#even if i've also never met anyone else with it irl

[bobbinalong]

this is so silly but I just saw the post you reblogged about finding your name on keychains and was like “oh i very rarely find mine” and then “i wonder what their experience is” and then i saw we have the same name!!!! very silly to be sending this but i’ve never actually met someone with my name, so it’s very cool / good weird to me lol. anyways thank you for doing justice to our name, i love your art sm.

Name twins! Whoo! Gretas assemble.

[kindnessoverperfection]

Feel free to ignore this, but I'm a disabled writer who tends to focus on representation in my works, and I came across your posts about having npd while doing research for a side character in a story of mine. I really appreciate you taking the time to write out a description of npd that shows the roots of the issues and the way they affect the people who have it rather than how outsiders perceive it. I just wanted to ask if there were any traits of npd that you personally would like to see in npd representation/ if you have any thoughts on how you'd like to see characters with npd represented in media? I know at current there's basically no positive npd rep, which sucks for sure, but in a hypothetical situation where there was a character with npd who wasn't villianized for it, what sort of aspects of npd would be comforting for you to see reflected in a story?

Once again, feel free to ignore this ask if I'm overstepping at all, and I hope you have a wonderful day <3

Hi!! ♡ Apologies for the late reply, I wasn't on tumblr for a few days, then my alter was out for the next couple days and I wanted to be the one to respond-

I really appreciate that you're taking the time to research and create thoughtful representation, and I'm glad my posts could offer some help with that!

My first two thoughts are:

Characters whose symptoms present differently than the common portrayal of NPD

It's super common for people to not recognize NPD because they have this very limited view of what it is and how it can present - so it would be nice to see representation that shows variety in the way it can manifest.

For example, it's actually very common for someone with the disorder to primarily "lash in" rather than "lash out", but I never see that represented (intentionally, at least).

There's also a very limited perception of narcissistic characters being blatantly arrogant, grandiose, braggy, selfish, power-hungry, etc. But really, there's an unlimited number of ways someone can present outwardly, because the only thing that's crucial to the diagnosis is the internal experience - how it affects the person who has it. How they appear outwardly to others can vary wildly.

(I'll admit, some of these "stereotypical NPD" characters feel very relatable due to shared symptoms and vibes and power fantasies. To the extent that I have one of them as my pfp on some accounts lol. But if you met me IRL, my vibes are just "confident and bubbly, polite, quiet and distant, fashion-oriented, straight A student, cutesy, braggy, adventurous", and I always make the effort to be kind to people even though I can be somewhat distant and goal-oriented.)

It's also common to think of someone "flying into a rage" when they feel criticized - but anger (whether external or internal) isn't an inherent part of it. The issue is that someone perceives criticism as a threat, so their fight/flight/freeze/fawn response kicks in, and there's a large multitude of ways that can show up.

(Personally, I go into either fight or fawn mode. But the vast majority of the anger I've felt has been entirely self-directed, manifesting in the form of self-criticism, self-hatred, self-destruction, overworking, eating disorders, etc. I will occasionally feel outwards anger, but when I do, I give myself time and space to process it by myself so that I don't upset anyone. And even for those who feel external anger much more often than I do, it doesn't mean they'll express it in an aggressive or harmful way.)

tldr; I'd love to see a variety of outwards presentations, with the NPD being shown via their internal experience, rather than only displayed through stereotypical external behaviors.

2. Humanization for characters with NPD who make mistakes

People with NPD are human just like everyone else, which means that mistakes happen. Everyone accidentally fucks up, hurts someone, lacks self-awareness in certain areas, etc.

The level and type of interpersonal struggles, and the reasons behind these struggles, are all across the board. That's understood with any other disorder (or any sort of identity), but there's so much extra baggage and stigma applied when NPD is involved for some reason.

So for characters with NPD with higher interpersonal conflict, I'd want them to be humanized in the same way that anyone else with any other identity would be humanized. And I'd also want it shown that characters who don't have NPD can have high interpersonal conflict as well, that it's not limited to this disorder.

"what sort of aspects of npd would be comforting for you to see reflected in a story?"

In terms of specific aspects-

Personally, I'd love to see a character who like... tries to be perfect. Is externally very put-together in some way - maybe they're very kind and soft-spoken and sweet, or they're silly and happy and energetic, or they're quiet and serious and protective, or calm and mysterious and self-assured, doesn't matter. But everything seems okay on the surface.

But internally, they put so much pressure on themself. They hold themself to impossible standards, and feel like they HAVE to be seen a certain way and never show weakness. They have to handle everything perfectly. Just... so many symptoms and struggles that are hurting them internally, and overtime it ends up bubbling out in small ways, or like. Tbh I'd love it if someone would just... notice.

Notice the perfect bubbly happy straight-A student who's always kind and never shares their own opinions. Notice the quiet, highly-skilled protector of the group who somehow always knows the right thing to say and the right way to act.

And give them permission to be imperfect. To be human. Show them that they aren't their reputation or their skills or how impressive they are, they're so much more than that.

They can see the pain they're in, and instead of treating them as this untouchable perfect being, they treat them in a human way.

The super bubbly character seems completely unaffected by recent tragedy? Okay. Their friend doesn't ignore that. They don't push and prod, but they don't ignore it. They sit with them, spend time with them, hold them, they know it affected them.

I'm imagining a scene where the character w/NPD fucks up somehow, and they seem fine, but someone close to them suddenly Realizes and they just. Go to find them. And they're just having a massive breakdown, but the moment they see their friend, they quickly try and shove everything under the surface and act cool and unaffected and "normal", but their friend goes over and just holds them and. Ungh. 10/10

Couple months ago I did actually see an episode of a show like that, and both times I watched it, I bawled my fuckin eyes out lol.

Different people may have different answers in terms of what they'd feel most comforted by, but for me personally, I'd love this so much, because this is how I present and I desperately want to be Seen and Loved and have someone see my self-worth as being inherent and not tied into how "perfect" I am.

Closing thoughts:

Personally, there's not much that I'd feel offended by. To be honest, in addition to characters who fit the above points (various presentations, average-level interpersonal conflict, etc.), I also write characters who have that "stereotypical" presentation. I don't think there's anything wrong with it as long as it's not done maliciously, especially if there's other types of characters shown. (Similar to having both gay villains and gay protagonists or side characters, y'know)

The only thing I'd dislike / that would hurt my feelings is like... seeing a character be heavily demonized for their traits*, or the only characters with NPD being horribly abusive, or the usage of stigmatizing language (aka, if the character is spoken about the way buzzfeed articles speak about us).

*aka, demonized for the symptoms. Totally fine if someone does something shitty and it's pointed out as being shitty / if people dislike them for that lol.

Hopefully this isn't getting too long, but to give an example of what I mean, something I saw that did hurt my feelings was like-

There was an episode of a show where a character got super braggy and confident, and was relishing in the praise and admiration she was getting. Hinging her self-worth on that recognition and success. And her friends got annoyed and pissed off, simply because she was braggy. There were a couple of things here and there she did that were kind of insensitive, but that was never really pointed out or seen as the main issue, it was only her bragging that was being demonized for some reason.

And then her friends all ganged up behind her back and did something to intentionally trigger a crash and make her feel insecure and terrible about herself, all to "knock her down a peg". And the narrative framed that as being justified, framed her friends as being correct in this situation. They never once showed concern for her mental health or the fact that she was hinging her self-worth on other people's opinions of her, they tore her down for her bragging instead of either a) supporting and uplifting her, or b) showing concern for unhealthy mindsets, and they never even tried to approach her or communicate with her about the things she was doing that actually were insensitive.

Hopefully that wasn't too much of a tangent lol, but that's the type of thing I mean by "being demonized for their traits". Hate when all a character is doing is bragging and feeling good about themself and the narrative frames them in an extremely negative light for it :(

Okay I will wrap up the post here as it's already pretty long, but hopefully this helped a bit!! Thank you for the question, and good luck with your writing! ^^

[sdv-confessions]

Why do we hate on Clint for how he acts when its probably learned behavior? We never met his father, or his grandfather, Its quite possible that he got some of their beliefs about women, and its good that he'd so easily change his opinion when the farmer recommends him to. We also have to acknowledge that he's outcasted and quite ostracized even though no one intends it, He's stuck in shop all day, the only people who properly talk to him, or about, are Shane, Marlon, Emily and Willy(he sits with him at the bar daily, okay?), Marnie only mentions him in the bar, and its not implied that she talks to him so.

Shane? only interacts with him for the advertisement commercial, where Clint technically gets injured, who knows how bad for his system turning blue was.

Marlon only really talks about Clint because of his blade work.

Willy sits with him everyday at the bar, and I think thats because both of them are quite left out amongst the relations in the town.

the only person who truly does hang out, and talk to Clint without reason is Emily. And its painful to watch.

He's obviously trying hard. Panicking and hiding in a bush isn't stalking like everyone makes it out to be, he was on her steps with a purpose and freaked out when he heard her, he was building up the courage and got interrupted. so he was waiting to have the chance to leave because he was embarrassed and didn't wish to be seen.

When you go the route to help Clint try and get a date with Emily, she says that it was great, (even though she didn't realize what it was, Poor souls, both of them) The only issue was Clint embarrassed himself, again and stopped talking for the remainder.

Surely he's not perfect, But I assure those who say they've met Clints irl have not infact, I have, they're annoying but they aren't horrible people like everyone who hates Clint states. No one in pelican town is actually evil, or else they would've been thrown out awhile ago.

Whatever, I think Clint hates unjustified, it feels forced.

also Alot of people wouldn't HATE him if he was skinny, I've seen proof of that, barely anyone would hate him if that behavior was coming from a twink. either that or they just jump on the band wagon and don't study him.

End of my talk? Maybe Clint should broaden his horizons and date me. And I'm sorry this was so so jumbled, I literally just woke up and started writing this.

.

[thefirstknife]

So, is there a "prevailing" idea/theory/lore fact on why Osiris and Saint have different memories of things? That he really isn't "our" Saint, or that he and Osiris just remember things differently because even IRL people who were there for the same thing can remember it happening in different ways since memory isn't infallible? Something else? (I don't personally think it changes that Saint is Saint--unless he was pulled from a timeline where he had radically different experiences that would shape him into a wildly different person, he's still himself at his core across all those timelines that would lead to him being the same person.)

From what I've seen, most people just assume that the Conductor is correct and Osiris fucked up or something and we saved the wrong Saint.

Personally, I think it's more complicated than that, especially with today's reveal about the Saint that died. Originally, it was never cleared up if us saving Saint completely overwrote his death. Like, we didn't know if his grave would simply be gone after we saved him. It appears not (or at least that's what Ikora believes; Ikora is convinced we'll find his body there)! Which is really interesting because there's several really complex things involved, most notably the time paradox.

This is really difficult to get across but basically, we can pretend that the original Saint that died is Saint 1 and the one we saved is Saint 2. Saint 1 must've met us because we found the remains of the Perfect Paradox on his body. We took that and crafted the gun and then delivered it to Saint 2 in another timeline who is then saved. But that creates a problem of how does Saint 1 have it; we have to give it to him too. And if we gave it to him, that means the Sundial was created and we're there. This is further complicated by the nature of the Infinite Forest as a simulation engine. The Perfect Paradox is a really big point, as is the whole actual time paradox. I think it significantly complicates the situation to go beyond the simple "oh it's just a Saint from some other timeline and we rescued a wrong one." Obviously, it depends on how detailed they want to go with this story right now.

Even if these are two different Saints, they both must've met us which sets the course for Saint's life and shouldn't really change much about it. The divergence possibly happens in regards to whether or not Osiris creates the Sundial in that timeline (but if he doesn't, then the Saint that dies can't have the Perfect Paradox on him). If Osiris' "real" Saint died and we saved another one, there should not actually be any significant difference with their memories. Their memories should NOT differ. And they didn't, until the yoke.

That means that the yoke is what caused this and if it's caused by the yoke, then we can't really fully believe anything that the Conductor put in Saint's head. So far we've seen them having diverging memories on one thing, but just before that, we saw them in complete agreement on their memories. And Saint never experienced this before with anyone else either. My conclusion is that the Conductor scoured the timelines for other Saints and fed him other memories that may exist, which naturally caused an existential crisis.

This week Saint also seems to be doing better. He exhibited other memories that we know are correct, like where and when he met us and how that all went. He also specifically doubts the Conductor's manipulation by saying that he remembers the smells and sounds of the City normally, so how can he possibly be a fake?

I wonder how they'll go about this. How in-depth they'll dig and if there's an easier explanation that I'm not seeing. I do think that a significant part of the solution will just be convincing Saint that no matter what, he is Saint who lives with Osiris right now and that's it. It doesn't matter which version he is. Saint already had some thoughts like this today in the radio!

If anyone else wants to take a crack at the time shenanigans, feel free to add!

[obsidianstrawberrymilk]

omg I never see anyone talking about fukuzawa and kunikidas background but I agree with you so much I think he met him as a teenager if not younger. I've always liked to think that kunikidas parents know fukuzawa somehow and he kinda grew up knowing him. kunikidas whole background and family is such a mystery it drives me crazy

DUDE SAME HOLY SHIT I'm so curious about Kunikida's background because!! We know!! So little!! Like the only reason we know he used to be a math teacher is because he was literally working as one when Dazai's entrance exam happened - what was he doing before?? How did he discover he has an Ability?? Considering it's basically canon Abilities come from trauma, what even happened to him so his own manifested?

People talk about how Dazai is so careful on what he tells the agency but ngl, the agency know jack fucking shit about each other lmao. It's not just Dazai - we still have no clue what the fuck is up with the Tanizaki siblings or how Kunikida joined the agency. No one knew about Yosano's backstory before she shared it with Tanizaki and Kenji sans Ranpo and Fukuzawa because they RESCUED HER. Its confirmed no one sans Ranpo and Fukuzawa (possibly Yosano) know how the agency was founded in Untold Origins; and so much around Kenji is a mystery as well. We know about Atsushi because of his trauma dumping (as he deserves) and Kyouka because her joining the agency was so dramatic - everyone else though is far from an open book. Especially Kunikida.

Also - Kunikida's so fucking WEIRD, right?? Like people talk about him like he's the 'sane' one of the agency, but that's just because he's next to Dazai fucking Osamu, who makes anyone look normal. Kunikida is way too down with violence - hell, the first appearance we get of him he pins a starving orphan to the floor, it's noted he's not allowed to ask questions to clients because he gets violent, and he's told to cool it by Dazai of all people. Like?? He's passively suicidal with a HUGE guilt complex, and like, that obsession with his ideals can't come from nowhere. Like Kunikida's commitment to his ideals to the point of self destruction is shown to be bad for him, the center of his character and his flaws, so where does something like that come from? People also skip over the specifics of his moral code - because that's not clear cut either lmao. He breaks into weather stations because they reported wrong, steals cars when people have insurance, is just kinda like -_- when Atsushi and Kyouka are in danger in the start of the manga, and really, he's just... his morals don't align with the law. Period. Nor do they seem simple, despite how people want to read him.

So how the FUCK did that happen?

Because like I said, we know so little about Kunikida!

I really like the idea you said, about Kunikida having grown up knowing Fukuzawa! That's definitely interesting, I don't think I've heard that. It would make sense if Fukuzawa started training Kunikida early - because he's way too good for someone who started training at say, 18. In Dazai's Entrance Exam he wipes the floor with an opponent who has a significant weight and size advantage over him, and I actually think he could match Chuuya in terms of pure martial arts (maybe not beat, but it would definitely be a close fight without Abilities). That's too good for someone who only started training hardcore when he hit adulthood.

Also - I think Fukuzawa was the one who gave Kunikida his Ideals notebook. I don't think he was there when his Ability manifested or anything, but I do think he was the one who gave Kunikida that direction, that sense of purpose. It makes sense to me - Kunikida's dislikes have authority listed (considering the author irl, that makes sense), and he's got one of the most vulgar speech patterns in the series and comparatively rarely uses honorifics... yet he respects Fukuzawa so much?? He defers to him so much?? He's his successor, outright stated? What caused that type of loyalty, that type of deference?

Was Kunikida the first person to take an entrance exam, considering the agency was started for Ranpo and Yosano definitely didn't? What was his even like?? WHY did they make him the first one to take it, if he did?

Idk, I REALLY hope we get more on Kunikida's backstory soon. There's so much that's implied, and at the least I hope we get more on his relationship with Fukuzawa.

[devilsrph]

sending you the same thin I sent the other blog that thinks anyone cares if someone rps the military accurately. fuck the military, fuck anyone who would work for or support a system that thrives on murdering innocent people. anyone who is military irl or supports the military irl deserves to get offed. also women don't belong in the military anyway and the standards have to be lowered for y'all to even enlist which dooms us anyway. we need strong MEN.

Not directly responding to this anon, but I still think it is important that I showcase it on my blog because it's a part of who I am.

If you are not comfortable with the fact that I am military personnel ( even though I do my best not to disclose such on my blog for this very reason ) then please do us both the favor and hardblock me. My service to my people is a part of who I am and I would not trade it for anything. It has given me the chance to be a person I never would have become without it. It's given me discipline, knowledge, strength and resilience that the civilian world could never have given me. There is a lot to say about how the organization itself treats it's people. Especially once they are no longer of use to it, but my focus is not the robot of an organization. It is a career of humans, all of which are not infallible. So there is shitty leadership, there are awful days and situations that I often have to navigate through. But I do so because it makes me stronger, and I am okay with it because I know that at the end of the day, my decision saved my life.

I am not ashamed of my service to my country, I do not fight for the government. I fight for the people. Those same people who I would not be here without. Those who support me every day without it crossing their mind. I am here for the folks, like this anon, who want to watch the organization burn. All without realizing the importance of what we actually stand for, because they forget that inside many sets of boots is another human. Most ages 18-25 who didn't know what else life had to offer them. Again, there are a lot of assholes. But I've met far more amazing people, including my own husband. But that's what you get in an organization of 400,000+ personnel. I've been blessed to wear the flag. I am a patriot.

I am not angry or upset at this anon. I would never hold ignorance against someone, especially in regards to a very tight knit organization and my decisions to involve myself with it. When shit gets real, I promise you all that the personnel are on your side. I appreciate those who do support us. Even those of you who are not in the USA, I fight for you.

[victoriawaterfield]

thinking about tumblr in the whoniverse again

hyperpop-comics

my dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called 'the mind robber' 😳 you’ll be high out of your mind 💯

me: yeah whatever

five minutes later: dude i swear that rapunzel is out to get us

my buddy, the doctor, pacing: victoria i mean zoe the wooden soldiers turned jamie into a cardboard cutout

#this isn't funny at all #but they keep CALLING ME VICTORIA... #idek who victoria IS !!! #also rapunzel is NOTHING like tangled irl #zoe.txt

54 notes

jamie-mccrimmon

who is hatsune miku

100 notes

the-lone-centuriandeactivated3773833

anyone else think this saxon guy is kinda weird

harold-saxon

what an odd thing to say!

670 notes

bad-wolf

i really feel like we forgot something at satellite five

face-of-boe

YEAH. ME.

56 notes

doctor-jones

hate unlocking new lore like. what do you mean you and your ex girlfriend weren't the only ones in the relationship wdym you have an ex boyfriend too??? WDYM YOU JUST LEFT HIM ???

#i feel like every fact i've learned about the doctor as of late has been against my will #he is literally all like 'oh rose i miss rose so much' all the time & then ???

10 notes

hyperpop-comics

wait no random girl that i met in a time period that is not my own before she left my life forever come back i haven't even told you the karkus lore...

#guys she called me photogenic. #she spent like Hours taking photos of me that has to mean something right... #then she fell in love with a soldier & left me :( #love is cruel

lady-me

Why do you guys still travel with the Doctor if they never manage to get you to the right place.

#as far as i'm aware he doesn't even have a license to drive the tardis

[luckytidbit]

Food for thought.

Ok so I've seen an anonymous ask on someone’s blog recently about people being rude in the unwind community, (which first of all, if you’re being rude, shame on you.) I've seen mention of, actually no I’ll take it verbatim. “I like scrolled by multiple of peoples posts and fics about like theories and stuff, and most of them have people getting mad over them or feeling the need to prove it wrong? Like I get it, but it's just an idea 😭”  This community is pretty small and I haven’t seen any other unwind theory posts lately (Unless this person is talking about ao3, I’m not on there.), so I’m left to assume this ask is about the “Connor’s brain coping after his unwinding theory.” And the reblog I left on it, so let’s break that down shall we?

Personally, I grew up on Film and Game Theory so I’ve never seen debunking a theory as something that’s rude, just a part of a community helping another have the correct facts. Which by the way, @korokeea, if I’ve upset you, I am deeply sorry, it was never my intention to do so. My reblog was supposed to be seen as playful banter. (Side note, dream endings are very amateur, don’t do them unless you know what you’re doing. Even I wouldn’t do them, (I think I’m amateur anyway <:D.))

Also wanted to add that I should be using tone indicators, and that also I’ve seen examples of people whose first language isn’t English not understanding Western satire, so my apologies if I’ve confused you.

Now that I’ve addressed the main point, there was also something else I wanted to bring up.

This is obviously a parody of LIVE SLUG REACTION I used to add to my reblogs of Conland content (Connor x Roland), I also might have confused people doing this. I don’t think Conland is anyone’s cup of tea, personally, I see it as a crack ship that lives rent-free in my head, but I can understand how I could’ve confused someone. I honestly do like A Dog With A Bird At Your Door A Lot, even if the notes say “I hate gay people.” (Like, C’mon now Kuromi.)

Honestly, I came here to create art and not be judged for it, I have one to two irl friends that I see almost daily. The rest of it are just classmates that will turn on me the moment I say something that doesn’t fit their dialogue. (If you get what I’m saying, I have to say the right thing or they’ll look at me funny.) I’m honestly super stressed and pretty prone to anxiety right now, graduation, prom, removal of wisdom teeth via going under (anaesthesia), you name it! So you can see why I find a great sense of escapism in Tumblr.

Lastly, I wanted to say that in this community it is almost impossible to create micro-communities because of our small size. You CANNOT be vague or make inside jokes because almost everyone follows each other. On the original ask post that I first talked about, the responder mentioned a “that one guy” and my poor mutual @bopeisdope thought they could be that one guy. (Which is completely wrong, she and @lazysailor are the sweetest people I have ever met here. Oof sorry side tangent.)

Anyway If you made it through this thing, thanks for letting me get this off my chest.

[asklavgdavernus]

an in-character letter from avernus to amethyst

"Dearest Amethyst,

You don't realize it, but you have given me many reasons to thank you. Ever since we've met (well, not we, more of the future Top 1 contenders and half of the current Top 10), I've been more...inspired, to say. There really is this charm of finding someone that feels like an equal match.

It might be too early for me to pour my heart out to you, and for that I apologize in advance. However, I also believe that we have laid ourselves bare (metaphorically, of course! I could never!) when we had that small conversation in that meetup.

You asked me something- you! You, a future Top 1, conversing with me? Something truly unbelievable! Anyway, you asked me something about whether we should support players (challengers, you called them) who wanted to bet on who would be the next levels to enter the list.

I had to disagree with you there- it really shouldn't be a bet! Betting makes it seem like levels are objects to trade, not their own beings. I disagreed with you, and we really duked it out! I'm pretty sure we kind of resigned ourselves to one corner just to discuss that!

And you know what? That meant something to me. I once asked myself who would notice the garbage in the corner. It was you. You saw the garbage in the corner and in it, you found your treasure. You took the time to talk to me.

That conversation really stuck with me. It was as if finally- finally! I felt like a level equal to all of you. I know how great you are; I am even intimidated by it. Yet in this intimidation, I pause and remember how patient you were, even when we disagreed. I remember how considerate you were to talk to me when I tried to hide in a corner and shrink myself.

It's ridiculous, I know. It's probably just a regular meeting to you, but to me? It really did prove my worth. You might not believe it, but you became such a source of inspiration for me.

And when I saw you happy about the fact any of you could be Top 1 or at least on the list? I didn't feel threatened. I wasn't scared. I saw your pure, unbridled joy amidst everyone else's, and it clung to me, that sweet sound of your laughter and your "yes!".

That's growth. In the past, I would be threatened by that. I would try to overtake anyone who matches me, yet you taught me not to do that. Such a small conversation, and it changed me so much.

I wonder now, what kind of things change you? What moves your heart and fills you with warmth? That is a story for another day, another letter, if we interact more. For now, please have this, and maybe this can be the start of a bond.

Surely and sincerely,

Avernus"

-=-

ooc tagging: @yumewayuki beloved irl mutual, you know what inspired this

[kingofthewilderwest]

@bovivinator hope you don't mind me responding on main!

Gosh. I feel for you. Sympathetic high five. I also had a decade long queer journey starting my senior year of high school. While I've since let that side of me depart because, among other things, I realized it wasn't giving me satisfaction nor improving my own life, I will forever feel a full and overflowing heart to everyone who is stuck in this situation with religious institutions' poor outlets to safely question, analyze, and think for themselves.

It's extremely uncomfortable having a foot in two worlds where each side is condescending and antagonistic about the other. You can't get all your questions, help, and emotional needs met either place because both may hold strong negative thoughts against what's inside you. I know for many of us it can feel scary, isolating, intimidating, painful, turmoiling, with no answers or help in sight.

Given your context, I think you may be interested to know that Moral Orel is a show with attention to queerness. There are multiple main explicitly queer characters, each with their own way of handling the juxtaposition between their sexuality and their relationship to the church. Now: there are absolutely jokes where the homosexual characters sorta get the butt, in line with the show's black humor, especially at the start. I won't say anything more because that'd get into minor spoilers, but there is far more nuanced and heartful stuff, too, and there is no point in which queer characters are treated as any morally different or distinct than anyone else in Moralton. I could talk a long time about how interesting Moral Orel's treatment of queer topics is. There's lots to process.

Regarding Moral Orel, I do want to clarify to anyone following the conversation: I wouldn't recommend this show to everyone. In fact, personally, there are more people I wouldn't recommend it to among my irl and url friends. I think it's a masterpiece and I hope others will be able to draw to the show and love it. (I'm already rewatching and I NEVER re-binge a show immediately upon finishing!) But I want to be upfront many will be uncomfortable with how the show centers on and portrays religion. And even if that doesn't bother, the show's black humor pulls no punches and will target anything and everything. I see the fandom get angry when it's compared to South Park, but analogously to South Park, a person shouldn't watch it if they're gonna get offended over that stuff. And if anyone needs answers to questions like, "Does the dog die?" Moral Orel is a show to check on that, either for its jest or serious moments.

[illyrianbitch]

OMG YOU'RE A GENIUS (nothing new here). I'LL DEFINITELY TELL MY FRIEND THAT SELENE AND ADRIN ARE IN THE BOOK MUAHAHAHA

I'LL SAY THAT NEW CHARACTERS WILL BE ADD EVENTUALLY... (she likes Tamlin, btw...) She borrowed the first book yesterday, so I'm excited.

And since we are talking about Adrin... What a man! Where do I get one for myself? Running boy will have to compete with a lot of fictional dudes. Even Adrin is on the list now.

Also, for the one who said they never dated irl... Same? I never met anyone who was really interesting to the point of me trying something. I liked some guys, there's even an embarrassing story about teenager me confessing to a friend... And gosh, the shame.... But I never really dated. And now I'm totally fine with it, because I understood that we shouldn't force things to happen. Life is beautiful when you let it happen naturally. Kissing, dating, meeting new people should be fun, not a task in a check list. For a long time I was in love with the idea of falling in love, but it never happened to me... That's why I like Azriel... I can relate to desperation 😂

Just kidding (or no...?)

I didn't have an easy childhood, so I've been living through books for a long time... And now that I'm older (reaaaal older), I realize that I'll not settle for any kind of relationship just because I never dated before. My relationships, and the people in my life, must bring me happiness, not a sense of obligation.

So to the one who never dated... Feel embraced. I hope you respect and enjoy your unique life journey.

hahahaha but running boy would give adrin energy!! technically he bumped into reader in public randomly and immediately invited her back to his place LMAO

and yes yes! i know its annoying for people to hear the whole "itll happen when you least expect it/when the timing is right" but its sooo true. coming from someone who has been in 2 loooong term relationships, im kinda jealous of the people who still had time to figure themselves out without the pressure of dating someone if that makes sense lol (also tho...it may be bc both my exes turned out to be #WEIRDOS) i just think its so important to recognize that an absence of romantic love doesnt have to equal an absence of anything else. being single now has made me so appreciative of the platonic love in my life bc its just as important and i dont think i ever really acknowledged that

[nina-ya]

holy shit that was fast AAAAA !!! but eep no i haven't written anything for it, i've been having a love hate relationship with writing... with me being so busy too irl, it's hard to keep momentum going. but i suppose with selfship lore, anything is possible at whatever length of words? 🥺 my perfectionism is showing lmao like why 😭

omg thank you for your questions??? i actually thought about these briefly before! i'd like to think shanks and i's respective lands were peaceful/amicable when we were younger... our fathers were powerful but righteous leaders. we never formally met but we noticed one another in paintings of neighbouring kingdoms... i had a crush on first sight of his painted version (lmao!) but when we finally met in person, he fell harder :') i realized this is truly giving royalty, almost medieval with how its playing out in my head omg

shit hit the fan real bad, clearly, to be forbidden lovers/forced enemies 😬

ANYWAYS FAST FORWARD to the bar... we would look for the other person as if pulled by a magnetic heartstring. not hard finding him, red hair on full display. i'd like to think i'd be a bit more hidden with my cloaks and robes and stuff — even though the speakeasy bar is fully protected under oath... and my god, shanks is handsy fkenkfekfj despite everything that is against us, he'll always reach out first when i'm in his radius... all tips-chin-up-so-my-eyes-meet-his, so much "was starting to wonder if you have forgotten about me", too many "you wish me to? to forget about you?", heavenly murmurs against jawlines of "... never." the slow agonizing first-degree BURNS THIS WOULD GIVE, IM SCREMAAIGN fans self AGGRESSIVELY!!!

COLLEGE AU MY BELOVED. law fits college setting so well... the brooding smart apple of the bunch, ugh. PLEASE I NEED THE NINA BOOK OF LAW LORE!!! respectfully. always. 🙂‍↕️ anyone else residing in your selfship city?! i believe i recall an oc of yours with luffy!? 🥺

also i'm very shy so when i feel boost of courage i will say hi off anon but for now i am throwing stardust everywhere to let you know i was hereee 💫✨🌙

AAAA OKAY OKAY I’ve been holding this in my inbox cause I wanted to form a proper response to you so!!!

No but I would truly love to read anything you come up with like this little blurb you’re sending me is more than enough to keep me satiated!!!

The crush on the painting is so cute especially since you frame it like from a younger perspective and the whole childhood crushes thing has my damn heart there’s nothing more pure and innocent than childhood love!! It’s wrong of the political forces to tear you guys apart yall were soulmates from the start!!

“Not hard finding him, red hair on full display” made me cackle btw I hope you know that. AAAA THE HANDSINESS STOP YOURE GONNA MAKE ME FALL FOR HIM AT THIS RATE TOO!! 😭😭 no but is it wrong for me to think yall have def run off to an abandoned cabin to smash becauseeee 👀👀👀 LMAO

Do you have any ideas of where you want this story to go in terms of like major conflicts in their adult lives? It isn’t really proper for two royals to run off together (no matter how bad I want that to happen!) so what bumps and conflicts do they go through before they get their happily ever after!! Also expect some follow up questions about the wedding cause I love love love weddings!!

Obligatory gonna talk about my stuff under the cut cause I’m SHY but yes!! I have one more resident of my self ship city!! Her name is Rosalie (Luffy calls her Rosie) and she’s a fairy!! In my little lore I have it so fairies are hidden from the world and are only known to the outside via folktales and all that so they’re essentially wiped off the face of the earth, known to no one except probably the gorosei. And the fairies have grown to fear and despise outsiders because they were the ones who attempted to wipe them out before the void century, but Rosalie is a curious fairy and fast forward she has a big crush on on gasp!! A human!!! A pirate nonetheless!! Luffy has her in a chokehold 😔 she gives off Ariel from the little mermaid vibes in terms of personality and she’s like super important to her fairy homeland but I’m not gonna dive too deep into that!! And she has a devil fruit that allows her to control all aspects of nature within her domain AND HERES SOME PICS ENOUGH YAPPING FROM ME!! The first two are from @rainnartt the second two from @noicevibes (everyone commission them btw) and the last one I did!!

[mystudydiary-blog]

I saw your post on friendships and I wanted to let you know, there is nothing wrong with having only one friend. Most people actually only have very few close friends. My Mom has 3 but she's only met two of them in real life. I myself had 1 but we've become distant so now I don't really have any IRL friends anymore.

All of my friendships are online. I cannot even imagine having a friend since childhood, never happened for me. Every time I moved (around 31 times) my entire friendbase would reset to zero and I'd have to start over from scratch.

I've tried time and again to keep in touch with people and make it work. It doesn't. There is nothing wrong with having that one friend as your main friend. There is equally nothing wrong with wanting to hang out with said friend.

If he wants to spend time with his other friends, he'll probably decline an invite. Telling yourself that you're capitalizing his time is not fair to him, let him make his decision on who he wants to hang with and when. It's also not fair to you!

I don't know what happened in your life that put those negative thoughts there, but the thoughts are liars. You're not driving anyone away with them being your 1 friend. If anything, it's a source of pride like "holy heck, I made the cut when no one else did."

He sounds like an extrovert because he has other friends and is always meeting with people. And if he's stuck around with you since y'all were 12, I don't think he's going to bail on you just because you don't have anyone else to hang with. He's stayed with you this long, you're allowed to ask to hang out as friends.

If you're really concerned, and that's legit–I do that too, you could always ask to hang with him AND his other friends. Maybe meet people through him so you can expand your friend base a bit.

You could also try inviting coworkers to hang outside of work, or if you're in school still try to connect with classmates. No one is required to have copious amounts of friends and you gotta question just how close they are if they have 20 friends. The benefit of having just a few is that you get to know each other really well.

Don't sweat the fact you have 1 friend and don't convince yourself you're being a burden or that you're going to drive him away or that you're putting unnecessary pressure on him.

It's on him to communicate if he feels pressured or not. Don't let your negative thoughts control you or your beautiful friendship. Don't sweat it, revel in the fact you have one awesome friend that stuck around from childhood, and be open to meeting new people from school/work or even through your friend.

I wish you the best of luck.

Thank you so much, i really needed to hear this. I don't know why i feel like this because i had a pretty normal childhood but i just can't fathom why anyone would want to be my friend. That's probably a good topic for therapy lol. Sometimes i'm just a bit lonely and it's good to remember that online friends are also valid .

Anyway i'm going to try to go to more events/hobby stuff this year and maybe i'll meet some people there :)

Also i can't imagine having to move 31 times, that must be so difficult!

Thanks again for these kind words, i'll remember it every time i feel a bit down. Hope you have a wonderful day 💕

[progfessor-dyke]

Hiii it's Violet misses her friend again hours!!! I hope you don't mind this little story I'm going to share, because it's something I think of every time I find myself in this state lol. So, back in January, around the New Year, I was hanging out in my sister's room after my friend had logged off for the night. It was only about seven or eight o'clock here, but he's 5 hours ahead of me, so it was around midnight to one in the morning there. This is important.

One thing you should know about me, for context, is that I've moved and changed school districts twice in my life. I moved in fifth grade from one school district to another, and then again between eighth and ninth grade. It's been hard to keep in contact with people from either district throughout high school.

So, my sister is scrolling on social media, and she finds the account of my elementary school classmate's sister, who announced my old classmate's death. Now, I wasn't particularly close with this kid; I spoke with him a couple times in elementary school, being in the same fourth grade class, but his mother was my fifth grade teacher (until I moved). What I do remember is that he was always nice to me, and his mother was a nice woman as well.

To be honest, it took me a moment to set in that this person from my childhood was now dead. In fact, it's been a few months and I'm not entirely sure if it has set in yet. It was a strange feeling. It is a strange feeling. Even though I hadn't seen him in six or seven years, and wasn't even that close in the first place, I knew that we were supposed to be starting our lives, not ending them in car wrecks.

So, in my shock, I messaged my friend on discord because I didn't really know how to react, or what else to do. I knew that we had said our goodnights about an hour before, and wasn't really expecting a response, but to my surprise, he got back to me within ten minutes.

Another thing you should know about me is that my standards for relationships (platonic in this case) are in turbo hell. I never really had a solid group of friends growing up, due to being neurodivergent and moving around a lot, and I certainly never got to the point where I would tell one of my friends about this.

And he got back to me within ten minutes. Not only that, even though he said he wouldn't be able to talk to me that night, he said that was because he wanted to help me in the way I deserved, and that he was thinking of me and that he loved me. What the fuck??? Like I said, my standards are in literal hell. This guy, that I met on this fucking hellsite that I've never met in person is a better friend to me than anyone I've known irl. Which is... sort of pathetic on my part, I suppose? But I guess it's also beautiful in a way; how two people can connect across oceans.

The story doesn't end there, however. The next day, true to his word, he sends me a "care package" (his words, not mine) of concert videos of all my favorite bands. I was in the middle of class when he sent it over, and I was, honestly, completely shocked. I don't think I'll ever forget that kindness. We had a long conversation that night over lots of things, partially about my classmate, partially about whatever we were talking about, but I think that's when I knew I finally had something real.

One last thing you should about me, and it's sort of a combination of moving a lot, never really forming solid friendships, and some issues with my mother (that is a whole 'nother can of worms) is that I have some anxiety around abandonment. I recognize it for what it is now, and do my best to not let it interfere with my relationships, but sometimes I do get anxious, and start trying to mentally prepare myself for the end of a relationship (romantic or platonic). So, I have to recognize I'm spiraling and I have to fight it off. Rereading those messages always grounds me and reminds me that it's all in my head.

I really didn't intend to write this much, but whatever! I feel it's got a good message, I think.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi Cas, if you're okay with it I want your advice on some things.

Okay so I know I'm queer but I'n not quite sure what my labels are. I think I might be oriented aroace (i think thats what it is??) but I'm not sure. I'm 12-16 years old and I've never had a crush on anyone. i think i'm like bisexual/bisexual oriented or something like that? but i have no clue I think people are hot and I have celebrity/fictional crushes but I've never actually like liked someone. I'm also not out so everyone i know irl thinks I'm straight

I'm not very good at making friends so I pretty much have one friend and they're my best friend. They're the best I love them very much but one thing I really don't like is every single time anything queer related comes up or they see anything they always point out i'm straight and start making fun of me for being straight and I never know what to do I really hate it. And I dont want to come out because i dont really want labels (i wouldnt mind labels but i dont want to come out as something because I'm not quite sure what i am yet) and idk i just dont.

But every single time they always have to point out i'm straight. And whenever any straight media or characters or anything like that show up they always start going like ewwww and i cant believe thats up there. And as soon as anything isn't queer they immediately hate it. And i think i'm queer idk. But like if i was or if i was cishet i would still think thats really weird because it is and idk it makes me uncomfortable that they're actively hating on people and not even in a jokey way.

And they were reading a queer book and saw the word 'cisgender' and they were immediately like omg thats you I can't believe you're cis. And I really hate that because there's nothing wrong with being cis. And literally a few months ago they didn't even know what cis meant I had to explain it to them but now they're acting like the fact i'm not trans is a negative thing.

And i just think all of this is so odd and I hate it and I don't know what to do. I really hate confrontational things like this so no way I'll have the courage to tell them to stop because wtf?? But whenever they start saying bad things about a cis person I always say there's nothing wrong with that but they don't seem to get it.

Anyways those parts were kind of a vent rather than advice because I know a lot of the time you tell people to set boundaries but I hate talking about my feelings and stuff and I don't know if i'd be able to do that. But if you have anything else then please tell me because idk.

Also I'm so so so confused about my sexuality and I know I don't need labels but i still want to know or at least have an idea so if you have any idea then idk please mention it idk

Sorry that was really long I have more stuff but I'll send it later because I don't want to bother you too much. I always want to send you asks for advice because I feel so much better afterwards but I never really get around to it. Anyways no pressure you don't have to reply to this but if you do please don't answer this ask but instead make it a post and adress it to me because I know some people on tumblr who view your blog and idk. Anyways you're always so kind and thoughtful to everyone else so remember to show love to yourself and take care no pressure <3

-default anon

Hi!

Yeah, I think sometimes people act this way as a joke but then get carried away and it's turned into a Thing. Instead of confronting them, could you maybe play stupid and ask questions. "Oh, what's wrong with cis people? What's wrong with straight people? When did I tell you I was straight? Oh I met a really nice cis person once." Etc. Like question their actions in a nonconfrontational way.

Sadly, I can't just pick labels for you <3 I do want to reassure you though that sometimes it just takes time and self-discovery to figure it out. It's okay not to know and it's okay to figure it out as you go! You don't have to already have picked out the gender you want to marry before you even go on a date. You're young, and you're allowed to (for lack of a better word) experiment.

[emerysnonsense]

for the ask game 1. what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are? 5. what made you start your blog? 7. what scares you the most and why? 16. if you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? 20. favourite things about the night? 24. what’s one thing you’re proud of yourself for? 34. any pet peeves?

1. what are 3 things you'd say shaped you into who you are?

there's a lot of things, both negative and positive. I'd say mostly the people I met online and irl and I mean that in both a good and a bad way. the next thing would be books, films, music, games... all that stuff. I tend to get lost in stories a lot to the point where I mirror a character's emotions, so it wouldn't surprise me if it had a big effect on me. lastly, my living environment. I live in a small town with a lot of nature. it's safe here. I have a comfortable life and that's worth so much. I don't doubt that I'd be different if I lived somewhere else or under different circumstances

5. what made you start your blog?

I've started this blog because I found a community I wanted to be part of on this platform. I didn't post much at first, but then I met people and got comfortable

7. what scares you the most and why?

I've thought about that a lot over the years tbh. I'm still not entirely sure how to put it into words. I guess the simple version of it is, I'm scared people who liked me at some point will start viewing me in a bad way. I'm scared of my friends turning on me. I overthink a lot, even my happy memories turn embarrassing at some point. I can't stand it when people around me are whispering or laugh without me knowing what's going on, because I'll automatically assume they're making fun of me. it has happened before. multiple times

16. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

I'd want to get rid of my anxiety, get more confidence. does that count as one thing?

20. favourite things about the night?

it's comfortable. everything is quiet and I can just relax. I like stargazing, walking around at night and just existing without anyone bothering me

24. what's one thing you're proud of yourself for?

a difficult question tbh. I've never achieved much. if I have to say one thing, I'd say I like helping people. is that something you can be proud of? I'm not sure if I have anything else

34. any pet peeves?

it annoys me when someone ruins their book pages, like when they get creases or tears because they're not careful. also loud breathing and chewing sounds. can't stand it