#ethan hawke headcanon

[wayward-persephone]

This audio is so James sandin coded it’s not even a joke anymore 😌🫢

Omg YES! 🥵

I've literally listened to all of his stuff and I think of Ethan Hawke with just about all of them 🥴

This particular one I can definitely see it being James Sandin although I do headcanon him as being a bit more... gentle?

Maybe if it's a bit of roleplay? 👀

Either way this leaves me messy and it's all his fault 😩

[ash5monster01]

Dead Poets Society & what they loved as kids

according to me, @octaviasdread, & @theluminoussunflower 🤍

Masterlist

Neil Perry - Cowboys

Todd Anderson - Trains

Charlie Dalton - Pirates

Knox Overstreet - Medieval Knights

Richard Cameron - Soldiers

Steven Meeks & Gerard Pitts - Dinosaurs

[jinxfestival]

I will tell my children that true love was born because of this scene

[charliedaltonreal]

todd anderson the type of guy to curl up into a ball and cry on his bed at 12am on a tuesday

[smth-intheway]

I haven't seen anyone talk about it, or maybe someone noticed but didn't said anything...

Neil and Charlie are connected, not only by the bonds of friendship but also by their shared symbolism of “death”, which is shown at the very end of the movie/book when their seats were empty. They are both key characters and as those who, despite their differences, are very similar.

Let's start with Neil. We all know that Neil is the one who started the dead poets society in 1959, he is the speaker and the leader of the group, as if leading the boys. He is the first to find the album with Keating's photo in it, the first to learn what the society is (yeah boys were near him), the first to read the official opening speech and assign roles to everyone. Who will read and who won’t. He acts as a confident person, his actions are based on a new feeling and finding freedom from the grip of his father. Everyone noticed how he looked at Keating when he gave his famous speech that every person in this fandom knows?

Yes, you can't help but notice how his eyes shine with hope, that he like a prisoner, will free himself from the shackles and escape from the clutches of his father. By the way, about his dad.

This man plays a very important role in Neil's life, as he does in his, albeit in the most disgusting way. His father sees himself in him only in his youth, he wants to achieve what he could not in the past. He uses Neil to turn back the time and become an ideal version of himself without caring what Neil thinks. Most likely, Mr. Perry was an unsuccessful person and perhaps he did not succeed in many things, proving this with the following phrases: "I sacrificed so much for you to be here" and "you have opportunities that I don’t had” He kind of puts pressure on Neil shoulders to give him false motivation to do things as he said, setting himself as an example, like... if you don’t do as I say, then the worst will happen to you, because I know better than you and I have lived longer than you. His father makes his son a submissive and obedient boy who is obliged to do and act as he is told, simply because he has no choice, because he is inexperienced and "impressionable" in the opinion of his father and he must definitely listen to the one who knows better in order to avoid the worst outcome. Just lower your head and show obedience like everyone else.

By the way, it is interesting that in the book the first description of Neil, and the first words about his appearance sound like this: "The breast pocket of his Welton blazer was covered with a huge cluster of achievement pins." (page 5, ch.1) Ironic, right? Now try to close your eyes and imagine the same student, without imagining Neil. What impression will you have of him? Right.. smart, successful with a brilliant future. This is what people who don’t know Neil see. He has become someone who is held up as an example. A diligent student and an example of behavior. Even the fact that in the book he wears a pillar with the inscription "excellence" as if hanging a label of idealism and perfection on himself. That is why they gave him this sign, so that he would carry it, introducing himself as the personification of that very perfection that teachers want to have in their students. But is that what he needs? Neil did not know what he wanted, he did not allow himself to go beyond what was permitted, always silently and following the rules. Afraid of getting burned like a moth over a fire. He was suppressed by his father, all the time his desires and dreams were rejected and not accepted, because there is a coordinate system and you cannot move against it. I can even assume that his father pressured him if his academic results did not satisfy him, from which Neil tried to prove that he could do better, because he wants his father to be proud of him and love him for being a good son, perhaps Mr. Perry could punish Neil for disobedience, from which the boy began to fear his father like a nightmare. Remember the scene when his father entered the room at the very beginning of the movie after the ceremony? Neil's behavior changed from before to after. With his friends he was happy, self-confident and the life of the party, but when his father showed up on the doorstep all of these traits were washed away and Neil showed his fear and insecurity.

So he hid himself, his dreams, ambitions and desires including emotions in front of his father. Several times in the book, (the movie didn’t showed it) Neil had the outbursts and slightly hysterical release of his emotions he was holding when his father was around. “Neil held the achievement pin in his hand as he spoke. “The bastard!” he shouted suddenly, jabbing his thumb with the metal point of the pin and drawing blood. Todd winced, but Neil just stared at the blood intently. He pulled the pin out and hurled it against the wall.” (Page 19, Chap3)

“Mr. Perry turned and stalked out. Neil stood still for a long time, then, walking to his desk, he started pounding on it, harder and harder until his fists went numb and tears began rolling down his cheeks.” (Page 119, chap11) Neil isn’t an emotionally stable person because his emotions only show when his father is not around. He is mentally weak because he is afraid to speak his mind around someone who will not listen to him. This is important and worth remembering because Neil has no voice around his father, so he did not tell him what he wanted, so he kept silent because he understood and built a mental reflex that his father's stubborn nature would still make him do what Neil does not want. He already knows what his father will say. Rejection. This is his weak point. He is afraid of rejection and does not want to hear it again, because he has heard it so many times ... over and over again. This Neil is very different from the confident guy he shows himself to be in society.

he did not share his feelings/thoughts with anyone, because he most likely not had close friends except Charlie. Because His entire life was planned and controlled by his authoritarian father, from A to Z. His dad would’ve probably not be happy about his son being friends with the “who the hell knows”.

That's why when he heard Keating's words about enjoying the moment, living here and now while this moment is here because one day it won't be. Carpe diem my friend. You need to look at things in the different way and not be afraid of what others think because what matters is what you think. These words entered Neil's thoughts as a basis for changing his situation, to free himself from the shackles and become who he always wanted. Because if not, this moment will never come. He began to think differently and began to go towards his dream that he wanted to acquire so much. Neil was slowly drowning in his ideal world, living freely and hopelessly, but he misunderstood Keating's words, because he had to change his idea of ​​the world and not himself. Neil did not understand that you cannot change the situation you are in, you can only change your idea and vision of it. He wanted to take control, but he forgot that sucking out the bone marrow, you need to do it so as not to choke on the bone. It is interesting that he was the first to come and recreate the Dead poets society and the first to leave, thus killing this society.

His death has a huge influence on the plot as well as on the symbolism itself, because if you look closely, in the book he dies with his crown of flowers as if killing his personality "Puck" through which he embodied the archetype of the deceiver (his father’s deceiver), challenging the established standards of behaviour. The second one is a reference to Jesus that many talk about. So, if you think about it, the crown of branches that he wore is very similar to the one that Jesus had. At first, he looks up, supposedly into the sky, in search of the meaning of life and pondering his decision. He puts on the crown, proclaiming himself his own liberator, just as Jesus was in Christian culture.

He didn't want to depend on his father or the rotten system anymore, Neil thought he would make his own decision outside of his father's wishes. After all, if there is no freedom in life itself, then why should he live?

Then, he lowers his head as if accepting his fate and knowing that he has chosen the right path for himself.

Neil showed obedience to himself and not to someone else which made him one step freer before he got freedom completely. He, like Jesus, accepted himself as a sacrifice in the face of freedom intending to be free even if not for others then for himself. Therefore, it was his own "crucifixion".

It is interesting that he lowers his head just like the boy from that very wall painting.

Okay, but then how does he relate to Charlie? It's simple, Charlie isn't always himself either, and unlike Neil's hidden symbolism, he directly proclaims himself to be another person, namely "Nuwanda". He abandons his boring, past self by forgetting who he was through self-destruction. "I have an announcement. In keeping with the spirit of passionate experimentation of the Dead Poets, I'm giving up the name Charles Dalton. From now on, call me 'Nuwanda.'" (page 89, chap9) In the same way, he added more nuances to his personality, such as his famous phrase "getting red" and when he painted the Indian symbol of virility on his torso supposedly giving himself confidence through the symbol's underlying meaning, which is anchored in the Indian goddess Shiva-Lingam which signifies masculinity, virility and association with fertility due to its sexual significance.

The same goes for the symbols he drew on his cheek, what's interesting is that in the movie he drew it with lipstick using red again, which usually symbolizes power, passion and life, this colour is used to attract attention. But in the book... he literally scrapes dirt off the wall to draw this symbol on his cheek. (What a cheerful boy fr)

Charlie is a time bomb. He constantly has ideas in his head, at first it may seem empty but there really is a lot of things, plus this “dish” is also seasoned with the guy's self-confidence and huge ego. This is proven by the fact that Charlie literally claimed the cave when he entered it and then used it to bring girls, without worrying about the opinions of others. He kind of stands as an example of the opposite of the Welton school value system, and encourages boys not to be afraid to be more confident. In the film, he was the first to support Neil in the idea of ​​creating a club, standing on his side, and also defending him after Cameron's betrayal at the very end, knowing that he is risking his education in Welton, but he is not afraid to take on such responsibility ... well, because why should he be afraid? He already has a future full of money, knowing that his father will force him to work with his business. By the way, about his father.

Unlike Neil, his relationship with his father is controversial and he can fight back with the confidence that he will be forgiven. In the film, his parents are shown in the background.

And in the book we only know his mother. I can assume that Charlie is a child from a rich family who lives as an accessory in the hands of his parents. He, like Neil, is the "pride" of his parents and should be an example, only Charlie does not want to follow the coordinate system and enter it instead he moves against it. Like Neil at the end of his path.

We know that Rebellion is already embedded in any ideology at the time of its creation, and rebels only personify rebellion and do not bring it to the established system of values. After all, there will always be those who are against the established system, moving in the opposite direction and trying to find other conclusions, other ideas that will definitely suit a certain type.

Charlie could become a rebel for two reasons, the first: the search for attention. Unlike the hyper-care of Neil's father over his son, his father could be so bogged down in work that he forgot about his own son, perhaps not even his beloved, because then the marriage would be of convenience. His parents did not give him enough attention, pushing him away, rejecting him. He wanted to be noticed by them so that they would give him love, so he tried to achieve it in every possible way and it became a habit. Or the second option: He was tired of living a pretense. Straightforwardness is always a way out when it’s difficult to explain. Just be simple and do not bother to be complex, so the fear of making a mistake disappears. So Charlie did, because as far back as he could remember, he hated being told how he should behave, how he should talk to guests, how he should smile, how he should take utensils for food, and so on. Charlie was tired of seeing people from high society smiling at each other with such hypocrisy, as if a second ago they had not been in deep judgmental discussion. The world of big business disgusted Charlie, because those people were too worried about how they looked in front of others and they ran after status. Charlie was a prisoner of this every day and he didn't want to be like the others, he wanted to create something of his own in his personality, something that the others didn't have and something that would distinguish them from him, or him from them. So he chose the easy way - rebellion. So Keating's words meant something to him in the sense that he would enjoy the moment of rebelling against the school's rules and building his own system. Charlie could relate to his own approaching "death" if life at Welton was not symbolic but real. That is, his expulsion is an actual death. It could be similar to the phrase that Carpe diem oppose - Memento Mori. Carpe diem, in simple terms, says that death is inevitable, but it is unknown when it will come, and therefore it should not be feared, but instead enjoy the moment, which is what Keating taught his students, but there is also memento mori, which says that death is inevitable, but the moment of its onset can be delayed by behaving, so to speak, you should live “correctly” and act rationally for the benefit of your own life. In other words, memento mori means that everything is in your hands and when you die is determined by how you live. And Carpe diem is about the opposite, that nothing depends on you. And therefore you can and should take everything from life here and now. These two terms are closely related to the understanding of Keating's lessons, so each DPS boy had his own end. Tragic or partly happy. Knox and Todd understood that you can't change this system, but you can change your attitude towards it by finding beauty in things and avoiding death, but Neil and Charlie didn't understand him, wanting to change system and putting their lives on the line, so both of their seats are empty at the end.

If you think about it... Charlie is Neil's desire for suicide. After all, he too is moving towards self-destruction by excluding himself from the system directly through death, while Charlie does it indirectly by going through exclusion.

[whilesleepy]

okay but you see the touch starved todd headcannons with clingy neil, im proposing we subvert that and go with touch starved neil and clingy todd.

but todd’s only clingy when he’s comfortable, so like i’m the comfort of him and neil’s own room, whereas neil never got much affection from his father, so he craved it but was afraid of it at the same time

he would only let todd, and charlie because no one can resist charlie.

but like yeah, once neil got used to todd’s touch and again, mainly in the comfort of their room, he would let him lean into his side, and rest his head on his lap etc.

especially when they’re reading lines for neil

[stevenmeeksfreeamericaradio]

Neil deffo stamps his feet when he gets excited about something and Todd just lets him rant about whatever he is interested in because he loves seeing Neil happy.

(In the scene where Neil write a letter from his Father if you listen to it Neil stamps his feet)

[crinbyignby]

Todd Anderson got to live truly for the rest of his life after Keating’s class.

Neil Perry only truly lived for one semester.

[armorangels]

late night sad todd hours because even in the scenes where todd’s confidence starts to blossom, he still has the most melancholic expressions :-)

[0bsessiv3s0ul]

"From the moment we enter crying, to the moment we leave dying,"

[mandowifey]

The Start of Something.

Chapter 1. || Chapter 2

Ellison Oswalt can't remember the last time he had a break this big. A cult survivor who made national news, a secluded compound quartered off from the public eye, an entire town of folks gone over night. This is the opportunity to become the best seller once more, to tell the story of a young woman who survived against the odds.

- + - +

Warnings: Mentions of cult practices, reader is the survivor of extreme trauma as well as sexual assault and ritualistic practices. Reader is afab, and has gone selectively mute as a trauma response. Mentions of blood, traumatic memories, thoughts of anxiety, depression. This is a slow burn, with plot. (It'll be worth it, promise!)

Note: This is an AU, where the events of Sinister did not end with the family dying.

- x - x - x - x - x -

Alaska was on the list of top three locations Tracy wanted to visit, which made it easier convincing the family to uproot despite the recent incident. Sitka was a small town located in the middle of endless forests, mountains and icy lakes. The people there cultivated most of their own food and livestock. Those who were able bodied enough to handle the work manned small fishing vessels during season and that was how they survived long winters. It was a difficult place to grow old, and that was when you weren't a tourist.

"Trevor, Ashley come here for a second."

Ellison came jogging around the moving van, which to everyone's surprise had stayed in tact since renting it nearly 200 miles ago. Wearing his signature cardigan, he leaned and placed a box down on the edge of the truck before looking at his children. So much had changed since Chatford. Ashley didn't smile much, though the cocktail of therapy, child psychiatrists and medications were mostly to blame. Trevor had become much more withdrawn, and Tracy, she said it hadn't been his fault but the way she looked at him spoke otherwise.

He smiles. "I know I already gave you both a pep talk about moving here, but you gotta remember not to wander around anywhere without an adult. There's-"

His pointed gaze fell upon the full sized bed in the corner. It seems Tracy remembered to tell the movers to put it there. Things were different now, and that included their marriage. The only reason they had not finalized the divorce was to keep their children from dealing with any other sort of stress on top of what had already happened. Part of him hoped that this new book would be his gateway into repairing his marriage and family.

"Bears, wolves, and other bad things." Both children said unanimously.

Ellison pushes his lips together, softening his brows. He had not realized how many times he'd given them the 'safety talk'. Satisfied that the children understood, he waved them off and grabbed his box before walking inside. Their home was an older model, a mix of vintage and modern. Some of the wood that came with the original structure had been restored, but the rest had been left untouched. It was not as glamorous as their previous residences but it was the only place they could afford with their strict budget. Stepping around the corridor into his office, he places the box down on the desk and glances.

With a heavy sigh, Ellison walked out of his domicile and resumed bringing in boxes.

---

You were running.

His scream followed you over fallen trees, through the leaves and streams. Dogs barking, their hot breath at your legs. Your lungs were filled with ice, aching with each sharp breath you took. Everything inside you was tired, but giving up meant going back, and you would rather die.

It felt like you might, as you broke through the tree line and the lush woods became a narrow cliff face, nearly 60 feet above white capped rapids. Jumping would certainly result in death, but so would allowing yourself to be caught. Your heart slammed in your ears as rushing winds made you wobble and catch yourself near the edge. You look below, before your eyes drift back to the trees. Four men ran out, two holding foaming dogs on leashes, and two holding torches. Their black and red ceremonial robes ruffling in the wind.

"Y/N," A man with short platinum blonde hair and piercing blue eyes emerged from the middle of them. His prominent cheek bones making him appear much more ghastly in the low light of the setting sun. The robes he wore mirrored that of a christian reverend. Though instead of white or gold accents, they were red.

"Stay away from me, Joseph." Your voice hardly audible over the wind.

His lips pressed into a thin line and he frowned as he looked at you. Joseph was so clearly disappointed, the look in his eyes made you think he might've almost felt bad. But you knew better. He takes another step towards you, causing you to inch closer to the edge, making him stop.

"Don't you think this is a little bit of an overreaction, hmm?" He rumbles. "Come on darling, what are you going to do, jump? That fall alone is nearly 60 feet. It'd kill you on impact-"

Your bare feet touch the edge of the cold stone, your eyes on fire as you look at him.

"-Y/N, my dark goddess, please, seek reason, move from the edge and come with me. I promise you will not receive punishment for your disobedience. Just, step away..." Joseph extends his hand towards you, fingers uncurling as his lips twisted into a smile that never quite reached his eyes. In that moment, you knew what had to be done.

His guttural scream echoed as you let yourself fall.

-

Waking with a gasp, you sat upright in bed and gripped your chest, face and head to check over each inch and ensure everything was still together. Satisfied your body had not split apart, you look around your room and grab the cellphone perched on the edge of the nightstand. 7:45 AM, the usual. Ever since your escape, the nightmares had been relentless. Exhausted could not even begin to describe it. Sleep seemed like a fantasy instead of a possibility.

You decided it was time to start your day, the likelihood of falling back asleep was low. Making your way out of bed, you began the same routine you had done since your liberation three months ago. Shower, teeth, clothes, breakfast. The autonomy if your decisions was still strange. For nearly an entire year you had that right stripped away from you by Joseph. Now he was gone and you could decide when you ate and what you wore. The sensation was still strange, you couldn’t be sure you would ever get used to it.

As you moved around the tiny home, you heard the sound of church bells and felt a pit forming in your stomach. Saint Gale’s had been kind enough to give you housing in the in-law home on the church grounds. To return their kindness you volunteered at the church when you were able, and occasionally at the food kitchen. It wasn’t much, but it helped with the guilt of being supported. The small home was unlisted, and it helped conceal your identity from the public. Within the first three days of freedom, every news outlet and personality wanted to interview you. Everyone wanted the story of the Sitka Satanist Survivor. After denying each and every one, they had dwindled away to nothing as they realized you had vanished from the public eye.

You reminded yourself it was for the best. What happened with Joseph and that cursed place should die with you alone. Not a single soul would believe what had transpired there, and you were fine with that. The acceptance helped you sleep at night sometimes.

Cleaning your coffee mug, you were lost in thought when a familiar prickle made its way up the back of your neck. Your eyes flicked towards the front door, silent. There was a sound of tires crunching in gravel and a car door closing. You drop the mug in the sink and lunge for the knife block, your fingers curling around the handle of one and unsheathing it as you face the door. No one should know you were there. Holding your breath, you listened as soft footsteps trailed to your front door, where someone knocked gently.

A sick sensation began to pool in your stomach, your lungs aching from the lack of oxygen. Your mind swirled with all the possibilities. What if its Joseph? The police said the entire compound was gone by the time they arrived. Gone, not dead. Gone could mean anything. It could mean they were out there, just waiting for you to get complacent. The voice in your head began to whisper. Take the knife, cut your throat, don’t let them in. Don’t open that door. Cut your throat cut your throat cut-

“Hello, my name is Ellison Oswalt, I’m here to talk to Y/N.”

The thoughts abruptly stopped. Your eyes flick to the cornered bookshelf in the living room. Resting on the middle shelf, an old copy of Kentucky Blood. Another writer, someone hoping to capitalize on your experience. Your grip on the knife loosens just enough to alleviate the pain in your fingers. The man being there didn’t anger you, however you were pressed to find out how he found you. Walking to the door, you unlock the bottom lock but leave the chain lock connected. You open it just enough to look out and see him. Standing in his cardigan, he had a satchel over his shoulder and a soft smile on his face. Paranoid, your eyes skim the space behind him, searching for others.

Ellison picked up on your concern. “I’m alone.” He promises. “I’m good friends with the man who runs the church, Gary? I had to search a little to figure out where they moved you to but it’s not public. I hadn’t told anyone either.” He assures, his cerulean eyes catching the morning rays. You stare at him, frustrated that Reverend Morrison would tell anyone where you were.

Since you had not spoke, Ellison continued. “I know you don’t have a great relationship with the media but I want to work with you and tell your story. It’s not every day someone goes through what you did. This is a chance to inspire others, maybe be an awakening for folks. You deserve to be heard.” His words held a lot of passion, you felt compelled to believe him. With a frown, you reach over to put the knife on the counter before looking at him. Perhaps he was right. Maybe if the world learned of what happened to you, you’d find some peace. You doubted heavily he or the public would believe you, but Ellison had a point. It was time to be heard.

Unlatching the chain, you open the door fully to welcome him inside.

For just a moment, you felt hope.

[wayward-persephone]

"Omega goes to an Alpha and clings on them to get away from another creepy Alpha/Beta"

I just love the Omegaverse 😩👌 And...well you pretty much got it lol

Goodnight a Gentleman and wouldn't think twice about using his Alpha status and his "Angel of Death" reputation to offer you protection. Letting you cling to him and keeping his touch respectful, and if you allow him, scenting you as an extra measure to keep wandering eyes or hands away from you.

Once you invite him into your bed, he's already decided in his head that you're going to be his Omega, and then when your Heat starts...it's like it was meant to be.

And by the time your Heat is officially over you will be claimed, knotted, and with come dried all over your thighs with a very happy Goodnight plastered to you rumbling in contentment.

[ash5monster01]

Dead Poets Society Names & Their Meaning

Neil - passionate

Todd - clever

Charlie - free man

Knox - from the hills

Richard/Cameron - ruler/crooked

Steven - wreath, crown

Gerard - brave

John - graced by God

clearly some of these don’t mean a thing but the coincidences are also absolutely insane.

[churrosbitxh]

Damn I just found out some people fancasted River Pheonix as Jeffrey Anderson

AND NOW I CANNOT UNSEE IT

GLAKJHGKHAKGDHLKG!!!!!!

[aysanderson]

Why is it always a blonde and a nice dark-haired boy that make me crazy to call them parents?

[wordsarelife]

—ivy

pairing: knox overstreet x fem!reader

summary: you and knox are not allowed to be together, but can’t bare to be apart

warnings: none i think

"you're too loud!" you scolded, when knox tried to whisper something which was clearly spoken loud enough to echo off the walls and make it's way right into the headmasters chambers in the entryway of the school.

"it's fine" knox shrugged, opening another door that you had to walk through before you would be able to climb the stairs to his room.

the door squieked loudly, making your eyes widen as you looked back at knox, who seemed to be alarmed now too.

footsteps echoed off the stone walls from he corner in front of you and you exchanged panicked gazes, but it was already too late for you to do something as a grey-haired man turned the corner and looked up from him lamp in surprise.

"mr. overstreet!" he gasped, his eyes widening as he took in the sight of you and knox. his surprise quickly turned to disapproval. "and you! what are you two doing here at this hour?"

neither you or knox knew what to answer. whatever you would say would probably only worsen the situation, as there was no plausible explanation for what you were doing in the halls of a foreign school in the middle of the night. well, apart from the obvious one, of course.

"we will have to call your parents, young lady" the man furrowed his brows, making a gesture for knox and you to follow him.

"please don't, dr. hager" knox tried to plead, but his words fell on deaf ears.

"someone is gonna have to pick her up, mr overstreet" dr. hager shook his head, as if he was seriously regret that he had to drag your parents into this mess. "she's not a student here and we can't send her out alone in the dead of night"

"my parents can't know of this" you tried, exchanging glances with knox. your parents were just as strict as the rules of welton, if not stricter, forbidding you from any contact with boys.

"i'm sorry, children" dr. hager said without so much of a hint of sadness in his voice. "this is the only way"

you sank your head, accepting your fate and sinking down in the chair in front of dr. hager's desk, knox following suit.

"what's the number?"

you sighed, before you told him the number to the telephone in your house, imagining how your parents would dash out of bed, taking the call.

dr. hager would tell your father you were sitting here in his office and your father would send your mother to go look if your bed really was empty, as if it was normal for teachers to call and lie to him in the middle of night.

it took about twenty minutes for your parents to arrive. your mother had even taking out her rollers, the look of disdain all the more evident as her hair was standing up in volumes, the curls circling around her face.

your father did not look less angry, quite the opposite actually. he had to be physically stopped from screaming when he entered the office, as not to wake the entire school.

"i'm sorry" dr. hager excused, as your parents thanked him for informing them.

"me too" knox stumbled up from his chair, before the door was able to close behind you and your parents. all three of you turned around in surprise.

"knox!" you scolded in a whisper, pleading for him not to make the situation any worse than it already was.

knox ignored you. "i shouldn't have brought her here, and definitely not this late anyway."

"damn right you shouldn't" your father burhsed past you, holding a finger in front of knox' face. "and don't you ever think about contacting my daughter again"

"father" you pleaded.

“no, y/n” your father shook his head, unwavering anger on his face. “come on, now”

you hadn’t spoken to knox since the incident. the punishment had been swift and unforgiving. your parents were furious, forbidding you from seeing Knox again. they had imposed strict curfews and even threatened to move you to a different school, one far away from the one you were visiting.

knox didn’t have it any better. his parents had been informed too, promptly visiting the school and scolding him, how he could’ve dared to break the rules.

there was no possibility to see each other again, but knox wasn’t one to give up so easily.

one evening, just after curfew, you were lying on your bed when you heard a gentle tapping at your window. you sat up, confused. there it was again—a soft knock. you moved toward the window and pushed back the curtains.

there, standing on the tree just outside your window, was knox.

“knox!” you whispered, shocked. “what are you doing here?”

knox grinned, balancing precariously on a thick tree branch just outside your window. his eyes were full of that same mischievous spark that had first drawn you to him, but now it was paired with an urgency you hadn’t seen before.

“i missed you,” he whispered, his voice barely audible, but the intensity behind it was unmistakable.

your heart skipped a beat, torn between excitement and fear. “you’re crazy! if my parents find out you’re here, they’ll lock me up for good.”

“i’ll climb the walls every night if i have to,” he responded, his voice soft but determined. “i can’t stand not seeing you.”

you sighed, pushing open the window a little wider. “get in before someone sees.”

knox didn’t hesitate. with surprising strength, he swung himself through the window, landing quietly on the wooden floor of your room. you quickly closed the window behind him and turned, feeling the weight of your current situation. your curfew, your parents’ anger, the fact that you weren’t supposed to be seeing him—all of it loomed over you like a storm cloud.

“you shouldn’t be here,” you said, even though deep down, you were relieved to see him. “if my dad finds out…”

knox moved closer, his expression softening as he placed his hands gently on your shoulders. “i know. i’m sorry for getting you into this mess. i didn’t think we’d get caught that night at helton.”

you looked down, feeling the weight of everything that had happened since that night—your parents’ fury, the strict curfew, the constant watchful eye over you. but seeing knox here, risking so much just to be near you, made your heart ache in a different way.

“i couldn’t bear it,” he continued, his voice hushed but filled with emotion. “being away from you. it’s driving me insane.”

“i know,” you whispered, finally meeting his gaze. the tension melted a little as you looked into his familiar, earnest eyes. despite everything, he was here, standing in your room, just as desperate to be near you as you were to see him.

“what if we get caught again?” you asked, but there was no real fear in your voice now. just a quiet acceptance that this—whatever it was between you and knox—was worth it.

knox took a deep breath, his hands sliding down to take yours. “then we get caught,” he said simply. “i don’t care what happens, as long as i can be with you.”

your heart swelled at his words. you both knew the risks, the consequences, but in this moment, it didn’t seem to matter.

knox leaned in closer, his forehead resting against yours. “we’ll figure it out,” he murmured, his breath warm against your skin. “we’ll find a way.”

you closed your eyes, letting the comfort of his presence wash over you. for now, at least, he was here, and that was enough. even if the world outside was determined to keep you apart, in this moment, it was just you and knox, standing together in the stillness of the night.