#Kim Ruzek turns one!!!

[fangirlfrom-hell]

How Many Detectives Are Needed To Sleep A Baby? || Jay Halstead x reader!

Cute and fluffy Jay, wife and baby + babysitter detectives

*re-posting this because I'm stupid and accidentaly delated my blog 🫠

Summary: Intelligence unit takes care of Jay's newborn baby while he and his wife are in court. Turns out it is the most difficult case they have worked on.

-"You can't go in there". Platt muttered in a scolding tone to Adam, who wanted to go into the coffee room.

-"Why not?" He asked strangely.

-"Shhhhhh". Kim gave him a punch on his arm. -"Keep it quiet, you're gonna wake her up".

-"Ok, alright". Ruzek kept his voice low. -"What the hell is going on, girls?"

-"Halstead's baby is sleeping in there. Don't you dare to interrupt her sweet dreams, bro". Kevin said from his desk.

-"Look at her. You can see her smile even from here". Hailey said, peeking through the window.

Trudy and Kim followed her.

-"She's so lucky she didn't get her father's mad face". The Sergeant enquired.

-"What do you think she's dreaming about? She looks so peaceful".

-"What's going on? Where's Jay? Where's her mom? What is she doing here all alone?" Adam was losing it, increasing his voice volume once more.

-"She's not alone. We're taking care of her!". Hailey frowned.

-"Adam, please". Voigh silently got out of his office and rushed towards him whispering. -"Would you keep it down? I can hear your voice even with my door closed. Let the baby rest, she's only weeks old and already has seen too much".

The detective opened his arms in a defeated gesture. He had just arrived and didn't understand anything.

-"Y/N is testifying right now, we couldn't avoid it. She and her colleagues published the investigation under their names, so...I couldn't stop it. Jay is by her side. The baby is here for protection".

-"She really is a hell of a journalist". Upton mentioned with admiration.

-"And a very brave woman. We owe her a lot in this case". Hank stated.

-"You know? You would have known about this if you had arrived in time to work". Burgess teases Adam.

-"Is there any news about the trial?" Platt wanted to know, worried about you.

-"Not yet, but Jay said he'll be in touch". The boss stated. -"You know these trials take time".

They weren't conscious about it, but the whole Intelligence squad looked hilarious talking with whispers and walking in tiptoes as they went back to their workplaces.

Time passed and the girl was still sleeping safe and sound, until Adam decided to stand up to stretch a bit and stumbled with some cables on the floor. Naturally, the clatter woke up the little baby.

-"It had to be you, right?" Kim mocked her husband as she helped him stand up.

Hailey and Kevin ran to the coffee room as if they were running a race. It was him who got there first and held the baby girl.

-"There, there. Uncle Kev is right here". He tried to reassure her. -"I had siblings and took care of them when they were babies. I can manage another one".

But after a few minutes, she was still uncontrollable.

-"Ok, it's my turn". Burgess got into the game and took the baby off his partner's arms. -"I'm the only mom here, the only one who has a real daughter. I know how to do it".

-"What are you talking about?" Trudy Platt laughed. -"Makayla was already a grown up when you adopted her!" And she grabbed the baby to accommodate her in her chest. But the crying did not stop.

-"Oh, no. What are they doing to you, sweetie?" Upton grabbed her and laid her in her arms. -"I am her godmother, she knows me better".

The baby Halstead slowed down her crying, but she was still restless.

-"Well, how many detectives do you need to sleep a baby, hum? You don't know anything". Hank Voight gasped. -"Give her to me, I'll show you all". But as soon as she was in the arms of the boss, her crying increased. -"Oh. I've lost touch!"

Jay and Y/N were already at the bullpen, waiting in the stairs. They got in time to witness the fluffy scene.

-"Hey, guys? She's not a rag doll, you know?" Jay said laughing at the scene and his friends turned around with surprise. -"She just needs her daddy's arms''. He took his daughter to stroke her and almost immediately she calmed down.

-"That's not fair". Platt crossed her arms.

-"We brought you coffee". You smiled, leaving the box you were carrying on one of the desks. -"There's not enough caffeine when you take care of a newborn. There's one for each of you, just as each of you like it. Look for your name in the tags".

-"Geez, thanks!" Adam said gladly and balanced the table. -"I was denied entrance to the coffee room the whole morning".

-"I'm sorry". You turned red.

-"Don't listen to him". A chorus of detectives said.

-"She's really calm, it was no problem". Kevin asserted and everyone else agreed.

You approached your husband and as soon as you were in your daughter's sight, the baby started to smile and giggle, throwing little kicks into the air.

-"What? Why are you laughing so much, baby?" You raised your hands and freed Jay's arms. -"Come with mommy, sweetie".

Everyone stared at the scene with tenderness, especially Kim, whose eyes started watering.

-"You wanna hold her?"

She just nodded and took the opportunity.

-"How was the trial? Are you alright?" Platt inquiered.

-"Yeah, I mean it was really scary, but I think it went fine". Y/N hands started to shake a little bit, but she was fast enough to hide them in her pockets. Nobody noticed, except for Jay.

-"She did a great job". He hugged you by the waist, trying to secretly ease you.

-"I have no doubt about it, she already showed us how much of a badass she is". Hank smirked.

-"I will just be more comfortable if you stay in here at least until the Jury deliberates, or as soon as I can go home with you. It's just a precaution, I'm not being paranoid or something".

-"Yes, I agree". Voight followed the idea.

-"Sure. Whatever you think is better".

The baby yawned and stretched herself so adorably, that she caught everyone's attention again.

-"I should put her down to sleep".

-"Alright. Take my seat, Y/N. We don't know how much we're staying here". Jay pointed out.

-"C'me on, Kim. Give the baby back to her mommy".

-"If you need help with the baby or you get bored of these people around, I'll be downstairs". The desk Sergeant winked at you and you smiled back at her back.

-"She won't be bored. She has me here". Hailey pulled a face.

-"I'll take provisions just in case the little one takes the coffee room again". Ruzek rushed to the kitchen.

Everyone else rolled their eyes in a funny way.

[poppadom0912]

Love on ice

Characters: Jay Halstead x Reader, Adam Ruzek, Kevin Atwater, Makayla Burgess, Jordan Atwater

Warnings: None

Summary: Jay unveils one of his biggest secrets to help a friend.

A/N: I got some inspiration from one of the chicago pd episodes this season. Thought it would be cute but it didn't turn out as nice as I wanted it to.

Wrapping up a successful case felt good. Damages were kept to a minimal and Jay was certain this case in particular wouldn't haunt him in his dream which was always a bonus.

Jay was currently messaging you, keeping his smile hidden behind his hand so no one would interrogate him. He had been able to keep you his best kept secret for a year now and no one knew besides Will because of your sudden appearance at his door one night but he'd been sworn to secrecy.

Pressing his lips together, he kept down a chuckle at one of your well thought out jokes and put his phone down, promising to call you on his way home. Just as he was going to sign off all his paperwork before signing off for the night, Jay became aware of the conversation everyone was participating in besides him.

"We can skate but she wants professionalism." Kim stressed, leaning back on her chair as she talked about who Jay guessed was Makayla. "She straight up told us no when I offered to teach her myself."

"You did tell her that Jordan is pretty good, right?" Kevin asked, looking at his best friend questiongly before looking back to his monitor.

"We tried that Kev." Adam answered for Kim, pushing his chair back to his own desk. "She needs to see him on the ice first."

Jay felt like he would regret his actions but deep down, he adored Kim and Adam's daughter. Maybe you wouldn't shout at him if it was for Makayla's sake.

"You said she wants a professional skater?" Jay asked, finally stepping into the conversation. Turning around in his chair, he found it funny how everyone looked at him with the same question hanging on the tips of their tongues.

"Yeah..." Kim trailed, going to ask him something but was cut off.

"We've got the day off tomorrow, I know someone if you're willing." Jay discreetly offered, shrugging his shoulders as though nothing was suspicious about how vague he was being.

Kim and Adam shared a glance, having a silent conversation with their eyes before shrugging. "Sure, why not. Send me the address of the rink?"

"You got it."

*****

When Jay came home yesterday night with that stupid sheepish smile on his face, the first thing you felt was fear. You still felt it now along with a newfound nervousness.

Skating had been your livelihood, your blood ever since you could walk. Skating was more familiar to you than some common knowledge but you would never complain.

It was actually skating that brought you and Jay together in the first place.

You met him after practice and bumped into him on your way to the gym. Hitting it off was easy and it was smooth sailing from there.

You never questioned why Jay's friends and co-workers were still unaware of your existence, especially when he had to deal with your past.

You loved skating more than a lot of things so it confused you as to why you were so nervous.

"Y/N, why are you so nervous?" Jay asked you, leaning forward against the guard rails. He refused to get on the ice and insisted on watching from afar. He could see your tells: fidgeting with the end of your sleeve, spinning in circles and refusing to stay still.

"What if I'm not up to her standards?" You asked, gently pushing yourself towards him, letting him take your hands in his before you wore a hole into your shirt sleeve.

"Are you kidding? She'll love you." Jay huffed with a smile at the thought of someone not being impressed by you. "Ruzeks probably expecting some skater I knew back in the days who owed me a favour."

You rose a brow, looking at him expectantly.

"Yes, I owe you one."

Before you could voice or show him your appreciation for his short words, you were stopped by the doors opening and a small group of four entering. You didn't recognise them but Jay definitely did.

"Yo Jay! What's up?" Kevin waved at his friend, Jordan at his side. You both knew of the Atwater brothers joining you which you had no problem with.

"Hey guys, hey Makayla." Jay greeted, doing a 'man hug' and spudding the young girl who eagerly smiled at him.

"This is my girlfriend Y/N." Jay introduced you to his friends. He reached out to you, pulling you closer even though he was on dry land and you on ice.

As soon as your name left his lips, all four heads snapped in your direction, mouths agape and eyes wide in shock. You secretly hoped they wouldn't know who you were but it made sense if they were into skating.

"Y/N Y/L/N. Jay managed to snag Y/N?" Adam asked himself, astonished as to how you two were even dating and how no one ever knew you guys were dating.

You sheepishly smiled, shaking hands with each of them, even Makayla who was frozen.

It was as if you were a celebrity who worked in Hollywood the way she looked up you; her eyes shining in adoration and the brightest smile spreading, her dimples really popping out.

"Hi Makayla." You knowingly smiled at the girl, holding out your hand to shake hers over the barrier. "It's nice to finally meet you."

Glitter was practically sparkling in her eyes as her mouth remained agape at the face she had only ever seen on the tv screen at home. Her dreams were all of a sudden coming true and she found herself struggling to compute.

Adam gently nudged her with his hand on her shoulder, prompting her to return your handshake which she rapidly did once she was shaken out of her stupor.

"You- you're Y/N Y/L/N." She stated the obvious, hand still shaking yours unknowingly.

"That's me." You nodded, gently releasing her hand and going forth to shake the three mens hands.

"I'm Y/N." You introduced yourself to your boyfriends colleagues. "You guys skating with us or no?"

Adam reluctantly shook his head as if ashamed. "Nah, only Jordan and Makayla are skating."

"That's great." You smiled, pushing yourself away from the barrier. "Get your skates on and we can start straight away. Show me what you got."

And with that, Makayla wasted no time in sitting down and getting her skates on, all the men surrounding her laughing at her hastiness.

*****

Jay's eyes were burning from how long and hard he'd been staring at the investigation board. The words were merging together and he could no longer recognise the faces as they all became one big blur.

He desperately needed sleep after being up all night, being called onto a scene just at the two of you got under the covers. It was now midday on a Saturday and everyone just began pouring in once Jay called them all that this was starting to become something serious.

Deciding to rest his eyes for a mere second to reduce the incessant twitching, he internally groaned when he heard the familiar sound of mixed laughter getting louder as they approached the bullpen.

"Oh, you look like hell Jay." Adam said, deciding to go straight for the jugular as he shrugged off his jacket.

"What's up dude? Looks like you've been through it." Kevin said with a bit more empathy, lightly patting the back of his shoulder as a sort of greeting before going towards his own desk.

Before Jay could respond with the most snarkiest remark anyone has ever heard in their life, he was rudely cut off by Kim whose face suddenly brightened, making him physically wince.

"Jay, why did you never tell us you had an Olympic gold medalist girlfriend?"

The bullpen was filled with pin drop silence.

"You have a girl? No way, since when?" Antonio said jokingly, smirking as he riled up the younger detective. "And an athlete? Never thought you had it in you."

"Hmm, thanks a lot Tonio." Jay rolled his eyes, blinking rapidly as he stood up and stretched his arms. "That actually reminds me..."

The officers and detective watch the green eyed man fumble with his wallet and pull out several bills, accidentally slamming it down with way too much force on Adam's desk.

"Y/N refuses your payment and insists all of the skating lessons are free." Jay said, shrugging his shoulders at the confused faces of Makayla's parents. "She also said something about sponsorship and coaching but I can't remember."

"It's official Jay." Adam said with the most serious face ever, begrudgingly taking and putting the money back into his own wallet.

"I like Y/N more than you."

[collecting-stories]

Cheat - Otis 'Brian' Zvonecek

Summary: After getting drinks with Adam, Otis gets the wrong impression.

Request: Brian accuses her of cheating on him when in reality they’re not even technically official but nevertheless he feels cheated on because he thought they were pretty damn solid regardless, He wants her all to himself but failed to make it clear.

A/N: I cannot tell you how nice it was to get back into writing something and posting on here. I know I've been trying to sporadically but it's been tricky with school and I finally felt like this week I had a little bit of time and just needed to write something.

banner by: @saradika

One Chicago Masterlist

Otis was a man on a mission. It wasn't exactly an important mission and it was, more or less, a mission of his own creating due 100% to the fact that he wasn't capable of articulating the sentence "do you want to date me" and Adam Ruzek, of all people, apparently was. The Adam Ruzek thing wasn't a definite, solid, actual thing as far as Otis could tell. It was more a spur of the moment thing if Shay was to be believed because, according to her, you had gone on a date with Adam after he had dropped by 51 with Antonio and, while there, asked you on a date. Because he could actually get the words across without fumbling them or overthinking all the ways that asking you out properly could go terribly wrong.

He knew this was technically all his fault and he knew that you weren't just going to wait around forever while he acted like you were a couple but didn't say that you were a couple. Still, when he saw you in the locker room that morning he felt like someone had driven a knife right through his back. His ears were practically ringing Bon Jovi's "You Give Love a Bad Name" and he really wanted to throttle Adam. You were talking to Joe, laughing at something he said about Leon, and Otis turned right back around and stormed out of the room. 

"Brian!" "Otis!" Your voice mingled with Joe as you called after Otis' retreating form, frown etched on your face. 

You shut your locker, offering Joe a quick apology before heading off after Otis. Shay had mentioned that he looked upset last night at Molly's when she "unintentionally" mentioned that you and Ruzek were out on a date. You hadn't really wanted Otis to know, or rather you were going to mention it to him yourself, this morning, in case he took it the wrong way. 

"Brian!" You followed Otis out of the locker room and into the bunk room, rushing passed him and stopping him with a hand on his chest. "Wait, wait a second."

"I have to go check the truck-" he tried to move but you moved with him, blocking the path. 

You moved your hand from his chest to his wrist, dragging him into Matt's empty office and shutting the door. "We need to talk."

"I don't have anything to say," Otis replied, crossing his arms over his chest and looking out Mattt's office window, trying to look serious and not like he was pouting. "If you wanna see other people-"

"I don't wanna see other people Brian, would you let me explain?" You said, cutting him off. "I told Shay not to tell you that I was going out-"

"Knowing or not knowing, being cheated on-"

"I didn't cheat!" You practically shouted, "For the love of god, Brian, just listen to me!"

"I am listening."

"No, you're cutting me off every second and putting words in my mouth. I didn't cheat, I can't cheat. We," you gestured between the two of you, "aren't together. Regardless of that, I wasn't on a date with Adam...I'm friends with Kim and he wanted to talk. They're still trying to work things out."

"Oh," he deflated slightly, all the anxiety and anger he'd come into 51 with disappating in a matter of seconds. 

"That's it? Just oh?" 

"Shay said you were out with Adam and I'd seen you talking to him when he was here the other day...I just. When Shay mentioned it I...I don't know. I was just seeing green. I know we aren't but I mean...we-"

"If you want us to be then just say the word Brian," you replied. "I told you before that I had feelings for you, that hasn't changed." 

You had told him months ago that you liked him. It was terrible timing because he had just started going out with Severide's sister but you had waited it out and tried to be there for him solely as a friend and co-worker. That relationship had ended months ago though and Otis hadn't made any move to indicate that he was interested in more than friendship with you. There were signs, and you were pretty sure that Otis felt the same way about you he just hadn't said anything that definitely indicated that he wanted the two of you to be anything more than friends. 

"I just throught, you went out with Adam-"

"It wasn't a date, we just grabbed drinks-"

"You could've grabbed drinks at Molly's." Otis reasoned.

You groaned, leaning back against Matt's desk, "I feel like I'm talking in circles. I didn't go to Molly's because I didn't want everyone at 51 acting like I was on a date. We went to a bar in Canaryville. I know Adam, we're just friends, he's literally dating a friend of mine." 

"We're friends."

"Are we, cause you booked it out of the locker room and accused me of cheating on you but now you're going to say that we're friends? That's it? You get to be upset with me for having drinks with a friend of mine and I tell you that I still have feelings for and I haven't even thought about going out with anyone since before you and Katie broke up and you're going to hit me with 'we're friends'." You asked, voice rising slightly. "I will make this so simple for you Brian, do you like me?"

"Of course-"

"Would you actually date me? Not just hang out on off days cause cause we're friends but be with me, an actual defined relationship where I can introduce you to people as my boyfriend?"

"Yeah, yes," Otis replied quickly, "I wasn't sure how you felt after Katie and I broke up...if you were still interested or just wanted to be friends." 

Before you could say anything to him the door to the office opened, Matt standing there looking between the two of you, partially confused and partially amused. He'd heard from Joe that Otis had run out of the locker room and you'd gone after him but he wasn't expecting to see the two of you in his office.

"I hate to interrupt but I have actual woork to do...and I feel like I remember telling you to do truck inventory," Matt said, looking over at you curiously. 

"I was just heading over there now." You slipped passed Otis and Matt, the latter taking your place at his desk so he could sit down. Otis was still standing in the office, embarrassed and somewhat stuck on the conversation that had been abruptly interrupted. 

"Otis?" Matt asked. When he didn't answer, still staring at the door, Matt called his name again, "Otis."

After another beat Otis seemed to snap into action, apologizing to Matt as he hurried out of the office and through the bunk room. You were in the hallway, headed out to do the truck inventory that Matt had asked you to do that morning, when Otis stopped you. He mirrored your actions from earlier, rushing around in front of you and forcing you to stop walking so you didn't run into im. 

"Brian-" You started to say but Otis cut you off, grabbing your upper arms gently and kissing you. It didn't last long enough for you to even really register what was happening before he pulled away, dropping his hands and taking a step back. 

"Sorry, sorry. I shouldn't just kiss you without-"

You cut him off this time, grabbing him and kissing him the same way he had done to you. He kissed you back, niether of you aware of the fact that you were standing right in front of the common room and there was an audience of people sitting there staring at the two of you kissing. Or that Joe was handing Shay a twenty.

"I told you they'd get together in the firehouse," She said, smiling as she pocketed the money. 

[escapingrealtiylovinginsanity]

Rewind, Remix, & Replay Jay & Kim (Bonus) Med 4x5

You can read the rest of the series here

Well, my Monday was a shitshow. If any of your day was as shitty as mine, I hope this shiny new chapter makes you feel better! I might have to back off on my posting to once a week- so don’t be alarmed. I’ve just been busy and I’m trying to curb my burnout. <3

Jay's mood is stormy when he gets back to his apartment. He had left straight from work when he found out the FBI had decided to have Will bug the Burks house. Jay had gone to keep his older brother in line and out of trouble.

Kim had offered to go with him but he dismissed her, telling her he would meet her back at his apartment and they would catch up on Blind Love with a cheeky smile. She corrected him as she always did- “Love is blind”. She swore he messed up the name on purpose to make a point. Kim also knew he didn’t hate the show half as much as he pretended. His commentary showed how invested he was easily spilling off names and hounding men for being assholes to the women.

Kim heard the door close from where she was in the bathroom. She starts down the hallway, “Did you two work out your issues?”

“What issues?” Jay was bent over unlacing his boots. He looks up to level her with an even look. Kim could see the stress in his features. Jay looked like he had just spent hours in the interrogation room with a perp that had been worked hard but was giving nothing but sass and unhelpful commentary.

“I’ll take that as a no.”

Jay rolled his eyes at her but a self-deprecating smile was tugging at his lips. He grabbed her face pulling her in for a kiss. “I’m just glad to be home. How about some popcorn to go with our trash TV?”

“With Bacon?” Kim’s brown eyes lit up with the thought of one of Jay’s specialty popcorns. He traces her jaw with his thumb. Jay was happy that after a night of sleep, Kim’s anger about him punching Ruzek had dissipated. She had been a little distant the last three days but as he promised things at work had cooled. Ruzek and him had slipped back into a comfortable truce.

“I think I could be persuaded.” Jay stole another couple of gentle pecks. Kim's phone starts ringing. “I’ll start on it.” He gave her one more kiss before she answered her phone. Jay had only just gotten to the kitchen and put the pan on the stove when he heard Kim’s frantic voice calling his name. He skittered around the corner to see Kim, her face pale. “Kim, what’s wrong?”

“I have to go to the hospital.”

Jay drives back to Med for the second time that day. Zoey had called Kim in tears telling her that Nicole had fallen down the stairs and they were in the ambulance en route to the hospital. He drops Kim off at the door and then goes around to park his truck. When he strides in a flash of painful memories of his father's death crashes over him like a wave before he can push it back.

He sees the mop of red curls before he registers his older brother heading his way. He wasn’t in the mood or the time to have another argument. “Not now Will.” Will holds his hands up showing he came in peace.

“I just talked to Ethan about Nicole. It looks like she has a broken arm. We think from trying to catch herself when she started to fall. Kim is in with her.” Jay gave him a nod before starting to head towards the room. “Jay,” He paused turning back to his brother, “She was completely trashed. Well over a safe alcohol limit and then some. And I’ll say it seems like she has been drinking heavily for some time.”

Jay sighs heavily scrubbing his hand down his face. Kim had been trying unsuccessfully to reach out to her older sister for weeks. He knew how much she had been trying to help and how awful every time an attempt failed. “Okay, thanks, Will.” Jay took a breath trying to figure out how to approach what to do next.

“One more thing.” Will gestured to the doctor's lounge. “I took Zoey into the lounge to give her some time to process everything. She was a mess when she got here. I didn’t want her to have to deal with the hustle of the ED or the waiting room.”

“Thanks, man,” Will nodded putting his hand on his brother’s shoulder squeezing it comfortingly. When the young girl had come in with her mother it had taken him a minute to realize who they were. It was only when Maggie had offered to call someone for her and Zoey said she had already called her aunt Kim that it had clicked into place.

“She’s family,” Will stated simply. Jay stalled in indecision for only a moment before heading to the lounge to check on Zoey. She had looked up at him with bloodshot eyes before shooting to her feet and scrambling into his arms. Her hot tears soaked through his shirt as her arms locked around his waist.

“I got you, kid.”

Jay talked to Kim and offered to take Zoey to get some food while she waited for her sister to get her cast on. She had thanked him and he had led a hesitant Zoey out. Will had caught them as they were leaving and tempted Zoey with the diner they had gone to as kids cleverly called The Diner. He boasted of the best milkshakes and loaded cheese fries. Zoey had given him a strained smile as she agreed.

Even with the strain between the Halstead brothers they always came through for each other when it mattered. It was why Jay had been vigilant about all of Will’s CI responsibilities. He wanted to make sure Will was as safe as possible and kept himself from unintentional get in trouble or in too deep with the FBI. It was why Will had come over like clockwork for months after Erin had blown out of town. Quietly and unobtrusively checking on his younger brother as he struggled with his heartbreak.

They all ordered milkshakes and an appetizer of loaded fries. The boys ordered burgers and Zoey ordered tenders. The food was amazing as promised but Zoey picked at her food. Her stomach was rolling with anxiety. The two didn’t force her to talk or pepper with her questions. They let her sit in silence and drink sluggishly on her chocolate shake. Years later when she had to write an essay about found family for a college assignment she would use this night as an example of why family wasn't blood deep.

The time passed in a blur to her. She barely remembered Jay ushering her back into his truck. When he parked, she felt a dull pang of surprise to find herself outside of an apartment complex instead of back at the hospital. When he unlocks the door and she walks in she takes in the neutral color palate and organized but minimalistic style. It had the makings of a bachelor's pad but as she sinks into the plush couch, she decides it doesn’t matter.

Jay returns a few minutes later with a bottle of water for each of them. “Kim is still with your mom. They are figuring some stuff out. So, you are going to stay here for the night and we will figure the rest out in the morning. Does that sound okay kiddo?” She gives a small nod. He offers the remote to her. “How about you pick something to watch while I find something for you to sleep in? I think Kim has some pajama pants here.” Her hand closes around the hard plastic as he rises off the couch.

He was starting down the hallway when she started shakily, “It’s been going on for months now.” He pauses coming to sit back down on the couch with her. “The drinking. It was strange. At first, I thought she was doing better- getting over everything. I- I didn’t even know she had been drinking at first. It all spiraled so quickly. I’m- I’m so sorry. I should have told Aunt Kim. This is my fault.” Her dark eyes dropped to her lap rotating the remote in her hands anxiously.

“Hey, this is not your fault kiddo.” Zoey pressed her lips together tears still in her eyes. “It’s not your job to take care of your mom, okay Zoey?” Her dark eyes held her disbelief, her guilt plainly for anyone to see. Her bottom lip trembled as shaky breaths came out of her lips.

“Everything is going to be okay right?” Her voice cracked as she spoke. Her words were quiet and disheartened. Jay pulled her back into another hug, trying to give her some stability as her world continued to spin.

“Yeah, I know it’s hard but try not to worry.”

Kim walked into the dark apartment. It is late, and she is exhausted. She notices Zoey passed out on the couch. Kim’s favorite blanket draped across her and the TV still playing The Nightmare Before Christmas. Kim wants to smile at the knowledge that no matter her age it was still her comfort movie. Smiling right now seems impossible so she settles for watching the "What this?" song play on the screen. Her brain blissfully flatlining.

She heard the soft padding of feet as Jay entered the living room. He opens his arms wordlessly and she walks into them leaning into him in exhaustion. The two of them couldn’t seem to catch a break this year. The saying “when it rains it pours” hitting just a little too close to home. “She agreed to go to rehab. We checked her in tonight.”

[halsteadlover]

𝐒𝐭𝐮𝐜𝐤

*Gif not mine credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Adam Ruzek x Female!Reader.

• Requested: no.

• Summary: one of your worst nightmares becomes reality when you find yourself stuck on a ferris wheel. And what makes everything worse, with the person you hate most… Or at least that's what you thought.

• Warnings: maybe few curse words

• Word count: 3,7K.

• A/N: hope you enjoy it! Comment, reblogs and likes are highly appreciated, I love you all <3

A thousand thoughts ran through your brain but all of them ended the same way.

How the hell did I end up in this situation?

Fate must’ve played some tricks, you must’ve committed some crime in your past life because there must’ve been a serious reason why you had found yourself stuck on a damn Ferris wheel. Suspended in the air.

There had to be a reason, because what were the odds that the Ferris wheel would stuck in mid-air just when it was your turn to take a ride.

And there had to be an equally precise reason why, among so many people, it was Adam Ruzek you were stuck with.

God probably hated you, there was no other explanation, he wanted to take revenge for some wrong things you had done and make atonement for your sins.

Why the fuck did you let yourself be convinced to get in that damned killing machine? Whose brilliant idea was it? And why with Adam among everyone?

That evening you had decided to go to a fair with your friends and some of your colleagues including Adam, Jay, Vanessa, Kim and Hailey, a good opportunity to spend time together without there being any robbery or murder to solve.

The atmosphere was light, the fair was overflowing with people who couldn't wait to try all the attractions there. Somehow you managed to avoid everything that required going ‘up’ but couldn’t escape the damn Ferris wheel.

The queue was very long and you had tried several times to escape but the words of your friends convinced you to at least make an attempt since it was quiet and the ride wouldn't last more than five minutes.

The entire Ferris wheel consisted of five small cabins that could accommodate a maximum of two people at a time and you couldn’t even ask to any of them, that the pairs had already been formed and you and Adam found yourselves exchanging annoyed glances, both being the only ones left.

You didn't ignore the giggles and looks your friends sent to both of you, making you realize they had deliberately done it to let you and Adam be alone.

Your relationship with him was, well… Weird, to say at least.

The bickering between you two was the order of the day, there was nothing you said that he didn't laugh at, making fun of you at every chance he got. That man could zap every single nerve in your body and drive you crazy with just one word and you hated him for that.

And the fact you were tremendously attracted to him despite this didn't work in your favor.

He was equally attracted to you, which is why one night – dead drunk – you ended up in his bed and woke up the next day with feelings of guilt and shame and pretended you didn't even know each other. This however didn’t last long as he wasted no time in returning to bother you and argue, making your life at work a living hell.

Adam drove you crazy, he always managed to confuse you, especially when he went from wanting to argue to making sexual jokes and flirting with you and then go back to arguing in a small amount of time.

You hated him, you hated how he made you feel and you hated yourself even more because despite this you couldn't help but be deeply attracted to him, to the point that everyone – both colleagues and your friends – did nothing but tease you and do everything to get you and Adam together, claiming to stop acting stupid because you both clearly wanted each other.

And that's how you ended up stuck on a damn Ferris wheel with the person you most wanted to be away from, about to have a panic attack.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you muttered to yourself when everything stopped suddenly. You looked around, realizing with horror you were several meters above the ground, suspended in mid-air in a cabin that continued to oscillate with every slightest gust of wind.

You pressed your back against the seat, closing your eyes and taking deep breaths, feeling the panic starting to build up inside you.

Saying you were absolutely terrified of heights was an understatement.

Adam, however, remained impassive, only huffing at the annoyance of having to be stuck there and rolled his eyes when he noticed your eyes were closed and you refused to open them. “Oh don't be dramatic now. It’s just a stupid Ferris wheel, we’ll get down soon.”

“Adam just shut the fuck up if you don't have anything smart to say,” you spat through clenched teeth, a mix of emotions between pure terror and anger coursing through you.

Adam chuckled, clearly amused by the situation. “Our little detective is afraid of heights isn't she?”.

He looked at you carefully and saw you open your eyelids as you looked up at the ceiling and continued to take deep breaths. You didn't answer him, that's why he decided continuing to tease you was great idea.

“Stop being a pussy and enjoy the view instead. Don't think I like the idea of being stuck with you either.”

Adam didn't really mean it, he wasn't really mad at you, he just madly loved making you angry and teasing you until you’d explode. You were so hot and sexy when you were angry and all worked up, he couldn't help himself even though he was aware he was being an asshole 99% of the time.

He ignored the part of his conscience that told him this was just a way to get you to stay away from him because he didn't have the strength to do it, because for some absurd reason you attracted him like a moth was attracted to the light.

He tried to convince himself it was just physical attraction, although he knew full well what he felt for you was deeper than that.

But this time you didn't respond to any of his taunts, your fear too strong to even think about what he said.

Adam continued to look at you and noticed the way your chest rose and fell quickly, your breathing was frantic, your hands continued to shake despite being clenched into fists, your gaze fixed on the ceiling. The smirk he had plastered on his face slowly disappeared when he realized it wasn't just a little fear, you were completely terrified.

“You okay?” He tried to ask you stupidly. It was clear you weren’t okay at all.

Anxiety was hardly twisting your stomach you feared you’d vomit on his shoes at any moment. Nausea was paralyzing you and the dizziness made your head spin so much you thought you’d pass out right then and there.

You didn't know why you were so afraid of heights, why the fear paralyzed you to the point you couldn't move a muscle and made your heart beat so fast it almost stopped. You just wanted to go down and put your feet on dry land and kill whoever had convinced you to get on that thing.

“Y/n. You hear me?!” Adam's urgent voice brought you back to reality for a moment. You shook your head, tears pricking your eyes which you kept opening and closing in an attempt to calm yourself a bit.

Adam realized you were about to have a panic attack so without even thinking twice, he knelt down in front of you and placed his hands on your knees, worried. “Hey look at me.”

But you couldn't seem to hear him, your body was there but your mind had flown away.

“Y/n look at me please,” he continued, but kept his voice calm so as not to make the situation worse. You opened your eyes and looked at him, too anxious and terrified to realize what he was doing. His eyes shone as they looked at you with concern, making you think for a few seconds how rare that way of looking at you was.

“Breathe with me okay?” He inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. “Let's do this together, breathe with me. Breathe in…” he said “C’mon, you can do it angel. I’m here with you.”

Your eyes let out some tears and he raised a hand, gently wiping them away and making you lose your mind even more.

“It's okay, you're not alone. I'm right here.”

Was this man really Adam Ruzek? The same Adam who made your life impossible? The same obnoxious Adam?

You couldn’t believe it but you were too scared to react.

“C’mon, breathe with me,” he smiled faintly to encourage you and you nodded, starting to inhale deeply and following him, letting the air out of your lungs.

Your eyes never left each other for a second as he stayed there with you making you take deep breaths, slowly getting your breathing back to a normal pace.

“You're doing great, just keep going,” he murmured as he continued to look at you and smile comfortingly. His thumbs caressed your knees and for some strange, absurd reason this gesture comforted you more than the breathing exercises you had done up until that moment.

“Everything will be fine you hear me? They'll start this piece of junk again and we'll get out of here before you know it. Nothing will happen, you’re safe,” he spoke as his eyes scanned your facial features carefully. He tried to ignore how beautiful you were under those lights, you were so breathtaking and he couldn't stop looking at you. “I won't let anything happen to you.”

What the hell?

I won't let anything happen to you? Really Adam?

You remained silent for a few moments as your blurry eyes got lost in his. You wanted so much to be able to read inside him, to know what he thought, how he felt as he looked at you but you couldn't. God, that man was such a mystery.

You knew he was telling you those things just to make you calm down but you couldn't help but wonder if deep down he really meant those words. For an instant you convinced yourself he did, your heart wanted to think for just a second he had feelings for you.

Adam swallowed the lump in his throat, trying to stop the thoughts that tortured his mind at the moment. His expression seemed calm, but an exhausting battle between was taking place inside him.

He struggled between the desire to have you, to just kiss you right there, and the desire to stay away from you because you truly were the most annoying person on the planet sometimes.

He looked away as he sat next to you on that narrow seat no longer able to maintain eye-contact without fear of doing or saying something stupid.

A sudden gust of wind made the small cabin sway considerably, plunging you into complete panic again and almost making your heart stop beating.

A scream of terror escaped you and before you even realized it, you threw yourself into Adam's arms, looking for some kind of protection.

Adam was a little taken aback at first, not expecting this in any way but he returned that hug, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and holding you tightly to him as his fingers caressed you in an attempt to calm you down.

“Shh it's okay, it was just a little wind. We're fine,” he whispered to you, mentally praying you couldn't hear how hard his heart was beating. That was the first time you had hugged in the years you had known each other and he was about to lose his mind.

“Adam, p-please… I want to get off…” you muttered desperately, your face pressed against his chest as you trembled like a leaf.

His heart sank at the sight. You had always been so strong and brave in his eyes, as if nothing could affect you, so seeing you in that state caused him a sensation he hated, and that he was sure he’d never want to feel again in his life.

“Hey, hey, hey, it's okay. I'm here okay? You’ll be fine, they’re all working to get us all down. I promise it’ll be over soon,” he whispered, stroking your arms and tightening his grip around you even more. “Talk to me, don't shut yourself down.”

“I don’t know what to say…”

“Anything you want, just focus on me.”

You thought about it for a second and told him the first thing that came to mind. “At one point I thought about throwing you off this damn Ferris wheel.”

His chest vibrated as he laughed and you found yourself smiling back, turning serious right back when you realized what you were doing.

Your mind had decided to turn itself off when you realized what was happening: you were hugging Adam and the thing shocked you the most was that you felt really good in his arms. In other moments you probably would’ve walked away but right then you didn't want to think about it, he managed to calm you down and you needed it.

Adam leaned his head against yours, the skin of his cheek slightly pinched by your hair as he involuntarily inhaled the scent of it.

God what am I doing?

What are you doing to me Y/n?

“Well, now is a good time if you want.”

“Don't tempt me, I could actually do it and plead insanity.”

You then took a deep breath as your heartbeat returned to a normal pace and the agitation slowly passed. For the first time since you'd met, you and Adam were able to have a conversation where neither of you let out insults or threatened to put a bullet in the other's foot.

You couldn't understand how much time had passed since the Ferris wheel had stopped but thanks to Adam you managed not to think about it as he talked to you the whole time to keep you distracted.

“Can I ask you a question?” You dared to ask after a small moment of silence. You were still sitting next to each other, his arms around you and your head resting on his chest and you were almost afraid to move, fearing he’d let you go if you did.

“Hmm,” he hummed positively as his eyes looked around the cabin.

“Why do you hate me?” You asked in a voice so low you feared he hadn't heard you, your breath caught in your throat.

“I could ask you the same question.”

“I don't hate you... Well yes, but I hate you because you hate me and because you’ve been an asshole since the first day I joined the team.”

He rolled his eyes. “You’re so dramatic. C’mon...”

“Adam,” you interrupted him with firm tone.

He chuckled. “Okay, okay, maybe just a little bit.”

“And why? I don't think I've ever done anything to you.”

Silence reigned supreme for a few seconds while he reflected on your words, his eyes observing the metallic ceiling.

Why did he hate you?

He had asked himself this many times but he had never been able to give himself an answer. He didn't know the real reason, you were right, you had never done anything to him, you had always been kind to everyone from the first moment. But then why?

Maybe because it easier, maybe because he knew from the very beginning you were going to mess up his whole life so hating you was the best thing he could do to keep you away, to not let himself fall for you.

But however, this inevitably happened against the odds and his will.

You took courage and raised your head slightly to look at him and at that same moment his eyes met yours. You were incredibly close, closer than you ever would’ve been even if you were drunk.

His breath tickled your lips as his eyes looked at you with so much intensity so felt like a thousand-volt electrical discharge went though your body, as if he was somehow trying to read your soul.

What the hell are you thinking about Adam?

His eyes were so hard to read, so enigmatic. They were like a puzzle and you struggled to find the necessary pieces to be able to complete it and understand what he was thinking and feeling.

He moved his gaze between your eyes and your lips, trying to maintain a neutral expression even if every cell in his body screamed to close that little gap and press his lips to yours.

But he couldn't, especially not at that moment.

And, above all, why did he think ‘not at that moment’? Did this mean he actually wanted to kiss you?

It was a question he didn't even try to answer, his mind was too clouded to think logically.

One of his hands moved to your face and with a gentleness you struggled to recognize he caressed your cheek, fixing some small, messy locks of hair. Your breathing stopped and your heart started wildly pounding again, this time not because of the dizziness and the fear of falling down.

You were paralyzed under his intense and magnetic gaze, you wanted so much to be able to say something, to break that deafening silence but the words inevitably died in your throat.

He continued to alternate his gaze between your eyes and your lips, you actually unaware of the internal battle he was eagerly fighting.

Anyone who saw you two would think this was just a romantic moment that a couple in love was sharing, anyone could see the way you both looked at each other and no one would’ve doubted you actually hated each other.

Or at least that's what you thought.

You thought you hated him.

You forced yourself to do it, as if to reciprocate his hatred, because of the way he treated you.

But you didn't hate him, not as much as you wanted to. Sure, he made your blood boil in your veins like very few other people in the world did, there were countless times when you would’ve punched him in the face after some of his pranks, but you couldn't deny how much you desired that man just as intensely.

“What are you thinking about?” He whispered as he continued to covertly caress your face. Suddenly, however, he moved his hand away, making you instantly feel the feeling of emptiness and cold that his touch had left. His fingers trailed down to your hand, still clenched into a fist without realizing it.

“What are you thinking?” You whispered back as you saw his lips part slightly. His fingers lightly caressed your skin, almost as imperceptibly as he had done to your cheek and you relaxed almost instantly, making you subconsciously hate yourself for the way your body responded so easily to him.

“Don't answer a question with another question.” His lips lifted into a small smirk and your heart simultaneously came out of your rib cage and crashed onto the asphalt.

His fingers played with yours for a while, his fingertips dragging over your skin, as if studying every feature and little imperfection. Your stomach twisted on itself as he intertwined his fingers with yours and squeezed your hand, drawing little imaginary circles on it with his thumb.

“Says the one who still haven't answered my initial question,” you replied in the same mischievous tone.

“Touché,” he chuckled “I guess… I just think it was easier.”

You frowned a little bit and he refrained himself from kiss it away.

“Easier?”.

He didn't answer this question, leaving it still hanging in the air. But the he leaned even closer to you, almost imperceptibly but when his lips lightly brushed yours, you forgot what that question was and even your damn name. “Push me away angel.”

You didn't do it even though you knew you had to.

Your brain was aware of it but your body couldn't move, instead it continued to crave his touch, his mouth on yours.

“Why?” you whispered as you brushed your lips against his again, and again, until every part of you exploded in desire and passion.

Were you going to regret it? Probably yes, but in that moment you couldn't care less, you were too caught up and overwhelmed by the hurricane that was Adam Ruzek to be able to think rationally.

“Because I might do something stupid…” he breathed out, having a hard time to keep control of himself, his hands tightening their grip on you. “Fuck… You drive me crazy.”

His lips continued brushing yours, this time in such a way you felt like you were being swallowed up by a hurricane and spat out and then thrown forcefully against a truck. Only a millimeter was missing, just a single one for the kiss you were both waiting and desiring so intensely.

You were both waiting for one of you to pull back, to realize the stupid thing you were about to do but neither of you did, even though you both knew if you crossed this line there would be no turning back. You had already crossed this line, sure, but you actually didn't remember a thing from the night you ended up in his bed.

There would be no alcohol or liquor to blame this time, just your stupid minds and bodies that didn't want to be apart from each other.

However a sudden thud made you literally jump and suddenly move away from him, panic starting to take over again as you feared your time had come. Nevertheless as soon as you realized the Ferris wheel was finally unblocked and it had started to rotate again, you let out a sigh of relief.

When you finally reached the ground, you came out of that cabin at the speed of light, almost bursting into tears when you realized it was really over.

Your gaze followed Adam for a moment, who started talking and laughing with Jay and Kim as if nothing had happened, as if he hadn't been about to kiss you until a few moments before.

Your friends were talking to you and asking how you were but your mind was completely elsewhere, still stuck in the moment when you were so close to him and about to kiss.

His eyes met yours for a moment. He looked at you with such intensity that your knees almost buckled, a little smirk on his lips making your heart drop with anticipation and that was probably the first time you were able to understand his unspoken words.

Whatever happened up there wasn't over.

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[saragarnier]

Secret Revealed

Summary; y/n got shot during his shift and Jay found the guy who did it.

Pairing; jay halstead x reader

Warning; blood mention, angst

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Dating a detective from the Intelligence wasn’t something you had planned of when you took the job in the 21st district; you needed a change, you needed a new place where to start a new life with new opportunities and the 21st was the best place for that, for you. You dreamed of becoming a detective for years, after all it was your dream when you entered the police academy, and meeting the Intelligence Unit and Sergeant Voight was the best for you because all your dreams seemed to be more realistic. Dating a detective from the unit was risky, it really was, especially since sergeant Voight didn’t like in-house romances.  You heard of Kim, that got rejected for the job the first time because of her new relationship with Adam Ruzek, one of the detectives, and you didn’t want it to happen to you too.

Everything with Jay happened so fast that you didn’t even realize at the beginning; you found yourself in his bed one time, two times and after that almost every night. It was beautiful, it really was, you just couldn’t end it because you really started to feel something for him. You didn’t know if it was the same for him, but you hoped so because you were really falling for him. Everything was done in secret: you never called him by his name at work but jus “Detective Halstead” as well as his colleagues, you never looked at him too much, afraid that someone would have noticed, and you always kept it professional. Sometimes you were both seen at the Molly’s, but every time you were seen together, your partner Roman and his colleagues were there too, so that it didn’t sound suspicious.

It was difficult, it really was, especially when you saw him with his vest on; it looked so damn hot, and it was difficult for you to resist him. The same was for him though, especially since the uniform you wore during all your shifts looked so good on you; sometimes Jay just wanted to take you in an empty room and kissed you for hours.

That day it was just a normal one: you kissed Jay on the lips before going back to your apartments before the start of the shifts, you arrived at the station at different times as usual and you just wished to each other good luck before starting your shifts. Roman was already waiting for you when you arrived there, and you immediately smiled at him.

“Good morning sergeant, hi Sean.” You smiled at your sergeant Trudy Platt, behind the desk, and at your partner, that already had the keys in his hands.

“y/l/m, Roman, be careful.” Trudy recommended as always, not looking at you and trying to sound like she didn’t care at all; you knew Trudy very well after almost three months in the district and you really loved her. She was strict but also very sweet, even if she didn’t want anyone to notice that part of her character.

“Thanks Sergeant.” You smiled and you turned around, ready to leave the district to start your shift as a patrolman. Your eyes met Jay’s, that was entering in that moment. You smiled softly at him, then you looked away and you passed him, saying “Good morning, Detective Halstead.”

“Good morning, Roman, Y/l/n.” He smiled back, then he walked towards the stairs to go upstairs, where the rest of the Intelligence worked.

“You know, you don’t have to pretend when you’re with me.” Said Roman when you both entered the car; you looked up at him with a confused look. “I mean, you and Halstead. I Know that you’re dating. You don’t have to pretend to be professional when you’re with me: I won’t judge you, any of you.”

You didn’t think that someone discovered about your secret relationship, and you were shocked when Roman told you so; you were speechless, you just looked at him.

“I won’t tell anybody, y/n.” He reassured you, smiling softly. “I know that you’re not sleeping your way upstairs and I know that you are both good at keeping it professional, so it doesn’t bother me at all. Besides, I also think that you shouldn’t be ashamed about it because I don’t think Voight will actually care. I mean, he offered the job to Kim when she was still with Adam.”

He was right, but you just couldn’t lose the chance to realize your dream job just because of a relationship that wasn’t even official. You saw each other every day at work and at night after shifts, but you didn’t know if he felt the same for you, you didn't know how serious it was because you never actually talked about it before.

“it’s just… I still don’t know what we are right now. I... I think I’m actually falling for him, but I don’t know if it’s the same for him, you know. I just don’t want to ruin things between us and keeping it a secret is easier.” You told him, sighing and watching outside the window, paying attention to the street and to everyone, in case something wrong was happing.

“I can understand that… keeping it a secret gives you a reason not to tell him the truth and at the same time you avoid the possibility of being rejected, but you have to tell him the truth. He deserved that; don’t you think?”

Before you could even think about it, someone called for you at the radio.

“To all units, we registered a silent alarmed at 2058 W. 22nd Place.”

You looked at Roman and you both nodded, he turned on the sirens and you answered the radio immediately. “2116 squad, we’re just two blocks aways; we’re responding.”

“Copy that 2116 squad.”

When you arrived at the scene, you both noticed three guys wearing black balaclavas exiting the bar with three black duffle bags. You exited the car, and you pointed your gun at them, while Roman did the same.

“CPD, stop!” You screamed.

Everything happened so fast that you couldn’t even hide behind the car: all three of them took three semiautomatic rifles from the duffle bags and pointed them at you.

“Gun!” Roman screamed, hiding behind the car just in time; you tried to do the same, but you were in a worst position, and you had to do all the way around the car to hide. You really tried to do it in time, but you found yourself on the ground before you could do it.

Roman didn’t noticed it at the beginning, he called for help on the radio and he returned fire.

“10-1, 10-1, shots fired at the police! Three offender wearing black balaclava. We need backup!” He said, turning around to make sure that you were okay; when he didn’t see you, he became pale, and you screamed your name. “Y/n! Where are you?”

He looked around and he finally saw you on the ground, on the other side of the car, breathing hardly and with blood all over you. “Y/n!” He grabbed you from your vest and he dragged you behind the car, grabbing the radio.  “Officer down! Officer Down! I need an ambo at my location right now, my partner had been shot!”

You looked at him, pain all over your body. You saw how worried he looked, and you immediately understood that it was bad, really bad.

“Y/n, stay with me please, stay with me!” He took of your vest, applying pressure on your chest where the bullet hit you somehow. “Help is on its way, stay with me please. No, no, no…” He said, seeing that you were losing consciousness; you wanted to say something, but you didn’t have the strength to do that. You passed after some minutes and all you remembered after that was darkness.

At the district, in the meantime, Jay was coming down the stairs when he was stopped by Sergeant Platt, who looked worried as hell; she almost looked like she aged ten years in just few minutes and it wasn’t a good sign, not at all.

“Halstead!” She screamed in panic. “Go upstairs and call down the whole Unit now!”

Jay, confused, began to buzzed himself up with his handprint. “What happened?”

“Y/n’s been shot. Now get Voight!”

Jay thought that the world went down; it was like a nightmare. He rushed upstairs, catching everyone’s attention. “Voight! Y/n’s been shot!”

He was desperate, he couldn’t think straight and all he was doing was hoping that you would have been alright, that it wouldn’t have been too much bad. He let Hailey drive, knowing that he wasn’t in the right mood to do it; Hailey was the only one that knew everything about you and Jay, she knew that Jay was falling in love with you, and she knew that he must had been difficult for him. She drove as fast as she could, arriving at the scene just few minutes after. Jay got out of the car immediately and he ran towards Roman and you.

When he saw you on the ground covered with blood, he almost passed out too. It was too much to handle, it was too much heartbreaking seeing you in that state and, worst of all, the ambulance hadn’t arrived yet.

“What the hell happened?!” He asked Roman, taking off his own jacket and pushing him aside to be able to apply pressure on her wound with his jacket. A towel would have been better but that was the best he had with him.

“There were three guys! We didn’t know they were armed; I hid behind the car, and I returned fire, then I looked for her and I found her on the ground. The bullet went through her vest. The offenders ran away in a black SUV with no plate when I stopped shooting at them… I needed to help her.”

Jay looked at your face and cried; he didn’t notice that at the beginning, but he did when he saw you being brought on the ambulance, with Roman at your side. He wanted to come with you, he really wanted to follow you inside the ambulance, but he couldn’t. He didn’t want to let Voight know that he was to much invested: he wanted to catch the guys that shot you and he would have at any costs.

“You’re crying, Jay. Hide your tears if you want to work on this case.” Hailey told him, whispering to his ear when she saw Hank Voight arriving at the scene too. Jay wiped away his tears, took a deep breath, smiled softly at Hailey as a thank you, and he turned around to face his sergeant.

“What happened?” Hank asked, looking at them and at the stain of blood that there was on the road, where you were till few minutes earlier.

“Three guys, wearing black hoodies and black balaclavas, they robbed the bar and shot at Roman and y/l/n when they arrived. Roman responded to fire but he let them go when he discovered that y/l/n got shot. He covered her and saw the guy running away in a black SUV. No plate.”

“The bullet got trough her vest.” Added Hailey. “She was hit in the chest, and she didn’t look great.”

Voight looked away from the blood stain and looked at his detectives.  

“I want everyone in the unit to look after these bastards, am I clear? They hit one of us and they’ll regret it.” He said, firmly. He looked at Jay and Hailey, then at Kim, Adam and Kevin that went to ask some questions to the bar clients in case they heard or saw anything important. “I want the videos of all the security camera in this block. Find the SUV, find them. They must have left a trace behind themselves. And let me know everything about Y/n state, okay? Now let’s go, we have three offenders to catch.”

Jay really wanted to catch the guys that shot you, but he also wanted to be by your side, he wanted to go to the hospital and make sure that you would have been fine, he wanted to be there for you. He just couldn’t forget you on the ground, covered with your own blood, unconscious. It shouldn’t have happened to you, and he should have been by your side, not in the district doing some paperwork.

“We can stop at the hospital for a moment if you want to.” Hailey whispered while Jay and her were walking towards the car. “Just ask me and I will bring you to see her.”

Jay nodded, sitting in the passenger seat and looking out of the window; he really wanted to know how you were, he really wanted to see you, hoping that there will have been good news for him. He just couldn’t lose you, not since he hadn’t told you yet that he loves you, not since he needed you by his side, he needed to see you smile at him, he needed to hug you and kiss you.

Why that happened to you? Why you of all people?

At the hospital the only thing you discovered was that you were still having a surgery and that your conditions were critical; he also found Will his brother, in the hallways and he immediately stopped him, asking him to let him know if anything changed. He wanted to be the first one to now if something happened to you, he wanted to know about the surgery and about your condition as soon as it was possible. Will reassured him, but Jay was still worried as hell.

Back at the district, everyone was working hard on the case, trying to identify the offenders, and trying to understand what really happened. Why they robbed a normal bar? Why they used guns for just some cash?

Something wasn’t right about it and Jay was sure about that.

“Okay, we found some bullets on the road and ballistic identify them. They used Armor-piercing bullets, that’s why the vest didn’t stop them.” Kim said, placing a pic of you on the with board as well as the photo of the bullets found on the scene.

“What? Who were these guys? Armor-piercing bullets are not that easy to find.” Adam noted, looking at the photo from his desk. “Why bring those kind of weapons just for a robbery in a normal bar?”

“It can be just that.” Pointed out Jay, shaking his head. “Are we sure that they only robbed the money from the register?”

Voight nodded slightly and looked at them. “Burgess, Atwater, go get the owner of the bar, they have to know something. Bring them here and put them in the interview room. Ruzek search everything that you can found about the owner, everything. Halstead, Upton, i want you two focused on the black SUV.”

“Copy that Sarge”

They worked on the case for hours and hours and finally they identified the offenders and the reason why they choose to rob that bar, which was just a good cover for diamonds trafficking. When Jay caught the guys that shoot at you, he felt angrier. He really wanted to kick him, to beat him up, to put a gun to his head. He wanted revenge, he wanted revenge because you were still fighting for your life inside the hospital.

“Jay, Jay stop!” Hailey tried to stop him, she really did, but Jay didn’t listen to her. He broke down him and he started to hit him in the face again, and again, and again till someone stopped him.

“Stop it, Jay!” Adam kept him away, while Voight looked at him from distance; he noticed that Jay was different during that case but he didn’t think about that possibility, he didn’t think that one of his detective dated one of his patrolmen without him knowing. He immediately recognized the signs with Ruzek and Burgess at the time but he didn’t with Jay and you.

Before he could even try to talk to him, Jay got a call from his brother and he immediately answered.

“Will, how’s she?” He asked, feeling his heart beating hard and fast. He couldn’t even breathe normally, he just couldn’t think normally. He was so scared and the only thing he wanted was to see your eyes open again, your smiled on your face.

“She woke up, Jay.” Will told him. “And she asked for you.” He added.

Jay’s smile spread all over his face, happy to hear that. He was really worried and he was scared for you, but knowing that you would have been okay made him feel better again, made him feel alive again.

“I’m coming.”

He didn’t ask for permission, nor he asked Hailey to drive, he just told Kevin to bring Hailey back at the district and he ran outside, towards the car; arriving at the hospital was probably the longest drive he ever did, with all the anticipation of being by her side again.

He ran towards your room and, when he saw Roman in front of it, Jay immediately gulped and looked at him. “I’m here for y/l/n.” He said, using your last name to be discreet and to still hide your relationship, knowing how much you wanted to become a detective of the intelligence.

“Don’t worry Halstead… I already know about you. Just get in there, you are the first think she asked about after she woke up.”

Jay felt his heart beating fast, nodding slightly and thanking Roman for what he said and what he did, stating with by your side all the time. “Thank you, Sean.”

The police officer just nodded, then he walked away towards the vendine machine while Jay entered your room. You were there: laying down on the bed, pale but with a small smile on your lips.

“I heard you were worried about me.” You said, smiling softly and taking his hands in yours; Jay smiled in response and he took a seat next to your bed. “Maybe I should got shoot more often.” You joked, caressing his hand softly.

Jay chuckled and shook his head, then he kissed your hand and he smiled wider.

“That’s my detective chuckles!” You said, making him laugh and smile even more.

God, that’s why he loved you.

“Don’t you dare to do such a joke anymore, okay?” He whispered, caressing your hand. “I can’t have an heart attack every time you got shot.”

“And why not? I love to see you worried about me, you know?” You really was somehow relieved knowing that he was worry about you, because you hoped that it was a sign of his feelings for you.

“Oh yeah? Seeing the love of your life covered with her own blood isn’t that good, you know.”

You froze, looking at him with tears in your eyes; he didn’t even think about what he said and, at first, he didn’t realize it till he saw tour face. He tried to apologize, thinking that you didn’t love him back, but he was interrupted by your hand on his mouth.

“Don’t you dare to say anything.” You whispered, afraid that he would have took it back. “I love you too and know please get up and kiss me because I can’t bend over to you.”

Jay didn’t make you repeat again, he smiled, got on his feet and he bent on your bed, placing his lips on yours in a deep and sweet kiss.

You both dis it without thinking, you were just too happy, too involve in the moment that you didn’t notice the rest of the unit, as well as Voight, outside of your room.

But you didn’t care about it, you didn’t care about his “No in-house romance”, you didn’t care about it.

All that matters for you both was to be together, as a couple.

“Secret revealed.” You whispered to his ear, seeing all his colleagues outside the room.

“I don’t care. I won’t stop loving you just for his stupid rule. I don’t care about anything but you, babe.”

“I love you, Jay.” You whispered. “But next time, tell me about your feelings before getting shot, okay?”

He laughed with you, nodding.

“Deal?”

“Deal.”

[teaandfiction-28]

Happy Sunday Lovely Readers! 💛

We are halfway through Turn Back Time 🤯 This has most definitely been the most challenging of the three books to write, simply because I haven't had as much time to spend writing so I very much appreciate those of you who still like/comment/interact with these stories.

Chapter Fifteen is taking shape and is titled For Old Time's Sake...a little sneak peak below the cut if you're interested 😉

Their assessment of their suspect’s evasion techniques was cut short when Trudy appeared in the doorway of the garage. 

“The tap you put on the girlfriend’s phone just payed off. He wants her to meet him at the Red Bridge tonight at ten o’clock.”

It wasn’t a venue Kate was familiar with but, from the knowing look that Trudy shared with Hank, she could only assume that there was a case file somewhere with at least one member of the intelligence unit’s name attached and thankfully she didn't have to wait much longer before Hank confirmed her thoughts.

“Years back, Antonio got into some hot water with a diamond dealer.” Hank explained, casting a withering glare at Ruzek who looked as though Christmas had come early. “Case led us to a sex club called the Red Bridge.”

“A sex club?” Kate clarified, both brows lifting in surprise at the thought of the experienced ex-vice detective managing to get himself tangled in a web of debauchery that, given the nature of his day job, he was all too familiar with. 

“It’s a place where people go to have se-“

“Yeah, gathered that Ruz.” She interrupted with a roll of her eyes. “What I meant was what kind of sex club are we talking here?”

“Membership only.” Jay replied with a casual shrug, confirming her assumption that he had been one of the detectives leading point on the last undercover gig. “Light BDSM, swingers, power play…but mainly just Chicago’s elite paying a small fortune to indulge in their kink for voyuerism.”

It seemed that Chicago was no different to any other city she had policed over the last decade in that it was often the richest and most prominent members of society who deemed themselves important enough that they needn't be concerned with abiding by the law.

“I’m guessing that there’s a number of Chicago dignitaries on that membership list preventing us from getting a warrant?” She asked with a huff of irritation, shaking her head in disbelief when Hank dipped his chin into a nod. 

“Well this girl clearly means somethin’ to him if he’s meeting her instead’a gettin’ his ass  outta town.” Kevin said, folding his arms across his hulking chest and Kate had to admit, the same thought had crossed her own mind the moment Trudy mentioned Dolan’s  contact with his girlfriend. After narrowly avoiding capture on not one but two occasions, there weren’t many people who would chance their luck one more time in the name of a quick screw. 

“Clearly she’s the one if he’ll risk it all to have her with him.” Kim offered, a rosy blush staining her ivory cheeks when Adam glanced over at her with a wry smile, the two of them sharing a moment before Hank cleared his throat and Kim’s eyes dropped back to the floor. 

“That or he’s more of an idiot than we thought.” He grumbled, once again questioning his life choices when he caught Burgess and Ruzek sharing lovelorn looks at one another instead of focusing on the task at hand. “We’re gonna need to get some eyes inside.”

“Yeah but we’ve all been burned.” Jay said, scrubbing an irritated palm over his sweaty forehead. “Dolan’s gonna bolt the second he sets eyes on us.” 

“I haven’t.” 

Kate had been dropping off Alexis at daycare when Kevin, Adam and Kim had pinned Dolan down at a bar in Rogers Park and both she and Kevin had been watching the front of the house earlier when Jay and Hailey barricaded him in his backyard before he’d managed to flee. It wasn’t lost on Hank that this was the first time that Kate had willingly offered to take a UC assignment since the incident with Pulpo but he couldn’t be sure if it was because she was the only member of the unit Dolan wouldn’t recognise or because she genuinely felt ready but, regardless of her intentions, he was quick to dispel any discussion around the prospect of sending her in alone.

“You’re not going in solo.”

“Who said anything about going solo?” She retorted and for a moment he wondered if she was going to suggest drafting in young Torres for the assignment but, from the impish quirk of her lips, it soon became apparent just whom it was that she was suggesting as her UC partner. 

“How ‘bout it Sarg? For old time’s sake?”

[felicitysmoaksx]

“i won’t stop until you let me take care of you!” “alright fine! fine! you can!”

The Halstead Sisters

So this was not a prompt I was expecting to get, but I hope you enjoy it anon! Set way, way into the future of It Was a One Night Stand Until I Woke Up Next to You with Jay and Kim's daughters. In this universe, Kim still adopts Makayla, but with Jay instead of Ruzek.

“Mom would say you’re acting like Dad.” Makayla sang into Penny’s ear, trying to ease her sister’s rigidness as she helped her little sister walk into the ED of Chicago Med. She waved a little at the head of the hospital, Mrs. Lockwood before she lowered Penny into a wheelchair. “Honestly Detective Penny Halstead, you dodge bullets for a living and you're scared to go to the doctor? When Uncle Will and I are both doctors?”

“Dr. Ward?” Even though Mak’s name had been officially changed to Ward-Halstead when Mom and Dad had adopted her, (Honestly, she couldn’t remember much of her childhood before that except for the odd night terror that still lingered in her subconscious. At least according to their head of psychiatry, Dr. Reese) she went by Dr. Ward at the hospital to keep the confusion down with her Uncle Will. She turned to see Mrs. Lockwood looking a little concerned. “Is your sister okay?” 

“I’m okay Mrs. Lockwood. It’s just a little stomach ache. My big sister is just being overly cautious.” Penny assured Makayla’s boss, even though she was doubled over in pain in the wheelchair. Makayla rolled her eyes as she shook her head slightly. 

“Eyes,” Penny scolded lightly, giving the perfect imitation of their mother before the charge nurse: Terrence Boden came to wheel her to a treatment room. 

“Can you page one of the Dr. Rhodes? I can’t remember if it’s Reese or Lucas that’s on call tonight, but I think it’s possible appendicitis, but I couldn’t formally diagnose it.” 

“Terrence, page Dr. Rhodes senior. Tell him it’s an emergency. If Dr. Ward’s diagnosis is correct, I want the hybrid OR prepped and ready to go just in case.” 

“Got it,” Terrance nodded, handing Penny off to another nurse as he went to grab the ED phone. Makayla turned to her boss, “You think we can’t wait?”

Mrs. Lockwood pushed a greying lock of hair out of her eyes. Her hair had just started to grow back after her last round of chemo therapy. “I’ve learned with appendicitis cases, it’s best not to try and push it. Do you know how long she has been like this?” 

“The person she had been seeing lately, called me a little while earlier. Said I might want to check on her, because Penny wasn’t listening to them about going to the hospital so I don’t know.” 

“Best to air on the side of caution then.”

[b-radley66]

Upcoming Chicago PD fic - My Kind of Town

PD and original characters. A lighter moment.

“So what’s next for you?” Nina asks Kim. 

“I may go in as a customer. Either that or a homeless person.”

Kevin and Hailey look at one another, then smirk. Kim narrows her eyes at both of them. 

“What?” she asks. 

Neither one of them reply; they just continue to smirk.

“Out with it, ingrates,” she says. 

Another voice joins them from the office. “It could be those damned pink pens you use, Burgess,” Hank Voight says, an unfamiliar merriment in his voice. 

Kim looks at him in triumph. “Are you saying I’m a girly-girl, Sarge?”

“I would never say that, Officer Burgess. If you do go on the streets, just make sure you use some of Ruzek’s Eau de Residentially Challenged.” 

“Oh, I intend to. I might even use some of his clothes. And I may not brush my teeth for a week.”

“You can tell she was O’s partner once,” Kevin says. Nina detects a pause in the levity, but not for long, for their fallen comrade Alvin Olinsky.

Kim looks at Kevin. “Of course, Kev will be my date for any undercover stuff at the bar,” she says. 

Hailey snorts. “What? I’m not good enough for you, Princess?”

“Maybe the second date,” Kim intones. Hailey blows her a kiss.

Nina smiles inwardly, having never seen or heard this crew, including their boss, be this light.

“Can I see you for a moment, Counselor?” she asks. He smiles at her, then turns into his office. 

She catches all three of the cops sharing a smirk, then turning to her. She raises her eyebrow in a question.

“You thought he was pissed at you, didn’t you?” Hailey asks. 

[kamryn1963]

Chicago PD fanfic

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Chicago PD (TV) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Major Character Death Characters: Hank Voight, Erin Lindsay, Trudy Platt, Alvin Olinsky, Antonio Dawson, Kevin Atwater, Kim Burgess, Adam Ruzek, Jay Halstead, Hailey Upton Additional Tags: Snapshots, Reflection, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Angst, Sad Ending, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Stabbing, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Kidnapping, Racism, Panic Attacks, I Don't Even Know, Intelligence Unit as Family (Chicago PD)

Summary:

Snapshots through the years, as Hank watches the job slowly destroy his team one by one.

Notes: This was a little hard to tag but I tried my best. This is also a new formatting I'm trying with snapshots, so I hope everyone is able to follow/understand it okay.

Enjoy!

Hank had only been running the Intelligence unit for two months when Jules Willhite was murdered. That’s the first time Hank saw his team start to fracture. He saw how the grief affected them all, specifically Antonio and Erin. 

How more arguments and disagreements started happening through his unit, more accusations. Less trust and his fragile team he’d started building, started splitting. 

And that was just the beginning of the end. That first year was hell for all of them. 

First Jules was killed, then Diego was kidnapped, Antonio was shot and nearly lost his life, then Jin was killed. And each time his team suffered the price. 

… 

Erin. 

Hank had always been proud of Erin. How she turned her life around from when he met her as a tennager, and became a great cop, a detective he was proud of. And then Gregory Yates happened. Hank watched as Erin slowly spiraled. First Nadia’s death then Bunny back in her life. Hank tried, but Erin was too far gone, too far in Bunny’s grasp and her grief. 

Even when she eventually came back to Intelligence Hank still saw the haunted look in her eyes that never seemed to leave. 

Soon Justin would be dead and a year later Erin gone. One of Hank’s greatest fears had come true and he saw how the job destroyed Erin like he always feared. 

And he’d been too late. Too late to fully save Erin. Maybe New York would be good for her. That’s all Hank could hope for. After she stopped answering his messages and calls he hoped she’d just found a better life. 

… 

Trudy. 

Trudy had always been the strongest of them. Out of Hank, Trudy and Alvin, Trudy had always been the one who could bounce back the quickest. 

Even as they got older and Trudy suffered a career ending injury and was forced to desk duty, she was always a force to be reckoned with. So finding her about to kill the man who murdered her father, shook Hank a bit. She’d never been involved in that sort of revenge the same as Hank and Alvin were. 

“He killed my dad”. Trudy sobbed and Hank could only hold her. 

“I know, I know he did, Dee. But you wouldn’t be able to live with yourself”. Hank knew he couldn’t. 

Trudy wasn’t the same headstrong woman he’d known for almost thirty years after that.

… 

Alvin. 

The next person Hank watched the job completely destroy was Alvin. Hank had been watching the live drain from Alvin’s eyes for years. There wasn’t much of a spark there when they met and Hank had just seen it dim as the years went on. 

After that day with Pulpo, Alvin had never been the same. After Lexi was killed, Hank was honestly surprised Alvin didn’t kill himself. 

Hank had seen the way Alvin would look at his gun, with longing almost, in his eyes. Hank started taking Alvin’s gun at the end of the day even though Alvin would never hand over his backup no matter what Hank said or threatened. Hank and Meredith came to an understanding that year as Hank was over there so much making sure Alvin had survived the night. 

Over the next year Alvin turned into a shell of himself, a man Hank barely recognized anymore. And he hated it. So much. 

So he wasn’t surprised when Alvin took the blame for Bingham’s death. Alvin was loyal, always had been, but Hank knew it wasn’t just that. 

“I got this, man”. Alvin rasped but as Hank looked into his dying best friend’s eyes, he knew the words were full of shit. 

“I know, they're going to fix you up, your-your going to be alright”. 

Lies

Lies

Lies

… 

Antonio. 

Hank’s not sure how he missed it. That Antonio was doing drugs. But there he was holding Antonio as he cried and tried to explain what had happened, how he’d developed an addiction to painkillers. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay”. Is all Hank could mutter as Antonio cried. 

But it wasn’t okay, it never was. 

Hank watched as Adam was arrested for Antonio’s crime and good god did he want to shake Adam for doing something so stupid like following in Alvin’s footsteps. 

Adam got home safely in the end but Antonio resigned and was gone before Hank could even convince him to stay. Maybe it was for the best. 

Another cop this job had destroyed.

… 

Kevin. 

Hank knew this wasn’t the first time Kevin experienced racism. And that it wouldn’t be the last. But that doesn’t mean Hank didn't see how it affected him. 

Antonther member of his team was shot, injured that year. Hank saw the fire dim in Kevin’s eyes after that. Even when things had quieted down Hank knew the damage was done. 

Kevin still came to work everyday, did his job but Hank was stuck watching another one of his cops, who had the potential to be a great police officer, suffer.

… 

Kim. 

Since Kim joined Intelligence, Alvin’s words that day were always at the front of his brain. 

“This job is going to rip her heart out and I don’t want a front row seat”. 

Alvin was right. It had. And Hank had the front row seat to watch it all. Sometimes over alcohol while feeling miserable for himself in his empty house, Hank thought about Kim. How eager she’d been to join Intelligence. Her smile that day in the hospital, stitches in her face when he offered her Erin’s empty spot. And her smile again the second time he offered her a spot in Intelligence and she accepted his offer. 

How that eagerness and her smile faded as the years went on. 

Instead of Alvin, Hank had to watch as this job destroyed another one of his cops, how PTSD slowly turned her into a hardened cop. Hank didn’t want that, not another cop with a bright spirit hardened by the force. 

Kim eventually came back to work, but Hank knew this might’ve just been something she couldn’t fully put behind her. 

… 

Adam. 

Adam. He’d been too naive, too wild and immature and Hank wasn’t surprised when it didn’t last long. He thinks it might’ve been his arrest that fully mellowed Adam out. Maybe Alvin’s death. 

Hank just knew that putting Adam undercover with the Beck’s years later was one of his biggest regrets. 

“I don’t have PTSD”. Hank had almost laughed when Adam said that. 

“You need to get help, Adam”. They’d met up later over a drink after the case was closed and Adam had talked to Kim.

“I’m fine, Boss”. Adam replied avoiding eye contact. 

“You're not fine. You need help”. Hank left soon after that. There was no point in going back and forth, Hank had learned that a long time ago. 

Hank couldn’t lose another one. Not Adam. 

… 

Jay. 

Hank wanted to say he was surprised when Jay handed in his resignation but part of him wasn’t. He headed to the airport hoping to catch Jay before he boarded his plane. 

Hank knew there was no changing Jay’s mind so he just stuck his hand out. Jay looked at it for a moment before shaking it. 

“Stay safe”. There’s so much Hank wanted to say. But he couldn’t. He didn’t think Jay would want to hear it so Hank didn’t even bother. 

“I’ll try”. Jay replied and they exchanged a nod before Jay walked away. 

Another member of his team, his family, is gone. 

… 

Hailey. 

Hank knew he dragged her down with him. Jay had been right that night. After Roy, she changed. A shell of herself and Hank knew it was his fault. As much as he tried telling himself that he had tried to get her to leave, and she chose not to, he knew it was his fault. 

“Hailey?” Hank asked as he walked into the locker room finding Hailey having a panic attack as Jay tried to calm her. 

They both looked up at him as he spoke. Jay glared before turning back to his wife while Hailey just stared at him before gasping for breath again. 

“I’m fine, I’m fine”. Hailey mumbled as she shrugged Jay’s hand up and sat up, wiping her tears. 

Hank didn’t say anything as Jay aimed his glare back at him. Hank just nodded before heading back to his team. He’d clearly caused enough damage. 

He destroyed Hailey like he’d destroyed Alvin, Erin, Antonio, Kim, Adam, Jay. 

Maybe it wasn’t just the job. 

… 

Hank. 

The job had been slowly killing him longer than Hank would admit. The long years of watching others suffer, knowing you were failing the people you are in charge of. Losing Camille than Justin, Erin, Alvin, Noah, had all taken its toll on Hank. But he couldn’t complain because it was his fault. . 

Hank could only hope, tied to a chair in whatever warehouse he’d been brought to, that Trudy would look after the unit. Take better care of them than Hank could. 

“You have one call, Voight”. Frank Matson said as he reentered the room where Hank was slowly bleeding to death from the three stab wounds he’d already sustained. 

“Go to hell”. Hank refused to make a call. He wouldn’t do that. His team had already suffered enough and even if calling meant they’d be able to track the call and find him, Hank wouldn’t risk their lives again. 

“You know I’ve been watching you. You're all alone”. Hank turned Matson out as he looked down at his shirt that was slowly soaking through with blood. 

Matson wasn’t wrong. 

His silence seemed to tick Matson off as he was in front of him with the knife again. This time Hank fought unintentionally injuring himself further. Or maybe it was intentional. Before Matson got tired of his refusal and lured a member of his team into danger. 

As the world went dark and Hank’s head lolled forward, he knew he was another person who this job had destroyed. Hank didn’t like thinking of his first few years on the job. The bittersweet memories of his family. But one thing Hank knew is he was happier back than. 

It wasn’t just the job that destroyed his team. It was Hank. He knew he couldn’t blame the job anymore. Hank hadn’t protected them as much as a sergeant should and they all paid the price. 

Hank’s final thought was that maybe the team would finally heal now. 

[kanerallels]

Burzek + fake dating AU, please?

Hehehehehehehehe

Looking back, it was a dumb idea. Adam knew that now.

He’d been telling Kim, earlier that day, about a friend of his who’d proposed to his girlfriend at a restaurant recently. She’d accepted, there had been laughter and tears— “And best of all,” he’d told Kim, “they got free dessert.”

She’d snorted as she paid for their coffee. “That’s the best part?”

“Yeah. Who doesn’t love free food?”

“Fair enough,” she said, laughing. “We should give that a shot sometime, in that case.”

Why not? Adam had thought. They had dinner together pretty frequently as it was. And it was silly, but still. After what they saw on a daily basis, he figured they deserved a little silliness.

So they went out to dinner. Adam did the whole proposal thing, Kim actually teared up—the woman’s commitment to the bit never failed to impress him and accepted with delight. The restaurant goers got a good story, and they got their free dessert. Win-win all around.

Except. As it turned out. They were not the only members of the Chicago Police Department at that restaurant on that particular night. Adam was pretty good friends with Detective Fahey from Homicide. Unfortunately, the guy really didn’t know when to keep his mouth shut. Because by the time Adam got into work the next morning, everyone in the entire CPD seemed to know that Adam Ruzek and Kim Burgess were engaged. Again.

Everyone seemed to have opinions about this, most of them being “about dang time”. Platt was giving him the “what exactly is going on here Ruzek” side eye—one of his least favorite side eyes—so Adam decided it was time to extricate himself from all the congratulations and go find Kim.

She was in the locker room, sitting on the bench, her head in her hands. Adam winced as he approached. “Hey,” he said. “So, I guess you heard the good news.”

“Not funny,” Kim muttered, looking up at him. “I can’t believe Fahey told everyone.”

“Yeah, he’s not one for subtlety. I would have told everyone that it was a misunderstanding, but I figured I should talk to you first. Also, I think there’s a possibility we’ve gone viral.”

Kim snorted without any real amusement. “That figures. I…honestly don’t know how we’re going to get out of this. Everyone is really convinced.”

Scratching at his chin, Adam thought for a minute. “Well…I guess the simplest option is to not get out of it? Hear me out,” he added as Kim flashed him a bewildered look. “If we just pretend like we actually did get engaged for a while, then break it off, that’ll be a lot less messy than explaining to everyone.”

“True,” Kim said with a sigh. “It’s a little awkward, considering our history, but…we can make this work, right?”

“Absolutely,” Adam told her, and he believed it. Pretending to be engaged to Kim would be easy.

Remembering that it was just pretend, considering he’d been in love with her for years? That might be a little harder.

[gregorygerwitz]

Burzek + the Hockey AU

The first time Adam Ruzek put on skates and stepped onto ice was when he was eight years old, and he never wanted to leave it. He wanted to keep skating, and learn to play hockey as well as his father did, and maybe go all the way to the NHL. That was the first dream he ever had, to play for the Blackhawks one day, even if he wasn’t quite tall enough to use a full size stick yet.

Enthusiasm alone could only get him so far, but that’s what he had a coach and a team for. As soon as he was old enough, his dad signed him up for a club team at the local rink. It wasn’t much, and the team didn’t win many of their games, but he had fun, and he liked coach Olinsky, and he was getting better. All the practice and games, even if they didn’t always end the way they wanted them to, only helped Adam hone his skills.

So, he played through all of middle and high school, learning everything that his coaches had to teach him. When he graduated, college wasn’t exactly his top priority. He wanted to keep playing the game, keep getting better at it, maybe put his name in for the draft. He didn’t quite get that far with it.

He still trained, still spent three hours at the rink, four days a week, running drills and practice shots against the same coach he’d had since he was ten. The encouragement helped, between picking up shifts at one of the food stands at the arena for cash, and he kept all the enthusiasm he’d had for a decade of his life. Eventually, it actually got him somewhere.

Specifically, it got him into a grey and red jersey for the Chicago Mice.

The team had a record that was actually worse than any of the ones from his teen years. They had never won a single trophy. Their playing had been getting better, but they were still far from even reaching for a title. But it was a place to start.

Kimberly had her entire life turned upside down when she was barely a teenager. Her last name was changed, she was moved to the other side of the city to live in what was basically a mansion, she had her entire wardrobe thrown out and replaced with things that would be perfect for the cameras that would follow her around. It had all seemed so silly, living with the Gerwitzes, acting as though they were family when she only shared blood with two of them.

She was a bandage, something to cover the blemish that Gregory III’s affairs brought upon his reputation. She was there to look pretty at events, with her hair done perfectly and her dress some brand new design with a name attached. She was there to get good grades and be the polite little sister to a brother she had to real introduction to before he was driving her to and from school every day. She was there to go to dance lessons that she didn’t want and apply to college programs she wanted even less.

When her father bought a hockey team - just another thing for Greg to inherit instead of her, she was sure - she made a decision. if this family, the one that was supposedly hers, was going to upend her life to pull her into theirs, then she was going to make sure she was an active part, not just an accessory.

She went to watch the Mice play whenever she could get a ride to the arena, even if it meant taking the bus. She cheered louder than anyone on the rare occasions they scored. She made sure the cameras saw her being as loud and as enthusiastic as Thelma Gerwitz made sure she knew she shouldn’t be. She was supporting her father’s latest business endeavor, after all, when her brother would rather be fooling around with boys under the bleachers and lying about how much time he spent fencing.

After high school, she didn’t waste any time. Kim applied to the same business program that Greg had been studying for two years, and made it in, and that was just the start of her master plan. After graduating in less than three years, only missing getting to receive a degree at the same time as her brother buy a few months, things were moving along even faster than she intended them to. But there was a job available at the family business - not something menial like secretarial work, of course, that wasn’t exactly becoming for a Gerwitz, but she wasn’t exactly running things, either.

She ran the schedule - or a version of it. She made the calls that got them better seats on flights, and nicer rooms in hotels at a discount, and that was her routine for every business conference or executive visit. She was in charge of flights and hotels and restaurant reservations, occasionally making extra calls to a few driving companies in the city to ensure there were rides for their visitors everywhere and they didn’t have to arrange them themselves. And she was good at it. But it left her with quite a bit of free time.

All that meant was that she could go back to her old routine. There were still Mice games to catch now that she wasn’t too busy with studying anymore, and she could actually go to them without worrying if she’d have a ride home afterwards.

And, if the first game she caught after settling into her new job happened to be the first time she’d ever seen them actually win, with the winning goal scored by a rookie she’d never seen play before, maybe she could consider that a sign of good things to come. 

[torreshalstead]

Your eyes in my life - Chapter 22

Summary - The night of Kim’s final layover as a flight attendant ended with a one night stand with a stranger she met across a bar. 6 years later, that same stranger walked into the 21st District and was assigned as her new Rookie and her life was thrown upside down. She hadn’t seen Adam since that night in LA. But she saw his eyes every day. In the eyes of their daughter.

Chapters - 22/23

Chapter Summary - Kim has an important conversation and then Adam finally takes her out on a date. AO3 Link

‘Sarge, you got a minute?’ Kim said as she knocked on the doorframe leading to Hank Voight’s office. After her discussion with Adam the night before she needed to let the imposing sergeant know where her head was at.

‘Burgess,’ Voight said looking up from his desk and she was greeted by the rare sight of a Hank Voight smile. ‘Come in.’ He gestured to the empty seat in front of his desk and Kim nodded in understanding, closing the door behind her before taking the offered seat. ‘What can I do for you?’ He asked, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms over his chest.

‘I believe you have already spoken to Detective Lindsay but I just wanted to make it clear,’ Kim said, trying to put on a brave front even though her knee was shaking under the desk. ‘If an opening in Intelligence does become available then I am throwing my hat in the ring Sir.’

‘Are you now?’ He said, raising an eyebrow.

‘I think I would be a good fit with the team, I already know them, work well with them and I’d be an asset Sir,’ she said confidently. She had briefly spoken with Trudy that morning letting her know her plan and she had given her a couple of helpful tips: be honest, be clear but do not sell yourself short. She had tried to take all of her comments on board.

‘Well we have something in common then,’ Voight said, his voice still gruff but the corners of his mouth turning up slightly.

‘We do sir?’ Kim puzzled.

‘I also think you’d be an asset to the team.’

Kim felt her shoulders relax and she all but wanted to swipe her hand across her forehead and say ‘phew’ dramatically like Annabelle did sometimes.

‘I should let you know Sir, I have a 5 year old daughter so there may be some times-’ she started but Voight held up his hand and shook his head.

‘Never mind about that, family comes first Burgess and it always will, so if your kid needs you then you go,’ he said with a warm smile.

‘Thank you sir,’ she said, mirroring the old man's expression.

‘Now I spoke to Platt and she said she would be happy to find someone else to finish off your Rookie’s training as long as that’s okay with you?’ Voight leant forward on the desk with his elbows. They had clearly reached the business part of the meeting.

‘Yes that would be fine, I have already spoken to Ruzek to make him aware that there might be a change,’ Kim nodded. Adam had been supportive of course. It didn’t hurt that her moving upstairs gave them a green light to take the next step towards becoming them, but Kim was certain that even if that wasn’t an option on the table that he would have been just as supportive.

‘Very well then, we will get all the paperwork filed and you can start tomorrow?’ Voight said and Kim smiled excitedly.

‘Tomorrow is good sir,’ she said, standing up and offering him a hand to shake.

‘We look forward to having you on board Burgess,’ Voight said as he shook her hand firmly.

‘Thank you Sir,’ she said before turning on her heel and exiting the office, her fists clenched in excitement at her sides.

She all but ran down to the stairs and skidded to a stop at the front desk.

‘Well a good morning to you Burgess,’ Trudy said with a raised eyebrow as she took in Kim’s wide smile.

‘He gave me the job!’ she exclaimed, almost bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet.

‘Well that’s not a surprise is it,’ Trudy said, feigning uninterest and returning to scribble on the forms in front of her.

‘Love you too Sarge,’ Kim said and pushed herself up over the desk to press a kiss to Trudy’s cheek. ‘Thanks for everything,’ she said sincerely, watching as the Sargeant’s eyes filled with realisation. She wasn’t just thanking her for speaking to Voight, it was everything that had come before. It was a thank you for the support through being a pregnant Rookie, through being a new mom in a difficult job, for being one of the few female sergeant’s in the area and always being someone to turn to. Kim was certain if she hadn't had Trudy in her corner for the past 6 years, she’d have never become the cop she was today. And Kim also knew she hadn’t shown her appreciation nearly as much as she should.

‘Be gone with you, I’ve got work to do,’ Trudy said, shooing her away but Kim saw a glint of a tear in the desk sergeant’s eye. She smiled to herself and headed down the stairs to the roll up.

Glancing around she quickly clocked that no one was around apart from Adam scrolling through his phone leaning against the hood of their car. His eyes lifted briefly and noticed her.

‘So?’ He asked, his eyes wide in question.

‘I got it, I’m going up to Intelligence,’ Kim beamed and Adam laughed loudly.

‘Of course you did!’ He grinned and when she made her way over to him, he wrapped both arms round her, picking her up and spinning them both around. She giggled like a school girl but smacked his arm quickly demanding to be put down and he obliged.

‘So proud of you Kim,’ he professed.

‘Thanks Adam,’ she smiled. ‘Did Trudy speak to you about your new TO?’

‘She’s not got any spare TO’s right now but Atwater has agreed to double up for the last couple of weeks and Tay’s happy too so I’m not stepping on any toes,’ he said with a smile.

‘Atwater is a great TO,’ Kim nodded.

‘Not as good as you I’m sure but it’ll be interesting to see how someone else does things,’ Adam smiled.

‘Suggesting I do things wrong Ruzek?’ Kim crossed her arms and popped her hip.

‘I would never suggest such a thing,’ he winked. ‘But I don’t think I’m going to spend most of my time wanting to make out with Atwater in the car so…’ he tailed off and she swatted him on the arm again in pretend offence.

‘Well I apologise for distracting you,’ she sassed.

‘Never apologise for that darlin’’ he winked again. ‘Does this mean I get to take you out tonight?’ he asked, his grin wide.

‘You can pick me up at 7:30,’ she said over her shoulder as she climbed into the passenger seat. She couldn’t help but grin too. Everything was starting to fall into place.

—————————————————————————

‘So you and daddy are going out without me?’ Annabelle pouted as Kim tucked her in.

‘This is just a dinner for grown ups sweetie, but how about I get him to come give you a kiss when he picks me up?’ Kim suggested, dropping a kiss to her daughter’s forehead and brushing her hair off her face.

‘Okay,’ Annabelle said reluctantly. ‘Do you promise not to have ice cream?’ she asked seriously, crossing her little arms over her chest.

Kim chuckled, ‘we promise.’

There was a knock at the door, ‘I think that’s him so I’ll send him in okay.’ Annabelle grunted in response and Kim took that to mean yes. She wasn’t sure when her 5 year old had turned into a teenager.

‘Hey,’ she said, smiling softly when she opened the door. ‘Don’t you look handsome,’ she said, taking in Adam’s outfit. He had gone for a dark green button down shirt with a dark blue pair of jeans and there wasn’t a crease to be seen.

‘Ironed it just for you,’ he winked, leaning forward to press a kiss to her cheek.

‘I feel so special,’ she grinned. ‘Annabelle would like you to give her a kiss goodnight and also promise that we won’t eat any ice cream tonight.’

‘I think I can do both of those,’ Adam smiled. ‘Oh these are for you,’ he said, pulling a bouquet of flowers from behind his back. ‘I know it’s cheesy but…’ he shrugged.

‘I love them,’ Kim said, happily accepting the pink and purple carnations as Adam headed over to Annabelle’s room.

‘We won’t be home late,’ Kim said, turning to Lia who was sitting on the couch. ‘Thanks so much for doing this for us.’

‘It’s no problem, she’ll be fine, you stay out as late as you want,’ Lia smiled back. ‘Take your time, you deserve it.’

——————————————————————————

‘You said what to her?’ Kim laughed as the pair strolled down the street. Adam had taken her out to the local Italian restaurant which was only two blocks from her apartment, he knew without asking that she wouldn’t want to be far away from Annabelle just in case. The evening had gone wonderfully, it had felt freeing to be able to talk and flirt openly without the worry that someone from the district would walk in - because even if they did, as of today they were doing nothing wrong, just two people enjoying each other's company who were not in the same chain of command.

When Adam had reached across and taken her hand before their entrees were delivered, Kim had felt herself blush like a giddy teenager. He couldn’t take his eyes off her and the constant admiration was sending warmth through her stomach. Kim had spent the last few years feeling like a mom and a cop and nothing else, but tonight when Adam looked at her like that, she felt truly special.

They had turned down dessert, a promise made to their daughter was a promise that wouldn’t be broken and Adam had suggested they have a slow stroll back home which was what they were now doing, their hands joined and happily swinging between them.

‘I promised her I would take her on a daddy-daughter date and we would eat nothing but ice cream,’ Adam chuckled, his eyes sparkling under the street lights.

‘So you plan to fill our 5 year old up with sugar and hand her back over to me to deal with the repercussions,’ Kim scoffed.

‘I plan to fill her full of sugar and then bring her back home to you in the house that we share and we will deal with her sugar filled excitement together,’ Adam said seriously, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.

‘That’s marginally better,’ Kim chuckled. Hearing him talk about them living together and sharing a house and a home had quickly become her favourite thing.

‘Have you decided when you want to tell her yet?’ Adam asked, his eyes flicking down as if he had been embarrassed to bring it up.

‘I thought we could tell her together this weekend,’ Kim said, tugging on his hand to bring him back to her. ‘She’s going to be excited for it Adam, I know it’s not the best circumstances to have to make the change, but it’s a good change.’ She smiled, nudging him with her shoulder until he smiled back.

‘I just don’t want her to think I’m making you move, I know how much she loves her room,’ Adam admitted.

‘We will explain it to her,’ Kim said warmly. ‘She wants us all together as much as we do.’

‘And then we are going to tell her about us?’ Adam asked, letting go of Kim’s hand and wrapping an arm around her shoulders instead, bringing her close.

‘I kinda thought she’d figure it out?’ Kim said and when Adam looked down curiously at her continued, ‘well she knows we are her mommy and daddy, she knows we love her, she has seen us holding hands - thanks to her instructions, but I think when we tell her we are living together, she will just then know we are her parents and we care about each other.’

‘I guess so,’ Adam said, nodding in agreement. ‘I guess to say we are dating is probably just as confusing to her.’

‘That was my take anyway, if she asks us about it we can explain but I think she will be happy if she sees us holding hands or hugging, that’s clearly what she thinks parents do,’ Kim shrugged.

Even though they had walked slowly, they had still reached her apartment building quicker than she had wanted.

‘Walk me up?’ Kim asked, looking up at Adam through her lashes.

‘Thought you’d never ask,’ he said with a grin but pulled her back as she started to walk towards the door, ‘but first…’ he said as he leant down and melded his lips to hers. She clutched the front of his shirt, keeping him as close to her as she could, letting herself get lost in the feeling of his lips against hers.

‘I can walk you up now,’ Adam whispered as he pulled back slightly, his breath fanning across her face. She shook her head and dragged his lips back to hers, her hands tangling in his hair and keeping him locked against her. She felt his hands settle on her hips, squeezing tightly and almost lifting her up so she was on her tiptoes. She swiped a tongue across his lips and let out a small giggle when he moaned in response but it was quickly swallowed by Adam’s tongue melting against hers.

It was suddenly 6 years ago in her hotel room in LA, he tasted the same, the feeling of him under her hands was so familiar and the feeling of his hands on her was just as exciting as it had been that night. She pulled back slightly, resting her forehead against him as she regained her breath.

‘Don’t want to get caught for inappropriate behaviour,’ she giggled, pulling back and looking up at him, his eyes wide and his lips slightly swollen from their kiss.

‘It could be fun,’ he said, reaching down to press a soft kiss to her lips again. ‘But no, that wouldn’t be easy to explain at work.’

Kim giggled again, running her fingers over her lips again, ‘not particularly’.

‘Madam,’ Adam said dramatically, pulling back and offering her his hand and a mock bow. ‘Let me walk you up,’ he winked when she placed her hand in his and brought it up to his mouth, pressing a kiss to the skin and letting his lips linger just a moment.

‘Why thank you,’ Kim said, letting herself blush freely. It wasn’t everyday that a man made a woman feel like this, and although she didn’t want the evening to end, she was excited for everything else that was to come. The man who was holding her hand and leading her through the doors to her apartment had given her the world and continued to make her feel like the only woman in the world. And this weekend they would take the next step and tell their daughter they were all moving in together. Although she had told Adam she thought Annabelle would be excited, a part of her was worried about the little girl's reaction. It was a big change and she hoped she had made the best choice for them.

[serenasoutherlyns]

tiebreaker

It reminds her of tasting Prosecco on Margot’s lips the night after they finished their first finals week, and her peppermint chapstick the week after that. It reminds her of waking up in Margot’s bed last year with a throbbing headache she didn’t care about.

a/n: please enjoy my first fic in a loooong time. I started this last summer!! rating M

ao3

@allergictocanon @thinkingisadangerouspastime @kim-ruzek (these are all the people I could think of that might be interested in this?)

Margot’s hand is warm against her shoulder. This makes sense. Every part of Claire is warm, too, the scents of sweat and lavender mixing against her skin. Claire registers, though, the way she seems to burn where Margot’s fingertips linger, a quick joke before the next round. It should be best of three, but Margot always wants to play to six at least, as many until she wins or Claire taps out. Margot’s endurance dwarfs hers, but Claire is precise, rally after rally going her way until she’s panting.

Besides, she can’t find a reason to object to watching Margot grow more intense, her swings going from regulated to uninhibited, she starts to make more sounds with each hit. Her singular focus steadies her voice when she calls out, “Three to three.”

“Let’s call it yours,” Claire laughs.

Margot convinces her to play one more to break the tie. She really can’t stand losing.

It doesn’t feel like she’s lost when Margot reaches to take her racket. There’s a searching in her eyes that blossoms into pure pleasure when Claire admits her defeat, smiling and looking slightly up.

It reminds her of tasting Prosecco on Margot’s lips the night after they finished their first finals week, and her peppermint chapstick the week after that. It reminds her of waking up in Margot’s bed last year with a throbbing headache she didn’t care about.

She’s of half a mind to pull her in by the hem of her shirt, show her what she could really win.

“What is that then, Claire?” Margot says as she makes her way to the racket return. She tosses the ball in the air above her, catching it once, twice, her fingers wrapping around it with certainty. “3 out of the last 4 times?”

“You’re very talented,” Claire says, stretching out the words, stretching her arms above her head, not missing when Margot’s eyes dart to the now-exposed skin at her hip.

“So you admit it,” Margot says.

“I’m no sore loser.”

“Oh don’t lie.”

“Would you rather I tell you just how I plan to kick your ass next time?”

“You can talk about my ass whenever you’d like.”

Margot holds her hand out for the final ball, completing the return to the desk. She starts walking toward the locker room. Claire follows behind.

They walk past a group of older women in swimsuits pulling off their caps. Margot nods and winks to a runner about their age. When they pass a mirror, Claire sees flyaways stuck to her forehead with sweat.

“Lunch?” Margot says as they put water bottles into string backpacks and towel off their sweat.

“I like how you think.”

“Me too,” Margot says.

Claire just rolls her eyes. She admires Margot’s toned arms as she redoes her ponytail.

Lunch is a grilled chicken salad for Claire and a sandwich with roasted red peppers on it for Margot. They eat at a sidewalk table in the early May warmth.

“So what’s new at work?” Claire asks. Margot shrugs and puffs out her cheeks, then exhales. “It’s like it always is,” she says. “Right now I’m second chairing that case with the kids choking on batteries.”

“That’ll make you sleep well.”

“Tell me about it,” she says. “I don’t think I’ll stay much longer. Maybe I’ll get my PhD or something.”

“You’d be a good professor. Could be quite the pay cut, though.”

“Comes along with an hours cut.”

Claire can’t argue with that.

“You?”

Claire sighs. “Honestly, it’s weighing on me recently.” She turns her head down and moves around a piece of chicken. She shrugs.

“So we’re going to be florists then?”

Claire smiles. Margot reaches her hand across to hers and squeezes. Claire holds on for a little longer than is friendly. Margot holds her gaze for long enough to send a message.

It’s so familiar.

Claire’s is on the way to Margot’s place so naturally they begin the walk home together.

“Want to come up for some coffee?”

Margot does, half excited at the prospect of coffee, half something warmer. Claire walks up two steps and takes Margot’s hand.

Once they’re through the door, Claire leans back against it. Margot starts to walk to the kitchen, but Claire doesn’t let go of her hand. Instead, she grabs for the other one. Claire pulls her close.

Her hands meet Claire’s waist without her thinking about it. They kiss like they always have; Claire leaning back into Margot’s hands, skipping gentle and jumping to excited intensity.

Margot pulls back. “What about--“

“He’ll live,” Claire says. Her eyes are dark and her cheeks are flushed.

That’s good enough for Margot. She drops to her knees.

“You’re really, attractive,” Claire says breathily, “When you get competitive.” Her hands find their way into Margot’s hair.

Margot tilts her head back. “I know,” she says. Claire pulls lightly against her scalp.

Margot’s fingers slip under the waistband of her shorts and Claire forgives her cockiness.

“Take your shirt off,” Margot says, looking up.

“Why?”

“Because I asked you to,” Margot says snarkily.

“Why do you want me to take my shirt off, Margot?”

Margot likes hearing her name however it’s spoken, in this case half annoyed half needy.

“Because I like how you look with it off. And your building doesn’t have AC.”

“How sweet,” Claire says.

“I try.”

Claire takes her shirt off. “You win,” she says, and Margot moans.

Later, Margot is stretched out on her stomach on top of Claire’s sheets, her hair a mess and her face relaxed. The start of the sunset lights her warmly. A breeze blows in through the open windows. Claire runs her hand gently from the back of Margot’s neck to her heel. She sighs.

Margot protests when Claire pulls on an oversized t-shirt from the pile on her floor and heads out the bedroom door. When she returns she has two mugs in her hands.

“I offered you coffee,” Claire says. Margot exhales, rolling to the side and facing her. She’s beautiful. Claire hands her a mug. They sip and watch the sunset.

Margot sets her mug on the floor behind her.

“Rematch?” She asks. Claire laughs.

“I think we’re tied.”

Margot shakes her head and her disheveled ponytail swings. “Two out of three, then,” she says.

“Okay,” Claire says. Before Margot knows it her hands are above her head and her neck is being gently bitten. “Bring it on.”

Claire thinks all of their games should end like this.

[fighterkimburgess]

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My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Officer Down

Summary: After an explosion rips through a box truck in a parking lot, Hailey Upton doesn’t wake up immediately.

Words: 2.1k

Warnings: injuries, medical tests, talk of needles and blood.

Wanna join my taglist?

AN: If anyone had “Cíara writes an upstead fic” in their hiatus bingo, let me know. You should probably buy a lotto ticket.

—

The ringing in his ears began to fade as Jay sat up, the world covered in grey smoke. Turning his head too quickly was almost painful, but his mind was focused on one thing. Where was his wife?

“HAILEY!” He screamed, vision finally coming back fully as he looked around. The truck was blown to pieces, twisted scorched metal dotted around the lot. He thought there was a car alarm going off, but he wasn’t sure. “HAILEY!”

There was no response, and Jay made himself stand and survey the scene. She’d been just behind him. But now she was twenty yards away and he was running, losing his balance as he tried sprinting to her with a spinning head and aching heart.

“Hailey, Hailey. Hailey, wake up. Wake up!” She was too still, but her pulse was steady under her too pale skin. He grabbed out his multiway, the Intelligence only radio ignored as he fiddled with the channel.

“50-21 George there’s been an explosion at the parking lot at West Addison and California. 10-1, officer down. Roll an RA to our location right now, she’s unconscious.” His fingers never left Hailey’s neck, her pulse easing his worries. “Hailey, are you with me? Wake up, Hail, c’mon. Wake up.” 

He was too afraid to shake her with the blow she’d taken, worried about how her back could have been injured. Instead with one hand he picked up his secure radio, Voight screaming into it.

“Sarge! Hailey’s been hurt. There was an explosion, I don’t know what’s going on.”

“Is she awake? Jay, is she awake?” He could barely hear his sergeant’s question over the fear in his head but he shook it.

“She’s unconscious. Ambo is on the way, we’re closer to Rush but I’ll get them to bring us to Med. She’s not waking up.”

“It’s Upton, she’s going to be fine. Stay with your wife. We’ll stay on Escano, Hailey needs you.”

“I’ll keep you updated.”

The roar of the ambulance finally arrived, along with CFD’s finest. And in this case he was so lucky it was people he knew from 51 arriving, hoses in hand to knock back the fire from the explosion. Mikami and a stranger came running over with the backboard, shock on Mikami’s face.

“Halstead, what happened?”

“There was an explosion, a case we were working our CI got burned. Hailey got the brunt. Violet…” It was the first time he’d used the paramedic’s first name, and he saw immediately how it affected her.

“You’re coming with us, you’re injured too. I’m assuming you want Med?”

“Please?” Jay never begged, never asked questions, but when it was to get Hailey the best care he’d do anything.

“But Rush is closest to—“ The paramedic he didn’t know began to speak, but Violet interrupted her.

“Detective Halstead’s brother is an attending at Med, and this is said detective’s wife. If we don’t bring her to Med she’ll get transferred across. It’s better continuity of care.” She paused, finishing her survey and putting a c-collar on his still unconscious wife. “Go get the backboard on the other side. STELLA! We need you for a roll.”

Jay watched as one of his wife’s friends came over, dawning horror on her face as she realised it was Hailey lying there.

“Halstead…what…what can I do?”

“Just help her. Please.”

He watched them roll her on and strap her in, the rest of Stella’s truck crew running as gently as possible with Hailey to get her into the ambulance. Jay followed, pats on his back and squeezes to his arm as he got in from the people he knew.

“Let me know what happens,” Stella said, the last one to give him a squeeze as he got in.

See the full post

85 notes - Posted May 26, 2022

#4

Slow Dancing

Summary: At a CFD awards gala, Violet makes a decision to go for what makes her happy.

Words: 1.4k

Warnings: alcohol

Wanna join my taglist?

—

Violet stared at herself in the mirror, eyeliner perfect and her hair in an updo. Sylvie had convinced her to go to a salon for the two of them to get their hair done together before getting ready for the gala. It was the last thing she wanted to do, but she was getting her formal award so she had to turn up. Once the back was on her earring she stood, slipping into her heels. The dark green satin dress hung perfectly, her makeup neat. She’d be fine.

Apart from wishing that her paramedic chief would spend more time with her. But that was never going to happen, he was right. They needed space.

“Are you ready?” Sylvie called, knocking Violet back to orbit. She came out of the spare room, Sylvie on FaceTime to Matt and the boys.

“Here’s my partner who’s getting an award tonight! You look amazing.” Sylvie grinned and handed over a wine glass to Violet, the younger woman looking at the phone screen.

“Hey Casey, Ben, Griffin. Having a good night?”

“It’s only four here, but it’s good. Heading for dinner in a while. Congratulations on the award, you deserve it!”

It was a quick goodbye to them as they were ready to leave, Violet knocking back the last of her wine as the cab driver called to say they were downstairs.

The entire drive she could feel her nerves rise, Sylvie able to tell and holding her hand. It would be fine. It had to be. They walked in together, each receiving drinks tokens and looking around.

“You ok?” Sylvie asked, Violet nodding.

“Fine. I just hate being the centre of attention. But it’ll be fine.”

“You deserve this. Don’t panic.” Boden came up behind her, a hand on her shoulder that nearly made her jump. “Chief Hawkins has been singing your praises about that rescue. He wants you to know you deserve it. We all know you’re a fantastic medic, Violet.”

“Thanks. It means a lot.” The conversations went from there, and as the dinner was served she sat at the table with her shift. Everyone turned up to celebrate her, congratulating her on the award. But once the dry beef and over salted potatoes had been eaten it was time for the awards. Violet was one of three paramedics being awarded, the only one for a resuscitation. She watched Hawkins walk onto the stage, her heart doing a flip flop as she watched him in his well fitting suit and bow tie.

“As Paramedic Field Chief I’ve been honoured to do ride alongs with different paramedics under my tenure. And on my own ride along with Paramedic Violet Mikami I saw just how talented she was. We were called to the birth of a child who wasn’t breathing, and I watched her intubate and revive him after meconium ingestion. He made a full recovery, and in six weeks has gained several pounds and according to his mother is growing like a weed. They named him Joseph Mikami, as a way to honour the paramedic who saved his life. It’s not as impressive as naming an infant after her, but I’m proud that CFD is honouring her with the Clinical Resuscitation Award. Paramedic Violet Mikami, of Firehouse 51!”

The crowd cheered, everyone at the 51 tables standing to clap. She could hear Capp whistling as she walked up, smiling and taking the hand Hawkins offered for a shake. There were several others on the Paramedic Chief level there who she shook with before Hawkins pinned the award to her dress. Flashes popped for photos, Evan’s hand at the small of her back and all Violet could focus on was him beside her, the warmth of his hand through the thin fabric. There was a spark as he touched her and she tried to ignore it, but it was so difficult to do.

Finally she could get off the stage, sitting back down to watch everyone else get their awards. Once the medals were given out it was time for mingling and dancing, and all Violet wanted was to go home. But instead she went to the bathroom for a deep breath and a break.

She knew the step back between them was a good idea, that dating your boss was a bad idea. Or if it was even an ok idea there could be problems. It didn’t stop the heart wanting what it wanted. And what her heart was so desperate for was Evan Hawkins. She’d never felt this way about anyone before, she’d never wanted to even just hold someone’s hand that much.

There was a knock on the cubicle door, and she tilted her head back to blink back the emotions.

“One minute.”

“Take your time, I’m here.” It was Sylvie, and Violet tried to smile at her, but it was a fake smile. “You really like him, don’t you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Hawkins. A blind man could see how the two of you are, and how jealous Gallo is of the two of you. What’s going on?”

Violet shrugged, taking a moment before responding. “I asked if he has feelings. He said we need to take a step back. So I’m taking a step back.”

She studied Sylvie’s face, realising that she’d seen her PIC with a similar look on her face before. Except then it was because Violet had talked to her about Casey.

“I don’t know Hawkins too well, but he’s a Good man. And yeah you can make excuses about his job, your job, all of it. But you both deserve to be happy. And I think that he could make you happy, Partner. I really do.”

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104 notes - Posted January 13, 2022

#3

Coffee At Midnight

Summary: While Sylvie is on furlough, Violet has to deal with floaters. But the final floater makes her think of painkillers, bubbly water, and Goodness.

Words: 1.2k

Warnings: none

—

Walking onto the app floor Violet took a glance at 61, the Leslie Elizabeth Shay memorial shining in the dull January light. It was her final shift with a floater, and she couldn't wait for Sylvie to get back. Her friend was enjoying her time off, and Violet had gotten multiple photos of Sylvie, Casey, and the boys at various Portland landmarks. But dealing with different floaters thanks to the paramedic shortage was killing her slowly.

She made it into the changing room, putting her bag in her locker and pulling back her hair. Once that was done she went to the briefing room, but before she could Boden called her into his office, someone else already there in a paramedic uniform.

"Mikami! As you know there's a serious paramedic shortage right now. Chief Hawkins has agreed to do the shift with you so he can keep 61 on the road. Will that work?"

No. No, no, no, no, no. This was the exact opposite of what Violet wanted to happen. She wanted to forget Evan Hawkins ever existed, the way he'd looked at her after he'd announced Sylvie was funded. But it was hard to do when she looked at his brown eyes and he smiled at her.

"Yeah, sounds good. I can show you around 61 so you can see where everything is?"

"Sounds good. Is there a spare locker I can use?" Violet nodded, and they left to go to the locker room, pointing out the floater locker at the end. He nodded and went to speak, but before he could the bells went off.

It was a busy shift, and she didn't get a chance to talk to him about much as they worked. In and out, restocking and getting everything done. But when they sat in the cab, Hawkins - Evan, as he insisted she called him while they worked - asking how her holidays had been. She shared about it being the first one since her dad had died in the pandemic, that it had been weird but they got through it. He offered condolences, making Violet smile weakly. They stopped to pick up coffees, and he ordered a bubbly water in the drive thru, passing it across. He refused to let her pay for their drinks, waving it off with a smile.

She hadn't felt this way for almost a year, since she and Gallo had first had their thing. But that was long gone, and no matter what Sylvie and Ritter said she didn't have feelings for him anymore. He was a friend, but he annoyed her like a brother and she didn't want to date him again. But with Evan it was different.

She'd joked with Sylvie that a man who gave you bubbly water and painkillers was a man to keep, but finding out everything that he'd done for her while she was in hospital had meant a lot. He'd done it without thinking, leaving the cup for her there. It was one of the sweetest things anyone had ever done for her.

The shift passed both slowly and quickly, and when they got back at eleven he went to sleep in Sylvie's bed. Violet stayed sitting in the common room, watching the room empty as people drifted to the bunks. But she stayed in her seat, a cooling mug of coffee in her hand.

She didn’t know what she wanted anymore. If it was six weeks ago her jealousy over Cara had burned through her stomach, three months ago she’d comforted Sylvie when Casey left for Oregon. But the idea that her feelings could be so muddled and confusing had never entered her mind.

“Penny for them.” Mouch slid over a fresh mug, taking in Violet’s expression. The older man sat next to her, his own mug in his hand.

“I’m fine. Missing Brett.”

“We all do. But you’re different than usual. Spit it out. Something about Gallo?”

Violet laughed, covering her mouth to muffle the sound as Mouch stared at her. That this was her immediate reaction confirmed that she was totally over him. But made her worry more about it.

“Or how working with Hawkins is? Is he a good paramedic?”

“He’s great…can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

Violet took a deep breath, taking a sip before admitting it.

“How bad does it look if you date someone above you in the chain of command?”

It was silent, the only noise from the tv in the background as she watched Mouch process her words. His jaw opened slightly, and Violet waited to hear what he’d say, only slightly terrified of it.

“I’ve seen it happen, successfully. And I’ve seen the same relationship also crumble with it. Casey’s first wife was his candidate and they ended things. Then they got back together. And people looked at them oddly but they made it work. Her being on his truck didn’t end their relationship. Your partner for the day?”

“Maybe.”

“He’s a good guy. His family are good people, I knew his dad for years. If there’s something between you, I think you should go for it.” He stretched, standing up. “I’m going to bed. Enjoy.”

Violet cleaned the mugs, putting them in the dishwasher and heading to the bunk room. She passed Evan’s bed, his arm over his face as he dozed. Getting into bed she put the pillow over face, wanting to yell into it. But as she closed her eyes the bells went off.

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108 notes - Posted January 5, 2022

#2

So, abortion is constitutionally illegal…

Hey, I’m Cíara, and I grew up with a constitutional ban on abortion that wasn’t overturned till 2018. So I know a thing or two about dealing with this. Here’s some tips.

Mutual aid funds. Donate, donate, donate. If you’ve got some spare cash, donate. They help low income pregnant people access abortions and are the easiest way to help provide access quickly.

Women Help is a provider of abortion pills for places where abortion is illegal. It comes in the post and should help.

If you do have a pill abortion and need to seek medical attention - you’re miscarrying. You’re miscarrying a wanted baby. Do all of your searches on incognito mode, delete any abortion related browser history before getting medical help. Will your doctors and nurses mostly want to help you? Yes, but you shouldn’t risk it anyway.

Make a note of states that still have abortion. Illinois passed a bill in 2019 saying that even if Roe or Casey fell abortion would still be legal there. It’s safe there.

Make a list of close to the border abortion clinics. This will be harder for the Great Lakes area (but you have Illinois so that helps). Off the top of my head cities to check out are Vancouver, Calgary, Regina, Winnipeg, Windsor, the GTA, Ottawa, Montreal, Quebec City and Saint John in Canada. In Mexico abortion is only legal on a state by state basis so be aware.

Organise, organise, organise. Don’t leave people behind in your organising. Trans men and people outside the gender binary can get pregnant. It’s not their fault, don’t throw them under the fucking bus.

Your first question to every politician, at every town hall, canvassing event, and more, is “will you decriminalise abortion and recognise it as necessary healthcare?” And you stick to that message. Make politicians dread seeing you because they know. Call their congressional office, write weekly letters. Flood them with “I am your constituent and this is what I want”.

And do that on the state level too! Constant communication.

I am so sorry to everyone who is about to go through this. Find your group. Organise. Protest. You can do this.

291 notes - Posted May 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Broken

Summary: After your boyfriend and friend break your heart, you’re left to try pick up the pieces of what happened. You don’t expect to fall for the fourth person in this twisted love affair, but Adam makes you feel less broken.

Words: 5.7k

Warnings: infertility, talk of difficulty conceiving, pregnancy, infidelity, alcohol, angst with a happy ending

--

Pulling into your parking spot you threw your head back in the seat, staring at the car roof. Your doctors words kept going around and around in your head.

“There’s no physical reason you’re not pregnant yet.”

It had been eighteen months of trying, casually at the start but more seriously when it hadn’t happened. When the worry was too much that something was wrong. But you’d both been tested, Jay got back that his sperm were good quality. You physically shouldn’t have had a problem. But you still weren’t pregnant and it hurt so damn much.

Thumbing your engagement ring you got out and went to the elevator, wondering how you were supposed to tell Jay that they needed to run more tests, that your body just didn’t want to have a child.

As you got to your front door your fiancés work partner was standing there, Kim looking sick to her stomach as she waited. When she saw you her face paled, and you went straight to her.

“Kim, hey! Is Jay inside?”

“Yeah. I wanted to talk to you first. I need to tell you something.”

“Can it wait? I’ve had the day from hell.” She shook her head and you were immediately worried, watching her.

“It can’t. Look, I don’t know how to say this so I’m just ripping the bandaid off. Six weeks ago, Jay and I got drunk and slept together. I found out last week I’m pregnant with his baby.”

The words made you stumble, holding onto the wall for support. He’d cheated on you. He’d cheated on you and one night with someone else meant that he was about to become a father and it wasn’t your child. It wasn’t your baby. Because you were broken and this proved it if one time meant he could get someone else pregnant. Kim went to grab your arm but you shook her off.

“Don’t touch me. Don’t you dare touch me. You’re one of my best friends. You were going to be a bridesmaid. How could you?” Your voice cracked on the final word, tears beginning to roll down your cheeks.

“I didn’t mean to. We were drunk, it was a bad case. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“I don’t want to see you outside of work again.” You turned and unlocked the door, closing it firmly behind you to leave Kim outside. But instead of a moment of peace, Jay stood and opened his arms for you.

“Hey, how are you? Where were you I missed you?” He came over for a hug but you sidestepped him, staring at the man you loved so much it hurt.

“What part of me wasn’t enough? Why did you cheat? Is it because I can’t give you a baby? And now you get to have one with her?”

“Baby, please I didn’t mean to. It just happened.”

“It doesn’t just happen! She was going to be my bridesmaid. Every time I got my period and sobbed she comforted me. And one night? One night and you get her pregnant? How could you?” You watched as the full force of your words hit him and you asked the question you weren’t sure you wanted an answer to. “Do you love me anymore?”

“Of course I loved you!” His face dropped as he realised it was in past tense, and your tears flowed harder.

“Loved. Not love. I should have known you couldn’t love someone who can’t do the thing she’s supposed to do. I’m gonna pack a bag. Tell me when you’re in work so I can get the rest of my things.”

You went straight to your room, staring at your bed. At the artwork the two of you had picked, at the bed you’d made that morning. The bed you thought you’d sleep in for the rest of your life. But you pulled out a bag and threw clothes in, just wanting to make sure that you had enough to keep you going. When it was done you grabbed your tablet, your chargers, your toothbrush and shampoo.

Jay was standing there as you walked out, staring at you with watery eyes.

“Baby, please. It was a mistake. We can get through it.”

“No, we can’t. I was going to have your child. I spent today getting told I need even more tests because there’s no reason I shouldn’t be pregnant. And then with one night you get Kim pregnant? You told me she and Adam split up but not why. That’s why, isn’t it?” He nodded and it broke your heart fully in two. “I can’t do this. Because every time you had custody of that child, I’d be angry. And that innocent baby doesn’t deserve the sins of the parents inflicted on it.”

You held out your left hand, staring at the engagement ring there. The one Jay had proposed to you with a grin and a plea for you to marry him. Pulling it off felt so, so wrong. But you did, your finger bare for the first time in nearly two years as you set it down on the coffee table.

“We’re over. I’ll ask someone in Intelligence to tell me when you’re at work so I can pack my things. If you could box them up I’d appreciate it, but you don’t have to.”

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349 notes - Posted January 15, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[endlesstwanted]

Sweet & Spicy, Hurt/Comfort Bingo Masterpost

My masterpost for the @sweetspicybingo Hurt/Comfort event. I had so much fun putting my faves through the horrors as well as giving them metaphorical hugs. Enjoy!

With Every Step, I Ran To You. Chapter 1: Carol and Goose

☂️ “How are you still alive?”

Fandom: Captain Marvel (2019) Goose & Carol Danvers | G | Drabble WARNINGS: Wandavision compliant Summary: Carol finds Goose after the Snap.

Harder Than It’s Supposed To Be

☂️ Bridal carry

Fandom: New Amsterdam (TV 2018) Casey Acosta/Lauren Bloom | T | 608 words WARNINGS: Episode: s03e12 Things Fall Apart, Asphyxiation Summary: After the pipe bursts, it’s Lauren’s priority to take care of everyone before her. Casey finds her when she collapses.

The Pattern Of A New Beginning

☂️  “It’s okay to be scared.”

Fandom: Immaculate (Movie 2024) Sister Cecilia & Sister Gwen | T | Drabble Summary: After the hospital, the first stop for Cecilia and Gwen is to buy regular clothes.

What’s Yours?

☂️  “You are not alone.”

Fandom: New Amsterdam (TV 2018) Kai Brunstetter-centric | T | Drabble Summary: Kai helps a transgender patient.

Warmth After the Blizzard

☂️  “I’ll always take care of you.”

Fandom: Chicago PD (TV) Kevin Atwater/Kim Burgess/Adam Ruzek | G | Double Drabble Summary: Kim, Kevin and Adam wake up together after a blizzard.

Muted Scream

☂️  Lost voice

Fandom: The Hunger Games (Movies) Peeta Mellark, Johanna Mason | T | Double Drabble WARNINGS: Non-Consensual Drug Use, Headaches, Bruises Summary: Peeta wakes up in the Capitol.

A Kiss For The Unwell

☂️  Checking in

Fandom: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020) Carlos Reyes/TK Strand | G | 1k words WARNINGS: Allergies (but they work the opposite way) Summary: TK suspects Carlos may be sick because of the pollen season, so he goes to check on him.

False Information

☂️  Scarring

Fandom: The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (TV) Natasha Romanov/Joaquín Torres | M | 871 words WARNINGS: Missions Gone Wrong, Canon-Typical Violence, Blood Summary: Joaquín ends up alone on a mission, and hides not to be discovered. It’s not his lucky day.

Blood Promise

☂️  Rescue mission

Fandom: Captain America (Movies) Natasha Romanov/Sam Wilson | T | 426 words WARNINGS: Gunshot Wounds, Blood Summary: Natasha goes into where she shouldn’t go alone and blind. Sam rescues her when she gets shot.

One More Time, From The Top

☂️  Public execution

Fandom: Criminal Minds (US TV) David Rossi-centric | M | 572 words Summary: The endgame to get Lynch, Rossi knows, is to turn himself in.

I Have a Heartache that Won’t Go Away

☂️  Reassuring smile

Fandom: Chicago Fire Sylvie Brett/Joe Cruz/Brian "Otis" Zvonecek | T | 1k words Summary: With Sylvie in Fowlerton, Brian doesn’t know how to move forward with an empty room in their home. He talks to Joe about it, and they figure out their next move.