#especially since i have a canon url now >:)c

[meatriarchived2]

overview cont. i guess lmao. no one asked but its been something in the back of my mind for a while now & i got an anon tonight telling me i come off intimidating and i feel the need to just. make note of some things so that hopefully if anyone feels a certain way with how i run this blog then like. know and understand both my side as well as that my dms / disc is open for anyone to pop into -- just obv depends on the headspace at the time.

i know this is long & am sorry if it doesnt make sense but. just setting it gently out there.

but, again, my disc ( same as my url ) is open for any mutual. its open to shoot the shit. open for plotting. open for memes. what have you. i may not always get to every message. i may not be in the headspace for certain things or certain energies. but its open for anyone as long as we are mutuals & if handles are different between here & disc then i just get a heads-up abt who you are so i know lmao

likewise, i am fairly fucking slow writing-wise and alot of that is because of offsite issues chipping into me but also because most, if not all, of the things i DO have in the inbox or drafts are from my affiliates at this time ( tho i do have some more from the archive i need to move over from a couple people ). alot of my spoons and drive to write and post is because of the dynamics and plotting built between our muses. im not a blog centered on plotting but, it does help to have a better idea on how to navigate between muses c: esp for those technically outside of my kiddos' texas canon obviously. that being said, anyone is welcome to like any inbox calls i put out there. and my inbox is always open and accepting, even if i havent reblogged prompts in a while -- i have my tag linked on my pinned and its available always & for whomever. it just comes with the understanding that i may take a while to respond to them & they may not get as expansive as some of my posts can get with my affiliates; which again, is just simply from how much we've been building together that helps with that!

on that note. my connections with my texas pals are very dear to me. both ic & ooc. as i noted in my overview post, i talk about the dynamics we've built openly and freely here because theyre so integral to my portrayals. they & their kiddos have my entire heart and i unapologetically love having fun with them and going on tangents with them and bouncing thoughts off of each others posts on the dash.

my experiences in other corners of tumby rp have not been particularly kind. and its been a long time since ive felt comfortable especially ooc with writing partners. and i understand if i may come across closed off or intimidating or unapproachable. i understand if i also come across partial to them / play favorites because frankly... i am. i do. thats because they've built bonds not just between characters but also with me. ill be very transparent and say that i am very particular in who i get close with and that translates into here too. but thats also just something that easily can also happen with literally anyone. again i do understand if i come across closed off in any sense but genuinely? im not scary and i have options open for continuing to grow more connections with people c: theyre open always. what im not going to do, however, purely out of personal experience is chase after interactions. the last fandoms i wrote in i did so and it wore me down into my last hiatus. i will show equal enthusiasm to whats given. but i wont fish for it, either. its just not my cup of tea.

i like to think im fairly patient and understanding in a lot, probably moreso than i should in some cases -- sincerely though if theres issues know that im fine with it being brought up. but im also not going to be welcoming nor tolerate my boundaries being disregarded or disrespected, im already dealing with that with an offsite friend. not dealing with it here. i do not like feeling so uncomfortable existing on my own blog or in my own disc. and i get that already with my personal disc & this offsite friend in particular. im not dealing with it here too.

which on that note, i also wont be receptive with issues regarding what i post, what i talk about, who i write with, who i choose as affiliates or mains or w/e. my blog & my dash are my safe & comfort zones and these muses often help me alot with navigating when my headspace is at a fucked up level. if any of that is a concern yes youre welcome to come to me and talk it over but end of the day? my comfort & mental state is a priority to me. if thats ever an issue i truly would just recommend you do what you feel is best for you. everyone existing on this hell-plane are entitled on curating their space in whatever manner they see fit.

again. i promise im not scary. im not an ass. but i do curate my space to be in my best interest and at my age & experience across the 10+ yrs ive been rping on and off here, ive seen alot, heard alot, experienced alot. i do apologize however if i do come across unapproachable or intimidating. i do apologize if i seem closed off to only a select few. i dont mind if you follow / we're mutuals solely just to keep up with what i write! thats completely okay too and i thank those who are <3 but if i seem unapproachable i literally just gently gesture again to my disc or prompts tag etc! i welcome any to get to know myself or my muses. regardless of how much time has passed since following one another. just again, comes with the understanding that my social battery & headspace often does work against me. and thats not personal against anyone, ever.

[rpdepartment]

ROLEPLAYING  GLOSSARY

new words might be hard to understand right away if you’re new... here’s some basic glossary to help getting started! some are more obvious than others, of course, but i know lots of people who might be confused, especially people who don’t speak english as their first language, so i figured it’s better to write down any “important” words

this list might be updated every now and then!!!

A

activity: the abount of time spent on a specific blog. it can be high, medium, low, or even lead to hiatus or semi-hiatus

affiliates: blog canons who tend to be tied together

archived: an archived blog is what remains of a blog no longer used, but that the player prefers not to delete. The blog might’ve been remade, so always check!

AU: alternate universe, when the story setting changes completely. 

C

canon-divergent: a blog that follows canon only to a certain extent, making significant enough changes to distance itself from the original version of the character

crack: silly posts, more often than not out of character, meta and meant to be jokes. crack intreactions are generally considered non-canon for the blog

D

dash commentary: in-character comments about what’s currently happening on dash, like other characters’ thread or replies to asks

DNI: do not interact; a list of people or blogs you don’t want to interact with, for a reason or another

double: people who play as the same character

E

event: a roleplay event is, for lack of better terms, an event that lasts for a generally specified amount of time, that involves a handful of characters to the whole dash. examples of events could be working together to save someone from another muse, or simply partecipating to a holiday ball

exclusive: a blog who doesn’t roleplay or ship with doubles of certain muses, since they already have mains who play them.

F

FC: faceclaim, the face used to represend a character, usually OCs

G

godmodding: any form of cheating to win an argument or a fight, usually involving metagaming or ignoring the partner’s actions to succeed. an example of godmodding could be the good ol’ “it’s an hologram” thread

H

hard block: blocking someone permanently

hiatus: a blog on hiatus means that the player isn’t going to be around for a long amount of time, generally unspecified

HUB: when someone makes secondary blogs to roleplay with, they usually keep their primary blog (the one they use to follow others) as a HUB where they can redirect others to all their other blogs

I

IC: in character; what your character says

icon: small images used to represend your characters’ expressions

interest checker: a post, or a google sheet, people ask to like, comment or fill up to see if they’re interested interacting with a certain character or blog. 

M

magic anon: anons of bygone eras, who cast “spells” on muses in their askbox for a specified amount of time. for example, a magic anon could “transform” your character into a cat for a week, and expects you to roleplay the situation accordingly

main: a RP partner with who the player interacts with more often; some mains can be or become exclusives

meta: metagaming, playing in character using knowledge the characters themselves don’t know, but the player do. it’s the RP equivalent of knowing how to deal with a boss in a game because you watched a walkthrough, making your character break the fourth wall and godmod to win

moved: a blog that was remade, usually either reusing the same URL or keeping a post with a link to the remade blog, leaving behind an archived blog

muse: the character you play as

musing: sentences, prose or lyrics, often written in stylistic manners, that represent the muse’s feelings, thoughts, relationships and history ( you can find a lot of them here )

mun: the player. this is you!!!

mutual: someone you follow, and who follows you back. a lot of blog are mutuals-only, meaning they’ll roleplay only with people they follow and who follows them back

O

OOC: out of character; when the mun talks. the opposite of IC

P

para/multipara: long threads, written in paragraphs

permanent starter call: generally speaking, permanent starter calls are posts the mun asks others to like or comment to make sure they’re “allowed” to send asks, interact, dashcomment or mention in other threads

promo: a post where the players promote their blog and their character, where they often give an idea of who the character they play as is, very basic rules and links to rules and about pages. please reblog those if you want to interact with them

prompt: also called ask memes or sentence starters, posts with a bunch of pre-made sentences used to break the ice and send as asks. they can be both in character and out of character ( you can find a lot of them here )

R

reblog karma: when someone reblogs a prompt, it’s common courtesy to send them something before reblogging the same prompt, or at least wait a few minutes and then reblog from the source

RP: roleplay

RPC: roleplay community, the “main” fandom you’re roleplaying with

rules password: a word or sentence left in the rules page of a blog, meant to be sent to prove the mun you read their rules. while the trend died down and even those who leave passwords generally agree that it isn’t something you’re forced to send, a lot of people at least notify their partner that they read their rules

S

semi-hiatus: a blog on hiatus means that the player isn’t going to be around very often for a long amount of time, generally unspecified

selectivity: depending on a mun’s selectivity, it means how open they are to play with new people, or non-mutuals. non-selective blogs are open to anyone to join, semi-selective blogs are much more reserved, being much more open to mutuals and people you know, while selective blogs are more often than not mutuals only and tend to have mains or even exclusive partners. someone being selective doesn’t mean they will never roleplay with you, and someone who’s non-selective isn’t automatically better than others. decide how selective you are with your blog based on nothing but your own comfort

softblock: blocking and unblocking someone in your follower list, not blocking them completely but still making sure they don’t follow you . A lot of mutuals-only blogs prefer to softblock people they don’t follow anymore

starter: the first post in a thread

starter call: a post muns ask others to generally like or comment if they want a starter for their muse. they usually have a specified limit

T

tag dump: the list of tags the mun uses in their blog, often to help people finding specific kind of threads (like ships and crack), or to make sure tumblr saves the most elaborate ones expect tumblr to not save them and remake the tag dump a few times

thread: the interactions between two (or more) muses

V

VC: voiceclaim, the voice used to represend a character

[hismama-a]

New URL + Main AU Verse Announcement

As you may have noticed, either from seeing it directly or from that post with Germany’s national soccer team gif on my Rangiku blog (@praedulcis--helianthus), this blog’s URL has now been upgraded to @hismama to match Hanji’s Isshin’s URL (the one and only legendary @hisdaddy—because just like our goofballs of muses, we both also love pulling some cheeky tomfooleries~) :Db

Alongside it, I would like to proclaim that while I will still mostly portray Masaki throughout her life before the entire ordeal with Grand Fisher (following the canon plotline where she *spoiler alert* died from the attack), I am now officially releasing my main AU verse in which she survived the predicament, but of course: NOT without a permanent consequence. Hopefully this shall help ease potential interactions with characters she did not get the chance to meet in canon :3

Further information for those interested will be provided under the cut (please be warned that while there won’t be gory details whatsoever, it does touch on the topic of physical trauma and paralysis, just in case you consider them sensitive subjects).

Given that the major injuries she sustained in order to protect her son were located in her back, Masaki suffered from ASIA C-Grade spinal cord injury below the level of thoracic 9, meaning that while she still retained her excretory functions and could feel light touch and pin prick from around her belly button to her toes—despite a slight decrease in sensitivity and occasional tingling, her major voluntary muscles in that area were weakened to the point she could only contract them, yet the legs themselves will stay in place.

Because of that, she would have to rely on a wheelchair and the help of others for her mobility. With a suggestion from @midnightactual, I HC that Kisuke made her a pair of robotic prosthetic that, indeed, had been quite successfully helping her maintain her daily activities since then—especially when it comes to those involving surfaces with different heights and stairs. However, due to the disuse atrophy that eventually developed and worsened through the course of her condition, she often opted for the more traditional means to get herself around because of the frequent pain and exhaustion that stemmed from wearing them for too long.

Also please note that this explanation may get a little tweak every now and then in the future as I gain more insight on her ailment and its application in my writing. Should that happen, I will make sure to post another announcement to let the update(s) be known.

[myfalsedevotion]

Tag Games

Okay, so I haven't really been responding to any tag games since two months ago and I know I'm the worst but I'm going to do them all now in a row in here, and if you guys have tagged me, know that I saw it and appreciated it I just didn't have the mental capacity at the time and now I find myself with way too many tag games I didn't even respond to and feeling extremely guilty... I'm sorry :S

Everything below the keep reading so I don't clog anyone's dash!

First one, tumblr informs me it's from 64 days ago (I'm really really sorry), thank you @mychemicalobsession514 so much for the tag!

Mine would be AU with an attempt at humour hahhahaha I think it fits 😅

***

Thank you for the tag @ireallydontknowhowtolife, so sorry for the delay :S

indoor plants or gardens // cloud-watching or star-gazing // water or fire // paperback or hardcover // running or hiking // sleeping with socks or without // fruits or vegetables // hanging plants or succulents // dark wood or light wood // handwritten or typed // instagram or pinterest // braids or pigtails // books or movies // oceans or meadows // forests or fields// sweet or salty // ice cream or chocolate // hoodies or sweater // long hair or short hair // piercings or tattoos // summer or winter // boots or sneakers // cars or motorcycles // curls or straight hair // castles or cottages // sunny days or storms // reptiles or birds // disney or nickelodeon // strawberries or watermelon // essays or posters // phones or laptops// glass or stone // dark or light // photos or painting // circuses or theaters // reading or writing // dogs or cats// poetry or novels // monsters or ghosts // thrift shops or libraries // fiction or non-fiction

***

Thanks for this tag, @ncstas!

three ships: DavidxPatrick from Schitt's Creek, FitzSimmons, SamBucky (no one said canon, right? hahahha)

last song: American Pie by Don McLean

last movie: Black Widow

currently watching: I am kind of in a moment in between fixations 🤔 but I am watching Loki as it airs.

currently reading: catching up on all the fics I couldn't read while I was studying these last months

currently craving: motivation to write :C

and for this one!

fav color(s): forest green!

currently reading: catching up on all the fics I couldn't read while I was studying these last months

last song: American Pie - Don McLean

last movie: Black Widow

last series: Loki?

sweet, sour or savoury: currently, savoury. Ask me in an hour, it'll have changed hahhaah

currently craving: just a crumb of motivation, I'm not asking for much

coffee or tea: BOTH, it depends on the occasion. During summer I need to chug coffee first because I usuallly wake up with a BP of 85/50 or something, and I need to up that shit quickly hahah

currently working on: Ch12&13 of Rare and I am more than noticing how rusty I am... it's been too long

***

I was tagged by the amazing @glitterandsummerdaze on this tag game, I'm so sorry for the delay!

open your spotify “on repeat” and the first five songs are the soundtrack to your personal rom-com

Renegade (feat. Taylor Swift) - Big Red Machine, Taylor Swift

Starting Line - Luke Hemmings

That Funny Feeling - Bo Burnham

gold rush - Taylor Swift

You Stupid Bitch - girl in red

That is... I can see that as a romcom soundtrack 😂

***

Okay next up, Maya @calumsash , I am so so sorry I haven't even acknowledge your tags... I have like 3 of yours piled up, I'm so sorry :S

How similar is my taste in music to yours:

For this tag, (reblog with the meaning/origin of my url and my favorite color) my url is pretty easy to explain hahahha I stole it from an All Time Low song 🤭 "i'm sick and tired of false devotion" and well, idk, I just liked it hahahahah I was setting up a new tumblr just for fics and here we are (I even fell back down the spn rabbit hole when I was only ever meant to post about bands XDDD). For the longest time I couldn't decide between blue and purple for my favourite colour and then I chose neither: it's green. Forest green hahahahah

For today's tag (I can't believe I'm actually answering to a tag game on the day I've been tagged O.o), which is this one, here are my answers:

1. Favourite song at the moment

I don't know if I'd call it favourite but, I haven't been able to stop singing American Pie since thursday night thanks to Black Widow 😅😅 It doesn't help that I've known all the lyrics to it since I was little thanks to my dad because I'm basically singing over and over a song that's 8 and a half minutes long hahahahah

2. A song you associate with your favourite ship

Is it too self-serving and lazy of me if I copy your answer and say Paper Rings Maya?😅 hahahaha No, for real, that song (even though parts of it don't align with cashton on athob) is forever tied to them for me 💙

3. A song that could be about you

This is me trying there are just more than a couple of lines that hit too close to home

4. A song you think is underrated

Outside of ATL or 5sos or Taylor I never go much into music fandoms so... I don't know how to answer. Any song I could say is underrated could very well be a fan favorite and I just don't know... 😅

5. A song that reminds you of a good memory

Sonrisa Especial by El Sueño de Morfeo reminds me of a period of my childhood were I wasn't sad all the time (which was rare in my childhood tbh), it's an obnoxiously happy and uplifting song that I can't relate to most days but when I do, it's quite special hahahha

6. The last song you listened to

... American Pie 😅😅😅

7. A song that makes you laugh

I Hate by Passenger, it never fails to make me laugh hahahah

8. A song you want your mutuals to listen to

ufff, anything by Kina Grannis I can't pick just one song, I can't

Thank you so so much for the tags Maya 🥺🥺🥺💙💙💙💙

[cassiathepronghorn]

stonestormlandszone -> cassiathepronghorn

THIS IS THE LAST TIME I CHANGE MY URL I PROMISE

[lokigodofaces]

Dudes!

So @tvaofficial has been posting a lot of codes and TVA memos with redacted info lately, which is epic. Well, @agentsofshieldabc is in on this too.

Now, @agentsofshieldabc is the official tumblr of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. I think. There also is @agentsofshield that has been much more active, but it does not have the link to the privacy policy page for Disney ran accounts. I double checked this because it wouldn’t be too surprising if there was a fan account with that url. It would appear @agentsofshieldabc is the official account and @agentsofshield is a fan account. @tvaofficial is an official account (it has the privacy policy page). We are dealing with official accounts ran by the powers that be at Marvel/Disney. So this isn’t some weird thing a couple of fans are doing.

@agentsofshieldabc does not post a lot. Seriously, I scrolled through their posts, trying to see if there was anything else like this. The last post they have related to AoS is advertising the season 2 finale. That came out in 2015. So the account hasn’t been active for most of the time the show was running. And now they are posting. 

First we have this. It reads: 

Time Variance Detected

Agents of S.A.S.S. reassigned.

Yo! What is that about? From what I can tell, S.A.S.S. is an acronym for Special Administrative Support Services, and refers to the people in charge of @agentsofshieldabc. The idea is that they are a task force of S.H.I.E.L.D. agents that run the S.H.I.E.L.D. social media platforms or something along those lines. I’m not sure, these are year old posts I’m looking at, I wasn’t there when this was happening and it was a thing. 

ANYWAY.

“Time Variance Detected.” Well, isn’t that the whole thing behind Loki? The protagonist is a Loki variant. So perhaps this variance is meant to refer to Alternate2012!Loki, or any other variance, really. Or anything AoS related? There is a lot of time travel in AoS, and shouldn’t Deke Shaw be considered a variant? Or something similar? I have a couple episodes of s5 left to watch, but knowing how narratives work, they’re gonna stop Talbot and save the world, branching out into a new timeline? 

This also could potentially mean the Agents of S.A.S.S. (moderators of @agentsofshieldabc) are running @tvaofficial I guess. 

Then, another post:

@tvaofficial:  aGVsbG8/

@agentsofshieldabc:  eW91ciBzaWduYWwgaXMgd2Vhay4gcmVwZWF0Pw==

@tvaofficial:   Li4uIHJ5aW5nIHRvIGJvb3N0IHRoZSBzaWduYSAuLi4=

Do y’all realize how big this is?

@agentsofshieldabc is in on @tvaofficial ��s coding! They know the code! Or at least how to respond to this one message! Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and Loki might be connected! A surprisingly large amount of people have been wanting a connection. I mean, Loki and Coulson have a surprisingly large amount in common, both series involved time travel (allowing an easy connection), the TVA probably really hates S.H.I.E.L.D. b/c of the stuff they get into in later seasons, and it would be really funny if Coulson and Loki met again, especially since this Loki had just barely killed Coulson. 

From what I understand, most of @tvaofficial ‘s posts are nonsensical. We can’t make any sense of them other than this one (I think. There are A LOT of posts coming from @tvaofficial and I can’t possibly look at each and every one of them with my schedule. There may be more that can be translated). But this exchange can be translated.

Thank you to @kylara for this translation.

TVA: Hello?

AoS: Your signal is weak. Repeat?

TVA: ...rying to boost the signa...

“Your signal is weak.” The TVA and S.H.I.E.L.D. communicating? Is that what’s happening? Is this set up for canon, or is this just to mess with us all? Will @agentsofshieldabc continue replying to @tvaofficial ? I just signed up to get notifications when @agentsofshieldabc posts, so I will know if they respond to anymore of @tvaofficial ‘s posts. I didn’t scroll through all of @tvaofficial b/c that is a lot, but I think @agentsofshieldabc is the only account they have interacted with. Many Loki stans have tried to respond to the TVA, but they only are responding to @agentsofshieldabc so far. 

Again, thank you to @kylara for the translation. And thank you to the many others that are decoding the TVA’s signals! This is most definitely not a skill set I have. I would never have guessed this would be base 64 or anything like that. I kind of get the concept of bases, but not enough to guess this was base 64. 

Let’s hope there is an actual connection to both series! I haven’t finished the series (I have two episodes left of s5) but I’ve been told s6 and s7 are about time travel, and s5 has a fair amount of time travel as well. So there is that connection already with Loki. I don’t know how the series ends, but it may hold the key to all of this. And, gosh, I would kill for Coulson to be in the main MCU, and for all the other characters to be as well. 

[pinayelf-archive]

Cullen’s Revised Redemption - my take

This was previously an undetectable read more but decided to update it and also make it (more) public since people have asked for it. This is very wordy, so grab a bag of chips or something lmao.

Disclaimer and Request (PLEASE READ)

I am putting this above the read more because I need people to see it before they do anything with this post. The reason I had the first version of this basically invisible is I’m genuinely not here for people yelling and fighting in the notes so that being said:

I wrote out the first one so I had something to link to people in the case someone asks me why I’m romancing him with an elven mage

This is a hot button issue and I know people have feelings varying from either extreme sides or in the middle so

If you vehemently hate Cullen and find him irredeemable that is fine and valid, but please do not come onto this post and reply why. To be frank, you won’t make me dislike him considering I hated him initially

If you think his redemption is perfect that is fine and valid, but please do not come yelling at me for this post.

Let us agree to disagree NOW.

I love Cullen. If the URL wasn’t obvious I’m saying it now. But I am also allowed to feel that his redemption wasn’t fully realized and lackluster and wish it didn’t happen off-screen. 

I believe Cullen does want to change. Failing and slipping at first is realistic. What didn’t work is that it wasn’t fully realized. If you disagree that is fine.

Cullen’s PTSD is a reason for the things he did. It is a reason NOT an excuse. Mental illness is not an excuse to do bad things. You can say that while acknowledging his trauma. Said by a person who also suffers from mental illness

“Ellie why do you care so much about a white dude, he doesn’t deserve your time and energy!!!” - because he is a comfort character of mine, he is fictional so I have the ability to make him safer for me and for my OCs and I think that’s more than fair

This is NOT the only right way to write a fix-it for him you can 100% write your own, this is just mine and an example of one

Now...let’s go!

This is meant to have been a longfic, but I can never finish anything I write so you’ll get a condensed version. This is for my worldstate where Imryll (my main Cullenmance) is the Inquisitor, but I also use this same redemption in all my timelines, just tweaked a bit for whoever the characters are.

DAI starts and Cullen has just stopped taking lyrium. He wants to change, , he is full of regret and ready for it but is obviously harder than he anticipated. Especially since the Herald, Imryll, wants to ally with the mages. He and Imryll do not get along, Imryll doesn’t trust him and they have had a couple of public fights. 

Imryll allies with the mages. Cullen is worried abominations might occur. The ones from Kirkwall see Cullen and refuse to interact with him. Some hate him and look at him with disdain. He’s made an announcement saying he no longer operates under the Templar Order and denounces what Meredith did. But they still don’t trust him.

He is frustrated by this and Leliana calls out the fact that he still doesn’t trust them because he believes they’ll turn into abominations, so why should they trust him? Cullen says he’s seen it happen, like in Kinloch, especially if they’re exposed to power. Leliana points out how the same thing happened to Meredith. Cullen snaps out of his frustration, admitting he knows he’s wrong but it’s hard to accept it. Leliana tells him he must accept he is wrong if he wants to really change.

(Note: In my canon Leliana becomes his support for this rather than Cass. I love Cass but she is too static in her beliefs and will just enable or stunt Cullen from growth. They are still close friends but it’s Leliana who he confides in with about this - they both have the same faith but Leliana is more open-minded and will help him grow)

The Templars and the Mages clash at Haven and Imryll demands Cullen to do something about it. Cullen is hesitant and doesn’t do much, he doesn’t want to believe his comrades are acting this way. This sours his relationship with Imryll and the mages.

(This idea is taken from a text post that I can no longer find :c) One of the mages give birth and the others are overjoyed and crying. They need supplies and Cullen offers to help but they all refuse to speak to him until he arrives back with Josephine. Cullen wonders why they are celebrating and crying and Leliana says that most mages never stay with their family because they are separated. Another realization hits Cullen.

Cullen joins Cassandra in looking for rogue Templars and when they encounter the group, Cullen attempts to reason with them but they don’t relent. He sees his old self in the leader and realizes what he sounded like. After dealing with the Templars he and Cassandra see a group of young refugee mages starving and hiding in a small cave. They quiver in fear when they notice his Templar gauntlets and refuse to come to Haven despite them being in near-death from starvation. Luckily, Varric is there and convinces them to come. 

The encounter dawns on Cullen what the Templar Order truly looks like to mages. This haunts him. It is the same fear he had for years after Kinloch - the difference is, the order protected him but no one truly protected the mages. He finally accepts that the order he once romanticized so much is corrupt.

The next time he sees that his Templars are the ones who start the altercations. He does something about it - but at the same time angering his lieutenant. 

During the fall of Haven, the Red Templars show Cullen anyone is apt for corruption, seeing the people he once trusted become the army for a magister breaks his heart. He witnesses the mage recruits give their lives for the Inquisition. He watches Imryll sacrifice herself for the sake of the Inquisition. When have the Templars ever done this? He’s never witnessed this. He must make amends. He must. 

Upon arriving at Skyhold he requests to be judged by the mages and Fiona - the ones from Kirkwall especially. He tells them it’s time he answered for his inaction and the things he enabled. Surprised, Imryll calls Fiona to form a council of mages to judge him. 

Cullen prepares for whatever sentence they are to give him. All the while after owning up to what happened in Kirkwall, the Inquisition loses some support, including soldiers who leave due to their disillusionment in him. The day of trial comes and to Cullen’s surprise they sentence him with reparations. He is to do the Inquisition mages’ bidding and to work with Fiona along with his Inquisition duties.

Besides the loss of support, many begin to look at Cullen differently and turn cold towards him, like some staff and people who have joined the Inquisition. He helps build a mage tower and joins Fiona in doing small missions  to help the refugee mages. While some mages warm up to him, some don’t and while hard he accepts they never will.

One day a missive arrives at Skyhold stating that mages from Starkhaven are taken hostage by Red Templars for a hefty ransom. Josephine insists they pay the ransom and plans to take a loan out from an Antivan bank - however Cullen sees the situation as time sensitive. He is afraid that if they wait too long, the Red Templars will kill the mages. Josephine, and Leliana surprisingly argue against this, seeing it too risky. But Cullen has a terrible gut feeling, and after finding the location of the abandoned keep they are located in, he takes some of his troops who are willing, and mages who are looking to save their brethren.

The raid goes all right, and the troops manage to retrieve the hostages without any casualties, however at the last minute, one of the templars set off hidden explosives that begin to set the the keep ablaze. As it falls into ruin, Cullen makes sure everyone makes it to safety. But then he sees a young mage girl trapped under rubble, and in spite of his lieutenant demanding he leave her, he doesn’t. He runs to her rescue and seemingly dies as the castle crushes both of them.

The troops return to Skyhold with the news that Commander Cullen has died in the rescue. Shocked, the remaining advisors and Imryll set off to find a new Commander.

Surprisingly, Cullen and the young mage girl, who introduces herself as Lyra, survives. Lyra mustered up her remaining strength to put a barrier around them as the castle fell. Cullen and Lyra then set to Skyhold in order to get her to safety. Cullen does everything in his power to make sure she is safe, and shocks everyone at their return. 

After this event, Imryll begins to warm up to Cullen. They form a friendship as Imryll often spends late nights at the mage tower doing research. Cullen initially stayed there to make sure nothing happened to Imryll (as she was not very popular with his troops or certain Orlesians). Despite them being from separate worlds they find they have a lot in common. 

When asked how he feels about the Dalish, Cullen tells her that in the Circle, elves were not treated differently and it does not matter who you are. Imryll tells him it’s a very blind way to view discrimination, as despite her existence not revolving on her being a Dalish elf, her being a Dalish elf is how people will always view her. Cullen finally understands when he accompanies her to Val Royeaux to deal with Josephine’s assassination contract and he sees how Orlesians treated Imryll in spite of her title. He speaks to her about it, and apologizes, saying he will never understand how it feels, but he will make sure she and the other elven members of the Inquisition feels safe. 

And all the while, Cullen begins to see what protecting those who need it is truly like. 

Cullen opens up to Imryll about his withdrawals. She tells him she supports him not taking lyrium again and encourages him not to. While suffering from a terrible spell, Imryll uses a healing spell to alleviate his headache and it triggers a memory from Kinloch. He freaks out at Imryll, who he scares off. He and Imryll don’t speak for a few days until he goes up to her and explains what happened. Imryll then says that if they are to be good friends they must always remain transparent with each other and learn boundaries and communicate well. Cullen agrees.

Cullen quitting lyrium inspires some of his troops to leave the order and quit lyrium. To be able to cope and deal with it, Cullen asks if they can have a rehab clinic in Skyhold. Imryll agrees.

As Cullen’s friendship with Imryll deepens he realizes he’s falling in love with her. Unsure what to do and already assuming she will never feel the same way he tries to shove the feelings aside despite Imryll showing signs of reciprocating. 

As time goes, Imryll’s relationship with Cullen’s lieutenant worsens because of the decisions she makes as the Inquisitor. The Lieutenant and Imryll get into a fight when Imryll allows the mages to make their own separate army group, as the lieutenant feels it will make them corrupt with power. He calls Imryll slurs and tells her that she has no right being a leader because of who she is. Cullen publicly calls him out, to which the lieutenant responds he is only doing because he wants something from Imryll. Cullen tells him he is doing it because it’s the right thing to do, and that the lieutenant should not speak or Imryll or any elf or mage in the way again. When he refuses to apologize, Cullen kicks him out of the Inquisition. 

Meanwhile, Imryll struggles with learning how to be a Knight-Enchanter. She questions her self worth and her bravery. Cullen comforts her, telling her she is the best person he knows. He tells her she is brave because of how she still continues to fight and to lead the Inquisition, not in spite of who she is, but because of who she is. He offers his support.

During the Shrine of Dumat, Cullen is hurt badly after attempting to keep a Red Templar Shade from Dorian. He refuses care, saying the others need it more. Imryll insists he does and asks if she can use a healing spell to alleviate the pain of his bruised chest. He lets her. Amidst this, they share a kiss and cements their romantic relationship.

Cullen and Imryll’s romantic relationship flourish and for the first time in his life, Cullen feels he’s found someone he can have a healthy love with. He also finds he has friends - real friends, which he hasn’t had in a long time.

During Samson’s capture - memories flash back and threatens Cullen to slip. This makes him realize that his say on the matter is biased and lets Imryll and the others choose what to do with him. (Imryll conscripts him but doesn’t have Cullen handle him, she has another recovering ex-Templar work with him and spend time in the rehab they’ve built in Skyhold).

When Imryll chooses Leliana as the Divine, Cullen shocks his former colleagues when he says he approves of the choice.

After Corypheus’ defeat the idea of the rehab clinics begin to spread and open up in other places - which begins to open conversation about how the Chantry exploits their own Templars.

Following the events of Trespasser, Imryll disbands the Inquisition. With land Cullen inherited from his parents he and Imryll build another rehab clinic as well as a place for former Circle mages to find a home in, and learn how to live lives outside the Circle (this post is Cullen-centric so I’m not gonna write a long thing about it but in my canon Divine Leliana and Vivienne find a middle ground and build centers/schools where abandoned and former Circle Mages can find a home in and learn, without them being prisons)

And scene! If you reached this end thank you for reading all that. A lot of the later stuff is mainly skipped over because this focused more on how Cullen changes - the repercussions from his actions and how he actively shows the changes.

[hopeandharmonizing]

[apologies to those seeing the first part twice lol]

1. ( ALIAS / NAME ) ——   Ray around these parts now

2.  ( BIRTHDAY ) ——  June 17th

3.  ( ZODIAC SIGN ) ——   Gemini

4.  ( HEIGHT ) ——    5′5″

5.  ( HOBBIES ) —— writing, singing, drawing, used to do cosplay, walking my pups, hiking, weightlifting/calisthenics (but that’s been pretty sidetracked lately), playing JRPGS.

6.  ( FAVORITE COLOR ) ——    Purple

7.  ( FAVORITE BOOKS ) ——    Fahrenheit 451 - Ray Bradbury, Doubt: A Parable - John Patrick Shanley, The Once and Future King - T.H. White, The Scarlet Letter - Nathaniel Hawthorne (every time someone says they hate it I cry a lil, ngl)

8.  ( LAST SONG LISTENED TO ) —— I have my Briar playlist on rn. Empire - Beth Crowley

9.  ( LAST FILM OR SHOW WATCHED ) ——  World of Dance

10.  ( INSPIRATION FOR MUSE ) ——    SO somewhere in the middle of Vol 7 I was enjoying the concept of Fair Game, and it got me wondering what other kind of semblances might help make Qrow more comfortable around or at least fighting compatible with someone. I figured if there could be a foil for good fortune/bad fortune, there could be foils for aura amp/aura damp, and that could work. But then I started thinking about how aura damp would feel?? Probably not good.  Then Vol 7 went the way it did and I just wanted some happiness for Qrow. Especially since my muse for him kicked up first. I didn’t have any canon OTPs for him really, so I decided to make my OWN. Because that’s what we do. This was also around the time I graduated and finally could really dig into the rwby lore and the soundtrack. Between my original concepts, all the themes and lyrics from Vol 7 and the full soundtrack - the character was born. Decided to make her a wolf faunus, a) bc I love wolves, b) because of Qrow’s storytelling in the Faunus episode. Wouldn’t it be hella funny if he stumbles when talking about sexual biological compatibility and has the comment about a wolf cub’s teething period being dicey, because he’s talking about his own family? c) wow that hella works with this semblance idea. Came up with some bits of background that would help them understand each other, shared core values, and a few personality traits that I imagined would work well with Qrow - somewhere along the line the name Briar and the Sleeping Beauty allusion came through, and, again, meshed strangely well with the semblance idea. Also Briar Branwen hits my penchance for alliteration. Added in some more personal aesthetic and a chunk of what my 13 year old self wanted to be. lmao ANYWAY, jokes on me bc I made her for Qrow with Clover as a best friend, but here I am interacting with one (1) Clover who’s quickly ramping up to be husband material and 3-4 Qrows who all have best friend flags jkdfhjdhkjk. well at least she has my own qrow, and some people who are even indulging me for the polyship with them. :3c

11.  ( STORY BEHIND URL ) —— she wants to spread hope and harmony!!! and right about when I determined that her instrument’s name was Harmonizer (see from my other blog - love for triple entendre) was when I went... YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MIGHT BE SELF INDULGENT AF BUT IT NEEDS TO BE SHARED WITH THE WORLD, I’VE PUT TOO MUCH WORK IN TO KEEP HER TO MYSELF. I could die at all the love you guys give her, for real.

tagged by: @infortunii​ + @alreadyafairy​ ty babes!!!

tagging: IDK WHO’S LEFT!! @combat-heelys​?? 

[villainrps]

Hi everyone! You may know me as NEETU/NAV/NINA/MINA/NIA, or just by my URL, @villainrps. I had the real displeasure of having to read some shit the last few days, and I’m here to tell you that I’m not happy about it, it wasn’t okay, and here’s why! I had someone who I had never spoken to before and who I, honestly, was not consciously following confront me and admit to having stalked me over a course of several years before finally coming forward and accusing me of plagiarism. This claim has no basis in reality or fact, which I told her to her face privately before she made the decision to block me before I could reply further. I feel no great shame or even hesitation mention this person’s name or URL as they’ve threatened to write a PSA about me for something I know I haven’t done, despite what an overinflated ego believes and might have you believe, so I thought I’d beat her to the punch and “expose” myself rather than give someone else the satisfaction. Read on below to find out all about this rather unpleasant encounter with Sarah, @marvolo ( previously @lilys and @aangs ).

As I’ve already said, I’ll begin with acknowledging that I was, apparently, at one time following Sarah. We never met or spoke, if we were ever in a roleplay together it’s not something I was aware of, and her most recent old URL wasn’t even one that I recognized. I believe that I began following her when she was @aangs, and I found her blog through a friend of mine ( @herorps ) who was likely following Sarah for her RP resources.

I also want to touch on the fact that Sarah states she has been playing the character in question -- a canon character, Lily Luna Potter -- since 2012. I have also been playing Lily Luna since 2012, and I’m sure there are a good number of other people who have been playing her for at least three years, if not the seven that Sarah and I both have. I also want to state that I have never seen Sarah’s portrayal of Lily Luna out in the wild, so to speak, at least to my own conscious knowledge as, despite the fact that she’s apparently been keeping tabs on me, I’ve not been keeping tabs on her. I want to make very clear that I have never plagiarised from anyone, for a number of reasons: a) it’s morally wrong, b) especially in the case of roleplay, it’s not a concept I could ever wrap my head around as writing someone else’s character in any capacity for any length of time isn’t sustainable, and c) I don’t need to. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m an incredibly confident person; I’m secure in my own abilities, I would and have never felt the need to bolster my own skills using the labor of someone else.

Before Sarah took the immense courtesy of very brusquely messaging me with this accusation herself, she decided to present a massive compilation of evidence to the admins of a group that I’m currently in, collected -- again, by her own admission -- over the course of several years without my knowledge of, to put it bluntly, any idea who she even was. You’ll find screenshots of all of these conversations below, but I just want to make it very clear before continuing that this kind of behavior is a plague in our community, and nothing ever makes it okay to literally stalk a complete stranger for years, not even taking into account how calmly and easily she admitted it to a third party, another stranger, as if it’s something rational and normal to do.

Now, regarding the things she’s accusing me of stealing from her portrayal of Lily Luna -- face claim, occupation, house, personality traits, and a few headcanons that I believe to be very generic not only for this specific character but just as far as headcanons go in general -- obviously, yes, I’m as a whole denying all of it. It’s just not true. You’re more than welcome to believe whatever you want about me, but I’m saying now, for the record, that this is not true, and what prompted me to write my own PSA is to call attention to this absolutely reprehensible behavior, as it was total bullshit to me, but also as I’ve heard in asking around that Sarah has a history of making these kinds of accusations against people.

Find first the screenshots of the Google Doc she sent to the admins of a group that I’m in; the Google Doc itself is now defunct, but the admins can attest that these screenshots are complete and unaltered. 

PLEASE CLICK HERE TO BE REDIRECTED TO THE SCREENSHOTS.

You'll see on the first page, she admits to having stalked me for "many years," and also posts that her biography has gone through several changes over the years, as well as the fact that she has people who can vouch for her who have been in previous groups with her. I, also, have people who I've known since 2012 who can vouch for me. She also says on the second page that she softblocked me at some point, rather than saying absolutely anything about any of this, despite having kept tabs on me for years and having said or done God knows what to other people about a situation that I had no knowledge of. Also on the second page she vows to "hold [the admins] accountable for the irresponsible way they handled the situation," which apparently just means they read this massive document and decided they didn't agree with her, so obviously they're wrong and at fault here as well. I really have nothing to say about these biosheet/introduction comparisons. I've run the similarities by half a dozen people now, and none of us can see how they're "too similar to be a coincidence," as Sarah says to me later, in our conversation. These are all fairly generic traits and headcanons; talking about Gryffindor traits, about her canonical family, about a headcanon of not being able to cook?, and another that literally just describes some basic Gryffindor aesthetics that you can find right away in a five second Pinterest search. None of these are unique to either one of our portrayals. This is a canon character with an established fanon. I'm sure you could find at LEAST a dozen other people who play Lily as a headstrong Gryffindor who has Harry's eyes and is afraid of losing her family. Towards the end of all this, she also mentions two similar character URLs -- mine, daughterofheroes, isn't even something I came up with myself, it was given to me by a friend that used to play Lily Luna. Additionally, she mentions some similar tags that we both use; "out of the ashes" was based on a really specific RPG event from a group that I ran years ago, and I don't think that I have to say that "lionheart" is about as generic as it gets for a Gryffindor. Then, out of nowhere, she accuses me of changing my introduction for Lily for MinistryHQ, a group that I co-adminned and she apparently briefly thought about joining, to avoid "[being] caught in the act." Remember how she's said her Lily biography has gone through many changes over the years? Apparently, when she does it, it's natural evolution and it's valid, but when I do it, it's obviously because I'm a vicious sneak thief and I don't want anyone to notice. Which, if I didn't want her to "detect" me in my own group, would I not have simply... blocked her? Softblocked her like she did to me? ANYWAY. It then details her conversation with the admins of the group I'm in, where she accuses me of plagiarism to them, but asks that I not be told about them at all, which -- I don't know, maybe I'm being unreasonable, but that's incredibly insensitive to the admins and the position that’s putting them in ( hey, kick this person out but you're not allowed to tell them why! ), not to mention still being weirdly stealthy about stalking me for this long?? Not only accusing me of plagiarism to them, then, but completely reaching up your ass and deciding that the reason you've kept all this a secret is because you think I'm going to harass you?? So now I'm not only a thief, I'm a bully too?? And, again, WE HAVE NEVER SPOKEN. In my opinion, the admins are exactly on point, telling her that the only person doing the harassment is you -- I have no idea how this can be seen as anything but, deciding you don't want a total stranger to have access to your blog despite the fact you've NEVER allotted them the courtesy of knowing you have an issue with them to begin with, despite the fact that you're helping yourself to having kept tabs on them for a span of YEARS -- and saying, like what I've just said, that neither of our Lily portrayals are particularly unique. I'll own up to that lol. But Sarah's not quite ready to do that, as you'll see in this next set of screenshots.

Next you can find the screenshots of Sarah finally taking the time to message me about her perceived grievance with me, finally after being quite literally forced to after her encounter with the admins of the group I’m in. 

PLEASE CLICK HERE TO BE REDIRECTED TO SCREENSHOTS

A lot of the things I have to say I've already said directly to Sarah. Before I was blocked, that is. I'm a very-upfront person, and my tone in these IMs is not gonna be any different from my tone in this PSA lol. But let's still pick through for any important things. This is probably a little petty to point out, but I really need to mention that she says she's "[tried] to just let this go" and I really wanna ask you, reading this: does any of this so far seem like the actions or mental space of a person who's trying to let this go? Because that's not how it reads to me! But anyway, like I say to her, the tone of this message is incredibly abrasive; I don't think it's at all fair that she's been letting this anger and resentment stew for literal years, only to come at me with this message and act like she's tried to address it to me before and this is her last warning before putting me on blast as a last straw. Again, like I say to her, I just really think this whole accusation is incredibly ego-based coming from a place of thinking that she has a singular claim to what is just a very generic portrayal of this popular canon character, thinking that anyone who plays this character in a similar way to her must, logically, be copying her because there’s no other explanation for two similar ideas other than the fact that someone is jealous of her, etc. Much of this speaks for itself, but at the end of this conversation you can see us talking about the fact that the basis for my Lily Luna is a completely different canon character from an entirely different fandom. Even when I mention that and link her the application from four years ago, she still insists that that biography, now, was even plagiarized from her Lily Luna, despite how little sense that makes. If I wanted to rip someone's biography for Canon Character A, I would rip someone's biography that was also written for Canon Character A, not stumble upon a biography for a completely unrelated Canon Character B and copy that. This one in particular just really. Blows my mind. She ends the conversation by saying that it's "ridiculous" that I won't "cop" to something that I did not do; what I find ridiculous is that she's now had three people tell her her characterization just ain't that special and instead she's choosing to fall back on this narcissistic tirade that she's apparently been on against me for years without my knowledge. Well, you know what, Sarah? I had no reason to care about you then, and I still have no reason to care about you now. But you know what, honey? If this helps you sleep better at night, stalking and harassing random strangers on the internet to feed your ego, then you just go on believing that I’m the bad guy and everyone’s out to get you. Clearly that’s what you need to make it through the day, so who am I to take that away from you?

In conclusion, this whole thing really just caught me off guard rather than having the intimidating effect that was intended. I know I didn’t steal from anyone, which is why I feel comfortable enough posting all this, but I think that this has really gone on long enough and some people in this community really just need to be held accountable for getting off on shit like this. Some people here are too scared of confrontation to call shit like this out, but I’m not one of them. 

If you’ve read this far and your brain is still intact, congratulations! Because I was feeling really fried after experiencing all of this first hand. This is ridiculous, considering I thought we left this sort of rpc drama back in 2015. Also, for reference to these proofs that were collected by Sarah, please see below for most of the screenshots, as the google doc is not available to me any longer.

PLEASE CLICK HERE TO BE REDIRECTED TO SCREENSHOTS

[diviinitas-moved]

♥ What's the WORST thing that has happened to you rp wise?

salty munday meme

one of my partners and someone that i really admired (at the time) attacked me out of nowhere and twisted it around to make it my fault that i got upset and then shit-talked me for weeks after i cut off contact with them (because they thought i would roll over and let myself be treated badly to keep their friendship lmAO the delusion) to the point that i ended up losing friends. it’s been over a year since that went down and coming up on a year since their half-assed “apology” and i still have a moment of panic when i see their url on my dash.

⚜ How many people do you not like? I use the word “hate” really liberally but i don’t hate anyone (except for a certain few politicians but let’s not get into politics here). as for dislike, it’s very few people-- the person i mentioned above is one of them, and there’s a couple others, but even then it’s less dislike and more “ew stay away from me”.

❥ Has someone ever ruined an FC or character for you? Same person ruined gi/na rod/rigu/ez and ty/ler po/sey as fcs and actors for me, so i can safely say i won’t be watching ja/ne the vi/rgin anytime soon or following any blogs with those fcs because of the bad memories attached to them. and honestly, the drama constantly surrounding m/cu blogs has seriously put me off m/cu blogs and muses-- it’s nothing personal towards the mun, but if a mun has an OC blog and an mc/u canon muse, i’ll stick with the OC. especially if the character is a to/ny st/ark or a lo/ki. tony is actually one of the only characters i give a shit about in that fandom, but tony blogs seem to attract drama like flies to honey.

♒ Thoughts on the fandom you're currently rping in? i couldn’t ask for a better fandom tbh!!! i’ve known these people for years at this point and i’m really glad to have met them. everyone is so nice and fun the c/ovt fandom is an absolute treasure.

❦ Has someone been jealous of you? Not that i know of? I’m not sure how i would know that someone is jealous of me.

❧ Have you ever been jealous of anyone? Fleeting moments here and there but not directed at a mun in particular-- it’s usually moments of insecurity that are kinda like “what am i not doing that they are that makes them get so many interactions”. but it’s tumblr rp and i get over it.

❣ How salty are you feeling right now? not too bad?? the first few questions had me going but it really simmered down with the last three lol

[personas-against-antis]

My experience with anti-ism and back

Inspired by @huntypastellance's interviews with ex-antis, I decided to post my own story of how I became an anti and how I got out.

My inbox and messages are open in case anyone has any questions or wants to say anything.

Apologies for any typos, my typing is not the greatest.

Names have been changed to protect my friends’ privacy and to prevent certain antis mentioned from coming after me again.

Where It All Started

So back in middle school I fell in love with an anime called Hetalia, about the interactions between anthropomorphized versions of various countries. I had been in fandom for a while (my first big fandom was Sonic, but that was before antis went mainstream), and I was a pretty big follower of "don't like, don't read/look". When I joined, I immediately latched on to the ship AmeCan, or America/Canada.

They were cute and it was my OTP for a long time. The only problem with AmeCan is that, by a large majority of the fandom, America and Canada were considered brothers. I personally didn't see them that way, I saw them as adopted brothers at most, and I was always pretty squicked out by shippy fanfics that depicted them as biological brothers. The ship itself was still pretty big in that fandom, so I ignored the haters and immersed myself in fanart and fanfic.

I met a girl at my school (let's call her Duchess) who also liked Hetalia and we quickly hit it off. We soon asked what each other's OTPs were.

Me: Oh, I ship AmeCan.

Duchess: ...

Me: What is it?

Duchess: You realize they're brothers, right?

Me: Oh, I don't see them that way because [insert reasoning that I don't want to have to explain to non-Hetalians, just know that I explained that I didn't see them as brothers.]

Duchess: But it's canon. They canonly see each other as brothers.

Me: Oh...

In hindsight, I probably should have asked what she meant by “it’s canon”. Either way, I began to drift away from AmeCan due to lack of interest, and towards other ships (Romerica and AmeBela), and then to other fandoms. She still remained one of my closest friends.

Down The Rabbit Hole

I began to get really into kawaii culture and browsed the tags pretty regularly. Over time, I came across CG/L content. It squicked me out at first, but due to some sort of bile fascination, I began browsing CG/L blogs and began learning about that subculture. I actually enjoyed it quite a lot, but I knew that it would be inappropriate for someone my age (around 13-14 years old) to participate in kink, so I kept my distance and admired it from afar.

Soon, Duchess brought it up at lunch.

Duchess: I really hate seeing DDGL stuff everywhere.

Me: Haha, yeah...

Duchess: I mean, It's practically pedophilia!

Me: Mhm...

That's what I had thought at first too, before researching it. But she kept talking about it.

Duchess: They're sexualizing children, and children's toys! It's so gross! I actually made a blog against it.

Me: Whoa, really?

Duchess showed me her anti-CGL blog and I quickly followed it because she was my friend, and slowly began to follow other anti-DDLG blogs as well, even making my own: rise-against-ddlg. I took it down due to lack of interest, but antis had already grown on tumblr, and I was torn between my "don't like, don't look" policy, and wanting to "help" survivors. So outwardly, I became an anti, while guiltily reading "problematic" fic and playing "problematic" games in secret.

One such problematic game was Yandere Simulator, and I began to browse those tags too, when I discovered another anti blog, this time against Yandere Simulator and Alex Mahan, a.k.a. Yandere Dev. I learned he was fairly homophobic, sexist, and transphobic, especially in his own private chatroom, and began to idolize that anti blog. Suddenly, they released an invitation to a Skype group chat. Eager to meet my heroes, I quickly applied and was approved.

The Group Chat Incident

I loved that chat. It started with 15 people, but slowly trickled down to nine, including myself. I found myself isolating myself away from my real life friends and family, too focused on the group chat, as they made dropping out of high school and staying online all day sound cool. I kissed up to them, desperate to be seen as a good person. But, soon, I began to question myself and the group. The mods were very against "problematic" content, like Killing Stalking, and NSFW depictions of minors, but were also quick to draw NSFW of minors (specifically Budo and Senpai from YS). I introduced them tot he game Boyfriend To Death, and one of them quickly latched on to the character of Rire, who brutally rapes the protagonist in game, despite them being against rape. The main mod even introduced the group to a game called Artificial Academy 2, in which you can rape others and be raped.

...There was a lot of rape and NSFW in that chat.

But, there was also a hierachy. At the top were the two main mods of that YS blog, Mod H and Mod J. Joining them at the top was a very cool person and a good artist who acted very much like an older sibling to all of us, Member M. Then, there were three more people who tended to kiss Mod H, Mod J, and Member M's asses, and at the bottom was me, my friend Foam, and Member C. Mod H was the ruler of that chat. Anything they said, went, and if you disagreed, they'd suddenly play victim, manipulating and gaslighting you into apologizing. They loved Dragon Age, and now that game has been forever tainted for me, considering how much they shoved it down my throat. They would also tease me and my interest in Persona 5 (saying that the protagonist looked like The Onceler, subsequently calling me a "Onceler Fucker" for finding him attractive, along with making fun of when my tongue slipped and pronounced "Goro" as "Gort"), only stopping when I had Foam address the group to tell them to stop. There was a livestream that I was really excited for, talking about it since it was announced and they seemed hyped for me as well. Only when I placed a rabb.it link in the chat so we could all watch, only Member C showed up. When I returned to that chat, they were watching Yuri On Ice, and they wouldn't even let me talk about my livestream.

During that time period, I created a group chat for me, Foam, and another internet friend I will call Emilia. I though Foam and Emilia would get along really well, so i formed a Skype chat with them, and allowed them to talk. Slowly though, me and Foam began to use that chat to bitch about the group chat behind their backs, because we were terrified of the backlash if we tried to criticize them to their faces, due to Mod H's tactics of avoiding conflict. We soon added Member C to the chat as well, after they were constantly getting dogpiled by the rest of the chat.

That December, the Bode meme was in full swing and Foam mentioned in the group chat that he didn't get it. The group chat immediately began to make fun of him and I, sick of letting them control our lives, stood up for him. The group chat just continued to dogpile and we continued to try and fight until Mod H eventually left the chat, in one of their methods to get us to apologize to them. I was feeling overwhelmed and also left, and Foam tried to surrender and tell the chat to stop, but they wouldn't let up and he left too. Member C was the only member we remained on good terms with who was still in the group chat.

I made a post on my blog saying that i didn't want to interact with those people anymore and they got mad and began to try and message me. I eventually messaged an official statement, citing their abuse of me and Foam, and blocked all of them across social media.

They created a fake blog to get around the block, and I was dumb enough to fall for it.

Member C even turned on us, revealing me and Foam's messages with her and claiming we were abusing and bullying them. Suffice to say, I cut off all contact with Member C and changed my main blog's URL.

I was harassed and stalked and I carried that fear of them looking at my blog for a long time. I still worry about it sometimes.

The worst part, in my opinion, was that I changed my own name that I had chosen for myself because it had become a trigger for me hearing them say it so many times. And I really, really loved that name.

There was so much hypocrisy, so much fear in that chat. Now, looking back, I wished I had never joined, but in those months after I left...I felt empty inside. Aimless.

Out of curiosity, I looked up cult behaviors, and that chat hit nearly every single one. It's scary looking back on it. Even writing this, over a year after I left, my heart hurts.

But even leaving a cultish group chat didn't knock me out of anti-ism.

Villain Ships and Past Revelations

Remember how I mentioned that I love Persona 5? Well, I ship a ship called ShuAke, which a very loud subset of people claim is abusive.

Spoilers for Persona 5 up ahead.

ShuAke is a ship between the protagonist (shujinko in Japanese, which is where the "shu" comes from) and Goro Akechi. I shipped ShuAke since before Goro's name was announced, when all we knew was his design. Goro turned out to be a detective hunting the Phantom Thieves, the protagonist's group. The cat and mouse aesthetic really suited my fancy, with the protagonist's thief alter ego, Joker, seducing the naive Detective Prince. Swoon.

Of course, the ship shattered when the game was released in Japan and it turns out Goro tried to kill the protagonist, was working for the bad guy, and betrayed the whole group.

I was shocked and essentially went through the five stages of grief. I was torn between abandoning the "abusive" ship and evil character...or ignoring the haters and shipping it anyway. After way too much debate, I chose the latter and stuck with it.

The anti-ism died down quickly due to a lot of the fandom hibernating until the English release, and I happily shipped ShuAke and supported Goro Akechi with little objection. Even when the game was released in English, I stood my ground and even argued in support of Goro with anons.

And yet, I still considered myself an anti.

Late May of last year, some repressed memories came to light. I had been sexually abused by a close family member and a few girls at camp when I was younger, with other fragmented and questionable memories in my brain. It put my past into light, as I had also had a self destructive habit of attempting to seduce older men online, due to low self esteem. That was not a fun week for me, and I found myself diving into dark fic, particularly rape fic, in order to make sense of it all. I even wrote some in an effort to just get it out of my brain.

And it worked. It was really therapeutic for me.

And yet...

I still considered myself an anti. Every word I read or wrote was mixed with guilt over what I was doing, even though it worked. While I'm still a sexual abuse survivor, as I always will be, I'm much more well-adjusted by participating in those dark activities, rather than wallowing in self pity and slipping into a depression, like my old group chat would have expected me to do.

I dropped anti-ism later, with the help of one blog.

Back to "DL,DR"

The blog @anti-anti-survivor was recommended to me, and anti!me, looking for a laugh, clicked on it...and soon found that pretty much everything they said made sense to me. I saw Mod h in the people they argued with, Member C in the people they called out...and I realized that I had never been an anti, just hiding behind that label.

I sent an anonymous message to them (though I guess it isn't so anonymous anymore, ha), thanking them for opening my mind to it, and created my own anti-anti blog. I realize I'm not very active on here, but, well, I'm lazy and I'm more of a reader than anything else.

And of course, there was another problem.

Antis are fucking everywhere.

I'm terrified of posting pro-shipping stuff on my main, and I'm terrified of admitting I like problematic ships. I'm in a Discord server that keeps spouting anti-kink and anti-ship stuff, and I have to keep my mouth shut or risk being banned, just because most of the time they're really nice. Duchess even messaged me one day, absolutely shocked that I admitted to shipping Shidge.

I'm happy now that I don't have to feel that guilt but, reading what antis do and then finding out that people I hang out with are antis...it's horrifying. I'm not a confrontational person. I never have been. But I'm sick of rolling over and accepting what everyone else deems is problematic fiction.

I'm mentally ill, a sexual abuse survivor, and dark fic and dark shipping helps me cope.

Deal with it.

[mc-slowwalker]

ahahaha it’s all g. and oh yeah paragraph breaks are 100% important I also will not read something without them tumblr was just adding like 5 line breaks between everything lol

yeah!! it’s cool too see how they will heal and get better (at least hopefully lol) with their current circumstances cause like they’ve all hurt other people in some way and of course forgiveness is not required at all and not everyone will be able to work together. there are fics that make the egg kind of like a common enemy for everyone on the server including c!dream which forces them to work together but I haven’t really seen one that does that concept well yet. in terms of redemption I think people tend to take it as including forgiveness which like the people hurt aren’t obligated to forgive everyone. it’s why I tend to dislike fics where c!tommy instantly forgives c!dream cause there’s more complexity to it than that which I think is fun to explore and like I think for any kind of positive change for those two characters will probably happen if they stay away from eachother.

also currently in the lore there’s just more conflict, even with c!puffy trying to help at least c!tommy we’ve got the egg (I’m an eggpire apologist what can I say) plus the las nevadas plot (I’m so excited for this) and the prison arc and it’s effects on c!dream, c!quackity and c!sam (god please cc!dream drop lore I beg TELL ME ABOUT THE COURTYARD) and the syndicate that had been pretty chill but now one of its members is locked in prison so that’s fun too (I hope I’m not forgetting any major plot point lol) This will definitely make the moving forward and healing a bit difficult

mmm yeah true age definitely makes a difference in how much flack people get but also how people handle it I’d say like for some younger people it’s 100% their first fandom and first online space so they’re pretty bad at handling themselves online. also while I dislike the “they’re a child” argument when it comes to the lore it’s interesting how much emphasis the fandom puts on the age of the characters

oohhh yes I find it sooo interesting how we determine the severity of crimes in our minds when it comes to media and real life!!!! I’ve been thinking about it for weeks in terms of fandom and real life cause I think it’s interesting and keep talking to people in my life about it completely randomly lmaooooo. like it’s intriguing (I got bored of the word interesting) how seriousness of crimes is determined in our minds and even in the law like it’s gotta do with its effect on other people I think that this would apply to the law as well. also yeah!! the whole “acceptable” crimes thing is super interesting to me cause when it comes to media murder is reduced in severity a lot and it’s cool to see the effect of that on character analysis cause like in real life murder is and should be deemed as a terrible crime. also when it comes to dsmp lore, especially cause of the minecraft mechanics applying real world rules such as criminal ones doesn’t always work. I would lowkey love to have that conversation about real world stuff adjkhsb

the povs 100% help. looking and c!techno for this I think is really interesting cause he definitely has his flaws too but the vast majority of cc!techno viewers would be considered c!techno apologists that can’t see his flaws. every other character too of course. this also why I think c!dream apologists tend to be better at character/lore analysis cause he doesn’t stream his pov. not always of course and I’ve definitely seen some c!dream apologist takes that I disagree with which just makes it all even more interesting honestly. main takeaway, cc!dream please drop lore it’s been months since that teaser

this is definitely the longest ask I’ve ever sent and I didn’t proof read it at all so sorry for that and any possible mistakes lol

honestly with the egg stuff and being the common enemy doesn’t really do it for me? I always joke that the author is c!dream ajdjkd because I think a common enemy wont fix things for the sever, they need to stop the cycle of revenge/abuse which is going to take a longass time because everyone is hurting so much. They syndacate has gotten closest to stopping that cycle out of everyone in the server which is fucking hilarious. I agree that forgiveness isn’t required but for both c!dream and c!tommy if one of them doesn’t walk away and/or apologize they’ll both keep ruminating on it forever. The fic that started this conversation was great because one of the part where c!tommy comes in and apologizes to c!dream. The closure and freedom it gave c!tommy to just fully walk away content with the last thing he said to c!dream is way way better than a future where c!dream just straight up dies. Here’s the thing, people are a lot more forgiving of the dead so while tommy might get freedom from that, he’d never get closure from it and I think it would continue to haunt him

Very excited for everyone and everything to go worse though keep it up dream smp make me hurt

I also feel like with fandoms there were a lot of unspoken rules that became cringe as the older fandoms grew up if that makes any sense. Like there were/are guidelines on how to be decent in fan spaces but a lot of them were unspoken and if you speak them, the people who would need it think it’s cringe. Sometimes I get secondhand embarrassment when I see those “fandom rules” posts but then I read it and it’s all really good advice?? It’s like hey don’t send death threats don’t harass people and just chillax we’re all here for fun

The “they’re a child” thing is interesting to me because while I also use it to excuse a lot of the dream smp minors, the age range I use “they’re just a kid” for is a lot more lenient than most. I add sap, niki, jack, and quackity to it as well as anyone in the 18 through 20 age range as well. Maybe this is because I’m 19 so I’m like “oh shit im still a kid the fuck”. Another side of this that I think is really funny is that in real life that’s 100% not how it works? Like there are jails for children minors aren’t just allowed to do whatever and let me tell you c!tommy would 1000% be in juvie right now. Minors on the dream smp have way more rights then minors in real life but sadly that also comes with way more responsibility and I think we should make c!tommy pay taxes

Murder in the dsmp vs real life is also really interesting because while they have more lives, we’ve seen with foolish & puffy that even taking away a first life is traumatic and cruel despite the apathy from everybody. And who it’s against is also a hige factor if someone makes w hige company’s life harder I’ll look away in the same way that people look away from c!tommy taking two of c!dream’s canon lives. The first life seems traumatic, and the second life is bad but more so because they now have to be careful. Taking a character’s last life would be one of the worst crimes in the universe I think. Instead of taking one life like how url stuff works, you’re taking 3 lives. A murderer killing one person vs killing multiple can dictate the sentence they get for sure, but also taking lives vs killing someone is also different on the dream smp so I dunno

C!Dream apologists certainly have to reach a lot more but it’s okay because I got long arms ig

Also despite me having time to proofread everything I am confident that I will have as many or more mistakes than you because Im jared 19 and also I somehow broke my autocorrect

[underxrosetintedglass]

FAQ: Frequently Asked Questions

Hello! Lets get right to it! 

Here are the questions:

Who the Heck are You?

What this about?

How do you roleplay Pink Diamond? 

Who can roleplay with you?

How do I roleplay with you?

What are you looking for?

Whats your roleplaying style?

What are you up to right now?

Is this Single Verse? Multiverse?

What tags do you use?

Here are some tags:

admin stuff : Roleplaying things

pd talks about shit : (Me) and my rants…

memes : For opened posts, magical anons

headcanons : Drabbles from me, other canon I have accepted as my own

space lessons : Pink Diamond is a good study! Here are some things she has learned. 

You can find my stuff there~

Who the heck are you?

My name is PD! No, I have no relation to Pink Diamond!

I am actually an ethereal being that has also existed long before Pink Diamond did-

I like sunsets, walks on the beach… Mun is of age but I won’t be doing any smut here. That does not exclude some sensitive topics but this will mostly be SFW. I’ll tag it otherwise.

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Whats this about?

Literally, I have another Steven Universe RP blog, but I had been ruminating around about making a blog for Pink Diamond for awhile now; ever since the 4th season, actually.

It is inspired by a few of my own headcanons, “fandom-canons”, and my knowledge of South Korea. -Also a little bit about me: I studied abroad in South Korea for a bit! I’ll be using the cultural things I experienced there in this blog too c:

A summary for P.D’s Pink Diamond:

She is a very spoiled lead of a K-drama!

She even dies at the end!

Pink Diamond is the youngest diamond, after Yellow. She was made on Earth, though there is little record as to how and why. What is clear is that a good 75% of a continent is markedly missing (what we know is Russia).

She is very childish, preferring to distract herself with the novelties of Earth and it’s life (especially humans). Her main base of operations was in Korea.

As of the mainverse she is unaccounted for, but it is highly likely she is the originator of the “Arena Glam Rock” aesthetic. .

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How do you Roleplay Pink Diamond?

Glad you asked!

I have a particular approach to canon characters. I also love roleplaying with different canon versions of my muse. B) Its the best thing about roleplaying canon characters to be honest.

In my verses, all other Pink Diamonds exist on different planes of existence.

Sometimes reality can get kind of squirrely, so they meet each other. No variation of Pink Diamond is wrong in my eyes! Everyone has their different take and it’s just part of being creative.

If any one wants to talk about their muse and character development with me, I’m always down, just message me!

However, regarding Pink Diamond as antagonist-

My Interpenetration of Pink Diamond

My Pink Diamond wants to subjugate humanity and life on Earth as a means to spread (her) influence across the Universe. (This includes Steven as of the finale!)

 She has a hint of megalomania, seeking to control everything around her.

She can be possessive, manipulative, and has different set of morals then the norm.

Of course, I do not ever support the actions of my muse. I just play a villainess sometimes, and sometimes I want to play a (less) villainess middle schooler. This disclaimer is more for you then it is for me.

While all this is true: I will

NOT be playing the antagonist of your roleplay. Mostly because I have a certain way I play antagonists and, trust me, I’m really good at it. If you want me to play your antagonist, talk to me first.

NOT be torturing your muse. It needs to be repeated.

Not allow you to disrespect my muse without consequences. Some people think it’s cute to back talk dictators? There will be consequences. We can discuss them but... It won’t be pretty. Pink Diamond is more emotionally violent then she is physically, proposing to segregating the ones who don’t do as she says.

Discuss plots with you where Pink is the antagonist

Stop the roleplay when I feel uncomfortable. And I ALWAYS have this right. I play Pink Diamond because she’s interesting and fun. I will play her how I see fit. I won’t let any one dictate to me how I should be playing my muse. K?

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Who can roleplay with you?

I hate the terms “selective” and “Mutals-Only” by the way–

I will roleplay with any one who is creative and can contribute good ideas to a story.  – Any muse. Any Fandom. I also absolutely LOVE to make headcanons! Please PLEASE include me in your ideas.

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How do I roleplay with you?

Memes. Opened posts. Shoot me an ask. I can plot but I prefer to be pretty spontaneous and impromptu. You can also come say hi if you want. c:

I also except magical anons. …Do people still do these??

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What are you looking for?

Frequent Roleplay Partners!! Darn it, I just like making friends. I also like to see my partners rping with each other. B) Lets all just roleplay with one another. Come see the people I’m rping with! -Look at the admin stuff tag.

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!!! Develop your character, develop my character, heck why not both? Both is good.

More specifically:

Pre-established Relationships!

Wacky adventures across the fandomscape (sci-fi stuff, high fantasy stuff– naming actual fandoms, Dr. Who, Undertale, DnD, Marvel Universe~)

Drama

Angst!

MUSICALS!!!

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Whats your roleplaying style?

I personally use the “yes, and…” technique!

A quick lesson on improvisation: when you are writing or performing with someone else, always use the yes, and technique. All you do is go with the current scenario the person is suggesting and add small ideas to it – this keeps the flow of ideas forming. Try it! It’s great practice while roleplaying.

That being said, if you give me a random prompt and there is a 85% chance I’ll answer it. So please do. – Give me your prompts!!!! >:U

Contribute to the thread. Take it in a direction. Redirect a thread from a direction I’m taking it in. This is the way to keep me engaged in our thread, okay? Otherwise I do:

Third person narrative ONLY

Novel format (new lines and quotations) but rarely Script format (action marks and listed characters) with minimal formatting or reaction images. I do however occasionally sketch my reaction images. You can find those at this tag: sketch rp

3-6 sentences a post - which you DO NOT HAVE TO MATCH!! Just give me something to work with.

I can do longer posts if I really like what you’re writing about. /)u(\ Please don’t be intimidated, I just really like your writing.

NPCs (Non playable characters) or additional characters to the stories that push them along. I usually have 2-3 characters in an rp.

PRESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS (please!) come talk to me about it

Roleplaying tags- look for your tag (ask me) or your url to find your rp thread

AUS!!!!! (Alternative Universes)- Space is vast, a lot of weird things go on out there. Pink does have some other destinations of interest, let's talk about them B)

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What are you up to right now?

If you’d like to see what I’m talking about in general, check out the shit PD’s talking about.

If you’d like to see what RPs I’m doing, look at the admin stuff. It’s my goal to get my partners making verses with each other, honestly.

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Where can I learn more about your Pink Diamond?

Glad you asked! Check his headcanon tag. I’ll be updating it with descriptions, pictures, drabbles, and what what as they develop. c:

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Is this Single Verse? Multiverse?

Officially, this is  Multiverse Blog. The main canon of this blog is canon-divergent: Pinky exists as Pink Diamond, and not as a conduit for Steven’s power. However, she can interact with Stevens, “Rebellion Rose Quartzes”, and Pink Diamonds of other alternative universes. 

In this verse, Pink formed after the formation of the Diamond Authority. She was introduced by Blue Diamond as one of her ‘protege’. In my headcanon, the Authority is about 75,000 years old, Pink is about 50,000. Pink’s court, meanwhile, is far younger and she didn’t have it as long.

Here is the list of  verses:

v: Pre-Earth

Time period between Pink Diamond’s emergence and when the Authority grants her her first planet. Pink Diamond’s first in canon experience fits snugly into this verse.

She’s found by Blue Diamond on Earth and is inducted into the Authority as a conduit for some of Blue Diamond’s objectives. They aren’t much, just keeping White Diamond engaged and making Yellow Diamond learn more patience. 

However, Pink Diamond is shielded from a lot of the inner running of the authority, she’s stunted as an effect. Pink starts to actively defy her sisters in secret: stealing their injectors, playing around with making gems, sneaking into the logs, interacting with lower ranked gems. A lot of shenanigans and sand boxing in this verse.

v: Pink Court

Blue Diamond grants Pink her own planet and, subsequently, her own court.  This verse ends when the rebellion begins. She still has her court, of course, but the rebellion brought many of her projects to an end. 

By this verse, Pink has calmed down a lot and is focusing on specializing. She is learning more about her area of choice, Astrobiology, and develops most of her contributions to the Authority. This is when she makes Rubies and Rose Quartz.

v: Rebellion

Pink Diamond was established as a figurehead over Earth. It becomes clear she has no real power, so she orchestrates a “rebellion” in a bid to get more resources to expand her small colony. However, the Authority steps in and forces Pink to abandon her holdings on Earth and retreat to the Moon Base. After several thousand years of imprisonment, Pink then decides to stage her “assassination attempt" to reclaim the Earth in a bid to release the Earth.

She defies her sisters to go to Earth, trying to negotiate with the “renegade Rose Quartz”, she calls Kappa 12, a modified Rose Quartz she uses to insight the rebellion. 

With Kappa 12′s help, Pink flees to the Korean peninsula. Pink Diamond is then free to create her grand experiment, forming this Universe’s country of Korea and shutting down the continent completely. This verse ends when the Corruption Song is used on Earth. Kappa 12 and all other gems in Pink’s are the Crystal gems. However, Steven does not exist in her verse.

v: Post Rebellion

Period after the Corruption Song but before the Modern times. Pink spends her time trying to figure out how to cure corruptions and continuing her work on astrobiology. She eventually figures out how to embed gems into Earth’s underground biomes, gradually spreading her influence. Trees begin to grow up that have gems inside of them, staying in bloom even in the Winter.

v: Pink Peach

Set in the modern verse. Pink Diamond has now taken on punk rock in her exploits. Mainly because it’s fun. 

She remains hidden from the Authority, working on ways to “out evolve” them.

Of course, I will tag my verses and AUs appropriately!

You can find the list of the AUs here: Tagged AUS

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What tags do you use?

I believe in tagging. It keeps things organized, I can find it later maybe (if tumblr won’t stop breaking things).

I still tag, though, cause it makes it easier for you to find things!

My tags fall into these categories:

Verses

The way that I hash up my main verse. It just helps me organize when and where things happen with Pinky. These verses are so drawn out that many relationships often don’t carry over between them. The ones that do, of course, we can discuss. c: Ergo, this is a multiship rp. Pinky is also polyamorous, so any simultaneous relationships will also be discussed.

You can find my verses here.

Alternative Universes (AUs)

These are treated as “different universes”. Totally separate from verses.

Human AU: Pora Porum Mangjeol is a recent graduate in Bio-Engineering. However, she is an overachiever who graduated in 2 years and had a mental breakdown. Closely after, she decided to live her life and participates in the local roller derby for a few years. Eventually she would be an intern at the national science museum, but she’s slowly making her way. There is a sub-verse where Pora escapes her demanding childhood by fleeing to Mount Ebbott. In this Undertale-verse, she is bravery. You can read up on this verse on this tag: “Pora-has-a-great-fall”.

Upsidedown AU: AU where Pora Porum is Will Byers from Stranger Things. Please someone help this child...

High Fantasy: Pora Porum is a giantess trying to survive in a shrinking world. She comes from a lineage of mariner giants, who had escaped most of the poaching on land. When her clan returned her family was dismembered by mages, who use giants for their great concentrations of magic, and their ships were destroyed. Pora Porum flees into the mountains and must survive as one of the last giants.

Story Arcs

These are tags I used to sort one shot story arcs that I am doing with my admins! These might include several people over several threads in one shot scenes.

Chaos Bride Arc:

Involved admins: @thestevieststeve​​ @staterathesmol​

Pinky dabbles too much in dimensional travel and ends up sandwiched between two chaos gods. Apparently, you can find a lot of them in the Universe. Both of them want her for their own purposes and Pink, with very little resources to deal with inter-dimensional wide beings, pits them against each other.

Miscellaneous Tags

Here are a few tags I use to organize random things!

Dimensional Diablerie: This is a roleplay tag. Pink jumping through different dimensions. Development can happen. Pinky can also interact with various characters as Pink Diamond and not a human or whatever thing I decide to turn this muse into. Whatever.

Crack: This tag may sometimes have roleplay on it? All of the fun stuff and art and interactions. Theres no development here, just fun.

Dash Commentary:  This is another roleplay tag. Pinky reacting to things and characters on my dash. This is verseless but it can have some development...? (???)

admin stuff : Roleplaying things, including some references for art and writing.

pd talks about shit : (Me) and my rants…

memes : For opened posts, magical anons

headcanons : Drabbles from me, other canon I have accepted as my own

space lessons : Pink Diamond is a good study! Here are some things she has learned.

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[theinboxmemebook]

Possibly making a new RP blog? Follow this tutorial!

Hello! Have you been possibly wanting to start a new RP blog, but have never done so before? Well you’re in luck! I’m here to show you the ropes on creating your very own RP blog! I will be putting it under a read more, since this post will indeed be long!

Let’s begin!

First off, I will go over the necessities of an RP blog. You are required to have these in order to launch your RP blog into effect.

1.   URL

Before you even make the blog, coming up with a URL can be rather tough. If the character you are RPing as doesn’t have their name as a URL claimed yet, claim it. Having a Canon URL for an RP blog can be very useful with getting out there, especially if of a well-known franchise, because it grabs the attention of other RPers. Even if your character is original, try to claim their name if possible.

Some alternatives if this doesn’t work: Make your URL a brief description of them. Some examples, such as Mario from the “Mario Bros.” franchise could be named “redplumber”. Just experiment until you find one that sounds well enough and can describe your character.

Some side notes:

If you are multimuse, a good suggestion is their name as a group. For example, continuing with the “Mario Bros.” franchise, you could be “mushroomkingdomkeepers”, or “bowsersminions”.

Some people tend to put “c”s and “x”s in placement of vowels in URLs if the URL they want is already claimed. So, if “redplumber” was taken, you could be “redplumbxr”.

Despite all of the examples shown, you can have dashes in your URL. “red-plumber” can also work.

2.       About/Rules page.

There is a 99% chance you won’t get anybody to do threads with you if you don’t have one of these. (Or both, depending on the strictness of people). The about page can describe you, the mun, alongside with your muse. Remember, your AU, your own muse will be different despite canons. Be sure to list off any nicknames, fears, likes, dislikes, etc. for your character.

A good source to fill out for your muse to put in your about page: http://slytherinsheiress.deviantart.com/art/Very-Very-Basic-Character-Sheet-340098566

Another good thing to put in your about page is what type of style you RP in. There’s many different styles of RPing. These can include: One line, a few sentences, paragraph, multi-paragraph, novella. Your styles will vary, so be honest and put the one you most normally do.

Most script-styled RP blogs will use either One line or a few sentences, while story-styled RP blogs will stick to paragraph/multi-paragraph responses. Rarely will you find a novella style RPer, however, they tend to be very high quality.

As for your rules page, don’t be afraid to list off things that make you uncomfortable. People need to know the boundaries they need to respect when RPing with you. If you don’t say a thing about them, then chances are it can possibly happen.

Some really good ideas to put in your rules:

Specify if your muse(s) is interested in getting into a romantic/sexual relationship Specify if you’ll do NSFW RPs. Specify what your requirements are for RPing with someone (Rules page, types of replies, possibly.) Be sure to try your best and be descriptive. Just don’t be too much, or you can come off intimidating.

Side notes: For most people, their RP style is somewhere around paragraph and multi-paragraph, and they will normally be okay with multisentence replies. Rarely will you find multi-paragraph RPers that tolerate one-line replies.

3.       Introductory post.

As for your introductory post, this is the first thing most people will see off of you, and probably your only post that will get reblogged by multiple people. You want to make sure that it’s appealing. Most formats of RP blogs tend to have this style for their introductory post:

(Picture of their muse(s))

(Brief description of muse(s), or quote(s) that describe muse(s))

(Describing the blog you are running, basically, keeping the “Mario Bros” example: “RP Blog for Mario from Super Mario Bros.”

(links to their Rules/About/Ask pages)

Side notes: Pictures mostly stay as edited versions of canon pictures, if said character is canon.

Pictures will say what type of RP blog you run aswell.

There are mainly 4 types of RP blogs you can run. Well, technically 3.

Not Selective: You are willing to RP with literally anyone that goes into your inbox. And you mean anyone. This includes crossovers from fandoms that you may not be familiar with. Any style of RPing would be permitted.

Semi-Selective: You are willing to RP with people who are within your boundaries of fandoms, maybe even some other fandoms you are familiar with. You will generally search through their blog yourself before deciding on doing threads with them.

Selective: You will pick the people you RP with, and you are very strict and closed about who you do threads with.

Private: RP blog was most likely just made to RP with a few friends, and you have a very low chance, probably less than 1%, of starting a thread with them if you aren’t already their friend.

4.       Interactions

This part will be a little short, mainly due to there being only 1 point to this. There may be people that come to you, requesting threads due to your introductory post. There are no guarantees, however. You will need to branch out and locate other RP blogs that catch your interest if you want to start threads. Not just that, but you’ll start threads with people you enjoy, as well. If you’ve been wanting to make an RP blog to try and interact with that one semi-selective person, now’s your chance to go for it! Be sure to read their rules, however, to make sure that they’re open to discussing possible threads with new people. Some people aren’t cool with getting stuff like that in their ask box/messenger.

 Now, we can move onto the optional things!

5.       Icons

Icons will be a picture of your muse doing an emote that you can place into your threads to give it more life! People will see visibly how your muse is feeling by the actions that just happened to them before, and it gives a clearer image of how they feel. Most of these you see before the muse says dialogue, and most icons end up showing different emotions. Most blogs normally have a handful of them.

WARNING: DO NOT STEAL ART AND EDIT THEM TO USE THEM AS ICONS. YOU MUST ASK THE FORMER ARTIST FOR PERMISSION TO EDIT/USE THEIR ART AS ICONS. IF THE ART IS YOUR OWN, YOU MAY PROCEED. IF THE ARTIST AGREES TO LET YOU USE THEIR ART, YOU MAY PROCEED. IF THE ARTIST SAYS “NO”, DO NOT ARGUE, AND FIND OTHER POSSIBILITIES. Artists can get distraught from people not asking permission before using their art for RP blogs. Please be sure to ask and receive permission before using it. Canon pictures are permitted.

6.       HTML

While also not a requirement, you may notice the amount of RP blogs that have smaller text in their replies than most Tumblr text posts. In order to achieve this small text size, to reduce the overall size of your thread on everyone’s dashboard, you must do the following:

-     Make a new Text Post

-     Click on the gear on the upper right corner

-     Click “text editor”, and click “HTML”

-     To get small text, type in <small> before you type your words, and </small> afterwards.

-     Be sure to type in </small> at the end of a paragraph and retype <small> upon a new paragraph.

-     Example: <small> There was always a short amount of time. </small>

 Your RP partners will appreciate this!

 7.       Trimming

If your posts aren’t trimmed, chances are, you won’t get so many threads. Be sure to trim your threads after a couple of replies, because if you don’t, your followers will have to suffer scrolling through the longest dashboard ever! I made a tutorial on trimming posts on my main blog quite a long time ago: http://ask-the-fnaf-cast.tumblr.com/post/152133123381/tutorial-on-trimming-rp-posts

I hope this post has really helped you begin setting up finding the key to unlock your door in the RP universe! Please also remember the singular most important thing in running an RP blog: HAVE FUN!

[battlegeekplus]

Battle Geek Plus: 6 Years Later

Hey guys, Ryan here.

It’s been 6 years since we’ve launched Battle Geek Plus into the wild. On October 1, 2011, we launched the official BGP website with 10 videos on our old YouTube Channel and now defunct blip account. Around March of 2012, we lost our adsense account and decided to move to our current channel in August of 2012. Alot of people think we started in 2012 due to our channel stating that in our about page, but we really started in 2011 and I wanted to clear up that confusion.

After six years, we have over 5000 subscribers and over 700 videos, so where do we stand now?

Battle Geek Plus is not my first foray as an internet content producer. I’ve been through the ups and downs of internet success and failures, but I have entertained millions of people worldwide in various different ways.

I want to talk about not only the origins of Battle Geek Plus, but a bit into my background and to do that, we at least need to go all the way back to my childhood and teen years, most specifically 1997-1999. This is reflection on my nearly 2 decades of content creation.

As a kid, I always loved being creative. I did everything from write stories, draw pictures, make comic books about video game characters, etc. None of these things I was particularly good at, but I had so much fun doing them anyways. From an early age, I always *had* to be making stuff and being creative.

In 1997 as a teenager in high school, I got into making webpages about various subjects like video games and Sailor Moon. In 1999. had achieved my first *real* success, a Dragon Ball Z website called “Vegeta Insane” dedicated to the character of Vegeta under my old nickname “Castor Troy” from the Nicolas Cage movie, Face/Off. You can still find remnants of my DBZ work by looking up “Castor Troy DBZ” on google.

Since Dragon Ball Z was exploding through Cartoon Network and even topped the search engines over Britney Spears in 1999, I garnered a massive audience of fans and it was the first time I felt I received real recognition for the silly ideas in my head. Later in 1999, I made my first AMV (Anime Music Video) and that literally skyrocketed my traffic to the point where I had to leave free website hosting services like Geocities and accepted a hosting deal with the prestigious planetnamek.com, which was the biggest Dragon Ball Z site on the web at the time.

In 2000, I rebranded Vegeta Insane as “Ginga GIRI GIRI” in order to cover all of Dragon Ball other than just Vegeta. Sadly the Internet Advertising Crash of 2000 happened which forced me to move Ginga GIRI GIRI off planetnamek. The early 2000′s was a pretty horrible time to have a website. Many of the free providers like Geocities were enforcing a 1GB bandwidth limit for their webpages per day. Homestead, Angelfire, Tripod, and Fortune City would literally plaster your pages with ads, and many people we knew who had hosting and servers didn’t wanna touch us. Those who hosted us would literally kick us off within a few months so our site URL was always changing.

In 2001, my site partner Mike aka Dr. Bond decided to finally get us a dedicated server that he was paying out of his own pocket and by 2002 they gave us our final bandwidth warning and shut us down. We finally decided to close the doors on the DBZ web as I moved onto AMVs.

Working on Vegeta Insane and Ginga GIRI GIRI not only let me express my creativity and love for Dragon Ball, the skills I learned making those sites landed me jobs in both the web and graphic design fields, allowed me to have a casual business relationship with FUNimation that we still maintain to this day (They put me on the DBZ Resurrection F Blu Ray Extras!), and helped me develop a large audience and make more friends than I could ever dream of.

In the early 2000′s, AMVs were starting the take off, especially digitally edited ones on computers as opposed to 2 VCRs. I wasn’t an early generation AMV editor like Bobby “C-Ko” Beaver, Maboroshi Studios, Kusoyaro Productions, Kevin Caldwell, etc, but I was lucky enough to catch the AMV ride on the advent of the digital age and the massive influx of AMV contests at conventions. A friend of mine convinced me to enter AMV contests at conventions and over the years AMVs provided me a ton of great opportunities that I would have never dreamed of. I’ve won over 2 dozen awards, coordinated several Multi-Editor Projects, was a guest at conventions, spoke on panels, had an AMV play in the Nokia Theater (now the Microsoft Theater) where the winners of American Idol were announced, ended up working in the film industry as a paid professional editor, entertained packed rooms of 6000+ people, and made tons of fans and close friends that I still remain in contact with to this day.

In 2005, the AMV community wasn’t prepared for the advent of a new and upcoming website:

YouTube.

Now AMVs existed in a legal gray area where we were protected by fair use as our AMV work was transformative in nature, so the anime companies would usually turn a blind eye to them. However, the music industry was not so forgiving as we usually used full, unedited songs as we mashed up anime footage to the rhythm of the songs. Anime Music Videos.org, one of the biggest resources for AMVs on the web was hit by a cease and desist letter by the record label of Creed, Seether, and Evanescence forcing the .org to remove all videos containing songs with those bands, regardless of the lead singer of Evanescence being a huge fan of AMVs to her work.

People were also uploading our AMVs to YouTube without our permission, usually gaining thousands upon million of views, so we had to begrudgingly join YouTube in order to combat these unauthorized uploads. I started my first YouTube account in 2005 and gained millions of views for my AMV uploads.

After google purchased YouTube in 2006, things began to change as YouTube began rolling out “Copyright Violations” which was what Content ID was called back in the day. I remember getting my first copyright violation in 2007 and was forced to delete one of my AMVs from my channel. A year later in 2008, I got my first copyright strike from TOEI animation. Throughout the years, my videos would constantly get both copyright violations and strikes, but never hitting the 3 strikes needed to terminate my account. Sadly, in 2011, my first YouTube account finally bit the dust as TOEI finally gave me my third strike. I’ve tried to appeal various times, but to no avail.

Also in 2011, my interest and passion towards AMVs was dwindling down because I had wanted to finally start moving onto filmmaking and directing. I tried to convince myself to pursue filmmaking and do AMVs on the side, but I realized I couldn’t do both, so I had made the decision to finally retire from AMVs in 2012 and go out with my final video “Naruto Ball Z Shippuden: Heroes Come Back” which was a crossover between Dragon Ball Z and Naruto Shippuden. It went on to win over a dozen awards, including Best of Show at Sakura Con in Washington and my home con of Anime Expo. I couldn’t have asked for a better way to go out with a bang.

Even though I’ve been on YouTube since 2005, I was still very unaware of how the algorithm worked and what audiences liked, I was a huge fan of the Angry Video Game Nerd, The Nostalgia Critic (who was on blip at the time), Angry Joe, Mega64, etc. Back then, YouTube was just a dumping ground for my AMVs and never thought it was something people could make a living off of.

In early 2011, Josh had created the original Battle Geek Plus as “Wild Project Battle Geek Plus” which was a parody of Japanese sounding titles. He only recorded 5 episodes and asked me for feedback on them. He also said he was going to be moving to California from Indiana and asked if I wanted to be involved with BGP. My initial reaction was we were going to continue the current “Wild Project Battle Geek Plus” show and I would be a supporting character.

When Josh and his girlfriend (now wife) Heather came to California to do apartment hunting, we had dinner and Josh explained he wanted to do a reboot of the Battle Geek Plus brand from scratch, so I proposed that we follow the structure of The Nostalgia Critic’s site: thatguywiththeglasses.com where we would have a site featuring videos.

When Josh and Heather finally made the move to California in Summer of 2011, I had just won a $1500 prize from the Anime Expo 2011 AMV Contest and used that to buy our first DSLR camera, the Canon T2i which was highly recommended by our friends. We filmed several videos over the summer and finally launched the BGP site on October 1, 2011.

Our initial audience was just our family and friends at first, but we had our first semi-viral hit in Nov 2011 with our “Batman Arkham City Addiction” skit which got over 10,000 views overnight. I was still very unaware of how successful content creators released videos on YouTube since the only thing I knew from The Nostalgia Critic was to release a video weekly.

As the weeks went by into 2012, our videos were only averaging 60-100 views even after the success of Batman Arkham City Addiction. By 2011, the YouTube Algorithm had changed to cater to longer videos and the majority of our skits were on the short side. Sometimes we would get 500-1000 views if we got lucky, but the traffic was never consistent.

In early 2012, we got an email from former MMA fighter Bas Rutten who saw our “Boss Booten” parody videos and complimented us. Bas was awesome enough to send us free shirts and even invited us to hang out at the beach with him. This was our first real celebrity encounter from doing Battle Geek Plus.

In March of 2012, there was an exploit going around YouTube called “clickbombing” where people would use programs to massively click ads on videos to raise the revenue and would end up getting your adsense account shut down. This happened to quite a few YouTubers, most famously Markiplier’s first channel. I remember checking our adsense account and noticed we had earned several thousand dollars from a Skyrim parody video. Hours later, when I tried to log into our adsense account again, I got the dreaded “Your adsense account has been suspended” message. I’ve tried to appeal several times, but was denied each time. We stayed on the old channel to at least try to get more of an audience until August of 2012.

It was really difficult having to start again from scratch because out of our 2000+ subscribers we earned from the old channel, only about 200 of them followed us to the new one and less than 50 watched our reuploaded videos.

In 2013, I tried to apply to attend E3 with the Battle Geek Plus website and YouTube channel, but was denied. A friend of mine from the AMV community put us in touch with Team Kaizen Games who were able to get us into our first E3 and we’ve been great friends with them ever since. At E3, we were able to meet alot of developers and even had dinner with developers and executives from Eidos Montreal and Square-Enix.

Later in 2013, Screwattack used to feature user content on their front page and advertised several of our videos which brought us some good traffic. I had also decided to send some of our videos to the newly developed Smosh Gaming Alliance and they praised and awarded several of our videos on their channel.

The biggest prize of all in 2013 would be when Capcom was hosting a Ducktales Sing-Along contest for their Ducktales Remastered release, so I went to Disneyland and filmed a video there dressed as Scrooge McDuck. Not only did I win the contest, I was featured on the Ducktales Remastered Homepage and I was given one of the rare Ducktales Remastered Press Kits. Thanks to the Screwattack, Smosh, and Capcom promotions, we earned about 1500 subscribers about a year into our new channel.

However, because I didn’t have an adsense account anymore and I couldn’t monetize any of these new opportunities. I got a partnership with Maker for a 50/50 split which was a big mistake. Luckily I was able to break away from Maker in 2015 and joined the much better Screenwave Media MCN.

2014 was one of the toughest years of my life as I was fired from my previous full time job in 2013 and after getting nothing from applying to every job I could, I went with a temp agency that placed me at jobs only lasting from one week to one month. It was stressful for me that year because I never knew how long my jobs would last and if I would be able to pay the rent.

However, 2014 was also probably the most important year for BGP for the following reasons:

- We made our first business deal with PDP and Nintendo at E3 2014 to promote their Wired Fight Pads for the Wii U.

- We applied for the thatguywiththeglasses.com (Now Channel Awesome) talent pickup and were accepted out of 1200+ applicants.

We were still a small channel at 1500 subscribers and only getting 10-60 views a day regardless of the Screwattack, Smosh, and Capcom promotions from the previous year, but we were able to make our first real business deal and get a chance to work with one of my idols, The Nostalgia Critic months within each other.

However, all of this was short lived as 5 days later after our acceptance into Channel Awesome, I was let go from my current job which added alot of stress to my life. Unfortunately, we were still months away from our debut on the site, so my main goal was to not starve/be homeless/etc. to finally see our videos get posted on Channel Awesome.

Throughout most of 2014, I started to feel tightness in my chest and muscles throughout my body, regardless of keeping up my workout regime consistently. In October of 2014, I had finally felt my first full on panic attack which literally felt like I was having a heart attack. I called 911 and was immediately rushed into the ER. I was informed by the doctors that it was a panic attack and not a heart attack and there hasn’t been a day since October of 2014 where I haven’t felt tightness and numbness in my body due to stress. I’m taking medications now, but the main culprit of all of this was the stress I was feeling not being able to keep a job and wondering if I was going to still keep a roof over my head.

In 2015, I wanted to finally do a big crossover with all of the other Channel Awesome Producers which was the Capcom Bidding War. While the video didn’t get the reception I expected, it was hands down, the most beneficial video I ever did for the channel as it helped me get in contact with the rest of my Channel Awesome producers, it helped land us cameos in the TMNT 2014 and Hocus Pocus Nostalgia Critic reviews, and tons of other cameos with the other producers. I still remember how excited I was when I got my first email response from Doug Walker himself only a few hours after I emailed him saying that he was totally cool with cameo-ing in the Capcom Bidding War and getting his footage days later.

Shortly after E3 2015, Josh sat us all down and tried to explain why our channel wasn’t growing as fast as we wanted it to. It was mostly because we weren’t focused and were trying to release a different video every week. I always thought just as long as you had a consistent schedule, that’s all what mattered, but our schedule would be a different type of video each week and audiences weren’t always into different videos. Josh also explained we were a small 4 person team trying to make enough shows to become our own network.

For example, one week would be a sketch, the next week would be a Kung Kwon Todd video, then the week after that would be a Jimmy Buckrider video, etc. Even though we were posting consistently week after week, our content wasn’t one consistent show that our audience was expecting every week.

Josh saw that one of our old Let’s Play videos got a decent response, so he suggested we stick to doing a Let’s Play video every week and we called the show just plain “Battle Geek Plus” which was eventually re-branded to “Battle Geek Plus: We Play Games”.

The reception to “Battle Geek Plus: We Play Games” was modest, but nothing spectacular. I had alot of difficulty editing the show mostly because we agreed to keep episodes 15 minutes or shorter, but we had over 30+ of footage each time and it was *very* difficult to cut that all down to 15 minutes. Also, “Battle Geek Plus: We Play Games” was on a much tighter deadline since we could barely have episodes done ahead of time due to our different schedules.

In 2016, our main gaming review show, “Awesome Video Game Memories” was beginning to pick up some steam and Josh was also pushing us to have a podcast for many years. Seeing the feedback eventually made us decide to focus on “Awesome Video Game Memories” as our flagship weekly show and we also released our first “Waxing Pixels” podcast episode that year as well.

Josh also recommended that we start playing games live on twitch and I started streaming daily, but burned out heavily midway into 2017 trying to balance streaming and producing edited content.

After the reception to the Capcom Bidding War, I was pretty discouraged from doing another big crossover with my fellow Channel Awesome producers which is why we didn’t do one in 2016. I decided to bite the bullet and wanted to create a documentary based on our own experiences with the Nintendo vs. Sega war. I came up with an outline, a script, and asked Doug Walker if he wanted to be part of it and he immediately agreed.

I was incredibly afraid to release a big video on this scale due to the reception of the Capcom Bidding War, but to my surprise, the Nintendo vs. Sega video with the Nostalgia Critic not only received a massively overwhelming positive response, which was a complete 180 from the Capcom Bidding War. It became our most successful video to date which still gets us views to this day.

Now that it’s been 6 years since we began Battle Geek Plus and 20+ years since I started doing internet content in general, where do I stand now and what are my reflections of all of this?

I would have to say my internet content “career” in general has been alot like Kevin Smith’s (my favorite director).

DBZ Websites: Clerks AMVs: Chasing Amy Battle Geek Plus: Tusk

DBZ websites were my first initial claim to fame which got me millions of views throughout the years, AMVs while a much smaller community, was my most well received work critically, and Battle Geek Plus was my more experimental phase with mixed results, but nowhere near as well received as the previous 2 efforts.

I left the DBZ web site community mostly because of bandwidth problems in the early 2000′s, but I brought back my DBZ site in 2010 as an archive of all my work at http://www.3gkai.com

Alot of people have criticised me personally on why I left AMVs when I was at the top of my game and the main reason was to pursue filmmaking. Like “Why did you give up all that fame and fortune to do YouTube videos in an already saturated market?”. My declining interest in anime and amvs was already beginning to become apparent as far back as 2006 after the big YouTube boom with members of the AMV community quitting altogether to pursue other things and it was hard to stay motivated without the community I was used to. I was also going through that phase in 2006 where I was entering my last 2 years of college and had to wonder “What am I gonna do with my life?”. When I was managing the 4th Video Game AMV Project in 2007, I *really* felt the massive dissonance of working on that as opposed to the 3rd Video Game AMV Project in 2005 where we had a more dedicated and motivated group. An archive of the 5 Video Game AMV Projects I helped coordinate is at: http://www.vg-projects.com

2005 was the year I felt was the last really big year in AMVs in terms of community, innovation, and general camaraderie before the YouTube boom and every one I knew moving onto different things. After seeing AVGN, The Nostalgia Critic, and many other webshows, that was the path I wanted to start moving towards.

I still put every bit of energy into all of the AMVs I did from 2006-2012 and announced my retirement when my Naruto Ball Z: Shippuden video won the Best of Show at Sakura Con 2012.

When doing Battle Geek Plus, my absolute favorite part of any AVGN, Nostalgia Critic, or Angry Joe video were the sketch parts, so I wanted to mostly focus on different types of sketches with wacky characters based on video games.

Unfortunately, when we entered the webshow scene in 2011, the YouTube algorithm had already changed to cater to longer videos and reviews were still king, so we were kind of doomed from the very start in a way.

Shows like Battle Geek Plus Adventures, Kung Kwon Todd, Jimmy Buckrider, Boss Booten, Totally Tubular Tim and many other of the wacky characters we made are shows I could *never* pitch to anyone convincingly, so I always made those shows for myself because *I* wanted to see how they would turn out. I do admit that I cringe watching alot of my older videos, but I actually started rewatching alot of the older videos while vodcasting them on our twitch channel and had a good time watching them again because I remember I loved the “new-ness”, the excitement, and remembering the happy person I was years ago working on them.

There are many times I felt that I wanted to turn back the clock and just begin with reviews right off the bat instead of sketches, but now I wouldn’t trade those memories for anything in the world because of the great memories and excitement I had coming up with and working on them to see the finished products.

Every time I feel sad and frustrated due to the lack of views and growth, I always have to remind myself: I chose this path. I could have easily stayed on the top in the AMV community, but I would see AVGN, Nostalgia Critic, and many other webshows through the looking glass and say “I wish I could be like them.”. Now, my group and I are part of that.

Without the sketches and wacky characters me and the crew have created, Battle Geek Plus would not be where it is today. We certainly would have not been praised by Bas Rutten himself, get our first business deal with PDP and Nintendo, and get on Channel Awesome. Even though we were a much smaller channel back in the day, they all saw a potential in us through our work itself rather than the views and subscribers.

This is why my stance on views, subscribers, and especially *the numbers* have changed and they don’t mean to me as much as before.

Let’s be honest here. It’s not difficult to get views.

We can simply start making drama videos, calling out other youtubers, capitalizing on controversial topics, etc to easily get the clicks.

Or we can simply ride on the latest fads like Spider-Man vs. Elsa, and many of the other ones throughout the years like reply girls, Gangam Style, etc.

In all honesty, the content we make would have been far more relevant in 2007-2008. Who wants to see another “Mega Man 2 review” in 2017? Why not focus on all the newer games?

Because I wanna make the content that *I* want to make without trying to cater to the YouTube algorithm or trying to get those clicks. Yeah, people have done tons of Mega Man 2 and Super Mario Bros reviews before, but I wanted to explain my personal memories with them because they are my own and nobody else’s.

It’s *very* easy to manipulate the system in order to just get views, but I don’t want to do that. I tried reviewing newer games while they were still relevant in the past, but would always get far more traffic for videos covering older games.

I want to make content that I’m passionate about and want to be proud of. Audiences can EASILY see when you’re being dishonest and desperate for attention and relevance. I never want Battle Geek Plus to be the center of any drama or anything controversial. I simply came into this just wanting to express the weird ideas in my head rather than trying to be the next *big youtuber*.

I’ve been through the highs and lows of internet fame multiple times before and it’s *NEVER* easy to be in a big position no matter how much views, subs, and money you get. Everything on YouTube is dictated by advertisers and constantly changing algorithms. YouTube is honestly in a weird place right now where it doesn’t know what it wants to be. Back then, YouTube was a place where you could put your cat and family videos, hence why their old motto was “Broadcast Yourself”. But with the TV and Movie Studios constantly imposing their copyright rules, people abusing the system for clicks and views, YouTube is trying to move into being more of a corporate TV station rather than a place where people used to post videos for fun, so I’m very uncertain about the future of the platform.

I feel that I’m very fortunate to have gotten into content creation far before we were ever able to get paid for it. I never earned a dime for any of my DBZ websites or AMVs (except the $1500 prize money from Anime Expo 2011′s AMV Contest), but working on those led me to actual paid jobs and careers over the years. DBZ websites and AMVs were never about the money. It was always about just having fun and expressing myself.

When it came to YouTube and the promise of a monetary reward, I do admit I used to be really obsessed trying to make YouTube my living for a long time and even tried to make content catering to *their* rules with mixed results. I would feel discouraged and jealous at times saying “Why did that guy who filmed himself falling off a bike get far more traffic and a sponsor deal than the videos I spent hours on?”.

I’ve seen a ton of people trying to get into the YouTube game feeling all gung-ho at first and after the first few months or years without any progress, they immediately quit. It pains me to see people not live up to their potential because of the prospect of being able to become famous and make money was their major goal and not doing it for the fun. I had a friend who made really good comedy videos, but he quit due to the lack of views.

Personally, I’m just “wired” to make content and be creative. Playing games is fun and all, but I’ll go absolutely *nuts* if I don’t create something. I absolutely love the entire process of making content from the initial thought process to the finished product.

Do I still want to do videos for a living? Absolutely, but I’m not as concerned or obsessed as I was about it before. If it’s gonna happen, I’ll get there *my* way without catering to short lived trends, advertisers, and algorithms. I want to create a body of work that can still be evergreen no matter when you watch it. I want an archive and a library of work rather than quick videos nobody will watch in the future.

I’d rather do a review of Bubble Bobble than Destiny 2 any day of the week.

I got into DBZ Websites and AMVs just at the right time, but I entered the realm of webshows in 2011 which was already far past the prime date to grow. But, I don’t let that discourage me.

Battle Geek Plus is in a weird position on YouTube where we don’t get that many views on the initial releases of our videos, but over time, people begin finding alot of our older stuff. While the view count still isn’t huge for our archive, it shows that people are still finding our work regardless of it being years old.

I know we’ve slowed down alot in the variety of shows we do mostly for time reasons and my personal health. I really want to approach things from a more relaxed and chill perspective rather than trying to chase the shiny object that will get us the most views. I’m at the age where I really need to be more concerned about my health and don’t want to stress out over things like subscribers, views, and numbers that take away from me creating videos.

As we move into the final months of 2017 and the beginning of 2018, here are few things I have planned that I can disclose right now:

- There’s going to be a major step up in quality for the “Awesome Video Game Memories” series as we’re planning to make bigger, better, and more in-depth episodes. We’re also going to slowly incorporate alot of the classic Battle Geek Plus humor like we did in our Nintendo vs. Sega video in a way where it won’t disrupt the video. I know alot of people have been asking “When’s Kung Kwon Todd or *insert character here* coming back?” and even though our original characters haven’t been a main priority for a while, you’ll see them come back in many ways as we really step up the quality of the Awesome Video Game Memories series.

- We’re going to focus alot more on twitch streaming and also doing alot of special stuff to make our streams more fun and interactive. I burned out on streaming a few months ago, but now I feel that I’ve found a good pace for myself without feeling forced or mentally exhausted. The other BGP crew members are also planning on streaming on days that I won’t be streaming.

- We’ve moved our Waxing Pixels Podcast to a live broadcast on Twitch with audio only versions being released on YouTube and itunes. We also plan to have special events and guests in future episodes.

- Since the Battle Geek Plus Universe is so huge and expansive, there will be a huge emphasis on our “Universe” with our new channel trailer and special videos and events that will reference that.

- I’ve already spoken with Doug Walker and there’s going to be *several* collaboration videos with the Nostalgia Critic next year as opposed to only one per year. I also plan to do more collaborations with my fellow Channel Awesome producers and other producers.

As they say, the journey is always far more important than the destination and doing webshows felt like the fresh start from the bottom I needed after being on the top in the DBZ and AMV communities for several years. I do admit there were times I felt discouraged about my lack of growth, but nowadays, I’m grateful for every little victory and opportunity I’ve had with Battle Geek Plus. Starting from the bottom again has really made me appreciate the hard work that me and the rest of the BGP crew puts into every aspect of our production and now it’s time for us to scale things up to *our* liking and not for any trends, advertisers, or algorithms.

I’m still excited for the show more than ever. Not in the “OMG new-ness” way back in 2011, but from a more refreshed and relaxed perspective. I want to work smarter and not harder. I still want to do this as my living, but I realize even if it never happens, I still have a massive body of work for over 2 decades or more that I’m going to be really proud of.

As for wondering if Battle Geek Plus has been successful or not? Well, I work with some of *the* greatest content producers on the internet, work with various gaming/tech/anime companies, and got the attention of a celebrity like Bas Rutten. We get to go to tons conventions and events, meet new people, and BARELY any of this has to do with views and subscribers as our work speaks for itself. Even though we have small fanbase, I’m always happy to chat with them on twitter, our comments, and twitch. Whether we have 10 or 10000 subscribers, I’m always willing to take time out of my day to tell them how I’m doing and ask about how they’re doing as well.

Right now, I work a really stable day job that I enjoy, doesn’t stress me out, and pays me well to still invest in the show. I live in a nice apartment that’s a short commute from my job, and I exercise regularly to keep my stress levels down. All of this is a major positive change from 2014.

Battle Geek Plus sits at over 5000 subscribers and while that’s still considered small, it’s far leap from when we struggled to even get our first 50.  I’m here to continue the journey to grow as both a producer and person with the simple mission of expressing the wacky ideas I have in my head.

Here’s the links again to all of my old and current work:

3G Kai - Ginga Giri Giri Kai: My DBZ and AMV archive: http://www.3gkai.com/

Video Game AMV Projects: http://vg-projects.com/

Battle Geek Plus YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/bgpawesome

Battle Geek Plus Website http://www.battlegeekplus.com/

Battle Geek Plus Twitch: http://www.twitch.com/battlegeekplus

My Twitter: https://twitter.com/ThatRyanMolina

BGP Twitter: https://twitter.com/BattleGeekPlus

Thanks for reading and stay awesome!

- Ryan

[serurianouji]

do the meme for kinchan :O (also im so dumb, ive forgotten where the link to your /ask is, i had to enter the URL manually ;-; pls tell me where it is so that next time i can be lazy and just click a link ;;;;)

[meme]

UMMM no Lib you are not because i actually have no link for my ask until you pointed out kjfdlf sorry sorry ;; but i have now added the link on #4 in the navigation  c:

How I feel about this character

My son. Whenever I watch animes and having rivals like him is my thing actually lol. Strict characters like Kusatsu are interesting and him being the Student Council President and as well responsible/reliable/ are things I’ve always wanted to be LMAO. I’m more like Yufuin anyway but I can somehow relate to Kusatsu especially when he felt like he got replaced just because Kinugawa met another kid. Cos well, I think I have felt the same way to my ex-bestfriends lmao. His reactions and how he blushes so easily is so precious oh my lord how can you not love this precious man. Kusatsu holds a special place in my heart and he deserves to smile more ❤

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Yufuin En. Basically they’re a very unlikely couple and sometimes I think about this a lot. You can imagine the casual banters, snappy comebacks and sharing each others opinions on every little thing that Yufuin notices. There are times that they have opposing opinions that would start a banter which you may think they TOTALLY CAN’T BE TOGETHER ALONE. Then again, I bet most of the times they spend together talking random topics around that Yufuin usually initiates, and somehow despite Yufuin’s rather unique line of thinking Kusatsu follows and shares his own thoughts too. Regardless how nonsensical it sounds Kusatsu finds Yufuin’s views interesting that piques his curiousity on a certain topic as well. Much to his surprise; he voices out the sincerest commentary and appreciation towards things if not, he nitpick the strangeness of things so maybe, JUST maybe in some way Kusatsu would realize at the end of the day-- that this slacker has a clever way of thinking after all. They barely know each other despite they’re technically childhood friends so they would learn a thing or two whether learning their personalities and interests by entertaining these random topics together and sharing their perspectives. Since they seems to be both keen observants. (idk something like that)

They’re completely opposite in other aspects but I honestly think it’s very interesting to see them knowing each other. Having Kusatsu as a responsible and strict way of living while Yufuin has an idle lifestyle would put a test on their ‘relationship’ (which in reality might cause a fight lmao). Such as Kusatsu making him do ALL the work on his own and be as HELLA productive (for the sake of not getting scolded he would listen to him anyway lol) while we have Yufuin who would pull Kusatsu back to bed for waking up so early to do his school duties and such or else he’ll sue himself (or anything that keeps him up all night) and tells him that: (”Hey it’s okay to slack off sometimes and not pushing yourself too hard. It’s fine.”) Well, Kusatsu knows his limits but he forgets them when he thinks about his duties all the damn time but having Yufuin reminding him that he’s stressing over things too much is well, surprisingly caring. It’s like he’s implying that he forgot how to breathe. They both have flaws and lacking in something that they both of them need to learn and fill in.

Overall their relationship is like (quotes you from your post here) en picks on kin-chan and makes him angryblush. all the time. like a little boy pulling a girl’s pigtails, or like a grown up en-chan who just thinks kin-chan is adorable when he gets flustered. REAL TALK I mean lol, Yufuin takes all the chances to tease him and see his reaction out of it lmao.

Or maybe I’ve always liked these kind of ships that are very opposites that they almost bite each other’s faces and ships that nobody ships it except for me lmao. Well, we all have unique taste in everything and here’s mine.

^^^^^I may have carried away in this part idk if anything is making sense anymore soz Lib. Enkin keeps me up at night tbh.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Kinugawa Atsushi & Ibushi Arima. They’re more like the Reliable Bestfriends whom I love so much™ to me even though Kusatsu is more fondly of Kinugawa. Their friendship and ARM LINKING ARE GOALS AND TOO PURE IN THIS WORLD LORD HAVE MERCY I THINK THAT’S CUTE??????

Ibushi, oh Ibushi bless my child. He’s the BRO THAT YOU CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON AND NEVER LEAVES YOU ON THE WAR EVEN THOUGH HE’S ALREADY DYING kind of friend. nevermind shipping him with Kusatsu when i can ship him with myself lmao bye

My unpopular opinion about this character

This is more like a random headcanon of Kusatsu was trained to learn shamisen when he was a kid because his grandmother was part of hayashi back then as well in enka performances. At this point he might have aced playing the shamisen quite well.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Oh I don’t know? I mean, he’s been smiling in official arts ever since S2 ended and honestly that’s everything I could ask for omg thanks staff ;;;; PLEASE SMILE MORE MY PRECIOUS SON. AND I WISH THERE’S A SECOND BOUEIBU KATSUGEKI WITH MAEYAMA AS KUSATSU AGAIN afsdls;