#especially when it's so complicated like this

[famouskoaladetective]

My mom was an abusive alcoholic for most of my early childhood.

She got sober but surrounded us with people from AA who she knew were sex offenders and she didn't protect me from them because she thought being sober made them good people who wouldn't hurt me.

She got married multiple times and prioritized her partners over me, even lying to have me hospitalized when she wanted to elope with husband #2, and she let him hit me.

She repeatedly voluntarily put me into foster care or the care of family members growing up because she couldn't handle having a disabled queer kid, especially with her drinking and mental health problems.

She made me drop out of school because she didn't want to be awake when I would have to do homeschooling if I homeschooled. Plus, me dropping out meant I could work in her boyfriend's tattoo shop, until the artists (my bosses) relapsed, and gave my aunt hep c, closing the shop and leaving me with nothing.

She promised to let me live with her until I got on my feet when my dad died when I was 17, but put me out on the street 6 months after I turned 18 because husband #3 didn't like my Abyssinian cat or my boyfriend (who his kids/my step sisters had beaten up and stolen Adderall from in highschool)

She basically let me be homeless. She doesn't help me with leaving abusive situations and we've been estranged on and off during my adult life to the point where we stopped talking and when I reached back out, I had another kid she didn't know about and she was onto husband #4.

But she's my lawyer.

She's the only family I have left since my dad's dead and my partner destroyed my relationship with my grandmother (who's so far gone with dementia, she doesn't know who I am)

I'm kinda forced to have a relationship with my mom to protect myself.

Granted, she's doing much better than she was when I was younger. Living overseas and marrying my current step dad mellowed her out.

But yeah... I don't like my mom very much, but I love my parents, and I need their help a lot as single disabled trans parent. So I deal with her mental health symptoms, including narcissistic tendencies (don't come at me, I'm not claiming 'narc abuse ', but she is diagnosed with severe BPD with narcissistic tendencies and it does affect our relationship because she does the whole "I hate you, don't leave me" thing towards me out of habit. She's done it my whole life and it's getting better but it's still a problem. I understand that it's due to her trauma and I don't hold it against her but ngl it hurts.)

So yeah sometimes people's relationships with their parents are complicated but they just have to deal with it. Don't judge people, we're just adults dealing with lifetimes of baggage.

[genderqueerdykes]

btw you're allowed to go off on people who misgender trans women who are also men and say that trans women can't identify that way. you're allowed to go off on anyone who polices transfeminine identities. the amount of people who discredit trans women who are also men, transneutral, transmasculine, agender, multigender, genderfluid, polygender, gender variant, gnc or any other experience other than "binary trans woman" is staggering.

people will literally freak the fuck out at you for saying trans women can literally also be men and that doesn't invalidate their womanhood. people will freak the hell out at you and tell you that transfeminine butches don't belong in the community, and especially not transfems who are intersex, bigender, multigender, genderfluid, genderqueer or "too masculine" or transfems who "look/sound like men". they freak out at you, you're allowed to fight back.

people will freak the fuck out and misgender trans women who use it/its and assert that's now how a trans woman would want to identify. people will freak the fuck out and tell masculine transfems that they HAVE to be more feminine or else they're a threat to the community and they're not a real transfemme. people will tell pre- and never transition trans girls that they're a problem or that they will never be a part of the community until they go through medical and social transition

people love to push transfeminine people into the most narrow, restrictive boxes possible so they can mentally put us away on a shelf and forget about us. the smaller they make us, the easier it is to forget about us. people will literally lose their minds if someone starts talking about transfemininity for a few posts or minutes at a time, especially when it's non binary transfemininity.

transfemmes who step outside of the binary are a huge "threat" to no one except people who make it a problem in their own minds. a pre or never transition transfem is not invading a space they belong in. trans women cannot invade their own spaces. transfeminine people are allowed to have complicated genders. trans women are allowed to identify as men without it invalidating their identities. trans women are allowed to have vast and complicated gender experiences

trans women do not have to restrict ourselves into the most easy to digest identities possible for the sake of sucking up to queers who hate us. trans women are allowed to be loud, hairy, muscular, tall, big, broad chested, narrow hipped, fat, "ugly", and masculine. trans women are allowed to break the binary and shake up what your idea of femininity and womanhood look like.

genderfuckery does not belong to any AGAB or identity. genderfuckery is not off limits to AMAB, intersex, and transfeminine people. trans women are allowed to play with gender. trans women are allowed to not abandon their manhood if it's still a part of their life. trans women are allowed to exist outside of a binary created by everyone else but us. we are allowed to defy your expectations of what a woman and/or femme "should" be, and it doesn't invalidate or woman/femmehood.

you're allowed to go the fuck off on people who say these things invalidate our woman/femmehood. we don't have to take it anymore. it IS transphobia when this happens. it IS transmisogyny when people tell us these things. we are allowed to fight back. we are allowed to not take this lying down anymore. trans women are allowed to stand up for ourselves, and you are, too.

[your-local-granny]

okay before i forget. i've been trying to put my finger on why people saying phoenix and maya are 'sibling-coded' pisses me off so much and I think a big part of it is how important mia is to both their introduction and also the foundation of their relationship and how calling phoenix and maya 'siblings/sibling-coded' waters down all of their relationships

phoenix wishing that maya was mia is a very big part of maya's arc as well as a big sticking point in phoenix and maya's relationship. phoenix spends the majority of turnabout sisters wishing that 'the chief' was there and when maya fails to channel her he shows outward disappointment. this is something that maya obviously picks up on and internalizes as we see throughout the rest of the games. most notably maya shows remarkably little self-preservation, throwing herself at von Karma's taser and in contempt of court to help edgeworth (and by extent, phoenix). she openly admits to feeling useless when she can't channel mia and phoenix never refutes this out loud until he of course presents the bullet to her showing that she wasn't useless. phoenix is notably bad at expressing his thoughts/ and feelings so its honestly debatable whether this gets through to maya but thats neither here nor there

on the other side of it, maya wishes that phoenix would be the caring adult figure that she was missing for most of her life (and especially after mia dies) and phoenix does not do a great job of being that figure. he likes her sure, and they're good friends, but he's definitely not nurturing or sensitive whenever maya is in distress. at the end of turnabout sisters when mia tells maya to "take care of phoenix" for her, maya starts calling him nick (because that's what mia said phoenix's friend calls him) and their dynamic for the most part is solidified. maya is not able to find mia in phoenix and accepts him as his own person and a part of her life as a friend.

phoenix has a more complicated journey with viewing maya as her own person partially because of the whole spirit-channeling thing, and partially because maya is younger than both the chief and himself. phoenix is constantly looking to a mentor for guidance and feels out of his depth for most of the cases in the trilogy. he frequently wishes that mia could be there, and is shown to value maya's ideas less, or at the least question them more at face-value. nevertheless, by the second game phoenix relies on maya greatly as shown with how he copes (or fails to cope) with her absence in rfta and 2-4, and 3-5. phoenix views her as both an integral part of his life and support structure, but also views her as someone he has to put on a brave face for, much like pearls. maya is phoenix's young friend that he leans on and wishes to protect.

maya's love for her sister is a core theme that spans the entire trilogy and culminates in maya almost dying in 3-5. phoenix's love for mia is a constant driving force that pushes him past what he believed himself capable of, and encourages him to trust those who become those closest to him. phoenix and maya's relationship is colored by their own relationships to mia, and how they view each others relationship with mia. they both represent a part of her that they never knew as well as a part of her they can keep loving in her place after she is gone, but most importantly, neither of them will ever be mia. no one else can be maya's big sister and no one else can be phoenix's mentor. they meet each other as two strangers set adrift by the same lost mooring, and though they'll never be secure in the way they were before meeting each other, they have a friend to help keep themselves afloat.

[majorarc]

okay so I definitely want to add this: but in Catholicism, growing up, girls are basically told that they’re expected to have children in the future. Naturally — no adoption. Even when a couple adopts, they get some shame put on them — especially if the one with the uterus doesn’t want to have a baby naturally. They’re seen as selfish for “denying their spouse the gift of creating life”.

I’m serious.

there’s also an entire fantasy-like painting for those of us with uteruses — that we are DESTINED to become mothers, and how dare we deviate from that path?

Children are just one of the most important prerequisites for marriage, actually. Some churches won’t let you get married if you don’t want to have children — one couple at my old church was told this when they explained to the priest, during their marriage interview, that the bride was barren, and couldn’t carry. Good thing the bride and groom planned to adopt, otherwise they would have been denied getting married at the church!

growing up in the church with a uterus, you grow up believing you will one day have to give birth. And the church downplays the dangers as “rare occurrences”, and repeats over and over something like “women have been doing this for thousands of years”, totally ignoring the number of women who’ve died in childbirth or afterwards, due to complications.

I hate when people say “I’m against abortion except for if the pregnancy threatens the life of the mother” every single pregnancy threatens the life of the pregnant person. We’ve gotten too far removed from that, taken for granted that pregnancy is safe. It is not. Pregnancy and puerperal complications have been a fairly common cause of death throughout history. Even now, maternal mortality is on the rise in the US, the maternal mortality rate varies wildly across the states and it is disproportionately higher for Black women. Being pregnant is getting more dangerous, not less dangerous.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Hi,

There's a stray cat (very friendly, no collar or anything) wandering our street and he's very skinny so we were thinking of trying to put out food for him and hopefully in a couple months take him in (or at least bring him to a vet to be neutered and released if not).

I was wondering if you had any advice / stuff to watch out for from your experience taking care of Diesel?

Not really. Cats that are socialised young enough are generally pretty easy to bribe with food over time, in my experience; if he's friendly, he should fall in love with you pretty quickly. (Cats that are unsocialised young will very occasionally socialise themselves but are almost always a waste of time, but it sounds like he's been socialised so you shouldn't have problems).

Don't touch him before he wants you to unless there's some kind of emergency (in which case, use a cat trap, but if there's no emergency don't bother); that's a great way to make him wary of you and also get bitten by his horrible plague mouth (cat bites are very prone to infection). Cats are generally easy beasts to deal with if you respect their autonomy and their personal space.

If he's outside and starving, he might have various fleas, internal parasites, and other minor but treatable health problems. Cats are particularly prone to a variety of worms, as well as eye infections. Your vet will tell you how to deal with these, and explain to you how to give him a dewormer and bathe him if he needs bathing (most cats don't ever need bathing, but if he's young and filthy he might need one when you take him in.)

Most socialised cats like to sleep inside where it is safe and warm, so if you feed him for a bit then there's a really good chance that you can just open the door one day and let him into your house. This is especially likely if he's lived in a house before. Some socialised cats who have secure lodgings already in some drainpipe or basement or something will avoid this, but in the vast majority of cases a friendly cat will happily just come inside. So you shouldn't have any trouble "catching" him, unless you have other cats or dogs in there that he might want to avoid.

The one thing that I would warn of is that most outdoor cats I've dealt with have had some level of PTSD. When Diesel started hanging out with me I had to watch him carefully to learn what sorts of things would make him panic (sudden movements or approaching him from specific angles, touching him when he is asleep), and what sorts of things triggered his hypervigilance and put him on high alert. The triggers are different for different cats; some hate enclosed spaces or heights (things that most cats love), or won't eat without somebody standing guard, or need to be able to see the door to the room at all times. These quirks are generally not hard to deal with; just don't do stuff to your cat that upsets them (unless you have to, like for medical reasons) and you'll be fine.

If you want information on anything complicated that shows up with him (unlikely; cats are generally very easy beasts to deal with), there's a wealth of great information from cat fosterers and rescuers on youtube.

[celisths]

Choso Kamo who asks his partner everything and anything.

just imagine it….

choso is the most curious person y/n had ever encountered. in his defence, he’s 150 years old so he’s bound to have some questions about the 21st century..

“sweetie, what’s a tiktok?” he had the look is a confused puppy, one not even satan himself could ignore. he found solace in his partner, and knew it would be a safe space from embarrassment so he could ask so many questions!

y/n always found themselves cooing at the mundane, common sense questions their clueless boyfriend asked them; i mean, who wouldn’t?

“it’s a social media app, like instagram. except, this one only has videos.” they always tried to explain in a simple, yet informative way. while dating choso, they found feeding him a lot of information at once would only confuse the poor boy more.

chosos eyes would light up whenever he understood something, “like youtube, right?!” in the cutest way possible. he loved learning new things, especially from his partner who he adored oh so much.

“yes! well done,” and y/n loved it. they loved feeling helpful, and choso made them feel like an all knowing saint. “except tiktok is limited to shorter, quicker videos. they can be informative or just silly.”

but sometimes, y/n couldn’t answer his questions…

“lovie, how does plant reproduction work for plants that live under water- or in caves? if they photosynthesise, how do plants sprout in caves?” he would ask some complicated questions at times, ones y/n couldn’t truly answer themselves. i mean, they did fail biology… ‘why does a sorcerer need science anyway?!’, that’s their excuse.

“uhm… go and ask Nanamin, sweets…” y/n would chuckle awkwardly, letting out a sigh of relief when their boyfriend ran off to find or call nanami.

oh Choso, someone should teach him the phrase ‘curiosity killed the cat’ before he asks something he doesn’t want an answer to…

masterlist

[decaffeinatedcandycane]

T1f1 bad traits (in my opinion. Not based on game lore.)

Starting strong with Captain John "I know what is best for you" Price

It has been talked about it in here a lot. This issue stems from John "knowing" everything and dictating people left and right. His partner is no exception.

Micromanagement king.

You gotta speak some serious boundaries with this man or he will guide you and correct you just as much as he will spoil you.

The captain is very perceptive and passionate. Sometimes this passion can turn into obsession. So be aware, if you lit a certain fire within him, he can accidentally burn you with it.

Simon Ghost Riley is our number two. Reboot version - creature of habit - his "own" habit. He will annoying you with his everyday routine and will take a long, long, long time to change it.

Not because he doesn't want to, but because it is hard for him to switch habits.

This includes "forgetting his partner exists", for like the first two weeks of your relationship.

He is loyal like a dog, but will literally your existence. May even tackle you to the ground, after you move in with him, because he though you are an intruder.

Will take your stuff, without asking, so he can have your scent and get used to you.

Also, very mean humor. If he likes you, he will make fun of you, with appropriate, only for him, jokes. (This is how he tests the waters)

Will move your relationship faster. Absolute cavemen behavior. (Blame it on efficiency)

Soap Mactavish. The Sergent, not the captain. ( for the captain, combine all you read about the sergent, minus the energy and passion. He has that tamed, since, well, he is a captain)

I am sorry, but he is a nuisance. Annoying boyfriend energy and clingy af. Loud, proud and always at your hip. On the plus side - he can do tricks on command.

Like a husky, he will whine and test your patience, and boundaries.

Has A LOT of energy. Basically Sanderson on steroids. Jumps and smacks you out of nowhere.

He does not know his own strength, sometimes you wondering he everything a human being, or how his bunkies are still alive?

He is just like an annoying younger sibling, with the exception that he is your boyfriend.

And but not least,

Gaz

Fire, fire, fire.

You see how he speaks in campaing?

Guess how bitchy in everyday life he is. And he gets easily pissed especially after a long deployment.

You can't win an argument against him, even if you strip naked.

He will still hit it, but.... will keep arguing while doing so.

Yes, you are not safe.

Gaz is sassy and feels things pretty deeply. So I would be careful if I was you. Do not piss that boy off.

Also, if he headbutts with Price, or Price offers his opinion on you (paw paw is also the king of unsolicited advice) and Gaz dislikes it, he will get snappy at you. So I would avoid him, if he is in a mood.

Konig is not in the task force, but idgaf so let's go.

Very straight forward, blunt and egotistical. Kind of like Price, minus the empathy.

Will refuse to help, after he told you something didn't work and you did it anyway.

Will cave in after he remembers you are not a soldier and are someone he loves. (Or when you get mad at him)

He will get to his emotional side, eventually and drop the ego act, but until then - you are stuck with him being an ass.

I wanna say narcissist, but not quite. Idk. (Will leave that undone here, not elaborate and fuck off to the next character)

Andre Nikto

Hehe

Lose screws. A lot of them scattered around on the floor.

He is psychotic, has voices in his head and takes his medication if they all feel like it.

Trusts no one.

Will make a move on you after he makes sure they (him plus the voices) won't accidentally or on purpose hurt, or kill you.

It is complicated.

Very forward. Takes decisions and acts fast. Some say, he is a daredevil, but nobody dares to dare him to say for sure. Hehe

Expect lots of jealousy, insecurity and macho energy for him. Traditional man.

Likes when you talk to him and ask how all of them are, and group discuss (yes, you have group discussions) about whatever you want. Soooo, that's a plus. And, you have more opinions on something, so you see more sides.

Also, some voices side with you all the time, so, yeah, you got it.

He isn't THAT disfigured, but he is disfigured. He has a face, but some parts may be missing.

And he is VERY sensitive about the issues. Proceed with caution.

Gabriel T. Rorke

He is the man and will not stop showing it. Chavilerity (can't spell that), handyman behavior....mansplaining who?

He means well, just doesn't realize how annoying he is being.

At least you house is fixed.

Also, lots of trauma. He has night terrors, which he says he doesn't have (loves being tough) and will use you as his therapist.

Sorry girl, but if you get him talking, he is Sharing...sharing.

Protective and will tell men to back off of you, when needed ( it is not needed, he is just jealous and wants the pricks away from you)

[edisacornball]

I hate to say this, because it's a really soul-crushing answer, but there isn't going to be a clear enemy, especially if people are trying to claim that all of a demographic is the enemy. This is an all or none fallacy. If an organization or person is trying to convince you that all the people of one demographic are your enemy, it's a way of creating alienation, isolation, and dehumanization. This is how soliders justify that it's okay to kill "the enemy" in a war.

The enemy isn't an entire demographic. Think of the other times in your life when you've been convinced that an entire demographic thinks or feels or believes in one way. Were there any times you were forced to confront that that wasn't actually the case? Okay, now also think about a time you met a stranger who immediately formed opinions about you just based on traits about you that you have no control over. How did that feel? Were they right and that's actually who you are? Or was it just easier for them to dismiss you that way?

It's hard. It's really, really, really hard. Part of the whole way our brains work is that we're trained to look for patterns and shortcut work whenever we can. Sometimes that means making quick, easy assumptions. But sometimes, we have to take the time, effort, and work to recognize that sometimes we built our pattern recognition from really faulty sources. Like Hollywood. Or a racist upbringing. Sometimes, we grow up not knowing that the ideas around us can really hurt the people around us, and it's really hard to recognize how deeply that can work into our own psyche.

The hard pill to swallow is that other humans are not your enemy. Stop going for the easy answer. It's easy to hate a gender, a race, a religion and say anyone associated with it is the "enemy." Don't be so naive as to believe that the enemy is a tangible being, a supervillain wrapped in an easy package to defeat. The difference between stories and life isn't "reality," it's complexity. Stories are based in truth, absolutely, but a shrunk down and simplified truth, able to fit an entire lifetime inside, what, less than 500 pages? Life is so much more complicated, and that's what people are trying to mean when they say "stories aren't real."

The "enemy" isn't a race, a religion, a nation, an age, or even a gender. It's so much more intangible and insidious than that. Because it's just... belief. Belief that some are better than others. Belief that anyone is deserving of pain. Belief that some people should be prevented from building happy, stable lives. Belief that exists a concept such as a person not doing "enough" with their life. And the hardest part of accepting that as the enemy... is accepting that you're going to see it in yourself a lot. And it's probably actively hurting you.

TL;DR: The enemy is hate.

garden variety conservative transphobia is going to get worse but radical feminism is also going to get worse. if youre a cis women terfs are going to try to recruit you and make you believe that the reason your rights are at stake is because of trans people. they're going to tell you that all men are your violent oppressors and they're going to include trans women in that category. they're gonna tell you about women who are gender traitors and joined the enemy and they're going to point to trans men. don't believe them. trans people are not your enemy, we have no power over you, and we desperately need your support and your solidarity.

be aware of radfem pipelines and dog whistles too. be skeptical of anyone that talks about the divine feminine or correlates birthing, menstruating, or female reproductive organs with womanhood. be especially skeptical of people who use those biological things as reasons to why women are more spiritual, or more in tune with nature, or just that they're better than men (read: anyone they decide is a man)

radical feminism is an expected reactionary outcome from cis women who are being oppressed by conservatives, especially when all they practice is ciscentric, liberal, white feminism. they feel the need to be radicalized but don't have the experience and information to pinpoint the true source of their suffering. trans people are not your enemy, AMAB people are not your enemy, anyone who identifies as a man is not your enemy. we're all being crushed under the same stone

[cash-legacy]

SOGUE MAGAZINE, WINTER 2024

The Blood of the Innocent: Judith Ward's Dirty Little Secret

(For the Occultify a Sim challenge in the Occult Simblr Discord)

Nobody will forget the feeling of seeing their childhood favorite movie star twenty years later. The nostalgia of seeing their face, the weird awareness of your own mortality as you take in the new wrinkles and lines. Did she have those kids when she filmed that movie? Were they really that young? I'm older than he was when he filmed that one show... But one Del Sol face has yet to bear the scars of time - the ever-iconic Judith Ward. In our interview, Ward told me exactly how she's stayed just so young and lovely: consensual Vampirism.

Want more? Read the rest of the article below the cut!

This announcement comes at a complicated time for Simerica, as anti-Occult sentiments have spread across the nation like wildfire, and public opinion has shifted away from their support. Vampires especially, known for their "inborn" violent tendencies towards ordinary Sims, face a great deal of discrimination in many regions. Some Sims view this as a safety measure, a means of keeping natural killers away from their families. Recent legislation has attempted to make this a national issue, as opposed to a region-specific one, as proposed by senators Victor Feng and Anne Thorne, of San Myshuno and Copperdale respectively. Others sympathize with the Occult cause. Feng and Thorne's bill failed to get the required majority, but it was close. Many Sims on both sides of the political spectrum felt that the vote should have swung one way or another, and celebrities across Simerica have taken to speaking their piece. Judith Ward's, however, may be the most personal - and impactful - of them all. We conducted our interview at Ward's Del Sol house:

WHY NOW? "Now is precisely the right time to speak up about these things. Sims across the nation are wondering what to believe, and who to trust. And they know they can trust me. If being open about what I am convinces even a single Sim to join the cause and protect my people, it will have been worth all the backlash I expect to face." YOU CALLED IT CONSENSUAL VAMPIRISM. EXPLAIN THAT? "It's true that untrained or under-educated Vampires can cause massive harm to populations, especially in small towns. But the solution to that problem isn't punishing them, or stripping them of their resources. We've seen what happens when you do that. It's why we've had this moment of tension in the first place. But when provided the resources needed to survive harmlessly, Vampires are no more dangerous than any other Sim." BUT... "CONSENSUAL?" "I keep a few Sims in my employ. Times are tough, and I pay handsomely. It's in cooperation with a private medical practice, they're thoroughly informed beforehand, and it's all quite sterile and ethical, don't you worry." TELL ME ABOUT YOUR EXPERIENCE WITH VAMPIRISM. "I admit, when I first signed up for it, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. It was frightening. The transformation can be quite painful, particularly in the first few days. I've had some issues with work, too. I have to film daylight scenes in short bursts, or on soundstages. I've lost more than a few roles because of it. But I've got it easy, all things considered. My heart really goes out to all those who don't have such flexibility in their careers."

It's hard to say for certain where Occult politics will lead. Polling is wildly polarized across and within regions, and extremism on both sides is rampant. More and more prominent social figures are taking stances, and Judith Ward certainly won't be the last. Only time will tell which way the political compass will turn. See you next time, LINCOLN BROADSHEET

CelebCrave: Sogue Journalist Fired After Political Tantrum!

"They wildly misrepresented me," complained former Sogue interviewer Lincoln Broadsheet, in a recent Social Bunny post. "I didn't approve the cover or the title... It's incredibly hurtful to see such a prominent magazine ignore my intentions as a writer like this... And they fired me over it. Writers like me get fired for trying to provide the truth, instead of writing for clicks." Read the full Social Bunny thread here: Lincoln Broadsheet @ LBWrites replying to @[...] They wildly misrepresented me and Judith. It was a huge lapse in judgment from Sogue, and their decision to fire me when I protested was irresponsible. 1/8 Lincoln Broadsheet @ LBWrites I didn't approve the cover or the title. My articles are always unbiased, especially when they're about such decisive subjects. It's incredibly hurtful to see such a prominent magazine ignore my intentions as a writer like this. 2/8 Lincoln Broadsheet @ LBWrites I couldn't sit by without speaking out, and they fired me over it. It hurts to see how many Sims don't care about misinformation and biased reporting. These issues are rampant, and writers like me get fired for trying to provide the truth, instead of writing for clicks. 3/8 [...]

[mayakern]

I'm not able to message you privately so I'll just pitch this here uhhh. Basically. I was wondering if you would be interested in giving away misprints/wearable damaged/returned items to trans nonprofits in red states in america? This isn't me being a bot also, I'm fr trying to organize and ask a bunch of companies who seem like they'd support trans folks about this. I've been connecting companies to various nonprofit contact infos as of late, especially through the winter months, when homeless trans folks tend to run low on available clothes. You can answer this publicly if anyone else would be interested in contacting me, or dm me privately if you'd like.

Thank you sm for your time!

unfortunately right now it's just not something we can really do logistically, since we no longer do our fulfillment in house and doing this sort of thing with the third party fulfillment center is weirdly complicated.

any clothing items from our factory/store that devin and i personally receive but do not keep get donated either to a local shelter or to cafe euphoria, which is a local trans owned and operated restaurant that does a lot of good for the community, which in upstate NY unfortunately more conservative than downstate. we like to do this because it not only helps other people, but it also allows us to minimize waste without increasing our carbon foot print.

that being said, i know some other clothing makers follow me, including a few that are in texas because that is where i was born and raised, so i will tag some of them in case they are interested or able to do such a thing! @freshhotflavors @shopwitchvamp @morningwitchy @vetiverfox @crowlines

[jesncin]

hi, I just read your ask about the "true kal-el/clark kent" and your answer about now it's reductive to try and pin him into one box or another when in truth he'd surely have a nuanced and potentially complex relationship to these two facets of his identity. really interesting and well-said stuff!

further to that, how do you see the constructed persona of Superman: Man of Tomorrow fitting in with this question of identity?

I know that in some stories the costume is/is inspired by kryptonian garb and in others it's not really, and that in some stories he uses the superman persona as a public outlet to live as a man from krypton while in others he tries to hide that side of himself from the public (although usually not for long, like in sstk) and I'd be really interested to see your take on how the superhero dual identity can relate to the immigrant dual identity

Thank you!! I'm glad people enjoy my musings about Immigrant Superman, haha. And this is another fun question! There's a ton of versions with how Clark comes to terms with the persona of Superman all with varying levels of a different diaspora Superman reading- personally I am really fond of the SSTK version.

Some versions have it so Clark is bestowed the Kryptonian clothes and House of El symbol, but in SSTK Clark gets the idea to present Superman as The World's Strongest Strongman, inspired by circus performers' colorful costumes in a deliberate move to look less intimidating.

Then we have Ma Kent sewing Clark's Superman costume, translating the "othering alien symbol" into a "S in a funny diamond shape", letting people interpret the symbol to mean the "S" in Superman. What I love about this version is we get to see Clark very relatable-y fear alienation and xenophobia by attempting to present himself as the most palatable, model-minority American Man ever. He doesn't debut as Kal-El the alien, he debuts as Superman! The Strongest Super MAN on Earth.

If this kind of Immigrant Superman characterization were to continue, I see Clark's relationship to the Superman persona as his outlet to be the approximation of so many identities that he can't quite have all the way. In the beginning of SSTK, Superman was his attempt to be the human approximation of an alien. Afterwards, once he's formally come out as an alien immigrant and can more comfortably showcase and explore his alien powers, the Superman persona becomes his means of connecting to Kryptonian culture. He's not going to emulate being a Born and Raised Kryptonian perfectly, since he's adopted and came to his alien roots later in his life- but his "S" was also a humanized translation of an alien symbol. His costume is now how the only representation (before Supergirl) of an extinct culture. Would he be able to communicate in Kryptonese perfectly? I'd like to think he struggles with it, as many migrants do with learning languages later in life- especially on their own.

Couple all this with the fact "Superman" is the public persona while "Clark Kent and "Kal-El" are his secret identities, makes his journey of connecting to his roots all the more complicated. Because he's doing all that reclamation of an extinct culture while the world watches.

That's how I see it anyway! I feel Superman characterizations that aim to make him "more scifi starting out" and embrace the alien side of him ("make the suit more scifi and less circus strongman!") to be lackluster because they're not taking advantage of Clark being a step removed from Krypton. How Clark presents Superman, from his mannerisms, to the outfit, the anxieties around his alien identity, and which powers he chooses to showcase is an opportunity to tell a compelling story.

[famoussharkhairdoknight]

Between Hate and Desire- Pope Heyward

You sit on the shore, your bare feet in the cold water, the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks. The sunset paints the sky in orange and pink, but your mind is elsewhere. You're trying to ignore the growing tension between you and the Pogues, especially Pope. Even though you're a Kook and things have always been complicated between you, you can't get him out of your head. The hate he seems to feel, mixed with an undeniable attraction, confuses you.

"Why are you here?" Pope's voice makes you jump, and you turn around quickly. He’s appeared out of nowhere, as always. His expression is serious, but there's something in his eyes that makes you doubt.

"Can’t I just come watch the sunset without you asking me a question?" you reply with a mischievous smile, trying to hide your nervousness.

Pope raises an eyebrow, his gaze betraying a hint of irritation, but there’s also something else, a spark of curiosity. "We’re not exactly friends, you know?"

"We’re something more complicated than that, Pope," you reply with a challenging tone, and he notices immediately. His gaze becomes more intense, but he doesn’t look away.

"Your friends..." Pope starts but stops. A bitter smile touches his lips. "What do you really want from them? You’re not one of us, and you know it."

"It’s not that I care so much about being one of 'you,'" you reply calmly, but your heart is pounding. "But you, Pope... you’ve always been like this... unyielding. Like you can’t see beyond that."

Pope takes a step closer to you, his eyes locked on yours. "And you’ve always been like this, haven’t you? Convincing everyone you’re superior, but deep down you’re just a Kook. A Kook trying to ruin the lives of those who don’t think like you."

His voice is sharp, but the way he looks at you makes you realize those words aren’t filled with hate, but something more complex. Maybe it’s just fear. Fear of what might happen if he let go.

"Why do you care so much?" you ask, feeling your breath quicken. Your heart races as you realize the distance between you two has narrowed to just a few steps.

Pope stops, staring at you for a moment as if he’s trying to decode a puzzle. "I shouldn’t, but I do. I can’t ignore you, even when I want to."

You move closer, so close that you can feel the beat of his heart. "And yet you trust me, even though you have every reason to hate me."

A smile forms on his lips, but it’s not like the ones others know. "I don’t hate you, Y/N. I... understand you."

The tension is palpable between you two, and as his eyes drift to your lips, all you want is for him to give in. But he’s always been so stubborn, so sure of wanting to keep control.

"You’re an enigma, Pope," you murmur as you reach out to touch his face. "A Kook who has the power to make you falter."

Pope’s breath becomes more uneven, but he doesn’t say anything. He moves closer, so close you can feel his warmth. Then, with a quick motion, he stops. "I’m not like the others, Y/N. I can’t... I can’t be like them."

His voice is a whisper, but you know nothing is clearer. The struggle between what he should be and what he feels is evident, but you have no intention of letting him escape.

The distance between you and Pope seems to have disappeared. The air around you is so thick it almost pulses. You look into his eyes, and for a moment, everything seems to stop. The sound of the waves crashing on the shore fades away, and the whole world vanishes. Then, without warning, Pope takes a step forward, and his warm breath brushes against your face.

"I can’t keep denying it," he whispers, his eyes dropping to your lips. "I can’t ignore you anymore."

His words are like an invitation. Your heart beats loudly in your chest as you take another step toward him. His hands gently cup your face, and without thinking, his lips find yours.

The kiss is sweet at first, as if you both are trying to figure out if this is really what you want. Then, like a fire igniting, the passion grows, and his hands move to your waist, pulling you toward him. You feel lost in the moment, completely overwhelmed by the warmth and strength of his embrace.

There are no obstacles between you now, just the urgency of a kiss that tastes like freedom and desire. His lips move against yours with a fervor you hadn’t imagined, and you respond with the same intensity, as if every part of you is finally free to give in.

When you separate, both of you breathe heavily, as if not quite believing it. "I don’t know what’s happening, but..." Pope says, his voice betraying a vulnerability you didn’t expect.

"Don’t worry," you reply, trying to stop the tremble in your voice. "I don’t know either. But I don’t care."

[bengiyo]

Love in the Big City Eps 5 & 6: That Apartment Was Too Small

I’m late this week to write this post. Despite everything going on in the world and in my life, I have struggled with how similar episodes 5 and 6 played like Part 3 of the book. When I read over my reaction post for Part 3, I felt like I could post it with a few edits as a reaction to these two episodes. I’ve also read so many great posts about this section, so I’ll throw some quick thoughts down on some of the things that stood out in this section.

The T-aras Continue to Be a Great Change

Presenting the drama in a more linear format required baton passes between the sections that the book didn’t require, and I really loved having the T-aras as pallbearers who also took care of Yeong when he wanted to go out the night of his mom’s funeral. I love how they also feel like they’ve matured as they’ve gotten older.

Making us love the T-aras so much makes their flippancy about being around someone they know, or suspect, is positive hit like a ton of bricks in the flashback. What’s so sad about this is it puts this wall up inside of Yeong that keeps him from ever telling them about his situation with Kylie. We know the T-aras love him dearly, and I think they would have adapted quickly to take care of their friend. I couldn’t help but think about the hospital scene from Part 2 and wonder how uncertainties Yeong felt about them complicated that moment for him.

I also love that they’re the ones who got to meet and approve of Gyu-ho, and that they suggested Yeong take him on a trip to help rekindle the romance. Yeong not being completely alone has been one of my favorite changes, because few of us are ever as alone as we think we are.

Gyu-ho Feels so Alive

We see so much of Gyu-ho from Young’s perspective in the book, and I loved seeing him come alive and share space with Yeong in the drama. I loved seeing the mundanity of their relationship. I loved seeing Yeong consolidate and clean up the room to make it livable for Gyu-ho just as much as I loved seeing them struggle with their living habits. I loved seeing them fight over little things, and then seeing Gyu-ho adapt to that and cover annoyances (especially with the water bottles).

Unfortunately, Kylie ruins so much of Yeong’s ability to commit to this relationship, and I think it’s why staying in Mi Ae’s apartment might be one of my favorite choices of the drama. When we read Part 3, I kept thinking about how small Young’s apartment was, and how it didn’t seem right for the two of them to stay there. Here in the drama, we see that Yeong’s mom made sure to take care of her affairs, and I wondered at how much Yeong had stashed away from that, but also figured he wouldn’t want to stay in the home his mom had.

I think, for Yeong, Gyu-ho is just so radiant and beautiful a person that Yeong is worried he’ll infect with HIV and make “dirty.” He brings that word up a lot, and it made me so, so sad. Kylie is everywhere in their relationship. It’s in Yeong’s need to fake a blood test to get a decent job he hates. It’s in his inability to pursue work opportunities in other countries. It’s in their inability to have unprotected sex without worries. All of this culminates to make Yeong feel like he’s ruined Gyu-ho’s future for just being with him.

Conversely, it’s so frustrating to watch Gyu-ho from this perspective doing everything he can to make Yeong feel loved and valued. I felt so much for Gyu-ho when he got a solid job as a nurse and wanted them to get a bigger place together. I also felt for Gyu-ho searching for potential new partners on the apps. It sucked in the book and it sucks here when Yeong tries to shove Gyu-ho to go have sex with someone else when that’s not what Gyu-ho wants at all; he’s a romantic.

As such, they could not make this relationship work. Gyu-ho is probably the one person in the series we’ve seen Yeong trust to the most. The T-aras prickled his shame. Mi Ae outed him. Yeong Su turned out to be gross. Nam Gyu died.  I believe Yeong when he said he was writing as hard as he could to build a future where he was independently wealthy enough to take care of himself and Gyu-ho, and it was so sad to see him completely lose the love he found in the present for that.

Onto the Finale

That’s all I’ve got this week. I find myself looking forward to this section because I’m so excited to see what Habibi turns into with this version. I’ve meditated on the fallout of the Gyu-ho breakup, and I’m excited to see what the drama does with that.  

[cliophilyra]

Ok listen up. Everyone needs to read this. It’s one of my all time faves. It’s just wonderful & I love it so much, I cannot recommend it enough and it is guaranteed to help you in these trying times. Especially if like me you just want to read something where Tommy gets a happy ending.

By the so lovely and uber talented RiNew1717 aka @rdng1230

Summary:

When Tommy and Sal run into each other outside of work, romantic feelings bloom and complications ensue. Luckily their Nonnas are the meddlesome type.

Excerpt:

Most of the people dancing are old couples swaying predictably back and forth. It was a slow song. The kind of that plays as the credits roll on some Technicolor chick flick. ‘There's no telling where love may appear. Something in my heart keeps saying my someplace is here.’

Sal can see Nonna stopped by yet another person on her way to the bar. He chuckles into the back of his hand and returns his eyes to the people watching. They’re drawn to a man in a navy blue suit, his back facing Sal. He feels a swoop in his stomach at the way the man’s shoulder blades move, the confidence in his hips, how relaxed he looks even among the crowd. The old woman he’s with is beautiful too, with intelligent eyes and an earnest smile.

The man skillfully picks her up and spins 180 degrees, Both of them giggling. Sal feels the urge to laugh with them, until he sees the man in front of him isn’t a stranger at all.

It’s Tommy.

[cuephrase]

parts of this post really capture some of the best, most essential parts of tim. however, elements of it run so counter to aspects of his character i find to be equally crucial to understanding tim as a character.

'tim doesn't want to be robin' is a much bigger deal for sure. but 'tim finds out who batman is' isn't even secondary to that, it's secondary to 'tim figured out who robin was' which is actually massively significant because these two things go hand in hand. 

tim is a fan of Robin, especially Dick's Robin, far before he's a fan of Batman. tim doesn't set out with the goal of becoming Robin, not because he thinks being Robin is a bad thing, but because he holds that role in such high esteem he doesn't consider himself worthy of it. tim loves Robin. once he becomes Robin, he loves being Robin.

yes, it causes complications in his civilian life. yes, he never intended to be Robin forever. but from his perspective? being Robin wasn't a curse. it was an honor.

tim didn’t give up everything to be Robin, he traded away his chance at a “normal” life. these aren’t interchangeable. and this is a trade that tim makes more than once, and it’s always a trade he makes with the greater good in mind, not his own best interests. which is ofc precisely where you hit the nail on the head- tim does become Robin for the greater good.

tim’s selflessness is incredibly active however. he’s not an unwilling spectator. he chose to track Batman and Robin’s activity, he chose to get involved when he felt Batman needed help. tim has so much agency, which he’s robbed of when his arrival is framed as him slipping and falling into the vigilante life.

to which, even saying ‘tim didn’t want to be Robin’ isn’t entirely accurate. it’s more like, ‘tim didn’t need to be Robin’. his goal was to get Batman a Robin, and it didn’t need to be tim. only once it became apparent that tim was the only option did tim relent.

this is the journey we see tim undergo throughout his character arc: initially, being a vigilante is something tim wants to be able to live without because he’s afraid of becoming like Batman. but, as Robin increasingly becomes something tim needs in his life, he redefines the mantle so he can be the person he wants to be instead of who he thinks he’s supposed to be.

the misinterpretation of a lonely place of dying by later retellings drives me nuts because ‘tim finds out who batman is’ is nearly not as much of a big deal as ‘tim doesnt want to be robin’ in the actual origin and it pretty much sums up whats wrong with modern tim drake. ALPOD is a tragic story of a twelve year old boy who had everything and willingly gave it up for a greater good. he is not like dick and jason who became robin to escape tragedy nor bruce who had everything and then lost it. robin was nothing but a curse he accepted to bear and he did so because of his selflessness. that selflessness is his driving rod, his smarts and physical talent are only the tools he uses to achieve his goals. he is not ‘the smart one’, he is a sacrificial lamb for a cause he became an unwilling spectator of. a twelve year old boy thought ��people need saving, its that simple’ and put on the clothes a dying kid not much older than him wore because of nothing more than his selflessness and everyone he loved paid the price for it. he paid an even greater price for it.

[mixelation]

Literally all i know about wicked is the poster bc i think its nice. Can i ask you what its a fic of? Or just about?

uuuuh so wicked is actually weirdly complicated in terms of being a fic/adpatation/whatever. it's a fanfic of the wizard of oz but it gets weird:

the wonderful wizard of oz is a children's book published in 1900. it went on to have 13 sequels by the original author, and then literally tens more sequels by other authors. most of the books are about someone going on a journey and assembling a party of strange magical people and creatures and running into various strange places and occasionally dodging things trying to kill them. this means that there is a LOT of lore and zany characters to draw from.

the book is of course not nearly as famous as the 1939 movie, which is what most people think of when they think of the wizard of oz. the movie adaptation has the same basic plot outline as the first book, but streamlined and-- most importantly for understanding wicked-- it changed a lot of aesthetic details. the reason for this is that color movies were new, and they wanted to show off, so everything is ultra bright and colorful. in the book, the dorothy's magic shoes are silver. they changed them to ruby red because it pops more. also in the book, everything in the emerald city is white, but everyone entering the city must wear glasses to make everything appear green (for emeralds, you see). the movie producers were evidently like "what the fuck?" and instead made the emerald city extra color and bright and loud. oh, and the movie made the wicked witch green. in the book, she was not green and instead had one magic eye.

wicked is a 1995 novel which is of a specific genre which basically asks: what if the villain of the story secretly had a sympathetic backstory this whole time? what if the good guys weren't that good and the wicked witch was actually kind of the better person?! i did really like these as a kid, but they kind of appeal to me less now outside of nostalgia because as takes they're usually.... kind of immature? or else come off like they dislike the source material. anyway, wicked is about the origin story of the wicked witch of the west (now named elphaba), who is born green and discriminated against for it. i read the book back in high school and therefore don't remember a ton of details about the plot, but the world building involved feels like a bizarre fever dream and sort of lazy in its lack of canonical detail if you're an oz fan. i remember finding it especially bizarre because there's details drawn from the books, but the main premise is entirely in movie land, and a lot of major book details are basically just discarded/never acknowledged. this is what makes it, imho, a bad fanfic. i won't comment on the writing because it's been too long, but in terms of being a fanfic..... yeah, it's weird & kind of bad?

however, i don't think most wicked fans have read the book. most people talking about wicked mean the 2003 musical (which will have a movie adaptation this month and why i'm thinking about it). like the movie, the musical is more streamlined than the book it's based on, and fun songs are added!!! i've seen it twice and literally don't remember the plot. i do think the actually spectacle of it is cool, but i don't like most of the songs, and again, it feels like it hates the source material. some of the weirder things, off the top of my head:

i cannot begin to stress how being green is one of the more normal physical differences to have in oz. like i get that the "hated because she's GREEN" thing is just a vehicle for the metaphor, but what is the point of intentionally picking this setting if you're just going to discard it?

there's a subplot about the talking animals wanting rights. this could actually be super interesting to explore, because the status of animals in the land of Oz is never made super clear? it's stated that they can all talk, and yet we see farmers and people eat animal products. there are animal characters who are treated equal to humans, and animal characters that are very explicitly pets. yet wicked does not engage with this in any interesting way (at least in the musical -- in the book i just remember an animal sex club?!); it's just a very generic "we want rights!!!" thing happening without the actual method and system of discrimination being made clear

glinda's function in the books is to be a wise adult figure. she rides around in a flying chariot pulled by swans and hires only beautiful women to work for her and gives them swords. in wicked, she's a shallow prep character. i get it's supposed to be an ~origin story~ or whatever but my feeling was that there's no foundation for her future character being laid. unless you're only going with "pink, appears in a bubble" as your basis for character

the book and the musical are both set against highly political backdrops, but most of the politics are made up wholecloth because canonical oz is.... chaos. the land of oz is more like a bunch fo loosely tied city-states, many of which are so isolated they probably don't know they have a ruler. again, "the politics of oz" is something i think would be interesting to explore in a fanfic, but wicked seems to just want to have some politics around and slapped a vaguely oz aesthetic on it, making it feel shallow and preventing any sort of conversation with the source material

like i'm not saying that all fanfic NEEDS to be in conversation with the source material; i'm just saying, why write a fanfic if you literally only want the aesthetics of the movie? to help sell copies? sure. and i don't even think that automatically makes a piece of work bad (no hate, wicked fans), it's just makes it frustrating and unpleasant to consume if you're a fan of the source material