#especially when one of the people who hate things being “just a normal guy” end up liking this.
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On the left, Yuan-ti Malison! These actually come in three flavors: Snake head, Snake arms, or Snake legs! That is having snakes instead of arms, for those curious. Outside that, basically just a person that can plant a suggestion in your head.
On the right, the first thing we ever polled, the birds that DMs fear, Aarakocra! Roughly 5 ft (1.5 m) tall with a 20 ft (6.1 m) wingspan and comes in all sorts of plumage! The males are also known to be notorious flirts!
#smash or pass#dnd 5e#d&d#yuan ti malison#aarakocra#dnd#5e#d&d 5e#I'm gonna be real I feel like this is the snake version of those rubber horse masks.#especially when one of the people who hate things being “just a normal guy” end up liking this.#Not judging. just confused. Like...this is enough snake? this is an acceptable amount? I get it with the snake legs. that's cool.#I just...yeah I'd smash in general. probably wouldn't choose it in this lineup. But you don't wish for more?#I'm not saying it's bad just that I don't get why it gets as rave reviews as like. the abomination. the mostly snake person one.
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something i don't see people talking about is the way hyperfixations come in like stages and cycles like it's not just "i'm obsessed with this thing" it's like. euphoria from finding something new and it brings you so much joy and then as that initial dopamine rush wears off you start to get more and more down and feel isolated as you start to realise that no one else cares about it as much as you do and you feel silly for being so into it and the thoughts become repetitive and boring so you get more and more depressed and lonely and then you inevitably lose the hyperfix which leaves you drifting feeling miserable and hopeless until you start the cycle again. idk if i explained this well or if other people will understand but it brings genuine phases of euphoria and straight up depression and this is why i get annoyed when neurotypicals use words like hyperfixation to describe like, an interest. bc it's not. just an interest it becomes who you are and when you lose it it's like losing yourself and you spend so much energy thinking about it that it interrupts your daily life and it's so fucking draining 👍
#like if i see one more nt being like hyperfixation this hyperfixation that SHUT UP!! YOU HAVE AN INTEREST#talk to me when you stay up until 6am every night bc you can't fucking sleep bc ur thinking about it.#talk to me when you can't process emotions in a normal healthy way because you can only relate it back to your hyperfix#paired w madd especially it's IMPOSSIBLE to be normal about shit i swear 2 god because the second i'm upset or lonely it's straight back to#immersing myself in another world and being someone else and not facing my emotions instead letting 'someone else' deal with them#not just negative emotions yk it's anything it's fully immersive to the point i end up not knowing exactly who i am myself bc i'm rarely#myself in my head yk#and it's so isolating#and this is why i get mad when people use these terms lightly bc they don't fucking get it#oh you're hyperfixated? oh you're delusional? you're delulu? watch this#< guy who has delusions that all of his friends secretly hate him bc he's too insane abt xyz media and who feels alone bc no one else is as#into it even though it wouldn't be reasonable to expect them to be#like i'm constantly questioning whether all my friends are secretly against me & finding me annoying anytime i talk about it but it's fine#it's so fucking isolating#i'm not losing my hyperfix yet thank god but i am in the stage of like realisation where the initial euphoria has worn off and i'm like#fuck no one else gets it. no one else is thinking about it like i am. and it's so lonely#< like not to sound like 'i'm 14 and no one gets me' or i'm not like other girls or whatever 😭#it's not me being dramatic i genuinely. know that no one else is spending every waking moment thinking about the things i am the way i do#and it's so incredibly depressing i can't even explain it in a way that will make sense#because i want to talk about it so fucking bad and i can't. even to my friends and gf who always listen i end up feeling annoying#and then i get genuinely delusional not like tiktok girl voice delulu like i genuinely start questioning my entire reality#just if i talk about something a little too much#bc i'm convinced i'm fucking annoying and no one gets it and they're thinking bad things about me#but i know they wouldn't. but it feels like they are#idk#anyways !
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i love the idea of a werewolf best friend who is totally in love with you and keeps trying to court you but since you're human you're just thinking he's being thoughtful or something
but he busts every night to the thought of you crying into the pillow, his heavy body pressing onto you and pushing you to the mattress, as he fucks his fat cock into you, trying to knot you and knock you up
want so badly to mark you as his that when he even gets a glimpse of your neck/shoulders he salivates and gets hard
werewolf courting is a subtle thing- really it's more about keeping others away from you than winning you over. you don't see all the sharp glares he sends to other people. or the way he snaps at his other friends for mentioning how cute you look.
he's sweet to you. he gives you bites off his plate. and almost always brings you a drink or snack when you hang out together. he'd be leaving kills on your doorstep but apparently it "freaks out the neighbors" and "you don't know what to do with a whole deer carcass" or whatever. humans are so hard to please. those silly little candies you like can't be very filling but he can't shake the urge to feed you. so he does.
He's also very protective. he always walks/ drives you home at the end of the night. he'll be by your side in an instant if you call for him and god help any idiot who tries to fuck with you.
Also, his home is always open to you. if you ever want to come over randomly or borrow something- what's his is yours. you don't realize how territorial he is with everyone else because he's always so generous and giving with you. especially with clothes!! if you want a sweatshirt or a pair of shorts, they're yours. he loves little things like that to make you smell like him.
To any other werewolf, any one of these things would be a clear indication of romantic interest. I mean- the guy lets you eat off his plate! do you have any idea how territorial wolves are with food? No! Of course, you don't you're human. all of it feels normal to you. there might be other things that you take for flirting that he's doing on accident. but really you think of him as a really good friend.
it's hell on your werewolf. He doesn't know what he's doing wrong. he's a perfect mate for you, but you never seem to acknowledge his flirting as something romantic. he hates it when you stretch your head to the side, baring your neck to him, it's like you're begging to be marked. and by "hates" I do mean it gets his mind spinning. it's like you have no idea how hard it is not to bite you sometimes.
He can't help himself. he will keep going until you accept him because he knows that you're the one for him. so he walks you home for the night then goes back to his place, alone, and lays in bed thinking about you.
at first, it's nothing dirty. he's just wondering what the two of you will do when you hang out next, then he's wondering what you're doing right now. did you take a shower? did you go straight to bed? what do you sleep in when you're all alone? what if you sleep in just your underwear- or naked.
he's hard. he always is when he lets himself think about you too much. he can't help it. so he starts touching himself while he lets his mind wander.
it would feel good to bite your neck. it would feel better to bite the soft sensitive skin of your inner thigh. he wants to mark you while he fucks you. he wants to own you inside and out. he knows you'd take his cock well. it's big but you don't mind, right? you'd like a little pain with your pleasure.
he thinks about all the different positions he could put you in. he thinks about you ridding his cock, about flipping you over and pinning your knees to your chest so he can see your face as he ruins you.
he cums all over himself imagining you screaming- begging him to knot you. he can only hope one day his little fantasy will become a reality.
#werewolf#monster fucker#teratophillia#monster imagine#werewolf boyfriend#werewolves#monster#werewolf smut#werewolf x reader#monster boyfriend#gender netural reader
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Jedi and attachment
The Jedi Order was around 25,000 years old when it fell at the end of the Clone Wars.
And I've seen people say "the Jedi don't teach emotional regulation" I guess because there are some Jedi who fell, but like, the number of Jedi who didn't fall far outweighs the number of Jedi who did fall.
And that's not to say that Jedi never made mistakes, but none of them gave into their anger and fear and hatred. Mistakes are normal, even for Jedi. Failure is the greatest teacher. They were apparently able to regulate their emotions well enough to actually learn from their mistakes and grow.
I'm not sure which part of "the life of a Jedi is not easy" isn't exactly translating well for some people.
What do people think Qui-Gon meant when he told Anakin being a Jedi would be challenging?
As Yoda said, it is a lifelong struggle not to allow fear to bend into anger. Fear leads to anger leads to hate leads to suffering. The Jedi never stop learning.
The reason they avoid attachments is because attachments distract them from the bigger picture, from their purpose. They are protectors and defenders of life, and they cannot be picky about who they choose to help, regardless of personal feelings.
As Obi-Wan has said, Jedi do not hold grudges. They cannot. They can be upset, yes, but they are given the tools to handle their emotions and often utilize them.
Anakin damned an entire galaxy when he fell to the dark side. The Jedi are not to blame for Anakin's fall. Anakin made his choice, and while he spent thirteen years being groomed by Palpatine, he made the choice to follow Darth Sidious.
ANAKIN FELL BECAUSE OF THE CHOICES HE MADE.
He is the one who slaughtered Jedi younglings. He's the one who slaughtered the Separatist leaders, and even though they were the enemy, they were defenseless and trapped in a room with the most powerful being in the galaxy after being sent there by Sidious and Grievous.
The reason the Jedi were so hesitant to accept him into the Jedi Order was because of his age. He was attached to his mother and his anger over her death is what caused him to slaughter an entire colony of Tusken Raiders. He didn't do it out of love. He did it out of hatred, and revenge is not the Jedi way.
It is not the fault of the Jedi that Anakin could not properly regulate his own emotions. He lied to the Jedi for three years. He hid his relationship with Padme, so how was Yoda supposed to know how to help him properly when he didn't have the full context? Of course his advice seemed bad because Anakin was not being forthcoming about the nature of his relationship with Padme. Yoda did not have a complete picture of Anakin's anxieties at the time, and while you can teach someone how to do something, you cannot control how they put the teachings into practice. You can only hope and trust that they are doing the right thing.
And the thing is, the Jedi would have helped Anakin and Padme. Yoda and Obi-Wan loved Anakin. We saw several instances of just how much Yoda cared about Anakin, especially so at the end of season six of the Clone Wars.
Anakin betrayed the entire Jedi Order because he allowed his fears to consume him. He participated in the genocide of the order he had been part of for thirteen years just to save the life of ONE PERSON who ended up dying anyway BECAUSE of him.
No one has ever said the Jedi Order is perfect because there is no such thing as perfect, but they were not ever the villains. They were never the bad guys. They were pulled into a war orchestrated by Darth Sidious who weaponized the compassion of the Jedi as a way to destroy the order.
When you look at the handful of Jedi who fell and claim that the Jedi "don't teach emotional regulation" you're just erasing all personal accountability from the fallen Jedi WHO MADE THEIR CHOICES.
There is only ONE Jedi (that I am aware of) who fell to the dark side involuntarily, and that was Ahsoka Tano. She was corrupted against her will and then killed. Anakin was able to resurrect her, and while he did a good thing, it only made his fear of losing her again even worse.
Maul murdered Satine and forced Obi-Wan to watch, but Obi-Wan managed to control his emotions and not go on a killing spree. He actually held a dying Maul in his arms. Ahsoka was failed by the Jedi Order, but she didn't fall to the dark side. Yoda lived for 900 years and never once fell to the dark side.
There are a variety of factors that went into Anakin's fall, but he is the one who made the choice to do the monstrous things he did. He was not being mind controlled. He had Jedi training, but he threw all of that away for one person. He gambled the fate of the galaxy on the belief that Palpatine would help him save Padme from dying, knowing that Palpatine was a Sith Lord and knowing that he was the one who was actually responsible for the war. He made a selfish choice at the expense of everyone else in the galaxy and the only person who won in the end was Darth Sidious. It was the biggest lesson that Anakin ever learned.
This is not a failure of "teaching emotional regulation". This is the failure of someone who allowed his personal feelings to overshadow his Jedi training, and he is responsible for the consequences of his own actions.
End note: This is not an Anakin Skywalker bashing post. I love Anakin Skywalker, but he absolutely is to blame for his fall to the dark side. He's a fascinating character. I could write a whole ass separate post on why I love him so much. Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader is an icon.
#like it's cool if you don't like the jedi because they aren't for everyone but they are not now nor have they ever been the villains#pro-jedi#we love the jedi order on this blog#star wars#the clone wars#revenge of the sith#attack of the clones#return of the jedi#jedi order#anakin skywalker#obi wan kenobi#ahsoka tano#darth sidious#yoda#qui gon ginn#maul#satine kryze#padme amidala#attachment doesn't equal love#the jedi love everyone#that's the whole point#and it was the jedi's love and commitment to everyone in the galaxy that palpatine exploited during the clone wars#by making them inaccessible to everyone while trying to save everyone at the same time
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eyes on fire | carmen berzatto headcanon
carmen berzatto x ex!reader (but not for long...)
warnings. language, mentions of suicide & death (mikey)
authors note. thinking of turning this into a fic but i just wanted to get these thoughts thrown onto a page for now | EDIT 7/7: ITS A FIC! HERES PART ONE
you hated carmen berzatto, to say the least
you had been each others first s/o and spent a lot of the end of your teenage years attached at the hip
every berzatto family function (no matter how messy they always ended), every school dance, every hell's kitchen rerun--you and carmy were together
mikey liked to call you guys soulmates, watching how you and carmy just seemed to click like that- a statement that never failed to make carmy go flush in the face (que richie faking barfing in the background)
you were one of the first people that carmen told about his wishes for the future-how he wanted to take up the restaurant with his brother and continue the berzatto tradition
you loved the way his eyes lit up when he talked about cooking with his family-the way he gave his all into his aspirations
"well you gotta make sure i'm the first one to eat those fancy sounding dishes when you start working at the beef, carm"
"absolutely, babe. i wouldn't have it any other way"
however, like everyone after high school, you and carmy hit a rough patch that sunk your relationship -- you were planning to go to college for business administration and carmy was leaving chicago to go to culinary school
you two definitely attempted everything in your power to stay together-late night skype calls, daily texts, hell you even offered to fly to new york to spend time together
but the more swamped you got with school and the more carmen got slammed with cooking (especially right before he went of to Noma), the more the truth begun to show itself
the breakup was messy, because it was less a breakup and more of ...
you: what are we doing right now? like, as a couple?
carmen: i think that i need to focus more on my career right now
you: oh, so..are we breaking up right now? (read 9:57PM)
you: carmen? (read 10:15)
you: ok, asshole, be that way (delivered)
that's right, that motherfucker ghosted you
despite the tumultuous ending of you and carmen's relationship, you were still close to sugar and mikey (and, unfortunately for you, richie)
sugar was adamant on flying over to copenhagen and have a "conversation" with her brother herself + mikey and richie were not too far behind on the cause
"it's fine guys. let's just all agree that carmen is a soft little bitch" you said, trying to lighten the mood even though you knew that you were still racking thru the pain being broken up with so suddenly
you deal with the breakup harshly at first, but you put a lot of that emotion towards your own growth
fast forward a couple years, you graduated college and are on the up-and-up in chicago as a successful business marketing manager
you get closer to the berzattos, strangely, as carmy gets more distant
you don't think of carmy much anymore but it grows harder as he wins awards and recognitions in his field that honestly make you..proud, in strange way
then, mikey dies...and a lot of things change for you
you help sugar and richie plan the funeral, and something sour sinks into your stomach when you don't see that familiar head of dirty blonde hair during the service
some months pass and you try to gather yourself and get back to normal after mikey's passing
richie invites you down to the beef one day to "catch up" randomly
you go, if not to just see tina and the rest of the crew but are met with great surprise when you see him
carmen motherfucking berzatto, in the flesh, standing behind the bar yelling to richie about something nonsensical
he stops yelling when he hears the door open and literally freezes in place when he sees you
you stare at him for a second, taking in the man who once had your heart, noting the new tattoos and the new way he styled his hair and he seems to be doing the same
then, richie breaks the silence--"oh my goodness, what are you doing here, sweetheart?"
you and carmy speak at the same time
"richie, you motherfucker"
"richie, you dick"
#carmen berzatto x reader#carmen berzatto x you#carmen berzatto fanfic#carmy berzatto x reader#the bear fx#jeremy allen white x reader#carmy berzatto x you#carmen berzatto#the bear season 2#the bear hulu
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Sanji x m reader where he's kind of in a cranky foul mood, maybe something had happened that upset him, maybe he'd had a nightmare, etc so sanji was not taking the signals that said in bright red above reader's head "do not approach" seriously and decided to miss with reader with their usual vulgar banter but that only sent reader off the edge. With sanji ending up on reader's lap crying and sobbing while his ass is red as a tomato with reader's letting out oddly-sincere thank-yous to sanji with a lighter heart and a clearer head.
Sanji Vinsmoke x Male reader
Drabble
Normally Sanji was great at reading people, you especially. You two had a special relationship, having both grown up on the Baratie and training to be chefs under Zeff. It had led to an immediate rivalry between the two of you, lasting all the way up to this day, as you butted heads and snapped and snarled about recipes and cooking. It reached the point, where you would agree on a method, but find another way entirely so you would side with one another.
You guys didn’t actually hate each other, in reality you were both close and trusted the other with your life, but the relationship between chefs always ended with arguments and outright fights at times. You both had your pasts, Sanji being a Vinsmoke, and you being one of Big Moms many many children.
Your childhood always weighed heavy on you, causing anything from nightmares to full shutdowns, though you had started coping much better with them over the years with the help of the people on the Baratie, and Sanji’s friendship and later love.
It took the crew a long time you realize you two were together, as Sanji was still such a weakling to women, and not a day passes where you two didn’t scuffle about one thing or another. But the moment a woman actually tried to seduce Sanji and tempt him with them, he politely turned them down and said he already had a partner.
Members like Luffy and Usopp had immediately wanted to know who it was Sanji was talking about, much to your shared confusion. You both didn’t understand the surprise that went through your crew when they learn how you two have been dating since your early teens, as you guys thought you were being obvious.
It was because of your long past that Sanji was sure he would read you better than anyone else. Maybe it was just a lapse of judgement that made him not fully realize just the state you were in, as he grumbled and argued about your usual topics, not even noticing that you weren’t replying, your expression just growing darker and darker.
His rants and comments finally seemed to be just what you need to snap, lunging forwards and grabbing him by his tie, dragging Sanji after you towards your shared bedroom, much to the entertainment of your crew. Sanji found himself stumbling after you, his usual complaints sputtering out as his cheeks start growing warm, the familiar feeling of a nosebleed starting, appearing in his senses.
Instead of being thrown on the bed and having his world rocked like you guys usually do when either of you are worked up, Sanji ends up almost squeaking as you throw him over your thighs, tucking his slacks and briefs down his thighs.
The only moment you pause in your actions, is when you grab his chin to make Sanji look up at him, confirming that he’s fine with this and that you have his consent. Sanji quivers and gulps, a bead of red already gathering in his nostrils as he nods, wiggling his hips as he arches his back, almost presenting himself for you.
Your nostrils flare like an enraged bull, the heated look in your eyes leaving Sanji feeling like you are about to devour him. A loud smack rings throughout the room as you lay into him, barely giving Sanji time to keep up or expect the next spank, as your strong hands rain down on his behind.
As chefs, you both care deeply for your hands, which only means the act of you spanking him adds further fuel to the fire of arousal coursing through Sanji. This isn’t the first time and won’t be the last you guys have played this way, meaning Sanji can take a fair number of swats, until the tears finally start rolling.
Theres no rhyme or reason to the number of spanks you lay down on Sanji’s ass, even smacking your palm against his upper thighs, right where he would feel the burn when he sits next. The knowledge that there is no way to know when you feel he’s had enough, is what makes Sanji finally bury his face into the sheets, staining it with his tears, drool, and the blood dripping from his nose.
His erection grinds against your thigh every time your hand lands on his almost glowing cheeks, his pale skin turned bright red and burning as Sanji gasps and keens. Its almost impossible for Sanji to make head of tail of anything happening around him at this point, so focused on the sting of your hand and the heat burning across his ass and thighs.
After who knows how long, you finally feel pity and love for the wobbly shivering vision Sanji makes across your thighs, finally deciding to take mercy on him. Reaching down one last time, you grasp onto one of the red, hot to the touch, cheeks, giving it a tight squeeze, making Sanji’s hips jolt into your thigh again.
The intensity of your hand gripping onto him, and the feeling of his sensitive shaft dragging against the fabric of your pants, is what finally makes Sanji tumble over the edge, spilling against your leg as he gasps and drools into the sheets, eyes almost rolling back into his head as his entire body twitches.
Sanji is loose and pliant as you rub a comforting hand over his burning cheeks, tears still running down his cheeks as you move him up into your arms so you could cradle him. The thank yous and praise spilling from your lips only serves to make Sanji feel lighter and floatier than before, tucking his face into your neck as he basks in your love and touch.
Spanking Sanji, or similar, had always been one of your ways to let off steam you couldn’t in any other way, to get the pain of your past to lose its power, at least for a while. And it also helped that you had a partner who drooled at the very thought of you spanking him or edging him.
After giving Sanji some time, you lay him carefully down on the bed on his front, finding the ointments and different items you know you’ll need to treat the huge bruise covering his ass and thighs. As you rub the ointment into his skin, Sanji sighs and goes lax against the bed, shutting his eyes and letting you take care of him, like you always do.
#male reader#dom reader#dom male reader#sanji vinsmoke#black leg sanji#one piece#op#vinsmoke sanji imagine#vinsmoke sanji headcanon#vinsmoke sanji x male reader#vinsmoke x reader#black leg sanji imagine#black leg sanji headcanon#black leg sanji x male reader#black leg sanji x reader#one piece imagine#one piece headcanon#one piece x male reader#one piece x reader#one piece smut#op imagine#op headcanon#op x male reader#op x reader
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Small disclaimer before you head in: this whole post will be referencing the TCB translation. I know VIZ handled the exchange I'm discussing differently, but I couldn't find anyone who talked about the original version and as a result I don't really know who is closer to the original meaning. In any case, the "analysis" should still stand. Whether Dragon was commenting Sabo's firmness or admiring his resolution, Sabo's still putting on a mask, and that's the point I'm trying to break down. Enjoy!
This very specific interaction between Dragon and Sabo in chapter 1083 has always stuck out to me.
"My, you really are unshakeable."
which is an appropriate response to what Sabo said, of course. What kind of sensitive person reacts that way to the death of an innocent, right?
Even so, I can't help but compare the thing Sabo said to his actual, genuine reaction to King Kobra's death.
He's devastated.
Sabo brokenly screams Kobra's name, and his expression is one of full despair; he never thought about killing Kobra, let alone letting him die. On the contrary, he actively tried to save him.
Kobra told him to just let him go, that he was dead weight and he shouldn't be concerned about him, but Sabo straight up refused. In fact, Kobra's actions read way more as a sacrifice than an inevitable death; the king let himself die, knowing that this way Sabo could flee and reach Vivi and Luffy safely.
On the Lulusian ship, we see Sabo think about Kobra's last words to him and actively trying not to cry (and failing).
That's not an unshakable man. He's suffering, he's grieving. He realizes he failed his very own mission of saving the king and lets the meaning behind Kobra's actions and words sink in.
It really puts his former reaction into perspective.
Sabo's firmness, seriousness and coldness in front of Dragon and Ivankov are nothing but a façade. He acknowledges that what he's about to say might come off as harsh, and that, even if he does feel sorry for Kobra, the tragedy doesn't weigh him down thanks to the results it brought, but it all sounds like he's reassuring himself more than actually showing his indifference.
Hell, he even drinks his glass of wine right after having said that "he doesn't really care". How can anyone take his words seriously?
And we've been knowing Sabo is inclined to do this sort of thing since Dressrosa; he acted all cool and composed in front of Luffy but the second Koala called him on the Den Den Mushi he was weeping, having a hard time believing that his little brother didn't punch him or hate him for being alive all along. He even denied he was crying!
All because Sabo hates being seen as vulnerable, especially in front of the people he thinks he has to be strong for (Luffy, Dragon, etc). It's something I think goes back to how his parents treated him, since they scolded him for, y'know, having emotions and being a normal kid in need of love, but i digress.
I once saw someone describing Sabo as a very cold person in comparison to his brothers, even going as far as to say that Sabo doesn't care if people die if it means achieving the Revolutionary Army's goals (using this very interaction as proof), which couldn't be further away from the truth.
Bonney even says outright that it's weird seeing a "radical revolutionary" act so friendly when Sabo helps her out. Why would he do this if all he ever did was for "The Cause"?
Yes, Sabo is ruthless, rude, violent at times, and his friendly demeanor could be seen as a little more volatile than that of his brothers', but he's not heartless. He's not a "meanings to an end" guy, he proves it time and time and time again, and it's disheartening seeing people label him as such.
Sabo is kind. He may not be as warm as Ace and Luffy, but he is fundamentally a good person. A generous, kind, caring, sensitive person.
No matter how hard he tries to hide it.
#tl;dr sabo is a very nuanced character and i love studying him#this could have been longer but i really wanted to post it before tomorrows episode#i may add to it later!!#revolutionary sabo#sabo#flame emperor sabo#if talking about him was a job i'd be filthy rich#when all of this gets animated i will be on the ground wailing and screaming and screeching#fool rambles#long-ish post#analysis post#???? kind??? of????#one piece spoilers#< just in case#idk if to tag all the other characters but i probably wont since this is all about sabo#oh right the dreaded main fandom tag#one piece#alright im DONE
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Camillo Carmine x Reader
General Headcanons (SFW + NSFW)
warnings: nsfw, mentions of blood, mentions of biting, cursing
words: 1.4k+
a/n: this was a highly requested work, so enjoy and have fun with the little bonus at the end! This is not really an x reader, but it could be read as such, so oh well. Let me know your thoughts on Camillo's character, and/or if you'd like to see more of him in the near future <3
SFW
✧˚ · . Camillo is basically like a big cat
✧˚ · . Tall motherfucker, standing at approximately 8,2
✧˚ · . The guy is very calm, silent, and sneaky all at once. If anything, he would make an excellent spy and has been offered positions before in that line of work
✧˚ · . Very independent; wont work for anybody but himself and is beyond stubborn
✧˚ · . He is a hardass, but underneath his tough, strong front, is an individual who is a giant kid at heart, who is so deeply loyal and giving that it hurts, and who takes all relationships he makes very seriously, as in he would gladly put his life on the line for someone he cares about; questioning his loyalty is the worst you can do
✧˚ · . Favorite colors consist of greys and purples of any shade; it always struck him as having more of an elegant, dancer sort of vibe, and the display of the colors usually help him to relax in times of distress. His whole bedroom is centered around that color palette and it hasn't been changed since he and Camilla have inherited the mansion
✧˚ �� . On the subject of Camilla, he likes to annoy her. His real personality can start to be seen the more time he spends around his sister; they behave just like any normal pair of siblings would. The two have had a love hate relationship growing up and it still is that way, even if just a bit more watered down now. The two like to joke and hang around together every now and again when they aren't off busy with their own lives
✧˚ · . What a Carmine lacks in affection, they make up for in loyalty
✧˚ · . If you wanna talk about dancers, he is one. He loves dancing in his spare time and even uses the Carmine manor as a spot to host dancing lessons amongst sinners willing/wanting to learn
✧˚ · . His silvery pointed dancing shoes are like his literal children, and he always goes into a slight panic whenever he can't find them. They provide him with that sense of security, as dancing is a huge part of his life and he could never stand to be without it; they were also a gift from his mother
✧˚ · . Never likes to ask anyone for anything, especially not help. He likes to cover up his needs with smart-ass comments and handsome smirks that most can't stay mad at for too long
✧˚ · . Has been told he has a very punchable face
✧˚ · . His fangs make for a great, sarcastic smile; his face either consists of a frown or that signature smirk. He uses his fangs for a lot of things, including biting people when they get on his nerves
✧˚ · . Can totally play the piano; claims its a very calming and dignified instrument. He doesn't play it often but when he does, its a gift to anyone around to hear
✧˚ · . On the asexuality spectrum, identifying as demisexual and biromantic. It takes him a little longer than the average sinner to develop feelings for someone, let alone sexual feelings
✧˚ · . As stated before, his relationships are one of the most important things in his life and he handles them with great seriousness
✧˚ · . The epitome of that one secretive, mysterious, tall and mysterious stranger everyone wants to be friends with, but are too afraid to approach directly to ask
NSFW
✧˚ · . It's very difficult to get anything verbal out of this man when he's in the process of being intimate with someone, even if they're his s/o
✧˚ · . The most you can expect is some pleasured grunts, maybe some low groans if you're lucky
✧˚ · . It's not that he isn't enjoying whatever is being brought upon him, he is just one to closely guard his feelings and never really express them too vividly; yes that ends up following him into his sex life
✧˚ · . 9 times out of 10 he prefers to give pleasure rather than receive it
✧˚ · . Loves to degrade and use pet names with his partner; sweetheart, doll, slut, and whore tending to be some of his personal favorites to use
✧˚ · . Big on consent. If you are ever not comfortable with anything he proposes or is in the middle of doing to you, then he will stop instantly and get you anything you need. He may seem like an asshat sometimes, but he is a decent person (if that comes as such a shock)
✧˚ · . Into some form of pet play/leashes, no negotiation
✧˚ · . He always likes to be in control and rarely ever is the submissive one during intimacy.
✧˚ · . Will speak Spanish in bed, usually doing so in order to fluster his partner; it often gets him a positive response
✧˚ · . Being blindfolded is a big kink of his. As a dancer, he is used to having to be accustomed to other senses, so when they are heightened after his sight is temporarily taken from him, he will have a ball of a time
✧˚ · . One of his top favorite things is watching his partner ride him. Just the sight of his cock being sheathed inside your body over and over again as he watches you get off on his lap all on your own
✧˚ · . Dirty dancing is something he is much too fond of. The act of getting all worked up from dancing with one another, teasing each other all the while, then getting to fuck his partner into the ground, whispering praises to them about how well they danced with/for him; he is all too eager to teach you more of what he knows about the dancing world
✧˚ · . The little shit is one of the biggest teases you will ever meet. He honestly has a sex drive that's more so on the lower side and does not need sex as often as most sinners seem to
✧˚ · . But, be prepared when he does have the energy to pleasure you, for he is astounding at it.
✧˚ · . Kissing, biting, steamy makeout sessions, eating you out, fucking you raw; he can do it all and excel in the process
✧˚ · . His fangs usually come into play a lot during sex; a huge fan of biting and leaving marks on his partner to let others know that they have already been claimed
✧˚ · . Camillo is one of those demons you'd be lucky to have sex with. It's not even an egotistical thing, he's just not very sex-coded when it comes to relationships or really anything in general. He believes in a true connection with someone first before engaging in any sorts of those activities, hence his sexuality
✧˚ · . Sex with Camillo is always very serious and passionate. He never allows himself to be as vulnerable as he would be right now, so better to cherish it whilst it lasts
✧˚ · . It's almost like he picks one mate for life, then he's done looking, like some species do
✧˚ · . Thinking of it, when he really gets into action and the rare times he wants to have sex, he fucks like a wild animal. He does have his vanilla, gentle side where he will care for you nothing short of a husband, but if he has the chance or some pent up anger to release, you better prepare to go for multiple rounds of very rough sex
✧˚ · . To top things off, he does have a praise kink. It may be hard to pick up on at first, but if you praise him, let him know how good he's making you feel, he's a mess (at least internally). Nothing really gets him going more than knowing he is fulfilling his job as a partner; making you feel good in every aspect that he can. It gives him purpose and that's really all he needs when he's with his s/o
BONUS~
✧˚ · . One of Camillo's wildest fantasies is to have his lover cockwarming him whilst he plays a song for them on his piano. He can imagine struggling to not fumble over the keys, not let his fingers slip, as he feels you clench around him, biting his lip or your shoulder hard enough to draw blood in order to stifle any noises that may find their way past his lips. That vulnerability is something he knowingly holds sacred; you could potentially be the one to coax it out of him.
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel x you#xreader#carmilla carmine#hazbin hotel carmilla#carmilla x reader#carmilla hazbin hotel#carmila carmine#hazbin hotel camillo#camillo/carmilla#camillo#camillo hazbin#camillo hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel genderswap#x reader#carmilla carmine x reader#carmilla carmine x reader smut#sfw#headcanon#headcanons#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel oc
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"Marchil? I guess I can see it on Chilchuck’s end, but what about Marcille’s? What makes you think she could develop feelings for him?" I’m glad you asked!
The first thing to note is that she does think highly of him
In the page on the right, literally defending his virtues and literally comparing him to Dalclan. And oh…
She does love a brooding mysterious guy who closes himself to love. But surely, Chilchuck isn’t her type at all, right? He’s not princely or knightly at all. In apperances certainly not, both looks wise and demeanor wise, but then that’s why she seeks to know him on a deeper level, to not only look shallowly.
And hmm. Chilchuck really is quite selfless isn’t he? Always looking out for others, and saving specifically her often, always making sure himself and, staying in or even running towards danger for her sometimes. Modesty is often considered heroic…
And can we talk about that drowning one… You can definitely frame the special attention as him knowing she tends to hesitate or be clumsy, and then his insistance on pulling her out of danger that she’s the healer aka the most important to keep alive, but. From the one who says that he just keeps his ass out of fights and won’t help this is a lot of risk to take, and he does die trying to pull her to safety in the dungeon rabbits chapter. And the drowning bit??? That’s when the dungeon collapses. The only reason they DON’T die of drowning here is that the water then gives way to outside. There was NO hope of pulling her to safety here and resurrections would likely not work either, he truly preferred to die with her than try to survive himself.
Sit your ass back DOWN you are in no state, self-sacrifical hero much damn
And Marcille definitely noticed this imo, after all she loves learning all she can about him, remembering things like how he hates waiting on people too. She pays attention to him and what he does and what he says. This to say that it’s notable, whatever reason for it you may think (though we know by this point at least she was already aware he was an adult though it wasn’t internalized), out of everyone it’s Chilchuck’s bed that she wants to sleep in during the Golden Kingdom stay. He’s safe and comforting to her: dependable, the defining trait in her view of him as is shown by the relationship chart in the Adventurer’s Bible.
^ Lending handkerchiefs is a romance trope btw and handkerchiefs have irl history of being used for courting. Especially in old English literature and plays like Shakespeare’s Othello, and personally I do see a lot of Shakespeare in Dalclan (nobility political drama with some romance). There’s how his cowl is a dearly beloved souvenir from his family too, there’s a lot of aesthetic tropes you can apply to him.
All this to say you can 100% romanticize Chilchuck into a princely noble guy if you try and that’s exactly what Marcille does with the wife roleplay. She doesn’t need much in the first place, she latches onto crumbs and makes aesthetic narratives out of details, give her an inch she’ll take a mile.
But what’s interesting about the shift throughout the arc of her and his relationship is that she starts out idealizing him into a little angel of a kid (shapeshifter), and she ends it idealizing him as a virtuous husband and family man instead.
And what’s doubly interesting is that in the former, she’s actively warping who he is personality and demeanor wise to fit the aesthetic, he doesn’t have that bitter pride of not asking for help and the edges have been smoothened. But what she does during the wife roleplay is something else, she acknowledges the flaws and just… Accepts them, rolls with them. She’s aware of his flaws and implements them into the narrative, but the reason why his wife left doesn’t capitalize on them even, rather Chil is chilblivious and his wife loves him very much still, she’s just testing him after having had a night of feeling out of place at his side.
And this is what separates the idealization vs romanticization, she’s not twisting him into someone else she’s just uplifting what he is and focusing on the good sides.
Marcille: "he has a shitty personality sometimes but if he was my husband I’d still cherish him" "If I were your wife I’d be overjoyed to go out with you and would get myself prettied up while you complain about me taking a long time, your friends would tell me that I’m nice and that’d make me happy, but I’d also be sad because you wouldn’t tell me that you love me enough"
He’s angry and his wife left him, he’s *flawed*, but he’s still worth hyping up, still worth having his own romance story, still has a shot of winning back his beloved. She sees him for what he is, human and real and not a carefully scripted character that fits an aesthetic, and she thinks it’s still worthy of love and admiration and fighting for
And what’s funny too is that you might expect her to cool down on him once she learns more about him but actually she only gets increasingly into his business. You tell her your age and next thing you know you promise to introduce her to your family. Give her an inch she takes a mile. And too the thing is, Senshi is equally mysterious but she doesn’t pester him like at all, asks him ONCE about his succubus and he doesn’t even answer and that’s like… It. With Chilchuck it starts off innocently enough with her wanting to know his age, hometown, the stuff she mentions having asked pre-canon. But it just keeps and keeps going and escalating. Think she’ll be satisfied now knowing you have a wife and kids, maybe she’s disillusioned now? Wrong! She wants to know their names and ages and occupations and hey how did you propose to your wife? Do you think she’ll stop after meeting them? What’s next? What will she want to know next????
She’s… Like it’s not a reach that Marcille is all over him. Like it doesn’t mean it’s romantic but she just is. She is not normal about him idk. Can you not ask him about what tongue technique he used when first kissing his wife, give the man breathing room
Marcille could literally go "if I was Chilchuck’s wife" having deeply pondered and thought out the hypothetical and people would still ask where anyone sees any romantic potential between them. Oh wait
There’s a platonic explanation for everything (almost?) in Dungeon Meshi don’t say I’m saying otherwise, but it’s definitely not like there’s nothing here to read into lol
Going off a bit more under read bc it’s my fave topic
Marcille has a whole theme with the charming prince trope with her idealization and storybook motif and Chil is kinda the "Well someone perfect like that isn’t very realistic and romance is usually more complex and that’s ok and good and flawed people can still be ✨virtuous✨" catalyst
Do you see do you see she starts canon thinking the most romantic thing is a prince charming but her arc in the end has her romanticizing an average, flawed, real and realistic family man, who’s on the poorer side and is on the verge of divorce. And that’s what he needed, too, seeing the positive of himself and the situation instead of focusing on the negative is explicitly what inspires him to hope that he might be able to reconcile with his wife, gives him the courage and self-esteem to shoot his shot.
He IS a prince figure instead that now it’s not about idealizing the grand and overt it’s about romanticizing the small things in real life!! About finding joy and beauty in things that seem normal or mundane and uplifting them to make the world feel kinder!!!!
He’s the devoted virtuous man that she wantsss not the storybook prince that’s unrealistic and could crumble like a script at any time. He’s the perfect example of a flawed realistic but virtuous & devoted & loving man. Far from a prince charming, but not fully detached from it either. Something worth fighting for despite the flawed cracks. Like literally, flawed romance being worth fighting for is literally the finale of Chilchuck and Marcille’s arc on the matter, where their separate arcs and issues intersect at the most crucial moment.
Marcille is important to Chil’s arc not only because of her optimism, but also because of her interest and knowledge in romance & matters of the heart, and that’s what he needs to both open his heart up to hope and to try to reconcile with his wife, like idk sounds gay
Their arc together is literally learning to 1) see each other for how they are and not undermining their qualities capacities etc etc while still not leaving flaws unchecked either and 2) opening up to people. Marcille LITERALLY makes Chil open his heart up to hope like idk man. What do you want from me. He’s literally the guy helping her through deconstructing novels and fantasy and rose tinted glasses and like. Deconstructing the prince charming figure into something more real but still romantically beautiful like KUI KUI STOOOOP STOP I’M ALREADY HOOKED I’M ALREADY-
Ok fine that’s me reading into the tropes too much forgive me for being storybook brained but like. Speaking his heart out to a lone woman on a balcony, Romeo and Juliette shit, asking if she, too, doesn’t want to meet his family, madly blushing. And like she’s learned with Chilchuck it’s all in the little things, all the implications he cannot speak aloud. She does reciprocate, does blush madly back, and the first thing she does is shower him in flowers and jewelry and what in her heart is coded as romantic gifts
A lady, stashed away in a high tower by her lonesome, waiting for someone to call out to her from below… Romeo courting type shit with an offer, a heartfelt spiel, implicit confession from underneath her balcony. Offering him flowers because he succeeded in calling out to her heart…….. And they have to climb to her too…. Crazy
Doesn’t it sound like a proposal. One that’s both so storybook-like and not, contrastedly real and grounded, all about the implications rather than in your face grand gestures, "Don’t you want to meet my family?". They literally have an arc about the topic of romance and this is the climax/pinnacle of it like god?? This is @ the woman who said "Chilchuck is a shy/bashful man so I know he wouldn’t tell me he loves me, but…" btw
To quote a friend, truly the shiny secret unlockable dating sim capture target : THE DUNGEON LORD BIT WAS SO FUNNY BECAUSE HE KNEW SHE'D TAKE IT HOOK LINE AND SINKER HES THE ONE WHO GOT HER TO TURN AROUND COMPLETELY SHES LIKE. WIDE EYED FLAG RAISED???? FLAG RAISED WITH CHILCHUCK 👀👀👀‼️👀👀‼️👀
And the way that this is the culmination of their arc together… Like people are not ready for the ‘Chil calling out to dunlord Marcille on the balcony has Romeo and Juliette romance novels imagery’ take. Or the ‘their arc is about growing to see beauty even in the non-idealized, in the flawed and in the real’ take which makes it so so perfect if she were to lower her ideal from a charming elven prince to a virtuous halfling man (which she does end up romanticizing)
So there, you got to witness in real time what happens when I think about marchil for longer than 2 minutes, there are so many layers it’s a deranged rabbithole. I saw the necronomicon of subtext and it’s driving me to madness with forbidden knowledge that no one else sees
……. Like what if I told you she implicitly picked Chilchuck over a "unrealistic prince charming who’s actually disingenuous" much earlier in the story already. If she was given the choice to think through going with a guy that seems perfect and chivalrous like her succubus she’d pick Chilchuck over the other actually. If I sound insane rn tune in for my full analysis on them coming this month hopefully thank youu. Interwoven arcs of fantasy vs reality and idealization vs pessimism I love youuu
So now you know the general thesis of my planned analysis about the importance of the prince charming figure in Marcille and Chilchuck’s arc, where she romanticizes things to a sometimes worrying degree or idealize people into something easy and digestible and poetic (like Chil being a kid, and then him being a virtuous ✨✨✨husband), and how she needs to value aesthetics less and actual acts and facts more, be more grounded (like seeing people for what they are flaws and all, and accepting that people need money and not pulling through on principles of honor or unity shouldn’t get Namari shamed) and a part of that is accepting that Chilchuck is BOTH flawed and virtuous, a loving husband that still has shitty moods and fumbled his marriage so bad etc etc. So it’s like, her image of perfect prince charming that will whisk you away on an ethereal romance -> realistic flawed middle aged dad with personality issues and a failing marriage but he still is worthy of love and having his cute grand romance story and his happy ending. Ik I keep repeating the same point through this but I need it to be burned into everyone’s brains it has its grip on me I can’t do this. They are so special……
#Someone did ask (on discord) btw i’m not just being a smartass though I do love being that too#This is stuff I cover in my upcoming marcille & chil arc analysis except here I can go full romo and don’t keep the strictly platonic angle#It’s at like 15k words rn I think. The 30 pics limit is killing me which is why I started asking my friend to do collages of panels for me#Sob#I keep alternating between it and the Falin analysis save me. Should be dropping soon idk i might test out having a beta reader for that on#Marchil foreplay is 2 years of being coworkers and slowly worming personal questions out of him until he blinks and she has#a key to his house#Dungeon meshi#marchil#marcille donato#chilchuck tims#like they’re so so funny look at this shit. Nonconsensual romanticizing of you as a person. Obsessive interest in your personal life#She’s latched so hard onto the “mystery” of him they’re deranged#MAYBE ITS ALL COMPROMISES MAYBE ITS ALL SWEET INBETWEENS <3#maybe we'll take our vision of what we thought we could be and make something new together. something for just us#Fumi rambles#Maaan Marcille’s ‘idealizing him into liking him even for all his flaws bc his personality is often kinda shitty’ arc’#and Chilchuck’s ‘prejudice against elves and mages and optimism into respect and trust’ arc are everything to me#Meta#Spoilers#Dungeon meshi manga spoilers#Tagged this so late oops#It’s so funny. She’s canonically wondered how Chil would be like as a lover#No no but like do u see. Fantasy is a key part of her chrcter and arc and he’s the foil to that he’s the thing that comes challenge it
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Strange Job Swap
“Oh it's beautiful!” exclaimed the customer waiting in line. I handed her a nicely decorated cake for her son's birthday.
“It's no big deal. Just doing my job.” I acted like it was no big deal, but really I was gladly accepting the praise!
“This is perfect though. Have you considered being an artist?” she replied with a slightly more serious look.
“Yes I have actually…but the job market is tough.”
“Aww you'll get there eventually! Don't give up! Well anyway, you made my day so for that, thank you!”
“You're welcome.” I was a bit sad though, because she was right; I SHOULD be an artist. I recently earned my bachelor's degree, but yet I was still stuck in this dumb hick town, working as a grocery store cake decorator. I may have been good at what I do but I wouldn't want to do it forever!
At least my co-workers are pretty decent, especially my fellow bakery buddies, Chase, Amber, and Domingo. Amber was cool and didn't take anyone’s shit, which is why I loved seeing her because I didn't have much confidence when dealing with unruly customers. Domingo was very sweet, and even though he didn't speak very good English, he's hella good at his job. And Chase, well…he's hot! His bleach blond hair somehow always caught the light at a perfect angle. I don't know how I even kept my focus when he's working next to me.
At the end of my shift, I clocked out, and decided to buy a couple groceries like I normally did. I scanned everything at the self-checkout, put the receipt into one of my bags, and started walking towards the exit. The store had 2 exits on either side of the front, but I only took one because the other had a certain asshole at it - Richard.
The greeter position was removed a long time ago, but they bring it back for employees that have been injured or are too old, so that they can keep their jobs. Now this old guy named Richard had surgery a long time ago and became the greeter while he recovered. But yet he never went back to his old position.
He always stays at one specific entrance, and the reason I hated him so much was because he's racist. Part of his job has him checking customers’ receipts to make sure they didn't steal anything, which seems pretty unnecessary when you have those anti-theft machines at the exit. But I've seen him. The only people he checks the receipts for are minorities. It's not a subtle thing either; he’s super friendly, greeting and saying goodbye to all the white people passing but when it comes to someone who's not, his demeanor suddenly changes.
My luck must've run out today, because I found the sliding glass doors at my usual exit were broken and currently being fixed. The area was blocked off by a barricade, and I knew there was only one other way to leave. I headed over to the other exit, and there Richard was, waving goodbye to a white mother and her toddler. He was wearing his typical gray uniform shirt that was clearly too small, because you could see his gut and nipples trying to poke through. Gross.
I moved through the aisle, trying not to draw attention to myself, but it was all for nothing because right on cue, Richard walked up to me and gave a great big (and so obviously fake) smile.
“Hello sir, can I see your receipt please?”
“Richard, it's me, Marco. I work in the bakery. You've seen me a million times before.” His smile suddenly faded, and his eyes narrowed, as if every ounce of happiness in his body just vanished.
“That's no excuse. How do I know you aren't stealing?”
“Because I want to keep my job?”
“Don't backtalk to me. You seem awfully suspicious today.” He then reached for his walkie talkie and started to page a manager. I really was able to walk out with no repercussions because I truly didn't steal anything, but there's a chance he would page the Asset Protection lady, who was almost as awful.
“Hello? Is anyone there?” Nobody answered him. Thank god.
“Am I free to go now?” I said happily. The anger returned to his face.
“Just don't let me catch you stealing again. Or there'll be consequences!”
“Yeah…suuuure.” I walked out the door, into my car, and back home. I can't believe some people honestly. I was so sick of this town! I needed to move away real soon.
When I got home my dog, Kenny, was excited to greet me as usual so I let him outside to do his business while I got into my running clothes, prepping for a run. As I let Kenny back in, I went to check the mail and found a weird envelope in between the bills and spam. I opened it up and it was a letter addressed “to whom it may concern”. I threw it away without a second thought but Kenny suddenly ran up to the trash can, took it out, and placed it back in front of me.
“You really want me to read this, don't you boy?” I said cheerily as I patted him on the head.
“To whom it may concern,
Are you struggling with your current job? Unhappy with the life you have? Well I have just the cure for that! We are now selling happiness inducing coins for only $1 with free shipping! One flip of this coin will guarantee you will soon get a job you love! Get it fast before it all runs out! Just follow the link on the back of this letter if you are interested.” - VV
I wondered who or what VV was supposed to be, and $1 with free shipping sounds too good to be true, so this seemed like a scam. I also wasn't a superstitious person, but for some reason my gut was telling me that this was a good idea. Kenny seemed to think so too as he was wagging his tail under the table and I read. I followed the link listed on the back of the page, typing in each random letter and number combination into my phone and ordered the lucky coin. I went to bed that night feeling a little more hopeful.
The next day at work was just like the previous day, only the door was fixed so I didn't have to walk out the exit Richard was standing at. We did make eye contact though, and he shot me a dirty look. I got home to find that the package had already arrived, which was awfully quick. I cut open the box and inside was a golden coin with a picture of a brain on it. The other side had a picture of a person with their arms spread wide. It was a really weird design. I read the instructions.
How to use:
Flip the coin
No matter what side it lands on, you'll be guaranteed happiness in your new job!
It sounded so lame, but I followed the instructions anyway. I flipped the coin the air, and slapped it on the back of my other hand. Tails. Nothing happened. I guess it was just $1 so it wasn't a huge waste of my time. It's pretty cool looking so maybe I could display it on my dresser or something.
I felt especially tired the rest of the night, but I was fine because I had a day off tomorrow. I was gonna go to the park with Kenny, as well as do a few errands. I was just glad I had time away from my job.
The next morning my alarm went off for some reason. I must've accidently set it by mistake. The weirder thing was Kenny wasn't there. Normally at the sound of my alarm, he comes running from wherever he was sleeping, and jumps on the bed to get me up. But there was nothing. When I started to truly wake up and become more alert, I realized that my alarm was set to the default or something. Instead of my usual calming piano, it was an annoying ringing. I opened my eyes to see what was happening. My vision was blurry, but I could tell I wasn't in my own room.
What happened? Did someone kidnap me? The alarm clock wasn't even on a phone, but rather it was an actual alarm clock. I had no idea what was going on, but I reached over to turn it off so I could think. I'm certain I must've been kidnapped somehow but why? And why would they set an alarm clock? I couldn't see but felt around the nightstand for a clue and found a pair of glasses. When I tried them on, just like that, my vision returned to normal. I had perfect vision before! Why did I suddenly need glasses? I reached up to scratch my head and found my hairline was incredibly receded. I was balding! I looked down with my now clear vision to find an even worse fact. I was chubby!
I sat up and stared at the foreign gut and two large man tits, as well as numerous graying chest hairs. I ran my hands through the hair, pinching them to make sure they were real. I pinched the tits as well, and felt sensations I've never felt before as they wobbled when I let go. I ran my hands through my face and felt a mustache and double chin, and began feeling nauseous at the thought of what I actually looked like. I didn't see a mirror in the room so I walked out the door trying to find a bathroom. The fat jiggled all around as I ran.
I got to the bathroom and nearly puked on the spot when I saw who I was. Richard. Oh god no. Of all people, I had to look like this racist bastard? I stared at myself and grazed my hands along my face. Suddenly I felt angry and started pinching it instead, as if I was doing the same thing to the real Richard, but denial didn't help; that was my face and it hurt. I touched his mustache and pinched it, as if it would come off.
Just then I heard the doorbell ring. I didn't want to interact with anybody looking like this but until I figured out how to fix it, I knew I had to pretend to be Richard. I answered the door to find the mailman.
“Howdy Rich! Woah uh.” He stared at my chest. I forgot I was still shirtless. Having this much fat hanging from my body was almost like answering the door naked. “I see you've lost some weight!” he said, obviously lying.
“Oh uh, thanks.” I replied, trying to imitate Richard’s voice, which was pretty easy considering I've mocked him before.
“Well anyway, not much today; just a letter.” He handed me a letter with a purple stamp on it.
“Well uh see you tomorrow!” The mailman went on his way and I closed the door. I opened the letter and found a note similar to the lucky coin advertisement.
To whom it may concern,
Good morning! I trust that your lucky coin worked well? Welcome to your new life! As promised, you now have a job that you love. Unhappy with the results? Just flip the coin once again, and make sure it lands on what it landed on before! If not, however, your fate is sealed. Best Wishes! - VV, Venefica Viola
Shit. They're not lying though. Richard did love his job. And since I was in his body, I now had that job! But who is this Venefica Viola? It sounded like Latin somehow. I walked back to the bedroom to find Richard’s phone. Luckily he didn't have any lock screen pin so I could easily get in. I searched for a translator, dodging the random pop up ads that were everywhere on his phone and looked up Venefica Viola.
Violet Witch. So magic is involved somehow. I needed to get my coin back so I could undo this! It must still be at my own house. Shit! I just realized why the alarm clock went off. Richard worked today! He had perfect attendance and never uses his PTO, so not going in was gonna look suspicious. I glanced at the clock and realized I only had 20 minutes.
Even though I'd love to see Richard be humiliated by going to work in his underwear, I decided that it wasn't worth attracting attention so I looked through his clothes to put on a work uniform. I found a pair of boxers and accidently flashed myself when I completely forgot I didn't have my own dick either. It was all wrinkly, but honestly a lot bigger than I thought. No. I was not about to get horny over Richard's dick! I found what he normally wore to work and put the rest on. I found tucking the shirt was more difficult than usual, as I had to pull it over my belly.
I guess I could make this work…for now. I hated to admit it, but Richard wasn't all that bad looking. It was his personality and habits that made him so repulsive, but now that I was in control of him, he didn't look all that bad. Maybe I could even turn things around for now and do something nice for the people I know he hates. I grabbed the car keys on the nearby table, and drove to work.
I walked in the store, put Richard's nametag on, and clocked in. I nearly started walking to the bakery area but stopped myself. I guess I'm really going to have to be a greeter for a day. This feels humiliating. I made my way to the front entrance and just stood there, waiting for customers to enter or exit.
Soon enough customers began arriving and I tried my best to act like Richard, though one customer asked if I was all right because I guess I overdid it. I didn't ask any customers to show their receipts though, because I might as well take advantage of being a greeter. I noticed Domingo at the checkout and when he bagged up his groceries, he approached me first instead of the door. He hastily grabbed his receipt and started showing it to me. I wasn't about to let this happen.
“No no it's ok. You don't have to show me the receipt anymore.”
“No?” He looked shocked.
“Checking receipts is stupid anyway. I don't need to do it anymore.”
“Really? I can go?”
“Yep! Have a good day.” It was unnerving seeing him so scared at the sight of me, but he smiled like normally did as he put the receipt back in the bag and walked out.
As I moved towards the break room to take my break, I noticed someone who looked awfully familiar walk through the door. It was…me! I mean Richard. It must've been; if I was in his body, he must've been in mine. It became more obvious by the way he was walking, taking big steps as if he was used to having his gut swinging around…like mine was now. God I hated this. I had to talk to him to sort things out. He smirked as I approached.
“Hey!”
“Oh it's you. I mean me. I mean,” he paused for a second and rounded his mouth into an even bigger smile, which looked uncanny with my face. “The old me.”
“What do you mean ‘the old you’”?
“Well seeing as I'm much younger now, while you're much older, I think the term is appropriate.”
“Well yeah, but not for long. I'm going to switch us back.”
“Oh no you're not! I may have preferred being white, but I’m enjoying youth again! Oh, and don't worry. I saw that coin thing and that letter this morning, and I made sure it would never see the light of day again. You got that…Richard?”
He called me that in the same mocking tone that I always use to call him. I can't believe this!
“Y-you can't do this! I had a future!”
“That's my future now old man. You know maybe I could be a model with these looks. Maybe make one of those, what do you kids call it? OnlyFans?”
God no, I'm an artist, not a pornstar. He can't do this!
“The greeter is a real fun job, Richard. Enjoy it. You're hired!”
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HEYYYYY CAN I PLS PLS PLS request the same football guys on ur period headcanon with a clumsy gf that js always falls and hits things and very careless with their body and stuff
Gavi:
- To begin with it scared Pablo how clumsy you were he always notices a few new bruises on you every time he sees you and he just worries that you will seriously hurt yourself one day and he doesn't want to see that as he doesn't like to see you in pain
- As time goes on he gets used to it and he knows that your clumsiness is just part of you and it's something he learns to love especially the little noises you make as you trip up or accidentally knock something over
- You are always apologising when you accidentally knock over something or walk into something in Pablo's house and every time he tells you that there's no need for you to apologise but he will never be able to change that habit as everyone else in your life expects apologise for you just being the way you are
- Pablo develops a sixth sense almost about when you are going to hurt yourself whenever you go anywhere he can just tell if you will trip over something so he tries his best to stop it happening but he can't always intervene in time but he's always there to help you up or make you feel less embarrassed
- Sometimes Pablo protects you without realising he's doing it if you are both in the kitchen and you are bent down getting something from a cupboard Pablo will put his hand above your head so when you come back up your head hits his hand instead of the counter
Pedri:
- Pedri gets used to your clumsiness pretty quickly he's met plenty of people who are a bit clumsy although you are worse than all of them combined at times but that doesn't put him off as he just loves you for you
- He likes to make jokes about your clumsiness at times but whenever he's injured you always come right back at him and that usually stops his teasing as he knows your not wrong both of you can be a bad as each other when it comes to injuries
- Seeing as you are both quite often hurt in some way you do a lot of taking care of each other you always help Pedri with his recovery and give him massages to help his muscles and he's always cleaning your cuts or putting cream on your bruises to help them heal faster
- He doesn't like to see you hurt especially if something hurts you a bit more than normal and causes a few tears that really upsets him as he doesn't like to see you in so much pain he always wishes he could completely take away all the pain you feel but he can't so instead he just comforts you when your hurt
- As much as he hates seeing you in pain he weirdly loves your clumsiness it makes you unique and he loves getting to the end of the day and hearing about all of the silly things you've done throughout the day like walking into your desk that you sit at every day it always brightens his day the way you can laugh at the stupid things you do
Jude:
- When you first start dating and seeing more of each other Jude notices that you always come round with new bruises and straight away he worries that someone is hurting you when you go home but he doesn't mention it to begin with as he doesn't want to trigger you
- One day when you turn up with a burn on your hand from your hair straightener he can't hold back his worries any longer and he sits you down and asks you seriously if you are ok or if anyone is hurting you that's when you explain that you are just clumsy and you tell him where all of your bruises and other injures are from which calms him down
- Once he knows that you are ok and that no one is hurting you he feels a lot better but he's still worried that you are able to do all of this to yourself but you reassure him that you are fine and it's something you've lived with your whole life which again makes him feel a bit less worried as he knows that you are used to it all
- From that day onwards he decided that he wants to do everything that he can to protect you so that you don't end up with as many bruises because he hates to see your legs and arms covered in them
- When he's with you he always makes sure that you don't walk into things or trip on things it's not easy as somehow you always find a way to walk into doorframes or trip on seemingly nothing but he does his best to keep you safe but if he can't he will always put bandages on your injures so that you don't make them worse
Joao:
- Joao can be clumsy at times and some days he's worse than others but you are like 10x worse than he is pretty much constantly most of the time you can't go the whole day without doing something anyone else would consider clumsy but you just consider it normal life
- When you moved in with Joao he was already well aware of your clumsiness so he pretty much baby proof the house so he makes sure there isn't rugs anywhere you would walk everyday and any furniture with sharp corners have protection on them so you can't hurt yourself if you walk into them
- To minimise the chance of serious injury Joao won't let you do anything that involves getting on a ladder without him there and even anything that involves using a sharp knife he doesn't like you to do alone but you don't mind as it means you get to do those things together which makes them more fun
- When you have people over you try and be extra careful as you don't want to embarrass yourself but one day Joao has some people over and you accidentally trip while carrying groceries which makes his friends laugh but he gets straight up to check on you and make sure you are ok and aren't embarrassed because he truly cares about you
- He then has to explain that you are just clumsy but that he loves that about you and his friends quickly move on from laughing especially when he tells them that you will always try harder not to seem so clumsy around other people
Hector:
- Hector is quick to notice that you are always tripping over things and sometimes nothing other than your own two feet when you go to his your trip on the rug every time and when you go out places any uneven part of the pavement will get you
- Once he notices the pattern he moves the rug in his place because he doesn't want you to trip every time you come and see him especially because he sees the way you blush every time and he knows you get embarrassed and he cares a lot more about you than a rug which is just there for decoration
- Whenever you go anywhere together he makes sure that he is always holding your hand so he can either steer you round uneven parts in the pavement or hold you up if you do trip so that you don't fall
- You often worry that Hector won't want to be seen with you especially as he becomes more well known as you think he won't want to be associated with someone who can't stand on their own two feet properly as his teammates will make fun of him or fans will make fun him for being with you
- Hector doesn't care at all about being seen with you he is more than happy to show you off because he loves you even if people judge him for it that won't change his feelings and he definitely won't stand for people making fun of you so he will block people on social media who make fun of you
Marc:
- There are times that Marc doesn't know how you haven't broken a bone before he's always expecting you to be at the hospital on your nighttime FaceTime calls on the days you don't see each other but it hasn't happened yet in the years he's known you
- He likes to joke with you and ask what new injuries you have every time he talks to you but as much as he jokes around he really does care about you so if you were to ever really hurt yourself he would be so upset or even if you just get sick of being clumsy he is always there to comfort you
- When he's with you he does everything he can to stop you getting hurt as he never likes seeing you hurt he becomes really protective when it comes to you if he could fight the floor after it trips you up he would but he can't so instead he just tries his best to make sure you are ok
- On the off chance he can't intervene before you hurt yourself he will baby you and take care of you for the rest of the day you won't have to lift a finger so there's no chance that you can't do anymore damage to your body
- Even if he's not with you if you tell him that you accidentally cut yourself even if it doesn't hurt he will invite himself over to take care of you as he can't have his girlfriend hurting without him being there he has to be there to cuddle you and make you feel better
#gavi imagine#gavi x reader#pedri imagine#gavi#pedri#jude bellingham imagine#jude bellingham#joao felix imagine#joao felix#hector fort imagine#hector fort x reader#marc guiu#marc guiu imagine#marc guiu x reader
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Lost in You T | 1,247 words Prompt for @steddielovemonth: Love is when you look at his lips for half the conversation because you can't stop thinking about kissing him
Steve had a problem.
Or, no- Steve has a problem.
He did think it was a one off issue, something that would sort itself out if he just ignored it for a while. But, instead, it only seems to have gotten worse.
He really, really wants to kiss Eddie.
At first, he didn't think anything of his staring problem. The world was ending, people were dying, there wasn't time to worry about small things like that.
Although, even after they defeated Vecna, Steve continued to stare. He continued to dismiss it as a normal, totally platonic thing.
As Robin said; "it's almost embarrassing how long it took you to realize".
But, at the time, it had felt so normal. It still does.
Eddie's a good looking guy and Steve has eyes. Of course he's going to look at his best features. His lips just... are the one that draws his focus most of all.
He's sure that no one would blame him, either. With how full Eddie's lips are, how he tends to bite his lower lip when he's stressed, how he pouts so much when he's asking for favors, how he licks his lips whenever he looks Steve over, looking so plump and pink and-
... well. At least he knows he has a problem.
For a while, he thought that it was that simple. He had thought that he was doing a miraculous job of hiding how distracted he always gets, how he gets lost in the daydreams.
"And I know I'm boring," Eddie says, casually. "But-"
"Wait, what?" Steve interrupts, confused. "You're not boring, who said you're boring?"
"C'mon, don't lie to me, man. I know you hate how much I drone on about shit."
"No, I don't? If I didn't like hearing your rants and that then I wouldn't ask about those things."
Eddie huffs, looking always, shoulders hunching as he mutters, "coulda fooled me."
"Eds, where the hell is this coming from?"
"You don't listen to me!" He explodes. "You just- I don't know. Your fucking eyes glaze over half the time- and I know you don't care about this shit but could you at least pretend?"
"Wh- oh. Oh, no, that's... that's not because I think you're boring, I swear."
"Why then?"
"That... I don't know if I should say."
"Right," Eddie mumbles, shaking his head. He gets up, grabbing his jacket off the armchair next to him. "Of course you can't."
"Wait, where are you going?
"Away from you."
"But- I just don't get it right now. Like, I need time to figure some shit out, you know? I don't wanna tell you one thing now and then have to take it back later. You know? It's... complicated."
Eddie pauses, before slowly turning back to look at him.
"You just need time?"
"Yeah. That's it, I swear."
"And then you'll tell me what the fuck this is about?"
"Promise."
But, uncomfortable and uncertain, Eddie keeps his distance after that. He is careful to avoid group hangouts, using Corroded Coffin or Hellfire or his uncle as an excuse when needed.
He even lies about being ill one time.
It only serves to make Steve feel guilty about his own confusion. Especially considering he's no closer to figuring his mind out than he was when they spoke.
He has to get it right though. He's not sure they'd be ok if Steve assumes he wants to kiss Eddie because he wants to date him, only to later realize it's only lust.
Steve's sure that it would sting just as much to assume that it's only lust and later, when it's too late, to realize it's love.
"That sounds like a terrible idea," Lucas points out.
Out of everyone Steve thought would figure out why Steve and Eddie were so tense all of a sudden, he didn't think it would be one of the kids.
"It's the best thing I can do right now," Steve points out.
"No, it's not?" Lucas frowns at him, expression a mix of frustration and disbelief. "The best thing you can do right now is talk to him. Actually tell him why you need time. Tell him that you're worried about disappointing him."
"I'm not gonna dump all this shit on him."
"Jesus, you're worse than Mike."
"Hey-"
"He doesn't know any of this, Steve. He's probably thinking of the worst case scenario. What if he thinks you're going to kick him out the party?"
"I can't do that," Steve can't help but snort. "Even if I wanted to, I don't have that sort of authority over you brats."
"Steve! He doesn't know that! You have to talk to him, soon. He's not going to wait forever when he doesn't even know that he's supposed to be waiting or what he's waiting for!"
"But what if-"
"No."
"What?"
"I have to pick up Erica. I've told you what you should do, so do it."
Lucas makes a shooing gesture at him once he's out the car and, reluctantly, Steve turns the car around.
He heads to the trailer park.
"Hey," Eddie greets, looking him over. "You had enough time now?"
"Sort of," Steve winces. He shifts, glancing behind Eddie. "Is your uncle home? We should... talk."
"He isn't," he steps back, gesturing Steve inside.
Steve steps inside, hovering in the middle. He turns when he hears the door click shut.
"I have a problem," he blurts. "I mean, uh... Robin has always teased that I never know if I love a girl or just want... but that's- I was worried that I was, uh, maybe doing that with you? And I don't want to rush into anything or have this turn out like-"
"Woah, woah, woah. Slow down, big boy, you've already lost me. What does this," he waves his hand between them, "have to do with the girls you date?"
"Everything. Eddie, I'm not ignoring you because you're boring, I can't stop... I can't stop thinking about you."
"What?"
"You've got really nice lips, dude."
Eddie blinks at him, eyebrows disappearing behind his fringe. "What?"
"What do you mean, what? I know you like me, it's why I don't want to rush into anything and then later realize it was just, like, lust. I can't do that to you, Eds."
"So, wait, ok," Eddie waves his hands around, face scrunched and voice high. "Wait. You've known that I like you this whole time?!"
"Yeah? It's fine, I don't mind, it's no big deal."
"It's no- what the fuck, Steve!"
"Was I supposed to tell you that I knew?"
"No- or, yes- but not- ugh!"
"Whatever, ok, that's not the point! I just- I don't want you worrying and thinking this is because of anything bad. I still need time to figure this out."
"To figure out if you want to fuck me or not?"
"Oh, no, that's not a maybe, I definitely do. I just don't know if I might, like, love you too." Steve scratches his jaw, pondering on that while Eddie flails. "Well... I'm pretty sure there's a crush there at least. I don't usually get so distracted by the idea of just kissing that I check out of conversations."
"Fucking hell, Harrington, you're ridiculous."
"What-"
Eddie strides over to him, taking his face in both hands, cutting him off with a kiss.
It's barely more than a press of lips, but Steve feels alight.
It's better than his daydreams could have prepared him for.
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I hope this isn't a weird ask (you can ignore this if it is), but would it be okay to ask for some HCs about how the guys are with a hunter S/O? But instead of hunting the usual demons the boys are used to, they hunt things like the monsters in Bloodborne.
Bonus points if their S/O has a tamed beast that operates the same as V's familiars.
It's not weird at all! It's an interesting concept I had a lot of fun working on. Enjoy! 💜
Sparda boys + V x Devil Hunter! S/O headcannons
¤ Dante ¤
-Dante got so excited when he found out you were a devil hunter like him. Finally, someone that understands the pain of fighting supernatural, otherworldly creatures.
-Wants to go on jobs with you all the time, not caring what it is you're doing, or what you're hunting, he just wants to spend time with you.
-Trades weapons with you and teaches you how to use his guns while you teach him to use your weapons. It's cute, and handy if either of you lose your stuff mid battle.
-He expected to fight empusas and other weak, annoying demons. When he saw what you were going up against, he was visibly shocked for a moment. You hunt those? Seriously?
-Dante respects you for being able to deal with those monsters, but at the same time fears for your safety. Now he insists on going with you on every mission just to make sure you're safe.
-If you happen to have a familiar or pet, Dante will treat the thing like a housebroken pet whenever it's around, always feeding it treats and stuff.
■ Vergil ■
-Is very intrigued by the fact that you too are a devil hunter, since there aren't exactly that many people practicing the profession.
-Wants to mentor you and teach you the ways of the blade so you can be more prepared whenever you fought dangerous demons.
-The day you asked him to come along on a mission with you was the day his heart turned into a butterfly that flew down to his stomach and flapped around for hours on end--that is to say, he was very excited to see you in action.
-When he saw the creatures you'd be up against, however, his demon instincts clicked and he immediately portaled you out of there with the Yamato and started slicing up all the monsters before you could.
-After that he and you had a talk, and while he wanted to be by your side during missions 24/7, he respected your wishes to be independent and decided on a compromise: You could go alone, as long as you called him regularly and asked for backup or retreated whenever you needed it.
-Is largely indifferent to your pet/familiar, if you happen to have one.
○ Nero ○
-You are now his rival! Don't worry, it's in a friendly way.
-Nero competes with you to see who can kill more demons, or who can take down the creature first, or who can kill demons the fastest, etc. Etc.
-When he saw the kind of creatures you normally go up against, he immediately rushed in, declaring that he would kill them all before you could--and so the challenge began.
-It's fun, competing with him in battle, and what's more, this way, creatures rarely get the jump on you, and if they do, they're demolished immediately.
-Competes with your familiar/pet, too, since he sees it as an extension of you.
-All in all, you two (or three) are the most badass monster slaying team to have ever walked the earth.
● V ●
-Was honestly a little concerned when he learned of your occupation. After all, he would hate for anything to happen to his precious.
-When he accompanied you on one of your missions, he was shocked to say the least. These were the creatures you fought on a near daily basis? They were unlike any demon he'd seen before; they were far more grotesque and possibly too ugly for even he to write a poem about.
-Afterwards, he became even more worried about your safety than before and kept trying to have his familiars follow you when you left for missions.
-He insisted on going with you more often, but his weakness often prevented him from doing much, especially in battle, so he reluctantly stayed behind and wrote beautiful compositions about how he felt about you endangering yourself like that so often.
-If you have familiars/and or pets like him, he will be more than happy to play with them, take care of them, or maybe even take them for walks if they're needed.
-His familiars will definitely be interacting with your familiars; hopefully one of them can talk because Griffon is a chatterbox.
#Dmc#Dmc5#devil may cry 5#Devil may cry#Dmc5 dante#Dmc5 vergil#Dmc5 Nero#Dmc5 v#Dmc vergil#Dmc dante#Dmc Nero#Dmc v#Devil may cry dante#Devil may cry vergil#Devil may cry Nero#Devil may cry v#Dante x reader#Nero x reader#Vergil x reader#V x reader#Dmc dante x reader#dmc vergil x reader#Dmc Nero x reader#Dmc v x reader#Requested#thanks for requesting#icycoldninja writes#Headcannons#Dmc headcannons
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Guys I’m an old people defender i wholeheartedly believe Wu is a good teacher and person (teen wu and younger was a good character, older wu doesnt have the same effect tho and just falls under a decent character)
Like guys he didn’t mean for Morro to go insane over the green ninja thing, i dont think anyone would’ve expected that to happen with a damn baby. Not to mention that as much as people like to say he abused or neglected Morro or whatever, canonically speaking he hasn’t. In the end what happened to Morro was the effect of his own insecurities and Wu’s lack of understanding.
Wu was not at fault for the whole kai getting obsessed with the green ninja thing or any of the other ninja doing the same, that was all their own faults for being all nosy (as teenage boys with too much power do.)
Wu might’ve overreacted after finding out what Garm did with the letter business in season 4, but just cause he cussed out his BROTHER once (guys they’re siblings, this is the norm and Wu was fully justified to be irritated. Also there will always be a tension between them because they’ve had to fight against each other for either decades, hundreds of years, or thousands of years. They will never have the normal sibling relationship they once only somewhat had.) that was still his brother he just lost and definitely feels guilt at not getting to reconcile PROPERLY with him. Just because you are mad at an individual, genuinely mad at them, does not mean you hate them.
Wu was not at fault for the whole Garmadon getting sent to the under world his clothes literally starts glowing mf was not planning that. He was literally about to die because of Garmadon i think he was a tad preoccupied with that.
Wu is not at fault for Lloyd becoming the green ninja, its shown that he cannot control who gets chosen and was quite obviously hoping it would be the damn teenagers trained to deal with this, not the damn baby who would have to fight his DAD. The whole reason he trained Lloyd so hard after was because he is well aware of how being the green ninja is a curse, especially to Lloyd. He knew a target was on Lloyds back now and for the rest of time and he can do nothing to remove it, only help Lloyd in handling it.
Aspheera is a huge SOGGY BISCUIT I HATE HER I AHTE HEERYEYYE. She is so hypocritical and its all her fault and not Wu’s don’t even try it (i love her character thats why i hate her sm). Wu was literally a baby when the whole betrayal thing happened, and how could he have known his damn students would open up her prison cell and she’d take Kai’s power. Kai had a right to mad about getting dragged into it but even he admits he was reacting the way he was because his powers got stolen. Aspheera was completely at fault for what happened to her.
I wont deny that whatever was going on between Misako and Wu in the early seasons was super weird, but I’m also not going to call it betrayal or cheating for Garmadon because Garmadon had been gone for a good decade and tbh it was rlly bad writing of writers trying to shove romance everywhere.
He took in a bunch of teenagers, thats something i wont deny to also be bad. But don’t you find it convenient that Wu took them each in during separate times of need? Cole, deep in grief, needed to become a ninja because it completed him. Jay, desperate for a place and purpose in this world, needed to be a ninja to become confident and aware of his worth. Zane, confused and lost, needed to be a ninja to find his own place in the world, needed to be a ninja because he needed to have a purpose, a home. Kai, angry and traumatised, needed to become a ninja to become the best version of himself. Wu knew of each of them, and only took them in when he knew they needed an outside source to lead them.
Literally i dont understand why people paint him as a villain. He has never been one. It’s like how Mystake said, the only reason one becomes wise is through their own mistakes, their own life and experiences. Wu is an old, old man. He is right when he says he’s not like how he used to be.
I could keep going, but God guys. Stop mischaracterising characters! You can dislike them all you want, its your life, but don’t change what they have done and call them a bad person when that isn’t true.
You can call Wu a character with mistakes, a character heavily in the light grey area of good and evil.
WU IS NOT A BAD GUY GUYS STOP CALLING HIM ONE 😭
#lego ninjago#ninjago#morro ninjago#ninjago morro#lloyd ninjago#wu ninjago#ninjago wu#ninjago sensei wu#kai ninjago#nya ninjago#garmadon#emperor garmadon#garmadon x misako#young garmadon#ninjago garmadon#zane ninjago#cole ninjago#jay ninjago#ninjago misako#they were all destined for the worse things imaginable#and when those things happen you make mistake#most you can never go back on#but you learn and you grow and you make less#but they still happen#people tend to forget destiny is a huge driving factor in Ninjago#literally those kids would have to do what they did anyways they lowkey wouldve went through it anyways#with or without wu#be happy it was with wu😭
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It’s been about a month since I beat Shadow of the Erdtree. Thinking it through, especially the ending, I think my thoughts have changed.
I think I hate that final boss and the lore around him even more than I did before.
Call me a Godwyn Stan, but I will die in the hill that he made far more sense than Radahn, and I’m gonna explain it.
Building up to the dlc, we know Miquella is close to three people in particular. His sister, Malenia, his father, Radagon, and his half brother, Godwyn. After Godwyn dies, Miquella becomes obsessed with bringing him back, or granting him a proper death. He tries an eclipse to bring him back, it doesn’t work, implied to be because the eclipse just will not happen. Now why would a heavenly body not move into its proper place again?
Oh yeah, Radahn! Guys got a hard on for holding back the stars. So it made sense that him being dead was a dlc requirement, on top of why Malenia would have fought him in the first place. It just fueled the idea we were going to see Godwyn even more.
Yeah, Godwyn is dead. I keep seeing that argument thrown around like it means literally anything. He’s super dead, prince of death, lord of the undead, blah blah, this argument is nothing but noise. The Realm of Shadow is where all things that die pass through. It’s basically the land of the dead! This argument that Godwyn is dead, to me, is the single dumbest argument against his return when you’re in a place all dead things go. That’s like saying Godwyn’s soul is trash, so you shouldn’t expect to find him in a garbage dump. If there was a single narrative way to bring that beautiful idiot back, it would be in this dlc because of where it takes place. If they had brought him back this way, no one would have batted an eye at its inclusion.
So, the dlc takes place in the land where all dead things pass through that is super hard to get to through by any normal means, so no one could really try to revive Godwyn this way. It has a plot where Miquella, who is obsessed with bringing Godwyn back, is trying to revive someone from death by shoving them into a new body, and then they don’t do it? They bring back Radahn like that made any form of narrative sense? Like two missable lines of dialogue from two separate NPCs can satisfyingly explain this stupid idea?
I don’t know if it was Miyazaki or GRRM who wrote this, but maybe next time they should let the intern with no writing experience do the plot for the next game, they might do a better job at crafting a sensible narrative.
There is so much to love about this dlc, and I’ve said it before in a previous post that I’m just better at airing out my grievances at a thing than my praises. But when I replay it, I have such a hard time finding the motivation to finish the second half of the dlc, knowing that is what waits me at the end. It feels like such a waste.
Rant over. I hope you have a nice day.
Edit: you know what, rant is not over(but I still hope you had a nice day)! This entire mess of a plot could have been avoided if they just… didn’t have Miquella resurrect anyone! Have an original boss! It’s almost as if this plot was designed with online discourse in mind because there is no way to not think of Godwyn when you think of Miquella trying to bring someone back from the dead!
Okay, now I’m done.
#fromsoftware#elden ring shadow of the erdtree#elden ring spoilers#shadow of the erdtree spoilers#shadow of the erdtree#elden ring shadow of the erdtree spoilers#elden ring godwyn#elden ring miquella#elden ring#miquella the kind#miquella the unalloyed
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I gotta say I forgot until rewatching The Bear recently how much I hate Claire. I don't mean as a character. I understand why her character was introduced and the purpose it served and she's an integral part of the overarching story being told -
But as a person, if she were a real person, I hate her so much.
She bumped into a childhood friend she hadn't spoken to in years, right? From what I can tell, she and Carmy were never close friends. They went to the same school. Their social circles were in close proximity, maybe even overlapped to a degree - but the two of them, specifically, were not close friends. Not even close enough to be friends.
And she bumps into him after years without speaking to him, and basically asks for Carmy's number. Carmy's in a social situation where it would be somewhat rude, and very awkward, to deny her, and Claire is aware that's the case, and purposefully exploits it.
Then later, she finds out he gave her a fake number. She's an intelligent person. She knows it wasn't by mistake. And what does she do? She goes to fucking Fak and gets his real number, which she knows Carmy doesn't want her to have, and then calls Carmy and asks him why he gave her a fake number as if that isn't? Self-explanatory? Why do people usually give fake numbers, Claire?
And once again, she's putting him in this position where it would be very rude, and very awkward, to say, "I didn't give you my real number because I didn't want you to have my real number." She's already aware that he wasn't able to bring himself to do the rude and awkward thing the first time - she knows he won't be able to this time either. And then she has the audacity to tell him not to "make it weird," and ask him if he's actually okay with her having his number, when she knows he wouldn't feel comfortable telling her the truth!
What is wrong with her? If she were a male character we would all rightfully hate her. We would all readily recognize that this behavior is inappropriate, stalker-like behavior. And what's most infuriating about it is most women have been in this situation before, where a guy has asked them for their number and they didn't feel safe or comfortable outright saying, "No." Most women have given fake numbers, especially young, conventionally attractive women like Claire. You can't tell me that Claire has never given a fake number before.
And then? What does she do? She excuses her own inappropriate behavior by telling him that the only reason she's calling is to ask him to help her move? Are you fucking kidding me? First of all, "Can you help me move?" is the kind of question you generally only ask people who are pretty close to you, because you're aware it's a laborious and unenjoyable thing to do. But on top of that, she's supposedly asking Carmy because she knows that Carmy at one point owned a truck and might still own that truck. The same truck Neil Fak could just as easily drive! Why the fuck are you asking Carmy to help you move in case he still owns that truck, when you could ask Fak, who you are much closer to? Like? You're really going to ask someone you haven't spoken to in years, who you just happened to bump into, and who very obviously intentionally gave you a fake number, to help you move? When you already know he's not comfortable turning you down?! What is wrong with her? How fucking entitled is that?
And one thing that is frustrating is how even though we are meant to root against Carmy and Claire's relationship, and there's purposeful foreshadowing of its end, and even narrative hints that Claire isn't right for Carmy, and that she's an antagonist in this story - I don't think we're supposed to have a problem with her behavior. I don't think any of this was meant to contribute to us not liking her, or not wanting Carmy to be with her. I really think we were supposed to be endeared by all of this and think it's all perfectly normal flirtation, and not manipulative and predatory behavior.
What's more is that the heart of this story isn't about a man opening a restaurant, or a man falling in love - it's about a man learning to recover from trauma. If you found the lowest common denominator of this story and simplified it, that's what this story would be about. A mentally ill man healing.
I just rewatched the freezer scene. It is alarming - but all of it says more about how Carmy perceives himself, than how he sees Claire, or their relationship, or love. All of it is a neon sign advertising Carmy's severe mental state, and it is obvious this man needs help. He needs support. He needs reassurance from loved ones.
I understand why Claire hearing what Carmy said would be hurtful. I understand why she would be upset. I understand why she would be questioning their relationship.
And still, I think, you really just heard Carmy, this man you supposedly love, say all that - and you're just going to leave him like that? You're just going to leave and not reach out again at any point?
And especially with Claire, who is a medical professional working in the fucking emergency room. I would bet on a daily basis she gets people in the emergency room who are in a state of mental distress. Who are thinking about killing themselves, or have attempted to kill themselves. She knows what mental illness looks like, how it manifests, and the way it makes people think!
And she just left! She just left because she took it all personally and made it all about herself and how it affected her!
You can't tell me that woman ever loved Carmy. You can't even tell me that woman ever knew Carmy.
And if this was all it took - one single glimpse into Carmy's trauma - to make her leave, she was never, ever going to be right for Carmy. She was never, ever going to be what Carmy needed. She was never, ever going to be "healthy" for him, or "peace."
Sydney has glimpsed Carmy's trauma on multiple occasions now. She glimpsed it in season 1, when she and Carmy had only begun to have a mutual respect and investment in each other on an acquaintance shared-workspace level - and even though Syd left too, she came back. She came back even when Carmy's symptoms then were being purposefully directed at her and others - whereas Claire was never supposed to hear what Carmy was saying in the freezer. Syd came back even though they weren't committed in the same way, even though she wasn't supposedly in love with him, and even though what she got was worse. And she's been in that same position multiple times since, to different degrees - but nonetheless. She always knows her worth, and what she deserves - but it never means abandoning Carmy completely. It never means making his problems about her.
Fuck Claire so much, honestly. I'm so glad she's gone. This is just another way it is so obvious it was always, always going to be Sydney.
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