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supernatural-bias · 1 year ago

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𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐗-𝐌𝐞𝐧 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐃𝐨𝐞𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐏𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐈𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

↳ includes: charles xavier, erik lehnsherr, logan howlett, marie lebeau, and peter maximoff

↳ warnings: x-man type violence maybe? nothing much

↳ notes: just some self indulgent headcanons about how the gang would deal with someone who hates skin on skin contact. this is based on my own personal experiences, so it might not cater to everyone. charles and erik are written to be more of themselves around the first class era, peter is himself as seen in apocalypse, and marie & logan are more set in the first movie's portrayal of them

↳ song: heavy metal lover—lady gaga

masterlist | commissions | carrd

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐗𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐫 [𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐫 𝐗]

• Oh this is not one bit of a problem for Charles

• He's never needed physical contact to connect with people. Whether that's because of his powers, or his 'natural charm' as he calls it, you aren't sure, but your strange request for no contact never seemed to put him off his friendship with you

• Charles has his own ways of bonding with you, no hugs or handshakes required. Instead of nudges used to alert the other of a particularly funny joke, he'd just send you flashes in your mind regarding the situation. The end result was always the same; with the both of you grinning at each other while the rest of the room was left to make their own assumptions as to what you were thinking about

• "Seriously, it's creepy when they do that. They could be talking about anything." Alex whispered to Hank one day as you and Charles stood across the room from each other, not caring if the Professor was able to hear him or not. The only sign that you were even talking was the occasional huff of laughter Charles would let out as you scrunched your nose up in a toothy grin

• "Oh, I wouldn't say that." Hanks eyes gleam from behind his glasses as he watches the two of his friends. "Charles tells me most of it is just really bad jokes, if you want to know."

• As if on cue, the spell between you and Charles breaks as you delve into a laughing fit, and Alex and Hank can't help but shake their heads at each other in slight amusement as they watch

• He does an excellent job at speaking for you when you can't quite explain to new people why you are the way you are—as long as you'll let him, of course

• Maybe it's because he's been in your head, or just because he knows you so well that he can say exactly what you're thinking before you even know it. And sometimes, he doesn't even need to explain much at all. One carefully worded sentence backed with that steady tone of his is enough to make even the most ignorant of people understand

• "No handshakes for them, please." Charles had found himself saying that sentence more times than he could count since getting to know you, but he never found himself growing tired of it; even when you eventually found the awkward courage to start speaking on your behalf. Especially when you started speaking on your behalf

• Charles is a very patient man, and he couldn't be happier than to wait for you to open up to the world like you had done for him, even if it does take a while

𝐄𝐫𝐢𝐤 𝐋𝐞𝐡𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐫 [𝐌𝐚𝐠𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐨]

• I'm going to be completely honest with you. At first, Erik finds your habit of avoiding touch annoying

• It's a weakness in his eyes that you have every opportunity to avoid acquiring. He doesn't see the point in being afraid of something so miniscule

• When he first meets you, he's probably an asshole about it. Erik doesn't go out of his way to touch you on purpose, but he won't take extra steps to stop himself from doing so. If the back of his hand brushes against yours as he storms away from another one of Charles' annoying lectures? Then so be it. Who cares if you pull back from him like you've been burned, clutching your skin tightly as you glare at his retreating form

• It will take a while for Erik to begin to understand you, much like it does for him to understand a lot of things about the rest of the world. I won't say that he ever officially apologizes for his past behavior toward you, but he definitely drops hints that he does regret it

• "Never thought I'd live to hear the Erik Lehnsherr himself say sorry for something he did. Next you'll be telling me you've always liked humans." Your eyes were wide in faux surprise as you stared at him one day, looking like you had just heard the best news of your life. It was a good thing you and Erik had a much better relationship than when you had first met, otherwise he wouldn't have had a second thought about shutting you up

• "All I said was that maybe I maybe could have been a bit nicer to you." He sighed, already regretting this entire interaction

• "Oh, you're not getting off that easy." You were already scrambling for the door, completely missing the way Erik rolled his eyes and flicked his hand up in preparation. "Charles! Charles, you'll never believe what just happened—"

• He ended up using your belt buckle to drag you across the room before you could embarrass him any further

• Once he's warmed up to you, I'd like to think that he's definitely used the fact that lots of people wear rings and bracelets to his advantage to stop people from touching you at bars or in crowds

• He swears up and down he doesn't get attached to anyone, and especially not someone that associates with the X-Men of all groups, but you've definitely have had a few people look at their hands around you in confusion while he's around. Almost as if someone else had a say in their actions

• "Big softie."

• "You do know I could kill you if I wanted to."

• "I'd like to retract my last statement, please and thank you."

𝐋𝐨𝐠𝐚𝐧 𝐇𝐨𝐰𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭 [𝐖𝐨𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐞]

• Logan doesn't give two shits about your strange request

• Not in the way that he ignores it like Erik, but rather in the way that he literally doesn't give a fuck if you want to be touched or not. He wasn't planning on touching you anyways, so it's not like he really has to think about it

• If anything, Logan is one of the only people who can even begin to understand your mindset. He's never been too fond of people just outright touching him without a warning first, especially if they were strangers, but that's what you get after being experimented on for years

• He'll have to get to both know and like you before he starts taking your words more seriously. Otherwise, all you're getting from him is a gruff noise of disinterest and a roll of his shoulders as he blows past you

• Or ar least that's what he'd like you to think

• "Watch it, pal." You barely had time to process what that noise was next to your ear before Logan was standing dangerously close to you. You were about to ask him to back away before you saw his hand up, and when you looked at his hand you saw it was closed around a strangers wrist; the likes of which was outreached in your direction and just about to make contact with you

• Logans rough tone and sharp glare had sent the fellow stumbling away with an apology, and left you standing there with a bewildered look on your face. It only grew larger when he refused to look at you afterward

• "Don't let it get to your head." Was all he huffed out in your general direction before walking off to continue the mission the both of you were on. Through the com's in your ears, you could hear the rest of the team asking you what was going on, and with a slow upward tick of your lip you finally answered

• "I think Wolverine here has gone a bit soft on my end guys."

• You were given the cold shoulder for the rest of the week by Logan, and every time he glared at you, you couldn't help but try to hold in laughter

• "See, this is why I'm not nice."

• "No no no I take it all back, I swear. You're so mean. You're the meanest, toughest person here, never done a good deed in your life—"

• "Shut the fuck up."

𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐞 𝐋𝐞𝐁𝐞𝐚𝐮 [𝐑𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞]

• She doesn't understand why you'd choose to have people not touch you

• For Marie, not being able to hug someone— to even so much as hold hands with the people she loved —is a curse. She wasn't such a fool to think that her mutation itself was the curse, Charles had managed to drill that thought out of her head a long while ago, but the side-effect that came with it would forever haunt her

• So when she found out that you actively took strides to make sure no one ever touched you (if possible), she was in disbelief

• "I just don't get it." She'd confessed to you out of the blue once. "How can you stand it? If I were you—"

• "But you're not." You cut her off and shrugged, voice devoid of any meanness or annoyance at the turn of conversation. "I get it. I must seem crazy to you. I'd imagine that you'd jump at the chance to be able to touch someone again. But that just isn't me. I can't stand the feeling of being touched. Makes me feel gross; inside and out. I don't ask you to understand it, just that you respect it. Yeah?"

• She had nodded slowly at you, not expecting the sudden explanation. It wasn't unwelcome, however. Quite the contrary. She'd rather understand you than stew in quiet confusion

• From that moment on, even if Marie thinks you're a little crazy in the head, she does her best to make sure that both herself and others take your wishes to heart

• You have to admit, it's nice having her look out for you. And it helps that she's one of the most powerful mutants on campus; one sideways look from her, and she could send anyone in the opposite direction from you if you need

𝐏𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐌𝐚𝐱𝐢𝐦𝐨𝐟𝐟 [𝐐𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐫]

• You're constantly having to remind him that you don't like people touching you

• It's not Peter's fault he forgets sometime. His brain is always going going going from one thing to the next. Thinking about the next mission, the quickest way to get from one end of the country to the other, how to beat that stupid kid at the arcade that keeps leaving him and his high scores in the dust—

• Okay so maybe he could do a bit of a better job of trying to listen

• "Peter, reach for the back of my neck again and I'm gonna break both of your legs." You didn't even have to turn around to know that he was itching to latch onto your neck, most likely to take you on a surprise trip a few states over. Or maybe just to the mall. He was spontaneous like that

• When you did manage to look up from your notebook and back at him, you found that Peter was already a good few feet away from you, holding up his hands with a deceivingly innocent smile; but respecting your wishes all the same

• "You sure you're not a secret nun or something?" He poked fun at the way you refused to let anyone touch you, even going as far to squint at you in an unconvinced manner. You ignored his clear misunderstanding of nuns to snort in amusement

• "No."

• "Could have fooled me, babe."

• He sped away before you had the chance to throw your papers at his head

• Peter's probably the kind of guy to constantly tease you to your face, but the moment you're not in sight and someone's ragging on you, he'll shut them down. He's done it many times to stray students in the hallways of the school who talk just a little too loud about your personal boundaries

• "I'm just saying, man, they're a little weird. The other day, I asked to borrow a pencil, and they threw it at me. While standing less than a foot away. It's just strange—"

• Less than a second later, the student was sent falling to the floor over his shoelaces, which were suspiciously tied together in contrast to moments ago when they had been placed in neat little bows

• The only sign that this hadn't been a freak accident was the telltale burst of wind that sped by the student and their friend, a faint laugh following in its wake

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theliteraryarchitect · 3 months ago

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5 Reasons NOT to Use Multiple Point of View (and What to Do Instead)

I've been meaning to make this post for a long time. As a developmental editor, I see a LOT of manuscripts that use multiple point of view (where each scene or chapter is from the perspective of a different character), when they really should be using a classic single character POV. Over the years, I've come to the conclusion that writers see multiple POV as a solution to problems that really shouldn't be solved that way. Basically, they're using it for the wrong reasons. And when that happens, instead of making the story more awesome, multiple POV can actually weaken it.

Here are five of the most common reasons writers choose multiple POV (and why those reasons might be a problem). Don’t worry—I’ll also share what to do instead.

1. You Don’t Know What Your Story Is About

Sometimes, when writers aren’t 100% clear on their story’s main conflict, theme, or plot, they reach for multiple POV. It feels like a fix—after all, why focus on one perspective when you can try out a little of this and a little of that?

Here’s the thing: multiple POV actually requires you to be more clear about your story, not less. Readers will naturally look for a thread that ties all the perspectives together, and if that thread isn’t there, the story will feel scattered or aimless.

What to Do Instead: Take a step back. If you’re feeling unsure about what your story is really about, try some journaling or outlining. Ask yourself:

What’s the main conflict?

Who’s the central character?

Why am I telling this story?

Often, writers discover they actually have one protagonist, and a limited third or first-person perspective would work better. If you still feel like multiple POV is the right call, go for it! Just be sure to periodically revisit your outline to make sure the story hasn’t “gotten away” from you. (Multiple POV has a sneaky way of doing that.)

2. You Haven’t Developed Your Characters

Multiple POV doesn’t work unless each character is fully developed. Every POV character needs their own voice, journey, and reason for being in the story. If they can’t stand on their own, readers will notice.

What to Do Instead: Before assigning a POV, ask yourself:

Is this character compelling enough to hold the reader’s attention?

Do they add something essential to the story that no one else can?

If the answer is no, it might be better to stick with a single POV. Sometimes less is more.

3. You Can’t Decide on a POV Character

This one is common, especially in early drafts. You’re still figuring out your story, and it’s hard to choose whose perspective should take center stage.

What to Do Instead: Experiment! Write key scenes from different characters’ perspectives. Often, the strongest voice will make itself known as you go. And remember: just because you write a draft with multiple POV doesn’t mean you can’t narrow it down later.

4. You Need to Share Information Your POV Character Doesn’t Have

Ah, the classic "But how do I show this thing the protagonist doesn’t know?" dilemma. This is probably the most common reason I see writers reach for multiple POV. It’s tempting to throw in a chapter or two from another character’s perspective just to share that extra bit of information.

The problem? Those chapters often feel disconnected from the rest of the story. Every POV character needs to carry their weight, and dropping in a random narrator just for convenience can leave readers feeling unsatisfied.

What to Do Instead: There are other ways to get information across. Here are a few ideas:

Educated Guesses: Let your main character speculate. (“Iris kept tapping her pencil on the desk. Was she nervous about the meeting earlier?”)

Show, Don’t Tell: Use actions, dialogue, or other clues to reveal what another character might be thinking.

Bring in a New Element: Introduce a third character, a conflict, or even an object that reveals something important.

Overhearing or Spying: Yes, it’s a little cliché, but when used sparingly, it can work in a pinch.

5. You’re Looking for an Easy Way Out

Let’s be honest: multiple POV can feel like a catch-all solution to tough storytelling problems. Need to fix pacing? Add another POV! Can’t figure out how to make the ending work? Add another POV!

But here’s the truth: multiple POV is actually harder than other POVs. You’re not just developing one character—you’re developing several, and you have to tie all their perspectives into a cohesive whole.

What to Do Instead: Focus on nailing the story with a single POV first. Once you’re confident the core of the story is solid, you can decide if adding other perspectives will truly enhance it.

In Summary

Multiple POV is a powerful tool, but it’s not a shortcut. It requires careful planning and strong execution. If you’re considering it, ask yourself:

Does every POV character bring something unique to the story?

Am I clear on the main conflict and theme?

Could this story be told just as well (or better) with a single POV?

Sometimes, the simplest route is the best one.

Hope this helps!

/ / / / / / / / / / /

@theliteraryarchitect is a writing advice blog run by me, Bucket Siler, a writer and developmental editor. For more writing help, download my Free Resource Library for Fiction Writers, join my email list, or check out my book The Complete Guide to Self-Editing for Fiction Writers.

#writeblr #writing advice #writers on tumblr #editing #writing tips #fiction #nanowrimo #point of view #multiple point of view #op

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ikeuverse · 1 year ago

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you're my problem | lhs

pairing: heeseung x fem!reader genres: angst, fluff, humor, suggestive wc: 11.6k+

꒰ 𝅄 warnings ꒱ : swearing, arguing, cheating, divorce, mention of drinking. slightly smut in that there is a section (albeit brief) describing almost – very almost – sex.

꒰ 𝅄 synopsis ꒱ : for some people, it was a problem working as a nanny because of the fatigue and effort it required. but you loved looking after hajun. the only problem was his older brother, heeseung.

꒰ 𝅄 notes ꒱ : idk what's going on, but heeseung's been on my mind a lot these days. 2nd plot in less than two weeks and he's the owner of everything! at first this was going to have a smut, but i felt it would be too long and idk if it turned out that well, so maybe it could happen in a second part that isn't even final. but that's it for now, i hope you like it!

꒰ 𝅄 masterlist ꒱

"What's your problem?" that intonation was already typical when directed at you, but it still never failed to send a chill down your spine.

Sighing, you got up from the living room floor and smiled at the little boy in front of you, trying not to focus your gaze on the man next to the sofa.

"Can't you do your job properly for once?" he said to you again as he followed you into the downstairs bathroom, and you tried to ignore him as much as possible to put the first aid kit away in the drawer and leave the room. But he blocked the door.

"Can you come out, please? I want to go through" you asked, looking at him for the first time.

"I asked you what your fucking problem is" he leaned over and gritted his teeth, now he could cuss since he wasn't next to his younger brother.

"And I asked you to leave" you leaned in too, almost touching the tip of your nose to his chin because of the height difference. This caught the man completely off guard and he took a few steps back, clearing the way for you to leave the bathroom and walk into the living room.

It wasn't a horrible accident, you weren't a terrible babysitter for nine-year-old Hajun. But his older brother, Heeseung, had been a pain in the ass ever since you first set foot in the Lee house.

And it wasn't as if you'd done anything because Mrs. Lee always praised your work highly and you even did a few extra periods just to play with Hajun or stay with him when there were family problems. These, more often than not, were your suspicions as to why the Lee family had hired a nanny for their youngest, and also why Heeseung seemed so down on life. Especially with you.

It was typical for him to make some sarcastic comment, and roll his eyes when you excitedly answered something his mother had asked. Or even mutter a swear word when Hajun chooses to go out with you instead of his own brother. Jealous? Or that intensified the anger Heeseung felt even more, you just didn't want it to be directed completely at you. In your mind, Heeseung was already like that because of something that happened in the family – and you'd always been curious to ask, you just didn't have the courage – so, because you were the only person who was easy to get along with apart from his mother and younger brother, the boy only had you to put it all out there.

You weren't such a bad listener, you could call Heeseung to sit down after your babysitting shift and tell him everything that was bothering you. Why he was so angry and, most importantly, why did he seem to hate you? Your memory tried to capture a moment when you could have given him a curt reply, a grimace or simply been rude, but no.

As soon as you arrived and introduced yourself as Hajun's new nanny, Heeseung just rolled his eyes and left the room.

"Don't worry about him, Y/n" Mrs. Lee smiled lovingly at you "Heeseung is going through a difficult process, I think he'll get better soon. He's sweet."

You hoped he would be. And you waited for months to see that Heeseung was still the same... Maybe his process would take forever and you would have been chosen to be his punching bag.

But one day it would get tiresome. Surely you knew that you would respond in full, even if you were afraid of losing your job because he might be able to get his mother's head around firing you.

Back in the living room, you smiled at Hajun when you saw the little boy smile at you too. Your gaze completely ignored Heeseung sitting in the armchair next to his brother.

"Come on Y/n, I was telling Seungie how I fell in the park earlier" the little boy had no idea what had happened minutes ago between you and Heeseung, and you preferred it that way. Your priority was always to protect Hajun and be with him.

You sat down next to him, feeling Hajun's small hands wrap around yours.

"So I went to play ball with some boys, but Y/n told me not to go barefoot because it could be dangerous for me" Hajun formed a pout on his lips as he looked away from Heeseung to his bruised knee, now completely clean and bandaged "And I didn't listen" Hajun looked at you now, showing his newly grown teeth "Do you forgive me, Y/n?"

"Oh, of course" you hugged him as he laid his head on your shoulder.

Heeseung huffed from the other side of the sofa, running his hand through his hair impatiently.

"Anyway, do your job properly next time" he got up and left the room, leaving you with Hajun as he climbed the stairs with his feet tapping.

You felt the younger man move beside you, looking into your eyes while still smiling. Hajun was an amazing child and you felt your heart sink every time you thought that, if it wasn't for you, he might be alone in this house.

Not completely alone, Heeseung worked in his room a few days a week and Hajun could ask his brother for help with anything, as he was extremely protective of the youngest. But if it wasn't for you, the little one wouldn't do his homework. He couldn't go out to the park in the next block, let alone go to the movies in the late afternoon because he was too bored to do anything indoors.

Thanks to you, Hajun had company every day. And that was the thought you had when Mrs. Lee hired you to keep him company.

"Ignore him" Hajun's voice brought you out of your thoughts and back to the reality you were in at that very moment. The little boy was already standing in the middle of the room "Heeseung is a pain in the ass when he wants to be."

"Hey, watch your mouth, young man" you laughed when he grimaced.

"Seriously, after—" Hajun sighed, looking at you "Never mind."

"You know you can tell me whenever you want, right?" you stood up too, walking over to him to ruffle the younger man's dark hair.

Hajun nodded, smiling at you and asking you to make him a brownie. Because he deserved it and he was hurting. This made you laugh because, although the mood changed drastically in that house, you knew that he always tried to take everything in good humor.

Hajun's slip in the previous few minutes only made you even more certain that something was going on, and your heart squeezed to see that he was aware of the problems within his own house even at his young age. So, more than ever, your determination to take care of him spoke louder. Because Hajun was your priority in that house. And that would always be the case.

With your head in your hands, you felt like screaming as you stared at the computer in front of you. Life as a university student was complete shit, even more so when you were forced to start a project and didn't even know where to begin.

Your two best friends were sitting right in front of you with their projects very well developed, but it was as if only your head was short-circuiting because nothing was good enough.

"You're going to tear your hair out soon" Jake leaned over the table to pull one of your hands away from your face, taking his attention away from his project.

"Can I rip my head off?" you almost cried as you looked at him, both of you looking away to Ryunjin sitting next to you.

"Why are you like this?" she asked.

"Is it because of the project?" Jake was already sitting properly in his seat, his eyes still on you and Ryunjin too. You nodded in agreement, swallowing dryly when the girl sighed.

"Or is it for someone else?" Ryunjin emphasized the question when she looked at you.

The table was now a little chaotic with Ryunjin peeking out with a smile on her lips, you trying to wiggle out of it and Jake looking between the two friends like a lost puppy.

"What the fuck is going on? Because I think I've lost something" the boy finally said.

"Heeseung, again" Ryunjin answered for you "He's still being an asshole to Y/n. Hasn't your little friend said anything worthwhile to let us know what happened?"

Jake opened and closed his mouth to answer but to no avail. He was a friend of Heeseung's, fortunately, or unfortunately, the boy went to the same university as you. Being Jake's friend, he once let slip that his mother was looking for someone to look after Hajun. And since you needed money... you could just combine the useful with the pleasant.

But your friend seemed to be as lost as you were, or at least he pretended very well. As one of Heeseung's best friends, it would be difficult for him to tell you if something was going on that could involve you. But he was also your best friend. This standoff with Jake could leave you confused and feeling bad on both sides, which is why you never pressured him to tell you anything.

"He's just having some problems" Jake tried to be vague on the subject.

"He's the problem, Jake" you closed your computer, giving up on working on a project you knew would come to nothing. Your head was full – unfortunately of annoyance about Heeseung – and nothing could make you concentrate on the moment "He was really rude to me last time, you know?"

He knew.

He listened to Heeseung swear for ten minutes about how you could let Hajun get hurt. Then he let his friend cool off and tried to argue that it wasn't your fault. Heeseung understood and even pondered whether he had been too hard on you.

"I... No, what did he do?" Jake nibbled his lower lip to suppress a sigh as he began to listen to everything he had to say.

From his perspective it wasn't your fault, Heeseung was too hard on you and anything you did. Sometimes Jake felt like telling you everything, telling you how many times he'd lost count by cursing Heeseung for his behavior. Or wanting to punch him just because his friend took out his frustrations on the wrong things.

"You need to talk to him to stop being like that with Y/n" Ryunjin caught Jake's eye, making him look at her "Or I'll shove some architectural material up his ass. Name one."

"A piece of concrete?" Jake frowned. He had no idea which materials were architectural, Heeseung did that course, not him. Jake was a computer scientist, just like Ryunjin.

She smiled with satisfaction at the answer and then looked at you.

"Now don't think about him and focus on your project, my love" Ryunjin reached out to touch your hand gently "I bet your designers are going to be amazing."

"We can't wait to see it" Jake also celebrated, taking your other hand and running his thumb over the back of it in affectionate contact.

Even with all the stuff going on in your life, the daily stress of dealing with the older brother of the little boy you were looking after, being in the presence of your friends seemed to cure everything and then some. Even though Jake was Heeseung's friend, that didn't change the way your friend treated you or how much he wanted to see you well.

Ever since these disagreements between you and Heeseung started happening, Jake made it clear to both parties that he didn't want to be a part of it. Ryunjin even complained once that she would be part of it and still defend you, but no one listened – thankfully.

After some time exchanging glances with your friends and smiling, you decided to focus on your project because, even if time was in your favor and the deadline was a month away, being prepared and ahead of schedule was your motto.

Taking advantage of a few vacant classes at college was perfect for going to a remote table on campus and working on whatever it was. These get-togethers with your friends were what got you out of stressful and bad times, even if you saw them on some weekends or in some classes. Just sitting there, chatting away regardless of the subject, made you feel a little better.

"Jake, dude, I finally found you" the voice took you away from your more peaceful thoughts and gratitude for your friends to focus forward. The boy whose name had been called stared after you with soft eyes, but as soon as he noticed your gaze on him, Jake's eyes widened slightly "Are you studying?"

Heeseung's voice was unmistakable to you. And at that moment you wanted to dig a hole and hide, or run out of there just so you wouldn't have the pleasure of bumping into the boy at his study table.

"Tidying up projects" Jake hissed, squeezing Ryunjin's leg under the table when he felt his friend move in her place. Her gaze was locked on Heeseung so angrily, yet the boy didn't notice, too distressed to find Jake.

"Can I join you here?" he asked "I need to finish some university homework and then we need to meet Jay for a game of basketball."

"Sure" Jake gave a small smile and beckoned Heeseung to sit down.

No. Not. Jake and Ryunjin were sitting next to each other, so the only vacant seat was right next to you.

Heeseung sat down without looking in their direction. He smiled at Ryunjin as a silent greeting, but she took it in her stride and ended up nodding at him politely after looking at you at the same moment Heeseung did.

The boy's eyes could come out of their orbs if it were possible, the way he opened them. Fidgeting uncomfortably on the bench next to you, he was in a bit of shock, even looking a little vulnerable given the circumstances that Heeseung always looked fierce when he was around you at his house.

"Y/n?" he asked, afraid that you were real.

"Hey" you said quietly.

He didn't know what to say, how could he forget that Jake was always with you on campus if you weren't with him? Why didn't Heeseung check out the people at that table before he sat down?

There were so many questions circling his mind that, as the boy saw you ignore him to open the computer and focus on your study, maybe he should do the same.

Focusing on his university homework while he waited for Jake to finish his project and then meet his other friends was what he had to do. All Heeseung had to do was answer a few questions that the teacher had given him in class and hope that his friend would finish as quickly as possible.

"Heeseung" Ryunjin called out after a while, her gaze flicking between him and you. You both looked very uncomfortable next to each other and it was so clear. Even more so after he arrived and didn't greet you properly, it wouldn't go unnoticed by your best friend.

"Hey, Ryunjin" he tried to smile amiably, almost feeling a shiver run down his spine when she leaned over the table, resting her elbows on the stone. She smiled strangely; he had seen it before when the girl was sarcastic or about to fight with someone. Was she going to fight with him?

"Is there concrete in your course building?" she asked.

Heeseung frowned in complete confusion. That question had no basis in fact, but at least she wasn't angry with him, so he could relax a little and not feel any more chills as the girl still stared at him.

"We have several, will you need them?"

"Yes" she said.

"Sure, but what for?" when Heeseung asked and Ryunjin was about to answer, you quickly closed your computer. Praying that everything was intact even with the small bang.

This startled the three at the table – even you – so you got up and grabbed your backpack.

"I remembered that I need to go with Ryunjin to the library, now" your emphasis was a complete answer to the fact that your friend would have to follow you. Jake was grateful that she obeyed, even if it was against her will, putting her things away as she picked up the backpack to leave.

"Why did she want concrete?" Heeseung looked at Jake after you and Ryunjin left, laughing quietly and focusing on the questions he needed to answer, missing his friend's gaze, which was a little shocked.

"I have no idea" Jake lied.

Or omitted, exactly. Heeseung didn't need to know the intentions of the girl who had ranted at him minutes before he arrived at the table.

Of all the things Heeseung wanted to put out of his mind, one was to know exactly where to find the person who had hurt him the most. Who broke up the perfect family he thought he had.

Heeseung wanted to be able not to remember the bar his father frequented, but here he was. Across the street watching the large glass windows, and inside the establishment, people were drinking and celebrating something.

He was drinking too. He was already on his third bottle and brought the glass up to his lips to finish off the bitter liquid which, at this point, no longer had any effect. Heeseung was focused on the male figure who was laughing and raising his glass of alcohol to talk to some other men. So this was how his father looked every Thursday night before going home. That's how Heeseung followed him one night, tired of seeing his father come home late only to catch him drinking in that damn bar, with a woman sitting on his lap who must have been Heeseung's age.

His father didn't see him he didn't want to cause a fuss and make his mother even more worried because, frankly, Heeseung was on the other side of town and late at night. But he couldn't hide it when he got home and told his mother. She was an amazing woman and didn't deserve the kind of thing that was happening right behind his back and that of the whole family.

Heeseung didn't know that he could feel as strongly repulsed by someone as he did by the man who, at that moment, staggered out of the bar with another woman hanging around his neck.

He felt nauseous, wanting to throw up the beers he had bought while his eyes stung and blurred. But the figure of the man on the other side who was dialing something on his cell phone was clear, waiting for the app car together with another woman. She was different from the woman Heeseung first caught him with, so his father was with a different one every time. That was even more disgusting.

"Let's go to my apartment, baby" he laughed out loud as soon as the car arrived, letting the woman get in first and him follow behind. Leaving Heeseung's sight as the car pulled away.

"Fucker" Heeseung kicked the glass bottle against the sidewalk to break it instantly.

The tears were already rolling freely down his face and he didn't care that he was crying, he'd held it in for so long since the last two days. He stayed in his room so that he could cry in peace without his mother or Hajun noticing. He didn't want to worry them because he was now the oldest male figure there. While his mother worked all the time at the company, Heeseung needed to be there for Hajun even if you were with him.

His thoughts were soon interrupted by the sound of Heeseung's cell phone, startling him briefly as he picked it up to see who was calling. His mother.

Involuntarily, a sad smile formed amidst the tears and he didn't think twice about answering the call.

"Hi son, where are you?" she asked on the other end of the line.

"I came for a walk" he struggled to keep his voice from sounding so sad and tearful, clearing his throat as he sniffled "Is everything all right? Do you need anything?"

"Everything's fine, don't worry" she laughed, making Heeseung laugh too. That laugh that he missed, knowing that it was slowly coming back "It's just that a great opportunity has arisen to close a deal with another partner in the company and I'm going to have to travel to the neighboring city for a week."

"And Hajun?" he asked.

"I've just spoken to Y/n, she's going to sleep at home" his mother just passed on the information, showing that the decision had already been made. And even if it wasn't, Heeseung couldn't do much since he knew that his younger brother needed the nanny's care. He couldn't be available to look after Hajun.

"All right" he said afterward, "I'm coming home."

"Okay, my son. Come back carefully, okay?" she seemed to be smiling as she spoke, which warmed Heeseung's heart "Be a good boy with the two of them at home, please."

"I will" he replied "Bye mom, I love you."

"I love you more, my boy" and saying that, she hung up.

Heeseung felt less bad about his mother's call, but he still couldn't forget the scene he had seen a few minutes ago. He knew that his mother was moving on and accepting the divorce as best she could, but Heeseung couldn't forgive the betrayal. The way his father had acted in the face of everything. He hadn't spoken to the man since he found out, choosing to ignore his calls and messages and telling his mother not to go to the university. Heeseung didn't want to see him. He'd rather pretend he'd never met or lived with a lying father than have to say anything to the man.

Maybe he needed to go home like he said he would. His head was already beginning to buzz with disparaging and angry thoughts, which he wanted to get rid of quickly.

A hot bath and a video game were all Heeseung needed at the moment to feel cleansed of everything he had witnessed that day. Not that it had been much, but he hadn't come home from university. He hadn't arrived at the same time as Hajun from school so that he could have lunch with him. Heeseung wandered around every familiar corner until he stopped at an app car and went straight to that damn bar. Now it was time to get another app car and go home.

Heeseung felt angry with himself for letting anger take over every fiber of his body, while he could do the same as his mother. Or even Hajun, who was already asking less about the man daily. Perhaps the younger brother wouldn't even remember his father if he wasn't mentioned, and the elder wanted it that way. He wanted his brother not to have the proximity he had to see how disgusting and untruthful the man who once lived with them was.

"Thank you" Heeseung thanked the driver as soon as he pulled up in front of his house, getting out of the car and waving quickly.

He took slow steps to the front door to see that everything was dark, you had probably already put Hajun to bed and that would be a relief. The two of you would be asleep and you wouldn't see the deplorable state that Heeseung had arrived home in.

In as much silence as he could manage, he unlocked the door and opened it, then locked it and looked around. Absolute silence inside the house. It brought Heeseung a little peace to think that the motherfucker he had seen earlier would never set foot in his house again.

He took off his shoes and the jacket he was wearing, throwing the garment on the sofa and feeling his body begin to tire. His throat was dry from the beers and from crying, his eyes would surely swell up because of it and Heeseung always forgot that fact. It was a pain. So maybe a little water would at least save his throat; he'd deal with his morning appearance later.

Heeseung walked to the kitchen only to feel a scream escape his mouth as the fridge door slammed shut.

"Fuck" he put his hand over his chest as he looked at your equally frightened figure. You had also let out a little scream, but he only heard his own because his ears were ringing "Why is everything out?" he asked when he saw you moving away from the fridge.

"I thought you'd already arrived, I didn't want to disturb you" you held up the bottle of juice, probably something you'd drink while you were there until you fell asleep.

Heeseung just nodded and walked over to the light switch, squeezing his eyes shut along with you when the brightness hit. It didn't take long to get used to it before he looked at you, swallowing dryly as you looked back at him.

"Is everything okay?" you asked. Heeseung was going to ask why but forgot that his eyes and the tip of his nose were probably red because he had been crying.

Shit. Continuing with the light off could have been better.

"I don't want to talk about it" he replied immediately, his nervous tone returning as Heeseung looked away from you.

"Heeseung—"

"You're here to look after Hajun, right?" turning to look at you, Heeseung felt his eyes misting up again. He didn't know why he felt like crying while standing in front of you, one of the only people he didn't want to show himself vulnerable to apart from his younger brother and his mother "So why don't you do your job, and stop asking questions?"

For a split second, Heeseung saw your shoulders slump, the bottle of juice resting on the sink and your lips parting to say something. He blinked a few times to keep the tears from falling.

"What's your problem?" you finally said to him, your chest aching and your heart beating fast from nervousness "I have no idea what's happened to you" with each word, you took a tiny step towards him because Heeseung was blocking the passage from the kitchen worktop to the main door to leave the room. You had no choice but to approach him "But don't take your frustrations out on me!" you wanted to shout the last sentence, but out of respect for Hajun and for him being asleep, all you did was poke his chest a little harder. Pushing your index finger in there.

Heeseung closed his eyes as he felt your finger pushing him, but before you could push him away, he grabbed your hand.

Your eyes widened at him because that was the first touch the two of you had shared since you started working at the Lee family home. His fingers were warm against your wrist and you wanted to struggle to get out of his grip, but without a doubt, Heeseung was stronger and faster. Pulling your body against his and wrapping his other arm around your waist.

It would be foolish to ask what or why, and even more foolish to try to get out of there because with every reluctant movement you made, he pulled your body even tighter against him. He tilted his face towards you, lowering it enough to touch his forehead to yours, and you took the opportunity to lean in and meet his lips halfway.

The touch of Heeseung's lips was soft, his tongue pressing against your bottom lip was electrifying and when he wrapped the muscle around yours, you could taste the lingering taste of beer in his mouth. It wasn't as if you'd never drunk before, but feeling the alcohol in someone else's mouth, Heeseung's had made your whole body shiver.

He pulled your body closer until his big hands and firm fingers pressed your waist to your butt. Giving small touches to your thigh, he wanted to signal you to jump into his lap, and without disobeying you did so, already knowing that your butt would be in contact with the cold marble countertop in the kitchen.

Your legs wrapped around Heeseung's waist and body to pull him closer while you lost yourself in his lips. It would be a lie to say that he didn't notice every detail of your face, and you would also be a hypocrite to say that you didn't look at him a little more closely when he wasn't looking at you. But feeling the softness of those lips that were always frowning in your direction was wonderful.

Heeseung lowered his lips to your chin and kissed down to your jaw, then down to your neck, and like a damn pro, he hit exactly the spot that made your whole body shudder. Your reaction couldn't have been different, letting out a sly moan and clamping your legs even tighter around him. When Heeseung's body tightened between your legs, he instinctively moved his hips towards your, thrusting his hips to give your better friction between his legs.

Your fingers tangled in his hair, tugging at each strand while your mouth worked wonders on his skin down to his collarbone.

He moved his hips again, this time you could feel Heeseung's semi-hard cock pressing against your pajama-clad pussy. Moaning once more, you tugged on his hair as he lifted his head to kiss you again.

It was breathtaking how he felt between your legs, taken by your lips and touching your body with his fingertips. Your waist was perfect, fitting exactly between his palms as he pressed you even tighter against him. It was Heeseung's turn to moan against your lips when you planted your feet on his lower back to press Heeseung's hips even tighter against yours, nibbling on his lower lip to catch your breath.

"Y/n" he moaned your name and you almost whimpered and asked him to rip off all your clothes and fuck you right there. Heeseung would do it for sure, you wouldn't even think of denying it because of the way he was squeezing every curve of your body and chasing his lips to kiss you again.

If it hadn't been for the incessant crying upstairs. The two of you separated for a few seconds to see if you had heard the same thing. Heeseung's eyes traveled to yours and then to the kitchen door, hearing Hajun's crying again.

With great difficulty, he climbed out from between your legs, feeling the loss of contact grow cold between his fingers as he took a few steps back and took your hand to help you down from the worktop. Heeseung looked at you a little better this time. Lips reddened and the skin on your neck the same, a few bite marks he'd left while kissing there made him smile a little sideways as he saw your eyes go down to his cock.

"Oh" Heeseung threw his oversized blouse over it, even though it only covered half of his lower body, but he couldn't stop it.

You'd even tease him about how beautiful he looked with his hair messed up – by you – and his red mouth too inviting to keep kissing. But Hajun had called your name, taking you away from all the unholy thoughts you were having in the kitchen with Heeseung.

"Shit" you turned away from Heeseung and watched him throw his head back, as frustrated as you were to get it over with as the two of you ran to the top of the stairs. Climbing each step a little faster until you entered Hajun's room and were followed by his older brother "Hey, I'm here."

"I had a bad dream, Y/n" he was crying, hugging your body quickly as soon as you sat on the edge of the bed.

You kissed the top of Hajun's head and looked at the door, beckoning Heeseung to come in too. And so he did.

"Hey buddy, are you okay?" Heeseung knelt beside the bed where you were sitting with Hajun.

"Seungie" the younger man pulled out of your embrace, this time choosing to hug his brother, "I had a bad dream."

"Do you want to tell us what it was like?" Heeseung asked.

Hajun remained quiet for a while still hugging Heeseung, probably calming down from the fright he'd had as he got out of his brother's arms and lay back on the bed. You dried the stubborn tears from his face with such a gentle touch, that it made Heeseung wonder if you would have done the same for him if you had seen him cry earlier.

What kind of fucking thought is that, Heeseung? He pushed any thoughts of this aside and focused on the scene in front of him, seeing that Hajun looked a little calmer as he sighed.

"I dreamt about my father" the mention of the man, made Heeseung's jaw clenched, and he wanted to curse himself so much for seeing that your eyes were on him now. Surely this could come up as a topic of conversation or, worse, now you could find out about his father. And that was a subject Heeseung didn't want anyone to know about.

"And do you remember what it was like?" you asked.

"Never mind, Hajun's tired—"

"He fought with me in the dream" Hajun interrupted Heeseung who was already on his feet, he didn't want to pace around while listening to his brother's dream "And then I saw him beating up Seungie and leaving the house with my favorite teddy bear."

Before Hajun could cry again, you grabbed one of his hands and kissed it.

"It was just a dream, it won't happen, Junie" trying to reassure the little boy that it would never happen was easier than you thought. He smiled at you.

"Promise you won't let it happen? That you'll look after me, but Heeseung too?"

Hajun's eyes were so pleading and piteous. You wondered if Heeseung did the same thing when he wanted something. But also, you wondered why that had been said. Why had Hajun asked you to do that kind of thing?

Your lack of words made Heeseung restless, moving from side to side until he went to the bedroom door. Perhaps you had been clear in your attitude that you were only there to look after Hajun. He just didn't know why it was bothering him so much, leaving a slight tightness in his chest. It could be because of his brother's dream, of course! That was it, wasn't it? Or was it his lack of an answer?

Heeseung didn't want to think too much, he didn't want to let anything get to him. But he was completely wrong when standing in the doorway of Hajun's room, he heard you.

"I promise, Junie."

If before it was inevitable not to look at you while you were around, now it seemed impossible for Heeseung to look away from you. Even having to spend a whole week with just you, him, and Hajun.

The boy had the vivid memory of your lips against him in that kitchen every time he saw you say something. Your mouth moved to answer something his younger brother or talk on the phone to his mother because she called and wanted to know if everything was okay. Heeseung wanted to curse himself for remembering the sounds you made and how he felt when he got between your legs. It might have sounded pathetic to any guy who said it out loud, especially if it was about you.

He'd certainly heard half an hour of Jake's lecture about what had happened, especially as he didn't dare to say much afterward.

"She thinks I'm an idiot, then?" Heeseung asked.

"More than usual? Absolutely" Jake wanted to throw anything in his hand at his friend's head, especially after he saw the gleam in Heeseung's eye when he talked about you.

It was clear that all that denial was turning into attraction and Sim knew it would, he didn't read the silly novels that Ryunjin pushed at him for nothing, something would have to do and sure enough, it was the analysis he'd done on your – unofficial – relationship with Heeseung. Something he kept quiet until his older friend opened his mouth and told him everything.

At first, the kiss had been something that had shocked Jake, after all, Heeseung couldn't spend two seconds next to you without an argument breaking out. But as he went on to tell you about the events and how he had been acting around you during that week, something in Jake clicked. It wasn't necessarily a crush, but something in Heeseung about finding you attractive or starting to take a romantic interest in you.

"That's got to be a joke, doesn't it?" Heeseung turned to Jake and then looked at Sunghoon, another friend of the two of them who always listened to the lamentations and frustrations about how Heeseung had argued – again – with you.

"Firstly, you didn't deny it at any point when Jake talked about you being attracted to Y/n ever since we arrived" Sunghoon leaned back even further in the café chair, holding back a smile when he saw his friend's eyes go wide "Secondly, you kissed her, like, do you do that with someone you can't stand?"

Heeseung wanted to say yes, that was exactly it. It would be normal to kiss someone he can't stand, right? But the question would be... Why can't he stand himself?

After keeping quiet for a while, he tried to forget how right his friends were because he didn't want to dwell on something he was struggling to forget, especially since his mother's week away was over and that meant you'd be going back home. No more seeing you at home all the time, at least not alone. This would give him time to think more calmly and put all his thoughts in order, which could make him even more confused if it were possible.

Sighing heavily after returning from university, Heeseung just wanted to throw himself on his bed and forget about all that mental confusion for the next few days. Isolate himself, do his homework, and pretend you weren't downstairs in his house. Maybe that would be easy. Maybe he could ignore it a little and try not to run around looking like an idiot in front of you because he's had a whole week, uninterrupted, to say a single word to you. But no, Heeseung couldn't.

At least he said good morning and smiled at you every day while you were with Hajun, right? You shouldn't smile back, you shouldn't make him almost scream internally because you were being nice to him.

Shit, Heeseung. You sound like a teenager, you idiot. He might even have continued talking in his head if it hadn't been for the voices coming from the living room.

Heeseung didn't want to think that he had arrived at his house after you and that he would see the scene of you fooling around with Hajun. He tried to run as far as he could when Jake gave him a lift so he wouldn't have to wait for you to get home and have lunch with you. At least not that day. But to the boy's surprise, the voices were much more different than his own.

And he knew – unfortunately – who it was.

"Look, you're here" in the old days, Heeseung would have given anything to hear that voice cheerfully after coming home from school, perhaps if he were in eighth grade again. But coming home from university with a sick feeling in his stomach, he just wanted to throw up as he looked at his father.

"Son" his mother got up from the sofa where she was, not so close to his father, and they both seemed to be having an amicable conversation before Heeseung arrived.

"What are you doing here?" he asked directly to the man who was trying to smile in his direction.

"Your father called me yesterday, he misses you and Hajun" his mother had the sweetest voice of all, and on any occasion. Heeseung wanted to ask her how she was feeling in the presence of that man. It was impossible to have such a beautiful smile and calm voice after everything he had done.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" he knew that his pent-up anger would come out somehow, he just didn't want to explode in front of his mother. At least Hajun wasn't there.

"I asked your mother to spend a weekend with you and Hajun" he took a step forward to try to get closer to Heeseung. The boy did the same, mustering the only ounce of sanity he had not to slam his fist into the man's face. Unfortunately, it was still his father.

"I won't, and you won't get Hajun out of this house."

"Heeseung" his mother called out.

"What's your problem, Mom? Really?" Heeseung turned away from his father and walked to the middle of the room to approach his mother. It was almost like a plea when he let out, "After everything he's done, you still have the nerve to let him in and allow this? No!"

"He's still your father, my son" she smiled weakly "And it's only a weekend..."

"No" he said.

The protests could continue, Heeseung knew that this discussion would be so long that they would spend hours in that room. They shouted and protested that they wouldn't leave, but the door opened quickly.

Hajun's hurried footsteps and the conversation he was having with you were the reason the three of them shut up immediately.

"I can't do without this ice cream, Y/n. Please" Hajun whined. When you laughed, it was the only thing that could make Heeseung relax his shoulders, even if he didn't want to admit it. The sound of your laughter so close up awakened something in him.

"We can go to the other side of town after you've done your homework" you said, making the little boy giggle. Okay, maybe you were right, but he'd still convince you to go across town to the best ice cream parlor you and he had visited last week.

"Dad?" Hajun was the first to enter the room, looking at the scene before him. Upon hearing this, you took a few more hurried steps behind the little boy to be equally shocked by what you were seeing.

The father of the Lee family was there, for the first time since you started babysitting Hajun. Mrs. Lee had a small smile when she saw the little boy go towards her to hug him affectionately. But what caught your eye was Heeseung's furious look. That look you knew because it was the only thing you saw all that time, except when he looked at Hajun or his mother.

So Heeseung was angry at his father, the man who was smiling at you at that moment.

"Hello, you're..." he tried to make conversation when he saw that no one would say anything.

"Oh, I'm Y/n, Hajun's nanny" you approached to greet the smiling man, smiling too. But as soon as your hand almost touched him, a strong tug on your wrist made you stagger backward.

Your eyes quickly searched for the reason to find Heeseung already looking at you.

"Come up with Hajun, please" he ordered.

"Heeseung..."

"Not now, just go up with him" he whispered when he saw that Hajun was engaged in an awkward conversation with his father and mother "And stay there as long as you can."

"Are you okay?" Heeseung didn't want to have another clash of feelings at that moment, especially with your gaze so intensely on him. So he just nodded quickly and looked away to the other three.

"Junie, go upstairs with Y/n. I heard you need to do your homework..."

"But I wanted to meet the babysitter and, well, spend some time with your brother" the older man seemed quite nice, but if that was the reason Heeseung was clenching his hands into fists, it was certainly a false front.

"Hajun, go with Y/n" was the older brother's final word, and from the way the little boy didn't even question it, you knew it was something much more delicate.

As a silent apology, Mrs. Lee waved to you and Hajun before going upstairs to the youngest's room.

"Do you want to take a shower before you start your homework?" you asked, going to his closet to get some clothes that were more comfortable than his school uniform.

Searching for some sweat shorts and a T-shirt, you turned towards him to see Hajun's eyes redden and shine. Running up to the little one, you knelt in front of him before feeling little arms encircling your neck.

"Hey, hey, hey... Are you okay?" you whispered as you hugged him, sitting down on the floor to welcome the little one into a tight embrace.

"I don't like it, Y/n... I don't like it."

"What? What don't you like?" as you asked, your hands went straight to the little one's hair to stroke it as you let him cry in your embrace.

Hajun cried silently for a few minutes, sobbing softly as he felt a little safer in your arms.

"The last time Dad was here..." he sighed between whimpers, lifting his head a little to meet your face "He and Heeseung had a nasty fight, but neither of them knows that I know."

"Your mother knows?" you asked, Hajun agreed.

It was the night the betrayal came to light that Heeseung didn't want to put his mother through all that lying to sustain a marriage that was only for her. His father had been gone for a long time, or at least trying to maintain an appearance that didn't exist.

Hajun was supposed to be asleep that night, but Heeseung's furious shouts woke him up, causing him to get out of bed and open the bedroom door with a crack. Hearing the swearing and shouting, he also heard something. It sounded like a struggle. Mrs. Lee's crying aroused Hajun's despair and he almost went downstairs to see what was going on, why Heeseung was cursing his father. Hajun had never heard his older brother swear like that.

But before he could go downstairs, his mother stopped midway with watery eyes and a silent plea for him to go back to his room.

"Stay here, okay? And don't tell them about it" Hajun knew something was very wrong because he had never seen his mother cry. And after a few minutes, the fighting seemed to stop.

The front door slammed hard and then Hajun tried to forget what had happened for so long until he only remembered after seeing his father's figure standing there in the middle of the room. They were flashes of the small event that was much bigger, and it made you even more curious because Hajun's words were few, even though they contained a lot of information since you were left in the dark when you arrived.

At least there was something to know, but it wasn't as if you needed to ask him everything either. You just wanted to protect him and you would do that, the questions could come later.

"God, dude, stop drinking" Jake whined as Heeseung poured himself another glass, ignoring his friend's protests.

"Why?" he asked "As far as I remember, we came here because I'm sad and I need to get drunk."

"Drunk is fine, but not to the point of vomiting" Jake took another glass away from Heeseung "I'm taking you away and I don't want anyone vomiting in my car."

It was a fair point, but Heeseung didn't want to make a big deal out of it. He wanted to forget the last few weeks.

He wanted to forget that, unfortunately, his father had had a shitty, friendly talk with his mother, agreeing that he would take Hajun away for at least one weekend to go for a walk or do something nice. Even if the boy's fights and constant swearing came to nothing. He knew he couldn't stop it, not legally, so as long as nothing happened to the little boy, Heeseung vowed not to speak a word to his father.

Then he became even more frustrated by your presence in his home, and this was because, as the days went by, he realized that he could feel something. Not even the slightest something for you. But what he didn't count on was the fury that went through his whole being when he saw you laughing with a boy in the university cafeteria. Heeseung hardly ever saw you there, or if he did, it was always with Ryunjin, so why did it bother him so much?

The last fact had been a state secret, none of his friends knew anything about it. So they attributed Heeseung's bad mood and sadness to the events with his father and how powerless he felt to let Hajun meet the man he hated most on the face of the earth.

"I might as well go home alone" Heeseung flashed all his pearly teeth in a childish grin when Sunghoon arrived with a few more glasses.

He was such a savior of the fatherland, making his sad friend, who just wanted to get drunk at that moment, happy.

"So why did you ask me for a ride?" Jake raised one eyebrow, smiling "Why did you say you wouldn't drive and I was supposed to take you back home?"

"Because you love me and would do anything for me" Heeseung picked up another glass and turned away from Jake to drink.

There was no point in arguing or stopping the tallest boy from drinking that night, not even Sunghoon could do it. The only way out was to surrender and let Heeseung enjoy as much as he could, even if Jake sneered every time the glass was against Lee's lips.

He wondered what the car would look like if it swayed too much while he was taking Heeseung home, or what he would look like in the back seat or even in the back if he had to take Sunghoon too.

And it was this scene that Jake found himself in, a few hours later, as he carried his two best friends out of the bar. Sunghoon was in the driver's seat to guide the way while Heeseung sat in the back seat, his legs wide apart and his head resting against the back of the seat.

Jake looked in the rearview mirror, afraid that some fluid would come out of Heeseung's mouth or that he would have to stop abruptly so that his friend would run off and vomit. But no, the journey continued normally until the three of them stopped in front of Lee's house. Meanwhile, Heeseung's mind was far away. Closed eyes had been a plague on his life for the past few weeks because every time it happened, your face would appear in his mind. It was something Heeseung tried at all costs to ignore. Something he swore to himself that if it happened again, he would have to take action.

And it was impossible not to think about you after the last scene he saw, your smile at that other boy still played like a memorized movie in his mind and even if you hadn't meant it, Heeseung had no right to feel that way. He was the one who had been a jerk to you all along, you couldn't be expected to be sweet to him about it.

"Heeseung" Sunghoon called out, turning back to touch his friend's knee. He opened his eyes slowly, getting used to the idea of seeing his friend's face and not his own in his thoughts.

"What's up?" he asked as soon as he was off the bench and sitting properly.

"We're here" Jake said, turning off the car "Do you want us to go in with you?"

A while of silence was enough for Heeseung's mind to wander even further and, without realizing it, it had already come out of his mouth without giving him a chance to regret it.

"Take me to Y/n's house."

"What the fuck?" Sunghoon almost shouted. Jake turned around abruptly, almost hitting Sunghoon head-on.

"Dude, what the fuck? Why are you asking me this?" he asked.

Really, why was he asking this? Heeseung didn't have an effective explanation for it, much less did he think he should. He just felt like it.

"I don't know, I just need to see her now and..." a long sigh came from his lips, Heeseung allowed himself to run one hand through his hair as he looked at Jake and then at Sunghoon "I need to make up for the shit I've done and tell her that I can't stop thinking about her."

"Oh" the two friends said at the same time, Jake swallowing down the urge to shout and say that it was all part of the little novel he'd written in his head about you and Heeseung. But that would be something for future conversations.

"Only if you tell me something" Jake said.

"Whatever you want to know" since everything was screwed up, there was no point in hiding anything from his best friend.

"Your father wasn't the only reason we were at the bar hours ago, was he?"

The shy smile that Heeseung tried to hide by biting his lower lip said it all, he didn't need a specific word for Jake or Sunghoon. It was clear how exactly that said that you had also been a reason, even if neither of them knew what it was.

Seeing Heeseung like that was new for the two boys sitting in the driver's and passenger's seats, so all that was left was for Jake to start the car again and drive to your apartment. Without asking Heeseung any questions about it.

But nothing stopped Sunghoon from making fun of him the whole way.

Words of encouragement were a mantra in the boy's mind who, with every step into the building where you lived, felt his whole body tremble. It was strange to be feeling this way, even more so for him who had never been this attached. Heeseung had never really thought that a girl could make him so nervous that he almost tripped over his own feet as he entered the elevator.

What could he say to you when he knocked on your door? That he wanted to see you? That would be something you wouldn't believe, even if it was the only truth he could tell you.

It made Heeseung rethink everything he'd ever said to you and the way he'd treated you since he met you. He didn't mean to be rude and he knew that it was all a reflection of what he had experienced with his father's disagreements. You, unfortunately, were the only person around and he didn't want the sight of someone new coming into his house. Because the last person to come out from under that roof had made a huge stranger in his life.

Heeseung didn't want to give in to someone like you, who came so easily into the Lee family's life and won over even his mother. The way she talked to you, the way she treated you like a member of the family. Heeseung rolled his eyes every time his mother brought the same candies, but not just for him and Hajun, she brought them for you too. Or how affectionate she was with you when you were at his house, chatting like old friends and laughing at things he didn't understand. He didn't want to understand why his mother was so happy after finding out she had been betrayed while Heeseung was suffering and disgusted by his father's image.

It was something he hadn't understood until recently. Maybe all the answers were right in front of his eyes, he just didn't want to accept it yet. So he needed to throw his hands up in the air and knock on your door right then and there, and that's exactly what he did.

He didn't know how you would react and he didn't want to, just looking at you would be enough for him to smile and walk away. Maybe apologize and say some lame excuse the next day and hope you believed his words.

Heeseung heard footsteps from inside the apartment and some mumbling that you were already on your way, indicating that you weren't ready for visitors or were far enough away to answer the door. Apprehension gripped his entire body as he took a few steps closer to hear what was going on inside.

As soon as you opened it, finishing putting on one of the sleeves of your long coat, Heeseung's world seemed to stop right there.

You were beautiful. More beautiful than he'd ever seen you before. Sharing the same roof with you for a week when his mother went away gave him the right to see you in your pajamas practically every night, but he didn't know that you looked even more beautiful in light silk pajamas and wearing a wool coat to cover your exposed arms.

"Heeseung?" your voice snapped him out of his thoughts as he looked at your face, the shock and curiosity screaming in your eyes making him feel euphoric. He didn't know what to say as he saw that you were still standing there, slightly startled by his presence.

He opened and closed his mouth for a few seconds to say something, but nothing seemed to come out. It was as if Heeseung had unlearned how to say anything because your gaze was making him shy.

When you took a step towards him, as if to get the attention of the boy in front of you, Heeseung didn't reason enough. He just raised one of his hands to touch the wool of your jacket and pulled you forward. The slow thud of your body against his made you let out a startled cry, which soon calmed down when Heeseung looked you in the eye.

"Jake gave me your address," he whispered "I needed to come here."

"Why?" your low voice sent all kinds of sensations through Heeseung's body and he wanted to be able to run away, but he limited himself. Squeezing his fingers against the wool of your jacket and loosening the fabric little by little.

"Because I want to talk to you, can we?" it was your time to deny it, tell him to go home and carry on without talking to Heeseung because a conversation with him would never end well.

But it wasn't like you to do anything you really should, so you gave him the go-ahead to enter your apartment and guide him to the sofa. Asking him to sit down before disappearing down the corridors. Just long enough for Heeseung to take off his jacket and put it on the armchair next to him, then sit down on the larger sofa and look around. Trying to get as many details as possible in case one day you asked him what he thought of your apartment.

Not that it mattered, he could say he'd need to go there more often to notice anything different. But remembering the first time you were here could be something useful and nice, perhaps.

"Here" you came back into the living room with a glass of water in your hands, walking over to the sofa where he was sitting and handing him the glass.

"Thanks" he said after taking the glass, drinking almost all the water in a matter of seconds. This was an indication of how nervous he still was after feeling your weight next to him on the sofa, the closest you'd been since the kiss you two had shared in the kitchen at his house.

Heeseung placed his glass on the coffee table and continued to stare at his own feet as he sighed slowly, clasping his hands together and playing with his fingers.

"My relationship with my father is the worst of all, and you've realized that haven't you?" you mumbled when he asked, albeit rhetorically, letting him continue his train of thought when he looked at you straight away "He cheated on my mother and ruined our family."

Oh. So that's why Heeseung was so harsh in his father's presence. And you couldn't understand how someone could betray Mrs. Lee, even if she was such an incredible woman.

"When my mother hired you, it was because she wanted to keep Hajun entertained most of the time and she knew I wouldn't be able to do that because I signed up for everything the university offered. Just so I wouldn't stay at home and have to deal with my father showing up."

Heeseung hated to lie that he had been neglectful to his younger brother about this, but he also couldn't risk bumping into his father and ending up fighting with the man in his younger brother's presence. That's when Mrs. Lee hired you as a nanny. Having someone to give the little one the attention that neither she nor Heeseung could be her priority. Someone you knew – even if you and Heeseung didn't speak to each other at the time – made the woman feel relieved because you seemed to have hit it off with the little one straight away.

"Seeing you integrate into the family made me feel angry because no one could like such a broken family with a false front" Heeseung was still looking at you, but his thoughts were a little more distant when he rambled "My mother wasn't happy when she hired you as a nanny. Hajun wasn't so happy when he met you and he only did it because my mother asked him to be nice to whoever was going to take care of him" a long sigh came from Heeseung's lips, looking away from you. "And I didn't accept that someone would be so nice to us because the last person who treated me, my brother, and my mother, so well, betrayed all of us."

You listened intently, seeing how broken Heeseung was inside your home. Opening his heart to you and asking for nothing in return.

He spoke for the first time about what it was like to have caught his father that night at the bar, how he felt the anger consume his body, and how he fought so many times until the man finally left the house. The divorce proceedings were kept under wraps because Hajun couldn't have known that something bad was going on, and your role was important in distracting him.

Heeseung admitted everything. And all the bad treatment he's given you since he met you was because he didn't know how to separate what was bad with his father, and that it shouldn't show to anyone. You wouldn't be like his father to anyone in the family, but amid the whole divorce process, you were there. Doing good for the Lee family without even knowing it.

And he didn't think he deserved it. I knew that Hajun deserved everything wonderful because he would spare his brother any bad feelings, but when you started being nice to Heeseung, he only knew how to be defensive.

You weren't supposed to greet him every time you were at home, you weren't supposed to flash smiles in his direction, let alone wave after a short answer he gave. Heeseung was rude – even for no reason – and you were still nice to him. Or at least polite. He wanted to believe that it was out of pure politeness and because Hajun was almost always around.

"I know I was a complete idiot and you never deserved that anyway" he slid his hand up to rest on your knee, feeling the slow touch of your fingers against his. Hesitantly, you took Heeseung's hand to intertwine your fingers in each other's "And that day in my kitchen..."

"We don't— Don't need to talk about..."

"I want to talk about it" he interrupted you, squeezing your fingers lightly and looking at you. This forced you to look at him too and maintain eye contact as you listened to every word Heeseung had to say "It was the day I saw my father in the bar, I left very angry."

You wanted to ask why he had gone after his father because Heeseung liked to beat himself up about it. But perhaps that was a conversation for another time, his gaze was so intent on you that all you could think about was every word he said.

"When I got home and you were in the kitchen, arguing was so unbearable that I acted on impulse when I kissed you and..." Heeseung's gaze dropped to your mouth, his Adam's apple bobbing with a dry gulp as he swallowed his saliva nervously "I didn't regret it, because I wanted it again."

"You—"

"I don't know what you did, Y/n, but I can't stop thinking about that day" neither can I, you wanted to answer, but hearing you say everything without a hint of pressure was wonderful. Maybe you'd confess later, but hearing his confession first was much better "You make me nervous, and want to kiss you every time we're near each other."

It was your turn to swallow. Heeseung was still staring at your mouth as if he were mesmerized by every detail of your lips when he felt your hand break away from his and go to the face next to you. You pulled him by the chin and felt Heeseung's breath against your skin from the sudden contact.

"We're too close now, what can you do?" you whispered.

He knew very well what to do and he wasn't going to waste any more time as he had done in previous weeks. Heeseung allowed his lips to touch yours slowly, but showing the urgency he had to feel you like that again.

You completely surrendered to the moment of having to kiss Heeseung again, this time knowing the exact moment when he asked for permission to enter your mouth with his tongue and how much slower his lips were now. Each movement was well appreciated as his hands slid down to your waist and yours ran to the back of his neck. Pulling Heeseung close, almost as if he wanted to fuse him against your body. And he would certainly do that if necessary.

But all he did was lay you back against the sofa while still maintaining the slow rhythm of the kiss, sighing against your lips as you spread your legs to accommodate Heeseung's body between them. It was a scene from heaven to be there again and in a slightly better position than sitting on a kitchen worktop. Heeseung could have sworn he cried in the middle of that kiss at being so close to you again.

Like a memory from last time, as soon as you both felt the need for air and he slid his mouth over yours, a moan came out of his throat. As sly as if he was really inside you when Heeseung kissed a specific spot on your neck.

That sound triggered something in him that, at the same moment, Heeseung pressed his hips against yours so that you could feel the full effect that just one kiss had on him.

"Hee..." you whispered as he returned with kisses all over your skin until he reached your earlobe, nibbling the skin slowly before aligning his face with yours again.

"You wouldn't be able to stop me now, would you?" he whispered back, kissing your mouth as slowly as he moved his hips against yours. It was torturous and at the same time sensual to feel Heeseung's tongue slide against yours at the same pace as he pressed his hard cock between your legs.

You moaned once more, anchoring your legs and holding his body there. Helping with the pressure and making him moan this time, biting his lower lip to break the kiss.

"You're going to be the death of me, Y/n" he gasped as he looked into your eyes. The fucking beautiful expression with the disheveled hair and droopy eyes, red mouth and chest rising and falling to normalize breathing.

"My room isn't too far from here" you pulled him back to you, feeling his lips hover over yours. Heeseung's smile widened even more.

"Good" he sealed his lips to yours "I haven't stopped wondering how this would end since the day I kissed you in that damn kitchen."

He wrapped his arms around you, lifting you off the sofa to pick you up and carry you to your room with your instructions along the way.

Heeseung just didn't know that you were also thinking about it, about to unravel all that thought.

#enhypen smut #heeseung smut #enhypen #enhypen fluff #heeseung fluff #enha smut #heeseung #enha fics #lee heeseung #enhypen heeseung #heeseung x reader #enhypen x reader #enhypen masterlist #lee heeseung fluff #lee heeseung smut #heeseung fanfics #lee heeseung x reader #heeseung imagines #bay writes.

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ivy-elle · 5 months ago

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Their Acts Of Love

Ft. Albedo, Ayato, Diluc, Kazuha, Kinich, Scaramouche, Xiao

Albedo

The alchemist is known for his pragmatic approach to life

It’s evident in the way he works, functions and goes about the world

Albedo discerns what certain matters require, how to refine them and how to adjust accordingly

So naturally, as you are an essential and irreplaceable part of his life, it was important to him from the very beginning to figure you out and understand your very own kernel as well

Albedo has made it his personal little goal to identify what you need, what could make your life easier, more comfortable in various ways

He doesn’t even wait to see you struggle with something first, there have already ideas bloomed in his mind, and he’s off to spend the next hours tinkering away

It starts with small adjustments – like modifying your coat in a more practical way to keep the cold at bay and adjust better to the temperatures for when you visit him on Dragon Spine

Or he creates special compasses for you, designed in a way that they guide you straight to whatever materials you’re currently searching for

Special flowers, that never seem to wither, placed onto your desk for you to fin

Whatever you could need, he has it already at hand

He truly loves you to the point of invention

Ayato

Ayato is a very sought-after and busy man with countless responsibilities and people to attend to

And while he tries to spend as much of his free time with you, those times don’t come as commonly and as long-lasting as he (and you) might wish for

Yet, every morning without fail, even before the sun rises, he wakes up to you sleeping soundly next him in bed

He drapes his arm around your waist and softly pulls you closer to him, holding you just a bit tighter

And each time, knowing that duties are calling for him from all corners, he makes room for at least ten of those special minutes, where he spends just this one more moment with you right next to him, before rising up

Sometimes you notice him and awake as well, and it has gradually become a sort of ritual for you to spend these early minutes with him

You seldom even speak a word, instead just let gentle touches linger, and fingers intertwine as you soak in each other’s presence, tanking energy for the day yet to come

Diluc

The high quality of the Angel’s Share’s wines, drinks and beverages in general is famous and renowned all over the corners of Teyvat

And Diluc takes a lot of pride in his creation, dedicating time and love to the craft

And in the same abundance he cherishes and takes pride in having you by his side at every step as well

Sometimes he likes to convey these feelings into his world as well

That means shortly said – patrons of his tavern might need to get used to order drinks that carry your very own name very soon

Perhaps, there are even slight variations, nicknames of sorts or nods to certain insiders only to be known by you and him alone

Then again, Diluc also entrusts you to naming a lot of his latest creations as well, proudly adding them to the menu card afterwards

The extra bonus of it all is of course, catching some guests’ reactions – especially Kaeya’s, who knows more of the ‘insiders’ than he wishes for

Kazuha

Kazuha is away on travels plenty of times.

Sometimes it could be even weeks in which you’re not seeing each other at all, and while not a day goes by without exchanging letters, no amounts of words could soothe the ache you feel in his absence

And Kazuha misses your presence by his side tremendously.

So, while he can’t show you the places that he visits per se, and only manages to convey his experiences in words, he came up with a lovelier strategy

In every place Kazuha visits he gathers a bunch of different flowers, he finds to be especially fitting and prevail the essence of the scenery

But because he’s aware of how quick flowers once picked wither away, he places them carefully in between the pages of a little notebook he always carries with him and presses the flower inside

Each page with flowers is captioned in his neat handwriting with the location, the date and a little haiku – for the practice – as he claims

So, whenever he returns back home to you, you’d have also a book full of memories pressed between sheets and a bit of Kazuha’s love accompanied alongside

(Perhaps one day he could get in contact with Albedo to ask for a way to prevent flowers from withering. But then again, to prevail them in a frozen state between life and death forever, may contain its very own certain art)

Kinich

Kinich is an adventurer through and through; he knows the woods, he knows the deserts, he knows the mountains and he knows you.

He adores both of these worlds, and he loves nothing more than to combine them whenever possible

He’d like you to see the world in its wonders and adventurer and possibilities just the way he does, and if he could, he would do anything to keep that look of wonder on your face for as long as possible

Kinich brings you to many of his favourite places, he follows you to any new view you want explore and some days the both of you spend hours just walking and strolling along through different paths and places

Anything you haven’t seen yet? Here we go.

Something you haven’t experiences, yet? Well, now you have.

You mean you’ve never been bungee jumping? Consider it done.

Afterall, his bests adventures happen to be the ones he shares with you – watch out, soon he’ll consider you his personal lucky charm

He is the best guide there is, at least for you specifically, because he knows the world and he knows your heart

Scaramouche

Scaramouche isn’t exactly a man of many words in that regard

Not explicably nice ones, that is

And certainly not from the romantic sort

And yet, he cares

He cares so deeply at times, it feels it’s going to gnaw him from the inside out and set fire to his bones

And while he’s not (yet) about to let these words slip past his lips, it is his actions that carry the volume

So, no, his words might only indirectly reflect his inner turmoil and this deeply rooted sentiment, but there is no denying he is a gentleman around you.

From opening doors (although he will insist, “you’re slacking off again”), to waiting for you so you can walk to a destination side by side (“I can’t trust your sense of direction on your own”) and carrying your stuff (“Lest you end up face-first on the ground”)

And if you’re the one to ask something, it’ll be done. Reluctantly and with some grumbling perhaps, but it will be done.

Xiao

Xiao is used to solitude – it’s easier, it’s safer, it’s all he’s ever known

You somehow, slowly, delicately managed to climb through the cracks of the walls that shelter his soul and heart

Nowadays, the spot beside him on the tree of Wangshu Inn is seldom empty anymore

No longer does he has to endure seemingly endless nights, buried in his own personal torture, for there’s nothing, he desires any more now than to lay down beside you at the end of each day

You’ve managed to find your way into his heart and make him feel as if, life has some worth aside from the burdens he is bound to carry

Xiao quite literally worships the ground you walk on

As a yaksha, he sees it as part of his duty, but it extended into his very own personal mission to assure your absolute safety at all time

Especially when you’re out on your own travels and journey

Rest assured, no treasure hoarders, no hilichurls, and certainly no ruin guards will ever cross your path or pose a threat to you, as long as he has a say in it

#genshin x reader #albedo x reader #ayato x reader #diluc x reader #kinich x reader #kazuha x reader #scaramouche x reader #xiao x reader #x reader #genshin fluff

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queers-gambit · 23 days ago

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Let The Redeemed Tell Their Story [ pt. 1 ]

part one: Not So Heavenly Surprise

pt. 2: Let the Redeemed Tell Their Story

prompt: reunions are bittersweet. feelings are hard. times are tough, redemption is sought, goodbyes feel impossible; there's blood in the snow, tears in their eyes, and a haunting goodbye in the air.

pairing: Joel Miller x female!wife!reader

fandom masterlist: HBO's The Last of Us

word count: 9.3k+

note: in my best Tom Segura voice, "get. fucking. ready." -> second 24-27 from this TikTok for reference

second note: broken up into two parts. pt 1: the reunion, pt. 2: the drama and angst

warnings: suicidal ideology / mention as pertains to Joel's story. we talk death and dead bodies, mentions of dead children. cursing, use of Y/N, so many spoilers, reader insert!! pet names for / by all, step parents are REAL parents, forgiveness, heavy redemption arc, canon-level violence!! small comfort, some fluff, established relationship, and then super-sized angst, author wants you to hurt! oh, and fatal main character injury! maturity and caution required! written before season two!

❗️season one, episode six spoilers

Needless to say, Ellie, Joel, and Tess all got off to the wrong start, on the wrong foot, in the wrong direction. It wasn't exactly any of their faults, though.

There had been an ambush; blood, bullets, a knife, battery acid; there being no real friendly way to meet others post Outbreak. And in these trying times amongst the Firefly Rebellion, there was an added extra layer of anxiety to everything - making it hard to come by trust, especially after Joel himself conducted particularly heinous crimes against humanity. He knew what people were capable of, and even though Ellie was smaller and not visibly a threat to him, he wasn't going to let his guard down. That's how you fucked around and found out.

Life felt brittle and unbalanced, no room for new friendships or bonds or trust or camaraderie in this dog-eat-dog world.

Plus Joel aimed a gun at Ellie, she wasn't entirely willing to play nice after that. And Tess was evidently just Joel's lapdog - meaning she had a helluva bite as bad as her bark - so, the older woman wasn't entirely screaming "friendly" either. There was something off about them, but Ellie couldn't identify what it was; knowing she had to trust that if her mother's friend was right, this couple was just a vehicle - a means - to get her west. There were facilities, laboratories, doctors, and researchers conducting life-saving experiments that could see the start and end of this Outbreak in the same lifetime. Ellie was excited to be part of those answers since it was all the 14-year-old could hold onto after losing Riley to the Infection; thinking she wouldn't ever have to endure that twist of fate again if she went west.

Yet for now, she was saddled with Joel and Tess; the latter of who left the pair at the apartment to gather supplies for their trip into Boston to link with the Firefly transport team. She had to play nice for, what? All of two, maybe three days? Tops? Ellie figured she could do that, she was stronger than anyone wanted to give her credit for. So, when Joel crashed on the couch, she poked around the bleak 'home' out of pure childlike nosiness.

There wasn't anything personal to the naked eye, until she caught sight of the stained-glass butterfly hanging in the window pane; sure to catch the light when the sun was shining. She thought it curiously out of place, yet would not say a word when Tess returned and Joel was instantly lifting to his feet to take it down. He quickly wrapped it in an old shirt and stored it as safely as he could deep in his supply pack, eyes casted downward to miss Tess' glare and head shake of disappointment. Or perhaps, he didn't miss them at all and purposefully avoided the eyes of a jilted lover, offended by a childish decoration.

In fact, interestingly, Ellie noted that Joel was much more caring and considerate with his pack than he was Tess. She never saw them romantically interact, but understood there was some kind of trauma bond between them; feeling something heavy in her chest when witnessing their goodbyes. It was the most emotional Joel had appeared this whole time, and of course, it was in the shadow of losing someone he cared about.

Joel was in denial, even when Tess revealed her bite and compared it to Ellie's - whose skin was scabbing and healing. "When Y/N first - "

"Don't say her name," Joel snapped.

"Fuck you and listen! When Y/N first theorized there would come immunity in younger generations, we both told her she was fucking crazy. She left us, left you, Joel - "

"Don't you fuckin' say that - you don't talk about her like that!"

"We don't have time for you to play this game, Joel! She went in search of a sign - and now, look! This is real," Tess yanked Ellie's arm further into the light. "Joel, she's fucking real, and you haven't heard anything from Y/N in years - not even Tommy's heard from her! Isn't that why we're going - why you're going? So her death isn't in vain?" Joel shook his head, but the attention shifted when Tess' hand started to shake. She released Ellie and tucked her arm out of sight, insisting, "I need you to get her to Bill and Frank's - "

"No."

"They'll take her off your hands - "

"No."

" - they'll handle it from there."

Joel refused at first, but Tess was running out of time and used every tactic at her disposal. She insisted and demanded. Tears filled her eyes, "The past 15 years, all you've wanted was absolution - it's what Y/N wanted, so it became what you wanted - "

"I told you, don't fuckin' talk about her," Joel snarled angrily, but Tess didn't flinch this time... Because there was no time.

"Face it! She's dead, Joel, but she was waiting for anyone like Ellie!"

"You don't know that!"

"I know it's easier to think she's out there, Joel, but this is Y/N we're talking about - she would've sent word! She hated what we did so much, she left to search for anything better! For anything, Joel! You have to do this. This is it, Joel, this is your chance for you and her to set everything right."

It seemed to do the trick and Ellie wondered who you could've been since your very name set Joel on edge. Yet there was no time to question either of them because a wave of Infected was on their way to them after the chain network of fungi called them to their newest prey. There was panic permeating the air as they had about a minute or two to get gone, arm themselves, or fruitlessly hide before the Infected would reach them.

Tess began overturning gallons of gasoline onto the floor, devising a quick plan; tossing several explosives to the ground with the intention that they would all catch. "Joel," Tess hushed, approaching him, "it's what she would want... If Y/N was here, in my position, she'd be telling you the same thing... If not for me, do it for her. Save who you can save."

Joel only hesitated a moment before turning from Tess and grabbing Ellie, yanking her out of the building after him despite her profane protests. Tess sacrificed herself for their escape, firm in her belief that a cure was possible after witnessing the impossible herself; evident the adults were still living in the past, stuck on what was and all that they lost.

Ellie was deeply motivated by Tess' display, curious if there ever was something to 'return' to, making the newly independent pair quiet on their journey through the suburbs beyond the city.

At Bill and Frank's, they were greeted by only more death. There was nothing out here for them; completely alone, only with each other to rely on. So, Joel and Ellie formed a sort of pact to travel together west in search of the Fireflies and Tommy, Joel's brother - entire reason for his mission trip. Yet still, she felt this mystery woman haunting Joel; it was in nearly everything he said or did, evident there was harbored history he refused to acknowledge. Ellie never had the opportunity to vocalize her question who you were, it was never natural, no bridge, no Segway or reason to ever bring your name up; and after seeing the way Joel snapped at Tess, she wasn't entirely eager to endure a similar reaction.

So she didn't ask that question.

And they kept going.

After Kansas City, Ellie wasn't too excited for answers anymore, especially since she failed to save Sam; in fact, she began to dread their destination the further they got. She was unsure what waited for her and let the anxiety of the unknown drag her down; something Joel took acute note of, but didn't directly address. The obvious turmoil and the way he was haunted by the very mention of his estranged wife's name contributed to the heaviness growing in his chest.

December 11th, 2023 twenty years after Outbreak Day

"Hey, Doc! Doc!"

"Yeah? All right there, Arthur?" You asked pleasantly, trudging up the street leading to the cantina.

"Oh, yeah, yeah, you know me, just my sciatica actin' up again," the older man grunted, waddling in stride beside you. "I done told you this weather was gonna drag me down, see here?"

"Hey now, c'mon, all right, hold onto me, don't need you tippin' over again," you chuckled, keeping the aging elder upright, both shuffling along. "I got what you need, don't you worry, a nice tincture for yah, fresh this morning. All right? Help clear this episode right up - let's get you somethin' warm t'eat, c'mon, there you go, step carefully, all right, now."

"You always spoilin' me," he tisked.

"Us older folk gotta stick together, huh?"

"You're hardly up there," Arthur scoffed, shuffling into the cantina with your assistance. "You're, what? 30? 32?"

"Oh, you ol' charmer," you snickered, waving or nodding at the few citizens that quietly greeted you in passing to the dining room, "you know better than to ask a lady her age!"

"Oh, well, maybe an old timer like me was just tryna hedge his bets."

"Hey? What's that supposed to mean?"

You helped him into a seat across the way from Two Left Lenny as he explained, "Couple o'us got a li'l bet goin' if you're really with that Tommy fella or Maria lady. Can't figure you out, darlin', and you're too pretty t'stay single."

With a snort of amusement, you pushed his seat in, "Now, you wouldn't be tryna set me up with nobody, would'jah? Arthur, I'm tellin' you what, don't do it now."

"Oh, no, never," Arthur sang, hands held in defense.

"Uh-huh, okay, Trouble. Sit tight, I'll grab you somethin'," you patted his shoulder, asked Lenny if he needed anything, then moved towards the buffet line; chuckling to yourself about his little queries. You made up a quick plate with a simple cup of black coffee, chitchatting to the other residents as you went before dropping the meal at the table. "Now, you're gonna eat all them eggs, huh? They're good protein, you need it," you mused, reaching for your usual crossbody canvas tote to rummage around before producing a tincture bottle. "All right, here you go - use moderately. The grove I harvest them cloves at is dryin' up. I gotta replant - "

Before you could continue, a chair shrilly scraped against the floor and someone cried your name. Only... This was a familiar Southern drawl you knew originated from one place.

Whipping around towards the sound, you only needed a moment before Joel's figure was clear as day; stood from his seat in shell shock. He had tears in his wide eyes.

"Joel?" You breathed, and without another thought, rushed for him. "Holy shit, that you? That really you? Oh, my good God, how the fuck - what're you - c'mere!"

The clash of your bodies thudded across the cantina; blissful, unfiltered laughter filling the hearts of any with the ability to hear. Arms clung like cling wrap to each other, rubbing in shock and disbelief as if to reassure the feeling of one another - alive and real, physically here right now. You felt his chest heaving, mouth at your ear hushing, thick with emotion, "I thought you dead, baby; oh, my God. Thought you was gone, I had t'come a'lookin' - you said - you said if I ain't hear from you - "

"Oh, sweetheart, I know, hey, hey," you sighed, petting the back of his head; fingers loosely raking in salted locks. "I'm so sorry I couldn't send word, but I'm right here, honey, I'm right here... Shhh, 's all right, I gotcha, 'M here. Just focus on that."

And just like that, it was as if not a day had passed; as if there was no bad blood or past transgressions, only the here and now: sheer relief.

"Baby, I-I gotta - "

"I gotcha, you're okay," you hushed with your eyes squeezing shut upon feeling yourself dampen with his tears.

"I can't believe it's really you," he whispered. "Shit," with one last squeeze, he pulled back first but kept your cheeks caressed in both hands, "lemme a look at yah. You still you? You hurt?"

"Man," you tisked, smacking his bicep to make him flinch back in amusement, "what the fuck are you doin' all the way out here? How the hell are you even here? Thought I left you in Boston?"

"It's a bit of a long story."

You nodded, "Yeah, yeah, it always is, innit? Go on, sit, go, you were eating, c'mon." You both moved back for his side of the table; reaching out to position his chair and wait for him to reclaim it. "Tommy? You got somethin' to do with this?"

"Apparently," he mused, smirk ever present as you clapped Joel's shoulder and took note of the girl sitting beside him - who eyed you with mistrust. "Oh, uh, Y/N, this is Joel's... uh, Ellie. Ellie, this is our town's physician, Dr. Y/N Miller."

"Nice t'meet yah," you smiled, offering the girl your hand not resting on Joel's shoulder, "Ellie."

"No shit," she breathed, ignoring your hand to stand. "You're her? You're her - you're the Doctor. You're who Marlene told me about."

"Marlene?" You and Joel asked as the same time, but in very different pitches. Ellie noticed the natural way your hand caressed the back of his neck in silent restraint; a motion so practiced from years of marriage. "No shit, how's she doin'? She's not been on the radio lately, I haven't heard from her, God, maybe in years," You mused.

"Now you know how that feels," Joel easily quipped, putting a smile on Tommy's face to realize how identical this scene had once been in another life... But with Sarah.

"Hear that?" Tommy whispered to Maria behind his hand with a smirk. "Family."

"Good, last I knew," Ellie shrugged. "She's in Boston, but, uh, I hear you been lookin' for someone like me - "

"Ellie," Joel interrupted, the girl reading his face and silencing herself.

Your head cocked before a coy smile tugged on your lips as you eyed her up and down. "Uh-huh. Well, all right, honey, I just didn't know what was comin' my way." You tisked your teeth, encouraging, "Go on, sweetie, sit down, eat, enjoy. We'll get t'chattin' later, huh?"

"All right, yeah," Ellie smiled, sitting again. "What?" She asked Joel, who was shooting her an incredulous look. "I know some people, too."

"Uh-huh," he grunted, both going back to their meals. Your trio watched the two tuck in, Dina tapping your shoulder nervously, presenting your usual cup of coffee.

"Oh, thank you, darlin'. Hey, can I introduce - Oh, no, no, that's okay," you smiled when the girl turned and scurried away mid-sentence. "Listen, I gotta get back t'work - "

"Nah, c'mon, stay for a while, you're always moving, honey bee, c'mon," Tommy encouraged, tears slowly collecting in your eyes.

"Duty calls," you eased, sending Maria a pointed look.

"We'll find you later," she agreed, subtly nudging Tommy's foot under the table; watching you squeeze Joel's shoulder and nod at Ellie.

"Nice t'meet yah," you winked.

"Wait," Joel panicked, reaching to grab your hand to prevent your escape, "you really leavin'?"

"I've got some work to get done," you nodded softly.

"We just got here," he stood from his seat again, "I just found you again, doll, please."

You offered a half smile, "You'll be all right, Joel, promise. I'm never too far."

"Nah, no, darlin', hang on, 'cause last time I let you walk away, I ain't see you for fuckin' years - "

"No, hey, Joel, take a breath, baby. I'm not goin' too far, I'm right here in Jackson, all right? You're okay, y'all are safe - I just gotta wrap some shit up but I'll find you after, all right? Sure we got plenty t'catch up on, huh?"

"Yeah," Tommy scoffed without thought, "tends t'happen after two decades, right?" You and Joel pinned Tommy with an identical look of reprimand, making him laugh, "Wow - ain't seen that look in forever, huh?"

"Shut it, Tommy," you laughed, squeezing Joel's arm. "Sit, I'll find yah. Promise."

You sought solace in the medical office, distracting yourself through the waves of emotions you were being slandered with; but with rangers returning, there was thankfully no room for your emotional turmoil.

"No waaay!" Ellie beamed when she saw the foal poking her head over the stall door. Cavernous nostrils flared in greeting, the baby beast excited to greet another youngling.

"I see you've met our newest addition," you mused as you came up behind the group; starling Joel and Ellie. They physically flinched, but Tommy and Maria were far too used to your lithe movements. With a fraction of guilt, your hands went up in defense, "Sorry, sorry, bit light-footed."

Joel didn't deflate, but Ellie smiled, "What's her name?"

"That's Shimmer, just a few months old," you introduced, moving to lean on the stall's outer wall. "Go on, pet 'er if you'd like," you encouraged softly.

Ellie approached the filly, greeting, "Shimmer, you're so beautiful."

"Ever ride a horse before?"

"Nah, never... I'd like to learn, though."

"I'm sure we can make that happen," you nodded, looking at your estranged husband; mind whirling with the memories of teaching Sarah to horseback ride. Judging by the look on his face, he was lost in the same thoughts. So you tried to bring him back to reality by asking, "That is, if it's all right with you, Joel?"

"Hm?" He perked up.

"Ellie, learnin' t'ride?"

"Oh, uh... We'll see," he alluded, shifting his weight and looking away; hands wringing together.

"Well," Maria sighed, "I'm sure they'd like a shower, some new clothes. Doc, you got room for them or should we set them up in the house across the way?"

"They can stay at mine," you pushed off the wall, assuring the weary travelers, "plenty of room, decent place. I haven't really touched it so it might not feel much like home, but it's got heat and water. Could do worse."

"Oh, trust me, we have been," Ellie teased, alluding to the rough conditions they traveled through. You smirked in agreement, understanding first hand how difficult the trip from Boston to Jackson was.

But the child's comment made Joel snip, "We've been doin' fine."

You watched Ellie's face fall in confusion, as if she didn't understand Joel's defensiveness. Yet you did, nodding at Joel to try to assure him that you knew he did all he could in the given circumstances. He didn't need to feel inadequate since Jackson only had certain amenities of privilege because it was one of a kind. He looked down - hardly the man you knew, making your concern spike momentarily; realizing you'd have to relearn about the man you married 20some years ago; where for 5 or so years, you were a ruthless barbarian, then spent 15 years rectifying your wrongdoings, too many of which you've been gone from his side.

"Well, Doc can take Ellie over if you two wanna catch up?" Maria offered; Tommy looking to his brother for an answer.

"Yeah... Okay," Joel accepted after a moment of thought.

Tommy moved to lead the way, Ellie quietly hissing, "Joel."

"You'll be fine," he promised the girl, pointing at you, "trust her with my life, hand t'God."

Ellie noted that seemed to be a common theme; first with Marlene relaying her trust in Doc, now Joel. She watched him walk away with his brother, a strange feeling of abandonment brewing in her belly; hating how seemingly the moment he found his brother, he left her. You nodded to Maria, who left the pair of you to go about her daily chores; asking Ellie, "Shall we, honey?"

"Uh, yeah," she agreed, still watching the two men before almost forcing herself to follow you.

"If it's any comfort, we only leave the property for necessity. They're just headin' inta town. Won't be too far at any given point."

"Right."

"Ever had your own bedroom?"

"Uh, kinda?" She offered, now keeping pace with you. "I had a roommate, but... She joined the Fireflies, left me alone in our dorm..."

"You were FEDRA?"

"Yeah, in their orphanage."

You frowned, striding towards your house across from Maria and Tommy's., "Fuckin' brutal. Bet you're glad to be outta there."

"You have no idea."

"Oh, I got some - hence why I left," you snickered, nudging her playfully. "All right, here we go," you pushed open the front door, "so, real simple, right? Living room," you gestured, "kitchen's through there - backdoor, too," you pointed. "Right, so, up the stairs," you jogged up, hearing her follow, "got my bedroom right here." You bullied your shoulder into the bedroom she could use, "Right, then, sorry 'bout the dust and shit; I like cleaning for my anxiety, but it's no secret this part of the house don't get much use. Here," you showed her the bathroom, "can get a shower - I'll grab you a towel and some soaps. And some new clothes, all right?"

"Oh, uh, yeah, okay..."

You nodded, "Meet downstairs when you're done?"

"Cool."

After supplying her with the necessities, you left Ellie in the bathroom to quickly tidy up the room, deposit a new set of clothes and a DivaCup to the bed, then hustling out the backdoor towards your neighbor, Donna, who owed you from a couple favors. She provided the new winter coat you requested and gave you some of her homemade cookies before you left.

Reentering through the kitchen, you discovered Ellie in the living room, staring at the memorial you erected for your daughters on the mantel over a roaring fire. "Oh, good, you're out," you smiled in greeting, setting the cookies to the table. "I just grabbed you this," you held up the coat, "should help with the bitterness out here. Tellin' yah, kid, the wind out here is murderous." After handing it over, you encouraged, "Well, go on, try it on, lemme see."

"Why'd you do this...?"

"Ah, not used to people just being kind, huh?"

"No. Everyone has ulterior motives."

"Go through what I've been through, kid, and trust me, you get tired of being so pessimistic. Weighs on the soul in the worst ways and I don't have time or capability for that anymore. Just wanna do some good - no matter how small an act." You gestured at the jacket, watching her swing it on before adding, "Plus, you're Joel's kid, and that matters to me. Good?"

"It's, uh, super fuckin' purple."

"Eh, I'd say it's more eggplant," you tugged on the lapels and sleeves, nodding. "It fits?"

"Yeah - "

"Shoe's aren't too big?"

"Uh, no. Where's my other stuff?"

"Rag pile. Get the thing I left you?"

"Yeah. Weirdest gift ever."

"Trust me, it's useful," you snorted with amusement. "Figured period health wasn't exactly top of Joel's list, but - "

"He's not my father," she snipped, "and I can take care of myself."

"All right, then," you kept the relief out of your tone, remaining aloof. "You, uh, you want a haircut? Just to trim the ends, promise."

"I mean, I guess?"

"Who's been doin' it?"

"World-class salons," she deadpanned.

But you weren't phased, only smirking, "Should get your money back for that hack job, huh?" She looked ready to retort, but you were quick, "C'mon, honey, in the kitchen; just a trim, I'll grab my scissors."

So lead into about 10 minutes of silence as you wet Ellie's hair, brushed it, and then began inspecting how much of a cut would be needed. You figured about an inch or so.

"So..." Ellie broke the silence after finishing one of the cookies, "was this, like, your job back then or somethin'?"

"Nah," you mused, "never cut hair professionally, just more of a hobby. I've always liked doin' it, though, but..." You shrugged, "Maybe it was a mom thing." The silence turned poignant. "Saw yah lookin' at my li'l memorial...?"

"Uh, yeah. I'm-I'm sorry about your kids."

"Thank you," you sighed. "Delilah was just a few months old, Sarah wasn't much older than you are now."

"Could I ask what happened? Don't have to tell me if it's - "

"It's all right," you cut her off, "'s been 20 years, but ain't nothin' to really tell." You paused to snip another section of hair, aware that Joel would've told her is he wanted her to know. "The night of the Outbreak, there was so much chaos, my family was forced to split up. My sister had been holdin' Delilah, so she and Tommy had to go a different route than Joel, Sarah, and I - "

"Wait, Joel and Tommy?" Ellie asked swiftly.

"Yeah?"

"You were together that night? I-I mean," she realized the implication was too blatant, trying to cover, "you all knew each other back then?"

You snickered, "Uh-huh, knew each other reeeaaaal well. They ain't tell yah?"

"Nobody's told me anything. I can't tell if it's because they think I'm too young to handle it, or they simply can't stand to relive those memories."

"Probably the latter, darlin', everyone lost everything. It's hard to think back on that day 'cause nobody was untouched, you know? It... It fucked all survivors up."

"Right, yeah, I bet. So you guys, uh, split up?"

"Mhm." Your voice turned somber, the sounds of snipping scissors filling the background, "We lost Sarah first... Then my sister, Katie, well she got bit at some point when on the run with Tommy, so, uh, it was a mercy killin'... And last was Delilah - see, her li'l body was too weak for the Infection, so it killed her, didn't turn her."

Ellie sighed deeply as another section of hair was cut. "Holy shit... I-I'm sorry... That's... That's fucking terrible."

"Ain't nothin' but the past now, darlin'."

Ellie nodded in agreement, trying to break the tension by asking, "Soooooo, you and Tommy...?"

"Oh, fuck no!" You snickered, seeing her jolt in repressed amusement. "He's my brother-in-law; Joel and I were married, or I guess we technically still are, since divorce ain't a thing in the apocalypse."

Ellie went rigid, your scissors slowing when you noticed. Before you could question it, she asked, "They were Joel's kids?"

You wanted to blurt out that, no, Delilah wasn't Joel's after he rejected her before she was even born. Yet it was obvious this child had an attachment to him and you didn't wish to taint the man she knew by exposing the man he once was. There was no use hanging onto the past now, so you answered, "Sure was. Sarah wasn't biologically mine, though; you see, I was her stepmama. Though it often never felt like that - I was all she knew."

"She was your kid, too," Ellie validated.

"Uh, you know what? I'm sorry, honey, I shouldn't have said all that, it's Joel's business to tell."

"It's equally yours. But I appreciate knowing, guess it explains him a little."

"Mh," you hummed, "listen, kid, there's obviously some things you don't know 'bout him, but I reckon you've seen other things. Listen, I don't need to know what happened - but let me justify so you understand, he was so angry for years after losing our daughters in such a brutal way that he resorted to barbarity to filter his emotions. Loss like that... Changes a person to their core. Makes them do things never imaginable - "

"Oh, like killing people? Just like your beloved Tommy used to do, too?" Ellie quipped, "Yeah, I know about that."

"Mhm," you considered.

"He doesn't do that anymore."

"I ain't say nothin'."

"I felt you judging."

"How can I judge what I, too, have done, kid?" It was quiet save from the snip of the scissors. "Yeah, darlin', I know what Tommy and I did - we were followin' Joel. Inna way, we always did. He's magnetic that way, always had the right head on his shoulders so we didn't think too much, figured he knew right from wrong, and our best chances of survival was under him. Joel did everything possible to keep us alive and together."

Ellie scoffed, "And now you're worried I'm gonna do the same?"

"I - "

"Ever occur to you, I might be smarter than you and Tommy? No offense."

You sighed and dropped her hair, swiping the towel from around her shoulders a little roughly. Ellie's head snapped up to watch you round the front of her, taking the single seat at the table she was sat before. Tossing the scissors and towel aside, you sighed, "Listen to me, kid, and listen well. I'm not worried 'bout'cha. You've obviously got a helluva head about you - and yeah, very well might be smarter than me. Reckon you are smarter than Tommy, would've made a damn fine lawyer." A faint smirk tugged on the side of her mouth. It fell as your tone turned serious, "But don't for a second think you know more than I do, been around a helluva lot longer than you've even been a thought. There's a whole lot you're not tellin' me - and that's good. We all got our secrets - you, me, Tommy, Joel, Marlene. Everyone." You watched Ellie's eyes advert, sighing, "You hear me?"

"Mhm."

"I'm not tryna scare you, darlin', not tryna deter you from puttin' any kinda faith in Joel. Truthfully... Joel Miller was the best man I knew. He's a good guy to trust, would put his life on the line for those he cares for without a second thought."

"Then what are you trying to tell me? What?" She scoffed, "You think Joel's gonna do whatever he did to you, to me?"

"Well, therein lies my point - you be fuckin' careful who you put your faith in. The only people who can betray us... Are the ones we trust."

Ellie's eyes lit up with understanding. "How did he betray you?"

"That's not - "

"You can't give me all that cryptic crap and not explain. Nobody fuckin' explains to me anything!"

You chuckled, "Yeah, you're definitely smart, but for now, I'm smarter, hey? Now, c'mon, grab your super fuckin' eggplant coat."

"Where're we going?"

"The movies," you smirked. "Take some cookies, too."

You walked Ellie to the cantina, where a community movie night was underway. The pair of you asked simple questions: where were you from, what each other's favorite color was, how the hell you made it out to Jackson in one piece. During that walk, you decided you liked Ellie; she was a sarcastic little spitfire, but that kind of energy was few and far between these days. You liked the child's razzle-dazzle.

On the way into the cantina, you saw Tommy and Maria exchanging a hushed conversation; so, after seeing Ellie inside, you doubled back. "Hey," you greeted, the couple silencing themselves, "uh, everything all right?"

Maria sighed with a nod, "Fine. I'm gonna head in, keep an eye. You two should probably talk."

You watched your friend walk away, turning to Tommy with an inquisitive stare and a perched brow. Before you could question the tension, Tommy held up a pair of boots and requested, "Actually, babygirl, you mind taking these to the work shed?"

"Sure, but, uh - "

"They're for Joel."

"Right - but is there a reason you don't wanna deliver 'em yourself?" When his eyes adverted, you questioned, "Tommy? Somethin' happen between y'all?"

Tommy shook his head, "Can't hide shit from you. No, it's not - it's just - you know how brothers are. How he gets."

Your eyes narrowed, "Tell me the truth."

"It's not so bad..."

"What. Happened?"

Tommy lowered his voice, "I told him 'bout Maria and I becomin' parents and he... He didn't... He didn't have the best reaction. I might've said something t'him, like... How just 'cause his life stopped, doesn't mean the rest of ours did, too. I know I was outta line - "

"What was his reaction to you bein' a dad?"

"I told him I thought I'd be a good dad and he said, 'I guess we'll find out.'"

You counted to five in your head, inhaling the bitter cold and exhaling. "You know that's his trauma talkin'. You were the best fuckin' uncle to our girls, you're gonna be the best damn daddy, I know it. Joel's just not in his right mind, Tommy."

Tommy took a long breath in, huffing as his hands shoved to his jacket pockets. "Listen, uh, I was... I was gonna go talk to him, but I think you might get farther than me."

"Yeah, I don't know - "

"He's might still be a little prickly, babygirl, but c'mon, you guys can talk on a clean, fresh slate. Maybe he'll be a li'l more willin' talkin' to yah, I mean, he always was."

"That was before."

"Not like that kinda love changes."

"Tommy, don't make it weird," you groaned.

"C'mon," he insisted, "I traded those boots for Joel; he's in the shed, probably tryna glue the soles of his back together."

"Nah, you're comin' with me, y'all gotta kiss and make up."

"Hang on, Y/N," Tommy halted you, glancing around before lowering his voice. "Joel said he's gotta take Ellie to the university t'meet with the Fireflies. She's apparently some muck's daughter, but I don't know if he was tellin' the truth."

"Well, she told me clearly he's not her daddy. He say why they needed down there?"

"Somethin' with Marlene, he wasn't too specific, darlin'."

You frowned and lead the way around the building, crunching through the snow. When you entered the work shed, Joel was sitting on a lone stool with a few tools spread around him; an abandoned boot left to the side. He perked up as if a deer in headlights when he saw you, lips pulling in a small, reassuring smile as you neared the work bench to set the new boots down. "Tommy said I'd find yah here," you mentioned softly, gesturing to his brother by the door. "Here, figured you'd wanna toss them ol' things out so Tommy saved you the trouble and traded for these."

Joel sighed through his nose and nodded silently, going back to his work; hating how effortless and comfortable you seemed to be, hating that there was tension with him and you, him and Tommy; wanting so desperately to go back to how everything once was. Joel just wanted his family back, but he understood, things would never go back to how they were. No matter how much he wished it, no matter how hard he tried, no matter who he prayed to.

"I'll just - leave you two to it," you tried to back out, motioning your brother-in-law forward.

"Nah, babygirl, stay," Tommy prevented your escape, finally facing his brother; who wouldn't admit the flood of relief he felt hearing your old nickname. "Look, I shouldn't have said what I said. I don't even believe it. I know you're happy for me, it's just... It's complicated for you. Both of you," he looked at you as you leaned on a separate workbench, "and I'm sorry." Joel couldn't look Tommy in the eye, opting down at his folded hands; picking at a few callouses.

"Joel?" You asked softly, but his head did not lift.

"This ride to the university, is it a suicide mission?"

You straighten up, crossed your arms, and dropped your head as your lips rolled between your teeth. That word... That word triggered a barrage of thoughts you'd suppressed decades ago. Behind your eyelids, you had flashes of memory to just a few days post Outbreak...

Survivors had been rounded up into triage tent cities, and that day, you had limped into your tent just in time to see a gun pointed at Joel's temple. You remember screaming his name, which in turn made him flinch, but the trigger had already been pulled. You had dropped to your knees at his side, sobbing uselessly, whipping off your dirty shirt to press to the weeping wound on his temple.

You hated those memories.

You hated that the pain he endured was so raw and tangible that he thought that was his only option.

You hated that he never bothered to say goodbye.

You hated him for (almost) doing that - but only for a time. After the initial anger passed, you understood better than anyone why he felt the need to "opt out", never trying to hold it against him whilst trying to cope with him never trusting you with those thoughts or feelings. But the fact remained: he was willing to off himself without a single word to you or Tommy. It was hard to get over something like that, especially after losing your daughters in such a violent, back-to-back manner.

"No," Tommy answered Joel's query. "It's dangerous, but it's nothing you can't handle. Just prepare and do what you do."

"You've had people go that way and come back?" Joel asked.

"All of 'em - "

"Don't lie t'him, Tommy," you spoke stoically, staring at your feet as both Miller brothers looked over at you. "Goin' down t'the university ain't all easy, Joel," you lamented, meeting his teary gaze, "and even some of our rangers don't make it back - there's Infected, sure, but out here, the people are much more dangerous. They're righteously savage... Even a few rumors of cannibal factions. Might not be a total suicide mission, but it's not really worth the risk, especially now with winter set in. Desperate times create desperate people."

Joel dropped his head, "Thanks f'the truth, doll."

"But hey," you tried to cover your tracks under Tommy's pointed stare, "when you have experienced rangers like Tommy or I go, there's never been any issue. We come back without a single scratch, often without seein' a single livin' thing. Yeah?"

"That's right," Tommy agreed, but you both couldn't look away from the dejected shell that was Joel Miller.

Your head cocked with furrowed brows, sharing a look with Tommy when Joel just remained silent. "Joel? Why do you need t'get t'the university? This have anythin' t'do with Ellie and Marlene?" Joel looked like he wanted to answer, but the swelling in his throat stopped him. You encouraged softly, "C'mon, darlin', 's just Tommy and I - you can tell us the truth. What's goin' on?"

A pause.

"She's immune," Joel admitted, stopping time; staring up at his brother with a silent plea before turning his sights on you.

"Say again?" You asked breathlessly.

"Ellie," He explained, watching you nod. "She got Infected but she didn't get sick."

You scoffed, "Yeah, all right, so we're chasin' ghost stories now? C'mon, baby, we don't - "

"It's not a ghost story, Y/N, it's real, it's fucking real - like you always said," he insisted, watching you and Tommy exchange unsure looks. "Tommy, Y/N," he tried to rein in your attention, but his brother was staring out the door's window as if to judge how quick he could get to the cantina to save his wife and unborn child from a potential Infected child. "Tommy," he spoke a little gruffer, earning his brother's attention again, "I saw her get bit myself. That was months ago... Months."

You chuckled, shaking your head, "Nah, 'cause that can't be, all right? There's no such thing as - "

"She's immune," Joel emphasized.

"She can't be," you still refused, "it's not a real thing. I searched, Joel, I tired - "

"Hang on," Tommy sighed at you, rounding around the tables to pull out a stool and take his seat. "Let's just hear him out, babygirl. Gotta be worth at least that much, right? He came all this way - and Marlene told Ellie 'bout you. You've been searchin' for a cure - "

"I gave that up," you scoffed.

"Still - let's hear him out."

You just stared at Joel for a long moment, then hoisted yourself to sit on top of the workbench. "All right. All right, fine, yeah, I guess I've heard some pretty hard-to-believe things in my life, why not add another?"

"That's the spirit," Tommy encouraged, readjusting in his seat, gesturing at his brother to go on.

"From the beginning, Joel, and don't skip a Goddamn detail," you frowned at your estranged husband.

"It was Marlene," Joel started. "She hired us to smuggle Ellie to some Fireflies. It went bad. Tess got bit... She made me swear to take the kid. It was her dyin' wish, even said... Said I had to - sayin' I owed that much." A tear fell as he told you, "Said it was a way towards absolution, like we wanted, doll. What the hell was I supposed to do?"

You saw the struggle in his eyes and heard the tremble in his voice, nodding slowly as if to validate his decision. Joel sniffled, continuing, "We made it as far as K.C., and then..."

"And then?" You asked softly, hanging off every word.

"You know, she saved my life there from another kid. Five years ago, I would've destroyed him. But she had to shoot him to save me." Both you and Tommy bowed your heads at this, reminded of your own years in the wild. "14-years-old. Because I was too slow and too fuckin' deaf to hear him comin'... And I saw," he paused, shaking his head to clear the thoughts away, "I saw a man kill his own brother to save her, while I just watched. And today, I thought that dog was gonna tear her apart because it smelled somethin' on her," his voice wobbled, tears in his eyes mounting; emotion clawing at his chest. "And all I did was stand there. I couldn't move. I couldn't think of anythin' to say. I just... I was so afraid," Joel admitted tearfully. Tommy readjusted again, his eyes locked with yours as if having a telepathic conversation - which you might as well have been. You both believed Joel. "You think I can still handle things, but... I'm not who I was. I'm weak." And your heart shattered at the words directed at your husband's little brother. "Lately, there are these moments where the fear comes up outta nowhere and... My heart... Feels like it's stopped."

You wanted to open your mouth and scream at him how wrong he was, that he was the strongest man you had known, but the truth was... You didn't know Joel anymore. When you left years ago, you had just barely settled in Boston after years wondering the wilderness; years of slaughter, years of savagery, years of ruthlessness. Years of betraying your fellow man in the wake of this Infection - turning against rational logic and becoming that which haunted your waking and dreaming moments.

You had been ashamed of what you did. Who your anger turned you into. What your husband did - and encouraged others to do as well. Those who followed your group turned to a life of murdering and pillaging and rampaging. They did as Joel did; did as you and Tommy had done, but you seemingly wisened up first.

So, you left, and in turn, inspired others to break away, too. Tommy turned to the Fireflies, but Joel and Tess turned to a life of smuggling. It seemed the only thing left to boost their morale, gave them some kind of purpose in the Boston QZ.

"And I have dreams," Joel continued, shaking you from memories of the past. "Every night."

"What kinda dreams?" Tommy asked his brother.

"I don't know. I can't remember. I just know that when I wake up, I've lost somethin'," now, the tears strangled him. "I'm failin' in my sleep, it's all I do. It's all I've ever done - just look at what I did to you, Y/N, what I did to you and our girls," tears rapidly broke his waterline, "our gorgeous, innocent girls - I failed you and then I failed them. And now all I ever do is fail her, again and again."

"You want us to take her," Tommy realized first.

"I'm just gonna get her killed, I know it. I know it. I have to leave her."

"Yeah? You 'have' to leave?" You found your voice, sounding angry, but when Joel looked at you, he found tears in your eyes as well. "You thought you had t'leave us, too, and how well did that work? Joel - "

"It's why you left, right, baby? It's why you both took off on me, right? To make up for the things we did?" With a shake of your head, you looked away, Joel focusing on his brother, "Well, here's your chance to bring your kid into a better world. You're younger than me. You're still strong, you said it yourself, you'll come back. You have to take her. And Y/N, you left in search of redemption, of absolution - I'm giving that to you after I took so much of your innocence. Forced you into a world of hurt, right? I need you t'do this, it's all you've wanted, please, let me give this to you."

Except, Tommy looked distraught for a long moment; throat swollen as his eyes found yours. You reached out to pet the back of his head, sighing, "Tommy can't take her, Joel. He's got too much t'lose now, but, uh... I-I can. I can go, I can take her."

"Babygirl's made the most trips out of all of us," Tommy explained. "She always comes back... She should go, Ellie would be safest with her."

You nodded and Joel rushed, "But you can't tell anyone, not even Maria." Tommy looked ready to argue, but Joel told you two, "Tommy, Y/N, you two are the only ones I trust, if anyone else sees those bite marks on her, what's under her skin, they'll shoot her."

Joel could almost see the way your mind reeled back 20 years prior to when Sarah had been shot; dying right in front of you both with her blood staining your skin. How neither of her parents were able to save her.

"It's the last thing I'll ever ask of you - either of you," Joel rushed. "I swear."

You sighed, looking down at Tommy, but he was already looking at you. "You're not goin', Tommy," you decided, "gotta stay here with Maria. But, uh... Yeah," you told Joel, "yeah, all right, I'll take her out at dawn. But on one condition."

"Anything."

"You tell that girl the truth. She doesn't deserve no type of lie or half-assed answers. Tell her the truth, Joel."

"I will," he whimpered.

"Tommy, give us a minute, would yah, babe?" You whispered, patting your brother-in-law on the shoulder.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, go on, can catch the end of the movie," you encouraged.

"You know, I can go with y'all - "

"Not a chance in hell," you smirked, "Maria would have my hide. Go on now, git," you shooed, waiting until he was out of the shed before sitting in his vacant stool. "Now, Joel..."

"I know it's insane, I know how it all sounds - "

"That's not it," you cut him off with a frown. "I'm concerned about you, honey. You say you have these dreams every night, but I know that's a lie - just look at yah! Look as if you haven't known sleep in fuckin' months."

"I guess, I haven't? Maybe even in 15 years..."

"Mhm," you hummed before sighing and bowing your head. "Look," you decided, "I'll do what needs done - I'll do whatever you ask of me. You know I will. But I think you and I need t'clear the air, get some truths between us."

"Okay. Like what?"

"Like why the hell you really came all the way out here?"

He stared at you for a moment, shrugging, "T'find Tommy."

"Mhm, why'd you wait until now?"

"I wasn't - we didn't have a car battery until Bill and Frank's."

"Right, and then?"

"Got attacked in K.C.. Been on foot since then."

You sighed, "And Tess? She gonna pop up out here, too? Lookin' for you? The way we stay safe, Joel, is bein' smart - "

"She's dead, remember? Got bit..."

"Well, with this whole immune thing, just thought I'd clarify." There was a suspended silence for several heartbeats. "You all right? I know she was special to yah."

Joel shrugged, "Hurt more when you left..."

"Don't try t'flatter me now, I'm already takin' the kid - "

"I'm serious, baby, please," he insisted. "Yeah, fuckin' hurt when Tess got bit, but nothin' hurt like what happened to us. To our family."

You nodded, "Listen, about that..."

"What?"

You sighed deeply, rubbing your hands together before admitting, "I've had a lot of time t'think about all that went down. And for any and all parts I played, I am sorry." His eyes filled with tears again. "I knew you were struggling after," you paused, swallowing harshly, "you know, a-after Sarah and Delilah, and instead of us tryna figure shit out together, we let our anger take control."

"Not like we had any other option."

"We did," you nodded. "Bein' out here? Helpin' build this place? Meetin' all these people? Yeah," you scoffed, "there were other options, but our anger made us blind. Ain't all our fault... But for what we did? Joel - "

"I know," he rushed, wiping his cheeks. "I know, it was fucked."

"More than fucked. We murdered people, Joel."

"I remember."

"I'm haunted by it, I keep - fuck's sake," you laughed ruefully. "I keep tryna make up for it all. You know? Out here, I'm alive, I'm able and capable, but at night, yeah, darlin', I'm haunted, too. No amount of good I put into this world is ever gonna make up for the horrors we committed."

"And now?"

You nodded and huffed, "Now, it looks like I get one last shot at redemption. This girl, this... Ellie. She really immune?"

"Hand to God, I swear she is. She got bit when Tess did, and while Tess' wound turned dark and started to fester - her's was clean. Just barely a mark by then."

"Jesus," you considered. "It's what we've all been waiting for, huh?"

"It's what you've been searchin' for," he agreed.

"No shit. All right, well, how 'bout that?" You cleared your throat, asking, "Why the university?"

"Firefly doctors and shit - thinkin' they can, I don't even know, like..."

"Like, what? Find a-a cure? Ain't no curin' this shit - I mean, at most, it'd be like a vaccination."

"Then that's what it is. Listen, sugar, you sure about this? Taking her, I mean?"

"Joel," you half-smiled, "I've been unsure of a lot of things since we lost our girls, but the idea that I can give other parents - like Tommy and Maria - more time with their kids? That's a risk I gotta take. For Sarah and Delilah, right?"

"For Sarah and Delilah," he agreed, the tears cracking his stony exterior again. You stood swiftly and opened your arms as you stepped into him; Joel shooting out of his seat to meet you. He latched his arms around your waist, sobbing into your neck and shoulder. "I'm so sorry, baby, I'm so fuckin' sorry. F-For fuckin' everything - "

"Shhh," you shushed him, tears of your own surfacing to stream down your cheeks. "Hey, 's all right. You're here now, you're here, finally with me, it's all right, Joel. You're okay."

"I'm so sorry, so fuckin' sorry. For how I was when you were pregnant and after, I never should've - and-and now, we don't get the chance t'be with them and it's my fault for wasting that time - "

Your heart felt lighter as you admitted, "I forgave you a long time ago, baby. It's okay."

Joel held on all the tighter. He didn't deserve forgiveness, but God, did he crave it. He wanted absolution, to be absolved of his past; even before the Outbreak, he wasn't perfect. But to hear you forgive him shattered him into fragments he'd never glue back together. Because he knew, deep in his soul, he didn't deserve it.

Perhaps, maybe you knew he didn't deserve forgiveness, too. But you had no place to judge, that wasn't your job; so, you did the only thing you could and forgave him. How could you move forward if still stuck in the past? Look at Joel now: haunted, depressed, panicked. He still dwelled in a time that would never come again, but you didn't want to turn out like that, so you welcomed forgiveness.

It made you feel lighter. Brighter.

So, whether it was selfish of you or not, whether he deserved it or not, you forgave him.

And in that tool shed, for at least another hour, you stood there, crying, petting the other's hair in soothing motions; rambling about moving forward now that he was finally with you again. Joel hated to admit it, but a small part of him felt happy... Elated... Excited for whatever was to come - because he had you back.

For years, he thought you were dead. For years, he grieved. For years, he let his self-hatred grow and fester; in turn, hurting those around him because the concept of forgiving himself was impossible.

And now, 21 years of turmoil was buried in the snow as you sobbed how much you missed each other. How life would look different from here out. How this mission with Ellie would be your last - the final step towards redeeming yourselves for the hateful, savage behavior of your pasts. Joel never thought he'd feel this feeling again, but here you were, in his arms, hand thread through his greying curls; promising that you would stay by him if he stayed by you.

A vow renewal of sorts.

Joel had to bite his tongue to stop from scolding you that you shouldn't cave this easily - but he understood, it wasn't easy. 15 years since you saw him, 21 since you've been a real couple; this decision wasn't easily made, and he could acknowledge that.

"C'mon," you mused, lacing your hand with his, "you've got some explainin' t'do t'the kid and I've gotta pack. And then, you're gonna get a shower with hot water and soap, and then you're gonna crawl in bed with me, and we're gonna sleep."

"Sounds too good t'be true, darlin'."

"What? A shower and a bed is farfetched but immunity isn't?" You teased, tugging his hand to lead him out.

"No... Bein' with you again just doesn't feel real."

"Well, believe it, baby. Aht! Boots!"

For the first time in possibly 21 years, Joel actually laughed. He let you discard his old, worn-out, falling-apart boots and laced his brand new ones on; once more taking your hand, and heading into the night. He glanced around the courtyard, musing, "So, where'd you get the Christmas shit?"

"Carefully," you teased. "But the kids make most of the wreaths."

"Art projects?"

"Yeah. It's a sliver of normalcy - not that they ever know it. Honestly, most of the decorations are for the adults, it reminds them of what once was. It's nostalgic, comforting."

"Yeah... Yeah, somethin' like that. Oh, uh, speaking of decor bein' for the adults, I, uh, I brought you somethin'."

"You... You brought me a present?" You scoffed. "You didn't even know I was out here - that I was alive!"

"I-I guess I brought it for me, but now that you're here, I want you to have it. To remind us of our girls... If that's okay?"

"Well, you know me, darlin' - I never say no to presents," you teased with a grin, squeezing his hand.

[ pt. 2: read here ]

[ part one: Not So Heavenly Surprise: read here ]

requesting rules and masterlist

TLOU masterlist

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sunderwight · 1 year ago

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Crack SVSSS Mpreg AU where when Shen Yuan transmigrates in, the system impregnates him with the displaced soul of the original Shen Qingqiu.

For the purposes of this AU, we'll say that male pregnancies or trans men being pregnant in the PIDW universe are uncommon but not especially noteworthy concepts.

So now not only does he have to deal with recovering from his qi deviation and of course being pressed into the role of the scum villain from the novel he was just reading, he's also mysteriously knocked up, can't explain it, and doesn't even know for sure if the baby will recollect being Shen Jiu when its born -- and of course hate him for stealing the Shen Qingqiu life.

What's more, Shen Yuan can't bring himself to get rid of it, because he does have mixed feelings about stealing Shen Jiu's life as well. Even though he knows it's probably the best tactical move, and he doesn't even like Shen Jiu, and the system has said there wouldn't be any penalties because it wouldn't impact the major important plot milestones, he opts to just... keep it. And not think too hard about it.

Luckily(?) cultivators have a lot of control over their bodies, which means a pregnancy can last however long they want it to, so Shen Yuan doesn't have to worry about giving birth in a hurry. SJ seems fine in utero, stalling his development doesn't have adverse effects, so Shen Yuan just swears Mu Qingfang to secrecy and figures out how to keep his pregnancy at the early stages for as long as possible while he hashes everything else out. So apart from internal freak-outs, most of the early plot proceeds as usual.

Unluckily(?), this state of affairs changes when Shen Qingqiu gets infected with Without-a-Cure, as that makes it so that putting off the inevitable is no longer a viable course of action. He can't spare the extra energy and doesn't have the stability of cultivation required to mess around with his pregnancy anymore, so things have to proceed at a more normal rate.

Which means the other peak lords and the disciples on Qing Jing find out that Shen Qingqiu has been harboring a secret pregnancy for an undetermined length of time. Shen Yuan has to bite the bullet and use the amnesia excuse to explain his lack of insight to the existence of any other parents (he's surprised it works so well, because he doesn't know that the rest of the sect has already figured out he doesn't remember some things after his fever), which inspires a lot of behind-the-scenes chaos because everyone has ALSO figured out that Shen Qingqiu's amnesia seems to pertain to things that must have traumatized him in the past.

So if he's pregnant, and he lost his memories of how he got that way...

Well. Cang Qiong is now on the hunt for an attacker who might already be dead and doesn't actually exist.

But everyone agrees that Shen Qingqiu doesn't need to be troubled by these details, so if he's okay with not remembering, then they're okay with letting him not remember. The only one who tries to bring it up is Liu Qingge, and that's mostly in the context of wanting clues so he can track down the culprit and stab them until they are dead.

Luo Binghe supports the quest to find the persona responsible and violently murder them, but as a disciple he has no resources to actually go on some wild goose chase for a mystery rapist. Besides, he has more important things to do on the peak, like making Shizun's meals, keeping Shizun's house, and preparing to help raise Shizun's baby. Luo Binghe is not going to be the stepdad, he is going to be the dad who stepped up! (Binghe please cool your jets you're like fifteen you're going to give your future shizun whole new inner turmoil about whether it's possible to accidentally babytrap your own teenage disciple via immaculate conception reincarnation pregnancy...)

Anyway eventually baby SJ arrives, and Shen Yuan immediately decides to block all recollections of the childbirth process and never dwell on it again. Something happened, he's no longer going to think about it, oh look a baby! A potentially evil villain baby. With cute widdle toes and tiny fingers and a squished, grumpy baby face that gets all red when he cries...

Yeah. Despite his reservations, there's no way he's not getting attached.

He gets Binghe to help him pick out a name for the baby, partly because he feels terribly presumptuous when he actually knows this kid's real name (but he can hardly call his son "Shen Jiu"), partly to encourage Luo Binghe to have some fondness for the kid so that if he someday hates his old shizun, he might still spare his "son" from his revenge. Even though it's actually SJ's fault. Well, he's a baby now. He probably doesn't even remember anything! He sure does cry a lot! Would the OG villain cry and fuss and settle down only after being sufficiently cuddled?

Turns out, yes. Shen Jiu remembers everything from before his fatal qi deviation. He's just also still an infant. So what can he do but cry? And maybe pee on the beast and that body-stealing creature that has reduced him to this. He spends most of his early infancy waiting for someone to come smother him with a pillow, but the conspirators must want to keep him alive for some reason, because it doesn't happen. Instead he gets looked after and soothed and taken care of in a way he never has been. Also, his stupid baby instincts keep insisting that the creature which stole his body is actually the safest person in the whole world.

It's like a cruel joke. SJ finally gets the childhood he always wanted deep down inside, but the one giving it to him is some kind of monster.

#svsss #scum villain's self saving system #scum villain #bingqiu #mpreg #long post #sj's gonna be a toddler by the time the abyss arc rolls around #that's gonna be a whole entire mess

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floating--goblin · 2 months ago

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On Jutty Taylor and the new era

It's been roughly five months since an alleged victim of Jutty Taylor has come out accusing him of inappropriate conduct. With the dawn of a new era for Ghost and Taylor seemingly having been kept in the band, let us refresh our memory on the story.

This is not going to be an essay in defense of Taylor; I have no stake in this game and win nothing by sheltering a possible predator. I simply want to present the facts, as they are, as logically as possible, giving both sides the benefit of the doubt required, as in a court of law. The decision on where to stand is ultimately yours.

I will preface this with a disclaimer: the alleged victim is fifteen years old. I realize children aren't the most apt at relaying important details about complicated subjects such as a legal case or police investigation, so I will be extra lenient on their relaying of said details because it's entirely possible for a frightened child to constantly misspeak.

That being said, it does unfortunately make the case even more murky. The account should have been handled by the victim's parents, especially after backlash against the victim swept through social media. The fact no legal guardian has stepped in at best paints a disheartening picture of the victim's home life, and at worst weakens the case against Taylor.

As for me, I'm admittedly no scholar and this is a different justice system than my country's own, but I am a law student and know a thing or two which, I believe, would help offer a more in-depth view of the situation.

Finally, I cannot stress this enough: believe victims first. Yes, I fully stand by that statement. I do not however stand for "believe victims always, without or against proof", and while I am again not here to prove one point or another, some details about the case do not add up and it important to get the full picture, all the facts, as they are. That is my entire goal here, I cannot stress enough how little I want to get into a spat about this. This is meant to be a full report and only that.

Moving along-

On October 10th of 2024, the victim, named Grace, made this thread to Twitter, alleging that on March 8th of that year she attended a Drag Talk show, where she met Taylor. While taking pictures with him, she claims that Taylor's hand "fell on her backside", that when she tried pulling away his hand moved to her waist and that he pulled her closer, and that finally he put his hand under her jacket and groped her chest.

This is the only picture of the incident that Grace has provided, and according to her the only one that was taken that night. She also clarified later that behind them is a mirror, not the rest of the room.

Grace's friend Kuro has also posted these threads providing additional text conversations from after the incident, between them and Grace as well as Grace and another friend, where Grace recounted "feeling violated" and obviously distressed:

Thread one

Thread two

After this, several other accounts have come out making various allegations, none of which are of the same severity but which are of course equally important to take into consideration. These are as follows:

A thread by user olliesoleil alleging predatory intent in messages exchanged with Taylor. It should be noted that as of 2024, Ollie was 19.

A thread from another 19 year old named Logan, in which he claims that Taylor made flirty comments toward him.

An alleged message exchange from Taylor's ex girlfriend, aged 23 in 2024, no date or context given for the messages provided. Of note however is that they seemed to have been in a relationship around the time she turned 20.

Of note is also that no conversations with any ex-girlfriends were ever shown.

On November 24, Grace followed up by informing people following the story that the police were informed.

As of writing this post in March of 2025, there have been no more updates on this case. Grace has also urged any other possible victims to speak up and to reach out to LAPD or their local police force, but no one else seems to have stepped up since.

That is the last update we got from Grace.

Moving on to the other party involved, Taylor himself posted this one day after the allegations were publicized, following it with a more in-depth post and apology the next day.

On March 5th of 2025, Ghost has also posted a music video for their first release of the new album Skeletá, which features Taylor, implying his continued involvement with the band. The actual date of filming for the video is uncertain, as is whether or not Taylor's contract with Ghost has been renewed for the upcoming tour, as we all know the Ghouls are tour-only members and not officially a part of Ghost.

Taylor has not posted on his Twitter or Instagram since, and has not had a public presence online. None of his friends/bandmates have spoken about this either.

And now comes the difficult part: dissecting and putting everything in context fairly and coherently.

From the evidence shown, one thing we can reasonably agree on is that Jutty Taylor has a penchant for dating younger women, or is at least not put off by being involved with them. From videos of him and his stage demeanor it is also clear that he skews on the flirtier side, and is infamous for being very physically close with his bandmates regardless of gender.

That being said, all of the people involved here, save for Grace, are of age. Morality of age gaps aside, none of this falls into the sphere of illegality.

Furthermore, Ollie and Logan's claims are based on subjective interpretations of conversations. Logan has not provided as much as a paraphrasing of the "flirty comments" said to him by Taylor, and Ollie's conversation (link 1, link 2) shows them matching Taylor's level of enthusiasm, and in their thread they state that they thought nothing of the interactions at the time, only revising their stance in light of Grace's story coming out. All of which is, of course, valid. However, they were of age, thus nothing in the text exchange is illegal, nor can stand as evidence of predatory intent; it is purely a subjective view.

Similarly, Ferlizee's claims are offered without context or proof, and she was also of age throughout the relationship. Any assertion in the thread surrounding her that Taylor knew her before she was of age are unsubstantiated, as there is simply no source for them. She has since also deleted her accounts, which makes investigating the matter more difficult.

All this is to say, the only conclusion we can extract from these three accounts is that Taylor is perhaps overly friendly, that his sense of humor is perhaps easily misconstrued, and that his preference in partners skews on the younger side- although it should be noted that the only actual confirmed partner of his that we know of is Ferlizee, who was again of age. Any claims that he was or is currently dating Olivia Morreale are pure speculation and have never been proven, and she, too, is of age.

This is important, and I will make an aside about it, because it is a problem running rampant in the fanbase: we don't know anything about the ghouls' private lives. Nothing is black and white, and even the things they share with us may have more layers than initially apparent. Regardless of how close Jutty and Liv seem, we have never received confirmation that they are involved in any way besides being friends, and implying otherwise simply because of said closeness is a narrow-minded, puritanical way of viewing relationships between men and women. It is also massively invasive to dig into their personal lives.

Putting this through a human lens however, yes, it does not build up a case in his favor. If I may be subjective for a moment, it's not exactly the most moral thing to date 20 year olds in your 40s; but it also does not prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are a child predator. Twenty year olds are also capable of making informed decisions, and while protecting a demographic who has historically been victimized (ie young women) is important, it is also important not to infantilize grown adults. Determining whether or not Ferlizee or Liv are mature enough to be dating a 43 year old would require knowing them personally; in the same vein, determining how mature Jutty is and the kind of power he holds is also impossible, as despite his seniority he does not have the same base level of leverage over a person in their twenties that he would over a child.

So, alright. We've established the other alleged victims' cases are perhaps a bit shaky. What about Grace?

To start, she recounts that the picture offered was taken before the show, which, while uncommon for musicians to do and contradicting with Jutty's own statement, is still possible as either party's memory of the event may be poor. She also claims that there was a mirror behind her and Taylor's backs as they took the picture, in which you can see several people, at least one of them facing the incident. Now, this is important because it gives us witnesses: the friend taking the picture, and at least one person poised to see the event. At the time the picture was taken, Grace recounts that Taylor's hand was on her backside, which is credible as the mirror doesn't fall that far down, making it so the perpetrator could act unseen.

It should be noted that Taylor's arm doesn't appear to be angled toward the victim in a way that would suggest he was touching her, but it is still possible his forearm was bent toward her backside. That is important!

Next, as recounted, Taylor grabbed the victim by the waist, then put his hands underneath her jacket to grab her by the chest. The duration of this sequence of events is not specified, so it's unclear whether this could be passed off as an accident as Taylor claims, or if it was definitively an intentional case of groping. In the latter's case though, this was (once again) happening in the middle of a venue, with witnesses around and the victim's friend either holding or having just held a camera pointed at the scene. The fact no more pictures were taken is of course believable, but the fact no one else- not even the friend that was present- have come out is cause for doubt. A majority of Drag Talk fans have come from Ghost and travel from other states to see the band; they may not be a huge sensation, but they've gained some traction lately that would ensure at least one witness present would have taken to the internet to expose Jutty as a predator.

Messages between Grace and said friend were also very limited and the friend's response was offered incomplete, and it would appear that they remained somewhat lukewarm to Grace's feelings, which is a questionable attitude for someone who witnessed a full on sexual assault. That can however be written off as shock, we're talking about young teenagers here.

In terms of Taylor's own statement on the matter, if we assume these were fleeting gestures and that the part where he allegedly put his hands into Grace's jacket didn't happen, one can make the argument that he was attempting to initiate some friendly physical affection with a fan, which backfired purely by accident with his hands falling where they shouldn't have, a gesture which was misunderstood. This doesn't change the fact Grace felt violated, but it would also not make Taylor the perpetrator of a crime, only irresponsible.

Moving on to the legal case. As mentioned above, Grace claims to have reported this to the police, who have filed a case against Taylor. However given the evidence presented, the police would not have been able to do much beyond filing a report and possibly questioning Taylor about it. The evidence given is not strong enough to build a case on, especially for the LAPD, which is notoriously terrible with sexual assault cases.

To put it simply, the likelihood of Jutty having been investigated at any point is minimal. Even if the complaint fell in the hands of a serious officer, there is nothing to build a case on. It is possible Grace has more evidence that wasn't posted to Twitter, though it is doubtful as she is only fifteen, handling this on her own, and facing major backlash- all of which would have pushed her to offer everything she had, or to at least specify there was evidence she would only give to the authorities. Otherwise this would be a "he-said-she-said" situation, which would go nowhere with the police.

It is also possible however that she misspoke or misunderstood what was happening, and that police were involved, despite charges never being formally filed. In that case, a cursory investigation is the most that could have happened.

The lack of updates over the past five months offers some credence to this theory, as despite the legal system working slowly, if an investigation were to happen and charges filed, Jutty would risk being placed on the sex offender registry, which, while by itself doesn't ban him from travel altogether, would make him unable to enter certain countries- which of course would be detrimental to a world tour with Ghost, leading Tobias to terminate his contract. He has done so with Chris Catalyst over (as far as speculation goes) administrative issues with employing a UK citizen after Brexit, so he's not averse to firing ghouls for purely fiscal matters, should the morality of working with a predator not be enough of a motivator.

It must be reiterated that we don't know whether the music video for Satanized was filmed before or after the allegations, and whether Taylor has been hired for the upcoming tour; but it does stand to reason that, should these charges be credible and should there be a legal case against Taylor, that Tobias would have at least had his cameo in the video edited out or the video re-shot. Again, even if you don't believe Tobias would have done so because of the grisly nature of this crime itself, he would have surely done it to protect the band's image and profits. It stands to reason then that Taylor's presence does not pose a risk as Tobias himself has no reason to consider the allegations credible.

Now yes, being put on the registry happens after a conviction- but again, should there be credibility to this case, Tobias would have fired Jutty before a conviction happened so as to spare himself the financial and legal troubles, as Jutty would not have been able to reliably attend work due to court dates and a potential conviction looming over his head. In short, he would have been a liability that Tobias would simply not take, had this actually gone to the police. So why would Grace make this claim?

A minor additional point is that this case has not been publicized anywhere in any capacity, and that any attorney's first course of action would have been to advise Grace to scrub her account clean as, should justice rule in favor of Taylor, he could then use her posts to sue for libel. This advice is pretty much industry standard.

On the other hand this of course does not change the reality of whether or not he is guilty, as the legal system is massively fallible, especially in cases of sexual assault. I'm certainly not putting my faith in either the police or other men, because we know they tend to protect one another at any cost. Taylor's friends continuing to stay by his side and work with him aren't the strongest judge of his character, as bias exists.

In conclusion, what do we have? What's the TL;DR?

In truth, not much. This came out of left field and rocked the fanbase because it is obviously a horrifying possibility, and I command each and every one of you for the dedication to call potential criminals in our midst out. It takes a lot to demand accountability from someone you admire.

What is my opinion? I am no judge, I can't rule in either direction, and I am not interested in airing out my subjective views. This report has been composed as impartially as possible, using the circumstantial evidence available and doing as little speculation as possible, in order to offer people a full overview of the story. If you only knew of this from hearsay, now you have all the evidence arranged in one post for easy consumption. If you think you may have been influenced in one direction or the other by someone, now you may form an opinion of your own.

Moving forward I think the right course of action would be to stop idolizing celebrities, and to indeed stop viewing them as anything but ambiguous strangers from a moral standpoint. Even working under the assumption that Jutty is completely innocent, he still seems to be someone of more questionable morals than fans initially thought; which, while not a crime, is understandably disappointing. To prevent such disappointment in the future, I think we ought to remember we will never know these people personally, and that people are fallible and complex and that mistakes can happen, and that it's always important to take a critical eye to everything you see or hear.

That's all I had to say, goodbye and goodnight and hail our new Papa V.

#the band ghost #jutty taylor #jutty ranx #ghost bc #swiss ghoul #idk fuckin. more tags! woo tags be upon ye!#please don't send me death threats im so tired #drag talk #skeletour

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mashtatosworld · 2 months ago

Text

on set

summary: you're a trainee make-up artist for Big Bang, but you're more than that to him

Working with Big Bang was easily the best part of your apprenticeship.

Unlike other artists who wanted layers of product, constant touch-ups, and precise contouring, the guys mostly required light work: a bit of foundation, some powder, a touch of eyeliner if the concept called for it.

It made your job more enjoyable, especially since they treated you like part of the team rather than just another staff member.

It made for a relaxed atmosphere in the makeup trailer, where laughter and teasing were as common as powder brushes and eyeliner pencils.

Seunghyun was the worst at sitting still, always shifting in his chair when you tried to fix his brows, even running away when you brought out the tweezers. While Daesung, ever the considerate one, sat perfectly still and thanked you each time you adjusted something. Youngbae, being the perfectionist he was, always asked to check his reflection halfway through, nodding in approval before letting you continue.

But Jiyong?

Jiyong made your job interesting.

The others mostly kept things professional, but he had a habit of getting under your skin - both figuratively and literally. He was always touching, always leaning, always there.

If he wasn’t stealing your makeup brushes to twirl between his fingers or teasingly drag over your nose while you were moisturising his skin, then he was casually resting his chin on your shoulder while you worked on someone else, peering at your technique like an inquisitive cat.

The worst part?

You didn’t even mind.

You kind of liked it.

𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪

“Is that my sandwich?” you asked, watching as he took another bite of the meal you had left on the table - having stepped away only for a moment to grab your compact mirror.

Jiyong glanced up from his phone, completely unbothered. “You left it unattended. That’s a free-for-all.”

You narrowed your eyes. “That was my lunch.”

He had the audacity to smirk, chewing slowly before holding up the other half. “You can still have the rest.”

"Keep it." You rolled your eyes, being extra forceful as you dabbed his face with powder. But the damn smirk never dropped from his face.

The next day was the same.

You had left your breakfast bar on the make up table and when you returned, it was half-eaten, carefully wrapped back up again like he hadn't taken several bites.

You snatched it from the table with a huff, but before you could start eating, he reached into his bag and pulled out a small container.

“I got you something,” he said, placing it in front of you.

You frowned, eyeing the packaging. “What is it?”

“Kimchi fried rice,” he replied, shrugging. “Figured you’d want something better than a cereal bar anyway. And we can share this.”

Your heart did a dumb little flip at the casual way he said it.

Daesung, who had been watching the exchange, snickered. “You guys act more like a couple than some actual couples I know.”

Jiyong didn’t even blink. “She’s madly in love with me,” he said, shooting you a playful grin.

You rolled your eyes. “Oh yeah, totally.”

Totally.

Because you couldn’t ignore the warmth spreading through your chest as you dug into the food he had brought you.

𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪

After that, you two frequently shared lunches together, eating quietly to one side. Sometimes he was keen to speak, other times, you two ate in comfortable silence.

But these interactions had clearly been noticed by others.

One afternoon, while you were fixing the lipstick of one of the lead models for the music video, she brought it up.

“Hey make up girl,” she said smoothly, her tone edged with something sharp. “You and GDragon seem… close.”

You blinked, caught off guard. “Oh, uh… I guess? We work together a lot.”

She hummed, lips pursed as if she wasn’t convinced. Then, without hesitation, she asked, “Can you ask him out for me?”

You nearly choked. “What?”

She flipped her hair over her shoulder, giving you a look like it was obvious. “I’ve been wanting to get drinks with him, but he hasn't spoken to me yet. Since you’re close, I need you to set it up.”

You hesitated.

On one hand, you didn’t want to.

You liked Jiyong - more than you probably should.

But on the other hand, she was a well-known model in the industry, and refusing her could put your job at risk. She was demanding. You'd spent most of the week fetching her sparkling water or finding her phone as if you were her personal assistant.

So, against your better judgment, you agreed.

Later, when Jiyong was sitting in a makeup chair waiting for a quick touch-up, you carefully approached him. You took a deep breath, trying to sound casual. “Hey, um, are you busy later?”

He turned his head toward you, intrigued. “Why?”

“There’s this downtown bar,” you said carefully, watching his expression. “And I know someone that would like to go with you.”

Jiyong blinked, then smirked. “You mean you?”

You froze. “What?”

He chuckled, shaking his head like he found your shyness cute. “Why not just say it? Of course I’ll go with you. I had wanted to ask you first, but I guess you beat me to it.”

Your mouth opened, then shut. You were completely stunned. This was not how this was supposed to go.

But before you could correct him, he was already grinning, standing up and lightly pinching your cheek. “Cute. You should’ve just told me earlier, Jagi.”

Jagi?!

From that moment on, everything shifted.

Jiyong treated you like his girlfriend.

He started calling you pet names, saving a seat for you beside him in the van, throwing an arm around you in between takes. At one point, he even pulled you onto his lap when there were no seats left, completely unbothered by the way staff and models alike stared.

And the model? Oh, she was fuming.

She spent the rest of the day on set making your life miserable.

The final straw had been when she 'accidentally' knocked your makeup brushes onto the floor, forcing you to scramble and clean them up before someone slipped on one.

Your mentor had scolded you, sending you away to go clean them with an annoyed tut. By the time the day was winding down, you were exhausted.

You couldn��t take it anymore. You were standing at the sink as you washed the brushes with a scowl.

That’s where Jiyong found you.

“Hey,” he called, voice softer than usual. “I was looking for you.”

You didn’t answer right away, focusing on the brushes. He stepped closer, leaning against the counter. “So, about our date tonight - ”

“I might not be able to go,” you interrupted quietly, not meeting his eyes.

Jiyong frowned. “Why not?”

You swallowed, watching the muted colours stain the porcelain sink. “Because I might be fired before I leave today.”

His entire demeanour shifted. “What?”

You exhaled shakily. “She - ” You didn’t need to say her name. You both knew. “She’s been making my life hell all day. I think she’s trying to sabotage me. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s already complained to my boss. And if she does…”

Jiyong’s jaw tightened. Then he said, voice firm, “If anyone’s going to be fired, it’s her.”

Your eyes widened slightly, caught off guard by his seriousness. “Jiyong - ”

“Don’t worry about it,” he interrupted. “Just focus on our date later.”

You put the brushes down and wiped your hands on your jeans. “That’s still happening?”

He gave you a look like you were crazy. “Of course.” Then, softer, “You still want to, right?”

You hesitated. Not because you didn’t want to, but because you hadn’t really thought about what this all meant.

But the idea of going on a real date with Jiyong - of being his, even if just for a night - excited you.

He studied you carefully, waiting for your answer.

Finally, you nodded. “Yeah. I do.”

A slow, satisfied smirk spread across his lips. He took a step forward, trapping you against the counter, his hands bracing on either side of you.

“Good,” he murmured. Then, before you could react, he leaned in and kissed you - soft, slow, but with enough confidence to make your knees weak.

When he pulled back, his voice was a whisper against your lips.

“I wouldn’t have taken no for an answer.”

Your mood significantly improved after that.

Nothing could ruin your high.

Especially when, the next morning, you arrived on set to find that the model had been replaced.

And Jiyong?

Well, let’s just say he was more than happy to continue calling you Jagi.

𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪

this will probably be a part of a mini collection 😝

taglist: @petersasteria, @mirahyun , @allthoughtsmindfull , @gdinthehouseee , @infinetlyforgotten , @redhoodedtoad , @kathaelipwse , @lxvemaze , @loveesiren , @sherrayyyyy , @getyoassoutthetrunk , @shieraseastarrs , @ctrldivinev , @xxxicddbr88 , @onyxmango , @tryingtolivelifeblog , @tulentiy , @bettelaboure , @maskedcrawford

#bigbang #kpop #gdragon #kwon jiyong #mashtatosworld #kwon jiyong x reader #gdragon x reader

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dungeonzine · 1 year ago

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Need help prepping your zine portfolio or could use some pointers? Here’s a brief guide for choosing and organizing your works to make a successful portfolio!

Let’s start with artists.

What format should you use? Simple is usually best! Google Drive folders are often preferred because they easily display your work with no extra steps. Carrds, websites, or curated social media work too, so long as there is not extra material or posts hiding your work. Try to have as few clicks before seeing your work as possible, so no need to separate work into folders and certainly don’t require a mod to search your entire page for it—they may not have the time.

Make sure that your work is publicly viewable! Double and triple check that your Drive folder is shared publicly or your websites are not behind a password.

When choosing which pieces to include, always choose your best and most polished work. All works should be complete, in full color, and be fully shaded or rendered. Try to have at least some of your works be approximately something that would be found in a zine, which usually means about A5 sizing. Backgrounds are an essential skill for zines; make sure you show you can draw them well. Of course, sometimes some of these elements are excluded in a piece as a stylistic choice, but all are important skills to show you have.

If possible, try to include the topic of the zine in your portfolio. It does not need to be every single piece. If you only have WIPs or messy work of the topic, then it may not be worth it to include it and that’s alright (though make sure the zine does not require art of the subject when making that decision. Ours does not).

Most zines ask for featured works separate from the portfolio. These are the first things mods look at when evaluating your application. Choose your strongest three (or however many are asked for) pieces as your featured works. Typically, try to include art within the fandom as a featured work if you can. Try to have those vital skills on display in these as well (backgrounds, rendering, etc) so it’s immediately clear you’ve got what it takes.

No need for every piece to hit every point. Try your best for the portfolio together to hit most of them and meanwhile you can work on creating some art specifically to show off anything you’re missing!

There are some things you want to avoid including at risk of weakening your portfolio. A portfolio is only as strong as its weakest piece, so having less pieces is better than having weaker pieces. Only include polished work you’re most proud of. WIPs, sketches, or isolated character work may give the impression that you won’t provide a complete zine piece. Including multiple styles or mediums (especially ones that you wouldn’t be comfortable using for the zine) may confuse a mod as they might not know which you’ll use. If you include multiple styles, make sure that you are skilled and polished enough in all of them to use them for the zine. It’s totally fine to have a smaller portfolio, especially if you’re just starting out—don’t clog it with art that��s not your finest.

Merch portfolios are very similar to page art portfolios, but focus on character-centric work often without backgrounds. Do research on what makes a good merch design, because not all compositions translate well to physical products.

Photographs of merch you’ve made are excellent, but if you don’t have them then you can make mock-ups to help mods understand what you’re envisioning for the final product. Merch portfolios can be a combination of photos, mock-ups, and designs. Print samples may look very similar to a typical page art piece.

If applying as both a page and merch artist, you will likely want to have separate portfolios, as the roles require emphasis on different skills.

Writer portfolios are similar to artist portfolios in that they should contain only your best work. You may also use a Google Drive folder or another hosting website so long as it is highly curated and does not contain many other works to sift through. Typically, zines ask for 3-6 works under 3k words, but double check these numbers with each project you apply to.

If you’re applying to a specific role, such as poetry or article writing, try to have those kinds of samples ready. It may help to make a separate portfolio for those more specific applications.

Here are some other tips! Of course, there’s an infinite amount of ways to make a great portfolio, so if this guide isn’t working for you that’s totally fine. Experiment with different ways if you’d like!

Our applications open soon. Good luck!

Got additional questions? Send an ask here on Tumblr or on our Retrospring! We’re always happy to help or clarify.

Learn more about our Dungeon Meshi zine here!

#zine applications #fandom zine #zine #fanzine #delicious in dungeon #dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi zine #dunmeshi #dungeon meshi anime #artists on tumblr #writers on tumblr

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spongebobiscool · 11 months ago

Text

Summary After receiving an injury from a villan named Boom while working on the job, you were ordered to bed rest for the next weeks. You assumed you’d be spending those weeks alone, but from the knock on your door and the person behind it, you couldn’t be anymore wrong.

Pairings Katsuki Bakugou x reader

WC/ 942

A knock came to your apartment door and you walked up to answer it. To your surprise, it was the Katsuki Bakugou behind it. He had a muscled arm against the doorway, straining all of his muscles. You felt your breath hitch at the sight.

“Well, if it isn’t the Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight,” You said sarcastically. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

He rolled his eyes, painting his usual scowl across his face. “Listen extra-“ oh, here we go, “I just wanted to apologize for today.” He began, his face becoming serious.

Before answering the door, you were busy honing your wounds due to today's villian. He called himself Boom. Boom wanted to be just like Bakugou, a copycat in a way. And he was a tough one, having the power to send explosives kind of like Bakugou’s quirk but a little bit of a cheap knock off. That didn’t mean it was any less painful when he directed explosions your way and sent you flying to the nearest building.

And it really didn’t help when Bakugou took charge of the operation and because of it, the next harsh explosion was sent your way. A quick trip to the hospital later and you were told that you had a sprained ankle, a couple broken ribs and that you’d need to stay off the job for the next few weeks. You didn’t blame him for what happened, you were heros. It happens.

You could see the guilt behind his vermillion colored eyes. It was hard to pick you but you could see it. You shook your head at him, “You don’t need to apologize for anything. Things happen,” you said, shrugging your shoulders.

“But I’m a hero, and I put you in danger. I’m sorry,” he bowed his head to you and you nearly smiled. Who knew Katsuki Bakugou could have so much compassion for others?

With as much as you could, you moved to the side to show him the door. “Would you like to come in?” You asked. He seemed unsure but continued to walk through the door. With your sprained ankle, it was hard to take a step back. Especially because you limped toward the door and left you crutches against the couch.

You couldn’t stop yourself from realizing just how tall and big Katsuki Bakugou was. He wore a black tank top and sweatpants but converted himself off with a jacket. “I have tea if you want some,” you choked out. He nodded and watched you closely.

To get away from his hard stare, you turned on a heel and started walking. “I’ll make you some,” you said, limping out of his way but it took one chord to nearly send you to the floor. Thankfully, strong arms and a hard body grabbed onto your waist to keep you upright.

“I’ll make the tea,” he grumbled. “Now sit ya’ ass down,”

You rolled your eyes and did as he said while he went into the kitchen to make the tea. It didn’t take him long to figure out which one you liked the most. You only had 2 boxes of both you really liked. While the kettle was running, Bakugou went to sit by your side. “What’s all this?” He asked.

You looked down at the bandages and felt your cheeks heat up. “Nothing. I was just cleaning myself up-“

“Let me do it,” the shock hit you like a slap in the face. He wanted to do what? You watched him grab the alcohol and gauze, realizing that he was indeed serious. The wound was a slightly deep cut that hadn’t healed yet. “Where are you hurt?” He asked.

Hesitantly, you turned your back to him. The wound was on a lower region on your shoulder blade and it would require you to nearly remove your top. You pushed your hair out of his way, revealing your naked back to him and the harsh bloody slash that laid in your back.

You winced as he began working on your shoulder, cleaning up as much blood as he could. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I never meant for you to get hurt.”

Wow, you never thought he would felt this guilty for a mistake. Things happen for us heros. It’s never one person's fault and it definitely wasn’t his. You shook your head again. “You don’t need to blame yourself.” You said. “It’s not your fault so please.”

He didn’t say anything after that and continued to clean your wound until he finally bandaged it up with another piece of gauze and a big ass bandaid. You felt his hand hovering over your back and you swallowed hard. The tension was so thick. “Why do you care so much?” You mustered up the strength to ask.

He scoffed. “I’ve always cared-“

You pulled up your shirt and turned to face him. You would’ve cowered from the intensity of his eyes if it wasn’t for the adrenaline rushing through your body and the alcohol you drank earlier. “Not like this,” you countered.

For the first time, you think you’ve might’ve broken him. Bakugou clears his throat and stands up. “I’m gonna check on the tea,”

You stood with him, calling after him, “Katsuki-“

He stopped. He stopped and turned around to face you. “Say that again,” he breathed. His chest rising and falling at a thunderous pace. His eyes, those vermillion colored eyes never left you.

“Say what,”

“My name,” he said. “Say it again,”

All the air left you, “and what if I don’t?”

He shrugged, a smirk playing on his lips as he walked over, towering over you. He pulled you close and you could just then tell the reason as to why he wanted to hear his name so bad. Yep, definitely big. “I’m okay with spending the rest of this night making you scream it,”

#katsuki bakugo x reader #mha #mha x reader #mha bakugou #bakugou katsuki #bakugou x reader #x reader #fem reader #writing #katsuki bakugo mha #bakugou x you #fluff #angst #slow burn #first writing

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saturnville · 19 days ago

Text

love calls | kelvin harrison jr.

Pairing: Kelvin Harrison Jr. x Black Fem OC (nia) Summary: Kelvin takes the step to make things official between him and Nia. Warnings: Sexual suggestions. WC: 2519 AN: Everybody say thank you @youreadthatright for asking about Nia and Kelvin. Semi-inspired by Love Calls by Kem. Remember: Likes are nice, but reblogs, comments, and asks are encouraged. What were your thoughts?

Phone calls during work hours were the bane of her existence. Having successfully broken her self-proclaimed cell phone addiction, anything that was a cellular distraction was forbidden, especially during her shifts. She kept her phone across the room on a plush chair her mother purchased when she was promoted. It was nice and cozy, unable to be drained from overuse like its owner. It must be nice.

Yet, her efforts were in vain. The do-not-disturb setting wasn’t strong enough to withhold the call that forced its way through technological blockages, and a familiar name made a special appearance on the slightly smudged screen of her laptop. KHJR.

She'd scowl if she were skilled at holding a grudge, but she couldn’t help the smile that tugged at the corner of her lips as she accepted the call. “I’m at work; you do know that, right?”

His soft chuckle warmed her body. After a few moments of reconnection, clear, brown skin, a pretty smile, and a crisp hairline appeared. So did a broad chest covered by a crisp wife beater decorated with a gold chain. Those lips. She inhaled sharply. “You gon’ fall behind for over a five-minute call, Ni?”

If she kept ogling at him, she might. Things between her and Kelvin had changed drastically since that night at his apartment. What was supposed to be one night turned into two, filled with pizza, deep conversations, and a warm body against hers when the night came to an end. When maintenance arrived on Monday, he was by her side, watching to ensure the handyman secured the new lock with enough precision that even Hephaestus couldn’t undo the work.

They spent a lot of time together after that. On days when his schedule wasn’t as packed, he joined her for lunch, often insisting he take her to different restaurants around the city. When she was holed in at the office, he resorted to bringing food and flowers, which her co-workers whispered and inquired about when he left. They weren’t dating, no. Just two adults enjoying the company of one another and enjoying the company a little too much.

Some lines had not yet been crossed, but if Nia didn’t regain control and dignity, she’d find herself in that man’s bed for reasons beyond a busted lock. Her instinct was to fall back. To regroup and maintain composure. She wasn’t twenty anymore. Love needed structure, and it required intentionality. It lasted all of two days until Kelvin came ringing her line as he usually did.

Nia shook her head. “No, but I was in the middle of something. Don’t want a certain someone stealing my focus. Everything good?”

Kelvin nodded slowly, brown eyes following every ebb and flow of her movements. Though on the call, she moved gracefully to write down a few things that came to her mind. She tucked her pressed hair behind her ear, showing off her cheeks and beautiful collarbone with a simple gold chain around it. Her lip was drawn between her teeth as she forced her pen across the paper.

“Yeah,” he said after her eyes cut toward him as an extra push. “I’m back in town on Thursday evening; I wanted to see you on Friday. You got room on the busy calendar for 8?” Honestly, his asking was a mere formality to show respect for her time. One way or another, he’d be in her presence on Friday night, hell or high water.

Nia’s eyes flickered toward her desk calendar. Half day at work, but he didn’t need to know that. No plans with the girls since they were all on weekend adventures, but he didn’t need to know that, either. Her pause was intentional, but delaying wouldn’t help her case, so she said, “I’m free at eight on Friday.”

She hated how easy it was to say yes. She hated how it seemed to be the correct answer even more.

“Smooth,” Kelvin replied but didn’t hang up. His lips parted, but nothing came out. Nia tilted her head to the side. “What?” She asked, her pen still in her hand. Kelvin shook his head, rubbing the back of his neck, the gold necklace catching the sunlight at the right angle. “Nothing…just bring that smile you tryna hide with you. I’ll see you on Friday.”

And Lord, it couldn’t come fast enough. By Wednesday, she was counting down the hours. By Wednesday evening, she glanced at the clock, almost jumping out of her skin when he called her to ensure she was still suitable for Friday evening. On Thursday, she shared the details with her closest friends, who encouraged her to go; as a good man, making it official within a month wasn’t usual.

“He asked me out. He didn’t ask me to be his girlfriend,” Nia downplayed as she sat in the manicurist’s chair, her voice vibrating from the massage chair’s beating on her back.

Roni blew a raspberry that caught the attention of nearby patrons. “Girl, he’s about to. He asks you out all the time. He’s taking you to a nice dinner at an expensive restaurant in the city and Lord knows where else. Just be prepared to be booed up by the end of the weekend and stop being so pessimistic—oh, I’m sorry, can I change my polish color?”

By Friday after work, she was shuffling through the racks at her nearest Zara after determining the dresses in her closet wouldn’t do. They were either too short, too long, not in season, or not weather-appropriate. She landed on something less traditional and maybe something that would hurt any other man’s pride but would have Kelvin complimenting her off the walls—the sharpest two-piece black suit. Kind of. She wanted the pants, but when she saw a pair of shorts that complimented the blazer, it seemed appropriate for the occasion. Coupled with her favorite black heels and gold jewelry, she’d be date night-ready.

The knock came like a secret. Not loud. Not rushed. Just three, a soft three-tap rhythm against the door that made her stomach leap. He didn’t call. Didn’t text. No hazard lights reflected off her window to send a signal like Batman. Kelvin showed up as he’d always done. With presence.

She rechecked her reflection, tamed the nonexistent wrinkles on her blazer sleeve, and adjusted the hem of her shorts. Her legs looked long, which she could attribute to her heels. Her skin glowed, and her necklace winked at her like it knew the night would end with a bang.

When she opened the door, the look in his eyes made her heart race.

“Alright, girl.” He didn’t just look at her. He studied her like an unknown subject, his eyes decoding every step that led to her putting on that blazer that covered just enough but still gave way to a wandering imagination and shorts that showcased smooth, brown legs. His vision was focused on her, and its fingers drummed down her thigh. “How can I keep it together when you look like this?”

Nia’s lips curved into a knowing smile. “If I’m leaving the house, I might as well look good doing it.”

Kelvin hummed low and smooth like melodies from an old church choir. He stepped closer, one hand in his pocket, the other tucked underneath her chin. Not too far, but just enough to have her leaning into his touch. His eyes flickered down to her lips, full and covered in lip gloss he’d love to have smeared on his skin at any opportunity. “You gon’ let me kiss you now, or do you need another five minutes like you Ain’t been thinking about it since Tuesday?”

She swallowed thickly. Her lips parted, but the words didn’t come quickly enough. So he did it for her. Leaned in and pressed his lips against the corner of her mouth. Not quite her lips. Not overly complicated. Simple enough to be considered innocent but intentional enough for Nia to know it was a shadow of something else to come.

Nia exhaled sharply. “You’re tryin’ to start something, Kelvin.”

He smiled as he pulled back, his dark brown eyes never leaving her complimentary ones. “Nah, just tryna build something, if you let me.”

That was enough for her knees to almost buckle, sending those five-inch heels flying off her feet. Roni was right. He was up to something.

The ride to the venue provided enough time to get her mind and vagina in order before she made decisions on impulse. They were seated outdoors, which gave the perfect view of the city’s nightlife as the sun crested over the horizon and city lights reflected off building windows and car mirrors.

The live jazz band's soft sounds soothed her anxiety leading up to the date. Paired with two glasses of the finest white wine to grace her taste buds, they had her feeling loose and ready to accept any proposition he could provide. It was further subsided by a delicious meal, conversation with stolen, lingering glances, and the most delicious chocolate cake brought out on a clean, white dish with chocolate writing: Will you be my girlfriend?

Suddenly, chocolate cake felt like a commitment. One she wanted but wasn’t expecting so soon.“You did not,” Nia gasped, dropping the fork she prepared to use to obliterate the dessert he ordered. A child-like grin on her face. “Babe…” His lips curled into a smirk. “You Ain’ even accept my proposal, and you callin’ me babe, c’mon girl, let’s do this the right way!”

They shared a laugh. When it died down, Kelvin took her hand in his, thumb caressing the scar on her hand and the jewelry on the middle finger. “Nia, we’ve been cool for a while, but this last month has been…something different. I could be moving too fast or too old to play games. Maybe both, but I know I want you and only you; I want it to be real between us…and I’d be honored to call you my girl if you’d let me.”

Thank God for some self-control, or she would’ve leaped across the table and painted this man’s face with her lip gloss. Instead, she settled for a soft yes and a smile, which seemed to do it justice, as Kelvin couldn’t keep the smile off his face no matter how hard he tried.

The ride back to her apartment was filled with an undeniable tension they both tried to mask with soft smiles and whispers of old school R&B that played through the speakers. It followed them up the elevator and to her front door, where her hand ghosted over the knob, debating whether to end the night or let him press her against a wall and capture her lips in the searing kiss she'd internally been begging for. But the other part of her, the cautious part of her told her to slow down.

The shift was noticeable. Didn't fall on blind eyes. Kelvin didn't step closer but he didn't move way, either. The ball was in her court, but his presence was undeniable. She could feel his warm breath against her skin, the hairs on her neck standing at attention.

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to do, Nia," he reminded her of what she already knew, but it didn't help. Her inhibitions were clamoring behind iron bars she'd constructed over the last few years. Did he have the key to open the doors? It seemed so.

His patience was both a gift and a challenge, an enigma she struggled to grasp. Thankful that he was mature unlike men--no, boys, she was used to dealing with. Curious about the unspoken confidence that warned her once she was his, she was his fully and he was hers.

Nia turned over her shoulder, her stunning side profile spotlit by the low lights of the apartment hallway. "Come in," she said after some time. She aimed for confidence, but hesitation lassoed her words into a whisper, leaving only a hushed breath to pass her lips. "You sure?"

The door creaking open was his answer.

The two hardly made it past the threshold before lust beat self control and his mouth was on hers. She couldn't recall how it happened. Maybe when her hand lingered too long on his chest or when his lips brushed against her neck as she unlocked the door. She didn't know. She didn't care.

Nia moaned softly from the intensity of it all. Their kiss was sloppy and uncoordinated, but it sparked a match that lit a flame deep in her loins. She'd set fire to the whole place if it didn't simmer down. But she didn't want it to.

There was something grown, sexy, raunchy about a man finding her so delectable that as soon as the door closed and the locked clicked, he was on her like white on rice. She placed her hands on his chest to still his movements, bending down to kick off her heels before she broke an ankle trying to keep up with his lips sucking on her neck. Her eyes rolled back behind heavy eyelids. "Mhm, wait, wait."

Her breath came out in a shaky laugh. She pressed against him, not to push him away, but to ground herself and remind herself of who she was. Kelvin pulled back immediately, eyes scanning her face for any sign of discomfort or hesitancy. His hands stayed where they were, distant but respectful. Unmoving, but still reminding her that she was in control and he'd follow her lead.

"You good?" he asked, his voice a low rumble.

"Yeah, yeah," Nia nodded, her fingers clenching around his shirt. She didn't know whether to pull him closer or retreat. "Wasn't expecting you to kiss me like that."

Kelvin chuckled, "Well, I'm not afraid to admit that's all I been thinkin' about since Tuesday, but.." That made her smile. Really smile. The one that made her nose crinkle and her shoulders relax. Her hands slid up his shirt and her finger wrapped around his chain, and she pulled him in for a kiss. Slower. More calculated. Nasty.

His hand slid down her back and settled on the cuff of her bottom that peeked through the bottom of her shorts. A firm squeeze made her knees buckle. So the shorts were a good choice, she noted. She whimpered against his lips, her body arching every so slightly into his touch. Maybe. The younger version of her would've used this as fuel to spiral into full-fledged fantasies. But this, this was in the room with her. And it was hers. He was hers.

Kelvin pulled back enough to whisper against her lips, "Do you want me to stay?"

She didn't answer right away. Didn't need to. She just reached for his hand and led him further into the apartment and into the unknown that a night full of vibes, fancy wine, and cute proposal could thrust them to.

And whatever happened after that, she'd chosen it. And that was enough.

Tags: @kirayuki22 @greedyjudge2 @notapradagurl7 @irishmanwhore @honeytoffee @theogbadbitch @jazziejax @kumkaniudaku @nahimjustfeelingit-writes @youreadthatright

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