#especially with Mouthwashing bro | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

adripakoffee · 17 days ago

Text

Hold on and let me yap about my goat Swansea rq (not rq, this is almost 2k words lol)

CW: SUBSTANCE ABUSE, MOUTHWASHING SPOILERS

I'm gonna use "probably" and "most likely" a lot in this because so much of this game is from Jimmy's perspective and he dgaf about Swansea until close to the end.

Okay, so Swansea is first and foremost, a very tired, very ragged mechanic who's probably pushing 60. He doesn't want to be on that ship. He doesn't want anything. He wants, at least at first, to just be done with this job and get paid. He respects Curly but he's annoyed by and dismissive of everyone else on the ship, especially Daisuke.

So much of Swansea's character is reliant on and paralleled to his relationship with Daisuke. When he meets Daisuke, Daisuke is happy and optimistic. He looks forward to things and tries to impress Swansea when Swansea doesn't want help.

The main reason Swansea doesn't like Daisuke ties into his alcohol abuse. Daisuke is always, at almost every point we see him pre Anya locking herself in medical, happy and energetic. Swansea hates this about him because that's a state of being he hasn't achieved, in his own words, in 15 years. He can't imagine being that happy while sober and it pisses him off. He's half jealous because of that and half jealous because Daisuke is young and has a long life ahead of him. Swansea does not like the life he built for himself while sober, but that's for later. Especially after they get laid off, the only one who has anything ahead of them was Daisuke. Swansea would have trouble getting another job both because of his age and because a lot of things on Earth were being automated.

Of course, after the crash, that jealousy becomes something else. Because Daisuke is the only one who has anything ahead of them, he's the only one whose life matters. Swansea loves his family, but he doesn't really like them. He's most likely worked with Pony Express the longest, so he knows they most likely won't be saved. They have one chance left, one cryopod for one person. He's saving it for Daisuke because Daisuke is only one with a chance.

Now bringing up Anya. I think it was 2 months in when Anya told him about Jimmy. Here I'd like to correct some things I said in other posts. In my Anya rant I said "He has the one last working cryo pod set aside for her specifically and refuses to let anyone into the room where it is." He felt bad for her, no doubt, but he probably doesn't actually do that. He, more likely, tells her "Hey, there's actually a crypod left. I'm saving it for Daisuke. It's not like either of us have things waiting on the other side of this." Swansea isn't responsible for Anya in the way Curly was. He respects her well enough as coworkers but they're not at all close. He doesn't feel any real need to put her in priority, especially with the dire situation at hand. I don't think he doesn't care, it's just not something he sees in his jurisdiction. And I'm not saying there's nothing he could've done. Had literally anyone at any point in the game killed Jimmy, a lot of problems would be fixed. But, unlike Curly, Swansea doesn't have as many options.

When they open the cargo hold and he starts drinking again, he rediscovers happiness. I'd actually like to apologize for something quickly. I made a short comic in which Swansea comforts Anya after she tells him about Jimmy (which he doesn't actually do, smh bro) and in the caption I had said "I love you sm Swansea I wish you weren't an alcoholic 😔" (It's also my most popular fanart on here and I'm very thankful for that ^^)

I don't blame Swansea for his alcoholism. It's an addiction just as much as anything else and no one should have to go through that. I personally though have had bad experiences with alcoholics and I'm generally uncomfortable around them. I definitely worded that caption poorly and I apologize for that, but I had meant it in an "I wish you were sober" way. I know that the caption had rubbed people the wrong way, so I wanted to apologize.

So Swansea is drunk and happy for the first time in fifteen years. Despite his intoxicated state, he still has his one goal and that's to save the last cryopod for Daisuke. He knows that's what he wants and he sticks to it. It's just him and the ax against the world. Eventually, Jimmy takes the ax to get the extra painkillers and the ax kinda just disappears for a while. Like I have no idea where it went but Swansea has it again by the time he offs Daisuke.

Speaking of which, Swansea kills Daisuke. Framing-wise it's probably my favorite scene in the game, like the breathing and Swansea's speech. Chat, I love this scene. Anyways, Jimmy offers Swansea a drink as a "peace offering." Swansea is never sober at this point in the game but even he can appreciate a good cocktail, especially when he's been slogging mouthwash for months. Honestly, he doesn't trust Jimmy like AT ALL at this point, but Daisuke helped him with the cocktail.

Swansea is kinda putting his hopes in Daisuke. Like obviously, he's placing hope in Daisuke's survival, but I think he's also seeing this optimistic, bright-eyed kid who's struggling as himself at the start of his sobrity. Daisuke said that the reason he got this job was because he was directionless in life. He had nothing to look forward to and no goals. The difference between him and Swansea is Daisuke's parents got the job for him and Swansea had to do it himself. So in that way he started to appreciate how happy Daisuke was, which is more reason to hate that he's there.

Swansea passes out from the cocktail and when he wakes up Anya is dead and Daisuke is in critical condition. Anya's gone which means they're out of a medic so that makes Daisuke's situation a lot worse. But because Jimmy used the Isopropyl to knock out Swansea, they're out of disinfectant. They have to use mouthwash which is established early on to have too much sugar to be disinfectant. So they kinda made it worse because Swansea and Jimmy are idiots who didn't listen to Anya. After a few hours of Daisuke slowly bleeding out, Swansea mercy kills him. it. looks. so. cool. During this speech, Swansea says something along the lines of "Stick a kid with a bunch of sad-sack adults and see what he learns. Bootstraps and all that." He really hates that Daisuke is here, it's just that the reason has changed. Before the crash, Curly and Daisuke were the only two who weren't like clinically depressed. After the crash, only Daisuke can find it in himself to stay optimistic, but even his faith is dwindling (Jimmy is optimistic too, but that's because he's crazy).

Right after that, he chases Jimmy around with the ax until Jimmy ties him up and shoots him. This is when Swansea lore drops about himself. He explains that he literally has not been happy or enjoyed his life in 15 years. He's done everything he's supposed to when it comes to leading a good, healthy life, but it's not at all fulfilling. He hates his job, he doesn't look forward to seeing his family, he just killed the last speck of joy on this metal space coffin, and he has nothing to live for. He's already fallen back into addiction so even if he got back to Earth, he'd ruin his life all over again. He'd be happy, but his life would be ruined. And then Jimmy shoots him.

Now here's a little health fact! Swansea was dying the whole game. People suffering from alcohol abuse often end up drinking Listerine when other alcoholic drinks aren't available. Now I'm just speculating and projecting, but Swansea is definitely a beer guy, that's his go-to. His tolerance suggests he was a craft kinda guy (which has an ABV between 5 and 10% (idk this is from memory)) or someone who drank a lot really quickly, but the mouthwash was 14% ethanol. That, in and of itself isn't the main problem, though it is noteworthy that he was already drinking more than usual. The main problem is that drinking mouthwash will absolutely destroy your stomach and intestinal linings. Mouthwash isn't just alcohol and flavoring, there's other chemicals in it too. On a good day, you'll get a nasty stomach ache, but you'll live. One to many though, and you are dead or in a coma. Like no joke that will kill you, especially if you drink a lot of it in such a short amount of time. That's why they keep saying "that stuff will kill you before anything else will," because it's actively killing them. Swansea probably knew this but he's prone to self-destruction so he probably didn't care. Anyway, hope you enjoyed that little health fact, I love reading medical journals ask me anything.

While writing this, I paused and started scrolling on tiktok and I saw a video where someone was complaining about the sudden villainization of Swansea in the fandom. I've literally seen nothing like this, but in the video they said one of the critiques people had of Swansea was that he was just as bad as Curly for not doing anything about Jimmy. That's insane, that is a batshit crazy take and I rebuke it. For one, Swansea was never Jim's friend. He never set people up to be victimized by Jimmy, he never enabled Jimmy's behavior or tried to comfort him when he was the problem. This was just a crazy thing to say, please learn to comprehend thing beyond the main text.

Um.. uh... conclusion paragraph, I love Swansea and I love to pretend he was more proactive against Jimmy for Anya's sake, but he wasn't so it's whatever he's not real anyway. I feel like this ended up being really long, like longer than the other two but idk.

Here's the link to the Anya rant and the Curly rants I also did, that I should probably edit upon further reflection

#mouthwashing #mouthwashing swansea #mouthwashing curly #mouthwashing anya #mouthwashing spoilers #mouthwashing daisuke #i miss you king #rant post #content warning #alcohlism #swansea mouthwashing #my goat #game rants #indie games #horror #this is so long #does this count as #fanfic #long ramble

121 notes · View notes

mulletpermsicantlookaway · 4 months ago

Text

The Jockification of Jeremy, Part 4: Chase Starts Changing

(For Parts 1-3 and the earlier stories on which this was based, see the earlier posts)

Chase and I ate lunch together again that day. He attacked his lunch with gusto, and he had seconds again. I’d never seen him eat so much, but when I commented on it, he said that he was always hungry after being sick. To me, he was already starting to look a little bigger, and taller, but I said nothing about that.

His voice wasn’t hoarse or squeaky any longer, but he was still clearing his throat a lot because he thought he sounded as if he had a cold. In reality, he didn’t sound sick at all. His voice was simply lower, but he hadn’t realized it yet. I thought it was cute and very sexy. He kept saying things like, “I still sound sick” and “I sound weird” in a husky baritone that did not go at all with his small frame. I was sure his voice would get lower and sexier still; he was nowhere near being a bro yet. The thought of the changes he was going to go through filled me with an almost unbearable anticipation. I was impatient for him to complete his transformation, and yet I wanted to savor every step along the way.

We didn’t see each other that evening. I had wrestling practice, but the next day was Friday, and I had a basketball game in the evening. Chase was going to come to the game to see me play, and then he was going to spend the night at my house.

After I’d showered and changed, I walked him home with me. Up in my room, I unzipped my duffel bag and took out my dirty clothes. “Here’s a little present for you, babe,” I said, holding out my jockstrap.

“Honestly, Jeremy. That is so nasty! Do you really expect me to wear that?”

“I just thought you might want some fresh essence of Jeremy. It’s the one I wore during the game. How’s the other one I gave you doing?”

“Oh yeah, I have that. I washed it. You’re right; they really do shrink up. I can wear it just fine now. It’s weird; even though it’s clean, I just keep imagining I can smell that jock smell. It just seems to stick with me all the time, even when I’m not wearing it. I even imagine I smell it right after I get out of the shower.”

I didn’t tell him that it really hadn’t shrunk at all; his package was noticeably starting to fill it out. “Why don’t we get our homework for the weekend done now, before it’s late, and then we can relax and have some fun.”

Chase agreed eagerly. He knew exactly what I wanted to do for fun.

After we’d finished, we played some video games, and we went to bed late. It was a weekend, after all. I got Chase to wear my game jock to bed. “It’s funny how it’s all warm and tingly when I get it from you. But are you sure you don’t want to throw this in the hamper? It’s a little, well, gamey. Kind of makes me feel a bit light-headed.”

“You’re just not used to jock smell the way I am, bro.”

“Sure, Jeremy,” he said. “It’s your room,” he yawned. “If you can put up with it, so can I.” He was getting sleepy. Soon we were both out.

The next morning, I woke up before he did and took a good look at him in the early morning light. He was starting to show signs of some muscle tone. His legs were noticeably hairier, his package much larger, especially his balls. His armpits were a jungle, and soft hairs were starting to grow up to his belly button and around his nipples. His Adam’s apple was bigger and sharper than ever, and his face was looking scruffy enough to benefit from a shave. I’d better talk to Coach Sanders again on Monday, I thought. If Chase was starting to change this rapidly, he might be ready to talk to the coach before the week was out.

After he was up and out of the shower, he said in deep, smooth, sexy rumble, “Dude, have you, like, got any mouthwash or anything like that? I don’t know what’s up with my voice, but maybe gargling will help.”

Gargling didn’t help, but I just kept telling him that he sounded fine to me, which he did. I loved his sexy new voice, but Chase kept thinking he sounded weird. He went home after lunch. As it happened, I had a wrestling meet in the afternoon, and, while we texted several times, I didn’t see him again until Monday.

On Monday when I met Chase for lunch, I was almost shocked at how quickly he was changing. His pants were noticeably tight and short on him, and his shirt was tight as well. A few of the bros were looking at us funny, some of them with knowing looks. James and Steve were obviously trying not to look, but Derek and Tyler were just as obviously staring. With all that, Chase seemed not to notice his ill-fitting clothes. He seemed mostly like himself, but he acted a little spacey, as if he was having trouble concentrating. I decided I’d better talk to Coach Sanders right away. I managed to catch him between classes. He agreed that he should try to talk to Chase either tomorrow or the next day. He also assured me he would make his own observations before the end of the school day.

I didn’t hear from Chase at all that night, which was a little worrying. But the next morning, he texted me right before school: “Can u walk me to skul? Feel strange.”

I rushed to his house as fast as I could. When I got there, he looked a bit taller than the day before, but what I really noticed was his face. He was less cute but way hotter, and my cock responded by springing to attention. But he looked sweaty and pale, and when he saw me, he said, “Oh, Jeremy, babe, I’m so glad to see you! Something’s, like, really wrong with me. I feel so weird!”

He sounded pitiful and sexy and lost at the same time, and I was heartbroken. I hadn’t wanted him to suffer like this, and I needed to make it right. I wanted desperately to hold him close, cuddle, and take his fears away, but if I really wanted to help him, I needed to get him to Coach Sanders as fast as I could.

“Oh, babe, I am so sorry you’re feeling like this! I can help you,” I said, “but do you think you can walk to school with me? I can get you help as soon as we get there.”

“Um,” he considered. “Yeah, fresh air. Fresh air should help. I can make it. I think. My shoes are tight. They’re so fucking tight. Why are my shoes tight?”

Encouraging him every few steps, I managed to get him to school without an incident, but the farther we walked, the less Chase seemed to know where he was or what he was doing. It was good he was still a pretty small dude, because toward the end I had to half lift and half drag him along. Fortunately, as we got to the edge of the campus, I saw my bro Derek standing with his girlfriend Becky, talking to Tyler and Brittney. Zach Davis was standing there, too.

“Yo, Derek, Tyler, Zach!” I said, “Hey, Becky, Brittney,” I nodded at the girls. “Bros, could you do me a solid? Could you help me get my bud to Coach Sanders’s office? He’s a little out of it right now. I’m sure Coach can help.”

Derek and Tyler exchanged a meaningful look, and Zach stared at Chase, considering, as if he’d never really seen him before. Derek took charge. “No worries, bro,” he said. “We’ll take care of him. Tyler, why don’t you see Brittney and Becky to class, and I’ll catch you later. Zach, could you run and find Coach Sanders and let him know we’d like to see him in his office right away.”

Whatever he may have been thinking, Zach took off immediately with long, loping strides like the running back he was. In a flash, he’d disappeared inside the building. Tyler had quickly put his bulky frame between the girls and Chase, and he seemed anxious to get Brittney and Becky away from the scene as soon as possible. As they moved toward the main entrance, Becky seemed to be trying to get a look at what was going on, although I’m not sure how much success she had trying to peek around a large, immovable object like Tyler.

Derek was an even larger immovable object. He put a huge, calloused hand firmly on Chase’s shoulder, stared him right in the face and said loudly, “Dude, little bro, let’s go for a little walk, eh? Not much farther.” Chase gave no indication that he heard, but he did as he was told. “Don’t worry, bro,” Derek said in a quiet aside to me, “I can pick him up and carry him if I have to.”

“You’re fucking awesome, Derek,” I said. “Thanks so much. I got him all the way here by myself, but I’m not as big as you are, and I’m almost worn out.”

“No worries, bro. He’s still a little dude. Not as little as he was last week, though. Maybe in a couple more months even I might have some trouble picking him up, you think?”

Stumbling between the two of us, we shuffled and half-carried him to the coach’s office. Coach Sanders was waiting for us.

“Chase, son,” he said pleasantly. “I’m so glad you came to see me. I’ve been meaning to talk to you. I think you’d better sit down on the couch until you feel a little better.” Chase looked at him blankly. He hadn’t said a word since we’d started for school, and he still gave no sign of knowing where he was or what was going on. Coach Sanders had us bring Chase through the locker room to the room with the old couch and the TV set. Then he brought Chase a small bottle of something that looked like a sports drink. “Son, I think you’re a bit dehydrated. Drink some of this.” Chase still said nothing, gazing at him with unfocused eyes, but when the coach put the bottle to his lips, he drank several swallows. After that, he seemed calmer. He looked more relaxed and less pale and sweaty. “I think you’d better sit here a bit longer until you’ve fully recovered. Don’t worry about your classes; I’ll take care of that.” The coach continued, “Let me set up the TV for you. I have a video that I think you’ll enjoy.” He turned on the TV and queued up the video. Chase sat silent in the middle of the couch, eyes locked on the screen, his eyes now half closed.

“Derek, Jeremy,” the coach said more briskly, “Those clothes of his are too tight; he’s going to need room to breathe. Derek, could you grab a pair of shorts and a tank top from the spare practice uniforms, and Jeremy, get his pants and shirt off.”

Chase limply allowed me to take off his too-tight shoes, undo his pants and pull them off. Under his pants, he was wearing nothing but a very well-filled jockstrap, undoubtedly one of mine. Derek and I slid a pair of basketball shorts on over the jock. Removing his shirt was easier, and then we put the spare tank top on him. Coach Sanders put a headset on his ears and adjusted the audio, then he dimmed the lights.

“Is he going to be all right, Coach?” I asked in a whisper. “I’m really worried about him. He seems so out of it.”

“He’ll be fine, big guy, don’t worry! Derek, you can head to class now, but check in with me a little later, please. And thanks for your help, as always! Jeremy, plan to drop by right after school, and then you can take Chase with you to practice. He probably won’t remember much of what happened today.”

When Derek was gone, the coach added, “I’ll tell you a secret, Jeremy; Derek reacted just like Chase, and you can see how strong Derek is. Chase just started to change physically a bit faster than his mind could handle.”

It was easy for Coach Sanders to tell me not to worry, but he seemed completely calm and in control, so I tried to put my fears to rest. Again, though, I wondered what he was trying to tell me. Derek hadn’t always been a jock? That was hard to believe. Seriously, the guy was the dictionary definition of a stereotypical jock. If Derek hadn’t always been a jock, when had he changed, and what had he been like before? I mean, he was a super nice guy and an amazing football player, but even for a jock he seemed a little dense. What if Chase turned out dumb? I’d do anything for him, of course, including helping him with his homework, but how much help could I be? As Coach Sanders had pointed out weeks ago, I wasn’t the smartest guy in school. At best, I’d been a B- student before. My grades hadn’t really dropped any since my change, but school just seemed harder with all the practices and games on my schedule. I was keeping up, and I didn’t, you know, feel slow or anything, but classwork just seemed not to come easily anymore. Part of the problem, I had to admit, was that my only motivation for going to school was playing sports and hanging out with my bros. Maybe Chase was right; maybe I really was just a dumb jock now.

Whether I really was dumber or not, my classwork for that day was not going to help any of my grades; I might as well have skipped all my classes. All I could think about was Chase. The worst was my modern European history class. I had completely zoned out during the teacher’s lecture. Suddenly he flung a question at me, but I didn’t know it until some nerd, Ben something-or-other, I think, actually had to tap me on the shoulder and say, “Hey, wake up, you dumb jock, he’s asking you a question!”

It was humiliating. Of course, I had no idea what the question was, and I’m sure I sounded every bit as stupid as I felt. The whole class laughed. At least it woke me up and got me out of my funk for a bit, but I was so mad I could hardly see straight. I spent the rest of the class imagining what I was going to do to hurt that little shit Ben later, but by the time class ended, I decided he wasn’t worth the trouble. Ben wasn’t important; Chase was. Once we were out in the hall again, I glared at Ben and threw a fake punch that made him flinch, but it didn’t make me feel any better.

I could hear one of his little nerd friends, Devin, I think, saying something like, “Geez, Ben, don’t rattle the jocks’ cages. You’re just asking for it. Seriously,” he continued in a kind of stage whisper, “you don’t want to be next on their list.” Ben asked what the fuck he was talking about, and Devin said in the same whisper, “Not here, Ben, just drop it. I’ll tell you later.” And then to me he said in a more normal voice, “Ben’s really sorry, uh, Jeremy. He didn’t mean it. No need to get him in trouble.” And he hustled Ben down the hallway.

I yelled after them, “Next time it’ll be your face, nerd!”

By lunchtime, I was feeling about as low as I could remember ever feeling. There was no sign of Chase, but I didn’t expect him, of course. I sat with some of the other bros, but I just stared at my food and didn’t say much. I kept imagining people were talking about me and Chase behind my back, even though I thought only Derek and maybe Zach really knew what was going on. I didn’t see either one of them anywhere in the lunchroom. But right when lunch was ending, Derek suddenly appeared. He came up to me and said, “Look, bro, stop worrying about Chase. Coach is taking care of him. He’ll be fine. You’ll see him at practice. Trust me, bro. And Becky told me about what happened to you in your history class. Don’t worry; I talked to Coach about that, too. Your bros’ll always have your back.”

I knew Derek was trying to help, and I really appreciated it, but it was hard to be okay with Chase suffering because of me. I felt worse and worse as the afternoon dragged on. Zach reappeared later in the afternoon. He came up to me in the hall between periods and said, “Bro, cheer up, okay? Seriously, your boyfriend’s really cute, and he’ll only be getting cuter. Stop moping, dude!”

I finally reminded myself that the important thing was whether Chase was happy. I hoped he would be, but I wouldn’t find out until after school. I tried to psych myself up for how hot Chase would be once he was fully a jock, and how great it was going to be to share the same interests again the way we did before. But when the last bell rang, my heart sank. Making my way slowly down to the locker room, I wasn’t looking forward to practice at all this time. I felt as if I were going to the gallows for my own execution.

To be continued

#jockification #nerd to jock #jock transformation #jock tf #mental change

40 notes · View notes

goat-guy-tm · 2 days ago

Text

Mouthwashing headcanons that I cannot get out of my head;

Organized by character cause I'm normal

Jimmy is at the very bottom so you can skip him if you want.

This bitch is long and took me like two hours to write I wanna lay down...

Curly:

Bisexual Trans man because honestly he has a bit of t-boy swag

For some reason I have convinced myself he's 37. IDK why.

Comes from a pretty big family. He's the second eldest of 8 kids, his older sister is technically only a half sister but still.

He has two moms and one abusive/dead beat dad. Idk I can't explain it I just feel it in my brain that he's got two moms.

He's a mama's boy but in like a good way, not a weaponized incompetence way.

He's technically a nepo baby. His grandfather on his bio-mom's side is a director/board member of Pony Express, thus why Jimmy constantly talks about him "getting his life handed to him on a silver platter". His grandfather actually had nothing to do with him getting the job, as he has a different last name and no one actually realized they were related for a WHILE. He is the reason Curly dreamed of being a space-crafy poilt though.

He smokes cigarettes often. When he gets stressed he smokes a lot more, but he's in denial that it's a problem. Jimmy got him into smoking in the first place, peer preassuring him into it. Jimmy now conviently always seems to have packs of cigarettes on him during hauls when Curly never brings them, specially for when Curly gets stressed. (Not in like a gay way, in like a manipulative way to keep him subconsciously needing Jimmy in some way)

He is surprisingly strict when it comes to "no fraternizing with subordinates". He likes to keep his work and personal life seperate, and especially to not allow any feelings to be developed for any of his crew mates.

His first name is Grant, he was named after his father and eventually grew to hate his first name because of how horrible his father was, but he keeps his first name because his mom likes it on him, it helps her connect better memories to that name instead of the horrible ones his father gave her.

Jimmy was his only friend for a while, which is why he is so die hard about wanting to believe Jimmy is a good guy, plus Jimmy manipulating him for so long to believe Jimmy was the victim of a lot of stuff.

He is a fucking mountain of a man when it comes to muscles. Bro is buff as fuck and scary when he wants to be.

He's been the captain of the Tuplar since he became a captain (roughly 11 years). That ship is his baby.

Anya:

She's omni, if you asked her to really identify her sexuality she would say it's complicated, but she just says she's bisexual.

I feel like she's in her early/mid 30's for some reason? Like 33 at the time of the game. I know realistically she could more so be like, 26-28 (assuming she tried getting into med school the SECOND she was graduating high school)

She's been part of the Tuplar's crew for roughly 4 years, she was transferred to them after getting the medical certification from Pony Express to be an on-board nurse. Before that she had worked with another crew for a while.

She also smokes cigarettes. Significantly less than Curly does, but she still does from time to time. She started after her 4th try into med school, where she then got extremely drunk to cope with failing again, and had drunkenly bought a pack of cigs. She eventually regretted it, but was also in such a low point mentally that she thought "why the hell not" and started smoking regularly. Eventually she smoked more when stressed, which was when she was studying or getting ready for an exam of some kind. Because of this her regular smoking went to her smoking a fuck ton before and after stressful events (mostly tests) because her body has subconsciously attached to that helping her study.

She is an only child. Her mother died when she was a teen, which eventually led to her and her father having an estranged relationship. After her mother's death, her father went into an almost debilitating depressive state, becoming an extreme workaholic and albeit unintentionally neglecting Anya during her teen years. Now-a-days they are doing much better and are trying to reconnect with each other. Her father adores her and becomes devastated when news of her death on the Tuplar eventually reached him.

While Anya is not shy in any way, she is commonly seen as so simply because she keeps to herself a lot.

She worries quite a lot about money since her family didn't make a lot in the first place, and her mother was a big financial gash on them, which led to pretty extreme finance anxiety.

She's actually a big horror fan, especially horror books and often gets a bit too into them and feels like she's being weird about them, but no, she just really likes them.

Her intrest in phycology is spurred on by this, as reading phycology books makes her start to wonder about villian's reasonings. Jimmy would have been an interesting case for her if he hadn't been who he was.

If asked about any of her interests she will start to excitingly info dump, only to get embarrassed and stop, and refusing to continue when told it's fine.

Caffeine addict. She gets ungodly amounts of extra esspresso in any coffee she drinks.

She would read Warrior Cats.

Daisuke:

Pansexual trans guy. You see that Hawaiian shirt? That's peak t-boy swag right there. Lost his mind when he learned Curly was trans too.

Most likely either 20 or 21, making him the baby of the crew. Swansea balks at him every time Daisuke mentions it cause he's the same age as Swansea's kids.

He is autistic, one of the biggest reasons he has trouble figuring out what he wants to do with his life as he physically is not capable of imagining what his life will be like a few months from the present.

He would have been a DeviantArt kid, and an Animal Jam kid.

He gave the whole crew fursonas within the first week of working there. He also gave them ponysonas, but then he threw away Jimmy's after hearing what he said about Polle.

I feel like he has an affinity for small bugs. He loves saving them from being stuck in rooms, and get actually really angry when someone kills one for no reason. He snapped at Jimmy once for smushing an ant that had somehow gotten onto the ship. Reasonably there was no way to save it but Daisuke was still pissed about it.

He has a pretty strained relationship with his mother, even though he is still actively trying to gain her approval. His dad is pretty removed from his life, his dad is there, but anytime Daisuke asks his dad to stand up for him or anything his dad just shrugs and tells him to just talk it out with his mom. His mom doesn't want to talk it out. That's why he tries to get Swansea's approval, and especially feels bad when he gets injured in the vents Swansea specifically told him not to touch. (His cousins are the ones to hold the funeral for him, his mother says she wishes he would have at least done something productive before dying like that. [she's half an asshole, half going through immense guilt])

He is an only child. He had always wanted to be a big brother, and had asked for a little sibling so many times but his parents kept refusing, eventually he stopped asking but he still wished he could have been an older brother.

He has a really weird addiction to root beer.

I can't explain it but I feel like he'd be a big SCP Foundation nerd.

Swansea:

CisHet ally. Everyone is scared he is homophobic when they first meet him, but he knew his kids were gay before they did.

He was a veteran. Ended up getting medically discharged which was one of the things leading him into his alcoholic days.

He has three kids; two daughters and one son.

He has been working on the Tuplar almost as long as Curly. He joined the original original crew about 5 years into Curly being captain.

If Curly wasn't the only one allowed to use the food synthesizer and if they had actual food on the ship he would have been cooking meals for the crew every night to feel like he was at home again.

He pretends to hate it, but his music taste is 90% white girl pop. He also listens to like metal and rock, but still.

A girl dad through and through. His daughters are the world to him. Extra why he was so pissed and passive aggressive with Jimmy after Anya told him what he did to her.

Had a punk 'phase' during his teens. Still punk in beliefs, just not apparencies.

He's one of those old Brexit geezer types.

He and Curly keep betting on football (soccer) whenever not on hauls. Spoiler; Curly keeps losing.

His family and Curly's are actually surprisingly close. Whenever their respective family members are off on hauls during the holidays the two families spend them together.

I like to imagine his wife's name is Ophelia. I can't explain why, I just feel like she has some ethereal real pretty name.

His wife and Curly's moms have girls nights every week. Eventually Anya got roped into them when the ladies learned of her (to Curly's dismay).

He won't admit it, but he acted like a dad even before Daisuke joined the crew. He found himself often looking out for Curly when he thought the younger wasn't taking care of himself.

He has hand made bracelets from all his kids in his dorm. He hides them to keep up the tough guy act.

Jimmy: (cw; mentions of obsession, codependency and referenced suicide)

He thought he was bisexual, but it actually is just a really bad obsession with Curly. Otherwise I chose not to think about his sexuality.

He is the same age as Curly, 37, but maybe a few months younger than him (which is another thing he holds against Curly for some reason).

He joined the Tuplar crew a few years before Anya did, but wasn't promoted to co-pilot until the year Anya joined the crew.

He unironically uses Reddit and 4chan

One of his only hobbies includes doxing kids online.

He is like, the worst kind of brony you could have the misfortune of meeting.

He is an orphan and has been since his pre-teen years. It's what left him with nothing and did horrible things to his mental perception of his life.

He met Curly when they were both about high school age. He instantly became attached to him and would get extremely jealous when Curly would seem to have any other friends beside him.

Because of this he became very manipulative to Curly, constantly playing the victim card and then acting like Curly not believing him meant Curly hated him. This got to Curly pretty bad, and is one of the only reasons they stayed friends for so long.

The only reason he got into weight lifting is because he knew Curly worked out regularly, but it never really entertained him so he barley did it.

He thought he held power over Curly, unbeknownst to him he had actually made himself quite co-dependent on him.

The only reason he started working for Pony Express was because Curly had. He became quite angry though when they were not originally put onto the same crew, and weren't until Curly was promoted to a captain and given his own ship.

This is when he started the "Curly gets whatever he wants and was handed his life" thought, trying to find any way to reason why Curly was promoted so young and fast but he wasn't.

Even with his obsession with Curly, he doesn't spend a lot of time with him outside of hauls. His feelings would filp flop between obsession and disgust towards him. It doesn't help that Curly's family doesn't like him anymore.

He calls Curly 'Grant' because he knows Curly hates it and only ever does it to piss him off and then call him an asshole for getting mad at him, cause they are supposed to be friends, aren't they?

In his mind, if he isn't in some way better than Curly then he is nothing.

It wouldn't be till before he takes his own life that he realizes Curly is his life and has been since they were teens, and that without Curly he felt like he was nothing.

#mouthwashing game #mouthwashing #jimmy mouthwashing #curly mouthwashing #anya mouthwashing #swansea mouthwashing #daisuke mouthwashing #mouthwashing hc #mouthwashing headcanon #tw jimmy #tw suicide #tw sui implied

15 notes · View notes

kavehpilled · 5 days ago

Text

mouthwashing rant the brainrot is terrible

TIRED of the captian curly slander. bro had no options. “shove jinglebells into a cryopod” “use a weapon on jambalaya” did we just skip over the part where he is a chronic people pleaser and that jimmy is a literal psychological manipulator. yea curly couldve done more but seriously was he going to waste an entire crypod on jimmy?? what if something bad happened? knowing the pony express they could ALL lose their jobs for mistreatment of equipment, their pay could get cut for misdemeanor etc etc. curly also was trying to think with everyones best interest in mind. not only is jimmy an unreliable narrator who probably blocked out important details about what happened to curly, but also we didnt get to see the story from curlys perspective and thats the whole point. toxic masculinity is such a prominent factor between both curly and jimmy especially and this probably played a huge part in both of their trivial decisions (jimmy crashing the tulpar, albeit a bad decision is rooted in his own ideals of masculinity & curly choosing to stay silent about everything is a direct parallel of this). a captain goes down with his ship but so do his morals people

#does this make sense. at all #mouthwashing

8 notes · View notes

trendywaifus · 5 days ago

Note

I just finished Mouthwashing before reading your post!! Watching the events in sequence after playing the game really makes you understand the characters and the events better.

SPOILER

Poor Anya man I'm so emotional rn she seems like such a nice person. She truly did deserve so much better. She's truly my favourite. And I feel so bad for Daisuke too!! Poor sunshine boy he's so relatable. Not being good at things even after trying your best. I absolutely hate hate hate you know who for everything he did to our poor Anya, to Daisuke, to Swansie, to Curly, especially Anya. I may not like Curly that much but omg.

They did such an amazing job writing the characters and each and every single detail about them.

i had to rewatch manlybadasshero’s play through a few times to pick up on clues that i glossed over or didn’t understand at first. there’s still some things that are unclear but are clearly left for interpretation by the devs.

you can hate the worst person in the game *coughhhh * j****** and still like his writing. characters like him and curly are truly well done but are the types of people you would not like irl. but likke..can’t you believe people are romanticizing j***** like bro..so loco..

omg daisuke such a cutie, i really felt bad. he tried his best. swansea is so underrated with his beer belly.

anya ohhhh anyaaa..

#trendy

6 notes · View notes

imgaybutsoisurmom · 2 years ago

Text

since i personally struggled with brushing my teeth a lot, here's some extra tips/products that I've found to be immensely helpful:

water flossers bro i literally could not bring myself to floss like ever. i didn't like the feeling of something being shoved between my teeth, I never felt like I did a good enough job, and I found the little floss picks to just be wasteful. so, I bought a water flosser. this one I like a lot bc it has a tank that doesn't need to be refilled often, I can fill the tank with mouthwash as well, it has a bunch of attachments including a brush, and on the not good days (especially if it has mouthwash in it) my teeth will feel clean enough if I just used the water flosser. if i could only recommend one thing on this list, it's this one.

toothpaste i am quite the toothpaste snob. i have issues with the texture and taste of toothpaste so finding the right one for me is super hard. i also know that fluoride can be pretty controversial, so my recommendation is the boka brand. rather than using fluoride, it uses nano hydroxyapatite to help remineralize enamel instead. i like this one a lot bc it doesn't have as intense of a gritty texture that i find most toothpastes to have and it doesn't just come in mint. the lemon lavender that I've been using has been *chef's kiss*

toothbrush this is the one i personally use. it's simple, stays charged for a long ass time, and has a timer so i know when to switch up where I'm brushing, but it's also fucking expensive and i get that. tbh, just find something that you a) can afford and b) will use. that's the most important part.

ultimately, just find things that makes your routine not feel like an absolute chore for me, buying the "right" equipment to take care of my teeth made me feel a lot more pumped to do my self-care/hygiene routine in the morning. i remember when i was younger, i had a singing toothbrush that would play 2 mins of like a justin bieber song and i thought that was the coolest shit ever. take care of your teeth, it's too goddamn expensive not to (and if you need a brushing buddy, plz don't be afraid to hmu)

if you can do one thing today, brush your teeth

you can still get clean from a shower even if you don't take one for weeks

your room can still be tidied even if you haven't touched it in months

you can reach your peak strength in the gym even if you haven't been in years

but your teeth will not forgive you so easily

You. Will. Bounce. Back.

your teeth will not. take care of them, you only have so many

ideas (some of which i use!) that could help:

have a tooth brushing song. everything is improved with a bop!

buy whatever toothpaste and toothbrush makes you happy, no matter who it's marketed for! i love sparkly toothpaste

@brosser-les-dents will post reminders to brush your teeth! follow them if you benefit from internet nudging

find someone in your time zone and be brushing buddies with them! you let them know when you're brushing your teeth, and they do the same! doing stuff with someone is often way easier than doing it alone

feel free to add more stuff that helps you take care of your teeth!!!

#brush your teeth #hygiene #dental care #selfcare

439 notes · View notes

365trbl · 5 years ago

Text

sibling dynamics

mother and son

they lived away from the rest of their family so they kinda had to rely on each other a lot

especially kenta because he had a medical thing going on which meant that he had to rely on her but she didn’t mind one bit

you can’t really tell that they’re siblings from their looks but when you stick them together,, their interactions make it very obvious ,,,

she still dotes on him to this day like he’s a five year old

he’s a little less clingy but he’s still very stuck onto her

“nope she’s MINE!”

kenta has said that yura was basically like the mother that he wishes they both had which ,, lowkey made her cry ,,,,

she’s the only person allowed to bully him

but she’d never do it she just likes to have the option

“I AM NOT ADORABLE! I MAKE PEOPLE SHAKE IN PURE TERROR!”

a lot of v lives together

they hype each other up a lot

big uwu energy

but also big dumb energy

“time isn’t real”

“bro im so sophisticated last week i bought a whole vegetable”

“I UNDERSTAND NOTHING!”

“ I’m bored wanna drink mouthwash ”

“🤪🤙”

“how did you make that into speech what the,,,”

she cried when she saw kenta on stage at inkigayo cause she literally had no idea he was becoming an idol so like when she saw him she was like that’s my brother ?? that can’t be him he’s so big ?? but then she realised and she just erupted into tears on stage

like you’re not a little kid i have to protect anymore you a whole ass man

but no matter how old they are they’re still always gonna be taking care of each other

they’re literally adorable help ;(

#blackpink #bts #exo #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop x reader #seventeen #male addition #male additions #male idols #kenta #tokyokocnet #kumokocnet #koclovebot #pinkocnet

19 notes · View notes

actuallylorelaigilmore · 7 years ago

Text

The Hopes And Fears Of All The Years, Part One

HAPPY BIRTHDAY @mossdonnatella!!! A silly and delightful AU for a silly and delightful friend--one that only you would ever have requested. To understand this fic, you have to know the Goat Guy story.

Penelope x Schneider, One Day At A Time. Also on AO3.

“Ah! You are back again! Have you married your son off yet? I can raise my offer to nine goats and three chickens for your son to marry my daughter.”

The woman rolled the ‘r’ in ‘raise’ dramatically, which fascinated Schneider enough that he almost didn’t noticed the daughter a few feet away. Her curls were still springing in every direction, but she seemed taller this year.

She offered him a small smile, and a shrug, clearly accustomed to the way her mother liked to tease the customers.

1992.

Schneider’s upbringing was not especially religious. Father wasn’t a spiritual or sentimental man; after he remarried, his new wife was indifferent to faith. And Schneider’s mother didn’t have any beliefs he was aware of--certainly none that had taken root in him during his first few years.

His second stepmother, who became a severe and sometimes cruel presence in his life when he was nine, wouldn’t even let the staff celebrate the holidays. If she had a religion, Schneider wanted no part of it.

But right before his fourteenth birthday, his father met Mila on a business trip and things changed for the better.

Mila was from exotic Los Angeles. She was kind to him. And when she and Father married, it was understood that she would travel back home to California several times a year.

It was her idea to take Schneider along in the winters, giving him a break from the cold and pulling him into her cheerful Christmas traditions.

Caroling displays downtown, fake snow surrounding the palm trees...his third stepmom really loved Christmas.

And though he put slim odds on her surviving the first year of marriage to Father, Schneider loved her. So he went willingly, to the weirdly warm part of America where she showed him off at festive concerts and introduced him to the confusing spectacle of Catholic Mass.

Her favorite event, she told him that year, was Bethlehem.

“The church goes all out,” Mila said, patting her hair in front of the hall mirror. "Started doing it back when I was a girl. They rent this massive building, and fill it with animals and stalls and everyone is in costume and in character.”

“Costumes?” Schneider slouched next to the door, waiting for her to finish getting ready. He was hoping the mouthwash he’d used and the expanse of Father’s towncar between them would keep Mila from catching the alcohol on his breath. The maid needed to learn to hide her stash better. “What kind of characters?”

"Well, like people in Bethlehem.” Mila sighed at his blank expression. The boy’s father wouldn’t let her take him to church regularly, he called it ‘nonsense.’ She suspected it would do Schneider good to believe in something.

“It’s like an old-fashioned town marketplace. When you enter, they give you pennies and you can trade them for little presents,. Then there are real sellers with food and crafts you can buy with your own money.”

Schneider nodded. Mila patted his cheek on their way out. “And they have the best apple cider you’ve ever tasted in your life. You’re going to love it, sweetie.”

Compared to Vancouver in December, L.A. was a tropical paradise, but Mila made him wear a coat and hat anyway. The hat was brown and knitted and his neck itched.

“Just remember,” Mila told him as they waited to enter, those around him shivering in what apparently passed for cold there. “Everybody’s in character. It might seem weird at first but I promise, it’s fun.”

The place was buzzing with crowds of people once they got in. Schneider couldn’t figure out where to look. Loud men walked the aisles with trays of snacks, their accents reminding him that he was far from home. Colorful booths were full of clothes and handmade gifts and old books.

As they strolled past the booths, his gaze was drawn to one selling ponchos. The woman standing inside it was gesturing broadly while she spoke rapid Spanish with a customer. She was petite, inches shorter than Schneider since his recent growth spurt, but her volume carried down the corridor.

The ponchos were cool...though he couldn’t imagine wearing one back in the ‘Couve. They were as bright as the Latin lady’s laugh, which rang out as he and Mila arrived at the stall.

“Ay, welcome, friends!” She startled Schneider by pressing her lips to both his cheeks.

“What a handsome young man. I think this must be your first time to my stall. I am sure I would remember ju.”

He shot Mila a panicked look, but she just smiled and nodded as if to say, Play along.

“Um, thank you. I like your...stuff.”

“What a flatterer. You know, you seem strong--and intelligent. You would make a very good husband for my daughter. This is your mother? I’ll give you six goats for your son’s marriage to my daughter.”

Schneider spotted a teenage girl half-hidden behind a stack of ponchos, looking absolutely mortified. That must be the daughter, he thought, watching her glare in her mother’s direction like she would rather be anywhere else in the world. He couldn’t blame her.

He was so embarrassed that he didn’t even bother to correct the woman about him and Mila not being related.

His stepmom shook her head with a polite chuckle. “That’s a very kind offer, of course, but we could not possibly accept. He’s far too young to be married.”

With one last glance behind him at the women and their ponchos, Schneider followed Mila as she moved on.

1993.

Surprisingly, Mila was still his stepmom when Christmas arrived again.

Schneider heard her screaming at his dad sometimes, about his former nannies and babysitters and women at the office. But he was still stinging from how easily Father had dismissed his dream of becoming an entertainer, and he didn’t want to know about their problems.

He had figured out the ideal ratio for watering down wine in the cellar to make the bottles look the same, and the estate’s cook took so many casual swigs of sherry and Schnapps during meal prep that Schneider’s attempts to drown his feelings were easy to hide.

Mostly, leaving for Los Angeles again was a relief.

Now that he knew what to expect, Schneider was actually excited for his second trip to Bethlehem. Mila was right, that apple cider was amazing...and he wanted to see if the man who built music boxes was still there. This year he was determined to buy one and see if he could figure out how it worked.

Before the apple cider though, and before the woodworking stalls, they came upon a cheerful array of ponchos, and he realized the woman from last year was beckoning him closer.

“Ah! You are back again! Have you married your son off yet? I can raise my offer to nine goats and three chickens for your son to marry my daughter.”

She offered him a small smile, and a shrug, clearly accustomed to the way her mother liked to tease the customers.

Schneider was bewildered by the woman’s attention. Somehow, a year later, she still remembered him and the woman she had been trying to give goats to? He didn’t think he’d ever remained in someone’s memory for an entire year.

He was certain Father forgot for long periods of time that he even had a son. And after bringing him into the world, his mother had vanished and never looked back.

Mila refused the offer again. “Not enough goats,” she said with a wink in his direction.

Schneider exchanged mortified looks with the daughter, and he and his stepmom went in search of cider. But when the woman at the poncho waved farewell, adding a phrase in Spanish he didn’t understand, her smile stayed with him.

1994-1997.

It happened again. And again. For two more years, Mila took him to California for Christmas and they went to Bethlehem and without fail--without shame--the poncho lady tried to trade goats for his marriage to her daughter.

Then Mila caught Father with Rebecca, and a vengefully tossed mint julep was the end of that.

Though Schneider was far too old for a nanny, Rosa was somehow back in the picture before business took them all to America. Father married her as soon as the divorce papers were dry.

Before things fell apart, Pepperdine had been Mila’s idea. A Christian school to help him clean his life up, in Malibu, where he’d be near her family.

He went anyway, after she was gone, because the tuition was paid and it didn’t really matter anymore, where he was or what he did.

But it was too weird to talk to Mila, let alone see her, now that she wasn’t his stepmom. Father called her ‘that woman’ and berated Schneider over any ties they still had to each other, real or imaginary.

Drinking until he couldn’t spell his own name was easier than fighting about it. Lines of cocaine that turned him into somebody else entirely washed the worst of it away.

He stopped returning Mila’s calls, and he let his student visa expire, and he happily forgot all about Bethlehem along with everything else that used to make him happy.

Until he landed in rehab, and it was Mila--not Father, not Rosa, not the bros of Full Sail, but Mila, who he hadn’t spoken to in more than a year--who showed up and yelled and hugged and sat by his side while he cried.

She wasn’t his stepmother anymore, but she was the closest thing he had, at twenty, to a real parent.

After he left the detox center, she invited him to join her again at Bethlehem.

#alvareider #odaat #one day at a time #penelope x schneider #schneider x penelope #alvareider fanfic #alvareider fic #odaat fic #odaat fanfic #one day at a time fanfic #one day at a time fic #my fic #mossdonnatella #Happy Birthday!#i mean idk what this is but it's fun

17 notes · View notes

the-mf-bread-babies · 4 years ago

Text

loneliness </\///\|/3

a fic by rocco wulfram north, m.d.

(found that name on hardcore baby names)

–chmapter jop–

before the tríp

It was a normal day for the Skullsmashers: go to somewhere, kill people, be gay, sleep, get brunch. Right now was the first part of their daily routine, and they were getting ready for it.

“holy fuck nova could you hurry the shit up i have to brush my fucking teeth you bitch” Ace hissed, knocking repeatedly on the bathroom door. “Fuck You. I'm Going To Go To Hell Itself” Nova gargled back, mouth full of mouthwash. More banging was heard; the door had seen better days.

Several feet away was Jake, all dressed up and ready to go, waiting for the others to get ready. He sat on the couch gayly in the living room down the hall, scrolling through Apocalypse Twitter. ‘every day i throw down an unpeeled boiled egg from the rooftop to simulate fear and unreadiness’ he read, a tweet from Orc's account. What the fuck. Classic Orc.

“ah fuck !! am i late !!” Jake turned around to see Damon panicking and counting the daggers in his pockets. “no no not at all. i just get ready really quickly to throw everyone into a state of disarray” Jake replied in an honest, monotone voice. “come sit down”

Damon sat down nervously next to his captain, knowing he'll ask him for Bambi on the PS2 now. “look. look at them those dumbshits” Jake uttered, pointing to Ace and Nova arguing. “those little bastards are completely unaware that ive put a fake cockroach puppet in the mirror. watch now” he added, pulling out a cheap remote control and pressing a button.

*sound of glass breaking* Jake sighed. “okay maybe that wasn't really the best idea” Nova screamed, running out of the bathroom and confusing Ace. “Fucking Roach!!!!!!!!!!!!!” she yelled, already too far away from them to be heard clearly. “huh. well okay then!” Ace grinned, going into the bathroom.

“i'll guard. you do your thing okay? :-)” Damon said to Jake, smiling mischievously. Jake's heart skipped a beat as he was suddenly flustered by the killer's action. «oh god, shit's just gonna get more complicated from here» he thought, staring into nothingness.

Damon braced himself against the bathroom door, eager to hear Ace's chaotic screaming. “ready ??” Damon asked, sending Jake back to the real world. “hhuh??????? oh yea right” he mumbled before beginning to control the cockroach with the remote. “this shit cost me like 200 bucks so it better be worth it”

HOLY MOTHER OF

F U C K

JAKE JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

WHAT THE S H IT DUDE

ace will remember this.

Jake cackled loudly, rolling on the floor and hitting the table with his fist. “LMAOOOOK FUCK YOUUU” he yelled, angering Ace even more. “I WILL GODDAMN SKIN UOUR FUCKIGN ISTINEDSTINES OLD MAN I SWEAR TKC FUCKF” they yelled back, pushing the door repeatedly. “IM GOIND TO FUCKIGN DIR HERE YOU BITCH”

“ah . ace ? could you move a little please ? i'm trying to get in ?” Damon said annoyingly kindly, making Ace jab a fake knife through the space between the door and the doorway. “THIS IS THE BEST FUCKIGN KNIFE I HAVE ON ME RIGT NOW BUT PLEADR JSUT FUCK O F F”

“hm ... i'll have to check in with the blacksmith today to know what this one's worth... possibly rusted here, though.... could also just be dirt tho.....” Damon mumbled, examining the knife. “FUCKING HEL P” Ace yelled in distress, his breath seeping through the door. “ace. brush your fucking teeth that's disgusting.”

“IM FUCKIF D TRYINF THERES JUST A FUCKGIFN ROSCH HEREERF” Ace explained fearfully, trying their best to get some pity from the other. “a what ?? don't think we have those here” “A FUCKIFN COKROSKC” “corrosion ???? how bad” “FUCK YOU A GODDMAND COKCROACH” “girls?? what?? are they milfs??” “HOW THEE DFUCKDB DID YEOU HEAR FTHAY WHATS DUCUNESKRHI”

Jake's hand slapped against Damon's shoulder as a way of saying thanks. “good work out there soldier. us skullsmashers really need someone like you damon” He said confidently, disguising his flirting as a compliment. “cool !! you too man !!” The shorter man replied, completely unaware of the flirting and continuing to yearn for the mutual love between him and Jake. fuckin idiots lmao

“alrighty fuckers, let's move!”

Rachel's voice sent Ace and Nova into a panic, making them scram to look for their weapons and equipment. “Got everything ya need? W'ain't makin' any stops; tryin'a save fuel.” Shaw asked, leaning against the wall at the entrance menacingly. “When the fuck did you even come here.” Dennis asked in surprise, carrying suitcases. “Hmph. Man never tells his secrets, young man.” She replied, tilting her cowboy hat. “What…”

Aaron was sitting peacefully in the trunk of a pickup truck they had, only to be met by a large backpack to the face. “ah!!!!!!!! very sorry!!!!!!! we'll be going in separate vehicles, and trunk space is very much needed!!!!!!!!” Whitney said, apologizing. “Ah. Well. O-okay then.” Aaron stuttered out, holding back tears from the painful impact the backpack had. Pretty sure he'll get a bruise from that.

Henderson and Rachel were waiting in the front seats of yet another pickup truck. To pass the time, they took very cringey pictures of each other pretending to be on Cowboy TikTok™. “Do one where you're pregnant with the truck's baby!” Henderson suggested, making Rachel flip the bird at her but begrudgingly agreeing with her stupid idea. “i literally would skin you alive.” She spat out, putting a pumpkin inside her shirt. “That's… literally so sexy, babe.” Henderson replied back, taking more pictures.

Meanwhile, Andre was busy explaining to Cyprus, who was in a small glass jar, that forcibly entering Damon's bloodstream and mutilating his entire body was not very nice, with Orc and Sarah judging. “YES BUT UNLIMITED POWER COULD BE RIGHT IN OUR HANDS ANDRE” “That'd very mean of you to do, and could actually probably kill you too in the process.” he explained to deaf ears. Well, technically no ears. Yet. “CYPRUS I KNOW IT SOUNDS STUPID BUT YOU COULD LITERALLY DO THE SAME BUT LIKE IN AN ELEPHANTS BODY DUDE” Orc suggested, only to be ignored. “cmon cyprus just pleaaaaase dont kill ppl ok”

Jake looked outside, then back at Damon. “well guess its time to move!” “yea ... but at what cost.” Damon replied confusingly, making a sad face. “did you know today is…” he started, then regretted saying anything. “nvm…” He turned away from the punk, sniffling and walking to Dennis and Aaron.

“damon” “??” Jake asked quietly, craning his neck a little before making the decision to leave the new recruit alone. Instead, he joined Henderson and Rachel in their odd activities.

“hey guys. i fucking miss sans.” Damon confessed, taking a seat next to Dennis. “My nose is bleeding.” Aaron pointed out. “ok. today's sunday. and you Know what That Means… Meant,” The boy continued, facing the ground. “Kanye West he…” Dennis began (begun???? idk). “… liked.” Aaron continued, also affected emotionally by the departure of not only Sans, but Komaeda too.

Jake stared longingly at the family, wishing he was a part of it too. He truly felt Ariel Little Mermaid's desire to become human. Seven Vagánias… that was a risk he was willing to take for him. He would shave his eyebrows off for that man, and he just might do it right now.

“Jake? Don't do that. Please don't fucking do that.” Henderson suddenly interrupted, surprising Jake. “do what” Henderson squinted her eyes, giving Jake a suspicious look. “That's the face you make when you want to do silly things…” She pointed out.

“You had that when you almost electrocuted yourself at that stable, you had that when you threw the dart at Scoran, you had that when you glued Marcus and Reese–” “OKAY OKAY I GET IT IM A DUMMY SILLY LITTLE BITCH BOY OK”

Rachel put the pumpkin back on the ground and went to the two friends, curious to know what the quarrel was about. “what's poppin gayboy!” She loudly asked, slapping Jake's forearm strongly. “i am in peril and shaking and crying” “daddy issues” “yget?” He explained, gesturing towards the Russells.

“ah. please clarify what kind.” Rachel said, knowing Jake has a very questionable taste for fictional middle-aged men, such as Sigma Overwatch and the guy from the cowboy game. “the fuckin. family one rachel” “look at em just vibing and simply being gay”

Rachel and Henderson gave eachother a look that questioned whether Damon and Jake were going to be a thing or not, since Jake's technically still with Andre. “Considering the fact that they adopted Damon, they could probably also adopt you if you wanted to.” Henderson suggested, knowing Jake wouldn't like this and would stupidly unknowingly accidentally confess his love for Damon to them both right then and there.

“what?????” “ew no thatd be fuckin incest or some shit what the fuck” Jake said, being grossed out. “what would be the incestuous part, jacon. we did not say or hint at anything related to incest.” Rachel asked, making Jake's hair stand up in panic. “fuCKIN NOTHING DUH” “BUT LIKE YKNOW I GET CRUSHES REALLY EASILY YEA??????” Jake explained weirdly.

“So there's a new one right now, huh…” Henderson asked… feeling like she was in Ace Attorney. “no!!!! no wait” “well yea– no.. but i–” “fuck You but yes” Jake grumbled. “ah no, we won't tell, obviously. it was just getting way too obvious, so we just wanted to hear it from both sides.” “WH” Rachel said mysteriously, getting into the driver's seat of the pickup truck. “okay guys let's go!!” She yelled out, starting the engine. “THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN??????” “BOTH SIDES???”

chapter dos

two four trucks

The journey to god knows fuckin where idk didn't plan i guess a fuckin cabin or smth idk was long and torturous, especially when Rachel said that cryptic-ass thing before going. What the fuck was that supposed to mean, bro.

sudden interlude for seating arrangements !!

truck 1: Henderson, rachel, whitney, CYPRUS

truck 2: jake, damon, marge, Andre, Aaron

truck 3: ace, Nova, Dennis

truck 4: sarah, ORC, Shaw, viper

truck two.

Jake awkwardly patted Marge's head in the backseat of the truck, avoiding eye contact with Damon and Andre. Of course he had to go on a three-day trip in the same car with his ex, his crush, AND his crush's father. God, he was pretty sure this was the lab rats' doing.

“cows.” Damon pointed outside, earning Andre's attention. “Holy– what are those?” He asked, taking his sunglasses off to admire the beautiful little cows. “Cows… we drink their milk and wear their skin as jackets…” Aaron explained, his eyes drifting from the road momentarily. “They can have best friends and stuff. Really nice guys. Also, they're expensive as hell.”

“Y–You do what. Their skin??” Andre asked, his voice a pitch higher than usual. “yeah and we rate them based on which layer it is. also, like their meat, expensive as hell. but still very cool.” Damon said, confusing Andre even more. “they also give us cheese and ice cream and whipped cream and stuff. underrated little babies. they deserve better.” “they also have nose rings which are punk as hell–”

“Wait, why the nose– cheese?! Cheese?! AND ice cream??!” Andre asked again, his mind attempting to comprehend the greatness that cows are. “Oh man, you are not ready to hear about pigs.” Aaron said jokingly. “What the fuck are pigs???” “Sausages, ham slices, bacon, lard, leather too, rotisserie–” “aaron please i'm gonna throw up.” “Oh, right. Sorry,”

Jake sat quietly in his seat, just now realising how much of his world Andre's missing. Sure, his world was much cooler, but do they have sheep? Palm trees? Penguins? Thought not, bitch. “andre do you know what a kangaroo is” He asked, breaking his silence like that one YouTuber.

“A what?” “kangaroo. some of them are buff as shit and they move by hopping. they cant hop backwards and they also keep their babies in little pouches attached to them and their bones and guts are exposed on the inside of said pouch. baby kangaroos are about the size of a jellybean, and the adults can box you”

“They what” “yea they're weird as fuck.” “its from australia so” “That sounds fake.” “oh man. wombats bro. quokkas. fuckin drop bears and flying foxes. PLATYPUSES!!!” “wombats poop in cubes and quokkas are always smiling” “Koala bears hold onto tree branches and eat their mom's shit, which is the leaves of said tree branches.” “Please stop what the fuck” “ohoho fucking GEESE” “GET IM JAKE MY NEIGHBOR HAD FUCKIN THREE OF THOSE BITCHES”

truck three.

The three sat silently, with the exception of Dennis, who was swearing at random times. “You call that a fuckin’ turn, old man?! HUH?!!” Ace's shoulders jumped, the sudden exclamations preventing them from sleeping through the trip. “This Is Probably The Last Time We'll See Each Other Alive.” Nova stated calmly. “i slept for like two minutes last night… didn't even get to wear conditioner today. unrelated but just sharing my struggles with you.” Ace said, shifting into a more comfortable sleeping position.

Dennis overheard the two talking, and opted to stay quiet for the rest of the trip, before stumbling across a strange sight. “FROG!!!” he yelled, waking up the duo. “he said fuck! he said the f” Ace yelled out while rubbing their eyes. “Are We Aliven't” Nova asked, stretching. “Sadly, no, but the good news is, I found a frog!” Dennis excitedly said, opening the car door.

“WHAT” “THAT SHITS GONNA POISON US WHAT THE FUCK” Nova yelled out, unfortunately not loud enough for Dennis to hear it. The man kept walking towards the creature that was technically an alien to them, and picked it up with watery hands. “DENNIS YOU'RE GONNA FUCKING KILL US ALL!!!!!!! DENNIS!!!!!!”

“So, you kids know how to handle a frog?” Dennis asked in a wholesome tone, alerting the two even more. “KILL IT KILL IT FUCKING KILL IT” “Oh, are you guys allergic to this little guy? Sorry, I'll put it in the dashboard instead.” “GET ITBOUT WHAT THE FUCK DENNID JESUS” “… Huh?” “POSIOJ DART FOGR” Nova shouted, hiding behind the passenger seat and being pushed by Ace, who was also going to hide there. “BITCH”

Dennis and the frog stared at them in confusion, hearing their horrified screams. “This is… a wood frog… not a poison dart… that one would probably die in this climate…” he explained plainly, his hands gently cupping the newfound friend. “oh. ok” Ace muttered quietly, while Nova maintained an awkward silence. “You can… pat them very softly if you want.” Dennis suggested. “Or spray the shit outta them. That could work too.”

Nova nervously held out her hand to pat the frog, then smiled in succeeding to do so. “Death Quivers Before Me” She said, proceeding to pat it even more. “can i do the spray thing.” Ace asked, their voice quiet as a whisper. “Yeah, sure. Go right ahead.”

*the frog was going to die so technically they didnt like fuck up the ecosystem or smth. do not attempt this irl.

truck four.

“What jolly tunes d'ya have on this here truck. Fellas.” Shaw asked, observing the radio. “uh, really, i don't think it'll be necessary!!!!!” Viper nervously said, only to be ignored. “NONSENSE! ONE'S TASTE IN SHANTIES PROVES TO BE A WINDOW INTO THEIR LIVES.” Orc said wisely, patting them on the shoulder. “i guess that's good advice, but really–”

TWO TRUCKS HAVING SEX. TWO TRUCKS HAVING SEX. MY MUSCLES. MY MUSCLES. INVOLUNTARILY FLEX.

“I SEE. A MATING SONG FOR YOUR SPECIES?” “my truck f### playlist,.,.,.” Viper tried to mute the speaker to no avail as most of the buttons on the control panel were very much broken. “I'm. Very sorry for this, pardner. But this doesn't sound so bad. I could put this in a jukebox…” Shaw consoled, only making them panic more. “im so f#ckig sorry” They said, before smashing the radio with a briefcase.

They all paused for a moment, unsure of what to do. “i have spotify…” Sarah croaked, holding up her phone. “they have lemon demon too, if you want…” She muttered, scrolling through the song choices. “does anyone want to listen to wet a–” “no.” “okay.”

The truck grew even quieter for a while, until Shaw gave a suggestion to pass the time. “Wanna play 20 questions?” “I'll start: how many folks have y'all killed?” Viper gave the assassin a horrified look, confusing her. “I think mine's around 150. No… 145…” She confessed, rubbing her chin. “Wait, or was it 160?”

“like six. do you like girls, and, follow up question, do you also coincidentally like short girls with long hair.” Sarah said without hesitation, stopping Orc from answering the first question. “Yes! I literally have a wife!” Shaw shouted happily, rolling up her sleeves to show Sarah her tattoos. “This one is her setting herself on fire and me getting inspired–” “ah, yes–” “That one was a total cover-up! Previously, it was the names of my exes, all thirteen of them, but now, it's my cat!”

After some time of receiving a bit too much RexShaw lore, Sarah finally got the answer she so desperately needed from Viper. This was the verdict that determines whether she could make a move or not. This answer could change– “i am gay and do not get attracted to women. thank you.” Ah. Back to more hunting. “I am a lesbian! High-five!” Shaw exclaimed.

And finally, the first truck.

truck one.

Loud country music blared in the truck as they drove by the snowy mountains of uhh. Winsnow. Like winter and snow. They had all chosen separate routes in order to cover more land and see if there were any new developments in the area.

“BRANDY!!! FETCH ANOTHER ROUNF!!!!!!” Rachel screeched as she drummed on the dashboard. “AND SHE FJSJS” Henderson kept driving, searching every inch of land for a rest stop to stretch her legs and also listen to something else.

“hendy.” Rachel said, getting her girlfriend's attention. “do you wanna buy that slime that cleans cars and stuff?” Henderson stared into the distance, pondering. “Hm. There's always the possibility of the slime disappearing under mysterious circumstances and turning up in the trash can the next day covered in saliva, so.” Whitney looked away, feeling attacked.

“yeah, that's a problem.” Rachel muttered, her hand instinctually moving to Henderson's. “Please don't crash the car.” She begged, looking sadly at her. “is there a domino's nearby. i heard they have that new peanut butter chocolate lava cake.” Rachel asked, cupping Henderson's face gently.

“Rachel. There's fucking mountains.” Henderson pointed out, gesturing towards their surroundings. “That shit will freeze.” Rachel put her head down in disappointment. “yeah. damn.” “MORE FLESH!!! MORE FLESH!!! MORE FUCKING FLESH!!!”

Oh yeah, Cyprus was here the whole time. “why does the metal say fuck?????” And Whitney too! “MIND YOUR OWN GODDAMN BUSINESS. FLESH NEEDED!” Cyprus yelled out, resembling a hungry toddler on a road trip.

“do you want like a burger or something......” Whitney asked, judging the spirit. “FLESH” “like are you more of a kfc or a mcdonalds guy” “NEED FLESH” She gave the couple a look, one that was kind of undecipherable due to her lack of normal face details like eyebrows, visible pupils, etc.

“So, three peanut butter lava cakes and one meat lover's… what else?” “ah!!!!!! no lava cake for me, i'm on a diet!!!!!! dirt and dirt only!!!!!!!!!!! also fish bones as a treat” Whitney corrected, her eyes searching for a nearby body of water. “Or, we could get Cyprus the fish meat, and Whitney the bones.” “sounds good to me!!!!!!!!” “FLESH”

…

“welcome to domino's! can i get your order?”

“three peanut butter lava cakes, please. that's all. thank you.” Rachel said, her seat switched with Henderson's, who was too nervous to order. “okay but they each take like three hours to make” “what.” “yea you can stop by like the grocery store up ahead” “fuck you for ordering this” “i–” “fuck off”

the grocewy stowe

The truck stopped by the front of the building, Rachel telling them to go in first while she searches for a good parking spot. Much to Henderson's disappointment.

“My lover…” Henderson said with fear in her voice. “it's okay… go along… i… i have to do this for you…” “for you all… i won't forget the good that you've done to me and everyone i've ever known…” “Rach, please don't go, I lo–” “you all are the kindest people… heaven may wait eagerly for you, but as for me, the ground trembles for its latest meal. fresh from the oven, i will enter the furnace…” “why the fuck would they cook you again” “because i'm TOAST!!” “haha”

“Kill Ronald Reagan while you're at it… I forgot which one he is but I'm pretty sure he's a total bitch…” “i will meet you doomguy” “heeeeeeeh” Rachel whined weakly as she slowly drove over to the spot she wanted.

MOTHERFUCKER.

A silver Honda Civic quickly made its way into there, angering the scientist. “not on my watch, fucker.” Rachel muttered, sliding the pickup truck across the road. She slammed her palm onto the car horn, which terrified even a murder of crows.

“huh wonder who that is” “hm anyway which fish do u like ???? :-)”

A woman who seemed to be in her late 40s exited the Honda Civic, throwing a rather large and flashy boa around her neck. “Jesús, ít's cold in hère,” The lady commented, putting on a pair of expensive-looking sunglasses. “Márie, come along, ma cheghhy!” (i forgot how to spell it)

oh, son of a B I T C H .

it's the french lady who smells weird.

Of course, seeing your enemy in any circumstance that wasn't planned was clearly a little scary and will probably be your last day alive, but bumping into them at a Target was kinda… awkward.

Both the hazelnut and the dolphin were less armed and armoured than usual, and there weren't any bodyguards or security. Usually, if a top leader goes anywhere, the standard protocol was to do thirty separate background checks on the location and have it guarded up somewhere in the three months before their arrival.

So, obviously, someone in Top 50 driving around town in a decades-old car buying groceries isn't very safe, or probably even legal. Hell, she hasn't even seen them wear anything this ridiculous ever. Could this be a distraction? Or is it an opportunity?

Ah, wait, they're both wearing their stupid little marriage bracelets.

It's the middle of October.

This is their anniversary vacation.

Shit.

in the store

Henderson strolled through the aisles with Whitney at her side, hugging Cyprus's jar. She examined the cereal boxes to make sure they didn't contain any food colouring that could potentially kill her.

Whitney, on the other hand, zoomed over to the meat section, licking her lips at the sight of a raw cod. “cyprus…… do you feel that? the need to devour a being???? the uncontrollable desire for energy that it transcends all laws and regulations placed on mankind?????? the growing hunger for power, one that's so strong it controls your every need????

a natural, primal instinct to become such a brutal being that no one, not even you, recognise yourself anymore. you look at yourself in the mirror and you feel like you want to destroy that, to put yourself onto the pedestal you belong on, to wreak havoc on the cosmos of all beings, living and dead, real and mythical, walking and extinct.

you know that you're the only who understands this instinct, the only one who follows it to this distance. everyone else may underestimate you, but in the end, you'll rise above them all. man's natural instinct is to become the ruler of all.”

“What the fuck, Whitney. Anyway, I talked to the deli guy and he said he could pay you to eat up some scraps if you want. You down?” Henderson asked, her trolley already full of snacks. “yea fuck it man” Whitney replied, walking over to the ‘staff only’ door. “im hungy as fuck”

parking lot.

Despite the growing need to kill the woman, Rachel was managing to control herself. Even though this was the perfect opportunity to eliminate one of them, she knows she'll be replaced by someone much crueler. So for now, she'll just stick to watching this lady consider which can of tomato sauce is better than the other.

Rachel parked the truck near the entrance and the Honda Civic. She kept an eye on the couple as she quietly made her way inside through the back door.

“So thàt's when Í saìd, ‘that's not a cactùs, that's a lámp!” Karén playfully said, her hand entwined with her wife's. Rachel was unsure whether to stalk the two or join her friends in shopping.

WELL, FIND THAT OUT IN THE NEXT PART,

B I T C H !! !! !!

0 notes

professorpalmarosa · 7 years ago

Text

Bro de Cologne (Maito Gai - Naruto)

Ah, yes. Majestic, hilarious, kindhearted, and optimistic Gai-sensei! My appreciation for this character grew along with my age. It’s always important for kids to have a good role model to look up to, and this gentlemen did that wonderfully.

Is he perfect? Not by a long shot. Does he care about his students equally? Again, I’d hesitate to say he does (Lee’s a pretty clear favorite). But still, he puts in more effort to help his students along than the other jōnin mentors we’ve met from Konoha.

There’s a lot of love and care in that man, so thanks for cheering!

Now…what did I put in his blend? This one goes under a read more due to length!

Online, I found a recipe for the original medieval blend of Eau de Cologne and modified it to add a scent that all of the Team Gai bath bombs contain: the lovely, ever-versatile Rosalina!

Blood Orange Essential Oil

There’s a large and vast variety of orange essential oils out there, but most fall into two categories: those derived from the bitter orange (Neroli, Petitgrain, etc.), and those derived from the sweet orange (Sweet Orange, Tangerine, Mandarin, Blood Orange, etc.).

Out of the sweet orange oils I have, the Blood Orange has the strongest and juiciest scent. If you love oranges, Blood Orange is something you’ll want to get for yourself. It smells fantastic!

Pros: The peel of sweet orange varieties (which includes Blood Orange) can be used to increase your appetite, reduce phlegm in your nose and lungs, treat coughs and colds, calm down asthma, reduce intestinal gas, settle indigestion, treat kidney stones, lower cholesterol, regulate blood pressure, and reduce the risk of stroke.

Some research even indicates that Blood Orange Essential Oil can help with prostate cancer and cancerous breast sores.

One other super cool thing about Blood Orange is that it’s listed as an aphrodisiac oil. Spritz yourself with a little and have yourself a grand time!

Cons:

Due to its high limonene content, Blood Orange is not safe to diffuse around a cat. Your dog should be fine, but cats lack a liver enzyme that helps them break down this chemical. It can create a toxic buildup and make them very, very sick.

Although Blood Orange is perfectly safe for adults, do not use the essential oil with babies or children under the age of 6.

If you are taking any of the below medications, do not use this essential oil:

Celiprolol (Celicard)

Ivermectin

Pravastatin (Pravachol)

If you are taking any of the below medications, exercise caution when using this essential oil:

Quinolone antibiotics such as Ciprofloxacin (Cipro), Enoxacin (Penetrex), Gatifloxacin (Tequin), Levofloxacin (Levaquin), Lomefloxacin (Maxaquin), Moxifloxacin (Avelox), Norfloxacin (Noroxin), Ofloxacin (Floxin), and Trovafloxacin (Trovan).

Fenofenadine (Allegra)

Medications moved by pumps in cells (P-Glycoprotein substrates) such as Etoposide, Paclitaxel, Vinblastine, Vincristine, Vindesine, Ketoconazole, Itraconazole, Amprenavir, Indinavir, Nelfinavir, Saquinavir, Cimetidine, Ranitidine, Diltiazem, Verapamil, Corticosteroids, Erythromycin, Cisapride (Propulsid), Fexofenadine (Allegra), Cyclosporine, Loperamide (Imodium), Quinidine, and others.

Lemon Essential Oil

Pros:

Boost your mood and put a little cheer in the air! Lemon Essential Oil is a natural antidepressant. The smell brings to mind a clean, uplifting atmosphere that combats any mental miasma that may be lurking around the room or office.

Fight inflammation and the signs of aging! Lemon Essential Oil contains a high antioxidant concentration, which can be used to fight age spots, wrinkles, a weak immune system, arthritis, and swelling.

It’s a powerful astringent! This essential oil speeds up the healing process for cuts, scrapes, and wounds because it kills any harmful germs that come into contact with the damaged skin. You can even add a few drops to your mouthwash to really freshen up your breath. I especially love to apply this oil to my back, where I used to suffer from sebaceous cysts (not that I’ve had one since I began using essential oils). You can brighten your dull skin and keep it clean with a natural, healthy glow.

Flush out toxins and water weight! Lemon Essential Oil is a diuretic, which means it increases the amount of times you have to urinate. Your body will do this to flush out toxins and bacteria, but it’s also a great way to reduce swelling on your joints, muscles, or abdomen.

Decongest your airways! Lemon Essential Oil is a known remedy for coughs, colds, and stuffy noses. Diffuse it or put a few drops of the oil in your bath water for maximum effect.

Cons:

Since Lemon Essential Oil is derived from the peel, which is a photosynthesizing part of the plant, this oil has some photosensitive properties. As a result, it is best to avoid going out in the sun or hitting the tanning bed for the next 12-36 hours after using this oil. Lemon Essential Oil will temporarily make you more sensitive to UV lights, increasing your risk of sunburn or phototoxicity.

Other than this one note of caution, Lemon Essential Oil is considered to be universally safe and (when diluted with a carrier or put in a bathtub) is safe for children.

Pink Grapefruit Essential Oil

Grapefruit is one of those familiar scents and is used in many diets to boost metabolism and suppress appetite. I even ended up picking up an entire half-gallon of white grapefruit juice on my way home from work yesterday, since it’s one of my favorite flavors in the world.

I’ve also been trying to find white grapefruit in my grocery store since I graduated from college in 2011, but I can’t seem to find them anywhere. If anyone knows where I could purchase them online from a reputable source, message me. I miss them so!

Pros: Grapefruit Essential Oil has several health benefits and can be your friend on a (safe) weight loss regimen. This oil contains a lot of the chemical d-limonene, which has clinically been shown to stabilize your metabolism, decrease your BMI, and even lower cholesterol.

Grapefruit peel (the part of the grapefruit Essential Oil comes from) also contains a lot of antioxidants, which help fight free radicals in your body and reduce your risk of cancer.

The smell of grapefruit can make a person feel happier and more alert. Some folks use it as a stimulant.

One of my friends mixes a little Grapefruit Essential Oil (due to its disinfecting nature) and vinegar into her homemade bathroom cleaner and her tub sparkles.

Cons:

Grapefruit (Pink or White) Essential Oil increases your photosensitivity, which increases your risk for sunburn. Please avoid being in the sun for too long if you’ve applied this essential oil (even diluted) to your skin in the past 12 to 36 hours.

Some liver medications may take longer for the liver to break down if Grapefruit (Pink or White) Essential Oil is being used:

Some medications that react to sunlight may increase your photosensitivity while Grapefruit (Pink or White) Essential Oil is being used. Please use sunscreen, sunglasses, and protective garments if outdoors if you’re using these medications and use Grapefruit on the regular.

If you use any of the below do not use this product:

Artemether (Artenam, Paluther)

Buspirone (BuSpar)

Carbamazepine (Tegretol)

Carvedilol (Coreg)

Cisapride (Propulsid)

Clomipramine (Anafranil)

Cyclosporine (Neoral, Sandimmune)

Dextromethorphan (Robitussin DM, and others)

Estrogen Supplements (Premarin, Climara, Vivelle)

Etoposide (VePesid)

Itraconazole (Sporanox)

Medications changed by the liver (Cytochrome P450 3A4 (CYP3A4) substrates, lovastatin (Mevacor), ketoconazole (Nizoral), itraconazole (Sporanox), fexofenadine (Allegra), triazolam (Halcion), and many others.)

Medications for high blood pressure (nifedipine (Adalat, Procardia), verapamil (Calan, Isoptin, Verelan), diltiazem (Cardizem), isradipine (DynaCirc), felodipine (Plendil), amlodipine (Norvasc), and others.)

Medications used for lowering cholesterol ((Mevacor), simvastatin (Zocor), atorvastatin (Lipitor), cerivastatin (Baycol), and others).

Methylprednisolone

Praziquantel (Biltricide)

Quinidine

Scopolamine (Transderm Scop)

Sedative medications (Benzodiazepines like clonazepam (Klonopin), diazepam (Valium), lorazepam (Ativan), and others).

Sildenafil (Viagra)

Terfenadine (Seldane)

If you use any of the below on the regular, exercise caution:

Caffeine

Erythromycin

Fenofexadine (Allegra)

Losartan (Cozaar)

Medications changed by the liver (Cytochrome P450 1A2 (CYP1A2) substrates) such as (amitriptyline (Elavil), haloperidol (Haldol), ondansetron (Zofran), propranolol (Inderal), theophylline (Theo-Dur, others), verapamil (Calan, Isoptin, others), and generics

Medications changed by the liver (Cytochrome P450 2C19 (CYP2C19) substrates) such as omeprazole (Prilosec), lansoprazole (Prevacid), and pantoprazole (Protonix); diazepam (Valium); carisoprodol (Soma); nelfinavir (Viracept); and generics

Medications changed by the liver (Cytochrome P450 2C9 (CYP2C9) substrates) such as diclofenac (Cataflam, Voltaren), ibuprofen (Motrin), meloxicam (Mobic), and piroxicam (Feldene); celecoxib (Celebrex); amitriptyline (Elavil); warfarin (Coumadin); glipizide (Glucotrol); losartan (Cozaar); and others.

Saquinavir (Fortovase, Invirase)

Theophylline

Warfarin (Coumadin)

The TL;DR on this list is this: “If you are taking a medication that impacts your liver or blood, exercise caution or don’t use Grapefruit Essential Oil (White or Pink).

You’ll probably have better luck with the fragrance oil, which will have none of the benefits but won’t mess up your medication.

It’s not just pretty smells and relaxing aromatherapy, guys. Some of this stuff can mess with your meds and Grapefruit’s notorious for it.

Lime Essential Oil

Pros: Lime can be used to help with gastrointestinal issues such as diarrhea. Other people apply it neat (directly to the skin) as a stimulant or to treat nausea. The very smell of Lime can boost your appetite and promotes extra saliva in your mouth. More than this, lime can give your immune system a boost: warding off common colds and winter bugs before they even hit you!

It’s also great for keeping a youthful complexion and reducing the appearance of wrinkles, age spots, and varicose veins.

Cons:

Lime Essential Oil increases your photosensitivity, which increases your risk for sunburn. Please avoid being in the sun for too long if you’ve applied Lime Essential Oil to your skin in the past 12 to 36 hours.

Some liver medications may take longer for the liver to break down if Lime Essential Oil is being used:

Lovastatin (Mevacor)

Ketoconazole (Nizoral)

Itraconazole (Sporanox)

Fexofenadine (Allegra)

Triazolam (Halcion)

Some medications that react to sunlight may increase your photosensitivity while Lime Essential Oil is being used. Please use sunscreen, sunglasses, and protective garments if outdoors if you’re using these medications and use Lime on the regular:

Amitriptyline (Elavil)

Ciprofloxacin (Cipro)

Norfloxacin (Noroxin)

Lomefloxacin (Maxaquin)

Ofloxacin (Floxin)

Levofloxacin (Levaquin)

Sparfloxacin (Zagam)

Gatifloxacin (Tequin)

Moxifloxacin (Avelox)

Trimethoprim/Sulfamethoxazole (Septra)

Tetracycline

Methoxsalen (8-methoxypsoralen, 8-MOP, Oxsoralen)

Trioxsalen (Trisoralen)

Petitgrain Essential Oil

Petitgrain Essential Oil is made from the stems and branches of the Seville Bitter Orange tree (the same tree that produces Neroli flower: my favorite Essential Oil of all time). It has a nice outdoorsy smell reminiscent of a freshly mowed lawn. Green and young oranges (which are roughly the size of peas) are mixed in there traditionally, hence the name.

Pros:

Kill Germs! Petitgrain can be used to fight off bacteria that pose a risk of sepsis in people. It inhibits bacterial growth and can be safely applied externally with a carrier oil.

Reduce Spasms! Sometimes we cough, cramp up, or twitch for no reason. Petitgrain can help with that. This oil relaxes the body and soothes those twitchy, nervous muscles.

Reduce Anxiety! Petitgrain Essential Oil can be diffused or added to the bathtub to fight depression, anxiety, stress, anger, and fear. It can also be added to an anti-insomnia blend to promote peaceful sleep.

Use it as a deodorant! Most orange-related Essential Oils can be used to deodorize a room or a person, but Petitgrain’s a powerhouse for this. It also curbs the growth of bacteria that feed off sweat and warm body parts.

Cons:

If you take any of the below medications, do not use Petitgrain Essential Oil:

Medications for Depression (MAOIs) such as phenelzine (Nardil), tranylcypromine (Parnate), and others.

Midazolam (Versed)

If you take any of the below medications, exercise caution with Petitgrain Essential Oil:

Caffeine (Excedrin, Anacin, Vivarin, etc.)

Dextromethorphan (Robitussin DM, etc.)

Felodipine (Plendil)

Indinavir (Crixivan)

Medications changed by the liver (Cytochrome P450 3A4 (CYP3A4) substrates) such as Lovastatin (Mevacor), Ketoconazole (Nizoral), Itraconazole (Sporanox), Fexofenadine (Allegra), Triazolam (Halcion), etc.

Medications that can cause an irregular heartbeat (QT interval-prolonging drugs) such as Amiodarone (Cordarone), Disopyramide (Norpace), Dofetilide (Tikosyn), Ibutilide (Corvert), Procainamide (Pronestyl), Quinidine, Sotalol (Betapace), Thioridazine (Mellaril), etc.

Simulants such as Diethylpropion (Tenuate), Epinephrine, Phentermine (Ionamin), Pseudoephedrine (Sudafed), etc.

Mandarin Essential Oil

Mandarin is a type of orange and is one of the most popular essential oils to use with children. You know its scent: it smells just like a ripe Mandarin orange and makes your mouth water almost immediately!

Pros:

Early research suggests that eating mandarin oranges and diffusing its oil on the regular is linked to a lower risk of a cancer called nasopharyngeal carcinoma. This type of cancer affects the nasal passageway connected to the throat.

Mandarin is an asthma-safe essential oil and is commonly used to safely deodorize and clean the air. The oil’s even generally safe for patients with lung cancer!

The smell of Mandarin causes the mouth to produce extra saliva and convinces your body that you’re hungry. It can ease indigestion and improve your appetite.

One of the other nice things about Mandarin (and its cousin oil, Tangerine) is that you can use it to calm down a child’s temper tantrums!

Cons: Like most other citrus oils, Mandarin Essential Oil increases your photosensitivity and the likelihood of developing sunburn when exposed to prolonged sunlight. Limit going outdoors or in direct sunlight if you’ve used this bath bomb over the last 12-24 hours.

Other than this, both Mandarin Essential Oil and Tangerine Essential Oil are considered safe and can even be used with small children.

Tangerine Essential Oil

Tangerine is a type of small orange and is one of the most popular essential oils to use with children. You know its scent: it smells just like a ripe tangerine and makes your mouth water almost immediately!

Pros:

Early research suggests that eating tangerines and diffusing its oil on the regular is linked to a lower risk of a cancer called nasopharyngeal carcinoma. This type of cancer affects the nasal passageway connected to the throat.

Tangerine is an asthma-safe essential oil and is commonly used to safely deodorize and clean the air. The oil’s even generally safe for patients with lung cancer!

The smell of Tangerine causes the mouth to produce extra saliva and convinces your body that you’re hungry. It can ease indigestion and improve your appetite.

One of the other nice things about Tangerine (and its cousin oil, Mandarin) is that you can use it to calm down a child’s temper tantrums!

Cons: Like most other citrus oils, Tangerine Essential Oil increases your photosensitivity and the likelihood of developing sunburn when exposed to prolonged sunlight. Limit going outdoors or in direct sunlight if you’ve used this bath bomb over the last 12-24 hours.

Other than this, both Tangerine Essential Oil and Mandarin Essential Oil are considered safe and can even be used with small children.

Rosalina Essential Oil

Rosalina is a member of the Melaleuca genus (along with Niaouli, Cajeput, and Tea Tree) and shares some of the same properties as its cousins. It’s even referred to in Australia as the Lavender Tea Tree due to its smell.

While Tea Tree personally gives me migraines, I’ve had good luck with other Melaleuca plants and this one smells the nicest out of the whole bunch. It’s slightly lemony, slightly camphoraceous, and a tad sweet. Rosalina blends with a lot of things beautifully, and is one of the safest oils you can buy.

Pros:

Fight off a cold and congestion! Rosalina’s properties are similar to that of Eucalyptus. Out of the Melaleuca family, it’s the best choice for diffusing in a room if your child has a cold, respiratory infection, or the flu.

Calm your mind and relax! Rosalina has a chemical composition of about 2/5 linalool: one of the best chemicals for promoting a calming, relaxing atmosphere. I like to blend it with Blue Tansy and diffuse it at night to promote good sleep with a clear, unclogged airway. Linalool can also be used to tone and even out your complexion!

Clear your skin and fight off microbes! Like Tea Tree and its many cousins, Rosalina has antimicrobial (antibacterial, antifungal, and antiviral) properties. It’s a perfect choice for skin care and massage oils on sore muscles.

Cons:

Rosalina Essential Oil is considered to be universally safe and is one of the few essential oils considered safe for diffusing while pregnant or nursing. Plant Therapy also calls it a “KidSafe” oil, which means (when diluted with a carrier oil or in a bath tub) this oil is safe for use on children 5 and up. In fact, out of the Melaleuca essential oils, Rosalina is the safest to use with children.

The only word of caution for this essential oil is that you may want to perform a patch test and exercise some caution if you have experienced an allergic reaction to Tea Tree, Cajeput, Eucalyptus (Globulus or Radiata), Niaouli, or Fragonia. I’m lucky in this regard. Even though Tea Tree gives me migraines, Rosalina doesn’t.

Lavender Essential Oil

Pros: Lavender is one of your best friends when it comes to restlessness, insomnia, anxiety, and depression. It’s also great for loss of appetite, nausea, vomiting, gas, and a fussy stomach. It’s also remarkable for pain relief in cases where you’re troubled by migraines, toothaches, sprains, nerve pain, and joint pain.

Some folks even apply Lavender Essential Oil to the skin for hair loss and pain.

Cons:

Lavender has also been shown to slow down the central nervous system when used on the regular. If you plan to go under for surgery or anything else with anesthesia, please avoid using Lavender Essential Oil two weeks ahead of the scheduled procedure.

Lavender should not be used by prepubescent and pubescent boys, as it can warp certain hormonal reactions and greatly increase risk for gynecomastia (male breast growth).

If you are taking a sedative, adding Lavender Essential Oil to the mix may create too much drowsiness. Exercise caution!

#Bro de Cologne #Maito Gai #Naruto bath bomb #my stuff #DIY #bath bomb #Professor Palmarosa

4 notes · View notes