#especially since she's connected to another oc i've been meaning to write
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Look look i'm finally writting my ghoul OC !!! She's very important to me, so if anyone cares, here she is ! Meet Clicks !
Clicks yawns, certain by the concerned look the sister passing her by sends her that her jaw, as flexible as a snake's, looks dislocated. It's been a long day, all six of her eyes heavy-lidded as she trudges toward the ghouls' wing, rubbing her buzzed hair absent-mindedly. Assigning her to roof maintenance is logical, given Clicks' taste for high perches and the pair of huge leathery wings carrying her effortlessly through the air. Much less risky than sending a human up there, fragile lifeline easily severed by one nasty fall.
And really, Clicks likes her job. She likes the burn of pleasant exhaustion after a day of effort, she likes crouching on the very edge of roofs to watch people going about their lives beneath, she likes feeling the wind wrap around her, a playful companion to her lonely work. She doesn't mind being alone, either. She doesn't. Her job is great, and it's okay that she hasn't talked once today. It's okay that her back aches from having to keep her heavy wings unglamored, a safety net if she were to slip. It's okay that she snatched something to eat from the kitchens, too late to share a meal with any other ghoul. It's okay.
It's okay, until Clicks rounds a corner without paying attention and walks straight into Omega.
He makes a little huffing sound, startled, but immediately grabs her elbow to stabilize her. He doesn't flinch at the sound her rattlesnake tail makes as it instinctively shakes in warning, nor at the serie of threatening tongue clicks she makes, the very sames that gave her her name. Instead, he frowns, alarmed by her violent reaction, eyes searching her face.
"Easy, Clicks. Easy, it's just me. Are you okay ?"
She is, now that the adrenaline rush from the surprise is coming down, and she opens her mouth to say so, but Omega's hand is still on her elbow. Thumb tracing absent-minded circles over the runes inked in grey skin. It's like Clicks' mind zeroed in on the sensation, achingly aware of it. She wants him to stop. She never wants him to pull away. Shit.
"Clicks."
Another hand reaches for her, cups the back of her head, drags her into a firm embrace, and it's like a damn broke. He smells like something fizzy and magical, like quintessence, like hope. Clicks sags into Omega after half a second of stiffness, clinging to him like he's the only thing keeping her together. Omega always had this power, since the moment he took the time to wrap a fluffy blanket around the shoulders of an air and earth hybrid ghoulette that wasn't meant for music and greatness, just another creature summoned to help with trivial tasks.
But Omega is there for all of the new ghouls, knows even the most avoidant ones by name, always keeps an eye out for the loners who hover at the outskirts of the pack, never daring to bond any further with the darling band ghouls, the crown jewels of the ministry. Clicks is one of those recluse, always staying distant with said band ghouls, but she admitedly has two exceptions. One of them is currently rocking her back and forth, shushing her softly. The second, well. She's not sure she wants to know what Alpha's up to that late.
Omega runs his hand along Clicks back- and immediately hisses when he reaches the painful knot she spent hours ignoring, just under her right shoulderblade.
"Shit, Clicks, that has to hurt."
She sighs in agreement, nuzzling her face in his shoulder, his scent surrounding her. Safe. She is safe.
"Can you...quintessence it the fuck away ?"
Clicks feels Omega's soft chuckle more than she hears it as he carefully brushes against the sore spot in her back, assessing the damages.
"Mmh, I can. Let's get you to your room, yeah ?"
The rest of the walk back is much nicer, despite Clicks' still exacerbated feelings and the pain radiating from her back. The occasional light knocking of her shoulder against Omega's - or rather, the quint's bulky arm, tall fucker- is comforting, as is the tail loosely wrapped around her waist. In her solitary routine, Clicks forgot how soothing this quiet kind of company could be.
Omega slows to a stop as they pass the cracked open door of the common room. There's a vaguely familiar ghoul lounging on the couch, throwing a ball as high as they can and catching it back before it can smash against their face. Omega's eyes fly from them to Clicks, a thoughtful crease appearing between his eyebrows.
"A fire ghoul might help with your back. It would make the whole ordeal more comfortable, less artificial for your body. I would call for Alpha but he is...busy. Would you mind me asking someone else ?"
Clicks shuffles a bit. It's not that she doesn't like people, it's just that she's bad at meeting new ones, awkward in a way that makes her want to crawl out of her own skin when she thinks back on every social interactions she had. She comes off either as cold, or weird, and either way, it's often just too embarrassing to be worth it. But above all, she trusts Omega. So, she nods tentatively, the quint turing toward the ghoul on the couch.
"Ifrit !"
The ghoul in question jolts, yanked out of his thoughts by the call. The ball he was playing with hits him on the forehead, which he only reacts to with a startled shake of head and a frankly adorable nose scrunch. He smiles, open and easy, once he catches sight of Omega, who gestures for him to join him.
"On me."
Ifrit is quick to saunter over to them, peering curiously at Clicks with a questioning trill. Omega smoothes a hand on the nape of his neck, gently knocking their horns together.
"Ifrit, this is Clicks-"
"Hey, I know you," Ifrit interrupts, tail starting to wag as he tilts his head toward Clicks, "you're the ghoulette who's always up on the rooftops, right ?"
Clicks blinks slowly, one pair of eyes at a time, taken aback. After a too long pause, she takes the hand Ifrit is offering, and shakes it as firmly as she can.
"...yeah, that's me. You're, ah. An ex guitarist, right ?"
Ifrit chuckles easily, shaking black strands of hair away from his face.
"Well, technically still a guitarist, just, not touring with the band anymore. So, what can I do...?"
The fire ghoul turns back toward Omega with a question in his eyes. The quint hums.
"Clicks' back is giving her shit, I'm guessing because of the weight of her wings. I need you to help loosening the muscles before I go in with quintessence, or else it might be a bit brutal. Think you can do that ?"
Ifrit nods enthusiastically, like there's nothing else he'd rather do than help some ghoulette he just met with her everyday aches. She feels a bit like they're overreacting ; the pain is annoying, but it isn't that bad, right ? She can still somewhat work, and it only hurts real bad when she moves. But they're leading her to her room, hellbent (ha !) on fixing it for her. Clicks feels strangely warm, trotting between the two big ghouls in the long hallways so typical of the Ministry's buildings. Must be the natural heat Ifrit's oozing. Surely.
Apparently having an endless social battery, the fire ghoul leans toward Clicks, that curious glint still there in his eyes.
"So, you got wings ? Like an air ghoul ?"
It feels a bit weird, this almost stranger displaying genuine interest in such a detail, but there doesn't seem to be any ill intentions behind it, so Clicks decides to indulge him.
"Yeah. But, not feathery. More like a bat, I guess ? They're pretty huge, so I keep them glamored when I don't work."
She hesitates, before returning a question of her own.
"...is it normal for you to be glowing ?"
Ifrit blinks, taken aback, before looking at the wide expense of his chest, barely covered by his filmsy tank top, blushing when he takes in the soft orange light swirling under his skin.
"...oh," he sighs, bashfull, "...yeah. I mean, kinda. It gets that way when i'm excited."
Clicks tilts her head, amused. Cute.
"It's also a mating thing," Omega chimes in with a mischievious smile, "supposed to attract partners."
"Mega-" Ifrit whines, now deeply embarrassed, the tip of his ears flushing, "don't listen to him, that's not all it's for, it doesn't mean-"
Clicks really can't help her chuckle and, after a short consideration, bumps shoulders with him.
"I know, I know. Mostly an emotional thing, got it. I just asked because Alpha doesn't do that."
Ifrit perks up as Clicks, having finally reached her room, unlocks the door and flicks only the string lights on.
"You know the old- wow."
Ifrit cuts himself off as he takes in the inside of Clicks' bedroom. The shelves full of strange trinkets, the many curious potted plants stuffed everywhere they fit, the display where are lined so may different kind of ritual knives.
"A true magpie, isn't she ?" Omega rumbles fondly, closing the door behind them and encouraging Clicks to lay on her bed, clustered with blankets, pillows and at least seven different crow plushies. She curls on top of the bedding, surveying with one pair of eyes Ifrit's awed observation of the room, while the other two close in contentement at finally being home.
"...your room is so cool," Ifrit huffs in near disblief. He's careful not to touch anything without Clicks' permission, which she is grateful for. She is very specific about her belongings and who gets to go anywhere near them. "How did you even get all those knives ?"
Clicks grins, curved fangs catching the low light.
"Sticky fingers and quick retreat."
Ifrit's laughter bounces off the walls as he politely lingers at the foot of her bed, only sitting next to her when she gestures for him to. He nods toward her plushies as she lays on her front, trying for a stretch that gets cut short by the flaring in her back.
"I like them. Got a thing for crows ?"
Omega, who sank into an armchair Clicks snagged years ago from Primo's overly clustered office, chuckles as he rolls his sleeves.
"You have no idea. She befriended so many of them she's got a flock following her while she works."
Clicks huffs, kicking a few pillows off the bed to free some space and let Ifrit settle more comfortably.
"They're amazing, is all. Do you know how smart they are ?"
Omega nods with that fond smile that feels like home.
"I do, and I would love to hear you rant about them, but I would rather we start with your back. We can do it through your shirt if you're more comfortable with it, but ideally-"
"It's fine," she cuts him off, wiggling until she can get the tshirt - at least two sizes too big with holes on the back for her wings- off and on the floor. She crosses her tattooed arms and rests her head on them, peering at Ifrit. She's not really shy about it ; a body's a body, and it's not like ghouls have any problems with casual nudity, but her vessel has known violence, both in the pit and on earth, and wears its marks.
Instead of focusing on the lacerations forever imprinted on her lower back, or the telling jaw imprint just below where he'll have to work, Ifrit's eyes fly to the intricate motives following the curve of Clicks' spine, a mix of prayers in many obscur languages, symbols, and ritual markings, all aimed toward one thing : protection. Ifrit wistles lowly as he starts feeling for the knot under Clicks' shoulderblade.
"Nice ink. Alpha did it for you ?"
Clicks nods vaguely, groaning in relief when Ifrit's palms heat up, working against tense muscles. They're callused, like any guitar player, but incredibly gentle as they prod at painful spots.
"Must've taken so much hours. Hurt much ?"
A right chatterbox, this ghoul, but Clicks finds she doesn't mind, hopelessly endeared by his eagerness.
"Sure did, but the pain was alright I guess. My first sleeve was the worst, mostly 'cause i wasn't used to the sensation yet."
She also had felt especially nervous about letting Alpha stab her repeatedly with a needle, which in all honesty was probably just her survival instinct kicking in, reasonably so. Now though, after hours under the fire ghoul's needle, she has no further apprehension than what any person about to be subjected to various graphically detailed rants about either Pebble's or Secondo's sexual prowess while ink is pushed under their skin has any right to be.
Ifrit hums, hands swift and efficient under Omega's watchful's gaze. They chat idly for a little while, Clicks feeling herself relax more and more. She can still feel that knot pulling at her muscles, but she doesn't feel like an elastic about to snap anymore, so that's nice.
When Omega gets up with a grunt, apparently satisfied by Ifrit's work, and gently shoos him away to take his place, the fire ghoul sinks to the floor, sitting cross-legged on the discarted pillows right by the bed, absent midedly picking up one of the crow plushies, smoothing its wings out. His head goes to rest on the mattress, right by Clicks', eyes crinckled in the corners. She finds she's glad he's staying, and sloppily drapes her tail around his shoulders with a chuff.
Omega warns her he's about to start by rubbing a small circle above still tensed muscles, silently urging her to brace herself. The sensation of quintessence slowly invading her body, seeping into her muscles and manually forcing the knots to come loose is strange, even if it does elicit a relieved groan from Clicks. She's glad Omega had the forethought of asking Ifrit for help, or else she might've tensed up and ruin the process. As it is, she only squirms slightly, before sighing as finally, finally, her back stops being just an agglomeration of radiating pains. She kicks off her purr, the two other ghouls joining her quickly.
Omega's hand carefully brushes her neck, thumb gentle against what he can reach of the thick scar running jaggedly across her throat, edge just peaking on the side in her position. It's an absent-minded gesture, a guilt-ridden one that despite Clicks reassurances, he never shook off. A "butchered work" Omega had once called that scar, with its uneven width and the hundreds of tiny bolts-like stretch mark around it, where the skin was haphazardly pulled taunt by quintessence in an effort to close the wound as quickly as possible.
No matter how many times Clicks assured him that he did his best, that if he hadn't reacted in less than a heartbeat when she appeared on the altar, throat cut open, choking with her own blood, she would have been as dead as she was left for in the pit, mere moments before being summoned, Omega still pets her scar without realizing it. Like his careful touch could somehow erase the mark of the most terrifying experience in Clicks' life.
Truthfully, she has a complicated relationship with this scar. On one hand, everytime her eyes catch sight of it in the mirror, Clicks is taken back to the screams of agony of her pack, to the searing pain, to the horror of feeling her strenght leave her at the same alarming pace as her blood, to the torture of seeing the light fade from beloved eyes without being able to do anything. To losing all the important people in her life, her pack of outcast, her chosen family, all at once. To the panic, the scrambling to try and move, breath, live.
But it is also the proof she survived. And if sometimes she hates that she did while her packmates' remains lay somewhere in the pit, she also learnt a long time ago never to apologize for her resilience. She knows without a doubt that her departed loved ones would be proud of her, for not letting a pack of blood thirsty demons destroy her, nor the grief they caused. Clicks is here, alive, and the scar cutting through her throat is a reminder that she won't go down without one hell of a fight.
Lost in her thoughts, she startles when Ifrit nudges her elbow, Omega getting off the bed to slide down next to him, the both of them sitting by Clicks' bed, features soft and open in the low light. Ifrit is still petting the plushie.
"Better ?" Omega asks as Clicks carefully rolls her shoulders and, pleased to find neither tightness nor pain, arches into a long, satisfying stretch.
"Fuuuuck, yes. Don't know how I can thank you."
Omega chuckles, eyes full of the same protective affection she always find there, extending an arm to scratch the base of her horns.
"You can thank me by stretching your wings before putting them to work and not being overzealous, or else we'll have done all that in vain."
Clicks huffs good-naturedly, narrowing all her eyes at him.
"Are you trying to guilt trip me into taking care of myself ?"
"Is it working ?"
Clicks shoves him lazily. The bastard doesn't move an inch. She turns to Ifrit then, surprised to find fondness already squeezing at her heart when he let her grab his jaw, even leaning into it.
"Seriously. You barely know me, you didn't had to-"
"I'm happy to, anytime you need."
Urgh, he's so eagerly honest about it, too. Clicks watches his thick eyelashes flutter, eyes big and almost doe-like as he looks up at her, and she sighs internally. She definitely has a type.
They stay, for a little while, chatting idly until their yawns and droopy eyes can't be ignored any more. Omega kisses Clicks' forehead before leaving, not without making her promise to come find him if her back flares up again. Ifrit, after squeezing her arm in goodbye, lingers in the doorway, looking back at Clicks somehow hopefully.
"So...I'll see you around ?"
Clicks can feel her eyes crinckle in the corners when she nods in answer.
"Yeah. Yeah, you'll definitely see me."
The fire ghoul perks up, tail wagging - and promptly knocking against the doorframe.
"And, Ifrit ?" Clicks adds, chuckling lightly, "can I get my plushie back ?"
Ifrit looks down, red-faced, at the little crow still craddled in his arms.
"Oh, of course, sorry."
He lays it by Clicks head, earning a chuff and a wave as he closes the door behind him. Clicks' chest feels more full and warm than it had been for a long while when she finds herself alone again.
(Two days later, Ifrit finds a brand new crow plushie with red little devil horns on its head waiting for him on his pillow, while Omega is greeted by a book he'd been meaning to get for a while layed on his desk.)
4 notes · View notes
shiroganeryo · 10 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
Here's yet another BSD OC I've been meaning to introduce since last year but alas, free time grows ever so scarce. She's inspired by Haruko Enomoto - mostly notably known as Haruko Kunikida, Doppo Kunikida's second wife and novelist!
Her ability is a reference to one of Haruko's works, True Heart. More info under the Read More break~
Kanji: 榎本治子 Rōmaji: Enomoto Haruko
Personal Information Gender: Female Age: 24 Birthday: August 7th Height: 162cm Blood type: O Likes: Flower arranging, drinking at kyabakura, fish tempura Dislikes: Unplanned events, improper use of the law, condescension
Professional Information Occupation: Private Investigator Affiliation: Yokohama Police Department
Voice Actors Japanese: Mamiko Noto
Ability
True Heart (真ごころ, Magokoro) reveals the truth in an affected person's words as well as their connections to other parties, be those personal, professional and/or criminal.
When activated, Haruko's ability will allow her to see the affected person's words as bright blue visual writing in front of her eyes, much similar to a projection. Anything colored in red, no matter how small it is of a detail, is 100% a lie, even if the remaining of the sentence is colored normally.
If she chooses to further investigate the person in question by 'searching their heart', her ability will show her their involvement with other people through projected lines that connect one to another; the color of the connecting line is indicative of what kind of relationship it is. As much as it intrudes on people's privacy, showing even personal relationships no matter how much of a secret those are, this has been a key trait of Haruko's ability that has aided her on solving many cases before in which multiple criminal parties were allied to each other.
When in use, True Heart will turn Haruko's eyes a brighter blue with scarlet-colored pupils and irises ends. There are no exceptions to the effect of Haruko's ability other than herself and Osamu Dazai.
Personality
Haruko is a down-to-earth, level-headed woman. Her usual composure when at work usually tricks others into thinking she's the stern type but once she's off her shift and breaks character, her joyful and good-humored personality shines through. She eases up the most while drinking at her favorite kyabakura, especially if in the company of a drinking buddy, becoming chatty and endearingly silly.
Extremely adaptable, despite her overall considerate and caring nature, she's not one to be lenient with the unjust and will seek to punish those accordingly.
She carries a stationery store-bought small notebook on her at all times whose notable features are its flower-print cover embellished with the word 理想 (Risou, Ideal) in golden letters. In a similar fashion to Kunikida, Haruko is into scheduling and planned routines albeit hers are much more flexible than his. That didn't stop them from hitting it off as soon as they met however, quickly bonding over their shared interest. Now and then she changes notebooks once they run out of pages to write in, but the flower-print cover and golden writing are always a must-have for her.
As a police department employee, she's proficient with handling firearms and has remarkable physical combat skills, being well-versed in mixed martial art styles such as taekwondo and kickboxing. Her strongest traits are her endurance and willpower.
Backstory
In the original story's timeline, Haruko is first introduced rather early on but becomes more relevant as a character during the events of the Sky Casino arc. She works as a private investigator under her senior officer, Minoura, as he's the only one who knows about her ability and keeps it a secret since the use of those without a permit is considered taboo. Given that the information she finds thanks to her ability always leads her to uncovering actual, relevant clues and evidences in the cases she has solved, no one has ever suspected a thing.
However, it was exactly because of her ability that she was one of the few people that doubted the truth imposed by The Book when reality was altered to frame the ADA as a terrorist group, to the point of questioning her own judgment when no one else did. This state of unrest led her to conducting an investigation on her own, trying to find loose ends whilst staying out of the police's sights in order not to be accused of coniving with the ADA. After all, she believed in their innocence thanks to their previous collaborations with the Police Department, having personally met and inspected most of its members with her ability.
She's finally able of making a breakthrough once Ranpo shows himself on broadcast; while that geared the people affected by The Book to think for themselves and see the situation more clearly, that allowed Haruko to use her ability on Ranpo and not only confirm everything he said was true, but also gave her some leads to follow, cueing her into investigating the Decay of Angels more closely. She's come very close to finding out Kamui's real identity thanks to that.
Currently, she's helping the Police Department deal with the aftermath of the vampire outbreak.
Trivia
🌸 Similar to her irl counterpart, Haruko comes from a financially poor background. When younger, she lived in a humble village and made a living off flower arranging lectures, only moving in to the city after getting her job in the Police Department to support herself. Nowadays, flower arranging is one of her favorite hobbies as it gives her a warm feeling of nostalgia. 🌸 She can hold her alcohol pretty well but if she drinks to the point of becoming too drunk, she'll start crying over pointless things (like how one time she saw a mother goose with its young trailing after and thought it was very cute, for example). 🌸 Despite Haruko's dainty appearance, she's physically stronger than she looks. Rumor has it that she's able of effortlessly lifting Kunikida off the ground regardless of him being comically much taller than her. When asked, he neither confirms nor denies the claim. 🌸 As expected of someone in an investigative career, she's clever, with a good sense of responsibility and a keen intuition when it comes to predicting outcomes in the cases handed to her. Such adeptness paired with her ability make Haruko an obnoxious foe to face head on. 🌸 Even if the concept of ideals draws her in, she mostly relies on a very personal, strong sense of loyalty and duty rather than idealized courses of action. 🌸 Much like Kunikida, she does have a 'requirements list' for an ideal partner and even with her list not being as extensive as his, he still does not fit all requirements. That didn't stop them from falling in love anyway, as she does not fit all of his requirements either - being 4 short of being a perfect match to the list.
34 notes · View notes
gunsli-01 · 5 months ago
Text
I was tagged in this by @tired-and-unjellied @rainbowghostcat and @a-star-that-burns-brightly,
cute thing im coming up with this picrew of yourself and your current hyperfixation !!
Thank you all for tagging me I was happy to see it and it made me feel really included! I love being tagged in things generally. So, it really made my day to see these as I was going through my days!
I hope you're all enjoying yourselves and the new timeline information!
Oh, and Rainbow on a milgramblrgram note did you like the long greeting. It's getting great reviews-
Tumblr media
How was the portrayal of Mikoto, I'd like to know your thoughts if you have time to read all that- that is. No pressure if you don't though. It's pretty long.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
To be honest my current hyper is actually just me, myself, and fucking I. Yet, that's not a media and I did just write all that so ya already know I'M- (<- Accurate depiction of the fanbase falling into super hell trial three. I'll be fine though~ Because I was already in hell. So, I'm just going to be going, "Super!")
I've pretty much been embodying this song. To me selfcare is recognizing when I don't want to speak to anyone and not pushing myself to do so out of a misguided fear of missing the opportunity to, or misinterpreted my own feelings and ways of display care and consideration one-sidedly. Ultimately causing a lot of undue stress. That and generally recognizing that no one is ever entitled to the ability to access/communicate with someone else especially if someone is abusing that ability.
This may sound antisocial, maybe on some level it is. Yet, this is actually the most social I've been in a year. It's more just a reminder to myself to just not talk to people who make me feel bad about talking to anyone at all or about my hobbies. Something that some may be able to tell I've been really getting back into.
So another current hyper fixation has been my many ocs. Right now with a big focus on my little sweetie Daniel-
Who also fits that song quite a lot too I'm realizing,
Daniel: Yeah, it’s a real touristy place but a lot of students where I go hangout there due to it. Easy to get lost in a crowd. So, sometimes I just get a ride out there when invited or someone sends a ride to me if they really want me there. Nayo: Sounds fun- though it also sounds like the times you go there are very conditional. Have you ever been there without being invited Daniel: I mean yeah. Why else would I go there? Nayo: Was just curious- since you did just say that you tend to either pay for a ride when you’re invited out or someone sending one to you. For all I know, it could have been specifically to meet up with people. Daniel: Yeah, it was just to meet up with others. Not like that’s a crime though.
"I've gone outside and taken Ubers my friends have made me go."
I've been trying to to plot out the best way to finish his trial. I'm also really into Mugram (Mayumi and Masaru the oops we fucked up at work duo that is if Masaru is running a gambling scam to make quick cash.) and Tsumigram (mostly still really fixated on Toa) still. Plus, I'm interested in seeing a-star-that-burns-brightly opinion on the new timeline today. Sorry about that at first disjointed explaination on the pregnancy entrapment theory by the way I fuck up spelling a lot and sometimes forget connectors are necessary hope the edited version connected things in a more understandable way.
Also more proof for that pregnancy entrapment Yuno theory just dropped thanks to Nott sending me the graffart. Where staff just decides to highlight the red ribbon that's tied to the balloon reflected in Yuno's eyes within Umbilical the one she was aiming seeming just in case her first songs visuals were to subtle about it,
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Since the graffart is directly referencing things in the prisoners first trial songs,
I messed up I found out- Is right!
Tumblr media
Yuno as soon as she found out that was Yellow's baby,
"Oh, please! Gimme that baby and I'd yeet it off a tower."
The fanbase trial three are about to be out here like, "What?!"
Oh damn that's gonna be funny if it's actually the case.
So, yeah I've have a lot things that I've had my eyes on lately. Sorry for the more long response. I just didn't want to just slap all your tags together answer and say nothing else. So I brought up a few things I thought might interest all of you.
Also, go check out @apatchworkstar they put a theme on her blog for desktop that's very cute. Also on that note thanks for the all the help Tired-and-Unjellied I really hope it wasn't too much of a bother.
Oh also I'm tagging Star and @purgemarchlockdown for the tag game. Neither of you have to do it if you don't want to, though.
10 notes · View notes
practically-an-x-man · 3 days ago
Note
Whump question time!
Your OCs have all been kidnapped! What method of whumping them (i.e. forms of torture, psychological manipulation, etc) would be most likely to break them?
Ooooooh good one!!! Thank you so much!!
And... I've included a little bonus to this, as well ;)
Rae: Drugs or hypnosis, for sure - she's got a phobia of having her mind altered in any way, so it wouldn't even take some particularly intense whumping to break her with this. [scale to which I've done this: 6/10 - have whumped her like this, but haven't pushed it to its limits]
Robin: Getting her loved ones involved, for sure. There's actually a scene with this in Symphony in Silver, where Robin, Peter, Sean, and Hank are all captured and held in the same cell (though out of reach from one another), and it definitely comes close to breaking her. Push things just a little further and she'll break, and in a very painful way. [scale to which I've done this: 8/10 - have whumped her like this, as I said, but still has a happy ending]
Madison: Temperature manipulation, especially freezing. Her mutation makes her more resilient to extreme temperatures, though that also means she'd have to endure it for a lot longer before losing consciousness - better for overall survival, but definitely grounds for breaking her. [scale to which I've done this: 9/10 - there's a very similar situation in Smoke and Mirrors, extending across multiple chapters with heavy whump, and with some lingering effects on Madison]
Ophelia: Impossible puzzles. Place her in a situation she can conceivably get out of? She's fine. Place her in a situation with no plausible escape? Less fine, but still able to rationalize. But place her in a situation where escape seems possible, but ends up being an endless futile loop? Now that would break her. She wouldn't be able to stop herself from trying, even after she's realized it's all a game, and she'd work herself to physical and mental exhaustion because she'd insist on there being some chance for escape. [scale to which I've done this: 3/10 - haven't done this situation before, though now that I write it out it intrigues me]
Gia: Physical experimentation. HYDRA was the worst experience of her life, and it did break her. Put her back there, or somewhere similar, and she'd break again. [scale to which I've done this: 10/10 - literally part of her canon, affects her entire character irreparably]
Jasper: Isolation. Jasper's empathic sense means that they're always in contact with the people around them in some way, even if no physical or verbal interaction is being held. But keep them completely isolated, even to the point that their "emotional radar" is out of range (and find some way to get rid of their link with Kyle, since that's not reliant on distance), and the sheer lack of interpersonal connection would break them. [scale to which I've done this: 2/10 - sounds intriguing, but would be a complicated situation to set up and I haven't tried it before]
Katherine: Overwhelmed with magic. Even her own magic would do the trick - because it's not really her own magic at all, she's just a conduit to it. But place her in a situation where her only conceivable solution is to use magic, force her to push past her every limitation, and it would break her both physically and mentally. [scale to which I've done this: 9.5/10 - this is effectively the climax of her fic, and it does have some long-term consequences that I haven't fully gotten to in the main story yet]
Kestrel: Loss of identity. This could come from a few different means (magic, sensory deprivation, psychological manipulation), but in any sense it really is Kestrel's biggest weakness. Their identity is a very vulnerable thing... and grounds for some GREAT whump! [scale to which I've done this: 11/10 - I've written this so many times, don't even get me started]
Quinn: Public shaming/some sort of social voyeurism. Quinn has been through a lot of pain in her life, and they're such a resilient little shit that mental torment wouldn't do too much either. But her weak point often is her self-image, especially when it comes to gender dysphoria and her disabilities, so placing her in some position that makes her physically vulnerable or exposed in front of other people would break her. We're talking some modern equivalent to the stockade or gibbet, where it's the combination of physical strain and public scrutiny. [scale to which I've done this: 1/10 - it would break her in theory, but I'm not very interested in putting this together as a fic]
Eris: Emotional leverage. Eris does not care about any physical or mental torture to their own self, and there's a very short list of people they'd care enough about to be used as leverage. But put Rick in there, use his health as blackmail, and Eris will break - especially if it ends up not mattering in the end, and they have to deal with both the manipulation and the grief that follows. [scale to which I've done this: 9.5/10 - this is the exact premise of a fic I have sitting in my Eris doc, the only reason it doesn't get full marks is because I haven't written it yet]
Nikoletta: Sensory deprivation/touch-starvation. I'd argue that dealing with her shadow-touch for so long did break her - it wasn't one outward snap, but it did permanently change her as a person - and we could probably get her to that full snap by bringing her back to that after she's gotten used to physical touch again. The only thing more painful than not having something is to have it and then lose it again, amiright? [scale to which I've done this: 7/10 - her being touch-starved is a big part of her story, but I haven't pushed her all the way to her limits yet]
Jimmy: Emotional manipulation/confrontation. Jimmy is, by nature, a very friendly, easygoing, and non-confrontational guy. He really, really hates conflict. And while being outcast as a ghost for so long definitely plays a role on his emotional state, what would really break him would be to be forced into an outburst (especially physical) that he'd regret. [scale to which I've done this: 4/10 - the closest would be him affected by Garraka, but even then he's more catatonic than outwardly confrontational... though I do have an idea floating around in my Jimmy doc that plays with this concept]
Vivienne: Revisiting of trauma. Vivienne's first husband caused a lot more lingering trauma that she even realizes, especially with the way it hides behind its power and persona as a siren. To place it back in a situation where she's hurt by someone she loves and trusts... that would break her - and it would place her so far back into that memory and vulnerable emotional state that she wouldn't even consider her new strengths as a siren. [scale to which I've done this: 3/10 - could make for some damn good whump and I'm intrigued, but I haven't written this before]
Spider: Deafening. He processes his whole world through sound - it's his biggest passion, his career depends on it, he's built effectively his whole life around it. Losing his sense of hearing would have a profound shift on almost everything in his life, and it would break him (hell, even to take it a step further and have it be something that affects the inner ear as well, so he can't balance and therefore can't climb either...) [scale to which I've done this: 3/10 - haven't done it, and it seems super harsh, but I can't say I'm not intrigued]
Terra: I was going to say grief, but... honestly, whatever the hell I've got going on with Pluto would do it. It's not only grief, but this long decay of emotion as you realize the person you love isn't the same anymore, before finally being faced with the bombshell that they won't come back... yeah. [scale to which I've done this: 9/10 - done it, pretty much encapsulates everything I've written for Terra so far, the only way I could make this more painful would be to have Cait and Vi affected as well as Pluto]
Pluto: Powerlessness. This would be very similar to Ophelia's whump - place him in a situation where he thinks he might be able to fix it, when really he can't, and that would break him. It's not dissimilar to his gradual loss of sight/functionality in his main story, though the whump would be a bit more hands-on if I wrote it. [scale to which I've done this: 8/10 - like I said, him losing his sight was similar and very devastating, but I could go further]
Indigo: Reconditioning babyyyy!! I really only included her so I could mention this, because boy do I still love that premise for her. Torment was whumpy enough, but I could have gone even further with it if I wanted to, and had that partial reconditioning be permanent instead. Or hell, even push the reconditioning itself a little further, so she doesn't have those few points of independence and familiarity to rely on like she does in Torment. Or to have Armitage be the one affected by it instead, and place her on the other side of the scales - that would be painful on a different level, since she's always seen him as so poised and confident and reconditioning would take that from him, on top of whatever tricky emotions would come from the memory loss since he had to work through a lot of stuff before being with her... oooooh man I'm cooking with this. [scale to which I've done this: 11/10 - I love this concept, it's devastating, I could easily write a new fic that takes things even further than I've already done]
4 notes · View notes
noperopesaredope · 1 year ago
Text
My Voltron Self-Insert OC
Recently, I've been choosing to embrace my inner "cringe" and start creating/reviving my more self-indulgent and goofy fan OCs. Specifically, ones that I'd typically feel "embarrassed" for making. I haven't made too many self-insert OCs over the years, however, I have made one or two, and did have a special "can travel between worlds OC" (who turned into a psychosis-induced coping mechanism for depression). Recently, I remembered one of these self-insert OCs of mine, and decided to bring her back to life.
She holds such a special place in my heart, and I can't bring myself to hate her, especially since she was created during a time when I was still discovering a lot of myself. She is actually an early sign of my gender fluidity, as she has a very masculine name with a very feminine appearance and pronouns. But even then, she’ll fuck around with gender. It doesn't matter to her. She was how I first realized that maybe I’m not cis, and I love her for that.
Plus, I lowkey kinda like her as a character? She was just really fun for me to work with. She was also both very similar to me at the time and very different. For example, she used she/her pronouns, as I was still figuring out my pronouns and gender identity at the time, and I prefer making female characters.
Her personality and the way she presents herself is also very different from both how I was then and how I am now. She honestly seems like a completely different person from me, but I still think of her as a self-insert, because that was the intent at the time. She is pretty cringy in some areas and a little bit OP, but even at the time, I tried to tone her down a bit.
So, without further ado, here is my old Voltron self-insert (warning: this is gonna be long):
Daniel Nathaniel!!!
Tumblr media
Daniel is the "Orange Paladin". She is a bit complicated in backstory and stuff, so get ready guys, because this is gonna get a bit wild. There were a lot of intentional "holes" in the backstory with a few twists here and there, so I decided to write what I remembered and fill in the blanks with what I thought would be cool and fit.
Plotline:
Daniel Nathaniel was introduced in Season 2 in an episode titled “The Orange Paladin”. It starts where Voltron is battling a fleet of Galra, and is beginning to get overwhelmed. They aren’t completely losing by any means, but in order to win, they just need a tiny bit of backup. Suddenly, out of nowhere, what appears to be another Voltron lion (but a bit smaller and orange) bursts in and starts assisting them. Everyone is shocked, but they continue fighting, and they win the battle. They then manage to contact the person piloting the strange new lion, and tell them to meet up with them on a nearby planet.
The person agrees, and when they all step outside and watch the new lion land, the entrance to the lion opens, and out steps Daniel. She introduces herself and says that she has a lot of explaining to do. They invite her inside the castle, and once they all sit down, Daniel begins telling her “backstory.” 
She was once a cadet at the Garrison, and when she heard about the missing cadets, she decided to do some investigating. She ended up discovering the cave where the Blue Lion was originally hidden, and found a few clues related to Voltron. She managed to do some digging on the little bits and pieces of history that gave clues to what the lions even were. This led her to a different remote location where she discovered a secret "arch" type thing that turned out to be a portal to a different planet.
There, she stumbled across the “Orange Lion”, and was able to connect with it. Due to the link between lions and their paladins and the fact that the Orange Lion has more telepathic abilities, Daniel was able to learn more about what exactly Voltron was and what the deal was with the Orange Lion. Allegedly, the Orange Lion was not one of the original lions, but one that was made later as a sort of “power up.” 
It didn’t need to be present to form Voltron, it would just be able to attach itself to it and give it extra strength. It was made much later than the others, as a new comet was found around the time Zarkon was beginning to act up. Altean scientists turned it into a small, extra “upgrade” lion that could attach to Voltron, a failsafe for backup due to the escalating conflict. Due to it being finished right near the end of the war, there was no time to find a paladin for it, and it was hidden even further away than the other lions.
Allura and Coran are confused, as they don’t remember any of this. Daniel says that her lion said that Haggar probably messed with everyone’s memories of the Orange Lion so that, in case they managed to get Voltron back together, nobody remembers to look for the Orange Lion. Allura and Coran vaguely recall the Orange Lion, but the memories feel fuzzy and off. However, they don’t question it much.
(Important sidenote: Daniel is lying)
Daniel becomes a member of the team and fights as backup in battle. She also becomes close to the others quite quickly. There are hints here and there of Daniel knowing more than she says, and being in on secrets that she shouldn’t know, but it is continuously brushed off. There are also a lot of holes in her story, especially when she talks about her life before Voltron. In general, there is something incredibly suspicious about her, but it’s just subtle enough for the characters not to question it. However, the show draws just enough attention to these inconsistencies for it to be clear that the viewer is supposed to notice that something is wrong here.
She is wary of Lotor and believes that he is lying, and she says that something feels off about Shiro during Seasons 3-6. There are generally a lot of moments where she appears to know more about people than she lets on.
When everyone learns that Shiro is a clone, they all clearly seem to feel betrayed and want the real Shiro back. But Daniel cautiously argues in favor of the clone, saying that he is currently being mind controlled, and that even if he was kinda being the worst, they still spent a while getting to know Clone Shiro. 
For all they know, he himself might not know that he isn’t the real Shiro. Maybe he himself wasn’t real, but the memories were, and she “knows in her heart” that he wasn’t pretending. Every battle they fought together, every memory they made together, every moment of friendship, all of it was genuine. This speech is written to be emotional, but slightly suspicious, as though Daniel is hiding some things.
The other characters begin to suspect that something is up, and it seems like she is speaking for more than just Clone Shiro. They question her a bit, but eventually decide to just leave it be for now. Small side note about the Clone Shiro plotline: we at some point have a scene in the special realm (can’t remember what it’s called) where the souls of OG Shiro and Clone Shiro get to interact. OG Shiro reveals to Clone Shiro that he was a clone. Clone Shiro is clearly distraught by this, and starts having an existential crisis. He understands that OG deserves to come back, but Clone also doesn’t want to disappear.
OG realizes that despite not being the best, Clone still clearly cares about the team, and he is still his own person. OG ends up giving him an offer. They both want to be Shiro. And right now, their team wants OG back, but OG understands that Clone doesn’t deserve to be left behind or erased. So the best solution would be to merge their souls together and become one person. That way, they can both exist and have the best of both worlds. Clone is hesitant at first, but realizes the advantages to this, and he agrees.
They shake hands, and when Shiro wakes up, he reveals to the team that they (evenly, so it isn’t like there is a dominant personality) merged together into one, and he might be a bit different now, but he’s still Shiro. I believe that this allows everything to be mostly the same, but feels less cruel to Clone Shiro and is more sweet. I remember watching it for the first time and being upset by the whole thing, since Clone Shiro clearly wasn’t trying to betray anyone, and he still formed those bonds with the others. So I decided to fix it a bit by explaining it a little further.
Anyways, back to Daniel. During the latter half of the series, it is revealed that Daniel has been lying about everything this whole time. And when I say everything, I mean everything. I might make this occur during the Season 6 finale, soon after Clone Shiro is revealed, making it a bit of a double hit. Partway through the battle at the end of Season 6, during a big and important moment, Daniel is dramatically injured in front of everyone in the fighting.
An important thing to note here is that, despite fighting multiple harsh battles throughout the series, Daniel has never really gotten hurt before, even minor injuries. Things that have hurt the rest of the team don’t hurt her, or she is consistently the quickest to recover, with no notable damage. It’s almost unusual, and may actually be subtly pointed out at some point. It’s often played off as a coincidence, but astute viewers will notice that something is wrong here.
But when Daniel finally gets injured, it’s significant, as she straight up loses an ear, causing her to bleed in excess. It isn’t overly gorey, with her covering that area with her hand, and the injury isn’t focused on, but the blood is clearly there. But instead of red blood, she is bleeding green. She stands there in shock as the other characters present look at the ground to the detached ear, which has turned into what looks like a blue, bat-ear-shaped ear. Daniel looks at the ear, then the others as different areas of her body begin to shift and change into something different, but in a held back way. She is trying to hold it back.
Pidge (who is likely the one standing closest to her, asks “who are you?” Daniel quickly says that she is still Daniel, and that she isn’t a fake version. Pidge then says “well, you clearly aren’t who you pretend you are.” And finally, Daniel admits that the Orange Paladin never really existed, that it was all a lie, and almost everything they knew about her was made up. There is no Fake Daniel, because Daniel was always fake.
She then passes out due to blood loss, and they manage to patch her up while trying to figure out their next steps. When she eventually wakes up, Daniel decides to tell everyone the truth.
She is what’s known as a Mutivesstallus, a member of a species which was nearly wiped out by Zarkon and the Galra. Mutivessallum (the plural for Mutivesstallus) have two primary abilities: shapeshifting and extreme mind powers. They are able to read minds, peer into others’ memories, slightly alter existing memories (though this is harder, and once someone realizes that the memory was false, they will remember the original memory), and generally scan people’s psychies. They can often figure out more about a person than the person knows about themselves. Mutivessallum are often hyper-empathic and very understanding, and have the unfortunate flaw of constantly giving others the benefit of the doubt and being overly forgiving.
Mutivessallum’s shapeshifting is only limited to organic and living species, and they have a harder time shifting into beings that are larger than them. However, with time and practice, a Mutivessallus is able to shift into a large variety of things. Daniel, having lived for a long while (she’s still somewhat young for her species, but has existed for quite a while due to longer lifespans), is relatively experienced enough to shapeshift into something like a human, which is about her size. However, due to me not wanting her to get too OP, she has a harder time shifting into bigger creatures, or can only shift into a select few due to practicing shifting into specific ones with similar biology to her kind.
After many of the Mutivessallum were destroyed, Daniel (who’s real name is something else, but none of the other characters can pronounce it, so she says they can still call her Daniel) was left alone and vengeful. She wished to destroy Zarkon, but didn’t have the means to, and all she could do was wander space and travel to other planets. Then, word spread about Voltron, and Daniel became hopeful. She wanted to help them defeat Zarkon and maybe become a member of their team. For complicated reasons (even before this reveal, she is consistently shown to think in a very different way from everyone else and has an unusual line of logic), she decides to go and find a legendary wish-granting being who is able to create most anything in the universe. Due to already being close to said being, she asks them to help her make a Voltron lion of her own so she can join Voltron and help them.
The being thinks that this is a bad idea, but Daniel manages to convince them to do it, and together, they design something extremely close to a lion that can be semi-compatible with Voltron. The being then grants her wish, and Daniel's beloved ship is transformed into this thing. Daniel believes that the team won’t accept her if she is her real self, so she decides to make a person for herself that will “make them more comfortable around me.” She does some research on humans, and gives herself a unique human form with a false identity. “They will trust another human like them than a random creature like me.” 
Upon meeting the team and them beginning to ask questions, Daniel begins to panic, and worries that they will kick her out if they learn the truth about her and her lion. So she lies. She later works on constructing a more stable and well thought out backstory for herself, and using her powers, she manages to trick everyone into believing her story.
Everyone feels extremely betrayed and conflicted, because she has been a legitimately great friend to them, and she seems legitimately sorry. She’s also done a lot of stuff that has gained their trust, and proven that she genuinely wants to be a part of the team. She cares about them and thinks of them as a second family to her, and she fully believes in their cause. The problem is that she lied to them for a long while, and basically gaslit them. They decide not to kick her out, but they do let her know that she’ll need to earn their trust back, and stop lying. From then on, Daniel mostly remains in her true form, and she changes her lion to be its own thing.
This is good, because the Orange Lion was previously slightly messing up the balance between the lions, and it was already basically its own thing. Daniel begins to let her true self show and separates herself from her human persona. But everyone soon realizes that her persona and her true self weren’t completely separate. Yes, her identity was fake, but her personality was not. Some of her human-specific interests were things she used to seem more human, but once she tried them, she genuinely enjoyed them, and even continued to engage in the same hobbies as she did when she was pretending to be human.
Even elements of her fictional life on Earth are not that different from her real life. She had a younger sibling, and most of the stories she told about her friends and family are slightly true, just altered to fit with Earth customs.
About 5 or so episodes into Season 7, a few of the others catch her hanging out in her human form, and she admits that she feels comfortable in it, and that every form she creates for herself feels like one of her “true forms”. Her human form isn’t just a persona, and she confesses that she feels like her real self in both forms. They all agree that she can still go into her human form, she just shouldn’t pretend that she was born a human, and that this is merely one of her alternate forms.
So for the rest of the series, Daniel switches back and forth between forms, and even shifts into other forms that she has taken on in the past. She also is more open about using her powers, letting the others know when she has sensed something with her powers or found out something. She later admits that she feels incredibly free being every version of herself and not hiding anything. 
Gradually, the others forgive her, and begin to trust her again, especially since she doesn’t use her powers on them. She still senses their emotions and can subtly read what is generally on their mind, but that is because she can’t turn off that part of her powers. They understand this, and she rarely does anything with any knowledge she has on them. Even though her role in the team has somewhat changed, everyone still feels like she is a part of the team, she is just more similar to Coran or Season 1-2 Allura now.
So, that’s most of what I have for Daniel’s storyline in the series! This post is getting pretty long, so I will soon make a part 2 explaining her personality (which is probably more important than her storyline, but whatever) and her relationships with the other characters. But for now, I hope you liked her.
When I first created Daniel in middle school, I realized that there were lots of holes in her backstory, to the point that I even made it so that the others were suspicious of her. It just didn’t make much sense for there to be another lion, and I always wanted her to pick up on more than she should. I early on had given her mind powers that allowed her to know more than she should, but even then that felt out of place. Slightly later on, but still during middle school, I wanted her to secretly be an alien, but it just added a few more holes. Why wasn’t anyone questioning it? 
Then, recently, while coming back to her, I thought, “what if all her odd character traits were the point? What if she was a character who was able to slightly manipulate the world around her so that she could be important to the story? What if she was a slightly meta commentary on how self-inserts will manipulate the entire story and lore in order to make the author feel like they can belong in this fictional world?” I thought that could be pretty fun, so I ran with it. Daniel is not supposed to fit. Her backstory is supposed to not make sense. She is not supposed to be there. That is the point.
However, she doesn’t do all this out of malice. She does it because she wants somewhere to belong. She wants to belong to a specific group of people, she wants to fit in with them and join them on adventures and be cool like them. But she can’t find a way to do that, so she twists the world around her in order to fit into the narrative. I try to be careful about how I present her morality, and how she isn’t a bad person, but she has done something bad by manipulating and lying. It does take some work for the team to forgive her, but they do learn to forgive her, because she changes and grows. And even if her story was fake, the bonds were real. Her personality is real. Even her fake identity has some genuineness to it.
I really loved working on her, especially the meta aspect of her story, and I enjoy writing about her and her interactions with the team. She is a sweetheart who is flawed and messy, and even though she can be a bit of a Mary Sue, I don’t really care. Plus, that is the idea. She is supposed to be a Mary Sue on a narrative level, and even then, she breaks some of the conventions because her actions have consequences and she fails frequently.
So she is generally a fun character to me, and I hope other people think she’s interesting. But at the end of the day, she was born a self-indulgent self insert, and I don’t really care if people think she is cringy. I enjoyed writing about her, and I hope to make more art of her, since she was really fun to draw. I hope some of ya’ll are willing to hear more about her. Stay tuned if you’re curious!
10 notes · View notes
messengerhermes · 1 year ago
Text
Thinking a lot about that one post about "make your OCs a hotter cooler version of yourself" and I want to show y'all something:
Tumblr media
I'm writing a novel right now that started as fanfic, but got so distant from the original source material I admitted to myself this story is now it's own beast. On the surface, it's erotica about polyamorous witches harnessing magic via BDSM. But it's also about taking your agency back from oppressive governments, family legacies, and your own traumatic past in order to become a more whole, alive version of yourself. These drawings are of one of the three main characters. On the left is how he starts the series, and on the right is how he ends it. He begins the first novel In a Bad Place. He's been exploited and institutionalized for several years and essentially turned into an instrument by having his own desires used against him. This has eroded his sense of self worth quite a bit and a lot of his arc in the first book is about relearning the basics of "you are allowed to say 'fuck that' about shit you don't want." By the third book, his arc becomes, "Living for yourself, even when it makes other people uncomfortable, does not make you selfish, or unworthy of the things you want." Now, none of my characters are complete self inserts, and none of them have the exact same problems I do. But one of the most effective ways I have found to write characters that feel real is to channel shit I've felt, gone through and experienced through another lens. So, Story Time: --CW: domestic abuse, emotional and verbal-- About two years ago, I got my shit together and left an abusive relationship that really devastated my self image and my ability to trust other people. My partner, who has a lot of trauma themselves and I think coped with that by being manipulative as hell, was very good at using my shame against me, and playing a game of ping pong with my emotions---I could rapidly go from their dream come true to the destroyer of their heart, often in the span of a few days, or even hours. In a single night, they could make fun of me for my gawkishness, my clothes, my inflamed skin, and also berate me for a stranger flirting with me without me catching it. --end the abuse bits-- It was rough.
Since leaving that relationship, I've been doing a lot of what I'd call, "catching up" in terms of owning my own dreams for myself and reshifting my life to put me at the center. It's been really difficult, especially as shitshows unexpected have made me a primary caregiver for an aging loved one. But it's also been incredibly freeing to let go of trying to be someone who is lovable and just loving myself. As I go through this novel, a lot of T's character growth stems from him needing to figure out what "being himself" looks like outside of being useful to someone else. Part of being himself includes taking care of his body. Traditionally, especially in romance genre work, I feel like the "glow up" a character whose struggled goes through is often about them getting more conventionally beautiful. For men, that often means getting leaner, more ripped, and more manly. But (as I've seen many folks on tumblr point out) often times healing means getting softer and yes, fatter. And that is beautiful too. This is a T4T4T love story, and the trans woman in this series starts the series fat and stays fat, and she is loved and desired the entire time. In T's case, he starts the series with a lot of chronic pain and fatigue, and while he is thin and muscular, he doesn't have stamina to really enjoy the things he used to love. Regaining weight over the course of the series is about him regaining connection with his body and strength. It also is him literally learning to take up space again in his life, regardless of what other people think of him taking up that space. (and yes, admittedly I do love men who are built like refrigerators, and writing what you love, especially in romance, I think is a key to making work that's enjoyable to read) And the funny thing is, writing T this way is helping me as I go through my own healing. My body has changed *a lot* thanks to choices I've made, and even as I feel the fear of "will anyone else want me" I am compelled by how much more comfortable I am in my body and how much I find myself desirable in ways I never did before. And writing a character going through similar changes, letting him get bigger and louder and bolder as the story goes on, and writing a life for him where that makes him more and more desirable to people around him, yes is a wish fulfillment fantasy. But also, it makes that fantasy feel much more possible. T is a weird little guy who loves bugs and carrion birds and scavengers and likes growing plants and singing offkey as he gyrates in his kitchen. He's kinda clammy all the time and his skin gets green around the edges and he's got a pudgy belly to match the thighs that wear through his jeans. He also knows who he is by the end of the series, in a way that makes him the sort of confident that gets beautiful people to sidle up to him from across a crowded room. He's also funny and caring and fun to be around in a way that makes his lovers travel across the country to get him back when he's snatched up from their bed. He's messy, and he's loved. Just as I wish to be. Just as I am capable of being. Just as you are capable of being. So I dunno, maybe have fun with your OC, let them be a hotter, cooler version of you. But don't let predetermined ideas of what hotness is control that. Dig around a little, push against the ways you've been shamed into feeling ugly. Feeling too much. Let your character be all those things you were made to feel embarassed about. Let them be that even more than you allow yourself to be. Then imagine a world where they're even cooler and sexier because of those things.
2 notes · View notes
zeciex · 1 year ago
Note
I'm a bit petty with this but I'm glad she didn't marry Cregan or another man who's all nice, chivalrous and supports her mother's claim. That would've been soooo boring, free of drama and real angst and I love toxic shit lmao. This is a personal preference so absolutely no offense to those who enjoy those type of stories, but I generally feel like most of the times where the OFC is married, betrothed or has a side romance with Cregan or another man like him, at least half of the readers turn immediately into Aemond antis. And I don't blame them, with Aemond being Aemond and doing stupid Aemond things and fighting for his side in the war it's hard for a lot of readers, especially when most are team black, not to be like "yeah he doesn't deserve her if he does all this and won't swear allegiance to his half-sister to prove his love for OFC"…which I do get it but like we said previously, he can't betray his family for love just like the OFC can't do it either. Also, after reading dozens of chapters where a clear connection has been established between Aemond and the main female character, one that is clearly based on true love, I really can't bring myself to root for another endgame ship; anything else that is not with Aemond always seems rather forced since it will all be based on duty and all that. Plus I really like the trope in which two persons from two opposing sides do manage to end up together despite all the forces that try to keep them separated. Not to mention that with Cregan specifically, I just don't think he wouldn't keep his father's oath if he didn't get to marry a daughter of Rhaenyra…seems a bit dishonorable for a Stark if you get what I mean and using him as a plot device in a Aemond/OC story when the sole purpose is to make Aemond jealous and feel some pain that someone else is or may be sleeping with the woman he loves is a bit cheap.
Agreed about the girlboss thing. Sometimes I do like the trope and I imagine it's hard not to write a girlboss when your OFC rides a dragon but with Aemond/OFC stories specifically it's a bit overdone at this point. Besides having almost no bad character traits and never suffering any major consequences for their bad decisions, a lot of the times these types of characters also read a bit too modern for a Westerosi woman (even for a Targ princess) while Aemond and most other men still retain a majority of the characteristics medieval men have.
I wonder what decision Daenera will make that is dark and with the intent of securing/freeing herself…it most likely involves killing someone who may be innocent. I suspect she won't manage to free herself though since judging by most of your past comments it seems like she'll be with Aemond during the war? Or maybe she'll reunite briefly with her parents when King's Landing falls but then she'll go back to Aemond when he's occupying Harrenhal to kill him and Alys when hearing about the rumors? Although I've always imagined the next time she'll be seeing any of her parents would be, in the case of her father, before Aemond and Daemon's final battle. It will be a long time but I also can't wait when both of them eventually decide to choose each other. Being loyal to one's side until the bitter end, I'm afraid it would be a death sentence and neither of them will do anything that would get the other one killed so their side can win the war. While some things and crimes will never be forgiven like Luke's and their child's death, the only way both can survive is to choose themselves and be united against those whose actions led to the whole mess they'll be facing in the first place. I also imagine that if she gets pregnant again, they'll take into account their future child's life when making the decision to choose each other and be even more motivated to do so. I also hope Daemon lives to witness her getting pregnant AGAIN with Aemond's child so he can telll her "don't worry I'll get rid of this one too"
Ohh I'm excited about the latest preview!! Alicent will try to force Aemond to marry whoever she wants until the end isn't she? Too bad Aemond won't listen to her this time! Even though I'll be hurt seeing Daenera forced into the (official) marriage with him, I'm also glad he took the opportunity to marry her. I feel like it was always going to be the only chance he was going to have so yeah…
I hear about the stories other people write a lot, but I don't read them since I have paranoia that I will accidentally plagarise it lol But I always go with 'to each their own'. I also prefer my stories where two people who should be enemies and should hate each other, fall in love. I love stories when there's a brutality to their love, when it has teeth and claws--but that there's also this deep seeded love that can't be dismissed. I love stories where no matter how flawed and awful a character is, that there's something to love about them anyway. And that is why I'm writing this. I also chose Baratheon because it would be DRAMA! If she had married Cregan it would all have been tame and just... I wouldn't work. It might have worked with a Lannister, but since they're pro Green, they likely wouldn't support Rhaenyra anyway. Boris Baratheon provided me with the drama and angst I wanted, and it was a plotline that could easily fit into the story -- and his death will also have consequences.
Daenera will have her own girlboss moments, as she's always had. But actions have consequences (for the most part, I do need some level of freedom) and I want to keep to that. Aemond burned Dae= she poisons his sword He exposes her scandalous letter = she sets him up with a whore Aemond helps Boris beat Aran=Boris wants Dae as wife/he basically introduced them lol Daenera fucked aemond = She needed to be married off Daenera stars an affair with aemond = she gets beaten up and is threatened to become a brood mare = she kills him Boris dies = loss of an alliance And so forth. Some consequences are bigger than others, and some are a domino effect. I also fear that if I keep her the same throughout the story, it will go stagnant, so having her lose power and fight to regain it will battle that stagnancy.
I wont reveal anything more, but the act is dark, and it is a way of securing/freeing herself, though she will remain with Aemond and in King's Landing. I am not entierly sure where she'll be, but I am leaning towards her going to Harrenhal before King's Landing falls. And she'll only meet Daemon again to confront him. With Rhaenyra it will be far longer, and Im not to sure when they will meet again.
"I also hope Daemon lives to witness her getting pregnant AGAIN with Aemond's child so he can telll her "don't worry I'll get rid of this one too" Are you kitting me?! This is great! lol I hope by the point that they choose each other, that by doing so they will each work to win the crown, and weave their way into it. It will take great machinations, but I'd like to see them (and especially Daenera) in a crown. But I am not entirely set on the ending just yet, though I really do hope it will end with them on the throne.
Oh, Alicent does NOT want Aemond to marry Daenera. She thinks that it will only bring him ruin and destruction, and with her knowing about the affair, she'd try and force his hand.... though, we know Aemond, he will drag his feet and push it as far off as it can get, and then everything happens and he's like 'this is my opportunity! Aegon gets a crown, I get Daenera its a winwin' and Alicent will have brain bleed trying to wring that idea out of his head. But a marriage with Daenera is sound. Politically it makes sense.
0 notes
xoteajays · 1 year ago
Note
Oh! I did message you in instant messages. I can't always remember who I message someone. And I know that I send long messages that not everyone likes. So there's also that reason too.
Yeah. The High&Low franchise came out eight years ago. So you wish there was more people who still created content for the H&L fandom.
Which is bizarre to me? Because High&Low was a popular franchise when it came out, but now there seems to be nothing for the fandom. Especially because there are similarities between High&Low, Worst and Tokyo Revengers. Pretty boys who are delinquents. [I've only ever seen the Worst crossover movie with High&Low, not even the original series. So I can't comment much on Worst.]
Chimknj also wrote another High&Low story. Well.. There story would be a one shot, a one chapter story. Not that you have to read it. But it is a smutty story between Rocky and his girlfriend (original character) - during the events of the first movie.
And, I think, there is a person who's under the name FireOfJudgment on here. They have H&L stories, and AIB stories too. But I don't know what characters or ships they write for though. In case you may want to search their work. They might be an option for you.
It's best for me to write notes for ideas to stories, and characters, and who knows what else while being involved in the fandom. Because if I try writing when I'm not in any fandom, then my thoughts and ideas... I became fickle and scattered on what I want to write. It's a problem.
Being in a fandom makes me more focused to write for that fandom. If that makes any sense.
I mean.. The color coordination to my characters was accidental for me. Because I tend to go for a specific appearance for my characters, I was very adamant about using those people for my face claims but I wasn't sure for what fandom - and I probably will use them for a lot of other fandoms too. Most likely. But not sure which other fandoms yet though. Anyway. Anyway.. But one person's favorite color is blue, one is orange, and another is red which eventually became their signature colors. So I unconsciously connected them to their respective gangs, which is kinda funny because their personalities actually seem fitting for those gangs too. And since the High&Low cast of characters have been predominantly men, I wanted more female characters involved in the story. But there have been a few things I've been stick on lately.
i am just hella awful at answering my private messages. i’ll be like ‘ill reply to that in a bit’ and then completely forget.
it’s just weird. like fandoms used to stick around for longer and h&l is still relatively recent. like 2016 wasn’t even a decade ago yet! everybody go watch h&l and feel emotions you didn’t expect about a pretty boy gang show. the song ‘break into the dark’ literally got me F*cked Up, everybody go watch the unofficial music video.
i will absolutely go read a smutty fic, that’s half of what i’ve been reading lately anyway. love me an explicit fic. and rocky has grown on me, do really like that dude.
i used to be really good at writing short original stories, but now i find it a bit harder. need that high school inspired brain back. fanfics do come a bit easier for me, but i also second guess myself a lot and some stuff i don’t end up posting or even finishing. which is a shame bc it’s supposed to be a fun hobby. i definitely need a fandom to obsess over or i just go totally blank in the brain.
im so bad at colour coordinating my ocs, i can rarely ever decide on what colour suits them best. idk if anyone’s noticed how many light blue or pink characters i have ahsjdl. my own h&l oc kinda started as an oya oc and then developed into something more and got switched around a bit, i think i’m mostly happy with where she’s at rn tho. im having a lot of fun with her.
h&l is definitely lacking in the female character department. like even the strawberry milk girls don’t get a whole lot of screen time like i thought they would, which is a shame bc i think they’re cool and i love pink. i think naomi got the most screen time out of all the girls and even that wasnt a whole lot. n-e-way yamato’s mum and the bartender lady are, like, definitely gfs tho, that’s my hc.
0 notes
nevermindirah · 3 years ago
Note
Do you have any thoughts on the use of AAVE for Nile (or lack thereof) in TOG fanfiction? I've been reading some Book of Nile fic and some writers seem to write her as a Millennial™ (using words like "fave" and "woke") but never acknowledge her Blackness in her patterns of speech. I know we don't see her use as much AAVE in the films, but I would argue she's in situations where code-switching would be valued (first in a "professional" environment in the army, then around a group of non-Black strangers).
Hi anon! I have many thoughts on this and I'm honored you asked me! But I should start by saying I'm white and any thoughts Black fans and especially Black American fans have on this that they want to share would be beyond lovely. (I'm not gonna tag anybody bc that feels rude but please add onto this post if any of y'all see this and want to!)
The main reason I personally avoid AAVE for Nile in my own fics is because I'm not Black. But Nile-centric fics by Black writers tend to avoid using much of it too, at least from what I've noticed/understood, and my guess is it's largely for the reason you mention, that she's in situations that encourage code-switching.
In movie canon Nile is highly competent at tailoring her language to each situation she finds herself in. This fantastic linguistics analysis meta shows how skillfully Nile chooses her vocabulary and grammar to meet her goals with different conversation partners in different contexts. In comics canon Nile had a bunch of different civilian jobs before joining the Marines, so she would've had experience code-switching in the ways that made sense for all those different contexts as well as the Marines and her family and high school and wherever else she spent her time before we met her. And now she's spending her time with a handful of immortals none of whom are native English speakers and a fellow Black American but one with a Queen's English UK accent whose professional experience is in the CIA where high-status code-switching is often an absolute must for success or even survival.
Fics featuring Nile are charged with extrapolating from that to how it might show up in her use of language that she's coping with a traumatic separation from her family and her career and pretty much everything she's ever known and now she needs to be able to make herself understood to people who seem to care about her and each other but are super duper in crisis, three (soon to be four) of whom predate Modern English entirely and the only one who's anywhere near her contemporary she's not supposed to talk to for a century. All of these people are telling her that pretty much any contact with any mortals poses an existential threat to her and the rest of the group. How the FUCK is she supposed to cope with that, like, generally? And would it be a more effective way for her to cope if she talked to Andy Joe and Nicky using the speech patterns that she used to use with her mom and brother, to at least retain that part of her identity even if it means having to do a lot of explaining, or would it meet her needs better to prioritize Andy Joe and Nicky understanding what she means with her words over using the particular words and grammar forms she used with her family?
I've seen several fics, both Nile-centric / BoN and otherwise, explore this a little bit in how/whether Nile uses Millennial™ speak. It's often a theme in Nile texting Booker despite the exile because of the popular headcanon that he as The Tech Guy is the only other immortal who understands memes. But Nile's much-younger-than-Booker mom probably uses Boomer and/or Gen X memes and Andy has been adapting to new communication styles for forever as evidenced by her canon high level of fluency with standard-American-accented English.
Which brings us back to people avoiding AAVE because they're not Black and they don't want to make mistakes (or they're not Black and they don't want to get yelled at for making mistakes, though I think many people overestimate how much they'll get yelled at while underestimating how much these mistakes can hurt). I can imagine some Black fans hold back from using much AAVE in fic because they don't want to share in-group stuff with white people who are likely to then adopt and ruin it, as white people so often do with Black cultural stuff. Some links about this including a great Khadija Mbowe video. I'm saying this gently, anon, because you might not know: woke, an example you cited as Millennial™ speak, is AAVE, and that's gotten erased by so many white people appropriating it and using it incorrectly online.
And also there's the part where fandom is a hobby and you never know when you're reading a fic that's the very first thing someone's ever written outside of a school assignment. This cultural considerations of language shit takes a level of effort and skill that not everybody puts into every fic, or even could if they wanted to because they haven't had time to build their skills yet. It's definitely easier for non-Black fans to project our millennial feels onto Nile than to do the layers of research and self-reflection it requires to depict what Blackness might mean to Nile, and it's not surprising that often people sharing their hobby creations on the internet have gone the easier route. There's not even necessarily shame in doing what's easier. It's just frustrating and often hurtful when structural white supremacy means that 3-dimensional Black characters are rare in media and thoughtful explorations of them in fandom are seen by the majority of fans as not-easy to make and therefore Nile Freeman, the main character in The Old Guard (2020) dir. Gina Prince-Bythewood, has the least fic and meta and art made about her of our 5 main immortals.
I've been active in different fandoms off and on for twenty years and I barely managed to write 5,000 words about Sam Wilson across multiple different fics in the 7 years since I fell in love with him. There's an alchemy to which characters we connect with, and on top of that which characters we connect with in a way that causes us to create stuff about them. Something about Nile Freeman finally tipped me over the edge from a voracious reader to a voracious writer. It's not for me to judge which characters speak to other individuals to the level of creating content about them, but I do think it's important for us to notice, and then work to fight, the pattern where across this fandom as a whole Nile gets way less content, and way less depth in so much of the content that's in theory about her, than any of these other characters.
Anyway, back to language. My two long fics feature Nile with several Black friends — Copley and OCs and cameos from other media — but all of those characters except Alec Hardison from Leverage aren't American. It's very possible I'm guilty of stereotyping Black British speech patterns in I See Your Eyes Seek a Distant Shore. I watched hours and hours of Black haircare YouTube videos in the research for that fic and I modeled my OCs' speech patterns on what I heard from some of those YouTubers as well as what I've heard people like John Boyega and Idris Elba saying in interviews, but the thing about doing your best is you still might fuck up.
I'm slowly making progress on my WIP where Nile and Sam Wilson are cousins, and what ways of talking with a family member might be authentic for Nile is a major question I need to figure out. For that, I'm largely modeling my writing choices on how I hear my Black friends and colleagues talking to each other. I haven't overheard colleagues talking in an office in a long-ass time, but back when that was a thing, I remember seeing a ton of nuance in the different ways many of my Black colleagues would talk to each other. Different people have different personalities! And backgrounds! And priorities! A few jobs ago my department was about 1/3 Black and we worked closely with Obama administration staff many of whom were Black and there was SO MUCH VARIETY in how Black people talked to each other, about work and workplace-appropriate personal stuff, where I and other white coworkers could hear. There are a few work friends in particular who I have in my head when I'm trying to imagine how Sam and Nile might talk to each other. From the outside looking in, God DAMN is shit complicated, intellectually and interpersonally and spiritually, for Black people who are devoting their professional lives to public service in the United States.
One more aspect of this that I have big thoughts on but I need to take extra care in talking about is the idea of acknowledging Nile's Blackness in her patterns of speech. There's no one right way to be Black, and Nile's a fictional character created by a white dude but there are plenty of real-life Black Americans who don't use much or even any AAVE, for reasons that are complicated because of white supremacy. (Highly highly recommend this video by Shanspeare on the harms of the Oreo stereotype.)
Something that's not the same but has enough similarity that I think it's worth talking about is my personal experience with authenticity and American Jewish speech patterns. My Jewish family members don't talk like they're in The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, and I've known lots of people who do talk that way (or the millennial version of it), some of whom have questioned my Jewishness because I don't talk that way. That hurts me. Sometimes when another Jew tells me some shit like "I've never heard a Jew say y'all'd've," I can respond with "well now you have asshole, bless your Yankee-ass heart," because the myth of Dixie is a racist lie but I will totally call white Northerners Yankees when they're being shitty to me for being Southern, and this particular Jew fucking revels in using "bless your heart" with maximum polite aggression, especially with said Yankees. But sometimes I don't have it in me to say anything and it just quietly hurts having an important part of me disbelieved by someone who shares that important part of me. The sting isn't quite the same when non-Jews disbelieve or discount my Jewishness, but that hurts too.
Who counts as authentically Jewish is a messy in-group conversation and it doesn't really make sense to explain it all here. Who counts as authentically Jewish is a matter of legal status for immigration, citizenship, and civil rights in Israel, and it's my number 2 reason after horrific treatment of Palestinians that I'm antizionist. But outside that extremely high-stakes legal situation, it can just feel really shitty to not be recognized as One Of Us, especially by your own people.
It can also feel really shitty to be The Only One of Your Kind in a group, even if that group is an immortal chosen family who all loves each other dearly. Sometimes especially in a situation like that where you know those people love you but there are certain things they don't get about you and will never quite be able to. I'm definitely projecting at least a little bit of my "lonely Jew who will be alone again for yet another Jewish holiday" stuff onto Nile when at the end of I See Your Eyes Seek a Distant Shore she's thinking about being the only Black immortal and moving away from the community she'd built with a mostly-Black group of mortals in that fic. Maybe that tracks, or maybe that's fucked up of me.
Basically, this got very long but it's complicated, writing about experiences that aren't your own takes skill which in turn takes time and practice to build, writing about experiences not your own that our society maligns can cause a lot of harm if done badly, it can also cause a lot of harm when a large enough portion of a fandom just decides to nope out of something that's difficult and risky because then there's just not much content about a character who deserves just a shit ton of loving and nuanced content, people are individuals and two people who come from the exact same cultural context might show that influence in all kinds of different ways, identity is complicated, language is complicated, writing is hard, and empathy and humility and doing our best aren't a guarantee of avoiding harm but they do go a long way in helping people create thoughtful content about a character as awesome and powerful and kind and messy and scared and curious and WORTHY as Nile Freeman.
232 notes · View notes
kim-ruzek · 3 years ago
Note
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I read somewhere that you aren't a fan of Upstead. Can I ask why? Do you prefer Linstead over Upstead?
You are most definitely not wrong, I am indeed not a fan of upstead! And of course you can ask why.
First of all, the linstead over upstead question is technically a little complicated but the short answer is yes, because I have actually shipped Linstead and I've never shipped upstead (except once in season five sdfgbjk). And before I get into everything, I thought I should answer this briefly first then expand later.
The short answer for why I'm not a fan of upstead boils down to they bore me, they don't inspire any of those eee ship feels in me and, for me, the writing. But that doesn't really go into depth so I will for you now;
So when I first watched, they just never captivated me. For starters, Jay is pretty low on my list of faves (I could happily watch tons of episodes without him in it) and Hailey just never interested me. I watched a little out of order because I watch for burzek, so she did interest me when I finally watched her introduction but that spark never got carried on. I just don't think they ultilised her well. And I hate Eid, and his showrunning, so unfortunately I think I was just doomed to not really gel to her since it's too late now. Like one of the main reasons I have affection for Hailey is because of Tracy-- not (just) because of her acting, but because she's adorable and so I love Hailey because the affection displaces onto her.
So not having much liking for the characters in the ship doesn't exactly bode well for liking it! But this is only the tip of the iceberg.
The next factor is I don't actually think they built it up well? Like I know it was building, you can see that, because that's narratively where it was going, and I understand that, but yeah. It just didn't envoke any of those ship feels and I would've been perfectly fine to see them never getting together/ just being strong partners. Yet again, this is another problem with Eid's showrunning, because the unit and the writing, it just didn't have the same strong effects, AND he had no idea really what he wanted out of Hailey which meant she changed every season and Jay became different and it just didn't help me connect to them or care.
And the whole upzek mess kinda soured things too. Just because that's not really like how I like relationships being built up and honestly I think they should've done a few more tropes in this building tensions stage of their relationship.
Another thing (which does also go into some feelings I have about Linstead too but in a different way) is that I hate how everything revolves around them. Character development is only really about them and even then-- they didn't actually develop!! Which just annoys and bores me and I just wanted them off my screen.
BUT regardless of this, I still had the attitude of, going into season eight, I just want them to be happy so if they get together yay. I mean I still have this attitude but before I'd say I was neutral and now I'm not a fan.
I'll admit, I did actually want to ship them. I knew I'd never write fic or be about them the same I am about my other oc ships, but I did want to ship them. And the build up already failed at that, but I wanted the relationship to draw me in. But it's safe to say it did not. In fact all my previous problems was just even more amplified. Their relationship was botched and frankly, imo, not well done. And they're so isolated from the rest of them team, didn't tell anyone (and the reasons for why wasn't ever discussed! Like Linstead, burzek and even upzek had reasons!) which just added to the disconnect... Especially when they got engaged.
Just this, in my mind, is not great story telling -- especially with how the show markets itself. In another set up, it would, but not what had been previously established. And that just creates a disconnect.
And any hope I had to ship them was taken when they got married. For the reasons I've said and more, but mainly because that was not what I wanted out of cpd's first wedding. It was lacklustre, and just continued to add to the disconnect. I don't have a problem with them getting married because I wanted burzek to be the first or whatever -- it's literally because how it happened. Family is a whole vibe of the show, and they didn't even have an a la dawsey style wedding with everyone there informally? It's just not what the first wedding should be like and that just ruined things for me. Especially because it just stank of Eid hurrying everything up before he left so he could have his ship married and honestly it's just a great example of how much Eid ruined things. And now we have sigan, it's still ruined for me, because she's already showing markings of being better, but this has happened now and no matter how good she is this mars it for me.
And finally: the fans-- or rather the stans. Stans can very rarely make me no longer ship something I originally did, but they can make me never have any chance to ship it if I didn't before. And this happened here. And so honestly it killed any chance for me to be a fan. PLUS y'know, when you see posts you've made torn apart and completely mocked for how you write it kinda stains things (especially if then things you say are taken out of context and sent to others and then you're sent their responses as, idk, a gotcha even though they didn't get the context) and just makes you never want to interact with their fans.
Now to touch onto linstead:
So I initially got interested in the show because of Erin. I'm a huge fan of Sophia Bush so seeing her in this made me go oh? I ended up watching for Burzek, but she was my intial draw in. So I was kinda predisposed to like Linstead. And honestly the first episode? Jay going to fight those guys for Her Honour,,, it got me. Not like burzek, or stellaride but those eeee ship feelings? The ones upstead doesn't give me? They appeared.
And honestly until I watched more of the later seasons, and when upstead was made canon, I genuinely thought I'd be the kind of writer who for long fix it fics would just always just have linstead in the background even if it doesn't get any focus. I have a lot of affection for Erin, and for the lingess friendship.
BUT I will say that Linstead irritates me sooooo much when I rewatch. I hate hate hate the focus, I had so much stuff about it, and I hate how Kim is treated and just. I do get infuriated and I do think if Erin stayed I would've ended up hating her/disliking her.
In December I wanted to do a whole rewatch of the show and now, the final day of march, I STILL haven't because I told myself I can't skip anything and God I just really don't want to sit through everything. I'm a burzek girl.
So technically I don't prefer one over the other. There's things I like about linstead that I don't about upstead and there's things about upstead I prefer over linstead. But I also think if old burzek coincided with upstead, I would've liked it better and same with if new burzek coincided with linstead.
If upstead was done better I'd say I probably would prefer them but they haven't been sooo. But honestly I'm a fan of *Erin* and a big part of me doesn't think Jay deserves her so that's a factor why I can't say I prefer linstead.
But I probably am more affectionate for them than most, and some of my fic ideas did actually double as a fix-it for Linstead too. They don't so much anymore (mainly because it brings a lot of hate to your door and I'm not emotionally strong enough to cope with that when it comes to my writing) but I still do think it'd be nice to write it like I originally intended. And honestly I might be I'm very much a if burzek is set in 1-4, then linstead is the side ship and if it's 5+ it's upstead because I don't ship one more than the other so I just go with canon. Like Linstead splitting up doesn't kill me, but upstead never being together doesn't kill me either.
Although I've never not cried at season four's ending/the beginning of season five.
Anyway! I've rambled enough so I'll end it here!!!
Thank you for sending me this!!! ❤️
25 notes · View notes
sturionic · 3 years ago
Note
Also!! I've got more to say about your writing. I absolutely love your characterizations of the ygo crew. A lot of the things I read years ago had very flat characterizations, which I didn't mind too much then, but I really like the depth and character/relationship development you've put into them!! Not gonna lie, the update summary of "Yugi finally snaps" was what convinced me to read your fic, since having a character like Yugi snap would mean lots of drawn-out tension that would actually be shown affecting people, and that got me excited to read it. And I am very satisfied with that decision!
I'm also really excited to see stuff from more Zelda games, as well as the lore that comes with them. I'm not knowledgeable, but I'm pretty familiar with Zelda since I've been on a huge LOZ kick for a while now. I guessed they were lost in the forest because of Skull Kid, but I did *not* get the bright moon that kept Honda awake until I read the comments and connected it with the rest of the Majora's Mask items. It feels like a fun puzzle, trying to piece the lore together and I'm super excited to see more of it!
Also I love Eri. She's a super fun character and having her there to explain things to the rest of the crew feels much more organic than one of the others just randomly knowing a bunch about the series while the others have no clue, especially since they're such a tight-knit group. Plus she's just cool and adds another layer to the dynamic!
WOW oh my god!!! This just made my whole week, and it’s been a crappy week, I can’t even tell you how much I appreciate this 😭 I was feeling a little iffy about TTYE, like weirdly self-conscious about my writing, and it genuinely means so much to me that you’re not only into it but that you’re getting back into ygo through this fic!! Wow, wow, wow. I’ll just be over here weeping. I’m thinking of doing a series of Zelda lore posts on my @winkle-pickers blog just cataloguing all the references and stuff I make in each chapter. Is that something you’d be into or think others might be? I love love LOVE talking about Zelda with anyone and everyone!! 😂
Lastly, thank you SO much. I really went back and forth on having Eri in there. It’s so much fun to write OC’s but back in the olden days of fanfiction culture it was such a big no-no that I still have some leftover nervousness about it. It’s such a joy and a relief that people seem to like her!! Thank you so much for saying that.  You are the sweetest human being, I am sending massive hugs/high fives/whatever kinda affection you like in your direction!! ♥♥♥⚔🥰🥰🥰
3 notes · View notes
yoonia · 3 years ago
Note
I'm not the same anon as earlier, but I'm curious to know why you finally decided to announce the female character anyway. I think it would be a sweet surprise if she just appears suddenly in the story after you let us watch yoonkook pinning for each other but that's just me lol either way, I can't wait for The Agile Fox. I've been reading The Shifter Series and I've been anticipating for the next one. thank you for writing an amazing story 💜💜
I imagined it would have been a wonderful surprise to make her appear when least expected (just like how it took me several chapters before introducing the OC in BMR) but I've already gotten a lot of people asking about the story and wondering if it would "only" feature Yoonkook. which is understandable. I have been dropping hints whenever I answered these questions and let everyone know that there are clues in this story that would help some parts in Blood Moon Rising to make more sense. Especially in the part that is connected to Haerin. I've even dropped some major clues. First, by dropping this post and then by comparing it with Flux, and yet, people still missed the hints :))
I even had some readers "complaining" and asking me why the story would be male x male pairing while the others are written with reader insert (which, again, shows that they missed this post!!). even worse, some even "threatened" not to read it because they prefer to read reader insert fics :))
I mean, that's okay, I guess? I can't force anyone to read the fics that I write. but damn, what a way to ruin someone's motivation to write a story :)))
Sadly, those comments were the ones that had made me postpone this story when it was supposed to be released back in March lol So that's why I said 'oh, F*ck it' and released the moodboard and the extra teasers since it's due time for me to release it. especially because this story serves as another prologue for BMR as it shows the initiation for Seokjin to enter Namjoon's pack and the dynamic between Yoongi x OC x Jungkook's pairing and why it matters for what's happening in BMR.
A little spoiler, this story and the one after (To Trap A Wolf) will give an answer for those who have been wondering about why Seokjin kept feeling like he was somehow connected to Haerin.
3 notes · View notes
fullofmemories · 3 years ago
Note
4. What’s your favourite headcanon about your muse?
5. What’s something only very few people know about your muse?
7. How many face claims do you have or have you had for your muse?
8. How did you choose the name for your muse?
17. What is something about your muse’s background story that you’ve always wanted to have a thread about?
19. List some of your muse’s favourites! (eg. food, movie, book, song, drink, place, celeb, etc.)
ask meme for oc writers
4. What’s your favourite headcanon about your muse? Honestly, I don't think I could pick just one! But one of the ones I've been finding the funniest lately is that despite her being a highly trained SHIELD Agent and vigilante,,,, she legally cannot drive and still does not know how hjhKJHDSFKJD
5. What’s something only very few people know about your muse? I mean, that's a pretty long list - there's a lot of things she doesn't share with people she's not as close to, whether it's a conscious decision or just the fact that she sometimes doesn't think to bring certain things up. But I'd say it's very rare for anyone to know the full extent of what she's been through. She tends to keep most of the details to herself even with close friends, if only to keep them from worrying too much. And something that I feel like most people who have only met her now wouldn't know - teenage Katrina wasn't necessarily nice. She knows very well that she might not have a lot of the friends she has now if they had met back then.
7. How many face claims do you have or have you had for your muse? Fun fact, my first ever fc for Katrina (even before I started writing her publicly at all) was actually Das.ha Ta.ran! (this pic specifically was one that really reminded me of her) But ultimately I felt like she looked too... young, for lack of a better term? I wanted her to look a bit older, more serious. I also briefly considered Annabe.ll Häfn.er - especially since she's also Austrian - but there just aren't many resources for her, and I've never pictured Katrina with her hairstyle. I looked through so many different fcs, especially since I had already been writing and drawing her for two years before seriously looking for a fc for her, which made it really hard because so many people were almost right but there was just something off. But I ultimately settled on Adelaide, and I'm really glad I did! She has the right look and vibe for Katrina. (also, another fun fact: i had never seen any of her shows/movies and had no idea how popular she was before starting this acc, i was a little surprised at first hfsdkjfhskjd)
8. How did you choose the name for your muse? I chose Katrina as her first name because 1. I used to have a habit of giving my characters K names 2. It can be traced back to Hecate, goddess of magic and illusion, which references her powers 3. It can also mean pure, which I love just for the irony of it Her middle name is Seraphina, for two reasons 1. The biblical reference, which feels fitting for her parents and incredibly ironic given the actual job of the Seraphim 2. The connection with fire And her last name is Brändle, which is derived from the old German "brand" meaning "sword" or "fire" - which feels fitting!
17. What is something about your muse’s background story that you’ve always wanted to have a thread about? Oooh... I'd love to talk more about her parents and do threads talking about her time in HYDRA, but honestly I've always really wanted to do some threads around the time that she's just gotten out of HYDRA and is still adjusting to everything!
19. List some of your muse’s favourites! (eg. food, movie, book, song, drink, place, celeb, etc.) Her absolute favorite food is Sachertorte, her favorite movies are Bu.t I'm A Che.erleader, Chic.ago, and Fi.ght Clu.b, she doesn't really have a favorite book or song - she doesn't read a whole ton and she likes too many songs to pick just one - one of her favorite drinks is Almdudler, and her favorite place is the forest! Just about any forest, but especially the ones in Austria.
1 note · View note
so-caffeinated · 8 years ago
Note
You are the first and only writer I have read for this fandom. I love your work so much, I've re read all your Arrow stories twice (even the Firefly one even though I've never watched it). Do you have any favorite Olicity fics to recommend to keep me from going crazy my first hiatus? (I binged the first 4 seasons last year)
This is awesome!! Thank you! I’m super honored. And do I have recs? Oh yes, I have recs. 
First rec isn’t actually a fic, it’s a resource… @theolicitylibrary. If you want recs, they’ve got ‘em. If you want a specific trope or rating or genre, they’ve got that, too. Have a hankering for a fic where Oliver and Felicity are business rivals? There’s a link for that. Where she’s the vigilante instead? There’s a link for that, too. Where one of them is a werewolf? Yup. They’re an amazing resource and you can lose days (and weeks and months) going through lists of alpha/omega tropes and rockstar AUs and friends-to-lovers fics. 
But more specifically… how about I rec some authors, too? I haven’t been reading much lately - I spend all my time writing - so I’m more comfortable reccing authors I know are amazing and whose works I’m looking forward to catching up on. They’re all consistently excellent. This is by no means an all inclusive list.
@dust2dust34 - My co-writer for FiCoN and personal fav (though I admit to no small amount of bias). If you want smut and you want details and mining a scene for feelings, Bre is your girl. She has plenty of oneshots to choose from as well as some multichapter fics.  
@machawicket - Look, I can’t overstate Danielle’s skills as a writer. My husband doesn’t even read my fic but he likes hers. Her writing is funny, sweet, sexy and heartbreaking in turn but it’ll never leave you unsatisfied. She’s a master. 
@anthfan - Nikki is one of those writers that’s so good she makes you forget you’re reading a story, because it’s just something you’re living. It’s an experience. Her characterization is spot-on and her plots are super engaging. She writes both one-shots and longer stories. They’re all worth your time.
@hannasus - Susannah’s writing is the perfect balance of detailed exposition and tight narrative that lets you feel like you’ve experienced the whole setting in just a few lines. Add to that fully in-character characterization and interesting plots that keep you reading and you really can’t go wrong. I recommend reading her Something Like Fate series ASAP as she’s adapted it into the basis for an original novel (which she’s publishing later this year) and it may not be up on AO3 a whole lot longer. 
@rosietwiggs - I can always tell Rosie’s work in just a few lines. Her narrative voice is so very distinctive and so gripping that it pulls me in effortlessly. I don’t believe she’s writing for Arrow anymore, but even her unfinished works are worth a read. I especially recommend The New Normal, Lengths and How The Mighty Fall In Love.
@supersillyanddorky06 - I’d be surprised if you hadn’t heard around about Matty’s writing because she’s right at the core of the Olicity fandom’s best known fanfics. With good reason. She’s prolific, plotty, smutty and evocative. If you have a weakness for Bratva!Oliver, I’d start here. 
@jsevick - I first met Jaimie after reading her Jurassic Park AU (really!) and being both delighted and amazed that she could make it work. I’m extremely lucky to have had her help as my beta pretty much ever since. If you like my writing, she’s a big part of it (along with @alizziebyanyothername). While she hasn’t posted in a while, her stories are just fun and if you like Gilmore Girls, her Arrow AU for Gilmore Girls is a treat!
@realityisoverrated-fic - I have no idea how you would feel about Smoaking Billionaires, Anon (I personally love it), but I’ve got to very highly recommend her Infinite Love series. At 110 parts and counting, it deals extensively with Oliver, Felicity and Tommy’s family longterm, including their kids. It’s alternately hot, sweet, and heartbreaking. But, most of all, it’s just well-written and interesting. If you’re willing to read them as a triad, I cannot recommend this strongly enough.
@geneeste - I would pay for more of Caught a Long Wind. Quite literally. But, that aside, Genie is a top notch writer. Whether her one-shots, WiPs or brilliant, ongoing epic co-written work with @machawicket, everything she writes should be devoured. 
@juliesioux - Julie uses the setting in a story as another character. There’s so much life to the world she puts her characters in that it practically breathes. Above that, she doesn’t shy away from hard topics. She will rush in head-first and dig deep to explore what her characters are going through. When you read her work, take her warnings seriously, but if you’re looking for a rich story to read that challenges you, she’s the perfect option to turn to.
@thatmasquedgirl - One of the most prolific Olicity fic authors (with 110 fics, including the absolute opus Technical Assistance). She’s consistently excellent, creative and she gives us as a fandom a whole lot to read. You can probably spent a huge chunk of hiatus happily buried in her work.
@entersomethingcleverhere - As a rule, I do not read first person stories. Not even when they’re published books sitting on shelves at my bookstore. I will break that rule for her writing. I like it that much. It’s heartfelt, moving, well-paced, and the connections between her characters are both real and evolving as you go. 
@arrow-through-my-writers-block - Shelby is… well, she’s just fun! She’s a solid writer who never disappoints. She’s got quite a few one-shots and a few ongoing multi-chapters. She’s probably best known for Starstruck, but all of her work is worth reading.  
@wagamiller - I just really love wagamiller’s work. Like a lot. There are very few authors I have on alert, but wagamiller is. Stories that make me laugh out loud are few and far between, but the 35B series surely did (as did @machawicket‘s Unbearable Hotness of Being, btw). Strong, sharp, witty writing that will leave you with a grin on your face.
@callistawolf - When I think of Callie’s work, I think of the fanfic version of sitting down with some hot cocoa and curling up with a warm blanket to watch a Hallmark Christmas special. She’s consistently excellent about finishing her work, which is lovely, and you can pretty much always count on a feel-good romantic ending. 
@hopedreamlovepray - Writing one-shots that stick with your reader is hard. Keeping a story to 1-2k and still being impactful is even harder. She absolutely manages it every time. Hope27 (as she’s known on AO3, so you can find her) has something like a hundred Olicity fics. These are, in my opinion, absolutely perfect if you want to lose yourself in a story on the train to work or during your lunch hour. 
@dettiot - Mel has a lot of great stories (like really great). My favorite is probably the “ink in my pen ran dry” series, but that’s a really tough call. Core Curriculum is super hot. The Felicity Stark series (crossover with Avengers-verse) is brilliant and fun and made me giddy while reading it. Beauty in the Breakdown is excellent. Jerry the EA series features one of the best takes on a relative OC I’ve read in fics. Love is Red made me squeal like a teenager with excitement (I’m not ashamed; it was warranted). And Two Men, Same Name (written with @melsanfo) is one of those that I am absolutely dying for the time to catch up on. While I’m at it, let’s rec Mel Sanfo, too. Her Masquerade is another novel-length fic absolutely worth a read. You really can’t go wrong with either of these ladies. 
@ash818 - Ash is freaking awesome. So, here’s the thing. Her Legacy series is mind-blowingly good. I have to admit, I’ve only read The Man Under The Hood in the series (this is intentional, for a reason you’ll see in a moment, but you need to read all of her work ASAP, okay? You do). This series… you’ve got future, married Olicity with teenage children as they continue their mission. There’s action, plot, heartbreak, angst, love, everything you could want. It’s in first person from their son’s perspective which is something I would probably never have clicked on in the first place had it not come highly recommended, but good lord is it amazing. All of her characters have life. All of them have depth. Her OCs are fully formed and vital to the story without overshadowing characters you already know. I haven’t read the later stories because after I decided to continue on with FiCoN verse, I didn’t want to inadvertently shade my views on Olicity’s growing family and continuing mission with anything she did in her series. If anything I do happens to run parallel to her work, I want to know beyond any doubt that it’s 100% coincidence. But her stories are something I’m absolutely itching to get to read… eventually. Her writing is excellent.  
@tinaday3w - I’m tempted to say “JUST READ IT” but that’s probably not enough… But really, just read it. No one does slow burn like Tina. Victorian era AU with pirate!Oliver? Yes, please. Hello. I’ll take two.
@emmilynestill - She’s just so good. And sooooo hot. I don’t know if you know this, Anon, but writing a good sex scene is hard. You don’t want your reader pulled out of the scene by wondering if a position is actually possible or when underwear came off (or if it did) or how gravity isn’t making them collapse. Like… smut is difficult. But it reads so effortlessly with Emmilyne’s writing. And, beyond that, she weaves it in beautifully with plot that keeps you wondering what’s next and emotion that builds and grows in an organic way. Orgasms and organic feelings. Honestly, what else could anyone really want?
@ruwithmeguys - Jess will gut you and leave you asking her to do it again. Indecent Proposal… just… read the warnings and be ready and read it with a lot of time on your hands and probably in chunks because ouch. But still… read it.
@academyofshipping - Sarah has this dry sense of humor that comes out in her fics that’s as clever as it is fun. Fluffy, funny, smart, cute and rich with feeling, Sarah’s writing is consistently strong. 
@someonesaidcake - Felice is fantastic for completed, multichapter AU fics. She has quite a few and I’m pretty sure every single one included smut at some point (if that’s your thing) as well as plot. 
And… I’ve spent like an hour and a half on this which was a lovely diversion for my day. I know I’m forgetting amazing people but I have to stop here. When in doubt, take the title of a fic you like, google that name in quotes along with “rec list” and find someone’s list where that story was included, then explore the others. Or, check the bookmarks on AO3 of an author you like, that’s a great place to mine for fics, too. And, again, I can’t rec @theolicitylibrary enough. That said… happy reading, Anon! We’ll get through this hiatus together… through fic and sheer force of will. ;-)
628 notes · View notes