#especially from friends like even if this was related to my psychosis you could just let it be

[cyb3r-mutt]

Okay so I’m originally from the uk and over there it’s a thing to always greet/wave at/salute magpies and whatever it’s something I’ve done forever and I’ll admit it turned into like a big thing for me and I will absolutely interrupt a conversation to say hello to a magpie and get super distressed if I can’t but whatever it’s fine. The thing is I live in Canada right now and people think I’m weird when I say hello to magpies and don’t believe me that it’s not just me and it’s very annoying me saying hi to birds isn’t hurting you??

[spaceumbredoggos]

However fucked up Alex reveals Bill and Ford’s relationship is revealed to be in The Book Of Bill, Kenz and Bill’s is a hundred times worse.

Disclaimer: I am not glorifying abuse in any way shape or form. I myself have had nightmares similar to this despite never being sexually abused, both Bill related and otherwise. Some of these are based on personal experience (such as the nightmares), whilst others are a device used to show how fucked up shipping Bill with pretty much anyone is. Not even the Axolotl is safe in my opinion. If Bill was real, I’d guarantee he’d probably be a massive creep and with how thirsty his fankids are (and I’m calling myself out here) he’d probably use his magic to g*oom those kids like a church pastor. The thing that scares me the most about Bill being canonically real is not that he could catastrophically end the world, it’s his oversexualization in the fandom that got so bad, Alex himself had to make him unattractive. This will be along the lines of a Yandere Bill Cipher x Reader headcanons. With that being said, here’s a few content warnings:

G*ooming, Pedoph*lia, s*xual abuse and assault, physical and psychological abuse, mind control, cult-like things, psychosis, and general paranoia. I’m not saying these things actually happened, but knowing Bill’s character and his powers and history, if he was real, I’d generally be afraid for anyone in the Gravity Falls fandom. Especially minors.

This could be my most controversial post yet, and it could jeopardize any potential of getting into some colleges. This may sound like paranoid rambling, but I know that Bill is just a cartoon character. That being said, Alex like the blur the line between our world and the world of gravity falls with Bill’s character, dicing around the fact that he’s influenced history and wrote all religion on the basis of a lie. I’m not scapegoating him as “controlling global politics on a massive scale” because that would be stupid and I’ll sound like those tin foil hat rednecks that snort moonshine and burn pride flags. My heart goes out to all those who have been impacted by all forms of abuse as an abuse survivor myself. Alex, if you see this post (or any other of my posts/ read my fanfics), just know that it’s a critique on the fandom and the canon lore, and a cautionary warning to avoid lawsuits in case The Book of Bill Cipher causes mass psychosis.

As a kid (ages 7-9) I would watch Gravity Falls casually. At that age, the only thing I consumed online content wise was Skylanders and Minecraft content (Skylanders until age nine, then it was pretty much a lot of Team Crafted, Popularmmos, DanTDM, and other Minecraft YouTubers.) I didn’t invest in the Gravity Falls fandom until I was eleven (that’s when I first started writing my fanfics. The drafts are long gone because they were on school computers that were crammed with viruses due to kids installing Minecraft mods (this was just before chromebooks became mainstream. I went to a special ed middle school specifically for autistic individuals (it was pretty ableist, gonna make a post on that.) so the rules on what was allowed in school were pretty loose content wise. It didn’t have to be educational, as long as it didn’t have blood or guns. There were no safe search filters or Go Guardian (I remember one of my friends accidentally finding Iris from Pokemon black and white vore. I also found Pacifica vore.)) Before that, the February before my tenth birthday, my dad took my TV out of my room due to behavioral issues (undiagnosed autism go brrr). Around that time, there was talk in my town that the Disney channel was “rotting kids minds” with bad attitudes and crude humor (this could be said about any child’s television network (I mean, look at Nickelodeon.) but I lived in a pretty conservative area of Southern California and had a pretty conservative dad. So naturally, Disney was the scapegoat (this was way before the “woke” era of Disney.)) All of this talk of Brainrot made me stop watching the Disney channel during the peak era of gravity falls (2015 as a whole) and I didn’t watch gravity falls again until summer of 2016 when my tv was put back in my room (with intense parental controls so that I couldn’t watch my vet shows.) That’s when I had my first gravity falls dream about Bill cipher. It had to do with getting unicorn hair to protect my house from Bill Cipher. I had an interest in dreams previously due to warrior cats. It was at that moment when Gravity Falls was added to the obsession list.

As a neurodivergent eleven year old surrounded by other neurodivergent preteens and teens, we found common ground talking about Gravity Falls at school. I also would, whenever I didn’t feel the prying eyes of the grown ups or my peers would go off outside and act out my gravity falls x pokemon x warrior cats fanfiction (I’m not sure if those are signs of maladaptive daydreaming disorder or I simply had an intense imagination that would consume my body and make me want to just act out my fanfictions outside. I don’t do this anymore, mostly because of my own embarrassment and I can just write it out.) Yes, there were times where the discussion or action played out Bill Cipher being real. A lot of my “play” as I called it back then was me being kidnapped or possessed by Bill. I even wrote some really cringey fanfics involving my friends and Bill Cipher. To this day, I still involve my family in my fanfiction, but more final drafts will have their names changed. Weirdmaggeddon was a common topic, as well as Bill Cipher possession.

As time went on, I had more dreams about Bill Cipher, fueling the obsession and the fact that Bill could be real. During my middle school years, I never had a crush on Bill Cipher, despite what my friends seem to think. My parents just took it as whatever and as long as I was happy and just working towards going to a neurotypical non-sped school. My crush on Bill Cipher didn’t start until I was in high school. I remember it specifically being Valentine’s Day 2020 when I learned that I have a crush on the triangle. My dreams of Bill would only get more frequent and worse from here (involving the typical horny teenage dream that I don’t want to elaborate because I feel weird doing so (you’ll see why later on.))

Now there’s typically nothing wrong with having a cartoon crush. Given any other cartoon character that doesn’t have a canon history of influencing this world (Bill’s history of influence is vague but it still counts) I would excuse this as another silly cartoon crush like PurpleCliffe simping for Cynthia and the like. However, given that it’s in the show’s canon that Bill could be real and he crossed over to our world, do you understand what implications this could have? Bill is trillions of years old, he’s likely seen every timeline to ever exist. Meanwhile, there are whole armies of fankids who are down bad for him (including me.)

Notice how when I first started getting into Gravity Falls that I didn’t have a crush on him. How many other fankids felt the same way? It wasn’t until years of obsessing over Gravity Falls did I develop feelings for him. And of Alex says in the Book of Bill Cipher what I think he’s going to say (that Bill probably ab*sed Ford sexually with possible g*ooming involved), notice the pattern that is being presented here? Alex, if you blur the lines between fiction and reality with a villain who may or may not have canonically g*oomed and abused someone, possibly using mind control given his powers and his role as a dream demon, could it really be so far fetched that… (I’m not going to say it because it’s leaving a sour taste in my mouth, but use your imagination.)

If we take Alex’s word that Bill has crossed over to our world, then we can only assume that there are vulnerable kids and adults being… You get the picture. I’m not explicitly saying that it is happening right now, but this is problematic because revealing that Bill ab*sed Ford in that way means that Alex would probably imply that Bill is doing the same to MINORS. I may sound paranoid and this may just be a ramble, but considering the show’s canon and how mythology is filled with cases of degenerative acts from deities, this is a really fucked up situation.

It may be funny to say “haha, evil triangle man is sexy” but at the end of the day, Alex stated that Bill has crossed over into our world. For all we know, he could be taking advantage of the fact that people thirst for him, probably not in pleasant ways.

[schizosupport]

this is going to be very long and rambly, i apologize. you can answer any, all, or no parts of it, i guess i just really need to blurt it all out to *someone*

for the past 3 or 4 years, ive been having mild (?) transient stress related psychotic symptoms. i suspect i have a cluster b pd which could possibly cover that

at first it was mostly paranoia i think ? usually the standard "theyre out to get me" type thoughts, both with people i knew and nebulous entities i couldnt define. it doesnt happen too frequently, but it seems to have gotten worse with time. this past fall / winter was especially bad bc i was already doing poorly mental health wise and was very isolated. a lot of the thoughts are still paranoia based, but some lean more towards delusions now (e.g. being afraid of the music i left to play from my phone speakers bc i felt it was hunting me down) as well as some that are fully bizarre (e.g. believing that ive been an angel stuck inside a human body my whole life, thinking theres a force field around my apartment thats keeping me stuck inside). for a while there was also this... pervasive sense of unreality almost ? like i would get frustrated that things werent operating on dream logic, or have difficulty differentiating dreams and reality in general. for the past couple months since then, ive had pretty much no issues

i always retain Some grasp on reality, whether its full on double booking or a vague sense of "something is wrong with me right now", which is enough for me to hide away from people and try to calm myself down and ground myself back to reality (... can you even do that with "real" delusions ? talk yourself out of them ?). the symptoms only last a few hours "at their peak", though the unsteady / unreality feeling may stick around for days or weeks surrounding that. im still able to be mostly functional for that part though. as such, nobody knows about any of this.

i just. i dont know. i dont have a therapist (i need one). im too afraid telling my friends will change their views on me irreparably even though they too struggle with (other) deeply stigmatized mental health issues. ive spent a lot of my childhood being called insane and incapable and i dont want it to happen again after ive finally found people that respect me. im worried ill have a full on psychotic break at some point (what the hell counts as "a break" ? can i call what ive been through "episodes" ?), or lose my ability to double book, or display symptoms in front of people i know. i just dont know what to do so im. spilling it out all here. so someone at all besides me knows

-- elias

Hey there,

Sorry it took me a while to get back to you.

It definitely sounds to me like you are experiencing some level of psychotic symtoms, and it sounds like it's causing you significant distress. You asked whether you can "talk yourself out of" a "real delusion" - and well, not as such, until the delusion passes, but they can be more or less long-lived and come with more or less insight.

The types of episode that only last a couple hours at full intensity are sometimes referred to as micropsychoses. When people talk about "a psychotic episode" it usually refers to a prolonged loss of reality that may last days, weeks or even months. But plenty of people on the schizo- and psychosis spectrum don't experience full-blown psychotic episodes. That doesn't make their psychosis un-serious, and it also isn't a given that these people will go on to develop worse psychotic symptoms.

I think one of the reasons the diagnosis of schizotypal exists, is because we needed to acknowledge that not every person's endpoint on the schizo-spectrum is schizophrenia, but that doesn't mean that their experience doesn't come with distress or disability.

I think you could try to do a vibe check with your friends to see how they react to the concept of psychosis and psychotic disorders. If they seem cool, then you could try to bring up your own experiences. It might be nice to be able to talk about those things, and get to experience that it doesn't have to be the end of the world, and not everyone will judge you for it.

I hope you all the best, anon!!

[fanficwriter284]

hey fan its your favorite annoying prick!

anyway i was wondering what illnesses everyone has. im super bad at making lore/ giving characters traits and was looking for inspo. i feel like if i give people something to relate to it would help make my content better especially if thy wisdom comes from you!

Haha hi again and oh that’s certainly and interesting ask!

Chucky-

Let’s start off with the man himself.

Chucky is far from perfect, especially from what he’s been through and dealt with in his life…

Chucky has extreme panic and anxiety attacks. Which leave him extremely vulnerable and exhausted since he often goes through various episodes when he has them. He often needs someone there to calm him down in order to ease the attack.

He has PTSD. If someone even resembles his father or does a motion similar to his dad to will make him freeze. He can’t move and he can’t speaks. He’s just there existing watching time pass. He needs someone to help pull him out of his hazed state.

He has chronic aggression and psychosis. From the events of his father and years of neglect from his biological mother he never was fully there as a child and this came into full effect when his brother died. (Thankfully this lessened when he lived with his mom and later on his Foster Father but once his mom died he ran away and these came back and hit him like a truck) When he’s having a panic attack or his sanity is flattering he hears and sees things…Mainly his father and dead brother in his head and it drives him mad.

And he’s a Sociopath…But you probably already knew that so he’s horrible at understanding emotions.

Tiffany- Self Worth Issues.

Due to the vast amount of belittlement she ensued as a child, this was bound to happen. Despite her mother being long gone she can help but pick out her flaws and fixate in them. Similar to what her mother did to her, leading to Tiffany becoming very insecure about her self and image. Luckily she has her husband…he doesn’t understand it and is horrible with emotions but he tries.

Glen and Glenda- They both just have anxiety. Nothing much. And nightmares. But that’s pretty much it.

Slappy- He wouldn’t really call it an illness and actually embraces it. He has ADHD. So he can be a handful at times and be a bit too hyperactive. Which can be a struggle for other people especially for his best friend Chuck. Since Chucks very sensitive around loud and chaotic stuff that’s besides the sound of slaughter. So Slap does his best and tries not to overwhelm Chucky. Though it can be quite a struggle for him.

Sometime he forgets to do things because he jumps around from task to task and often forgets to eat or drink. THANKFULLY his wife always makes sure he has something in his system so he doesn’t pass out.

Slappy also has extreme abandonment issues since he was dumped down a sewer drain and left to be forgotten by his father. So that left him very jumpy and on his toes, giving him extreme trust issues. He often tries to cover up his many insecurities with jokes and laughter to divert his and other peoples attention away from the matters, despite how uncomfortable or anxious he is. It’s not healthy at all, thankfully he has Anne and Chuck.

Annabelle- Social Anxiety. She doesn’t like dealing with people or being in heavily crowded areas. They over whelm her and make her feeling claustrophobic. However being with her husband always makes it easier.

Jig- Just has Sensory Processing Disorder and OCD. And he feels no physical pain and has issues understanding others and their emotions and the reasoning behind such.

Jig is overall focused on the way he presents himself if he keeps the outside clean and proper he will be okay. However if his suit gets dirty he will hyper-fixate on the stain and white until it’s gone sometimes he’ll go past the suit and onto his own skin and will keep going till he bleeds. He need someone to snap him out of it or me could go it bone.

He feels that he is someone on the outside looking in analyzing every obstacle and object in his perimeter he is very calculated and doesn’t factor human emotions into the equation. He feels no connection and just distant. The only people he care about to some degree is his family and even that connection took YEARS to develop.

His home is always clean and neat and if anything is it’s of line he will loose his mind.

Billy- Really doesn’t have an illness but…He’s horrified of himself and the wrathful nature he suppresses. He often downplays his other emotions expect the ones related happiness. He’s always smiling even when he’s not happy. This is due to the environment in which he was living in prior to meeting his family. His mother didn’t like it when he frowned so she forced a smile on his face until he could to it on his own. He was raised to be a killing machine that smiles his way through the job…nothing more.

This can often lead to anxiety attacks but don’t appear that way about he’s hides away, and smiles through the pain. And he loves marking others smile how can he do that if he isn’t smiling…..

(I hope this is good enough! 😁)

[ugh154628]

"Gaslighting involves twisting facts so they can avoid personal ownership of their behaviors."

"Twisting words is a common tactic used in gaslighting, a form of emotional abuse that involves intentionally distorting reality to manipulate someone."

"Blocking or diverting occurs when the abuser either questions your thoughts or changes the subject to avoid talking about a subject any more."

"Shifting Blame. Gaslighters frequently shift blame onto their victims as a way to avoid taking responsibility for their actions. They may twist around the confrontation from the victim to make the victim look like the bad person instead of themselves."

.

.

.

.

That insult was for you, Brandi. Since you've been a psychotic bully towards me for over a year now, I insulted you back. It had nothing to do with anyone else and especially not my friends/family.

You're the one calling them uneducated and stupid. That came out of your mouth in your post, not mine. Way to go thinking of them like that on your own, on top of making a post saying "I swear that family is a house of horrors", while also thinking you have a right to be at grandma's house and then, contradictorly using one of those family members to discredit me. You are so deluded, and you can't reasonably put that on me when that post clearly had absolutely nothing to do with the ones I am actually close to. I'll be showing them that too, although they already stated doesn't fuck with you after what you did at the 4th of July party. One them sat by the driveway ready to kick you out if you tried to show up this year actually. You got a direct message from them after last year about it to clarify who that was. Not to mention, they don't even want to see their dad, the one you most recently used to discredit me on your blog and who is currently in drug-induced psychosis, facing criminal charges and now has an OP against him after beating up his own kid for no reason last month by the way (and cant be at that house anymore because of it), but sure, go off about that random text you got from him. It just makes you look bad here. The only reason he hates me is because I regularly see his kids who don't want to see him anymore and that's no secret. He's basically delusional and mad, pointing fingers at me because I'm one of the people they still associate with while they avoid him. He's a blame shifter when he fucks up. Just like you.

And I'm also with them on their stance. I haven't talked to or seen him since earlier this year. He didn't even come to the 4th of july party and hid at the campground instead because half the family is pissed off at him right now after something else serious he did. They call him "the arsonist" now. Take that for what you will. He's not only terrible to be around, consistently treated my friend's and a lot of other people horribly since our childhood, but is also dangerous for other present reasons that really aren't your business. We tried for years to give him the benefit of the doubt and hoped he would learn to handle his substance abuse issues and get better, but he never does and we are all sick of it. You do you, but I'm good on associating with people like that, let alone paying mind to their attitude toward me or anyone else that used to be in his life. He has a lot of audacity coming at me considering his own character and position. I don't have to accept him to remain close to the rest of the people related to him either, especially if they themselves don't even want to be around him. He can and will stay far the help away from me and after what I witnessed this year, any opportunity for amends have already done been revoked long before you posted those screenshotted text messages. Not after the things he did while spiraling how he did. Not after the way he enabled one of my friend's substance addiction in particular. You can fill him in on that if you want. I could care less what he thinks.

That's the person you're using for your defense against me though. That's what you're supporting. It's so contradictory considering how many times you've falsely accused me as an abusive drug addict to discredit me, yet you're a-okay with associating yourself with people like him, and you're a hypocrite for it. You lie about other people's character and then, support people who actually do the fucked up shit you accuse me of when it's convenient for you and it's disgusting.

So, with all of that said, trust me when I say that anything he has to say to you doesn't hold any weight. He lost his mind a long time ago, you know that first hand from hanging out around him as kids, and unbenounced to you (supposedly), it's gotten extremely bad this summer to the point of no forgiveness for a lot of people. But of course, you leave that context out when you posted what you did. You also leave out the part about him doing those drugs with your dad, also giving them to my friend who has been in rehab partly due to the fact, as well as other shitty actions related to their substance abuse issues together. Maybe you really don't know what all went down, but at the same time, I find that hard to believe considering you knew stuff like this was a common theme for him for the many years you used to come around. And if he's randomly texting you of all people, I can easily assume him, your dad, or the other chick in family your dad is messing around with (who only defends you about that party because of that mind you) filled you in on the situation. I also bet you know him and your dad have been hanging out, and I know you can't be naive to why they are either. Any idiot could easily put two and two together.

I guess the apple doesn't fall from the tree when it comes to forming friendships under toxic circumstances, huh?

The way you distort reality and how far you go to twist my words is sickening, and even then, you're still terrible at it. You can stop inserting yourself into shit you have no business sticking your nose into any time now. You look stupid and nasty to anyone sober and stable in "the house of horrors" who actually matters. You're definutely not "family" to any of us anymore. You never really were. Get over yourself.

[weareuniqueandimportant]

WE FINISHED AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER SEASON 3 ONCE MORE THE OTHERS ARE UNWATCHABLE GARBAGE.

HOLD UP. I WANTED TO SAY SOME THINGS.

EVIL POLICE SERIES. "BAD PEOPLE ARE HUMAN TOO!! LET'S MAKE THEM REAL HUMAN AND APPEALING THEN DEHUMANIZE THEM AS EVIL!! MAKE THEM INTO REAL HUMAN BEINGS AND SAY THEY'RE NO DIFFERENT FROM "US" ONLY TO LOCK THEM IN PRISON FOREVER!!!!" YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO THINK OF POOR AZULA AS EVIL WHEN SHE'S HAVING PSYCHOSIS AND IS GOING CRAZY. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO THINK OF OZAI AS EVIL WHEN AANG COULD KILL HIM IF HE WANTED TO. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO FEEL NASTY SATISFACTION AS THEY'RE DEPOWERED AND ERASED. BUT THEY'RE RELATABLE. THE ASPD NPD CODING IN BOTH IS REAL. I KNOW THIS ISN'T HOW THIS REALLY WOULD LOOK LIKE. AND IF ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE WAS MY ENEMY I TOO WOULD BE FORCED INTO A CORNER AND FIGHT BACK WHILE TAKING ALL POWER TO MYSELF AS NOBODY ELSE IS ON MY SIDE. THIS IS RELATABLE BUT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE OTHERWISE.

THEY MAKE CRAZY PEOPLE INTO "BROKEN" RELATIONSHIPS AND ASSOCIATE THIS AND BEING CRAZY AS EVIL. BIGOTED EVIL. FASCISM. THE BEACH IS PEAK AVATAR. JUST LIKE MY VILLAIN ACADEMIA AND TRANSFORMERS PRIME STARSCREAM EPISODES. ALL SERIES THAT WRITE THE SAME. AANG SHOULD'VE LOST ALL HIS BENDING AND SHARED HIS SPIRIT POWERS WITH OZAI LINKING THEM TOGETHER AND FORCING THEM TO LIVE WITH EACHOTHER. ZUKO AND AZULA SHOULD BE FORCED TO LIVE WITH EACHOTHER TOO. BOTH DESERVE FORGIVENESS AND FREEDOM. ASWELL AS BACKSTORY AND HUMAN WRITING THAN THIS BULLSHIT. THEY DON'T HAVE TO BE FASCIST LIKE ZUKO. IF HE CAN CHANGE WHY CAN'T THEY?

ALSO REALISTICALLY THAT IS A BAD MOVE TO SPARE NAZIS THIS HAS DESTROYED REVOLUTIONS IN REAL LIFE. FORGIVENESS BAD. BUT THIS IS NOT THE SAME. THEY WROTE MORE THAN THIS. THEY MADE THAT POSSIBLE WITH ZUKO. THEY HAVE EARNED EQUALITY.

THE ENDING IS A CLIFFHANGER AND AZULA AND OZAI DESERVE MORE HUMAN MOMENTS. INSTEAD THEY'RE ABANDONED SINCE. NO MENTION IN KORRA. OR OF MAI AND TAI LEE IDK HOW TO TYPE IDK CHINESE.

LOSERS ALWAYS CRY WAHH THINGS SHOULD JUST END LIKE AVATAR. BUT I BELIEVE AVATAR SHOULD'VE KEPT GOING. THE JUMP TO KORRA SUCKS ASS AND SO MUCH STORY IS ABANDONED. FULL CHARACTERS. TO BE HONEST IF YOU ASKED ME I WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN READY FOR SUCH A JUMP. EVEN KORRA ABANDONS SO MANY THINGS SET UP THERE THAT HURTS. INFACT I BELIEVE THAT IS THE MAIN PROBLEM WITH KORRA. NOTHING ELSE.

AANG AND HIS FRIENDS ARE LITERALLY SUPPOSED TO REPRESENT THE POLICE. THAT'S WHAT THEY ARE IN KORRA. EVERYTHING YOU SEE IS BULLSHIT. THE ENTIRE SERIES IS A CAPITALIST NAZI LIE. THE CHARACTERS ARE NO DIFFERENT FROM NAZIS BUT ANARCHIST AND COMMUNIST DESERVE TO DIE BECAUSE THIS IS THE RELATIONSHIP COP LOVERS HAVE WITH EACHOTHER. FASCISM. ESPECIALLY WHEN CRAZY PEOPLE SUFFER.

RADICAL PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS TOO FAR WAHH. WE'RE NOTHING BUT A SIDE DISH TO DITCH BOTH SERIES ARE OBSESSED WITH NAZIS AND ANYONE TRYING TO KILL THEM AS THE TRUE MONSTER. BUT OPPRESSED PEOPLE ALWAYS HAVE THE BAD ENDINGS. JET DIES EVIL GRANDMA GOES TO PRISON. COMMUNIST KILLS HIMSELF AND ZAHEER GOES TO PRISON TOO WHILE HIS TEAM DIE MEANWHILE NAZI KUVIRA AND NAZI ZUKO GET REDEEMED AND NO PRISON.

THEY'RE BOTH STILL NAZIS AFTER THEIR REDEMPTIONS. BOTH STILL LIKE ALL "GOOD" CHARACTERS BLAME CRAZY PEOPLE FOR ALL PROBLEMS AND PUNCH THEM WHILE DEFENDING THE STATUS QUO. THE ONE THAT IS THAT OF THIS SOCIETY'S. THAN THE MADE UP FANTASY "THIS WORLD IS OWNED BY NAZIS!!" THOUGH THAT'S TRUE AND THE MAIN CHARACTERS ARE NAZIS TOO. BECAUSE THEY ARE THEY GET ALONG AND NEED TO KILL ALL OPPRESSED RADICAL PEOPLE. WE'RE TOO FAR BECAUSE WE'RE A THREAT. TO THEIR FASCISM.

[felinedetached]

Fandom Ableism in the MCYT Community

[Edited 14 June 2021]

One thing I’ve noticed about the MCYT (Dream SMP, specifically) community on both Tumblr and Twitter is that when informed of things that are ableist, or harmful to ND people, a lot of people ignore the post/tweet, derail it or actively fight against it.

“I’m ND so I can’t be ableist” is a common statement, which is blatantly untrue. Even I’ve used ableist terms and phrases before, without realising they were harmful. So as a neurodivergent person, with autism, BPD, depression/anxiety, dyslexia, psychosis & brain damage*: here’s some common ableist things both CCs and fandom say almost constantly**.

*note that not every neurodivergent person will agree with me on these, but these are commonly ableist things people have previously talked about online, and/or have been discussed between me and other neurodivergent friends. No minority can ever speak for the entire group.

**note that a lot of these are common outside the MCYT community as well, and that some of these are just considered societally acceptable. This isn’t okay, but it explains why a lot of people don’t recognise jokes or comments like these are wrong, and it means that it’s not a direct moral failing of people that they don’t immediately or directly recognise these comments as wrong.

Now, let’s get into the things you might not have realised are potentially ableist:

1. Use of “Psychopath/Psycho/Sociopath/Schizo” and other demeaning terms for people with mental illnesses as insults, or to describe characters who are considered villainous. Psychopath/Psycho/Sociopath are already terms that people with ASPD dislike using, even not as an insult, but using these terms to describe people or characters who you disagree with or see as villainous only contributes to the villainisation of people with ASPD and other mental illnesses. Using c!Dream as an example: Dream as a character is not confirmed to have any of these mental illnesses. He is, however, commonly labeled as psychotic/psychopathic, incapable of any kind of compassion.

He is also a character that fandom largely insists that nobody is allowed to sympathise with. This is a huge issue, and has hurt a lot of people, especially people with low empathy, or mental illnesses that cause them to relate to some of c!Dream’s actions (e.g. pulling away from all his friends, desperately grasping at straws to gain control of situations etc). Insisting that these characters are characters it’s impossible to sympathise with, all while calling them psychotic/psychopathic/sociopathic, is extremely harmful, and I hope this post draws attention to that.

Here’s another post that talks about that.

2. Use of the term “freak”, in general. As an insult, “freak” has been typically used to insult neurodivergent people, people with visible physical disabilities (ex. “freakshow”, and the term was reportedly created with the intent of insulting people with physical disabilities), or people who display any kind of abnormal/atypical social behaviour/physical aspects — people who are usually ND people who lack a diagnosis or people with physical disabilities. Recent usage has come to mean “people who do things that hurt other people”, but this is harmful as well; using words like “freak” or “weirdo” which mean “socially atypical behaviour” to refer to people who are actually doing things that hurt other people conflates the two, and often has a side effect of hurting disabled people who see it.

3. Calling ND ccs like Technoblade monotone/emotionless. While the term “monotone” isn’t ableist in and of itself, the fact that it’s being used against a neurodivergent man who emotes in a different way to neurotypical people rubs a lot of ND people the wrong way. I’ve partially discussed this here, in a tweet responding to a person who said that c!Technoblade, quote, “has no human capabilities like emotion for example”. This, however, is not something contained to c!Technoblade — one of the most common jokes in this fandom is how rare it is to hear emotion in Technoblade’s voice.

The issue with that is that neurodivergent people almost universally agree that Technoblade emotes perfectly fine, and, in fact, emotes more freely and clearly than a lot of others do. Hence, calling him monotone perpetuates the idea of ND people as emotionless/less able to be hurt/less expressive, which often hurts us. It also contributes to the dehumanisation of ND people — related to how ND symptoms are most often seen in robots or monsters in shows — and is generally extremely harmful, on top of being untrue.

4. Related to point 3: the infantilisation of ND ccs like Tubbo and Dream, usually paired with assigning “caretakers” of their friends, like Tommy and George. This is about the posts that spread like “omg, Tommy helps Tubbo with his dyslexia, that’s so cute” or��“omg George is so patient with Dream, I could never sit through that” on videos of Dream vocally stimming because of his ADHD. This is another post that talks about this, but I wanted to talk more about why this is harmful here.

4a) With Tubbo’s dyslexia, from someone with dyslexia, it isn’t harmful to correct his spelling and move on. Personally, I think this is helpful — others will think it’s condescending, because not all ND people are the same — but as the above linked post mentions, this is not what Tubbo’s twitch chat does. This is not what the comments say. It’s all things about how it’s “so cute” that Tubbo can’t spell, how Tommy/Ranboo are “so patient” with correcting him. This is rooted in the need to constantly watch over ND people while acting like we can't live our lives without someone having us under constant vigilance. It feels like savior-complex ableism, like people are trying so hard to not be ableist that they spin back around to hurting us instead. And it feels like we are being treated like children. Like we are lesser than, and need to be monitored/watched over.

4b) Similarly to what people do with Tubbo, the comments on posts about Dream’s vocal stimming are often full of people calling George “patient” for “dealing with it”, or claiming they “wouldn’t be able to handle it”. This is inherently ableist. They’re praising George for basic human decency towards ND people, and claiming in the same breath that they wouldn’t be able to do that themselves. And then there’s these.

These comments infantilise Dream — claiming he “wouldn’t be able to stop/calm down” without George’s help, implying he’d “spiral out of control” or claiming “everyone is now my child”. It’s all related to the infantilisation of ND people, and the belief that without help/a caretaker we cannot take care of ourselves.

5. The way people treat ccs who likely have undiagnosed neurodivergencies, like Wilbur. Wilbur has openly admitted on stream before that his parents considered getting him an autism diagnosis. He also openly admits on stream that he has habits he doesn’t understand why he does, and hyperfixates on things for months at a time and doesn’t know why. Posts like this have gone around Tumblr, in which Wilbur displays blatantly ND traits.

And fandom generally calls him weird for expressing those traits. This video where he talks about eating sand because he likes the texture? That’s an ND trait. This video where he talks about his irrational hatred for anteaters? While mostly a joke, irrational hatred of something when you can’t explain/understand/articulate why is also a common ND trait. He spends 20 minutes during a Philza stream info-dumping about self-sustaining ecosystems (sharing the photo, because I think it’s really cool) and fandom begins calling them “Wilbur’s weird jars”. It’s demeaning to people who infodump, and as a ND person who hyperfixates and infodumps it’s really upsetting to see. It’s also upsetting to see other ND traits being called “weird” or “freaky” & made out to be soley some funny joke for NT people to laugh at us about.

Additionally: It’s strange to me that people think it’s okay to make fun of ND traits just because they know that or perceive that the person they’re making fun of is NT. It’s still making fun of ND traits. It’s still insulting ND people. It’s still ableist as hell. Why is it okay just because the person is NT?

6. Implying that c!Ranboo’s enderwalking is inherently violent. Ranboo has shown us time and time again that the enderwalk state isn’t a violent state. That the enderwalk state isn’t a seperate version of c!Ranboo that does horrific things. Why, then, is it so common to imply that Ranboo would be violent and hurt people why he’s enderwalking?

It comes back to the perception of c!Ranboo as a character with “two halves”, or as a character with DID. Ranboo has made it clear that his character does not have DID, but this headcanon about his character persists, and it persists in a way that is directly harmful to people with DID — and to people who dissociate or sleepwalk. We do not commit horrific acts while we dissociate, while we’re sleepwalking, because the majority of the time we’re just checked out, our body is on autopilot. Insinuating that we do is harmful. Insinuating that Ranboo has “another half” that’s inherently violent or evil is harmful to people with DID. I’m not going to ask you to stop writing these headcanons etc, but please consider the effect you have on people before you do.

7. Related to point 6: the perception of c!Ranboo as “soft” and “cute” and/or perfectly moral because of his canonical anxiety. This is really harmful, and comes once again from the infantilisation of disorders like anxiety and depression. Ranboo has made clear time and time again that his character isn’t moral, and in fact is extremely inconsistent. He’s portrayed his character as inconsistent, as someone who hurts his friends unintentionally and often due to his want to please everyone, and yet he’s constantly seen as “soft/pure/the only moral one” because of his anxiety causing to have repeated and consistent spirals on-screen. These spirals are not healthy. They don’t indicate his “perfect morals” or make him more moral than anyone else on the SMP. Please stop infantilising people with anxiety, it’s really hurtful.

8. Implying that c!Technoblade is inherently a violent person because of his voices. I’ll admit here: my hallucinations are visual. I do not get auditory hallucinations, and I cannot speak for people who do. But many people have spoken out about this, and discussed how talking about Technoblade as an inherently violent character because of his voices is harmful, and a stereotype of people with schizophrenia.

Technoblade’s character is, in and of itself, inherently a stereotype (despite the fact that his chat are more likely to be a supernatural entity than a symptom of a disorder such as schizophrenia) in that the idea of “hearing voices that encourage violence” is a stereotype of people with schizophrenia. As an actual symptom, is a very uncommon one. More common auditory hallucinations for people with schizophrenia or psychosis are, reportedly, whispers or unrelated conversation. One of my friends hears screaming.

But the issue is with the implication that c!Technoblade is “driven to violence” by the voices. Canonically, he has dealt with the “bloodlust” of chat by grinding withers. He’s perfectly capable of being peaceful, even with “voices pushing for violence”, and he’s perfectly capable of being violent without the “voices” influence. It’s the connotations and the history that fandom has in demonising and villainising c!Technoblade for even having the “voices” in the first place, and acting having them makes him inherently violent and unstable. There’s precedent for that already in society, and it’s not okay to perpetuate it.

[Edit: as of 22/05/2021, I do experience auditory hallucinations, and I can confirm that I am not any more violent, and the voices I hear don’t push me to violence. The clearest one just said ‘click’ in my ear.]

9. Jokes about brain damage and the use of “brainrot” as a term. I made a post about how common jokes about brain damage are here, and I would like to reiterate bits of it.

Jokes like these are really really normalized in modern society. I’m sure a lot of you didn’t even register it as wrong, and that isn’t a moral failing! It’s a norm in society, and that means the majority of people arent going to register it as something hurtful, because it’s said so often. But it does still hurt. The idea of using a disability as an insult is really harmful and it feels dehumanizing, like our disability makes us lesser, something that should be laughed at.

“Brainrot” as a term originated in Skyrim, as a disease that literally rotted your brain. However, as a term, it has very similar connotations to “brain damaged” and has been used in similarly joking and insulting ways. It’s something that feels really off to me and other neurodivergent people to see used by neurotypical people. It even sometimes feels uncomfortable when used by neurodivergent people, even if it’s used in positive ways. I know quite a few people who have removed it from their vocab completely because of the connotations, and I have personally done the same. Once again, I am just asking you to please consider your words before you use them.

10. Calling c!Wilbur during his Pogtopia Arc “Vilbur”. Yes, he was a villain. Yes, he hurt people. But c!Wilbur during the Pogtopia Arc only has one major difference from c!Wilbur during the L’Manburg Arc: a visible depiction of mental illness, specifically paranoia and psychosis. Treating him as a seperate person and calling that seperate person “Vilbur” comes across as extremely hurtful, and contributes to the villainisation of mentally ill people. His mental illness does not excuse him from hurting people, but calling c!Wilbur “Vilbur” upsets a lot of us, because wether or not it’s intended, it feels reductive, hurtful, and insulting.

If you got to the end of this post, thank you so much for reading. I hope that this helped you recognise things that you might not have known were ableist, and that you consider what I’ve said here. I also know that I haven’t addressed everything ableist that’s spread through the MCYT fandom community, so if you’re ND and have something you’d like to add, please feel free.

[dragynkeep]

Everyone's problematic fave is Josh and look I get he's mentally ill and went through such a tragedy but his prank on his friends was so much worse than what they did to Hannah. Maybe more people see him as sympathetic or relatable or want to have their own revenge fantasy but none of the kids deserved being terrorized and feel like they would die. Especially Sam and Chris who would had nothing to do with the prank.

I do feel bad for Josh but he's not a uwu soft bean not when he meticulously planned out how he would traumatize mostly 3 of his friends and 2 of them has zero involvement and the 3rd just stood by and laughed. Still shitty and mean but Ash had the least involvement of them all.

I also just remembered while watching some play through but Mike does apologize to Hannah when he sees it went too far. I mean too little too late but he was remorseful.

i never got the idea of josh being a soft uwu bean that’s so heavily perpetuated in the fandom because while the events of the game are happening while he’s having a pretty intense psychotic break like ... he wasn’t even that nice or friendly before the game by the other characters retellings of him. even in the opening he’s passed out drunk & beth responds in frustration, telling how this is a common occurrence for him which is understandable because it’s a form of self medication mixed with just being a regular teen who wants to get drunk with his friend.

i know it’s a trend for mentally ill characters to either be in the wholly demonized evil psycho catagory or the uwu soft mentally ill baby bean & while i’m glad that josh isn’t in the former despite his psychosis in the game like ... that doesn’t make him being wholly put into latter any better! he did a lot of terrible things & while his motives were understandable, they were nowhere near justified & he had the mens rea to make him culpable for guilt for a fair portion of the “pranks.” he was literally able to make all these intense, intricate plans on how best to terrorize his friends from what he knows personally terrifies them.

& when you bring into it that sam & chris had absolutely nothing to do with the prank yet really seem to almost suffer the worst from josh’s pranks, it not only speaks to just how cruel josh can be but how much his logical center of thinking in his brain has warped from the psychosis, from the lack of medication, from the mismanaging of his mental illness. i really wish we could find a middle ground between “josh is a deranged psycho & deserved the ending he got” or “josh is a poor sad traumatized bean & that makes his actions justifiable” because no. neither of these are right, they’re both the same forms of ableism just in different coatings & neither help people who relate to josh through their own mental illness.

people with psychosis, with psychotic disorders & those who’ve suffered psychotic breaks, like i have with my own disorder, we don’t need to be babied or demonized. we need to realize when we’ve taken a step too far & when our own center of logic is so warped & deformed that we need time to reset that because we’re hurting the wrong people, we’re hurting people.

revenge fantasies are carthartic in fiction but that doesn’t mean they should be emulated or congratulated, especially for the mentally ill because often times, you might end up going for the wrong person. josh did in the game & still somehow gets catagorized as a poor bean. it’s so weird.

[msookyspooky]

maybe later on we could have a better look into billy's psychosis?

i would never survive this cause my psychosis makes me so paranoid sometimes i cannot leave my house. if someone so much as hinted anyone as the killer it would be game over, i can't sleep, i think everything is poisoned and im convinced im always being followed. i can recognise when it's a delusion normally but that doesn't make it any less real. if you tell someone with psychosis that there hallucinations/delusions are not real it's very bad, it's like if someone told you that the sky doesn't exist.

a thing with my psychosis that i would like to think billy experiences is forgetting. i don't want him to be in distress but i would quite like some representation because i want to relate to him more. if someone has hurt me or made me upset sometimes i will just forget. i will associate them with pain but i won't remember what they have done, it really sucks. i most likely remember after a while though. it just feels invalidating and i think that i did something. sometimes i have an episode or really bad anger and my coping is pretty self destructive.

if you don't think it's right for his character or this didn't make sense then ignore me. i hope you are doing well, i love your writing. <3

Sorry, I've had such a busy week! Grandpa in the hospital with pneumonia, driving 30 min away twice a day everyday to take care of his pets, family friend has uterine cancer and my mom is driving her to her surgery and were both helping her out at home this week and weirdly enough my great uncle had been battling cancer for 5 years (Terminal. He's on his death bed basically. He only weighs 95 lbs now.) and has medical psychosis now.

His body has been through so much that one day his mind just snapped for lack of a better word. He walked in the hospital fine and completely his regular self before a surgery and then within an hour of waiting he started screaming and thrashing that he was in a bus and kids were going to get ran over. It scared my aunt to death bc he wasn't my uncle in that moment and none of us have ever seen him like that before. He's home and doing much better. He knows who you are has complete clarity but he is absolutely terrified now of my aunt leaving his side 💔 He got so angry and scared when she left and one of us watched him in her place (He can't hardly walk) but yet that day he made all these appointments and paid bills before my aunt even got up and made a ton of phone calls he just doesn't want her to ever leave...Ik I shouldn't laugh but I gotta find something to laugh about in this situation and he was talking to us calm as can be on the phone and just casually mentioned. "Yeah, ya know she has me in a box underground, right? These fucking abortion nurses are stealing fetuses and they got me locked in a god damn box bc they couldn't steal mine."

...We just rolled with it but omfg I'm glad we know he has psychosis rn bc I can't imagine a stranger calling me and telling me that 🥴☠️ I just have to laugh and so did my aunt bc she's so defeated and tired seeing him like that and taking care of him that we have to find some humor in this especially since he's not scared about it just not connecting certain dots and he only gets scared when she leaves for groceries or anything like that bc that's when the paranoia sets in. And it's just disheartening to see him in this mental state sometimes

I know that psychosis is different in everyone and medical psychosis might not be the same as the psychosis you're dealing with and that there's varying levels and that most psychosis especially medical or stress can go away within time and on proper medication. Now, idk much about psychosis brought on by having other psychological disorders or if there are forms of psychosis that never goes away?? I'm more than eager to learn from your perspective bc I definitely hc Billy is my story as having psychosis similar to his future daughter Sam but he just won't admit it and that maybe it's lessened since his Mom's death or gotten worse; either way. Maybe both? Bc now I could see his paranoia heightening from cops, betrayal, etc.

Sadly tho, this story is from YN POV

I fully understand wanting to relate to him but I feel like that can be hard to do bc from not only who I've known irl with psychosis and what I'm trying to educate myself on is everyone's symptoms and degrees of the symptoms are different. Plus, it's hard to do with YN being the POV and the only canon mental issues she has is PTSD, Anxiety and probably High Functioning Depression from what she's went through (Of course anyone is free to add in their own to personalize the experience while reading) and people thought she had psychosis from Billy and Stu purposely trying to make her doubt herself as well as others doubt her in Windsor. So, that makes it hard to show Billy's POV in detail.

I'm sure tho later on a short story will come along the way and I really appreciate you taking the time to tell me your experience with psychosis so I can add it into Billy's character. 🖤🖤🖤

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

hello, i'm trying to seek advice and validation for these stuff

tw : destructive hallucinations, death

i've been having these flashes of "thoughts", they appeared at random times and obviously i couldn't control them. i know they weren't real but....they FELT real

i've seen my parents having a car crash and died, this happened when i was waiting for them to come home from work. then one day i saw myself having a crash while driving my motorcycle, the worst one was when i woke up and the world's ending (meteors crashing to earth, volcanoes erupting, earthquakes)

it didn't last long because it's just flashes but still it appears a lot of times, it feels like watching a movie and then it paused when i snapped back to reality, when the stress got too overwhelming it continues and i just had a breakdown from that

and then there are these "voices" too, i've tried to made some peace with them but they always refused. they're annoying as hell cause what they're told me were very harmful and self destructive, like i don't deserve to live when i had a decent normal day, or everything i did is wrong, or my happiness is a burden to my family, that i just ruining everything. heck even my headspace friends (not alters tho, more like imaginary friends) got pissed off too because of them!

i've been searching on google (i'm pretty much banned from going to my psychologist cause my parents knew and they just told me to pray much more, typical sea parents smh) on what these stuff are and i'm still not sure, i feel like it's only ptsd but with hearing voices? is it psychosis?

btw prob those voices would be mad at me after i send this ask lol, dw i can handle them even tho yeah it's exhausting. i feel like maybe if i'm able to understand what this is i'll feel much better

thank you for reading 💖

Hey anon,

First of all I'm sorry to hear you're dealing with these things. That sounds unnecessarily challenging and frustrating.

The first thing you mentioned about "flashes" actually strongly resonates with another ask I answered. I will reiterate that "Intrusive thoughts in and of themselves can be considered a type of OCD, and harmful intrusive thoughts can be further classified as Harm OCD. This type of OCD is very common in those with PTSD, depression, and anxiety." But of course this experience is comorbid with other disorders, such as schizophrenia, OSDD, or other disorders that involve voices.

Also I just want to say that, like you may discover in the hyperlink to the other anon, you're not alone and I can especially relate to those apocalyptic flashes around bedtime. Those are the worst, they get you right when your defenses are down, and I'm sorry you experience that too. I've found that it's comforting to consider the extremely rare odds of something like that happening.

As we are volunteers and not professionals we unfortunately can't give you a diagnosis of any kind, but your experiences are valid no matter what condition may be causing them.

Hope I could help point you in a clearer direction, and we're here for you if you need anything.

-Bun

[absentmotive]

SCREAM 5 REVIEW

deep breath i’ll do my best to keep from posting about spoilers but if i feel like i can’t avoid, i’ll put it under a read more and THAT will be your ONLY WARNING not to read to avoid spoilers.

alright so i’ve been pumped and excited for scream 5 since they announced it was happening. over all impression of the movie was...it was good. it def’ kept you on the edge of your seat, constantly revising your “who done it” suspect list, but it just, it lacked something. maybe it’s because i got my hopes up for SOMEONE to come back because it would have made much more sense than what actually happened. and since i know myself, the rest is going under a read more ‘cause i need to talk about it lol

normally i don’t vibe with canon characters getting random kids, but given how billy was very much sex / touched starved, it did not surprise me that sam was his kid. so i wasn’t too concerned with it and i do love that they showed how psychosis can be hereditary but can be treated.

my biggest gripe is richie and amber ( amber annoyed the fuck outta me to begin with like...i was waiting for her to get sliced and diced. ) i had somewhat high hopes in that they wouldn’t recycle the whole “it’s the boyfriend” or “best friend” trope, but they did. and the biggest thing that rips my nips is the motive these two dumbshits had to revive ghostface after a decade even though it does show that fans / fandoms can be fuckin’ weird and people can take things too far.

but the whole “we’re making our own movie ‘cause the last one sucked” thing is just...c’mon. scream 4 was barely hanging on by a thread ( if you know me, you know i don’t like emma roberts and her being in the film killed it for me to begin with, but the jealous cousin / family member wanting fame was boring. ) but the whole stab 8 being shit...okay who the fuck cares about a fake movie within the actual film?! like i don’t care if they kept making stab films as time went on. we already know hollywood likes to recycle *stares at camera* plots, characters, themes, etc. we didn’t need a half hour to listen to two wannabes explain their weak ass motive.

you know what would have been better and made way more sense? FUCKIN’ STU MACHER COMING BACK because the biggest horror movie thing didn’t happen; we didn’t get a confirmed kill nor saw the body. there is SO MUCH they could have done with stu coming back and being the killer.

it’s no secret that billy was popular while alive and he certainly gained more interest when he died. but what about stu? stu is hardly ever mentioned other than “billy and his friend” whenever someone speaks about the murders so it would have made perfect fuckin’ sense if precious stu came back, went after everyone ( don’t ask me why he’d go after his own nephew other than the fact of not knowing who vince was / could have been ) that was related to an original victim / survivor to get sidney’s attention and remind her that she didn’t shoot him in the head like she did with billy as she should have done ‘cause come on...that tv had a 50/50 chance of doing the job.

also, going back to amber freeman, yOU’RE GONNA LOOK ME IN THE EYE AND TELL ME A LITERAL CHILD KILLED A GROWN ASS FUCKIN’ MAN?! it was some fuckin’ horseshit in how dewey died and i just don’t fuckin’ accept it. not one goddamn bit. she literally double fisted stabbed this man and somehow managed to fillet him. like our man died in vain and fOR WHAT?! JACKSHIT THAT’S WHAT.

so in closing, the only upside to this whole thing was that i got to see my boy billy / skeet once more on the big screen. even if he was a hallucination for his daughter sam. and sidney has aged like fine wine and we stan a queen. also randy would have been very proud of his niece and nephew, Mindy and Chad, especially Mindy as she’s basically randy’s mini me.

[slugtranslation-hypmic]

same anon as the headcanons one! maybe some “this is something I think would be nice but has nothing to do with canon” and “this has absolutely no relation to canon and doesn’t make sense within the Hypmic universe but I have fun thinking about it anyway" ones? 👀👀

I swear, I have tons of them, but the moment someone asks... Poof, they’re all gone.

Put under a cut because I suddenly got embarrassed and also wrote way too much again.

This is something I think would be nice but has nothing to do with canon

I feel like Hifumi and Doppo enjoy gossiping with one another. Doppo probably denies it, but he’s actually really invested when it includes someone he knows. Considering how persistent Hifumi is in asking Jakurai about Ramuda, I have a feeling they spend a lot of time speculating about what went down with TDD. Hifumi probably suggests really wild ideas like, “Ramuda is secretly an alien!” and consequently has probably hit upon the truth at this point.

I think Hitoya wants his team to be better than Matenrou so he can show Jakurai who’s boss. Juushi, being Juushi, supports Hitoya in this 100% and tries his hardest. Kuukou, being Kuukou, just wants an excuse to throw down at the slightest provocation, so he’s really enthusiastic about it too.

This is so far out of left-field, but for some reason, I imagine Sasara’s apartment smells like cigarette smoke.

I am convinced - and will be unless canon says otherwise - that Hitoya was Jakurai’s gay awakening circa eighth grade or thereabouts. There is nothing anyone can do to change my mind. The only way Evil Line Records can possibly invalidate this if they explicitly say, “No, Jakurai’s gay awakening was [insert a different scenario here]” but will they ever do so? Nah. (Note the “explicitly” because a few of the mangakas appear to have much to implicitly say on this subject.)

I think Hifumi probably didn’t do very well in school.

I think Saburou is probably a little bit jealous of how easily Jirou gets along with people.

I think Gentarou’s editors must actually all hate him because he handwrites his manuscripts.

This has absolutely no relation to canon and doesn’t make sense within the Hypmic universe but I have fun thinking about it anyway

Okay, I was really thinking of one thing when I wrote this, and I guess it’s a little bit personal but oh well. I have an AU where everything is the same but everyone in Fling Posse has psychosis of some kind.

This is probably not going to make sense to most people, but there’s a special feeling you find in a psychotic community you don’t find anywhere else. A lot of people with psychosis who are aware that they have psychosis feel a need to hide it for lots and lots of reasons - shame, concern of being judged, fear of losing their job or loved ones if their illness is discovered, etc. Psychosis is also really embarrassing. You don’t want to be doing what you’re doing, you’re often aware that what you’re doing or what you’re thinking is irrational, but you have no control over it anyway. Even around very close non-psychotic friends, I feel ashamed whenever I exhibit too irrational behavior. They’re all used to it, and I know they don’t particularly care (outside of concern for my well-being), but I resent the fact that I can’t act the way they do at all times.

However, when you’re within a psychotic community, there’s none of that. Everyone in the group has the understanding that at some point, everyone’s going to be off the shits, and that’s okay. We’ve literally all been there. Even though psychosis manifests differently in different people, large enough groups make it so that everyone can find someone else who understands them and has been through a similar experience. This is everything. I cannot stress enough how important this is. Psychosis is by nature alienating because it gives you a different reality than everyone else around you. Having someone else say, “My reality is similar to your reality” and offer genuine understanding and empathy means the world. Psychotic communities also tend to be more understanding of trauma (because psychosis itself is traumatic and can manifest in absolutely horrifying ways that the average person will fortunately never experience. Additionally, psychosis can manifest because of trauma, and people with psychosis tend to be preyed on more because we’re often more emotionally vulnerable. So we’ve all been there) and can have free discussions about it without feeling the need to shelter others from it. You can also discuss very real problems that are utterly foreign to the rest of the world, like the issue of falling in love with a hallucination and dealing with the grief of its passing. It’s freeing. It’s freeing and accepting on an unreal level. I’m a member of a community for people with schizophrenia which is somehow the kindest, most well-behaved community of people I’ve ever met. The rest of the Internet could learn a thing or two from that.

I think Fling Posse has that same general feeling, especially post-DRB Fling Posse. They all have the understanding that they have shit going on, really serious shit, and they’re accepting of one another even though their serious shit may not be the same as anyone else’s. They have all seen each other blow up and act weirdly, but their concern is less about “Whoah, you’re being weird” and more “Hey, you’re not feeling well. Let’s get you away from other people and take care of you.” (I’m thinking in particular of the Gentarou and Dice bit in Chapter 10 of FP/M, although there are other examples of this elsewhere.)

I’d like to write a fanfic about this someday, although it’s probably just going to devolve into shameful amounts of projecting. Oh well. I think it’s important to talk about these things anyway, even if they do necessitate shameful amounts of projection. There needs to be a lot less “shame” in the statement of, “My life is different than yours, and I want you to be able to understand it.”

If anyone out there reading this has psychosis or one of the many disorders that manifests with this particular symptom, know that you are important and that I love you.

[scarlet--wiccan]

(1/?) The MCU is going on a specific direction and might touch Wanda's history of mental illness. Maybe talk about that when you have the time? Wanda was going on a nice direction before all that happened.

Whew! Sorry it’s taken me so long to answer this— I have several super-long message chains like this one in my inbox and they’re hard to parse through and harder still to write a real answer for. I’m gonna try through a couple of these today.

Well, I think you hit all the important points here-- the optics of a mixed-raced family of first- and second- gen Holocaust survivors committing mass acts of terrorism, becoming rulers of a fascist, supremacist regime, and then, finally, committing pseudo-genocide, are, you know, not great. These are complicated characters whose representation can easily swing in either really positive or really, really negative directions, but this goes beyond the pale for me, especially given the proximity to 9/11.

The portrayal of Wanda's mental illness during this time, while not wholly unsympathetic, is wildly inaccurate and generally played as a horror motif. I'm not an expert on schizophrenia, but I think we can all agree that it's high time we moved past exploiting sick and disabled people's experiences for cheap scares. It's especially frustrating because Wanda, as a character, does have ground for poignant stories about mental illness-- she's had numerous traumatic experiences, starting with generational trauma and a lifetime of violent discrimination, and ending, at that point, with the deaths of her young children and the abrupt dissolution of her marriage. Her mental health should be addressed, but not in a way that demonizes illness or characterizes sick people as villains. One thing I appreciate about Robinson's Scarlet Witch is that it represents her mental illness in a very human, matter of fact manner and gives her the power to take control of her own wellness. She has realistic symptoms and pursues realistic treatments, instead of, you know, making hallucination constructs and getting mind-probed by Charles fucking Xavier.

Wanda is simultaneously infantilized and vilified in these stories-- she's denied agency at every turn, and yet, Wolverine and the other "heroes" of this saga view her with unbridled contempt, and most of them are immediately ready to murder her in the name of justice, even before the "no more mutants" spell was cast. You wondered how Bendis was able to inspire such a long lasting hatred of Wanda, and I think the simple answer is that almost every character in House of M hates Wanda. The characters you root for, the characters whose perspectives dictate the tone of the story, direct palpable fury towards her, and even those who aren't out for her blood don't extend any actual empathy towards her-- most are ambivalent to her wellbeing, while Xavier and Strange are incredibly paternalistic.

The final spell, "no more mutants", has baffled me for years. You're spot-on in saying that Wanda here represents a self-hating minority, but it's really hard for me to understand how she could have reached that point. It's not consistent with her previous characterization, nor is it thematically connected to the factors which led to her breakdown. Bendis places the onus of her condition on Erik, alleging that he abandoned and abused his children in his fanatic commitment to the mutant cause, which, besides being a willful misinterpretation of canon, has nothing to do with Wanda's current circumstance-- she's like this because Agatha Harkness altered her memories, because the Avengers continuously gaslit her, and becaue Mephisto killed her kids in the first place. It has nothing to do with Magneto, and Wanda's breakdown has nothing to do with mutant politics. She and Pietro were raised in a loving family until their adoptive parents were killed by racists. Erik didn't knowingly abandon them, and while he did mistreat them during the Brotherhood days, it wasn't parental abuse because he wasn't a father figure to them-- neither party had any idea they were related. Bendis is evoking specific forms of trauma that never actually happened, while ignoring the ones that did, and the effects of the spell itself are vague and seemingly random.

~~~~~

Young Avengers does call back to Wanda's circumstances in Disassembled and HoM, but it doesn't execute the concept of reality-warping in the same way. The driving force in YA is the spell which Billy casts, and Loki tampers with, in the first issue. It is a spell which distorts reality, but it has specific parameters, and neither party is characterized as "crazy" the way Wanda was. The spell was intended to bend space and time so that Billy could pull Teddy's mom from the past, before she was killed, into the present-- it's not dissimilar from how Wanda "retroactively reincarnated" her kids. Due to Loki's interference, however, the spell was hijacked by an interdimensional parasite called Mother. The Mother virus appears primarily as a construct of Teddy's mom, but as her influence over the Earth-616 dimension grows, she's able to create constructs of other dead parents, and even mind-control living adults. All of the ways in which reality is being warped hinge on the specific conditions under which Mother was summoned, and while it is Billy's magic that's fueling these constructs and distortions, they aren't symptoms of psychosis-- Billy doesn't lose control of his magic because he's losing his mind, he loses control because he's too young and inexperienced to protect himself from predatory forces. Those forces do take advantage of his depression and anxiety, but his condition is never the cause.

Loki's magic is wrapped up in the spell, too, but rather than conjuring dead parents, it emerges as a construct of their former best friend, Leah. Loki, in Young Avengers, is a mashup of two personae-- the reincarnated child Loki, and Ikol, a phantom of their past life who is carrying out the previous Loki's evil will even though their heart isn't in it. Ikol has mostly overshadowed Loki, who has been reduced to a ghost that torments Ikol by acting as a constant reminder of their guilt. Ikol is haunted by their past, but it's important that this haunting is a nuanced metaphor and not literal hallucination, as Wanda's condition was in HoM. Because Loki's power is part of the spell, Kid Loki's ghost is able to hijack the reality distortions to summon the construct of Leah, who, in turn, is able to summon the Young Avengers' other exes, the same way that Mother, in the form of Teddy's dead mom, can summon other dead parents.

Loki does raise the question of whether or not Billy might be subconsciously influencing Teddy with his powers, but this is clearly illustrated as a manipulation tactic and disproven several times. Loki's original goal in summoning Mother was to draw out Billy's full magical potential so that they could steal his power for themselves. Driving a wedge between Billy and Teddy, and causing Billy to question his own sanity, were devices to make Billy more susceptible to having his power stolen, and they worked-- Billy is not able to divest his magic from the spell and banish Mother from Earth-616 until he overcomes his self-doubt and start exercising mindfulness. Loki, in turn, is not able to divest their power from the spell and banish Leah and the other exes until they own up to their guilt and admit everything they've done. Both characters are experiencing symptoms of exacerbated mental illness-- Billy's depression and suicidal ideation, Loki's disassociation-- but their mental illness is not the source of their magic, but a challenge which makes it harder for them to live as their fully realized selves... just as it would be for any normal person.

I know that was a long-winded explanation, but I wanted to illustrate what sets Gillen's take on "reality warping" apart from Bendis's. It's based on clearly though-out ideas of how magic works and what defines "reality" in a world populated by parallel universes and living myth-forms. Gillen affords Loki and Billy a degree of sympathy without denying them agency, and Loki is held accountable for their decisions without being painted as a total monster. Bendis, meanwhile, characterizes Wanda's magic as delusion made real, and completely vilifies her for her illness in spite of the fact that she's given no control over her actions.

[katsidhe]

7.02 final thoughts? (Idk if this one has been requested yet)

7.02 Final Thoughts

*rubs hands* Ah, yes, the episode that got me into SPN. I could talk forever about season 7. 

Fun drinking game: take a shot every time someone makes a different colorful idiom about Sam being insane. Hint: you’ll die, because I counted 25.

(I WONDER WHY Sam didn’t want to tell Bobby or Dean about his active symptoms of psychosis. Truly, a mystery for the ages.)

Even setting Hallucifer aside, this episode highlights so many of the things I high-key LOVE about season 7: the erosion of Sam and Dean’s support network (as tenuous as that already was)—take away Bobby’s house, take away angelic healing, take away the Impala, make them vulnerable and alone and crumbling under the weight of the trauma they’ve accumulated. The broken leg, Sam’s head injury and seizure in the ambulance? Strapped down, badly injured, the fates of their friends uncertain, headed into the belly of the beast? ICONIC. Over the top. Amazing.

It’s a similar kinda thing to Jody’s predicament—sure, she’s capable enough ordinarily, but if you give her surgery and drug her and leave her alone in a hospital with a liver-eating monster on the prowl, the stakes look a lot different, don’t they? I’ve seen this episode approximately one gazillion times but every time I get tense for her.

Quick thoughts on the Leviathans, which have a reputation as an underwhelming SPN villain. Perhaps because of how unsubtle and half-baked they are as metaphor for corporate greed/capitalistic consumption, perhaps because of how their promise of truly terrifying Old Ones, Cthulu-esque devourers, never quite came true (except for a bit in 7.01 and 7.02, yikes!). But honestly I’ve always liked them—I like how their organization and assimilation of knowledge drives the Winchesters deeper underground than even the Apocalypse did; I like how they made the Winchesters’ entire world into something mundanely unsafe and miserable; I like how they showcase the horror of a enemy composed of lockstep drones, the way that Heaven (and Hell, sometimes) tries to be, but never truly manages; I like Dick Roman’s gleeful ravenousness; I like their spooky mouths; hell, I even like the Dick jokes. 

Bobby’s solicitousness towards Dean, and how awkwardly he talks to Sam a little later in the episode, is very emblematic of how bone-deep uncomfortable he is around an honest-to-God mental illness, and, well, around Sam’s issues in general. Which doesn’t make him a bad person, or unsupportive, necessarily. But it’s very evident that he’s got no clue what to say to Sam or how to handle him, that he’s leagues more comfortable dealing with Dean’s problems (as has often been the case regardless of Sam’s mental health).

A related, but separate point: the lengths the show goes to to emphasize “look, Dean’s not okay,” while Sam’s in the middle of a psychotic break… It baffles me a little every time I see this episode, when Bobby walks away from Sam all “yyyyeah I gotta go do some work” and then is immediately all “ok but Dean, how are YOU feeling?” It’d be one thing if Dean weren’t emotionally demonstrative, and if Sam were—if Sam, at this point in the episode, was so obviously struggling to such a painful degree that Bobby wants to make sure Dean’s not overlooking his own reactions. But that’s not really the case. Apart from some flinching, Sam’s been very matter-of-fact about the whole thing so far.

This is our first deep-dive into Sam post-Cage, a full season about he returned. And I love it to pieces, you guys. I love how these inescapable, soul-deep consequences are the inevitable answer to the moral of Sam’s story, where he interred himself with his worst nightmare, forever.

Dean after Hell is clawing for moral high ground. Dean focuses on this bleak kind of virtue, this idea of martyrdom and righteous struggle that eventually unspools and reveals itself to be fundamentally unmoored. He needs some kind of redemption for himself after what he was forced to do in Hell; he needs to own his destiny, and he needs that destiny to be meaningful and good, and he channels his violence outward in that cause.  

Sam does not take any kind of high ground. He hurts... himself. He gnaws inward. No illusions about how “messed up” he is—he sidelines himself before Dean or Bobby can say a single word; he figures he needs to be on top of it, needs to get out ahead of the danger he could represent and reassure his family that he knows he’s a hazard. Sam has learned to repress and downplay and hide his traumas and his freakishness both to avoid feeling stigmatized and to avoid being a burden on the people he loves, especially on his brother. So when Dean reacts with fear (understandable) and anger (less so), Sam takes it in stride.

Hallucifer is probably my favorite thing this show has ever done. I could probably write another thousand words on Hallucifer alone—on how Sam’s using this face for coping, for compartmentalizing; both to hurt himself and to keep himself company, to sort through his pain and arrive at a place where it’s at all tenable for him to exist. 

Sam’s skepticism about professional mental health treatment—his idea that this is a problem he can handle himself, that a doctor would "just stuff [him] full of pills”—is clearly one born of the family mold. This is his dismissive response to Hallucifer!Dean’s accusation that Sam won’t be able to cut it on his own. This denial, this idea that Sam knows he needs to get a handle on this, and therefore that he MUST do it himself, make a science of it, is fascinating. 

On the subject of denial: Hallucifer poses a simple question to Sam: are you sure you got out? And Sam’s NOT sure. Faith that he’s free is yet another maybe-lie that Sam must tell himself with maniacal intensity this season, for the sake of his own sanity, to avoid the voice in his head telling him to shoot himself. 

That Scene in the warehouse. Dean’s advice to Sam is to trust in Dean as the cornerstone of his reality. Asks him to build his whole world on his trust in Dean. What choice does Sam have? Who else can Sam rely on? What else can he do? There is no one else, nothing else. There’s only Dean, or Lucifer. It’s a dichotomy. It’s so CHILLING.

Especially in the context of what we know comes next—7.03, where Dean lies to Sam’s face, murders Amy, and uses Sam’s ~insanity~ to defuse Sam’s (justified) anger. And then, season 8, and 9, and 10, and, y’know what, the entire show. 

Sam drives his thumb into his bleeding hand, and it’s SPN in a nutshell—forever choosing the claustrophobia of the path of slightly less resistance, forever clinging to the misery of a life that’s only just this side of bearable, burying yourself in the toxic fallout because the alternative is unimaginably nightmarish—using the trappings of free will, of defiance, to choose to claw holes in yourself so that someone else won’t. There is no escape.

Dean’s threat of murder-suicide on the phone is so clearly meant to be sympathetic. And yes, on a certain level it absolutely is; and then on another level, it’s, y’know, MURDER-suicide, where Dean’s taking explicit responsibility for and ownership of Sam’s life, even though Sam’s pretty clearly lucid. Dean’s assuming as a matter of course his ability and right to make that decision for Sam. How Dean views and deals with Sam’s instability in season 7 lays major groundwork for Dean’s willingness to let in Gadreel in 9.01.

[hopelessromanticsociopath]

Hi guys! I wanted to discuss why i personally am having a hard time recovering from my eating disorder and maybe someone can help or relate or make me feel better for a moments notice? I developed an eating disorder back in april 2020. It was over quarentine and i was eating whatever i wanted and it was very noticeable. I also worked at a pizza place and they gave me a free meal every time i worked a shift, which I definitely took advantage of and made myself my favorite pizza almost every time i came in. I weighed around 145-150. I was also about to experience one of the darkest times of my life. I remember I bought size 25 jeans and they didnt zip up at all and my mom was like oh okay that’s fine you can just return them and get another size, let me measure you to see what size urban says you would be. So she measured my waists and my hips and she said, you would be a size 28. And i was in complete shock. I used to be a skinny mini all my life because i never ate meat and ate like the same 3 foods. It at first began with me doing walks around my neighborhood and making myself healthy meals. I would make like stir fry and salads and sautee myself chicken. It was the healthy path to go down, but it didn’t give me the results i wanted. Back in middle school i had suffered from bulimia. I didn’t like that path. It made my heart race and it put a bad taste in my mouth. I wondered what would happen if i just stopped eating so much all together. It wasn’t until around July, when i realized i had just about nothing left. Most guys i used to be friends with hated me, my best friend was never in town, i had no friends, i worked at a job every single day that i fucking hated. I looked at who i had become and i fucking hated it so much. It wasn’t until i reached that point and suffered extreme psychosis and convinced myself i was the ugliest and most horrible person on this planet and i would go days without eating. I would lock myself in my room in the dark and shut out the world. My life got better, somehow. Like a month later, school started. It was online but it still got me back in touch with people. I started talking to my old guy friends again. I actually started having friends again. I had a lot of friends actually. I started dating a really sweet guy and i confided in him what was going on in my head because i trusted him a lot and he knew i dealt with one before. He said he would make sure i was eating and he cared about me and didn’t want me to die or anything. You would think that me being happy and loved would make me accept myself and not feel the need to starve myself, but it was quite the opposite. If anything, i needed to prove that i was enough for him. I would go numerous days without eating. I actually noticed a change. My waist had gotten much thinner. Halloween came. I dressed up as a cheetah. I didn’t eat for 5 days until halloween came. I didn’t want to look bad. I was around 120-125 ish i think. And spontaneously he broke up with me. It shouldn’t matter that much to a normal person. Any normal person would’ve just got over it. But as someone who also has bpd, I absolutely lost it. I didn’t eat for a few days then got back in the routine of eating once or twice a day. This is where the feeling I’m talking about comes from. It made me feel sick to eat, wrong almost. I was so angry and upset that it happened and that it ended on such a horrible note and now we weren’t even friends that i took it all out on myself. I promised myself that the next time i saw him i would be the skinniest I’ve ever been. I just more than anything else wanted to be his friend again. Nothing more, i just wanted to feel worthy of his time like i once had. Eventually we become friends again. He tries to get with my friend and i was drunk so i slapped him. Duh. Then i felt bad so i apologized and i kissed him on the cheek then i went to sleep. I woke up and was blocked on everything. He hated me once again. I felt horrible. I went on a drinking bender, and was drunk for 3 days. It was a very dark and anxiety inducing time of my life.

This time, he was actually gone for good. He was gone forever. And he still is gone, but it got worse for me. After that happened I didn’t eat for about 2 weeks. I got to 107 pounds. I also ran every day. I used to hate my running but recently, whenever i run my mind just goes blank. I black out too often. I don’t know what i did when i blacked out but i know it put me in some horrible positiondI just think about how I don’t deserve to eat. Some people with eating disorders highlight how much they don’t like calories and eating because their fear is being fat. I do think like that. Still, if i eat now i freak out and think I’m obsese and just can’t look in the mirror, but most of all, I don’t believe i deserve meals. I’ve recently been put on a partial hospitalization thing. I don’t eat at the hospital because its not an eating disorder recovery hospital, it’s for my anxiety. My parents don’t know about my eating disorder. Its not “bad enough” even though i lost large amounts of weight. I’m still not as skinny as those little tumblr girls and it makes me angry. Having an eating disorder mindset is so depressing. When I’m starving all i want to do is eat. But in the back of my mind, my brain is cussing myself out and counting the calorie of every meal and snack and drink. My brain doesn’t want me to recover, it wants me to die. And i want to get better. I really really want to, but it would be for nothing. Then I wouldn’t have my body as something i like about myself anymore. I would have no control over anything in my life. I would be a boring and normal, sad teenage girl. And that’s boring. I refuse to be boring.

I highly doubt anyone read this whole thing. If you did you deserve a serious high five. I’m just angry i guess. Angry with life, angry the way things are, angry that i lose everyone good i ever meet, angry that I’m alone right now, angry at circumstances. It’s unfair. I will never find my happiness, especially not with my mind right now.

I don’t think I deserve meals. I am not a good person. Every calorie i eat my brain screams at me that I’m fat and ugly and no one could ever love someone as ugly and horrible as me. It makes life so difficult. I reached my goal weight. Why isn’t that enough? Why can’t that be enough for me? Why do I have to be stick thin? I just want someone to notice me and ask if I’m okay.

[crimeronan]

that last post i reblogged made me reminisce about the times i actually Have become the subject of ppls ire and it’s kind of. amazing. putting under a read more so as not to subject people to Wank but. if u wanna know what 8 years of blogging has wrought on “i enjoy things in non-mainstream ways” Maximum Aggro and “i’ve had several posts about autism and psychosis go viral” Extreme Difficulty

here are things ive gotten several anon hate and the occasional dedicated ongoing hateblogging campaign over

“diagnosing” characters with autism

a whole bunch of other autism-related stuff that is Unfortunately not fun so i will not detail it

shipping the raven cycle ot6

“wanting ronan and blue to have sex,” notable especially because the blogger who mounted the campaign somehow didnt notice id written at least 5 posts about ronan and blue as platonic metamours & talked at length about how ronans gay & specifically stated, repeatedly, that its important to me that their relationship is platonic and nonsexual

posting a humorous contextless snippet of an RP btwn me n my partner where ronan asserted that being monogamous would be miserable

(because it was part of my malicious campaign to oppress monogamous people and invalidate their relationships)

saying adam and ronan aren’t inherently made for each other and had to work for their relationship

saying gansey is actually capable of having healthy relationships and that i even think he has some in the actual canon text

saying gansey is a good friend

(you will think this is facetious but this was honest to god an intense point of controversy and hatemail. the context is people were already mad about [pick anything on this list] and padded their manifestos with my gansey positivity)

(but it’s So funny to imagine a horde of people just blacking out in red-misted rage upon seeing the words “gansey good”..... a concept that causes enough wrath to fuel death threats violence bait and graphic content submissions...... let’s please imagine that’s what happened)

having polyamorous homestuck ships

especially ones where m/m couples were still together and just as committed and passionate and in love..... but also dating a woman too

saying zuko can be interpreted as autistic

problematic because it’s impossible for autism and trauma-related emotional issues to exist in one person

(the joke is i was writing abt him bein me. an autistic person with trauma feelings)

(this isn’t even the autism stuff that was Unfun this is amazing autism stuff)

writing about psychotic characters who have a fairly adjusted humorous grip on reality

bc it delegitimized the Seriousness of Psychosis

and could Reinforce The Delusions Of Actual Psychotic People

especially notable due to me tagging the posts in question with “i’m psychotic”

because. they were humorous posts about how i’d like to see my day-to-day life represented. because i’m an actual psychotic people

im sure other things have happened im forgetting but these are the biggest highlights that come to mind

(not included: things that only got me sent one hate message from a clear troll. too many of those to try to remember)

then the things i EXPECT to be attacked for (enjoying fictional violence, writing messy unhealthy relationships, prioritizing platonic mlm/wlw relationships over canon gays, wanting my faves to commit murder, etc) have like..... yet to cause an issue for me

(this is not an invitation to cause an issue for me.)