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reallyromealone · 1 year ago

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Back to you

Mikey x male reader

Omegaverse, angst, attempted suicide, depression, mentions of miscarriage

🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑

(name) was silent as he listened to the saved voice mails of his once fiance, Mikey's warm voice as he spoke about their plans and the soft "I love you" before they ended, he was always so gentle when speaking to (name).

He was always so wonderful to (name).

He worked so hard for (name) especially after the Takemichi incident, he and takemichi actually grew quite close over the years.

"Don't stay up too late, Sanzu and I got business... I love you" Mikey's voice spoke out before the audio clip ended and (name) was left in silence, tears streaming down his eyes as he whispered a watery "I love you" back, body slumped slightly as a sob broke through his body.

He took care of Grandpa Sano till his passing, the house given to (name) when he died and (name) became a recluse, each room exactly how it was left, Emma's room unchanged.

It was a time capsule of broken memories.

(Name) kept everything clean and tidy, taking the spare room as his own and keeping keepsakes of his family now gone, a shrine of his three siblings.

He always put their favorite desserts and foods out for them, shrines in the empty dojo for each member of the Sano family Izana included, photos of each of them.

He hoped they rested easy.

Mikey was never the same after leaving (name), his beloved Omega, his everything.

Sanzu locked his pain away with drugs, guilt filling him for abandoning his beloved younger brother, the only sibling he claimed and valued deeply.

Takeomi pretended nothing was wrong but his heart clenched at the sight of anything or anyone reminding him of the omega.

Mikey didn't eat much, he didn't sleep really either.

He could feel the pain from (name) in the claim mark, he bit (name) during his rut but (name) never got a chance to return it during his heat, Mikey forced to feel it all.

The abandonment.

The suffering.

The heartache.

Every night like clockwork was when it was at its worse, like it started all over again.

And it was all Mikey's fault.

The two had been engaged since they were children, been through the good and the bad and Mikey left (name) with OAS (Omega abandonment syndrome).

Mikey was living in the life of luxury while (name) lived alone and broken.

Mikey kept close tabs on (name), he was obsessed with him-- he always was.

(Name) was perfect.

He had pictures of him, regularly getting updates on every aspect of his life and every little moment he had.

Draken got (name) a dog, it helped a little.

It got him out at least, (name) regularly going out to walk the pooch.

"It's for the best" he would tell himself, it's what all three of them would tell themselves.

(Name) walked with Draken, the Alpha always the big brother figure to him, he was supposed to be his brother in law after all. The tall mechanic decided to give (name) a job at his shop with Inupi, the passive blond never really interacted with (name), Draken explaining his situation and the therapy (name) was going through. (Name) made strides compared to how he was in the beginning, when Mikey abandoned him... (Name)... He... Draken hated thinking about it.

(Name) was good at the job, the consistency with social interactions distracting the Omega and he even laughed once, even if it was only slight.

"Move?"

"Yeah, inupis boyfriend and him want to live together and I offered to move out so they can have the apartment"

"Are you still looking?" (Name) asked softly and Draken grunted "yeah, preferably something close"

"... You could stay with me"

Draken accepted it, (name) and him packed up grandpa sanos belongings, some things spaced around the house but many things out in Mikey's former room (Draken had to put it in as (name) refused to enter that room), Draken moving in the same week.

Mikey looked at the pictures and didn't know how to feel though the mics and cameras in the apartment showed Drakens genuine concern for the Omega, helping him move on from the 'deaths' of all his loved ones.

"You kept these?" Drakens voice through the recording was shocked and almost heartbroken, Mikey leaning into his seat as he watched the recording "I couldn't get rid of them... I have a box of memories as well"

Mikey was shocked as the Kanto and Toman jackets were lifted, they were in perfect condition, Mikey thought he got rid of those...

"I miss him" (name) croaked out and Draken held him close "did you know I was pregnant when he left?"

Mikey froze as he heard this, Sanzu walking in as he heard it "pregnant?" Both Sanzu and Draken said in shock.

"Yeah, a little girl... I hoped she would look like Mikey... I always teased him that he would make a pretty girl" (name) said with a lifeless chuckle and everything clicked for Draken.

This is why he couldn't move on.

"I had a whole dinner planned for telling him, do you think he would have been happy?"

"Yes..." Mikey whispered broken, he would have been over the moon! He would have lifted (name) and carried him around, never letting him lift a finger and and... He killed his baby.

He was the worst.

"I was wondering... If you maybe wanted to go out sometime?" A customer asked (name), the Omega shocked as he fiddled with his fingers "uh... I'm sorry I'm not looking for a relationship right now" he mumbled looking stressed out and leaned away, he had stopped saying he was married anymore.

The concept of a relationship was hard for (name), who would want him? A broken Omega widow?

It also felt like a betrayal.

He was betraying his alpha...

But Mikey was also dead.

Mikey was dead.

(Name) was sitting in his room thinking about this, maybe it was time he go on a date.

(Name) wanted to cry.

His date didn't show up.

(Name) felt defeated as he stood up and left the restaurant, tears staining the nice clothes Mitsuya put together for him, walking down the street with a distant look.

He decided to take an alternative route, wanting to eat some sweets at a bakery he knew stayed open late.

(Name) was in a haze as he walked, staring at the road before him and walking into it.

He stared down a truck barreling towards him when he was ripped away "ARE YOU INSANE?!" a voice screamed at him and (name) just stared off before glancing up.

"Oh I'm dead..." (Name) mumbled as he stared at Sanzu, so broken and lifeless was the man before Sanzu.

"You're not dead! You almost fucking died! Why would you do that?!"

Because he wanted to see his loved ones.

He just wanted to be with his family.

He lost so much.

Emma.

Senju.

His brothers and his beloved.

"I lost it so bad I'm hallucinating..." (Name) laughed to himself as Sanzu looked at his brother in horror, had (name) been that emotionally damaged by them leaving him?

(Name) stood up and began wandering off, clothes tattered and scrapes on his body and Sanzu didn't trust him to be left alone.

(Name) sat on the leather couches, taken to god knows where but he didn't particularly care.

He didn't care what happened anymore.

He was already hallucinating his dead loved ones.

Glancing around he took in the high end building and the large clear window of Tokyo, wandering to look out of it.

He wondered how fast he would die at this height.

"(Name)?" A voice took (name) from his thoughts and he turned to see Takeomi, the other in shock "you're not real" (name) said simply as he looked at Takeomi up and down "(name)... I'm real" takeomi said to his brother who scoffed and returned to look out the window.

Takeomi walked towards him and reached out but got a volatile reaction instead "don't fucking touch me! Is this some sick fucking joke?! Let's get people who look like the poor omegas dead loved ones and emotionally torment him!" (Name) cried out as he stepped away, shaking and just every emotion he repressed came out as he began crying hysterically. He was so angry and just done, screaming his frustrations onto the other and hyperventilating to the point he felt dizzy.

His screaming and angry caught the attention of the rest of Bonten, Mikey stepping out to see his beloved being held by takeomi while struggling and screaming.

"Look! There's Mikey!"

(Name) was sobbing and absolutely furious as he locked eyes with his mate and at this point absolutely lost it, not noticing takeomi putting pressure against his neck before the world went dark.

Mikey didn't leave his mates side, the closest he had been in a long time, he knew he shouldn't have but crawled in the bed and held (name) close in his lap, kissing his temple.

"I'm so sorry... I shouldn't have left you" Mikey whispered, he wasn't going to let him go anymore.

He just hoped (name) wouldn't despise him when he woke.

#tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers x male reader #male reader #bonten x reader #omegaverse #omega male reader #mikey tokyo revengers #mikey x male reader

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storytowrite · 2 months ago

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|Silent Devotion ~ See Changbin|

Paring: Seo Changbin x reader

Genre: pure smut

Word Count: 6715

Warnings: murder, shooting, blood, smut, 18+, unprotectedsex, fingering

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You were cleaning your boss Chagbin's office, as always at this hour. In this house, everything went like clockwork, every activity was planned, every step was watched, whether by cameras or security guards, who were stationed in almost every room.

This was how your life had been for a few years, you were always being watched. It all started when you were still a teenager and you ran away from your parents' house. You didn't want to live with them anymore, especially after you overheard them talking about moving to a completely different continent, away from your friends.

However, you didn't think about the fact that after running away you would have nowhere to go. Your friends turned away from you when they found out you ended up on the streets, none of the people you trusted helped you.

Your new boss turned out to be your salvation. While you were wandering around the street, trying to find something to eat and a warm place to stop, a black luxury car pulled up to you. You were surprised at first, but at the same time it interested you. A tall, well-built man came out, dressed in a very elegant black suit. At first you were scared and thought you were about to be kidnapped, but the guy stopped.

"Good day, Miss. My name is Peter and I was asked by my boss to offer you a job." His voice was calm, elegant and very friendly, completely at odds with his appearance.

You stood completely shocked by this situation, although you were still very distrustful.

"The job will be very simple. You are to clean the Lord's estate. In return, we offer accommodation, food and a very good salary." He continued when you still seemed unconvinced.

"How do I know this is not a scam and you won't kidnap me and sell me on the black market?" She finally spoke.

"You have to take my word for it, Miss. My boss doesn't hurt people he doesn't have to." He smiled slightly.

You laughed nervously, his words didn't convince you at all.

“Here is a business card with the address that the young lady should come to if the young lady decides to work. “ Not wanting to scare you even more, he put the business card on the wall in front of you, bowed and went back to the car. Then he drove off, you stood still for a few seconds before you went over to take a closer look at the business card.

It was a small, black and beautifully decorated piece of cardboard, with red and gold lettering. There was indeed an address written on it, and on the other side were the beautifully calligraphed initials SC. You were very intrigued by this small piece of paper. You thought for a long time what to do in this situation, but you decided to try, after all, it couldn't be worse than where you were now, and there you would have a roof over your head, free food and they would still pay you.

The next day you arrived at the indicated address and were speechless when you saw the building where you could possibly work. A gigantic white wall covered in ivy appeared before your eyes, in the middle of which there was an equally large and heavy golden gate. You stood next to her, not knowing what to do next, when you suddenly heard the sound of the intercom.

“Good day, Miss. I expected you to decide after all.” You heard Peter’s familiar voice. “Please come in.” After these words, the large gate began to open, revealing an equally stunning villa.

From a distance, it resembled a simple, minimalist structure with huge dark glass panes, through which cool, white light fell. The building seemed almost invisible among the dense, trimmed vegetation, as if blending into the surroundings, but it's refined form caught the eye.

You walked along the driveway lined with black tiles, leading to the main door — large, made of steel, which opened automatically. Inside, the space was even more impressive. High ceilings, cool gray concrete, and omnipresent glass gave the villa a raw, industrial character. The furniture was simple but luxurious - black leather sofas, dark wood tables, crystal chandeliers hung from the ceiling, and abstract paintings hung on the walls, as if their owner wanted to emphasize his refined taste and wealth.

It took you a moment to notice the number of people inside. Servants bustling around the large rooms and a lot of menacing-looking men in suits.

"Good day again, Miss, let me personally escort you out. " Peter greeted you.

You nodded, because the appearance of the place took your voice away. Together you went to the next room. The open space of the living room connected to a vast terrace, on which there was a minimalist pool with edges so sharp as if it had cut the water around it in half. Exotic plants grew around, carefully selected to create an atmosphere of luxurious isolation. Discreet music rustled in the background, and the air was filled with the cool scent of masculine perfume.

"Let me show you to your room. “ He replied as you walked through the beautiful garden behind the house.

In the background there was a beautiful building made of gray brick, completely overgrown with vines. It wasn’t as modern as the main building, but it was just as beautiful, almost magical. You went inside together, here you also noticed many women of different ages. Each was dressed the same - in a rather short black dress, with a white apron tied around the waist.

None of them paid any attention to you, they were busy with their own activities. Peter showed you the stairs and together you went to the attic, where there were two doors. The man opened the first one and your eyes saw a beautiful, spacious bathroom with a huge bathtub and its own vanity, equipped with plenty of cosmetics.

“This is where you will get ready. At work, you have to look impeccable. Delicate make-up and carefully combed hair.” Peter said, still standing in the doorway.

“Sure, delicate make-up, combed hair.” You repeated, giving a sign that you understood.

“Great, let's go to your room then.” He pointed to the other door.

When the door opened, the bright morning light blinded you. The first thing you noticed was the large bed, above which stretched a huge window, facing straight to the sky. Your eyes wandered from place to place, carefully analyzing every inch of the room. The luxury you had never had left you dazed. Finally, your gaze landed on the glass wardrobe, which held a lot of beautiful and great quality clothes.

“Is this all mine?” You asked in disbelief.

“Yes, Miss. You should dress appropriately for work, in a black dress. When you are not working, you have full freedom.” The man explained to you.

“Black dress, work, after work whatever you want. Sure understand.” You replied.

“Wonderful. Now that you know everything, we can go downstairs.” He suggested and you go back to the main house.

You still couldn't stop marveling at the amount of awesomeness this house held. When you finally managed to explore the entire house, Peter began to head towards one of the older maids who was dusting in the living room.

"This is our head maid Esmeralda. She'll help you with everything and explain what to do. If you have any questions, ask her." Peter said and walked away.

The older woman stopped what she was doing, turned to you and gave you a genuine smile.

“What's your name, child?” She asked, her voice trembling slightly.

“My name is Y/n, nice to meet you.” You replied, bowing your head slightly, wanting to show respect.

“You have a lot of work ahead of you, but I think you'll manage. Get changed and we can start.” Her words scared you a little, but you were full of enthusiasm for your new job and new opportunities.

You had been working in your new house for a week now, people started to pay attention to you, you even had the impression that you had struck up a good rapport with some of them. The work was hard and tiring, you spent your days cleaning, preparing tableware and meals, washing, ironing, generally working hard.

One day, walking up the marble stairs, you noticed a slightly ajar door to one of the rooms. You knew that you shouldn't change your daily schedule, but curiosity won. The room was decorated with splendor: massive dark furniture, tall shelves full of books, and impressive paintings on the walls.

Suddenly you heard the sound of the door opening and before you could do anything, the bathroom door opened and a boy who looked to be around your age stood in the doorway. He was standing in just a towel, wet hair falling over his forehead and drops of water running down his muscular torso.

You froze, opening your eyes wide, your legs pressed against the ground and you couldn't move. You felt heat rushing to your cheeks and you just looked down.

"Oh god, I'm sorry, I didn't know someone was here. I'm going now." You choked out, step by step backing towards the door.

The man raised an eyebrow at your embarrassment, but instead of getting angry, he smiled slightly.

"You have nothing to stress about. Please stay, you just have to give me a moment to get dressed." He said calmly, pointing you to the couch, then disappeared into the large wardrobe.

You sat down uncertainly on the couch, still feeling your cheeks burning. After a while, the stranger came out dressed in a black shirt that emphasized every outline of his muscular torso and perfectly tailored pants. He sat down opposite you and smiled friendly.

“I'm Changbin, nice to meet you.” He extended his hand to you.

“Y/n.” You replied, greeting him.

Introducing yourself gave you a little relief and you could talk to him calmly. Your conversations were really interesting and time flew by. You felt like you had known each other for years. At some point, intrigued, you decided to ask a question that was on your mind.

“I found out that this is the villa of a mafia boss. Apparently he is very strict and no one has the right to oppose him. As an ordinary cleaning lady, no one will have the opportunity to see him, because only selected people can be near him. And did you ever manage to see him?”

The boy burst out laughing loudly, which surprised you very much. You frowned, thinking that you had said something very stupid.

“I see him every day… I happen to be the strict boss, and you work for me.” He replied, smiling inquisitively.

You opened your mouth wide, and your heart stopped beating for a moment. You jumped to your feet, panic taking hold of you.

“God, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have acted like that, master. Forgive me for my recklessness, master.” You began to bow, feeling embarrassment almost burning through you.

Changbin rolled his eyes and stepped closer to you, placing a hand on your back to calm you down.

“Call me Changbin, like before. There’s no need to be so tense, I don’t blame you.” He said calmly, his touch surprisingly warm.

You just nodded, still feeling the blush on your cheeks. You quickly apologized, then ran out of the room, feeling your heart pounding in your chest like a hammer.

That’s how you met your boss, in the worst possible way.

__________

It had been a few years since you had entered the residence and thanks to your enthusiasm, you had quickly moved up the hierarchy. Thanks to that, you have gained access to new parts of the building. Your fingers were gently sliding along the spine of a book on the top shelf when suddenly the quiet slam of a closing door interrupted the moment. Your heart beat faster - you turned around abruptly, but your leg slipped off the edge of the stool. Everything happened in a split second. You braced yourself for a painful fall, but instead of an impact, you felt warmth.

You opened your eyes and met his gaze. Changbin held you tightly, and his eyes, dark as night, seemed to read every hidden secret.

"Be careful, Y/n" He said, his voice sounding like a gentle warning.

You swallowed hard and quickly stood on your feet, looking away. Your breathing was quickening and a blush was burning your cheeks.

“I’m sorry, Master…” You whispered, but the words died in your throat as you noticed the annoyed look on his face. He sighed deeply, as if it was something he’d said a hundred times before.

“I already told you, call me Changbin.” He corrected you firmly. You bit your lip, feeling like you had made another mistake.

“I’m sorry, maste... Changbin.” You finally replied, adjusting your dress, the delicate material of which chafed against your skin. “Can I help you?”

He looked at you for a moment, as if weighing his words before answering.

“Yes, yes, you can. A foreign client will be visiting me tonight. I would like you to serve us.”

Your heart skipped a beat.

“Of course, it would be an honor.” You replied with a wide smile.

This was your first real chance. You couldn’t waste it.

Changbin nodded, his face still serious.

“This is a very important meeting, Y/n. Everything has to be perfect. I’m counting on you.”

“I won’t let you down!” You assured enthusiastically.

You watched as he turned around and left the office, then went back to work, knowing you had to hurry.

After work, in your room, you took a shower and prepared yourself carefully, feeling excited and nervous at the same time. Your new dress fit perfectly, and the velvet bow delicately emphasized the hair falling to your shoulders. You looked at your reflection in the mirror, making sure that everything was in its place. You were ready.

It was late evening when you brought a tray of empty glasses to the office, which you placed on the table in front of the two men. There was no room for mistakes, everything had to be perfect on point. You didn't say a word the whole time, only bringing drinks and snacks to the table when needed. Even though you couldn't say anything, you listened carefully. For now, at this moment, you found out that your boss's client was called Victor and he didn't look like a nice guy. Every time you looked at him, shivers went through your body, but you couldn't show it.

The office you were in was filled with the smoke of the cigar that Victor was smoking, and the heavy black curtains blocked the moonlight. Both men sat opposite each other on two different sides of the table, and you walked around them, fulfilling their whims but not disturbing the meeting.

You felt the pressure on yourself, after all you had to do well. However, you were surprised by the fact that you were the only maid at this meeting and why you were chosen when your boss had a lot of other more experienced maids. Also, halfway through the meeting, Changbin ordered all the security guards to leave, so the three of you were left in the room.

As you approached the table to collect the empty glasses, Victor looked at you with a nasty smirk that made you feel uneasy, but you kept your head high and smiled.

“Beautiful girl.” He said, looking at you carefully. “Don't you think Changbin that your maid is too cute to work like this?”

Changbin raised an eyebrow, looking coldly at Victor.

“Y/n is here to work, so please respect her.” He said, still maintaining his calm and stoic composure.

Victor laughed, his laugh deep and malicious. He grabbed his glass and drank the entire contents. He then swirled it in his fingers, signaling you to refill it.

You leaned down slightly to pour another glass of wine for your guest.

“Would you like to join us? Come here, my love.” He held out his hand to you, but you took a step back, feeling anxiety building in your chest.

Changbin looked at you, his eyes full of concern directed only at you.

“Victor.” His voice was icy. “I said you have to respect her. Leave her alone and let’s focus on business.”

However, Victor ignored the warning. He grabbed your wrist, and your eyes widened in fear.

“Don't be so shy.” He whispered, pulling you even closer to him. “I feel like having some fun.” At that moment, something inside Changbin snapped. He stood up abruptly, knocking his chair over.

“Let her go! Now!”

Victor looked at him with a challenge in his eyes, but he didn’t let go of you.

“What if I don’t?” he asked provocatively.

Changbin didn’t answer, he just pulled out his gun and aimed it straight at Victor’s head.

“I warned you.” You only heard those words, then your ears started to squeak from a loud shot.

You instinctively closed your eyes and felt warm blood spraying your face. At the same time, you crouched down, scared, and didn’t dare to get up for a while. Crouched down, you only heard a few guards who were standing in front of the door running inside.

“Take the body. Our negotiations are over.” You heard Changbin’s voice, completely unaffected by what had just happened. “It’s over, Y/n. You don’t have to be afraid.” He crouched down in front of you and gently lifted your chin to look at you closely.

You looked at him as he looked at you, making sure that you definitely didn't have any wounds. His face was calm, blissful, as if he wanted to show you that you had nothing to be afraid of.

"I'm sorry about this situation. You must be scared. Let me help you, but first I'll ask Esmeralda to prepare a bath for you in my room. I'd rather keep an eye on you now." He said, offering you his hand and helping you to stand up, as your legs were shaking with fear.

The last thing you saw before leaving was a few servants wiping up pools of blood and security guards packing Victor's body into a bag. Changbin didn't leave your side the whole way to his room. The two of you attracted the attention of the others gathered, but they tried to hide it. You walked slowly, taking your time, and the shock you had experienced slowly subsided from you.

Changbin led you to his bathroom, where Esmeralda, at his request, prepared a bath for you. The boy gently sat you down on the edge of the tub, his eyes filled with concern and warmth that brought unexpected peace to your heart. He grabbed a wet towel, and his movements were slow, as if he wanted to make sure that every action of his would comfort you. He gently wiped the small drops of blood from your face that reminded you of the events of the last few hours.

"You have nothing to worry about, Y/N. You're safe with me. I won't let anyone hurt you." He said, placing a warm hand on your cheek. His touch was soothing, as if he was not only physically removing traces of pain, but also mentally giving you shelter from the world. "Take a bath, please. Take your time, and I'll be waiting in my room. If you need anything, just call me," He added, then left, leaving you alone in the bathroom.

You were grateful for his concern. When Changbin disappeared behind the door, you started to take off your clothes, still dirty and stuck to your body after everything that had happened. You sank into the warm, relaxing water, feeling the stress and tension leave your body. The water acted like a balm on your senses, allowing you to forget for a moment. You washed away the remnants of dirt and anxiety, wanting to feel fresh and regain control over yourself.

After bathing, you got out of the tub and looked around the bathroom. You noticed that you didn't have any clothes to change into. You wrapped yourself tightly in a towel, feeling the cool breeze on your wet skin, and went out, heading to Changbin's room. The boy was sitting on the bed, looking through one of the books.

"Um, could I get some clothes?" You asked shyly.

He turned to you slowly, looking at you for a moment, as if he wanted to remember every detail. After a moment, he stood up without a word and disappeared into his wardrobe. He came back with a white shirt in his hand, which he handed to you.

“Thank you.” You whispered, turning on your heel to go back to the bathroom and change. As you closed the door behind you, you realized you didn’t have a change of underwear. You didn’t want to put on the one you were wearing earlier- it felt dirty. So you decided to just put on a shirt. It was big and long, covering everything that should be covered.

You left the bathroom and Changbin was now sitting on the couch, his gaze once again resting on you. You could have sworn the corner of his mouth lifted slightly, though there was no hint of mockery in it.

“Thank you, master.” You said quietly, about to leave, but his voice stopped you.

“Changbin.” He corrected you sternly. “I told you to call me Changbin.” His voice sounded irritated, but it quickly softened. “Y/N, sit with me, please. Let's talk like the first time we met."

You looked at him uncertainly, but you couldn't say no to your boss. You hesitated, but eventually walked over and sat down next to him on the couch. The leather upholstery was cool under your skin, and you desperately tried to cover all the parts of your body that shouldn't be visible at the moment. You were intimidated by his closeness, but you didn't want to admit it.

"Is everything okay?" He asked, leaning slightly towards you. "You don't have to be afraid of me."

"I’m okay. Thank you so much for helping me." You finally spoke, still crumpling the material of your shirt in your hands.

"Would you like a drink, Y/n?" He asked, getting up from the couch and walking over to the small bar in the corner of the room.

"I'm working, I'm not allowed to drink." You answered immediately, thinking it was some kind of test.

“Chill Y/n, you're with me, and with me you can do anything. Let's celebrate our meeting. “ He poured wine into two glasses and came back to you, handing you one.

“Okay, I guess one won't hurt. “ You took a sip from the glass and fell in love with the taste of this alcohol, you've never had such good wine in your life.

Thanks to the alcohol, you relaxed slightly and talked freely with Changbin, just like when you first met.

After a long conversation and a few glasses of wine, Changbin approached you. He sat so close that his legs touched yours.

“I'm glad Y/n that I drove past you that day. The first time I saw you I knew you were special. I had to have you by my side. I'm glad you agreed to work for me. “ His words hit you with double the force, probably because of the alcohol.

A red blush began to paint your cheeks. You were slightly embarrassed by his words, because you didn't expect to hear that from him.

"I'm the one who's glad I got a chance at a better life. I owe you everything." You replied, swirling the half-full glass in your fingers.

There was silence for a moment, but it wasn't an awkward silence. You sat staring at each other, and the tension between you was growing. You don't know why, but your heart began to skip a beat as you looked at him closely. His features seemed even more defined, his lips were plumper, and his eyes were full of passion.

"Y/n." He began, placing his hand on your bare thigh. "Since the first time I saw you, I knew I wanted you. I want to have you for myself. I want to taste you. You're like a forbidden fruit to me, one that I desire so much." His words were certain, but at the same time very sensual.

Your whole body heated up and you couldn't help but bite your lip as Changbin's hand moved up a little.

"Don't do that, or I won't be able to hold back." He said, placing his other hand on your cheek.

"What if I don't want you to hold back?" You asked, your voice slightly husky and seductive.

Changbin just gave you a short smile and grabbed you by the neck to pull you closer to him. His lips immediately landed on yours, he didn't play cat and mouse with you, he just stuck his tongue into your mouth, and you reciprocated, the first hot kiss. Emotions were boiling inside you, and the excitement was growing.

You couldn't help but moan quietly when Changbin completely took the initiative and deepened your kiss. You pulled away from each other only for a moment to catch your breath, which you were desperately looking for.

After a moment, Changbin pulled away from you, only to whisper in your ear.

"Hold the glass up and don't drop it, because I'll be very angry and I'll have to punish you."

His words sent shivers down your body, but you decided to obey and lifted the glass you were holding in your hand. At that moment, Changbin planted a passionate kiss on your neck, which almost made you drop your glass. You didn't expect his lips to be so pleasant, and his kisses aggressive but also very thoughtful.

His other hand wandered up and down your thigh, slowly testing how far he could go. His every move was carefully planned to bring you as much pleasure as possible.

After a while, when he got bored with your neck, he slowly unbuttoned one of the buttons of his shirt with one hand and focused his kisses on your collarbones, lightly biting them. It made your back arch into a beautiful curve. Changbin's other hand went under your breasts, holding you so you wouldn't run away.

He really liked the way you looked at that moment. Slightly squinted eyes, back arched and bitten lips, everything was perfect and he wanted to keep it that way for as long as possible.

"Binnie." You whispered between heavy breaths.

It worked on him like a rag to a bull. He sat down comfortably and pulled you with him, so that you were sitting on his lap, straddling him. Without stopping kissing you, he deftly unbuttoned another button of his shirt, giving himself access to your bare breasts. His sudden movement made you want to lower your hands and cover yourself, but the boy caught your hand and lifted it above your head again.

“A-a-a… I said to hold the glass up.” He whispered, lightly nibbling on your earlobe. “Good girl.”

His words turned you on even more and you started to feel yourself getting warm down there, and his next movements didn’t help. Changbin grabbed your breasts in his hands and started kneading them. His touch was gentle but firm at the same time. You couldn’t stop the moans that fell from your lips. However, you quickly covered your mouth with a free hand.

“Oh no, baby. I want to hear how I affect you. " He said, smiling nonchalantly and moving his hands to your nipples.

He grabbed them in his fingers and began to fondle them thoroughly. He gave each one the same amount of attention. He gently rolled them in his fingers, enjoying every second. You slowly began to feel how wet you were, and that was just the beginning of the fun. His hands went to your buttocks to bring you even closer to him.

His mouth rested on one of your nipples, and his tongue swirled around it, as if immersed in a dance. He smoothly moved from one nipple to the other, playing with your buttocks at the same time. You felt how you were soaking wet and staining his pants with your juices, but Changbin didn't seem to mind it, quite the opposite. His penis began to tense up, creating a bulge in his pants that pressed against your pussy.

This time it was you who smiled when you felt new possibilities to please yourself. You sloppily began to unbutton his shirt, inch by inch revealing his gorgeous torso.

Feeling how eager you were to continue the game, the boy slightly let you know that you could start moving your hips to relieve the desire that your body was showing more and more. You slowly started to move forward and back, with his hands still kneading your buttocks. The bulge in his pants rubbed against you, creating unforgettable sensations. You wanted more, you craved more. You needed to have him inside you, but the boy decided to tease you a little more.

In one smooth movement, he took you off his lap and quickly pulled his pants down, leaving you only in your boxers. Despite the amount of pleasure you were now experiencing, you bravely held the glass above your head, not even a drop fell out of it. Changbin pulled you to him again, only now you were sitting backwards on his lap. One of his hands rested on your breast, playing with your nipple again, and the other went down.

His fingers immediately began to caress your clit, using your own juices, which were already flowing down your thighs, as lubrication. Your whole body tensed under the influence of his touch. Your entire pussy was very sensitive, and you couldn't resist such a reaction. He skillfully maneuvered between your folds and your clit, not skipping a millimeter.

He played with you like that for some time, enjoying every second. You writhed under his touch, but you couldn't do anything about it. The boy knew perfectly well what he was doing to fully satisfy you. Soon his fingers ran between your folds, heading for your hole.

He easily slid one finger into your hole, and a loud moan escaped your lips. Without waiting a moment, he began to move it inside. Slowly at first, and with time, speeding up and adding another finger. His movements inside you were like magically enchanted time for you. You didn't want him to stop, you were at the edge of your endurance when he suddenly pulled his fingers out of you and took you off his lap, which was met with a grunt of displeasure from you.

"Don't be so impatient little one. I'll give you what you want so much soon." He said, kneeling in front of you and spreading your legs.

Without further ado, he ran his tongue all over your pussy, finally focusing on the most sensitive spot. He wrapped his lips around your clit and sucked on it lightly. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head from the amount of pleasure you were feeling at the moment.

Your body began to shake slightly as his tongue slowly began to wander down. The boy grabbed your legs tightly and pulled you so that you were sitting on the edge of the couch, giving him better access to you. His unexpected movement caused some of the wine to spill, but neither of you seemed to notice.

Changbin licked your pussy once more before he inserted his tongue into your hole. He was looking for the exact spot that would give you the most pleasure, and when he found it, guided by your increasingly louder moans, he sped up his movements. He watched you writhe under his touch, kneading your breasts with pleasure. When you reached for his hair to tangle your fingers in it, Bin's lips curved into a slight smile. He knew perfectly well that you were close to climax. So he sucked on your pussy a few times and sped up his movements again. You didn't expect someone could be so good at doing good with their mouths, and yet. A few movements were enough for a powerful orgasm to overwhelm you. You squeezed your legs against his face, shaking and twitching. The wave of pleasure was so big that you dropped the glass from your hand, which fell on the couch.

With your other hand, you also grabbed his hair, tightly tangling your fingers in it. Your breathing was very heavy, and sometimes you even had the impression that you weren't breathing as you went through your orgasm. Changbin patiently waited for you to calm down, so that you could continue. He stroked your legs, calmly guiding you through every second of pleasure.

After a moment, you began to feel all the tension leave you and you began to relax. Your legs fell limply down, and your hands loosened their grip. Changbin stood up from his knees and leaned over you.

"You dropped the glass, darling. Now you're going to be punished." Without waiting for your answer, he picked you up and carried you to the bed. He laid you down gently and pulled off your unnecessary shirt, then took off his boxers, revealing his fully erect penis.

You looked at him seductively, slightly biting your lip. The boy laughed slightly and approached you, kneeling between your legs. His cock gently rubbed your still sensitive pussy, and you couldn't help but lift your hips. You wanted to feel him inside you already.

"So impatient and so horny." He said, leaning over you slightly, sliding between your wet folds a few times, wetting his cock.

Finally, he aimed at your hole. His tip pressed against your entrance and in one smooth movement, he entered you completely. Your mouth opened but no sound came out, as if you were speechless. Only when you let out a breath from your lungs were you able to speak again. Changbin's size was perfect, not too small and not too big, so as not to hurt you.

His first movements were slow, smooth and calm. He wanted you to get used to this position. Seeing how you kept biting your lip and pulling your hair slightly, he sped up and deepened his movements. They were no longer so calm, but still rhythmic. His penis slid in and out of you, stretching your walls slightly.

However, after a while, even that wasn't enough for him. He lifted both of your legs and placed them on his shoulders, giving himself access to deeper penetration. The first movements of his hips were calm, but they quickly gained momentum when the room was filled with sweet moans. Your breasts jumped in rhythm with the movements, giving him additional wonderful views.

"More Changbin, I want more!" You said between moans of pleasure.

The boy understood this perfectly, quickly pulled out of you and lay on his back. You knew immediately what he meant. You climbed on top of him and aimed his penis at your hole. When his penis slid back into you, filling you, a shiver of pleasure ran down your spine.

You began to see him, moving your hips forward and back, giving yourself additional sensations. You felt blissful, you started to play with your hair, revealing your breasts. Changbin's hands immediately went to them, they fit them perfectly, as if they were sculpted especially for them.

After a moment, your movements began to become careless, you felt the warmth in your lower abdomen growing again, you knew that the second orgasm was coming and faster than you thought. Changbin noticed it too, his hand went to your clit. He started to stimulate it, and you couldn't stop the feeling that you were about to explode. His fingers were agile and fast, they carefully caressed the most sensitive spot.

"Binnie...I can’t...I can't hold out any longer!" You screamed as a wave of pleasure flooded your body again.

You dug your fingers into Changbin's muscular chest. He admired you as you twitched on him, with his penis still inside you. However, he didn't wait for the whole orgasm to pass, he just lifted you off him and put you on all fours. Then he immediately thrust into you with great force.

Your elbows bent under you. You were now completely exposed to him, your chest fell onto the soft mattress and your hips remained up. Changbin grabbed your hips, holding you up. He didn't want you to run away, he was absorbed in you. Your body, your scent, just you.

His movements were strong, the sound of skin slapping against each other filled the room, mixing with your loud moans of pleasure. The orgasm from earlier had worn you out a bit, you were overstimulated, but you didn't want to show it. You wanted to have him inside you for as long as possible and make love to him for as long as possible.

Changbin's fingers dug into your skin so hard that they slowly lost their color, but the boy wanted to enter you even harder. A few movements later you felt a sudden rush of pleasure take over your body. Looking at your reaction, he knew he hit your sweet spot and that's where he had to continue.

Even though you had just climaxed, you could feel your third orgasm approaching and it would be stronger than the previous two.

“I…I’m…cumming!” You moaned between the blows to your buttocks.

Changbin understood your plea and sped up his movements, still staying in your sweet spot. You dug your fingers into the sheet so hard that the blood drained from them, but you didn’t mind, you had to somehow control your body.

Soon the boy’s movements became uneven, but they didn’t lose their strength. His breathing quickened. You were both close, both waiting for the desired fulfillment. After a few more movements, you both came. You felt the warm liquid filling you inside as his cum shot out.

Your walls clenched on him uncontrollably as more waves of heat flooded your body. All your muscles contracted uncontrollably as he hit your buttocks slower and slower. Each of your movements led you through orgasm. The amount of pleasure that hit you was so great that you clenched your teeth on the sheet, hoping that it would bring some help.

Only after a moment did Changbin gently fall onto you and very slowly pull out of you, giving the excess cum a chance to escape. He placed a gentle kiss on your red buttock, then your back, shoulder blades and neck. Your body reacted to each new mark left on your body.

Finally, you fell onto the bed exhausted, your forehead decorated with small beads of sweat, just like Changbin's. You lay next to each other, staring at each other, your breaths were heavy, but you were happy.

Changbin brushed a strand of hair away from yours and gently stroked your cheek.

"You're mine Y/n and I won't let anyone hurt you." He said tenderly, placing a sweet kiss on your lips.

You lay on the bed for a while longer, you snuggled up to Changbin, wanting to stay with him as long as possible. When your breathing calmed down a bit, Changbin took you to the bathroom and made a shared bath for you. After all, he couldn't leave you like this. Once the tub was full, you both got in. He sat down behind you and hugged you tightly, wrapping his arms around you. You felt safe with him and knew this was the start of something great. Something where you were the main characters. Your life was about to change from being a mere servant, you were finally together with a mafia boss.

—————————————

Masterlist

#stray kids #skz reaction #skz #skz fanfic #skz smut #kpop fanfic #kpop #stray kids reaction #changbin smut #seo changin smut #seo changbin x reader #changbin x reader #skz binnie #skz changbin #skz seo changbin #binnie skz #dwaekki

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portalhan · 2 years ago

Text

૮♡૮ )o zZz . . LIVING TOGETHER WITH HWANG HYUNJIN!

pairing: hwang hyunjin x gn!reader

format: bullet-form headcanons

themes: domestic nonsense <3, established relationships, fluff

warnings: none

word count: 1.5k

fae's notes: the first of my 'living together' headcanon series! chose to do hyunjin's first because i've been so down bad for him lately 🧎🏻‍♀️ gonna be working on the remaining members' versions soon ~

check out the other parts of the series: minho | coming soon...

(∗˃̶ ᵕ ˂̶∗) portalhan's masterlist

( ˘ ᵕ˘(˘ᵕ ˘) . . A.M

the both of you aren't exactly morning people. despite being working adults with actual places to be at 10am in the morning, you and hyunjin would always bargain for extra shut-eye time. every single time the slightest rays of sun would peek through the blinds, hyunjin would groan softly and pull the covers over both your heads. you—being the more responsible one—would always mumble something about needing to get up while simultaneously being half awake, to which hyunjin would grumble something back about how he really needed the extra 10 minutes or he'd shrivel up into a dry raisin.

when you do finally get up though, you'd honestly quietly give in to hyunjin and leave him like 15 more minutes to sleep. in the meantime, you'd head straight to the kitchen to make breakfast and lunch for the both of you, right after freshening up. hyunjin absolutely loves anything you cook for him—"how could i not? my baby made this with so much love," he cooed once, while absolutely covering every inch of your face with little kisses. every morning like clockwork, he trudges out of the bedroom with his hair in a complete mess, eyes only half open from the puffiness, and engulfs you in the biggest bear hug from behind as you pack the food into cute little lunchboxes for him.

if he still doesn't leave bed even when the aroma of breakfast is practically wafting into your room, you'd usually yell at him from the kitchen, and it goes something like this:

"hyunjin, i made breakfast! come eat it while it's still warm."

"when i agreed to this 'moving-in-together' thing, i thought we made it clear that i will not be out of bed before 8am."

"i made pancakes."

"i'm coming."

hyunjin loves getting ready together with you. he considers it one of the only few morsels of time he gets to completely spend with you on a weekday, so he makes sure to always cherish it. as cheesy as it is (and you always make sure to tell him), he also always tries to colour coordinate his outfits with yours. he always says something along the lines of, "it makes me feel closer to you even when we're far apart!", so you can't really say no (you secretly enjoy it, but he would never live it down if you ever told him that).

you would then walk to the nearby train station together. both your places of work were on opposite ends of the same line, so you'd part ways there. hyunjin loves pulling you in by the waist and kissing your cheek before saying goodbye, he also sometimes makes a huge deal about leaving your side when he's in an especially good mood. once, he pretended he was the wicked witch of the west but after getting splashed with a bucket of water and melting in the middle of the platform. he also started shrieking, "don't go!" in an eldery lady voice. hyunjin loves making you laugh as much as he loves embarrassing you in public!

( ˘ ᵕ˘(˘ᵕ ˘) . . P.M

obviously, before you and hyunjin are lovers, you are best friends. that means that you both spend the majority of your time apart texting each other updates. you'd send pictures of new knick-knacks you got for him on your lunch break and he'd send you the empty lunch box you packed for him to tell you how much he enjoyed your food. he also loves when you text him updates on the latest office goss—he may not know these people personally, but he for sure knows their deepest darkest secrets, thanks to you. but hyunjin takes comfort in knowing that you think about him even while you're busy at work with whatever huge project you're working on. it may be seemingly insignificant, but to him, every message means a lot.

much like how you part in the morning, you would always arrange to meet hyunjin on the same train platform every evening. you had similar shift times, which meant that you could easily wait for each other and head home together. he usually arrives only slightly later than you do, but every single time the train doors open to the platform, he'd rush out with his arms stretched out and hug you as if he hasn't seen you in 10 years. again, he loves making you laugh as much as he loves embarrassing you in public. it really depends on the day (and how you both are feeling, of course), but you'd either walk home together from there or head elsewhere for dinner and the occasional dessert.

once you guys have dinner though, you would both sink into the couch and continue watching whatever you both are binge-watching at the moment on netflix. you two loooove snuggling beneath a heated blanket while doing so too, especially in the colder months. you and hyunjin are also huge cry babies—every time something sad happened on screen, the entire couch (and maybe even the floor surrounding it) would be littered with used tissues. hyunjin also likes to snack while watching tv and he really loves matcha ice cream, so you always make sure that at least a pint of his favourite brand is stocked in your freezer at all times.

a bit controversial, but you absolutely enjoy doing the daily household chores with hyunjin. you split the load pretty evenly—you'd take care of the laundry while he cleans the floors. hyunjin always puts whatever playlist he's been listening to on the speaker before you start, so the routine would never be boring. most of the time, it would end with you two just dancing together in the middle of the living room with a cheeky glass of red wine each, laughing profusely at each other while hyunjin sings the lyrics to you.

that being said, you and hyunjin do bicker a lot at home, but it never escalates to more than just petty squabble. this is what your bickering would really sound like:

"hyunjin, baby, where did you put the candles i bought last weekend?"

"i'll tell you if you tell me what happened to my favourite underwear?"

"i already told you i don't know wha—"

to be frank, you give him his own share of problems too—you absolutely hate doing the dishes. and then you'd argue like this:

"it's your turn to do the dishes, y/n."

"i'm filing for a divorce."

"we aren't even married yet, baby."

"well, we definitely aren't getting married now!"

( ˘ ᵕ˘(˘ᵕ ˘) . . WEEKENDS & DAYS OFF

hyunjin always looks forward to weekends with you! he absolutely loves being adventurous when it comes to dates and always has new things he wants to try, and the only person he ever wants to share that experience with is you. pottery and tufting classes, roller skating or just simple, quiet days of cafe-hopping around the city... every weekend is something new for the both of you to look forward to, and no matter the activity, hyunjin knew that anything would be amazing as long as he's doing it with you.

but of course, you and hyunjin would have your quiet weekends, too. since you both absolutely loved sleep, you'd indulge yourselves by sleeping in till noon on certain weekends. there's something so magical about waking up when your body actually wants to wake up, and opening your crusty eyes to see hyunjin fast asleep, lips slightly ajar as you feel his steady breaths against your ears.

his arms would usually be wrapped around you too, legs tangled and hair in a complete, irreversible mess. the thing about hyunjin is that he's a bit of a quirky sleeper: he not only snores very slightly, he also has vivid dreams and talks in his sleep. you love hearing him sleep-talk though, just because the way he does it is so adorable—his words would obviously be slurred, drool slightly coating the corners of his mouth, sentences coming out haphazardly without any context.

if he was especially tired, he'd even sleep-gesture. like his actual hands would reach out if he was dreaming about grabbing something. on certain nights, it would be a little elaborate too—once, he started doing a bike-riding motion in bed, on his back. when you asked him about it the next morning, he confirmed it was because he was dreaming of riding some bike. he's always a bit sheepish about the weird things he does while unconscious and always apologises for waking you up like this, but you genuinely don't mind—in fact, you always thought it was adorable. if you didn't like one thing about it, it would be that you could never laugh when it actually happened, because then it would wake hyunjin up.

#hwang hyunjin x reader #hwang hyunjin imagines #hwang hyunjin x y/n #hwang hyunjin x you #hwang hyunjin fluff #hwang hyunjin scenarios #stray kids fluff #stray kids x y/n #stray kids imagines #stray kids x reader #stray kids x you #stray kids scenarios #stray kids #hwang hyunjin #fae writes

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seireitonin · 1 year ago

Note

I love your writing can you do some Jeff headcannons?

A lot of people in my inbox have been asking for Jeff! So here’s Jeff! And tysm!

🩸Jeff the Killer headcannons🩸

Jeff is the worst of the worst

He literally ruined 3 peoples lives just because

He’s very manipulative especially in romantic relationships

Very egotistical and mean

Thinks his face is truly beautiful

He re opens his face wounds to keep it that way

No insecurities there

A sadist and masochist

He loves to be hurt be he thinks is fun

But likes hurting others because he thinks it’s funner

This man is literally out of his fucking mind

He was never a good person even when he was 13

Always wanted to hurt people he just held back because he didn’t want to get in trouble

But when the bullies tried him he completely let loose

And has never stopped since then

He doesn’t regret killing his parents at all

Only trying to kill Liu

No sob story for him

He was always a bad person and always will be

He does have the ability to be nicer to certain people though

Well his version of nice anyway which is not killing them

You have to be around him and tolerate his bullshit a lot before that point though

Even when he is “nicer” to people he’ll still say awful things to and about you, even if he’s joking

Darkest sense of humor ever

Like pitch black

Says the most fucked up things with Toby and LJ

He never liked Nina and never will (luckily she grew up and realized that)

Hated Jane because everyone liked her and she was so sweet

So he decided to kill her parents and ruined her life as a result

Jeff is 29 years old

His full name is Jeffrey Allen Woods-Hodek

He’s 6’0

He’s been killing since he killed his parents at 13

Doesn’t plan on stopping anytime soon

Most of the other creeps don’t care for him much

Him and Clockwork are really close, ironically

And they both talk shit about Nina and Toby constantly

Jeff’s smile and wounds are really infected because he doesn’t shower or take care of them

So EJ is annoyed every time he has to help Jeff

Jeff listens to metal, hardcore, metalcore and emo music

Clothing is always very plain. White hoodie black pants, black hoodie black pants, black and white shirts

The only not plain thing he wears is band shirts

His hair is long and jet black and his eyes are light blue it’s unsettling to look at

Can eat food through the sides of his mouth

It’s really gross to look at

He smells like cigarettes, alcohol and old blood with a hint of the woods

Jeff literally believes he can do no wrong and that he’s perfect in every way

His killings are so gory and brutal

Like only second to LJ

He still has emotions, surprisingly

Too bad most of them come out as anger or aggression and threats

Either really gets along with Toby or really hates him no in between

Yeah sorry this one’s shorter my mind’s drawing blanks rn😭 I’ll make more Jeff stuff if you guys want

#creepypasta #creepypasta fandom #creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta hcs #creepypasta characters #crp #jeff the killer #jeffthekiller #jeff the killer hc #jeffthekillerhcs #jeff the killer headcanons

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gilbirda · 7 months ago

Text

Ceremony

This would Danny and the Whisper first in-person meeting. It doesn't go as well as Danny would have wanted.

This one is full eldritch babyyyy

Context for this excerpt: Masterpost

---- Word Count: 2758 ------

Once the deceptively small piece of jewelry was in, Danny knew it was way too big for his hand. No shit, it previously was Pariah’s, and even if he remembered Valerie putting it on, when the previous Ghost King wore it something happened that made it fit his giant body.

Not Danny though. He waited a few seconds for the ring to do something, maybe some kind of lightshow like the crown did a minute ago, but nothing.

He looked up at Clockwork, searching for help. “I don’t—”

Time stopped.

Weird thing, Clockwork was also frozen in place. So it wasn’t him who did this.

“My favorite.”

A voice… THE voice said in his head, at last making sense and not being random gibberish.

“What’s going on? Who— Who are you?” he said out loud, one eye on the frozen people before him.

“My favorite…” The voice’s volume faded instead of becoming louder.

“Hey! Come back!” Danny struggled against the chains. He looked down, finding black gloved hands.

Black gloves. A white suit.

He looked up, finding he wasn’t at the castle anymore. Not even in the Ghost Zone. He wasn’t even a halfa. Human. Human fourteen year old Danny, about to make the mistake that changed his life forever.

The portal. In front of him was the shut down portal, completely harmless, waiting for him to turn it on for the first time. For him to die there.

Danny took a step towards the machine, his heartbeat loud in his ears, something it hadn’t done since his death that very day. On the back of his mind he registered a ticking noise, soft, but constant, present, reminding him of the passage of time towards the very second he pressed that button, the next few seconds when nothing happened, the final few seconds he felt his body burn from the inside out.

His feet guided him like on autopilot towards the hole in the wall, his body moving on its own, not looking at his friends watching him, Sam with the camera ready to take a picture, excited. Or Sam watching with a resigned expression besides the controls. Vaguely he wondered if he was seeing both versions of the story — the original one and the one where Sam had wished to never know him and they had to redo everything from the beginning.

Whatever the case, he found himself inside the portal. There was a low machine humming — no, it was a voice. Both? The ticking noise became louder, eating away his thoughts. He couldn’t think, he couldn’t process. Danny had to press that button and die again. Third time's the charm, right? He had to. He had to.

He pressed the ‘on’ button, and the humming stopped. The ticking stopped.

The machine didn’t turn on. He turned towards the entrance of the portal, expecting someone there who could explain what was going on. Wasn’t he supposed to be somewhere else?

“My favorite, at last.”

Danny turned back, finding—

The first thing he noticed was the teeth. The other end of the portal had been engulfed in pure darkness, slithering through the metal surface towards the light. In the midst of that darkness, an enormous smile made of perfect white teeth ran from one side of the hole to the other.

The mouth didn’t move, but he heard the voice nonetheless. “We meet at last, my favorite.”

It was weird, Danny thought, how the creature’s voice sounded. He heard the whisper from before as well, but this voice was not talking in a language he could understand; instead, it underlined the creature’s words like a movie with two audio tracks in different languages at the same time.

Danny also noticed that he wasn’t freaking out. He should, especially when just a bit over the mouth, a green eye opened.

“I’ve been waiting for you.” The creature said not moving its mouth. “And now you are mine.”

This made Danny snap out of it. He opened his mouth to speak, but his vocal chords didn’t seem to work for him.

He tried to think hard at the creature instead. “Who are you and what’s happening?”

The creature chuckled in that deep, rumbling voice.

“I am everything. You are mine. We are bonded.”

Bonded.

The Core?

Was… Was this… thing, this clearly-not-a-ghost, sentient being, the Core? The one he was supposed to bond with? The one he was supposed to protect?

“Indeed, my favorite. I am everything.”

“You already said that.”

The creature snickered again, amused.

“I like you,” it continued, the black tendrils of darkness slowly reaching him and circling around his feet. “That’s why I chose you.”

Danny looked down, not missing how the black appendages were looping around his black hazmat boots. Possessive much?

“Not possessive if it's already mine. All is mine. Mine. My chosen.”

“I’m your favorite.”

Danny’s acceptance seemed to please the creature. It purred in vibrations that Danny could feel through his boots. He looked back up, finding that above the opened green eye, two more had opened from the void.

For a brief moment, the halfa felt like he had been duped. He expected… I don’t know… Some kind of sentient piece of rock like the one the Observants showed him; or maybe some kind of god or goddess that ruled over the Realms and over the centuries had been venerated by humans; or in a twist of events, that there was no real physical form of the Core and it was the concept of power itself being bonded to him.

“I am that and more. I am everything. From my flesh the world is created, with my blood my children are sustained. I am the power from where they are born and I’m the place where they go to die.”

As the creature spoke, the hollowed portal was vanishing bit by bit, the darkness flowing and engulfing the surface, finally closing the only source of light until both Danny and the creature were floating in a thick void.

Holy shit, Danny thought, thinking that he should be panicking, but his heartbeat never faltered. In fact, he had forgotten it was there completely. He realized that his heart wasn’t beating.

That’s right. He wasn’t alive. He wasn’t exactly human either.

“Mine… Like all of the others made from my body.”

He was talking about ghosts. The Infinite Realms, ghosts, ectoplasm; everything was literally made from the Core. Everyone he knew, friends and foes, could be reduced to flesh and blood from the thing he had in front of him.

Two more eyes opened.

“Why… Why?”

He didn’t know what he wanted to ask. Why tell him this? Why was he ‘chosen’? Chosen for what? What, exactly, was this coronation ceremony?

The mouth widened in the darkness, revealing a much bigger body. The mouth with too many teeth grew and grew, until Danny had to guess the size of the creature was at least as big as his house.

Five more eyes opened, the collective glow of the green hinting the real size of the body. All the eyes were fixed on him.

“I chose you that day. I felt you get closer and closer to me, I tasted you, and I knew I wanted you. But you didn’t become completely mine, even after making sure you would belong to me in the end.”

A halfa, half human and half ghost. Halfway in the grave. Halfway part of this creature.

“Indeed,” it chuckled again. “It only made me desire you more.”

Creepines aside, Danny still didn’t have all the answers. “Chosen for what? To eat me?”

This amused the creature. “I am everything, but I cannot enjoy what I have created, I cannot meet the children that exist because of me. My favorite makes sure I can.”

The King. He understood now — the Ghost King is some kind of communicator between the Core and the ghosts. Intermediate? The middle man. Okay. Okay, he could deal with this.

But the creature was snickering again. “You will be that and more, dear favorite. You will be my eyes, my mouth, my hands. You will be the well from which I can nurture my children and ensure that the balance is maintained. I will need you as much as you will need me.”

“What do you mean?”

“I cannot exist if I’m separated from my body for too long. I need to ensure that it doesn’t happen, and for that, I require a certain… minimum of power fed to me. My chosen has to be strong and powerful to keep up with my appetite.” The double layered voice glitched at the end, as if speaking of this ‘appetite’ ignited something in it.

Or else, was also implied in the end. Or else this… thing would eat the Infinite Realms and all its residents to recuperate its body. Or else everything would be destroyed. He remembered the void from that vision Clockwork showed him, back when he asked what would happen if he refused. A black void eating away everything it touched.

He looked around him, noticing for the first time the black tentacles covering his body, crawling through the void towards him, caressing him, as if they couldn’t believe he was real.

“I’ve been waiting for you.” The creature said again. “I wanted to make you mine.”

“But I’m already yours,” the words escaped his mind before he could reign it in.

What else could he say, though. There was no going back now. He accepted, he wore the relics, he consented to this.

Somehow it didn’t make it better.

The creature purred, and the whispering increased in volume. It was pleased.

“Not enough, not enough. I need you more. I can’t have you, but I want you.”

Danny felt the tentacles crawl up to his face, softly touching his cheeks, his ears, his hair. Soon, he could see them as well, barely distinguishable from the void background and the obscure creature made of eyes and a mouth. He considered the thought of pushing the tentacles away, but his hands were pinned to his body, as the dark appendages encircled his body like a boa constrictor.

Whatever. It was too late to resist, to step away, to say no. And how could he deny anything to the Core? How could deny anything to this creature?

He couldn’t, because he belonged to it now.

His vision became blurred with tears of defeat. He vaguely wondered if every king before him felt like this — if they also felt the crushing defeat before even trying, like all the power and training didn’t mean anything after all. Because there was no Core. There was no glory in this.

Fortunately for him, he was never in it for the glory. He knew what he had to do, and he did it. That’s approximately how he rolled since the accident.

He looked up at the eyes, noticing that more and more were opening. Danny blinked away the tears as much as he could, ignoring how the tentacles tried to wipe them for him.

“I understand,” he was glad that they were speaking with their minds, because he didn’t trust his voice. “I will be your King. I will bridge the gap between your creations and you, like you wanted.”

“Ah, my favorite. Always the bridge. Always the middle. Always between two worlds. I love it.” The creature purred. “I then offer you my power. My blood will run through your veins and my flesh will be your skin. What is yours will be mine and what is mine… will be yours.”

Just as it said the last words Danny felt electricity course through his body, starting from his left hand and up to the rest of his body. He closed his eyes, knowing what was going on. He knew this. His accident, once again. He got the torture part anyway, huh.

But it wasn’t the same, though. Apart from the electrocution and the sensation of burning (the smell, that horrible barbeque smell imprinted in his nose); Danny could feel like something was piercing his skin and wiggling its way into his body. He had room in his consciousness to feel nauseated.

He heard himself scream his throat raw once again, at least until the sound was cut abruptly and his larynx felt like it was on fire and then dunked into ice.

From there, the sensation made waves down his body, touching every organ and every muscle and every bone, and he could feel it oh my god what’s going on.

“Relax, child. We are becoming one.” He thought he heard the layered voice speak in his tormented mind.

Somehow he managed to open his eyes, ignoring the white pain behind them. The creature was… different, once again. Where before there was void, he could finally see light dancing around the actual shape of the creature, confirming that its actual size was gigantic, beyond what he could have guessed, with many more faces and many more eyes and mouths.

He saw the darkness that formed that body slither towards him, quickly and swiftly, as if the creature feared that taking its time would scare him away.

Danny didn’t know how long he floated there as the void was forced into his human body, but after what felt like minutes and hours at the same time, he wondered how everything was going to fit inside him.

Soon he stopped being overwhelmed by the pain and simply remained there, defeated and waiting for the next wave of darkness coming to merge with his body. It hurt. Everything hurts. There was only pain consuming every bit of available space in his mind, not leaving much room for regrets.

A pressure started building behind his eyes. He vaguely wondered if that meant that the suffering was coming to an end.

“You need to become more to be whole with me,” the creature whispered in his burned and frozen ears, but this time it sounded different. A new layer was sandwiched between the weird language one and the other he had spoken before. The new voice sounded eerily like his own.

The pressure kept going up and up and up until Danny had to close his eyes to try and mitigate the migraine-like feeling. It was useless, it kept building.

“Make it stop!” When did his hands go to his hair? He didn’t remember moving them. He screamed when he felt like his head was going to explode.

He heard a pop and with the new wave of painful darkness, his mind expanded.

Now there was so much room inside, like his thoughts were there but were only a small allotted space for them to exist. He could see more and feel more and sense more. He saw himself floating in a now almost completely white void, crying with his eyes closed.

He saw how his skin had darkened into almost a purple color, rippling with the vibrations of the waves as they entered his body, revealing cracks in the places the tentacles had pierced his skin. Through the cracks black ooze was almost pouring out, a swirling mass that reminded him of the form the creature presented itself as. Sometimes, he could see a green eye or perfectly white and sharp teeth peek through the open wounds.

Danny couldn’t recognize himself. He didn’t feel like himself anymore. Something else. He was something else.

“We become whole.” The new layered voice said, but it wasn’t in his mind. Danny saw as it came from his own mouth.

As the last of the remaining darkness flowed into his body, his vision of himself faded, but he didn’t need to see it anymore.

He could feel that the process was coming to an end. He was feeling more awake, more aware of his body, of his limbs, of his senses. He looked down at his hands — purple skin, black claws oozing dark void mass — and he wondered if he would be able to go back to normal.

What was normal for him anymore? He chuckled, and he heard the other voice, the Whisper, mixed in with his.

As the last of the tendrils were absorbed into his mangled body, Danny felt his strength leave him. He fell to his knees first, one hand quickly moved to stop his fall, but his sore muscles failed him.

“... I really, really like you, Danny…” was the last thing he heard before his head hit a familiar stone floor and everything went black.

#Eldritch Ghost King!Danny #danny phantom #The king's dead (long live the king)#this was one of the first scenes i wrote #i knew in my head what I wanted to say #this is the central piece!#this is where Act I ended

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allaboardsubmas · 1 month ago

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A Spark of Something New - Chapter 7 (Title Formerly: Bound by Choice)

A/N: So to those curious "Bound by Choice" was a title I came up with at 3am just to name the Google Document. I decided to put in a little more effort! (Also, the chapters now have titles of their own!)

Fandom: Pokemon (Black & White, All Media Types, Legends: Arceus)

Characters: Original Character, Kudari | Emmet, Nobori | Ingo

Rating: Teen Audiences

Summary: Andy has always been afraid of pokemon and what it is that they’re able to do, which makes their life rather hard considering they’re twenty-two, live in Unova, and work in Nimbasa City; which is known as the battle capital of their region. Their closest friend and semi-adopted mother being a former gym battle leader also didn’t tend to help matters.

A panic attack on a subway car they thought was empty, however, leads to them meeting the infamous Subway Bosses and learning that pokemon, while terrifying, weren’t the monsters they had grown up believing them to be. Getting sucked up into the lives of the two Subway Bosses and their best friend Gym Leader Elesa might be even more terrifying than the pokemon, however.

AO3 Link: Bound by Choice

Chapters 8 Immediately Available on Patreon

—

If you enjoy this story then check out my Writing Commissions.

…or, if you prefer, you can just buy me a ko-fi! ☕ …or, if you have a nice allowance, support me on Patreon! 🪶

—

Chapter 7 - Andy Runs Into The Brothers (Again)

Letting out a massive breath as she slumped back into her chair, Andy looked away from her work computer and instead to where her not quite so new friend was charging her xtrans for her. “Well, little buddy, we did it. We survived the work week.” Andy reached down to give Joltik a few pets, laughing at how he arched into them. “Maybe I should just call you my little outlet at this point.”

Already within the week Andy had found her life changing drastically since accepting the Joltik as her own. First, her xtrans had yet to die, not with her new ‘outlet’ always keeping it fully charged with the stores of electricity he siphoned from batteries and the outlets at work when Andy ‘wasn’t looking.’ Second, she was certainly never lonely.

The little guy refused to go into his pokeball, to the point the last time Andy had tried to put him in there he had broken out to the amusement of everyone on the train. She had given up after that. It ended up being helpful since her Joltik knew like clockwork when it was time for her to stand up, take a break, or even eat. He was probably the only reason she had eaten today, nipping and playing with her fingers when she tried to ignore her alarms and sparking up a storm until she agreed to eat something for herself rather than just feeding him to distract him. It was… Well. It was the opposite of everything her mother had ever told her when it came to pokemon and what it was they could do.

“Andy! It seems every Friday I find you here late enough to be part of the night shift!” Ah. Anthony. Her own eternal torment in human form. And here she thought she would need to fear pokemon as her final end. “That energy you have is just something else. Wish I had it!” Oh, here they went again.

Andy nodded along and feigned interest as Anthony kept talking, not seeming to notice Andy shutting down her computer, gathering up all her cords and USBs, and nudging Joltik onto her shoulders- Actually, that one he noticed. “-pokemon of all things! We didn’t think you’d ever get one.”

“Ah. Yeah. He was a little bit of a surprise.” That was another thing that had changed with the addition of her Joltik. It seemed everyone was curious about him, especially since Andy had always been the only one in the office to not have a pokemon. The cons of working at a place that dealt with nonstop information about pokemon. “Well, Anthony, I should probably-”

“Oh, that reminds me!” Damn. She had been so close. “A few of us are making plans to get together over the weekend and visit a couple bars around Nimbasa. Now, I know you’re pretty young and all, but we wanted to extend the invitation…” Oh. Oh, no. Social obligations.

“Oh- Oh! That’s, uh, that’s really sweet, Anthony, but…” Excuse. She needed an excuse. She needed to find an excuse right that second- Her Joltik whined loudly, shivering sharply on her shoulders and making a weak wheezing noise. “Joltik is sick! He’s been feeling under the weather all day and I really need to take him to the Pokecenter and if it’s something too bad I don’t want to leave him on his own all weekend, you know?”

“Of course! Pokemon health comes first,” Anthony nodded seriously, Joltik wheezing again and Andy gathering up the rest of her things. “Maybe another time?”

“Definitely, but for now I should get this little guy seen. Bye, Anthony!” Quickly rushing to the locker rooms, and feeling a spark of fear, Andy looked over to see that her Joltik was bouncing and chirping and no longer shivering and oh- Oh! “Did you just feign being sick so I could escape?”

Andy dropped her cords onto a bench, scooped up Joltik into her hands, and placed a loud kiss on top of his head. “I love you. You are the best pokemon to ever exist in this world.” The squeaking reached levels loud enough to echo off the walls, Andy not even caring and giving him another kiss to the top of his head because he had even reigned in his sparks to make sure not to hurt her and he was so delightfully soft and fuzzy. “You are getting so many batteries when we get home little buddy.”

Slinging off her lab coat and clip-on tie into her locker, Andy grabbed her fluffy yellow shawl and wiggled it on, snorting when Joltik jumped up to latch onto it. “At least I have the colors needed to go for an electric theme on my fem days, huh?” Joltik gave a little spark of agreement, Andy thanking her sister once again for sending her a shawl made of treated Wooloo wool that didn’t collect static electricity. It was the only thing saving her at that moment.

“Alright, little buddy, let’s get out of here.” Slinging her bag around her shoulders, Andy made for the gauntlet of elevators once again, feeling much less dizzy and exhausted than she had last time she had stayed hours late to get a batch of work done. Who knew that eating throughout the day really helped? Now if only she could learn to say no when her co-workers asked her to finish up their portion of work… Maybe-

Houndoom. Barking. Andy sucked in a breath and then watched as Joltik jumped off of her and onto the floor, chittering loudly and giving off an array of sparks that had the Houndoom slinking away, a few grumbling noises leaving as he laid down and tucked his head across his paws. The guard — and Andy was right, his name was Rupert — laughed.

“Wow. That’s the quickest I’ve ever seen him settle! You know, if you ever want a battle…” Ah. Shit. That was another thing that had changed. Everyone wanted to battle now.

“Maybe not this late at night,” Andy joked, making sure Joltik had scuttled back up onto her shawl — she really was getting way too used to him climbing her — before heading for the door. “Good night!”

Getting out into the street, Andy immediately bathed Joltik in scritches and scratches, cooing at him, “Good job, buddy, you terrified that big mean Houndoom in there.” And had made Andy feel foolishly better at seeing such a little bug stand up to the giant thing. “Ahh… maybe I should register you as an emotional support pokemon. Make everyone stop asking for battles in the battle capital of the region!”

Clamping her mouth shut at realizing she was yelling randomly in public, Andy looked around quickly, pleased that no one was staring at her for her outburst, but, well. It was Nimbasa. They had seen weirder. Putting Joltik back onto her shoulder, Andy sighed and started walking the familiar path towards Gear Station.

“Tell you what, buddy, I wish I had gone to Castelia City like I thought this job was based in. But no. That’s where headquarters is. Instead we’re here in Nimbasa because it allows for quicker data dump transfers between regions with the way the network is set up!” Andy was pretty certain her Joltik understood nothing of what she was saying, but he was a good listener and engaging with his little chirps and squeaks so it didn’t feel like she was alone in a huge city at night. She really needed to start saying no to her co-workers on Fridays.

“Next time we say no,” Andy said firmly, breathing in time with the way her Joltik moved from shoulder to shoulder methodically, scuttling around like a metronome that was keeping her sane and distracted from everything else rushing by around her. “Especially with it starting to get so close to winter and it getting dark so late.” Andy was terrified of pokemon, but she was scared of a lot of other things in general. Walking alone in a huge city at night when she grew up in a small little town was one of them.

At least she had company, now. It made it easier to focus on her breathing to try and keep it even as she rushed down the stairs into Gear Station, eyes trained for the signs and departing times because she was not boarding the wrong train this time. If she did then she had a feeling those twins would find her again and that white one, Emmet, would be a bastard about it.

Unfortunately, focusing all of her attention on the signs meant she didn’t focus on what, or who, was in front of her. It was definitely her fault when she ran into someone hard enough to almost send them both to the ground, the two scrambling to catch themselves and Andy already spitting out apologies before she felt a hand fist around her shawl and jerk her forward hard enough for her to lose her breath, “Hey! What’s the big fucking idea!” Oh. Oh no. “The fuck I do to you, huh?!”

“N- No-” Andy tried to explain, because she definitely hadn’t meant to start anything, and now someone was holding her in place by her shawl, which was really more of a cardigan type of jacket thing that wasn’t really easy to slip out of since it went over her head instead of buttoning up, and that was definitely the wrong thing to be focusing on when she still hadn’t said anything, and she heard the guy still yelling as she was pushed backwards and her back hit a wall.

“Nothing, right! So you’re just going to be like everyone fucking else and start some shit just because you can, huh?!” The man was yelling loud enough for her ears to ring, but no one else seemed to hear. It was just them. It was just her crouched up against a wall with her mother’s voice ringing out I told you so as she tried to explain and couldn’t even form a single word-

Sparking.

Eyes snapping to the side to see her shoulder, she saw her Joltik was starting to spark and Andy felt her heart plummet down to her stomach fast enough to make her sick as she hissed out a frantic, “No-!” The man didn’t seem to hear her, still yelling in her face, but Andy could only focus on one thing at a time, and pokemon weren’t allowed to attack humans. If her Joltik attacked him then he could be taken from her, and she couldn’t- Enough people had already left her.

Andy grunted in surprise as she felt the fist holding her shawl give a rough shake, her attention snapping back to the man. “What? You too good to talk to someone like me? That’s it, huh? Just because I look a certain way it’s okay to just push me around, huh?!” The man, who looked like an absolute wreck and was wearing a very cliche leather jacket, sounded like he was as close to crying as Andy felt. He also didn’t notice Andy’s Joltik jumping to the floor and running off and okay- Okay. That was good. Maybe he would find Emmet and at least be taken care of. That was something. “Just like everyone else!”

Oh. Oh, for- Andy was being accosted by someone with self-worth issues because she bumped into him too hard? Opening her mouth to try and at least explain, and maybe not throw up from stress because she wasn’t all that tall and this guy was and she was having a heart attack- “Well, if it’s a battle you want, I’ll be happy to give you one!”

Whatever amusement or sympathy Andy had fled. Instead she froze, head swimming and feeling disconnected from her body as she watched the man grab a pokeball from his belt, raising his hand into the air. His other hand still had her pinned. She could barely even think, let alone try to break his grip, and if a pokemon was released right here in front of her she couldn’t do anything not even run and-

She froze.

So did the man.

They both froze because directly above them was the sound of a large creature screeching. Andy barely even realized she was let go, the man stumbling away from her and allowing her to look up even as she tried to stop herself.

Above her head was a large, angry Galvantula, clinging to the wall and not even a foot away from touching the top of her head. Andy was almost certain she would be screaming if she had the breath for it, listening to it hiss and spit as hairs rose along it’s body, sparks arcing across it and poison seeming to coat it’s pedipalps. A wild thought flew through her head that she at least knew the anatomy of what was about to kill her.

Before she could even collapse or scream or whatever else her fear response told her to do, she looked at the Galvantula’s head. There, nestled in the fur, was an angrily sparking Joltik. A shiny Joltik- Her shiny Joltik. Apparently he hadn’t been leaving her. He had been getting reinforcements.

Andy couldn’t stop her weak, choked wheeze of a laugh, whispering a soft, “Good job, buddy.” up towards the little guy. Her amusement quickly fled when her attention snapped to movement in front of her, the guy now looking even angrier as he raised his pokeball.

“Fucking bugs. I’ll squash all of ya-!” Slamming her eyes shut, Andy hunched over and hugged herself tightly, mentally apologizing to Lenora for no doubt being put in charge of her funeral.

Before she could get too far in planning on her ghostly hijinks, however, she heard a much louder, angrier voicer. “That is quite enough.”

Her eyes snapping open, Andy saw an enraged frown and a hand gripping the man’s wrist tightly to prevent him from throwing his pokeball. Her vision was then blocked by a white coat, Andy slumping against the wall and closing her eyes again and okay. Okay. No ghostly hijinks yet, then. It didn’t seem likely she’d die when the Subway Bosses were between her and any and all possible danger.

That didn’t mean she couldn’t just… mentally shut down for a few moments. Maybe minutes. She just needed a little bit of time to remember how to breathe- Someone was gently nudging her back. Light enough to barely feel it, but enough to get her to take a step forward. The sensation repeated and walking. The sensation wanted her to walk. She could do that. Walking was something she had experience in.

She really must have had a full mental shutdown because the next thing she was really aware of she was sitting on a train, Ingo and Emmet on either side of her, and her Joltik in her hands and looking up at her while squeaking before giving one of those loud chirps that definitely should not come from a body that small.

Unable to help herself, Andy echoed it back quietly, smiling a little at the answering chirp before jumping at the quiet laugh from one of the boys.

Before she could say anything, it was Emmet to speak, stating a blunt, “You are causing a lot of trouble.” Andy saw Ingo frown directly at Emmet, but all she could do was stare at Emmet for a long moment before giving a weak, startled laugh.

“I’m not sure if you’d believe me that I usually try to stay out of trouble,” Andy managed to reply, feeling her heart finally start to resume a normal rhythm now that she was safe on a train between two of some of the most powerful pokemon trainers in the whole region. It was hard to be afraid after seeing what it was they could do and then watching them make dumb jokes. “Are we…?”

“We are on our way to Nacrene City,” Ingo answered promptly, voice as loud and enthusiastic as always. It was starting to be comforting, oddly enough. “Forgive us for our assumptions, but we presumed you were on your way home?”

“You presumed correctly,” Andy smiled, blowing out a shaking breath. “Thank you- Thank you both, for- For that. You’re really good at the whole saving me in the nick of time thing, you know. Ever consider-”

“Why did you not have your Joltik use an attack to buy you time to escape?” Ah. A man with self-worth issues would not be her downfall. Instead it would be the Subway Boss that had no concept of letting a matter drop and instead rubbing her mistakes into her face. “You are no longer scared of him.”

“It wasn’t- I wasn’t going to- I mean-” Andy stumbled over her words, trying to find the right ones and failing. Ingo, blessed wonderful person he was, tried to direct his bastard brother’s attention elsewhere.

“Emmet, I’m not certain now is the time to inquire about this.” The tone was the warning one all older siblings used when their little siblings were pushing their luck. Andy was very familiar with hearing it.

Emmet, however, did not seem to have the same sense of fear that Andy did, instead just tilting his head. “You are not dumb.” Ah. A compliment. How flattering. “Surely you are aware of what moves that Joltik knows. Even a simple String Shot-”

“Pokemon who attack humans get taken away,” Andy blurted, almost as loud as Ingo as she brought her hands — brought her Joltik — closer to her chest. “If they attack humans then they’re- They’re dangerous. It proves they can’t be trusted and they get taken and- I only just got him and I don’t-” Some sparks against her fingers, gentle and more like the surprise of static shock, had her looking down to where her Joltik was looking up at her. Once he was sure she was looking, he moved to gently nuzzle against her palm.

The train car was silent, Andy using the gracious seconds to get her breath back and screw her head on straight before looking up at the two. Ingo was frowning, but seemed worried more than anything. Emmet was smiling, but the smile was tense at the corners, like he wanted to say something and was only just holding himself back. Andy appreciated it.

“Thank you, both of you, for helping. And… sorry. I keep causing you two a lot of trouble, I feel like.” First with having a panic attack on one of their trains and making them accompany her all the way to Nacrene, and now with all this.

Emmet was the one to respond first, unsurprisingly, sighing loudly and dramatically. “You are a lot of trouble-”

“Emmet!”

“-but luckily for you we are verrry good at dealing with troublesome situations!” Emmet beamed even as Ingo scoffed and Andy tried to fight back a laugh. The two were so… well. Andy wasn’t sure she had the right words, but they were very hard to feel uneasy or afraid around.

“It is our job to see all passengers safely to their destinations,” Ingo added on, sounding firm and wonderfully reliable. Definitely Andy’s favorite. “Whether that’s giving them directions or dealing with more… unsavory situations, we would never let a lost passenger stay lost.” Ingo’s lips twitched, a little lopsided sort of smile that was still somehow a frown. “Besides, our friend Elesa has been in much more troublesome situations that we’ve had to deal with.”

“Her trouble is the worrrst,” Emmet groaned, rolling and dragging out the ‘r’ in the word in a way that was vaguely familiar in the way he did it so often. Vocal stim? Hm. Not her business. But interesting- Hang on, Elesa? Why did that name sound familiar- “More importantly. What is your Joltik’s name?” Shit.

Andy hesitantly looked at Ingo. Frown was there, but something about him seemed amused. No help was coming from there. “Right. Name. Because I’ve had him for a week and I’ve definitely given him a name by this point.”

“Exactly!” Emmet chirped, sounding scarily like a Joltik himself even as his grin looked like something from a horror movie. “So what is it?”

“It’s, uh, it’s…” Andy looked around the train car, down at the floor, and then to her Joltik. She might have been projecting, but it also seemed like he was saying I’ll be alright with whatever you give me. It was devastatingly effective. She just- She hadn’t meant to put off naming him! She had just been waiting for the right moment! For some kind of- Some kind of… “Spark.”

The train car was silent again, Andy somehow feeling that Ingo and Emmet both were giving her a chance to change it, because alright, yes, it sounded very childish and like a child’s first pokemon but- But it was. It was her first pokemon and he had brought her life just the spark she had needed, so- Yeah. Yes.

“His name is Spark,” Andy said firmly, looking up to see Emmet beaming and Ingo lightly clapping.

“Bravo! An excellent name for such a stalwart companion!” Ingo sounded so excited and Emmet gave a delighted laugh and for a few moments Andy felt like everything was so good. Emmet, as usual, had to go and ruin it.

“Does this mean you are going to be looking into battling, then?” Forget Anthony being her eternal torment in human form. That honor belonged to Emmet. “It would help you bond to Spark more, and give you more confidence should you ever derail like you did tonight or find yourself in a difficult situation. I would also love to battle you on the Doubles Line one day-!”

It was the most Emmet had ever spoken to her at once and Andy only felt mildly bad about interrupting him. “Absolutely not.” The pout made her feel less bad. “I am not a battler, not in any way, shape, form, or anything.”

“While normally I encourage passengers to try new things in their life, I find I must agree with Miss Andrea,” Ingo offered, Andy taken aback for a moment because- Hold on. ‘Miss Andrea.’ That was cute. “While as unbelievable to some as it may be, battling is not for everyone, Emmet.”

“Boo,” Emmet pouted, Andy wondering how such a respected and feared trainer could act so… normal. “Brother you are so good with people and yet so bad.” The offended scoff Ingo gave had Andy fighting to turn her snort into a cough. Before she could try to offer any help, Emmet was leaning in, smile sly and eyes gleaming. “Here’s a secret for you, Andy.

“I can always tell when someone will make a good, strong trainer or when they would give the best battles.” Battle obsessed as everyone else in the world, honestly. Andy was ready to say as much, pausing when a finger tapped her nose, Emmet continuing, “You have that same look in your eye. That look that would make you a great trainer. That look of wanting to see just how far you can go. Just how far you can push yourself to go. Don’t you want to see?”

Something about the way he asked, about the way he grinned, had Andy feeling a rush of- Of something. Something that was telling her — screaming at her — that she should just let loose, to go wild and fight and scream and yell back at the world that had yelled at her. To take Spark and train them to be stronger than anything that could come their way and fight-

Thankfully, her recent panic attack had made her tired enough that she was able to push it back, instead scoffing, “Ingo is the only reason you haven’t been punched yet, isn’t he?”

On her other side, Ingo snorted, voice still loud even as he ‘muttered,’ “That hasn’t stopped some people before.” It was the dry tone that had Andy laughing, Emmet loudly whining and pouting and trying to defend himself.

Luckily, before he could, the train was pulling to a stop, Andy looking up to see Nacrene station and a familiar Herdier and Watchog waiting at the station for her. Andy laughed again, setting Spark on her shoulder and getting to her feet to rush for the door, stopping just in the doorway.

With Ingo at her back and Emmet grinning at her like that, telling her that she would make a great trainer, for a moment she had felt… confident. She had felt like someone had believed in her and it had been- It had been like lightning.

Turning on her heel, Andy looked back to the two boys, who were watching her curiously. Andy took a breath and put on her best smile, “Thank you. For both times now and for Spark, here. I’m not exactly a trainer or battler or anything, but-” She heard the announcements to mind the gap. She heard Watchog’s loud call of her ‘name.’ She saw Ingo’s shoulders relax like a worry had been erased. She saw Emmet beam, excitement swirling around him.

“But maybe I’ll see you two on the Battle Subway one day.” After all, the kid terrified of pokemon having her own that she loved?

Anything was possible after that.

#Pokemon #submas #my writing #original #bound by choice #a Spark of something new

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waywardstation · 2 years ago

Note

Hey. I got cursed with sleepy today, so I wrote this thing about your Phione!Akari story.

Time was ticking down, surely and certainly toward the 48 hour mark. Ingo didn't know why his brain was fixated on that figure, specifically, but as it got closer and closer to two days, he found himself dreading more and more that he might never find Akari. Forty-six hours and--he went to check the sky, but the sun was already set, and Ingo couldn't judge the time from the moon or stars--some number of minutes. Was there a pokemon that could help him tell time, perhaps? The way that Probopass could always tell directions. Maybe someone in the Diamond Clan would know…

"Phi! Phi!" The little pokemon in Ingo's right hand squeaked again, and he hoped he hadn't been accidentally squeezing it too hard. It was squishy, and its body was slightly moldable in a way that made him think it was very fragile. It was like a little angry stress ball, except Ingo didn't know what a stress ball was. It was certainly angry, though, if he was reading its expression correctly.

The pokemon extracted itself clumsily from his hand and flopped toward his shoulder, standing for a moment in the crook of his elbow. It cried again, like clockwork, and the bright sound grated against Ingo's frayed nerves.

"Small passenger, please," Ingo told the pokemon. "Unless you can tell me what time it is, I must ask that you refrain from yelling. You might attract wild pokemon to our camp."

The camp was a little sheltered hollow near the base of Veilstone Cape, where Ingo had set an uncovered bedroll and scratched out a fire pit. But he was simply too anxious to do more than the bare minimum while Akari could still be out there, scared and hurt. To that end, Ingo had stayed out searching late into the day, and he had not even had time to gather wood for a fire.

He would have to settle for a cold dinner before he went out again. Ingo considered what he knew of the landscape, and which areas would be best to search next. With the light of the waning moon so thin, he would want to stay near the ocean, where it was more open, but there would be wild pokemon to contend with, especially if he went south, near Deadwood Haunt.

His own team was tired, and they had been searching for more than a full day. He couldn't ask them to battle in such a state--he would need to keep to safer areas while they had a chance to rest.

But Ingo was still frustrated with the slow pace of his searching. He felt his hand clench around nothing but air--the little pokemon had climbed up to rest in the shadow of his collar. He should have found Akari on the first day, and the fact that he had not chilled him to the bone.

"Phi!" the little pokemon repeated, right next to his ear. Ingo flinched.

"I am sorry," he said, as evenly as possible. "I have been neglecting you, small passenger. What do you need? How can I help you right now while I’m resting?”

The pokemon squeaked impatiently.

"Here, have a berry. You didn't take any of the sweet ones, so I've saved a sour sitrus for you." Ingo struggled to hide how his hand was trembling. That would be a combination of adrenaline and sleeplessness. It would go away once he found Akari.

The little pokemon looked up at him with big eyes, then back to the berry he was offering, then back to Ingo's face. It would have looked so cute and innocent if the pokemon's face wasn't scrunched in frustration. While it was looking Ingo in the eye, it very deliberately reached out one of its blunt, flipperlike hands, and swatted the berry from his grasp.

Ingo sighed. It had some kind of intelligence in its eyes, but mostly indignation. He should have been able to reason with it, but he couldn't figure out what the pokemon wanted. "You have to eat sometime," he told it. "We can try bitter berries next. Please understand, I wish I could devote my time to helping you, but I must find Akari first."

The pokemon squeaked at him again. "Phi!"

Ingo grabbed the pokemon with two hands and sat down in the dirt. Hold it gentle like hamburger, his brain told him, though he had no idea what that meant. "Please sit," Ingo said, as he placed the pokemon into the space left between his crossed legs. "I will--I will find Akari soon, and then she will be so glad to meet you. I'm certain she will want to catch you, and take pictures for her pokedex."

"Phi phi!" the pokemon pleaded. It stretched its little arms up towards Ingo's chest.

"I already tried giving you water, but you didn't drink it. And you had a chance to drink saltwater from the ocean as well, and you ignored that, too. What do you want?"

"Phi," said the pokemon. It flapped a flipper at its own body, then said, "phi phi!"

"If you would like to go, you can go," Ingo said. He uncrossed his legs so that the pokemon had an escape route, from his camp, but the pokemon stayed stubbornly by his side. it put its little hands on his leg, and the cold, clammy feel of moisture soaking into his pants briefly cut through his exhaustion. Ingo gathered the energy to stand up.

"Phiii!" The pokemon hopped up and down as he stood, arms stretched up, reaching like a child that wanted to be picked up. Ingo stooped and obliged it.

"Are you going to follow me while I continue to search? Or would you like to stay at the camp?" Ingo asked. The pokemon didn't offer any answer except to cling to his hand. "Very well," Ingo sighed. "Maybe you can protect me while I search near Aipom Hill. Though I haven't seen you use any moves."

The pokemon in his arms shook its head at him, and used one flipper to point at itself again. "Phi."

"Please, if I let you come with me, will you perhaps be quiet? You have been awake all this time, just as I have. Surely you must also be tired?"

The pokemon reached out to him, and he bent his arms and brought it close to his face to examine. "Is that a yes?"

The pokemon's expression became momentarily placid. Its eyes sort of looked like a human's instead of a pokemon's, though Ingo had no idea what its species normally displayed. It looked at him, laser focused, as though it was trying and failing to use telepathy.

Ingo met its gaze, unblinking, then the pokemon used one arm to slap him weakly across the face.

"Okay, I'm putting you down, now." He set it on top of the unused bedroll. His cheek felt wet in a way that was almost refreshing, but he didn't want the pokemon to think that he liked getting hit.

"Phi phi!" the pokemon said, quite unhelpfully. "Phi!" It used all of its strength to drag at the trailing end of his pant leg, and the tone of its squeaking cry was agonized.

"Are you trying to prevent me from leaving?" Ingo asked. "I have an important mission, passenger, and I will not give it up."

The pokemon shook its head and patted its hands against Ingo's knee, which was the highest spot it could reach. "Phi," it said, mournfully.

"Yes, I miss her very much," Ingo said.

"Phi, phi." The pokemon nodded its head.

Ingo had not seen it do that before. Was he hallucinating? He was certainly very tired. "Are you…also missing someone?" Ingo asked.

The pokemon squeaked, but he could not tell what it was trying to communicate. It used its arms to beckon him down towards the bedroll. He crouched down next to it.

"Phi," the pokemon said. "Phi." It patted him gently about his torso until Ingo got onto his knees, then it climbed into his lap.

"Is this an apology?" he asked, half-skeptical.

The pokemon chirped softly, the first quiet noise that he had heard it make. It settled across his folded knees and nuzzled its little face into Ingo's chest.

"Oh." Why was it acting sweet so suddenly? Why the change of heart? Ingo tried to puzzle out the pokemon's mysterious behavior, but he came up with nothing. If he was more awake, it would probably be easier. Ingo used one hand to stroke the long ribbonlike part of its head. Though the ribbon was watery blue and wet, it still felt soft. "Okay, that's very nice. Would you like to rest, now?"

The pokemon didn't make any noise, and it didn't move either, except for the soft tidal squish of its body, which was sort of like breathing. The entire front of Ingo's tunic was soaked, but the night was warm, and he barely felt it. It felt like most of the rest of the world was far removed from him at that moment, packed away where it could not hurt him. He tried to dig up his worry for Akari, but the feeling was blunted, somehow far away.

He blinked heavily and gathered the little pokemon in his arms. Its eyes were closed. "Good," he told it. "You go to sleep, and I'll keep searching."

The pokemon stirred back awake when he set it down on the blanket, and it clutched at his hand, cuddling it close. Oh, that was cute. Did it know what it was doing to him?

"Shh. Go to…go to sleep," he said, momentarily unsure whether he was speaking to the pokemon or to himself.

The pokemon made a little peeping sound as it hugged his hand. Ingo's eyes were so heavy.

"Okay," Ingo mumbled. "You win. Just a--just a quick nap." He laid down next to the little pokemon and felt his body relax. He could have sworn that it smiled back at him, but he was already asleep.

OP?? THIS IS SO SWEET ;-;

Ingo being so worried over Akari yet still trying to take care of this phione. Phione Akari being so frustrated with Ingo, before just relenting to appreciating her time with him, and trying to get him to rest. GAH!!

The way you wrote this really nailed now if you know it’s Akari, it’s obvious it’s her, but if you don’t, you would have no idea. SO GOOD!!

And the descriptions of a phione’s body, how it’s just this weird in-between of solid and liquid?? THATS SO COOL I love how you wrote it!!

And I love that several people now have had Ingo refer to Phione Akari as Passenger now, he’d probably just use that as her nickname until he realizes it’s Akari.

OP!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WRITING THIS!!! Absolutely in love with this writing, and I will be thinking about it forever ;w;

#wayward’s asks #phione Akari AU #OP THIS IS SO SWEET #GOODNESS #I want you to know I’ve been sick with Covid the last few days and it’s been rough so this was SO NICE to get

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growing-cosmos · 9 months ago

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Kim SeonHo for ELLE MEN Singapore Issue 05 2023 - Full Interview

Kim Seon Ho Keeps Going On

Farisia Thang

The beloved South Korean actor is back and taking things one day at a time — starting with his debut as a villain.

Every movie needs a good villain — but that's a role that not just anyone can pull it off. Especially when the cards are not stacked in your favour. Kim Seon Ho knows this well.

Having always played heroic roles (Hong Du Sik, literally the neighbourhood hero in Hometown Cha Cha Cha or charming second leads who win over the audience's affection, Han Ji Pyeong in Start-Up and Jung Jae Yoon in 100 Days My Prince), there was a certain image that became expected of the South Korean actor. Before taking on the Nobleman in The Childe, it would have been irreconcilable to picture him as a villain, much less an antagonist. Not because there was any doubt in his acting skills, but because it never would have occurred to the masses to cast a man who has been given the endearing nickname "good boy" to play a Machiavellian assassin. Even the director of The Childe Park Hoon Jung didn't see the fit when he first looked at the actor's profile as he thought, "This face is not for noir."

But Kim has always been one to rise to the challenge. Let us not forget that before he was a TV actor, he was a familiar face in the theatre industry. And though it was only at 31-years-old that he debuted in his first TV drama, his so-called big break came three years later with shows like Start-Up and Hometown Cha Cha Cha. This is the way things go: Just when you think he has reached the height of his career, he keeps proving otherwise.

And that is exactly what he's done in The Childe.

Even if it wasn't a comeback role from his two-year hiatus, it still stands as an impressive film debut on its own. This marks Kim's first big screen role and for that reason alone, the Nobleman remains one of his favourite characters. "All of the characters I've played are special to me and I cherish them all, but a memorable character would be my most recent role in The Childe as Nobleman since it was my film debut," says Kim. "I still vividly remember the excitement and nerves I felt seeing my character on the big screen for the first time."

As it is with most of his roles, he runs through a routine. "I usually take a fairly long time to understand one character. I would choose about three or four lines that I like from a script, and then repeat them over and over again in my head. This could be when I'm walking, when I'm in the shower, or when I'm eating." Kim adds, "Sometimes I also make use of music. would put on some good music, put myself in front of a stunning view, and then read out the lines. And as I do that, there would be moments where I realise, 'This is it. This is how this character would say it. From that point onwards, everything else falls into place itself. For this method to work and in order to get closer to a character, studying the script in detail has to come first. It's important to have a good grasp of a character's language and habits.

With the Nobleman, details maketh man. He says, "I developed my character by studying the lead character from A Clockwork Orange, and I spent plenty of time trying to understand my character as Nobleman." Just like he had done many times before, Kim learned new skills to better embody his character. "I got to learn about using handguns for acting for the first time. I did some practice at a shooting range in Myeongdong and I was given a dummy too, so I was able to practice and have a feel of it. That helped me a lot during the actual filming."

To simply call the Nobleman a villain would reduce the character to a flat trope, but Kim's performance and interpretation of him are actually for more nuanced. This is a character who gets imitated by his shoes being dirtied with blood after killing a room full of people, curses with a sadistic smile in an American accent and British accent, chases after the hero while hollering — and yet manages to confuse the audience with whose side he is actually on. Ultimately, Kim's portrayal of the Nobleman brings to life a brutal yet whimsical anti-hero.

And yet, the actor still struggles to pinpoint a moment during The Childe's filming process that he felt proud of himself for. In past interviews, he scrutinised his performance for the movie. Even now, he laughs as he says, "To be honest, it's hard for me to point out areas that I did well in. In my eyes, I mostly see only my shortcomings. Thankfully enough, people who went to see the movie had lots of positive feedback. I was glad and thankful to be praised as a fluid actor."

Fluid is the perfect word here, and yet it still feels like an understatement to the actor's performance. If his previous roles solidified his expected trajectory as an actor, then this character turned it all around - reminding us all that Kim has been honing his craft for over a decade now. He has been finessing this duality for almost 14 years, and while others may rest on their laurels and rely on their experience in the industry to get by, Kim is always looking for ways to better himself.

His recent projects have been movies and because of that "I'm not as pressured having to film a large amount of scenes in a short time as compared to other mediums. The directors told me to take my time between lines, which showed me the art of slowing down." He goes on to say, "When I was younger, I was also taught to enjoy the pauses between each line. I did think that I was already doing so with my acting for dramas, but the mechanics of movies and dramas are still very much different. So I've recently been working on how I can savour those pauses even more." Looking back at the Kim Seon Ho who started acting 14 years ago, the 37-year-old feels envious of his past self. "I'm envious of the experience and how raw my acting was back then. I recently rewatched some of my previous work. In the past, if I were to rewatch something a year later, all I could think about was how inadequate my acting was before. But seeing it again after 10 years makes me realise that that kind of raw acting was something I could do only back then."

Now, what he is able to appreciate about his approach to acting is. that "I'm a lot more composed and poised. My acting was often carried away by emotions in the past, but I think that my acting now has become more rational. I feel that this kind of rationality is also what makes me grow. After all, Kim knows a thing or two about alchemising patience into gold. While he started acting in plays at the age of 23, it was only eight years later that he made his debut on the small screens. But he has never been one to measure his trajectory against his counterparts in the industry. Waiting has always been a welcomed ritual for the actor, and Kim knows it's to that good things take time.

It's like his Hometown Cha Cha Cha character Hong Du Sik said, "Life isn't so fair for all of us. Some spend their whole lives on unpaved roads, while some run at full speed only to reach the edge of a cliff." It's a line that hits close to home for Kim too. "Coincidentally enough, I happened to re-watch that scene just three days before this interview, I searched for the scene randomly one day because I suddenly got curious about the kind of expression and tone I shot that scene with. Through that scene, rather than discovering elements about myself, I focused more on how I could get closer to Chief Hong. But there were moments where I did feel that I was becoming a better version of myself, like when I was preparing for the drama, after wrapping up the filming, and when I met other great characters." He adds, "People say that each word you say and each action you do creates one's character and personality. I think I got to learn a lot through the lines of my past characters like Han Ji Pyeong and Chief Hong, and thanks to them, I am the person I am now."

During his two-year break from acting on-screen, he remained loyal to his earlier comforts — stage acting. While he stayed off social media and film projects, he went back to his roots and performed in the theatre with Touching the Void. In that period of time, "I found comfort in the fact that one has the ability to create a change if they could just think a little differently in times of trouble." He continues, "I felt grateful to be able to share a stage with other talented actors, and I had fun. Touching The Void was a project where I discovered that the results of something can be very different depending on my perspective on a particular situation and on the support I receive. Most of all, I was moved and comforted by the audience members who came to watch the play even though things were difficult due to the pandemic. I was honoured to be able to perform such a remarkable piece of work for the audience, and it inspired me to become an even better actor."

In life and in work, Kim believes himself to be a dreamer. "I am someone who thinks that we must dream big, and I'm happiest when I come close to the goals I've set. Rather than setting a realistic goal but still feeling unsatisfied even after accomplishing it, I find more joy when I set big goals and accomplish it to a certain extent. When he considers his dreams for the distant future, "My goal is for people to remember me as a skilled actor and to be an actor that people want to work with a second time." But for now, his ambitions are straightforward — "I want to try a role that feels real and warm, one that others can relate to."

When he looks back at his career, there is only one thing he can really say he's proud of over the years. "Instead of feeling proud of my own accomplishments, I feel a stronger sense of pride towards the people that have been there for me since the days before I became an actor. Seniors, juniors and directors who gave me advice so I could pass the audition for my first project, agency colleagues who worked tirelessly until I got my first lead role, and my fans who supported my career as an actor. These are people that I'm thankful for and proud of every moment." He continues, "I often have thoughts like, 'How was I able to meet such incredible people?', 'How did I get so lucky to receive such advice from my seniors at this timing?', 'How is it that all these great people. are rooting for me?' Thanks to these people, there have been so many moments in my career that have made me proud that I cannot single out a specific achievement."

His gratitude grounds him because if there's one thing Kim has leamed, it's to take nothing for granted. With the love he's received from fans and friends in the industry, he hopes to return it tenfold. "I hope to repay the love with my acting and to successfully wrap up current projects. By doing so, I think I would be able to welcome 2024 with a happy heart." What that looks like these days is a running list of plays, dramas, and films. And while he's busy with his ongoing projects, for now, "I will be focusing on the upcoming mystery drama Mangnaein. Although I don't know what the future has in store for me, I will work hard to live my best each day."

When he thinks about the actor he wants to be remembered for, he considers the weight of his answer. "Not too long ago, I felt that I was on a plateau so I reflected a lot on it and I'm getting back on my feet again now." He goes on to say, "I hope to be remembered as an actor who constantly improves. (Of course, for that to happen, a lot of effort is needed on my part.) And I hope people think of me as an actor who is always growing, and as an actor who has the potential for even more growth. I hope to refine my craft a little more."

Because at the end of the day, Kim Seon Ho knows when to walk away from comparison. He's never bothered to measure himself to others, and he has no plans to start now. Instead, he holds himself to his own standards. And the version of him today is content to take things as they come, to better himself with every passing day. After all, if there's one thing we know for certain, it's that whatever accomplishments he's made so far are only a step to greater things to come.

—

special thanks to seonhojoy & preferredalways

#kim seon ho #김선호 #kim seonho #elle singapore #magazine cover #editorial #full interview #photoshoot #archieve #korean actor #theater actor #start up #hometown cha cha cha #the childe

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spectacled-renegade-writes · 1 year ago

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An Early Start - Chapter 15 - Danny Phantom

Ao3: Here | Masterpost: Here

Ao3 Description: The accident that turns Danny half-ghost happens when he is four years old and leaves him trapped in the Ghost Zone. Clockwork finds him and takes him in to raise. But what happens when Clockwork sends Danny back to the human-world ten years later when a permanent portal appears?

Chapter 15:

One sunny Sunday morning Danny woke up to a soft knock on his door. He reached over and loudly knocked twice on his nightstand, a system Jazz and he came up with early on, and Jazz opened his door. “I made breakfast. Come eat before it gets cold.” Danny pulled his blanket from over his head to nod at her and she closed his door.

It’s been a while since the two of them have hung out, so Danny got dressed and greeted Jazz in the kitchen, and she said, “How would you feel about having a sibling day today? Just the two of us, hanging out.”

Danny pulled out a chair and took a seat. A day with his sister sounded nice. He’s been so busy lately that he hasn’t had time to just slow down and enjoy the little things. He smiled at her and nodded.

“Good,” Jazz said while she plated breakfast. Danny went to grab an empty plate of his own but Jazz set the plate she just filled in front of him. “Orange juice?” She offered. Danny nodded and thanked her. He was used to this sort of behavior from her. Even after all this time it was still ingrained in her to take care of him, and even if Danny didn’t need her to anymore, he still truly appreciated it nonetheless. “So,” she took a seat and finally began to plate her own food. “I was thinking we could go to the park today. I could bring the chess board and I heard there’d be good winds today, so we could bring a kite!”

Danny paused around the eggs he was chewing and set his fork down. “What’s a K-I-G-H-T?” It’s only been around two months since Danny’s return but he could say simple things in sign language that Jazz would understand. She was still learning but far better than their parents, whose obsession with ghost hunting, which has gotten worse ever since they finally got concrete evidence of ghostly existence, outweighed their concern to learn the one way their long-missing son could communicate.

“It’s spelled K-I-T-E.” Jazz gently corrected, then smiled wistfully. “I’ve always thought they were magical. Kite’s are these… contraptions, I suppose, in the shape of a rhombus, made up of synthetic material with a string attached at the end.” Her face twisted in thought. “Wow, I never realized how difficult it is to explain a kite.” She shook herself off. “A rhombus is the standard shape but I’ve seen really cool ones that can look like dragons… or polygons, or anything you can think of really. Their function is to catch a breeze and you hold on to the string as it flies in the air. I’ve always found them whimsical.”

No matter how hard he tried, Danny still could not picture a kite. But Jazz seemed to be excited about it so he was excited about it, too. So, he smiled and said, “Sounds fun.” In return Jazz made that face she made when Danny used a sign she still did not know. He awaited her question.

“What does this sign mean?” She brought two fingers down her face and tapped the back of two fingers on her other hand.

“F-U-N.” Danny fingerspelled. He watched as Jazz dutifully pulled out a small notebook of her own, much like the one Danny carried, and wrote the sign down to practice later. Danny appreciated that about her, how dedicated she was to communicating with him better.

When they arrived at the park half an hour later, Danny watched Jazz pull a mess of fabric, sticks, and a ball of string from the trunk of her car. He stood to the side holding the chess set and picnic blanket, and wondered how something like that would fly. But, Jazz seemed confident, especially later, when they got to the top of a hill and Jazz had to set down the kite to put her hair up, since the wind kept whipping it around. Danny set on a search for four rocks to keep their blanket from flying around while Jazz set up and by the time he returned, he understood why his sister was so fascinated with these things. Her kite was one of those polygons she described in a mess of vibrant colors. She saw the look on his face and said, “Cool, right?” Danny nodded. “Now, all we have to do is hold on to the string and run until the wind catches it, and it’ll soar into the air. Would you like to do the honors?”

“Me?”

Jazz laughed. “Yeah, you, little brother. Who else?”

So, Danny reached forward, took the kite string, and began to run with it while Jazz cheered. It wasn’t long before the wind picked it up and as it sailed into the sky, a spark of whimsy of his own blossomed, and he found himself once again utterly fascinated with humans; they made this device for the sole purpose of its beauty. As he sat down next to Jazz, and watched the kite flap in the wind, he wondered if Clockwork knew of the existence of these contraptions.

Not long after, Jazz drove a stake into the ground to keep their kite in place, and they began a game of chess. Early on in his return, Jazz asked if he wanted to play, and grew excited when she learned he knew how to play too. Over the weeks they played many games together and each lost as much as they won. At one point Jazz told Danny she’s never had another chess player who challenged her like he did, and it made it more fun. For his part, Danny had to be good, he had to be when playing against Clockwork. Though, in his whole life, he’s only beaten Clockwork three times. To this day Danny suspects those three times were because Clockwork let him win. So, the two siblings lapsed into a comfortable silence as they played their game, occasionally looking up to admire the kite which was still going strong. Jazz spoke during their third game.

“So, how have you been settling in? I’ve been seeing less and less of you lately.”

Danny shrugged as he pondered his next move. “Good.”

“Sam and Tucker seem nice. Are you getting along well?”

Danny made his move and pulled out his notebook. They’re great. I’ve never had friends like them before.

Jazz digested that as she pondered her own next move. “So you’ve had friends before them?”

She got him there. Even after all this time, he still hasn’t told her a thing about the last ten years. He knew the curiosity was killing her but she was still respecting his boundaries. Danny decided to let her have something at least so he nodded, moved his piece and picked up his notebook. We’re still friends.

“Still? As in you talk to this person to this day?” He could see Jazz trying to connect the dots, the game in front of her forgotten. Despite herself she asked, “Were you with this person the whole time?” The moment she asked it she realized her mistake and backtracked. “You don’t have to answer that.”

But, this is his sister, and she’s been so patient with him, so he answered. Kind of. We became friends three years ago but we used to see each other every year. Danny sort of regretted telling her this after he saw her reaction. Jazz was curious, confused, and hurt. She had so many questions she wanted to ask and even more after she finally got one answered. Danny gasped when he saw a tear slip down her cheek.

“Sorry,” she said, quickly wiping the tear away. “Sorry, I just…”

Danny reached over and squeezed her hand, before pulling back and picking up his pen. Ask me whatever you want. But I can’t promise I’ll answer them all.

“Are you sure?” Jazz asked.

Honestly, Danny wasn’t sure, but he didn’t know if he ever would be, so he swallowed and nodded anyway.

“Okay… Okay. Then, the place you were, were you held captive?”

He wished it were a simple yes or no question because, honestly, the answer was both. He decided to tell her just that. Yes and no. The people didn’t hold me captive. The place did.

Jazz’s features faltered. “The place? What does that mean?” Danny shook his head to let her know he wasn’t going to answer that question, so she asked, “Okay… then how about the people? You said you always saw this friend once a year. What was the occasion?”

Danny began to regret letting her ask her questions because it turns out the ones she wanted to ask are the ones Danny couldn’t or wouldn’t answer. If he told her the Christmas party then she would ask about that, which would lead to questions about who he was with and eventually, who raised him. It seemed like every possibility lead back to there. The pen in his hand faltered. I’m sorry. He wrote. His heart was beating fast again and it was all he could focus on. I thought I could do this but I can’t. What was worse was the look of hurt on her face when he looked up, the way she carefully tried to hide her disappointment with concern. Danny looked resolutely back down and began to write. I physically couldn’t come home. I was trapped. I’m sorry I can’t tell you anything else, but know I didn't want to leave you. He saw a tear fall onto the page and he wondered if he was having one of those panic attacks again, because he could feel his heart and lungs more than any other part of himself right now. But, maybe not, because even though they felt bad, they still didn't feel as bad as that one time. I’m really sorry.

“Oh, Danny.” Jazz croaked and scooted around the chess board on her knees to bring him into a hug. So many things were left unsaid between them and the crushing guilt weighed down on him like a ton of bricks. He wished he could tell her so bad. Even Sam and Tucker knew and they haven’t known him nearly as long as Jazz has, which is to say since the day he was born. But, all Danny could think of was how Clockwork told him they weren’t ready, and wondered how long it would be until they were, until Jazz was. Danny was certain he’d never tell his parents; with them he feared obliteration.

Danny and Jazz ended up getting ice cream afterwards and ate it in her car. He got vanilla and she got strawberry. Despite the tears, and the knowing even less than before, there was this feeling of growing closer between them after everything was said and done.

The following Thursday their parents decided to try their own hand at hanging out. It all started one evening when Danny broke curfew.

Curfews were another human custom that Danny didn’t understand. When he was with Clockwork, he wasn’t allowed to leave on his own when he was younger. But, when he was older, Danny was allowed to go out on his own for as long as he wanted. No middle ground. Curfews were a weird in between thing where your parents trusted you and didn’t at the same time, it seemed, and Danny was bad at keeping his.

Tonight, however, he was on track to making it home on time for once. As he walked down his street, three minutes till ten, he kept his hands stuffed in his pockets and watched the sky, trying to see the stars over the light pollution of the town. He saw three ghosts instead.

Well, so much for being on time. He hid behind a car and transformed, then flew up to meet the three vulture ghosts above. “Hello,” he waved. “Can I help you?”

“Mind your own business, fancy-pants ghost boy.” One of the vultures barked and the three of them flew down into a passing bus. Danny followed.

“We’ve been circling this town for hours, we could’ve been halfway to Florida by now, ask for directions!” The second vulture demanded.

“I know where I’m going!” The first insisted.

“You so do not ask him!” The third said.

These vultures were annoying and Danny felt himself growing more and more irritated the more they spoke. “Ask me what?” He demanded, but the vultures seemed hell bent on getting on his nerves because rather than reply, they exited the bus. Danny followed again. Luckily, following finally worked, and they gave in.

The first vulture sighed, resigned, and flew toward him. “We are on a search and destroy mission. Can you help us find and peck to death, this guy here?” Danny watched with dawning horror as the vulture pulled out a torn photo of what was clearly a younger version of Jack Fenton.

Okay, then. Lying it is. “You know, I have seen that guy actually. You guys are dumb out of luck though, I saw him get on a bus to Florida this morning.”

“See!” The second vulture yelled. “What did I say? Halfway to Florida!”

The first vulture groaned. “Fine, fine. Thanks anyway, kid. Let’s go boys!”

Danny watched the three vultures fly off. The torn photo fell away from them and Danny caught it, and wondered why they wanted his father dead. Honestly, Danny thought as he flew back home, he could think of a few reasons. He made it back home but opened the front door the moment the clock struck ten. His parents stood on the other side, hands on their hips. “Cutting it close, young man.” His mother said. Danny looked between the two of them then to Jazz, who was sitting on the couch, looking annoyed at their parents’ attempt at authority.

“Sorry,” Danny said, closing the door. It was one of four signs his parents actually bothered to learn. The other three were: “Yes”, “No”, and “Please”.

“Darn right you’re sorry.” His mother said. “This is getting out of hand.” Danny knew this was going to turn into a lecture so he took a seat next to his sister. “Look Danny, I know you aren’t used to living with us but we’re your family, and you live under our roof again. We’ve been lenient given the circumstances, but you’ve had more than enough time to adjust by now.”

Danny crossed his arms and sunk further into the couch. Next to him, Jazz grumbled, “You say that like we’re a proper family.”

Jack, who had gone back to tinkering with a new ghost hunting device that was with them in the living room, finally poked his head out. “That’s it!” He exclaimed.

“What’s it?” Jazz asked.

“This!” Jack produced a pamphlet advertising a twenty year college reunion. “You can come with your mother and I to our college reunion! We can make it a family trip!”

Jazz gaped. “Wisconsin?!”

“Sure! My old pal, Vlad, is throwing a huge shindig there. We can take the RV so the whole family can go together!” Danny wanted to puke. Jack remained oblivious. “Plenty of time to connect as a family, and I can blather on about ghosts!” The new ghost hunting device malfunctioned and sprayed ectoplasm all over Jazz. “Ha! It works! I can blather on about that, too!”

Danny waited in Jazz’s room while she took a shower to get all of the ectoplasm off herself. When she returned, she was wearing her pajamas and had a towel in her hair.

“Sorry.” Danny said.

Jazz shook her head. “It’s not your fault, Danny. They are who they are.”

“Yeah, but,” he paused, then pulled out his notebook. If I managed my time better, this wouldn’t have happened.

Jazz took a seat next to him and removed the towel, drying her hair as she read it. “It’s my fault,” she said. “They were probably just going to ground you. If I hadn’t made that comment, dad never would’ve gotten the idea to invite us, and we could’ve had the house to ourselves for once, free of ghost crazed parents experimenting in the basement for a weekend.”

How about agree to disagree.

Jazz smiled. “How about we’re both at fault.”

Danny smiled too. Deal.

They left for their trip the next day after school and the moment they were in the RV, Danny regretted it immediately. It was too small in here. Did the windows even open? How long were they going to be stuck in here for? Next to him, Jazz seemed to notice his rising panic because she grabbed his hand.

“Small space?” She whispered. Danny nodded. “I’ll see if I can figure out how to open a window.”

In the meantime, Danny pulled his hood over his head and his sleeves over his hands. He could feel the way ice coated the blue fabric and he wondered why he never lost control of his power this often in the Ghost Zone. As he watched Jazz ask their mother which button controlled the windows, it occurred to Danny that he never used to lose control this much because he’s never been distressed as often as he has been lately. Jazz figured out how to open the back window, and Danny stuck his head out and took a deep breath, the way Tucker and Sam taught him.

“Better?” Jazz asked. Danny nodded again. “This sucks.”

That, Danny could wholeheartedly agree with. Danny kept his head out of the window for the next few hours but when he noticed that Jazz started to get cold, he came back inside and shut the window, and tried to find something else to pass the time. It turns out Jazz brought the chess board so they set it up on their laps between them, and played that for the next few hours.

Eventually, they did stop, and Danny was the very first one out of the vehicle. As his shoes hit the concrete, he took a deep breath. The rest stop smelled of fried food, garbage, and gasoline but he couldn’t care less. Fresh air was fresh air. “Ten minutes and we’re back on the road!” His father called. Jazz stepped out of the RV next to him.

“Cherish it while you can, little brother.”

Apparently, Danny didn’t cherish it enough, because he could feel his own racing heart again not ten minutes after getting back on the road. Danny resolved to shrinking into his hoodie and closing his eyes. He missed the Ghost Zone. He really, really missed the Ghost Zone, especially during times like this. But, for however bad it was now, it was worse later that evening, when all four of them squeezed in the back to sleep for the night. It was too small, too crowded, too warm. Too much. Danny decided he hated road trips.

Danny waited for his family to fall asleep before fazing through the floor of the RV and flying to the roof. He turned into a ghost during that time, and remained invisible as he stretched across the roof and stared at the stars, a nice reprieve from the events of the day. He didn’t need to sleep as a ghost so he contented himself with staying there all night, mentally preparing himself for the remaining trip tomorrow.

The following morning consisted of lots of yawns, coffee, and cracking backs. Danny waited until the last possible moment before having to reenter the RV. During the rest of the trip he shrunk back into his hoodie, closed his eyes again, and listened to whatever Jazz was talking to his about.

But, they finally did arrive, and what a sight it was to behold. “Wow.” Jazz said. Next to her, Danny nodded.

The only other structure Danny has seen as big as this castle is, coincidentally, another castle, belonging to the dragon prince, Aragon. The siblings stepped out of the vehicle with their parents and followed them to the front door to meet the awaiting Vlad Masters. Danny had listened to his father talk about him the previous night but as Danny laid eyes on the man, something about him didn’t sit quite right. But Danny wouldn’t judge too quickly. After all, one could argue that something wasn’t quite right with him. Well… maybe he wasn’t the best example.

As they reached the steps, Vlad greeted them with an easy smile and a sickly sweet voice. “Jack,” he said. “And Maddie! You’ve never looked lovelier, my dear.” He placed a hand on Maddie’s shoulder and gestured the lot of them inside. “Please, please come in.”

Danny noticed the way Vlad closed the door on his father before he could make it inside with the rest of them. But, it must've been a mistake, so Danny paid no mind as looked around the castle.

Definitely… an odd design choice. Jazz thought so too apparently because she actually voiced this thought. “What’s with the green and gold? You’re a billionaire! Surely you could afford an interior designer.”

“I am, as one would say, ‘quite the fan’ of the Packers you see.” Vlad explained. He set a heavy hand on Danny’s shoulder and asked, “Tell me, my boy, are you a fan of football too?”

Danny looked up at this unsettling man but before he could even think of how he was going to respond to that, his mother said offhandedly, “Oh, he doesn’t talk.”

“Can’t talk.” Jazz corrected. “He has no choice.”

“Yes, Jasmine,” Maddie replied in a pinched tone. “That’s what I meant.” A moment of tension rose between the two them, something that happened a lot actually, and it always made Danny feel uncomfortable, but it was just how his mother and sister were to each other. Maddie glanced to Vlad and smiled apologetically. “I, uh, better let Jack in.”

Danny decided to explore while she did that. Besides all the Packers paraphernalia, there was nothing to suggest anything odd about Vlad, so Danny didn’t know why he still had such a weird feeling. But, as Vlad showed them to their rooms, Danny added “flirts with mom and has no patience for dad” to his list of weird things. Well, the second part of that list is a maybe. He knew a lot of people who had no patience for his father, mainly everyone who's ever met him, besides Maddie Fenton.

His parents were shown their room first, followed by Jazz, which left Danny alone with Vlad. Danny jumped when that heavy hand landed on his shoulder again. “Are you okay, Daniel?” Vlad asked. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Danny quickly glanced to the hand on his shoulder before glancing up at Vlad and nodding. He desperately wished he could pinpoint why this man felt so off. But his nodding seemed to appease Vlad, Danny wondered if he even actually cared, and he guided Danny to his room. “Take all the time you need,” Vlad said. “Lunch will be in an hour.”

Vlad left the room, closing the door behind him with a resounding echo, leaving Danny blissfully alone.

Danny skipped lunch and spent the afternoon exploring, eventually settling down with a book on a concrete bench in the garden outside, enjoying the breeze. He loathed the thought of the trip back home in that cramped RV and tried to put it out of his mind as he enjoyed the outside. He looked around the garden. It was as big as a football field and filled to the brim with exotic foliage. It was beautiful, peaceful.

“Enjoying the garden?”

Danny jumped and spun around, finding Vlad standing behind him. For a moment Danny just studied him. In most regards, he just seemed like a polite, wealthy man. Maybe Danny was worried about nothing. After all, he’s misjudged humans in the past. So, he decided to add a smile when he nodded. Vlad moved to take a seat next to him.

“It is beautiful, isn’t it?" Vlad hummed. "I didn’t see you at lunch, are you feeling unwell?”

The concern in his voice sounded real, Danny thought. He went to reach for his notebook because Vlad asked one of those questions where shaking his head could be interpreted both ways. I’m fine. He wrote. I just wasn’t really hungry.

“Well,” Vlad said, adjusting his coat. “I do hope to see you at dinner.” A lapse of silence fell between them and Danny wondered why the man hadn’t gotten up and left yet, since there was nothing more to say. But apparently, such was not the case for Vlad. He seemed hesitant before he spoke. “You know, Daniel, I have to admit something.” He cleared his throat and clasped his hands in his lap. “I… am aware of your recent return to civilization. I read all about your return when it first happened and I do find myself… curious, I guess you could say. I wonder, because none of the reports said what happened, well, how exactly did you disappear?”

Danny felt his blood run cold. Maybe he doubted himself too early because such a question from a complete stranger definitely fell under unsettling. He licked his lips as he put pen to paper, trying to stall his response. I’m sorry, Mr. Masters, but I don’t remember anything.

The statement left a heavy, suffocating silence in the air. Danny refused to look up but he could feel Vlad’s eyes boring into him, an unspoken statement hanging between them saying, “I don’t believe you”. The ice in his veins threatened to escape and Danny pressed his palms firmly against his knees, holding his breath and willing himself to keep control. Each second felt like an hour and Danny couldn’t tell how much time passed before Vlad spoke again. “Forgive me,” he said, standing up. “That was very impolite of me. I swear, one day my curiosity will be the death of me. Dinner will be at eight o’clock. I’ll leave you to your thoughts.” The world did not move again until Vlad was gone, and his presence freed its claws from Danny’s space.

Danny went to dinner that night, if only out of obligation.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Ao3 Notes: I'm back! Thank you for your patience! That was a much needed break but now I am back and better than ever! (Hopefully lol)

Thank you so, so much for you support/continued support and I hope you have a marvelous day/night! :D

#an early start au #danny phantom #danny phantom fanfiction #danny phantom fanfic #mute!danny fenton #disabled danny fenton #danny fenton #jazz fenton #maddie fenton #jack fenton #vlad masters #claustrophobia #anxiety #anxiety attack #lost time #renegade writes

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walkeddeath · 1 year ago

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cont. from here for @walkedfire

　　there's a restlessness about her that she can't shake. something about time going by too fast but not fast enough. they want to get out, go to the festival, but they have to sit through mindless conversation first. it's boring, they want to die, and they don't hide it. it's been going on for hours and her brain is elsewhere, thinking about the fun she's missing, about the food she could be eating and the music she could be dancing to ––– and seeing him.

　　it's been too long, the same as it always is but there's something about this stretch that's been unbearable. they miss him constantly and their mind wanders to being able to finally reunite. her distraction is noted and remarked on and she shrugs, drifting off once more when the one sided conversation picks back up.

　　it takes another hour until she's finally free. they change as fast as they can, throwing on a dress they'd found specifically for the event, and almost forget their shoes in their rush. it's a quick return, and while she'd just wait to put them on there, she doesn't want to risk getting hurt. it all just has to be right tonight, go well, no bumps or hiccups. once they have the shoes on, she sprints, taking her hair down as she runs. there's a feeling of freedom boosted by the rising volume of laughter and music and life as she gets closer.

　　they're out of breath when they arrive at the center of the gathering, wading through the crowd with ease, trying to calm herself before she finds buck. breaking through the crowd, they spot him and her heart starts beating faster and faster, a warmth spreading through her chest as she gets closer. he hasn't seen her yet, which she doesn't mind. it's nice when she can surprise him, he always seems to do that part, and they sneak up silently behind him.

　　she beams at him, trying to keep some of her excitement buried, finding it an impossible task. he looks just the same as he always does, warm and inviting and beautiful, and they get lost staring at him for a moment. she never realizes just how much she misses him until this moment, like clockwork.

　　"oh now that would be a terrible thing to have happen, it would be downright dreadful. however, it's something i'm willing to risk. i happen to actually like dancing, so it really isn't a sacrifice." they take his hand and it's like she's touching the sun, the heat hits her and wraps her in its arms, and she hopes he follows suit.

　　"c'mon, lets go look around, you seem like the type to like wandering, come wander with me, yeah? maybe even dance a little, if that isn't too forward of me... whats your name again?" she can't stop beaming and it gives her away but gen doesn't care because he's back and he's holding her hand. she wants to kiss his forehead, his temple, his birthmark, nose and lips ––– all of him.

　　gen can't, not yet, and especially not in front of prying eyes. still, she pins the wants for later to tell him when they're alone.

#walkedfire #⋆ no grave can hold my body down • w. walkedfire ⋆

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yourflowersfirst · 4 months ago

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day 1,515

written 2.5 ish years ago- trigger warning (sorry)

it doesn’t normally bother me. it doesn’t normally bother anyone, if i’m being honest. many things i do bother people. i don’t eat very much, i eat too much. i overshare online. i am a sex worker. i laugh kind of ugly. i am a disorganized mess. i am constantly losing or misplacing things. i sometimes take a while to reply to messages; reply too fast other times. i don’t stick up for myself- especially when men treat me like i’m dumber than i actually am (this happens frequently). i’m pretentious and charming until you hurt me, then i cut you off with a vengeance. i’m too much and not enough all at once. i worry at my looks often; i feel unworthy of having a face.

but this one thing seems to go under your radar.

i’m not really complaining. it’s preferable. this is just an observation. sometimes it is not unnoticed, but this comes as quick glances, an awkward face, and nothing else. subject change. strictly professional.

my boyfriend (“boyfriend” used very loosely since he can’t commit to a whore like me) doesn’t even notice, and i’m around him constantly. well, he notices. he just doesn’t care, which is damn near worse. every time i sulk into the living room with new bandages on my left forearm or tops of my thighs, he hardly glances. no empathy. no questions. no, “why would you do that to yourself?” none of that. he will tell me he is going to order food, or go lay in bed if it’s late enough. i nod robotically. we are very mundane. we are simple, quiet, gentle. we are not physically intimate. any sweet words we had for each other died up and shriveled in the sun. occasionally he will cuddle me until i feel my skin crawl from overstimulation. we go on dates twice a month like clockwork, and every night in my bathroom, i run the sink faucet and cry so hard i vomit. but the rest of that is for another time. i allow this treatment. it’s what i deserve-

wait. let me backpedal. i was wrong. one person has noticed and acted in turn- my mother, of all people. i look in the mirror and occasionally see her eyes staring back at me, green and sad and overworked and used by every man she’s ever encountered. history has repeated itself in me, her oldest, her most resented. anyway, she took the old boxcutters out of my childhood bedroom, so i can’t cut myself open whenever i visit ohio. it drives me insane. i scratch at myself with my nails, but it doesn’t do much good. the endorphin and dopamine rush isn’t the same, the crimson doesn’t appear without the tool she has taken away. i love that color, as cliche as that sounds.

i was filming today and the bright studio grade lights lit me up like a christmas tree. a relatively pale one, but still. every freckle, scar, and bruise was visible on my body. the particularly angry and pink self inflicted wounds stood out. this is what got me thinking. my costar was next to me and didn’t even seem to notice. if he did, it likely filled him with disgust. the director didn’t notice, i know this. if he had, the scene would have stopped. it would never have been released. most men can’t jerk off if a model has obvious dark imperfections. i know a girl who once had to leave a porn set early because her stretch marks were too visible. distracting, the director told her. something she can’t even control and she got sent away anyways. like a leper.

but i finished the shoot today. took it like a champ. dissociated the whole time, my mind wandering to the ocean and seeing my dog again. i remember fake smiling and how badly the kitchen table was hurting me. (modeling is never comfortable.) and of course, i remember how vile my scars looked. i still have to shoot more tomorrow and the day after, and my thoughts will wander right out the window while doing it. i tell myself it’s not a problem and that my sexual trauma never resurfaces. definitely not. but. kyle wasn’t that long ago, in hindsight.

when i was a teenager, first cutting myself at age 13, i didn’t really have a motive as to why i did it. i’d never seen anyone do it before, but i gave into one intrusive thought with a kitchen knife, and suddenly i was addicted. i liked the buzz that came after. the cleanup, the care. i liked seeing physical evidence of something i had control over. starving and losing weight wasn’t quick- seeing blood gush out of me was instant gratification. whenever someone did notice my arms, i denied. denied all the way to hell. i used to have real, actual, cringey dreams that someday a boy would romantically kiss all the scars on my skin and tell me i'm beautiful anyway. but i'm not beautiful. to most people, me doing that to myself is just an annoying habit, like nail biting or snoring, if they even notice i do it. i once bled too much once and my mom had to take me to the hospital- maybe that’s why she took my boxcutters in adulthood. to prevent me from bleeding out again. it was acceptable as a 17 year old, but at 23, it would just be embarrassing, and an expensive hospital trip. my friends wouldn’t even send me a cheap dollar store “get well soon” card. they wouldn’t even notice my lack of texts in the group chat- perhaps they’d feel relief that i finally shut up.

i don’t know what the point of any of this is. i’m still going to cut myself, and no one will stop me or care, and i prefer it that way. showers will still burn sometimes and i’ll still keep nexcare bandaids in full stock in my bathroom cabinet. none of this is a complaint, i hope you know that. they’re just my thoughts. i haven’t slept much these past few days.

maybe it’s a physical release. the mental and emotional release is my writing, the shit no one reads. the rest is physical release. i am a caged animal, teeth bared, hoping you get too close so i can bite your hand clean off.

so. authors note. i wrote this a while ago, and it’s been sitting in my 50,000 word google doc ever since. i wanted to post it now. i’ll let you figure out why.

#day1515

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igot-the-juice · 8 months ago

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Serenity - Chapter 4

Masterlist

Summary - Vulgaria was a remote country, held its own beauty quite unlike others. Everything about it was peculiar. The village, the castle, the people. In the village sat a rather famed tailor shop, and the recluse that was its head seamstress unknowingly caught the eye of a notorious henchman of the barbaric Baron Bomburst. Accepting a tempting offer, what was supposed to be a simple project began to meddle with her already disorganized family, and little did she know her sanity would soon follow.

Mary woke up with a start, gasping as she shot up in her bed.

Her bed…?

Had it all just been a dream? Did she really sneak out last night? She looked around, seeing her bag lying on the floor. She remembered the majority of what happened other than a few moments that were foggy to her in her tired state. She remembered riding the horse back to the village, but nothing after that.

She felt foolish letting her guard down so easily. Especially around someone with such a reputation. He didn’t seem to wish her any harm though, he didn’t seem to have any ill intentions at all. That’s what they’d want you to think, though, isn‘t it?

Her mind continued to argue with itself endlessly as she began her normal routine. Freshen up, dress, eat breakfast, open the shop. It was nothing but clockwork. However, she didn’t fail to notice her mother moving slower than usual. And her father’s uncharacteristically careful eye on the ill woman. Another thing among many for Mary to worry about.

Once the shop opened she immediately received her first customer which happened to be possibly the most ill-mannered woman in their area, Madame Caffe. Mary made sure to make the woman’s adjustment especially hasty.

“One lev, please -“

“Yes, I know. I come here nearly every month in case you’ve forgotten.” The grouch of a woman practically slammed the money on the counter, speeding off with her skirt.

Once finished she took care of what other customers came during the morning bustle, then disappeared into the shop when she finally caught a break. She began setting out supplies she knew she already had for the catcher’s - Reuben’s - new piece. It wasn’t much, but it was better than nothing.

“Another project?” Her mother voiced with a wink, taking a seat at the center table of the shop. It was the first time she came downstairs in two days. It was very much unlike her as Mary used to always have to shoo her away from work. Mary just giggled, deciding not to pry.

“You know I can’t help myself.” The smile her mother offered would melt anyone who looked upon it.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way, liebling.” In the background her father eyed the two of them suspiciously, feeling as if they knew something he didn’t. He may have been a drunk, but he wasn’t stupid. And he intended to use that to his advantage.

“Your projects are the reason our business is going to the rats.” He grumbled as he sipped on his bourbon.

“Charles, you know as well as I that if it wasn’t for her projects we would’ve been with far less than rats.”

“Well, if she would focus more on the customers and less on her silly costumes we’d be out of this hellhole.” Mary continued working with her back to the two of them, breathing growing heavier as her tense lips downturned.

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous. If you didn’t keep spending our money on alcohol we could have already been somewhere nicer. And besides, no one ever leaves this town if not to leave the world itself one way or another.“ Her mother’s voice began to gain volume in frustration. “We’re better off than half the people in the village, at least be grateful for that. And it’s all thanks to our daughter’s silly costumes!”

Deafening silence followed. The air grew thick. Tears began to prick Mary’s eyes in fear of what was to come. Never had her mother yelled. It filled Mary with an anxiety she couldn’t control. Chaos ensued in the background, her father’s yelling catching her attention.

She whipped around to face the scene. Her mother was now on the floor, her father lunging at her once more to grab her by her bun. Tears began to steadily stream down both women’s faces, Mary frozen in place. Her mother began to cough uncontrollably, grabbing onto the cloth over her chest in search of relief.

“Stop!” Mary shouted in desperation, but it was futile. He began to scream in her mother’s face, practically pinning her to the table by her head. “Pa, stop!” Those who heard the commotion began to sneak peeks into the shop, watching as simple bystanders rather than interfering. Mary’s heart raced in fear for the frail woman whose eyes began to close. “Stop it, Pa!” Mary screamed.

Her mother’s struggle came to a complete stop, body limp. It wasn’t until then that Charles let go. His eyes grew wide, glazing over as he carefully set her on the floor. They waited. And waited. Then he felt a faint pulse. He sighed in relief, cradling her close to him.

As for Mary, she continued to panic. Her father had terrible fits, but none where he would put either of them in mortal danger. She had never felt more terrified in her entire life. Her panting soon filled the room and she flinched when her father looked up at her. Before she could decipher what his expression even was she was out of the shop, wandering off to who-knows-where.

She wiped her face with the back of her hand, but it was no use as it continued to flood. The villagers in her path leapt out of the way as she ran, getting herself as far away from the shop as possible. As a road that led outside the town became visible she slowed to a speedy walk, clutching her chest as her mother had as a last resort of comfort. As Mary neared the edge she held onto the wall for support, the intensity of it all making her feel lightheaded and weak.

She closed her eyes and paced the road to slow her breathing, using techniques her mother showed her when she was younger and the attacks were more frequent. But no matter how hard she tried it just didn’t seem to work. She took a deep breath as her heartbeat filled her ears. Her hands cupped them, ran along her forehead, clutched her dress. Anything.

But just as she felt another surge of panic begin to grow she felt a hand on her shoulder. She whisked around in a fright, jumping away from the source when she saw Reuben standing there with his face scrunched together in confusion and…worry? Behind him was the carriage.

Quickly she dried her face, sniffing as she turned it away from him in embarrassment.

“What happened?” He asked, his voice taking on a darker, yet more careful tone than usual.

When she didn’t answer he sighed, looking down the street that she came from with a squint. He then looked back over at her as she closed in on herself and rested a hand on her back, beginning to guide her over to the box seat of the carriage.

“Sit.” Reuben urged when he felt her hesitate and helped her up. He stayed on the ground and leaned against the cage to allow her some space. He made sure to glare down anyone who dared to follow her or peer over at them, sending them directly back to where they came from.

“My mother.” He looked over at Mary. She looked over at him, eyes red and beginning to swell from the crying. “He almost killed my mother.” She whispered weakly.

“Your father?” Mary nodded. Not one to sympathize, he surprised himself as he felt his blood begin to boil. How Mary was able to tolerate living with such a man was beyond him, but it wasn’t as if she had a choice.

“She, um,” She motioned to her chest area, finding her words. “She has a heart condition,” her voice cracked. “And she - she raised her voice at him and he attacked her and she just -“ She took a breath to try and calm herself. “She just went limp. But he found a pulse once he realized what had happened.” Mary looked up and around, eyes wide with worry. “I shouldn’t have run away - I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t have left her with him -“

“If you didn’t run away he would’ve done the same to you.” Reuben pressed, not wanting her to return to such a place so soon after what happened. “Don’t get ahead of yourself.” Slowly he climbed up to sit next to her and gently peeled her hands away from herself, looking her dead in the eyes. “Your mother would surely understand. She wouldn’t want you putting your life in danger.”

Mary looked away, unsure if she should believe him. Why was he even bothering to comfort her? He certainly didn’t have an obligation to. Yet at the same time, similar to the night before, she felt comfortable. Maybe that was the reason he was a child catcher. People were so easily fooled by his compassion that they failed to see he had an ulterior motive. But what motive would he have in her case? Had she offended the barons unknowingly and he was luring her in?

The possibilities were endless and there was even a chance she was worrying over nothing. He was a human being just as everyone else was, after all. One with questionable morals, but human nonetheless. He had a life outside of being the barons’ henchman and it was something that the villagers failed to acknowledge. For Mary, however, it was the only reason she was able to trust him thus far.

Or was it because someone had finally noticed her?

#child catcher #child catcher x oc #chitty chitty bang bang #chitty chitty bang bang x oc #x oc #x reader

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