#especially not some one who is meant to be all loving

[fromchaostocosmos]

My mother had an ectopic pregnancy which meant that I at some point in my life learnt what that was.

Now even though this happened long before I was ever born it was still something I learnt about and was educated on as a child.

So when my school did it is really basic explanation of periods in either 6th or 7th grade I of course brought it up.

To which I was told that was not a thing.

The person who doing this presentation/explanation was a doctor.

I was very confused why I was told this and went home for a long time thought maybe I was wrong.

I don't know why I was told I was wrong. Maybe because she, the doctor, didn't want to scare or confuse us. Maybe because she didn't want to get into reproduction. I don't know.

I do know that it was wrong to tell me that I was incorrect that there was such a thing.

Because there was.

There is lack medical literacy in general world wide, but especially so in the USA. We do no one any favors by not educating ourselves and the future generations in medical literacy and also science literacy.

Sex ed falls under that and understanding miscarriages does too.

I have met people who thought I was lying when I said that miscarriages in the first few weeks of pregnancy are very common and often can occur before the person even knows they are even pregnant themselves.

I consider myself to be very lucky that both my parents at one point were in the medical field, now just one parent, because that means I grew up surrounded by medical literacy and people to go to when I had questions, and still do.

We owe it to each other and to those who come after us to ensure that we all properly educated and have full understanding on these things. So that people know what is happening to them and the ones they care about.

But also because the more understanding you have, the more educated you are, the more medically literate and scientifically literate you are the less likely you may fall for a scam or a mlm or some faux medical/science product because you will understand why it is bogus and how it is trying to take advantage of you.

And it also means that you will hopefully be better able to advocate for yourself and loved at the doctor, help you feel more confident in asking questions, etc. Because sometimes it can feel scary or hard to ask questions, self-advocate, say no to certain treatment plans, etc. I too go through that.

I firmly believe being more educated, understanding more, and being more medical and scientifically literate will only help and improve all our lives.

We should teach children about miscarriage during sex ed. Here’s why

I feel this in my bones

Miscarriage and still births are still so taboo, which contributes to/exacerbates the feelings of isolation and despair which often follow. And it's not at all helped by the misinformation that's out there.

Some of the most unhelpful types of advice I frequently see involve versions of 'avoid stress', which, if you think about it for more than a minute is not only something of an empty platitude, but also makes no sense given the number of full-term babies born into extremely stressful conditions throughout human history

Properly understanding and talking about the potential vagaries of pregnancy might also go some way to challenging anti-abortion rhetoric, which tends to fetishise pregnancy (always at the expense of the pregnant person. And reality). It was quite apparent that some of them don't understand how pregnancy works when those US politicians started waffling about 're-implating foetuses' during in ectopic pregnancies... I dare say people like that have never heard of a molar pregnancy, for example.

Basically, we need to demystify pregnancy for everyone's sakes

[seaborgium-dazies]

call me baby ♡ mdni

how mha boys praise you praise kink, established relationship, f!reader, dirty talk (puppy, princess, good girl), p in v, oral f!receiving 🌊: deku, bakugo, shoto, kirishima

deku:

I think it goes without saying that deku loves calling you puppy. He sprinkles a mix of darling, love and dear into his daily use of pet names as well. 'Puppy' is something very private to him; something meant just for him and you; something that lays both of you completely bare. And we all know how rambly deku gets when he's nervous or excited, you can bet your ass it's even more amplified when he's horny.

When deku came home after evening patrol completely spent you could practically feel the exhaustion dripping off of him and pooling on the floor around him. You hated seeing him like this and you knew you had to help him somehow. It didn't take long until you were on top of him bouncing and grinding to your hearts content. You made quick work of deku and soon enough he was trying his hardest to hold onto what was left of his sanity. "Puppy, you feel s'good" he slurs as your hips rock against his. He could barely keep his green eyes open and yet he couldn't stop praising you. "You're so so good to me puppy, taking me so well, ahh~". Even when his mind was wiped blank the love he held for you was so prominent that his tongue was doing somersaults, carefully stringing words of praise together "You're doing so good for me puppy. You feel haaah~ amazing. Keep going puppy, puppy-". His rambling came to a halt only as his muscles spasmed and his head fell back in a silent cry. But he was quick to pick up again after he came back to his senses, telling you how good you feel and how much he loves you <3

bakugo:

Bakugo may seem like a person who doesn't praise at all but in reality he's a sucker for it. In the beginning it would really require some emotional work from him though because admitting how much he cares for you and how important you are to him is incredibly hard for him. It's something he struggles with but after he gets used to being vulnerable with you he can't stop praising you. Especially when you're having sensual sex the words effortlessly fall from his lips.

You were going at it for what felt like hours and yet it was only your second round. Bakugos cock was pistoning in and out of you with speed that left you unable to speak. Your whines and moans fell like oil into the fire that is Katsuki Bakugos ego. "Yeah? You like that?" Katsuki asks breathlessly. Your reply made entirely of moans only earns a cocky chuckle. "You're taking me so well baby, just like that, yeah". He hungrily stares at the space where you two are connected, eager to get more moans out of you he starts circling your clit. "Just like that baby, just let loose for me princess". You couldn't help but throw your head back as he settled on the perfect pace. You couldn't help but wonder if someone had given him an instruction manual on how to make you cum with the way that he's working your buttons. "Eyes on me pretty princess" he says as he gently guides your face back "That's a good girl". And with one more flick of your clit your orgasm washes over you, bakugos voice still echoing through your head.

shoto:

At first shoto was very new to dirty talk but after you tried it out on him and he enjoyed it a lot he decided he wanted to be able to make you feel that way too. His gentle and kind nature translates to this aspect as well and and his dirty talk is very literal.

It took shoto mere seconds to figure out that something was bothering you. Although you tried to hide it as to not alarm or bother him, you weren't too surprised that he had you pegged so quickly. Shoto coaxed your troubles out of you, and as he heard that you couldn't help but feel undesirable and unattractive his brows furrowed. Luckily he knew exactly how to convince you of the opposite. His tongue was lapping at your folds and obscene slurping sounds filled the air. "Your pretty pussy tastes so good, mmmm". The vibration of shotos groan made you moan. He pulled away with a dopey smile and spoke with a voice so sweet it was practically dripping honey. "Look at you all splayed out for me, I've never seen anything more beautiful, you take my breath away baby". And just like that, as if he didn't just bring tears to your eyes with his words he ducked down and sucked on your clit like there was no tomorrow.

kirishima:

Kirishima is already kissing the ground you walk on in everyday life so it's no surprise that he's showering you with praise in the bedroom as well. Really it'd be a surprise if someone were to date him and NOT develop a praise kink. He maneuvers his way around words like a champion, alternating between sickly sweet and downright nasty.

Kirishima considered it a miracle that the two of you had a day off work that actually lined up. He didn't remember the last time that had happened. He was up and dripping with sweat from his morning run as you were still sound asleep. A quick shower later he stepped out of the fogged up room to hear you humming in the kitchen. He saw you making yourself a cup of coffee, leaning against the kitchen counter in nothing but panties and an oversized shirt. He took a good thirty seconds to just watch your ass gently bounce as you were bobbing your head to the song from the radio, almost salivating at the way your flesh spilled out of your panties. You heard a soft "Baby you're killing me" from the hallway. You just had to chuckle when you saw kirishima, palming his boner. The effect you had on him was truly undeniable. You curled your finger, beckoning him to come and kirishima was on you in an instant. His tongue was working miracles on your neck and every time he stopped to breathe, he leaned in close and whispered something sinfully sweet into your ear. As if your mind wasn't hazy enough as you heard him "Such a good girl for me, so perfect". Your knees were about to give out as kirishima scooped you up in his arms and carried you to your bed. You couldn't deny that he was your demise as well as your salvation.

all characters aged up

©️ seaborgium-dazies 2025

[car-o-line]

I absolutely love your work!! Keep it up!! :D

May I request Doey(trios!!) with a reader that’s seriously injured and is a teenager doing Poppy’s work?

Have a nice day/afternoon/night!! <33

Sincerely, a person named Aiden!

AAHH IM ADDING THAT PICTURE TO MY CAMARA ROLL HE’S A CUTIE!!! everyone say thank you to Aiden for gracing us with this request and if you don’t Kevin WILL come for you(NOT CLICKBAIT 3:00AM CHALLENGE)

Doey’s spirits dealing with a teenager that’s injured(as player)

Warning: Blood, injury😱😱😱

editing me anyway poppy and Kev are the same color but I’m pretty sure you can tell who’s who

Matthew Hallard:

Okay so first of all-

He was reluctant to let you continue doing tasks for Poppy because you’re still erm A TEEN. And the last thing he wants is another child being brought up into this mess, especially when you’re probably so tired and worn out.

But with some whining to him on your end and Poppy’s nagging he finally gave in. He did say that if you couldn’t come back that this was Poppy’s fault(you can do no wrong in his eyes <3)

Before you left Safe Haven, Matthew had to push Jack or Kevin out of Doeys control just so he could make sure you have everything you need.

“Do you have a snack?”

“Mhm..”

“Water for the snack?”

“Yea.”

“Bandages in case you get hurts? A plushy so you won’t be alone?”

“I’m not five Doey-”

Not even 10 minutes later after you left Safe Haven, Kissy swore to everything pink she heard a scream, that sounded just like you. She didn’t say it verbally but Poppy understood what she meant and quickly told Doey to go find you.

Long story short, it was Yarnaby. You were trying to collect the Omi-hand and you ran into the fuzzy lion.

The creature tried to bite your arm off but thankfully your Grab-pack pulled you up towards a vent. Sadly, he did manage to bite your arm, just not completely off.

Matthew immediately panicked and went searching for you right away, he was upset at Poppy for letting you go but he could speak with her another time, right now his focus was on you not dying.

Once he got to you, your whole arm was covered blood. He was even more panicked at the sight and quickly picked you up with his gentle arms and hurriedly brought you back to Safe Haven.

On the way back if your arm like uhm, wasn’t bleeding everywhere you would’ve hear him mumbling, “Back to Safe Haven, back to Safe Haven.”

Once you both were back he didn’t waste any time getting you to and bed and calling the medic, all the other toys were horrified. The blood from your arm splashing onto the ground from how quickly Doey was going.

When you started crying from the pain he tried his best to relax himself so he can relax you. Like distracting you from the Medic who was putting pressure on your wound, maybe reading a book to you or speaking about the random thoughts he has.

After you recovered he knows one thing for sure, you are not to leave Safe Haven for a while until your arm has fully healed and even then when you do leave he or Kissy Missy will accompany you during that time.

Kevin Barnes:

Okay so he actually didn’t care that much when he found out “Poppy’s Angel” was just a young teen. He believed that you were just another troubled kid like the rest of them except you just weren’t an experiment.

But he did slightly care, you’re still a kid at the end of the day. Not a toy, experiment, just a human.

Anyway, Poppy told you to collect food for yourself and the other toys, unlike Matt, Kevin actually encouraged it as well. Everyone was starving and who could be the best candidate for collecting food other than someone who killed Mommy Longlegs and Catnap?

Poppy wished you well as you left Safe Haven.

“Hey Kev..”

“What?”

“Don’t you think it’s worrying Y/n isn’t back yet, it’s been a long time.”

“Hm..Jacks right, we should go check on them.”

And so that’s what Kevin did, he didn’t tell anyone, just leaving(Much to Matthew’s dismay)

When he was going around the outsides of Safe Haven he spotted a figure in the distance, crawling on the ground from what he could tell. He thought it was a humanoid toy until he heard your voice, calling his name.

That’s when Kevin started to act and ran towards you, stopping near you and staring at you bloodied body.

What happened was, the doctor kinda cooked ur ass up<3

You were going to get food but the mf had like a villain entrance and went after you. You were so close to killing him, but you got distracted by a smiling critter and didn’t see one of the doctor’s clones after you. It was then too late when the doctor stabbed your leg with his sharp fingers. Running off by adrenaline you ran as fast as you could but eventually passed out and when you woke up, no one was there to help you causing you to crawl your way back to Safe Haven.

Kevin was embarrassingly(in his words) freaking out and surprised by how you lasted this long.

“HOW DID Y/N NOT EVEN DIE”

“THAT DOESN’T MATTER RIGHT NOW, THE FACT WAS THAT YOU WANTED TO BE IN CHARGE SO BRING THEM TO SAFE HAVEN KEVIN”

So he did, but unlike Matt(I’m so tired of saying Matthew istg), he was a bittttttt rough. So Matt had to yell at him to be more gentle.

Once he got back he dropped you off on a bed and started yelling at the Medic to do their job.

Once both you and him calmed down he told you that you’re never leaving Safe Haven ever again.

He also told you that you had to publicly apologize to all the other toys for worrying them so much(you didn’t because Jack told him to stop yelling at you and then he forgot about it)

After that he’d be a little nicer, he knows what you went was painful physically and emotionally so there’s no real reason to be that mad at you for messing it up.

“I told you not to go.”

“You encouraged me actually!”

“You encouraged me actually🤓☝️”

Jack Ayers:

Him being the stupid little ############# that he is he was actually happy that you were young!

In his mind that meant you would play with him and the other toys more than if you were an adult.

But when Matt told him everything you’ve been through he felt sad, buttttttttt he felt happy again when he realized that you’re in Safe Haven now and nothing could hurt you anymore.

But then,

“Hey Y/n..”

“Poppy go away I’m making something.”

“You know this is serious right?”

“…”

“…What are you making?”

“Hopscotch mat!”

“Oh! That should be fun..hm. Anyway, like I was about to say you need to get use some extra batteries.”

That made you frown instantly, but! Since you’re such a good person you went anyway.

Jack, who was in charge at the time, asked you where you were going when you were just about to leave. You told him the truth and he wished you luck.

It had been about 7 hours since you’ve left and Jack was worried sick, he kept insisting that he should go look for you but Poppy said that you were probably just taking your time.

That was until a loud crash was heard outside of Safe Haven, a loud, loud, one.

Jack didn’t even wait a second before making Doey sprint out that door, even if Kevin was yelling and him not to.

Finally after about 25 minutes he found your body next to a battery, unconscious and under a large machine, what happened was that when you used your grab pack to collect the battery from the machine. You pulled too hard and the whole machine collapsed onto you.

Jack was rightly horrified and started sobbing on the spot, so much that Matthew had to take over and lifted the heavy machinery off you just to pick up your body.

Running as quickly as he could he finally made it to Safe Haven and called the Medic over frantically.

Jack soon convinced Matthew to let him in charge so he could watch over you, he didn’t sleep at all that night, just making sure he was awake so you wouldn’t be alone in the tent when you woke up.

When you did wake up Jack was thrilled and almost started crying again, he gently held your hand in his and promised you that he wouldn’t let you get hurt anymore.

Not after that.

Idk why this took me so long, it was really fun to do this tho!🤪

[snapewife-divorce-lawyer]

some inclusions from the notes plus my thoughts:

B2emo: i have zero things in common with you, person who suggested this. like,, you do realize i said hottest droid? youre entitled to your taste.

FX6or7: i didnt know which one you meant so i included both. this guy kick ass youre so right. unfortunately theres only ten slots

vulture droid: i get it. i understand. its just not for me. i totally get it i really do. its just. no. sorry

magna guards: that just a guy. i extremely like their mannerisms. especially in the old cartoon clone wars. but to me they are still just like a guy that acts weird. i like them a lot. but not top ten a lot.

mouse droid: i want to care for it. i want to keep it in a little box with toys inside.

HK-47: once again this is just a guy. sorry. i havent played this game tho maybe there is a character that i would fall i love with its totally possible. but to me rn this is just a metal guy

K2SO: another just a guy robot. i love this character! not particularly attracted to it tho. it is tall ill give it that. not enough to make the top ten.

IG series: i have nothing to say about this guy. its just not in the top ten. thats all



counting down the top 10 sexiest droids in star wars.

i’m 100% serious btw. this is based solely on my memory so if i forgot your fav, feel free to comment

#10

this guys from a new hope! now i must somewhat shamefully admit that this is based entirely on looks. but i mean come on look at it. instantly clocked it as a freek

#9

these annoying fuckers from clone wars. this goofy ass attempt to make battledroids more intimidating did at least produce a droid i wouldn’t mind coming home to every night. these guys are huge brats too. excited to see how that plays out in more intimate settings

#8

it’s just something about it. i can’t put my finger on. its so resolute and sinister, and yet it is not unlike a a wild rabbit. it’s delicate hands and big eyes make me want to care for it. i want this thing to call me mommy.

#7

the ferryman from the mandalorian. he is so dutiful. a powerful aura. he looks like he could hold me tight in those big strong arms

#6

i could fix him

#5

look we all knew this was coming. he’s powerful sexual presence it’s simply undeniable. the baddest bitch in star wars just barely beating lando. i’ve chosen the sexiest picture of him that i could find. enjoy.

#4

battle droids but specifically the ones with paint on them. i think these would have the closest analogue to human intimacy of any on this list. and even then, kissing them is an exciting geometric chalenge

#3

sexiest picture in this post by far. oh my god these look inside books. should i be tagging this as nsfw? this diabolical baddie even deploys one of my favorite droids ever. making her the only droid milf that i can think of.

#2

gonk droids. but specifically gonky from the bad batch. i think this one is probably the most indescribable. i can say little details like how he kinda reminds me of 80s computers and i love 80s computers, or how the simplest shape can sometimes be the best, or how cute it is when he kicks his feet in the air while he is being used for weightlifting, but none of it really adds up to how i feel

and the number one sexiest droid in star wars (and it’s not even close) is:

chopper. obviously.

dilf dot com. this guy has such an attractive personality. beyond words how wonderful his design is. one of my favorite star wars characters and one of the best droid designs

[natsredbra]

mom lottie and reader thoughts? Perhaps? Maybe mixed with domestic lottie?

(yes i had to add all these photos) (also i absentmindedly made it fem!r)

lottie is the softest and most caring person ever, with you and your daughter (i may not be 100% sure about nat but with lottie, she’s a girl mom.) she’s so full of love and it warms your heart to see them together, especially cause she’s spoiling the shit out of her (she’s not a brat though, lottie would never have it) she just wants to give her kid all the love support and warmth she never had

“Babygirl! I got you a new Barbie!” Lottie says, entering the house after work

“Lot she already has 23!”

“But this one came with a puppy whose poop you can clean!”

your daughter’s name would be something ethereal and really meaningful seeing how spiritual lottie is she also gets up early on a sunday and makes you breakfast in bed with your toddler <33 (because she’s a business woman & works all week and all that) she totally lets you know that she can take care of you (finantially) but if you wanted to have any kind of job, understandibly to keep you occupied she’s more then supportive has no problem paying for a nanny if it has a positive toll on your mental health and whatnot

she’s mommy and you’re mama

lottie who as NO issue showing you affection in front of your kid - not obnoxious pda but a caress and kiss here and there

“Ohh honey look at how pretty your mama is!” Lottie called out to your daughter who sat in her lap as they watched Toy Story. You were in the kitchen making dinner

You turned around, a big smile on your face as your kid chanted something along the lines of “Prettyyyy mama!”

It was cheesy as hell, but you wouldn’t have it any other way, especially seeing Lottie marvel in your redamancy

lottie is a serious girl. she puts your kid into fashion immediately. okay that sounded a little scary but what i meant is she’s teaching her all of it as soon as she can speak still, obviously dresses her daughter into child - appropriate clothes, but definitely gets those toddler heels for her

she’s usually busy, but loves days when the three of you don’t have anything but pizza movies and pajamas on your agenda, she wouldn’t relax any other way

is the absolute sweetest if the little one gets a nightmare and comes to your bed. she doesn’t even think twice about letting her in and neither do you in the morning you wake up to their hushed whispers, and they playfully make fun of you about not wanting to get up yet

still, obviously you guys need a break sometimes, and send the kid to her grandparents to get some alone time some of the days you don’t even have sex, just relish in each other not that your child is a burden god forbid, she can simply sometimes be a small distraction between the two of you and to lottie, communication and building a healthy relationship is everything

“I’m so glad we get to do this. And that I get to be here with you.” Lottie mumbled against your chest as your fingers raked through her hair

“Me too Lot. You’re an amazing wife. And mom too.” Maybe she didn’t say so, but she loved hearing it.

Her loved one’s validation and reciprocation is very much important to her.

[3ight-3y3s]

M A S K x O F F

╔═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╗

✦ SevikaxFemReader! ✦

╚═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╝

Summary: Sevika saves a firelight who constantly flirts with her during battles. xx

//fluff//angst?//implied smut//

✦ · · · ·────────────────── · · · · ✦

You never shied away from your feelings for Sevika despite fighting on opposite sides. In fact whenever the Firelights would cross over into Silco's Territory you usually went out of your way to find her just to say hi. Or more often, something inappropriate that you came up with on the way.

Sevika would always act annoyed when ever you blatantly objectified her but the truth was she loved it. She played it off well enough that you'd never guess just how much of a soft spot you carved for yourself.

Although you were a skilled fighter, quick and flexible, Sevika never really tried to do you serious harm. Especially since whenever she let you get in really close to her, you'd lift your mask just enough to kiss her cheek. Another thing she secretly loved despite acting otherwise.

She had always hated the Firelight masks but she despised yours even more. She was desperate to know you. She found herself often wondering about the girl underneath it. Until one day your mask goes flying and lands right by her feet. She recognized who it belonged to immediately. Her eyes shot towards the direction it came from.

You were sprawled out on your back gasping for the air that had just been knocked out of you. Jinx stepped over your body as you fought just to inhale. She pointed her gun down at your face. A face that Sevika recognized. You were a regular at the last drop. A balsey place for a firelight to frequent, Sevika thought to herself.

For a moment as you stared down the barrel of Jinx's weapon, you really thought this was it for you. The final moments of your final fight for Zuan. What you didn't expect was for Sevika to grab hold of Jinx's weapon to point it away from you just as Jinx was pulling the trigger.

Finally your body let your lungs fill with the air you so desperately needed. Taking back control of your body you rolled over to find your mask. You were mortified to think that Sevika might have already seen you without it. It was easy to flirt with her when you were just some mysterious figure but you as you are were? You found was far too terrifying no matter how much you tried to glam up before heading to the Last Drop. Time and time again you just couldn't bring yourself to approach her.

Once you spotted your mask glanced back to confirm Sevika and Jinx were still distracted before slipping away to retrieve it. You tried to re-secure it in place but the clasp was broken. You cursed as you held it in place looking around for your teammates but they were on top of it.

Ekko swooped down grabbing you by your waist before heading back to the airship. You couldn't help but replay the events over and over in your head. She saved you. She inexcusably saved you. You were trying your hardest not to be delusional but there was a part of you that hoped that maybe it meant she was actually at least a bit fond of you. What else could possess her to save you?

You got ready to go to the last drop a couple of times but couldn't bring yourself to go in the days following. Even if Sevika didn't see you, which seemed pretty unlikely, you're anonymity was compromised. If anyone recognized you in Silco's territory it would spell out nothing but trouble.

✦ · · · ·────────────────── · · · · ✦

You slipped between Sevika's legs to avoid her making contact with you & took the opportunity to graze her inner thighs with your hands. It was a move that you had used several times without fail. However, you were hesitant this time. It was those milliseconds of indecision that made all the difference. Sevika caught you by your hair and pulled you back to your feet in front of her. She pinned you against the wall so fast all you could do was look up at her like a dear in headlights.

She slowly lifted her mech arm towards your neck which both frightened and excited you. She lightly ran the cold metal up to your chin before grabbing hold of your entire face prying the mask off. She grinned as her face got even closer to yours. Your eyes danced all over her face but mostly her lips despite yourself in such a vulnerable position.

"I missed you at the last drop." She said quietly as if it were just a secret between the two of you. Your eyes widened. You never thought Sevika noticed you. Let alone noticed your absence. The two of you never exchanged words. You were too worried she'd recognize your voice and or laugh in your face for trying to approach her. "Don't get all shy and quiet on me now." She pressed for a response.

But your mouth refused to form any words. "Didn't Silco ever tell you not to play with your food?" Jinx quipped from above the two of you. You looked up and sure enough there she was. The moment you locked eyes she childishly stuck her tongue out at you. Which completely caught you off guard.

Sevika sighed rolling her eyes. "Beat it kid!" Sevika snapped back at Jinx. Instead Jinx dropped down to get a better look at you. A look of recognition flashed across her eyes before she lazily pointed her smaller pocket gun at you.

"isn't this the same firelight that you let get away last time?" Jinx questioned Sevika with a furrowed brow.

"would you stop waving that thing around!?" Sevika snapped. As the two went back and forth you realized... they were like family. Whilst you were enjoying Sevika's hold on you you were beginning to get restless. You did a high kick to Jinx's wrist causing her weapon to go flying. She looked at you exasperated.

"Hey!" She yelled at you.

"Hi baby blue." You greeted snarkily as if you weren't in their custody at the moment.

"Would you crush her neck already or something!?" She said turning her attention back to Sevika.

"No. I think we'll keep this one for questioning." Sevika said before throwing you over her shoulder. The moment she did however you were able to leverage yourself much better. You managed to turn your body in a way that shot pain through Sevika's shoulder. She groaned as she let go of you. You took the freedom to hurdle yourself behind her.

You ran for it, then a felt an overwhelming blow run through your shoulder that knocked you to the ground. Not again you thought to yourself. Refusing to just lay there again you forced yourself to your feet. You grabbed your shoulder which had blood pouring out of both sides. You looked back to see Sevika holding Jinx's hand up again. Looks like she tried to stop her like she did last time. You groaned as you launched yourself out the window.

You whimpered from the pain and took in a sharp inhale as you prepared yourself to scale the building with one arm. You cursed uncontrollably once you reached the roof. You were unbelievablely light headed. You couldn't stop now though. You forced yourself to your feet again and ran up to the very top to get a better look at your surroundings.

It was an easy jump to the next building. You could do that in your sleep you assured yourself as you kicked off the enemies tower. That was when your vision began to fade to black and ringing takeover your ears. Your body was failing your will.

✦ · · · ·────────────────── · · · · ✦

When you opened your eyes next you were surprised to find Sevika looking down at you. "If I knew the angel of death with be this fine" you comment hoarsely. Sevika smirks in response.

"you're not dead." She clarified. "You made the jump. Aside from the hole in your shoulder you sustained pretty mild injuries." She further explained.

That was all well and good but you couldn't help feeling anxious as your eyes scanned your surrounding. "Relax, we're in neutral territory here." She assured you.

"Really?" You didn't know there was such a thing.

Sevika gave a soft "Mhm" in response which just melted your heart. God, why were you two even fighting all the time? You wondered hopelessly as your eyes ate her up. Of course you knew the answer but you refused to acknowledge it for the time being.

"Well we should come here more often" You muttered staring at her lips.

Sevika noticed your eyes trail of sight of course which amused her to no end. She stood up and stretched to give you a little show. "You thirsty?" She asked with a soft chuckle.

"Extremely" You replied unabashedly. She scoffed knowing full well what you really meant but still went off to grab you something. Without Sevika there to distract you, you reassessed your surroundings. It looked like a simple apartment. Then it dawned on you... Did Sevika bring you home like you were some lost puppy? Did she patch you up? You blushed deeply. Did she change and bathe you??

You pushed the last couple of thoughts from your mind. They were just too horrifying. You reached up to rub the remaining sleep from your eyes when you realized you were maskless. When Sevika walked back in you covered your face with both hands. "Where's my mask?" You inquire. She kissed her teeth in response.

"what's it matter now? I've been looking at you without it for days." She said before kneeling down by your side. She switched your glass of water to her mech hand so that the cold wouldn't startle you when she pried your hands from your face. "You shouldn't be hiding a face like yours anyways." She said before bringing the glass up to your lips.

You looked at her coyly before parting your lips for a drink. She grinned softly as she watched you. "So submissive I didn't even have to ask you to open your mouth." She said which caused you to choke splashing you both with water. Sevika laughed, like really laughed as she set the cup aside. It was the most beautiful thing you had ever heard.

"I'm sorry" You said embarrassed as you tried to dry your face.

"That's alright, we'll work on the swallowing part later." She said. It sounded so genuine that you couldn't tell if she was joking or not. You swallowed as you tried to compose yourself.

"is that a promise?" You questioned trying to take back control of the situation. Sevika grinned as she leaned in grabbing hold of your chin.

"More like a demand." She replied lowly stunning you into silence yet again. She chuckled softly as you looked at her like astonished. She had never tried to flirt back with you before. She was glad she waited until she could see your face. She was enjoying herself quite a bit. She came even closer to your face her lips brushing against yours before she turned your head to kiss your cheek.

"Tell me your name" She whispered into your ear. Another demand you were sure but you weren't sure it was the best idea. Yet, how could you possibly refuse her after she nursed you back to life?

"Y/N" you practically whimper. She leans back to look into your eyes. Feeling your anxiety well up in your stomach you reached out to switch off the lamp on her bedside table engulfing the two of you in darkness. Her lips still managed to find yours stunning you once again.

Sevika was fucking kissing you! Your body took action before you could even think again. You kissed her back feverantly. You felt the loss of warmth of her hand before the sound of her switching the light back on as she moved off her knees and onto the bed, never once breaking away from the kiss. It made your stomach flip.

It suddenly didn't matter about the light. You were like a starved animal being presented with the finest cut of steak you've seen in your life. You slipped your hands behind Sevika and pulled her shirt up. She giggled, she fucking giggled before sitting back to take it off for you. "Take it easy would you?" She asked lightly poking your bad shoulder.

Instead of responding to her concerns you leaned up to bite her exposed shoulder greedily. She groaned in response before scoffing amused. You were like a baby alligator or something. "Your turn little lizard." She said helping you undress.

✦ · · · ·────────────────── · · · · ✦

Part 2!

Feel free to send me some writing prompts for this pretty lady lol currently obsessed with her so feel free to take advantage and let me know what ya thought about this unprompted little blurb 🧌

[littlestl4mb]

you should make a little blurb about jealous lu!

PS: I love your work you are so cutesie

thank you dear anon!!!! i will put this under the cut because i kinda wrote more than i meant to lol oops

okay so i was thinking about this heavily. at first i thought hmmm luigi doesn’t strike me as the jealous type idk… he’s so intelligent and he’s an engineer so like… you know that mf is as logical and solution-oriented as they come. for better or worse. but then... i thought about it again and i went no YEAH lu definitely gets jealous... i think college lu FOR SURE would. and it drives him mad bc he knows his jealousy is stupid. it’s a foolish feeling, he probably thinks. yet one he can’t shake himself free from. especially when you’re first seeing each other but it’s not completely exclusive yet. when things between you are casual because you’re just getting to know each other?? yeahhhh his brain is going wild 24/7. he can’t stop thinking about you. he can’t stomach the idea of you spending your time with another person that isn’t him. he hates it too because he just knows he’s being too obsessive, that he’s being way too much. he has a lot of self awareness— he knows how to rationalize his heart with his head. but… he can’t stop the compulsive bitterness he feels towards anyone that shows you any sign of affection!!! the hormones just go crazy in that man’s head. he tries to keep a cap on most of his feelings, but when it comes to you it’s nearly impossible. and it only drives him more mad because he’s soooo aware of his jealousy and how futile such a feeling is, but he literally cannot save himself from it. 

he sees you walking down the sidewalk with some guy, and he hates the way his stomach drops. he acknowledges the fact that he has no autonomy over who you see or hang out with, and still he can’t stand it. loathes it. feels so powerless to an emotion that is eating him alive inside and out. the worst part is he kind of knows the guy you’re walking with too. not very well but enough. the kid isn’t even that bad— has exchanged some kind words with luigi before in passing. but all it takes is for the guy to be in the place that luigi has self righteously already claimed as his in his head, and now luigi fucking detests the guy. 

he rants about it to his friends the moment he sees them, “i just don’t fucking get it. the guy has no hobbies. he can’t write. have you seen the books he chooses to read around campus? horrible taste. i don’t see what she sees in him.” — and all his friends are telling him he needs to cool it because it’s out of his control. 

don’t worry though, luigi does not believe in cooling it. in fact, he calls you up on the phone and leaves you a 3 minute long voicemail. he’s not afraid to say how he feels so he lets it all out. he’s telling you how “you’re wasting your time with whatever-his-name-is.” says something like, “does he even do anything? i mean it. does he? at least i started the video game development club.” 

luigi is going OFF in his little voicemail. you listen to the full thing when you’re out of class, generally surprised by how out of the blue it is. the thing is, you didn’t even see luigi earlier when he evidently saw you. he must’ve spotted you and then slipped out of sight immediately.

you have another class to attend to, and not enough time to deal with whatever melt down the man is having. so all you can text him is ‘luigi, he was walking out of class with me and we were talking because we just got put together for a group project.’ it’s the truth too, there wasn’t anything nefarious going on between you two. 

of course, luigi calls you right away. you can’t pick up, but that doesn’t stop him from calling about 5 more times. when he finally sees you later, he probably stands by his word. he’s got too much pride to admit his wrong doing. or the fact that he jumped to conclusions so fast. 

…and then i think once you’re in a proper relationship, the way in which luigi gets jealous shifts. it’s not so much over the simple and stupid stuff. not the silly little things that you get jealous of when you’re young and think you’re the center of the world. when you’re finally exclusive with each other, he has no insecurities that you’re all about him. but … he is a taurus man and every taurus man i’ve ever known is jealous in the most covert way. and in my experience it’s in a very specific way too?? which i would call the “i have to know i’m important in your life” kind of way. 

it’s not so much about being jealous of you hanging out with others. no, in fact he likes that you have your own ways about you and you’re independent. but there’s still a part of him that needs the reassurance that he’s very much important to you. i hope this is making sense. like, he wants to know when you think of him, and he wants you to admit when you’ve missed him. he’d straight up tell you this too. “can you just admit when you think of me? i can’t just know it. i have to hear it in person from you.” 

also, i think he’d have this strange kind of possessive jealousy, where he has to know you through and THROUGH. he has a need to know you as much as humanly possible. he needs to be closer to you than anyone else. he gets jealous and bitter at the thought of others knowing you better than he does.

he’s observant, yes, and knows you that way. but he likes hearing you talk about everything and anything too, so that he can understand you more than anyone else ever has. he needs to know the memory you have of being a little girl and walking down the street, and how the people and buildings were just so tall. something so mundane that you never bothered telling anyone else, he has to have that knowledge like it's a drink of water when he's been walking through the desert for months. and i’m telling you right now— that man wants to know the block you grew up on. he wants to go there by himself and walk down it. he tries to see what you saw as a little girl, wants to see things how you saw them when you were young. thinks that if he does that, he can fathom your thoughts a little better. maybe be able to think your own thoughts himself— that he might know you so well that he becomes a part of you. 

[mythals-whore]

Some thoughts on fandom engagement

Post got long but TL;DR engagement is low, Never Ever Stop Creating! fandom is community and everyone needs to participate

extended thoughts and personal anecdote under the cut:

For writers:

I have turned off Kudos emails from ao3. I found myself checking my email and feeling discouraged when I didn't get them. So i turned the emails off so I wouldn't know I wasn't getting them. Even now when I go to my dashboard, I specifically do not look at the bottom of the work to see those numbers.

This is not me telling you to do the same thing. It is easier said than done, and I understand that. But that's what I had to do to have a good time.

Because for a little while, posting made it less fun. I felt like people didn't like it. I was being overly critical of myself, couldn't write more than three sentences without feeling like I was garbage and my work was garbage and I should just quit. I would post a chapter and then immediately want to take the whole thing down. But then I realized...

I have about four half-finished projects in my WIP folder. I have written like 500,000 words that no one has ever read. Because I had fun doing it! Because I enjoy writing!!

And the point of this isn't to say writers shouldn't want or expect engagement. That is not at all what I'm saying!

What I am saying is that if you enjoy writing and you find that posting your work is making you feel unmotivated, discouraged, and you're not having fun anymore it is okay to take it down. It’s okay to make your work private for a while. It's okay to turn off Kudos emails or even comments. Whatever you need to do to make it fun again, do that. If you enjoy creating, please do not let the lack of engagement stop you!

It's been really helpful for me to find a community of creators! Without the support of @thedissonantverses @flowersforthemachines and @basedonconjecture I may have deleted my work months ago!

And that said, if you want someone to read your work, there are so many people (including and especially me) who would love to read and promote you! Participate in WIP Wednesday and Writing Weekend! Promote your own work!! Promote other creators' work! This is how we build community!

For readers:

If you love fanfic, and fanart and fandom in general engage with it. The urge to take down your work is real! And not unique to me! If writers don't get kudos or comments or replies on tumblr, they will delete their work. If there's a fic you find, and you enjoy it but you don't engage with it do not be surprised if you log on one day and it isn't there anymore. Or if it gets orphaned. Or if they simply stop updating it.

Fandom is meant to be a community. The whole purpose of it is to enjoy the things you enjoy with other people. If you're consuming free work (be that fanfic, fan art or something else) and you're not liking or reblogging or commenting then those people will stop sharing it.

And my personal take, while we're here: I do not get it.

I do not understand why there are people out there who do not jump at the chance to directly engage with authors and artists who make things that you enjoy. You can tell them personally how much you like their work! You can ask them questions! You can send them your unhinged ramblings on The Character.

And before anyone comes to my replies and says: I never know what to say ))):

Here is a non-comprehensive list of 10 slightly unhinged things that I've actually commented on fics (some edited for brevity)

I am chewing on glass.

bye i’m putting my fist through the wall 😭

These two are consuming my every waking thought

That ruined me i fear. I have passed away

THIS IS LITERATURE. absolutely tore my heart out.

You are sick in the head my friend

Im gonna sip on this sentence a while.🤌🏻

how could you do this to them? writing about this in my burn book brb

A) You absolutely cooked here B) how fucking dare you?

 kicking my feet and giggling!!!!!

And this isn't just for ao3/fanfic writers. Fanartists deserve love too! Artists love feedback!! The more unhinged the better!! Tell us we're evil! Quote our work back to us! Tell us you're smashing through walls like the Kool-aid man! Tell us that our work is making you scream and cry and blush!

No one is expecting you to leave several long paragraphs with an actual annotated review (not that that wouldn't also be welcome). Comment! Engage! Community is the whole point!

This also goes for finding Tumblr mutuals, by the way. If you want to make friends with people on here engage with their content! Like their posts! Reply to them! Send asks and messages!

Stop being afraid to enjoy things! That is like...all we are doing here.

[gffa]

People shouldn't be too hard on Mon!

I absolutely love and is grateful of Freed's understanding and appreciation of the Jedi, apparent in the book, apparent in the interview he'd given for the book:

"For me, the excitement of the time period here, is that I tend to think of 'Star Wars' as a setting with plenty of room for grey area stories and moral ambiguity, but there are very clear lines of good and evil as well. There's no version of 'Star Wars' in which you look at the Emperor and go, 'Well, maybe he had some good ideas.' No, the Emperor is evil. And the Jedi and Luke at their best are good. Everything else exists somewhere in there. This is a period where the remains true but no one really knows that the Emperor is evil.

"As far as the public is concerned, this guy just won the worst war in living memory. The Clone Wars were this horrendous affair and Palpatine has put an end to it. Yes, he's declared himself Emperor but he's not the embodiment of all evil. There's not even a Death Star out there. On the absolute good side, the Jedi have sort of been tarnished in recent years. War scrapes away at the shining morality of any organization."

I think Freed really understands what Lucas meant when he said "The Jedi have been corrupted by this war."

...but I still don't hold it against Mon cause she's going through hell and she spoilerspoilerspoilerspoiler in the later half of the book. I think she's fascinating, wonderful, equally valid character with equally valid viewpoints as Bail within context of their own worlds and experiences in this novel.

The editor of the book said it best:

Bail – knows the truth about Palpatine, the Empire, and the fall of the Jedi. Caught between his commitment to truth and justice at any cost, and the duty he has to the daughter he’s been entrusted to protect.

Mon Mothma – a master politician, who believes – like so many – that opposing Palpatine is part of the regular game of politics. She doesn’t yet realize, Palpatine stood up from the game board years ago, and she’s playing against shadows.

Mon and Bail are allies, but not really friends (at this time). Padme was their link, and now, she’s gone. Where does that leave them?

For Mon and Bail especially, the secrets Bail holds that he cannot reveal leaves a gulf between them. And what does it mean when they find themselves at odds with each other, over truths they cannot speak?

prev anon) I'm talking about their different mindsets and experiences and viewpoints born from those and I'm not excusing Mon's... *spoilers* anyway I hope you enjoy the rest of the book! It's so nice seeing an author like Freed, who usually writes non-force side of sw, handling the jedi with such warmth, understanding and awareness

This was such a reassuring message to get, thank you! I've been avoiding spoilers for the book as best I can, but I'm only a quarter of the way through it and I was wondering how the various themes were going to go, but Freed's interview quotes and your comments have made me glad that I'm picking up what this book is putting down, because that's exactly how I've been reading it. (And why I'm hoping to encourage more people to read it--though, I will give a warning that this book can be uncomfortably prescient about current events in a way that I wouldn't say Alexander Freed Is A Witch, but that can be very hard to read about if you're not in the headspace to deal with a lot of reflections of the dumpster fire we're currently in.) As for Mon, I hope nobody comes down on her for this, because as much as I scream, cry, throw up, etc., over Bail's scenes, in general I lean a bit more towards Mon's way of doing things, because I think her approach is her answer to the question, "But what can actually be truly achieved?" That she is looking at an incredibly shitty situation with only shitty options and asking herself what can she actually get done, what does she have a snowball's chance in hell of success with? And she knows clearing the Jedi's name at this point in time is not on the table, not when there are a million other things that might actually do tangible good for the galaxy. And I don't disagree with that! I love the Jedi more than anyone, but clearing their name isn't more important that, say, trying to stop the Wookiees from being classified as a non-sentient species! Clearing their name isn't important enough to blow all your political capital and having nothing to show for it when there are people who you can help, with a chance that will actually succeed! Bail's idealism isn't stupid, he's incredible and the galaxy needs a shining light like him, it's necessary for the bigger hope for the future, we can't make it through the dark times without bright, shining hope. So even when they don't always think positively of each other, I never get the sense that Bail and Mon don't understand that the other is doing what they think is best. They just disagree on what that is. And it makes sense! Bail knew and was friends with the Jedi! He knows the truth about Palpatine and how important all that Force shit is to what's going on here! Mon is operating with the idea that this is a political battle--and she's not entirely wrong, she's necessary to the recovery of the galaxy, too, just as Luke is necessary to save the day, so too is Leia, and I sort of see that reflected in Bail and Mon's approaches--one is focusing on the mystical and one is focusing on the political and I think both are important here. So, I have nothing but hearts for Mon Mothma and what she's trying to do for the galaxy.

And I don't see them as antagonists here, I see them as two people who look at each other with the understanding that there is deep love and compassion for people in the other, that they want this other person on their side not just for political alliances but because they care, and maybe they want to scream in frustration that the other person can't see what they see, but I don't feel for a second that this is going to end with them anything other than them as friends. Their scene in Rogue One implies she knows about Bail knowing a living Jedi, if not directly knowing about Obi-Wan Kenobi, which isn't something he would tell just anyone. I'm hoping for the same with Saw, there's going to be conflict about their approaches, and I love that that's clearly a theme/why these three characters were chosen as the pillars of this book, that each of them are shown to have their reasons why and that each of them serve a purpose. I scream/cry/throw up more about the Jedi because that's the most fun for me, but I am enthralled with Mon's chapters just as much, the political tightrope she's on, and I would encourage people to read for those aspects just as much as I would encourage them for crying about the Jedi. ANYWAY, EVERYONE SHOULD READ THIS BOOK FOR YOURSELF, I'm having fun with the snippets I'm posting, but the book is so much more than those things! It's one of the best SW for rounding out the characters and filling in the transitions between the movies and TV shows, but in a way that keeps the tension and emotional gut-punches despite that we know where it's going. ALSO, MON MOTHMA AND BAIL ORGANA ARE THE BEST, I'M WILLING TO FIGHT THE INTERNET OVER THIS

[chessboredom]

Hey hey! Yeah ive noticed when it comes to actual toxic shadowvanilla (or even closer to cannon) they dont get in depth of it. It feels like theres something MISSING! Ackkkkkkk i am a beliver of them being mutually toxic to each other (especially tr) If TR did for some reason truly became a cookie of decite, it would not end well for either of them! Think about it, shadow milk wants someone who understands BUT how he wants Pure vanilla to be a cookie of decite. And and shadow milk so caught up in his joy didnt even notice the cannon betryal, then take that and up it with truthless recules. Tr would 100% be lying for his own gain, probably notice shadowmilks emotional weakness and twist it like a KNIFE! The roles would be reversed! Shadowmilk is the puppet now, yet he doesnt KNOW it! So blinded by his loneiess, and the need to have someone to understand him! That he allowed himself be used (quite ironic if you think about it) cuz PV normally is not one to show his emotions in his sprites (other than his staff and well shadowmilk meddling) AND HE ISNT A OWO MAN!!! Sick of the owo man treatment! TR is that but UPPED!! A cookie of decite who doesnt express his emotions, able to twist it however he likes. Like i can see this as a Sm thinks hes the puppet master, while being the puppet. Tr lets him think that!!! Its easier to maulipate someone if they think their in control. Its MESSY! (I cannot put into words how messed up this situation would be) shadow milk you FOOL! Youve created your own MONSTER! One who sees you as a means to a end, a PUPPET. False fluff, fapse happiness, false LOVE! What TR gives you is a LIE and even if theres truth in it YOU DONT KNOW IT, YOU COUNDNT EVEN TELL WHEN HE PULL OFF A LIE! (In cannon) YOU are now in the web of lies of your own creation, Tr is your spider!! Anyway uh thats a little bit of what this dymatic makes me go crazy over (i have more ideas....)

ANON YOU FUCKKING GET IT OH MY GOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS REAL!!!!!!! I LOVE TOXIC YAOIIII!!!!

I'm gonna fucking yap about PV characterization (AGAIN.) (I just love him so fucking much.)

Very Long LONG post. XP

I'm so happy right now because you UNDERSTAND that PV isn't just some fucking UwU bean guy. Like, this is why he's so fucking good at being a leader because of his EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE and that he DOESN'T get caught up by his emotions and focuses on the problems even if it's stressful. Like a scene in Odyssey where Dark Cacao gets MAD when Clotted Cream had the idea of wanting the powers of the Soul Jam but Pure Vanilla remained calm as ever(And all of the sprites used this scene have his eyes open. He is SERIOUS.) Out of the WHOLE Ancients, despite his youthful, brighter amd unchanging appearance (and that's why his Korean Va is a girl to convey his youthfulness) he is the nost mature because he tries to Understand the situation and not diving head first. He isn't a warrior, but he is skilled involving emotions BUT he keeps DOUBTING himself at first like "I can't believe I did that! But I'd do anything for my friends to protect them."

AND THEN SHADOW MILK COOKIE COMES IN!!!! Omg Shadow Milk Cookie, DO NOT unlock the full potential of that Skill Pure Vanilla- I man Truthless Recluse has(Emotional Intelligence😇 LEVEL UP! ➡️ Emotional Manipulation😈) that he made you look stupid by making YOU think that YOU are the one IN CONTROL!

LOOK AT HOW HE DOES IT BY MAKING SMILK THINK HE'S IN CONTROL!!

En got "You and I... were meant to be together."❌️ The shadowvanilla shippers are really feeding on this line omg.

Kr got "I guess I have to accept you... Or become a part lf you."✅️ THAT'S WHAT I WANTED TO SEE!!!! EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION AT IT FINEST BAYBEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! MAKE HIM THINK HE'S THE ONE PULLING YOUR STRINGS WHEN YOU'VE ALREADY SLITHERED YOUR WAY THROUGH HIS MASK!!!! UUUGGHH SMILK YOU MADE HIM BETTER THAN YOUUU

That's why I kept mentioning that PV is KIND, and not Nice and he is pretty much capable of incredible violence. Does anyone even REMEMBER PV having enough seeing his friends suffer when he was the last one standing that he tries TO KILL DARK ENCHANTRESS?? He does a lot of things that involves he SACRIFICING HIMSELF in the process. UGHHH!! FUCK!! PURE VANILLA COOKIE IS NOT NICE!! HE WANTED TO KILL SHADOW MILK COOKIE!!! Remember the "Crash Out" scene? That's his true emotions having throwing a suprise party. He had ENOUGH. Then the scenery changes that made him remember that he wasn't supposed to be a violent person. He's an angel! 😇🙏 Silly Vanillyyy, why would you say "I'M GOING TO DESTROY YOU!!" that isn't like you at all!! [sarcasm](He is literally holding back the rage every single fucking day of his life.)

As much as people love to draw PV hugging Smilk closing to the end of the Ep, he literally beats him up and people seem to forget that over thinking PV is nice Uwu It doesn't have to be this way Shadow Milk Cookie. Meanwhile in the Korean version, Awakened PV had a dialogue that went, "I like helping people but I had enough of your shit Shadow Milk Cookie.☺️" Pure Vanilla Cookie said calmly. (Link to the video I made with this line.) And then made shooting stars of Truth descend from the sky to attack him. He did say he wanted Smilk to be his friend, but he wouldn't back down in a fight anymore. That's why his Awakened "Compassionate" form finally showing his real role that he is a MAGIC TYPE all along who has been disguised under the role of a HEALER.

Anyway TR ♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤ SMILK. TOXIC YAOI REAL!! Two Cookies of Deceit. One emotional and one empty. Smilk may be the best at psychological warfare and torture, but he got himself an emotional manipulator. Tr easily takes advantage of his emotions because he acts like a child!! Just give him what he wants then he'll be satisfied in no time. Take it away from him, he's gonna have his tantrums again.

Noe I couldn't add more tbh. You explained it well and all I could do is smash the TRUE over and over.

Even with my interpretation of canon that Tr won't last long with Smilk because of the Friendship Gang and "the universe couldn't allow this! One of you turn "good" now!", I like to think the toxicity still lives through Awakened PV since he's both Truth AND Deceit. Like a bright star from light years away that's actually dead, he could still act as of he were still TR to make Smilk more paranoid and obsessed with him in a more fucked up secretive way that other people wouldn't even notice because PV is already good! He wouldn't do evil things again, right? Hehe.

Also sharing this twt post of Tr ripping Smilk's eye as well. 🥰🥰🥰

https://x.com/41n4v15/status/1896085874628087843

[thefandombringer]

Season 3 Milkvan is not nearly as cute as I remembered it being 4 years ago

So I’m rewatching s3 for the first time in a hot minute because I remembered that being the most milkvan heavy season but what I’ve realized in this rewatch is that there is not a single scene between Mike and El where Mike does not have to put up some sort of facade. We see a lot of Mike’s genuine character in the first two seasons, especially when he is happy (playing D&D with the party, spending time with his friends and Will) so we as an audience can tell that all the times where Mike appears happy in season 3—especially in scenes with El—are NOT Mike’s genuine personality.

Im not sure quite how to explain it, but the main scenes that come to mind are the opening scene with them making out in El’s bedroom, Mike’s phone call to El when he lies about his Nana, and the scene in the pool with that human dummy thing. Two of these are scenes where Mike is supposedly happy and joking around with El, but they have a very superficial vibe to them—which will be the first . I’m pretty sure that anyone can clock those moments if they watch those on their own but, as someone that does a lot of acting, mannerism and vocal inflection shifts are key when playing different characters. The way Mike holds himself and delivers his lines do not feel like the same Mike that we grew to know and love in the earlier seasons and, since Finn is obviously not a terrible actor (he is, in fact, quite a good actor), we as the audience are meant to realize that Mike is not being his true self or, in other words, playing another character. He can’t be his genuine self around El (which is also demonstrated very very clearly in season 4 but this shows that these issues did not come out of nowhere), which heavily contrasts the other significant relationships in the show, especially throughout season 3 (Jancy, Jopper, Lumax) who are their authentic selves with each other and are able to bicker and match each other’s energies while still very clearly loving each other. Milkvan is not like them, and not in a good way.

The second portion of this (and why I mentioned the phone call scene) is the fact that Mike talks to her like he has to dumb himself down/like she is much younger and unable to understand how he would talk to her normally. I really don’t has a way to describe this other than just recommending that you watch those scenes again to see what I mean. It’s obvious that he cares about her and really does enjoy talking to her, but in a way that I would talk to my younger siblings/cousins. Is this how a healthy relationship should seem? I certainly hope not. This is doubled by the fact where in that one interview (I have no idea where to find it so if someone has it please link it!!) Finn says that when he first met El, it was like taking in an alien like in ET. Again, not very romantic. It is also explicitly shown that this is not how everyone talks to El, so it’s not like she can’t understand the standard level of conversation. Such a big emphasis on El and Max’s friendship and the fact that Max treats El as an equal and helps her find her own personality instead of babying El and keeping her sheltered and controlled. She can be treated like a regular person and is so much better for it. She’s not you pet, Michael.

Notice how both of these major problems are never found between Mike and Will. All of their conversations and interactions within the show are 100% genuine and authentic and never feel superficial or forced. Their relationship is also taken much more seriously throughout the whole show when contrasted to Milkvan, but that’s a whole separate post. Mike and Will’s fights are serious and real, while Mike and El’s (with the exception of the “From Mike” fight, which is pretty telling) are comedic and surface level and played for laughs.

BYLER ENDGAME BYLER ENDGAME

[prince-kallisto]

Ahh these are the sort of topics I don’t know how to word well in English , so forgive me if I have roundabout explanations for things 😆 this is a bit of a fandom bent, I apologize again for any mistaken words on anything 💦

But I guess I’m just a little disheartened by the EN fandom- particularly with the whole manga Yuu situation. I adore all the Yuu’s, I love all the Yuu OCs that this amazing and creative fandom has designed.

But I’m seeing an…over exaggeration? Or pedestal put onto the Scarabia Yuu, Yuuna Oujou, and the way some people have discussed the manga Yuu’s have made me a little uncomfortable.

I’ve seen some people be like “finally! A girl Yuu for the manga!” Or “finally! A Yuu who presents herself as a woman!” (This is way different than a celebration of a femme Yuu btw).

? Yuuka, the Savanaclaw Yuu, IS a woman. Some people have been claiming that she’s “hiding her gender” in the all-boy’s school, or “downplaying” her gender, and how they’re so happy that Yuuna is “unapologetically a woman.”

But Yuuka, even in her previous world, has ways presented as a bit more masc- a very bifauxnen, cool girl type of character who is resolute in her strength because of her judo experience. A translation of the manga I read even has her referring to herself as a “ordinary school girl.” It’s just her own personal style of presenting herself. She also exercises in a sports bra! The only troubles she has is the troubles ALL Yuu’s have: that they’re magicless and aren’t meant to be here at this school and this WORLD.

And frankly, it’s uncomfortable that I’ve seen so many people in the fandom act as if feminine style is the only valid way to present as a woman, the implications that Yuuka is not a woman from the way she chooses to dress or cut her hair.

I’m so so happy that people find joy in a very femme presenting Yuu- I love Yuuna just as much! But when the conversation begins turning into…implying femininity is the only way to be/present as a woman, that’s not…it just feels awful. Yuuka was our first girl Yuu, Yuuna is the second. They present differently, but neither of them ever once worry about having the “hide” their gender. Please celebrate Yuuna’s style if that’s what you mean, instead of the “true girl” Yuu.

And on another note, there is the very popular and so far very likely theory of a “boy-girl” pattern in the manga Yuu’s- especially since all the Yuu’s so far have been the opposite gender as the Disney villains of each dorm. Meaning, the theory is that a male Yuu is likely for Diasomnia.

And I’m seeing a very vocal crowd dismissing the idea of male Yuu in the Diasomnia arc, that they want a girl, they’d hate a male Yuu, “Malleus forgot it’s not an Otome so it has to be a girl Yuu!”, they want a girl to be with Malleus “because [we] want Malleyuu.”

And again. It just feels so…alienating. Malleus and Malleyuu personally isn’t for me, but I’ve spent many years hopping around Otome and romance games in the past, and male and NB fans of these genres are frequently told that they don’t belong in the fandom, that these games cater to women.

But most conversations bringing up the possibility of romance games bringing in he/him, they/them or even customizable pronouns for the player are often shut down in most community spaces. Games like TWST, with an ambiguous MC and individual interactions with a character of your choice (ie the home screen voicelines)- or even games like Obey Me or the Arcana, are a rarity have made me really happy and feel really comfortable in the fandoms. Even if the game’s audience is mostly women, the MC/Yuu has *always* had an open identity.

So…the concept that Malleyuu is only WANTED by a portion of the fandom ONLY it’s a girl Yuu just brings back those same feelings again. Of course you may have whatever Yuu you want in your own personal Malleyuu ship!! But one girl Yuu can never represent the whole fandom, one male Yuu can never represent the whole fandom. So it’s strange there’s this complete outcry at the idea of a boy, and in turn of non-het Malleyuu ships in the fandom. Male Yuu is still Malleyuu. An NB Yuu is a still Malleyuu

The manga and the Yuu’s have never shown a romantic relationship towards any character- any fanservicey moments still remain from the game, no matter the Yuu it’s aimed towards. And not just from Housewardens- all the characters have their bits of fanservice! But it never goes farther than that in the main story especially.

With the reveal of Yuuna, the EN fandom has been celebrating the diversity and openmindness of the world of twst, and how customizable your Yuu’s truly are. Yuu is…you! Yuu can be whoever you want. But it all falls apart when a portion of the fandom see Yuuna as the only valid girl Yuu, when the mere idea of a male Yuu for Diasomnia or for Malleyuu is bashed and hated.

Or you know what- the idea of male or even NB Yuu is bashed entirely every single time there’s a damn announcement for the manga. A while back, the Scarabia manga announcements were mistranslated in English, and the gender ambiguous language for Yuu was accidental turned into he/him (which turned out to be Yuuna). And the level of vitriol I saw over the idea of a male Yuu was so fucking disheartening. And now it’s happening all over again with a future Diasomnia manga.

Edit: this is not to say that I don’t like the speculation over the future Yuu’s. I love hearing about the theories of their possible personalities, interests, looks, etc based on the previous Yuu’s 😆💖 including the super interesting concepts I’ve heard for the story of a girl Yuu in Diasomnia! This vent is aimed towards different comments however

Is the manga and their Yuu’s really a celebration of diversity in the EN fandom? It doesn’t feel that way, at all. Perhaps I’m just being self centered about this, but I’ve found myself increasingly upset about how vocal these two issues have been, and I wish some people could be more mindful about it

Apologies for my incoherency in this vent 💦💦💦💦💦 this is NOT hate toward Malleyuu or Yuuna fans as a whole- or towards anyone in fact. This is just a vent and a slight critique just certain parts of the fan bas

[redgoldsparks]

February Reading and Reviews by Maia Kobabe

I post my reviews throughout the month on Storygraph and Goodreads, and do roundups here and on patreon. Reviews below the cut. You might notice the layout image looks different! I have switched to using the Storygraph wrap up :)

The Baker and The Bard by Fern Haught

A sweet, slight fantasy story focused on friendship. A baker and her friend, an aspiring bard, go on a little adventure into the forest looking for a specific type of mushroom. On the way they encounter some misunderstood magical creatures, a nonbinary fey, and only the smallest amounts of danger and conflict. The gentleness of the story makes it appropriate for, and I believe aimed at, a fairly young audience, definitely middle grade or early reader rather than YA. 

I Shall Never Fall in Love by Hari Conner 

This is a witty, well-written queer romance set in the mid-1800s, England. The story borrows heavily from Emma while still feeling like its own fresh tale, especially because of the inclusion of characters of color, queer characters, and a gender-nonconforming love interest. I was rooting for Eleanor and George all the way; both rooting for them to get together and also rooting for them to find the space to know themselves and express that authentically around the people they love! The art in this book is stunning, with beautiful colors, and so much thoughtful historical research went into the design of the houses, costumes, and world of these characters. Highly recommend, especially if you're a Jane Austen fan. 

Conversations with People Who Hate Me written and read by Dylan Marron 

I picked this book up after loving Dylan Marron's podcast The Redemption of Jar Jar Binks, a 6 episode miniseries that I find myself thinking about all the time. Unfortunately, I do think having listened to that already dented my experience of this book, because I already knew a chunk of the story from the podcast which made listening to the book feel a bit repetitive. However! I still finished and overall enjoyed Conversations with People Who Hate Me, which is about Marron's podcast of the same name, in which he called up folks who had left hateful comments on his youtube videos or facebook and just had a conversation with them. What prompted them to leave a hateful comment? What kind of values impacted how they saw the world? Might they change their mind if they had more evidence? Did they ever expect Dylan Marron to actually see their comment? (The answer to this last was almost always "no.") This is an interesting political moment to think about this project of deliberate, compassionate connection, and Marron is thoughtful about the privilege that allowed him the emotional bandwidth to pursue it.

You and Me, On Repeat by Mary Shyne

Time loop fans, rejoice! Mary Shyne has crafted a clever, gorgeous treasure box of a story. Part coming-of-age, part romance, part sci-fi, all heart. I was drawn in from the very first page, hooked with the stylish art and the intriguing premise. I fell so hard for Chris and Alicia and all of the stupidly teenage and deeply human choices that lead them into a pocket dimension of space-time. Who hasn't wanted a redo option on one of the most important days of their life? What would you do if trapped in a time loop of your high school graduation day? I left the book rooting for these two! I had the pleasure of reading this book early :) It's available for preorder now, or grab it from a bookstore in May 2025! 

You Are a Sacred Place: Visual Poems for Living in Climate Crisis by Madeleine Jubilee Saito

Saito reached a hand into some of my very own darkest climate crisis-induced depressive thoughts and drew me gently back into the light. We are all part of this natural world, and we are meant to be here, and it is good that we are here. Those things can be hard to remember sometimes, but these delicate comics underline their truth. I also got to read this early - It comes out March 25, 2025, so you can reorder it now or find it in bookstores soon.

Hey Mary! by Andrew Wheeler and Rye Hickman

Saints and stories come to vivid life in this compassionate story of a young man learning to balance his sexuality and his faith. For any readers out there trying to find space in their Catholicism for their queerness, I hope this book can light the way. Another one I got to read ahead of it's release! It's out on April 15, so you can preorder or book for it in bookstores and libraries soon.

Akane-Banashi vol 1 by Yuki Suenaga, illustrated by Takamasa Moue translated by Stephan Paul

As a child, Akane watched her father fail out of a program dedicated to training rakugo, traditional Japanese storytellers. Now in high school, she is pursuing the same career under the same teacher. This book has a lot of familiar series-set up elements- a rival older student, a series of fellow trainees, a reluctant mentor- but unfortunate didn't deeply capture me. I'm unsure if I'll continue on with this series.

She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat vol 4 by Sakaomi Yuzaki translated by Caleb Cook

THIS SERIES IS SO FREAKING CUTE! I love how it's diving into some of complicated and logistical realities of being queer in Japan. I also love how supportive the friend group is. Yuri fans you need to pick this up! 

Beautyland by Marie-Helene Bertino 

Adina is born in 1977 to a human mother on Earth; but she is not totally of this world. Some part of her is also an alien, attuned to a planet with a collective consciousness, far away in the stars. Through a lonely childhood in Philadelphia, Adina faxes notes and observations on human life to her far away family. She grows up as the child of a single, working class mother, with few friends, but a fierce commitment to live as her own singular self. I really enjoyed the light-handed prose, the short slice-of-life chapters, and the insightful look at what it feels like to grow up an outsider. Adina reminded me of myself; she reminded me of many of my other oddball, queer, trans, or asexual friends who have always felt out of step with the lives of those around us. It reminded me, yet again, that there is perhaps nothing more human than feeling like an alien among one's peers. 

The Lesson by Cadwell Turnbull read by Janina Edwards and Ron Butler 

Set on St. Thomas in the Virgin Islands, this debut sci-fi novel wrestles with some big and weighty concepts. We are introduced to two families, neighbors, with their own interwoven concerns: a married couple struggling with relationship, a woman questioning her sexuality, a teen questioning her faith, a man yearning for more ambitious career and travel options in middle age. Then an alien ship arrives above the island and the book jumps forward 5 years in time to show how a powerful controlling presence has impacted the lives of everyone on the island. The Ynaa offered advanced medicines and technology to humans in exchange for staying for a time to do an unspecified type of research. But the co-existence is not peaceful: the Ynaa lash out with extreme violence over minor provocations. This tense situation cannot last. There was much to enjoy in this novel, and the audiobook was very well read by two narrators. I did think the final act suffered from some pacing issues, and a second time jump near the end worked much less well for me than the big time jump near the beginning. It was interesting to read this after having read Turnbull's second novel No Gods, No Masters which contains similar themes but with a much more complex story structure and much larger cast. 

The Guy She Was Interested In Wasn’t A Guy At All vol 2 by Sumiko Arai

I'm obsessed with these little rock-n-roll lesbians. This series gives me some similar vibes as Nana except sweeter, sillier, and hopefully heading in a much less tragic direction! The art is to die for, I spent so long just looking at every page in awe. Makes me want to draw more comics!

Marbles: Mania, Depression, Michelangelo and Me by Ellen Forney

This comic has been on my TBR for a decade and I'm so glad I finally picked it up! Forney's cartooning is so clear, articulate and accessible; it really opened up a window for me into the experience of being bipolar. I loved the many creative visual metaphors, the inclusion of sketchbook pages, and the self-compassionate tone. I can see what this book set such an early high standard in the genre of comics memoirs! 

Lone Women by Victor Lavalle read by Joniece Abbott-Pratt

In the opening scene, Adelaide Henry is spreading gasoline through the rooms of her childhood home in a farming valley in California in 1915, and over the bodies of her murdered parents. She leaves California with a rucksack and a steamer trunk, bound for Montana, where a woman alone can claim a plot of land. If she lives on it for at least three years and establishes a farm, she'll become the owner of the parcel. But can she really survive the harsh coming winter, the white supremacy of the nearby town, and the deadly family curse she's carrying? I really enjoyed the audiobook of this novel, but found myself pondering whether or not I felt like it fit into the horror genre, which is the primary genre tag on goodreads. Can a horror book have a happy ending? Is it horror is I don't feel like the narrative voice is trying to horrify me, rather show how marginalized woman can survive, even against extreme odds, by banding together? If I was shelving it I'd more likely to put this in historical fiction. 

The Deep by Rivers Solomon, read by Daveed Diggs 

Yetu is the historian for her underwater society, a group of deep sea merfolk who live in the depths of the Atlantic. She carries all of the memories, beautiful and painful, of their ancestors- pregnant women tossed overboard from ships during the years of slave trading. It is a great honor and a terrible burden to carry these memories, and Yetu thinks it might kill her to carry them alone. When an opportunity comes to leave the memories and her people behind, Yetu takes it. But who is she without her past and her people? I listened to this 4 hour novella on audio and enjoyed it a lot of a mythical alternate history. 

The Hundred Years War on Palestine by Rashid Khalidi

"His Majesty's government view with favour the establishment in Palestine of a national home for the Jewish people, and will use their best endeavours to facilitate the achievement of this object, it being clearly understood that nothing shall be done which may prejudice the civil and religious rights of existing non-Jewish communities in Palestine..." -Lord Arthur Balfour, 1917, statement made on behalf of the British cabinet (page 24)

"For in Palestine we do not propose even to go through the form of consulting the wishes of the present inhabitants of the country... The Four Great Powers are committed to Zionism." -Lord Arthur Balfour, 1919, confidential memo to the British cabinet (page 37)

"'If you wish to colonize a land in which people are already living," [Ze'ev] Jabotinsky wrote in 1925, "you must find a garrison for the land, or find a benefactor who will provide a garrison on your behalf... Zionism is a colonizing venture, and therefore, it stands or falls on the question of armed forces.'" (page 51)

"In a cover letter to [President Woodrow] Wilson, the commissioners presciently warned that 'if the American government decided to support the establishment of a Jewish state in Palestine, they are committing the American people to the use of force in that area, since only by force can a Jewish state in Palestine be established or maintained.' The commission thereby accurately predicted the course of the subsequent century." (page 51-52)

This is an extremely well written, clear, concise book. The author draws extensively from primary source documents going back to 1895. His grandparents, his parents, and his immediate family lived through many of the events he outlines; he personally knew Yassar 'Arafat, long time leader of the PLO; he was an advisor to the negotiations between Israel and the PLO which began in Madrid in 1991 and ran (unsuccessfully) into 1993; he lived in Beirut through weeks of Israel bombardment in 1982; he and his father worked for the United Nations in the 1960s and sat through Security Council meetings on the Arab-Israeli conflict, including a meeting in which an intentional US political delay allowed Israel to make a preemptive attack on Syria. These personal anecdotes enliven what is overall a very grim history of broken treaties, broken promises, and conflict. I pulled the quotes because I want to be able to return to them later, to remind myself how clear it has been since the beginning that Britain and the US considered the Palestinian people necessary and acceptable sacrifices. 

[zeel-zzz]

Red Rose Surprise

[a rosekiller kid fic]

BARISTA BARTY | ROSEKILLER | WC: 2.7k

i'm not sure why no one's written a rosekiller kid fic, but i give you this. i will definitely expand on this because i just love this idea so fucking much.

"Stupid strawberry milk."

If Barty was allowed to say one thing publicly without the risk of being fired from his place of employment, he'd probably say fuck big companies who ruined coffee shops for regular ass people. 

Sure, the big coffee chains have been around for years and it’s not like he knew what ordering coffee was like before them, but it didn’t mean he couldn’t despise them.

At least they were taking away the really insufferable customers, or that's what his boss liked to say. The only reason she can say that is because she doesn’t have to deal with them. 

Barty’s known to have a shit attitude. This is especially known in the coffee shops that employed him so many years ago. He doesn't take shit from anyone, and who have been going long enough know that Barty doesn't fuck aroud. 

He’s pretty sure Rosmerta is using his bad attitude in some marketing scheme.

“Stop by The Three Brews and get uniquely insulted by our prickly barista as he makes you latte art.”

He has to give it to her if that is actually what she’s doing, it’s one hell of a marketing tactic.

Still, it doesn’t mean he enjoys dealing with the annoying customers, and sure, he does know how to make the complex orders, and yeah he technically can make them, but it's not like he wants to. There’s a menu for a reason. Barty was not going to make a triple shot latte with a fraction of every type of milk substitute they had in stock. 

I mean, he could use the syrup pumps when people wanted hyper specific orders, but there’s a reason why they were placed so far back. Barty wasn’t going to walk all the way back there when the next customer just wanted an espresso. Getting orders out quickly got him tips and tips were what paid for his lunch.

What really worsened them was Rosmerta's seasonal menu, because now if Barty said they ran out of something they could just point to the menu’s seasonal options. 

“If you’re out, why are you still offering it? The least you could do is take it off the menu."

Apologies Susan, he wasn't aware someone could simply wipe off the words from their laminated menu that was placed in front of the cash register.  

He also hated the menu because it meant he had to put even more effort when serving. It’s not like you could serve a ‘Heart Flutter’ with a frown. It ruins the atmosphere or whatever.

Sometimes he wishes he would’ve just taken Regulus’ money, at least then he wouldn’t be forced to work the morning before Valentine's Day listening to the same romantic pop songs as he wiped down the coffee machine for the umpteenth time. 

One more hour, he just had to hold off for one more hour.

The door chimed and Barty only rolled his eyes when he heard the soft clicking of metal rings rubbing against each other.

“If you're not gonna order, you can make your way out, Sirius. I'm not dealing with your shit today.”

Barty could feel the judgemental stare of a mother on the other side of the counter. If it wasn't for the fact that he was still on the clock he would've flipped her off already.

“You can't kick me out Crouch, Rosmerta loves me.”

“Rosmerta loves using your face to draw up business. Hurry up and get behind the counter before we get told off again.” Barty threw him an apron that Sirius was just barely able to catch.

So, the thing was Sirius didn't actually work here, and technically he wasn't allowed behind the counter, but it's not like Sirius needed the money and Rosmerta wasn't going to keep him from working for free. 

“Are you still pissed off that I'm ditching you to go out with my super tall, super smart, super hot boyfriend tomorrow.” 

Sirius pulled his hair back carelessly before tying it up. Only Sirius Black could present an effortless look with no actual effort.

“Do I need to remind you that I've already had the pleasure of enjoying your super tall, super smart, super hot boyfriend.”

Barty had in fact had a go with Sirius’ boyfriend some couple months back. They hadn't known each other at the time, and Barty was certain that if he hadn’t hooked up with Lupin that night, Sirius and Remus would have never even met. Sirius’ entire relationship existed because of Barty.

“Don't talk about Moony like he's a piece of meat.”

“Oh, so only you can objectify him?”

Sirius nodded as he took off his jacket to hang on a hook and tied his apron. “Boyfriend privileges, but you wouldn't know about that would you Crouch.”

He wouldn't actually, Barty Crouch Jr wasn't known for settling. Not a single one of his relationships lasted longer than three months, at least if you didn’t count Emmeline Vance, who Barty tends to go back to every couple months when she’s single.

Sirius didn't count Emmeline as a relationship.

Barty could only roll his eyes before he started on the next order, cappuccino, no foam. He wanted to kill someone.

And so it went for the next half an hour, Barty rotated from creatively insulting one of his regulars and resisting the urge to pour the frothing milk on some prick's head. 

“Fuck this, I'm taking a break, call me if you don't know what your doing.”

Sirius waved him off before he turned to the cash register with a bright smile, his loose curls falling to frame his face. Barty wasn’t even surprised when the woman began to stumble with her order, Sirius had that effect on everyone.

He was sitting across the counter when a little girl walked in all by herself.

Bright blonde hair held in two crooked pigtails. A set of plastic butterfly wings that were sliding off her shoulder, her face decorated with glitter and star stickers. He was pretty sure that the smudged paint around her eyes was supposed to resemble wings as well. It was the sparkling princess skirt and mismatched shoes with untied laces that really pulled the whole thing together.

She was already heading towards the display case, eyes focused on the pastries that had been delivered earlier that day by the local bakery.

Sirius leaned over the counter when he noticed who Barty was looking at. 

“Hi sweetie, you see something you like.”

The girl looked up at Sirius with a nod before she pointed at one of their last brownies. Barty bit the inside of his cheek, he was really hoping that someone wouldn't take it before his shift was over.

As if to sense his despair Sirius looked over at Barty in question.

Would Barty be generous for the first time in his life and sacrifice the last brownie to the little girl who had her face pressed against the glass, or would he be a selfish prick and break this little girl's dream?

Barty sighed before gesturing for Sirius to give it to her.

He hated kids. He hated seeing their round faces with their big eyes.

Oh, but the smile that broke out the moment Sirius handed it to her in a napkin was heart melting. Barty couldn't help but laugh at the way she began to jump around in joy. Her little wings flapping with each jump she made.

“Luna, there you are. What did I tell you about running off on me?”

The girl turned around proudly presenting the brownie she had just received, “Evie look, brownie!”

Barty hadn't even noticed when the guy walked in, too focused on making sure she didn't slip on her untied shoelaces.

He was tall, and that was saying something because Barty was tall. He might not have been Remus Lupin tall, but he was definitely tall. He also had blonde hair, nearly platinum. Barty was almost in awe of how good it looked on him. He didn't know many people who could pull off platinum.

Silver septum ring with plenty of other piercings on his ears. Each one carrying silver jewelry. Barty couldn't help but think that gold would've suited him better.

“I can see that angel, but I only have enough for one treat right now. You're going to have to choose if you want this or your red rose surprise.”

The girl, Luna, pouted, and Barty wanted to groan. Kids were his weakness.

Sirius looked over at Barty unsure of what to do. Barty only mouthed his response.

“The brownie's on the house.” Sirius gave the customer that charming smile of his as he rested his arms on the counter. This was the real reason Rosmerta kept him around. Always so charming that Sirius Black, no one could resist him. 

“My boss just loves fairies, and she told me that every fairy who visits is supposed to get one treat for free.” 

Luna beamed up at Sirius before turning around to the guy, Evie, and sticking her tongue out before turning back to Sirius.

“I want a red rose surprise.”

“I don't think we have those here.”

Evie let out an exaggerated sigh before he kneeled in front of her. “Imma have to work my magic little moon. Why don't you go pick a seat and enjoy your brownie while I get that red rose surprise.”

Fuck it all to hell, ‘little moon’. Kill him, kill him now. End his existence before he ends up falling in love with a complete and utter stranger.

There was something that needed to be known about Barty.

He found people who were good with kids attractive. And he didn't mean it in a ‘Oh, wow. That's so cute. You're sweet and protective.’ kind of way, but more like, ‘I don't care if it's biologically impossible. I want to have your kids so that I can see you do this for the rest of my life.’ kind of way.

Regulus says he's absolutely mental and this is a result of his daddy issues, while Sirius says that it's perfectly reasonable because it's exactly how he feels about his own boyfriend.

Seeing this super hot guy talk to this little girl like she was the only good thing in the world made his heart race a little. A strangely weird feeling because even though he's felt this way before, it's never gotten this intense.

His friends find the dichotomy between what he's like and what he finds attractive absolutely hilarious, because Barty liked pretty people. He liked sweet looking people who take control of a situation with a smile on their face. A big contrast to Barty who was covered in tattoos, used cheap black box dye, and had a shitty ass personality, or so he was told.

His last boyfriend would disagree, but Sirius refuses to listen to anything James Potter had to say in regards to Barty. Skewed perception was his reasoning. 

“Cute kid, is she your's?” Sirius stood back up and eyed Evie as he stood up, blue eyes following Luna as she sat down at one of the booths.

“My sister's, actually. I’m babysitting today.” 

“Oh, and what, no girlfriend to help you out.”

The guys smiled at Sirius and Barty wanted to roll his eyes. 

Although in a fully committed relationship, Sirius Black was incapable of not flirting with their customers. He's probably the reason why Barty has to deal with so many annoying customers. Charmed by Sirius and insulted by Barty, only at the Three Brews.

“No one at the moment, but Luna’s a good help in getting people interested. Someone's bound to find me worth sticking around for.” He smiled at Sirius and although Barty couldn't see just how lethal it was he could definitely see its effects by just how red Sirius was getting.

It wasn't by much, but no one's been able to get such a reaction from him since he's gotten with Lupin. It wasn't often when Sirius Black could be brought to blush, and if someone ever did manage it, it was a sure fire way to get Barty interested.

Sirius looked over at Barty and Barty took it as his cue to go save his friend from possibly ruining his newly established relationship.

The transition was quick and simple. Barty pulled Sirius back and told him to check on that order Rosmerta had placed for sandwiches for the incoming lunch rush. Sirius barely had time to wish him luck before he was pushed to the back where the phone was.

“Good morning, I'll be serving you since my coworker doesn't know how to keep from drooling when he sees a pretty face.”

And fuck did he have a pretty face. Barty was going to need more than luck to get through this.

“Well, I'm not complaining. One pretty face replaced by another, nothing to be disappointed about.”

Red alert, red alert! This is not a drill! Why the hell is this guy flirting with him?

“Um– what would you like to order? We have plenty of Valentine's Day specials if you're feeling festive, but we do have regular coffee if you aren't looking for anything fancy.”

Barty looked over at the little girl who was carelessly kicking her feet as she broke off a piece of the brownie. He was kinda regretting giving it to her now. He could really use some chocolate to ease the nerves that were eating at him. 

“Do your Valentine's specials have strawberries?”

No, no, don't do this to him. He really didn't want to make anything too difficult. He already had to make three of those today and tomorrow that all he would be doing.

“Some do.”

“Okay, then, do you mind just putting regular milk in a cup, adding some diced strawberries and whipped cream with strawberry syrup on top. It's my niece's birthday today and I always get her one of these, but the last place we went to ran out of strawberries.”

“So, the red rose surprise is just strawberry milk.”

He shrugged a little, “It's what my parents used to do for my sister and I on our birthday. I guess I'm just following the tradition.”

Oh, he was so fucking screwed.

“Yeah, I can make it work, Evie.”

He laughed and Barty could only stare at him as he covered his face in embarrassment. 

“It's Evan actually.”

“Barty.”

“Well, thank you Barty, you just saved my day and made her birthday ten times better. How much would it be?”

And Barty knew the moment he made eye contact, he was done for.

“It's on the house, a gift for the birthday girl, and you if– if you want something?”

“No, I'm good for now, but thanks.”

Evan smiled and Barty swallowed nervously.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

“Yeah, no problem. I'll have your drink ready to go in a moment.”

Evan nodded his head before he turned around and sat next to Luna who was now staring at him with wide eyes and head tilted to the side. As soon as Evan sat down she turned to him and pointed at Barty before gesturing at her cheeks. 

Evan laughed for a moment before looking over in Barty's direction. They made eye contact, Evan winked at him and Barty quickly turned around to get that drink ready.

Strawberry milk, strawberry milk, strawberry milk.

How the hell was he supposed to make strawberry milk?

“Hey Barty, are you okay? Your face is all red.” 

Barty jumped at Sirius' words

“Relax, it's just me.”

“You know how to make strawberry milk right? I mean the pretty kind that you see all over Instagram and shit.”

“Yeah, I used to make it for Reggie. Why?”

“Teach me.”

“What?”

“Teach me how to make your stupid strawberry milk.”

“I can just make you some.”

“No, you have to teach me so I can give it to that little girl and then when Evan sees how good I'm at making strawberry milk he'll have no other choice but to marry me so I can keep making strawberry milk.”

Sirius blinked at him before laughing. 

“Evan? Is he the reason why your face is all red like that?”

Barty wanted to strangle Sirius or drop to the floor and die, preferably both, but not necessarily in that order.

“Fine, I'll teach you how to make it, but first go wash your face. You're as red as a strawberry right now.”

Barty could only hang his head in embarrassment when he saw his reflection on the mirror. Bright red, strawberry red.

Stupid red rose surprise. 

Stupid strawberry milk 

Stupid Barty for falling for some guy named Evan.

tags: @the-person-that-did-that @saiichai

[piracytheorist]

I'm finally re-reading The Hunger Games after nearly ten years and first I gotta say WOW this book has such a great prose and it feels so well written and with such good care in its details and narrative. And second, it just struck me as so important that in Katniss' flashback, the day after Peeta gave her the bread, she saw the dandelion and went out with Prim and gathered dandelions so they could eat with the leftover bread.

And idk I feel like this has a very good balance of "It's okay to accept being saved by someone" and of "You can save yourself" - even though Katniss has a HUGE but understandable denial surrounding her debt* to Peeta for giving her the bread, but that's a character thing and not necessarily a narrative thing. Because thanks to the bread, Katniss and her family got to eat for two days about, but the very gesture was what kickstarted Katniss' willingness to find food herself. First with the dandelions, then with some more gathering, eventually evolving into her hunting and fishing and gathering deep into the woods.

It's like a kind of thing like "You can't love anyone until you love yourself" which here can be switched to "You can't be saved until you want to save yourself" which also has a meaning because, you can physically save someone from a bad situation, but until they've gathered enough strength to start healing mentally, they will still be trapped. Katniss is just lucky she had the strength and resources, although terribly limited, to start getting herself out of desperate, starving poverty, although it's obvious the mental toll it kept having on her over the years.

Idk again I feel like there's a lot of understanding that one SHOULDN'T have the sole responsibility of dragging themselves out of poverty (especially when a tyrannical government has forced them into it), but when presented with an act of kindness and a glimmer of hope, they can be powered on to help themselves. And there's also understanding that though it might be considered noble, it can be terribly traumatizing. There is hope but there is also pain, when you have no choice but to save yourself. And considering how Katniss' trauma just keeps piling on across the trilogy, I doubt it was meant in an effort to glorify it. She's not a symbol, a paragon, a beacon of hope; she's just a traumatized teenage girl who shouldn't have gone through any of that.

*which is also another thing because in Peeta's view, all he did was burn two loaves and receive a beating and a harsh reprimand, something which is safe to assume was something common in his family. So maybe he doesn't see it as such a huge thing he could have done. I haven't finished the book but if I remember right he says later that he should have walked to her to give her the bread instead of throwing it in the rain? But yeah to him it was just one purposeful accident and a punishment for it, but for Katniss and her family it was literally life-saving. So while Katniss thinks so high of that debt, Peeta only thinks he should have done more.

[ghouljams]

I really appreciate you reblogging that post about how difficult it is to quit an addiction. I myself am currently struggling with a sugar/caffeine addiction, and I drink way too much coke cola (and if I can't get my hands on some, energy drinks). It's nice to be reminded that it's not just me who is constantly thinking about how good it would feel to have juuust a little more, even if I said I would stop. I've tried to quit it multiple times, and each failed attempt disheartens me greatly and makes me feel weak willed, even if I rationally know everyone battling an addiction has those moments.

Sugar addictions often aren't treated as seriously as the "scary" drugs or smoking, but it's just as damaging to your health and difficult to quit, especially when the human brain is hardwired to want sugary, fatty foods. I hope one day to be strong enough to resist those cravings and get my health back on track.

You can become addicted to anything that makes you feel good. People are getting addicted to AI chat bots for god's sake, it doesn't even have to be quality stuff as long as it gives you that rush of dopamine it can reel you in. Now, some things are better designed to addict you, drugs and alcohol, sugar and caffeine, but that doesn't mean you aren't still getting that good feeling. Even if you don't get it every time, even if you only get that hit the first time, humans will chase that first high for the rest of their lives. It's the reason people stay in abusive relationships, things will never be as good as they were at the start but there's this silent promise that they might be.

Anyone can become addicted to anything. And I'm not saying that to scare anyone, but more to make the point that no one is above addiction. Addiction is not a moral failing, or a weakness, it's a human survival tactic. We want the thing that makes us feel good, that keeps the loneliness at bay, that stops us from feeling bad things even if they do that by keeping us from feeling anything at all. Our brains want that dopamine shot, even when reasonably we know whatever is giving us that shot is bad for us.

Getting past an addiction is hard no matter what that addiction is. I try to tell people that they need to find something to redirect that craving towards. For one of my loved ones we're working on finding a painting class and a book club because they've realized that a lot of their relapsing comes from feeling lonely. For you, maybe having a chew fidget would help, or keeping fruit on hand, or (if you're like me) purging your house of all sugary snacks. I can't keep sugar in my house or I'll eat it, so I don't buy it. It sucks, I want it, but I know myself and I know that the best way to keep myself from doing something is to try and remove as much temptation as possible.

It's much harder for me to justify leaving my house to go get candy than it is for me to get up and get a chocolate from the pantry. Or if I really want a sweetie, I have to figure out making it myself. Which means I can try and figure out a healthier option to make. Idk it's a long road, and something like sugar/caffeine/alcohol is so ingrained in our society that it feels impossible to avoid.

I have a friend who used heroin (now clean, I'm so proud of her) and she always said the hardest part of recovery was giving a shit about herself. She said there was always going to be part of her that wanted to use, so she had to make the rest of her louder, had to find reasons to care enough not to go back to her old habits. She got a lot of tattoos during her recovery, reconnected with her mom.

Not to say that addicts don't care about themselves, or that you don't care about yourself, I always thought she meant it more in the way of a parent caring for a child. You know, you don't let kids do something just because they want to because you care about keeping them safe. In the same way you sort of have to parent yourself. Say you've got sugar at home even though you don't, promise you'll make yourself donuts and then quit as soon as you get home because you don't want to boil oil. Learn to make croissants and then never make them again because they're such a fucking hassle. idk

You're not weak because you have trouble telling yourself no, people generally have trouble with that. You're just a person trying to listen to your body. It's just too bad your body isn't always a great judge of what's good for it.