#especially these flavours by this specific brand

[unityrain24]

you don't understand how much i love these

[strawberrynightmare]

Making hot chocolate for Mikey, Chifuyu, Mitsuya, Koko & Sanzu

Content warning: Let me know if there's anything, just fluff

Mikey

It was routine at this point. Mikey rarely misses an opportunity to come to your place. Then the two of you would rot on the bed/couch and eat mostly unhealthy snacks while talking about nothing. And you would call it “quality bonding time”.

You can’t even tell for 100% sure whether it was a good thing to introduce your special hot chocolate to him or not. He loved it, but demanded it quite often. You even tried to teach him the recipe but he always managed to mess something up.

At this point, you just accepted your fate, but you made him go shopping for you in return. Even if you were somewhat aware that it was most likely someone else who did his job. 

He especially likes to drink it during evenings. His mood instantly improves thanks to it, it makes him sleepy and clingy as his brain turns into mush almost entirely. That being said, of course it’s one of the best ways to get him to calm down, even though it requires specific conditions to be met.

It’s a double-edged sword, though.

Imagine that during one of those peaceful times, his phone rings. And keeps ringing, and keeps ringing. And he’s pulled from his hazy, half-conscious state with immediate dark clouds surrounding his head. 

He picks it up only to hear about a sudden fight with a rival gang which suddenly occurred.

Those poor delinquents better pray because Mikey is fucking pissed.

Several gang members will have to pull him away from the enemy leader because he’s making sure they won’t be able to leave the hospital for at least a good month.

He comes back to you one to a few hours later, all covered in blood and with skin torn on his knuckles. He takes a shower and changes into pyjamas before laying back on the couch and demanding another hot chocolate as if nothing happened in the first place.

Chifuyu

Your boyfriend hugs you from behind with his chin resting on your shoulder. His curious eyes remind you of those of a cat. His mouth soundlessly forms an “o” shape and he nods his head in understanding when you put some pieces of chocolate bar into the mug. 

You can’t resist the urge to put one into his spread lips and he doesn’t complain either. 

“So this is how you make it taste so good.”

“Yup, the chocolate melts and makes the flavour richer, although it also increases the amount of calories. I guess one is connected to the other.”

“I burn a lot of them either way so no worries.” He licked his lips off the remnants of the chocolate. “It smells like heaven.”

“I know right? This is why I choose this particular brand.”

He barely waited a moment for it to cool off before having a taste. Good thing you predicted it first and took countermeasures.

You made yourself comfortable on his bed, reaching for the newest volume of a manga the two of you were reading together.

“Don’t you dare start without me, y/n. It was so hard to avoid all of the spoilers online, it felt like walking on landmines!”

Purely out of spite, you lay on your belly and open the book which earns you screams of protests from your boyfriend. He wastes no time getting on top of you and trying to snatch it from your hands so you hold it just out of his reach. You then roll on your back and he falls softly on the bed right next to you before you both burst out in laughter and reach for your mugs.

You then sat cross-legged on his bed with the manga in your hands. He hugged you from behind and put his chin on your shoulder. Both of you began to read, sometimes laughing together, sometimes commenting or clearing out any doubts and recalling past volumes. All of this while drinking the delicious hot chocolate. Such moments with Chifuyu truly are precious <3

Mitsuya

Since your boyfriend always insists on cooking meals for you, it’s only right for you to make the dessert. Seriously, you don’t even know why you let him do it for you. Each time you try to bring it up and try to convey that he doesn’t have to do that, you get knocked out with stuff like “I like to cook for you though”, “it’s much healthier and more affordable” and the one which always leaves you in a lost position: “You don’t like my cooking?”

Half-dead, you fall to the floor while coughing metaphorical blood as he hums a gentle melody and proceeds to head towards the kitchen to make some food. It was truly a battle lost the moment it began. So you gave up.

Making him hot chocolate was the least you could do for him. He didn’t even protest and let you have your fun the first time you decided to. 

That night, his little sisters were in their beds already. You were watching a somewhat boring movie together and you soon fell asleep on his lap. He glanced at you warmly and shook his head at the chocolate stains left on your mouth. He licked a tissue and began to rub your face like mothers do to their kids except gentler. Thankfully you didn’t wake up.

…Which reminded him that he had yet to drink his own. Sorry, love - he thought before raising the mug to his lips without expecting much. His eyes returned to the screen and then widened in shock upon the taste. Later that week, he tried making it himself, but it didn’t taste half as good as yours. That’s when he decided to get the recipe from you.

***

“Are you sure you want to stand here?”

“Yes love,” he replied seriously with his hands resting on the kitchen counter and his eyes following your movements like those of a hawk.

“Wouldn’t you rather sit over there? I’ll be done in-”

“No need, love,” he gently put his hands on your waist and placed a kiss on your arm.

You raised a brow, but shrugged before pouring some hot water over a mix made of chocolate and powdered cocoa. You then stirred well and took condensed milk out of the fridge. Poured some into the drink. Put it back. Then stirred again before adding the marshmallows.

Mitsuya was taking mental notes the whole time. 

“Wouldn’t you rather use boiled milk for it?” He finally asked.

“That’s too much of a hassle. Besides, there’s only some needed for it to taste good. Plus, milk or coffee cream from the fridge cools down the temperature. Thanks to that, it’s ready to drink almost immediately.”

You gave him his own mug and both of you headed towards your seats and settled into comfortable silence. He couldn’t wait to make it for his little sisters!

(Spoiler: they loved it)

Sanzu

“It feels like drinking liquid sugar,” he noticed and then proceeded to only eat the pink marshmallows.

You barely resisted the urge to kick him. The two of you were resting in his bed. He was sitting and you were laying on the opposite side which resulted in him being right next to your feet. 

“I’ll drink it for you then,” you stretched your hand in his direction, but then he moved away to get the cup out of your reach. 

You were perplexed, to say at least.

“I thought you didn't like it?”

“I never said that?”

You kicked his side which - aside from an irritated expression - did not affect him at all. So you tried again. This time, he grabbed and pulled your ankle towards his face and kissed it while looking you straight in the eyes and smiling. 

“Freak.”

He grimaced. “Your feet stink.”

You sighed and sat up. If Sanzu had dog ears, they would perk up in surprise at that.

“Oh my, it seems that me and my stinky feet will have to leave then.” 

You barely managed to stand up and take a step towards the door before he hugged you by the hips and glued himself to you, making you unable to move without losing your balance.

“I was kidding! I love you and your stinky feet,” he nuzzled his face into your side. 

You tried to make another step forward but the weight he put on you made you lose your balance and fall onto his (luckily) carpeted floor. Concern flashed in his eyes before you smacked his head. And then you groaned when he almost laid on top of you, preventing you from leaving. 

“Am I dating a guy or a puppy?” You complained as he nuzzled his face into your neck. 

“If you’re into this, I wouldn’t mind wearing a collar with a leash.”

“Shut up or I might consider adding a muzzle.” You felt him grin into your skin. 

“Woof woof!”

Koko

If he was being honest, he’d much prefer you sitting next to him, maybe even cuddling. He tried to convince you that you can order take out, or he can take you to a cafe or a restaurant if you want to eat something nice. Damn, he even asked you to come back to him while the water was boiling but apparently it was more “complex” than just pouring hot water over powdered cocoa and stirring. 

He sighed, letting his head drop backwards in defeat. He’d much rather drink cold water and spend more time with you. Although, it wasn’t an unpleasant feeling to have someone put effort for him just because. In fact, it caused a fuzzy feeling in his stomach.

Just as he was about to call for you, you appeared with two mugs of hot chocolate in your hands. He raised one brow at the white and pink, tiny marshmallows richly decorating the top. 

“You might want to drink it before eating the marshmallows. If you eat them first, it will look less tempting.” You sat next to him on the sofa and he wasted no time putting an arm around your shoulders and pulling you closer.

“I see you have this all thought through,” he noticed, while placing a thank you kiss on your temple before taking his own mug into his hands. He noticed you staring at him intensely.

“Please don’t,” he groaned. 

Your gaze didn’t falter. Your breathing became quicker.

“Y/n…” He pleaded. 

Your lip began to tremble. 

“You’re better than that.”

…

“Choco for Koko.”

“For fuck’s sake-” You barely managed to dodge the pillow aimed at your head.

Your boyfriend shot you one last disappointed look before he took a sip.

And then another. And another.  Before he knew it, it was all gone and he was fishing out the half melted marshmallows from the bottom. 

It was a damn good hot chocolate.

He even contemplated asking for seconds, but it dawned on him that you would have to leave again to do that.

“Did you like it?” You asked while making yourself comfortable in his tight embrace.

“I sure did. Mind selling me the recipe? Just name the price.”

You couldn’t decide whether he was being serious or not so you said the first thing which came to your mind.

“I might want to exchange it. For an… engagement ring.”

Koko turned his face away, almost embarrassed with how wide he grinned. His eyes sparkled uncharacteristically.

[zz0nie]

Genshin Hcs

Neuvillette & Wriothesley

note; this is my first time writing (after like 2 years, so much improvement I'd like to hope :0) just thought I would start it easy with Neuvi and Wrio, much loved Fontaine boys &lt;3 (Suggestions are always welcome!!)

Neuvillette

Neuvillette would never EVER bring it up to you; however, he is a man who loves his hair being played with or brushed to pass time. If you bring it up he will give you a surprised look, maybe bringing out a response from you, "Don't give me that face, Neuvi." As you're holding a hairbrush in one hand. He will silently work his way to you, in fact he is extremely attentive to how you are carefully brushing around his horns to make sure you don't hurt him. So soft in general, he loves you.

Neuvillette's favourite drink is water - as we know with his idle lines, suggesting each water from each nation is different - if you suggest to him to try some tea, he would say he does not enjoy it. However, give it a large ratio between more water less tea? You may catch him having the occasional "tea" (An extremely diluted tea, keep in mind. Maybe enough to consider it flavoured water.)

Figuring he has helped the Melusines find a safe second home inside Fontaine, he has become a parental figure to them, and as he has given them jobs often if you walk into his office while it is a relatively calm time you may happen to see a small melusine tucked up on his sofa with a large blanket suited for a human wrapping their body up. He will take it with care and duty to take care of that melusine. If he is busy he will have them escorted to their home safely though. He is a worried father, leave him be.

He is extremely quick to pick up on items or things you like or dislike. Very minimal change in your body language can tell him everything, as he does in fact notice the way you stare longingly at an accessory of clothing that would go perfectly with your outfit. If you enjoyed flowers he will go out of his way to pick you or buy you your favourite flower(s) and make sure you receive them. (Most of the time he's extremely busy and gets a melusine to go to your door, he's trying his best. :(

Neuvillette has little time to enjoy things, however, while figuring court cases inside his office, you may walk past slowly and hear the hum of his record player playing some classical music. Maybe one day you'll walk in and ask him to take your hand, you'll sway together in his office, just the two of you as you sweep him away from work and to you.

At the start of your journey together, sitting in silence was not something that was sought out from either of you as it felt awkward between you. Neuvillette isn't the best at small talk, so if you aren't either it may take a while to get this going. However, when you grow closer there will be a time where he will come to seek you out, just to sit and do his own thing while you do yours, simply enjoying your presence.

He loves like old people do, the small things mean a lot to this man. Remembering small things and going out on a walk somewhere - heck, when you help him with washing his hair when he has had a long, tiring day - between you in that moment, there is no lust or hatred, just pure love for each other. Neuvillette bathes in your sweet affection during these moments, he loves you so much, even if he cannot find the words to say it.

Wriothesley

Like Neuvillette, loves a specific brand and way of tea being made, if he teaches you how and you pick up and make it for him like that u are probably one of his most favourite people. Definitely prefers his tea on the stronger side, this man needs his energy somehow.

Children love him, even if he is this big scary dude that controls the prisons in Fontaine they see him as an extra father - especially orphaned kids - and he treats all children with such respect, he's so sweet to them. You look at him when a young girl comes up to him, holding something behind her back: Some handpicked flowers. She holds them out to him, all shy around such a pretty older boy. Of course, he accepts them and thanks the young girl as she giggles and runs off, he watches her with a small smile - if you point it out the man will throw you a frown. "Can't a guy enjoy the little things in life now? Why don't you get me flowers?" Uh oh, he's got you there.

I believe when this man decides he is done being the ward of the prison in Fontaine, he finally relaxes in a home with you - and a potential child - he cares less and less on physical appearance, obviously tries to keep up but as age comes so does laziness. So beware he may begin to grow a dadbod, he would rock it though.

Ticklish on his stomach, don't know where it came from or how you found out, maybe it was your hand brushing against it while he was stretching and his shirt came untucked. Don't play with the fire though, this man does not like being tickled. Though, he has the most gorgeous laugh, maybe it would be worth it.

Wriothesley takes his sweet time petting animals on the street and taking care of any he may come across - I mean, when does he EVER get to see a pet while stuck at work? It's always something that makes a mans heart swell with joy. However if you were to ask if he is a cat or a dog guy will be admitting he is much of a dog guy. Though, dogs aren't at all interested in him which makes him sigh in defeat, yet cats just seem so in love with him (me too) when they come running up to him. He doesn't mind it though, in all honesty he would prefer having you holding onto his arm as you both walk.

HE WILL PICK YOU UP FROM BEHIND THIS MAN DOES NOT DISCRIMINATE ON WEIGHT EITHER. HE DOES RESPECT BOUNDAIRES THOUGH! IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT HE WONT DO IT!

He absolutely loves it if you show off any clothes, or general items you have recently brought to him. Especially the clothes, he would REALLY love it if you treated his office like a mini walkway, strutting and turning with however much confidence you have. He loves it. The way you talk, walk, smile, everything. He loves whatever you do, he just loves you.

[total-drama-brainrot]

World Tour Assistant Noah AU (where he is always an assistant):

After the gross kiss failed to stop Alejandro's flirting... Noah begs Duncan to convince Alejandro, that Noah is too dorky to date... but Duncan has an even better idea; make Alejandro jealous for fun!

(In this AU, Duncan and Courtney had broken up before Season 3, so Duncan isn't a cheater!)

Duncan: "Thanks for letting me return to the show, handsome.~" 😘

(Duncan kisses Assistant Noah's cheek.)

Alejandro: "Duncan, I will DESTROY you!" 😡

Noah: "I just want to be left alone!" 🙄

Wait hold on... hold on... this is just the premise of my favourite Dunnoah fic series but with an assistant Noah twist. And extra Alenoah flavouring. That's not to say I'm against the idea.

Though I can't really imagine Duncan ever committing himself to flirting with Noah unless the two had struck up a deal prior- Duncan's that specific brand of 2000s era bigoted where being seen as anything but straight is a social crime (despite the fact that Duncan is definitely a boykisser, just in denial), but he's also aware of just how much of a threat Alejandro is in the competition and the latino's huge obvious crush on Chris' personal assistant, so I think Duncan could push aside his own internal biases to at the very least propose a similar idea to Noah.

Really, it'd be beneficial for the both of them; Noah gets to subtly-not-so-subtly tell Alejandro to back off by responding to Duncan's advances but not his, and Duncan gets to rile up Alejandro enough to redivert his attention away from the competition itself thus increasing his own chances of winning. It's strategic, really, nothing more.

It's that line of logic that has Noah eventually conceding that, for all intents and purposes, it's a good plan. So he deigns to play along, at least for a little bit, just to get Alejandro off of his back.

And, canonically, they're both shown to be at least half-decent at flirting, so whatever displays they have planned to annoy Alejandro would be just convincing enough to really get under his skin. Especially since Alejandro's shown in canon to be the protective/possessive type (mostly in All-Stars, in how he reacts to José insulting Heather) and likely wouldn't take too kindly to Duncan swooping in on "his amor" or whatever Spanish nickname he'd substitute it with.

Which all eventually leads to the scenario you proposed; Duncan plants a wet one on Noah's cheek and Alejandro sees red.

Noah's already exhausted by default, but feels weariness seep into the marrow of his bones as a seething Alejandro glares poisonous daggers towards Duncan, who's committed enough to their little ruse to in turn shoot a wink and a pair of finger guns towards the assistant. Deciding that he isn't paid nearly enough to deal with the inevitable confrontation between the two idiots who've apparently taken an interest in him (Duncan's, of course, being a known ruse), Noah leaves to go and do his actual job.

...

And then, Alejandro confronts Duncan directly in the Economy cabin, claiming that he doesn't deserve to so much as look at Noah, and that he (Alejandro) was the one Noah kissed and therefore the object of his attraction so Duncan better lay off. This is news to the punk, and adds a whole new layer of complexity to their plan. And perhaps something he can later exploit to give himself a leg up in the competition.

But why does the idea of Noah kissing Alejandro make his chest tighten up with envy?

And then maybe Duncan finds the untamed passion of Alejandro's genuine fury kind of hot and he too enters the metaphorical boxing ring of feelings? Aledunnoah endgame? The intern server has been posting a lot of Aleduncan lately so letting those two get together (and with Noah in there too, as a bonus) just seems natural to my brain at this point.

[thecoolerliauditore]

big post now that the adrenaline is cooled down a bit. thoughts on each team so far.

overall: ohh I really didn't think I would be enraptured again I really didn't think I would be. Like don't get me wrong I'm not one for wanting the series to end or anything but I was very, very happy about the year long break after Secret Life because it was feeling like quite a lot of content to the point where it was overwhelming.

That break was crucial, I think, to the vibes since I don't know if it's just me but the players just feel like they have so much more energy and excitement for the new season. Etho and Mumbo especially are so quirky this session.

The new mechanic is. shrugs. Really no way to judge it yet seeing as we've pretty much barely seen what it can entail. The fact that everyone has six lives though is making me think some of them are gonna be crazy in future sessions cus that's a ridiculously generous number otherwise and I assume Grian doesn't intend for this season to be twice Third Life's length.

EIGHTEEN PLAYERS! EIGHTEEN PLAYERS! Lizzie, Mumbo, Rendog, Gem 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 I don't have much to add I'm just so happy we're finally getting a season with All of Them. Rendog Ren Ren Diggity Dawg I'm so happy. I'm so happy.

The lag on the server looks um ..... ? Aternos lookin ass. I hope it doesnt impact them too much beyond this episode and they get that fixed cus whoagh that is um bad. Joel being soooo fucking angry about it is so funny please never change Joel.

~

Renwood Mound: First of all horrid name but I would be disappointed by anything less sexually suggestive. Second of all please check up on your Treebark mutuals this is a difficult time. Refeeding syndrome might just kill a couple of you I'm so sorry.

I'm not a big Ren/Martyn understander but my dash has been more celebrating their reunion than crying tears of anguish like the other toxic rebounds (ethubs, tango, pearl) that have popped up so I can only assume it's going to be okay we're all gonna make it.

If they do stay as a duo this season is going to be crazy for Martyn specifically I think. He's already gotten the betrayal he wants, he's already achieved the villainous role he so wants to play, and now it's just him and Ren together with no Dogwarts to lead. I genuinely have no idea where this one will go. o7

~

BAM Boys: I really hope the "boys" part stays in the name despite Lizzie joining them at the end for my very specific Lizzie headcanons. It would tickle me.

Anyway we're finally freed from the grasps of blue man and get the Scar/Jimmy team up this time with added Lizzie flavour. I'm very excited and like. I've seen a lot of people doubting this team will go far which confuses me because I don't know if you guys are aware but Scar won last season. And Lizzie, despite her early death in SL, really is no pushover either (she had one of the highest body counts in LL and I wish more people talked about that).

Scar specifically is in a great spot with pretty much full diamond armour already. He gets all giddy while mining and says to himself something like "ooh I get to share some with Jimmy!" which is so sweet to me.

Scar remaking the reputation board from Third Life is actually insane. What is he doing.

All this to say I think this team looks wholesome and I'm optimistic for their future. This could be Jimmy's Mounders. Or it could be Fairy Fort 2 idk let's see.

~

I think Bigb's possessed again.

~

The Hobbits(???): Hilarious to me that they stole Flower Husbands' original branding. Anyway Grumbo is back idk if I know them well enough to make a statement but I'm mentally chucking them into the toxic rebound box in my head just to get the number up.

This is the POV I've seen the least of but they seem fun. I wonder if being out of the horrific environment that was the Southlanders will do any good for Grumbo's relationship. Skizz being there also tends to bring the mood up 400% (unless it's Dogwarts).

~

Joel & Gem: IM SO EXCITED. This is pretty much the Bdubs/Joel team-up I wanted originally but now we get Ethubs too which is even more awesome for me. Very cringe take from me but they are both shounen anime.

Despite what Scott says I really don't think they'll "spontaneously combust". They're both high energy and aggressive but historically loyal to the people who accept them, the sample rate for Gem is not exactly scientifically viable but. Vaguely gestures to all of Secret Life.

I kind of wanna see Gem kill Pearl.

~

Whatever the fuck the Ethubs + Tango team is called: Why.

No like seriously Tango I thought you hated these bitches why are you third wheeling them. He's also surprisingly Bdubspilled like he sides with him on the horse thing and tries to warn Bdubs about Etho lying later. Like, don't get me wrong I really don't think Tango has spite for Bdubs comparable to like. Pearl for Scott for example but he certainly isn't fond of him after he um Fucking Murdered Him and was completely unapologetic.

I'm not really a Tango guy so I can't speak on what's going on inside his head regarding that it's just. Interesting to observe. At least the brief ranchers interaction was cute (and really funny to see in the background of ethubs yelling at eachother).

Anyway Ethubs are insane. It's so funny to me that their horse argument literally lasted an entire in game day.

It's fun for me specifically because I always viewed Secret Life as somewhat of a soft end/reboot point for the series for multiple reasons - the year long hiatus, scars win bookending things really well, pearl and scotts arcs wrapping up (oh how naive) and, of course, the conclusion ethubs reached.

I think I've made a post before about how beautiful of an ending SL is for Ethubs. The distance allowing them to overcome their own personal issues with Bdubs learning he's capable and to care for people who aren't himself or Etho and Etho learning relationships don't have to be minefields, leading into HC10 where Bdubs moves into the rural countryside away from everything and Etho hanging out with his new coworkers at the post office. They can still talk and visit, of course, but the time away from eachother does them wonders and adds a bit of hope for how they will be in the future.

So how should I even fucking feel about Etho pulling a Limited Life and almost killing Bdubs for a prank. Or Etho asking Bdubs what he's done for him. Or Etho in general being a little shit about the horse thing and Bdubs being equally stubborn.

Bdubs even kinda?? Talks like they're a couple who've gone to therapy with the "I should express how I feel and how I feel is.." and the way he catches himself when he's halfway through yelling. Like I'm not insane you guys hear it too right.

Like don't get me wrong I'm very stuck in my ways of insisting Ethubs isn't really toxic, at least not anymore, but I can totally see someone else being horrified by them and I would cheer them on for it. This episode is especially going to be horrible for that person. At least for me it seems like Bdubs' character development is very real i.e. him rejecting Etho's chestplate with the classic "I can take care of myself", a stark contrast to LL/DL Bdubs and he bites back when Etho is weird.

I have hope for Ethubs is what I'm trying to say and it's totallyyyy not because they're my first ship and I'm biased. I need to figure out what's wrong with Etho and why he's doing this. I saw a post that theorized Etho wanted Bdubs to get mad at him and kill him this season which I'm rotating a bit but I'll have to keep watching. Ethubs girls we're in for it we really are. Tango girls I'm um sorry.

~

PICS / the Islanders: My 13th reason why.

Trying to not repeat too much here from whatever happened to me emotionally last night but this is what hell looks like. It's what I expected but like. DAMN. I wasn't expecting it to be. That bad.

Seeing a lot of people say that the team is just. Pearl, The Horrors and Impulse who is just 🧍‍♂️and I don't think that's completely wrong or anything however ☝️I must say that Impulse continues to frighten me and him being here is making me personally shake like a chihuahua. Like I can't really explain his character if you put a gun to my head I just think the guy might have some issues communicating emotions and prefers to hold grudges/be passive aggressive like with the psychological horror that was the impdubs DL POV and I can't imagine him being particularly Good for Pearl. Also he's done several insane things in the past e.g. the Bdubs grudge, laughing at Tango when he tries to kill himself in SL, being excited(??) for gem to kill him in SL, trying to kill Skizz in SL wow wait maybe it's just proximity to gem and scott that fucks this guy up. Idk though I don't trust his ass.

Anyway. Yes like we are all Martyn Inthelittlewooding it up for Pearl in here. I have so many somewhat misogynistic fantasies in my head about her being saved by Gem or Bdubs or Joel or Bigb for that matter. Emotionally that's what I would want. HOWEVER I don't think that would actually be anything that would help Pearl in fact I think she'd just run back to her team because she's loyal like that. So now I kind of just want to see the consequences of her actions. Whittle her down to nothing 💥💥💥💥💥It would break me it genuinely would.

Cleo fucking catching herself and correcting "trauma" to "damage" mid sentence is insane can we kill. can we kill them.

So yeah um I'm excited for this season

[junk-culture]

chief whats the appeal of withnail and i... i kinda thought it sucked ://

THAT'S OKAY.... you don't have to like it..Each To Their Own.... ❤️ and i do think withnail & i is a very specific acquired taste. if the comedy isn't your kind of comedy or it just doesn't resonate that's fine lol. (and ik some people find the 'predatory gay man' trope in uncle monty's character a bit too much which is fine lol.)

i don't wanna try to change your mind about it because it's totally fine if you don't like it but also i would quite like to ramble about why i like it for 200 paragraphs if that's okay.

i do think withnail & i is something you probably have to watch at the right time, like mentally. like i first watched it when i was bored unemployed stagnating rotting in my small town flop era and so naturally it Resonated. i was literally drifting into the arena of the unwell. making an enemy of my own future etc. and it made me feel worse. it truly is a feel-bad film basically. but i don't mean that as a criticism i mean that's part of its appeal.

also i guess just that type of comedy appeals to me. i like nasty putrid absurd stupid but intelligently written black comedies. and i think richard e and the eighth doctor are very good in this film. like partly it is just a classic quotable comedy to me. and that's a subjective thing obviously. one man's cult classic is another man's it sucked. i learned recently that richard e was and is a teetotal which is pretty awesome considering how grotesquely high and unhealthy he managed to look.

obviously i can't neglect to mention the doomed yaoi though. that's certainly part of its appeal epecially on tumblr the doomed yaoi website. but it's like an absolutely wretched putrid ugly tobacco stained disgusting fried egg flavour of doomed yaoi. which is quite refreshing in my opinion.

but also just the character of withnail is so good. like he's insane and terrible but also extremely sad and someone to be sympathised with. i rewatched the film recently (lol) and what got me was how like. gracious he is about marwood's success. like the main tragedy of the film is marwood finally managing to break out of their mutually assured self destructive mess of bad habits but to do that he has to leave withnail behind. and it's heartbreaking to see withnail get left behind etc. but it's the way withnail for all his ranting and raving never like. openly begrudges marwood for his success like he always puts on a brave face and congratulates him, despite all the despair and bitterness he obviously feels internally. and he tries to "make time" drink driving back to london so marwood can make it back quickly for his audition and it's like </3 .especially because like. in the film we don't even know if marwood is Good at acting. at the end of the film when withnail does his hamlet speech it's like ohhh. he wasn't just a self-important dreamer with delusions of grandeur he can actually act. but it's marwood who gets the luck. and there's nothing really to suggest that he's a better actor than withnail or "deserves" it more. just a simple case of some people make it some don't. some escape the cycle some just stay and rot. idk man.

plus the fact that the film is partly autobiographical/partly based on someone bruce robinson knew? like it's coming from the heart basically.

also i think it is pretty well-shot/good looking as a film? i love the scenes in the countryside, withnail standing on the rock shouting into the misty void etc but also the beautifully pungent and detailed interiors of their flat.

(also, people say that withnail & i is a very specifically british film so i guess that's probably why it works for some and not others. both in terms of the humour and in terms of the subject matter i.e. the end of an era 60s was shit the 70s will be shitter everything's incredibly shit vibe. plus the specifics of monty and the dying breed of upper class twit he represents i guess and withnail's specific brand of oxford educated repressed homosexualism or what the fuck ever.)

idk it's hard to articulate exactly what the appeal of the film is and why i've watched it like 4 times but basically it's just funny and tragic in a way that i Get. joker voice you had to be there you wouldn't get it etc. if the ending theme with withnail walking off in the rain accompanied by his insanely sad clown music doesn't get to you then that's fine, i guess it's just not the movie for you. but me personally i <3 it :)

[cononeillbreastingboobily]

do you have like. a dream modern au for ofmd?

Oh my god, okay.

Disclaimer: the credit for the initial idea goes to my mum. I just built on it.

See this? This is a fragment of the riverside of Wisła, or Vistula if you're being fancy, as seen in Warsaw, Poland. It's been renovated over the years, and now it's bustling with activity throughout the warmer months, filled with restaurants, cafes, bars and beach clubs.

Now, picture this: Blackbeard's Bar & Grill, the trendiest eatery in the entire city. An upscale place, with a menu thought up by Edek, a mad genius. The way he combines his ingredients shouldn't work but it does.

So Ed's bar has been growing in popularity, but frankly? He's over it. And it would've been easy for him to walk out if it wasn't for the fact that the manager for the joint is his boy best friend/soulmate/bitter ex/beloved husband Iz (short for Izydor) and for some reason he doesn't like to think about too hard, Ed just can't bring himself to talk honestly to Iz about what he wants, possibly disappointing him, and the alternatives to their current lifestyle.

Enter Stede. Yes, Stede. He's from abroad, his mother was Polish. He's in the middle of a midlife crisis, and now, having ditched his bitch wife and kids, he decided what better to do now that he's up ended his whole life, than move to his motherland and open a shoddy little cafe at the riverside in Warsaw. Armed with a lot of money and even more enthusiasm, he collects a ragtag crew of employees, and soon Stede's is open for business! And the bar right next to it seems to be very popular...

I love this AU because there's just so much that could be done with it, even tho it's so specific. It could be Steddyhands, because Stede eats something he thinks was made by Ed and he loves it, but it turns out it was one of the rare occasions when Izzy goes inside the bar kitchen and actually cooks something. Cue lots and lots of misunderstandings, fanboy Stede, Ed who can't help falling for this new freak, Stede's appreciation for Iz waking up the long dormant feelings Ed has had for him, Izzy simply not dealing well with the attention and praise, and definitely crew employee shenanigans.

It could be the classic Blackbonnet because maybe Stede's enthusiasm for gastronomy reignites Ed's and they open a brand new restaurant together, or maybe they retire with Stede's inheritance and Ed's bar money.

It could be Gentlehands because Iz's no nonsense attitude is a reality check for Stede, maybe he helps Stede's cafe through a particularly big crisis, and throughout nightly meetings over business plans and sample menus they could find that they actually get along really well, and maybe there's an especially wine-heavy night that ends with both of them ending up in the same bed...

Finally, it could be Edizzy, because Stede's presence and his flourishing business could have Izzy go into panic mode about how they're going to cope if his café gets more popular than the bar&grill. This could prompt the two to finally Talk It Through, finding out that maybe, just maybe, they love each other and at the end of the day what really matters is that they're together. Maybe Ed, with his newfound appreciation of Iz could finally actually tell him how he feels, and then weee #divorcecancelled

Finally, it could be any and all flavours of Izzy x The Crew, because they see Izzy for the first time and immediately get the Wants To Fuck That Old Man disease. And brother? It's terminal.

Hehe :3c

[inkblackorchid]

Hit me with your favorite 5Ds headcanons 👀

Okay so I’ve used/alluded to some of these in my fics already, but that’s just because I love them that much (also it was really hard deciding which are my favourite headcanons):

Crow swears the most out of the boys, but has an almost supernatural ability to completely shut his swearing off the second children are around (unless he’s really flustered)

Though I’ve kinda hinted at something like it before, Jack isn’t actually the worst cook at the Poppo Time. Bruno is. Because Jack knows what good food is supposed to taste like (having been a star duellist for a while and all) and can reasonably guess how to approximate those flavours—he just doesn’t cook because he doesn’t have the patience to learn any technique whatsoever (or clean up after himself when he’s done). Meanwhile, Bruno just can’t cook. Straight up. It’s not a matter of wanting or not wanting to, if you try tasking this man with anything more difficult than preparing cup ramen he will burn something. Guaranteed.

Bruno and Yusei don’t have the same mechanical skillset. Bruno is almost 100% specialised only to runners, and at that, he’s slightly better than Yusei. But Yusei’s advantage is that he knows how to fix almost everything else (provided it’s mechanical and/or electronic), too.

All three of the Satellite boys actually know how to sew a bit. Martha taught them how to mend their own clothes. The quality of their seams varies (Crow’s are the neatest because he got a lot of practice from mending his kids’ stuff, too), but they all know how to sew tears shut and mend holes.

Aki isn’t as good a gardener as one would believe with her plant theme. She likes gardening a great deal, but doesn’t have a lot of experience outside of house plants. So she could decently keep a garden alive, but would never be able to maintain something like, say, a bonsai collection or a bed of prize roses, despite her love for the activity.

I’ve written a whole post about this already, but I still adore it, so: Satellite natives, post reunion with the city, are the bane of brand phone store workers’ existence. They want everything fixed, not replaced, and trying to explain to them why that would be too complicated (whether contrived or not) usually results in them not paying a single cent and going something like “oh, forget it, I’ll just give it to the neighbour’s boy, he’ll take care of this”. This includes Yusei, who usually just ends up fixing his own stuff, and especially Crow, who has already nearly gotten in a fistfight with some tech company’s store manager upon hearing the supposed price of a repair/replacement on more than one occasion before. (He obviously just ends up handing his stuff over to Yusei, too, in the end.)

Maybe my favourite headcanon: As TCG fans know, the manga versions of the signer dragons were printed as the duel dragons. In-universe, I imagine the duel dragons were also printed—as commercial, publicly available retrains of the signer dragons, who are supposed to be one of a kind in canon. (I also use this headcanon to justify why the signers have support cards tailored specifically to their dragons—they were printed to go with the duel dragons in-universe, but allow usage with the original signer dragons as well.)

Rua/Leo isn’t actually that bad at school. He’s just not very disciplined when it comes to studying because he’d rather keep polishing up his deck.

Ruka/Luna owns several duel monsters plushies. Her favourite is, of course, her Kuribon plushie.

Carly is really good at clocking people’s vibes and figuring out their character quickly. The caveat is that this only works when she meets them face to face.

[aza-trash-can]

My brain won't leave me tf alone, so here, take some assorted Neuvillette headcanons (I'll keep them angst-free for now)

He likes tea and coffee, but he's extremely specific about it. There is a single brand of tea that he likes, and he refuses to drink anything else. For coffee, it's not so much about the flavour as it is the caffeine so he can stay up and keep working. As such, it's strong. Very strong. No human should ever take a sip of what he has, they will get a caffeine overdose and get horribly sick

The only time he tries other teas is when Wriothesley sends him some. He would never turn down a gift from him, and even though he knows he probably won't like it, he at least gives every new tea Wriothesley gifts him a try

Every now and again after an especially busy week, he can be found asleep on one of the couches in his office with a couple of melusines cuddled up with him. It's one of the only surefire ways they know of to get him to rest

A lot of his manerisms concerning the melusines come from him copying (either consciously or subconsciously) what Egeria did for him when he was younger. "Mon petit" -> "ma petite/mes petites", giving head pats for a good job, the gentle smiles, all of it comes from what he remembers Egeria acted like as his mother

[adolin]

i have a jockposting question:) do you track macros at all, or at least protein intake? and if you do, do you have recommendations for meals/snacks that are great for upping protein? i'm struggling to find things that are yummy and not too boring while also providing 30+ grams of protein!! ty jock queen 😌🫶

hi hi anon! I don't currently track macros but I have done it in the past and I KNOW that protein struggle. some ideas

greek yogurt (low fat if you really want to get max protein per serving). I used to stir protein powder into it, along with fruit and some crunchy carbs for texture

cold cuts! idk if you have prosciutto cotto or stuff like roasted turkey breast but. that.

legumes, especially lentils

cheeses like parmesan, grana padano and similar, whatever your local equivalent is. Cottage cheese also.

fish fingers

protein bars! My go-to were LIDL brand protein bars because they're dirty cheap (like 1.1€/bar) and have something like 25g of protein per 200 calories. they taste chemical though, and the strawberry flavour is rancid

protein powder in bulk. I use HSN.eu and but the 4kg bag when it's on sale. lasts forever! do NOT buy the salted caramel flavour, it's nasty (ask me how I know). white chocolate coconut is good though

(Some people will say peanut butter but personally I'm not a fan. It's very calories-dense and it has too much saturated fats to count as a "protein" source. Like, if you eat peanut butter sandwiches you're getting most of your macros, but there's not an especially high amount of protein compared to total energetic intake. It's good if you want to bulk and a spoon here and there for flavour, but I wouldn't prioritise it over other foods as a protein source specifically)

To anyone reading this who's not jockpilled, you don't need to track your macros or obsess over protein intake to see visible results from exercising, so no need to stress about it! This is definitely a case of "majoring in the minors" if you're more serious than most about reaching strength goals.

However, it IS true that aiming for a decently high protein intake has a visible, immediate impact on your recovery time, muscle building, energy levels and satiation. Anything upwards of 0.7 g of protein per kg of body weight per day is a good intake range, up to a few times that if you're Serious Serious.

[bugsbenefit]

okay actually considering what we might get today to get my mind on something different

1.) season 5 opening card? very possible but almost a bit anticlimactic now because they usually get revealed around the start of filming not the end. so yeah possible, but i could only see that in combination with something else bc as a stand alone i don't think anyone wants it or would even get hyped over

2.) episode titles? possible tbh. we're already past when we usually got those in the past. and we Do have the first episode title already as well (there's also been titles leaked a few months ago that could be real, so it'd be interesting if they'd confirm those or gave us different ones all together) i could see it

3.) some bts footage again, potentially a set tour? really possible imo, especially "safer" sets that are important and iconic but not a surprise like Mike's basement would be a pretty easy way to get content for them

4.) actual s5 footage? potentially. it's way too early for a real trailer but i could see it in the format of 1 minute of previous season's footage and then two shots from s5 or something like that

5.) there's also the possibility of them dropping plot centered clip teasers again like they did for s4. which was things like a montage from the Cali plot, or out of context flashes from what El sees in NINA etc. which would be really cool but I'm not really expecting yet because of how insanely secretive they've already been about s5 up until now. like, to the point we're 9 months into filming we've got 0 plot leaks and maybe a dozen glimpses of actors out in the wild. they're keeping that under lock and key. and based on that they might not want to tease specific plot lines yet because it would give too much of the s5 plot away

so 1-4 i could see happening, or at least some of them, not sure if they would do ALL of that lmao, they still need to keep some time slots free for arbitrary figurine marketing

5 i would want but am not keeping my hopes up for

but idk idk it could also be super lame. i think the only thing i'm actually hoping for is s5 footage. 9 months into filming is when all the other seasons started showing that so we're definitely at a point where we can start expecting something

not hoping for much but something small like one or two shots would be cool. would be really funny if they showed the s4 ending and then just played a second longer of the zoom in we didn't get in s4, i could see them be mean like that too lmfao. to be fair just continuing with that scene would be a pretty cool teaser at some point. i remember how that script ended, that scene is longer i'm dying on that hill (unintentional word play)

okay so anyway, watch ST day just be a ST themed bike class and 10 new ice cream flavours in "american" brand store. Neftlix's marketing of that show is so embarrassing i really don't need the reminder it's their biggest cash cow every time they market it

not expecting much and i can only be positively surprised lets go

[amu-brain-dump]

🎤 top five crisps and/or top five chocolate bars

Alright so this has been unreasonably difficult 😩 and because of that I'm gonna rant.

1. Bugles 3D / the rest in no particular order: Munchitos original, Pringles tortilla nacho cheese, Cheetos pelotazos (football), Lays campesinas

Bugles 3D have been my favourite since I can remember, and I'm talking about the original cheese & bacon flavour. Nowadays there are more flavours that are still good but nothing compares with the OG. And the shape is so much fun!

I was debating including these ones because this is basically doxxing myself, but whatever I don't live there anymore and there are 7 islands anyway 🤣 Munchitos is a regional brand of crisps from the Canary Islands, Spain where I grew up. These are incidentally my sister's favourites too. At first glance there is nothing special about them, typical original salted crisps every brand has but these are different. They're huge (when not broken xD) like half of the size of my palm, and they have a very light and crunchy texture, more so than other crisps I've had. Also, very addictive.

Cheetos really knows what's good when talking about crisps, but these ones are out of this world amazing. Cheese flavour and very dusty, they're all crunchy and since they're small balls you can put so many in your mouth at once 😁

Pringles made a mistake discontinuing the Tortilla series, they were all bomb especially the nacho cheese ones. Much more flavour than the regular plain Pringles in my opinion. I still like the regular flavours but if the day comes where they bring these back I'm gonna restock like in a zombie apocalipse

Lays campesinas (translates to countryside, rural kind of thing) taste like tomato and pepper and herbs... It's a very homey kind of taste that I have not found in any other crisps unfortunately. It's a bit hard ro explain because I haven't had them is a long time.

At this point is more a sad joke than anything but it is very true that I can't get my favourite foods easily here in the UK, not even snack ... Cause 4/5 of these are not easily available around here. The Cheetos were in Asda for a couple of months 2 years ago but not anymore. And the original Bugles are almost non existent since I can only get them in specific foreign stores. But I make do with what's around here 🥲

[raw-law]

thank u for always anwering my asks so kindly ! <3

what are your favorite desserts? my favorite has gotta be specifically the little debbie's brand strawberry shortcake rolls... i love anything strawberry-flavored

- strawbunny 🐇🍰

Light:

No problem, and thank you for asking.

I don't really like desserts...but if I had to choose, I guess I'd pick scones. It isn't all that sweet---great for people like myself who prefer less sweet options---and it goes well with fruit jam, which I do happen to enjoy more. It's nice for breakfast as well.

And then there's always dorayaki, which fits no matter the occasion (especially if you're in Japan; many people eat them for breakfast, or for a snack during teatime).

I agree that strawberry-flavoured stuff can be nice, though they tend to be a little on the sweeter side. Personally, though, I still prefer the real thing.

Thanks for your ask!

L:

yes, thank you for asking them to begin with. they're always fun to see.

i believe i made a list of a lot of desserts i really like some time ago.. but i'm too tired to write any of that out again, so my current top two are probably mochi ice cream and latiya. also chocolate cake but chocolate cake is always a given. you can't ruin chocolate cake.

strawberry flavored things are nice too, but light's wrong. they taste much better than the real thing. real strawberries are sweet in a sting-y way, so it tastes weird. and they're bumpy. they only taste good when mixed with other things. strawberries go in F tier. final verdict.

you get a pass though. strawbunnies are S tier. i like bunnies.

[lazlohno]

safe foods

as an autistic person, i experience the common phenomena among us tistics that is safe foods.

i just felt like listing mine and why they’re safe. my blog, why not?

Blueberries - Round, have 3 different tiers of flavour that usually correspond to size. If they feel wrong, they ARE wrong. this rule ESPECIALLY goes for texture.

Grapes - Oblong, bite-sized. These ones ease me into drinking water when I’m having a rough day. Mostly water themselves, and have two colours, both of which are nice on the eye.

A specific brand of granola bars - Rectangles! Hand-sized. Grounding, for one reason or another. texturally a dream. Granola is only good in this form, fight me. Taste is ALWAYS consistent or something is HORRIBLY WRONG with the bar itself.

Kimchi ramen - The only thing I dislike are the mushrooms, which I just avoid. Never too many spice packets. Consistent, pasta, and can be prepared in two ways depending on how I’m feeling; Broth or no broth. The little vegetables are funny to me. Warm. When I cook it right, the ramen is very nice and consistent texturally.

Common patterns:

Roundness (?)

You can easily tell if something is wrong with the food

Easy to eat

Consistent texture and flavour

This is interesting information which I will now knowingly apply when assessing foods in the future. Fun

[nimble-stuff]

Dehumanization || Hamato Brothers - Pale Room, Part I Splinter has instilled a fear of humans in them since they were kids. The brothers find out why.

FANDOM: ROTTMNT

@badthingshappenbingo​

<< PREVIOUS || NEXT >>

They all reacted differently. Leo wanted to crawl inside his brothers’ minds, to pull apart their psychologies, to see how they were wrapping their heads around the current problem. It was the least he could do to understand them. To fix things. To ease tensions. Especially when he’d been the first to go down.

When he’d felt the tranquilizer dart pinch his neck, he knew they were in for a bad time. Raph took charge the moment Leo’s legs went wobbly, but he’d had a feeling even as his face hit rough concrete that it the control Raph exerted was a figurehead in an uncontrollable situation. Leo woke up later to a grimy ceiling and his brothers around him, no weapons, and four walls in a dank room no larger than a shipping container. The walls were smeared with grime and age, too small to accommodate all four of them, a heavy metal door separating them from the outside. Little lighting, no windows. A foul smell. The distant sounds of screams and struggling, too indistinct to place. Nothing except the tinny echo of their voices.

Leo settled his arm against the door, glaring at the metal and hoping that his silent rage would put off whatever monster-of-the-week had locked them in the cell. There really was no other term for it other than cell, but for now he avoided saying it out loud. Donnie didn’t have any of his gear, not even his Battle Shell, so that limited their options, however he kept busy probing the walls for weak points and hidden cameras. He found two in the first ten minutes.

For the rest of them, there was little they could do except pace around and hope Donnie came up with an escape plan. Brute force hadn’t worked. Raph had pounded on the door for close to an hour before he gave up, and it hadn’t even dented. Whoever was keeping them here had either built the room specifically to hold them, or it was designed to hold something much, much stronger than they were. Neither option bode well.

“How’s it going, Donnie?” Leo asked, glancing over his shoulder.

Donnie pried a small black object out from between two panels in the wall. “Camera number three.”

“Any idea who’s behind this?” Raph asked.

“It’s human technology,” said Donnie, rolling the camera between his fingers. It was only the size of his fingertip, and snapped when he applied enough force. “So I’m guessing humans.”

“Great, that’s great, really makes me feel better,” said Leo.

“Don’t be down, that means they have human weaknesses,” said Mikey. “Remember what Dad always says: a human’s greatest weakness is…”

“Their stupidity?” Donnie offered.

“Poor muscle mass!” said Raph.

“Daytime television?” said Leo.

“No, no, no.” Mikey shook his head. “A human’s greatest weakness is their stomach. We win them through food.”

“Oh, Mikey wants to play fetch with a human, brilliant plan,” Donnie drawled.

“It’s gonna work this time. Mikey came prepared!”

Mikey pulled out a bag of chips from his shell, a knock-off brand that tasted more potato than chip. The bag matched the expectations, crinkled like an old man’s flabby skin.

“I have a reward system all planned out,” said Mikey. “Once we make friends with them and teach them a few tricks, we make a break for it.”

“Mikey, that’s never going to work,” said Donnie.

“Didn’t you try that on April when we first met her?” Raph asked.

“Yeah, actually, that does ring a bell,” said Leo. “As I recall, April had you playing fetch and shaking hands within the hour, Mikey.”

“She had gummy worms,” said Mikey. “I didn’t even know worms could be gummy, I thought they only came in slimy flavour.”

“Excuse me, this is a bit of a wild idea, but perhaps could we focus on escaping?!” Donnie shouted. “Being imprisoned lost its novelty a long time ago! There isn’t even a bathroom in here!”

“I went before we left,” Mikey said with pride.

“Okay, nobody think about waterfalls,” said Raph.

“Or water parks,” said Leo.

“Or hoses,” said Mikey.

“Or rainstorms,” said Raph.

“Fire hydrants.”

“Sewer water.”

“I want out!” Donnie yelled.

In the end, Leo would could able tell what got the door to open, unsure if it was them annoying the hell out of their captors or Donnie’s insistence that he wanted out or if it was just a regular, scheduled visit. Either way, the door swung open so fast that he leapt back to avoid getting flattened against the wall. Armed soldiers swarmed inside, dressed in black, their entire bodies obscured except for the lower halves of their faces.

“Oh, hey, finally!” said Leo. “Hey, we think we took a wrong turn somewhere, would one of you mind telling us where—wow, that is a big gun. Could you point it somewhere else?”

No answer. The soldiers were movie caricatures caricatures rather than living, breathing humans in front of him. Leo saw the disdain in their scowls. Circling the exit, Leo realized it wouldn’t be as simple as overpowering them, yet he searched for the opening anyway.

Once the soldiers felt secure, a woman with steely eyes stepped into the cell. She wore a lab coat, flanked by a young intern who openly gawked at the turtles.

“Okay, cool, you look like you’re an authority figure,” said Leo. “Could you let us out? We’re getting bored.”

The woman scribbled something on a clipboard. “We’ll start with blood and tissue samples. We can save everything else until after they’re finished processing A-12.”

“So cold. Hey, lady, I’m talking to you.”

The woman didn’t look at Leo, like he hadn’t spoken at all. Leo only knew that he was making words people could hear because the intern kept flinching with the rise and fall of his voice.

“Hey, fetch!” Mikey called out. He tossed a few chips at her.

That got the woman’s attention, gaze sliding over the chip fragments on the floor. With a nod to one soldier, the armed guard step forward and snatched the bag out of Mikey’s hand.

“Aw, no fair,” Mikey whined.

The woman scribbled on her clipboard, while the intern wheeled in medical equipment on a cart.

“Since you four possess language skills, you should know that this room is designed to flood with a paralyzing agent in the event of an escape attempt,” said the woman. “All personnel are armed and authorized to use lethal force. For your own safety and the safety of our staff, you will comply.”

“That’s pretty extreme,” said Leo. “Who the hell do you think you are?”

She sighed. “I’m Doctor Gabrielle Paccioretti. You’re currently in protective custody in a facility run by the Earth Protection Force.”

Behind him, Donnie let out a few low swears.

“‘Protective custody?’ We’re in a prison cell, and it smells weird in here. Where’s our lawyer? I plead the fifth!”

“The American government backs the EPF, but even if it didn’t…” She snapped on some rubber gloves. “The law doesn’t apply to nonhumans.”

Paccioretti nodded to the intern, who picked up the largest syringe Leo had ever seen. Maybe his internal panic was exaggerating the size.

The moment the intern took even a fraction of a step towards Mikey, Leo’s vision blurred with intense and overwhelming rage. He punched him in the face. Teeth and jawbone shattered under his fist.

Leo should have been relieved that he wasn’t shot dead right away. Movement and shouts and activity exploded all around him. He glimpsed his brothers rising to his defense, then swearing and the loud clicks of the safety coming off of guns. Strange hands seized his limbs. Leo fought the whole way down to the ground, clawing, biting, swearing, struggling. It felt like a long way to the floor. A whole ass group of soldiers pinned him, his jaw bouncing off of hard concrete.

“If any one of you makes another move, we shoot this one dead,” Paccioretti announced. Somehow, her voice rose above the loud outbreak of noise.

Raph, Mikey, and Donnie froze. Raph had a hand wrapped fully around the neck of a soldier, Mikey had another in a headlock, Donnie was wrestling another for his gun. No movement, all quiet. The cold metal of a gun barrel wedged against the back of Leo’s head and the fight in his brothers bled away.

“This is your only warning,” said Paccioretti. She nodded at the soldiers. “Continue.”

Raph released the soldier in his hand and raised his arms up in surrender, and Mikey’s hands were wrestled behind his back. Donnie bolted up and backed into the corner of the cell, closed in on three sides. From his position on the ground, Leo could only see Donnie’s feet skirting left and right. He saw the anxiety in every step, the heightening tension in his voice.

“Don’t you dare,” Donnie warned them.

Leo never heard what the threat was before the soldiers jumped and Donnie let out a piercing scream.

It sounded like he was being murdered. Full-body terror sliced its way through Leo, bisecting him in half. Donnie’s feet scraped against the concrete, Leo saw thin hairline cuts appear in the raw flesh, shouted his name although it was lost under the undercurrent of the full-body howl that went and went and went.

“Ignore it, it’s just trying to get attention,” Paccioretti told the soldiers. She knelt by Leo’s side, fully extended his arm, and sliced off the wrappings.

A second shriek accompanied Donnie’s. “FUCK, IT BIT ME!”

“Then break its jaw,” one soldier said.

“Don’t be ridiculous!” Paccioeretti shouted. “I will not have the dental exam compromised by impulsive, stupid decisions. If you can’t handle one screaming mutant, find another job!”

Donnie’s scream was so physically painful that Leo wasn’t even aware of the ache in his arm until Paccioeretti withdrew and there was a fat, ugly mark where she’d taken a chunk of flesh out of his arm. The soldiers pulled back and Leo scrambled up, prepared to take a swing and damn the risks. The soldiers had him covered, held him at gunpoint as she gave Mikey the same treatment. Paccioeretti possessed the cold composure of a seasoned scientist, immune to flinches and gasps of pain as she first took a blood sample, then used an intimidating device to slice a coin-shaped chunk from Mikey’s arm. When she was done, Mikey hurried to Leo’s side, crushing his hand.

Leo knew the look of Raph keeping a close eye on each of his brothers, but he couldn’t keep the fear out when their gazes locked. The soldiers didn’t have to force Raph to extend his arm. He did it for them, accepting the treatment, more worried about the rest of them than he was about himself. The only moment Raph flinched was when Donnie’s scream reached a particularly high note Leo was sure he hadn’t heard him reach since they were kids.

Paccioeretti moved to Donnie last. It took four soldiers to hold him down while he struggled. Leo struggled to see around the wide expanse of their shoulders.

Donnie suddenly went quiet.

A moment ago, Leo had been praying for Donnie to stop shouting so he could hear his thoughts, and now he wanted it back. The only part of Leo that he could see past the mass of humans surrounding him was his rigid leg. It didn’t move again until Paccioeretti stepped back and stared down Leo as she left. He saw nothing to indicate humanity.

The soldiers waited until the last minute to let Donnie go, like a turtle paralyzed with fear was the biggest threat in the room. The intern wheeled out the cart, then the soldiers backed out of the cell one-by-one.

“Hey, there’s no washroom in here!” Leo called after them.

The reply came in the form of a metal bucket thrown inside. Leo ducked to avoid it, and it rung a hollow tune as it rolled around on the floor in a circle, and the last Leo saw of the outside was the disgusted glower of a soldier slamming the door shut and locking it with a thick clunk.

The adrenaline tasted salty in the air. They were all panting, holding the fresh wounds on their arms, staring into nothing. Donnie jumped up from the floor and stood with his back flat against the wall. The pressure Mikey put on Leo’s hand was intense.

“…Donnie?” Mikey said. “Are you okay?”

“Don’t,” Donnie barked. “Just don’t.”

Mikey left Leo’s side and reached for Donnie. “But are you okay?”

“I…I need to keep checking for cameras. I need to check for cameras, don’t distract me.”

Donnie shifted away when Mikey approached. Whatever Mikey was thinking, he seemed to think better of it and pulled back.

Raph sat back on the ground, his face in his hands, more confused and worried than hurt. Mikey curled up beside him, and Raph set an arm on his shoulder. His and Leo’s eyes caught. Since they were kids, Raph had always been the strong one between them, yet he could see the small vulnerable fractures in his irises, see Raph gather his strength with the rise of his shoulders.

“Wow, that was awful!” Raph finally said, like he was talking about a movie.

“Yeah, they were kind of cranky, weren’t they?” said Leo.

He picked up the bucket and held it in his hands. It smelt strange.

“Psh, they didn’t even provide reading material,” said Leo. “I can’t go unless I got the comics section.”

He looked around for a smile and found none. Tough crowd.

Leo set the bucket upside down and sat on it. “Hey, at least we got furniture now!…Until someone needs to use it. So, who wants to play a game to pass the time? And no, Donnie, ‘Find the Cameras’ doesn’t count.”

Donnie didn’t even look over his shoulder. He didn’t even appear to be inspecting the paneling anymore. He knelt with his back to them, rubbing his arm.

“How about Word Association?” Raph suggested.

“Oh, I’m gonna nail this one,” said Leo.

“You can’t make words up this time.”

“Fine, but I get to keep sitting on the bucket.”

“Deal. Mikey, want to go first?”

Mikey picked out dirt from under his fingernails, not quite rising his head.

Finally, he said, “Pillow.”

“Sleep,” Leo offered.

“Dream,” said Raph.

“Flying,” said Mikey.

“Birds.” Leo.

“Big Bird.” Raph.

“Sesame Street!” Mikey added with a fist pump and a more familiar smile.

It went on like that, a simple distraction. In the corner, Donnie tilted his head towards their voices, hands running steady over the wall. The distant screams and struggling Leo had heard before from beyond the cell had gone quiet.

[whatthefishh]

HAPPY 1000 MONA!!!!

Happy to be 1k celebration buddy’s with you

For your games, who do you ship me with 👀👀 I feel you know me enough at this point to make a god matchmaker

Romanaaaaa

Happy 1k to you too bb 🩷🩷!!

Girl you should know…

I ship you with: Santiago Garcia

You meet in the snack aisle of the local grocery, both your hands reaching for the same obscene flavour of chips that nobody else in your friend group likes. It’s cheesy, you know, but you swear you felt a spark as your fingers touched.

Santi backs off and gestures for you to go ahead with an awkward shuffle of his feet and a smile that makes your stomach swoop, and you can’t help but want to know more about the stunning man in front of you with the same taste in abnormal snacks as you. You get to talking and end up standing in the aisle for 15 minutes before either of you think of getting the other’s number.

One thing leads to another, and you’re seeing Santi on the regular, movie nights at his place are your favourite low key date night. He tries to learn everything there is to know about you to be able to be closer to you, buys you your go to drinks and keeps them for whenever you want to stop by, cleans more regularly now that he knows there’s a possibility of you coming over and knows the mess bothers you. He even buys the specific brand of pads you prefer and keeps them in his bathroom for you.

Eventually you meet his friends, immediately getting along with Benny and joining him in teasing his brother, Will, and seeing you vibing with his friends makes Santiago’s heart soar. He realizes he loves you, loves how much of an effort you make with him and his chosen family, he loves how you listen patiently to him when he struggles to form the words he wants to say to communicate better, and he especially loves how much you smile on a daily basis. You kind of fell in love the moment you met in the grocery aisle but you’ve been waiting for him to say it first, and he does, when he takes you home that night 🥰