Tumgik
#even if I end up not being autistic this is such a relief
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A lesson learned
Word count: around 4.2k YAY :D
Tw: afab reader being referred to as “woman” “good girl” etc. Meandom!matt, soft!matt at the end, brattyvigilante!reader, pet names, impact play (spanking, pussy slapping), degradation, unprotected p in v, cumming inside, praise, forced submission?, reader has daddy issues, lowkey emotionally stunted reader, possibly autistic reader (this is me we’re talking about), daddy kink, subspace, aftercare <- none of the things listed is in order :/
*****************************
It wasn’t supposed to go like this.
It was supposed to be a simple mission; sneak in, get the book, and sneak back out. It wasn’t supposed to be whatever the hell this is.
A shitshow, would probably be the best way to put it.
“Sneaking” back out became running and fighting for your life against who knows how many armed men were guarding the building.
You shouldn’t have gone in alone, but you wanted to prove him wrong. He always underestimates you, thinks you can’t handle stuff. You can handle stuff! He just won’t let you! Daredevil. Or rather your boyfriend, Matt Murdock. Says he just wants you to be safe, but he takes things too far! He practically babies you as if you aren’t a fully capable person. He isn’t the only one that’s been doing this vigilante stuff for years.
Tonight was just… a slip up. Your head wasn’t in the right place, no big deal! It’s not your fault his voice was in the back of your mind reminding you to wait for him, only further goading you into doing otherwise. You dont need to wait for him, you’ve got this.
But again, it turned out that you didn’t have this. Not when there’s a gun pointed at your head. If it wasn’t for Daredevil showing up and chucking his billy club at the guys head, knocking him unconscious, you’d be dead.
Your body visibly sags with relief when the assailant goes down, but your relief doesn’t last long when your gaze shifts to your savior. Shoulders taut, chest heaving, fists clenched… he’s pissed. It’s understandable, given the fact that you did exactly what he said not to do and almost ended up in an early grave.
Silence stretches between the two of you for longer than you were comfortable with, only the sound of your panting echoing in the dingy room can be heard. You weren’t sure if you should speak, wondering if it’d anger the man before you even more.
“…we should probably get outta here–“
“You didn’t listen.”
More silence.
“…what-?”
“You didn’t. Listen.” He repeats himself, slowly turning to face you. Normally the sight of him in his getup gets you going, but in this moment you can’t help but feel pity for any of the criminals that cross him. The broken lights overhead cast an eerie shadow around him, emphasizing the little horns on his head.
“…we don’t have time for this, we need to leave–“
It takes him a mere two seconds to cross the distance between you two, towering over you with his lips curled up in a snarl.
“You didn’t fucking listen to me. I told you to wait, to let me help you, and what do you do? You deliberately disobey me!”
He’s so close you can feel his breath on your face, hot and heavy. Despite his intimidating demeanor, his words cause a flicker of anger to rise within you. Who does he think he is?
“Disobey you?! Who are you, my father? I’m a grown woman, D!”
“I might as well be, given how you’re acting like a petulant child that doesn’t know how to do what she’s told!”
Clenching your jaw you shoot him the hardest glare you can muster. “You know what? Screw you.” Turning and making your way to the exit you fling the door open, intent on leaving him behind. If he wants to be an asshole then he can be an asshole, just not around you.
Immediately the autumn chill lingering in the night air nips at any exposed skin, causing goosebumps to break out across your body. You ignore the shiver that runs through you, starting the trek home.
Normally you and Matt would use this time to talk, flirting or bantering with each other before going your separate ways. But not tonight, you don’t even want to look at him.
*****************************
Climbing in through your window you sigh heavily, ready for tonight to be over. The warm air of your apartment greets you like a hug, allowing you to relax just a little bit. You’ve just barely managed to take off your boots when you’re forced up against the closest wall. Your hands instinctively go to defend yourself, assuming someone’s here to hurt you, only for you to stop in your tracks when your eyes scan the familiar figure holding you there.
“Ugh-! What the hell?!”
His forearm presses firmly into your collar bones, rendering you unable to move. Before you can say anything more your lips are being smothered by his, the action catching you off guard.
“Mmph-!”
The kiss is rough and clumsy, teeth clashing and saliva smearing across your mouths. You’re usually not happy with unexpected kisses, even on a good day. You manage to roughly shove him back, putting some distance between you two.
“Get off of me! What the fuck is wrong with you?!”
“What’s wrong with me? Take a wild fucking guess sweetheart.” He spits sarcastically, reaching up and yanking his helmet off before tossing it aside. He steps closer, finger pointed in your face. “I told you not to–“
Smacking his hand away, you cut him off. “Don’t lecture me–“ but just as you did to him, he doesn’t allow you to finish.
“Be quiet. For once in your goddamn life just listen to me.” His voice is firm, demanding even, enough to render you silent. Nostrils flaring, you stare up at him expectantly.
Seemingly satisfied by your cooperation, he continues. “…I told you not to go in there alone. I told you to wait for me. I told you to be smart. You almost died. Do you hear me? He was going to kill you, and if I hadn’t been there-“ He can’t bring himself to say the words, the muscles in his jaw twitching as he clenches his teeth.
“Okay yeah, fine, you saved me and I was stupid for going in alone. Is that what you wanna hear?!”
“Ugh, it isn’t about what I want to hear! It’s about you doing exactly what I told you not to do and endangering yourself in the process!” He argues. You don’t respond, unsure of what to say. He is right… kind of, but it’s still his fault. Plus he doesn’t need to be so rude about it…
As if sensing he isn’t getting anywhere with you he straightens his posture, a blank look crossing his face. “…get undressed.”
…You’re absolutely baffled. Maybe you heard him wrong.
“…what-?”
“Get. Undressed.” He repeats, voice steady and leaving no room for argument. You know what he’s doing. He’s going to use sex to break you down, get you to agree with him, admit you’re wrong, but that isn’t gonna happen. You’re stubborn by nature, and when you’re frustrated it only increases tenfold.
Still… it’s been too long since you’ve slept together, and the idea of what he has in store is enough for a flicker of excitement to stir in your tummy. Okay, maybe you will have sex, but you won’t agree with him. In fact, you’re gonna make things harder for him.
With a newfound confidence you say those two words that have become a staple in the bedroom, the two words that always set the mood for what’s in store.
“…Make me.”
For a moment he doesn’t react, his sightless eyes staring in your general direction. He then nods, his demeanor calm and composed. A mere second later you’re being tossed over his shoulder, a startled gasp being ripped from your throat.
“Matt-! Put me down!” You demand, kicking your legs and pounding your fists against his back, your head beginning to spin from the awkward angle.
Smack!
You jolt, body frozen with shock as it registers the stinging sensation on the back of your thigh. It hurt. Hurt more than usual, enough to keep you quiet.
Matt’s no stranger to your less than obedient nature. He’s a patient man, using soft words and gentle caresses to ease you into being good. At least, that’s how it usually goes. Tonight’s different. He’s fed up, and he’s through with being patient.
He drops you onto your mattress, an undignified “oof!” getting knocked out of you. He then lowers himself to sit next to you, casually pulling you over his lap. Immediately sensing his intentions you begin to squirm, your face flushing. But his hold is firm, you’re not going anywhere.
You wouldn’t even be able to count on your hands the amount of times he’s had you pulled over his lap. It’s one of your shared favorites regarding bedroom fun. Though right now you know it’s going to be anything but.
The deep rumble of his voice causes you to stop squirming. “Here’s how this is going to work. You seem intent on being a disobedient brat, so I’m going to treat you like one. The more you struggle, the more I hurt you. Do you understand?”
Huffing indignantly, you decide not to respond… that is, until he lands a harsh slap to your bottom.
“I said, do you understand?” To your dismay, the thickness of your pants don’t do much to lessen the sting.
“Yes!” You snap, annoyance clear as day. That’s okay, Matt knows you’ll be a whining mess soon.
“Good girl.” Embarrassingly enough, the praise causes your heart to flutter, just as it always does. Despite being angry with you, and wanting to punish you, you’re still his baby at the end of the day.
Hands gripping the waistband of your bottoms as well as your underwear, he begins to shimmy them downward, just enough to expose your ass to him. Your face feels impossibly hot and he’s only just begun.
He begins to massage your asscheeks, squeezing the flesh in his large, calloused hands. “I tried to make this easier, you know. Told you to get naked for a reason. I was gonna bend you over my lap either way, but if you did as you were told you at least would’ve been more comfortable.” He states, a hint of condescension in his usually kind voice.
Of course. Shooting him a nasty side eye, you stay quiet. He’s dragging this out for a reason, trying to build up your anticipation. Safe to say it’s working. Heart hammering against your ribcage, you inhale a shaky breath through your nose and wait. And wait. And wait.
…smack!
The first hit has you inhaling sharply, fingers digging into the bedsheet. He’s not going to hold back. He doesn’t even bother to soothe the sting like he usually does, instead he begins to speak.
“…I care a lot about you. You know that, right?” When you don’t respond he lands another harsh smack.
“Agh-! Yes!”
“I’m glad, but I have to admit sweetheart, I’m a little confused. If you know how much I care about you, how much I love you, then why would you go and do a stupid thing like that, huh?”
Smack!
Ignoring your whimper, he continues. “The only thing I can come up with is that you don’t care. I mean, if you did care then you wouldn’t have risked your life when you didn’t need to. When you could’ve asked for my help. When you could’ve waited for me like the good girl I know you can be.” He lands three consecutive smacks to your sensitive skin, alternating between both cheeks. Fuck, you’re so turned on right now. You need him bad, and it’s obvious he needs you. You can feel his boner pressing into your side even through the thickness of his suit, proof of how much your pained cries affect him.
“Honestly angel, I’m disappointed…”
His words sting almost as much as your butt, really hitting you where it hurts. Maybe it’s the daddy issues, but you don’t like disappointing him, you like making him proud! Okay, so maybe it was selfish to do the mission alone…
His words combined with the way he’s gently massaging your skin have you debating if you should apologize. Your stomach is churning with a mix of guilt and a regret. What if you had died? It would’ve hurt him so much, especially given how many people he’s already lost…
Matt senses the slight shift in your mood, figuring you’re finally starting to understand what he’s trying to say. He can’t lose you.
But he’s still angry, and you still haven’t been taught a lesson, so you’re in for a rough night. ���…you’re going to count every time I spank this pretty ass. You’re going to count, and you’re going to say you’re sorry.” He explains, as controlled as ever.
“And if I don’t?” You can’t help but snark, earning you a humorless chuckle.
“Then you aren’t going to cum.” The statement is followed by the crisp sound of his palm striking your bottom. Gritting your teeth, you try to ignore the pain blooming across your skin.
“One… sorry.”
He tsks. “Oh sweetheart, you can do better than that. If I didn’t know any better I’d say it sounds like you don’t mean it.”
“Yeah, that’s because I don’t.”
He smirks, confident in his next words. “That’s okay, you will soon enough...”
*****************************
You end up counting to twenty, each hit landing harder than the last. By the end of it you’re sure your ass is on fire, tears streaming down your face and pitiful whimpers escaping you. If it weren’t for Matt’s firm grip on you, you surely would’ve fallen off of his lap with how much you were twitching.
“There we go, that wasn’t so hard, was it baby?” Matt coos, thumb idly stroking your skin, enjoying the way he can feel the heat radiating off of your flesh. Shaking your head you mutter a pathetic “n-no!” having been worn down by your harsh punishment.
Matt hums thoughtfully, his fingers trailing down to prod at your opening. Your poor neglected pussy is dripping at this point, making a vulgar slick sound as he rubs up and down. His fingertips dip into your heat just enough to scoop out some more of your nectar, using it to rub slow circles against your clit.
“Ha-! Mmm…” You gasp, humming and eyes drooping as you finally get that pleasure you’ve been waiting for.
“Poor thing, need my cock so badly don’t you?” He coos.
You’re quick to nod your head, hope blossoming in your chest.
“Words.”
“Yes! Yes please!”
“Hmm…”
He’s careful in his movements, lifting you up off of him and standing, beginning to undo the zipper on his suit. Your eyes widen at the sight, quickly scrambling to lie on your back with your legs spread. It makes him chuckle.
“So eager, aren’t we?” He asks, pulling his dick out and giving it one long stroke. You can only manage to bite your lip and nod, said eagerness building. He steps closer, grabbing you by the thighs and pulling you to the edge of the bed. His member is resting between your pussy lips, providing you with some much needed stimulation as he slowly rolls his hips, grinding his head against your clit. You know better than to speak, not wanting to risk giving him another reason to deny you the dick that you crave so badly.
“Yeah, so fucking wet…” He whispers, seemingly to himself. “You like being punished that much?”
“Y-Yes…”
He pulls his hips back, his hand then coming down on your clit and sending a jolt of electricity through you.
“Ha~!”
“Tell me you want it.”
“I want it!”
He clicks his tongue, teasing your entrance with the tip.
“I don’t quite believe you, bug…” Disappointment coats his words, causing tears of frustration to well in your eyes. He’s being so mean!
“Please! Please Matty! Want your dick so bad!” Angling your hips you try to pull him in, but your efforts prove fruitless.
“Yeah? You want this?”
You gasp as he pushes forward, sheathing a mere inch inside of you. Your walls flutter once again, desperate to pull him deeper.
“Tell me you love me.”
“I love you!”
“Tell me you’re gonna be a good girl.”
“I’m gonna be a good g-girl~!”
You cry out, finally getting what you want. He groans, nice and low as he pushes in, opening you up for him and only him.
“Fuck…”
A mere moment later he’s pulling out until only the tip is left inside, then slamming his hips against the back of your thighs as he refills you, tearing a moan from the depths of your chest.
It doesn’t take long for your bedroom to reek of sex, the sound of skin slapping and raunchy moans filling the air. Matt lowers himself on top of you, his lips by your ear.
“God, such a good pussy… so fucking tight…”
You can only cry out in response, sweat beginning to soak your overheated body.
“Just a stupid little girl, thinking she knows best…” He growls angrily, giving you a particularly harsh thrust. Your hands grip onto his back for support, nails digging into the fibers of his suit as he fucks you.
“Oh god! Matt! Matty! Please! It’s so good~!”
“Yeah? You like how I’m fucking you? I know you do. Can feel your greedy little cunt sucking me in, milking my cock.” He’s breathless at this point, the pleasure in his gut beginning to build just as it is in yours. Your needy whimpers and wanton moans turn him on endlessly, bringing him that much closer to the edge. But he won’t cum, not when his lesson isn’t over yet.
“You gonna cum? Yeah?”
He snickers when you nod, clearly desperate.
“Awww, too bad. You’re not gonna cum until I feel you deserve it.”
You go to rub your clit in retaliation but he’s fast, grabbing your wrist and pinning it to the mattress beside your head.
“Ah-ah-ah… I don’t think so. You try that again and you won’t be cumming for a week.” You know from past experiences that he’s serious. His thrusts stall, his shaft buried so deep you can feel him in your throat. “Tell you what, you tell me you’re sorry, you mean it, and I’ll let you cum. Does that sound fair?”
Your answer tumbles out of your mouth before you can even process it, hazy mind begging for that orgasm that’s being dangled before you. “Yes-! Yes!”
“Good, then I suggest you get to it, because I’m not gonna last much longer.” He goads, resuming his quick pace. As soon as his hand wraps itself around your throat you’re babbling.
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry daddy! M’so sorry! Just wanted to make you proooud~!” Tears are streaming down your face at this point, the pleasure and guilt intertwining to form an addictive concoction.
“Aww, you wanted to make me proud?” He mocks, voice full of faux sympathy. Slowly rolling his hips, the head of his dick grinds against your cervix, rendering your mind gone. All you can focus on is him; the feeling of his hands on your body, the way his cock splits you in half, the grunts that resound in your ear…
Nodding, you whimper pitifully. “Yeah~!”
“But honey, why didn’t you just do what daddy said? You know daddy loves when you’re a good listener.” You can’t tell if the softness he’s showing you is genuine or not; if he’s making fun of you by cooing to you like you’re a child, or if he believes your words and is hoping to provide you some sense of comfort.
“Wanted to be a big girl! Wanted to be brave, and- and show you I could do it!”
He heaves a heavy sigh, pressing a kiss to the shell of your ear. “I know sweet girl, I know…”
All of a sudden he doubles down, bracing his hands against the mattress as he pounds the life force out of you.
“Come on sweetie, cum for me. Cum for daddy.” The sudden shift in his tone has your heart aching, your throat sore from whimpering and whining as you cling to him even tighter.
Mouth agape, you’re unable to do anything other than obey. With a silent scream that knot in your tummy snaps, causing your pussy to flutter around his cock.
“Ohhhh that’s it, fuck, y’make me so proud baby… such a good girl…” He huffs, moaning lowly into your ear as his release quickly follows yours, painting the walls of your cunt with his seed.
He stays inside, giving you one more pump of his hips in hopes of stuffing his semen deeper, claiming you as his. The both of you twitch from the aftermath of your orgasms, panting heavily as you come down from your highs.
Eventually he pulls out, removing his daredevil suit and heading to the bathroom. He returns a moment later with a wet washcloth and some lotion. Taking his time he gently cleans up the mess of your combined fluids in silence, smiling softly at the way you jolt and whimper at the sensitivity. Once you’re clean he rolls you over, carefully applying lotion to your sore bottom.
“…I really am sorry.” You whisper, swallowing nervously when you feel his hand pause. But you continue. “I wasn’t thinking, wasn’t careful, just wanted to prove I could do it.”
He sighs, setting the lotion aside and climbing into bed next to you.
“Sweetheart, you don’t have to prove yourself to me. I know you’re fully capable of doing things on your own, you’re a strong girl.” He reaches down and begins to massage your scalp, a vulnerable look on his face. “Strong, and brave, and smart… I just want you to be safe. I can’t bear the thought of losing you.”
Instead of responding verbally you climb into his lap, hugging him tightly and resting your head on his shoulder. He wraps his arms around you, holding you close to his chest and savoring the sound of your heartbeat. You’ve never been the best with words, with comforting people, so you hope your actions are able to make up for that.
“…my butt really hurts.”
A weak attempt at lightening the mood, but it works nonetheless. Matt chuckles, rubbing a hand up and down your back before pressing a kiss to your neck.
“I’m sorry, did I get too carried away?”
You think about it, wondering if he really did get carried away and you forgot to use your safe word, or if you’re just having confusing feelings post sex. You’ve always had difficulties with your emotions, and with noticing things until it’s too late.
“…I don’t think so. I probably should’ve said yellow, but I was too stuck in my head. I don’t think I do good with spankings unless you comfort me.” You explain earnestly.
Matt nods. “Good to know. Thank you for being honest. I should’ve checked in with you, I’m sorry about that.” Guilt laces his words, causing you to jump to assure him.
“It’s fine, I don’t really care.”
He sighs, recognizing the way you attempt to emotionally distance yourself in hopes of pleasing him. “Alright, but it would be fine if you did care too. You can get upset at me just like I can get upset at you… I still love you, and you still love me.” He softly reassures, taking on that borderline fatherly role you’re all too familiar with.
Internally hoping to avoid continuing the conversation regarding negative feelings, you decide to respond with:
“…I really liked when you called me a stupid little girl.”
*****************************
Later that night you’re curled up against Matt’s chest, watching the slow rise and fall of it as he sleeps. Sleeping never came easy to you, so it isn’t uncommon that Matt would fall asleep first. Your eyes scan his features as best as they can in the dark; making out the outline of his nose, the subtle definition on his chest, the bump of his shoulder. He’s pretty… you love him… you feel bad. Darn it, you feel bad. Yes you apologized, but you could’ve sounded more sincere, he poured his heart out to you and you responded like a middle schooler would. You’re tempted to wake him up so you can apologize properly, promise him that you won’t do anything stupid that could risk your life again, promise to in fact be more careful from now on. But that might upset him more. He had a rough night, he must be really tired, and—
“Why’re you still awake sweetheart?”
The familiar sound of his raspy, sleep filled voice sends your heart skipping, a small gasp slipping from between your lips.
“-! Oh, I uh, I’m just… thinking.”
He hums thoughtfully. “…’bout what?”
You subconsciously snuggle closer to him, your fingers absentmindedly playing with the hair on his broad chest. “…m’sorry.”
“Sweetheart, you already apologized–“
“But I’m really sorry!” You’re quick to cut him off, needing to get this off of your chest. “I shouldn’t have done it and then when you were talkin’ to me about it I didn’t know how to comfort you so I was sayin’ dumb stuff!”
He sighs at your ramble, reaching a hand up to rub at his sleepy eyes. “Angel it’s okay, I know you aren’t the best with stuff like that. I already forgave you.”
“…I promise to be more careful, and to listen better.”
Shaking his head affectionately, he kisses your forehead, knowing it’s best to just roll with it. “Thank you sweetie.”
“…you’re not mad?” You ask hesitantly, still feeling the need to get reassurance from him. You hate when he’s mad at you…
“No, no baby I promise, daddy’s not mad at you, it’s okay.” He soothes, knowing it’s exactly what you need to hear.
Authors note:
Hopefully tumblr doesn’t hide this fic 🙏 this was so hard guys, you have no idea. This is my longest fic yet and it was so annoying cause why is it so hard to keep writing instead of just ending it? Still, practice :p and yes I did end it shortly because I couldn’t take it anymore and I needed to post it :3
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ethereal-bumble-bee · 2 months
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GUESS WHO’S GETTING EVALUATED FOR AUTISM
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moe-broey · 8 months
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I had to take poor Lulu to the vet and I love how in part of Lulu's treatment/dispatch notes it says "Please keep Lulu quiet, rested, and inside for the next 7-10 days. There should be no running, jumping, or playing" as if I can realistically control any of these things except one (she's indoors by default) LIKE...... LULU PLEASE........... Lulu the doctor saiid you need to be on bedrest........... Lulu STOP TRYING TO CLIMB ON TAHT ‼️‼️‼️‼️ DON'T JUMP YPU ARE THE EQUIVALENT OF AN 80 YEAR OLD WOMAN WITH ARTHRITIS ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ PLEASE
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atiianeishaunted · 7 days
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blue writing is lance's notes fyi anyway uhh character bios below !! long ass writing warning but worth it i promise chat pspsp | no notes version AND the transparent PNGS down at the end!
character bios:
Allura [???] | A lone princess who is burnt out and stressed out her mind, her only solace/stress relief being the garden she has where she can have peace and quiet, shutting her brain off while she does the tasks of tending to her precious plants and bugs. She tries her best to remain as friendly and optimistic as possible, if not for her own sanity, however thanks to the stress and pressure put on her, she has a tendency to lose her cool and sometimes shut down entirely. She has a passion for commanding and loves honing her fighting skills as that was one of the ways she bonded with her father. She more often than not can be seen in comfortable clothes, she doesnt mind dresses and does enjoy dressing up but will only do it when shes going out the castle or theres a meeting. | this gal couldve been an burnt out autistic queen DREAMWORKS, YOU COUDLVE MADE HER ICONIC .... let her be a dorky nerd whos a hater sometimes, pretty please
Takashi Shirogane | A garrison commander (no one is really sure of his job title to be honest with you..) who's insanely passionate about his job, to the point where hes willing to sacrifice it all if the garrison wills it. Anything to serve. He tries his best to fit in and be hip with the kids, he tries to come across as the 'chill' teacher, but students of his have reported that after a few months, any amount of chillness is thrown out the window. If not that, hes often not even in class, too busy doing missions he wasnt assigned to. He's intense. Very intense. Knows his way around words though for the most part, can be very convincing and a bit maniuplative, very goal driven. He means well though? Thats what he says. He always throws a quick sorry if someone brings it up with him, so that must mean something. | sorry in advance if you follow along with Sonder's story... unrelated but dreamworks wrote a banger antagonist without even realizing!
"Keith" Kogane / "Morse" | Unknown origins. He was a talented garrison pilot who could practically fly with his eyes closed, a jack of all trades, short tempered and prone to losing it but all things considered, the perfect cadet for the garrison's goals, he came out of nowhere practically, just poofed in like a ghost and wiped the floor with everyone. He really just needed a good guiding hand. No one is quite sure what gender he is, his androgynous appearance and tendency to respond to anything besides being called a girl have people baffled to say the least. He's very clearly not all there in the head either which goes hand in hand with his odd bursts of ego and then odd bursts of whining, these bursts often include talks that could only be described as cult-ish. People have their theories. Beyond those bursts, hes mostly very deadpan and quiet. But despite his strength and that intense feeling of fear and dread people get when they're around him, he's.. popular, somehow. Admired greatly for his devilish good looks. A universal appeal if you will. He doesn't seem to notice. Or perhaps doesnt care. Either way he's far too busy following Shiro around and treating him like the second coming of god to really indulge in romance for now. Lance's self proclaimed rival, Keith is also unaware of this. | also sorry in advance for this one if you follow sonder's storyline Lance McClain | A former Garrison cargo pilot who moved up in rank when Keith got kicked out. Keith is his rival and also all that Lance can talk about, even after the guy got kicked out and left for dead (Lance overheard some things while sneaking out past the teacher's lounge). He has a very noticable personality and loves to be the center of attention, hes still finding his footing and figuring out what he wants to do with his life and who he wants to be. Despite his many claims, hes not all that popular. He can't really flirt with girls all too well. His general goal is to be so well known so he won't ever be forgotten, hence why he begged his mom to let him dye his hair and get piercings (if he used Keith as an argument, thats none of your business.) (he saw keith dying his hair once or twice and instantly wanted to copy, its a bad habit.). He loves LOVES taking care of his appearance and is fairly vain, he has extensive routines and will freak out if he can't follow them. His ego and overbearing confidence is all to drown out his deep insecurities and fears. He tries his best to come across as a suave, cool, charming, awesome, any positive adjective really, person but in all reality he's a mama's boy, a dork, a loser if you will who has a love for the retro and is a huge gamer. If he must admit, he and Keith'd get along great actually, Keith ticks alot of boxes and honestly Lance deeply admires him and wants to be like him. | dreamworks dropped that lance was a gamer and loved retro stuff and then never talked about it again. sigh. Hunk Garrett | Hunk has many passions, mainly inspired by parents, he mainly specializes in cooking and mechanics, he enjoys tinkering with things, taking them apart to see how they work and working from there to see if he can rebuild it with 0 instruction, hes gotten good at it. He's Lance's childhood best friend, they're extremely close and are often seen constantly poking fun at eachother. Its all in good fun though. Hunk struggles extremely with anxiety and has a service dog back home that he left at home when heading to the Garrison as he worried he couldn't take care of it while studying. Despite his anxiety, he quite enjoys talking to people and sharing things he enjoys with them, he often tries to get over his fears by branching out and | I looked up his name from the old show because he deserves an 'actual' name, free my boy, he was done so dirty, also i remember when we all thought hunk had two moms (or was that just me ..) and i live by it tbh, two moms and a dad whos still active in his life, 3 whole parents for the greatest fella ever
Pidge Holt | Not much can be said about Pidge, they keep to themselves and don't share much about themselves. Just like Keith, their gender is often up to debate and when asked, Pidge will never give a consistent answer. They're a major tech wiz and with their talents, they're a complete menace. Pidge is prone to being mischevious and pranking others, often taking jokes a bit too far. They're egotistical and find that robots are their preferred companions in comparison to humans. | loser chronically online 13 year old who would tell you to kys, matt probably has to take away their electronics all the time LMFAO purposely made their outfit look a bit strange bc , theyre a kid whos a NERD /aff let them dress a bit stupid and let them cringe at it 5 years later ty
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No notes version and PNGS below :-)
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im insane about this reboot!! please reblog and im willing to elaborate if anyone wants me to <333 hrgfhrfg i really want this to take off bwaa
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aidenlydia · 5 months
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hey ho!! the 09 simon sh anon here (what a weird title. anyways) first of all, thank you for replying! didn't know you hc simon as autistic, which makes him, in a way, even more relatable to me <33
i have another question, this time about simons and johnnys relationship. you mentioned that johnny helps simon cope, especially with his aggression / sh. do you have any specific headcanons how simon does that? do they have any specific rituals for when simon starts struggling? and also, the other way around, when johnny starts struggling with his OCD and depression?
cw: self-harm
Oh boy do I have a lot of thoughts about this. But first some definitions for those who are unfamiliar:
Autistic Meltdown - a intense response to overwhelming stress or dysregulation, leading to loss of control over behavior and difficulty calming down. Common signs include crying, yelling, rocking, pacing, dissociating, intense stimming and aggressive or self-injurious behavior (hitting, biting, kicking).
Shutdown - a form of meltdown where a person becomes extremely still, silent and withdrawn rather than outwardly aggressive.
Stimming - repetition of certain physical movements or vocalizations that autistic people use to calm themselves down or express their feelings.
Intrusive thoughts - unwanted thoughts that pop into one's mind without warning, at any time. They're often repetitive and can be disturbing or distressing.
Obsessions - intrusive thoughts that are hard to manage, get stuck in one's head and have a negative impact on daily life.
Compulsions - repetitive things one feels they have to do (mentally or physically) in order to reduce distress and anxiety caused by obsessions (to make things feel right again). One might know that it doesn't make sense to carry out a compulsion, but is unable to resist doing it.
I think the first step is being patient and not judging each other.
The way Ghost feels during and after a meltdown is complete loss of control, accompanied by shame. That's why SH is so easy to fall back to. It re-establishes some sense of control, which can be both a relief and a punishment at the same time.
Similarly with MacTavish, when his intrusive thoughts get the better of him and he starts spinning his wheels (getting stuck in compulsions and increasingly agitated) he knows he's both out of control and unable to stop it while probably being judged if witnessed.
It boils down to not being understood and feeling like everyone thinks you're crazy. Your self-esteem and sense of belonging take a massive hit. But having someone witness you at such a low point and support you through it, without thinking less of you afterwards, already makes a huge difference.
I don't think MacTavish knows he has OCD, he's probably only aware of the stereotype (obsession with being clean and organized) and thinks of his own symptoms as "a weakness" he needs to hide and overcome by sheer willpower to be able to keep his job and the respect of his colleagues.
Ghost isn't blind to it, he notices a lot of MacTavish's quirks and insecurities that others don't. He takes them seriously, wants to understand and help.
Part of MacTavish's depression is connected to his OCD - it makes him very anxious and tired. If anything goes wrong his depressed mind will find a way to blame himself and his compulsions get worse in response to his new intrusive thoughts/obsessions. Anything can become an obsession and the excessive misery caused by it makes him feel even more depressed. And on it goes.
At first Ghost falls into the trap of wanting to help and relieve MacTavish of some of his distress by accommodating one or more of his compulsions - it seems to make him feel better. However the more you give into compulsions, the stronger they get and end up making the symptoms worse in the long run.
The key to truly support MacTavish is to help him resist his compulsions. Ghost learns firsthand that endorsing the behaviors does more harm than good, including giving reassurance, which is a common symptom of OCD (and the most heartbreaking for both parties. It feels like a rejection to MacTavish and Ghost feels so mean for doing it, but it is for MacTavish's own good).
You can read more about it here: If You Love Someone With OCD, You May Need to Stop Reassuring Them That Everything Is OK
Of course Ghost can still validate his feelings, recognizing how upset it makes MacTavish and remind him to be patient and compassionate with himself while also staying consistent in his encouragement to keep resisting. Instead of trying to make the distress go away, Ghost helps him to accept it and ride it out together. Sometimes while in the thick of it they resort to distraction (doing something else to take his mind off it, which isn't exactly the best go-to coping skill) and physical affection (for emotional support). During a crisis situation Ghost will usually fold and let him give into a compulsion, he still has to learn how to deal with those.
Another thing that helps MacTavish a lot is when Ghost starts telling him about some of his own intrusive thoughts (everyone can have them). It makes him feel less alone/more normal, helps him open up more about his worries and reaffirms his belief that Ghost doesn't think he's crazy or a bad person. Remember, he doesn't know he has OCD yet.
I'm not sure Ghost would know or even suspect he has Autism either, autistic afab kids don't fit the "typical" stereotype and are often overlooked. He probably got called weird and off-putting his entire life, as well as being bullied without even realizing it. He only knows he isn't like the others and prefers to be alone because everyone understands the world and communication in a way he just doesn't.
He embraces his weirdness instead of hiding it, doesn't care if people think his mask is corny or that they should keep their distance from a freak like him. He's tired of not being understood, so he isolates himself and doesn't try to change anyone's mind anymore.
Nobody really gets him until MacTavish. He tends to leave a negative first impression; being perceived as rude, aggressive and disrespectful because of missed social cues. His meltdowns are mistaken for childish tantrums or manipulation. MacTavish can tell he's definitely odd, but he appreciates Ghost's straightforwardness and blunt honesty instead of being offended by it. Ghost responds well to MacTavish because he needs very clear and direct communication without it being condescending and patronizing, which MacTavish is naturally very good at. No mind games, no reading between the lines.
It's also why Ghost doesn't mind taking his mask off in front of him, not only does he trust MacTavish enough to be vulnerable, but he doesn't fear being off-putting or having his facial expressions (or lack thereof) misunderstood. They are similar in that regard, MacTavish has resting angry face and is often mistaken as aggressive, intimidating or confrontational because of it. Ghost sees there's a much more sensitive and thoughtful man underneath the hard exterior.
MacTavish doesn't have much experience with meltdowns, but can tell Ghost isn't escalating on purpose. It starts with Ghost showing signs of anxiety - pacing, rocking or becoming very still and quiet. He tries to calm himself down by fidgeting/stimming, bouncing his leg, grinding his teeth or biting at his lip. Sometimes he will ask repetitive questions, seeking reassurance, or become increasingly nonverbal. He is easily frustrated and has difficulty communicating or expressing himself clearly.
Meltdowns can be triggered by many things at once, a mix of distress intolerance, emotional regulation issues and sensory overloads. Meaning lack of sleep, stress, too many unexpressed emotions, change in routine/big life changes, too much noise, being touched too much, bright lights (that's why he wears sunglasses), too much smell, not getting enough air, ect. It can be completely overwhelming.
MacTavish responds by staying calm and quiet, not talking over Ghost and moving slowly. Any additional stimulus makes the overload worse. He gives Ghost space, doesn't touch him without permission and never punishes him for "losing it" during his meltdown or afterwards. He gets Ghost into a safe, quiet room or place until it's over. Things that help Ghost calm down is silence, a cold compress on his forehead, noise canceling headphones, laying down with the lights out and MacTavish's entire weight laid on top of him or something cold to drink.
After meltdowns Ghost feels exhausted and either needs some time alone to recharge or becomes very clingy for a while. He often doesn't remember what exactly happened and is very self-critical, but MacTavish won't allow him to be ashamed of himself or engage in his typical SH behavior, opting for calming affection and distraction instead.
If Ghost's urge to SH is coming from a place of anger they tear paper in little pieces together, go for a run or exercise. If it's from sadness they hold each other, listen to music, let MacTavish massage him or get out into nature. If it's from feeling numb, he's allowed to flick an elastic band on his wrists or hold ice cubes.
To prevent a meltdown or SH the trigger needs to be recognized early enough to be either removed in time or given a coping strategy. They develop a code sign for Ghost to use when he feels unstable, so MacTavish can help him regulate or get him away to somewhere quiet where they can properly communicate. The more Ghost trusts him, the easier it is for Ghost to communicate and disclose his distress. When Ghost becomes nonverbal they either write or speak in sign language to navigate the situation.
After leaving the military they struggle more with their relationship and gain a deeper understanding of each other by finally getting diagnosed. They end up going to therapy together where they learn how to properly manage MacTavish's compulsions and get him treatment for depression. They develop relationship strategies and identify Ghost's meltdown and SH triggers as well.
I think this is a good place to stop for now. Perhaps one day I'll get into my DID Ghost headcanon/ideas, but my fingers hurt from typing so it will have to wait lmao
This is a continuation from a previous post
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luna0713hunter · 11 months
Note
Can you do an established relationship Zoro or Sanji x autistic reader? If you don't want to thats totally fine, I just don't know if there's any out there and I NEED one so bad.
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Author's note : hello darling!!so about this request,i must say i had to ggl up everything so i really apologize in advance if this doesnt turn out the way you wanted it to be!and also,its gonna be Zoro x reader cause i dont write for Sanji. Hope you enjoy it!!
Where the light goes
Zoro Roronoa x autistic!reader
Summary : having autism was never easy. Ever since you were small, you've been struggling with this disorder. But growing up,you learn from the man you love that its not something to be ashamed of
Warnings : none i think,reader has autism,gender neutral,hurt/comfort, insecurities,panic attacks and such,mention of eating habits,fluff and happy ending
*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘
The streets were awfully busy today.
As you walk alongside your crewmates,you hug your bag close to your chest and try to make yourself impossibly small.
There were so many people. Too many loud voices. Everything was too much
And when someone bumps his shoulder to yours for the third time that day,you swallow down the lump in your throat;this was exactly why you always chose to stay back in the ship , where there would be no loud voices or people around. So when Luffy suggested that all of the crew go out for lunch and give Sanji some well-deserved break,you had no choice but to comply.
And gods above,how much you regretted that decision.
Ever since you were small,you had trouble with crowded places; being diagnosed with autism when you were only 4 years old,had turned your world upside down. Playing with other kids,being called weird and other humiliating names,and not being able to walk the streets in daylight without breaking down into a full panic attack,were only a few problems you'd to deal with daily.
Your life felt short, cramped and suffocating. The way your parents would fuss over you when you did the smallest things had you crazy. So when one faithful night,you stumbled upon the StrawHats, you gave yourself a chance to live. The best decision of your whole life, specially since joining them,you immediately fell head over heels for your crewmate.
"hey,you alright?"
The same man who always seemed to know exactly how you felt.
You swallow around the lump in your throat and nod.
"y-yeah. Thank you."
Zoro stares at you in the way that you know he doesnt believe you. You try to give him a wobbly smile but it only makes his lips pull down into a frown.
He leans down,and talks in a hushed voice so its only you who hear him.
"wanna ditch lunch?we can go back to the ship."
You glance nervously at your loud crewmates and look back at your green hair crush.
"are you sure?"
"i wasn't a fan of the whole idea of 'eating out' anyways," he says with a shrug and folds his arms against his chest, "I'll gladly ditch it to go back."
You give him another smile,brighter this time and giggle.
"you just want to go back so you can drink."
"your point being?"
And when Zoro informs everyone that the two of you will head back to the ship,they oddly enough let you go.
Once you step inside the ship and the quiet hits you,you let out a sigh of relief;you were finally home and away from the busy street.
You sit yourself against the back of the ship,where Nami's tangerine trees give you some peace of mind. the feeling is so relaxing,that you dont even notice that Zoro has arrived to where you're sitting. He clears his throat and knocks on the wooden wall to get your attention;to which you sluggishly turn your head to. He raises his brow at you and jerks his head toward the front of the ship.
"you're not hungry?"
You shake your head;your eyelids oddly heavy.
"no,not really."
"your eating habits acting up again?"
"maybe," you smile bitterly,and start to chew on your nail, "today was...a bit too much.to be honest, I'm kinda sleepy ."
To that, Zoro nods and after that,doesnt say anything. He just...stands there,and stares so intently that has you chewing on your nails harder.
Was he disgusted?was there anything wrong?did you offend him in any way??
You could've never read people's emotions,and the emotionally constipated Zoro?
It was an impossibly task.
Just when your thoughts were getting out of hands,a heavy weight suddenly drops on your lap.
The action has you jumping a bit and you let out a surprised squeak.
"Z-Zoro?what are you doing?"
"what does it look like?" He grumbles and opens one eye to stare up at you, "I'm taking a nap."
Your eyes soften at his answer,and tentatively,your fingers start to comb through his soft locks.
And when he lets out a satisfied groan at your action,you swear you'd died and went to heaven.
"aren't you hungry?"
"no. Just sleepy."
You smile and nod your head understandingly.
"then sleep."
Zoro slowly shifts,until his face is buried in your stomach and you can feel his hot breath through your thin shirt when he speaks next.
"tell me next time,when you're not feeling well."
Your heart warms,and you lower your head to drop a loving kiss on his hair.
"will do. Thank you."
When Zoro dozes off in your lap,you own eyes watch him for few more minutes before you're falling asleep yourself as well.
And when the crew comes back later that day,for once in their lives,they decide to keep it down and not wake you up.
*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘P.S : Zoro doesn't eat or sleep unless you do so as well :) i hope you liked it,dont forget to leave comment
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thissortofsorcery · 1 year
Text
@intothedysphoria has inspired me to write about autistic!harringrove, and my own experiences with autism... Max, this is for you! I hope you like it!
tw for anxiety and sensory overwhelm, but it ends fluffy, I promise.
---
It started as a normal day, but it quickly derailed from there.
An asshole at work approached Billy from behind and clapped his hand around the nape of his neck, despite Billy having told him several times he didn’t like that.
Billy didn’t like being touched at all, by most people. And some people had no concept of personal space.
A horrible, painful shiver cut through his spine, icy cold and almost slimy, and Billy held back a shudder. He broke out in goosebumps, and only years and years of practice, of putting on the charm let him pull away from the dickhead graciously, laugh at whatever he said and keep himself together until he could hide away in a bathroom stall.
Billy presses his fingers to his closed eyes hard, seeing stars, and rubs the back of his neck vigorously, trying to replace that cold shiver with something else. Tears spring to his eyes, and he feels so fucking frustrated.
Finding out you’re autistic in your twenties is an experience. A lot of things start making sense, and a lot of things you pushed down and convinced yourself weren’t a problem spring back up like a jack-in-the-box, a hundred times worse.
Like the touch thing. It’s not that Billy doesn’t like being touched. He just doesn’t like being touched by people he doesn’t know, and for no reason.
Like, his physical therapist, when she was helping him regain dexterity in his hands after Starcourt, that was fine.
Some dude in the office touching his neck, even casually, not so much.
Billy takes a deep breath, tries to remember the self-care workbook he and Steve filled out together a couple months ago. Tries to calm down.
Three ways I can distract myself when someone touches me, he’d written, glancing back up at Steve with a smile. Happy they were doing it together.
Loud music + puzzle
Hot drink
Yelling
Steve laughed and shook his head (“it’s very you”) when Billy wrote down the last one, but it really did help.
Billy gives himself a few more moments in the stall before he slinks out, heading to the sinks and splashing cold water on his face. The sensory shock helps a little, the cool, pleasant feeling helping balance the sensation of something crawling under his skin.
He checks if the break room is empty before he goes in, and it thankfully is. He doesn’t want to run into anyone. Doesn’t think he has it in him to mask right now.
Billy makes himself a mug full of scalding hot coffee and hurries back to his office, avoiding eye contact with anyone who throws out a hello. So what if they think he’s angry. Maybe he is pissed.
He manages to spend the rest of the day locked in his office, headphones on, and only comes out when it’s time to go home.
Of course, all he wants is to see Steve, wants his comforting presence, even if they’ve been dating only three months. When he walks through the door of Steve’s house, he sees Steve sitting on the couch, feet up on the coffee table, wearing his ugly vomit green socks with raccoons on them, that he’s had since he was 15 and won’t get rid of.
A wave of relief crashes through him, nearly leaving him dizzy. He breathes deep, catches the smell of his clean house, laundry, and Steve.
“Hey baby,” Steve calls, laying his head on the back of the couch to look at him, making his glasses just a little bit crooked. “Bad day?”
“Does my face look that terrible?” Billy grumbles, taking his shoes off at the entryway before he steps into the living room.
“Your headphones are around your neck,” Steve points to them, a smile ticking up the corner of his mouth.
Oh. Billy forgot to put them away. He doesn’t need them in the car.
He sighs and throws himself down next to Steve, a careful, deliberate distance away.
“I’m just ‘whelmed,” Billy mumbles.
“Overwhelmed?”
“Not anymore. Just whelmed,” He says, sighing again. His body sags, melting against the cushions. He doesn’t feel shivery anymore, but he feels tired, like he’s on the bad end of an all-nighter.
Steve puts his hand on the cushion between them, palm up, not touching Billy.
Billy takes a deep breath, watching Steve’s hand. He knows that hand intimately, knows it to be warm and soft and kind, knows how its skin feels against Billy’s, the friction making the shivers good instead of bad.
He puts a tentative fingertip on Steve’s pointer finger, and all Steve does is press back, smiling gently.
Billy slides his fingers in between Steve’s, laces them together, holds his hand palm to palm, and feels the touch of his skin like they’re buzzing together.
Billy knows he can change his mind, and all Steve’s gonna do is smile, sit on his side of the couch, and continue the conversation.
“How’s that book you were working on going?” Steve asks. He rubs his thumb over the back of Billy’s hand once, and stops. When Billy squeezes his hand, he resumes the movement, sending pleasant tingles up Billy’s arm.
“Good. The writer was receptive to what I said. They sent me a couple reworked chapters today,” Billy says, moving closer to Steve, so their arms press together.
As the conversation goes on, Billy presses closer and closer, at his own pace, and Steve accepts it crumb by crumb.
He doesn’t know what he did to deserve Steve, or how Steve is so patient with him. Steve loves physical contact. Billy does, too, but he’s so particular about it that sometimes he wonders if he’s even worth sticking around for.
Billy ends up lying on top of Steve, chest to chest, nose tucked into his throat, breathing in his warmth and his scent.
“Don’t touch my neck, okay?” He asks, hunching his shoulders a little.
“Yeah, okay,” Steve says, easy as that. “Can I touch your hair?”
“Yeah.”
Steve turns his head and kisses Billy’s head, right on the hairline, pulling a deep, content sigh from him.
“Thanks, Stevie,” Billy says, squeezing his ribs just a little tighter. “For doing this for me. Being patient.”
Steve looks down at him, frowning slightly.
“‘Course. You shouldn’t— You don’t have to thank me,” He says, earnest. “It’s not a chore, Billy. You’re not…” He licks his lips, trying to think. When he looks at Billy, it's like he's telling him a secret. “You make me happy. All of you.”
Billy’s smile is wide, stretching his full lips and showing his teeth, and Billy only drops it so he can kiss Steve.
They keep it chaste, an unhurried, soft press of lips, enjoying their intimacy and their closeness and their familiarity. Simple as it is, it's one of the best kisses he's had. Steve's the best person he's ever met.
When Steve touches him, he feels safe. Billy wants to keep him.
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cowboycherry · 1 year
Text
☆ || pain in my teeth!
summary! // tasm! peter parker x autistic! reader who has some very prominent and unfortunate sensory issues regarding a certain super suit.
inclusions/warnings! // gender of reader is not specified. reader’s sensory issues make their teeth hurt to a point where they have to use a stimulation (in the form of a rubber straw) to make it better, peter feels guilty about it which then causes reader’s empathy sensitivity to spike, reader says i love you and peter says it back, i don’t know how to end a fluffy blurb!! <3 no use of ‘y/n’ but uses of baby, sweetheart (for reader) and pete, petey (for peter) i wrote this based on my personal experiences with autism, so it may not be something that every person experiences!
not proofread! // please let me know if there are any mistakes/things that i should work on! and my inbox is open for any requests, or just a chat!
possession! // all of my work is my own. do not copy, translate, or repost any of my writing.
word count! // 700+
enjoy my lovelies! <3
。 ♡ 。  ♡。  ♡ {peter’s version}
peter honestly wasn’t sure what had happened to get to this point.
about 3 seconds ago you were fine, basking in his spider-man awesomeness and doting on him being the “coolest and best boyfriend ever!” and now you’re making a scrunchy face and uncomfortable noises.
because of his spider senses (but actually because he is the best boyfriend ever and knows what you’re feeling before you can even comprehend it), he jumps into action. as he moves closer to hold you and ask what’s wrong, what had suddenly changed to make you upset, you hold a hand up to stop him.
he frowns slightly, “are you okay? what happened, baby?” you shake your head in response.
“i’ve never felt your suit before.”
he completely stops, confused for a moment as to why that has anything to do with this and then it clicks. the texture.
you’ve always been super irritated by textures: velvet, corduroy, silks, and many many others. while you aren’t quite sure what horrendous type of spandex fabric peter’s blue and red superhero costume was made out of, you know that it hurts. badly.
“just made my teeth hurt really bad, ‘s okay, though. ‘m okay now, pete.” you try to smile widely at him to let him know that it’s fine but you cringe and purse your lips again as you watch him as he removes the suit hurriedly, ridding the thing causing you to not touch him.
“no! i, ugh! i should’ve thought about it and let you feel the suit a little bit first before i hugged you like that, sweetheart, i’m sorry.”
you shake your head fervently, mumbling assurances that it’s fine as you begin to bite onto the silicone straw in your cup to reduce the aching of your teeth. “really it’s fine! it just… threw me off. y’know how i am, pete. but it’s better now! my teeth aren’t even hurting anymore!” they definitely were, but you can’t stand to see him feel so guilty about something that isn’t his fault.
he throws a t-shirt over his head (one that he knows you never have a problem with) and he strides towards the bed. “i still feel bad, though. ‘specially ‘cause i know you well enough to know that they’re still hurting.” he grumbles as he lays next to you, covering his face with a pillow.
you reach behind you, still chewing on your straw, to rub a hand across his stomach. “really ‘s okay, peter! i’ll be fine in a minute. just please don’t feel bad.” your voice sounds a little strained with worry and that makes him feel even worse knowing that he’s affecting your empathy sensitivity as well.
“okay. okay, it’s fine. you’re okay. can i touch you, please?” his voice is dulcet as he whispers to you. you nod, humming in relief when you feel his hands settle on your hips.
your teeth finally rid of their ache after a few more minutes, and you turn to peter with a frown on your face. “no, no baby, why that face?” he pouts, rushing his hands to cover your cheeks and try to rub the frown away.
you mimic his pout, mumbling through his palms, “oou wor ‘sposed to tae me to swang frew da cidy!”
he giggles and removes his hands, “one more time?”
you crack a little smile, still frowning slightly.
“you were supposed to take me to swing through the city, petey! and now you can’t because ‘m sensitive!” you throw yourself dramatically onto the bed with a wail.
“oh.” he pauses for a minute as he turns to face you. “well, we could… go without my suit? like to somewhere where there aren’t many people or we could go at night! or! i could just wear the mask, then you don’t have to touch the whole suit!”
your heart swells at the boy in front of you. he’s so so sweet and you know that he’d do anything for you, and you would do the same for him.
“i think that sounds really nice, peter. i love you, by the way. thanks for always putting up with me.” you snuggle into his warmth, wrapping you fingers into his hair as you kiss little pecks onto his skin.
“yeah, ‘f course, baby.” you can hear his grin through your kisses. “i love you too.”
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minniiaa · 6 months
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another lawlu hc related to that: law has sensory issues with eating sometimes because of his autism and it makes him internally scream and go to an empty room to cry. luffy realizes law has been giving him too much of his food recently. after finding out why, luffy gives him all the comfort and love he deserves and it causes law to eat a little more 🥹💜 (this sadly happens to me in real life as an autistic person. I NEED A SPOUSE LIKE LUFFY AAAAAH)
Yes! This is actually so sweet. Law's autism could totally explain his very particular eating habits. You inspired me to write the below headcanon based on this. I have had people in my life who are autistic but I do have it myself so I hope I could do the experience justice in the context of Law and his personality. I just love the idea of Luffy finding out and making sure Law gets whatever he needs because he's the best partner anyone could ask for <3
Law is very self-conscious when it comes to his eating habits, as he is with most of his peculiarities and it's nearly impossible for him to bring himself to ask to be accommodated when others are cooking even though he knows people will do so even when he doesn't tell them why. He accidentally blurted out that he doesn't like bread and ever since then Sanji has always made him his own special dish whenever he is serving bread dishes to the others. He appreciates Sanji's understanding but he feels like a burden for making him create something entirely different just for him.
Law's food preferences don't just end with bread though, and he can't just refuse to eat what he's being served, that would be rude. Luckily, he has a very hungry partner who is always eyeing up his plate for scraps so he can generally just give him the things he doesn't like but recently it's been getting worse to the point that Law is barely eating because his sensory issues have become overwhelming.
Law thinks he's pretty slick but Luffy knows him better than he knows himself most of the time and one day, he confronts him. Luffy asks Law if he's okay and why he hasn't been eating virtually any of his food recently. He tries to play it off by saying he just hasn't been hungry but Luffy calls out the fact that his stomach has been growling and he's clearly hungry. He demands Law to tell him what's going on and if he's sick, he'll figure out how to make him better. Law, knowing he can't get out of this without telling Luffy the truth, explains that he has a condition where specific food textures make him feel extremely uncomfortable and he can't eat them without feeling like he's going to either throw up or explode.
Much to Law's relief, Luffy immediately understands. "That's okay, everyone is different, Torao! You should have told me before so I can make sure you get all the yummy food you like! Now, tell me all the things that make you feel gross and I'll make sure you never have to eat them again. Food is the best thing in the world and you need to eat so you can be nice and strong!" he says and Law has to hold back his tears. He's been struggling with this for so long and he's always been afraid to tell people because he doesn't want them to judge him and just assume he's annoying when he can't help it.
He's not sure why he didn't just tell Luffy this before, he's not the best at expressing himself. Emotions and connecting with others are hard for him. He's already so much of a burden on Luffy as it is even though Luffy constantly reassures him that he loves him, he's never a burden, and he just wants him to be happy.
After that day, Luffy makes sure that Law's plate never has anything he doesn't like on it. If anyone dares to call Law 'picky' he yells at them and advises that Law is artistic (Law has corrected him and told him it's autistic but he doesn't seem to listen) and he can't help it and that he'll beat them up if they make fun of his Torao. Law wonders every single day what he did to deserve such a loving and understanding partner who goes out of his way to make Law's life easier in whatever way he can.
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I Will Write A Fic For You If You Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund!
I came across the super cool organization Fandom Trumps Hate just recently (as of this post actually), and unfortunately I learned of its existence too late to apply to be one of the writers for this year. Since I don't want to wait a whole year to do some good with my love of writing, I'm holding my own little auction! Let's use that autistic special interest for good!
How Much I Will Write: 1K-5K words (if I end up writing more, well, yay for the lucky auction winner I guess, but that's what I'm willing to commit to)
What Fandoms I Will Write For: Baldur's Gate 3, The Dragon Prince, Good Omens, Avatar: The Last Airbender, and Loki (just... the character. I will write so many things involving that character)
What I Will (and Will Not) Write: Character x Character, Character x reader, Character x OC even if you can give me enough about your OC, are all good! Not into shipping? No worries! I love the platonic and I can even just write a character study or a songfic. I am willing to write up to M rating for this, so some spicy stuff, but not pure smut. Any of the Main Warning Tags on AO3, save Major Character Death (gotta love that angst), are off limits. If you are worried that I can't write your idea before you want to bid, go ahead and shoot me a message before you bid and I'll let you know! You can also check out my pinned post for my masterlist of past fics. I have written all the examples I have given as requests before.
How to Bid: Place the dollar amount (in US $) of your bid in the replies of this post! The bidding period begins at the time of posting, March 3 2024 12pm ESR and ends March 10th 2024 2pm EST.
What Happens If You Win: When the bidding closes I will message the top bidder from this account here on tumblr. From there, you have 48 hours to send proof of your donation. I'm giving myself a deadline of a month to have your fic ready for you.
If the winner does not send proof of donation before the time period is up, I will contact the first runner up.
Additionally, I will match the winning bid in my own donation up to $100
AND A FINAL WARNING
The purpose of this endeavor is for fun fic writing and most importantly, doing a little bit of good for the Palestinian people. Any bigotry done on this post will result in the perpetrator being blocked and disqualified from receiving a fanfic.
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Note
I wanna do more kabumisu positivity following that other anon. it really brightened my day so much.
bc really I dont want to bash other ships to lift mine up!!! and I actually also really love and respect labru, and know the majority of labru shippers arent Like That, just like most kabumisu shippers arent Like That. every group has some annoying, loud, opinionated people and they dont represent the average person who likes the ship, you know? I would love to see some labrus follow suit and send in some positivity as well!!! If the positivity keeps going I will come in here and post all my fave things about labru, labru art, and labru shippers as a kabumisu. lets ditch the bitching and hold hands instead!
anyway, some reasons I really love kabumisu
- as a neurodivergent disabled person dating another neurodivergent person, this is like. THE couple to me. and like its not just about mithrun being taken care of. taking care of mithrun actively helps kabru be more mindful of his own needs. In my life, I may struggle to feed myself, but I can make breakfast if my partner is hungry. other times she may do the same for me, it depends on who is doing worse.
-they both struggle with insomnia also
-from everything we've seen, pre-dungeon mithrun wasn't entirely dissimilar to kabru (high masking people pleaser) and thats Fascinating to me.
-kabru's job seems pretty stressful (no matter how much fulfillment it brings him, its a lot of responsibility for one person!) so I feel like coming home to that one guy he can take his mask off around and not even have to try and impress must be such a huge relief. also add mithrun with cooking experience to this, making kabru a nice meal after a long day of work.
-Mithrun is actually very perceptive and sees straight through kabru's bs multiple times and doesn't hesitate to call him out. Laios isnt the only character that forces kabru to be honest. ("unless theres someone else?" "theres someone you want to tell that story to.") mithrun is also the one who gives kabru the information he's been seeking this whole time.
-I am very interested in exploring mithruns whole desire situation. what desires does he gain? I think it is probably a lot of little ones that weave together. oh also I think sometimes things may seem more mithrun centric bc in any story where he is going to end up in a relationship he is going to have a much more dynamic arc than whoever he is paired with. literally dynamic as in like. he requires a lot more growth to achieve the outcome. and there are ways to skip it or gloss through it but. a lot of these stories require that in some way you show the progress has happened.
-to me, kabumisu is more often queeplatonic than romantic. but Im aroace so that could just be my aroace glasses. ALSO kabru is vaguely aro to me. you mean the guy thats super desirable that doesnt really seem interested in anyone particular outside of pursuing friendship? that guy? (also the way he did rin omfg)
-random but I dont think kabrus PTSD is talked about enough and also like the extent of his trauma. its not just utaya/monsters/his mom dying; its being raised by a single mother, its his blue eyes, its being adopted, its being raised by an elf, etc!!!! a lot of things he does bc of ptsd get attributed to autism (I also hc kabru as autistic, and some is symptom overlap. but it is secondary to the ptsd! he is traumatized first and foremost ty) I really love kabru so much. ty for the ptsd rep <3
-also out here to say I know an amount of kabumisu content is mithrun centric. I will tell you from my pov specifically though its bc I deeply relate to mithrun (as someone who once told a therapist many years ago I desired nothing and truly meant it. she said I was like a puppet without strings. of course I saw mithrun and was like. oh.) and Im in love with kabru. kabru reminds me of all the people who gave me a reason to pull through. people who saw good in me and treated me like a person when I didnt feel like one. I also really relate to kabru though as someone with complex trauma, even if my traumas are not the same. thats why I say I think not enough is attributed to his ptsd. anyway, once I just opened a notebook and wrote kabrus name over and over again with hearts. I have never done this to mithrun. so dont tell me kabumisus dont like kabru !!!
-kabru and mithrun are both so gender. Ive seen so many variants on their gender and gender expression in the ship. some people hate this and insist they must be one way or the other. I think theyre neat lots of different ways. I love when theyre both feminine men. I love when mithrun is super masc. I love when theyre butch4butch. I love when theyre both trans. and so much more. its all beautiful. a very good variety of food. the other day on my dash I had a tallman art of mithrun with the biggest tits imaginable and the very next post he was like a little porcelain doll. keep up the good work guys. I love you.
.
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focusfixated · 13 days
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in my quest to archive old fandom works i have been peeling through old livejournal entries to find links to fics and fanart, and i came across this entry dated july 2007, when i travelled way out of town to meet some fandom friends:
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the reminder struck me that i used to refer to my anxiety disorder as "my adrenaline", because i had no knowledge at the time that it was a disorder, or what being anxious even was, except a word that came up in the thesaurus next to "nervous" or sometimes "keen".
all i had was the experience of what felt like high levels of adrenaline pumping, needlessly, around my body. i would notice the tight stomach, the tight chest, the way my fingers would go cold. i knew what an adrenaline rush felt like, so i called my anxiety the same thing. a big burst of adrenaline that made me feel shaky and strange.
it's interesting to me. because i don't think i necessarily saw it at the time as something connected to psychological or mental health. by not having the language to describe it as a disorder, i simply made a pretty bang-on assessment of understanding what was happening in my body - an excess of adrenaline that would sometimes "go fucking crazy", that i was aware of and simply had to live with.
i guess my observations from this are twofold:
this is, demonstrably, evidence for the concept that we do not have "more" people with various disorders these days, but that the language to describe the disorders that had already manifested has evolved, and both become standardised enough to be a recognisable descriptor, and also nuanced enough to cover a range of experiences.
there was certainly an interim period when i discovered i had an anxiety disorder, where the ability to label it as such and both seek support from other people and allow grace for myself was an incredible relief and extremely useful. however, i do often think about the sentiment outlined in this post, as below:
depathologizing your own responses to things means no longer worrying about which symptom matches which diagnosis matches which branded treatment model and instead practicing gentle non-judgmental curiosity about what you’re going through
that is, having gone through the labelling phase (for multiple things, "becoming" - i.e. finding the language to describe myself as - neurodivergent, autistic, nonbinary, genderqueer, a person with anxiety), i feel like the end result of leaning on the label as an explanation for what i'm experiencing is no more practically useful than simply describing how it felt.
saying now, "the reason i find this difficult is because i have an anxiety disorder", while comforting initially, can kind of engender a give-up response. whereas, "my adrenaline is off the fucking charts right now" also asks, "well, why? can you do the task anyway? do you need a sit-down first? maybe we can try again later."
(to be clear: these are personal observations and not universal statements about anyone else's experiences at all. i think there are mixed positives and negatives around these concepts, and it's more an observation of being subject to the changing trajectories of science, language and culture, rather than really trying to discover the correct practice.)
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stupendousghostswan · 2 months
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EDIT : I leant of the ship they pushed upon the fans. I am not laughing anymore. FUCK CANON. Arf, I really think it but will need some time. Emotions are high. (respect to their shippers. Ship and let ship. It's that they pulled it in canon like that that bothers me.)
Gonna be honest : that tua has such a bad ending is a relief in a way. It really finally not just takes the show down from its pedestal but burries it deeeeep down. And it makes it so much easier to say "fuck canon". I was stressed before this s4 , if it was good I would have struggled with saying fuck canon and dare to finally post things. Cause it means that I would have faced backlash and had to potentially face pple and get into arguments. Which with my social anxiety and extreme fatigue I just didn't feel like doing. Maybe it's a poor excuse to some but I struggle a lot with social interactions...
Now I just don't care. (I am sorry though for the people that still really cared about the show. For me this show sinked in s2. It fell out of its pedestal back then for me x). So I made my peace with the disappointment... mostly.)
And... I've been eating at myself since I fell into Fiveya/Vanya and it became my main special interest -which any other autistic I think will understand what being THE special interest means.-. I was struggling, terrified of potential backlash and thinking I'd never get to post and share anything, also that this side of the fandom was dead or dormant forever and would always stay so. I felt very alone, I really felt like I couldn't share, due to the fear of backlash. I couldn't even bring myself to try to give a bit to the fandom myself. (I know a big big big part of it was my own imposed limitations. Also I could have maybe dmed the pple I guessed where still in this ship, etc. But I have very bad social anxiety and extreme fatigue and other things so I can't fight the very bad social anxiety for this on top of... dealing with the rest of my life.)
But now I feel such relief and freedom suddenly. I care but also I don't... idk.
So me laughing at this shit ending - as I've been doing for a few hours now - is half a laugh of relief and... bc seriously to beat both GOT and supernatural?!
Now I am not saying I am actually gonna post anything anytime soon. I am excited and under lots of endorphins and dopamine here. But my social anxiety and lack of confidence might catch up very soon 🙈 (spoiler: THEY DID). Plus, I still find my ideas pretty uninteresting and still struggle to finish stuff and struggles a lot with confidence sooo... (and still scared of backlash).
ok also sorry but not posting this on main. I don't have this courage. This is a side account (not side blog, but full on account. I set it up months ago, waiting to either become brave or for the general fandom to die.)
I am already feeling anxiety coming back and itching to write a 3 thousand words disclaimer and explanation of certain things 😭 So i will force myself to do it quickly : I love Viktor (and fiktor) but also love fiveya and Vanya. For me they are separate paper dolls. When taking the Viktor paper doll, that is a trans man, it means obviously taking the trans experience. aka he was always there, etc. But the "existence" of his doll for me doesn't negate the "existence" of the Vanya doll. They don't really exist. It's fiction. Purely fiction. It's not one real person. The Vanya doll was used then they decided to create and use the Viktor doll.
Ok I stop there. I do not come back to edit. I do not come back to edit and/or delete. I post it and not let it lie in my drafts and have eternal regrets. Go on. Be brave. Be brave. Be brave.
(I have already spent at least two hours typing and editing before getting the courage to post it...)
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copperbadge · 1 year
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Hi Sam, how did you come to the conclusion you should be tested for neurodivergence? I've been reading a lot of Temple Grandin (Visual Thinking is fantastic) and see so much of myself in her books. But, I, too, am, let's just say well into adulthood, and I don't know if my life would change that much with a diagnosis. The only thing I can think of doing with a diagnosis is telling my siblings and childhood bullies that they picked on someone who had a reason for being "weird." But it doesn't change anything. Beyond the medication, did you find any solace? Thank you for sharing your journey.
I was just thinking I should do a post about this....
I don't recall the specifics and have never been able to find the post again, but sometime prior to 2019 I made a joke about having a short attention span, and someone said something like "Oh, did you finally get a diagnosis?" and I said haha no, I don't have ADHD, and a bunch of readers went, "Uh, you very clearly do." Some of them added that they thought I knew and was just being discreet about it. (As if I have ever been discreet about anything in my life.)
So I figured, okay, probably there's some level of neurodivergence there, given that my mother and siblings all have various diagnoses, and my father was clearly autistic. (Knowing what we know now about how ADHD can mask as other mental illnesses, there's a strong chance this comes from my maternal grandmother, who was the person in the family I was most like when she was alive.) I tried a couple of times to get evaluated and always had either slow or nonexistent responses from the clinics I reached out to, so I stopped trying. I had a ton of coping mechanisms in place and was in a good spot in my life, so I thought honestly, what would it change?
But by the end of 2021, while I was still in a pretty good financial place, and my career was doing well, I could tell that if things kept up as they were I was going to tank my job purely through being unable to get through a day doing productive work the way I used to.
I thought, well, if this is ADHD and it's getting worse because the whole fucking world is on fire, I have two options: I can assume I have it and just do the reading and figure shit out on my own, or I can get evaluated, get professional advice, and possibly get medicated. That seemed like the best return on investment, so that's what I worked on. My goal was primarily medication, because I didn't see myself being able to change much else about my situation on my own. And, truthfully, medication has been the biggest change -- I actually have an essay about that queued for the anniversary of my starting Adderall. But while it hasn't been a massive life-altering world-shattering change, all of this was worth it purely for the medication.
Uh, momentary sidebar in my memoir: there are downsides to having a diagnosed disability -- discrimination, legal barriers to certain things like holding government jobs or adopting, etc. Those have to be weighed when you're considering evaluation. If you think you may have autism, there's not necessarily an advantage to having a formal diagnosis unless you need accommodations; if you think you may have ADHD, the huge advantage is access to medication, which doesn't exist for autism as far as I'm aware. So your particular flavor of neurodivergence might dictate whether you get a diagnosis, or whether you just start operating on the assumption you have it. Both are valid, I think, it really depends on what's going on in your life and what you want to change.
Anyway, I have been doing other research, reading journal articles and pop psychology and talking to people, and that's been good, but even if I had none of that, the medication has been so helpful in getting me back on an even keel and then making life even better.
This sounds kind of weird to say but I'm not generally someone who needs a lot of solace. There is some relief in knowing that at least some of my fuckups in life weren't something I could have prevented by simply having more strength of character or working harder, and that's nice, but it's something I could have had without a formal diagnosis -- just like you could simply tell your siblings and bullies you have a diagnosis. (Being real, I doubt they'd care; bullies gonna bully whether you had a reason to be weird or not, and none of that would have been your fault regardless of your neurology. But it's all very situational, as I'm sure you know.) I wasn't badly bullied as a kid and there's nobody really to...tell, in the sense you're thinking of. But I didn't get into it for emotional solace; I got into it to fix a life that was, albeit extremely slowly, starting to fall apart. So if you're someone, as most people are, who derives emotional satisfaction or catharsis from having the diagnosis, I think it probably would be pretty helpful. But even if you aren't, like me, if you can get medication or accomodations, I think it's worth it.
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thequietkid-moonie · 5 months
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Autistic S/O cries when feeling overwhelmed
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[ HEADCANONS ] [ Saki, Hotaru, Yao ]
[ A Condition Called Love / Hananoi-kun to Koi no Yamai ]
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The past days I been so excited about diferent things that i almost cried a few times because of how excited I was hahaha
Writing for a condition called love is one of the things i been really excited for!! And is finally happening!!! Waaaahhhh
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Saki Hananoi
Saki is someone who loves intensily and he has no need to hide it, everyone who watch him when interacting with you can tell how much he adores you, and, in all honestly something like a disability won't change his feeling in the slighest, for him is just who you are and is more to love about you (except for whenever you suffer from your autism, in those moments it hurts him that you have to go through that)
Saki is more than willing to just adapt to your needs and preferences, and he even does it with a smile in his face! is not a problem for him and he isn't bothered in the slighest and he always tell you that he does it because he loves you and wants to see you happy
Saki is so in love with you and is so observant that is just matter of time for Saki to learn how to read your body language and learn to identify whatever you are feeling, even if you are not good or too expressing (maybe you tend to do it more by stiming) he will know how are you feeling and is ready to offer you his help whenever you feel overwhelmed or stressed
Saki is way too worried about your comfort and well-being that the first time he notices that you are starting to feel overwhelmed he kinda panics, not that he doesn't know what he should do to help you (even if you don't talk much about it with him he already made a lot of research about it), is just that he doesn't want you to be in distress, and being overwhelmed means that you have being expoused to stressful stimulus for too long for your comfort, what probably lead him to feel guilt too
Depending in how overwhelmed you are and what you alow him to do to help he will focus on helping you imediatly, mainly dragging you away from anyone and anything to have some privacy and peace and just helping you focus on him, trying to help you take deep breaths, but the moment the tears start to just appear in the corner of your eyes is like if the world is cracking under him (specially the first time), he isn't bothered or find it pathetic but it breaks his heart seeing you cry, so it just make him panic a little more and try to help you in a more desperately way, he is trying really hard to stay calm but he can feel his own tears starting to form on his eyes
After that first time Saki will have some time where he is afraid of you feeling that overwhelmed again, so he will be stressing himself out by trying to make sure nothing around you will result on bothering you that much, it has to be you who talk to him to help him calm down (and if you do apologize for crying when feeling overwhelmed that will break his heart again because he thinks he has being the one making you feel guilt for it), with your reasurance and guidence to learn how he can actually help you in those moments (or just in general) is the only way he will finally calm down and feel at peace with himself again. Even with your help it will take him a while but at the end he will be able to offer you a proper help
There are chances that you can end up feeling overwhelmed by positive feelings, feeling so much happines or excitment that end up being overwhelmed in a not-so-bad way, and in that case if you end up crying too Saki will feel troubled and confused, in case like that he isn't sure of what he is supoused to do and seeing you in tears still makes his heart ache, even when seeing you also happy makes him feel more relief you'll need to reasure him that you are alright
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Hotaru Hinase
Even when Hotaru has a lot of troubles understanding her own emotions and has problems when interacting with others she is really kind and want to try her best in the face of adversity, so when she knows that she loves you and actually wants to be in a relationship she will try her hardest to express it and be a good girlfriend
For Hotaru you having a disability such as the autism is not really a problem, that won't change her feeling for you, however it makes her a little bit anxious because she doesn't know how to act around you or how not upset you by accident, it will take her a while and will need some help from your part (and her friends too) to be able to fully understand your condition and how much help you need during the day (if you need it, thats it)
Hotaru is not the best to read others behavior or tell what others may think or feel, with some exception with the people she care for (not the best but she cares so much for her closest ones that she just pay a little more attention to them) and for wanting to be a good girlfriend will lead her to be able to tell whenever you are starting to feel bothered and even stress by whatever is passing around after some time in the relasionship, and in that moment she tries to help you calm down and just concentrate on her before you start to feel way too overwhelmed, if there is the chance she will lead you somewhere more quiet to let you have the time to be able to calm down, she has the desire to help you and wants to do what she can but she is quite nervous about doing anything, she thinks on take your hand but doesn't want to startled you, she wants to bring you some water or any comfort item you need but she doesn't want to leave you alone, she want to try and help you take some deep breaths and focus on her but she doesn't know if her voice will even help
She is so anxious and insecure the first time she sees you so overwhelmed that when you start to tear up Hotaru starts panicing, leaving aside her doubts in an instant and imediatly trying to help you, asking you whats wrong and if you need help, but there are high chances that she doesn't get an answer, so she up to just stay by your side and leave you cry all you need, trying her best to just shield you from the rest of the world so anyone else will bother you
Hotaru feels an inmense pain when seeing you like this, she doesn't like seeing the person she loves in so much distress and even scare her a little, she feels quite impotent and honestly she is just waiting for you to tell her what she can do for you
Hotaru really hopes it never happens again but she knows that there is still the posibility (as much as it hurt her), so she just opt to wait until you are more calm and relaxed to ask you what she can do to help you when you have a crisis, please she need to know all she can because she hates the feeling she gets when she sees you in so much distress but not being able to do anything, it will take her a while to get used to it but she will be ready to offer you proper help whenever you need it (she even feels quite confident on it even when it scares her the posibility of happening again)
If you even end up feeling overwhelmed because of an inmense happines or excitment to the point that you start crying in that case too Hotaru will feel troubled, she panics a little but since the context is diferent she waits a little before doing something, and when she realice that your tears are actually happy tears she will be incredibly relief, laughing a little and probably tearing up a little too
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Sohei Yao
Yao is a really kind and cheerful person, as well as loving, once he finds someone to love he just wishes for that person to be happy and safe, and since those feeling are reciprocated then he feels like he must make sure you are safe and happy by his side
Yao have fallen in love with you for who you are, and for him it doesn't matter much if you have a disability or not, your condition won't chance what he feel for you or how he sees you in the slighlest, however he is really respectful and actively tries to learn more and more about your condition, wanting to be able to offer you proper help if you ever need it
Yao isn't the best to understand his own emotions or yours, honestly he has some troubles to be able to comprehend what are you feeling (specially by the stiming and indirect ways to express yourself) but, somehow, at the same time Yao is pretty good at telling if you are having a good time or a bad time, whenever you are feeling happy and just enjoying yourself (and probably just being influenced by your own happiness) or whenever you are feeling uncomfortable or upsed, imediatly trying to come up with an excuse to get away from whatever is bothering you and ready to comfort you
The first time Yao has to witness you so overwhelmed because something have become way too stressful for you Yao himself feels hurt and a little stress, the anxiety start to built inside of him, fearing that perhaps someone have done something to you. But, despite how is he feeling right now he knows that he should focus on you, so he imediatly tries to help you calm down and try to remember you that he is with you and nothing can hurt you, but the moment he sees the tears on the corner on your eyes he just panics a little, he doesn't want to see you cry so thats is when he decide to take you somewhere is just the two of you so you can cry all you need (even when it breaks his heart is better that you let go of all thats pain, still he feel quite flattered that you trust him enough to be able to show such vulnerable with him)
Yao is pretty good at comforting people, and even when he feels his chest tighten at the sight of your tears he does a good job offering you not only comforting words but also a good and reasuring company, letting you cry all you need until you can finally feel calm again (even when he feels the tears forming in his own eyes)
After managing to calm down Yao will apologize because he feels like he haven't done much to help you, and he feels quite frustrated with himself for it, but promise to be more to help in the future and even ask you to please teach him how to properly help you and what to do to make you feel safe and comfortable (and you can see Yao's determination for it wrote all over his face while asking, there is no doubt that he mean it)
Yao would prefer if it never happen again, but he knows that life isn't that simple and stressful situations won't stop, still he can't help but feel mad or even frustrated when he thinks on how it probably end up being even more difficult for you due your condition, and that lead him to try even more to help you have a comfortable life (not because of pity but because of love)
If the case is the contrary and you end up feeling overwhelmed by positive feelings to the point where you start crying it will take him a moment to fully process what its happening, his anxiety is there but he also can tell that it isn't exactly distress what are you feeling, so after realicing you are crying because you are happy he couldn't help but laugh at the situation before joining you in your happiness
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jonathanbiers · 2 years
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Argyle never gets frustrated with Steve when he doesn’t understand something. He doesn’t roll his eyes, or give That Sigh. He explains things patiently, if a bit abstractly, and when Steve is way off base Argyle runs with it. Is Vecna a vampire? Whoa that would be wild, man! Do you think he can’t have garlic? We could just take him out with a gnarly garlic pie, my dude!
the way you're seeing into my mind.... argyle being really soft with steve and taking the time to make sure he doesn't feel stupid when he's confused is something i've considered AT LENGTH (specifically in dms with @himbohohoharringtxn who has the unfortunate luck of being on the receiving end of Most of my argyle thoughts fdjghkdfj)
i would like to preface this by saying that i am firmly in "argyle and steve are both genuinely smart" territory. i think steve is very neurodivergent coded (i see the arguments for adhd/autism/dyslexia/ocd and as someone who might be autistic but is diagnosed with the other three....i see these arguments and i agree on all fronts) and there's also the head trauma of it all, though that's not what this is about. he's not fucking dumb, he just needs things broken down and explained to him in a very specific way. nothing wrong with that!
as far as argyle is concerned - we've literally seen him in action noticing small details no one else has(one of my fav parallels between them), which ends up being the reason the cali group finds nina and el. he's not fucking dumb either, just delivered to us as a comic relief stoner character with little dimension because the duffers need to be fucking stopped
BUT ANYWAY! you're so right! argyle would see the way steve sometimes gets brushed off and spoken over. the rest don't mean it to be hurtful and steve tries not to show that it does sometimes sting (because it's really not that big of a deal to him and it's not like they're being outright mean) but he would ABSOLUTELY "yes and-" whatever steve's off the wall question or idea was, if anything just to make him laugh, relieve some of the tension. AND IT WORKS is the thing.
it's not just, "duuuude, what if we just lure vecna into the sun? he'll be TOAST in five seconds flat, no fighting necessary. nancy, you can put the gun down, we're gonna hurl garlic cloves at him with a slingshot!" in one fell swoop, argyle is 1. making sure steve feels heard and not spoken over; 2. acknowledging steve's input and effort in a way that, let's be honest, the others don't do very often; 3. putting a smile on the group's faces for a while because fuck they're kids in a stressful situation and need a laugh; 4. putting himself in the line of fire so the others can rag on him instead.
argyle would do this when they aren't even dating yet and steve definitely would not be normal about it, he'd be smiling so big and soft and then argyle would catch his eye and smile back and they'd have this little quiet moment between them amidst all the chaos and dread.
after they're dating though? oh, they'd be INSUFFERABLE. they'd be such a pda couple, with the ridiculous pet names("what the fuck did you just call me?" "don't worry about it, my lil sweet potato pie."), and the open flirting until their friends are fake-retching, the whole nine yards. argyle is hanging off of steve's back with his arms around his waist and not even acknowledging it as he makes his argument to the rest of the group that, "no, no, listen. steve is onto something here, i just know. what if-"
and when they're alone, it'd be less of the theatrics and silliness and more of the gentle patience. they're both smart in really different ways and when argyle gets something steve doesn't and steve is getting a little frustrated about it, he'd take his hand or pull him close and just distract him with a little bit of affection to get him to cool down because he knows being frustrated isn't going to help steve figure out whatever it is. conversely, steve does the same when he's trying to explain something to argyle - though he's less likely to get as frustrated when confused, and more likely to pretend to take longer to get it than he actually does because listening to steve explain a subject he's knowledgeable about is fucking hot, can you blame him? they're just soft with each other, okay
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