#est control

[weptsorrow]

( @afacere replied )

yandere? 🫵

// i'm making this into its own post because i want to talk about it and not have it be lost in replies forever. i find the potential ivan has towards yandere-ism quite interesting and fun and could certainly see it be a possibility in au's. it's very important for his character to differentiate between canon and au's because. obv. there's certain material to be respected when it comes to canon, and i'd like to do that. even tho in most of his au's i try to stay true to his core character because... i don't want to erase it completely either. as canonically speaking, ivan is someone who puts others above himself, in his own eyes he's barely human, and there's numerous times where he's displayed being overly gentle with till because he, genuinely, doesn't want for any harm to come to till. yes he provokes fights with him, but he's rarely the one to actually throw the first punch, if ever, and in the end ends up fighting defensively rather than aggressivelly because he isn't looking to harm. he's just looking for a reaction. now, would ivan go out of his way to cause harm to others if they were ever 'threatening' to take till away from him? no! ivan is perfectly aware of the fact that he's not desirable, that he's not a good friend, that he's not someone worthy of love ( which isn't actually true— but that is his skewed perspective on the matter ). he's aware of till's crush on mizi and he respects it. he wants till to be his and reciprocate his feelings, but it's not something he'd ever force him to do, barely even gives him any hints to it, on top of the main reason why he fell for till was his rebellious nature and desire for freedom. therefore, he'd never try to rid him of what little freedom he has by trying to possess him. it's so terribly ingrained in ivan that he's just someone in the background; he's there because no one else would put up with till's temper. he knows he's someone people just settle for when there's no one else. he's never anyone's first choice, and he's okay with that. the sort of person that loves, but never expects anything in return. the 'if you love them, let them go' trope, because he's fully convinced people would be happier with literally anyone other than him. ivan is obsessive, out of curiosity, he sees till as means of learning about what emotions are because he is so very open and unashamed about his own. but he's not possessive.

but, with that aside, if i ever got the opportunity to write him more fucked up, in a verse where he lets his darker nature reign free, yes. because there's something inherently fucked up deep inside him. something twisted, that canonically comes from the lack of understanding of human emotions and being something of a feral child, and something that ( otherwise ) not-so-canonically simply comes from his obsessive nature. enough that his obsessions could border on that of a yandere, if given the opportunity. still, i do not believe that he'd ever try to cause harm to his object of desires, as is sometimes portrayed, but he'd certainly try to alienate them from others and monopolize them. ivan has charm, he puts on a front, and honestly excels at gaslighting, so he'd just try to convince the person that anyone else just... isn't good or safe for them. all the while keeping all the deranged stuff he does in the background under wraps. they don't need to know just to what lengths he'd go to ensure they'd stay with him!

[velvetjune]

Another case of Dr Darling being hilariously enthusiastic about the fbc’s latest morally questionable efforts with scientific research, but I love that his passive aggressive complaint got censored. I just know someone was feeling annoyed and petty at the callout

[ryvnk]

altas horas nocturnas son, como suelen serlo, sus más grandes cómplices. podría asegurar que, en medio de vástagos, algún ignorante humano debe encontrarse perdido, tal vez demasiado ebrio, o demasiado obsesionado con encontrar un premio fútil en aquellas máquinas. un poco como ellos. ni siquiera repara en la ausencia de su reflejo en los numerosos espejos de aquel comercio, pinturas brillantes que distraen de aquello que, para él, ya es una acostumbrada realidad. observa las filas interminables de máquinas, y suspira en silencio, antes de reparar en una presencia cercana. "¿piensas que esté divirtiéndose con esto?" el vampiro que está detrás de todo, como si estuviese observándoles. "podríamos tardar años en revisarlas todas," pero había escuchado, también, de que varios cainitas habían encontrado suerte en lugares así. "¿cuáles crees que sean las dichosas reliquias?" tenía sus teorías, pero quería escuchar unas cuantas más.

[davidjenkins]

FUCK IT WE BALL ‼️‼️🦅🦅🦅

[hannieoftheyear]

how many mingyu fics are too many?? he has some kind of grip on me I swear because tell me why I was just writing a quick wonwoo idea I had then suddenly I'm 1k words in on an enemies to lovers mingyu au again

[smileflowcr]

Minjun tu arreglas algo de forma madura o simplemente le echas agua a todo aquel que te molesta? /le acerca el micrófono(?)

"¿Por qué debería responderte, plebeya? Esfúmate antes que te lance al océano y seas comida para algún tiburón."

[luiwritings]

@vixy-ki

[rachellaurengray]

The Illusion of Control: Breaking Free (trigger warning)

Many of us have faced moments where we felt overwhelmed by the need to control aspects of our lives. For some, this manifests in extreme behaviors around exercise and eating. I want to share a story that might resonate with many of you—a story of finding oneself trapped in a cycle of control and the journey to break free.

The Need for Control: A Common Struggle

It all starts with a common struggle: a desire for control in a world that often feels chaotic. For me, this need turned into an obsession with exercise and diet. I found solace in the rigid structure of my daily routines. Spending hours working out each day, fasting, and then eating around 8 PM became my way of managing the chaos in my life.

This isn’t just my story. Many people use exercise and strict dietary habits as a way to cope with stress or emotional turmoil. It’s a way to impose order when other areas of life feel out of control.

The Paradox of Control: Loving Food, Yet Feared

Ironically, despite my love for food, my relationship with it became fraught with anxiety. After carefully planning my meals, I’d indulge only to feel a deep sense of guilt. This guilt often led to destructive behaviours and self-talk that seemed like a way to regain control. This paradox—loving something yet fearing it—can feel incredibly isolating.

If you’ve ever found yourself caught in a similar cycle, you’re not alone. Many people experience this conflict between their desires and their fears, creating a constant internal battle.

The Cycle of Control: From Empowerment to Entrapment

The pursuit of control can start with good intentions but quickly becomes an all-consuming force. What was once empowering—structuring my workouts and meals—turned into a rigid routine that dominated my life. The quest for control can easily become a trap where the initial sense of mastery turns into a source of suffering.

This cycle can feel like a prison, where every effort to control one aspect of life leads to losing control over another. Recognizing this entrapment is a crucial step in the journey towards healing.

Breaking Free: A Collective Journey

Breaking free from this cycle involves more than just altering habits; it requires a deeper understanding of the underlying need for control. It’s about acknowledging that the quest for control often masks deeper issues, such as anxiety, low self-esteem, or unresolved trauma.

For many, seeking help from a mental health professional is a vital step. Therapy can provide tools to address these issues and develop healthier relationships with food and exercise. It’s about learning to embrace balance rather than perfection.

Finding Balance: The Path Forward

The journey to balance is ongoing and personal. It involves shifting focus from rigid control to flexible, mindful living. Enjoying food without guilt, exercising for health rather than punishment, and allowing oneself to experience life’s unpredictability are key aspects of this balance.

This collective journey towards balance is shared by many. It’s a process of learning to navigate the tension between control and freedom, and finding peace in the imperfections of life.

Conclusion: Embracing the Journey Together

The illusion of control can be powerful, but it’s essential to recognize when it’s causing more harm than good. For those who find themselves in this cycle, know that you are not alone. By seeking support and working towards balance, we can all move towards a healthier and more fulfilling relationship with ourselves and our bodies. Let’s embrace the journey together, finding strength in our shared experiences and the hope for a balanced future.

[schumigrace]

why is he blaming fernando😭😭

[andoutofharm]

OKAY my timezone doesn’t get stardust for another 3.5 hours and i want to experience it Correctly so i’m gonna be offline until i hear it! love y’all and have fun ✌️

[stil-yr-sand]

tmr i gotta eat all thrre meals tho i have a soccer game and no passing out!! cuz thatd gay asf

[lunaetis]

▸▸ [ @elysiumtouched || belle & yinyue || starter call ]

─「银月」─  the CRIMSON TIDES seen from the higher vantage point looked almost like a sea of blood. the rover could hear the static noises and even screams being drown out underneath the red liquid that swept over the area so fast. if it weren't for the person standing next to her, she would've been caught in the red waves themselves. even the sky was painted in the same shade of sickening ruby. it was making her feel UNEASY, so much that she had to filter out some noises or else it'd drive her mad.

                " the tide ... it's like they're alive. " thousands of WHISPERS echoing in the air even when she tried to filter them, breaking apart as it clashed against the base of the building, spilling forth and eating up everything in its path. from where they were, she could see the mindless mechanical bodies trudging through the path before being devoured by the red tide itself. " the corrupted, you called them ? " her line of vision landed upon the other. " thank you for saving me. did you get hurt anywhere ? "

[piracytheorist]

My vegan boss: You have to learn about how eating meat pollutes the environment and pass that on to your students

Me: I don't have to do jackshit in fact the more you talk about how I "have to" do that the more I want to go get some very meaty yeero once I'm on my way home tonight

[splattershotpro]

yoooo this next challenge sounds so neat!! 2v2s, increased respawn time, tower control. I'm stoked

[cr0wra]

En noches tan inquietas como esta, en las que siento que la mismísima noche me observa como si de su presa se tratase, no hay nada que me corte la respiración y me provoque un pánico inmovilizador más que una mirada fija. Se me descompone el cuerpo, los sentidos y las entrañas se me hacen un nudo.

[daeley]

his drawing 😅