a fuck about anything besides going numb.

“Can I please pamper you, princess,” Ichiji begged, his fingers gripping into your thick skirts. A puppy struggling to obey while it waited to snatch up its treat.

That word might be growing on you.

“Yes, please—Oh, Ichiji!”

The prince shoved the table away, dishes crashing to the ground along with that luckily blown out candle. He knelt at your feet, and you almost regretted your choice as the need in his eyes seemed violent. The tightening of your body only reminded you of how fucked up you were.

“You’re gonna look so pretty on a throne,” Ichiji threatened. His hands felt too strong when they lifted your dress, yanking your panties down your legs. He tucked them into his pocket, and you smirked, about to tease the desperate prince.

You couldn’t smirk, or tease, or do anything but moan and let your eyes roll back when his fingers found you dripping. He teased over you, circling your clit before shoving one, then two fingers in, curling, taking.

“Fuck, you’re so wet,” the prince panted while he made you twitch. “I didn’t think you’d be so… You fucking want this, don’t you?”

You reached for his hair, wanting to be sure you were seeing him right. The prince looked more wrecked than you were.

“Ichiji,” you whined, coming when he brought his other hand to tease your clit, coming while he moaned along with you. His body thrust toward yours from where he knelt on the floor, but he managed to keep pampering you with his fingers while his eyes rolled back.

“Mm, Ichiji, that felt so good.”

The air that had been too hot went cold as the prince pulled away. His jaw was clenched, a tension in his body that made you still, until you remembered.

“That was so fucking hot,” you purred, trailing your hands along your thighs, and his eyes couldn’t seem to resist the pull.

“Yeah, princess,” he asked as he cleared his throat, still holding himself away.

“Yes,” you bit your lip. You hoped you were reading this prince well. “I love that you came just from touching me. You really liked making me feel good?”

A hint of a snarl touched his lips.

Fuck. Don’t be mad. Don’t—

“Does my princess want more,” Ichiji growled, and your body went loose with relief and delicious want.

Your breathy, ‘yes,’ left you squealing when that hungry prince launched himself at you. His red hair disappeared beneath that stupid dress, and you cursed the bells that rang closer and closer while he left sloppy, then focused kisses and licks along your core. You felt him whine around your clit before he pulled away, and the sight of him licking his fucking lips had you beaming at him.

“We’re gonna finish this later, right, gorgeous,” he teased, pointlessly smoothing your skirts into place.

“What would a princess say?”

“My princess can say whatever she wants,” Ichiji promised, his sticky clothes covered by his raid suit again, and soon you were carried through the circle of thorns toward his waiting brothers. They flanked him again, but you didn’t hear their light bickering now.

The wind teased your flushed skin, and he let you touch the top of another tree before you were brought back down. Down to reality, where you still had to think, instead of letting a handsome prince, or the lovely wind whisk you away. Daydreams of flying free brought a soft smile to your face while they kissed your hands, until you were stuffed into another fluffy robe and dragged back to your less-pretty cage.

~~~🌲~~~

Kat was waiting, letting out a soft sigh after she barked at the servants to leave you with her. The worry returned, but your sister started humming softly while she helped you out of that ugly gown, and you couldn’t believe what you were seeing.

“Are you… happy?”

“Shut the fuck up,” she ordered, but there was something in her narrowed eyes that woke you up. “I am capable of happiness, you know.”

Snorting earned you a scowl, but you’d seen it. All you needed.

“But I won’t be happy again until you are,” Kat declared, the words stated as a fact, like she was merely reciting the time.

Her voice said it so clearly, but her eyes held just a hint. Only a sister could have seen the light there.

The hope.

“So, how was your date?”

She frowned at your reaching hand, but didn’t stop you from snagging the lovely clue from her sweater.

“How was yours,” you teased, holding it up to the light. She made so many faces so quickly that you laughed, until she snatched it from you.

A strand of pretty, pink hair.

“It wasn’t a date, it’s not like that,” Kat lied, but you let her.

Your sister had never talked to you about that before, but you had come out to her ages ago. If she wasn’t ready, then you wouldn’t push her. You’d try really hard not to push her.

“Gods, you’re still annoying,” she sighed at the grin you couldn’t wipe off your face. “There’s not a lot for sisters of the stars to do, so we’ve been hanging out. We might be sister-in-law’s soon anyway.”

“Hanging out pretty close, huh,” you smirked, flicking your eyes toward the pink hair on her lap. She wiped it away to drift toward the plush carpet.

“Reiju didn’t have a spare set, alright,” Kat explained, anger barely covering the like quirk to her lips. “I told her I wanted to hover, so she flew me around for a bit. It was— “

“Fucking awesome, right,” you laughed, reaching for her hands now.

“I told you,” Kat gave in, matching your true smile now. “Unless someone else has hover boots, the Vinsmokes are my number one choice. Unless you really like someone else, I guess.”

“Well, I have three to choose from, so they’ve got a forty two point— “

“You fucking nerd!”

This wasn’t numb.

You hadn’t felt this feeling in years, and it was more than you deserved.

This moment felt like connection, like you were being a real sister to her.

It was fucking stupid. Naïve.

You couldn’t risk feeling happy or hopeful for either of you, just fight for the least shitty option. Weigh the pros and cons.

But if you could keep Kat safe, and give her a chance to be genuinely happy, then you’d slaughter every fucking person on this island to do it.

“Go take a shower, nerd,” she ordered, breathless from tackling you. “Your hair looks fucking stupid.”

~~~🌲~~~

No fucking favorites.

Mr. Iceburg…

You had shoved him out of your mind as much as you could, but waking up to the prospect of his undivided attention this evening reminded you of how sweet and soft obsession could feel. You had always wanted him.

Nothing matters anyway. If he is a monster, I can kill him too.

After.

~~~🌲~~~

You’d never been happier to be scowled at.

Kat sat across from you at breakfast, neither of you paying attention to the drivel that Uncle Cedrick and Vinsmoke Judge kept spoon-feeding each other. The other brothers were competition, so they weren’t invited. This left you with the eldest brother purring along your neck all morning, his constant praise and promises nearly becoming background noise.

Ichiji’s affection just couldn’t compete with the sisterly delight you felt watching Kat squirm beside the beautiful Vinsmoke princess.

The grace that Reiju held herself with was dreamy, somehow weightless, even without her hover boots. She’d shrugged off her red cape, but her pink hair seemed to sway in its place each time she moved, dancing along the high collar of her white dress. It seemed mimic the frilled shirts her brothers wore but hugged her body all the way down to her thighs. You couldn’t see them below the table now, but Reiju’s lovely thighs each held a large tattoo of the number six.

Reiju flaunted those numbers that sent fear through their enemies.

Germa 66. The conquering kingdom. This stunning woman came from a family that was said to be superhuman, vicious, evil.

Your sister had hardly touched her plate, too busy watching the possibly evil princess’ every move.

Bad guys aren’t always so bad…

“So, Y/N,” Reiju hummed, her fingers playing along the side of her empty glass, “you were a pirate, weren’t you? That seems like a lot more fun than— “

“Kidnapped by pirates,” your uncle corrected, not seeming to care if she believed him while he went back to glowing at his new “friend.”

“That could still be fun,” she winked at you before turning her gorgeous, violet eyes toward your sister. “What do you think, Kat? Would you rather have a pirate or a prince?”

Your sister glanced toward Uncle Cedrick, but he was too busy laughing at his own joke.

“Are those my only options,” Kat asked. Her voice was quiet but held enough of a flirtatious lilt that you had to look away to keep from cheering her on.

“Let’s hope not,” Reiju chuckled, and you let Ichiji distract you now, giving as much space as you could.

~~~🌲~~~

Another hunt was about to begin, and the locket didn’t fit the theme. You managed to shove it into the tight, striped dress before endless hands pulled and prodded at your skin, your hair, and your fucking sanity.

Regretting the question before it left your lips, you reminded yourself that these people were just trying to survive. They weren’t leeches, just tools and toys for the rich to control so they could keep living their pampered lives.

That was hard to remember while the servants dressed you up like a lamb to slaughter, but everything went back to him. Uncle Cedrick would never let you go. You would never be free from his games.

“Why are you painting stripes...”

Fuck. That fucking asshole.

“It’s part of today’s game,” your mother cooed. You were surprised that her perfect smile hadn’t shattered the mirror.

“Today’s hunt,” your corrected, daring her to falter, to let that mask fall just a bit.

That smile of hers grew sharper and a small part of you wondered what words she had swallowed down. The rest of you was fighting not to scream and claw at the servants that were painting lines across your chest to match that red and white dress. Those stripes were curved around a center point, a lovely, red heart painted over where your real heart was pounding with rage.

Don’t show it. Don’t let it in.

Sick laughter almost escaped, but you swallowed it down to return your mother’s sharp smile.

~~~🌲~~~

Vultures gasped in delight when you stepped into the courtyard. There were always so many eyes on you, but today felt like it was about to be a rough fucking day, and the wave of their laughter almost crushed you. Your body thrummed with the desire to pierce every single one of their greedy hearts until the white on your dress was stained red.

Uncle Cedrick had made you a target and painted you to match your fate, and his twisted pleasure was met with applause.

You had never wanted to be a monster. All these years you had tried to run, tried to hide from the words you’d been branded with.

Broken.

Sick.

Damaged.

Crazy.

Psycho.

Unwell.

Uncle Cedrick dragged you to the little stage, fingers pressing into your back until you smiled.

The strength it took not to snatch the arrow from his grasp and try to end as many leeches as you could before you disappeared was physically painful.

You had really thought that you were holding it together. You thought that you were strong enough to pretend.

But today was a rough day, and just standing there in that debasing dress was almost enough to make you tear at your hair, struggling against the disgusting, abhorrent feeling of living your fucking life.

Buggy.

It was just a name, a small, painful sound in your mind, yet it shifted the weight of your soul for a moment.

Your uncle’s words were white noise while you swallowed the lump in your throat. Kat’s concerned gaze caught yours from her spot at the Vinsmoke’s table, and you couldn’t let him win. If he broke you that deep, if you gave in to that rage, then the consequences would hurt more than just those you wished to end.

A twinge of resentment touched your selfish mind, but you forced yourself to breathe it out.

Just shut it off. Disappear inside.

Pretend.

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🔴🔴🔴~~~

Once again, Shanks fell in line beside his enemies. The Concealer had filled his mind with so many words, so many secrets and weaknesses, but not a single plan.

How could he plan when Cedrick Sylvad had his hands on her?

“Another hunter has failed the hunt,” Cedrick chided, and Shanks couldn’t keep his fingers from twitching when Sylvad pressed the point of an arrow to her heart.

Her lovely heart that this monster had painted a fucking bullseye on and encouraged his greedy friends to aim their weapons at.

“However, our little doe is so sweet that she wants to give each hunter one last chance,” he lied. Shanks had heard the leeches complaining while they lounged and bet on this game. Some wanted more drama, more romance, more tension.

Cedrick was giving his “friends” every twisted thing they wanted, and they adored him for it.

“One of you will still be going home, but she may change her mind on who depending on your next few words,” he teased as he stepped down from that moving platform. “Tell her why she should be yours.”

That fallen star was frozen, a perfect smile breaking his heart while she was lifted, gliding through the air until she reached the end of the line.

Vinsmokes.

All three of those cocky princes promised her a pampered life, and Shanks would have laughed at their weak attempts if he didn’t have three of them to deal with.

He held himself taut, needing to hear the next hunter’s every word, but Iceburg’s promises were hard to catch over the laughter beside him.

“Did you hear them, brother,” Cracker asked loudly, craning his neck to catch Katakuri’s gaze. “Didn’t we make their daddy cry his eyes out a month ago? How do they expect to protect our little bride when they can’t even—“

“Enough,” came that deep voice from above, but Katakuri was too late.

“Alright boys,” Cedrick scolded with a laugh while the Vinsmokes glared from behind their colored glasses. “That’s enough tension for today. My dear niece deserves a little romance before you sink your arrows into her.”

Glancing back at Y/N turned Shanks’ rage into icy fear.

Y/N’s smile looked just a little more real, and she hadn’t seemed to have heard her uncle’s words while she gazed up at the blue haired shipwright.

Iceburg kissed her hand after taking a mouse from her palm, tucking it into his pocket.

“I hope you don’t send me home before our date tonight, girlie,” Iceburg whined, “I don’t wanna leave before I show you your gift. It took so much work.”

She laughed.

Fuck.

The Emperor of the Sea watched helplessly while that star shined just a bit. She shined for someone else.

And she kept shining when the platform lifted her into the air.

“No matter what you choose, you are already mine,” the merman prince promised.

His voice sounded hushed, but it was too large to hide from the air. Fukaboshi kept softness in what could almost be a threat.

“I will do everything in my power to help you lead the joyful life that your kind heart deserves.”

If Y/N gave a reply, it was lost while the platform pulled her down, but she was still high enough for the Sweet Commander of the Big Mom pirates to gaze at her with those crimson eyes.

“I am meant to tell you why you should be mine,” Katakuri purred, tracing the side of her face with his large fingers, blocking the piece of her that Shanks could see from this angle. “But I want to be yours, Y/N. I want to be your family, and I hope that you’ll give me another chance to show you how much family means to me.”

“Thank you, Katakuri,” Y/N said, giving a small yelp when the platform pulled her away from another enemy Shanks would have to defeat.

“Cracker?”

Y/N waited for the other Charlotte to look her way, the man tilting his head up toward his elder brother before snapping back to her.

“You should keep me here so I can protect you from those spoiled princes down the line. They don’t care about family, and that makes them weak. If you choose—“

“You’ve got a lot to say for someone who—“

“Don’t worry hunters, you’ll have plenty more opportunities to test yourselves against one another. For now, I believe that our Emperor of the Sea still needs to say his piece,” Cedrick gestured to him before Y/N was set down before him.

She was so close.

Right there.

Lightyears and lightyears away.

There were so many things he ached to say, but Shanks wasn’t done playing the villain.

He pulled her off the platform, catching her against his chest when she stumbled. The crowd gasped in surprised titillation while Shanks held her chin to keep her gaze trapped on his.

The red-haired pirate was silent during his turn. Instead of imploring her to keep him, Shanks just stared down into those swirling depths.

There were noises and voices around them, but Shanks was drowning in her, drowning in his desperate need for her to wake up. He tried to look the villain, to convince her with his eyes, or to read anything from her, but all he could do was drink in that emptiness.

The nothingness she gave him nearly broke him. No one could carry all of this with such a lovely smile.

Unless she was already gone.

Finally, those cursed bells, and Cedrick’s entitled fingers, tore the shell of that shining star from his grasp.

~~~🔴🔴🔴~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

I knew those soft, brown eyes were a lie…

You couldn’t recall ever feeling grateful for Uncle Cedrick’s controlling touch, but anything was better than the cage that your enemy had cornered you in.

Disappearing was the only way you could withstand the force of that powerful pirate’s gaze.

Those eyes had held more than flirtation, desire, or anger. Shanks had let that mask fall away, letting the world watch the predator claim what was his. He was a greedy monster, and the chaos in his silent demand felt like walls closing in. You felt a sudden fear for your other buyers as the heat of his grip still seemed to burn into your skin.

Shanks isn’t just playing.

The Emperor of the Sea wanted to own you, and he was the kind of man that got everything he wanted, no matter what he had to do to get it. It was no wonder why Uncle Cedrick seemed to like him so much.

“Well, dear niece,” he called you back to the world, making you gasp when he broke the arrow beside you, pressing it into your palm. “Time to say goodbye. I wonder if these lovely promises were enough to change your vote…”

It seemed that the crowd of vultures was growing louder every day, but the heaviness in your next words was enough to drown them out.

“Prince Fukaboshi,” you called out with that practiced calm, your voice carrying through the courtyard until they shut the fuck up. The platform tore you from the ground, until you tried not to shake before this terrifying man that you could have been safe with.

This man that appeared to be the most monstrous of them all yet might be the only hero in this line of hunters.

His soft smile with those sharp teeth forced you to breathe. You couldn’t show favorites, not even at the end.

“I am sorry, Prince Fukaboshi,” you told the truth, dropping the splintered wood of the arrow into his massive palm. “I’m afraid that your arrow failed to pierce my heart.”

“It has been an honor to try,” he started, his brows furrowing when the platform began to lower before he finished his sentence. His deep voice rolled down over you until Uncle Cedrick guided you away from a life that might have been.

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🗡️🗡️🗡️~~~

Doerena was a lovely, little kingdom.

Its smuggling ring was particularly delightful, although Mihawk didn’t care about the weapons, the drugs, or the power.

The swordsman only cared about the snails and the little rabbit that he was always too late to catch.

Mihawk had woken up too late. Changed too late.

The rage that gripped him every time he caught someone using Y/N for their own pleasure was a force of nature, cruel and mindless. It cracked open the ground beneath him, sucking everything into his destruction while he fell through a hole in the earth.

The swordsman cleaned his blade, ignoring the rest of his mess while he watched his love on the big screen.

His darling was smiling with a hideous target painted over her beautiful heart, but he swore that he had caught a hint of fight in those gorgeous eyes when her uncle brandished an arrow at her.

“We’ll paint it red, darling,” Mihawk promised while he watched his red-haired lover chase his little rabbit.

Mihawk promised endless red in that room that he’d already painted for her, his sword the only clean thing in sight. Promises were all he could give her while he waited for his chance.

I won’t be late.

~~~🗡️🗡️🗡️~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🔴🔴🔴~~~

Only three hunters had yet to have a private date, but that still left too many more days before Shanks could claim another for himself.

Another chance.

“All hunters are welcome to play,” Cedrick announced, charming the crowd, “but today’s prize will be claimed by a Vinsmoke or a Charlotte. Which one of you will pierce her heart?”

The Emperor of the Sea twirled an arrow in his fingers, ignoring the bow beside him while the other hunters prepped their shots.

“Pathetic, little boys can’t do shit without their fancy suits, huh?”

“Cracker,” his brother warned. Katakuri had sat this hunt out, offering his shadow to Y/N while she watched her hunters try to sink their arrows into her beautifully carved doppelgangers.

Those wooden dolls were painted with that matching bullseye over their hearts, but their perfect smiles had to be more real than the one on her lips.

“I wouldn’t need my suit to end a freak like you,” Niji sneered, leaning around his younger brother.

Cheers interrupted their tension and Shanks frowned up at the replay of one of those perfect dolls being perfectly shot through the heart.

Iceburg was annoyingly skilled with a bow.

“All these years of friendship and I never knew we shared a hobby,” Cedrick chuckled while the old shipwright pulled his shirt back on, disappointed sounds floating up from the audience at the act. “If you pierce my niece’s heart like that, we may have some family hunting trips to plan soon.”

“Ooh, but look at the prince,” one of the leeches called out until Yonji’s image filled the screen. The green-haired Vinsmoke lifted his chin, too proud of winning with his second place shot.

“At least the green shit has some energy. That prissy, blue boy is fucking worthless. Our cute, little bride already forgot about them, huh,” Cracker taunted too loudly, his overconfidence boiling over while he drew all eyes to his. “I bet she can’t even feel them after she’s had a Charllotte. Not unless they use their fancy toys.”

Cracker’s grin spread wide, thick and vicious across the screen until he got what he wanted. Niji had shoved past his younger brother, his crackling energy shattering a few graham cracker soldiers before the remaining brothers stopped the fight, and Cracker didn’t stop laughing until Katakuri loomed over him.

Shanks had taken the moment to show off, appearing between his little bunny and the would-be battle between failed hunters. Niji and Cracker were reigned in almost instantly, but the disappointment from the crowd reminded Shanks of what a show they were all trapped in.

“I am surprised we made it this far,” Cedrick chuckled as he took center stage again. “I wonder if anyone made a killing on these two being the first to fight…”

A smattering of groans left the crowd, with one voice lamenting the fact that they hadn’t put more berry down.

“Excuse me, Emperor,” he purred, grabbing Y/N’s wrist to guide her before the fighters. He snapped his fingers in the air, and a servant brought him two arrows in an instant, the tyrant beaming while he broke them over his knee. “I’m afraid you two have broken the rules, and it wouldn’t be fair to let you stay. Do you have anything you’d like to say to my dear niece now that you have failed to pierce her heart?”

Shanks fought not to let hope creep into his stupid, selfish heart while he watched two of his enemies disappear so easily.

Those two had never been a real threat.

“You like my brother, don’t you,” Cracker taunted, although his manic grin seemed more earnest than before. Y/N didn’t answer soon enough to stop the man’s next few words from spilling out. “Big brother likes you too. Don’t make me kill all these fuckers to make you my sister. I’ll make them suffer first, and—“

“Brotherly love,” Cedrick laughed while Katakuri dragged his cackling brother away, “and what about you, Prince Niji?”

The blue-haired prince stared at her for a long moment, too much satisfaction in his gaze.

“It’s alright. This little princess is coming home with us, aren’t you?”

“She’s coming home with me,” Yonji declared, kneeling to kiss Y/N’s hand. He was now the last hunter left without his first, private date.

Y/N gave the green-haired prince a lovely smile, and Shanks fought not to celebrate.

The day after tomorrow. Shanks could win another chance the day after tomorrow.

I just need one more chance.

~~~🔴🔴🔴~~~

~~~~~~

~~~⏰🌲🌲🌲⏰~~~

Dad’s fingers tapping on his desk might have distracted you if a certain someone hadn’t answered his call.

“How’s my favorite shipwright?”

“Mm, well, I’ll be better once the season passes,” Iceburg complained, and you chewed on your pencil while you fought off your grin at his deep voice. That silly whine of his came through your dad’s snail so clearly, and you knew you wouldn’t be able to focus on your homework now.

You were good at pretending though, so you scribbled random numbers onto your notebook while your dad chatted with your favorite shipwright.

“Really,” your dad chuckled, “I thought storm season was good building time for you. You’ve already got another East Blue boat for us to look at, don’t you? Plus, that extra project?”

“Of course,” Mr. Iceburg assured while you imagined his lovely hands making lovely things. “You and our little numbers girl can swing on by after the season ends. Kokoro’s throwing Tom another execution extension party. Last year’s was—”

“I think the worst is past, don’t you,” your dad grinned, winking before you buried your face in your work again. “I might swing by for that little project soon, but we’ll be back for the party once Y/N’s out for spring break. If she gets good grades, of course.”

Sticking your tongue out at the tease saved you, because you would have swallowed it at Mr. Iceburg’s next words.

“I know she will. Y/N’s smarter than both of us, Arbo.”

“Don’t I know it,” Dad beamed, embarrassment heating your cheeks while you tried not to groan. “Thanks, Ice. I’ll see you soon.”

“Not too soon, friend,” Mr. Iceburg scolded. “The season’s almost over.”

~~~⏰🌲🌲🌲⏰~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🔴🔴🔴~~~

It didn’t matter that his enemy seemed to be a good man. From everything Shanks had already known about the CEO of Galley La, and all he’d heard from the Concealer, Iceburg appeared to be a genuinely decent person. He was well-loved by his people, adored, and admired.

The only potential flaw he could find was that Iceburg was here.

“This is quite the boat, Mr. Iceberg. It hasn’t even been two weeks since the hunt started,” Shanks whistled, finally catching his enemy alone. “How’d you make this for our girl so fast? Or was it meant for another sweetheart?”

Staff were still milling about the edge of the lake, setting up tables so the leeches could dine while they watched this man steal her away.

The man in question stepped off the gorgeous, little sailboat, a slight crease to his brow before he answered the red-haired pirate.

“It wasn’t,” Iceburg noted with a smile when he looked back at his work. “I made this for Y/N a long time ago, with a little help from a friend.”

“Would that friend of yours be pleased about your date tonight,” Shanks taunted, leaning close to knock on the boat. “Last time I drank with Arbo, he wasn’t keen on the idea of his little girl with an older man.”

Iceburg hardly moved, but the shift was impressive, his eyes going as cold as his namesake while he assessed the man before him.

“I suppose we’re both bad friends then,” the shipwright drawled. He moved to walk around Shanks off the dock, glaring when the emperor stood in his path.

“A man in your position has a lot to lose here,” Shanks breathed, frustration and fury rising at the lack of fear showing in that icy gaze. “Everyone expects pirates to be the bad guys, but mayors? I don’t think your constituents will be too pleased about what you’re up to.”

Nothing. This man could hold himself quiet, and Shanks couldn’t risk using Haki to make him kneel.

“If you’re not going to attack me, please get out of my way.” Iceburg finally clenched his jaw, eyes flicking over Shanks’ shoulder toward the growing sounds of vultures. “I don’t want to keep my date waiting.”

“She’s leaving here with me,” the desperate pirate vowed, hissing while he let his enemy walk away.

“I don’t think she likes you very much, Emperor,” Iceburg arched a brow. Applause met the shipwright when he walked toward the show, both of their forms displayed across the projector screen while the snails captured the small boat, and the symbol of a tree framed by the sun painted on its sail.

Shanks stared at himself on the distant screen, his stupid hair too bright to try to sneak onto the ship with so many eyes on him now.

~~~🔴🔴🔴~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🐊🤡🐊🤡🐊~~~

“You’re a terrible liar.”

“No, I…”

Fuck. The scarred man had been too frightening again.

His pretty clown left his bite of a too-syrupy pancake dangling over his plate when Crocodile interrupted him, shaking his head at all the breakfast’s for dinner he'd been having.

At least he's eating.

“You’re not ‘fine,” Crocodile attempted to soothe while he scolded, “you’ve hardly slept in days. I’ll watch over you if you like. Wake you up if you say anything interesting.”

Crocodile could hardly sleep himself. Not when he had more recordings of his sweet girl's torture to watch. Watching over Buggy pushed some of that useless rage aside, at least for a moment.

“Thanks… daddy.”

The guilt that was rotting through the clown’s bones had twisted today. He had already decided. It wasn’t even a question.

Buggy would do anything to save his star, even lie.

“I don’t like it if you don’t mean it,” Crocodile teased, finally breathing when his final, little lover cracked a smile for him.

“Sorry,” Buggy huffed a laugh, stretching so taut that his joints slipped apart.

Buggy would do anything to save her.

But what if she really…

“What do you—uh,” the clown cleared his throat, almost losing his voice before these words could meet the air. “If I told you she was happy, would you believe me? Would you leave her alone?”

The ice in Crocodile’s veins kept the rage from moving too fast.

“She’s with Iceburg, isn’t she?”

~~~🐊🤡🐊🤡🐊~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

“Help me,” you begged, your voice high and desperate while you tried to calm your racing heart.

“You look amazing, sis,” Kat shook her head while you held up another dress against the midnight blue one you kept gravitating toward. This was the one time you wished that your outfit would be chosen for you, but Iceburg wanted you to "be yourself," so you were digging through piles of expensive fabric on your own.

Nothing felt right.

“You’re really excited about tonight,” she asked softly, and you flicked your eyes toward the staff in the corner, but they were far too professional to look like they were listening while they waited for you.

“I’m not sure,” you gave up, dropping heavy garments onto the back of the couch before sitting close. “He’s a hunter, and I haven’t seen him in years. I don’t…”

“If you want Mr. Iceburg, then I will cheer you on,” your sister whispered in your ear as she stood to give her seat to the makeup artist. “But if you don’t want him here, then I’ll go shove that mouse up his—”

You laughed so hard you choked, and Kat gave you her water to sip while she tilted her head, waiting for your answer.

“Leave the mouse alone, sis,” you beamed at her, letting yourself be dolled up for your favorite shipwright.

~~~🌲~~~

Mr. Iceburg was here. He was using you. He was a leech. A monster.

Repeating those truths like a mantra didn’t kill your stupid hope, your naive ache for that gorgeous, silly man to be anything but a vulture, here to pick the flesh from the carcass of his dead friend’s family.

No favorites. No least favorites.

You couldn’t school your features, couldn’t fix your fucking face when you saw it. You wished that you could hate him for tearing down your mask like this, but it was too beautiful, too perfect.

Drawn toward the docks, it felt like the world had disappeared. You were entranced, shrinking down and down until you touched that perfect ship in a bottle, one of the small works of art that your dad had spent so many hours on.

He’d spent so many hours telling you stories about sailing on those tiny boats, hours working out the travel time between your favorite places on a ship the size of a shoe.

Daddy had asked how you wanted this ship to look and had painted it just for you. This was the little boat that he promised you would sail to the top of the Sunlight Tree Eve someday, if you could just figure out the math. If you found the top of the Eve tree, you knew you could find an Adam tree too.

At least, you had believed that when you were playing, when dad was sharing his stories, his perfect toys.

You’d smashed that particular toy boat so long ago, stomping on that sail with the Sunlight Eve Tree. There had been no more sunlight to be found after your dad disappeared.

But here it was.

“There’s my numbers girl,” Mr. Iceburg hummed, leaning down to brush a dangerous tear from your cheek. “Wanna take a tour of your boat with me? Eve's been waiting a long time for you.”

Gentle fingers, rough from decades of his craft, reached for your hand. He offered you a chance to step into a dream, and the air around you felt timeless and soft.

Laughing to yourself, you followed your dream and his little mouse onto this ship in a bottle.

Maybe I have gone mad.

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

Likes, comments, and reblogs bring me much ✨dopamine✨ thank you!!

Author's Note: My "all or nothing thinking" tells me that I shouldn't interact with y'all if I'm not posting chapters regularly. Brains are dumb. I won't promise that I can get back to my old schedule soon, but I really flippin want to. This entire story is constantly on my mind, as well as all the others I have planned that have to wait until the end. All of your support makes me so happy. Hopefully I'll see you very soon, either by answering old ass comments that I adore, or posting Chapter 37. I hope your dreams are lovely tonight 💜 ~ Lynna ✨

Chapter 37

Operation Olive Branch has compiled a working spreadsheet of ways to help families fleeing from the genocide in Palestine. If you enjoyed this fic, and are able, please click the link to find a list of GoFundMe's, as well as other ways to help.

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familiarscars · 2 days ago

Text

Lost In Control | Bad Omens | CHAPTER 27

adult content | minors do NOT interact.

⋆ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆. Bad Omens X ex-girlfriend and singer!Reader.

⋆ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. You and Noah had a difficult ending but you still need to support each other for the band.

⋆ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆(𝐒). melancholy, ex-boyfriends, difficult relationships, alcohol abuse, swearing, drug addiction, violence.

It's okay to not agree with the characters' attitudes during the fic. It's good to remember that the story is fiction from the author's sick mind and of course they will make dubious decisions according to my fantasies. Nothing is done to be compared to reality.

NOAH

God, if You truly love me, make this woman shut up — I thought, as Scarlet chattered non-stop beside me throughout the entire ride to the hotel.

The headache that had been a mild annoyance was now a relentless hammering inside my skull. As soon as I crossed the threshold, a wave of dizziness nearly knocked me off balance.

"Would you mind leaving me alone?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady, but Scarlet remained planted on the edge of the bed, arms crossed, her irritation practically radiating from her.

I moved deeper into the room, leaning on the table with my head bowed into my hands, breathing in slow, deliberate gulps to fight off the mounting pressure.

"Where were you last night?" she demanded suddenly.

I glanced at her over my shoulder. Scarlet was a complete mess — disheveled hair, face streaked with dried blood. The crew had offered to help her, but she refused, insisting on sticking with me until I sorted it out.

I tossed a small first-aid kit onto the counter. She caught it mid-air.

"I went out for air," I replied, flatly.

"I was worried about you! We had plans to have dinner together, and you never showed! You didn’t answer your phone, missed soundcheck, and even the guys couldn’t find you. Then you just appear like nothing happened!" She spoke like she was trying to snap me back into reality, but my mind was still far away.

I wished her away, hoping my headache would vanish with her.

"Can you at least help me with this?" She shook the medical supplies at me, breaking my reverie.

"We had dinner plans?" I blinked a few times, my brain slow to piece together her words. There was no memory of the previous night — just a frustrating, empty blur.

"You don’t remember?" Her eyes narrowed with growing concern.

I hesitated, then shook my head. Scarlet exhaled sharply and soaked a cotton ball with antiseptic, her actions brisk and sharp. She gestured for me to come closer. I sat on the edge of the bed, examining the raw scrapes on her face. Her cheekbone was so swollen and bruised that I had to look away to keep from gagging.

Unlike Scarlet, the she-devil had walked out of the dressing room unscathed. The thought made me snort bitterly every time it replayed in my mind.

"What’s funny?" Scarlet’s eyes narrowed.

Only then did I realize the grin tugging at my lips. I wiped it away instantly, pressing the cotton ball harder than necessary onto her wound. She winced, her nose scrunching from the sting.

"Noah, the doctor said your mind is so overloaded it can barely retain recent memories. He said it’s common under extreme stress. Your episodes have been getting worse..." Her hand caught my wrist, stopping my movements. "That’s why you’re so disoriented."

Her touch, though gentle, felt like needles raking my skin. I pulled away abruptly, avoiding her empathetic gaze.

"Just stress. I’ve been working too hard," I muttered, brushing off the discomfort.

"I know you can handle yourself, but the signs are the same as two years ago, Noah... You broke down when you two ended things, and you’ve never been the same since." Her voice softened, a poisonous lull. "She’s dragging you down to keep herself afloat. Look at how much you’ve regressed with the band since she came back into your life. She’s using your dependence on her to blind you..."

My head swirled, thoughts tangled in endless loops. Anger bubbled beneath the confusion. I clenched her wrist hard, pushing her away as my cold gaze locked on hers.

"I don’t care about your opinions or the stories you spin to fuel gossip sites. The only reason I tolerate you is for professional formality. But my memory is perfectly clear when it comes to how you loved to stir up absurd rumors about my relationship back then," I growled, watching her squirm under my grip. "I won’t say it again: mind your own damn business!"

"Look at what she’s done to me, Noah! She’s still the same disaster — uncontrollably wasted, out of control! She hasn’t changed. What do you expect? She’ll never be able to handle you!"

"You couldn’t handle me if you tried..." I shot back with cold, menacing calm. I let her go with a sharp release.

Her eyelid twitched — a crack in her facade of confidence. She rubbed the red mark on her wrist with her free hand, trying to recover her composure, but failing.

"You’re only defending her because you still don’t see the plan, do you?" she pressed, her voice cutting through the air as I stopped just steps from the door.

I stiffened, muscles tight with the effort to keep my composure.

"The sicker and more unstable you become, the further you’ll drift from the band. They already see you as weak, Noah, and she’s no different. When was the last time you contributed anything? When were you strong enough to write even one song? — You think she’s here to help? She’s just waiting for the right moment to call you incompetent. But look at you... clinging to the delusion of reconciliation while she quietly sabotages you at every step."

"ENOUGH!" I roared, my voice booming like thunder, the force of it pounding in my temples until a sharp, agonizing ringing filled my ears, like nails scraping a chalkboard. "ENOUGH! ENOUGH! ENOUGH! ENOUGH!"

"She’s using you!"

Scarlet didn’t back down. Instead, she stepped forward, her eyes gleaming with something cruel and triumphant.

"Isn’t that how it’s always been, Noah?" Her voice was softer now, a venomous whisper. "All she needed was an opening — one chance to corrupt your mind, to drive you insane bit by bit."

She moved closer, her words stabbing deeper.

"Until you were so dependent on her you couldn’t even think without her being your eyes. That’s why she’s still in the band. She knows you can’t go anywhere without her..."

Her tone shifted, mock concern laced with malice.

"But be careful, Noah... Don’t forget when she disappeared and left you to clean up her mess — all alone."

I walked out of the room with heavy steps, feeling the air pressing against me from all sides. The pain in my head was like a fist crushing my skull from the inside out. Everything around me was blurred—walls, lights, sounds—a smear of nothingness.

And then her voice came.

Scarlet.

She wasn’t talking to me anymore. She invaded my thoughts, cutting through them like a razor slicing every attempt at coherence.

“Hasn’t it always been this way, Noah?”

Her words echoed as if carried through a tunnel, distorting, repeating. No matter how much I wanted to push the sound away, it was trapped inside my head. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to recall the previous night, but only scattered, disjointed flashes came to mind.

And the pain worsened.

My eyes burned. The weight of her words... maybe they were true. Maybe I deserved my own game turning against me after everything I’d done.

I left her alone, didn’t I? I didn’t defend her. I wanted her gone, and she left.

She was right.

I had wanted her out of the band, too, and hadn’t I made that clear enough times?

My insides felt like they were collapsing, as if I were falling inward with nothing solid beneath me. Just emptiness. And her voice.

“To the point where you’ve become so dependent that you can’t even think without her being your eyes.”

My chest tightened. That was it. That was always it.

The hotel corridors stretched endlessly, a shapeless landscape. Everything was white, a blinding light that illuminated nothing. I stumbled, almost fell. I couldn’t see clearly; tears and sweat blurred my vision.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to tell her she was wrong, that none of it made sense.

But what if it did? What if it was all my fault?

The pain hit an unbearable peak. My body doubled over, knees giving way, hands pressing against my face as if I could rip out whatever was crushing me.

And then I felt it.

A hand.

Warm. Steady.

On my shoulder.

“You okay, man?” Ruffilo’s voice cut through the haze, a calming force against the storm that made my chest heave with panic. I let go of the hair tangled between my fingers and turned just enough to meet his concerned gaze.

“Come on, let’s get you back to your room.”

“NO!” My voice burst out, loud and sharp, as I shoved his arm away. My eyes, wide with terror, mirrored the panic within. “I’m not going back there.”

Breathing more steadily but with trembling hands, I studied Ruffilo again. He looked confused, his eyes scanning not just my face but the air around me, as if trying to piece together a puzzle of invisible shards.

“All right, all right,” he said gently, raising his hands in surrender. “We can go somewhere else...”

“I’d rather be alone. I’m fine.” I straightened up, forcing a steadier tone, though my gaze darted between him and the empty corridor.

“But—” He began, his hand reaching toward my arm like an anchor.

Wary as a cornered cat, I trusted no one—not even my own shadow. Nobody wanted to help, nobody cared what I felt; they just wanted to stay in the loop. I didn’t know what side my friends stood on, didn’t know my own side or why I even needed one. Everything crushed my mind at once, and I wanted to shut it off by slamming it into a wall. I couldn’t take thinking anymore.

“We’ve got a show later, and I just want to focus until then, if you don’t mind.”

“If that’s what you want… fine.” Ruffilo’s voice fell to a resigned whisper before he turned and left me alone.

The moment he disappeared down the hall, I slid down the cold wall, trying to hold back the weight that crushed my chest. Loneliness, no matter how unbearable, felt like the only relief I had left.

A few hours later, I dragged myself to the stage in near silence. My friends joked and buzzed with excitement for another night on tour. I remained still, cold sweat trickling down my back. She stood only steps away from me, and every attempt to make small talk dissolved under the weight of my aloofness.

I didn’t want to believe she could do this to me. But it was hard not to when I looked at myself from outside my own body and couldn’t see who I was anymore.

Tracing the timeline of our story, it wasn’t unfair to think she wanted to destroy me. She could have a plan with Gerard to push me out of the band. He knew my weaknesses well enough to suggest a truce through her.

She could’ve made a trade, and with my declining contributions, he would have agreed. That’s why he betrayed me when selling the singles.

It’s all a setup to betray me.

A sharp pain shot through my temple, forcing a curse between clenched teeth.

“Noah?” Her voice reached out, light and curious, her smile faltering as she noticed my grimace. She touched my arm with the tip of her finger. “Are you feeling all right?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” I snapped immediately, my suspicion seeping into my tone. I saw her eyebrows lift in surprise, her eyes flickering with concern.

“What the hell’s gotten into you?”

“What the hell’s gotten into you!” I fired back, louder than I intended, taking a step back to create distance. “If you’re trying to stir up a fight to throw me off before the show, you’ve wasted your time. Now leave me alone!”

The words cut like knives, each one slashing into my chest as if I’d carved them out myself.

For a moment, our eyes locked, a silent battleground in the dark sea of hers. She stared at me, stunned, her dark eyes swimming with shock. The contrast between my tone now and the person I’d seemed to be earlier was too stark.

And me? I was furious. Not just with her—mostly with myself. With my inability to think clearly, to find balance.

Before either of us could speak again, the intro began to boom through the speakers, the cue to step onto the stage.

Without another word, I turned toward the blinding lights and the pounding sound, carrying the weight of that exchange like a burden I had no idea how to put down.

Jolly and Ruffilo led the sequence, Folio followed on drums, and I forced my throat to push out the first words of the song.

The sound came out—hoarse, but it came.

For a moment, she carried me when she noticed my voice faltering, like a lifeboat in a stormy sea. I didn’t cling to her or her help, trying to forget the weight on my shoulders, the echo of Scarlet’s words still crawling in my mind. I kept trying to push through, as if it were just another normal day.

But then I looked at the audience.

Hundreds of eyes. Thousands, maybe. All fixed on me. Judging me.

Waiting for me.

My throat closed.

The words vanished.

The guitar riff continued, the drums kept the beat, but I was silent. It was as if the song had disappeared from my mind.

I opened my mouth, but nothing came out.

The people in the front row began exchanging glances. Murmurs arose—low, but every sound seemed amplified, a buzzing that grew in my ears. From the corner of my eye, I saw my partner finish leading the song while interacting with the crowd.

My vision blurred. Sweat poured down my forehead, dripping onto the microphone. I closed my eyes, trying to remember the lyrics, the next note, anything that could pull me out of this abyss.

Nothing.

My mind was empty.

The silence between one beat and the next stretched endlessly. My chest tightened as if I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t afford to fail.

But I already had.

If I were smart, I’d avoid every media outlet in the coming days, knowing full well the headline would be about my second blackout on stage. That’s all I remembered from that moment—forgetting the words to a song I had written and needing my friends to finish the show for me. My phone buzzed nonstop with Gerard’s calls; he was probably having a heart attack over another potential cancellation.

We hadn’t even been back at the hotel long before I was on the street again. I didn’t tell anyone I was leaving. A few questions at the front desk and I found a car rental service. It seemed like the only way to clear my head for a while.

A light rain traced patterns down the windshield as I rested my forehead on the steering wheel, trying to control my breathing. Then the slam of a car door jarred me from my thoughts, and an overwhelmingly sweet perfume filled the air.

She flung herself into the passenger seat like an avalanche, her eyes burning with rage.

"Are you going to ignore me now, too?" Her voice sliced through the silence.

I raised my head but couldn’t speak.

"After everything that’s happened, after what that girl did to me, after everything I said this morning, you’re just going to do nothing?" She pressed forward, her words rapid, loaded.

"Get out…" My voice was low, drained. "Please, Scarlet."

"It’s crystal clear to me that you’re letting her get away with this because you’re too spineless to confront her!" she snapped, raising her voice. "But I won’t let her turn me into a punching bag while you make me look like a fool, Noah!"

Pain throbbed behind my eyes. I stared at the rain streaking down the glass, avoiding her gaze.

"Do whatever you want," I said firmly, side-eyeing her, "but I’m going to say it one more time: Get out of the car."

For a moment, she was silent, her eyes locked on mine as if trying to decipher something—or maybe waiting for me to back down. But I wouldn’t.

"You think you can just send me away like that?" she finally said, incredulous, a hint of challenge in her voice.

"Yes, I do." My reply was cold, final. I was past my limit, with no space for games or bargaining.

She let out a harsh, humorless laugh.

Then she pulled something from her pocket—something she had kept hidden until now. A piece of paper, crumpled like an opened envelope. Tension coiled up my spine when I recognized it instantly.

"Then maybe you’d rather I tell her about this." She held the letter out toward me.

My stomach dropped. There was no mistaking that paper. The letter from prison, informing me of Crystal’s whereabouts and her wish to see her daughter. The letter I’d hidden after intercepting it among countless pieces of mail.

"How did you…"

"Does it matter?" she cut me off, her eyes flashing with triumph and fury. "The question is what I’m going to do with it, Noah."

The rain drumming against the windshield was a distant echo in the storm inside my head. Scarlet’s hand trembled slightly as she gripped the letter—a weapon poised to strike.

"Someone’s going to be so upset to learn she’s been lied to about her dear mommy not looking for her. You, the master manipulator, kept it from her all this time…" Her voice dripped with scorn and glee, each word slicing like a blade.

My chest clenched, guilt tangling with the pain already pounding in my skull.

"I did it to protect her!" My voice cracked with desperation, not strong enough to drown out her laugh—louder now, almost deafening.

"And you think she’ll believe that?" she sneered, her eyes glittering with triumph as she watched me unravel.

Something snapped inside me, and my gaze shot to the dashboard. I turned the key in the ignition, the engine roaring to life as I slammed my foot on the gas.

I wasn’t going anywhere in particular—I just needed to move. Pain blazed through my head, making my vision swim. The sound of cars fell behind as I sped past, ignoring every sign and signal.

My chest burned like fire, and I gripped the steering wheel so hard my fingers ached.

"What are you doing, Noah?" Her voice, now tinged with genuine fear, cut through the storm of my thoughts.

"You don’t know when to stop, do you?" I growled through clenched teeth, my voice low, dangerous.

The car hurtled down the road, the speedometer climbing higher. Scarlet clutched her seatbelt, her eyes wide with terror.

“Noah, stop it!” she screamed, her voice losing its arrogance as she gripped the passenger door handle tighter.

“Why should I? Isn’t this what you wanted? You wanted chaos, didn’t you? You wanted to see me lose control?” I shouted back, my own voice blending with the roar of the engine and the patter of rain. “I TOLD YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM ME!”

“Noah, for God’s sake, slow down!” Her plea was filled with genuine panic, but I was already beyond hearing. “Stop now! I want to get out!”

The pain in my head was unbearable, a constant pressure threatening to explode, amplified by her words, by the sound of her laughter still echoing in my mind.

“If you want to get out, you’ll have to open the door and jump into the road.” My hands clenched the steering wheel, my knuckles white as I pressed harder on the accelerator. “I don’t understand why you’re panicking. This is what you wanted, isn’t it? We’re together now, darling!”

The empty road was a blur of darkness, lit only by the headlights.

“Noah, stop! You’re going to kill us!” she screamed, her voice now a near-hysterical shriek.

But I didn’t stop. I couldn’t stop.

Then came the crash.

The impact was brutal—an earsplitting sound of metal twisting as the car slammed into the pole ahead. Chaos erupted: shattered glass, the dull thud of the airbag deploying, breath caught in my chest. For a moment, there was silence. Only the faint sound of rain, now mixed with the muffled ringing in my ears. I blinked several times to clear the colored spots clouding my vision until the world came back into focus.

I was motionless, strapped to my seat, the metallic taste of blood in my mouth. Scarlet lay beside me, her face streaked with blood, unmoving, unconscious.

And for the first time in hours, the silence was worse than the noise.

“Sir?”

Her voice was calm but carried a subtle edge of concern as I sat on the back of the ambulance, my eyes fixed on the frantic movement of people around me. I held a makeshift bandage to my forehead, feeling the relentless throb of pain.

“Can you tell us how the accident happened?”

I lifted my head slowly, meeting the EMT’s steady gaze. Her neatly tied ponytail left her face bare, but her expression was unreadable. My eyes drifted to the other side of the road. Paramedics wrestled with the twisted wreckage, finally freeing the body of the red-haired girl from the driver’s seat. They placed her onto a stretcher with care, but the gesture was cold, clinical.

A heavy sigh escaped my lips. I turned back to the EMT, realizing she was still waiting for my response.

“She’d been showing signs of instability for days,” I began, my voice hoarse, each word weighed down with regret. “She assaulted my gir… my ex-girlfriend. She was getting more agitated, confused, and constantly threatening me.”

My throat tightened, forcing me to pause as I glanced away.

“Today, she diverted us from the route to a commitment with my band—she works as our photographer,” I continued, my voice thick with emotion. “We started arguing... I got scared when she lost control and started speeding faster and faster.”

The EMT didn’t move, her hands still resting on her hips, her face unchanged. She waited, her patience unwavering.

“Did she have any reason to crash the car into the pole at that speed?” The question was neutral, asked without judgment, but the sound of it twisted my stomach into knots.

“Because she wanted to kill me.”

⭑ @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard ; @iluvmewwwww75 ; @anarchydomainglory ; @foliosgirl ; @lacy1986 ; @chey-h ; @supersquirrel1996 ; @zozaline ; @just-randomm-stuff ; @do-it-jakey-baby

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valentine-cafe · 2 days ago

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May I request ritual sex with Rishen 9948v please?!?!:D

[Afab gn reader]

-🍄

˖⁺. “ bound to me ” :

﹙ cultist boyfriend x gn afab reader ﹚.𖹭 ݁

. . . verse 9948v rishen !! 🍒 : ﹙ cultist ˖ mad composer ˖ blood manipulator ﹚

ritual sex with your cultist boyfriend

﹙ cws ﹚: explicit content ˖ ritual sex ˖ knife play ˖ bloodplay ˖ penetrative sex | wc : 0.6k

﹙ receipts ﹚: I love you so so much for this ask because rishen is suuuchhh a brat and I finally get to write about it

꒰ other treats : guidelines ˖ m.list ˖ characters ˖ our lore ꒱

The first cut across her hand would be the beginning of the ritual. Before the knife found your palm, and swiftly, with one sharp cut, split skin and left blood trickling out into the large circle around the both of you.

Like an ocean, the your blood and his mixed, meeting in the middle of everything, before projectiling out to each side of the circle, slowly spinning around the both of you. As if you both stand in the eye of a hurricane.

“Take a deep breath,” She murmurs into your skin, slowly laying you down in the middle of the floor. You look so hauntingly beautiful.

The candles give you such a beautiful glow, how was the pair or ruby coloured irises supposed to avert their gaze back to the ritual book when you were below here, bare? Your flesh so warm and comforting, plump and easy to grab, grope and hold onto?

“Focus on the spellbook darling, it is alright.” You whisper to her. A twist of excitement in your stomach. It is hard to wait any longer when you have waited so long for this bonding ritual to commence. You’ve been waiting to have her like this for a while.

The bloodied hand of your lover would settle down in the middle of your chest. Her index dragging down your ribs and abdomen. All the way down to your pelvis, where the tip of her knife very delicately carved her initial. Careful not to cut too deep into the flesh.

Chants fell out of her mouth so naturally, eyes rolling back while glowing an intense red as the magic does it’s work. The knife cutting your initial into her own pelvis. Girldick throbbing with anticipation to feel the magics of the sacred rite during your intimate touch with one another.

As the whirlwind of blood calmed, and began moving across the room like waves of water. Rishen’s chanting came to an and, and her knife carved a few last runes and symbols into her shoulders, legs and throat, before moving it to carve at you.

Her hot tongue swiped across the streaks and droplets of blood that trickles down your limbs. Her fingers purchasing in the supple flesh of your thighs, prying your legs open to give entrance for the pre cumming dick between her legs.

“Rishen.” Breathless, you cling onto her as you feel your walls wrap around her. Welcoming her in like they haven’t seen her for the longest of time, felt her.

They pull out a loud groan from her lungs, nails digging into your skin and clawing while she thrusts forward slowly, making the pace rhythmic. God of resentment- this is a symphony in all of its glory. Perhaps she’d make her god fuck you into the flooring of the apartment.

Her teeth find your shoulder, sucking along the blade while shallowing and hurrying up the pace. Quietly whining when your hands move to guide her to slow down again.

Your right hand finds her chin, turning it gently, while you press deep kisses to her open mouth. Breaths mixed and tongues mingling. While your left hand’s fingers trace circles around her peppled nipples.

By the end of the ritual, she’d intensify the session with calling all of the blood back into you. Now mixed and purified by the magics. The pain of the fresh wounds reabsorbing mixed blood blended so deliciously well with the pleasure. Your orgasm hit before you knew it— Gasping and whispering for her to go on until she’d finished too. To end off the ritual as it is meant to be.

Her breaths would grow deep, stuttered, as the thrust of her hips would attempt to chase her orgasm. And eventually, when it hit. The candles were all snuffed and the room went quiet for just a moment. Before you stared giggling. Taking her face into your warm hands and snuggling close. Pampering her with kisses and praise for the entirety of the night and on.

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thefirstknife · 4 hours ago

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I wasn't aware of the discussions around Eramis being that rancid, personally (although I tend not to look at online discussion around media in general, thanks to how skin-deep at best much of it tends to be).

But the way you've talked about it makes me wonder how much of the people complaining about Eramis's character development are coming at it from a dislike of the idea of that redemption being a thing at all- the perspective that Doing Bad Things makes someone A Bad Person who can no longer be A Good Person, essentially. Seems like that mentality has grown... if not more common, at least louder, over time.

(Although your comment about not seeing why they'd 'pull a shocking twist for the sake of pulling a shocking twist to spite the audience' is a little funny in a sad way, considering how many people seem to think "outwit the audience and surprise them" is more important than "tell a coherent story as well as possible", even changing things if a twist is leaked, even if whatever they change it to makes no damn sense.)

It's really bad out there and it's strange for the exact reason you listed, because the same communities have previously entertained redemption ideas about characters like Calus and even Clovis; characters who have never expressed any wish to change or any beliefs that they may be in the wrong, no regrets and no remorse for what they've done.

So I can't even figure out if this with Eramis is about not wanting redemption stories. I think it's more about Eramis herself; not only is she a female character, but she's very largely and easily misunderstood. A lot of people's interaction with Beyond Light was... not entirely invested (a lot of the community was at the time mad about vaulting and hated everything new on principle), and her other storylines are in seasonal content that's gone now and that was almost universally hated; she was brought back in Plunder and then reappeared briefly in Defiance. A lot of people approached her from the get-go as "just some villain we will kill in the campaign" and then that didn't happen and these people were confused because they never paid any attention to her story. And then by the end of it, it just kinda slipped them by.

I don't know honestly. I may be overthinking it, but I definitely think that a lack of understanding of her story plays a huge role. Whether that's because they missed her story or just didn't pay attention to it or just had no interest in it - and nobody online they interact with offered any insight into her character (lore youtube) - they just don't get what's the fuss and they don't care about her. Some might say this is because the game didn't make people want to care, but I simply disagree. While I enjoy Eliksni stories, they're by far not at the top of my list of favourite things in Destiny so I don't have any special attachment to Eliksni characters, I didn't know Eramis before BL and I was never a diehard fan of her, but I understood her story and what they wanted to do with her for the past 4 years.

And I was happy that she got her character arc completed as was intended. I saw where it was going and this solution is the only one that made sense to me. So I don't think the whole "the game didn't make me care enough because it was badly set up" really holds water. The game can't put thoughts into your brain, sometimes you have to actually think about characters for yourself. Like, we shouldn't have to be spoon-fed that hard. Her arc and the setup was clear and it was written into the game's story, a lot of it even outside of lore books ("It was just in the lore books!" is a major complaint a lot of the time, and one I personally find baffling. You're in the Lore Books The Game. If you don't like lore being in lore books, you're in the wrong place).

We could honestly discuss this to no end, and everyone who dislikes Eramis or the conclusion to her story would probably have a different reason for it, or there would at least be a couple of them, not wanting redemption included. Could also be a combination - not understanding her story will lead a lot of people to think that her being redeemed makes no sense and that it wasn't supposed to happen.

I think it's also a case of people having a really hard time understanding that a character can be our ally while still hating our guts. I've seen plenty of comments from people saying they're annoyed about Eramis constantly being antagonistic towards us. This is baffling to me, because again, it makes sense that she doesn't like us. And it would be bizarre if all Eliksni were now suddenly fans of humanity like a hivemind. Some will never like us. This is good. They will still help us because there's bigger fish to fry, but they don't have to like us.

Eramis was a delight this episode to me and she was a really interesting character. She wasn't a huge deal overall and some of her story was fairly on the sidelines, but she was a very unique "villain" and antagonist to us since she was introduced and I think that her character arc was very well done all things considered. This amount of resistance and dislike for her from the wider community is something I simply can't see as anything other than a lack of understanding of the story (personal reasons and stuff like "I get it, I just don't really care that much" not included).

#destiny 2 #destiny 2 spoilers #revenant #revenant spoilers #eramis #ask #long post #went off again but i'm also really interested in the reasoning and i can never figure it out #the commentary almost always boils down to “i don't like it because i don't get it.”#but there could be other reasons. i definitely think that eramis being so antagonistic towards us (while being female) plays a role

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misterspectacular · 2 days ago

Text

MY ASSESSMENT OF EP 1 OF MEGAMIND RULES! - MEGAMIND VS DUDE MONKEY

I'm going to be going through each episode of MEGAMIND RULES! to review them! Basically state my opinions and talk about how much I love Megamind and the things he does and stuff

Starting with episode 1, obviously.

S1 E1: Megamind vs Dude Monkey

I love the Megamind DreamWorks intro. I'm so happy we have one that was made specifically for him, at long last. It's perfect, too -- Megamind is the man (kid) on the moon, fishing for Chum. Brilliant! And the fact Megamind gets pulled down pahahaa

The theme is incredible, everyone knows it. I particularly love when Megamind throws the bags of money, we do a little spin around him, and then he kisses us. If I'd never seen him before, this would be the moment that I succumbed to his handsome-ry.

"You've met your match, Evildoer! For I, Megamind, am the hero of Metrocity! And you will feel my… steely justice with the force of a… an angrly llama!" -- Megamind working on his new act. He's used to spouting villainy, this is hard! "I think you're improving, sir! That's way better than attacking their mothers personally!"

"Villains, beware! For I am the White Knight of --" I assume he was going to say 'Metrocity'. I love the Batman references (The Dark Knight of Gotham). I am a huge Batman fan so to have Batman peppered throughout Megamind content is truly delighful.

Dude Monkey reminds me of Ron from Kim Possible. Except horrible. HAHA the subtitles when Dude Monkey says "shall we stop another crime?" are actually "shall we SCHTOP--" which is exactly how he pronounces it, HAHA! That's hilarious.

Megamind: What IS that thing?! (I love that he doesn't realize Dude Monkey is a person.)

Dude Monkey is so annoyingly obnoxious! Megamind: What in Hades' hamper just happened?! (That's such a good exclamation.)

Roxanne saying "I don't have actual control over the sun" feels like a Mr. Burns reference. Would that make Christina Christo Smithers? You know, I can see it.

Megamind breaking through the window and innocently Ollo-ing only to get a monitor thrown at his face is pure gold. Roxanne really has a thing for throwing things at people, doesn't she? She did it to Music Man in the original film too HAHA! She calls it "muscle memory", I wonder if she means "back when you were Evil and I had to defend myself". But DID she really even defend herself physically from Megamind back then? Hmm… we really need more content from the old Evil days.

Megamind likes tacos! Important! He also likes toquitos, chocolate milk, coffee, kombucha, and donuts, as I recall! Perhaps I missed something. If so, I'll find out soon enough (since I'm going to be going through the entire series again with Notice-Things Goggles on).

Megamind @ Nighty-Knight: "If he pops his Halloween head up again, I have just the treat for his tricks!" These lines are TOO good.

Megamind using the word "bombastic", PFFT! It fits right in with the others words often tied to him. "Mega", for example, and "Swag" (promotional items). "Uber" was also a popular word in the live-action script. I feel like all these words are a part of the same package. Also -- Bombastic apparently doesn't mean what it SOUNDS like it means. I was thinking "bomb" as in "amazing" and "tastic" as in "fantastic" but it's actually more of a negative term. I have a feeling Megamind didn't realize that either.

"Why hire a second-rate wanna-be when you can have a first-rate is-a-be?" Oh my God, Brent and Alan, I know they're the ones coming up with these lines, they're hilarious. This episode is super funny, every one of Megamind's lines are pure gold. You can really tell how much effort they put into writing the characters, especially his.

I love when Megamind nee-nah nee-nah nee-nah's Christina, maahahaha!

"What about that icèd cream you promised?" It's interesting, in the subtitles it has a little dash over the e (è) to convey the pronounciation. "Primarily used in languages like French, Italian, Catalan, and others to represent a slightly open 'e' sound." Fascinating! I just watched an episode of the Simpsons where Mr. Burns refers to it as icèd cream, as well -- I do think the creators were inspired!

Oh, ice-cream! He likes ice-cream, as well!

Food Megamind Eats (will be copy+pasting this to other posts if he eats other stuff and I need to add to it): Tacos, toquitos, chocolate milk, coffee, kombucha, donuts, ice-cream

"Time to get my blue bod ripped" pahahaha, I love that he can go from using the dialect of an elderly man from the 1920s to talking like a teenage boy who's been living in a frat house amongst his peers for the past 2 years.

I love that Megamind thinks Dude Monkey looks up to him and is inspired by him -- seeing the world through rose-colored glasses, I love that about him. (Have I mentioned that I love things Megamind does yet?)

"What's with this troll business? They've been extinct for decades!" I'm really curious if there are actual trolls in their world (wouldn't be far-fetched, there are aliens and shadow-people), or if Megamind just THINKS trolls existed in their world. If they did exist, I'm imagining it's something he learned when he was still on his home planet (maybe mom was telling him a bed-time story about the long-lost troll and then clarified that they are extinct once he expressed fear. I realize I'm totally making this all up but let's go with it).

Keiko really is a necessary addition to future (technically present) Megamind content, because Megamind himself has been so sheltered and secluded that he would have NO idea what's going on, ever. Her being there to assist him is pretty important!

Hehe they used an edited version of one of my favorite promotional images of Megamind! "It's big for a reason!"

"I went viral on Metrocity once! Gave everyone dance fever!" Hahaha I love that, it'd be great to see that. I hope the next theatrical Megamind movie is a prequel and we get to see more of Megamind and Metroman's battles, and get to see Machiavillain training him, and also get to see how Megamind met Roxanne! What a dream that would be! Also, giving everyone dance fever reminds me of Rachett and Clank with the Groovitron (a floating disco ball that, when thrown, plays disco music that mesmerizes anyone near it to dance uncontrollably until it expires)!

Megamind's little dance when he "wins" the point-battle is great (I giffed that)!

"Make me virulent on the onternet!" (Virulent: (of a disease or poison) extremely severe or harmful in its effects.) Hehehee

Chum being entertained by a baby dancing just like a grown-up is pretty funny, given that's what baby Megamind was doing in some old commercials HAHA! Also, there was apparently a dancing baby meme back in 1996 that was/is really popular, I wonder if that's what they're referring to. I bet so!

youtube

"Villains are red, heroes are blue. Stop robbing that bank, or feel my Kung Fu! Or, you know, I'll think of something later." I love that Megamind can seem egotistical at times, but he's actually quite self-conscious and self-questioning. He puts on the 'I'm the best' act to cover up his insecurities. I also think it was his way of giving himself what nobody else would (except Minion), considering he was looked down upon and was alone for so long!

"Treading the boards" is a term that originated in the 1700s. The question we've all been asking -- IS Megamind geriatric? Technically, no, but he definitley does have a tendency to use out-dated terms/phrases. Which makes him all the more lovable! (I love Megamind, by the way)

Megamind Before He's On Camera: Hello, my biggest fans! Megamind here!

Megamind Once He's On Camera: Hello, my biggest fans! Your little fannies will shake as you worship the splendor that is --

So real. You know how it is, when you're just existing, and then suddenly you're existing but on camera? It changes everything you ever knew about how to exist!!!

De-ep Freeze, De-Sintigrate, De-Gravity, De-Moralize, De-Lock, De-hydrate! Those were some of the features on his De-Gun that I was able to see! (I'll update this as we go, too.)

Dude Monkey: Say "Megamind's Cheugy!" (That apparently means "something or someone out of date or trying too hard.")

Megamind being obsessed with views, man I've been there! When you're trying to make a living off the onternet, and rely on views to make said-living, you get kinda obsessive! I love that Megamind puts his all into learning how to be up-to-date with slang terms haha! He really did learn quite a lot!

"Only 100 views?! Why haven't I become a virus yet?!" He's so adorable. I would rewatch his stuff a THOUSAND times if I could! … Oh, wait, I do. (I imagine Megamind just coming into my room and being like "kinda creepy, but flattering…!")

Megamind being scared that he's become "unpopular". That's interesting to think about, even when he was a villain, he was loathed, but he wasn't unpopular. They LOVED loathing him! He was Metrocity's Number One Supervillain!

Keiko then tries to help him, and he shuts her down! He decides to take matters into his own hands! He's too impatient to do as she requests and just wait it out! He's on his way to seek INSTANT gratification!

Oh my Gooodd, Dude Monkey is the wooorrrssstttt! And Christina is a bully! I have to assume she's cruel to Megamind out of jealousy, but jealous or not, that's my man she's bullying! Cut it out, woman! And I don't know why, but it's super funny to me when Megamind refers to her by name. "Heelarious, CHRISTINA!" I think it's so funny because they're acting like a couple of highschoolers who are fighting over the hunky football player.

Oh, this is the best part! Megamind trying out all the different disguises and personas haha! This is him using everything he learned whilst browsing the onternet!

"If this is the hero Metrocity wants me to be, THEN SO! SHALL! I! BE! IT!"

"Crimes a-poppin'! Daaang!" HAHAHA he's such a dork, I love him. "Scope that! Crime much, am I right?" HAHAHA "You'll LOL as I trick-shot these handcuffs right on Nighty-Knight's wrists!"

"Nah! Crime-stopping rocks!" "CRIME-A-DOODLE-DON'T!" (best line ever hahahaha)

Oohh, cowboy Megamind is delightful, he's been my phone background since this episode came out last year on March 1st (I can't believe it's almost been a year already, 2024 FLEW by)! BACKSLASH RAD!

So funny that Chum gets obsessed with memes hahaha, new special interest activated!

"Imagine her telling me I don't know what I'm doing!" (-RECAP- Keiko really is a necessary addition, because Megamind himself has been so sheltered and secluded that he would have NO idea what's going on, ever. Her being there to assist him is pretty important! -END RECAP-)

Roxanne: I need a 30 minute nap after eating three chicken wings! (Paahhaha)

Another incredible line: "On my way to the hospital. My back is LOUSY with stab wounds." This is Megamind's way of calling Roxanne a back-stabber HAHAHA

I do love that Roxanne WANTED to pick Megamind though, and that it was just the city that preferred Dude Monkey. She agrees Dude Monkey is dumb! Yay! "Dumb-ocracy, am I right?" "You can't unspoil my sour mood with mayoral dad jokes, Roxi."

"I posses super intelligence, otherworldly handsomeness, and selfless humility. Yet, I am felled by a bananalamadingdong." 1.) The first sentence has such "I decided to pick something a bit more humble; MEGAMIND! Incredibly handsome, criminal genius and master of all villainy!" vibes, 2.) HE'S EATING CHIPS! HE ALSO LIKES CHIPS! ADDING THAT TO THE LIST OF FOOD MEGAMIND EATS

Food Megamind eats: Tacos, toquitos, chocolate milk, coffee, kombucha, donuts, ice-cream, chips

There's also a Chinese food box, an applejuice box, and a soda cup on the floor! I wonder if that was from him or from Keiko? We later find out Keiko throws her garbage right on the floor of the Lair so I'm not sure! It wouldn't surprise me, though, if Megamind was the one to consume those things. He eats to comfort himself, as later episodes prove.

Megamind truly fears people laughing at him! He really doesn't want to come off as a "bafoon" in any way. He prides himself on his Mega-Mindery, for a while that's all he felt he had going for him -- plus, I mean, his very NAME is based on how intelligent he is. He expresses fear at being laughed at in the original film, too -- being in his jammies in front of Roxanne terrifies him! Running away from the pieces of Metroman's statue after he blew it up "I hope no one's seeing this!" Also there was concept art of Megamind as a kid being laughed at by all the students at school because he dressed up as a superhero and wore a wig. MEAN! I think it's part of why he doesn't like being laughed at and does what he can to ensure he isn't. Trauma!

Little Terry Sasko Says: I love that Megamind messes up just like me. In a weird way, that's inspiring. (So real)

This whole episode ties in really well with the original film, with Megamind wanting to be something he's not. He always has trouble with that; he wants to be perceived in a very specific way -- and that way is whatever gets him the most positive attention. My boy has trauma and he needs hugs (from Roxanne. Also kisses).

It's kinda funny, but what Nighty-Knight's up to is obvious if you pay attention to HIM during his scenes earlier in the episode. I… was not paying attention to him, at all. Had no idea what he was doing. Too busy looking at Megamind. ALSO -- it's hilarious how Megamind is coming off as a genius as he explains his thought process, but it's more like everyone else is just dumb (looking at you, Chum). HAHA!

Roxanne: Please give me good news, like a meteor is heading this way so I don't have to listen to this speech. (HAHAHA ROXANNE, she can have a dark sense of humor, it's great.)

I just heard Dude Monkey in the background saying "fish don't have lungs like humans do. They have gills!" (SHOCK AND AWE!!!)

Nighty-Knighty: You dare talk confusingly to the Duke of Darkness?? (Nighty-Knight is by far my favorite member of the Doom Syndicate, he's hilarity shadowified.)

Dude Monkey saying "we so do not have the budget for this!" when Nighty-Knight starts using his powers -- I bet the writers added that in there because it was an actual concern! I mean, really, can you imagine being given only a certain amount of money, and having to know what you can/can't do based on the amount you have? That sounds like it'd get really complicated. (I think that's why sometimes in movies, in one scene the CGI will be fantastic and in the next scene it'll be sub-par, more of the money went toward one scene than the other.)

"Welcome to MEGAMIND'S RULES FOR DEFENDING YOUR CITY!" That's the name of his channel, apparently! That was also the title, or at least the working title, of this series when it was first announced!

Dude Monkey and his friend remind me of the guys from "Dude, Where's My Car?"

WOAH, I just realized Megamind said "Metro City" instead of "Metrocity" for the first time this ep! Ha! We do know he's capable of saying words correctly, he just tends not to, or forgets to. But when on camera, or when he knows he shouldn't, he changes it (such as right now, where he is on camera for his channel)! That happened in the original movie, too, where he's about to say "shool" to Roxanne as Bernaard, but quickly changes it to "school". It also happens in a later episode, when Megamind and Roxanne swap bodies. I think he categorizes things in his brain, and when one folder is open, the other is closed, so he is on and off with things depending on which folder is open. Kind of like he goes into modes. THIS Mega-mode doesn't say that, but the OTHER Mega-mode does.

OH, more features on the De-Gun revealed! I know some new ones were added, or some were replaced, so I'm going at it as if it's a gun with new features. Meaning I'm not going based off what I know to be true about the De-Gun in the original film.

So now we have: De-ep Freeze, De-sintigrate, De-Gravity, De-Moralize, De-Lock, De-hydrate, De-stroy, De-bilitate.

(ignore that I focused on "de-bilitate" twice)

Megamind after he freezes Nighty-Knight: Pretty chill, home boy! (HAHAHAA)

crowd goes wild

Megamind: "Thank you, thank you! Oh, please no, you're too much! But it is fitting." (HEHEE)

Chum making his own meme, and it's just a picture of Megamind with the words "Inspirational Hero ROFL"

1.) Nighty-Knight looks cool without his armor. He's literally a shadow person.

2.) I love holographic-brain Machiavillain. It's fun that our introduction to the character was him as a holographic brain. It makes you wonder what he really looks like! I'll bet he was peeved at being a holographic brain when he's so obsessed with his hair.

I'd say it's my 11th favorite episode! There are 16, so 11 of 16.

1 - Thrilling Conclusions 2 - Extra Credit 3 - A Cake for Keiko 4 - Villain City 5 - Who Wants to Save a City 6 - Game Over 7 - Mission: Machia Fest 8 - The Art of Destruction 9 - Blue Prison 10 - MegaMayor 11 - Megamind vs Dude Monkey 12 - Roach Hard: With a Vengeance 13- Hero for a Day 14 - The Villanous Origin of Mr. Donut 15 - Of Mice That Are Men 16 - Too Much Chum

#this took me literally over 5 hours #NOTICE MY WORK #megamind #megamind rules #megarox #roxanne ritchi #minion #chum #ol chum #chuminion #keiko morita #megamind vs dude monkey #my megamind rules reviews

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