#especially on top of everything else
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On CX-2 Being Tech
Don't get me wrong, I am still on the "CX-2 is Tech" delulu train but we only have 4 episodes left and if it is him, how are we supposed to tackle all of that in a short amount of time?
We're talking a revelation that it is Tech, the Batch coming to terms with that, whatever brainwashing he will have had to go through (is that gonna be reversed, is he left like that?), having him come back to the squad, or maybe even accepting that he is just gone now etc. etc.
That's a hell of a lot to fit in and I'm not totally convinced they can do it 😬
#like 'domicile'?#are you kidding me?#that can't be a coincidence#but there's so much to unpack there#and not a lot of time to do it#especially on top of everything else#star wars#the bad batch#the bad batch spoilers#tbb spoilers#tbb tech
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i keep adding things to this one post and then realizing they'd make more sense as a separate post. so here's how the party explained what happened in dagger ending au to bonnie:
Siffrin was very sad and worried about everyone leaving, because he was alone before he met us and he didn't want to be alone again. But he didn't talk about it because we all had plans that seemed very important, and he didn't want to get in the way, and he didn't want to admit that he didn't have anything else to do. It sounds pretty silly when you put it like that, but the rest of us were nervous to admit how much we cared about each other, too! Sometimes it's hard to tell someone how important they are to you, if you don't know whether you're important to them.
During the quest it was okay, because Siffrin knew we would stay together until Vaugarde was saved. But getting to Dormont meant the quest was almost over, and they got so upset at the idea of everyone leaving, that they didn't really care about what they were doing. Why did it matter what happened to them, when they were going to be sad and alone tomorrow either way? So they weren't very careful while they were training, and they got hurt. Luckily Odile saw, and Mirabelle healed them right up.
Now, he's really glad that we all decided to stay together longer! But he might still feel worried for a while, because it's hard to believe that everyone isn't leaving, after he's been dreading it for so long. And sometimes when you're sad for a long time, your brain just tries to keep being sad even when there isn't any reason to be. But if we keep reminding him that we love him just as much as he loves us, it'll start to stick in his brain better! We might also need to remind him to be careful and take care of himself, because that can be hard to remember when you're sad. And while he practices that, we can help take care of him, too!
#bonnie: oh you mean like depression?#isabeau: uh. yeah exactly. we don't know for sure yet but it's very likely that siffrin is depressed#bonnie: [nods very seriously.] i'll wash all the dishes so he doesn't have to. but if he feels like helping then he can help.#<- this bit goes in the tags bc we're getting into my very specific nille headcanons lmao#dagger ending au#did i need to write this whole thing out? no. but i had fun 😌#explaining things to people is my favorite thing in the world. especially children#note there is only ONE direct lie in this - the 'while they were training'#killing yourself sure involves being so upset that you stop being careful with your body!!#unfortunately without Some 'context in which it makes sense that being a little not-careful could get you really hurt'#bonnie definitely woulda asked what happened#and then it's more difficult to avoid the truth without more specific lies#so. we lead with one lie about an inconsequential detail that the full truth doesn't actually contradict#maybe siffrin Was training when he decided to kill himself.. who knows......#very important to be truthful as possible here i think bc a 12 year old could definitely figure out at some point what actually happened#and if that happens you do nottt want to be the person who Straight Up Majorly Lied#they'll be upset enough without also totally losing trust in you#(however 10-12 is young enough that bonnie really does NOT need to know right now. especially not on top of everything else.#they may figure it out eventually but ideally we will try to prevent that happening for as long as possible.)#plus bonnie is gonna. be around siffrin. so all the emotional stuff is gonna be relevant!#better to explain it preemptively and establish that it's something we're allowed to talk about#i know this party is shit at communicating but i do have to believe they could pull this together for bonnie#at least if given an hour to decide what they're gonna say#mirabelle has been to therapy#isabeau has crisis response training#odile is 40 something years old so this can't be the first rly difficult situation she's had to navigate. and she's very practical#and siffrin takes bonnie seriously and has proven he understands when to establish yourself as a trusted adult who#won't bullshit you and when to use that power to get away with lying or avoiding the truth when it's really necessary#or maybe the occasional prank but that's fine i think if done carefully and in moderation#isat
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I need the people who look at posts talking about Wyll's treatment in both the actual game and especially the fandom and respond with "but i don't like him and I think he's boring" to know that shutting the fuck up is 100% the better option 100% of the time. Him being the only origin character to not have at last 10 hours of content and the existence of mods that literally whitewash him and his dad - among everything else wrong with how Wyll is treated - are not suddenly okay because you, personally, as an individual, don't find him interesting, and your personal individual feelings about him are irrelevant to the issues surrounding his treatment in the bg3 community at large, so like. Stop barging in with your unwanted, unhelpful opinion
#not 3h#wyll ravengard#being daring today and using a non FE main tag because holy shit is this one of the most annoying things fucking ever#had to rant about this because it happens ALL THE TIME in the bg3 fandom i swear to god#person (usually a black person or someone otherwise nonwhite): I think Wyll should have been given more content individual to him#some fuckwit: but he's boring!#person: I think Wyll should have been given more autonomy as a character and not have everything about his arc be up to the player#fuckwit: but he's BORING!!#person: I think it's strange how antagonistic we the player HAVE to be towards Wyll many times especially compared to the other companions#fuckwit: BUT HE'S BORING!!!#person: I think it's problematic that Wyll is constantly connected to his abuser in promo material when no one else is connected to theirs#fuckwit: WYLL IS BORING THO!!!!#person: I think it's unfair to people who like Wyll that bugs that have been around for multiple patches are only now getting patched#(while characters like Asta/rion get even more content on top of already having a shit ton)#fuckwit: BOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIING!!!!!#person: I think the fandom treatment of black Wyll fans who want more Wyll content is racist#fuckwit: HE'S SO BORING!!!!!!#person: People making mods that turn Wyll white/have you beat up *only* Wyll/give Wyll's content to white characters is racist#fuckwit: BUT HE'S SOOOOOOOOO BORING!!!!!!!#like holy SHIT shut the fuck up. that is SO not the damn point.#Fandom Be Normal About Characters of Color Challenge (IMPOSSIBLE) (FAILED) (I ENDED UP BEING RACIST???)#go back to eating Asta/rion's toe jam or whatever the hell his fans do jesus fuck
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I love spuffy as much as the next guy but ohhh my gawddd I really kinda wish it had been buffy wil and xand to finish the fight. they started it together, and while they've always had outside help, I just think it would've been so good if each of them had their own big important parts to play since this was the last we get to see of them
#ik there's comics but I have no intentions of reading those so. this is the last I get to see of them all fighting the big fight together!!!#I suppose buffy was the one leading everyone into battle... but that doesn't feel like much#but seriously why wasn't xander given anything special to do </3#he could simply be motivation if nothing else. we know the girls like him he could help give them strength when they feel like it's hopeles#and especially buffy. he is determination!! I have talked about this before!! let that show when it counts!!#willow did her part so good for her. it was beautiful and I love her#the only thing that would've been even better is if releasing all that slayerness had given buffy (& faith) a boost. to tie wil to them mor#...I cannot think off the top of my head what buffy could've done more. she shared her power with others by handing off the scythe.#she gave them strength in leading them I guess. open to ideas here if anyone wants to chime in with something#they're the heart the spirit the power grrrrr they are connected and (should) need one another to continue on#and okay ik buff and xand and willow are all in totally separate places but I want them CONNECTED together are we getting the picture here#I actually kinda like them being separate now that I've thought about it. each part of the whole running a different section so they're all#spread out and able to take care of everything. but I want moreee for them#y'all have better have fuckin meant it when you guys said y'all wanted to hear about my buffy/willow/xander thoughts#bandillow#buffy x willow x xander#buffy summers#willow rosenberg#xander harris#btvs#buffy the vampire slayer
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I've referenced before how I have a big google document to keep track of every media I've ever seen in my entire life (just for reference because I like to track everything possible lol… I am the Data Collector), but recently as I was updating it, I thought of actually evaluating them to find out random percentages (like for example, out of Total Shows Watched, what percentage did I finish vs. stop watching, what percentage did I like or dislike, etc.)...
Evaluating these things is made easier by the fact that I already place everything on each subsection of the list into 6 broad ranking categories, so I don't have to go back and guess to figure out how I feel about them or anything. The categories are: Ranking 5 - overall best* (despite some criticisms of course because I'm too much of an Analyzer to ever find anything Perfect lol) Ranking 4 - more positive than neutral, but not good enough to be 5 Ranking 3 - either the good + bad negate each other, OR it's just not memorable/interesting in any way enough to be ranked higher or lower (this is the Default category ALL things are placed in if no other rank applies) Ranking 2 - maybe a few redeemable elements but largely more negatives than positives Ranking 1 - So bad that it circles around to being fascinating to observe in some way (not necessarily Funny, or Good, but just interesting somehow) Ranking 0 - Bad in a genuinely frustrating or obnoxious manner
*("best" primarily defined here as most interesting, rather than most good in a technical sense, or some other measure. I tend to value more highly whether there's something novel or thoughtful about the worldbuilding, tone, writing, base premise, etc - than about whether it's actually executed perfectly.)
And here's the amount of shows that have so far been placed into each category -
TV shows ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 20 shows ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 28 shows ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 114 shows ~ Rank 2 (mid low) -33 shows ~ Rank 1 (low low but intriguingly so) - 14 shows ~ Rank 0 (iredeemably low) - 2 shows
This would make for a total of 211 TV shows overall. However, there are 57 shows within these list marked as "didn't finish" (typically meaning I quit on the very first or second episode - but log them still to keep a record that I at least had a brief view of them).
So my total of genuinely fully watched shows would be more 154. 211 Total, but a More Accurate Total of 154.
Counting them all and using the Total Number Of The List (211) -- that means roughly 9.5% of all total shows I have ever watched (or at least attempted to watch) have been Mostly Good, 13% have been Moderately Okay, 54% have been either entirely Forgettable or some mix of good + bad that lands them right in the Neutral Middle, 15.6% have been Mostly Bad, 6.6% have been Bad (but in an interesting way), and 0.9% have been Terribly Bad.
Additionally, I didn't even get past the first two episodes of about 27% of the total.
Sooo, discounting ones I didn't finish, my total TV shows ever watched in my life would be about 154 (maybe give or take a few, assuming I might have forgotten some from very long ago).
But instead of entire life, let's just say this is the total for 'About 20 Years' (so, not counting very early childhood when I likely wouldn't remember things I saw/have no detailed recollection of them (like for example, I'm sure at some point when I was like 4yrs old I must have seen an episode of Spongebob or something, but I have zero distinct memories of it, can't quote anything of it, and barely recall the premise - so I don't count it on the list, etc.)).
In that case, 154 divided by 20 would be roughly 7.7 shows a year.
Which is actually surprisingly low considering that I often have stuff on in the background for hours whilst I make sculptures and do costumes and stuff (maybe I should have also marked some distinction between 'things I fully paid attention to' and 'things I kind of half listened to whilst sculpting', but that would further split the categories too much probably lol), but I guess a lot of that is youtube videos or random documentaries, so .. eh.. maybe I get it being lower.
Now, doing the same thing for movies-
Movies ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 4 movies (3.4% of total) ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 12 movies (10.3% of total) ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 91 movies (78.4% of total) ~ Rank 2 (mid low) - 8 movies (6.8% of total) ~ Rank 1 (low but interesting) - 1 movie (0.8% of total) ~ Rank 0 (irredeemably low) - none in this category (0%)
That makes 116 for a Total (Actually Remembered) Movies Watched In Lifetime (Or At Least In 20 Years).
116 divided by 20 is roughly 5 or 6 movies a year (I feel this has probably been skewed though by adding everything since like elementary school onwards, as I remember a lot more movies from child/teen years.. Whereas, the past 3 years I feel like I've barely seen maybe even 5 movies?? lol). I also have "Didn't Finish" marked on 18 of them. Which means I quit halfway through about 15% of the total movies.
So, a for broader summary stuff..
I seem to be less forgiving to movies than tv shows, by far. Which makes sense to me, I guess, because I love elaboration and details, so "short form" things that only last an hour or two are often lost on me a bit. My biggest complaint with movies is indeed usually walking away just wishing there had been more exposition, more scenes where characters are doing nothing, more "mindless bantering" conversations, more Quiet Downtime and Lore Elaboration and so on lol, so... of course most 1-2hr films end up feeling a bit Not Enough To Draw My Interest/Nothingy to me.
If you count 5 and 4 as "like" and rankings 2 to 0 as "dislike", then for TV shows I at least somewhat liked 48 of them, and at least somewhat disliked 47 of them.. So it's almost exactly the same lol. I'm just about equally as likely to find something bad as I am to find something redeeming about it. But overall, the largest chance is that I just won't really care much for it at all and it will be tossed into the 'neutral' pile, forgotten forever. Movies have a bit better of a balance, "liking" 16 of them, and "disliking" only 9 of them. So I'm slightly more likely to enjoy a movie than to find it annoying - though still VASTLY more likely to just not find it anything in particular, possibly not even finishing it.
ANYWAY.. this is vague and literally pointless, but like I said, I just really find information fun. Like my document where I've rated every apple flavor I've ever tried (like 40 of them now?), or reviewed every oreo flavor (32?), or ranking data from my entire 10 years of Trying To Make Friends process (out of 100 people, roughly 8% chance of a moderate compatibility, 3% chance of high), or etc. etc.. I love to have random pointless things to analyze I suppose lol.
I doubt anyone tracks things in their life in this same exact way, but I'd be interested in hearing any at least somewhat similar data !!! (like, how many TV shows you watch a year on average, and what percentage of those you like vs. dislike (if you keep track of that sort of thing), etc.)). I guess it might be easier with movies, since I think some people use those websites where you curate a list of movies you've seen and you can rate them or something, so maybe the numbers are already available on those places. :0
#maybe this is my version of spotify wrapped lol.. Lifetime Media Google Doc Wrapped.. kind of.. except I'm not going over specific titles.#I can't do this with music since I rarely EVER look for new music or add to my Youtube To MP3 folder library as I just don't really#listen to music that often. When I'm working (the majority of when I seek background noise) I need like.. people's talking voices#for some reason. Just instruments and singing are not distracting enough to me to work as background noise because theyre#almost TOO in the background if that makes sense? like if I put music on then I just tune it out and it's virtually no different#than if I were daydreaming stream of consciousness thoughts in an entirely quiet room lol. And I can't really do it with books since#essentially 100% of what I read is non-fiction. usually about some specific subject or academic topic OR stuff like#1800s magazines or cookbooks or historical people's diaries. Which is not really.. the type of thing I would#rank as easily I guess? like 'ooh yeah putting the sociology textbook in my top 5 hee hee right next to the 1920s radio recipes book' lol.#Then for games... I just sadly dont play enough of them. I've been banned from new games as I've told myself I cant play anyting#long form (no rpgs or etc) until I actually finish MY OWN game first - to keep me from wasting time. so on average#I play... 0 new games a year. ToT... I do play the sims sometimes but that's really all (which is not a new game at all since#I've been playing it on and off for years). Thus I guess movies/TV are really the only things that make sense#to collect this sort of information on. I could do youtube videos I guess also but that seems kind of strange like...#giving a rating to every single video I watch in a ranked list lol.. Especially since I would say a good 85% of the time#they are exclusively background noise whilst I'm working on something or cleaning the house or etc. and not things I pay serious attention#to. There are only a few specific topics/types/creators of videos I watch where I'm ACTUALLY sitting in front of a screen paying#direct attention to the content (usually when it's educational or political things). Everything else is too mindless to even rank.#ANYWAY... ever analyzing my little hermit Weird Relationship To Media (in the sense of seemingly not processing or getting the same#things out of it as many other seem to). I think that can contribute sometimes to the whole difficulty socializing and stuff#since our culture is very centered around media consumption generally speaking. People want to talk about The New Movie that came#out or The Big TV Show Of The Year. and for me it's like.. highly likely I just plain have NOT seen it. Or if i have. statistically#I most likely was entirely ambivalent if not slightly negative towards it lol. Which just kind of takes the steam out of a 'fun' 'casual'#conversation and you seem like a bit of a bummer if most of your only feedback is either 'idk what that is' or 'oh yea... i did#see that one.... i didnt like it all that much though... I think it'd be better with elves in it.. and 7 hours longer..'' lol..#Which I am not disliking things in a 'grr i hate it bc its popular'/just to be contrarian way. I actually dislike that mindset/find it#silly (by striving so hard to be counterculture you are thus still defining yourself by the whims of external culture - just in the#opposite direction. but are still just as preoccupied with the mainstream (going against it) as everyone else. etc. lol..)) In my#case I think it IS just having niche hyperspecific tastes.. for example- it peeves me when cell phones are in media bc I dont want to be#reminded at ALL of the real world. so.. cross off anything set in modern times. so on & etc. Judging all things by these weird criteria lol
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Having read through the Ghost Ao3 tag for a while now, I've come to a conclusion:
I don't like post Canon Ghost being baby whatsoever :/
I need to see them genuinely struggle being anything but a fighter with the weight of the entire world on their shoulders, I wanna see them be emotionally and mentally lost and unsure of what to do at all times
I need to see them try to deal with the aftermath and try to salvage what little is left of the Kingdom (preferably post Dream No More for me), because anyone with the right mind can tell this kingdom is beyond repair
I need to see them struggling to have a somewhat decent relationship with Hornet, who herself is already struggling with her own turmoil and emotions, most importantly in my head her Mother's full death, which may lead her to hold some irrational resentment against Ghost even if she knew it was ultimately for the greater good for hue kingdom and probably mother as well
I wanna see them try to fit into a world that never accepted them, a world that begrudgingly lets them exist, a world they never thought they could live in
TL;DR I wanna see Ghost suffer because ✨Life✨ happend
#hollow knight#the knight#hornet#I especially wanna these 2 get into arguments idk why#Like there's too much truama and turmoil within them to immediately try and start a new#Not to say they hate each other#No the family bond is still there#It's just#Very very vragile#And it needs to be sorta fixed#They sorta wanna start a new but they don't know how to#Because ✨Life✨ is a bitch like that#Idk about the hollow knight#Since there's sorta like only 1 logical character you could set for them which is feeling like a failure#Thk is a whole box of worms i don't wanna even open#If you send them back to the abyss#Yay Ghsot feels like a failure :) and they hate themselves#If you don't#Ghost has to deal with ACTIVLEY helping their sibling on top of everything else going on in Hallownest#Either way it's shit for them because it's more stress#BTW if you haven't noticed
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The Long Good Friday (1980)
"Alan found him dying. He'd been nailed to the floor."
"When was this, then?"
"Well, it must've been just after you saw him and just before Alan saw him. Otherwise, you'd have noticed, wouldn't you? I mean, a geezer nailed to the floor. A man of your education would definitely have spotted that, wouldn't he?"
#the long good friday#british cinema#1980#john mackenzie#barrie keeffe#bob hoskins#helen mirren#derek thompson#eddie constantine#stephen davies#bryan marshall#p.h. moriarty#paul freeman#dave king#patti love#pierce brosnan#brian hall#paul barber#francis monkman#I'm late to this party but hell‚ this one deserves its reputation. an incendiary‚ even prophetic film; a perfectly timed capturing of that#moment everything in the uk shifted as Thatcher took power‚ capitalism became truly king‚ and with it came the dawn of the yuppie mindset#the legitimisation of the London underworld‚ gentrification and a new age of international aspirations: the US‚ Europe‚ and the New Britain#desperately shedding its dusty‚ working man's image to appear (like Hoskins here) to be civilised and refined and (crucially) a going#concern in economic turns. but underneath it all there's still the razors and the bigotry and corruption. all time Hoskins performance here#giving it everything and absolutely killing it (the final scenes among the best of his impressive career). but there's everyone else‚ too;#every single role seems tonbe a familiar face‚ right down to mute background roles. Keeffe's script is sharp and funny but it's also#unashamedly complex; the plot is labyrinthine‚ underneath the simple conceit‚ and never feels the need to spoonfeed what's happening and#why. topped off with a great moody synth score that's sparingly but effectively used. happy to say this one lives up to the hype#and Derek Thompson‚ as he so often was‚ is brilliant. between this and his tv work from the era (Harry's Game and The Price especially) he#really had the makings of a true star (but if he was happy in Casualty all those years‚ so be it)
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ok but. imagine
gina accidentally telling ricky she doesn't want a [public] proposal but to ricky (she thinks) it sounds like she doesn't want a proposal at all because she worded it badly. and he doesn't really react in any way but gina comes home and immediately bursts into tears and terri's like "just propose to him instead problem solved". and then the two of them spend the rest of the evening planning the thing out because this is the kind of thing porters find fun i guess and they decide the best time would be just before her graduation party in a couple of months and gina gives terri the very important task of wrangling ricky because there are only two people in this world who can ensure he's somewhere ready and on time without question and one of them is doing the proposing so.
the next day ricky comes to pick gina up for another date (gotta maximize her last spring break of college!) and while waiting for her to get ready he lets terri know he's planning to propose just before gina's graduation party (yeah.) and could she please make sure gina gets her hair and nails done or whatever that morning and get her to the place at the right time so he can pop the question but not say anything to her or their friends because he wants it to be a surprise?
and now terri has a headache.
(and has to buy a hot glue gun because of course they're both planning to go all out with their respective proposals too.)
#basically shes the only person who knows about both plans (that are both at the same day/time/loc)#and has been given Very Important Tasks for each#on top of everything else#including ginas actual party#which is secretly an engagement party too but shes the only person who knows that#(because r/g wouldnt want her to jinx it by planning it before the question's popped) (and terris the only one who knows with 100% certaint#that everythings gonna be ok)#and while she tells the kids later that it was Annoying. secretly this is the kind of organizational nightmare she loves#especially for a kid she loves and another she 'tolerates' (also loves)#anyway if i have time to write a rina week day 7 submission then this is the plan. but if i dont#at least ive put it out into the world because ive been giggling over it in my head for the past hour#high school musical: the musical: the series#ricky x gina#something about terri being super gruff but actually super happy makes ME super happy idc#hsmtmts#my writing#rina
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it's crazy finding out you're autistic as an adult bc then you start to notice the ways it affects you and has affected you throughout life
and then it becomes a hyperfixation bc you're like "omg this makes so much sense now" and you start feeling a bit better about yourself knowing that there's an explanation to everything
#.bdo#autism#''panic attack disorder'' they have all been full-on meltdowns#which is just as much of a reason that I stopped working as my chronic pain#bc the last job i had i quit in the middle of a phone call#bc the lights and sounds on top of the problem solving on top of my ADHD were Too Much#i was also incorrectly diagnosed with both bipolar type 1 and BPD#it was the PTSD mixed with everything else like my post-partum depression and psychosis#found out that the ''bipolar'' was just me being happier when i have my pain meds#and getting everything done in those couple of weeks where i felt better (''mania'')#and of course more depressed when i'm in more pain bc i can't not notice it#and then also my period really fucks me up too and i get extremely angry for 3-7 days straight#but anyway#i noticed how i stim and how the way i think specifically in patterns and numbers#i've always had really bad texture issues w both food and fabric#i have misophonia and can also feel certain noises (ESPECIALLY mouth noises)(ESPECIALLY if it's repetitive)#it makes me feel like i need to make the noise too#and half the people in my family have vocal stims#ik they can't help it but it sends me into panic attacks & meltdowns#i can hear electricity on top of my tinnitus#i get socially overwhelmed easily bc of all the masking#i talk to myself and make my own noises when im alone#i have repetitive thoughts that will cycle for weeks sometimes months at a time#so i think the ocd is comorbid#bc ever since i was like 5 i've had this pattern that i HAVE to tap on things every now and then or it drives me insane#i get intense hyperfixations for months or years#there's just a lot i notice about myself now
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i have to go to bed very soon so instead i'm lying here being overcome by clintasha emotions
#i've spent today rereading bucky barnes gets his groove back and the clintasha chapter never fucking fails to send me into a tailspin#the shared history. their shared history. god#i love CNL and CNL is one of my top ships of all time#but man if clintasha by itself without anyone else and especially without any kids doesn't mean something so much to me#i will never be a normal person and neither will you and by fucking god we will warp each other beyond recognition to be abnormal together#we'll spend so long speaking in code that it becomes the only way we speak#i don't know what other people mean by trust but for me it's what you do#sb and l rambles#sb and l reads fic#mcu#mcu ideas#clintasha#there's a fic out there about nat time-travelling back after endgame and fixing everything#she saves all the other girls in the red room. she gets bucky out. she stops loki and thanos and saves the world#and it is good. and everyone is happy. and she gets a romance with maria hill#what does she give up for all of this good? there is so much good. and all she loses in this new timeline is her relationship w clint#i don't even think the author ships clintasha. but man if that doesn't sum them up#natasha can fix everything and can save herself and have sisters and be the hero she's never let herself dream about being#and all it costs is the absolute bone-deep fucked up secret language that is her relationship with clint barton#all it costs is her ability to be that close to another person. to only have one couch she allows herself to pass out on#''telling clint doesn't count. that's like talking to my right elbow'' indeed
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i could write an essay on how the character’s clothes in one piece show their emotional journey. i think about it so much.
#ESPECIALLY NAMI!!!#like. just look at her romance dawn outfit vs literally everything else she wears#yes she’s covering the tattoo but like. she’s unbothered in only a bra in little garden. she wears just a bikini top in skypiea.#she’s finally free and her clothes symbolize that!!! she’s able to wear what she wants instead of something to either hide or showcase the#tattoo. and once she has the coverup she’s almost always showing it.#i’m tired idk if this is cohesive but. i think about her so much.#where’s the post about asl wearing each other’s colors.#and how it shows who they’re thinking about. sabo’s only blue bc of amnesia. luffy’s always wearing all three but it’s really emphasized#post timeskip. ace has little if any blue because that’s how he dealt with the grief of sabo’s ‘death’#and robin wears mostly dull colors pre timeskip and the first time we see her again her clothes are bright#she wears yellow in skypiea (fun with her new captain!) but it’s a dull yellow. enies lobby is all black. she gets some color back in#thriller bark. brook also comes back after the timeskip with brighter colors bc he’s not lonely anymore.#i’m stopping here but i could keep going.#one piece
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ahhhhhhhh guess who made the mistake of getting a haircut
#i was planning on growing it out for real i swear#but then the back of my hair got to that length (like it always does) where it starts touching the back of my neck wrong and i cant stand it#so i figured I'd juuuuuust get a trim maybe only the back so it wouldn't keep bugging me#and it started off pretty good too she was doing well with everything and i liked the way it looked#then she asked me a question with two options. and i answered the question. and she repeated my answer. good enough right?#well i think she maaaay have forgotten my answer in the span of like 2 seconds bc she started cutting SUPER short suddenly#and now my perm is completely gone lol#i think she's used to going a bit shorter so it looks good in like a week when it's grown out a bit#and you don't have to go back for a haircut every 2 weeks#but like. i would rather not hate my reflection (more than usual) for a week or two while it grows out yknow#eurghhhh it's not that bad tbh ive had haircuts where i wanted to kill myself and this is just 'hmm maybe i should wear a hat for a week'#but still. very annoying. and especially so bc i was actually feeling optimistic with where we were going at the start#anyway there's this weird phenomenon that keeps happening where I accidentally get my hair cut too short#then i decide this is going to be the time i finally grow my hair out for real#and after a while the back reaches that length where it starts bothering me again#and ill get a haircut juuust for a trim#then i somehow end up with a bowlcut#it's an emo bowlcut to be clear. so im not super hung up about it bc i still love that haircut for reasons i cannot comprehend#but everybody else seems to go 'ew a bowlcut why' except for the alt queers who go 'omg gender'#which i consider to be one of the biggest compliments i could ever get. and have gotten. seriously that moment will never leave my mind#like having someone that you consider Gender to look at you and say *you're* very gender? my crops have been watered my cattle have been fed#etc etc. anyway this currently has the shape of a bowl cut but it's too short esp on top#so im back in my 'okay im gonna grow it our FOR REAL this time' phase again. as it goes. like fucking sisyphus.#anyway. im gonna be tearing it up in the pit at origami angel tomorrow so if anybody's also going feel free to join me there#just gotta let off some steam. goddammit i knew i should have gone the queer route and just done it myself. in my defense i still had a perm#and i didn't trust myself to cut curly hair. turns out i shouldn't have trusted the barber either bc she just held it straight out#and chopped right across. and soon the curls were gone and everything was straight. ...that sounds like a metaphor for conversion therapy#'yeah just head into that place by the time you leave you'll be straight'#anyway. sorry for the waterfall of tags if ur still here kudos to you and may you have a wonderful day#mine
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I think if we stop putting certain companies on pedestals for being "better" or "different" from the rest, we'll stop being surprised when they do things just like everyone else
#Sunny Life#like ofc Larian did crunch on BG3#have you seen the state of act 3? the endings? and that it released a month earlier than planned to beat Starfield?#it doesn't matter what they say they're doing bc ppl lie to make themselves or their thing look good all the time!#if they would lie and say ''actually the endings are short and bad bc we thought people would like that'' what else would they lie about#especially when it's such a clear cover-up for being scrapped for time#and that's just on top of the pretty open secret that EVERYONE does crunch on EVERYTHING bc ''that's just how it is''#if a studio says they didn't crunch they're probably lying#it's been like this for as long as video games have existed and I'm not sure it will ever change which is a real bummer#BG3 Critical#Larian Critical
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was looking through old posts and i'm surprised to see that i seemingly didn't have any commentary on anything in 3 in chapter 7, 8 or 9, the posts related to 3's story go from "my first reaction when i saw yopple-bot was 'i love you. but also you are definitely the boss for this chapter-'" to "i have been in hell all day. hell being bada-bing tower." funny to me cuz those chapters are like, the best ones sdfkljsdfjfsdkjlfsdjkl-
#puppy rambles#yo-kai watch#yw3#i love dukesville. yo-kai watch wild west. though also everyone in bbq talks like they're in the wild west-#i don't blame myself for not having any commentary on hazeltine mansion tbh. it sucks ass. i mean it's kind of fun but like#god is it annoying. i think using the mechanic of switching between nate and hailey for puzzles is a cool idea but. bad execution#very bad execution. it is so annoying#especially the section where you're in the basement and have to use the drill a bunch#... why are there prison cells in the basement anyways??????? i just realized how fucking weird that is-#i'm mostly just annoyed by the dining room puzzle tbh. i KNOW the fucking answers but verygoodsir is an ASSHOLE for some reason#and won't let me choose the FUCKING CORRECT DOORS#3's so fucking amazing tbh. i really wanna replay it soon. don't wanna have to delete a save file though#wish 3 had three save files like 1 and 2. i get why though i mean it's the biggest 3ds game klsfdjfskjfsdjksdf-#i wanna like. actually use my originyan for once. i might just end up using nyases ii instead tho fsdkljjdsfjskd-#i love every chapter in 3 after nate and hailey meet tbh. the bestie moments are so good#though also i don't think it was an amazing idea tbh. it means there's six main characters after that point#sometimes one character will go several cutscenes without talking at all. it's usually buck#he doesn't have any dialogue during any of the key quests in new yo-kai city. which is pretty amusing admittedly#i think the writers just forgot about him or something fslkdjdfslkjfsdljkdf-#i think my favorite thing related to that is like. during the stuff in bada-bing tower komasan and komajiro are there too#but they don't have any dialogue. which makes it seem kind of pointless#i get why they're there plot-wise but like. at that point you should either have them leave before you go to bada-bing tower#(esp since they don't end up in the ufo with everyone else. idr if there's a reason for that there probably isn't-)#(i think i slightly blocked out everything in bada-bing tower cuz it is so grueling)#or just. give them dialogue???#i love 3 and all but it definitely has some problems-#which is why i'm so excited to rewrite it <3 for both of those reasons. i can fix things. and also it's the best game#just. full-stop. not just the best yo-kai watch. i just think it's the best game ever#that title changes based on my current biggest hyperfixation though sfldfsjdkslfdjkfdj-#i think i'd say my overall top 5 is like. yo-kai watch 3. deltarune. ummmm. fantasy life is up there
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hey can i kill people real quick
#i think i am losing what they call ''the idgaf war''#can i reclaim telling people to stand on top of a tall building in the middle of a thunderstorm. hypothetically#hypothetically! if i ever met someone who would like something like that would it be ok to use them as a sacrifice.#i will not give any more specifics. all i will say is that any sicko who takes pleasure in seeing that will not be spared#i do not care if no one else would think its that bad. or that my own memories have no bearing on canon or fan content.#i am right about everything that happens in my source actually so everyone better shut up and listen to me before they even touch it.#and ESPECIALLY before they touch those i am fond of in any way.#unless of course they WANT a toaster in their bath.#can i bite someone and perhaps tear their throat out with my teeth. thank you
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Mmmhh...
#(Basically rant on my last two posts)#I know I've said it before and sorry for coming off as annoying–#but I really wish we still had a central bsd blog on Tumblr like fy-bungoustraydogs or bsd-central or things of the kind.#I think now everyone rushes to post news first. And although there's merit to it in knowing news as soon as they happen‚#in the long run the death of this kind of central official content ***fan*** blogs is such a huge loss of fandom spaces‚#especially for the archiving purposes they solved. Especially today that T/witter and G/oogle have basically become unusable.#Literally. Literally. I've been doing official content archiving since I was 11#(because that's the very specific kind of mental illness I have)#and let me tell you that the quality of web search and especially reverse image search only got worse–#in a way that is very evident and noticeable. Which is crazy tbh and not how things should work.#If anyone would like to start a bsd-central kind of blog I'll be the first one to follow.#Actually if anyone actually wants to establish it feel free to contact me and I'll be more than happy to share the resources I have!!!!#It just needs to be something multi-modded for a series of reasons I won't get into right now#I just can't personally do it (not as main admin at least) because that would be modding my FIFTH active bsd blog–#and that's a little too much even for me.#On top of some ethical concerns I have regarding whether it'd be fair for me to mod a fandom central bsd blog–#when I feel like I can't genuinely share the same amount of love for the franchise other fans share#On top of. You know. Getting a degree eventually hopefully.#Then years after the blog has been solidly enstablished and aquired enough credibility it could even open a free donations found to invest–#in buying and scanning and releasing bsd content that hasn't been shared yet like the guidebooks or illustration books or everything else–#for everyone to see...#The dream. (Is realistically never going to happen) (Won't stop me from daydreaming about it every day)#((Still salty I couldn't afford the guidebooks only due to the shipment prices. I *would* have scanned and uploaded them.))#That was a long and idealistic rant. Kyotag out#Edit: *Modding my SIXTH bsd blog#Apparently I mod so many blogs I lost count of them
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