#even if i could just get back into physio... ugh

[thehallstara]

real stuck in a "oh my health can't be that bad/i just don't have as much willpower and resilience as everyone else i know/i'm making things up/why can't i just power through this am i just lazy" loop rn and it's. hell.

[cher-rei]

afterglow pt- 11 [ T.A.A ]

pairings: trent alexander arnold x fem!reader

summary: young and aspiring marketing and business major jamie carter (you) is privileged with working alongside the liverpool marketing and public relations team while also getting entangled with their star player and right back, trent alexander arnold.

genre(s): friends to lovers, fluff, slowish?? burn

[wc: 4.2k] [part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] [part 6] [part 7] [part 8] [part 9] [part 10] [part 12]

notes: so many things are happening at once, I kid you not.

“that reminds me.” you snapped your fingers in realisation. “are you free this weekend? I wanted us to go to the planetarium.”

clara who was sat opposite you on the couch at the axa training lounge hummed in thought, despite her already knowing the answer. “unfortunately not. I have family coming over.”

you dropped your phone into your lap with a groan at the familiar answer. this was the third time in a month that she's been unable to hang out. “dude are you serious? are you ditching me because you're like secretly a spy or something.”

your retort made her laugh, but she shook her head. you couldn't deny that it made you feel slightly upset that clara has been busy whenever you wanted to hangout, and there was a flicker in your mind wondering if she was being serious or just didn't want to be around you too much.

you continued to scroll aimlessly through your phone while clara watched with a somber look. “why don't you invite you know who over?”

without saying anything you simply looked at her, the look in your eyes being enough of a tell tale of how you felt about that. trent had been over at your apartment nearly everyday for the past week— not that you were complaining of course. over the course of the week, you'd gotten closer than you expected.

it's not like either of you had anything better to do, so your afternoons after work consisted of making supper, for two instead of just yourself, and lounging around just for the fun of it. however, this week he'd be busy with his physio and you didn't want to interrupt that part of his routine.

so you started to mentally plan out your weekend which you'd be spending alone. “how do you feel about mason mount by the way?”

the question was out of the blue, seeing as you just saw an edit of the footballer on your for you page and it got you thinking. you and maya had talked about it before, she liked to call it “the downfall of mason mount”. at some point, there was a bit of delusion in you that believed that chelsea would take him back.

something flickered in clara's eyes, and she visibly stiffened for a moment. what do you--” she tucked a loose strand of her behind her ear and cleared her throat. “--what do you mean? I feel normal about him, yeah like the normal amount.”

your face scrunched at her answer. “okay? but what do you think about him?”

once again, she began rambling and you wondered if she was even understanding the words coming from her mouth.

“what's that supposed to mean?” she laughed, but the awkwardness didn't go unnoticed. “It's not like I know the guy.”

that wasn't what you meant at all but clara misunderstood entirely. your gaze traveled to her hands that was fidgeting with the hem of her shirt but you pushed the thought to the side. with a sigh you nodded slowly. “uhm, okay then. world cup mason was an era though, ugh take me back.”

“yeah, the best,” clara trailed off and all you could was stare at her blankly, your lips slightly parted in confusion.

the day came to an end quickly, so when you finished up answering the last of your emails and going over the footage of the new ‘up the reds!’ episode, you called it a day and dashed straight to your car.

seeing as it was friday, you didn't need anything and took the liberty of hopping straight into the shower when you got home. of course, you were tackled by a very excited honey on your way in and gave her the necessary attention for a bit.

“hm, we can definitely take a run tomorrow,” you said and gave honey a quick kiss on her head.

you ran yourself a hot relaxing bath and decided to treat this as a self care weekend. it was a peaceful evening which was just what you needed to unwind from the last few weeks of work and confused feelings. when you got out of the bath, you stayed in your towel for a bit and began prepping your supper.

when you finished up with your skincare and got into your pajamas all you needed to do was finish up with your supper. you had the music blasting from your living room, your taylor swift playlist being as bipolar as ever.

spamjam._.

liked by fía.messi and 1 324 223 others

spamjam._. weekend reset🌙

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fía.messi smash. [liked by spamjam._.]

no.elle look at honey 😭 [liked by spamjam._.]

→ spamjam._. uhm hello??? girl where have you been??

→ no.elle studying 😭 but I'm back now!!

→ spamjam._. studying for 4 years straight 😃 you left me for germany!

→ no.elle. shut up you're making me sound like a horrible person!

→ spamjam._. I'm gonna need a very long explanation then, my dms are open bb xx

saffiekahn woah there, second pic 🤭 [liked by spamjam._.]

→ curtisjr ??? literally what

→ saffiekahn don't worry about it hun xx

you sung and danced along to your shuffled playlist in the kitchen while plating your food. and by the time you were finished, your phone started to ring. the music was quickly paused and you answered the video call with an excited smile.

“I saw your instagram post and I felt the need to rush over immediately,” sofía said from the other end if the line.

a laugh ticked at your throat as you set your phone up and sat at the bar stool while you ate. “how are you holding up?”

a heavy sigh left your friend's mouth and she went off camera for a moment to shut her room door. “I'm okay. but I'm not the one recovering from an acl injury anymore.”

a frown formed on your face at her answer and you realised who she was referring to. “I can't imagine how he must be feeling right now.” you picked at your food for a moment. “but it was nice of you to offer to help him you know?”

sofía smiled, and made herself comfortable under her blanket. “pablo's strong, he’s just a little lost right now.” there was a hint of hurt in her voice as she thought back to the day that gavi tore his acl, recalling just how her stomach dropped when she got the call from his mother.

“and he means a lot to me so I want to be with him right now. jamie you should've seen the look in his eyes when I got to the hospital.”

sure you weren't there but you saw the videos and could account for the pain in his eyes as he limped off the pitch. an acl injury was no joke either, so this was really a tell tale of how much sofía truly cared for him even if she was always complaining about him.

the two of you continued to chat for a bit, catching up since so much had happened since you last saw each other at the last clasíco. “and how are you and trent?”

sofía's question made you cringe. “don't go quiet on me now, I know that somethings up.”

yes something was up. but you weren't sure what it was. “uhm, i think it's going somewhere. it's still too early too tell though, but moves are being made.”

on the other end of the line sofía sighed in relief, causing you to roll your eyes. “and I thank clara for that.”

the following day, you started your morning off with a some fruit oatmeal and coffee before changing into a pair of leggings, a tank top and a zip up hoodie to throw over for your walk with honey.

the weather was a bit chilly despite the sun beating down on you. you and honey took a trip to the park and played around for a while, got some coffee and then went back home. after your shower, you fed honey and got yourself something to eat and sat down to do some work.

you checked the team's schedule for the rest of the month and made notes for filming days and photoshoots, as well as the football match that you and trent had agreed upon a while ago. it was going to be a charity match, which you'd be organising and setting up.

then there was the efl cup final at the end of february as well. the next few months were going to be hell and you could feel it creeping up already. you packed up your work things at about 12:45 and decided to watch some t.v for a bit.

with honey in your lap and the t.v playing in the background you scrolled through your socials when something popped up on your feed. your jaw dropped at clara's post.

clarashaw

liked by maya.carter and 98 234 others

clarashaw weekend with my babies 💌

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you didn't know whether to call her or wait it out. she lied to you about having family over, but you weren't even mad. heck she had a boyfriend!

honey squirmed in your lap and you soothed her back to sleep. “your aunt is a liar. but we'll call her tomorrow so she can enjoy her little date weekend.”

“guess who's back?” you joked and waved at your viewers through the camera.

it had been so long since you last streamed, and you missed it. even if you were just here to chat for a few hours, you felt the need to catch up with your fan base who were more than delighted to have you back.

“how is everyone doing? it’s been so long since we've done this.” your eyes ran along the comments on your monitor, when one caught your eye. you hurriedly hopped off your chair and left the room, coming back with honey in your arms.

the live chat started flooding with comment on how cute she was. the puppy in your arms wagged her rail in excitement as she saw herself on the monitor. “this is an official introduction. trent was the first of everyone to see her, and I took her to work the other day where she was treated like a celebrity by the way.”

you spoke to your viewers about how work had been so far, and how you had the opportunity to meet so many people. everyone already knew about sofía, but there was one person that was more recent.

“okay, so we can play a little game,” you said with a cheeky smile. “I'll give you guys a hint, she's the wag of someone who's club we played recently.”

immediately your chat was flooding with names of every wag to date, which had you rolling your head back in laughter. after a while you gave them one last hint— she was someone that you mentioned on stream a very long time ago, and that you described her as “a gift from the heavens”.

from that, the correct answer came in. “yes!! sophia weber!!”

you put your hand to your heart at the remembrance of your meeting at the emirates stadium the week before. you were coming down from the press table when you bumped into her. she flashed you the most breathtaking smile and you felt your knees go weak, fumbling over your words as you tried to apologise.

“and the best part is that she knew who I was!” you gawked. “like who even am I? I'm no one and she knew my name! and said that she'd like me to sit with her the next time we play arsenal.”

the topic then changed to the lastest television drama as you shared recommendations for shows and movies.

“firstly I think they did a great jo–” you were interrupted by your phone buzzing on your table. with a smile you answered seeing that it was jobe, probably calling to check up with you.

“hi, my angel what's up? you're on speaker by the way,” you answered and he went silent for a moment, not having registered that you were streaming.

when he got the message he greeted the stream as well, followed by a bashful laugh. “I called to check up on you. you know, to see if you're alive and all.”

the sound of jobe's voice made you smile. “oh, so you didn't call because you missed me?”

a scoff echoed through the other end of the line. “me? miss you? never in a million years.”

you hummed and played along with his antics, clearly he didn't want to be embarrassed. suddenly you recalled the fiasco from earlier on in the week when trent came over. “also can you please explain how you blocked me from our netflix account to everyone? I'd really appreciate a full explanation.”

jobe burst into a fit of laughter at that, and you sat patiently and waited for an explanation. you, jobe and jude shared a netflix account and have for years, and when you tried to log in the other evening after trent left, the password was wrong.

“it wasn't me though! jude changed the password, I didn't even know I swear,” he defended himself by shamelessly throwing his older brother under the bus.

you shook your head and looked at your camera. “I'm the one paying for the account by the way.” you paused at the sound of his resounding laughter through the speaker. “not the two professional footballers.”

“I'm like 99% sure that you make more money than I do.”

the call didn't last long after that, but you appreciated the call. you hung up after wishing him luck for his match the following day, waiting until he said that he loved you to fully end the call.

the weekend was finally coming to an end. and that meant one thing— clara was about to get beat up (obviously that was an exaggeration). it was after lunch that you called her, but you stayed silent on the line for a good few minutes to emphasise your feeling of betrayal.

you were in the kitchen when the sound of the front door opening rung through your apartment, as well as honey’s excited barking. that was a clear indication that trent was here so you weren't worried.

clara was rambling on about explaining herself when you felt the presence of someone behind you, his hands resting on your sides to tickle you but you fought him off with a stern look.

“I'm not mad that you have a boyfriend, I'm just confused that you lied to me,” you said honestly which caught trent's interest.

he watched with curious eyes as you took a seat on the island and stood opposite you, waiting for an explanation. to this you raised your hand, telling him to hold while you got the full story.

trent was impatient as he listened to you talk to clara, having no clue what was being said from her side. all he got was that she had a boyfriend and that you might know him.

you sighed at clara's words. “yeah but what was the big de– you're what???!”

both honey and trent jolted at the sound of your scream. the look of utter shock in your eyes told trent that this was groundbreaking information and he needed to know. he'd been silent for long enough, his curiosity was eating him up.

this was when you got off the counter and began pacing the kitchen, with him following after you like a lost puppy. he tried to get you attention but you waved him off every single time.

you stood with your hands in your hips. “how long have you known? were you surprised? you'be been engaged for how long?? clara you've been screwing the enemy for 4 years!?”

trent's mouth fell agape, and he couldn't help himself. “screwing the enemy??”

your hand flew to cover trent's mouth, because clara didn't know that he was there until he decided to speak up. you tried to divert the conversation again and shot the footballer a look but all he could do was focus on the lack of space between the two of you.

your body was pressed up against his, so he took the liberty of snaking his arms around your waist and to his surprise you didn't mind. you were barely focused on him at all, which wasn't ideal but he loved the proximity.

then you heard a voice in the background of clara's and you couldn't help yourself. “that's him isn't it? don't lie to me clara, put me on speaker right now.”

after a bit of reluctance she obliged and you did the same, earning a smile of victory from trent who was listening intently until the sound of the familiar male voice.

“hi mason, it's jamie,” you greeted in your nicest voice possible, fighting back the laugh in your throat because of trent's look of disbelief and confusion.

“jude's friend jamie?” he asked clara and she nodded, causing him to smile. “yeah, I remember we met a while ago during the world cup. how are you?”

you pursed your lips at his question. you couldn't be mad at him like this, he was being too nice. “I'm doing great. I should be asking you since you're going to be a father.”

“clara’s pregnant?!”

you slapped trent on the chest but he couldn't stay quiet any longer. your friend om the other hand was more than upset.

“you said that trent wasn't there,” she argued but you were just as fed up and argued back with a scoff.

“yeah and you told me that you had family coming over.”

it was mason's turn to speak during the unfortunate encounter. he was so oblivious to what was going on, and you could hear the excitement in his voice when he realised that trent was there, seeing as they were friends and called out to him just to check.

you gave trent a look, gesturing for him to answer. he cleared his throat and said hi. “hi mate, it's been a while. how are you holding up?”

the conversation didn't last too long and after a mutual agreement clara ended the call. you looked at your screen with a groan, this was not what you had expected at all. absentmindedly, you rested your head on trent's chest, trying to process what had just happened.

it came as such a shock to you, and by trent’s confused rambling he was having a hard time comprehending it too.

“so clara is getting married and she's pregnant,” he repeated to make sense of all the information. “and it's mason mount, who's also the father and they've been together for 4 years and nobody knew at all.”

the only question you had at the moment was why everyone was either getting married or pregnant. what happened to taking it slow? them again you had no right to speak seeing as you weren't even sure if you were ever going to make it that far.

“what are you doing here by the way?” you llifted your head to look up at trent, who merely shrugged. it only dawned on you then that his hands were resting on your waist which caused you tense up.

the pit in your stomach grew and you tried your best to seem as casual as possible. he must've noticed because he was eager to break the silent tension and told you about his physio assessment as he limped over to the couch. the lack of warmth on your wasit was harsh, almost foreign even though it wasn't something that's happened between the two of you before this.

the past two weeks had been a blur regarding your relationship. it was more than obvious by now that there was something going on, but neither of you addressed the topic. a few days ago you called maya to ask her for advice and she said that he was probably waiting for the right time.

which made sense. things always seemed to get messy whenever the two of you got closer, for example, skylar showing up, the recent speculation of him having a girlfriend (who wasn't you), and now his injury. only this time, you weren't planning on backing away and were prepared to stay until it was clear that you had no chance with him.

the rest of the month flew by without any further issues. the team was performing well, trent's recovery was going great and you officially met mason and absolutely melted at him and clara's relationship.

you joined them at clara's house not too long after the call you had with her, and needless to say, you were extremely happy for her. there wasn't a couple that you've met that smiled at each other more than they did. you could practically feel the love and adoration floating through the air when you were around them.

then something else shifted.

you knew something was up when a meeting was called after work hours that friday. but you couldn't think of any issue so you went in with little care, ans sat down at the table beside clara as per usual. it was when you scanned the room that you realised it was just the media team in the room and not the coaching staff as well.

just as you were about to bring it up with clara, jurgen walked into the room with a lopsided smile. he shut the door behind him carefully and took his spot in front, preferring to stand instead of taking a seat.

“good afternoon everyone, I'm sorry for keeping you all after hours but I just finished talking to the boys,” he apologised which had you questioning.

he continued on but it took him a while to get to the point, but eventually he made eye contact with you and smiled but it was somber. the usual excitement wasny present in his eyes, so you sat up in your chair and waited.

“I will be retiring as the team's manager at the end of the season.”

you wanted to throw up, hoping that this was just some sick joke for april fools but the issue was that it wasn't april. the room broke out into mummers and questions for jurgen who looked as if he wasn't taking the news well himself.

he tried to keep it as short as possible, and proposed the idea of content being pushed out as well as a formal announcement video by the end of the month– which was in five days.

the meeting ended after 20 minutes of discussion and more apologies for the late and abrupt news. of course everyone was devastated, and you were literally fighting back tears. then it hit you that the team just got told as well, and all that sadness tripled and hit you like a truck.

there was still three months left of the season, and this could either motivate the boys or ruin everything.

to your surprise jurgen asked you to stay behind for a moment. when the media team finally left, it was just you and your broken heart.

“you know I didn't even feel this broken when I broke up with my ex boyfriend,” you said and shut your eyes to force back the tears daring to escape.

a hearty chuckle echoed through the room and he came to sit next to you. it was silent for a moment again, to give you some time to process the news. “do you know why I make sure that you're so involved with the team?”

you looked at jurgen with furrowed brows at the question, not quite catching on. you agreed that there was a drastic difference between other clubs and their media managers, as opposed to you who showed up to all the matches, travelled with them, stayed during training and got the opportunity to form an actual bond with them.

“because I knew that when I leave, I'll need someone to be a sort of pillar for them.” he hummed and tried to find the correct way to put what he was saying into words. “a new coaching staff will be hired, people who the boys have been with for most of their careers will be gone but I want them to have a familiar face.”

you nodded in understanding. it was difficult for people to leave most of what they know behind and start fresh and grow comfortable with their surroundings so you could account for his reasoning. that didn't mean that any of this would be easier for them though.

“I just need them to feel at home, and you've been doing that exceptionally well from the moment you started working here,” jurgen said and laughed, recalling the early morning that you joined them at the training center.

there was a curious but nervous look in your eyes that day, and just by looking at you then he knew that you'd be a vital part of the team for as long as they stood. and now more than ever, was your role as detrimental as ever and you were determined to make jurgen's departure one that he'll remember.

that evening when you got back to your apartment, you weren't surprised to see your phone blow up with messages from the group chat.

[melanieph321]

If you are still taking requests, could I ask for a Ruben angst to fluff where his daughter is like under 1 years old, but is at Nursery and comes down with a fever. They can’t get through to reader, so the nursery have to phone Ruben instead and he worries about his daughter and also why his wife hasn’t been contactable?! Hope this all makes sense 😅 thank you xx

Ugh, I loved writing this. 😭 Thank you for the request. I changed it up a bit so that the child is old enough to talk.

Ruben Dias x Reader - Daddy of The Day

Enjoy!

"Hello, Mr Dias?"

"Yes that's me. Who's this?"

Ruben thought another journalist had gotten a hold of his phone number again, but it turned out to be the principal of his daughter's day care.

"Why would you need me to come and pick her up?"

Ruben was confused, it was barley lunchtime. He had just gotten out of his physio appointment at the teams training center.

"I'm sorry to bother you Mr Dias but it would be better for your daughter to go home as soon as possible."

"Why?" His heart jumped.

"She has a very high fever and complaining of pain in the rectum. We're guessing the flu."

Ruben nodded. The flu was bad. "I'll call my wife, she's usually the one to handle these things."

"I'm afraid we've tried reaching your wife Mr Dias, several times."

"She's not answering?"

"We've called your nanny and your wifes listed emergency contact, her mother. You're the first person I could get a hold of Mr Dias."

Ruben took a minute to collect his thoughts. It was clear what he had to do. "All right, I'll be there in thirty minutes."

"Again, sorry to bother you Mr Dias. Your wife has informed us not to call this number unless..."

"It's an emergency." He nodded. "Don't worry, I'll be there."

After speaking to his coach and his team, Ruben left Manchester City's training ground. He could imagine the headlines in the tabloids tomorrow, "Ruben Dias out of the squad?". He couldn't care less though. This was a family emergency and to him family always comes first.

"Y/N, please call me as soon as you get this. I'm on my way to the day care now." Ruben left you a third message as he drove to the day care center. He was starting to worry that somthing might have happened to you because this wasn't normal for you not to answer his calls, even during working hours.

"Daddy my tummy." Your daughter groand. Ruben had picked hebrup from the day care and was now rushing through traffic to take her to the hospital. She was too weak to walk so Ruben carried her in his arms to the ER front desk.

"We'll run some blood tests and see what we can do." Said a nurse after Ruben and your daughter was taken into a separate room.

"Daddy what will the doctors do?" She asked. They had her lie in a hospital bed but she quickly became anxious being detached form Ruben. He settled with holding her in his lap as he sat on the edge of the bed.

"They're just going to run some tests baby, draw some blood from your arm.

"Blood?" Your daughter gasped. Then her lip began to tremble. "I want mommy."

"Trust me I want mommy too."

Ruben checked his phone. There was no messages from you. Where could you possibly be?

"Daddy I want mommy!"

It didn't take long for your daughter to be in a sea of tears. Ruben rocking her back and forth was to no use. He felt so hopless without you by his side.

"Okay look." Ruben said, in a tone that startled your daughter. He only ever used this tone with his teammates during half time in a tough game. "Daddy wants mommy too. He really really does. But mommy isn't here right now, it's just you and me. But you and me are also strong. Not as strong as mommy, but mommy has taught us well, hasn't she?"

Your daughter wiped her tears and gave a slight nod.

"Good. Now when the doctor comes in to runs some test, we will show them how strong we are, together."

"Okay."

"That's my girl."

The doctors ran many tests on your daughter and by the time you left your final  meeting at work you realized that your phone had no battery and needed to be charged. Your heart jumped seeing dozens of missed calls from Ruben, the day care and your mother.

"Where is she?"

You made your way to the hospital as fast as you could. Your mother was there to meet you at the entrance.

"She's resting. The doctors ran many test."

"And...?" You were walking with rushed steps down the hospital hallways, thinking that the worst things has happened to your daughter.

"They say she might be allergic to gluten."

You altered your steps. "Allergic to what?"

"Gluten. That would explain her stomach aches."

"Where's Ruben?"

You arrived in front of a hospital room. You're mother gestured towards the door. "In there. I think they're asleep."

It was a peaceful sight, Ruben and your daughter laying on the hospital bed hugging each other.

"Ruben?" You felt slightly guilty to shrugg him awake.

"Y/N?" His eyes flung open at the sight of you. "Y/N, where have you been are you okay?"

"Am I okay? You're the one in a hospital bed with our daughter."

"Right." Ruben looked back to where she was sleeping. "Turns out she's gluten."

You sighed in relief, everyone seemed to be okay.

"I tried calling you and the school tired calling you."

"I know baby and I'm sorry. My phone died during one of our meeting runs and I forgot my charger at home."

"Well after this I'm buying you a box full of charges." Ruben stretched his arms above his head and yawned. He looked so exhausted, you thought.

"I'm sorry you had to leave training to pick her up." You muttered. "It should have been me."

Ruben shook his head and railed you on with his hands on your waist. "We're in this together, you and me."

"And her." You smiled. Your daughter stirred, slowly coming to.

"Mommy?"

"Yes, baby, I'm here." You caressed her cheek as Ruben helped bring her to sit up. Her arms were covered with smiley stickers and a big bandage where blood had been drawn from her arm.

"Mommy,  I'm gluten." She said.

"So I've heard." You chuckled.

"Daddy says I'm strong no matter what. Just like you."

You looked to Ruben who blushed. You ran a hand through his hair. "Well Daddy is strong too. Especially today when Mommy couldn't be there for you."

"Will you be there for me next time?" Your daughter asked,  tossing and turning in Ruben's lap.

"Of course I will and Daddy too. We will be there for you together, always."

[player1064]

Drabble requests! Just an idea here. Did you see when Garnacho spontaneously stopped to help his opponent (van den ven i think) with a leg cramp? Maybe a carraville version of this from playing days? Either as opponents or teammates on Nation team....Idon't, could be fun! Cheers!!

oooh, love this idea!! Also I watched the video and am SO obsessed w how slowly Garnacho walks up to Van den Ven like he does NOT look happy that he's the one who's going to help him and yet. he's the one CHOOSING to help him. what even is football....

---

It takes a second for anyone to realise that Jamie’s down, and when someone does it’s just his luck that it’s Gary fucking Neville, who’s sauntering up to him as if he has all the time in the world.

When he gets close, Jamie’s expecting him to start taking the piss, so he startles a bit when he feels cold hands wrap around his ankle and start to tug his leg up.

“Come on, then,” he huffs, looking at Jamie like he’s the one that’s suddenly lost his mind.

Maybe he is, because he finds himself obligingly leaning backwards so that Neville can push his leg into the stretch, can’t help but groan at the instant relief of it.

He closes his eyes for a second, and when he opens him again he sees that some of his teammates have finally dropped back to check on him, that a physio is on his way over. Stevie’s there, because of course he is, and he holds out his hands ready to take hold of Jamie’s ankle.

Jamie’s definitely lost his mind, because he’s pretty sure he sees Neville shoulder Stevie away.

“What was’at about hatin’ Scousers?” Jamie teases, getting his leg pushed further back for his troubles, his hamstring screaming out in pain.

Neville isn’t looking at him, he’s staring at a spot on the floor. “Shut your ugly mouth, Carragher, else I’ll change my mind about helpin’ you.”

Stevie seems to have accepted his fate a lot easier than Jamie can, because he ignores Neville and his program of torture and crouches down to Jamie’s level. “Can you keep playin’, d’you think?”

“Din’t he play wit’ collapsed lung, last season?” he hears Neville drone, “wouldn’t trust him to make that call, me.”

Stevie, wisely, keeps ignoring him, cocking his head to one side as he waits for Jamie’s response.

Jamie pauses, tries to focus in on the feeling in his leg. His hamstring’s still burning, but it doesn’t have that tight ‘rubber band about to snap’ feeling anymore, so he nods and takes Stevie’s hands to jump back up.

The referee waits for Jamie’s nod before blowing the whistle to restart play, and Jamie shakes out his leg and jogs a little to try get it moving right again.

Neville’s still there, watching him with a frown. Ugh.

“Thanks for that,” Jamie reluctantly says with a nod.

Just for a second, the corner of Neville’s mouth twitches upwards before he schools his expression back into his usual scowl. “See you at England camp, then,” he says, then he turns away and jogs back down the pitch.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi Steph, how are you? I hope it's the most comfortable season in your area right now? I had covid in the summer and unfortunately I'm still getting weaker and weaker, so I was wondering if you could recommend some exercises you enjoy? Like YouTube channels or just the names of the exercises would be greatly appreciated. Sending hugs.

Hey Nonny *HUGS*

Yes, we're finally entering the best part of autumn, where the weather is beautiful sweater weather during the day and the evenings are cool. It won't last long, sadly, because we get early wet winters so it will get really cold all the time and just... rain until December, ugh.

Ugh, I feel you about feeling weak after Covid. It took me awhile to get back to my "normal", which is going back to the gym daily and waking up at decent times and sleeping through the night. Took awhile for that.

Oh gosh, okay regarding the fitness thing, I'm trying hard to think back to a couple years ago; I had to get a nutritionist because I had a health scare (I fainted while sitting down and doing nothing) and he wanted me to get back into a routine. Let me tell you, it's SO hard, but his words of encouragement helped SO MUCH MORE than any of those """"fitness influencers"""" and personal trainers (ie. professional torturers lol) ever did because he NEVER expected more than I was comfortable with. He always said "YOU have to want to change, I'm just here to help you on that path".

Currently, I go to the gym pretty much every day for at least an hour and mostly weight lifting. It took nearly a year and a half to get back to that level of fitness for me. Pre-Covid I was doing even more to the point of obsession. Both my nutritionist and my therapist help me with coping mechanisms to ensure that that doesn't happen again. When I was first getting back into exercising, we focussed on the one exercise I LOVED doing: walking. He always said "10 minutes of walking a day is better than not doing it at all." It always started small, and walking was the thing that got me back to exercising. And, little by little 10 became 20 became 30 became an hour, and then going back to the gym was less daunting. My work has a gym which my brain deemed as "safe" in my post-covid anxiety, so I started going back via my work gym. Again, I have previous fitness experience so I started off on machines and then back into my old routines with free weights.

But yeah, definitely some walking or even just some stretching or yoga moves (my nutritionist actually tried to get me to start working out by stretching and meditating, but I don't really like doing either of those). My nutritionist, while he did want me to work towards a healthier lifestyle, never EVER pushed me to do more than I was ready for. So this is my advice to you, Lovely: what kind of exercise do you LIKE doing? Walking? Push ups? Squats? There are simple exercises that people use for physio, seniors, and limited mobility individuals. Getting up and sitting down, wall presses, light lunges, even stretches are great for working towards a more active lifestyle. Heck, even "doing weights" by lifting a full water bottle is an exercise! Mine was walking. Perhaps yours is leg lifts or shoulder rolls. Even just a little activity is GOOD!! This article here is a good place to start if you're limited mobility, and here's a good article for beginners.

Also, search on YouTube for "Workouts for Beginners"; there's quite a few workouts there, hopefully without too many ad-breaks to ruin the flow of the workouts. My favourite workouts, though are Les Mills Body Combat and Body Pump, which are both more advanced once you're into a rhythm. I used to do the classes at GoodLife before Covid, and now my CURRENT routine incorporates moves I learned in both of those (I'm still skittish about being in group settings so I kind of just do them on my own). I'm very proud of myself for how far I've come in a year and a half, when I genuinely thought I would never do it again. I could barely walk because of foot and joint pains, I was always dizzy and I was very lethargic all the time. Changing my diet helped a lot too; my nutritionist recommended a lot more protein to keep me fuller longer, and 3 meals a day with small snacks. Never have a deficit!! He doesn't believe in dieting, just "eating right". AND he doesn't make me weigh myself which helped me overcome my disordered eating triggers. He's a great nutritionist.

It can be done Nonny! Just start small, and stick to a schedule. For me I find it easier to do it during the week during my lunch break at work makes it feel like it's NOT eating into my free time, and on weekends and days off I go first thing in the morning to the gym because it's quieter. So, a routine helps for sure! I think you can do it too!!!!

Let me know if I can help you out with tips that have helped me that I haven't listed here. And, if anyone has something to help Nonny get back into a routine that has maybe helped y'all after Covid, please do offer your support! <3

ALSO as an aside, Nonny, it's recommended you start SMALL after Covid to allow your body to properly heal, so DON'T PUSH YOURSELF nor feel bad if you're slow. Every Body is different! <3

Good luck Nonny!!!

[headpainmigraine]

Doing the Dysautonomia Awareness Challenge thing because I want to.

1. The type of dysautonomia you have

Pandysautonomia

2. Your diagnosis story

I noticed that I was getting lightheaded after standing for too long, and then I started feeling like I was going to faint. It was annoying but not awful, and I have my plate full with chronic migraine, so it got put on the back burner like every other issue I have that I should be dealing with but don't have the energy for.

And then I was so bad on the way to a family holiday in Malta that I needed a wheelchair to get through airport security. And then I had a fainting spell in the middle of a shop in Malta (luckily, sat down before I could fully pass out)

No idea what was going on, still having migraines, so ignored it. Brought it up with my neuro, 'hey, I've also been getting these dizzy spells?'

My current neuro, the fourth one I spoke to, is fantastic. They referred me over to every clinic imaginable because they suspected POTS, but also referred me to an ENT clinic, just in case.

ENT diagnosed me with vestibular migraine, and Persistent Postural-Perceptual Dizziness (PPPD) and gave me physio before discharging me.

Rheumatologist ruled out EDS and diagnosed fibro (the most tentative lacklustre diagnosis I've ever had)

The neurocardiologist really nailed it down though. I was supposed to have a TTT, but they did an active stand instead, and it wasn't clearly POTS, so that killed me.

THEN I had a battery of other tests (exercise test, ambulatory blood pressure, CT scan, heart scan, something else I can't remember) and my neurocardio confirmed pandysautonomia and POTS.

I challenged the diagnosis, because the active stand results had fucked with my head, and she reassured me that no, I definitely have ISSUES. The TTT is just one diagnostic tool, and the results of my other tests, plus my medical history, confirmed the diagnosis.

I also had a non-dipper profile for my BP, which is a little concerning, but I was having a 9-migraine at the time and didn't really sleep.

I'm still waiting for a gastro appointment, and to drill a little deeper on this pandysautonomia thing, but I feel like I had a pretty easy diagnosis journey comparatively (comparative to other people's journeys and my migraine journey)

My POTS is atypical because I have high blood pressure, not low - anyone else with the combination, hmu, I'd love to hear from you. It sucks having an atypical diagnosis in a 'common' illness.

3. How long it took you to get diagnosed

2-3 years, pretty quick

.

4. Your most bothersome symptom

The fucking TREMORS!

I can handle the fainting pretty well, I get the dizziness, it sucks that I can't get up and do things but I was dealing with that before the pandysautonomia got bad because of my constant refractive chronic migraines.

I went from being inactive to being inactive for more reasons, so there wasn't much difference re: impact in my life

but the TREMORS.

I can't handle them! I can't feed myself properly without weighted utensils, and even then I have to take frequent breaks while I eat because the constant shaking is tiring. It gets in the way of my typing, it makes it hard to do anything that needs even a modicum of steadiness, catching crickets for my tarantulas takes 10x longer and feels bad.

And that's just the ones in my hands! The ones in my legs make me feel like I'm wobbling about like an Ed, Edd and Eddy character. The constant shaking through my skeleton is so uncomfortable and irritating. I just sit there and shake and can't paint or draw or felt or anything. UGH.

end bitching.

[lu-undy]

Sniper is a lone man, talks very little even asa kid. When we gets hurt he doesn't say anything, he doesnt whine, he doesn't want to be a bother. But his back hurts a lot. Sniper (tries to) ignores the pain as always, but Spy notices. And he tries to convince Sniper to let him give him a massage because the pain is affecting his job. So yeah, just a massage, a professional one. But Spy's hands touch just the right places, and the ambience is amazing, and maybe that massage has a happy ending❤️🐑

Funny you mention that! I have already written it in one of my fics ^^ But here is something completely different from what I already wrote in the past, I hope you’ll enjoy it! :D

The tall man grumbled. 

He wished the windowsills were higher so that he didn't have to spend his day slouched that way. He sometimes would sit on a wooden crate but that would end up giving him a sore bottom. Everyday, for every battle, the choice was there: sore bottom or back pain?

That day, he had gone for back pain with a side of slight headache, the former causing the latter. 

Sniper took his shots, his jaw clenching and his shoulder contracting more than was necessary to compensate for the pain in his back. He reloaded and shot again. The cycles of reloads and shots spiralling for the entire duration of the match, along with his pain growing and his posture degrading.

After the battles, he went back to spawn and put his rifle in his locker. It needed a good clean but he just wanted a hot shower and a nap, or maybe just lying down for a while. He put his hand on his shoulder and tried massaging himself but of course, it was to no avail. A massage only works if one is completely resting while someone else did the job. 

Had he been back home, he would have asked his mother. But she was thousands of miles away and he knew that calling her wouldn't help. 

Sniper walked back through the base.

Nah, it wouldn't help. She would worry from far away and he didn't want to be a bother for anyone and especially not his dear mother. What about his father then? Nah, he would get told off for sure. 

"Told ya, gunman's no proper job, son. And you'll get hurt."

"Dad, it's only back pain…" 

"Does it hurt or not? It does! And is it because of shootin'? Yeah it is! So the point stands." 

He opened his van's door and shook his head as if to shake away his father's voice that echoed in the walls of his mind. This entire discussion had rolled in his head as if he had it for real. 

Sniper threw his hat and sleeveless jacket away before sinking on his couch. Oh it was an old, worn out thing that couldn't possibly be less comfortable. He wouldn't usually mind but he twisted his back left and right, trying to find a position that would hurt him the least. 

"Bugger…" 

He unbuttoned his polo shirt and slid a hand behind his back. It hurt… The pain growing stronger and weaker under the waves of his hand.

Knock, knock. 

He raised his eyes to the door. Sniper hadn't heard anyone come to the door, which immediately gave away the identity of his visitor. He rose from the couch and, his hand still behind his back, he opened the door. 

"Hey, Spy, what d'you want?" He asked. 

The Australian watched as his colleague's face went from his usual suave smile to something else, something between distress and rage.

"Bonjour first maybe? And I'm sorry to interrupt, I shall come back later." The French accent was strong, not too much, but thicker than usual.

"What do you think you're interruptin'?" Sniper asked, confused.

"Well, look at you! Your shirt is open, your hair is completely disorganised, you are not even wearing your hat or your glasses!" 

The tone of the Frenchman's voice had grown louder and louder as he spoke. By the end of his sentence, he sounded irritated. Sniper's eyes snapped wide. Why was Spy being so pissed off?

"W-wait, what?!"

The Frenchman sighed and lowered his head. 

"Nevermind, Sniper, nevermind. Forget it. Forget… me."

He turned on his heels and walked away, shoving his hands in his pockets angrily.

"Spy, wait!" 

The Frenchman turned to face him.

"Non, Sniper. I'm going back to my room. See you, maybe."

"Ugh, bugger…" 

As if his day wasn't bad enough, he had to give the wrong impression and piss off his only friend… Sniper grumbled and fell deep in thoughts. 

Need to apologise and tell him… 

The Australian went to the Frenchman's room and knocked. 

There was a moment before Spy opened.

"And you have the nerve to come to my door?" Spy asked.

"Spook, there was no one with me, I was alone! Can I come in and explain now, please!?" 

Spy lowered his head and opened his door wider, as if to invite Sniper in. He entered and the Frenchman shut the door after him.

"What the-?! You're the one expectin' someone!" Sniper exclaimed his arms extended towards the unusual object standing in the room. 

Spy had all the lights off apart from the flames of the fireplace and… some candles? Sniper looked around him. The Frenchman had put candles here and there and there was a gentle smell in the air… It smelled like a forest, fresh trees and leaves. But the most bizarre thing was the physiotherapy table there in the middle of it all.

"Indeed I was expecting someone. And he arrived." Spy answered, very calmly, with a smile.

"Well, as someone said, if I'm botherin' ya in the middle of somethin', I might as well leave…"

"Non." 

Spy stood between the Australian and the door. 

"You imbécile, I was waiting for you." 

"What?!" Sniper was utterly confused. "What the bloody hell's all this?!" 

"It's to relieve you. I do believe your back is killing you."

"How did-mh!?" Spy had put his index finger on his colleague's lips. 

"Had I gone to your van and just asked you to come, you would have said you were too tired and you would have refused. So I had to think of another way to make you come out of your den of a camper van." Spy explained with a smirk and Sniper's eyebrows shot up. 

"Now, don't make me get angry for real this time and go to my bathroom. You'll find a pair of shorts that I might have borrowed from your van. Put them on and come back here, lie down on the table."

Spy released his finger on his friend's lips and nodded his head towards his bathroom. Sniper thought he was hallucinating or dreaming. What the bloody hell was all that?!

He did obey though, in a brain-dead way. He went to the Frenchman's bathroom and found his old pair of grey short on the edge of the sink. He closed the door and slipped them on. When he came back, the Frenchman was waiting. He had removed his jacket and vest, his tie had gone too and he had opened the first few buttons of his shirt as well as rolled up his sleeves. 

Sniper looked at the physio bed and back at his colleague. Spy's eyes were riveted on the bed. He had noticed how prude his friend was and how he wrapped his arms around himself and hunched his back, as if it hid his bare chest and back. 

"Where did you ever find this…?" 

"I borrowed it from Medic."

"You nicked it from Medic?" 

"I intend to give it back. So it's a loan that he might not be completely aware of. Now, please, lay down." 

"Roight…" 

Sniper had gone too far to refuse. He lied on his stomach. 

"Bien, put your arms along your chest, that's it, very good. Now, my hands are a bit cold but they will warm up, bear with me for a while."

"Alroight…"

"Shush, you close your eyes and don't think about anything." 

"Spy?" 

"What did I just say, Bushman?"

"Can you lock yer door though…?" 

Spy sighed with a smile. 

"Fine." The Frenchman moved to the door and locked it. He came back and removed his socks. 

"Why the hell…?"

"And to think that you are the least sociable of us. Now you never stop talking…" Spy said. "But to answer you, I cannot proceed if my feet are not in contact with the ground." 

Sniper heard the noise of some liquid being squeezed between Spy's hands and then he felt them on his back. 

"When you massage someone, you are not just running your hands on someone's body. You are in a way taking the tension from that person, onto you, in your palms and your fingers. But all this strain, you have to throw it somewhere. I do believe it circulates through my body and I'm giving it away to the ground through my feet and the wooden floor." 

Spy's voice was soothing Sniper. 

"Also, I do hope you like the smell. I didn't have kangaroo and desert scented candles, but I thought that fresh forest would do."

"Spy… Your hands…" 

"They're getting warmer now with the friction." 

"No… They're… bloody… good…" 

Spy smiled. 

"Let me know where it hurts."

"Top, go all the way up."

Spy slid his hands left and right from his friend's spine, his feet anchored in the floor and his eyes closed. 

"Shoulder blades… please… and shoulders…"

"Fine." 

Spy took more oil in his hands and went for it. The Australian grunted and moaned under the Frenchman's efficient hands. He felt like some dough being rolled and kneaded. He had no idea Spy could be that skilled with his hands. Sniper was waving and rolling in his mind, his eyes closed, the smell of the candles and of the oil gently washing him from the inside. 

And it lasted a long time, in silence. Spy thought that after the racket of the battlefield, the solitary hunter that Sniper was would appreciate some peace and quiet.

"Spy…?"

"Hm?" 

"Talk…"

"What do you want me to say?" 

"Any… Thing… Just… Talk…" 

Spy's smile widened. His friend sounded so different. 

"Well, I can start by asking you if you don't mind turning on your back."

"Five… More… Minutes…"

Had Spy not been used to keeping his emotions for himself, he would have chuckled at least. 

"Fine." 

His hands traced circles and loops, his palms pressed, his fingers following closely. 

"Oooh… Spy… How…?" 

"Sshh… Just enjoy." He whispered. 

He kneaded his back slowly, paying attention to not neglect a single muscle. All of them were massaged and accounted for. Spy bent to Sniper's ear:

"I want to see your face now, mon beau." 

Sniper's eyes snapped open. He turned on his back and saw Spy upside down, bending above his head and smiling. 

"What's that mean?" The Australian asked. 

"What?" Spy put a bit of oil in the middle of his palm and rubbed his hands together. He put his hands on his friend's collarbones and massaged down. 

"Mon beau?" Sniper repeated with a twisted accent. 

As Spy pushed his hand down Sniper's chest, his back slowly bent down until his mouth ended up next to the Australian's ear. He whispered:

"Literally, my handsome one." 

Sniper's eyes popped wide open and his heart accelerated. His friend's hands on his naked chest didn't help and the Australian turned red as a brick. 

"Breathe slowly, I can feel your heart pounding." 

Spy's hands were working wonders on Sniper's chest and stomach, such that his entire body had no choice but to indeed relax. 

When the Frenchman finished with the torso, his fingers moved to the Australian's face. Sniper looked at him, still seeing him upside down, with questioning eyes. 

"Close your eyes." Spy whispered. 

"I-I can't." 

Their faces were a few inches apart. 

"Yes, you can, just trust me." 

Sniper took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He felt Spy's fingers on his chin, his cheeks, below his eyes, his temples and his brow. He repeated the motion for entire minutes without tiring, sometimes spending more time on Sniper's cheeks, next to his both hideous and attractive sideburns… 

Spy moved around the table and slowed the movements down. Sniper felt that something was going on. He opened his eyes. The Frenchman's face was above the Australian's. Their eyes locked. 

Sniper saw Spy's eyes. They were half-closed and blinked very slowly, the long dark eyelashes brushing the air like the wings of a butterfly. 

"Thank you." Sniper whispered. He didn't want to break the silence too hard. 

"It is my pleasure…" Spy brushed his friend's cheek down and stopped next to his mouth. 

"You're the weirdest bloke I've ever met. Stealin' this bed, puttin' on a show with the candles, the smell, and the comedy you played back at my van…"

"Qu'est-ce je ne ferais pas par amour?" 

[What wouldn't I do out of love?]

"What's that mean?" 

Spy ignored Sniper's question and his fingertips moved closer to his lips. The Australian smiled and lifted his hand to put it on top of the Frenchman's. 

"I'm sorry I can't say it in French but uh…"

"If you can't say it, make me understand it… Show me…"

Sniper's fingers laced between his friend's and his heart beat fast. He put his other hand behind the Frenchman's neck and pulled him in closer.

The Frenchman rolled his eyes up when Sniper's lips touched his. All he had wanted was to help the poor man who was too shy to ask for anything. But now the Australian was saying thanks, and maybe something else…?

[cautious-creation]

Steve plays guitar and only Bucky knows

Fandom & Character: Marvel (MCU); Captain America/Steve Rogers (Chris Evans), Winter Soldier/Bucky Barnes (Sebastian Stan), Black Widow/Natasha Romanoff (Scarlett Johansson), Hawkeye/Clint Barton (Jeremy Renner)

Pairing(s): (suggested) Captain America/Steve Rogers (Chris Evans) x 1st person reader; Clintasha (non-romantic)

Word/page count: 1200+ words

CW/TW: none I noticed

Summary: Reader hears Steve playing guitar and offers to be his vocalist ft. an Ed Sheeran song.

Author’s note: This is based on an imagine / headcanon type thing I’ve lost in the internet over time. I wrote this when I was in grade...9?...ish. I mention it because I don’t like it much in hindsight.

It'd been yet another day of intense training. Natasha and Clint were in charge of planning and coaching the torturous activities for me. Target practice, boxing, sparring and flexibility training were included in my morning 'workout'. I walked through the tower, past the living quarters of the avengers, who I looked up to and aspired to be like. As I turned a corner, I almost bumped into an, unusually cheerful, James Barnes.

"Hey." He acknowledged.

"Hi" I gave him a tired smile.

"How's the training going?" He must be in a pretty good mood, he usually doesn't seek conversation, specifically with me.

"I know I shouldn't complain about having such an awesome opportunity, I mean; I'm training, and living with the Avengers, but Lord knows this is draining me." I stretched my back sideways, I was sure to be hella stiff the next day. James chuckled. Okay, he's probably the happiest he's been since he returned from that mission where they destroyed a HYDRA based he'd been trained in. I'd have to bring it up with Steve.

"I assume you're referring to training with a couple ex-assassins." He smirked.

"I swear, Clintasha are going to kill me in the gym downstairs before I see my first mission with either S.H.I.E.L.D or you guys."

"Clintasha?" He looked at me quizzically. Had I said that aloud?

"Ugh, Hawkeye and Black Widow. Please don't tell them about that nickname. I find it easier to refer to them like that considering they're pretty much always together." He smiled.

"Sure, I'd prefer to postpone your apparent inevitable doom. You make good food." He walked off chuckling and shaking his head then saying ‘Clintasha’ and laughing louder.

I continued my journey to the destination shower when I heard a familiar set of chords being played on an acoustic guitar. It definitely wasn't the original song, or any other recorded version of it for that matter, based on the pauses between strums and small mistakes that appeared occasionally.

G, C, G, G, C and C. The appropriate rests were in between each strum which were each their specific length to play the fun, quick paced song that Ed Sheeran gave to the world. It was being played slowly, as if the musician was unfamiliar with the song.

A couple of repetitions of the first verse later and the soft hum of the melody could be heard as the guitarist added sound to where the lyrics would be sung. I quietly sang the lyrics as I neared the source of the music.

"It's late in the evening, glass on the side, I've been sat with you for most of the night." I reached the closed door separating the world from the beautiful sound resonating from inside the room.

"I need you darling, come on set the tone, if you feel you're falling won't you let me know."

I took the chance and knocked on the door to the room of one of the Avengers, I was about to find out who.

The song stopped, I could hear some shuffling, then footsteps on the wooden floor approaching the door.

It opened to a slightly flustered Steve Rogers, probably a bit embarrassed by the possibility of him being caught playing an Ed Sheeran song.

"Oh, I was expecting...never mind. How can I help you?" He rubbed the back of his neck.

"Actually, I was wondering if I could help you, sir." I suddenly became incredibly shy, fiddling with my fingers and lowering my head in the presence of the beautiful piece of man in front of me. My role model and superior.

"I believe you may want a vocalist? Quality playing deserves to have a melody accompany it, don't you think?" I was certain to be blushing by now.

"You sing?" He smiled. I nodded.

"I took lessons before I got involved with S.H.I.E.L.D, participated in a few national competitions actually, I was asked to be the lead vocalist when my friend started a band too. I'd be glad to practice with you if you'll take me." I shrugged.

"You know, I'd really appreciate the help." He started heading back into his room before turning back to me.

"On one condition." His face was stern.

"Name it." I smiled.

"No one finds out. Neither of us would ever be able to live it down if anyone finds out, especially Tony." He picked up a classic wooden acoustic guitar.

"I assume we won't be performing for anyone then." I smirked.

"Absolutely not." He chuckled.

----------

We'd gone through the song about five times when the door flew open revealing an otherwise occupied James Barnes.

"There's this song I thought you'd....oh." He looked up to see Steve holding his guitar and me holding a Stark-Pad for the both of us to see.

"I see you finally took my advice, Stevie." He smirked placing his hand on his hip almost sassily.

"No one finds out, huh?" I quipped, surprised.

"Only Bucky knows." He shrugged questioning whether or not I'd accept that as a reasonable excuse.

"Okay." I shrugged.

"What advice?" I asked James.

"To get someone to teach him how to really play."

"Really?  You think I know how to play guitar, actually, more importantly: you think Captain Rogers needs a teacher." I was baffled, he got that song down in under ten repetitions.

"Omg, please don't call me that. It makes me feel old." I laughed. They looked at each other confused, which only made me laugh harder.

"Really?" I managed to stop laughing.

"Modern acronyms don't suit you, first off; and secondly, it makes you feel old? Seriously?" I looked between the 90 something year olds, the one desperately trying to stifle his laughter while waiting for the other to understand.

"Oh, you mean because I am old." James sighed and covered his face with his hands. I just smiled and shook my head.

"This is why you fail so miserably at communicating with Tony, buddy." Bucky walked off chuckling and muttering ‘old man’ to himself.

"From the top?" I asked, walking back to where the lyrics were being displayed from the tablet at the foot of Steve's bed.

"Miss Y/L/N? I believe you are due for another round of training." J.A.R.V.I.S.' voice sounded, causing me to groan.

"Can you let Miss Romanoff and Mr Barton that I'll be down once I've returned from the physio therapist, chiropractor and spa. Just make sure they know that was sarcasm."

"Last thing I need is for a couple of ex assassins to have reason to torture me further than what they already do." I muttered.

"I could train you if you'd like. I have a feeling we'll work better when it comes to communication and knowing physical limits. You do need to be able to walk tomorrow." Steve suggested.

"That's allowed?" I asked hopefully. He nodded.

"Oh please! Please, please, please!" I begged. I grabbed onto his shirt, genuinely desperate.

"Okay, if you're done being weirdly affectionate with our boss, I believe we have some training to get done." Clint smirked as he entered the doorway.

I dropped my head awkwardly, stood up slowly and smiled through my intense blush, hoping that my expression was as innocent as I needed it to be.

"um...I'll just...head down so long. I'll see you there." I started walking.

"Preferably the hottest of you three." I muttered, looking back to see Steve discussing (intensely) with Clintasha.

[writingsbychlo]

can I just:

rugby player cassian. cheer leader reader. he’s the captain of the team and she’s the captain of the squad. everyone thinks they’d be so perfect together, they’re constantly in the news and on the front of magazines for it. but they’re rivals. have been since college when they were always competing academically for top of the class too. competing for best sportsman. competing for best leader. everyone’s been on them since college about getting together. it’s a global love story waiting to happen. every team night out when they’re seen talking, the paps go wild. everyone is speculating. everyone is talking. so many rumours.

then cassian drops a point on a match by mistake that costs them the game. he’s getting some rough treatment from the media.

she’s performing a risky stunt but one of her usual bases dropped out, and the newbie they replaced them isn’t so good. they drop her, and she breaks a leg. this could end her career if she gets forgotten.

the team PR need something big. need to win back cassian’s favour in the public eye and keep her relevant. what better way than to her her “secret boyfriend” publicly nurse her back to health?

fake relationship PR stunt. forced proximity because they have to live together. hurt/comfort. grumpy/sunshine except she’s the grumpy hurt and he’s the sunshine flirt. reassurance when he panics about interviews because he knows they’ll be mean to him about the dropped ball. bickering over their fake story. being so perfect for each other and being unable to see it. mindlessly being perfect, like cassian just automatically lifting her to sit up on things or helping her with her leg. her just brushing his hair from his face and holding up his water bottle when she watches practices.

c u d d l i n g.

getting so close and realising how nice it actually is. being a ‘couple’ even when they’re at home, and nobody is watching, because it feels so natural and right. cassian going to every single physio session with her right from the beginning because he “doesn’t want her to go through that alone.”

her defending him in an interview when they question her about cassian, and popping off about it. “you don’t know a single thing about him, and you’re all judging him for dropping one point? did you know he did it to protect a teammate, or did nobody watch the clip closely enough to notice that? he sacrificed the game and his reputation to care for his friend, he has the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever met, and none of you can see past one mistake to see that. he’s wonderful, and you’re all making him into a villain over a game. he’s not a villain. he’s my hero, I couldn’t have done any of my healing without him.”

and cassian is standing behind the cameras, because of course he’s not gonna let her go to interviews alone when her leg is hurt, and he’s speechless. she hobbles off the chair to get her crutches and cassian is by her side instantly. cupping her face in one hand after he’s steadied her, running his thumb along her cheek.

“did you mean that?”

“of course I meant it, cass. it’s not fair for you to get treated like this. I just— ugh. you’re like a little ray of sunshine and I wanna put you in a bottle and wrap you in bubble wrap to keep you safe.”

“alright, my little storm cloud. let’s get you off camera, huh? pretty sure they’re taping all of this. let’s go home and get you some cake.”

“‘kay.”

LIKE FUCK THE POTENTIAL THEY HAVE??? I gotta curb it there bc I’m getting too invested in this my brain is whirrrrrring rn

Rugby player cassian. That’s it. That’s the one.

[travellvogue]

Physical Theraphy- England Nt

a tyrone mings & john stones mini story ;)

Chapter 1- Thigh tattoo

“Good morning, good morning, good morning” you hear sung into the room, the same greeting he’d used for months, loving how you always gave him the same response, a shy nervous giggle as you looked down to the ground. Tyrone makes his way onto the physio bed as you rub your hands together, trying desperately to find some warmth in the small cold room at St George, the action looking rather odd due to your profession, Ty quickly noticing and giving you a wink. “Alright love, let me get comfy first” he teases, eyes flitting from your hands to your face, seeing the all too familiar blush rise to your cheeks. A shade of pink he could make appear with just a simple comment. Chuckling to himself, inspecting you as you grab a bottle of one of your fancy oils and a blue towel, swishing it over your shoulder and tying your hair up into a messy ponytail. He knows he shouldn’t be having these all too familiar dirty thoughts every time you scrape your hair up, but the action was a pure innuendo granting him to let his other head do the thinking. 

He couldn’t help falling for you, from the day you walked through the doors of St George he had tunnel vision for you, his world seemed to get a little brighter now he knew of your existence, wondering why the ‘rules’ had to be so cruel, why he couldn’t just tell you how in love with you he was- but he knew, no mixing work with pleasure- and you certainly stuck to that rule very well. 

Licking his lips and clearing his throat as he rolls his shorts up to create a pair of makeshift boxers. His long body just about fitting on the physio bed, a small nervous giggle falling from your lips at the sight of his toes wiggling over the edge of the bed, always wondering how he managed to make himself seem so relaxed when you were always so jittery in his presence. 

Of course you would never let your real emotions show, and you were great at doing so. You had to keep it professional- whether you wanted to launch yourself into his arms or not- the Aston Villa player’s charm wouldn’t work on you. Not even those gorgeous eyes and that infectious smile….

“What are those hands gonna do to me today missy” he teases, almost certain your face was going to explode with how red you were getting, squirting a small portion of oil onto the palms of your hands, massaging his thighs. Those goddamn thighs. The tattoos alone were something that could get you weak at the knees, let alone the way his muscles flinched and contracted every time you kneaded at his skin. “If you’d like to shush your mouth so I can work please” you reply sassily, a mechanism you’d created to build a wall between the two of you. He wasn’t stupid, however, he knew exactly what you were playing at, he enjoyed the harsh tone in your voice that caged the butterflies in your stomach, the sharp glare in your eyes that masked the look of admiration. 

He only laughed, pretending to pull a zip along the line of his lips and throw it away, a thankful nod from you as you get back to work. Your hands working wonders all over his legs, pretending to fake gag a you massage his feet, strapping his toes ready for the rest of recovery. 

“Okay you can leave now” you wipe your hands on the towel, jotting down a few notes on your notepad, looking back at him when he doesn’t move. Wanting to laugh at the sight of him pretending to be asleep, instead opting to launch the towel in his direction. His body jolting at the contact of the material, chuckling at your actions, blowing you an over dramatic kiss before jumping up and leaving the room. Ensuring he shouts a quick “Thank you pretty girl!” before closing the door behind him, walking off with a content smile, counting down the hours until he’s back in the same spot tomorrow. 

Your blush had only just died down when the door opened again. “Ugh what have you forgotten?” you groan, secretly quite happy he’d made his way back into the room again, even if meant just a few more seconds of enjoying that infectious smile. 

“Um, nothing haha, I’m just here for my physio” the voice didn’t belong to Tyrone, it was a completely new accent, a different raspy tone. Spinning to face the man who the voice belonged to. He was tall, not Tyrone’s height but not too far off. 

“Oh, hi John” you smile, you didn’t have the same level of friendship with him as you had with Tyrone, but there had certainly been times that you’d caught each others eye. You’d heard the murmured rumours about him wanting to ‘get to know you’. Choosing to simply ignore them and not get caught up in the ‘Stonesy’s Trap’ that Tyrone had warned you about, a fuck boy aura that you always seem to get trapped in, like a rapid washing machine throwing you around and spitting you out later. 

Those piercing blue eyes, however, made it very hard not to get caught up in his ‘trap’. The thigh tattoo… it’s like the boys here knew exactly what you liked. 

“What you staring at baby?” he grins, chewing at the centre of his bottom lip, eyes dancing around your body. “Uh, um I- my shifts over John” you stutter, the digital clock on the wall reading 6:28pm, already pushing your day by half an hour for Tyrone. “

“Never said I wanted a massage” he winks, sat on the side of the bed with his legs spread wide, if you didn’t know any better you’d be eyeing up the centre of them. The shorts he was wearing definitely a size too small for him, enhancing everything, from his thigh muscles, to his- nope. 

“What- I- uh, I’m not sure what you mea-” you stutter, the pen in your hand now suddenly becoming slick with sweat, your palms growing clammy from his presence. “Don’t act dumb gorgeous, we both know this-” he flicks his finger between the two of you, “-isn’t a friendship” his sentence is finished with a wink. “I’ve seen the way those pretty little hand work wonders on my thighs… always had me wondering what else they could work wonders on” your eyes almost drop out of their sockets at the sound of his confession, wondering where all this confidence was coming from. “You wanna demonstrate?” he asks, something in his question putting you at ease, watching him get comfy on the bed, same position Tyrone was in only a few minutes ago. A pang of guilt washed over your body, the simple thought of him made you want to shake yourself and push John out of the room. Instead your pushing your hands into his thighs, kneading at his muscles, a repetitive loop you performed on all of the players. But there was something about the way he groaned and gently moaned your name that made this particular message feel anything but innocent. 

You don’t know what happened in you mind, but something clicked, thinking it was completely acceptable to brush your oiled hands over his crotch. A split second passing before you realise what you’d just done. “Shi- I- I am SO sorry! That was so unprofessional I-” 

“Do it again” he cuts off your rambled apology, not a single inch of panic in his expression as you look up at him. In fact it was the opposite, pupils wider and darker then you’d seen before. Mouth hanging open by a centimetre, only for it to droop even more when you repeat your actions. 

The mound under your hand growing harder and harder by the second, a breathy moan falling from the City players mouth, a twitch of the hips as his growing hard on makes itself known in the palm of your hand.

One shared glance before he’s sitting up, grabbing at your jaw and instructing you powerfully. 

“Get on your knees, missy”

[thebibliosphere]

I was at physical therapy tonight waiting on Magic Physio Man to finish up with his previous client when I overheard a snippet of conversation in the waiting area between a dad and his son.

The kid was maybe, 14? 15? into all sorts of sports from the look of the kit bag sitting at his feet, bracing his shoulder and rubbing at it distractedly. His dad looked like a real hard man, big, buff, looks like he could pull the tractor along the field when the engine gave out, spoke in a low rumble, very stern, wagging the finger under his kid’s nose sort of thing while they filled out the intake form. It could easily have been mistaken for a hostile stance, if I hadn’t also been within earshot and heard the entire exchange.

Kid: “But DaaaaAAAaaaaad, I don’t wanna get a massage.”

Dad: “Why not?”

Kid: *emphatic shrug* “I dunno. It just seems kind of...wimpy...”

Dad: “Self care is important Tyler. And there’s nothing tough about being in pain. We’ve talked about this.”

Kid: “I know but...”

Dad: *wagging his finger* “You gotta respect yourself first Tyler. You gotta respect yourself and look after yourself. How are you going to help the team if you can’t play cause of a bum shoulder? If you don’t take care of it now, it’ll only get worse as you get older.”

Kid: “Ugh. Fine.”

Dad: “Do you want me to stay with you? I don’t mind.”

Kid: “Ugh, DAD.”

At which point the kid sloped off toward the work station where S was waiting, and the dad looked between me and N at the desk, gave a little shrug like “kids, what are you gonna do?” and carried on filling out the insurance form, chatting to N about how “my wife got me tuned into this stuff. Reckon she got sick of me bitchin about my back ha ha. Yea, amazing what a difference it makes. Made me realize what a jack ass I’d been for ignoring it all these years. I just wish I could make him see that.”

It was a short, maybe less than 10 minute exchange, but it made me really glad to know that there are kids out there with parents who care about them, who notice things, who understand what long term pain can do and that ignoring it can become debilitating, even while young. I dunno it just...really made me smile.

And then Magic Physio Man jabbed me in the scalene muscles and said “ah yes, much better, you swore instead of screaming. That’s an improvement.” and then turned me into human origami for the next hour while making witty banter to distract me from the feeling of being turned into human origami for an hour. But hey, I can turn my head to the right again, so he’s right. That’s improvement.

[babybadger]

One where Trent just found out he’s going to be a dad for the second time and he’s freaking out so Jordan speaks to him at training a and offers for your families to meet up and talk about having two young kids ~ sorry this is long I just thought it was cute xxx

ahhh this is so cute, P.S don’t ever worry about long requests, it gives me more to work with so they end up long like this :)❤️

Trent had been so excited when he found out you were pregnant again. With your first daughter being only one though, he began to panic when you were settled in bed. It’s silent as you lie on Trents chest, getting in some snuggles before your bump grows and gets in the way again.

“Do you think it’ll be hard?” he asks out of nowhere, his accent thicker than ever in his low tone. “What? Another baby? I mean we did it with Mia and look how amazing she turned out.” You ask not moving your head from his chest or opening your eyes. You knew Trent would have his eyes wide open, cogs in his brain turning incredibly fast, thinking about your first daughter. You’re not upset, are you?” You ask in a quiet voice, sitting up to face him. He also shuffled back to sit up by the headboard and put his arm around you. “No ofcourse not, I’m excited I promise. I’m just worried about leaving you all the time knowing you’ll have to worry about Mia and being pregnant and then having another baby when Mia’s only like 2.” You smile softly at him and lightly push his shoulder down to force him to lie down again. Snuggling back into him you quietly say “I’m a strong women Trent, I might cry a lot when I’m pregnant but it’s worth it for our babies.”

The next day at training, Trent’s head was all over the place. He had left before you even woke up, checking Mia was okay before kissing both of his girls heads and going to work as normal. At breakfast in the canteen, he couldn’t shake the thought of you having morning sick when you were pregnant with Mia and wondering if it was happening right now, without him there to help. He was staring into space before his teammates snapped him out of it and Joe told him it was time for them to head to the changing rooms.

As they got ready for training Trent was silent. It was weird not having his thick accent or belly laugh fill the room and Jordan was the first to notice it. The other boys had all left when Trent had only sat down to put on his shoes. “Fuck” he muttered under his breath knowing he was going to be late for drills. Meanwhile Jordan had asked Klopp if he could speak to Trent for a bit to fix whatever was getting him down. Klopp ofcourse said yes and sent the captain on his way.

Back in the changing room Trent was tying his last lace and about to put on his shin pads. “Right sit down whats up?” Jordan said sharply walking into the changing room. “In fact let’s find a private space c’mon.” The captain demanded again. Trent was completely confused but followed Jordan to an empty meeting room. They sat down and Trent tried to not make eye contact with him. He knew Jordan wanted to have a go at him for his head not being in it during the morning meeting or breakfast.

“Tell me whats going on.” Jordan said leaving back in the chair. Trent looked confused at him. “Don’t pretend something isn’t cause I’ve known you since before you broke first team and I’ve never seen you this spaced out.” “She’s pregnant” Trent mutters as Hendo comes to the end of his sentence. “What?” “She’s pregnant again” Trent sighs his hands wiping over his face. He wasn’t sure why but he wanted to cry. “Congrats mate! Why you upset? I mean I know it’s yours cause Y/N isn’t a cheater. So what’s there to not like?” Hendo questions his teary eyed friend.

“Mate it’s okay seriously. I thought you loved having a kid? Here” He said passing the box of tissues from his side of the table to Trent. “I do, I love Mia with my whole heart, you know that. But I missed all the little things she did as a tiny baby. Y/N used to tell me how she’d scrunch up her nose when she cried at midday which meant she was ready for her nap, and how hard she would laugh at the lunchtime shows on TV because they were so colourful. I missed all that man and the only thing I wanted with our next child if we had one was to have them once I was nearer retiring so I could see all those moments.”

Jordan is entirely touched my his teammates speech. He knew how much family meant to trent but hearing his speak so highly of them was admirable. He went to explain himself but Trent wasn’t done, he needed everything off his chest. “and now I’m leaving my pregnant wife to look after our 1 year old which will eventually mean she’ll be looking after a terrible two year old and a newborn by herself so I can go kick a ball about. I mean what if she takes out the frustration on me and I come home one day and just see a pen and divorce papers on the table and I have to..” “TRENT” Hendo says loudly shaking his friends shoulders out of it as Trent gets stuck staring onto space and working himself up again.

Trent was fully unaware that he had gone into a trance thinking of the fact you could leave him. Massive tear tracks formed down his face and he wipes them with the tissues. “Can I speak now or do you need to say more?” Jordan chuckles. Trent just nods, his throat still caught with emotion. “I know exactly how you feel okay? When my second girl was born, I was convinced Rebecca was leaving me one night when she was late home from her mums with the girls. Cried for a hour on the stairs just waiting on her, terrified she’d gone. It’s okay to be scared mate, alright? It’s natural and you’re still so young. I’ll speak to Rebecca about keeping Y/N company and giving her tips about how to look after two young ones okay? She’s not alone in this. I’ll talk to Klopp about cutting you some slack aswell, he’s a father too he’ll get it.” Hendo looks straight across the table at Trent and let’s out a large sigh. “Stop being so hard on yourself”

“Ahhh come in come in” You beckon to Jordan and Rebecca as they come to your house for a visit a few nights later. “Y/N I..ugh.. I honestly hate to be a pain but the girls fell asleep in the car, so you mind if we put them upstairs in a bed?” Y/N smiles a massive friendly smile. “Tonight Mi casa es su casa” You laugh and let Jordan carry a girl in both arms upstairs. “So I believe I’m here to give you tips” Rebecca days to you. “Me? Tips on what?” Your friend looks at you shocked “oh my god he didn’t tell you” She then turns to Jordan who’s coming down the stairs, “ he didn’t tell her.” He also sighs and you look between the two of them stressed.

Two hours later and they had explained the who situation to you. Jordon went over what happened at training and by the end you were begging Rebecca for more tips, writing them all in your phone. Mia lay silently in Jordan’s arms, staring up at her Godfather with wife eyes as he made funny faces at her to keep her quiet.

The door suddenly slams notifying the adults that Trent was back from his physio and fitness check. “Hey Y/N I’m home who’s car is that in the drivewayyyeeeeHey Jordan” He squeaks at the end knowing he was caught. He didn’t want you knowing he was stressed in fear that you would stress more. “Alright mate?” Jordan replied passing Mia up to Trent before he took a seat back beside you. “Becca and Jordan here were giving me tips for caring for two young ones at once.” You say smiling sweetly at Trent who almost sighed of relief that you hadn’t been notified about the training incident a couple of days ago. “Hey babygirl, who’s getting so big? Yes yes you are” Trent cooed at his daughter, blowing raspberries on her tummy to make her laugh as you saw the other couple out.

Eventually Trent had got Mia to sleep after a bottle and he climbed back into bed with you. Yet again he kissed you goodnight and you held each other tight, kidding yourselves that you weren’t going to have a conversation before you slept. “I’m terrified too you know” You start the conversation but he doesn’t reply. “Terrified about giving birth again, terrified about caring for a newborn again, terrified about the back pain, heat sweats and headaches again, Terrified that Mia will be a jealous sister and hate me for caring for the baby. the list goes on. I’m really scared Trent.” You finished and Trent feels your tears roll from your cheeks to his chest. “Oi babygirl none of that yeah? We got each other to lean on. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you how I feel, just that you were so excited about having a baby I didn’t want to drag you down. Now I know communication is key and as cheesy as it is, if we communicate we’ll get through it and have a happy healthy baby by the end yet again, okay?”

You nodded your head and Trent crawled down to your belly and began to speak to your baby who was barely a baby yet. “Mummy and daddy are terrified of you and you probably don’t even have proper toes yet.” He started off which made you laugh. These were the most important moments. Even if Trent missed what happened during the day, he always made up for it in love. Love always conquers fear.

[wonkyfitness]

Day 1 of HOME ZERO; #FULL BODY EXPERIENCE

Pre Pre

Found Natacha’s channel thanks to another Youtube channel (someone was reviewing Natacha’s yum yum habits) a few months ago. I have liked her vibe and decided to subscribe especially since she didn’t seem to be recommending any of the usual ‘clean’ eating mindset that most of fitness gurus do. Yes, it was important to me and still is and my relationship with food is really too complicated so the fact that I found someone who just makes things easy and non toxic in any  way is amazing.

Day 0 (aka Tuesday)

 I have bought Natacha Oceane’s HOME RELOAD (yes, you are reading right) and I have figured while indulging myself in eating in the .... well basically everything I could get my hands on (because reading all these COVID news are not really inviting healthy coping mechanics); that I am not sure why I am waiting till Monday to get started with HOME ZERO (yes, bought second program before even starting first one, I must be a genius)... and while looking around the AFLETE app I felt excitement and I am the type to just ‘go for it’ if I really wanna do it.

My mindset and surrounding stuff

Current Relationship with food: It is still super complicated (I am clearly on binge side). I have read the nourishing ebook Natacha attached to the app and used the calculator thingie (with a bit of fear as I tend to get obsessive) and it said I am supposed to be eating 2020 kcal (34 y o; 165 cm, +-58kg). That has mentally stopped me as - well; according to it I must be undereating. I have decided to give it a chance (even if I am terrified of gaining further weight) and actually track my food throughout. LET’S MAKE IT SCIENCE. As of wednesday I live in tier 3 (means I am out of job until Tier 2 comes back, if you are confused check out UK’s COVID rules) I have nothing better to do.

Body health: So far HEALTHY. The only things is that 6 months earlier I got a mysterious kneecap injury and while it is nowwhere near as bad as originally,  SOMETIMES - SOMETIMES. SO yeah, Natacha’s plyo jumpin stuff makes me feel very tentative.

Fitness level: During Lockdown 1 - I lost 16 kgs, started practicing yoga (YES! ADRIENE) plus do another normal exercise regime, I got so into it that during lockdown 2 I started using DownDog app (check it out they have the whole range and I LOVE THEM). I was so fit that yesterday I felt super confident with Natacha’s ZERO program and started worrying about it being to easy and me being bored. I also missed saying during last 3 months I have personal trainer with physio background whom I decided to see because of my knee issues.

DAY 1 FINALLY (WEDNESDAY FOR CONFUSED)

I have woken up and measured myself from all sides

(all in cm: upper arm 24; shoulders 96; chest 83; Tummy 79; Hips 84; Thigh 49; Weight: 59; Body Fat% 23.2) I will just keep track of it weekly. No photos because... I am self conscious :)

Then went to work (relevant smh) and I yeah, didn’t think much of the fact that today would be quite fitness relevant. Anyways everyone at work were quite surprised by how strong I am (I mean I realized I moved stuff with ease, that stuff being the one I had issues with beforehand if we are honest)... so yeah, I really thought the program will be super easy especially since I was checking out the exercises and they seemed like a no-brainer.

I came back and then... well, I underestimated the power of Natacha ;).

First of all I had to outsource warm up exercises (she doesn’t provide them, and her ebook recommends so...) - youtube was a go, I went for stuff that doesn’t include jumping and off we gooo...

OKAY. Honestly, I knew my hands are weak. Like I am pretty wide in the shoulders for a girl (I am aware of that lol) so I have always thought something comes with it but naaa. Also. Exercises themselves are a no-brainer ...if you take only one rep and go to next one. If you do as she asks you to - you are stuck doing 12 reps and do it 3/4 times. Honestly 30s to 60s breaks became a blessing after 3rd exercise and my lord and SAVIOUR after 4th. Only one exercise I had to stop every 6 reps and give myself a breath because I just couldn’t and it was not even the one I have thought I would have issues with (spoiler alert: it was plank shoulder tap to sit up). Overall only once in the whole set I thought of stopping and it was then after I was done with it it became easier. Just my arms. UGH. Stretching after also was outsourced (AND VERY NECESSARY).

That being said. I have logged it on my iwatch as functional strength training, it took me an hour and 10 mins roughly t complete and it says I have burnt 210 kcal during that time. During the whole exercise regime my heart rate was anywhere above 100 BPM to 140 BPM in extreme cases. As expected my shoulders are a bit stiff but tomorrow is a Leg Day so that should not really concern me anyways.

As we are super late in the evening now. I have eaten 1800 kcal today and first time in 3 days I cant say I have binged.

Way to prove me that I am not as fit as I thought I am and I am so excited to see where this leads me!

See ya tomorrow, Torpedoes (and if you are on HOME ZERO as well, let me know how you guys are surviving; absolutely no reviews online, I JUST WANNA KNOW WHAT OTHERS THINK).

[drowningwavez]

My physio didn’t do anything for my back today even though I told him how bad it was I think he just forgot and I didn’t want to say anything. But just went for a walk and I’m in agony. He said the stretches aren’t really meant to help things atm just stop them getting worse. Honestly it’s all too much. I am putting in so much effort and feel like I’m getting no where so why bother. I’ll be in pain either way. I’m just over it. It’s been my life for 4 years now.

I have my psychiatrist appt at 7pm tonight and isk what to say or do. As it’s like are you going to do something well I can’t say for sure until I do it you know so how do you answer that but then don’t want to say yes when I might not hurt myself. Ugh it’s so fucking stupid I just wish this system was better where you could just say yes I need help. Idk whether to ask about a private admission but I feel if he thought it was a option he’d have said so. I think I’ve only been like this before he admitted me in November.

[punkscowardschampions]

Sick Kids Group Chat

sonmychest: 🤗 tigerbalm: 👋🧡 tigerbalm: it's been so long! 🙀 how are you?? sonmychest: I know! I suck sonmychest: don't want to be the youtuber spending ten minutes apologizing for not being here though sonmychest: I'm doing pretty good right now, how are you? 😚 tigerbalm: it's a bad day, not a bad life...is what I would caption if I was an instagram influencer or something 😸😸 brainpain: 🦸 speaking for me when I haven't streamed in days LOL sonmychest: 🤭🤭 sonmychest: at least we have reasons for being that #extra that aren't the vague notion of NEEDING a break from taking pictures of our ☕ brainpain: I do spend LOTS of time in a dark room but not for 📸 no flash photography PLEASE 😵 inandout: your feed just updated, Lo brainpain: 👮🚓🚨 sonmychest: stalking or hacking? sonmychest: either way I might need those expertise brainpain: I had a 🌈✨🧁 FIGHT ME, Zachary tigerbalm: it is pretty tbh inandout: friend request, but it's not as if I don't have zero hacking or stalking skills sonmychest: wait, what happened to the anonymity rules??? sonmychest: where's @gotspoons and what have you done with her?! inandout: you missed the overthrowing of a tyrant inandout: not really, but the rule book is gone gotspoons: going to pretend I was summoned by mention, not notification gotspoons: say how you really feel, Zach! 😔 inandout: I said not really, rowboat gotspoons: I have 👀 and 👂 everywhere so you better be nice 😏🤭 gotspoons: but no, hi again, @sonmychest! we missed you! gotspoons: it seemed the whole no names no real life details thing was more of a hindrance than a help to the whole goal of this group, so we came to the conclusion by majority, and the higher ups were all okay with it, providing everyone under a certain age got their parents to sign off and we all used the same common sense we use on other areas of the web gotspoons: so feel free to introduce yourself by real name if you would like, but it's not necessary if you would not 😊 gotspoons: reintroduce, I should say tigerbalm: we shared selfies & everyone was 😻😻😻 brainpain: learned what a sex god @tooexhaustedtolivevicariously aka Rich is sonmychest: 😱😱😱 sonmychest: can't believe I've missed so much sonmychest: need to get better at socialization, my mammy is right 😂 brainpain: an unrivalled love story brainpain: not that he's here to back me up on that inandout: Paris and Helen who? Romeo and Juliet who? Anne Boleyn and Henry VIII who? tigerbalm: wait, those are all 💔😿!! brainpain: he's being a brainpain: insert a swear word of your choice sonmychest: *stage whispers* it's not jealousy though, is it? sonmychest: clearly, fill me in on all the nuances whilst I frantically try to find a picture of myself that's even one 😻 brainpain: he's a 👶 you already know brainpain: but Rich will be leaving me for some uni girl 🤓 so he's not wrong about the doomed part sonmychest: face that launched a thousand ships is a really great insta bio though sonmychest: right, so we have Rich, Zach...who else? gotspoons: Rosie here 🤗 brainpain: Lauren tigerbalm: & me, Robyn inandout: the new girl who started the revolution is Zelda inandout: @ihatemyguts sonmychest: no way sonmychest: a fellow nerd, or at least child-of-a-nerd sonmychest: 'cos I'm Kara and I don't totally hate this photo [selfie] tigerbalm: 😻😻 tigerbalm: you look so like I imagined you, except I thought maybe you'd be 👼 tigerbalm: should we all send new pics? brainpain: [does because any excuse] brainpain: they'll be buried tigerbalm: [a selfie that's even shyer than the first one she sent] gotspoons: [the same photo as before] inandout: if I must [some ridiculous selfie] tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: This is a nice welcome back tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: and I've only been to physio brainpain: NOT ready for another selfie drop from you, boy brainpain: I'll be on my fainting couch brainpain: also hi tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Perhaps I should save your 🦴s and my pride when poor Kara, hello again btw, has to pretend to swoon too brainpain: 🦸 has great taste brainpain: we all love a shy boy tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: My teachers undoubtedly wish I were shy, make their lives a lot easier tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: [a photo] here we are anyway, I hope you found a soft surface suitable for you, Lauren brainpain: ☁ tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Ah, so you're the 👼 brainpain: LMAO 😈 brainpain: but you're looking angelic sir sonmychest: how are you ALL so cute sonmychest: this keeps happening, omg tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 👼 face hides a multitude of 😈 sins apparently inandout: but reading between the lines, who else is making you swoon/stalk/hack inandout: that's my question tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Well spotted, Zachary 🔎 sonmychest: 🙈 ugh, I'm so embarrassing sonmychest: but we can pretend it's all spilling out now because I played it SO cool in the actual conversation, right 😬😅 inandout: that's the official story, everyone'll confirm sonmychest: thanks, I need the backup so I can also pretend I have lots of friends and a normal social life gotspoons: we are your friends, Kara! gotspoons: though are normal is different from most tigerbalm: & you're coming to my birthday party & even though you have to stand on the other side of the room to Zach, it's still social tigerbalm: OH & we were talking about potentially meeting up!! All of us brainpain: keep it 6ft, children inandout: I'll be in the garden with my date, you can have the indoors with yours inandout: collectively, because we're all speed dating here now inandout: proud of you for picking someone outside this circle sonmychest: GAH so much exciting information today!!! sonmychest: 😁 sonmychest: obviously, I figured no one needed the drama of me falling for you, Zach sonmychest: 💀 not cute inandout: there's already a book and film about it, the chance has been thoroughly missed brainpain: Ignore him, Zelda's nothing but thrilled to find someone else in her age bracket brainpain: 👶👶 brainpain: hit us with your 💞 please sonmychest: well, I didn't just re-log into this chat today, I went on all my old forums because well, boredom, we can all relate, right? sonmychest: what I thought would be the least promising one was the sonmychest: not a dating site, I'm not 100 but you know the kind sonmychest: anyway, the CUTEST boy starts talking to me and he's also really funny and nice ??? tigerbalm: OMG! Did you swap selfies there too? sonmychest: not yet sonmychest: because he sounds so 😻😻 sonmychest: and he wants to talk to me again and he might not if we do tigerbalm: you're 😻😻😻 Kara brainpain: what she said brainpain: + if he's as funny, nice, all of that, as you said brainpain: I doubt he's a shallow jerk inandout: are you a good judge of character or not? inandout: what it comes down to sonmychest: oh, thank you guys! sonmychest: I don't know sonmychest: I think I am sonmychest: he didn't immediately come out with weird requests or weird 📸 of his own and that's a massive start on that site, I was honestly there to 🗑 my account but he changed my mind brainpain: I'll PM you the spooky stories my sister sends me about guys, it'll make you feel better brainpain: you'd know if he was one sonmychest: 🤭 do, can compare notes sonmychest: we honestly just talked about totally normal, nerdy things, it wasn't even a little sketch brainpain: ✉️ + 100000000s brainpain: hold up tigerbalm: that sounds 🧡 & so does this boy tigerbalm: awwhhh sonmychest: [sends the description he sent her slow your roll gal lol] sonmychest: assuming he isn't the archetypal internet weirdo from the 90s scare tactics tigerbalm: WOW inandout: tall, dark and handsome inandout: original sonmychest: okay, I know that covers a lot of bases sonmychest: but someone has to be brainpain: continuing to ignore you, Zach sonmychest: I get it though sonmychest: it's not like I even care what he looks like though, so even if the pics aren't exactly that description brainpain: not every man can be my Rich but doesn't make them 👹/🤡/👻/👽/👥 brainpain: trust your gut, it's not that body part that's failing you tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 👹 is a solid representation but the hair needs to be longer tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: at the risk of making myself or Zachary appear like overly protective boys, I think as long as you're as sensible as you surely are with this, then there's no harm in the back and forth tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: so if you were going to meet this person IRL, he could perhaps come to the group meet-up, that would be a good way to do it? brainpain: *🧝🏻 that's what needs to be said about your representation tigerbalm: Great idea, Rich! 😺 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: when the beard comes in I'll look more Gimli than Elrond but I'll take the compliment 👽 babe from outerspace brainpain: who's watching the LoTRs with me? gotspoons: count me out, I'm the worst film buddy ever 😴 ihatemyguts: how many naps could you have in 20hr28mins assuming we're watching everything extended release 'cos duh ihatemyguts: 🥳 go hard or go home 🥳 brainpain: that's you in ihatemyguts: of course ihatemyguts: long since stopped asking for a pause every time I gotta 💩 ihatemyguts: adept at catching up with the plot is a life skill I didn't expect to gain like this but 🙌 gotspoons: 😅 I could do the whole 20hr28mins and that not be a record for how many hours I've slept consecutively brainpain: I'll act it out for you, I can get the 🧝🏼🏹 costume together during the pauses brainpain: dressing up box runneth over sonmychest: 🙋 dibs Arwen sonmychest: my old Katniss cosplay can be repurposed with some bedsheets and a 👸 vibe to it brainpain: that makes Rich your daddy 👀 you, babe sonmychest: 😖😳 nooooooooooo brainpain: I'll be Galadriel if only so I can speak to my man telepathically 💕 brainpain: swerving off book for that love connection ihatemyguts: obviously eye of sauron ihatemyguts: jokes write themselves inandout: hair of a hobbit wig so likewise inandout: and you know, a jew, gonna be the one to handle the 💎 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: How hairy are your feet, a pickup line that doesn't get thrown about enough inandout: not sending you free feet pics inandout: PM for prices though tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Respect the hustle, Zachary tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: but I have clearly pledged myself and my allegiance to an e-girl already 🧝🏼🏹 brainpain: changed my Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim name to Galadriel for you, Richard, you've officially made me basic brainpain: will cite it in the divorce tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: as long as I can proudly produce said divorce to every mouthbreather that calls me a freak, I am okay with that tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: devastated, naturally 💔 but okay brainpain: hit me up for multiple re-marriages at your convenience, I like that for us tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Make a solid livestream 👰💒🤵 gotspoons: I'll get officiated! tigerbalm: imagine if any of us actually did get together cos of this forum gotspoons: You never know, Robyn gotspoons: it would be so adorable 😊 tigerbalm: Kara is giving me hope that online dating doesn't have to be a minefield sonmychest: don't give up yet! sonmychest: you're so lovely, a total catch tigerbalm: there still isn't a blushing 😸 emoji & I NEED it ihatemyguts: a travesty ihatemyguts: who do we need to @ for that brainpain: @fibrofog brainpain: he was a BIG DEAL ihatemyguts: 😏 hoping he comes back and I can 👰💒🤵 him obvs brainpain: 🔺 between me/him/Rich was prime in my life ihatemyguts: glory dayz brainpain: if he doesn't show up to stop our first wedding ihatemyguts: Zach won't even properly date me until we're confirmed #foreveralone at 18 inandout: you don't call this properly dating? inandout: @Kara you've got yourself a hater before your romance has fully taken off ihatemyguts: oi, don't drag me in to your 🧂 behaviour ihatemyguts: I'm very nice, I swear inandout: that's just how I taste inandout: she knows brainpain: if I didn't know my CF facts I'd be calling for a ban brainpain: that sounds filthy sonmychest: first declaring Rich my daddy, now 👅 Zach 😲😲😲 sonmychest: I'm also quite nice but not that kind of nice, I 🤞 tigerbalm: I don't think I wanna know.... inandout: But I'll tell you inandout: when we sweat, we lose too much salt, one of our many flaws inandout: on a hot day, you could lick us and taste it, if we like you enough to let you sonmychest: maybe that can be enough of a selling point? sonmychest: if crush boy talks to me again and it invariably comes up inandout: he might get to see it crystallise on your skin, not 💎 or ✨ but hey sonmychest: such a sexy condition, when you leave out all the mucus inandout: ZZ top is feeling it, she wants to properly date me ihatemyguts: 🧂 is a flavour I can enjoy pretty unrestricted ihatemyguts: let me have some pleasure tigerbalm: do the normies flirt like this too? tigerbalm: Kara you'll have to tell us, when you go further undercover ihatemyguts: don't know how lucky you are to have that pickup line in your back pocket ihatemyguts: just add tequila and a lemon and you've got a good time sonmychest: I'll 100% report back, providing he doesn't go 👻 brainpain: you need a drink when a boy lovingly strokes your hair only to feel the dent in your 💀 sonmychest: but also, to work out if your amazing hair is real or nah brainpain: I have too many split ends to be asked if it's a wig sonmychest: I ✂ my own sonmychest: and not often enough 😅 brainpain: don't reach for the bleach cos Robbie sees you as a blonde, there's my sisterly/old lady advice sonmychest: oh God, with these brows? sonmychest: I can swear I won't do that, along with meet up with internet randos alone brainpain: I'd volunteer to come along but I don't do disappearing into the background brainpain: would wear a trenchcoat for the right 💸💸 gotspoons: Normies definitely TRY to use our disabilities as a way to flirt with us, with varying success gotspoons: the amount of time I spend in bed is nothing to be 😏 about, honestly gotspoons: even if I was also chiming in to confirm blondes do have more fun, when they've had all their vitamins, a perfect amount of sleep, the stars have aligned JUST right... 🤭 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: as resident ♿ user, they most ask if IT 'works', which is a bizarre level of care for people who aren't concerned about how me getting into their establishment really 'works' tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: and, my dear, you are a terrible third wheel tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 🔻 suits you better than obscurity 😎 brainpain: but I am a fun time with the TBI having increased the impulsiveness + removing the few inhibitions I did have 😉 brainpain: inappropriate sexual activity is a listed symptom 🤞 boys ihatemyguts: definitely a case of 'okay when I point it out to embolden myself, creepy if you do it' ihatemyguts: think some normies point out their flaws to be endearing but idk, is low-key a disability superpower guys, + 1 for us brainpain: like, what does that mean? Inappropriate for who? Answers on a ✉️ please ihatemyguts: could range from, science, you're being a prude to calling you a master criminal on the low brainpain: so many of my symptoms could describe anyone in their teens or early 20s brainpain: Rich, write a smart boy uni essay on it tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: depending on the bit that gets damaged, could be the same part that isn't yet fully developed in young people tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: checks out 🧠 brainpain: you're SO clever brainpain: you'll be fighting off more than one 🤓 girl tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: I'm not sure about that, on either count tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: though the chair is a useful battering ram when it needs to be brainpain: I'm into it tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: then you can hitch a ride, of course brainpain: reserved™ tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: the parking is unparalleled brainpain: not allowed to drive, you are my transport now, no pressure gotspoons: Me either, who can? gotspoons: need to work out the carpool situation brainpain: my housemate will, she owes me 10000s of favours inandout: + my parents tigerbalm: mine too but they're a lot to inflict upon anyone sonmychest: ^^hard same tigerbalm: maybe we get ourselves there unless someone can't? tigerbalm: & those people speak up sonmychest: That makes sense to me brainpain: ok, is there anyone who needs a lift? ihatemyguts: I'm good tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: likewise gotspoons: I'll make a permanent post where people can register interest in the meet-up, as well as need for a lift gotspoons: so anyone who can offer a lift, can respond there too, sound good guys? 😊 inandout: cool inandout: very un-tyrant like gotspoons: thank you, Zach 😏

[fionarhiannon]

London, March 15th & 16th.

‘Betrayal’ @ The Harold Pinter Theatre.

Lovely two days in London meeting up with a friend and going to see Betrayal.

We had tickets for Friday night, and I was so excited to finally see it.

It was everything I’d hoped from what I’d read from others, and more.

Has you really laughing one moment and pulls you in to the point I could feel my eyes itch, the tears prickling. The pauses are perfectly done, that uncomfortbility filling the theatre. You could hear a pin drop in those moments (or, in the Royal Circle Standing where I was Friday night, the clink Of a glass being cleaned in the bar behind us)

The staging works so well. You’re drawn to the shadows, and to the third character remaining on stage when it isn’t their scene. A constant reminder of the casualties of an affair. Pointedly, when Emma and Robert’s daughter appears on stage, Jerry throws her up, just as they talked up. But there is her father, and she runs into his arms, sits on his lap, and they cuddle, as the stage revolves around Jerry and Emma and one of their afternoons. Absolutely heartbreaking.

I like Zawe’s Emma, but I have to say, Charlie and Tom give powerful performances that really highlight the betrayal. Of course, Pinter used repetition fantastically in his dialogue, and it’s something they deliver beautifully. Particularly when Jerry invites Robert over after learning Emma confesses to the affair, and Robert’s smugness over telling him he’s known for four years - Tom sits there so casually as he lands that blow, his words laced. And again for the restaurant scene, as Jerry tries to keep his cool, his near slip ups. Audience gasps really add to it - we can all feel these blows he’s being landed. We can all feel the weight of every layer of betrayal.

Friday night we attempted stage door. Charlie has to leave straight away, but Zawe quickly came down the line, signing and thanking us as we thanked her (and she ordered her Uber 😂).

Saturday I was lucky enough to get a ticket to the matinee performance. I was luckier with stage door that day. I was next in Line to meet Tom when Charlie came out, so I quickly asked Charlie to come over. He signed for me and I thanked him, whilst taking a picture of him. He’s said “do you want to just...” I cut in “selfie? Can you do that?” He said “of course!” So I flipped the camera. We were in abit of a right spot so we were both trying to keep my phone steady. We snapped a few (all featuring my double chin) and I thanked him again. “Thank you lovely” he said. I turned and Tom was waiting for me. He said it was nice to see me again and then noticed my injury. “Oh no! What happened?!” He asked. I explained my knee ligament injury and how it was affecting my back and hips. “How did you do that?” He asked. I told him that I coach kids football and did it. “Oh I’m so sorry, how long will it take to heal?” He asked as he signed my programme. I told him the doctor said roughly 4-6 weeks, however it’s been a while and was getting worse. “You going to have physio therapy?” He asked, and I said yes as he took my phone off me. “Shall we do this then?” He asked, holding my phone out. The first one was at our level, and after battling our British weather, my hair was frizzy and I’d stuck it up and just... ugh. I turned my head towards him and muttered “god I look like shit”. Tom chuckled and said “no you don’t! Here, let’s do this” then took another from an above angle. I thanked him, quickly said the play was brilliant, and started to hobble away, he watched me and my friend behind gave me some room. “Oh, I left something with security for you last night - it’s an anthology. My first published piece of writing in it, and it was inspired by Betrayal” I told him. I’ve been waiting for months to find a way to get it to him, especially when I heard he was doing Betrayal. “Oh that’s fantastic! Thank you very much” he said. “You’re welcome, bye Tom” I said and turned more as my friend approached him. There’s two cars parked there so a little difficult to get through - I had to side step like a crab haha. “Oh, and I hope you feel better soon, take care and rest up!” He added, smiling. “Thank you Tom, take care,” I responded. He’s so attentive and kind. The more I see him work and engage with fans, the more I love him. He seems like such a fantastic, genuine person, and I honestly have never had an experience with him that could make me judge him harshly. Such a fantastic two days.

EDIT: just wanted to add, Friday night because we were rather close when Tom stopped signing, I saw people get very snippy with security. There are two guys - one I know is called Danny (I encountered him at McKellan’s King Lear which is how I know his name - freaked him out when I used it though haha) and I don’t know the name of the other guy, but for the sake of this we’ll call him Security 1 (S1)

S1 went up and down telling everyone not to tell them your life story. You can have a photo or an autograph, and this is to keep the line moving so they can see as many people as possible. This is a fair way of doing it, however on Friday night some people spent a lot of time talking to Tom. Trust me, I can understand how you want to try tell Tom what he means to you etc. What grinded my gears was hearing people bite at S1 and Danny for not moving people on. For not making sure we all get Tom. One person even said “but I brought a ticket” prompting Danny to respond - calmly - “but this isn’t a meet and greet, you saw the play you paid for” and shrug. I overheard all of this whilst I patiently waited for S1 to ask him if he could leave the anthology for Tom inside (which he kindly said he would and I thanked him before leaving). Don’t bite at people who are just doing their jobs, please. We were joking in queue that night about Charlie (until we found out why he didn’t come out), I was even pretending to whine, saying his name and jokes that I was going to shout him or rattle the barriers. Point is, we were laughing and I didn’t do it. I didn’t say anything to security. Stage Door isn’t a given. It’s a bonus if it works out. S1 even made a joke when staff walked past. “Sorry guys! These guys aren’t doing stage door either!” And we all laughed. S1 was in a cheekier mood on Saturday. “Please don’t tell them your life story - they know how amazing they are, that’s why they’re on in the West End!” To reiterate, these are just guys doing their job, and as in any walk of life, if you’re polite to them, they’ll be polite to you too.