#even if i work out for ten years the things i hate will never change 🥴🥴
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lesbiansanemi · 2 months ago
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I'm so tired
#not to come on here just to complain and feel sorry for myself especially because i know things are so much worse for so many other ppl#but as hard as i'm trying it's hard to believe things will be okay i'm trying so hard not to fall into defeatist attitudes#but fuck man. fuck. it's not even that i'm surprised or anything it's just. man#i want to curl up in a ball and just be comforted and cry and be upset but i can't do that and i have no one to do that#my worker's comp payments aren't coming through like they're supposed to and i have like ten dollars and barely any food in the apartment#my injuries aren't getting better the pain is still there even though i'm doing everything i'm supposed to#my meds aren't working but meds have NEVER worked on me and i keep hoping and praying some day i'll find one that will but i fear they won'#i have more psych testing in january but a part of me worries about doing it because if (when) i test positive for certain things it will b#on my record and considering..... the state of things i worry about what that means for me and my autonomy esp regarding anything medical#i still can't convince any doctors to take my issues that are almost CERTAINLY endometriosis seriously and again.... given the state of thi#i find it very hard to believe that will change and will in fact only get worse and i will never be able to get any kind of sterilization o#hysterectomy and if something ever ended up happening and i DID get pregnant well. it would not be good for me#i feel very alone and like i need to and must handle everything on my own but i feel like i'm about to break doing that#and then this. this. this this this this. i know it's not fair to be upset about it. like i said things are so much worse for so many other#but fuck dude. fuck man. mentally i have not been doing good recently and nothing has happened in my life to really help that recently#i want to go back to being so repressed i genuinely felt/believed i was emotionless this was not a good year for the dam to break#i told my therapist the other day that i feel like a toddler. i was so repressed and emotionless for as long as i can remember#so i never learned to deal with big ugly and overwhelming emotions. so i react as a child still learning would because i never got the#chance to learn how to manage them and FUCK MAN i feel like i'm losing it#i know it's important to do what you can and not fall into overly negative mindsets but that's not something i was good at anyways#and now it's even harder but i'm trying. fuck dude i'm trying so hard i want to be hopeful i want to do what i can#i don't want to hate everything and jump immediately to wanting to kms or destroying my whole life because what's the point#i just. holy fuck. man i need a minute to breathe and i wish i had someone physically here to hold me and tell me it's okay#but i don't have that so i'll be a big girl and sort myself out like usual and just hope i don't break yet#i'm gonna go watch anime and try and read fic to distract myself but mannnnnnnn i feel like i'm losing it#kaz rambles
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luveline · 6 months ago
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Jade can I please get a chatty af yapper sunshine girlfriend with Sirius?? Like May be someone tells her she talks a lot so she's super quiet around him cuz she's worried he'll get annoyed and break up with her but poor Sirius he misses his chatty girl and just angst with fluff
thank you for requesting! fem, 1.4k
James Potter means well. Honestly, you don’t think he has a mean bone in his body, so you try not to take it to heart. 
Unfortunately, your attempts to do so don’t work. They really, unquestionably don’t. By the time you’re outside of Sirius’ flat that afternoon, James’ small comment is all you can think of. 
“You’re so chatty I’m surprised you don’t run out of breath,” he’d said. Not without love. You’d bumped into him in Sainsbury’s and ended up talking for ages about one thing or another, you know him well, you’d even say you were friends, though he’s of course Sirius’ friend rather than your own. “But I’m the same. God, Sirius used to hate how much I talked, he’d be sick of me. I think I numbed him to it over the years.” 
You can’t imagine it. Sirius and James are best friends. With Remus, they’re the most in love threesome of friends you’ve ever met, and it’s nice; it makes you very proud to have a boyfriend who cares for others as deeply as Sirius cares for them. It’s like a constant demonstration of how he’s a good man. 
But you’d never stopped to consider that they weren’t always so seamless, and you’ve regrettably never considered that your constant talking is something that could put him off. 
You talk to Sirius about everything. There isn’t a word to describe the excitement of having someone waiting to listen to you every single night. You could tell him every detail of a day down to what colour socks you wore and you know he’ll sit there listening with his hand on the small of your back, or his fingers twined between yours. You’ve never felt so loved as to be able to just talk about everything and have him talk back. 
But… what if, this whole time, he’s been wishing for a little bit of quiet? 
What if eventually, the talking becomes too much? 
He must be with you for a reason. You aren’t holding the poor guy hostage, he acts like he’s mad for you ninety percent of the time (while the other ten percent is spent sleeping on your shoulder). 
Like now —you knock his door and you can hear him scrambling up from the sofa, the sound of a book dislodged or a remote hitting the rug, you’re not sure. The door yanks open and Sirius smiles at you, pulling you in through the gap with a familiar hand on your hip. 
“Hey,” Sirius says, tucking you against his side, “hey, did you get lovelier over the weekend?” He shoves the door closed and gives you a hug with one arm, pausing in the hall. “Sorry I couldn’t see you. I don’t think we should miss another weekend.” 
You have a lot to tell him. It’s been ages since you spent nearly three days apart, but James’ conversation stays at the front of your mind. 
You decide to be less overwhelming, but not less loving, curling your arm behind his head to pull his cheek down for a kiss. “I don’t think so, either.” 
Sirius tilts his head away from you in an invitation for more kissing. 
You’re at home in his flat. You take off your shoes and hang up your jacket. You change into a pair of jogging bottoms with loose legs and let him hoist you onto his bed for a few stolen kisses, though he isn’t propositioning you, and you end up laying across his bedspread with one of your legs in his lap as he tells you about his days without you, his thumb sliding with pressure down your calf. 
“Mostly I wished I’d asked you to come over anyways, even if it was just to sleep together at the end of the day. Maybe next time we can do that?” he asks. 
“Of course we can.” You smile at him indulgently. “I’d come over for twenty minutes if it was all I could get.” 
“Or I can come to you,” he says, “even if it’s just twenty minutes.” 
He smiles, a beaming thing, and leans down slowly for a soft kiss. 
“So,” he asks, his breath on your lips, “how was your weekend? Lonely?” 
“So lonely,” you tease lightly, eyes fluttering closed as he continues his massaging of your leg. “But it was okay. I missed you, really, and didn’t do much else.”
“No?” he asks. 
Your voice takes on a shine as he squeezes your knee, “Missed your hands.”  
“I missed your everything.” He grabs for your forearms and pulls you into a sitting position. “But everything was okay?” he asks more seriously. 
“Everything was fine.” 
He raises his eyebrows, but eventually lets them relax. “Well, okay. Good, sweetheart, I’m glad it was okay.” 
He persuades you into the kitchen to sit with him as he makes dinner, refusing to let you help, and yet insisting you be there in the same room, as though you’d like to be anywhere else. Sirius makes your favourite of his usual rotation, offering you spoonfuls for tasting, gaps of silence stretching as he struggles to find new conversation. You start answering his questions but remember time and time again that Sirius could become totally sick of you. He might already be. 
Sirius puts the food on a low heat and washes his hands. He wipes them dry, but when he takes your face, dampness lines the inside of his fingers. 
“I’d like for you to tell me what’s wrong,” he says gently, stroking at the line of your startled frown, “before it gets worse. Do you want to talk about it?” 
“Nothing’s wrong.” 
“Please don’t, lovely. If I’ve done something wrong, please tell me. I want us to last forever, and we can’t do that if you won’t tell me when I upset you.” 
“It wasn’t you,” you say instinctively, then regret it. 
“So someone has?” he asks, still so gentle as his hands coast down your neck like he’s sculpting you, coming to rest on the slopes leading to your shoulders. “You can tell me anything. You don’t have to keep it to yourself… please.” 
“Are you sure?” 
“Sweetheart.” He frowns deeply. Couldn’t look more upset. “Of course I’m sure. Why wouldn’t I be?” 
You chew it over, not wanting or willing to cause ructions between Sirius and his oldest friend. “Well, I saw James today at the shop, and… we were talking about you…” 
He waits. “And?” 
“And he told me you– you don’t like talking. That you didn’t like talking, that James used to make you sick of it. So I know I talk too much and you’ve never made me feel like I shouldn’t, but I guess I got into my head thinking you’d get sick of me, too.” 
“When we were younger I didn’t like much of anything.” He curls an arm behind your neck to hold you in place, but it’s not a dominant sort of movement, only protective as your noses inch together. “Did you ever read that poem by Bukwoski? Let It Enfold You?” 
“What?” 
“I’m not very good at explaining myself. I thought if you knew the poem, you’d–” He laughs near your cheek. “I hated everything. It wasn’t James’ fault. He did make me sick of it sometimes, but I just wanted to hide from everything.” He breathes out slowly. “I’ve never wanted to hide from you. I can’t get sick of you. Do you get that? I can’t get sick of you. Listening to you is the best part of my day, you’re my personal chatterbox.” 
“Chatterbox,” you repeat teasingly. 
“You could talk for Wales,” he says. “And I love it, I don’t want you to stop, because I’ll never be sick of it.”
“I don’t want it to be some secret resentment.”
“I don’t resent you for anything. I knew exactly who you were when we met and I love it.” He takes your face again. “I love it,” he repeats. 
You steal a little kiss against the corner of his lips. “What was the poem?” you ask. 
“I’ll find my book, and you can read it to me. What do you think?” He takes a slow kiss as you had in the same place, words like honey. “I miss your voice.” 
He’s basically pleading. It’s not like Sirius to plead, but you pull it out of him. 
“Can I have my dinner first?” 
“The one I made while you deprived me?” he asks. “Yes, if you must.” 
He takes another kiss, but you’re happy to give it. 
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catboyrightsdefender · 1 year ago
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there are no words to express how much i hate my body
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chatsukimi · 7 months ago
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ᴘᴀɪɴᴛ & ᴘʀᴏᴍɪꜱᴇ
featuring: needy!gojosatoru, childhoodfriend!gojosatoru. precious. fluff!, minute jealousy synopsis: you put makeup on your childhood best friend. you learn that he is more than you anticipated. masterlist
you think you know everything about gojo satoru. you'd seen him as a child, two years younger than you, get scolded by his parents for sending a senile sorcerer to hospital. you were there when he first activated limitless and pummelled you accidentally in the face.
safe to say, nothing surprises you anymore. not even when he teleports into your room on the night of your date without even a knock and grabs you by the shoulders to turn you and your chair around.
"oi, stop that."
you strangle him off you. he only grins.
"sure thing." he shrugs, before bending down to inspect you more closely. "what have you got on your face?"
you put the bottle of setting spray down. "makeup."
he ruffles his tousled white hair, windblown. "ah? makeup. are you meeting someone?" he grins halfheartedly, scanning your room for any changes since you last met.
"i am."
"it's about time. i've already dated loads of people," he boasts, his eyes lingering on the powder and blush on the table.
you roll your eyes. "of course you have." you lay on the finishing touches to your face. you notice him watching.
rule one about gojo satoru, when he stares, he's interested. as you grew older, it became harder under those pitch black shades of his to detect where he's staring, but when he really wants something, it's obvious.
you lift a brush. "you want me to do makeup on you?"
he shakes his head.
rule two about satoru gojo, he never says what he's thinking.
you stand up, gesturing at the bed. "sit down." without a word, the boy listens to your command, ready to try something new.
you can't say you're unhappy to try doing makeup on him. you had some spare time left and that beautiful canvas of a face is nothing but to die for. putting makeup on him would be fun.
"i'll have to take off your glasses. may i?"
he sniffs.
rule three about gojo, he pretends to hate it when people ask to take his glasses off, but he secretly likes it. you know. it makes him feel seen, more human.
"do it yourself."
you nod.
taking his sunglasses off, you revel in the familiar ocean which faces you.
another two facts about satoru is that he can't keep still and he can't stop yapping. shaking his leg in tandem with the news from his mouth, the movement makes you shoot him a frustrated glare, distracted.
half to shut him up, the other half to make him pay attention, you grip his jaw in place. your eyes lock. soon enough, he'll probably look away to inspect some other object of interest; he's known you for years, after all. nothing new.
as you work, you think to yourself.
gojo... he's really grown up, hasn't he? in careful brushstrokes, you drag the eyeliner gently to form a wing with the tip of the pen. your eyes narrowed in concentration, you haven't noticed the shallow breath which tumbles from his mouth.
"pretty."
you blink.
gojo satoru scoots closer to you, so that his gorgeous azure eyes are inches from yours. they are widened in awe.
in all these years, you can count on one hand the number of times this genius has focused on anything longer than five-ten seconds. sure, going to jujutsu high has stretched that time out slightly, but it's nothing compared to this.
you know what rule one says about his behaviour, but you couldn't believe it.
he reaches up to brush the hair from your face. unblinking, unwavering, as though memorising everything, the outline of your nose to the singular dashes which form an eyelash, he stares at you.
it is the first step from a boy to a man.
"you are... really, really, pretty."
"says you," you say, almost pushing his hands away.
he sinks his fingers against yours, clasping them in a bone-tight grip.
"you are," he asserts. "how come i've never noticed?" he mutters, furious.
um. you turn to look the other way. the heat of his stare is scalding. nevertheless, the strongest refuses to back down.
"i should've noticed, shouldn't i? and now you're all dressed up with your make-up to meet some other guy." he pouts.
truth be told, you are silenced. this is not the gojo you recognise. in a swift move, he carries you from the vanity to the bed. the display of strength startles you.
"don't go," he whines into your shoulder, shifting you with his strong arms to nuzzle himself into your chest. you did so often when you were younger but-
"stay." he pauses, letting each syllable cascade from his beautiful lips like a bell, ringing crystal clear. "stay with me."
stay with him.
you think you know everything about gojo satoru. you remember the way he begged for a break amidst his pre-adolescent training sessions. you remember the empty hallways of the gojo estate and his silent footsteps, how they left him behind to carry the world on his shoulders.
awaiting your answer, gojo feels his heart beating out of his chest. what if you leave? what if you choose your date over him? what if-
"why?"
he stares up at you again. truly shameless.
"because i want you to." he turns stern. "or else, i'll tell your friend that you didn't actually have work that day you decided to ditch her little meet-up and i'll-"
out of nowhere, a laugh breaks out of you. he frowns.
but then, you press a soft kiss on his cheek, another one on the slope of his nose, which -truth be told- didn't need the contour you'd gracefully put on it, and the strongest sorcerer in the world relaxes to your touch.
moments like these, satoru still manages to surprise you.
"i'll stay."
"promise?" he holds up a pinkie.
"come on, satoru, we're not children anymore."
his eyebrows scrunch together so you finally relent.
"ok."
you link your pinkie to his.
"promise."
getting comfortable, you shoot a text at your friend to move the date to another day.
"i knew you'd stay. you can't stand when i throw a tantrum," he suddenly begins to mumble against your skin. your eyes widen. "i know you... better than anyone..." his eyelids are dragging under the weight of sleepiness.
perhaps you didn't know everything about satoru after all.
gojo opens his eyes, seeing you fully. "i know you can't stand me being alone."
perhaps he knew more about you than you had thought possible.
on second thoughts, you grab your phone from your bedside table, typing up a message you send without a second thought.
sorry. something came up. i might not be able to meet with you next week either. thank you for your patience, but i think i've found someone who i want to stick by forever.
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lqveharrington · 2 months ago
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Golden Snitch | R.L.
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summary: you convince remus to dress up together and everyone LOVES the costumes
pairing: remus lupin x fem!reader
includes: underage drinking, cursing, kissing, Sirius and reader behaving like siblings, overall fluff
a/n: poll is releasing tmr to vote for this or the draco one!
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Although Remus wasn’t big on dressing up for Halloween, you absolutely adored it. Since your childhood, you always looked forward to the holiday and the tacky outfits from the spirit store down the street. Since Remus’ childhood, the holiday only reminded him that everyone found werewolves terrifying as death itself.
But you made sure to change all his horrid memories to good ones the second you met.
Over the years, you slowly coaxed Remus into dressing up and having fun on Halloween, especially when his best friends threw the Gryffindor party every year. When you began dating, the costumes you made him wear became couple costumes. Some of your favorites being Phantom of the Opera, Beauty and the Beast, and The Great Gatsby.
This year — your final year at Hogwarts — you wanted to wear something that would be talked about for years. You wanted something so spectacular that it would be remembered. Luckily, you had just the couples costume in mind.
“Remind me again, why do you need a quidditch uniform?” James threw a curious look to Remus who was currently reading Little Women, a book you made him read for entertainment purposes. “If you’re telling me you’re joining the quidditch team during your last year, I’ll go bloody mad.”
“I’m not.” Remus flicked the page and sipped on his tea beside him, glancing at James from the corner of his eye. “Just need to borrow one.”
Remus, James, and Sirius have gone through this dance about ten times. Each one ending in the talk of the latest play before James sobered up and asked about the uniform again. It was a never ending cycle of bickering.
Sirius threw a crumpled piece of plastic at Remus’ head as the painting opened up, earning a loud sigh from the boy himself. “Yeah, but why do you need to borrow one?”
“Don’t throw stuff at Remus, Black.” You huff and make your way over to the trio, flashing your loving boyfriend a smile as his hand made their way to your hip. “What did they do this time?”
“Why are you assuming we did something?”
“Yeah, we’re saints!” Sirius dropped down on the couch beside Remus, sending you an oh-so innocent smile.
You roll your eyes at him and flash him your favorite finger, “Says the devil himself.”
“Hey—!”
“They were asking why I needed a quidditch uniform.” Remus cut Sirius off before you two could argue for the nth time.
It was like you two were always fighting over him — which he had to admit — was funny to see unfold each time. Remus laced his other hand with yours and returned your attention back to him, thumb rubbing your pulse point.
“How’s your thing going?” He murmured when you sat beside him and rested your head on his shoulder, shifting his body to block Sirius from your sight.
You shrug, “Lily and I have been working on it. We’ll be done even before the holiday.”
“You two are so ominous, I don’t like it.” James shuddered, which earned a glare from you and an eye roll from Remus. “What? It’s obvious you two are planning something and not telling us.”
“Okay, well, I’m done with this conversation.” You sighed and pressed a quick kiss to Remus’ lips, looking like the love sick fool that you were. “I love you, and I’ll see you in a bit.”
You made quick steps up the girls’ dorm after Remus reciprocated the notion and left the three boys back to their dwelling.
“Why does she hate us and love you?” Sirius grumbled and popped a jelly bean into his mouth, grimacing at the flavor and spitting it out.
“Maybe because she’s dating him and not us?” James threw him an annoyed look.
Remus blocked out their bickering and went back to reading. He loved you and you loved him, and that’s all he needed to know. Besides, it was the boys who practically begged him to ask you out since first year. They knew he was smitten with you the second you both met on the train.
Eventually, James did lend Remus an unused quidditch uniform while you and Lily finished your costume for Halloween. The only thing left to do was perfect the actual look and win the couples contest.
“Hell, are you dressing up as one of our quidditch players for Halloween?” Sirius raised his brows in surprise as Remus shuffled out of the bathroom with said uniform on. “Which Gryffindor did you dress up as?”
“No one.” Remus replied in a bored manner and adjusted the leather gloves he had on. “I’m just a quidditch player.”
“Uh-huh. So you definitely didn’t dress as Prongs or I?”
“No.”
Sirius gave him an unimpressed look and shrugged on his vest for his Indiana Jones costume. “Whatever you say… Anyway, Prongs and the rest of them are already down there and I’m not waiting for you any longer if you’re going to gel your hair back.”
“Yeah, I’m going.” He grumbled and adjusted his uniform before following Sirius down the stairs and into the ongoing Halloween party.
The red lights flickered about as the music practically shook the entire room. Remus scanned the vicinity for you, struggling until Sirius almost dropped dead at the sight of you. It was the same reaction everyone had to seeing you dressed in… That.
“Holy fuck. Your girlfriend is wearing the shortest dress in existence.” Sirius gaped and earned a smack to the head from Remus.
Remus watched you dance and jump with Lily, eyes shining bright with joy when they met his. You beamed so bright and almost elbowed everyone in your way to make it to him. He caught you in his arms as you kissed him senseless, hands coming to rest on his cheeks.
“Hey, dovey.” He finally spoke when you both parted for air, thumbing your jaw softly. “You look absolutely stunning in gold.”
“Of course, I do, Rem! I’m a Gryffindor!” You laugh and eyes his outfit like he was a three course meal. “It’s interesting seeing you dressed in quidditch robes for the first time.”
“Yeah?” He continued to thumb your jaw in a doting manner. “Well if I did play, I plan on you being the snitch every game. I wouldn’t play otherwise.”
You tilt your head and meet his eyes with so much love. Now that you and Remus were standing together, your costumes made so much sense. It wasn’t just a quidditch player and a golden fairy, it was a seeker and the golden snitch. Sirius looked between the both of you before gasping and clapping his hands in realization, those around you looking over as well.
“Aren’t you two the cutest pair!” He gushed and pinched Remus’ cheek at the revelation.
Smacking Sirius’ hand away, you rested your chin on Remus’s shoulder to prevent him from doing such thing again. Remus laughed at you two and rubbed your back.
“You know, Marlene is looking for you, Siri.” You practically shout over the loud music.
“Is she?” He perked up at the mention of the girl he had been talking to recently. “Well then… I will catch up with you two later.”
You waited a little longer before laughing loudly at your own doing. Was Marlene really looking for him? No, but Sirius was always there whenever you wanted to be alone with Remus. Before you could stop laughing, Remus swatted your ass playfully in response to the poor prank.
“Hey—!” You pout jokingly, laughing again when Remus shook his head at you with an upturned smile.
As the night carried on, the crowd grew bigger, the music louder, and the drinks more alcoholic. It got to the point where you and Remus were too drunk to be the responsible ones in the group. Oddly enough, you both drank more than anyone else in the group.
However, you both won the couples costume contest and — for some reason no one could explain the next day — you decided to give a speech to the mass of Gryffindors in the common room about winning the contest. It wasn’t your proudest moment, but it was your last year.
Clambering on top of the wooden tables, you stumbled over your own legs as Remus tried to stabilize you. Lily, who was the responsible one for the night, rubbed her forehead in exasperation. She didn’t want to necessarily stop you. You were a whiny drunk, and it would be impossible to stop you from something you wanted to do.
“Wait wait — hiccup — I would like to thank the committee,” You hold your red cup close to your chest, your cheeks almost as bright as the cup. “Lily Evans — hiccup — the quidditch team, and my ever so loving boyfriend — hiccup — for making this all possible!” You throw your arms in the air, earning cheers from the crowd.
“What committee?” Sirius looked at Lily with a confused look, pointing between him and James. “Us?”
She shrugged and watched you jump down from the table, snickering when Remus nearly had a heart attack from your way of getting down. She made sure you both were okay before returning to James’ side, pointing you both out to him.
“You’re gonna be the — hiccup — death of me.” Remus tucked his head in between your neck and shoulder, nudging his nose on your exposed skin. “Don’t do that.”
“M’sorry.” You giggle and stumble slightly at the weight being put on you. “You baby.”
He kissed your cheek, “No.”
“Yeah.”
“No.” He dragged you over to the dormitory stairs. “Hi.”
You giggle and trace the scars on his face, “Hey.”
“You’re cute.” He melted into your hands and pecked your palm. “Really really cute.”
“You wanna know a secret, Rem?” You murmur and hiccup when he tugged you impossibly closer. “I promise it’s really cool.”
“What is it?” He pressed kisses everywhere he could, putting more attention to your lips.
“I love you.” You whisper against his lips and fully kiss him, the taste of firewhisky strong. “So much.”
He smiled into the kiss and parted briefly, thumbing your lip. “You want to know my secret, dovey?”
“What?” You look up and meet the hazel eyes you’ve come to love.
“I love you more.”
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my-castles-crumbling · 2 months ago
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train - Jegulus Microfic - @into-the-jeggyverse - word count: 474
"I used to believe in love at first sight. My parents always told me this story about how the first time they saw each other, they knew. And I thought that same thing would happen to me. Maybe that's why I bothered Evans for years, even though we obviously were not meant for each other.
"But the first time I saw you, it wasn't love. It was a ten-second 'hello' on the train, and I was much more focused on playing pranks on unsuspecting Slytherins with my mates. I didn't know at the time that I'd just met the person that would change my life, you know? But I did, and Gods I feel like I wasted that moment.
"But maybe...Can 'love at first sight' happen later? I think so. Remember that Quidditch game during my sixth year, your fifth? That was my 'love at first sight.' When you looked at me like you absolutely hated me and told me if I got anywhere near you, you'd knock me off my broom. Gods, that was so hot. I couldn't look away at that moment, really. Couldn't look away ever again.
"And then, of course, I panicked. Because I couldn't possibly be in love with you. No! Not that loving you is bad, obviously! It's bloody perfect! It's just, you know, you're a boy, and you're you, and, erm. Yeah. Anyway.
"When I realized it was going to take a lot of work to even get you to look at me, I didn't even care because I knew you were worth it, and we're worth it, and honestly, I'm always right. Because you are worth it, and we're obviously worth it, because you make me so happy. Like so happy. I've never been happier, honestly, like I don't shut up about you, it really annoys people, I think and- oh. Yeah I'm doing it again.
"Which is why I'm here, obviously. You've shown me that love isn't a stupid love at first sight fairy tale, it's so much better. Every day I spend loving you is better than the last, and all I want to do is make you happy. And plus, you're so beautiful and you make my heart melt and I think I would combust if I could call you my husband. So..maybe...would you marry me, Regulus? Please? Because I think I'll die if I can't be your husband."
Staring down at James, Regulus's brain was short-circuiting, so much so that all he could think to say was, "You really mentioned Evans in you proposal, James?"
But tears were flowing and he jumped into his boyfriend's arms before he could respond properly, kissing him soundly on the lips, almost knocking the ring out of his shaking hands.
"Yes, James. Of course I'll marry you, you idiot," Regulus whispered, grinning from ear to ear.
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writingouthere · 1 year ago
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neighbor!Sukuna x singlemom!reader. In the aftermath of your apartment flooding, Sukuna makes you a deal that is too good to pass up. You don't fully know what you're agreeing to, but if you did would it have really changed anything? Reader POV
cw: Sukuna may seem like just a nice guy stepping up but really he's a red flag you're just too tired to see. It's hinted reader has not been treated well in the past but no specifics.
You hadn't known what to do when you woke up to the sound of rushing water. You had acted on instinct and grabbed your daughter from the room next to yours and stood in the kitchen, calling your landlord from the number on your lease to no avail. Your daughter was starting to get fussy and after the fourth attempt with no answer, you felt lost.
Your ex hadn't exactly been the reliable type and he probably would have just contributed by cursing and complaining about shitty landlords and even shittier affordable housing but that wouldn't have helped then and thinking about it wasn't helping you now. Single, alone with your daughter who was growing more disgruntled by the minute.
You hated to even consider but, there was someone who you kept coming back to that you thought could help.
Sukuna.
The tattooed man across the hallway hadn't struck you as the friendly type, but he had proved you wrong in the few months since you moved in. He looked like the type of guy you would cross the street to avoid, but he always had time to stop and talk to you when he saw you. He also always made it a point to say hello to your daughter and listen to her rambles, even when they didn't make sense to you.
Your other neighbors had warned you about him. Stories that included threats and assaults you just couldn't connect to the man who had taken you and your daughter to the aquarium when your piece of shit ex bailed on you both, again.
You had googled him afterwards and what you saw was pages and pages that included things like attempted, suspected and scarier words like murder, hospitalized and other things that just didn't fit with the man you were still getting to know.
The water was still falling and once your daughter started waking up, you called it and went over to the maybe scary man across the hall, who never scared you.
Within ten minutes, you found yourself in Sukuna's guest room while he stayed behind at your apartment to figure everything out. When was the last time someone told you, "I got it." You were always the responsible one. You were the mom friend, the girlfriend people liked to introduce to their parents. You had basically parented yourself!
But now, there was someone who told you that, "I got it."
So who could blame you for going along with what came next. When the next morning came and Sukuna told you that your super had come too late and the apartment was damage and you couldn't stop yourself from putting your head in your hands as your daughter happily munched on the pancakes he had made you both.
"What am I going to do," you groaned and you couldn't help but lean in when Sukuna placed his hand on your cheek.
"He said he would put you up in a hotel until it can be fixed," he said gently and you sighed. You envisioned the next several months in some shitty motel with no kitchen, sharing a lumpy bed with your two year-old, disrupting the routines you had been trying so hard to build as a single mom. No more afternoon trips to the park that was less than a block away. No more feeding the ducks with your leftover veggies or sharing pick up duties with the other moms at the daycare by your work.
"This sucks, I don't want to have to build my life all over again." And you really didn't. This was so frustrating and over what, a little water damage?
"Well," Sukuna started and he tilted your head so you were looking at him. "I do have the guest room. You could move some of your stuff over here and camp out until it's fixed. Pocket the hotel money, use it for something for the kid."
"Oh, I couldn't impose on you like that-"
"I wouldn't offer if it was an imposition," he said, his eyes glinting and for just a second you could see a little of the danger your neighbors had told you about, but then it was gone and he was leaning over you to take another pancake from the serving tray and putting it on your daughter's empty plate.
"It's not just for you, I would-I would feel a lot better knowing the both of you were taken care of. I doubt the hotel that-" he cut off looking over at your daughter, "you know is putting you up in is going to be the safest place for the two of you."
You couldn't believe you were considering it but you were so tired. You felt like life had just become a series of less than ideal circumstances you were forced to deal with just because you didn't want to settle for the wrong guy or give your daughter less than she deserved.
"I would pay rent," you said and he looked ready to argue but you held up your hand. He smiled, amused and gestured go on. "Just until they can fix the apartment and if we get to be too much tell me. We can tough it out in a hotel. We've dealt with worse," you added and he frowned before nodding.
"Deal." He turned to look at your daughter and smiled. "You hear that bug, you and mommy are moving in." Your daughter giggled and clapped her syrup covered hands.
"Temporarily," you reminded him and he smiled at you.
"Right, let's go grab the stuff you'll need while you're here temporarily." He went grabbed a towel and wiped your daughters hands while she kept laughing and chanting "move in, move in!"
Is it your fault that you didn't know that your circumstances were anything but temporary?
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safination · 6 months ago
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The Second Time Around
|Masterlist|
Alastor shakes his head, chucking a little. Each puff of his laughter cranes your head up and down. “Mother would strangle me if she learned what I’m doing with you,” he says. “Oh, she would go bonkers and grab my ears, telling me I was raised better than this.” “What exactly are you doing to me besides lulling me into sleep after filling my belly with the most exquisite food.” “We’re living together.” You pull away, looking at him to motion to the house. “Sweetheart, I hate to break it to you, but we’ve been living together for the past two years. Well, ten if you count our life up top,” you say with a snicker. “Living together is the least sinful thing we’ve done together!” Alastor shakes his head, pushing you up to your feet. TLDR: Alastor prides himself in being a gentleman, yet here he is now, living with his not-really wife but still his wife without rings around your fingers. It’s time he changed that.
Just a small little fic. I'm working on some requests right now, so to those who requested, I didn't forget about you, don't worry <3
ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ
Alastor adjusts his hold, securing your body with a firm hold as he carries you on his back. The pads of his thumb go up and down the skin of your leg, and each movement lulls you deeper into him.
Strands of his hair brush your cheek when you rest your chin on his shoulder. They caress your skin every time Alastor takes a step, humming a song as he walks down the street. It’s a familiar tune.
Night-time air blows cold, even in Hell. Despite already wearing Alastor’s coat, the breeze forces you to sink deeper into his back. It’s warm—he’s warm.
The pads of your fingers draw circles on his dress-shirt as you press yourself into him. Closer…the desire to be closer never ends. It’s like a never-ending fire that consumes you with every touch. How unfair of Alastor to hold this kind of power over you.
It's funny—hilarious, even.
The same scent of detergent emanates from your clothes, but there’s this undertone in Alastor’s coat. It’s a whole mix of different scents but to you, it’s just Alastor. Nothing less and nothing more. How can the same batch of laundry produce such a different smell? 
There’s a metaphor somewhere there that Alastor can probably find. Your clothes. His clothes. The same smell of laundry detergent, but each piece holds a different whiff.
You tighten your grip on Alastor’s shoulders, steading yourself to lean back and stare at the sky.
The sudden shift of weight causes Alastor to stumble back. His leg shoots out to keep your bodies stable. Still, you lean your head back to watch the reddened sky. Clouds filter across its red canvas, prompted by the cooled winds of Hell.
“Dearest…if we fall, I will blame you.” Alastor scowls, and the faintest of static emits due to his annoyance. It’s something he’s still learning to control, and you let this offense pass…for now.
“We?” you echo, smiling into his shoulder. “Does this mean you would fall into the ground with me, my love?”
“Perhaps…,” Alastor begins, keeping his eyes ahead, “…I…I should skip a few steps and drop you right now. Oh, that would be quite the hilarious sight! Just the thing to end the night.”
A laugh escapes into the air and echoes across the dirty streets. You crash your weight forward, pressing your chest against his back.
Alastor stumbles forward, catching himself just in time to keep your bodies from falling. “I will actually drop you if you continue this childish behavior of yours.”
You settle yourself on Alastor’s back and press a small kiss on his shoulder. “My feet are starting to feel better. You don’t need to carry me,” you begin but wrap your arms around his neck, “my darling…my sweetest, sweetheart.”
“It’s you who insisted on wearing these blasted shoes. I told you to wear practical ones.” Alastor makes a face, pointing his nose into the air…but still, he presses his lips down on the skin of your arm. “I would say, ‘It paints me to tell you so’ but we both know that isn’t true.”
“Then don’t say it.”
“Dearest.”
“Yes?”
“I told you so,” Alastor says, and despite him looking away, you can practically see the smile on his face. “It doesn’t pain me to do so at all. Actually, it brings me great joy knowing I was correct.”
“I hate you.” The words are mumbled into his back.
“Now, now,” Alastor says. “We both know that’s a lie.”
“Al…I love you.”
“I know,” he tells you, pressing another kiss on your arm. “I love you.”
“That’s sweet but if you truly loved me, you would have told me we’d be dancing after dinner,” you say, banging your forehead on his back with a small huff. It’s a poor attempt to hide your shy smile. “Go on then, drop me if carrying your wife bothers you so much.”
Alastor keeps his eyes ahead as he walks, angling his head to connect with you. “That’s quite the ridiculous notion, considering we’re already home.”
You try to slip out of Alastor’s hold.
“Dearest, we’re still at the gate,” he says, shaking your body to force you to wrap around his neck tightly. “We haven’t reached the door yet—sit still.”
“Al, I can walk the rest of the way,” you tell him but still…you settle back into his hold. “The door is right there.”
Alastor keeps silent, intent on walking to the entrance of your home with you on his back.
He struts past the garden, and walks straight up the porch, landing you gently on the rocking chair. The pads of his fingers trail down your leg until they catch the soles of your shoes. Alastor slips them off your feet, revealing the red spots that mark your skin.
Alastor kneels before you, one leg propped up like a stool for your foot. Ha! It’s quite the sight to see the Radio Demon on his knees for his wife.
The pressure he uses to massage your feet brings instant relief to the buzzing of pinched nerves. His thumb glides over a particular aching spot that forces a hum of delight out your lips.
Maybe wearing the wrong shoes wasn't such a bad thing…and maybe, you should wear the wrong shoes more often.
With Alastor’s gentle attention, your feet stop aching.
Alastor takes your hand, pulling you to stand off the rocking chair. He takes the seat from you, but before you can begin to huff, Alastor pulls you on top of his lap. Your legs lean against the arm rest as you curl between his legs and into his hold, pressing deeper into his chest.
You flick the ends of his bowtie, and take the monocle resting on his face. The round glass connects to a chain. “Do you actually need this?”
“Sometimes.” Alastor rests his chin on your head.
The monocle distorts your vision as you bring it closer and farther to check the grade. “You didn’t need this when you were alive.”
“That’s because I had glasses.” Alastor snatches his monocle, and places it back on his face. “You smudge it.”
“I liked those glasses,” you say. “They were very handsome, and suited you very, very, handsomely.”
Alastor hums, rocking the chair to bring you into a lull. The breeze of the night forces you to pull his coat closer around your shoulders, eyes drooping as you settle between Alastor’s legs. This moment will pass, and soon Alastor will force you to your feet and into proper clothes then into a proper bed.
That’s later…this is now.
And right now, you’ll inhale the soft scent of sulfur from Hell’s air while chasing that precious mix of Alastor’s scent. And right now, you’ll lean into the heavy hand that soothes your back, grounding you into his arms.
Alastor presses a kiss on your forehead. “My dearest.”
“Hmmm?” you say, letting the lull take hold.
“Did you enjoy yourself tonight?” He brushes a palm across your head, patting the strands that stick out. “I need to know if you had fun.”
“It was the most fun I’ve had in years.”
Alastor shakes his head, chucking a little. Each puff of his laughter cranes your head up and down. “Mother would strangle me if she learned what I’m doing with you,” he says. “Oh, she would absolutely go bonkers and grab my ears, telling me that I was raised better than this.”
“What exactly are you doing to me besides lulling me into sleep after filling my belly with the most exquisite food.”
“We’re living together.”
You pull away, looking at him to motion to the house. “Sweetheart, I hate to break it to you, but we’ve been living together for the past two years. Well, ten if you count our life up top,” you say with a snicker. “Living together is the least sinful thing we’ve done together!”
Alastor shakes his head, pushing you up to your feet.
He presses a kiss on your ring finger, letting his lips linger across the skin. “I am a gentleman,” Alastor tells you, and each word brushes your skin. “My mother raised me to act with honor…yet, here I am living in our house, sharing a bed with you, all without being married.”
“Alastor, we are married,” you say. “Was tonight’s dinner not meant to celebrate our anniversary?”
“You’re forgetting that our vows ended with, ‘till death do us part’,” Alastor says, wagging his finger at you. “I died…and so did you. Death parted us, yet it also brought me to you once more.”
Alastor lowers to his knees, your hand still secured around his own.
There’s a smile on your lips that you don’t remember smiling, and the words tumble out on their own. “Yes.”
“My dear,” Alastor starts, sighing. “I haven’t even said anything. The ring isn’t even in my hands yet.”
“Okay…okay,” you say, laughing into the air. “Sorry—go on, please. I won’t interrupt you.”
“Let me finish.” Alastor reaches into his pocket, bringing out a small box. It’s just the right size to hold a ring. “Will you—”
“Yes.”
“—let me finish?”
You flash your most innocent smile. “I’m sorry. I promise to stay silent.”
“From this day on, I never wish to be parted from you,” Alastor tells you. “Death or no death. I am to be your husband, and stay in this house until eternity ends.”
You squeeze his hand. “Yes.”
“Dearest…,” Alastor says with a warning tone, but squeezes your hand back. “Will you do me the honor of re-marrying me?”
“Yes,” you say once again. “Always…I will always say yes to you.”
Alastor presses a kiss on your cheek, allowing his lips to linger for what seems like a lifetime—the same lifetime you’ll spend together once more.
The next kiss lands on your other cheek.
A kiss to the forehead.
A kiss on the edges of your lips.
Alastor runs his thumb over the soft skin of your mouth. Breaths mix together with small huffs. The intoxication of his nose trailing up your face consumes your very being.
The back of his fingers caresses your face until they reach to tuck a strand behind your ear. His touch shifts to cup your face as the pads of his thumb swipe across your cheek. It’s over…you’ve fully lost yourself into him.
His lips brush above your own, torturing you slowly.
The hold on the back of your neck brings you closer until your noses crash into one another, and your forehead presses against each other. His mouth grazes yours, but never fully connects. Inches of breath separate your kiss, and every exhale only pulls you deeper into madness.
The lids of your eyes flutter to a close when he finally kisses you. Kiss after kiss after kiss. Your arms snake around his chest, pulling him closer into a hug.
The kisses he blesses you with are slow, as if he savors each and every one. Alastor kisses you like there’s no place he would rather be than pulling flush against his body like he was carved to fit you into his space.
Alastor slips the ring around your finger.
You’ve said ‘Yes’ once before, and you’ve said ‘Yes’, this second time around. The answer will always be the same throughout any lifetime or any world.
ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ
Tell me what you think! I quite like this short one. It's sweet and just hits the feels for me. School has been killing me. BUT DON'T WORRY I REALLY HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN ABOUT YOUR REQUESTS. THEY'RE DRAFTED AND WILL BE COMPLETED
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babe-a-yaga · 1 month ago
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What was done to Isseya is one of my personal biggest upsets with this game. I loved her in Last Flight. She's a genuinely interesting, complex character, and given the themes of mistakes and regret present through Veilguard, it makes TOTAL sense for her to make an appearance! What makes no sense at all is for her to be reduced to a two dimensional villain with no clear motivation who's just...doing exactly the thing she fucked up in life? Except worse? I'm gonna summarize the events of last flight for the folks who haven't read it;
The first griffin Isseya put through the joining was already blighted in battle, and dying from it. Quickly. Griffins are extra sensitive to the Blight and any attempts made to join them resulted in the animals going berserk and tearing themselves, and anyone else in range, to pieces to get away from what was now in their veins.
In a well meaning, but misguided effort to save one of the animals she loved, she used blood magic to alter the griffon's mind, to convince it the Blight in it's system was just a regular cold, and it didn't need to fight it, then put it through the joining.
It worked, but it changed the griffon. Made it stronger, fight harder. More difficult to handle. The griffon ultimately went out in a spectacular blaze of glory, and people didn't know what she did, just that she did SOMETHING, and that griffon did ten griffons worth of damage on it's way out.
The fourth blight was far worse, far longer than any of the blights we have witnessed first hand. I think it lasted like 15 years? And it was going badly for Thedas. They ordered Isseya to do what she had done to the first griffon again as a last ditch to stand a chance at I *think* Starkhaven (it's been a little bit since I read last flight, so I'm sketchy on dates and what battles were fought specifically when). She hated doing this, but it was orders, and it was exploit this handful of griffons or watch the world die. She's a warden, she signed up to stop the blight at any cost. In war, victory. In death, sacrifice.
By the time her brother Garahel slays Andoral, she's had to blight a number of griffons, and the constant blood magic use has massively accelerated the blight in her own body. Her brother garahel is this golden haired pretty boy beloved by everyone who looks upon him, and Isseya looks so much like a ghoul at this point people are uncomfortable being in the same room as her. Even though this is completely due to her service to the wardens.
Then, the remaining joined griffons start going mad. And then it starts to spread to the other, non-joined griffons. In using blood magic to convince the griffons the blight was just a disease, she had caused it to become one. A contagious one.
It's one of the most interesting examples of how dangerous blood magic actually is we ever see. We're just told over and over "blood magic bad, slippery slope to killing people. Bad. Even if you use your own." And we never really see explicitly why it's an inherently dangerous form of magic until this.
Back to Isseya though. Garahel's lover's Griffon had a clutch of eggs sired by Garahel's Crookytail. Isseya, knowing there was no stopping what was now in motion with the griffons, set out to do her one last act of penance. She took, and purified those eggs, hid them in a ward that kept them in stasis, so that they might only hatch once the griffons were gone, and this disease had died with them, so they might have a chance. And then she hid the clues to their location, and begged that whoever find them not let them be used by the wardens again.
And then she went on her calling.
These are not the actions of a villain. Isseya EMBODIES the warden principal of sacrifice. But it isn't glorious battle rewarded by a quick death alongside an archdemon for her. It's death by inches, by blight, knowingly and willingly accelerated in her own body to stop it from consuming the world. Sacrificing her ideals, the animals she loves, her brother, Garahel. Isseya gives it all for the wardens, to end the blight, and is not thanked for it or remembered kindly.
And she did everything she could to seed the slightest bit of hope, that both in spite of her and because of her, griffons might return to the world, as free creatures.
Her Veilguard arc feels like really egregious character assassination, and I wish she had been given an ounce of the sympathy that other characters had been given. It made sense for her to be here, thematically, mistakes and regret, and good intentions still leading to bad ends, but she deserved the same opportunity for forgiveness and/or redemption that Solas, Mythal, Cyrian, even Illario got.
Isseya was done dirty by Veilguard.
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keerysfreckles · 6 months ago
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sparks fly — LN4
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pairing: lando norris x fem!reader
summary: “drop everything now, meet me in the pouring rain. kiss me on the sidewalk, take away the pain” — or when y/n goes to lando's childhood home in england, after her night turned for the worst.
warnings: abusive relationship, cursing, not proofread
a/n: shoutout to pookie nat for finally getting me into taylor 🙏
masterlist !
⋆ ˚ 。 ⋆ ୨୧ ˚
y/n knew from the moment she watched her first rom-com, she would find a love like the movies. how to lose a guy in ten days. thirteen going on thiry. ten things i hate about you. twenty seven dresses.
the list could go on. she was more than positive she'd find someone to love her the same way these fictional men loved their partners.
y/n met her first love during her spring break of her second year of uni. she could've sworn they were meant to be. they had plenty in common. they were studying the same major, both loved hockey, both wanted to study abroad someday, in paris or germany.
she thought it was perfect. until the fairy tale castle started crumbling.
during their third year of uni, y/n noticed patrick changing. he got more focused with his school work, but became more aggressive when y/n was involved.
y/n thought at first it was just the stress from exams coming up. she justified it as everyone's on edge, getting antsy for the year to be done with.
however it only fell downhill. the words of aggression turned into loud yells heard from their shard apartment at late hours. the yelling turned into patrick throwing any item he could find, which soon turned into y/n dodging almost everything patrick threw.
he hasn't hit her yet, which was possibly the only thing keeping y/n in the relationship. she really believed he could change. but as days passed, and his anger only progressed, she wasn't sure the old patrick was still inside.
sure, the man would always try to make it up to her. a million open eneded apologies could only do so much.
on the twenty third of october, that's when shit hit the fan.
"patrick please, just let me go to bed. it's late, we're both angry and not thinking right," y/n tried reasoning with him, knowing her words don't mean a thing to him.
"no, you're going to tell me what you were doing out so late."
y/n only lets out a scoff. it was the same fight almost every time she went out with friends, or simply went to the library to study. patrick never believed her.
"for the last time, i was out with jess. all we did was go shopping," y/n explains again. her own anger starts rising. she feels the bottle inside her shaking, getting ready to explode.
she stands from the couch, walking to their shared room.
"you think you can walk away from me?" patrick quickly follows, slamming the bedroom door behind him.
"what is your problem!" y/n finally shouts, "you never believe me. what do you think i'm doing? cheating on you? how can i do that when you barely let me leave this goddamn apartment?"
y/n's breath heaved. she felt a small pressure release as she finally got the courage to yell at the man standing in front of her.
"who do you think you are?"
as patrick spoke, he stepped closer to y/n. causing her to step back, eventually becoming trapped between the him and the wall.
"who gave you the right to talk to me like that?" patrick seethed, before reaching out and grabbing y/n's wrist.
his grip only tightened when she let out pained sounds, as tears started forming in her eyes.
she tried prying his hand off her wrist with her other one, "let go," she begged.
y/n started kicking. she didn't know where her feet were ending up, but was grateful patrick had started backing away from her movements.
she managed to release her wrist from his hold, and ran towards the bedroom door. grabbing anything she could before leaving the apartment, she was able to grab her phone and her shoes.
patrick tried grabbing at her again, yelling and begging for her to come back. she was still struggoing to slip her shoes on even when she got outside.
y/n swore she still heard patrick's yelling from where she stood.
once she got at least a block away, the tears couldn't help but fall. her vision became fuzzy as she kept walking. she kept tripping over he untied shoe laces, stepping in the puddles from the rain beginning to fall from her sky.
as if the rain was matching y/n's mood.
in the ten minutes she continued to mindlessly walk, y/n couldn't believe how stupid she had been. scolding herself for staying with the man who only made her the worst version of herself.
y/n kept walking, until she seemed to find herself in an all too familiar neighborhood. she couldn't even begin to count the times she's been here.
she tries ridding her tears, knowing its no use as her eyes are probably bright red and puffy.
she begins to knock on the door of the house she knows too well. as her hand leaves the wood, her mind only begins to spiral.
what are you doing? they might not even be home. this could be too much for them to handle. they won't want to see me. they can't do anything–
the sound of locks turning brought y/n back from inside her mind.
cisca stood on the other side of the door, in the warmly lit house. her heart broke at the sight of y/n drenched from the rain, her shoes barely holding onto her feet, and her shaking hands.
"oh darling," cisca starts.
"i didn't know where else to go," y/n's voice shakes as cisca lets her inside. she's gone for a moment, before coming back with a towel for the girl.
"you know you're welcome here any time," cisca brought y/n towards the living room, not caring if the couch gets wet. she can always fix it later.
"you dry off some more, i'll be back with a cup of tea," cisca rubs y/n's arm before leaving for the kitchen. the older woman's mind wanders to all the possibilities for why y/n was at their home at the late hour.
minutes pass and cisca sets the warm cup of tea in y/n's hands, instantly receiving a thank you from her.
cisca gasps slightly at the bruise already forming around y/n's wrist. "sweetheart, what happened?"
she rubs her back as y/n explains everything to the woman. from the point patrick began getting verbally violent, to the events that happened no less then half an hour ago.
cisca couldn't believe her ears. the sweet y/n she knew would never have stayed with someone like that, but cisca hardly knows her at any more. ever since she started uni she rarely comes over to her best friends childhood home.
after pulling y/n into a much needed hug, cisca began setting up the extra bedroom. while y/n stayed on the couch, finishing the cup of tea in her hands.
"hey mom, i heard noise from my room. everything okay?" lando peeks his head into the spare bedroom, instantly confused to why his mother is setting up the bed.
"y/n is out there, and she just needs to be comforted right now, okay? she's had a rough night," cisca explains as lando nods in understanding.
lando walks through the hallway towards the living room, and just like his mother, his heart sinks at the sight of y/n. she's hunched over on the couch, finally getting warmer from being out in the rain.
"i thought i heard noise out here," lando chuckles, hoping a light hearted mood might fix the atmosphere around y/n.
once their eyes meet, he knows one slightly fun comment won't make anything better. he sees her bloodshot eyes, and worried expression.
"oh, baby," the nickname slips through his lips. one he's called her many times in the past.
he kneels in front of her to wrap his arms tightly around her waist, as hers reach for his shoulders.
he didn't know how much comforting she needed, but could only guess it was a lot after she started crying against his shoulder.
he continued to hold her, rubbing his hands up and down her back. his heart started to break once she started shaking in his arms. a mixture from the crying and her body finally letting the stress and anxiety get to her.
"i should've listened to you," y/n mumbled against his shoulder.
lando doesn't respond, knowing exactly what the girl meant.
her grip loosened slightly on his shoulders, now just resting her hands there as she looks at him.
"you were right. he wasn't a good guy. you had a feeling and i should've listened to you," y/n rambles on, knowing lando's been right about patrick since the first time the two men met.
"what did he do?" lando asks, moving his hands to hers. however, his fingers brush over y/n's brusing skin. the action makes her flinch slightly, and lando's heart breaks for the second time that night.
"i shouldn't have come here," y/n states, beginning to shake her head back and forth. "i'm sorry."
"you have nothing to be sorry for, you can stay," lando tries to reason with her.
he continues to try even when he follows her back out in the rain.
"y/n! just come inside!" he runs after her, his socks getting damp from the drying puddles outside. he looks up, the rainfall definitely slowed, but y/n's hair was beginning to get wet again.
"no lando, it's fine. i'll go back there for the night. he's probably calmed down by now."
lando reaches y/n, "you can't possibly want to go back there. he hurt you. you can barely move your wrist because of the bastard."
y/n turned to see lando looking at her, his curls falling slightly from the drizzling rain.
"you can't go back there y/n."
"i've already ruined yours and your mom's night."
lando laughs, "that's the last thing you've done. you and i both know you're more than welcome to stay the night."
after minutes of silence, lando speaks up again while stepping closer to y/n.
"i want you to come inside. i want you to be comfortable and safe."
it's as if a switch went off in y/n's head. a switch she's surprised didn't go off sooner.
seeing lando like this, standing in the rain in front of her. wanting nothing more than to make sure she's protected. something patrick would never have done, during any circumstances.
he watches her eyes flick between his own and his lips.
he lets out a shuddered breath as she simply begins walking closer to him.
"y/n, you went through way too much tonight. i don't want to add to any of your stress."
y/n shakes her head, "lando i've never been more sure of anything."
lando's hands find their way to her waist as she finally steps in front of him.
"take away my pain lando, please. you're the only person who's been here for everything. you're the only one i need. i'm so stupid for not seeing it earlier. i should've never went on that stupid date. i should've listened to you, and– and if i did i would've been here so much sooner."
y/n catches her breath. her heart hammers in her chest waiting for lando's reaction.
tears begin to blur her vision once more, her emotions getting the better of her as lando doesn't respond.
"lan, please say something. you're what i want, not h–"
y/n stumbles back slightly from the impact of lando's lips pushing against hers. her hands hold onto his face, scared that if she let's go, she might just be imagining this.
"please, let me take you back in–"
now y/n cuts off lando's words, making the man laugh into the kiss. the sound and feeling sending shivers up y/n's spine.
lando breaks the kiss, but feels y/n's breath fanning over his lips.
"now can you please come back inside?"
"one more," y/n mumbles against his lips before he has the chance to reject her offer.
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biteyoubiteme · 12 days ago
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bitten
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beomgyu x fem!reader
synopsis: it’s been a century since the last youve seen him, why come back now?
warnings: 🔞!!! vampire!beomgyu, vampire!reader, mentions of blood, blood drinking, biting, angst, mentions of a break up,mentions of bite mark scars, a bit of soulmate trope, oral (f!rec), no protection,mentions of subspace, creampie, prob forgot some sorry
wc: 3.8k (now this flung the 2k limit out the window )
an: thank you for the request! I hope that this captured the essence of the request because vamp!gyu was consuming my thoughts after I read those lines. I love vampire fics and im so sad I don't have more on my page already and this was the perfect time to add one. not proofread im so sorry my sweet angel darlings have mercy on me and forgive me of any mistakes found.
[m.list] [1kevent m.list]
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The bar was dark enough to keep the bruised necks and wrists of the occasional lost traveler hidden. Spots of blood dripped onto crisp white shirts scenting the air in coppery sweetness. It was a sickening smell to those who didn't need to feed, the alcohol keeping the rest of the occupants held over enough to ignore the twinge. 
You didn't come to places like this often, the back room filled with half-drunk vampires and humans, desperately grasping at each other as they took from one another. Even the drinks didn't call to you, not when he wasn't standing there behind the bar passing them to you, constantly working his eyes up your body like a desperate plea to have even a taste. He hadn't been turned then, not when you first met. The pull towards you always accounted for the fact you were tainted with blood lust. A moth to a flame, he felt that pull, your hunger enough to send him right into the fire without even glancing at him. 
It wasn't often that a human found themselves offering their bodies up to vampires. Most of them felt the hair rise on the back of their necks, the prickling of fear telling them that whoever was standing just round the corner was a wolf in perfectly tailored sheeps clothing, how tight that human look held onto you after your change. The uncanny glow seeping that poisonous warning off in waves, a trap waiting for the truly reckless to trip. 
The ones who wandered closer instead of away always found themselves in the back of bars like this, bruised and hazy eyed laying in beds done up in silk and candlelight. Beomgyu, although working behind the bar for years knew never to offer himself up to the ones who sunk his stomach, that warning to run ringing in his ears as he slid a drink across the hardwood. But you, the second the door had pushed open and your skin washed in that low down glow, tripped him up; your waiting trap snapping shut around him like a rib cage around fluttering lungs. Even the echo of fading hoof beats on stone sounded so close to the beating of his heart that he couldn't tell the difference between flight and flush. 
But that had been years ago, so many that you couldn't even remember the shade of his irises. You remember they were brown, staring up at ceilings casing empty houses trying and failing to conger up the image. Well over a century's worth of time to hate yourself for forgetting the one thing that drew you in at first glance. But it wasn't as if you didn't try to work your way through the fading memories of him, all flickering by like the passing pages of a notebook you forgot you wrote and held so dearly. All you could see was that empty bed, the sugary taste of his blood still on your tongue, your breast still tender from where he bit you over your heart, so hard the soft outline of his teeth, like a stain you desperately wanted to rid yourself of. 
You had come here, back to this bar only three times after he had left to check in. That night with tears in your eyes, heart crumbling, the second taehyun had confessed that beomgyu was gone, packed up with only a shrugged goodbye. “He said he doesn't know when he will be back,” 
You had waited ten years to return the next time, so little time when you counted decades like snowflakes, not the glass shattering hail you assumed beomgyu would have still thought of as a recently turned fledgling. But no one had seen him, heard from him, hardly even thought of him. But he plagued you, ran around your head until you could taste the blood coming from overworked joints. 
The third time was no better, not when you entered and Taehyun shook his head, apologizing for a friend he wouldn't recognize anymore. 
You had given up, moved away, and swore to never think about beomgyu and his puppy stare. That follow you everywhere look that seeped into your bones and begged you to never turn away from him. Only now you were back, sitting in the far corner you fell in love, sinking into the leather seat wishing you could have that first glance back. 
Taehyun felt pity when he saw you, knew that you had been locked away in some house countries away, only sending in orders for blood long since cold. He poured you a glass, the same drink you asked for with tears in your eyes that first night back alone, chugging so many of them back he's sure your blood tasted of fire, too sour, burning all the way down one's throat. 
“Thank you,” neither of you wanted to bring Beomgyu up but he was the first thing on both of your minds. 
“He hasn't-” 
“I don't care,” you tossed back your drink, the ripples of mixed in blood making your fangs tingle, ready to push through soft gums and piece flesh not yet provided. It's why you came. Tired of the empty flavored pints of blood brought to you by Soobin and his sorry eyes. You hadn't put your mouth on anyone since that night, not even when it felt as if you had been scooped out with a spoon, carved open, and laid bare from hunger. If it wasn't him you would have nobody. 
But that declaration was a century ago, so many cold cups later it was tiring to swallow another. “I want a girl, preferably quiet, business only,” Taehyun nodded to your order, already knowing the best pick. 
“Room 615, she can be brought back in about thirty minutes,” there was no room for judgment, not after the years of working behind this counter, sneaking into those beds just like everyone else had. But he knew what it took from someone who hated to drink from a vein, it's why they had the services, those who couldn't go out and find someone or someones to keep up a constant full belly. 
But human blood wasn't the same as drinking from a vampire, humans went out too quickly, blinking back their faintness, never able to take more than a few deep pulls before they were at capacity. Feeding from vampires was anything but a rush, that first mouthful was a wash of exhilaration. It made one dependent on each other, one taste and it was never the same. Taehyun could tell Beomgyu and you drank from each other. Could see it in the years after, the way you turned your nose up even at the bitter drink in your glass. 
You would never feel full again unless you had him back. 
Thirty minutes was enough time to go home and call soobin for a late night order. But your hunger was clawing up your throat, nails on a chalkboard begging for anything else. Having the time to think, sitting here, filled your mouth with the memory of him. Not just the taste of his blood but the faint drum of his turned heartbeat. You still remember the sound his human heart made. The way it pattered at the sight of you, that irregular beat speeding up every time you sat down in front of him, entered through the cherrywood door. 
How even after you had turned him his heart still acted as if it was tied to your presence, fluttering weakly even if it was all it could muster. 
It was that sound that made you turn, conjured up from memory only now to show up right behind you. Taehyun was frozen, face pale at the sight of his lost friend. He had only seen him once or twice after he had been turned but now he was no half human fledgling. 
Beomgyu and you were caught in a web of your own disastrous weaving, stuck in place witnessing the crumbling of love because seeing him only settled the grievances you held into stone.
He wasn't hollow like you were, empty from the time left alone, the bloodlust having fully settled over his skin making him shine in that uncanny beauty. Everything about his gentle human features has been frozen in place, the warmth in his brown eyes only enhanced in the light. How sickening to have to now face the reality of what you had done to him, what he must have run from once he realized he couldn't truly love the monster who infected him. 
It wasn't the butterflies of newfound love but sickening maggots wriggling in your stomach. You stumbled as you stood, not even worrying about the key taehyun had left for you next to your drink, not even a meal could keep you from running as far as you could. 
It had been too long for him to come back when you had given up on trying to wait for him. How many nights had been spent waiting for this exact moment? Only now for you to run away. How cruel fate could be. 
He was calling your name, that twinge of hurt mixed in with something close to pity, every syllable weaved through with the words, no, don't do this, don't make me feel sorry. Even his voice made you waver, the back and forth shake of your head confusing you as you walked down the wrong hallway. 
Even through the doors, you could smell the blood from the occupants behind them, like overripe fruit left to sit on the counter, nothing smelled the same after one drop from him. And now with Beomgyu right behind you, weak heartbeat still mimicking that first sight, it was impossible not to pinpoint the smell of him. Wrapping around you like fog; a haze you tried desperately to claw your way out of but you knew it was no use. You had never felt so hungry until then, carved clean through with the need. 
“Please, let me explain,” he tried, grasping at straws. He didn't intend to see you first, only planned on catching up with Taehyun and apologizing for leaving him behind without answers. Save this conversation for when he built up the courage. “Please,” 
His fingertips only brushed your arm, the shock of it going right down to your toes. It was instinct to turn and slap his hand away, and even in your exasperated exhale, that first acknowledgment was enough to make Beomgyu weak again, as if he had ever been anything but when attached to you. “What is there to explain? You left, you left me there, alone in our bed,” 
“I-” The words were stuck in his mouth, hanging right at the edge of his tongue and yet all that came up was a frustrated laugh, “well did you miss me?” even just hearing his own words he could tell you would fume. 
“Did I mi- you left me! You fucking left me, if anything now I just hate you,” 
It was so easy to fall back into it with you, as if you had woken up alone a few days ago not centuries, “look what you did to me. What I've become, don't act as if you're so innocent in this, don't blame me for decisions we both made,” 
The words felt like a slap in the face. That night you had turned him so clear in your mind, the way he had begged, the way he had burned. It was one of the hardest things you had ever done, most vampires went their whole lifetime without infecting anyone because of how hard it was to complete and yet you had. 
“I turned you after you asked me. Do you know how much it takes? And then like some love-sick fool, I drank from you and every day I think about how stupid I was to believe you would stay. After I left behind everything I knew just so that I could have some human boy stay with me. How pathetic,” the last word was thick, sticking to your throat and pulling your tears forward. “You should go back to wherever you ran away to, climb into some feeders bed to keep warm for all I care,” 
You turned, ready to close the door on a life you wished you had. The one you begged for after nights spent alone clinging to the sheets that still smelled of him. But Beomgyu wouldn't have it, his grip tight on your wrist as he pulled you back, “It was never about changing me, I left because I wanted to know if it was real- that intensity was so…consuming, I was scared and so I ran. I ran and I looked for some way to replicate it because I'm a fucking fool who can't see right in front of himself. You made me addicted to you, I begged you to do this to me and yet I ran. Im sorry,” 
“You can say that but you stayed away so long I'm sure you found some poor soul to swallow down by the mouthful,” he could feel your resentment coiling around him, snapping back at his desperate attempt to explain. Because there was no way for him to get the words out, even after running them around his head for the years he had lost all because of his own fear. 
That night was stuck right behind his eyelids, replaying over and over. Your body pressed to his, soundlessly sleeping as he looked up at your shared canopy bed. Your blood was still singing through his body, staining his perception of life before you. He didn't know he could be so utterly infected by someone so much so that it colored his sky differently. Your soft breathing was enough to tear him apart, he wanted countless nights spent exactly like that one, just watching you, listening to you sleep. And it scared him. He thought humans had been over-emotional, feeling things as they came, wallowing in them because they had little time to let it spread out. But he was wrong, he hadn't known how full the world felt, how full he was after one drop of love from you. And now he was empty, starved clean from his own doing. “I was ashamed,” 
The confession was so quiet matching your question, “And now?” 
Beomgyu looked up from under his lashes, he was close enough now that your scent was suffocating him, begging him to give in and just sink his teeth right over your heart. Find the same place they had last been because no one had been able to tempt him to even pull his fangs down, not since you. “And now I'm starving,” 
Even just the word from his mouth made your fangs ache. You had been getting by on so little for so long. He was the only thing your body needed and you knew he must feel the same. Your mouth was filled with saliva, that venom that numbed prey or set them ablaze. You tried to swallow but you could already taste him, the movement of your throat making his eyes zero in on your pulse. You were no better watching his adam’s apple bob, connecting the dots on long since gone trails of hickeys you’d left before. 
Neither of you knew who moved first, moaning against lips you were sure you’d never kiss again. His sweet venom singing on your tongue. His hands were heavy on your body, pulling you closer as he pushed you against the hallway wall. He wanted to melt into you, his desperation crawling up his skin, hips keeping you in place. 
You chuckled into his mouth, the sound rattling in the back of his throat like a prayer he wanted to keep to himself. “You always did get hard from kissing,” his whimper in response is followed by the grind of his bulge against you. How fast his body reacted to your touch didn’t change when he did. 
His heart was picking up speed, your fingers running through his hair, the groves of your fingertips slotting back into place amongst the strands. Beomgyu’s fangs were already elongating, nipping your bottom lip. He had always felt so good about his self-control, accounting those early days of overfeeding on you for the simple fact of being so recently changed, he should have known you were the variable that cracked the hold he had on himself. It was only worse now that he'd nicked you enough to mix blood into the kiss, his throaty moan rumbling against your body, sinking into your soul. 
You're both stumbling to find a room, twisting knobs until you find an empty one. The silk bed envelops the both of you as you fall into it, peeling off layers of clothes. Beomgyu can smell your sweet arousal between your legs the second he's pushed them apart to kneel between. 
“Now look at this,” you can feel the pad of his thumb running over the bite mark scars he's left on your inner thigh, his grin wicked enough to make your knees twitch. “I wonder if your pretty cunt will remember me as well as your skin has,” 
“You're impossible to forget,” and when you expected him to bite you, following the pattern of his usual ravishing but he skipped it, shocking you with his lips wrapping around your clit, sucking deeply. 
His mouth is on a direct line to your spine, your back arching off the bed. His tongue is hot on you, tracing the lines of your folds, and moaning into your slick. He missed these desperate whines you let slip, the perfect backtrack to the messy slurping sounds he's started. You hadn't even realized how much you had missed his mouth, your fingers twisting into his hair the second he brushed a fang against your swollen bud. He loved to tease but it had been too long since you felt your orgasm rise so fast. 
Beomgyu was eating you like he missed your pussy, your stomach tightening, hips sinking into the sheets. It only takes a few more precise sucks with his puffy lips before your toes are curling, eyes rolling back as you cum for him. His chuckle vibrates against you before he pulls away, chin shining with your wetness. “I missed the taste of you,” 
He hasn't even tried to find someone else to take care of his needs, not when he knew no other cunt could compare to the way yours perfectly molded to him, sucking him in to the hilt. The memory alone is what had him rushing to get inside of you, cock already leaking rivets of precum. 
You've never felt so needy in your life, fangs and pussy aching for him. The drag of his tip from your clit to your weeping entrance makes your knees fall open. One of his hands guides himself to push into you and the other tenderly holds your hip in place. Your mouth drops open at the stretch, slow as he lets you take in the feeling, needing you to remember how full he kept you. 
Beomgyu whines, breath quickening as he shoves in the last few inches. He lets his body fall onto yours, needing to be closer, needing to drag his lips over your neck, teeth scratching at your pulse, “say it again, tell me how much you hate me,” 
But he knows you can hardly speak, your legs wrapping around him, arms pulling him down closer. “Shut up,” you gasp, his hips rolling against yours. 
“then beg me,” he doesn’t even have to say for what. Not when your neck is rolling back to give him better access to your vein, his lips brushing against your skin with each word. “If you don’t hate me, beg me to taste you. I know you remember how much I love to mix the flavor of your blood with your cum still in my mouth,”
As many times as he's crossed your mind, thinking about his fangs in your neck was something that would never compare to the moment they finally sunk in. You had never let anyone feed from you, not until he was there in front of you pleading. You were no better, not after you had changed him, needing to drain him of almost everything. But with one nod he was biting you. 
Beomgyu’s mouth was flooded with your blood, the familiar flavor of iron mixed with the undercurrent of sweet delicacy. He’d dream about the first bite, mouth tingling, fangs brought forward on nothing but the memory of you. Now he was ravenous, so shocked by his own hunger with its pounding fists on nailed shut doors. His hips stuttered in his thrusting, caught on the ecstasy of quenched starvation. 
You felt your mind slip into that hazy space, anything he asked would be answered, every action would be taken, and all you knew was him and him alone. To have that numbing venom injected into your bloodstream was enough to break even the strongest down into puddles of simmering whimpers. 
It was hard to pull away and keep himself from overfeeding like he wished he could. But he felt his orgasm cresting, stomach flexing as his balls tightened. Beomgyu shoved his wrist to your waiting lips, your fangs stinging as they pierced his weak flesh. You drank deeply, thick swallows of the ichor you had prayed to get back on your tongue.
Everything was crashing down around you, beomgyu groaning as you clenched around him, fluttering walls sucking him in as you came, taking everything he had to give. He was a mess of moans, clinging to you as if that could keep him grounded when he felt this good. Every slow shallow thrust only pushes his cum further into you, still being pulled from him with every pulse of your greedy pussy. 
Neither of you can believe how lost you had become, falling into each other like stars crashing into nothing but pooling darkness, so full of energy the only option was to collapse. And it's just what you did, twisting into each other's hold, beomgyu’s kisses pressed over the puncture marks he's made on you, nose brushing up and down your skin trying to keep your scent close. 
Breathing evening you fought back the worry settling in. He had left before, walked right out the door without you knowing anything wrong had been on his mind, what was keeping him from doing it all over again? 
“Stop thinking,” he muttered, mouth finding yours, mixing the flavors of your blood together as he kissed you. “I don't think I could find it in myself to ever leave again,” but he was pulling away, his playful smirk lingering on his lip cleansing your worrying mind if even for a movement. “How could I ever leave again after seeing how happy and full you are after only one round?” he pulled his still hard cock from you, the gush of cum slipping out, pooling on his ready fingers only to shove them right back into your waiting cunt. “No, nothing could keep me from this sight ever again,”
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taglist 🏷: @kissmekissykissme @bts-txt-ateez @apeachty @seungfl0wer @lunesdesire @chasingthatjjunie @no1likemybbgcharlie @beomiracles want to be added to the taglist? check out my rules to see how to join! want to be taken off the taglist? send an ask!
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codename-adler · 11 months ago
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i’m so scared shitless the way aftg fandom is reacting towards nora sakavic and TSC leads to her just… abandoning the project and not publishing anything ever again. why so much vehement hate and rage? why are you still here if you cannot tolerate her or her writing?
mistakes were made in canon aftg. not everything is perfect, not everything is greatly represented. so? it’s been ten years. was the author intentionally insensitive? intentionally hurtful? no. and that’s what matters. she’s been gone for god knows how long, because social media has been bad, and she’s right. good for her.
but some of you are already burning her at the stake before anything has come out. some of you have been spitting on her and her work for years. can’t a person grow up? can’t a person change? can’t an author change and do better?
nora sakavic is out there on twitter x defending palestine. i think that’s much more impactful and meaningful than some much more influential celebrities. and i think it’s very telling on her as a person.
i believe in her. i admire her, and respect her, and appreciate her. the same goes for her work. i wouldn’t be here without her and aftg, and i can never deny that, turn my back on that, forget that, and why would i even want to?
it’s not bad authorship. it’s not bad writing. it’s not bad media. it’s a story about fucked up people for fucked up people. nothing about that is going to be smooth or polished nor palatable to and approved by all. it shouldn’t be.
listen, i’ve got my own disagreements with some things in canon and EC. and? they’re just that. personal disagreement. i’ve got no right to tell an author that her writing and ideas are shit when they have consumed me every waking day, have boosted my creativity, my writing, helped me make long-lasting friends.
nora sakavic isn’t a poor fragile thing by any means, but she has spoken about social media not being good for her mental health. she has told us. we know. we know she sees our stuff. we know our stuff affects her. it’s not hard to get.
i’m not telling anyone to let go of their opinions and negative emotions. i’m saying that respect must prevail. that’s all.
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fallen-gravity · 20 days ago
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some thoughts on the moana 2 novelization, as threatened promised <3 under a readmore for spoilers and also because I don't trust myself to keep it short
(friendly reminder that I do not ship Maui and Moana! you can rb, but don't be weird about it)
Genuinely right off the bat I can't get over how loving Moana is described to be? She just loves others so much. She always describes Pua and HeiHei as her friends rather than her pets because of how much she cares about them!! it's so stupid cute that not only does she refer to Pua as her "loyal, adorable friend", but it's also implied that she handmade the little satchel he likes to ride in just for him. It eats me up inside!! She cares so much!!
The center island she's looking for is spelled as Motufetū!! I always love getting confirmation for these things, it makes things so much easier as a fic writer.
One of the souveniers she takes back with her alongside the broken pottery is a "massive clam". hello???? foreshadowing??? did everyone know about the giant clam guardian??
"For a man who had once forbidden her from going beyond the reef, he now spent quite a lot of time beyond it himself." AUUWHAAHHH THAT LINE KILLED ME WE LOVE TO SEE GROWTH FROM TRAUMA
"He loved her enthusiasm, but she seemed overexcited, and she was still his daughter, and he wanted to take care of her" MOANA!!! IS!!! SO LOVED!!!!
Loto's tool is called an adze! also she's apparently only 17?? two years younger than Moana?? not at all what I would've pegged her as, honestly
The storytelling tapestries are called siapos!!! more terminology!!!
"Her eyes darted to the image of Maui carved into the wall. She hadn't seen him since her return to Motunui, and she missed him. Not that she would admit it out loud" STRANGLING YOU STRANGLING YOU STRANGLING YOU
"Humans, were in fact, why he was here now, in this unknown realm of the gods looking at the pinkish white ball in front of him. At least, he thought that might be why he's here. These missions to benefit humans didn't always come with clear instructions" immediately followed by thinking about the trip to Te Fiti with Moana. What a dumbass <3 "I'm doing it for them and I don't know why? totally unrelated note haha that trip to Te Fiti with Moana was fun :)"
Never saw any of that journey coming, never could brute force his way through it, worth every second. Only considers getting the hook back as an afterthougt, ougghhhhhhh
Homeboy sucks at pretending that he doesn't care about Moana. He's talking to Matangi for all of two seconds and he's all "I'm a changed person! For um. no particular reason! It was definitely because of the thousand year isolation and nothing else whatsoever!"
There's no finite explanation for why Maui's there, but he credits Moana for making him a better person for being the reason. Something about breaking the curse? It's never made clear, even in the book.
Mini Maui selling him out for bullshitting about hating Moana is even funnier in the book, like Maui goes "yeah lol that girl was just a tool I uused to get my hook back" and Mini Maui starts pounding on him. Homeboy Moana can't even hear you and you're still mad at Maui for bullshitting, it kills me. Maui tries shooting him down. "Mini Maui wasn't convinced" has me in stitches
Maui's internal dialogue shifting to "oh wait, yeah, I wanted to surprise her with a visit. Oops." while he's tied up also has me in stitches. ffs, maui, get your priorities straight
"He refused to let Moana be hurt or threatened" I am on the floor
Every time Tui calls Moana "my dear" it adds ten years to my lifespan
The siapo of Maui in the storytelling fale is so lifelike that "it's as if he were about to jump off the fabric at any moment and start teasing her." that's so stupid cute!!!! also so stupid sad that she probably talks to it a lot hoping that it'll work someday. ough.
"Maui was having a bad day. Actually, he was having a lot of bad days"." feels like it was pulled right from a fic I would've written in 2018, I'm screaming
"I don't need her to save me...again" swallowing the earth as we speak
Curly still being the default nickname is also taking me out I need to be given financial compensation asap
There's a parallel that got lost in translation from page to movie, there's the bit where Moana's like "I'm sure Maui's off doing important demigod stuff, wherever he is", but there's also a bit of internal monologue where Maui's like "I hope Moana's faring better than I am, wherever she is" I'm gonna conk their heads together y'all need to communicate
The book directly mentions Moana and her crew passing Te Fiti. Did I miss that from the movie? Did they show Te Fiti, or is this a book-exclusive detail?
Their little Kakamora buddy has a name!! Kotu we don't deserve you. Also he's the Chief Kakamora's son! I just thought he was second in command. That's a whole baby
Maui knows who Pua is, somehow! He sees Pua waddling around and his first thought is "okay, this is weird, why do these people have Moana's pig with them?". Doesn't even remotely click that she could be with them. He's actually about to leave until HeiHei shows face and boy is he absolutely mortified. It eats me up inside. Instant shift of "goodbyeeeeee random humans I don't liiiike!!!" to oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, where is she????
Incredibly suspicious that Moana is the human that has all the gods talking. Something too about Maui having to force himself not to care about her. Did someone do a little too much bragging about his favorite human?
"I thought you'd be...more." okay a) I def think Maui's been overhyping her and b) haha More callback we love to see it
Also, Matangi's just a demigoddess! Not a goddess at all. interesting, interesting, interesting
Moana also sucks at priorities, one single mention of Maui and she instantly shifts to oh, oh my god, is he here? is he nearby? where is he?
Moana recognizes the Portal of the Gods as similar to the entrance to Lalotai...does that mean Lalotai is connected to the Realm of the Gods, in some way? are they the same place under a different name? also all :') that the dance she does to open the portal is specifically meant to be a copy of the haka that Maui did in the first movie.
You know, I think you need her just as much as she needs you. WHAT DOES IT MEAAAN? WHAT DOES IT MEAN? WHAT DOES IT MEAN??? WHERE DID THAT COME FROM???? YOU NEED EACH OTHER??? WHY DO THE GODS KNOW?? WHY DO THE GODS KNOW????
The first thing Moana does when she's back on her canoe is look for Maui because she thinks he's gone 🥹 wants to go back and look for him until she realizes he's the reason she's dangling in the air. Did he stop her from falling off the canoe? ough, I'm deceased
I can't get over Moana assuming he just wants to catch up, they are both such chronic babblers.
"His expression was both happy and annoyed." I'm losing my shit.
"But yeah, it is good to see you again" 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹.
"The fire in the sky lead us to you" can we stop with the written in the stars stuff. can we stop. my poor heart can't take it. platonic soulmates fr. "maybe we're supposed to do this together." THE GODS KNOW!!!! THEY KNOW!!!
"Maui bit back a smile." kill me. kill me. i'm dead on the spot. kill me.
Ohhhhh, I always love seeing what they do in place of the songs and the replacement for "Can I Get a Chee-Hoo?" kills me most of all, I think. Maui still goes to sit with her, but when Moana starts talking about all the people she's gonna let down, he comes to a screeching halt when she mentions Simea.
"If anyone should be upset, it should be me. Since when do you have a sister?"
"You would've met her, if you ever came to visit me." OUCH! OUCH! OUCH!!! She's trying to tease him but there's a tinge of hurt in her voice, like she feels like he doesn't care enough about her to take the time for her!! You need her as much as she needs you!!!!!
"Three years is a blip to me, princess," says the liar who thought about her on a near-daily basis!!!!
"Empathy wasn't Maui's strong suit. But he seemed to be trying- for her. and that dulled the pain a little" i am in my grave. i am in my grave.
"Why are you even here?" -> "Because...because I've been low before, and I couldn't see my path. And someone came along who I underestimated and she lifted me up. Someone I don't want to underestimate herself right now." THROWING UP!!!!!
"Wow, you're the worst at this." -> "Maui pretended to look offended" conking their heads together as we speak they are so SWEET!!!!!
Maui giving her all the credit for being the one to defeat Nalo!!! not himself!!!! her!!!!!!!
"Maui said he was better for knowing her. That had to count for something" 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
It still destroys me that Maui's entire priority is keeping Moana safe!!! He's not just diving in to fight, he keeps going back to make sure they're all safe!!! that's all that matters to him!!!
God their little exchanges are so stupid they're killing me. "Nalo doesn't care about you!" "Yes he does! I'm Maui!!" "THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!!!" dumbasses <3
oooh he really doesn't want to separate, his eyes keep going back and forth between Moana and the monster storm :')
Okay. okay. okay. listen. there's a lot more to Maui's goodbye in the book than in the movie. In the book it's an apology. It's a rushed explanation on why he hadn't gone back to visit her prior. He lied about not having the time for her. All his time has been about and for her.
The reason I didn't visit...was 'cause you made me want to be better. You deserve the whole ocean...I wanted you to have it. Watch yourself out there. I could pull up millions of islands, but if you're not there to land on them, what's the point?
FOR!!!! HER!!!!! EVERYTHING!!!! IS!!!!! FOR!!!!! HER!!!!!
He hated leaving Moana and her crew behind,
He trusted her.
God, coud you imagine? First movie Maui, getting his hook destroyed? Those three words hold more power than anything. He trusted her. If anyone can do this it's her. He trusts her. He trusts her.
His thoughts kept drifting back to Moana. Nothing else matters!!! He could be all full of himself and think about how heroic he's being for The Humans (other) and all he's thinking about is his Favorite Human.
The thought of failing her pushed on him as the weight of the water grew heavy.
WHO WROTE THIS!!!! WHO READ OUR FANFICS!!!!! WHO KNEW!!!!!
His tattoos glowing with the power of the gods the first time he tries lifting Motufetū.....were there other gods that were helping him? are there gods who know?? Te Fiti if you're out there,,,,,,,,,
Moana rushing to protect Maui when lightning barely misses him the first time is.........destroying me?? taking me out??? imagine being protective over a demigod literally pulling an island out of the sea. imagine trying to take many hits for him. using her conch shell to call out to the storm to hit her instead? Maui yelling at her to Not do that? probably because it's breaking his own heart to watch?? ough.
"It went against every instinct, but Moana knew she had to listen to him." THAT'S ALSO GROWTH!!! KEEPING THEM BOTH SAFE BY NOT PUSHING HERSELF FROWARD!!!! GROWTH!!!!!
Maui getting hit by three strikes of lightning, and he uses what he thinks are his last dying moments to say goodbye to Moana. He locks eyes with her, gives her a sad smile, and yells Find your way, kid. Just to her. Just loud enough that she's the only one who can hear. and oh boy is this book brutal about that fourth and "fatal" lightning strike. It's strong enough to fry him. It launches him up so high in the air that Moana can't even see him
So, uh...fun fact! The reason Moana doesn't instantly dive in the water to go after him is because she thinks she's too late and that he's dead on impact. She doesn't even see him hit the water.
"Moana gasped as she felt her necklace pop open and her shell- Simea's shell- toppled out. Frantically,she reached for it, ignoring the danger around her. She couldn't lose that shell. She had already lost so much."
She thinks of everyone she loves when she's about to dive into the water and reach for Motufetū herself and Maui's among them right alongside her family. God. If there were ever a more indirect found family confirmation............
Lightning flashed, illuminating the sky and filtering through the water. Moana hoped that her crew was okay. That Maui had somehow survived. RIGHT!!! FROM!!!! THE FICS!!!! I SWEAR THIS IS PULLED RIGHT FROM THE OLD FICS!!!
His hook was missing, but he didn't care. He dove in after Moana. Hi, yes, 2018-era me is screaming out from inside me. She's clawing her way out of my chest. This is everything she's ever needed.
Fun fact part two! I don't remember how it was in the movie, but Maui watches Moana die too!! I think in the movie he just sees her still body on the surface of Motufetū, but in the book he dives under the water just a moment sooner and helplessly watches the lightning strike through her body. He watches her go still and sink towards the ocean floor :) Now they both have the trauma of watching each other die! :) :)
He tries desperately to catch her before she hits the floor but there are multiple instances of him being knocked back by a shockwave :') The gods sure have found his weakness!!!
He pushed through it. Nothing was stopping him from reaching Moana.
The grieving!!! The grieving is so fierce!!
Isn't it fun?? He practically has a burial ceremony for her! He catches her before her body hits the floor, and he places her gently on the surface of the island so she can fulfill her story! God! I'm unwell! He places Simea's little shell next to her body so Moana can be close to her sister one final time!
Then, kneeling next to her, he put his hand to his heart. It rested on the tattoo of Moana that had appeared after their last adventure. It had been his constant reminder in the three years since how strong a human could be. 🥹🥹🥹😭😭😭😭😭😭🥹😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
It's just...he doesn't even realize the ocean is creating a dome around them! He's that grief-striken!!
The ocean knows them. It knows what they need. He calls it Moana's. Moana's ocean. aUGGHHHHHH.
Hey so all of that talk about Maui not allowing himself to let the gods know that Moana's his friend and then he's begging them. He's begging the gods and her (her? his? huamnity in general?) ancestors to save her because she deserves more than this. she deserves better. If any of the gods knew nothing of the two of them they sure as hell did now, ohhhhhh boy is that gonna screw him over later :')
So the book never explicitly states she's a demigoddess either! It very ominously states that She'll never be the same.
Moana gets to see her ancestors this time! I can't remember if she woke up before they disappeared in the movie, but when she wakes up her thought process goes wait, where am I? to oh, shit, MAUI?!?!? to TAUTAI VASA? TALA?? HELLO??? someone please invent therapy already she's gonna need it pretty desperately
god imagine if she thought maui was also dead?? she doesn't but ohhhh. ohhhhhh the angst potential of her thinking they're all there to see her off. god.
Shock and awe. That's all Moana can get out of Maui's expression when she catches him staring.
Mini Maui, the more accurate voice, is bawling his little eyes out when he sees that Moana's okay
Moana understands the implications instantly. and she knows that she's only alive now because Maui prayed for her
"Arching an eyebrow, she nodded over her shoulder. It was time they raised an island- togehter". SICK!!! TO!!! MY!!! STOMACH!!!
"She saw Maui, a familiar comfort in this uncharted territory" [AGGRESIVE TABLE SLAMMING] THAT'S FOUND FAMILY BAYBEEEEE
:') there's a big group hug with Moana's crew and Maui tries to wiggle his way to the center. That's almost shot for shot a scene from one of the first Moana fics I ever wrote back in December of 2017 :') turning into a little lizard and skittering into the center of the hug where Moana is because he wants a proper hug too :')
Okay so I definitely know for sure that when it says the villagers of Motunui are shocked Maui's there because they've heard so many stories about him that it's just the regular old legacy stories. but listen. let me be deluisional. it's because Moana always tells stories and Moana's like. known around the island as his best friend. so it's like!!! oh!!! there he is!!! Tautai Moana's best friend!!!! :')
He calls Simea Mini Moana!!!! weeping and sobbing
Simea's big brown eyes familiar. He Also calls Simea tugging on his ear Very Familiar. That's so stupid cute. I wonder if he ever visited when Moana was out voyaging and he ran into Simea if he'd be able to tell that she was her little sister? :') also hilarious because I'm sure it implies Moana told him Simea wanted to yell at him and he went "yeah okay that's fair"
(still lowkey sad Maui never gets included in the family hugs. Ohhhh if they ever found out what he did to save her they'd pull him straight in for sure)
MAUI STAYS!!! CONFIRMATION THAT HE STAYS!!!!
He stays long enough for things to calm down. He and Moana head out by themselves to help their little Kakamora buddy reunite with his family (cough cough)
Moana goes from "that kid" to his "dear friend." cherished. beloved. it's not even relelvant to the plot. He just smiles at her and goes "where to now?" and it's just. that's his dear friend!!! god!!!! so beloved!!! that feels like it holds even more weight than best friend!!!
god. god. I really gotta write a fic where they talk about watching each other die
good shit!!! gooood shit!!! I'm gonna be screaming about this forever. god.
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mountttmase · 2 months ago
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Change Of Heart
The Middle - Part Four
Note - coming at you a day early, so I hope that’s okay 😂 this chapter is a ride and I pray you won’t be too hard on our girly. She’s been through a lot and has a lot of emotions and also people aren’t angles 100% of the time (unless your name is Mason) so it’s normal for someone to have a strop. Sorry I really feel like I’m explaining myself here but I’m just scared you’ll hate her. This chapter also involves a song and I’ve added a thing so you can listen along to the version I was thinking about 🥰 LOVE YOU GUYS FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED AS ALWAYS 🩷😘
Pairing - Mason Mount x Reader
Word count - 6.6K
Warnings - series contains angst & fluff
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They say you always hurt the ones you love, and even though you never meant to hurt Mason, there always seemed to be moments over the years when you’d take your moods out on him.
You knew he was upset, but he always took it in his stride and let you have your strop before accepting your apology straight away no matter how much you didn’t deserve it. Not wanting to be moody with each other now you didn’t see each other as much but after you’d calmed down it didn’t make you feel any less guilty.
Moving to Manchester was everything you thought it would be and more.
Now you’d been promoted you could afford your own house up here and you made sure it had enough bedrooms so there was a spare for when Mason or your family wanted to visit and you felt incredible that you could provide for yourself and Gee all on your own.
Mason helped you move and unpack but he couldn’t stay more than one night as he had to go back to London and back to training but you were grateful for his help nonetheless and happy that he was finally onboard with such a big change.
It was the perfect fresh start, and you knew no one here so you made sure you made a few connections by joining a mummy and baby group in hopes of making some mum friends and on the first day you met Ell. It was her first day with baby Tommy and by the end of the hour you were becoming fast friends. Ell having lived in the area her whole life and she promised to take you under her wing and be there for you. Even skipping the class sometimes so you could take the babies out for lunch and have a gossip.
You saw and spoke to Mason as much as you could but you knew things had changed. FaceTime wasn’t the same as seeing him in person but the season was soon ending and you’d even managed to make it back down for his last game of the season. Watching on proudly as he picked up his second player of the season award and you knew it had meant a lot to him for you to be there.
It was the least you could do, Mason always sacrificing himself for you and you knew you weren’t always the best to him. Blaming your bad moods on being tired due to work and the stress of raising a child on your own in a place where you hardly knew anyone but Mason always took you as you came just like he had your whole life.
You loved your life up in Manchester though. Quiet nights spent with just you and Gee cuddled on the sofa as you told her how long you’d waited for her to come and everything you wanted to do together. Watching her grow and learn new things everyday as you learnt more about yourself in the process and when she wasn’t in your arms you didn’t feel whole.
You had been living in your house for around three months when Mason first came to stay for a few nights. It was a bit last minute and you had made plans to go out with your new work colleagues to get to know them a bit better but Mason assured you it was fine and that he would stay with Gee that night rather than her usual babysitter.
Gee was around ten months old now and Mason couldn’t believe how much she’d changed since he last saw her. His eyes filling up as he held her to his chest and you melted at the way she clung to him. Even though they didn’t get to see each other too often it was so lovely to see how strong their bond was. Mason eventually pulling you into his arms so you could all cuddle together by the front door and you didn’t miss the way your shoulders relaxed at his touch. Trying your hardest to not bury your face into his shoulder as you’d missed him so much but you pulled back and smiled at him sweetly.
‘Go sit, I’ll grab you a drink’ you told him and him and with a quick kiss to your cheek he made his way into the living room whilst you headed just down the hall to the kitchen to flick the kettle on.
You could hear Mason from the kitchen, letting Gee babble away at him as he tried to respond back to her with the noises she’d just made and as the kettle boiled, you popped your head around the corner so you could watch them. Masons back to you so he had no idea you were listening in but he was sat with Gee practically on his chest and you smiled softly at them as they made silly faces at each other.
You loved getting to see them bond, knowing how much Gee loved Mason already even though you didn’t get to see him as much, but soon enough her incoherent mumbles turned into actual words.
‘Dada’
‘Oh… oh no I’m not your dada baby’ he whispered, his voice sounding sad and your heart broke a tiny bit. Mason was more of a dad to Gee than anyone and the feeling of her not having that vital person in her life for her early years upset you more than you thought it would, but it was no match for the words that were about to come out of Mason's mouth. ‘I wish I was though, Gee. I’d do anything for you, you know that right?’ He whispered. ‘And I love your mummy so so much. More than I could ever tell you… or her. Trust me, I tried once and it did not go well’ he laughed.
You felt overwhelmed, stood in shock as you watched him confess his feelings for you to your baby in a soft voice so you didn’t hear but he clearly had no idea you could hear every word as he carried on talking. ‘It hurts you know? Knowing your person doesn’t quite see you as theirs but it’s okay. I’ve learnt to let her go and let her be happy, even if it’s not because of me. She’ll find her person one day and maybe I can learn to love someone like I love her. Like give someone else what I’ve always wanted to give her. I think I’d make a pretty good boyfriend if I let myself be one. And I think I’d make a good dad too, like I’m not that bad am I?’ He asked her and the excited yelp that left her little mouth made you smile even though your heart was breaking.
‘Thanks Gee, you always know what to say’ he laughed. ‘Who knows, maybe I can give you some cousins one day?’
He still loves me. After all this time he still loves me.
You’d always had a feeling Mason still liked you more than he should, but hearing him say it again to your little girl hurt. The fact that he was keeping it under wraps still gave you mixed feelings but clearly he didn’t want you to know as he was dealing with it in his own way so you figured you’d let him carry on.
You loved Mason, you just weren’t in love with him. If there was a way you could have flicked a switch to turn those feelings on then you’d do it in a heartbeat but all you knew right now was that you had to pretend like you hadn’t heard anything for the sake of your friendship. Knowing he’d leave if he knew you knew and you liked things exactly as they were.
You shook it off and made him his coffee just how he liked it. Carrying it into him quietly and when he smiled up at you in thanks you knew he didn’t know you’d overheard. Carry on talking to you without a care in the world as he played with Gee. You felt awkward though, no knowing what to say to him as a feeling of guilt settled into your tummy.
‘I need to go get ready’ you told him eventually. Making your way upstairs so you could start doing your hair and applying your makeup away from his big brown eyes and silly dimples but you were still thinking about what he’d said to Gee. The way he was still in love with you but just carried on and hid it like he was doing made you feel so confused
You were halfway through doing your makeup when you heard him walking up the stairs, his voice low as he told Gee he’d find you for her and after a quick knock at your door you let him know it was safe to come in.
‘See Gee, I told you she was here’ he cooed as he rounded the corner into your room and you sent her a smile as she looked your way. ‘Sorry, she didn’t believe me when I told her you were up here’ he laughed and you could see Gee sending you a huge smile back now.
‘That’s okay’
‘Are you alright?’ He asked as he took a seat on the edge of your bed but you just nodded your head. Still unsure as to what you should say to him. ‘You sure? You seem quiet’
‘I’m fine, just nervous. You know what I’m like with big groups of people’ you half lied but you could see him nodding away behind you in the mirror.
‘You’ll be fine, I promise’ he smiled before his eyes were flickering around your room. ‘Are you gonna wear that dress? He quizzed, nodding over to the one you’d hung up on the outside of your wardrobe and you nodded in response. ‘That's always been my favourite on you’ he beamed and you felt your tummy drop at his comment.
He let you get ready a little while after. Taking Gee downstairs so he could pop on the dancing fruit video she seemed to love so much to keep her entertained but when you came back down ready to leave you could see the disappointment and confusion all over his face that you’d chosen something different to wear.
Mason still showered you with compliments and helped you put on your necklace. His face beaming at the fact you still wore his gift after all these years but little did he know you felt lost without it.
Ever since he’d given it to you that fateful night you very rarely took it off as you felt like he was always with you when you had it on and even though things may have taken a weird little turn tonight there was no way you were leaving the house without it.
After a long goodbye with Gee you managed to make it out the door. Hopping in a taxi to take you to a restaurant nearby and as soon as you were inside your worries disappeared. You loved your new team and there were only around six of you so you were able to chat with all of them with no one feeling left out and really connect in a way you can’t do everyday in the office.
You checked your phone periodically but nothing had come through from Mason so you just figured the pair of them were having a lovely time and focused on getting to know your new colleagues.
You’d just finished up dessert when you felt your phone buzzing in your pocket. Quickly reaching for it to see Mason's face filling up the screen so you excused yourself just off to the side so you could answer.
‘Mase, everything alright?’ You asked, thinking he was just updating you quickly but the beat of silence on his end made your tummy drop.
‘Hey, yeah no listen. It’s Gee. She’s been all grizzly since you left and I thought it was just her being moody but she’s had a temperature all night and-‘
‘She what? A temperature? Why didn’t you tell me earlier?’ you asked. Your tone sounding panicked as your tummy dropped and the thought of Gee being unwell and needing you while you were out.
‘Well I didn’t wanna ruin your night out and I thought she’d be fine but she’s getting really upset and-‘
‘I’m coming back’ you told him. Hanging up the phone so he didn’t have a chance to answer before grabbing your things and making a swift exit. You didn’t want to cause a fuss so you quietly let your assistant know and slipped away before anyone could say anything before making your way back home ready to tear Mason a new one.
When you first walked in, the sight you were met with would have usually warmed your heart. Gee laid on Mason's chest with her head smooshed into his neck as he rubbed her back but you could see her eyes were red from crying and her little nose looked flushed.
Mason on the other hand looked frozen in fear. Looking up at you like he’s was scared you were about to rip his head off but you paid him no mind. Slipping your jacket off before storming over so you could gently lift Gee from him. Thankfully Mason didn’t put up a fight but your plan to just completely ignore him and go upstairs was thwarted when he began to speak as you turned to leave.
‘I gave her some calpol about half an hour ago, it’s taken her temperature down a bit but she might-‘
‘I don’t need you to tell me how to look after my baby’ you snapped. Turning to face him and if you weren’t so furious and worried you might have felt bad for how you’d spoken to him. ‘I told you to call me if someone was wrong so why didn’t you?’
‘Cause I-‘
‘No Mason! There’s no excuse’ you cried but your loud voice had stirred Gee awake and her bleary eyes were right on Mason.
‘Come on Gee, let’s go to bed. We can cuddle for a little bit, okay?’ You whispered, walking straight towards the door but her tiny hands Were grabbing straight for the boy you furious with.
‘Dada’
‘No, Uncle Masons going to his room’ you told her. Loud enough so Mason could hear and as soon as he was out of Gee’s sight she began to cry hysterically. ‘Come on Gee, it’s okay. Mummy’s here now’ you told her trying to do anything you could to soothe her but nothing was working.
Guilt flooded you for the second time that day but now it was for a different reason. You were still feeling a little awkward about earlier and knew you shouldn’t have snapped like you did as he was just trying his best, but the idea of Gee being sick scared you and Mason was the only one around to take it out on.
You figured she was crying just because she felt so sick but when Mason appeared in your doorway around ten minutes later, the two of you looked up and over to him and only then she began to calm down as she reached for him. It was at that moment you realised she was upset because she thought Mason had left her.
He didn’t say a word, just came and sat in front of you so he could hold Gee’s hand and her sobs disappeared almost immediately. His big brown eyes flashing to yours but they were back on Gee almost instantly as a look of worry washed over him.
‘Lay down, I think it’s best you stay here. She won’t stop crying otherwise’ you told him quietly but he seemed hesitant.
‘Oh I-‘
‘Just do it… please’ you told him softly. ‘I need to get ready for bed and I’ll be back’ you gulped and with that you grabbed your things and went to the bathroom. Not taking too long to get changed and take your makeup off before you were rushing back to them. Gee now wide awake and looking up at Mason as he tried his best to make her smile but you noticed he toned it down as soon as you were back. Laying her on the bed in the middle of the pair of you so you could both look at her but you kept silent as you watched her giggle at Masons silly faces.
‘Why does she keep touching your lips?’ You asked quietly after a while. Not missing the way her little chubby fingers were repeatedly reaching up for his mouth and you noticed his cheeks turn pink as he tried not to smile.
‘I think she wants me to sing her our song’
‘Your song?’
‘Yeah, whenever I put her down for naps or to sleep I always sing to her. I’ve been singing to her a lot tonight to try and cheer her up’ He giggled nervously and you felt your heart melt for him just that little bit more.
‘You never sing for me’
‘That’s cause you said my voice sound like nails in a blender’ he joked, his eyes flashing up to yours but he clearly didn’t know where he stood still so he was quick to look away.
‘Well even so, Gee obviously likes it. You should sing to her now. It might help her sleep’
‘I don’t know…’
‘Come on, she’s practically begging you’ you encouraged and you knew you were breaking him down.
‘Well I can’t do it with you watching me’ he laughed, embarrassment written all over his face so you did the only thing you could think of and rolled over to your other side so you were facing away from the pair of them and the sound of his little laugh before he cleared his throat made you smile.
‘I would take the stars out of the sky for you
Stop the rain from falling if you asked me to’
You knew the song immediately. One of your mum’s favourites that she would listen to at home but listening to Mason sing it so softly to your baby gave the lyrics a whole new meaning and you felt every hair on your body standing up as you listened on.
‘I'd do anything for you, your wish is my command
I could move a mountain when your hand is in my hand’
You could hear the smile in his voice, and hear the laugh coming from Gee as she listened to him. Your eyes filling up almost instantly as he sounded so sincere and you couldn’t believe how lucky you were to have a friend like Mason who gave his all for a child that wasn’t even his.
‘Words cannot express how much you mean to me
There must be some other way to make you see
If it takes my heart and soul, you know I'd pay the price
Everything that I possess I'd gladly sacrifice’
You knew he meant every word he was singing just by the tone of his voice and as the song took on a whole new meaning to you, you felt your eyes spillover as you heard your baby giggling.
‘Oh, you to me are everything
The sweetest song that I could sing
Oh, baby, oh, baby’
You couldn’t take it anymore. Turning round to look at him and his eyes flashed to yours immediately. The bridge of his nose a deep red still as he was clearly a little embarrassed you’d heard him sing but to you it was the most beautiful thing you’d ever heard.
‘I’m sorry Mase’ you whispered. ‘I didn’t mean to have a go earlier, I was just worried’ you told him. Eyes filling with tears again as you took in his guilty face but soon enough his own face looked just as miserable as you felt.
‘I know love, it’s okay’
‘No it’s not. I was awful to you when all you’ve ever done is look after us. You know I trust you with Gee 100% and I’m sorry if I made you feel at different’ you gulped. ‘I see it every day how much you love her and we really don’t deserve you’
‘Y/n, it’s fine. I should have told you earlier I just wanted you to have a good night and I thought I could do it’
‘You did though Mase. You did everything right, see?’ You smiled. Motioning down to Gee who was laying there as happy as Larry but you could tell from the yawns she was ready for sleep. ‘She just needed a little bit more time for the medicine to kick in but she’s alright’
‘I was just worried’ he told you. His bottom lip wobbling and it really hit you how much this whole evening had upset him.
‘I know you were’ you sighed. Picking up a now barely awake Gee so you could place her in her crib next to you before turning back to Mason with your arms open for him. ‘Come here’
He didn’t need to be told twice. Shuffling over and laying his head on your chest so you could hold him while stroking his hair and you felt him deflate in your arms.
‘I really am sorry, Mason’ you whispered in his ear. ‘I was just worried too but I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that’
‘I know you were. That’s why I didn’t want to call you, which I know is stupid’ he sighed. ‘Are we okay? I feel like you’ve been avoiding me all day’
You felt even worse now knowing he’d picked up on your mood but there was no way you were telling him how you’d overheard him earlier so you just nodded your head. Wracking your brain for some sort of excuse to tell him but you were coming up short.
‘We’re okay, Mase. I’m really sorry for how I’ve acted today I’ve just been a bit stressed lately but it’s not your fault’
‘Okay’ he whispered. Kissing just over your heart as that was the only place he could reach and you felt your heart flutter at his softness and the love you felt for your best friend. ‘Gimme five minutes and I’ll go back to my room’
‘Don’t go, I’m comfy’ you whispered. Hearing him chuckle as he held you tighter but soon enough he was getting heavy and you knew he’d fallen asleep.
You didn’t have big arguments, but when you fell out it was usually your fault. But Mason being Mason always forgave you even when you didn’t feel like you deserved it.
You did your best to forget about Mason's confession and as the months passed you managed to get back into your normal routine with him. You and Gee still cheering him on from the sidelines but this season was turning out to be even weirder than the last.
The season wasnt over yet but it had been really tough for Mason. Ever since the World Cup he’d been carrying an injury and a few weeks ago he’d finally had surgery to correct the issue. He hadn’t played in a really long time and since he had a week in between recovery sessions he’d made the choice to come up and see you both.
It was perfect timing really since Ell had taken you away for a few days to her husband Noah’s families house in the south of France and the five of you had had the best time. Sending Mason Cute snaps of the kids on the beach but all he did was warn you to keep them apart as Gee was too young for a boyfriend.
y/n
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liked by masonmount, ell_197, lukeshaw23 and others
y/n our first little holiday 🥺🩷 wouldn’t be the same without our besties. Thank you for inviting us into your home and making us feel like family 🥰 forever grateful for your kindness
masonmount my girls ❤️ cant wait to see you all
y/n we’ve missed you so much masey!!!
ell_197 the best trip 😘 I’m planning the next one as we speak
y/n so thankful for you 🩷 we had the best time ever and I loved watching our babies have fun together 😩
masonmount she’s not allowed a boyfriend
ell_197 who? 🤣
masonmount both of them 😌
Mummy_y/n wish we were with you both 😍
y/n us too 🥺 but we’ll see you real soon
Mason being free meant he was able to pick you up from the airport and at 3am your heart stuttered as Gee ran as fast as her little legs could take her into Mason’s waiting arms before he squeezed her like he never wanted to let go. Only opening his arm when you came close so he could pull you in too and the feeling of home flooded you.
This was the first time Mason had met Ell and her family and they seemed just as enamoured by him as Gee was. Noah admitting he was a big fan and was trying his hardest to get him to come and play for Man United. Mason just smiled and laughed like he usually did when someone said the same but you could see there was something else behind it this time.
You were home soon enough though. Popping Gee in her room so she could sleep before making your way back to the living room. You still felt wide awake and Mason had offered to make you a tea and to maybe watch a film as he wasn’t tired either due to his nap earlier, so you got yourself settled and began absentmindedly scrolling through your phone.
There was a reason you never went on Facebook and right now was a perfect reminder as to why.
Facebook was full of updates from people you hadn’t spoken to in years or elderly family members posting badly taken selfies and stupid opinions but after an email popped up saying a girl you hadn’t heard of in years had posted a picture your curiosity got the better of you and you clicked on the link.
It was from there you went on a downward spiral. Mindlessly scrolling through your feed as you became reacquainted with people you hadn’t thought of in years. Wondering why half of these people even still used this god forsaken app until you came to a past that made you stop in your tracks.
‘I don’t think I’ve done the popcorn right’ Mason suddenly bellowed through the halls and as his voice got closer you sat yourself up on your sofa and tried to look like you hadn’t just had the biggest shock of your life.
‘I mean how difficult is it to microwave a bag?’ He carried on. ‘I didn’t think it would be that hard but I shook it and there’s still loads of kernels in there’ he complained. Finally flopping down next to you and you knew once he cast his eyes in your direction it was over for you. ‘Hey, y/n what’s wrong?’
How were you even supposed to explain your way out of this one? Mason was your best friend and knew you inside out so there was no lying to him but you weren’t sure you could get the words out to tell him exactly.
‘It’s Jack’ you sighed. His name leaving a sour taste on your tongue and you knew as soon as Mason stiffened besides you were in for a barrage of questions.
‘Jack? What? has he tried to talk to you or something?’
‘No no, I was just on Facebook and I must have forgotten to block him on there since I never use it and a post from him came up’
‘Oh okay, I get it must be tough to see his face again’
‘It’s not just that’ you sighed. Passing him your phone with a shaking hand to show him the picture and you didn’t even need to look at him to know he was shocked by what he saw.
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You didn’t even know Jack was dating again, let alone be ready to propose to someone and the fact you could tell exactly where it was made it hurt even more. The place you’d planned on visiting once you’d both saved up enough to live out your big dream and looking at him living it without you felt suffocating. Like the elephant from the picture was sat on your chest so it could crush you until you never breathed again and all you wanted was to flee the scene and scream your lungs out.
‘Oh love, I’m so sorry’
‘It’s fine, you didn’t do anything’ you shrugged, taking your phone back from him before locking it and you couldn’t decide if you wanted to talk about it or not. Thankfully Mason made that decision for you and started going off about him and how he was never right for you in hopes it would make you feel better and you couldn’t deny shit talking about him for a bit made you smile a tiny bit.
‘You know I never liked him’ Mason told you after his big rant and when he took your hand in his he squeezed it tightly.
‘I know’ you laughed ‘I don’t care for him too much either’
‘What’s got you all upset then?’ He asked. Pulling you into his side a bit further and you rested your head on his shoulder so you could talk without looking at him.
‘I don’t even know’ you shrugged. ‘Its just weird to see I guess. Makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me’
‘There’s nothing wrong with you at all’
‘But if he can do it for her, like grow up and be a proper man then why couldn’t he do that for me?’
‘Because he wasn't meant for you’
‘Who is meant for me then huh? Cause they’re taking their bloody sweet time getting here’ you laughed but there was no humour in it.
I’m meant for you Mason thought. But he kept his lips zipped as he just wanted to be there for you.
The more you thought about him the angrier and more upset you became. Tears eventually spilling over onto your cheeks and there was no way you could hide them from Mason.
‘I know you didn’t like him, but he was the first boy I really loved, you know?’ You croaked. Looking up to Mason for a bit of sympathy and thankfully he was giving you just that. ‘The first one who told me they saw a future with me and mapped it out for us. Who wasn’t afraid to show me off even on my bad days and yeah it sucked the way it ended but we were happy once’
‘I know you were. And I know it’s cheesy but if you can be happy with him then imagine how happy you could be with me’
‘Wait… with you?’ You questioned. Mason's face paling as he realised what he’d said. A slip of the tongue that he was meant to keep inside but now it was out in the open and you could tell he was flustered.
‘Oh uh, no I didn’t meant me I um, I meant like-‘
‘No… you said you. You meant you’ you pressed, wanting him to just come out and say it but you knew he wasn’t going to. Fighting with his whole being to not let anything else slip out.
‘Y/n I-‘
‘Just be honest with me’ you told him firmly. Wanting him to come out and tell you what you already knew but now his face was bright red and even though he’d seemily backed him into corner he wasn’t coming out anytime soon.
‘Please y/n’
‘Do you… do you still have feelings for me?’ You asked. A mix of tiredness and your frustration about what you’d seen getting the better of you and as he tried to stutter out another excuse you lost it.
‘What? I-‘
‘Why are you doing this to me? You’re just as bad as him sometimes. Fucking with my emotions like this all the time. I told you when we were kids how I felt but here we are again. You’re making everything about you!’
‘I didn’t-‘
‘Whatever I don’t care. I’m going to bed’ you huffed. Storming off upstairs and slamming your door behind you in hopes that would send him a bit more of a message but as soon as you’d flopped down onto your bed you’d regretted the way you’d spoken to him. Tears springing in your eyes once more but you just let them flow, not ready to talk to anyone just yet as you needed to unscramble your thoughts
Mason had been sat with his thoughts for around five minutes when he heard footsteps coming back down the stairs but he knew straight away they weren’t yours. Waiting quietly for Gee to make her way into the living room and when she appeared in the doorway with the Gem the giraffe, the Teddy he’d gifted her when she’d just been born, under her arm Mason sent her a warm smile.
‘What are you doing up and about, misses? You should be asleep’
‘Where’s mummy’ she mumbled, her voice slow and sleepy as she rubbed her eyes and he realised she must have woken up when you’d slammed the door to your bedroom.
‘She’s just gone upstairs for a little bit. What’s wrong, pickle?’
‘Loud noise’ she pouted and Mason's suspicions were confirmed.
‘Oh I’m sorry, Gee. Would you like to come and sit with me for a bit?’ He asked, praying she would say yes so he wouldn’t have to go and disturb you but thankfully Gee nodded and made her way over to Mason. Standing in between his legs with her arms raised so he could lift her into his lap and once she was comfy with Gem cuddled into her chest, she was asleep again soon after. Her face smooshed into his shoulder as she laid across his body, holding onto his hoodie string with her tiny fist and he held her tightly before kissing her head good night.
It was around half an hour later when you realised you probably owed Mason an apology for blowing up like you had. Rubbing your eyes and sitting yourself up so you could build up the courage to make your way back down in hopes he was still on the sofa.
You came down to an unexpected sight, Mason still in his seat but a little visitor was asleep on his chest and your heart melted as you watched his hand rub over her back before he kissed the top of her head. Seemingly engrossed in whatever he had on the TV but he must have seen you moving in the corner of his eye and he turned to face you with a petrified expression.
‘What's Gee doing down here?’ You asked quietly.
‘She woke up when you went upstairs’ he told you and you instantly knew it was when you’d slammed the door. Guilt flooding you straight away that you’d managed to upset everyone under this roof tonight unintentionally. ‘I was gonna take her up in a bit she just seemed comfy here’
‘It’s okay, I’ll do it’ you nodded. Walking over and carefully picking her up from him and your heart thumped as she clung to your neck but that wasn’t the only reason. She smelt just like Mason as she’d been laying on him for so long and the need for his comfort consumed you. You just didn’t know if he’d want to give it to you this time.
It was a fairly simple job getting her back into bed. Usually when Gee was asleep she was dead to the world which made you feel even worse that you’d managed to wake her up but once she was back comfy under the covers with Gem cuddled under her chin, you stayed with her for a few minutes to check she was okay.
‘Mummy’s sorry baby’ you whispered. Pressing a kiss to her forehead as you smoothed her hair from her face but you knew there was someone else you needed to go and say sorry to.
Mason was still sat in the same spot, head resting on his hand that was propped up on the arm of the sofa and when you walked in he looked like a deer caught in the headlights. You didn’t give him the chance to say anything and you didn’t speak either, just crawled onto the sofa next to him and took up the space Gee just was. Nestling your head into his shoulder as you sprawled across him and even though the pair of you needed to talk things through, you were both giggling as he wrapped his arms around you and held you like a baby. Popping a kiss on your cheek as you got each comfy in each other's arms, a comfortable slice falling over you but you knew you needed to speak.
When you looked up at him, he was already looking down at you. Eyes full of confusion and hurt and even though you were terrified to open up to him, his scent that was so strong on Gee was now filling your senses and you felt at peace.
You felt at home.
‘I'm sorry for blowing up at you’
‘It’s okay-‘
‘No it’s not, Mase. You're not my punching bag and I shouldn't have said all that to you. It’s not your fault he’s gone and done that, I was just upset. The whole safari thing, that was my thing you know? Our thing, even. Not his’
‘I know love, and that’s what I meant earlier. He was a dickhead and you still wanted to go there with him, imagine the fun we’d have? And you don’t even need to imagine cause I promised you when we were kids I was taking you and I intend to stick to that promise’
‘Really’ you pouted.
‘Of course. You know when Gee’s a little older and she knows what’s going on and I’ve got the time I’m taking all of us, okay? I promised I would and I keep my promises’
‘Now I feel even more like a twat’ you laughed but he just held you closer. ‘I’m really sorry, Mase. It’s just hard. He always seems to get what he wants you know? He doesn’t deserve a happy ending’
‘I know it is, but you’ll get yours one day though i promise’ he whispered. ‘Shall we get you to bed? We can talk about it tomorrow if you still want to but I don’t want you down here winding yourself up’
‘Will you stay with me tonight?’ You asked. Looking up into big brown eyes. ‘I just know I’ll go crazy if I’m on my own’
‘Okay’ he replied shyly. Kissing your forehead gently before holding you close as you buried your nose into his neck. ‘If that’s what you want’
You realised in that moment that was a perfect phrase to sum up yours and Masons friendship.
If that’s what you want.
All he ever did was give you what you wanted to try and make you happy and as you laid in his arms you knew the next time he needed you you would be there for him in ways you never had before.
Little did you know that he’d be needing your more than he ever had sooner than you thought.
‘Will you sing to me like you sing to Gee?’ you asked. Laughing as you wrapped your arms around his bicep and nuzzled into his shoulder once you were both ready and in bed and you could tell from the way he laughed it was a no, but soon enough his soft voice was filtering through the room. Barely a whisper as he sung to you the song that was always reserved for Gee and it must have had the desired effect as soon enough you were sleeping peacefully next to him.
Mason kept singing though, using the fact that you were asleep to help him out a bit as the second verse of the song he always pictured you. It was like whoever wrote it had plucked the lyrics straight from Masons brain and you being asleep gave him the courage to finally sing this part to you.
‘Though you're close to me, we seem so far apart
Maybe given time you'll have a change of heart
If it takes forever, girl, then I'm prepared to wait
The day you give your love to me, won't be a day too late’
Tag list - @saltyheartnightmare @harvestmount @prideofpd @sid-vii @carlottawllms @footiehoemcfc @katharinanadiaa @whenelifallsinlove @neverinadream @cityzenchick @msnmnt @stikkibun @masonmtxo @chillymountsjess @yoursselo @maseymm @feelinglikeineedlotsofnaps @leclerc13
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finelinefae · 6 months ago
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Could we please get a check in with the aviator? I love them like no other i swear
synopsis: y/n finds out she's pregnant with Aviator!Hs baby.
wordcount: 2.6 k
a/n: this isn't really a check-in more so something that happens a year into their relationship because i think about this moment a lot and i needed to write about it !!!!
also first one shot for the aviator whoop!!
. . .
It was the middle of the night. 
Y/N had been up since dinner, laying beside the toilet bowl so she could vomit the contents of her stomach every ten minutes. She’d stuck the thermometer under her armpit to check if she had a fever, only to find it at a completely normal temperature. 
She was tired and frustrated and her head hurt from throwing up so much. She hadn’t had a wink of sleep and she still had to get to work in the morning. 
The door swung open and Y/N lifted her tired eyes to find Nancy looking down at her, “You’ve been throwing up since dinner,” She held out a glass of cold water and Y/N gladly took it. 
“Sorry,” Y/N groaned, after taking a sip, “I’ve tried taking medicine but nothing seems to be working.”
Nancy sighed, “You don’t need to apologise, do you want me to call Harry?”
“No,” Y/N shook her head, “He’s been working all week, he’s probably exhausted.”
“Okay well you can’t just sit by the toilet all night, do you want me to warm you up some ginger ale?” Y/N sighed, considering her offer before pushing herself up from the floor and following Nancy to the kitchen.
She sat at the table, clutching her stomach and ignoring the nausea she felt. Nancy took out some ginger ale and began to heat in a saucepan over the stovetop. “I just don’t understand how I can feel like this but not even have a fever,” Y/N huffed. 
Nancy shrugged, “Are you due? Normally I feel pretty sick a week or so before my period starts,”
A dip forms between Y/N’s brows, “I don’t think so, I’m pretty sure-” Y/N paused, thinking back to the last time she had had her period. She had been waiting for it to arrive this week but one glance at the calendar on the kitchen refrigerator revealed that it was already a week late. 
Panic surged through her, “Nancy,” She gasped, looking up at her roommate and friend, “It’s late.”
Nancy’s eyes widened, “Are you sure?”
Y/N’s mind was racing to try and piece together the days but she knew that she was right and her period was over a week late.
Y/N didn’t have to say anything for Nancy to understand what she was thinking. “W-what am I going to do?” Y/N panicked as dread ensued her, “I-I can’t have a baby, I can’t.”
“Y/N, it’s okay,” Nancy crouched down on the floor in front of her and took her hands, “It’s going to be okay. Tomorrow morning we’ll go down to the clinic and ask them to take a test to make sure.”
Y/N shook her head, “Not the morning, Harry will know and he’ll-” She covered her mouth, “Oh God, Harry, what if he hates me?”
Nancy scoffed, “How could he possibly hate you? I’ve never seen someone as in love with somebody as he is with you,”
“But Nancy, a baby. It’s too soon and he’s still got Elise and-” Y/N’s mind was whirring with thoughts as she thought about how her life was about to change if she really was pregnant. Elise was only four and their relationship was still relatively new - they’d only celebrated their year anniversary a month ago which was more than likely to be the reason that got her in this predicament. 
“Y/N, calm down,” Nancy soothed her, “Everything’s going to be fine. We’ll deal with these things after we find out whether you really are pregnant or not. For now, we’ll go to bed and think about it in the morning, okay?”
Y/N nodded slowly, trying to digest the words she was hearing. Nancy was right, she needed to not worry until she had confirmation from the nurse that she really was pregnant. She tried to pause her worries until the morning but not a wink of sleep occurred when her mind was whirring with thoughts about how Harry would react to the possibility of it all. 
. . .
Y/N felt sick to her stomach as she walked to the hangar where she knew Harry would be working. She’d been so many times now that she knew exactly where to go, following the path through the doors and round the back.
“Evening Y/N,” One of the boys said as she walked past, tipping his hat. Y/N forced a smile onto her face in reply.
She walked through the back doors and found Harry outside smoking a cigarette on his own, the sun setting behind him. Unlike how she usually felt whenever she was around him, Y/N began to panic wondering whether she should turn back now before she told him something that would change both their lives forever. 
Harry’s head lifted and a smile carved onto his face when his eyes landed on her. He threw his cigarette on the ground and stubbed it with his foot, “Hi birdy,” He walked over and embraced her in a hug, pressing a kiss to her lips. 
Y/N knew Harry had sensed something was wrong from how stiff she felt in his embrace. He pulled back but his arms stayed looped around her, “Wha’s wrong?” He frowned, “Y’okay?” He cupped her face in his hands and looked her in the eye.
Y/N pulled away, “I’m okay,” She lied and Harry immediately knew something was wrong when she took a step away from him. Usually, whenever they were together there was barely any space between them.  
“Hey, when do y’ lie to me?” He forced a smile, a pit of dread forming in his stomach.
Y/N’s eyes glistened, she sniffled and scrunched her nose to try and prevent herself from crying. “I just missed you is all,” 
“Birdy,” A dip formed between his brows, “M always right here y’ know that. Did something happen at work today?” 
Y/N shook her head, wrapping her arms around herself, “No,” She replied, “I-I need to tell you something.”
This time Harry really did begin to panic. He thought back to the past few months and wondered if he had done anything wrong to upset her in that time but every day had been as blissfully sweet as the last. He was so in love with Y/N and that love continued to grow every passing day. She was the first person he woke up to in the morning and the last person he saw at night - every day it was Y/N, the love of his life. 
So he couldn’t understand what had currently gotten her so distant with him or why she was being so vague and secretive whenever she was with Nancy, “Are you…Are you breaking up with me?” Harry voiced his biggest concern out loud.
Y/N almost gasped, reaching for his hand and holding it to her chest, “God Harry, no. No, of course not.”
He relaxed slightly but still wondered what was going on in her head that was so difficult to tell, “Wha’s wrong then baby?”
Y/N released a shuddery breath, looking away from him and down at the hand she was currently holding. She twisted the ring on his pinkie finger, one lone tear rolling down her cheek that she quickly brushed away. “Harry, I'm pregnant.” She whispered, barely loud enough for him to hear. 
Her heart thudded against her chest when she felt his hand stiffen. She could barely look up at him as she waited for him to say something.
Two rough hands cupped her cheeks and lifted her head up. Her eyes met his, lips parting to see tears rolling down his cheeks and the biggest smile she had ever seen stretched across his face, “We’re havin’ a baby?” He whispered in disbelief.
Y/N nodded slowly, “I found out this afternoon.”
A laugh escaped his lips, “Holy shit,” He let go of her and ran his fingers through his hair before covering his face with his hands and smiling beneath them.
Y/N stood waiting, still a little tense until he took one step towards her and picked her up in his arms, her dress twirling as he spun them round, “Holy shit we’re having a baby.” 
A wave of relief washed over her, Y/N finally mirrored the smile on his face when she saw the excitement on his face. 
He set her back on her feet, “You’re not mad?” Y/N asked. 
“Why would I be mad? This is my dream, I’ve always wanted to be a dad.” Harry was unable to rid himself of the smile on his face.
“I know but we’ve been together a year and-” 
Harry silenced her by smashing their lips together in a messy kiss, “I love you bigger than the whole sky Birdy, there is not a single person in this entire world I would rather have as the mother of my child.”
Y/N’s eyes watered and tears began to fall as she smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck. His hands fell to her tummy, “I can’t believe there’s a tiny human in there,” Harry chuckled in disbelief. 
“I love you so much Harry,” Y/N murmured, wondering why she was ever nervous to tell him in the first place. 
. . .
Safe to say, Harry had become somewhat even more obsessed with Y/N than he had ever been before.
“Tha’s my baby mama!” He whistled, wearing his grease-covered overalls as he slid off the wing of the plane and ran towards Y/N who was only a month pregnant.
Y/N’s cheeks heated, eyes darting around, “Shh, what if someone hears you?” 
They had yet to tell any of their friends or Harry’s brothers that Y/N was pregnant.  Nancy had been sworn to secrecy despite her boyfriend constantly pestering her over telling him what they were always whispering about whenever Y/N refused a drink at a party. Harry struggled to keep such a big secret from his siblings since he had always told them everything, but Y/N wanted to make sure everything was okay before they let the world know another baby would be entering their little family. 
“There’s no one around, don’t worry.” Harry smiled, a dimple carving into his cheek. 
She had the tiniest bump, barely even noticeable unless she was bloated, but he was obsessed all the same. His hands reached for her sides, feeling the small curve of her tiny bump as he held her. “Hi Harry,” Y/N grinned, “Thought we could walk to the clinic together.”
Today they would be having their first appointment together with their assigned midwife. Harry had been close to a kid at Christmas as he counted down the days until he got to hear his baby’s heartbeat. “Yeah, I’ll pack my stuff away and we’ll head on down,” He nodded but stopped to kiss her quickly, “Missed y’,” He murmured. 
Y/N laughed, “You saw me three hours ago,” 
“Much too long,” He countered, slipping away from her and going to pack his things away. 
He returned in a fresh white t-shirt and jeans, reaching for her hand and threading their fingers together as they walked down to the clinic. 
Harry could feel Y/N’s nerves bouncing off of her as they sat in the waiting room of the small office waiting for their midwife to call them in. She fiddled with her fingers in her lap, tapped her foot against the floor and chewed on her bottom lip. Every now and then her eyes would glance to the door like she was desperate to get out. 
He reached for her hand, holding it in his lap and playing with the small ring on her index finger. His thumb traced the mole in the middle of her wrist, her pulse fluttering beneath it. “Y’ okay?” He murmured.
“Jus’ nervous,” She admitted, “I don’t like doctor’s offices all that much.”
“Y’ not having second thoughts about the baby are you? Because if you were there are things we can do and talk about. I-I’d never force y’ to have a baby, y’know that right Birdy?” Harry said. 
Y/N’s eyes softened, she cupped his cheek in her hand, “I want this baby with you more than I want anything ever.”
Harry smiled, “Y’ mean that?” He needed that reassurance from her more than anything. 
“I mean it,” She kissed him quickly. 
The door clicked open and in walked the midwife, “Y/N Y/L/N?” 
Y/N took a deep breath, squeezing Harry’s hand as they stood up. The midwife, an older woman with kind eyes, gestured for them to follow her into a small room. There was a simple examination bed and a tall metal stand with a strange, trumpet-like device hanging from it.
“This is a fetal stethoscope,” the midwife explained, picking up the device. “It’s how we’ll listen to your baby’s heartbeat.”
Y/N climbed onto the bed, her heart racing. Harry stood by her side, never letting go of her hand. The midwife placed the wide end of the stethoscope on Y/N’s abdomen and pressed her ear to the other end.
The room was silent as the midwife concentrated. Then, her face lit up with a smile. “There it is,” she said, turning to the expectant parents. “Your baby’s heartbeat. Would you like to listen?”
Harry’s eyes widened as he nodded eagerly. The midwife handed him the earpiece, and he leaned down, his expression changing from nervousness to awe as he heard the rapid, steady thump of their baby’s heart.
“Our baby,” Harry whispered, his voice thick with emotion. 
Y/N could feel her eyes welling up as she watched him. Her hand reached out to thread through his curls as he pressed his ear to the earpiece once more and listened for the faint sound of a beating heart they had created, “Can y’ hear it?” Y/N smiled, tears rolling down her cheeks. 
“Tha’s our baby,” He repeated like he couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing.
“Tha’s right, H.” Y/N said softly.
Harry reached for her bump, placing both of his big, heavy palms on it. He lowered his head and pressed a small kiss to the spot above her belly button, “Hello baby,” He murmured, “How can I love you this much when all I can hear is y’ heart?” 
Y/N smiled, letting him have his moment, “Promise I’ll take such good care of it,” He continued to speak soft and slow, “Both yours and mamas,”
Harry reached for Y/N’s hand and held it in his own, his other palm resting right over her bump. He felt Y/N give his hand a gentle squeeze and wondered if she could hear just how fast his heart beat for her even without the earpiece.
“Don’t cry,” Harry smiled, reaching to wipe away Y/N’s tears. 
“I’m just happy,” Y/N sniffled, “You’re going to be such a good dad, Harry, I hope you know that.”
The words settled something in him. All his nerves seemed to melt away, replaced by an overwhelming sense of love and anticipation for the new life they were about to bring into the world together. 
A family of his own. 
“I love you birdy,” He leans down and speaks to the bump once more, “and I love you too, baby birdy.” Y/N laughed and watched as Harry continued in conversation with their baby, hearing nothing but a gentle heartbeat in reply to his voice.
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simpee9000 · 4 months ago
Text
Not Just Friends - Headcanons -
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M.List : Prologue : Part 1 : Part 2 : Part 3 : Part 4 : Part 5 : Part 6 : Part 7 : Part 8
Childhood best friends turned into something more, at least with the label. Katsuki Bakugo, a fast-rising hero and fast-learning guy who is ever so slow in getting attached to and loving someone. Even three long years into a relationship, and your friends even forget you're even dating. Nothing happening, spare a few kisses.. like 3 kisses, during high school. Graduated and living together, and you guys have done absolutely nothing to further the relationship. Are you sure you're not just friends? Also not edited!! CW: Smut, brief domestic violence discussion, virginity loss, aggressive flirting from creeps, gore with pro hero stuff (lmk if i missed any) Applies to all chapters regardless of it is in said chapter.
Dating since second year of highschool, the two of you shared your first kisses together in first year. The first time you saw him in the hospital with critical condition.
He's never made any moves to advance the relationship, despite having an obvious crush on you since you were ten.
he'd do the typical flirting that a middle school boy does. Teasing you, tripping you, stealing your pencil bag, the list goes on.
But he would become a mess when you would casually lean on him in conversation, his quirk going off at your closeness. Causing him to start yelling that a nerd shouldn't touch him, it'd infect him.
There was even a time where he helped you help after you tripped, you still held his hand when you were up right. The smile you gave him alone caused his hands to spark. Singeing yours slightly.
He somewhat vowed to himself after that, never wanting to touch you unless his quirk was perfected. Just another thing to add to the list of reasons to become number one hero.
while he did get a better handle of his quirk, he still struggled around you. Not at the small touches alone, but if you lingered in a hug for more than thirty seconds, he'd shove you away and hide the way his hands sparked.
The first kiss the two of you shared was under the strong drugs the hospital gave him, the quirk suppressing drugs. He leapt at the chance that he knew he couldn't hurt you.
He backed off a lot from that, avoiding it for almost a year, when he was suppressed again.
He knew that tactic wouldn't work for long, and you proved him right. Cornering him into a talk.
it was a long talk, he hated it every second. When you mentioned a relationship, he refused until you told him you'd move on. Not being able to stand the idea of you in a relationship with someone other than himself, he gave in.
Only the title between you changed though, in his defense he was busy and so were you. But honestly, he was avoiding the typical relationship. Knowing you'd want more. You gushed about it all of middle school after all, forcing him to watch a rom com every once in a while.
He hated that he couldn't do more. It tore him up inside. He tried any solution possible. Drying off his hands proved useless, sparking moments after. Washing his hands didn't work either, his quirk going off even under water.
He debated pills for a while, anything to turn his quirk off for just a second. Izuku convinced him out of that. He walked in Katsuki's room when he held the bottle of pills in his hand. Izuku instantly yelled at him, it could affect his entire career after all, and the drugs were in testing, who knew the long term side effects.
So he gave up.
The two of you started dating middle of second year, and he gave up towards the end. He resorted to anything possible to be near you but without touching.
You haven't complained about his distance, so he thought he was safe. That you'd be happy without all the touching you saw in a normal relationship.
Until he heard you talking with Mei. He was just stopping by your department so you could help him with his gear. But he heard Mei mention his name, clearly annoyed. You talked about how you thought he didn't like you anymore, at least in that way. Mentioning how he kept you five feet away at all times.
He didn't want to lose you, at least for something that was wrong.
Letting the two of you share small touches more often, slowly letting you in. He didn't let anyone touch him, so he hoped that this would help prove it.
Slowly, he opened up more. No one was allowed to touch his hair, or any part of his face really, but he lets you ruffle his hair with just a glare on his face.
When he doesn't like a touch, all he does is give a brief shake of his head and that's all you need to know to stop, an unspoken agreement that he couldn't be more thankful for.
His throat and mouth are a huge no for him, anywhere near his ability to breath and he hates it.
Sudden movements also freak him out, causing his to grip your hands. Majority of the time it doesn't spook him, just on the bad days. He's able to predict your movements any other time, so you could never catch him off guard.
He also lets you trace his hands. They're often smooth, slightly rough from hero work but in the morning they're soft as ever. So any time you want, he lets you trace his knuckles, stopping you after a few minutes. Too afraid that he'll blow your hands off.
He showed his love in his actions, not his touch.
When you moved in together, he let you chose your room. Let you decorate the apartment as well, anything to make you smile.
Cooking you dinner every night, making extra of any meal just for you.
He remembers every small thing about you, proving it every once in a while with a comment or gift.
Your favorite tv show from when your five? He comments about how he saw a ad on TV about it. Leaving you shocked that he remembered, you mentioned it once.
He also mocks you lovingly, obviously. Calling you stupid if you forgot to switch laundry. Repeating things you say with a high pitched voice, for no reason. It's annoying, but you can do it back with the return being a shove, or a long conversation where you both pretend to be the other, voices ridiculous.
Bickering doesn't end there, you guys constantly jab at each other.
Arguments don't happen for just the reason, it taking a casual turn rather than aggressive.
You two have had maybe a handful of arguments, only one of those turning into a fight. The both of you going at it about which All Might era was the best.
Another playful thing he does is bump shoulders with you anytime he passes by you.
Whenever he stands behind you, he puts his head on your shoulder. He regrets that now, because you started doing it back. Making him side step and include you in whatever he was doing before, not being able to handle your face so close to his.
He truly thought you were happy, not having heard a single complaint about anything since. He was proud of himself, glad he could make you happy.
Honestly, he wished he could touch you. Romantically, sexually, it didn't matter. He wanted any of it.
To be able to hug you for more than a minute, to let himself relax around you.
He craved it so badly, it ate him up inside.
But as long as you were his, just as much as he was yours, he'd be content. He loved you and you loved him. You stuck around. He wouldn't do anything to sacrifice it.
So he stuck to his rules, changing nothing on the way he acted, not wanting to push you away by doing too much.
Most of all, he was still too worried to hurt you.
He doesn't think he'll ever not be worried.
That was probably not even headcanons, likely a simplified version of the prologue. I might post another list about how he thinks during the story, but it would only be posted after I finish the story.
As always, lmk what you think <3
M.List in case you missed it at the top <3
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I'll no longer add people to the taglist if they haven't commented there. It's too much to keep up with all the new part. Hope you understand <3
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