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Destiel, Supernatural // Friday I'm in Love, The Cure
#This didn't turn out quite how I wanted#Especially the first four#Bad quality images + my gallery blurring the text + tumblr ruining image quality = blurriness and lack of quality#Supernatural#Spn#Destiel#Deancad#Dean winchester#Castiel#the cure#friday i'm in love#Perplexed confusion original post
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getting emotional over footage of an amateur scuba diver interacting with a coelacanth. they are hunted by large deepwater predators, and here comes a large creature bearing the brightest lights it's ever seen, making strange noises, but it does not shy away. it hovers, calmly, as the diver reaches out and trails a hand down its back. im strongly against the anthropomorphizing of real life animals but the stupid emotional part of me loudly insists this is because it recognizes us, the alternating movements of its four paired limbs matching the diver's four paired limbs, & it is thinking, "hello, cousins, we missed you these 66 million years, it's so good to see you again. welcome back, welcome home."
#[OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: he should NOT have touched the fish. do NOT touch random fish you find while scuba diving#especially if the fish is 6ft long & has sharp teeth#ESPECIALLY if the fish is a critically endangered species#being overwhelmed by the majesty of the coelcanth is understandable but that does not excuse his behavior]#[obligatory disclaimer 2: i know nothing about this guy; by 'amateur' i just mean he wasnt part of a scientific expedition at the time]#[obligatory disclaimer 3: i mean it wasnt CALM. its first dorsal fin was erect which we have reason to believe means it is on edge.#but it didnt flee like you would expect of a wild animal]#...disclaimers over. now im going to wail about how life began in the sea and we left & they stayed#& we thought they were gone & now we're finding our way back home to them#they are so beautiful and they are our family and they love us ok. they do i know it in my heart#coelacanth#Latimeria chalumnae#animals#andy original#ALSO I KNOW THEY HAVE 8 FINS by four paired limbs i mean the pelvic and pectoral the others arent paired they dont move like legs do
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my genuine reaction watching batman beat the ever loving fuck out of Jason in under the red hood when the only other batfam media I know is wayne family adventures
#im aware wfa is fanmade but like. i had severe delusions of bruce's ability as a dad#he threw him face first against all four walls and then the TOILET. die you bitch!!!#lego batman wouldnt have done this#im trying to get into more dc especially batman/batfam. im not really into comics and i prefer animation#but if anyone wants to send some recs my way id really appreciate it. especially some where bruce is nice!!#jason todd#red hood#batman#under the red hood#dc#beth.txt
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bruce 'tired single dad' wayne: *lecturing jason once again on something he did during a fight*
jason 'theatre kid extraodinare'' todd who immediately starts fake crying on the spot: do you just not love me anymore?
#dc comics#dc universe#dcu#batman#red hood#batfamily#batfam#bruce wayne#bruce thomas wayne#jason todd#jason peter todd#jason was never the angry robin#yeah bruce is weak to his children crying but especially jason#if jason can puke on command you best believe he can convincingly fake cry too#what's the point of having trauma if you can't use it to stop your dad from lecturing you?#bruce folds on the spot when jason cries which is why jason doesn't cry that often (jason doesn't want his secret weapon to lose effect)#most of the time jason just owns up to the things he did#so there really isn't any point in lecturing him because jason doesn't care about consequences#the first time jason fake cried in front of bruce after his death he was shocked at how it still worked#the reason why it works so well is because bruce thought jason was dead for around four years and grieved him for so long
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OP: Check out. The fully-sexual charged cinematic movement design.
Cnetizens: How did the director come up with the idea to have him kneel on a playing card, adding so much aesthetic energy, is that some kind of genius?
#china#cdramas#dramas#lmao#They are siblings and they're discussing serious matters#this scene is actually rather heavy because the younger brother is involved in drug trafficking#carrying more than 50 grams of heroin will result in a death sentence in china let alone being involved in drug trafficking#the older brother is a gangster king#but even he doesn't dare to get involved in the drug business because it will bring about the demise of his family#sorry for digression I mean how did the director make this scene which has absolutely nothing to do with sex#so sexually charged?#btw there're many posts with rich information about China's crackdown on drug crimes on xhs and douyin#especially about how the four major drug-trafficking families in Myanmar were wiped out overnight#they buried undercover Chinese counter-narcotics police alive and kidnapped and brutally excuted civilians#so if you're interested you can go with the key words 缅甸四大家族覆灭 on xhs and douyin#cnetizens' views on drugs are related to modern Chinese history#the first chapter of modern history in high school textbooks is the opium wars#There's a very dark joke on xhs about which country in the world would least like China to withdraw from the P5#and the answer is the UK#because it's in the first chapter of China's modern history#the Destruction of opium at Humen in 1839#no offence but Breaking Bad can't last for more than one episode if it happens in china because of the sewer detection technology#they can detect the tiniest amount of drugs in feces in a body of water the size of a lake for up to six months#which can be quickly locked down to neighbourhoods and portals#Once a foreigner was caught smuggling and selling 222.035 kg drugs in China and sentenced to death with two other Chinese associates#his country's prime minister asked for his extradition#cnetizens commented that there was an opium war and he still dare to come to China to sell drugs be like 找死court death#All the above information is to explain the gangster king's attitude towards his brother's drug business
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today, my coworkers’ refusal to see me as a man put one of our patients in a position where they felt unsafe for the third time. i’ve been at this job for less than two months total. i don’t even care about getting misgendered anymore, i just want the people we’re supposed to be taking care of to feel comfortable around me.
i work at a hospital where we have to supervise our patients in a lot of vulnerable situations. there are safeguarding rules in place for certain things that male employees aren’t allowed to be present for when it comes to female patients. and yet, the people training me and telling me what to do have repeatedly put me in situations where i’ve been forced to do things that the female patients aren’t comfortable with me doing. and because they have repeatedly failed to teach me the rules for doing my job as a man, i have no way of knowing when i’m crossing one of those lines unless one of the patients tells me.
i’ve had to watch a victim of SA stare at me in abject terror as my coworkers asked her to strip naked with me still in the room. it took several minutes for her to even be able to speak enough to ask if i could leave the room. i found out after that she broke down crying the moment i walked out. my biggest regret is that i didn’t realize what was happening fast enough to leave before she ever had to say something, because she shouldn’t have had to say it. i never should’ve been allowed in the room in the first place, because that’s not something male employees are supposed to be present for. but i didn’t know that yet, because i was training and i thought surely, they wouldn’t train me to do something that directly violated their own safeguarding rules. that moment was the first time, and it’s haunted me ever since, but it wasn’t the last time. not only did it happen for the third time today — it almost happened for the fourth, and would have if someone hadn’t spoken up to say they should pick someone else. i care for these people so deeply, it’s why i took this job, and i’m so tired of hearing the fear in their voices when they have to ask me not to do something i never should’ve been told to do.
i’m very used to the personal discomfort of being misgendered. i willingly deal with it a lot at work as well as in other situations, not because i’m in the closet (at this point in my medical transition that would be impossible), but because it’s such a frequent occurrence with my coworkers that we would never get anything done if i took the time to correct them every time. but to see it get to the point of causing such visceral discomfort in other people? people i’m supposed to be taking care of and keeping safe? that’s something else entirely, and i’m fucking exhausted.
and after all of that, some of them still look at me like i have two heads when they tell me what to do and i say “i can’t do that, only female employees can” because i’m learning now. clearly i’m already seen as a man by our patients, but my coworkers would still rather put them in an unsafe situation than just train me as a man.
#to be clear it’s four different things they’ve asked me to do that im not supposed to#as soon as i find out about one rule they ask me to violate a different one that i didn’t know about#i will never ever forget that girl’s face and i��ll never stop being angry for her#for all three of them but especially her#i hate my coworkers for a million different reasons#the patients are the only reason i didn’t quit this job after the first day#i just want to do right by them and sometimes it feels like i’m the only one working there who does#it kills me because the patients who know im trans have been so great about it too#most of them know nothing about trans people but they’re so willing to learn and so respectful and we’ve had such great conversations#they’re getting fucked over by someone else’s transphobia when they themselves don’t have a single transphobic bone in their bodies#i hate this place because i care about the people in it too much to stand by the way it treats them and it’s killing me#transandrophobia#transandromisia#transmisandry#virilmisia#virilphobia#anti transmasculinity#transmascphobia
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Genshin Guys with an S/O on their Period: Waking up with a Mess and Cramps Edition (Diluc, Kaeya, Neuvillette, Itto)
A/N: Now that I can do more than curl up on the couch letting the heating pad do it's job kind of here we go.
Do we even know what period products people on Teyvat use? And have they even invented Midol? Like, what does a Teyvat medicine cabinet look like?
CW: mentions of blood because period, duh, hurt/comfort
Diluc x fem!reader, Kaeya x fem!reader, Neuvillette x fem!reader, Itto x fem!reader
Requests are OPEN
Diluc
Diluc is a heaven send at a time like this, no doubt it
The man is on it
Let's say he comes home from some Mondstadt batman-ing and goes to curl up in bed with you
Only to find you asleep, but curled up in pain and a growing red spot on the sheets
Thanks be to Adelinde for making sure he's not clueless about female issues. If he didn't know anything before dating you, she made sure he had an idea clue after
He wakes you up, gently, and helps you get to the bathroom so he can help clean you up, while Adelinde (who makes a habit of staying up when Diluc does his vigilante thing) makes sure the sheets are changed and gets you whatever pain relief Mondstadt has available
After you're clean and have whatever products you use on, you go back to bed and he curls up behind you. He uses his vision to warm his hands and uses them as a hot pad for you
Let's be real, you don't get better than a pyro vision for dealing with cramps
Kaeya
Kaeya is not quite as good as Diluc (mostly because of his vision, lol)
In this case he has the decency to not tease and poke fun. Even if he didn't know that doing so would result in his premature death, he actually feels sympathy
When he wakes up next to you, finding you curled up and nearly crying, he's momentarily very concerned. After all, his pretty little s/o is in pain and that just won't do
A quick once over and he spots the blood pooling between your legs and the concern subsides. This isn't the first time this has happened, especially if you're not possessed of a clock-work cycle, though your cramps usually aren't this bad
Because both of you are familiar with this routine, he''s got a lot of stuff on hand. Like Diluc, he makes sure you wake up and get cleaned up while he changes sheets and runs to pester Barbara about something to help the cramps. Again, he doesn't have the advantage of a pyro vision
If he has a mission that day, he does it as quick as possible, but if he just has paper work, he carries that shit home and does it while taking care of you
He wants you to focus on not hurting, so any chores you would do he takes over (it gives him a way to avoid paperwork, lol)
Neuvillette
I'm not saying Neuvie would freak, the first time this happened, but yeah, the man freaks the fuck out
I mean, dragon boy doesn't spend that much time in close proximity to human females. He conceivably is fully unaware of what exactly a period entails.
When you wake up cursing and hissing in pain, which wakes him up in the process, he's genuinely scared for you
After all, you look like you're in huge amounts of pain and that's blood on the sheets. It takes you several minutes to calm Neuvie down, to make sure than he's not blowing things too far out of proportion
Eventually you manage to enlist his help cleaning up. He's perfectly happy to give a little help making sure the bloodstains on your thighs are gone and changing the sheets
He still calls one of the Melusine nurses. A) you're in pain and that's unacceptable to him and b) he's still not 100% certain that you're OK
You roll your eyes, but it does hurt and I'm not sure what kind of over the counter period relief Teyvat has. Either way, you'll have something that might help
After the Melusine leaves, you pull him back to bed and cuddle while you explain female biology in depth. First time a 500 year old dragon has had to take sex-ed lol
Once you're done he feels a little embarrassed over his overreaction
Needless to say, your next period goes much smoother. Once he's aware of the issue, he does some research on his own, talks to some other girls about ways to make it easier (basically being a stand up, super loyal boyfriend.n outstanding boyfriend)
Eventually the entire ordeal is something the two of you will laugh over
Itto
I rarely write for Itto, but I think the idea of Itto seeing the period mess and cramps would be kinda funny. At least from the outside. I would not want to be the s/o in this situation. It's a mess
He thinks the world is ending. Blows it waaaay out of proportion, and unlike Neuvie, he doesn't really listen.
Once you convince him you're not dying, he thinks you're the absolute coolest for being able to bleed every month and be in that much pain and not die
You might have to stop him from trying to "join his most awesome girlfriend ". Like, if you're so cool for this, obviously the One and Oni must be able to as well? Right.
You immediately call Shinobu because, "No. Itto. You have a dick. If you try and bleed like this. you'll die."
You and Shinobu stop him from trying to have a period too, because he'd try...somehow, and send him on basic errands or something. Anything to distract him.
Honestly, I feel like dealing with Itto's...whatever he has going on...would be more exhausting than the period and cramps
In this situation, Shinobu is your girl. She is prepared, both with the ability to redirect Itto and whatever you don't have on hand in case of mess and cramps
#Of the four Diluc and Kaeya are the easiest to deal with#Especially the first time#After the first time neuvie's up there too#I wonder if there's anyway he could use his hydro to help#warm hydro massager?#I dunno#period hcs#Diluc#diluc x reader#diluc x fem!reader#diluc hcs#Kaeya#kaeya x reader#kaeya x fem!reader#kaeya hcs#Neuvillette#neuvillette x reader#neuvillette x fem!reader#neuvillette hcs#arataki itto#itto x reader#itto x fem!reader#itto hcs#genshin impact#genshin impact hcs#genshin hcs#tw: blood
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In regards to Hunter being Caleb Grimwalker #50, I'm counting from the first "Successful" Grimwalker (Adam Rhys Wittebane). If we're counting the ones that died before they were "born", then Hunter would be Caleb Grimwalker #54.
I'll probably post the full bio later, but here's a few things about Raven Empress!Hunter.
💛First Prince of the Boiling Isles
💛He's Caleb Grimwalker #50 (and he doesn't know he's a Grimwalker, or his brothers, for that matter)
💛His full name is Hunter Dell Clawthorne (Born: Hunter Caleb Wittebane)
💛100% a Mama's boy
💛Dating Edric Blight
💛His birthday is on 26 July, and he's actually 16
💛His favorite colors are red and gold
💛Lilith is actually his mom (via adoption), and Eda is his aunt
💛Doesn't know that his cousin is a baby god
💛He goes by he/they pronouns
#raven empress au#hunter wittebane#hunter dell clawthorne#adam wittebane#belos does consider the first four grimwalkers he created to be failures#because they died before they fully formed#so he doesn't really count them#he started counting with adam#don't worry i don't consider any of them as failures#especially the first four#toh spoilers#toh au spoilers
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And they were neighbors...
#michael sheen#welsh seduction machine#david tennant#soft scottish hipster gigolo#staged#or 'Brokeback Mount Him' which is what i am referring to staged as from here on out#i know these promo pics are from four years ago and edited#but why does this now feel like foreshadowing#Michael looking like he's glancing back at David in the first one is especially sending me#and they were neighbors#echoes of the past into the present#they are perfect together your honor#very very married#ineffable lovers#amazing
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#joong is so annoying (affectionate) ✨
#first kanaphan#khaotung thanawat#joong archen#firstkhao#firstkhaotung#the heart killers cast#the fact that this video is out of focus is driving me mad#anyways the dynamic between all four of them is gonna be FUNNNN#especially since jd are rather fanservice heavy but in a very broey way which is hella entertaining#also it helps that joong is just a naturally touchy person which is something i relate to so much lol#i'm very much looking forward to all the content we are going to get in the next couple of months#my edits
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My Connection Lost Comm of White Fang Members by @ogariane
#blake belladonna#ghira belladonna#adam taurus#sienna khan#rwby#art#<3#Was nervous as it was my first time commissioning someone to draw four people but the process was very smooth thanks to the artist ^^'#& they did such a great job. They took my changes and applied all of them. There were a lot (From switched poses/images to added colour)#(I especially love the different styles of the tvs and the tvs they're holding are blurry yet they themselves are crystal clear)#I thought it'd be nice to portray how adam and blake were once connected to each other and ghira/sienna but have since lost that connection#as they each form their own core ideas/values of what the faunus should do in the face of discrimination and how best to assist their peopl#Small tidbit: The TVs they're sitting on as foundation are meant to represent the previous faunus leaders who had their signals cut off.#(The white fang may have been founded by Ghira but with how far away the war/revolution and creation of the faunus. . . there had to have#been other leaders before him).
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I have been going through Akira Himekawa's Twitter, trying to salvage Four Swords -related content before the site completely collapses in on itself, and...
Guys.
Guys.
The original sketch of what would become the inside cover of the Legendary Edition was posted on the first day of Pride Month.
#this is the sort of thing - along with the rainbow pointing at Vio's head in the manga - that I'm not going to say HAD to be intentional#because I don't know enough about Japan's LGBTQ+ community to say that it would have the same significance there (especially 10+ years ago)#but it sure is a fun coincidence isn't it?#four swords#vidow#vio link#shadow link#first and forever otp#four swords manga#akira himekawa
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And then, Henry is holding them really tight, more for his security than theirs, and he walks out of the dungeon (ep 42)
I cannot be the only one who cried when the twins climbed Henry and sat on his shoulders like two loving pauldrons 🥺
#I am NOT ready for the next episode#also he is so strong for carrying two 12 year-olds like that#and now some design notes yayy#the string visible under Henry's shirt is a necklace with the birthstones of the four of them (he tucks it under his shirt to keep it safe)#Lark is on Henry's right shoulder and Sparrow's on his left if it's unclear (you can barely see the ends of their tattoos)#I think the twins have had different haircuts throughout their lives to keep things simple for their parents#after the events of S1 Lark buzzed his hair to further himself from Henry and Sparrow let his grow out (I'm working on their S2 designs rn)#Lark has a black toe from kicking something too hard#Sparrow and him used to have matching bead bracelets but Lark's got ripped during the pyramid incident#Sparrow offered him his but Lark wouldn't take it#also these trees do not look like oaks and especially not the same one but it was so ugly when I tried to do that so shhh#this was actually my first dndads fanart but it was left in my sketchbook for MONTHS before I decided to digitalize it...#so I actually sketched it the moment I heard the ep and before Deck Picks which makes me lose it#anyway!#my art#dndads#dungeons and daddies#dndads s1#dndaddies#dndads odyssey#henry oak#sparrow oak#lark oak#sparrow oak garcia#lark oak garcia
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A rushed shitpost (?) thing
No purpursweep for @characterswithcolorsnamesfight's tournament hasn’t taken over my braincells shuddup
You don’t wanna know how much fun I had making this, just know it was too much fun
#geronimo stilton#thea sisters#thea stilton#tournament poll#mini comic#colornames battle#fanart#this was done in one night so if parts of it look wonky that’s why#i cannot draw my chibis really fast to save my life#ESPECIALLY NOT FIVE OF THEM o<-<#but hey I did it LMAO let’s get purpursweep into round four guys#at the very least get her to round four it’ll be funny#because vi prolly doesn’t use tumblr much she’s the last to know about it#paulina was the first to discover it#then she told nicky#pam found out about it on her own#pam told colette as an offhanded comment one morning#colette was heartbroken that her vi and evergarden had to square up but she was pleasantly surprised her vi won#she found the fact that vi’s next competitor is a nostalgic little legoman hilarious
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YiZhan Same Shirt To Dispel Your Existential Dread
#yizhan#wang yibo#xiao zhan#wangxiao#just… you know… when they wear the same shirt#and I’m not talking about matching shirts. I’m talking about the SAME shirt. The exact same garment.#this has happened more than once. this has happened more than the four times I’ve listed here.#and it’s not just shirts. it’s all sorts of clothing. of course they have matching pieces too. coordinating brand looks etc#but there’s something very charming about them wearing each other’s shirts. especially when they KNOW we have seen it on the other one first#i love them your honor
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Arceus Forbid Women Do Anything
Chapter 1/3 | 2,254 words | Rated T
Commandment I: Gaslight
The challenger met the Champion’s intelligent gaze and quickly looked away. They knew what they needed to tell her, they knew that it was important, but in the awe of the moment they couldn’t help but ask— “So you’ve met Lord Volo?” She seemed unsurprised by the question. The challenger supposed that it must have been asked many times before. “I am his Champion, yes.”
Read the full chapter on AO3 or under the cut:
The challenger approached the Champion of Hisui atop Mount Coronet. The Spear Pillar Temple was strangely decrepit for a holy place, where it was said that the Lord of Hisui himself convened with his most beloved mortal creation.
The title of Champion was highly sought by the wielders of Hisui, who longed to impress their almighty deity. Some even spoke of immortality as a reward, to say nothing of the material gifts and fate’s favor. But for as long as the current Champion had held the position—which was to say, the entire recorded history of the region—she had never once been bested in battle.
But that, the challenger knew, would change today.
The Champion stood at the very edge of the temple ruins, staring out at the sky as if frozen in a perpetual state of deep thought. The challenger immediately recognized the colors and styling of her attire as those of the Lord in his most traditional depictions. Fine white silks were artfully draped around her form, and she was adorned from head to toe with emeralds and gold. Her hair flowed in the breeze, only slightly flattened by the ornate diadem on her head.
“Do you wish to challenge the Champion of Hisui?” she asked, causing the challenger to sharply inhale. The woman did not face them, and clearly did not plan to do so without a formal conversation.
“I wish to speak with the Champion of Hisui,” the challenger said, forcing their voice to steady. “There is something that she—you—ought to know.”
The Champion turned around at that, revealing the face of a woman who most certainly did not age naturally. In fact, she appeared to be not much older than the challenger—but of course, appearances could be deceiving.
“I will admit,” said the woman with a slight smile, “that is a new one.”
The challenger blinked. They had not expected such a casual composure from the Champion of Hisui—although, their expectations had admittedly been imprecise. There were plenty of rumors regarding the Champion’s personality throughout the region, and much speculation regarding her team of pokémon, but there had never once been a challenger who had returned with the memory of what they’d experienced. It was common knowledge that when it came to Spear Pillar, the only way to leave with a tale to tell would be to best this woman in battle. Otherwise challengers could expect to return bewildered, collected at the foot of the mountain by rangers patrolling the area.
“Very well,” said the Champion, gracefully rearranging her silks as she sat on the small stairway leading to her former perch. It seemed bizarre for her to lower herself in front of her challenger, until she motioned for them to the do the same.
“Evening the battlefield,” she explained with slight humor as they took their place beside her.
The challenger met the Champion’s intelligent gaze and quickly looked away. They knew what they needed to tell her, they knew that it was important, but in the awe of the moment they couldn’t help but ask—
“So you’ve met Lord Volo?”
She seemed unsurprised by the question. The challenger supposed that it must have been asked many times before.
“I am his Champion, yes.”
A chill ran down the challenger’s spine. His.
“Is he watching us now?”
She tilted her head slightly, and the challenger regretted the tactlessness of their words.
“This is the holiest place known to humankind and pokémon alike,” the Champion said. “I should hope that the Lord is watching.”
The challenger had been warned of this. They took a deep breath.
“I know the history of this world,” they said, “and I know that we are meant to believe it.”
“History?”
“That this world of peace was created from the ashes of another; an irredeemable and infernal world, which had fallen as a result of its own wickedness.”
The Champion nodded. “That is the truth.”
“But I don’t think it is,” said the challenger, nerves increasing with every word. “You have to listen to me, please. I have heard the voice of the old world’s creator, and it has told me the truth.”
“You… what?” The Champion appeared genuinely surprised by this. Distressed, even.
“The old creator was subjugated by the Lord,” the challenger explained frantically, needing to get the words out before said Lord lowered himself from the heavens to intervene. They would face Volo, of course, on behalf of this region’s true deity—but not before freeing the innocent Champion from her Lord’s deceptions.
“A single mortal—the Hero of Hisui, blessed by the original creator—once served as the protector of its divinity. The man you call Lord Volo weakened them, defeated them in battle, and ultimately seized the god’s power by force. He used it to erase that entire world and imprison the true creator’s physical manifestation, taking its place and wielding its abilities himself.”
The Champion did not appear convinced. “But what of the Hero? Was she erased?”
“According to my god,” said the challenger, “they fell.”
“How interesting.”
“But that doesn’t matter now,” the challenger insisted, reaching for the woman’s finely-adorned wrists. “What matters is that you get out of here. He’s going to come down and I’m going to fight him, and it’s going to be dangerous for anyone without godly powers behind them. You don’t deserve to get hurt, when all you’ve done is loyally serve a Lord who does not deserve your fealty. So please believe me, and abandon this temple while you still can.”
It only took one look at the Champion’s face to know that the challenger had failed. Her expression was now stern as she rose to her feet.
“I will not tolerate such blasphemy,” she said, reaching within her silks for a strange-looking pokéball. The challenger narrowed their eyes at the thing—was it wooden?
“I’m telling the truth,” the challenger said, removing their own pokéball from their belt. “Arceus told me in my dreams!”
Something shifted in the woman’s expression at the sound of the true deity’s name. “Arceus does not exist,” she said, releasing her opening pokémon: a samurott.
The challenger decided to engage in the battle, if only to continue the conversation and potentially delay Lord Volo’s arrival. They released their opening pokémon and watched, in horror, as the Champion’s samurott defeated it with a single move.
The challenger took another deep breath and released their next pokémon, whose perfect type match would almost certainly return the favor.
“And even if it were true,” the Champion said, “even if my Lord did not simply create this world from ashes, but set the fire himself… do you not believe that a peaceful world is worth creating?” She replaced her fainted samurott with a typhlosion as if it were an afterthought.
“Not if it took the erasure of an entire world, just because it wasn’t perfect!” the challenger argued, their second pokémon falling just like the last.
“The Lord appreciates the world as it is,” said the Champion, motioning to the decrepit temple surrounding them. “If he were determined to destroy every imperfection, would we still have ancient ruins?”
The challenger sent out their next pokémon. “I don’t care about ancient ruins.”
The Champion shook her head condescendingly as she collected her fainted typhlosion and released a decidueye. “Well, Lord Volo would certainly be displeased to hear that.”
“I’m not here to impress Lord Volo, I’m here to fight him!” Another one of the challenger’s pokémon, done. That was half of their team.
“I’m afraid you will have to defeat his Champion first.”
They took out her decidueye. In response, she sent out a pokémon that the challenger did not recognize—a small black figure made of thick lines, almost resembling the written character L.
“You might as well take that now,” said the Champion, as a smirk tugged at the corner of her lips. How could she not see that the entire world was at stake here? If Lord Volo continued to spread his lies, if Arceus could not be returned to its former power, then—then, it would be bad!
“This isn’t a game,” the challenger spat, taking a turn to heal their nearly-fallen fourth pokémon. This was their fastest one by far, and the unfamiliar pokémon seemed to be the Champion’s weakest, so hopefully—
The challenger’s fourth pokémon fainted.
This was not part of the plan.
“Arceus told me to get you out of here,” the challenger told the Champion. “Those were its explicit instructions.”
“Ah,” said the Champion, “so you weren’t prepared for a fight with me. Just with my Lord.”
She watched him with amusement. She understood, then, that even if they managed to beat her team, they would be entering a battle with an actual deity with a single conscious pokémon.
“Unfair, isn’t it?” she taunted, and the challenger could not believe they’d mistaken her as kind.
Who was this woman, anyway? The Lord’s Champion from the dawn of this world’s existence, almost certainly immortal and incredibly skilled as a pokémon wielder…
Their mind still racing, the challenger only half-paid attention as they took out the Champion’s unknown pokémon. In its place, she sent out a togekiss.
A togekiss.
It made no sense. The challenger’s jaw dropped. “But only Lord Volo has—”
“I wield her on weekends,” the Champion said, as the world’s most sacred creature destroyed the challenger’s fifth pokémon.
There was something in her eyes now that the challenger hadn’t noticed before. It frightened them. Arceus had not warned them about this, it had only insisted that they get her out of way—
“Wait,” said the challenger, hesitating to send out their final pokémon. “She.”
The Champion raised an eyebrow, resting a hand on her hip. “She?”
“When you referred to Arceus’s fallen Hero, you called them a ‘she.’”
The Champion crossed her arms over her chest, confusion turning to delight. “I did,” she confirmed with a patronizing smile.
The challenger froze.
“I did not appreciate it,” the Champion told them, “when you called me weak.”
The challenger narrowed their eyes. “So he did defeat you.”
She did not scowl, or even wince. She almost appeared proud. “Send out your final pokémon,” she told the challenger, “and I will show you defeat.”
Togekiss chirped happily and spun in the air. The challenger prayed to Arceus as they released their final fighter: the first pokémon they had ever wielded, entrusted to them more than a decade ago.
Togekiss defeated it with a flick of a wing.
The Champion tutted pityingly as she walked closer, recalling Togekiss and reaching for her final pokéball. “Now, don’t be too hard on yourself,” she said as a pokémon emerged at her feet.
The challenger narrowed their eyes, unsure what to make of the strange misshapen figure. “But you’ve already won the battle—”
The Champion sighed, beleaguered, as the challenger became transfixed by her spiritomb’s magic. “But seemingly, still not the war.” The challenger could barely hear her final words before losing focus completely:
“Send Arceus my regards. I look forward to meeting its next challenger.”
And then everything faded to white.
─────────────────
The Lord Volo’s realm was abundant in daylight. Unless, of course, he wished for it to be nighttime—then the only light came from the brilliance of the stars, arranged into elaborate images of his choosing.
He rested his cheek on his palm, smiling adoringly as his Champion approached his throne.
“Tough day at the office?” he teased, using the modern terminology she had taught him by the light of countless campfires.
She did not kneel, nor did he expect such behavior from his beloved Champion. Instead, she dropped herself right into his lap.
“We should really put a bench down there or something,” she said, playing with the hair of a god as if it were a child’s toy. “The steps are rather uncomfortable.”
“Very well,” Volo smirked, and then snapped. “Done.”
He did not actually need to snap, to create a bench atop Mount Coronet. But Volo had always been one for dramatics.
“Show-off,” said the Champion as she kissed Volo’s lips. The slight change of angle allowed him a cheeky squeeze of her clothed flesh, a brush of long fingers along her waist, and of course one mustn’t forget the chest—
“Don’t you want to know how it went?” the Champion asked, doing absolutely nothing to stop Volo’s exploration.
He smiled and hummed into the skin of her neck, feeling the coolness of her jewelry against his cheek. “Let me guess,” he said between kisses and nips, “you won the battle?”
“Always,” the Champion said, gripping Volo’s hair and pulling him closer. “Well, almost always.”
He recognized the slight self-deprecation in her voice and bit more harshly. Her noise of combined pain and pleasure was a hymn to his ears.
Volo pulled back slightly to meet his Champion’s eyes, brushing a few stray strands of hair behind her ear. “Well then, my fallen Hero…” He adjusted the pendant around her neck, the first gift of many from her Lord, so it rested exactly where he wished it to be. “Why don’t you show me how you live in defeat?”
She picked up his suggestive tone and returned it tenfold. “Anything for my Lord,” said the Champion of Hisui, reaching for a particular point of interest beneath Volo’s deific attire.
“You endure with such grace,” Volo praised, running a gentle hand through her hair. The Champion sighed softly and relaxed against her true Lord, far from the outsider Arceus had attempted to make her.
And indeed, it was good.
#this is SOOOOOOO. sooo. so.#first of all if you've read my work for other fandoms especially four swords you'll know that this is SOOOOOOOO on brand#also i say this in the author's note on ao3 but lucy saxon from doctor who was a huge influence here and i love her#i hope people like this au/story because it's ridiculous and i'm having fun :) and there is nothing wrong with me :)#my writing#volo#volo pokemon#volo x reader#pla
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