#especially as he is the one to initially not accept buffy breaking up with him !

[spikedru]

Not being judgmental at all but lovers walk is your comfort episode? I get it for the spike parts but the Xander Willow Cordelia Oz break up stuff is so…. Unless you like those parts, to each their own! (I just really can’t stand Cordy getting hurt at the end :(

i think its very funny that spike inadvertently destroys four different relationships without even trying to all the while acting like this reductress headline

[nileqt87]

How I’d write a Buffy/Angel spinoff!

I still say the best spinoff they could possibly ever make would be all the Chosen Slayers getting deactivated, then Buffy and a Shanshu'd Angel (IMO, this plot really would only work with Angel, because it actually matches his story arc, not Spike's, to want a human life and fatherhood) have a daughter who grows up not knowing the truth about her parents (and half-brother!) until it's forced to come out.

I would particularly note that the first thing that happens to newly-called Slayers is their prophetic dreams. If ever there was a way to start breaking secrets to this new heroine that also serves as flashback exposition featuring the old shows, this seems custom-built for it. It’s exposition for the audience that never saw the old shows as well as an introduction to a key Slayer ability, but most importantly, it’s personal family revelations that go far deeper than historical flashbacks of unrelated persons or monsters that mean nothing personal. These would be scandalous secrets for a baby Slayer, given Buffy was the rule-breaking Slayer who is most famous for having romantic relationships with the very creatures she’s supposed to slay. Angelus would be the worst family secret of all! This story has all the makings of an existential crisis before acceptance. That would also be a good place to drop in Connor’s history. Buffy never actually got to react to that bombshell either, so that would be an interesting drama with her, as well. Buffy and Angel both tended to feature heavily in prophetic dreams, so it also just feels right to continue that.

If there's some reason why David Boreanaz (who, let's face it, is really not getting younger and SEAL Team can't go on forever) can't or is unwilling to appear, one could have an explanation that Wolfram & Hart has had him trapped in a holding dimension for years as punishment.

You could even build an arc around that with Buffy or the daughter trying to find him. Basically, a kind way of explaining Angel's absence if necessary and Buffy unfortunately having to mirror her single mother (which was a fear of hers), despite it being no fault of Angel's. It would be yet more cruelty for him to miss out on yet another child growing up, which would be a dramatic plot point itself. It could actually become a story where he does matter quite a lot, despite initial absence or mystery.

An even bigger shock than mom having Slayer superpowers and a world full of supernatural forces would be a reveal that dad is a 394+-year-old (depends on if you count hell--in a modern-day spinoff, Angel is rapidly approaching 400 years!) ex-vampire.

The most interesting and fitting story you could ever do with a maturing Buffy would be having her be a mother and trying to have a normal life.

This would also give Sarah Michelle Gellar a starring role that allows her to be age-appropriate, yet also having a younger generation that the original audience can still care about because she isn't completely divorced from the two previous shows in the way that an unrelated Slayer spinoff would be. It allows the core storylines of *both* shows to truly matter, far more than a Buffy Steele-Gunn offspring would.

---

Just a a few notes about my pitch for a continuation that works with the real ages of actors and their availability... I should also note that Xander (played by Nick, anyway--Kelly might work for a flashback) is a character who could never appear in live-action again, so maybe he could be used as another event that contributed to Buffy's retirement besides pregnancy.

If the Shanshu and conception were directly post-NFA, any offspring would be 16 years old right now. IMO, if there were any plans to give SMG a series with her in a major supporting role, this just means that the space for how long between NFA and the Shanshu or how long Bangel got to be with each other widens for however many years it would take to revive the franchise.

I strongly believe that the best option for the franchise would be a back-to-the-suburbs story exploring age-appropriate Buffy facing motherhood, rather than trying to turn Buffy into a war general surrounded by nothing but subordinates (horribly alienating future for her) with a lack of equals or a grounded setting à la the season 8 comics. If you want to introduce the Buffyverse to a new audience whom you can't expect to watch 24-year-old shows until they're interested enough by the revival, you're going to have to ground characters in a relatable reality.

As for how a new Slayer would be called after deactivation, I firmly believe the line is through Faith now anyway, so it would just take her dying for a minute à la Prophecy Girl for a new Slayer to be called. I would definitely want Faith in the show!

--- Facebook discussion

I feel like SMG's concern was less wanting to reprise the role entirely, but more concern that she'd be expected to play the same exact role in her 40s. This is giving her a role that fits a woman (and a mother in real life) who is in her 40s and is a major supporting role rather than he young lead whose story is being centered on.

As for the Angel situation, SMG might actually be more willing to return if she could beg DB to come back for perhaps an initially-limited role and the scenario is one I believe she'd actually support, as it fits with her preferences!

While it might seem that Buffy as a single mother retreads the original, Angel is obviously nothing like the Hank situation (not to mention Joyce and Hank being completely clueless), so the circumstances of the father would be quite different from Buffy's own situation, while also feeding into her own stated fears about her future.

This also brings up all the conversations in Bad Eggs, The Prom and the Chosen cookie dough analogy (children are mentioned again) to the forefront. Unlike with the other options, it was something that came up repeatedly. Admittedly, it was always by Angel due to his infertility and the human life he most desired; all of which ended up being an important part of *his* story.

However, a part of Bad Eggs that is woefully underrated is that Buffy was disappointed when Angel told her vampires can't have children. She immediately covers it up with a babble speech and then starts making excuses for why Slayers are unlikely to have that kind of future. Young Buffy did not disregard it because she didn't want children ever at all, but because the person whom she saw that future with was someone who couldn't have them.

Enter Nikki Wood, where Buffy learns that at least one Slayer was definitely a mother, which she was clearly surprised by.

That's another reason why I can see Buffy, if she got her hopes up with post-Shanshu Angel and conceived, would do anything to be a good mom by not being all about "the mission". She would never want her child to be raised without parents. And I think she'd be doubly sensitive to that, not just because of Nikki, but because of Hank leaving and Joyce dying.

Buffy also became surrogate mother to Dawn, who was made out of her (in a sense, she is her real mother), so Angel's situation with Connor actually had a direct mirror in Buffy's situation with Dawn.

But those conversations were also not just about wished-for children that couldn't be conceived, but also asking Buffy to think about what she wants for her future if she took out the belief that Slayers don't live long enough to have one.

This show would be the answer to what happens to a Slayer when she does live long enough to have the future she barely wanted to get her hopes up for before.

Buffy (ditto Angel) is the character for which this story actually has a ton of setup in the shows themselves. These characters talked about it! And the circumstances are really nothing like Joyce and Hank, even if the initial setup plays into both Buffy and Angel's worst nightmare scenarios about parenthood: being a single mother and not getting to raise the miracle child you thought you'd never have. That kind of bittersweet writing that shirks too-good-to-be-true wish-fulfillment is a cornerstone of what makes it a Buffyverse storyline. If the daughter's family lied to her about their history to keep her safe and protect her from knowing what goes bump in the night (making them the polar opposites of Hank and Joyce in regards to knowing all too well--especially Angel's experience of being the worst thing you could bump into at night, rather than utterly clueless), that would certainly be a conflict. Especially if she found out in a particularly shocking way (say, prophetic dreams). And if Angel (I'd like to imagine he has the company of ghost!Wesley and maybe Illyria and Spike) has been taken for punishment by Wolfram & Hart, it might really confuse her if she doesn't know that he didn't just leave or some other excuse Buffy covered it up with. Wolfram & Hart would also probably love the irony of Angel getting what he most desires (to be human and a father), only to punish him with it by wasting his remaining years separated from all that he loves.

[rosedavid]

TJ giving cyrus his bb Jersey to wear bc it's a tradition before they are dating

thank you!!

“I don’t know what to do!” TJ groans, flopping backwards onto his bed. 

“What you need to do is calm down,” Buffy advises. 

“I can’t calm down! Think of all the things that could go wrong!”

“Think of all the things that could go right.”

It’s the day before TJ’s championship basketball game. Most of the players on the team would be stressing about the game right now, worried about being defeated. For TJ, however, his mind focuses on something much more important. Something that could potentially make or break how well he does at the game as well as his entire life.

“You know Cyrus is absolutely smitten for you, right?” Buffy asks in confirmation. 

TJ shakes his head, staring up at the dotted ceiling above him. “I know he likes me as a friend. I don’t know if he likes me as more than that! And giving him my basketball jersey to wear is the ultimate sign of dating.”

“I don’t know about that.”

“It’s true! Trust me, everyone knows that, especially Cyrus. What if I try to give it to him, and he doesn’t want to wear it? What if he gets freaked out? What if--?” 

“What if,” Buffy continues, “he accepts it, and you get a boyfriend?”

“That’s the dream.”

Ever since TJ apologized to Buffy, the two have been closer than ever, especially after a night of admittance from TJ. He was a complete wreck, freaking out over his internalized homophobia and his crush on Cyrus. Buffy coached him through it, helping him come to terms with himself. Now, they’re crush buddies. 

“I’m not going to force you into doing anything, but I really think that you should give him the sweatshirt,” Buffy urges with a smile. “Just think about it.”

“Okay, I’ll think about it. But until then, can we talk about something else? Maybe a certain boy named Martholomew?”

“First of all, that is not his name! Second, we are not going to talk about that!”

TJ just laughs.

…

TJ can’t sleep that night, too stressed over what to do. He chickened out yesterday in giving Cyrus the sweatshirt, so now he only has during school to give it to him before the game. 

He imagines what Cyrus would look like in his basketball sweatshirt. It would be way too big for him, that’s for certain. The sleeves would probably completely engulf his arms and hands. It would also be too long on him, constantly slipping. The baby blue color would definitely compliment his deep brown eyes and dark hair. Thinking of Cyrus wearing TJ’s number and name on his back makes TJ blush like mad. 

The next morning, his mother calls for him to hurry downstairs because he’s about to be late. Meanwhile, TJ stands upstairs staring at his basketball hoodie hanging in his closet. All he has to do is grab it. That’s it. Just grab it.

“Hurry up, TJ!” His mom shouts again. 

Heart pounding, TJ snatches the sweatshirt in one fluid motion and stuffs it into his backpack. He isn’t confident that he’ll work up the nerve to actually give it to Cyrus, but at least he has it with him now. With that, he heads downstairs, mom ushering him out the door in a rush. As he walks, the added weight from his sweatshirt in his backpack feels heavier than ever. 

When he makes it to school, he wants to both avoid and find Cyrus at the same time. He doesn’t have to debate what to do for very long, though, as he spots Cyrus laughing with his friends down the hall. He radiates happiness, smile lighting up the entire hallway. He’s wearing a t-shirt with a silly pun on it. But what if he was wearing the sweatshirt instead? 

Before he can change his mind, TJ begins walking toward him, mouth opening to call out before the boy leaves. However, the shrill ring of the bell interrupts his plan. Kids start swarming around him, trying to make it to class in time. By the time TJ is able to maneuver his way past the initial crowd, Cyrus has disappeared. 

Is it a sign that he shouldn’t give Cyrus the sweatshirt? TJ unzips his backpack halfway, looking at the bundled up piece of fabric at the bottom. No matter how terrified he is, TJ knows in his heart that he needs to do this, not only for himself but also for Cyrus.

Unfortunately, TJ doesn’t share any classes with Cyrus before lunch. He’ll have to wait for a few hours until he can give the boy the sweatshirt. And who knows how many times TJ will lose his courage and change his mind during that time before lunch. 

In class, he can’t think of anything except Cyrus. His teacher asks him to read a paragraph out loud, and he almost says Cyrus’s name instead of the name in the reading. 

TJ doesn't know if Cyrus is smitten with him, but he’s certain that he’s completely smitten for Cyrus. 

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, the bell for lunch rings. TJ hurries out of his seat, hoping to catch Cyrus before he meets up with his friends (because TJ does not want to embarrass himself in front of more people than he has to). Luckily, TJ knows exactly where Cyrus’s last class gets out from since he meets him there sometimes. He practically sprints there, dodging students from every side. 

Perfect timing. Cyrus is just walking out of his class chatting with a random student. TJ jogs up to him, slightly out of breath. Cyrus looks up at him in surprise. The other student sends them a knowing smile before waving goodbye to Cyrus. 

“What’s up Teej?” Cyrus asks.

“Hey Underdog, I, uh...I have something for you.”

“Something for me?” 

TJ gulps, shifting his backpack onto one shoulder. He unzips it partway, staring at the sweatshirt momentarily. All he can hear is his heart thudding against his ribcage and his thoughts running wild. 

“TJ? Are you alright?” Cyrus wonders in concern. 

He takes in a deep breath, gripping the sweatshirt and pulling it out of his backpack before he can stop himself. Cyrus cocks his head. 

“H-here!” TJ stammers, practically shoving it into his chest. 

Cyrus frowns, unbundling the fabric and holding it out in front of him. He inspects it curiously. With every second he doesn’t speak, TJ gets more and more anxious. 

“Your basketball sweatshirt?” 

“Yeah, I mean, I have my big game today, y’know, and I was hoping you’d come and wear it, if you want.”

Then, Cyrus smiles, clutching the sweatshirt to his chest. TJ sighs with relief, heart pounding for a different reason now. 

“I’d love to,” Cyrus whispers. 

TJ smiles back at him shyly. The hallway has cleared out at that point for lunch. They’re all alone. Cyrus takes a step closer, then TJ. Suddenly, Cyrus tugs the sweatshirt on over his shirt, nearly getting lost in the excess fabric. He manages to pop his head through the top, though, arms fitting into the sleeves. TJ can’t help but giggle. 

“What? Does it look dumb?” Cyrus asks self-consciously. 

TJ shakes his head. “No! Not at all! It...it actually looks really cute.”

Cyrus blushes, a large contrast in color to the light blue sweatshirt now adorning him. Feeling bold, TJ stretches his hand out to pull the sweater sleeves up to Cyrus’s wrist. Their fingers brush, causing him to inhale sharply. 

“Want to go to The Spoon after your game to celebrate?” Cyrus questions. 

TJ cracks a smile. “What if we lose?”

“You won’t. I believe in you,” Cyrus stares up at him, then clears his throat. “The team, I mean. You and the team.”

“Well, I can’t lose now that I have my good luck charm wearing my number,” TJ comments, surprised at himself for being so flirty.

“So is that a yes to the date?”

This time, it’s TJ’s turn to blush. He’s going on a date with Cyrus Goodman! He beams, taking Cyrus’s hand in his own. 

“It’s a definite yes.”

[stephadoodles]

Jonah’s anxiety story line: An analysis

Like many people, I was initially drawn to Andi Mack because I heard about Disney Channel having its first openly gay character and I was very intrigued. Needless to say, the show won me over for about a million different reasons, with Cyrus’ story line obviously being a part of that. However, I was also extremely impressed by Jonah’s anxiety story line. While it’s definitely not perfect, it is very good, and it’s needed. Mental illness is being somewhat more normalized and portrayed in media, but there’s still a lot of work to be done.

I’ve been wracking my brain trying to think of other shows or movies that portray someone’s journey through having panic attacks and anxiety, and the only other one I can think of is One Day at a Time, which has also focused on a number of other mental illnesses as well, which is fantastic. However, while ODAAT is considered a family show, it’s not a kid show, and I would understand why some parents may not let their younger kids watch it, as there is some more adult content in it. Which is fine. But that’s also why Andi Mack is so important. It discusses these difficult topics in a way that is appropriate for kids of all ages. So, I decided to do an analysis of Jonah’s story line, because of how important it was. 

Full disclosure: a lot of this is going to be based heavily on my own experiences. When I was thirteen, the same age as Jonah, I started having panic attacks. My journey was a lot different, and large part of that was because of the lack of knowledge surrounding mental illness. There was no representation of mental illness in any media, especially nothing for kids. That’s why what Andi Mack has done is so impressive and important.

(I apologize if any of the pictures are blurry or hard to read. Also, I wrote a good chunk of this while I was sick and had ingested a good deal of cold medicine, so if anything doesn’t make sense, that’s probably why).

To begin: Jonah at the beginning of the show (aka all of season one). He was the popular kid; cool, confident, friendly, outgoing, unironically using weird slang, and always had a giant smile plastered on his face. There are a few small signs in season one that hint at his anxiety, but they don’t become clear until later after we see more of him and some patterns begin to emerge.

First panic attack

The first time in season two that we really see anything regarding his anxiety is when he starts to worry that he’s losing Andi to Walker. A pretty common thing for a teenager to worry about, but then he ends up having his first full-blown panic attack.

The direction in this scene is interesting; they seem to be attempting to show that he’s dissociating, which is pretty difficult to show through a camera. And dissociation can appear in different ways to different people. However, it’s a good way to let the audience know that something is seriously wrong.

TJ finds him and runs to get help. Jonah’s pretty lucky that he had his first panic attack at a place where there are at least four therapists on hand. But it’s good, because we get a really great scene with Cyrus’ dad as a result.

One thing that Andi Mack does that is really good is that they explicitly state right off the bat what it is that’s going on with Jonah. Mr. Goodman clearly explains that he’s had a panic attack and that it’s a normal thing that a lot of people go through. From my own personal experience, I had just about every adult in my life either not believe me or dismiss what was happening to me as something I just had to deal with. This is important that they show the adults (including Bowie later on) and the kids (also later) believing Jonah and attempting to help him right away.

Unfortunately, Jonah doesn’t accept the help offered, and decides to just deal with it on his own.

Second Panic Attack

Then he has his second panic attack, and he runs into Bowie at the Red Rooster. Bowie can clearly tell something’s up, and he gets Jonah to calm down through having him focus on playing guitar. Then he presses Jonah on the issue again.

Again, having the adults acknowledge what he’s going through is important. Once again, the idea of Jonah going to therapy is brought up, but Jonah pushes it aside. He latches onto guitar playing, since it was able to calm him down. The guitar becomes a way for Jonah to ground himself, which is an important technique that is very helpful when having a panic attack. However, it’s not a be-all-end-all solution, and Jonah can hardly whip out a guitar every time he starts getting stressed or has another attack.

Telling Buffy and Cyrus

The third scene that really addresses his anxiety is during the pancake breakfast. From the get-go, it’s pretty clear that he’s stressed because of lack of helpers. When Buffy and Cyrus show up, they’ve got their own conflict going on that interferes with them being able to work productively and help Jonah. He starts to panic and becomes afraid that he’s going to have another attack.

The conversation they have about his anxiety is short, but it hits on a lot of important things.

Anxiety about anxiety: one of the fun things about having panic attacks is that worrying about having another one is pretty common. I know from personal experience it is pretty easy to get yourself worked up enough worrying about having a panic attack that you…end up having a panic attack as a result. It’s great!

Buffy reassuring him that, once again, it’s normal for people to have panic attacks and that it shouldn’t be considered embarrassing

Cyrus commiserating with him on having panic attacks. The show skirts around Cyrus’ own mental health issues, which is unfortunate, and a separate topic. However, it’s made clear that he’s had to deal with anxiety and panic attacks before. Having all the therapist parents means that he likely has learned how to deal with them, and we see him helping Jonah out a few more times in future episodes

Third Panic Attack

This scene is honestly probably one of the best ones in the entire show. One in a Minyan is my personal favorite episode for a number of reasons, and this scene is very high up on that list. At this point, it’s been a while since we saw Jonah actually have a panic attack (the last one was in the middle of season two). It comes out of nowhere, and there is apparently nothing that triggered it.

And that happens. That’s one of those sucky things that comes with having anxiety and panic attacks. Even if everything is seemingly fine, a panic attack can strike at any time for no reason at all. And if you’ve gone awhile without having one, it can feel like they were going away, but now it’s back and you have to deal with it again.

Cyrus’ advice is so good, and it’s something that I have to remind myself a lot of the time. No matter how bad it might be, it will end. You’ve gotten through them before, and you will again. But ultimately, a panic attack is temporary. There unfortunately is no way to stop having panic attacks completely, but you can learn how to manage them and not have them take over your life.

And that’s the last time that Jonah’s anxiety and panic attacks are mentioned on-screen. However, there are quite a few other things that I wanted to look at in regards to his anxiety. Because while panic attacks are the most obvious sign, there are a lot of other issues that people have to deal with when they have an anxiety disorder. Everyone experiences anxiety differently, and things that cause one person anxiety may not bother someone else, and vice versa. With Jonah, there are a couple of things that stand out.

Perception and Embarrassment

When it comes to his personality, Jonah cares what people think of him. In season one, he presents a very cheerful personality and seemingly gets along with everyone. As we get to know him better, we see that he cares very much about his image and how he is perceived by others. He’s considered popular, in contrast to the GHC, who are portrayed a bit as the dorky outsiders. However, the three of them are such close friends that they are comfortable being open with one another and know everything about each other. This could be an analysis all in itself, but we don’t have time for that here.

The GHC are comfortable being dorky or weird around each other. To varying degrees, they don’t care too much about what others think of them either. Jonah isn’t like this though, and there is that contrast between him and the other three. I made a photoset of this a while ago, but Jonah clearly demonstrates that he doesn’t like dressing up or wearing any type of costume. I can say from personal experience that I’ve had some anxiety related to wearing costumes as well, but mine’s a bit different. I’m always worried that I’ll be the only person wearing a costume on a dress-up day. However, Jonah’s anxiety seems to stem from not wanting to wear something unusual or anything that would make him stand out. 

Another big thing that crops up is him being embarrassed to tell his friends about major things. Telling them about having panic attacks, Libby breaking up with him, his family becoming homeless, and his mom being famous are all things that he tried to hide from them. Even though they have opened up to him and shared difficulties of their own, he still struggles doing the same. He internalizes a lot of stuff, which is pretty indicative of an anxiety disorder.

Avoidance

Related to this is Jonah’s tendency to avoidance. This is a huge thing that many people who have anxiety struggle with *raises hand.* He finally admits to Cyrus that he hasn’t learned sign language because he’s worried he’ll be bad at it and embarrass himself. He’d rather stick with texting because it’s easy and he can’t really mess it up. {Now, this is definitely not excusing Jonah for not learning sign language, because he definitely should have, but it explains it a little). 

And his conversation with Andi really stuck out to me. She sets up the situation in really vague terms, which leads to a very telling response from Jonah. If she had told him the whole story (applying to art school), I have no doubt that he would have encouraged her to apply and supported her in that decision. However, since she only gave him a vague outline of her problem, he looked at it from his own personal experiences and that’s why his advice is so bad. If he’s faced with a decision, and one of the choices is causing him stress and worry, he would rather choose to not do it, if it means that the stress and worry would go away. Anyone with anxiety knows this feeling very well.

It’s subtle, but it’s consistent with someone who has an anxiety disorder. And as someone who has lived with anxiety for many years, it was obvious to me why he said that. When you really look at Jonah’s character as a whole, it becomes a lot clearer why he makes certain decisions and acts in certain ways. Anxiety is a powerful motivator and can cause people to do – or not do – things based on how anxious it makes them feel.

Negatives

Now, there are some parts of this story line that could have been done better. The biggest one is therapy, or lack thereof. It’s mentioned by several characters that he should see a therapist, but Jonah brushes it off. He gets advice from Cyrus, and while it’s great that his friend is supportive and can give him help, Cyrus is not a licensed professional, and can’t really help Jonah get to the root of his problems. I wish the show would have shown Jonah talking to his parents about his anxiety and getting professional help. Not only would it have been realistic, but it’s a good message to send. There is still a pretty big stigma against therapy and mental illness, and having a character go to therapy and get much-needed help would have been a really great message.

There’s also the fact that he never actually told Andi about his panic attacks. Technically, he does so through the texts, but those don’t really factor into the story on screen, and not everyone has access, so it’s not really the best place to do so. Jonah makes multiple pleas to other characters to not let Andi know, because he was embarrassed. It would have been really great character development for him to finally tell her, but we never actually get to see it, which is disappointing.

Positives

We got a little bit of development near the end of the season with Jonah’s story line – he tells TJ about having panic attacks, which was actually a pretty big step for him. He and TJ weren’t particularly close, and even though they made up, there wasn’t a real reason for him to open up about his panic attacks. But he does – and it shows his growth as a character. He had previously been too scared to even tell his closest friends, but now he’s telling someone that he only just started getting along with.

And then there’s the stuff with his mom. While most of that story line was a bit on the goofy side, we see Jonah’s typical embarrassment at looking dorky through his family. He clearly looks uncomfortable through most of the scenes where Buffy and Cyrus figure things out. However, he finally lets go of his embarrassment and insecurities and just busts a few moves. It’s goofy, dorky, and embarrassing, but he owns it. Buffy and Cyrus could have easily made fun of him for it, but they were just dorky dancing themselves, and having a great time. It’s a really great moment of character development for him, and I wish we could have seen more.

Overall, Jonah’s story line was really important, and pretty well-done. It’s not perfect, but for what it’s worth, it was impactful, respectful, and realistic. Mental illness story lines can easily be done badly, but Andi Mack handled it appropriately and seriously. The episodes that feature Jonah’s anxiety were written by a variety of writers, but at least one of them (Jonathan Hurwitz) who wrote One in a Minyan, has stated that he personally suffers from anxiety, which is probably why that scene is so well-written and true to life.

Anyways, I probably missed some stuff, but tl;dr: Andi Mack portrayed a character with an anxiety disorder in a realistic way, and it’s a great example of how to incorporate a mental illness story line into a show. Media needs more positive representation of mental illnesses and Andi Mack did an incredible job, especially since it’s targeted towards kids.  

[ettadunham]

A Buffy rewatch 6x22 Grave

aka doesn’t matter i still love you

Welcome to this dailyish (weekly? bi-weekly?) text post series where I will rewatch an episode of Buffy and go on an impromptu rant about it for an hour. Is it about one hyperspecific thing or twenty observations? 10 or 3k words? You don’t know! I don’t know!!! In this house we don’t know things.

And today’s episode is easily the most unconventional season finale of the show (excluding Restless, which is more of a bonus episode). Buffy doesn’t defeat the Big Bad. Or... does she?

Fun fact, Grave is the only season finale that wasn’t written by Joss Whedon. Well, depending on whether you count Primeval or Restless as the finale of season 4, since the former was also penned by David Fury instead of Whedon.

But this episode has many other distinctions as well. It comes at the heels of an already subversive season, that was meant to deconstruct the very structure of the show, as well as its characters.

Deconstruction however is tough. If you don’t do it well, your audience will rightfully call you out on needlessly pulling your story in an often darker direction to seem fake deep or interesting.

And I feel like season 6 has plenty of criticisms on that front. This certainly wasn’t one of my favorite seasons on my first, or even second go at it. It’s hard seeing characters you love hurting and acting against their own self interests. It’s even harder to see them hurt each other.

This time around however, I wanted to not only look past those previous misgivings I had, but appreciate them and what they mean to the story. Because truth be told, I’m not sure season 6 is actually more flawed than any other season of Buffy.

That doesn’t mean that there aren’t issues – Willow’s drug addiction metaphor was pushed way too hard and took away from the themes of power and control surrounding her narrative for one –, but every season has its hurdles and strengths. Season 2 had an excellent arc, but a lot of confusing fillers. Season 4 meanwhile had great standalones, but a weak overall Big Bad. Every season had its missteps, and a lot of those are subjective to begin with. One girl’s Go Fish is anothers Beer Bad.

There are no wrong answers on this quiz.

So yeah, I went into season 6 not only knowing what to expect, but expecting to gain a new, more favorable perspective on it. And that’s more or less what I got.

Sure, there are things to criticize. But what I’ve been enjoying about this Buffy rewatch in particular, is the opportunity to write long paragraphs of nonsense rather than just saying “Thing Bad”.

Look at Tara’s death. I am perpetually ready to fight Joss Whedon over that in a parking lot, but it also gave us one of the most memorable examples of a hero going dark. And people’s been coming up fixes to that storyline for years (Xander being the one to die is a popular alternative among some fans, but also time travel if you go by fanfics), but it only goes to show that that story itself still worked.

…it’s just that it works in a horrible cultural context that’s rightfully criticized for perpetuating harmful notions, especially for some of the most vulnerable of our population, and the role of media in our society as both a reflection and a model can’t be ignored and should be discussed in order to call attention to these patterns.

Anywho. Grave.

As mentioned before, this is a rather unconventional season finale. Buffy doesn’t even get to fight the Big Bad, aka Willow in this one. Instead the initial showdown happens between Giles and Willow, at least up until the moment Willow breaks free.

That doesn’t mean that Buffy doesn’t fight though. She runs to save Dawn and Xander (and also Jonathan and Andrew I guess), and then when she gets stuck underground with Dawn, she fights to get out. And then she fights some magic zombie skeletons.

More importantly though, Buffy fights her own depression. She’s fighting to see that beauty and meaning in life that she failed to convince Willow of in the last episode.

She even talks to Giles about this. She tells him that she doesn’t understand why she’s here, why she’s alive, and Giles’s response of how she has a calling feels unsatisfying.

Others would’ve taken her place. She was done.

Then why is she here now?

And Giles doesn’t have an answer to that. Because they both know that there isn’t one. There isn’t a purpose to life, no all-encompassing explanation. We all have to find our own answers to get us through the day.

And by the end, Buffy finds hers in Dawn. Seeing life through her eyes, her future, the many things that’s yet to come. It’s arguably a bit clumsy, and I wish we built more on this theme between Buffy and Dawn this season, but it does tie into another aspect of the episode.

While season 6 in itself is a deconstruction of the show, this finale, and Buffy’s arc in particular, is clearly a subversion of the end of season 5. And in true Buffy fashion, a very unsubtle one at that.

In The Gift, the sun coming up marked the turning point for Buffy, the realization that she can save Dawn by sacrificing herself.

In Grave, the sun comes up right after Giles confirms that Willow’s going to end the world.

In the season 5 finale, Buffy jumps to her death. At the end of season 6, she crawls out of the ground to live.

I could go on, but you get my point.

This is also just a great moment for Dawn, as she interrogates Buffy on why she didn’t tell her what Spike did, and reminds Buffy how she can’t protect her from the world. Tragedy happens either way.

BUFFY:  “Dawn, I'm trying to protect you.” DAWN:  “Well, you can't! Look around, Buffy. We're trapped in here! Willow's killing and people I love keep dying! And you cannot protect me from that.”

At the center of it all though is Willow. I’ve already been through the broad strokes here; basically, Willow’s rampage is about avoiding feeling her pain and grief.

And Giles understands that. I absolutely love Anthony Stewart Head’s performance in this one; Giles is focused and cautious, but there’s also genuine pain and concern in his expression as he’s talking to Willow. I also love this exchange around the end of their fight:

GILES:  “Your powers may be undeniably greater. But I can still hurt you if I have to.” WILLOW:  “Boy, you just don't get it, do you? Nothing can hurt me now. This? *heals a cut on her face* Is nothing. It's all... nothing.” GILES:  “I see. If you lose someone you love, the other people in your life who care about you become meaningless. I wonder what Tara would say about that.”

Yup. Giles definitely knows how to hurt Willow. Willow’s line of “it’s all… nothing” is also a lot, especially that little melancholic tint that Alyson Hannigan delivers it with.

But apparently this was all part of Giles’ plan to get Willow to take his magic away, so it would open up her to feel again. However, his line to her afterwards about how “she can make it stop” naturally backfires.

Willow’s been doing all this in order to stop the pain. Giles wants her to feel it to get through it, but Willow predictably would rather see the whole world burn than feel it anymore.

I’m not a super big fan of the narrative choice to have Giles comment upon what’s happening through his link to Willow after that, especially by the end as Xander shows up with her. But I do like those initial lines when he first feels what Willow does, and you can see the pain through him.

Giles later says that the magic she took from him tapped into Willow’s remaining humanity, but I’m not sure I would use that wording. Willow tried to avoid and shut off her pain through her murder trip, but that was still her. Her humanity, her pain was there underneath all along – Giles’ plan just made it harder for her to repress those emotions.

So, hence why she decided to go full apocalypse in order to stop feeling them anymore.

It definitely made it easier for Xander to get through to her in that moment too. But maybe he didn’t even need the extra supernatural help for that.

Willow spent the last three episodes trying to get away from herself. She didn’t want to come back, and she made sure to burn all her bridges in the process. Knowing that what she’s done would cost her friends only strengthened her resolve.

And here comes Xander, out of nowhere. Xander with his familiar, signature jokes, the ones that he cracks in order to cope with life.

More importantly, Xander doesn’t blink. He doesn’t fight or argues with Willow. Doesn’t try to convince her to stop. And that, paired with the familiarity momentarily disarms Willow. So she counters that by lashing out, hurting Xander.

But Xander, once again, doesn’t blink. Because he’s not bluffing. When he says that he’s okay with the world ending as long as he gets to be with his best friend, it’s because he means it.

This is a difference that I’ve been alluding with Buffy for a while now. Buffy can’t do what Xander does here. She can’t put the whole world aside to be with her best friend. That’s not who she is.

It’s definitely who Xander is though. Right or wrong, he always goes with his heart.

So, that’s what he does. He does exactly what Willow mocks him for, and tells her that he loves her.

Even if she kills him, he’ll still love her.

The fear of being unlovable is ingrained into us all on some level. It creeps in when we least expect it. Fear that we’re not good enough. Fear that we can never live up to others expectations of us. Fear that we won’t be accepted. Fear that we can’t be forgiven.

That’s why there’s so much power in unconditional love. Being told that we’ll be loved, no matter what.

We often don’t even realize the anxiety and fears we have about it and how deep they go; so the sheer relief upon hearing those words can be unexpected and overwhelming. And Willow’s no exception.

Again, she tries lashing out, telling Xander to stop, hurting him, but it’s of no use. All he does is repeat those words, even while suffering through the pain that was inflicted on him. By her. “I love you. I love you.”

And when Willow breaks, she breaks hard. Letting herself go in her best friend’s arms, feeling all of her grief at once.

Platonic love saves the day, as the show once again invokes Sarah McLachlan in its final moments. It’s a less memorable song choice than Full of Grace was at the end of season 2, but it’s a nice callback to that.

Oh, and Spike’s got his soul back, after the last few episodes aggressively tried red-herring that he went to remove his chip.

Overall, as I said, I enjoyed this season. As with all seasons, there were things that worked less so, but I generally liked the deconstruction that we’ve got around to. Instead of a Big Bad representing a metaphor for Buffy to overcome, we’ve made those struggles real. The Big Bad of season 6 was Buffy’s depression, Willow’s addiction and need for control, Xander’s baggage, and so on.

We also didn’t need to turn the characters inside out to have these turns and conflicts. The season built on well-established character flaws, and guided us through a journey full of ups and downs, culminating in an emotionally cathartic finale.

I think I’m ready for the finish line.

[ifeveristoday]

team Slow Burn/Burn it All Down

“Real monsters don’t announce themselves or present opportunities. Not here. They enter your head, your heart, tear at you from within.” -- Angel, Hellmouth #2

Are we talking about the demons underground or the demon walking around with Angel’s face?

Hellmouth leans heavy on foreshadowing and having unspoken/underlining meanings that differ from the actual words on the page. It continues using elements from Egyptian and Roman/Greek mythos but the main draw of this issue - and I’m assuming the rest of the series, is the reluctant partnership of Buffy and Angel. I don’t agree with the criticism that taking Buffy and Angel away from their respective apocalypses ruins the flow of the overall arcs. It’s a vast story to tell and the pace of the reboots (which is something I have criticized) makes it difficult to include in the main storylines without sacrificing important character development. There are just so many characters, especially in Sunnydale. Jordie’s writing excels at the character and emotional beats rather than plots, and while we have had some great strides in Willow, Xander and Jenny’s personal journeys, there remains some distance from the namesake characters, which I feel like it was intentional to get to the place that Hellmouth occupies. 

Love it or hate it, the Buffy and Angel relationship is a huge part of both of their stories and character developments and we’ve had inklings of how Buffy is going to change/possibly wreck Angel’s life in Angel, but he’s remained a shadowy figure in Buffy’s story. Hellmouth changes all of that while retaining some of the original canon’s flaws/trademarks but also poking gentle fun at them.

Spoilers from Hellmouth #2 below the cut.

Buffy and Angel are slightly different from their canon selves - Angel is independent of Buffy’s journey at the very beginning and already has his purpose set in Los Angeles. Buffy is a newly minted Slayer, living with her secret for a whole three weeks before wacky Slayer hijinks puts her in the path of Willow and Xander. Their initial meeting/relationship is reminiscent of the very early episodes of Season 1 Buffy - with a reasonable amount of wariness on Buffy’s part and Angel’s dry/slightly cocky attitude with a 2019 update of their anxieties. There’s also a flip in roles as Angel asks Buffy how she’s feeling and what she wants to do in the future at the start. It’s just the feeling of a connection with no romantic overtones. 

The comic recognizes the fucked-upness of Buffy being a child and fighting the forces of evil and sympathizing with her via the character of Jenny. While there is an obligatory nod to Buffy’s desire to be normal, it also makes a point of isolating her from the Scoobies and her frustration at knowing how to be the best Slayer she can be. Giles tells her that he’s to direct her, but not tell her explicitly what she has to do sounds an awful like parents preparing their children for adulthood. There is no handbook. While Buffy is welcomed into Willow and Xander’s circle (and that’s another flip - it is Willow who reaches out to Buffy first and invites her into being social), they’re very much a unit while Buffy sort of floats between their friendship. But I feel due to them being so young, it’s easy to claim best friendship, because - the intensity of feelings and hormones.

This makes Buffy’s character kind of harder to read, and less sunshiney than her OG counterpart. But it’s a shared facade - TV Buffy just hid it better underneath girliness and bouncy hair, while Boom! Buffy is focused, for better or worse to her duty. This is a Buffy that hasn’t quit Slaying before, who gets slightly conflicted guidance from her Watcher and who needs Willow and Xander more than they possibly need her to be a connection to being sixteen. Everyone has their own stuff to deal with.

Hellmouth gives Buffy the spotlight and also drops her into an immediate partnership with Angel. It very pointedly is not a romance - they both get on each others nerves actually, and it inspires A+ bantering while revealing the most of each character so far. Buffy’s venting to Angel (Buffy #8/Hellmouth #1) implies that she’s worried about her friendships and failure to connect, that she’d rather tell a complete stranger this than confide in her friends/Watcher. 

Angel listening and not judging shows an immediate empathy for her - and his actions during Hellmouth show a more vulnerable/less closed off Angel. He doesn’t occupy the same caretaker vibe he has with Fred and Gunn that he does with Buffy, namely because Buffy refuses it. She calls him out on trying to be the mysterious weight of the world Loner who takes on all of the responsibilities. 

Angel quickly realizes he just can’t be That Guy with Buffy, and it makes his character hilariously resigned/looser in response. He warns her about dangers in the Hellmouth but accepts Buffy’s way is different from his, but that doesn’t make it wrong. He’s willing to admit he might have been wrong about demons being upfront when the slithery shapeshifter demon confronts them - and Buffy’s snarky response “Cool, cool. Won’t rub that in.” lightens the tense moment. 

Notably, Angel is the one that gets injured/dragged by the demons while Buffy runs to save him. The fighting sequences are highlighted and Buffy’s scenes, in particular, are very smooth and highlights her Slayer grace. They fight beautifully together and despite their prickly banter, feel a shared responsibility to each other’s well being. Their separate confrontations with the shapeshifter shows their fears - Buffy ‘abandoning’ her family and friends and failing to protect them, Angel seeing the ghosts of the people he’s failed to save. Buffy reacts strongly to how her family and friends need her, while Angel angrily tells the shifter to stay out of his head and that it doesn’t know anything about him. Circling back to Buffy saying she doesn’t know what she wants, the Ominous voice implies Angel doesn’t really know what he’s doing and who he is.

Ah, vague accusations of something evil and upsetting, how I haven’t missed you.

After Angel demands to know who’s blood is needed for the further escalation of Evil Plan, and the Voice doesn’t reply, he immediately realizes Buffy is in danger and runs to find her.

Buffy’s still fighting the shifter and it mentions she could put an end to her family and friends’ suffering with her sacrifice - namely, that her blood will save the world.

While Buffy logically knows that the shifter isn’t her mom (because of course, the shifter would take on the form of Joyce), this emotional blackmail breaks her out of the illusion and she kicks it’s ass. Almost punching out Angel in the process. 

Angel is less emotional about his ordeal and Buffy lets him have it again, telling him that it's unfair that she’s the only one being vulnerable - “I opened up because we need to work together, and you haven’t said a thing.”

Instead of being defensive and defaulting to Sir Mopes a Lot - Angel sincerely apologizes and tells her that his fears were also centered around his friends and him not being able to save them in time.

And it’s Buffy’s turn to reassure him/pass on wisdom - she realizes that the Hellmouth wants to separate them to make them weaker and that Angel deserves a little more empathy from her.

THEY’RE COMMUNICATING THEIR FRUSTRATIONS AND CONCERNS WITH EACH OTHER, Y’ALL.

Angel does have a moment of saying, “Silent suffering is more my cup of tea,” and Buffy’s quick response of “And how’s that working for you?” showcase their differences/similarities nicely. Angel despite making friends doesn’t tell them what he’s thinking because he’s used to being alone, Buffy with her very loud opinions isolates herself (un)intentionally because she’s new to Slaying and being a teenager at the same time. They can’t talk to the people who care for them--- but they can talk to each other.

When they face hurdles, they take turns reassuring/pointing out the Obvious Evil, and then a tiny moment - Angel adds onto Buffy’s observation of not getting surrounded by the demon horde by saying, “Just like Thermopylae.”

As with each issue of the Boom!verse, when names I don’t recognize I obviously google them - and Thermopylae is a reference to both the battle of Thermopylae (think the 300 comic and uh, history) and the “Hot Gates,” and is the cavernous entrance to Hades.

Is my theory/wish that there’s going to be Persephone/Hades parallels and Eurydice/Orpheus vibes in this story going to play out? God, I hope so.

Anyway, back to the moment - when they inevitably get surrounded by the demon hordes, Buffy remarks, “Well, there goes thermometer.”

The. Classic. Buffy. Malapropism.

My heart.

Angel gets slashed in the fight, and Buffy worries about him, but there’s a bigger problem - 

narrated by the Voice - “Are you sure everything is as it seems? You’ve been wrong before.”

“Blood is spilled...vessels are filled...every pretender killed.”

Shot to Drusilla as Prometheus in chains, spouting some of the worst “Dru-esque” dialogue I’ve read. Sorry Jordie, this is up there with the clunky faux Whedonisms of the early issues.

So Dru isn’t the major Big Bad, but rather the unseen Voice, who we, of course, don’t know.

Is she ultimate sacrifice, the vessel (after all she is of Angel’s bloodline) and oh, Angel Still Hasn’t Told Buffy He’s A Vampire which...

Boo.

All of the voice overs hint that the confession when it happens is going to cause Buffy Big Mad - after all, Angel knows more about her than she does of him, AGAIN.

The art and coloring is stunning as ever in this issue - Carlini really knows how to draw action sequences, and the varying light/color schemes really make the sense of Buffy and Angel descending into the Hellmouth feel vivid and real.

tl;dr I loved this issue and each issue the stakes definitely seem higher. The bantering and a slow reveal of their personalities are also excellent. The foreshadowing/double meanings of the dialogues.

The stuff I don’t like - the Dru dialog at the end, Angel being secretive about his Vampire self.

[nerdsideofthemedia]

The misogyny in the RWBY fandom

I’ve seen more than my share of misogyny within the RWBY fandom, which should be nonsensical considering it’s a show that focuses on 4 female characters. Yes, I know homophobia is very present too. I mean just today I’ve seen these:

However, this comment doesn’t just show homophobia (like assuming all of the characters were straight, and calling “no artistic integrity” when they’re revealed not to be), it also reveals misogyny in the form of entitlement: they someone liked a character, therefore, she should have a compatible sexual orientation with them.

I don’t think the misogyny has been called out nowhere enough as it should be, considering how much I’ve encountered, especially on youtube comments. I decided to make a list of some sexist arguments I’ve seen and explain why they shouldn’t be used.

Jaune is being cucked

I assume this one relates to Jaune being the weakest of the group combat-wise and not about him not getting the girl, since the show isn’t over and who knows? He might end up with someone, though I don’t understand the fixation with everyone having to end up with somebody. There are single people in the world and they’re not all miserable. Pretty much like there are many married or in a relationship who are unhappy. 

About him being the weakest, I think that’s what makes him stand out. So many shows frame guys as powerful and strong, especially action-related ones (right now, the only exception that comes to mind is Xander from Buffy the Vampire Slayer), it’s a breath of fresh air to see a male character to not live up to that image and it makes sense because a lot of guys don’t. He expands the notions of masculinity instead of constraining to this very specific thing that most (if not all) guys in the real-life cannot truly live up to.

Sun should fight Adam because (this was when Adam was alive):

Ex vs boyfriend;

Prove he’s the one who deserves her;

Blake slept with Adam and didn’t tell Sun. During the fight, Adam will reveal this and Sun will be pissed. (no, I’m not joking, I’ve seen this one)

The first one is a dick contest. There really wasn’t any reason for Sun to fight Blake other than that. Unlike Blake, he had no ties to Adam and was never abused by him. Unlike Yang, he was never maimed by Adam. Literally the only reason is a dick contest. Sun going against Adam would actually take the spotlight away from the gals who did have real reasons to fight Adam.

The same applies to the second one, which reduces Blake to even more of a prize. A reward for the one who proved his worth, which is defined by “manliness”.

As for the last one… I will quote myself in “We Need to Talk about Adam Taurus”, where I initially addressed this perspective:

“I find this comment absolutely disgusting on several levels. 1) We don’t actually know if Adam and Blake had sex (I understand there’s not much reason for Adam to draw the line there, but again, I won’t treat it as certain, even if likely); 2) that relationship was abusive; 3) with a relevant age difference (she was a minor, he wasn't); 4) a power imbalance (he was her mentor). Assuming they had sex, it seems like Blake’s ability to consent was basically non-existent; 5) Even if there was no problem with their relationship, so what if Blake had sex with Adam? They dated, Sun knows that. Why would he get to be mad at her for that? This is as dumb as slut-shaming gets. You had sex with your boyfriend, how could you?”

These 2 comments were made by the same person and the person responding pushed back on… pretty much everything and the conversation was polite, so I’m not going to address the BS/BB elements that aren’t problematic.

This been said, I still want to mention what I underlined: the first associates that doing something for someone should get you into their panties. This perspective is still sexist and entitled. The idea that being introduced as a love interest and not become it is a slap in the face is also problematic. If every character who has a crush on someone gets them, then I’d say that wouldn’t work from a verisimilitude perspective (we don’t always date our crushes) and honestly, I think it helps with the entitlement. This idea that people just have to reciprocate your feelings, especially if you do something for them, which is far from dead in real life too. We should have more shows with unrequited love that leads to them accepting themselves as friends and nothing more.

Oh, and yes, following someone for months without their knowledge is stalking, no matter the motive. In fact, most stalkers think they’re doing the right thing.

The second one is… weird. I don’t really get how the person could think that. Blake is a main character, Sun isn’t. The likelihood of her dying for HIM to be developed is basically non-existent. I feel compelled to blame internet RWBY critics for this one since they tend to emphasize killing characters as if that’s the only way to create character arcs and raise the stakes. Still, thinking it’s OK to kill a main female character for the sake of a male minor one feels like it falls on the camp of sexist - it feel like saying “no, women can’t be the ones that matter”. And there’s the once again “after all the times he has been there for her”, which I will talk about again.

I already addressed this one on Bumblebee part 2, so quoting myself here too:

“There is a lot to unpack here.

First, it’s ridiculous to think you can be owed love/getting into someone’s panties. You can’t. People either love you/want to do you, or they don’t. If you want to do something for someone else, great, but do it because you want to and like (not necessarily in a romantic way) said person or because you’re altruistic – don’t expect a reward. This is what you sound like:

Second, it’s idiotic to associate getting the girl with masculinity or not getting her with being “cucked”. If your notion of being a man is tied to getting someone else, that’s on you. If you need someone else to feel good about yourself, maybe you have some underlying issues to address (another reference to Crazy Ex-Girlfriend – watch the show, especially if you’re making comments like the one I showed: you need it. I feel like the narrator in “S.O.B.s”).

Third, even by the logic of “after everything I’ve done for you”, Sun doesn’t win, because Yang paid a much bigger price: she lost an arm and had PTSD while he had a minor injury from which he had basically recovered by the next episode. This isn’t a “Yang deserves her” either – that argument is nonsensical no matter the pairing being defended, I’m just pointing out that it doesn’t even favor BS.

[...]

As for the dyke representation… (the fact that they phrased it that way is very telling) if it was just that, then any lesbian couple would do. RWBY is about 4 female characters. Seriously, how come people never ask themselves why this one is so popular, even though Yang and Blake aren’t the most popular characters? From what I’ve seen, Weiss and Yang are.”

 Adam was good until Blake left him

This is literally based on nothing. Judging by the canon, he was abusive to her. No one goes from perfectly fine to obsessive stalker just because they were left. Also, abusive or not, Blake had every right to leave. No one is entitled for the relationship to last as long as they want. You had 5, 10, 20 years together, great, but your significant other can still end the relationship tomorrow. No one should be trapped.

Also, I‘ve heard there are a lot of rape jokes, which is disgusting. Rape jokes don’t make edgy or daring - they just reveal you’re an idiot. 

I am sure there are more awful and sexist takes, but I hope this covers the bulk of it. I know that Blake in particular is a victim among the fandom too (that girl cannot catch a break) because of Adam and Sun fans who feel entitled. If you use any of those arguments, knock it off. 

[tyrus-muffins]

Loving is Easy

Ship(s): Creed & Tyrus

Word Count:  2827

Summary: TJ reflects on his past with Reed and Lester. Meanwhile, Cyrus decides to live on the edge and go to this party everybody has told him to not attend. Afterall, dancing with danger is on his bucket list! What could go wrong?

Notes:  check out the notes at the end! ily xx  

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6

AO3

---------------------------------------

Chapter Three: Far Too Young To Die

TJ and Reed have known each other since second grade. As long as TJ has known him, Reed has always been a pretty reckless kid. He's a good person, he even does great in school and cares about his grades. There's just this one thing about him. He has this impulsive trait and he's a very in the moment kind of person. Luckily, TJ has always been there to help balance out that impulsiveness.

Some time back in the beginning of 7th grade, TJ came out to Reed. This inspired Reed to come out a month later, and they ended up dating a couple months after that. TJ and Reed were only out to each other, besides their best friend, Lester. The thought of it leaving their little circle was terrifying for the both of them.  

Unfortunately, Reed started hanging out with the wrong crowd around this time. TJ was constantly defending Reed and fighting his battles for him every time he turned around. One thing about TJ, he is very protective of the ones he loves. But because of this, TJ gained a bad reputation. TJ tried telling Reed he needed to stop hanging out with these people, but he would never listen.

Not even a month into the relationship, TJ broke it off. He couldn't handle it. TJ hated the thought of everyone being scared of him. It made TJ feel horrible about himself. TJ wasn't a bad person, he was just trying to defend his boyfriend. But due to all the fights he was involved in to protect Reed, rumors started spreading and well, everyone knows what happens with rumors. False information is spread, and usually the good guy is made out to look like the bad guy.

This was unfortunately TJ's case. Eventually, he owned up to the title of the scary captain of the basketball team. His friends slowly stopped communicating with him and he started being a complete ass to anyone who even so much as looked in his direction. TJ was becoming depressed. Lonely. His grades were dropping and he barely felt like leaving the house half the time.

He didn’t really hang out with Reed anymore because of his poor choices in friends, and he'd see Lester at lunch or in the halls. Other than that, he had the guys on the basketball team, which he never even really saw unless it was for practice.

Being protective must be a Kippen family trait because both TJ and Amber were cursed with it. Well, maybe not cursed, per se. It's a good trait to have. It just depends on the circumstances. In TJ’s case, he was protecting his boyfriend that was making bad choices, which ultimately backfired on TJ and caused bad rumors to spread about him.

It wasn't until TJ met Cyrus that he let his guard down and started feeling like his old self again. Ever since that moment in the cafeteria when Buffy pulled him into his view, TJ knew he had it bad. He hadn't even known the boy 5 minutes and he felt his heart come to a complete halt. After talking to Cyrus more, he didn't know why but he felt like he could tell him anything. He couldn't tell if that was a good or bad thing, but he decided to not stress over it too much.

Funny thing about it, he didn't know why Cyrus even wanted to be near him, let alone talk to him. Especially considering the way TJ treated his best friend. TJ felt horrible for treating Buffy so badly. She didn’t even do anything. TJ was just in a really bad place.

The more TJ thought about it, the more he realized he was changing because of Cyrus. He wanted to change for him. He wanted to feel worthy of him. Cyrus was such a good person and TJ felt like the complete opposite. He really liked Cyrus and it didn't take too long for him to figure it out, but he could never think of the right way to tell him how he felt.

TJ knew he needed to start by making amends with Buffy. Try to, at the very least. He could've just owned up to his mistakes and said, "I was wrong for what I did. You didn't deserve to be treated to badly. I'm really sorry." But, no. He knew he needed to make this the 'best apology ever'. So, he rapped an apology. Okay, yeah, really cheesy and cringe-y if he was being honest. But, Buffy accepted the apology and that’s all he cared about.

Hell, if it wasn't for Cyrus, TJ wouldn't have accepted the fact that he had dyscalculia and gotten help so quickly. Cyrus made TJ want to be a better person.

After TJ apologized to Buffy, him and Cyrus had this whole conversation about forgiveness, which got TJ thinking about Reed. He never stopped talking to Reed, they spoke over the phone sometimes. Mainly just TJ checking in to see if Reed was still alive half the time. He didn't really hang out with Reed and Lester anymore and if he was being completely honest with himself, he missed them. A lot.

That being said, with TJ’s initiation, the trio finally started hanging out again. Granted, Reed was still hanging out with the wrong crowd, but TJ was just happy to be hanging out with his friends again. TJ had made a promise to himself that he wouldn't let himself get involved with Reed's new friends or try defending him. Which, thankfully, TJ was able to keep that promise to himself.

After hanging out with his friends again like old times and getting along, he decided he wanted Cyrus to meet his friends. Lester, he didn't really have to worry about. However, he made Reed promise to not embarrass him or do some dumb shit to scare Cyrus off.

Reed could pick up that TJ had a crush on this Cyrus kid before he even met him. What was so special about him? Reed wondered. Whatever it was, TJ was clearly smitten over this kid and Reed loved picking on him about it.

It wasn't until Reed actually met this Cyrus boy that he understood exactly what TJ was talking about. He couldn't help but flirt with this guy! He had a feeling TJ might catch on since Reed was cursed with being the most obvious flirter possibly in existence. If TJ did catch on, he never said anything to Reed about it. Reed figured TJ would've said something by now if he had a crush on this guy, so Reed decided to go for it!

He saw him in the halls of the school quite often and Cyrus would hang out with the trio every once and a while. Sure, he didn't know Cyrus that well, but he couldn’t help but like him! It was practically impossible to not crush on this kid.

When TJ found out Reed asked Cyrus out on a date, he was furious. He called Reed and let him have it. TJ couldn't fathom how Reed could do something like this to him. Sure, as Reed pointed out, TJ never actually said the words "I have a crush on Cyrus," or "Hey I really like this guy, please don't go crushing on him or whatever." and yeah, TJ was mad at himself for it.

He should’ve just told them. But he didn’t expect his friends to go chasing after him! Especially not Reed. He has yet to clean up his act and TJ knew Reed wasn't good for Cyrus. He could not let Cyrus get mixed up in Reed's crowd of friends. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if something happened to Cyrus.

TJ was walking home from The Spoon as all of this went through his mind. All of this has been bugging TJ for a while and he’s been avoiding thinking about everything. He guessed Cyrus struck a nerve when he said he didn’t need protecting.

"Now you’re going to hold me back from going to a high school party because you think I can’t handle it?“ and “Well, maybe I don’t need to be protected!” kept playing through TJ’s mind.

He didn’t know what he said that would’ve made Cyrus snap and leave. He was just trying to warn him about Reed and his friends. Why wouldn’t he listen? TJ knows Reed better than Cyrus does! Why was he so hellbent on believing Reed was a good person and would never hurt him? To be fair, he’s never told Cyrus the whole story. He couldn’t. He wasn’t ready to out himself yet. But why wouldn’t Cyrus just take TJ’s word for it?

TJ is breaks himself out of his thoughts when he opens his front door and is greeted by Amber.

“Where are you going?” He asked, noticing she was dressed up as if she was going to a party. This was perfect. He had a sinking feeling that Cyrus might end up at the party anyway despite TJ telling him it’s a bad idea. Buffy and Andi told him they’d tell Cyrus to not go, but something was just telling TJ to go anyway. Better to be safe than sorry, he guessed.

Amber raised a suspicious eyebrow, “A party? What’s it to you?”

“I need to go with you. Cyrus is going to be there.”

A huge grin grew on her face and she scoffed, "Cyrus Goodman? Attending a High School party? Nice try, TJ."

"Amber! I'm serious!” He said before giving her a quick rundown of the recent events between Cyrus and Reed.

Amber knit her eyebrows, "Wait, so, you're serious?" she questioned after a moment.

"Yes! I can't make this shit up, Amber." He pointed out.

She sighed, caving in. "I guess not. Fine you can come with. But if you're not ready in like 5 minutes, I'm leaving without you. And if he’s not there, I’m kicking your ass."

“I’ll take my chances.” He remarked sarcastically before quickly running up to his room and throwing on a black t-shirt, a hoodie, and light denim jeans. He ran back downstairs and Amber was standing by the front door tapping her foot impatiently. "Took you long enough!"

"Let's go."

---------------------------------------

It was 7:32pm and Cyrus was sitting criss-cross at the end of his bed, contemplating whether or not he should go to the party. He really wanted to go and give Reed a chance. But at the same time, everybody was telling him it was probably a bad idea.   

His phone buzzed with a notification, snapping him out of his contemplation.

reed: ill be at the party in a few to help set up snacks n stuff.

reed: come early if u want. cant wait for u to meet my friendsss xx

Cyrus stared at the text for a moment. Okay, the party can't be that bad, can it? Reed seems nice and if something were to happen, he'd get him out of there. Reed is a good person! Okay, Cyrus. Shake it off. TJ was just overreacting.

"Alright, Cyrus." He said to himself, waving off the tiny voice in the back of his head telling him it’s a terrible idea he will regret for the rest of his life. "We're going to a party."

8:16pm, Cyrus knocks on the door. He stood there with his arms crossed, rubbing his hands up and down his arms. He forgot a jacket and didn't realize it until he was halfway to the party. The second Cyrus left his house, all the pros and cons of attending this party flooded his brain. That is, until the door is opened and he meets eyes with a brunette boy who looked to be a freshman.

"Hey, you must be Cyrus!!" He greeted enthusiastically.

Cyrus greeted him with a nervous smile, "Yup! That's uh- that's me!" He laughed, trying to hide how anxious he was.

"Come on in, bro!" He said, stepping aside while Cyrus entered the house. "Hey, Reed! Your boy is here!" The brunette boy called.

Reed came walking out of the kitchen, "Cy!! You made it!" He exclaimed over the loud music as he wrapped Cyrus in a hug.

"Hey, Reed! Uh- there's uh, a lot of people here!"

Reed chuckled, "It's a party, what'd you expect?" he teased, raising an eyebrow.

Cyrus shrugged and Reed led them over to a couch where a few of Reed's friends were sat.

"Guys! This is my boyfriend, Cyrus. Cyrus, this is Connor, Lilly, and you already know Lester." The three strangers greeted him with hi’s and hello's and Cyrus waved in response. Besides Lester, they looked to be in 9th/10th grade, he noted.

Cyrus and Reed sat on the couch next to a couple of Reed’s friends. Quite surprisingly, the conversation was going really great! They started off talking about music and then at some point the subject was changed to stuff Cyrus wasn't familiar with, so he kept to himself for the most part after that.

He heard the door open and someone greet an ‘Amber’, so he turned his head to see her and someone with their hoodie up walk in. Cyrus looked over at Reed, "I'll be right back."

Reed glanced at him, nodding quickly before turning his attention back to the conversation. Cyrus got up and walked over to Amber.

"Amber, hi!" He beamed.

The kid in the hoodie walked away before he could catch a glimpse of their face, "Hey, Cyrus! I didn't know you'd be at this party!" She pulled him in for a quick hug, "What are you doing here?"

"Oh! I'm uh, I'm here with my...boyfriend!" He hesitated, gesturing toward Reed sitting on the couch.

Her eyes widen, "TJ was serious? You're dating Reed?" she grimaced. "I'm surprised you would want to date someone like him."

He knit his eyebrows, "What do you mean?"

She sighed, "Not my story to tell. Just be careful, okay, Cy?"

He scoffed irritatedly, "Amber!"

"Bye, Cy!" She chirped innocently before walking over to the kid in the hoodie, who had his face down looking at his phone. Cyrus rolled his eyes, walking back over to Reed and sat down. If he didn't feel anxious before, he did now.

Maybe TJ wasn't overreacting. To be fair, TJ has known Reed practically their whole lives. But Cyrus has yet to see what's so bad about Reed or his friends! Cyrus was the type of person that gave somebody a chance or two to redeem themselves instead of judging them based off of what other people have said about them.

Nobody is telling Cyrus what Reed supposedly did wrong, so why would he judge him for something he doesn’t know about? Reed is the only boy that has ever liked Cyrus as more than a friend. He’s not just going to throw this away! Okay, maybe a bad way of thinking. But Cyrus didn’t want to think about that right now. For now, he wanted to try and have fun for once.

---------------------------------------

TJ was listening to music on his phone and scrolling through instagram, looking up every now and again to check on Cyrus. He took out one of his earbuds when he noticed Amber approaching him. “What?” He said after a second of silence.

She looked at him disapprovingly. “If you’re gonna be at this party, at least interact with people? Like maybe, I dunno, Cyrus?”

He squinted at her, frustrated, “Amber, I told you. Cyrus can’t know I’m here. Neither can Reed or Lester.”

“Speaking of, I thought you, Lester and Reed were all buddies again? Why was Cyrus invited and not you? Or just both?” Amber asked, genuinely confused.

“Hmm, maybe because I’m his ex and it would be kind of awkward to bring your ex to the same party you’re introducing your friends and your current boyfriend to.” He retorted.

“Yikes,” Amber said, raising her eyebrows. “Somebody is jealous.”

“Am not!” He said, an octave too high. He cleared his throat when Amber replied with a knowing look before rolling his eyes, “Okay maybe a little. Listen, I can’t worry about that right now. I’m here to protect Cyrus if need be. I’m not here to socialize.”

Amber shrugged and there was a silence, “You should probably go back to your friends before you draw attention to me.” he said.

Amber rolled her eyes, “Good luck.” She whispered before walking off.

“Yeah, thanks. I’ll need it.” He mumbled quietly to himself.

--------------------------------------- 

End Notes: there it is!! hope you guys liked it! the next chapter should be up on Saturday or Sunday, i already have most of it written out.

also, if you guys dont mind, please let me know if you prefer longer or shorter chapters and i’ll have a better idea on how i’ll write future chapters! xx

[tessatechaitea]

New Titans #103

Tumblr is definitely going to flag this as adult content.

Marv Wolfman predicted Twitter

Just when you thought the Teen Titans had run out of relatives to attack them, Rita Farr shows up with the Brotherhood of Evil to disrupt the Titans' mind probe of Cyborg. During the fight, Terra finds time to remind Gar that she loves him because this comic book is ultimately a teen drama. It definitely isn't a super-hero comic book because the Titans never save anybody. It's simply a metaphor for being a teenager in nowhere near the same way Buffy the Vampire Slayer was. I mean, Buffy was as well but it was done competently which is why this is nothing like Buffy. Wolfman only knew that to be a successful teen drama, you need young people crippled by crushes, engaging in sex, and fighting with their parents. That's this entire series in a nutshell. I once wrote a teen drama and here it is:

Canada Junior High

The fat kid ran up to the hot girl on his first day of Canadian School but not because he was hoping to become a man but because it was his sister. "Hey sis! We're going to Canada School together now!" bothered the fat kid. His name was Fatkid. "Don't talk to me, you mopface!" screamed his sister completely irrationally just like a junior high school girl would act. Even in Canadia which just goes to show that communism isn't any better than whatever America has because teenage girls are mean and nasty everywhere. Especially to their mothers and fat brothers. "But Sis! We need to stick together because our parents don't live in the same house and neither do we for some reason that isn't because our dad is a fish but some other reason. I think it is because he likes jokes and whoopee cushions. And chicks old enough to get married and do it don't like those things," expostulated Fatkid to Sis (that was her name in case you didn't catch that). "I don't care! You're making me unpopular! Go bug someone who isn't me, you mopface!" re-emphasized Sis who immediately went into the bathroom to change into her popular clothes. That means she made herself look like a whore. While she did that, Fatkid went and got himself locked in a broom closet by Jacob Jacoby, the shortest kid ever to go to Canada School. "Ha ha! That mopface sure fell for the old get yourself locked in the closet routine!" high-fived Jacob to Lizard and Spokes who were off to write one song for their band and play it every episode for the next five years. "I think I'm a lesbian!" dreamed Spacelin during the big slumber party. Unless she had a medickal seizure instead. Either way it doesn't matter since both things probably make for good character development. After that, Lucky did some shoplifting with that one girl who never returns after Christmas Break (unless it is called Boxing Day Break in Canada School). And then the cool girl got pregnant at a party just like all the cool girls do. You can tell she's the cool girl because she has hair that can put ten people's eyes out all at once. Then some foreign exchange student named Doctor Somebody saved the world from inside a phone booth and some people asked for money while other people answered phones. That was weird but it's probably important to the story so if you're an editor, don't even think about taking it out. I think there were some really scary puppets who only ate vegetable soup looking for treasure while riding in a hot air balloon too but I don't like to think about that because it gives me the creeps and this isn't a scary story; it's a coming of age story! Oh yeah! I forgot to mention that Fatkid was rescued from the broom closet by the Asian kid, Bob. Bob and Fatkid become really good friends and enjoy a good flashback in the cafeteria to get everyone caught up on all of their shenanigans like the time they cheated on the male enhancement test and the time they had to do oral reports on cheap pottery. Then the twins ran around pretending to be each other but you could always tell which was which by the gross plaque that Prude had on her teeth and Skank didn't. It's really disgusting and I think that paints a pretty good portrait of them so I'll move on to the big dance finale! At the big graduation dance, the school caught fire and burned down. Unless it was destroyed by a giant snake instead. It was very exciting and initiated a new phase in all of their lives.

The End!

Rita and the Brotherhood of Evil wind up being blobby light creatures from a technological world creatively called Technis. They kidnap Cyborg because he's some kind of human/machine interface and they need him to wipe out a virus infecting their sister Zavior. One of the Technites has second thoughts about the kidnapping and remains behind to help the Titans travel to Technis for a four issue story arc that is going to completely suck. Meanwhile, Pantha continues to suffer the worst existential crisis in the history of sentient beings: is she a cat that became human or a human that became a cat?! My guess is she's a cat that became a human because she's too stupid to realize that, being created by Project Hybrid, her issue should be "Am I the offspring of a cat that fucked a human or a human that fucked a cat?!" Oh wait. That's the same thing. Anyway, Pantha should buy a dictionary. New Titans #103 Rating: Boring. It was a Cyborg issue! And the only thing more boring than a Cyborg story is a Cyborg story where he isn't brain dead. So this Cyborg story was actually a bit better than the usual ones. Plus Pantha freaking out about not knowing if she's a cat or a human was lamer drama than that found in any episode of CW's Arrow. P.S. The Letters Page! Ingrid Nuernberg substantiates my claim that Titans is nothing but a melodrama when she writes, "The current story arc is better than any soap opera." But she isn't criticizing the comic book! She's actually praising it! Weirdo. All of the letters were in regard to Issue #100 and not one of them mentioned the rape of Starfire by Raven. Although Johnathan Mark Campa of Glendale, California, had this to say, "...the lip-lock between Raven and Kory (HOT STUFF)...". I feel you, Johnathan! I hate when comic book artists draw the women so hot that you don't realize something terrible is happening in the story! How am I supposed to know I should feel shocked and horrified when I have a boner stirring in my pants?! You know how many dead heroes I've jerked off to?! Stupid artists! Make terrible things look terrible so I stop acting terribly!

[yetanotherbuffyblog]

Oz is back! At the worst possible time.

I’ve got good news! Through Inter-Library Loan, I’ve finally picked up the final book of the Obsidian and Blood trilogy! And it’s got a cool title: Master of the House of Darts.

Anyhow.

Willow is officially out of the closet.

And I must say I liked this episode a lot more than the last one, in part because it advanced the actual plot and made it look like we’re actually going somewhere.

So Willow and Tara are getting somewhat serious. Tara is talking about the two of them adopting a cat, and she’s been hanging out with the group more and more. They have one of the Scooby meetings to point out that absolutely nothing is happening on Buffy’s patrols (though Riley says the Initiative is bagging more and more monsters), when Oz shows up.

Yup.

Oz is back, he’s apparently been around the world and learned in Tibet how to suppress his lycanthropy during a full moon. And now that he’s in town, he wants to get back with Willow, who was the reason he went on this quest anyways. And since Xander told Oz that Willow isn’t seeing a new guy, he assumes that Willow’s available. So of course there’s awkwardness as Willow now has feelings for Tara, and Tara feels as if she’s just in the way of Willow being happy with Oz, so everyone’s a nervous wreck.

It’s when Willow discusses the mess with Buffy that Buffy realizes that Willow’s in love with Tara.

But this isn’t just a soap opera, so a squad from the Initiative is attacked by some fuzzy monster. And Riley’s skeptical of the idea of anyone dating a werewolf, which leads to a conversation about him thinking all monsters are bad, and Buffy’s emotional about this because Oz is her friend but also Angel.

Oh and Spike is approached by Adam. See Adam wants his help with something, and it involves pretending to help the Slayer, and in return Adam promises to remove the chip from Spike’s head that prevents him from feeding on people. Spike agrees.

When Oz finds out that Tara and Willow are a thing (he meets Tara in the hallway and realizes Willow’s scent is all over her), he gets very emotional, and actually wolfs out--in the day. In a hallway of the college. Tara runs away, but werewolf Oz is captured by the Initiative.

Riley wants to kill him, but when he morphs back into Oz, Riley reconsiders his whole position, and tells them to stop being dickish. The rest of the Initiative wants to keep running experiments on him though, and they do so, showing how if they taze him he turns back into a werewolf. Because this is what happens when you let the government do stuff.

I was going somewhere that wasn’t an anti-government rant…

Oh right so while Riley is being detained for having questionable loyalty, told he’s a traitor to the US government if he doesn’t stay in line. Buffy and the Scoobs work on a plan to break out Oz. But just then Spike shows up and offers to help them sneak in the back. So they do that. They break out Riley too, who defects from the Initiative.

Oz decides that his werewolf-ism is often activated by his feelings for Willow, so he buzzes off. And now Willow and Tara are together, yay.

Notes!

-Alright Spike is right, Giles, please lock your door. This is Sunnydale. It’s not quite Gotham levels of bad, but it’s not a good place either.

-I’m going to take this opportunity to say how much I hate the look of werewolves on this show? They don’t look wolfish. Or canine really, at all. They just look like fuzzy people in grumpy masks. It’s worse than the Supernatural werewolves, I think, because we had decent suits when the show started.

-Okay, Joss, you’re telling me that in less than a year, Oz has been to Mexico, went across the ocean to Tibet, and mastered some form of meditation or calmness or spiritual juju that represses his lycanthropy? I...no, I don’t really buy that. I would think something along those lines would take much longer to master, and it’d take more than a few months for Oz to even find someone who was willing to teach him that. Stephen Strange only found the Ancient One as quickly as he did because he was a world-renowned surgeon with connections and was able to look up a miraculous recovery, which he used to find a guy to get a reference to the Ancient One. I know maybe we’re supposed to believe that Oz is just so chill of a guy that it wasn’t hard for him, but...nah, I think that’s a bit lazy.

I would have been more open to the idea if he’d gone out east and found a group of other werewolves who taught it to him, like when Ruby is taught how to control her wolf form in Once Upon a Time?

Holy Father Francis I just used OUaT for a positive example.

-Right also, I was kind of surprised Buffy didn’t know about Willow and Tara? Because Faith picked up on it instantly, though I guess Willow didn’t introduce Tara to Buffy the same way that she did to Faith. And when this came out [checks release date] 2000? Really? That’s almost twenty years ago now. I’m old…

--but yes, there were a lot less people out of the closet? No, that’s not the right way to put it, but there were a lot less people who were in homosexual relationships and accepted by the public. It’s not out of the question that it simply didn’t occur to Buffy that Willow might be romantically or sexually interested in another woman, especially considering her previous relationship with Oz. It also didn’t occur to Xander, who went ahead and told Oz that Willow wasn’t seeing anyone.

-Initiative has a newish leader guy? He may have come in during a previous episode and I just didn’t care enough to mention. Standard military douchebag. He says he’s going to court martial Riley and all.

-Hey how did the college explain Maggie Walsh’s death? Or replace her? Or anything like that???

-Oz’s outburst on Tara was meant to evoke that his werewolfism was kicking in, due to envy, and it clearly doesn’t seem like it’s meant to be homophobic, but it was also really dickish, yeah? Chill dude. He’s upset that no one told him about Tara, which is a big detail to leave out, but it’d be difficult for Willow to cope with everything and it’s only been like 24 hours man.

-Raise your hand if you think Adam is planning to double-cross Spike! I mean I’m sure he’ll remove that chip from his head, but I imagine it’ll be by ripping his head open and breaking his skull.

Spike: So you help me and you get this chip out of my head? Adam: Scout's honor. Spike: You were a boy scout? Adam: Parts of me.

Yeah that inspires confidence.

-Buffy decides it’s about time to tell Riley about Angel. Which makes sense, as this episode has him getting over his issues of seeing monsters as always being subhuman.  And also breaking away from the Initiative, so it’s not like he can report it to them.

-If Tara and Willow got a cat, what would that mean for that one witch girl who was turned into a rat? Is she still around?

-If it wasn’t Oz who attacked the Initiative patrol, what was it? Was that ever resolved?

-Adam can apparently hack Initiative security. Because why not?

-When they’re getting out the Initiative, they take captives, and Buffy is pointing a crossbow at someone’s head and we get this treasure:

Buffy: Stay back or I'll do a William Burroughs on your leader here! [everyone looks blank] Xander: You'll... bore him to death with free prose? Buffy: Was I the only one awake in English class that day? I'll. Kill. Him.

For reference, writer William S. Burroughs accidentally killed his wife by shooting her in the head while drunkenly playing a game of ‘William Tell’ (that is, trying to shoot an apple off of the top of someone’s head).

-The episode ends with Tara and Willow officially together. Which, I mean, it’s about time.

[we-pay-for-everything]

Bangel, obviously! :)

The meme has 30 questions! Am I to answer all of them?! 

Alright, challenge accepted! This is the longest ask ever! Brace yourselves :P

1. Who is the most affectionate?

Angel actually. He’s more likely to initiate hugs, and give little forehead kisses. He’s always trying to comfort Buffy. 

2. Big spoon/Little spoon?

Angel is the big spoon I think, but I can imagine Buffy sliding up against him in bed, and wrap herself around him.

3. Most common argument?

Buffy insists that she is fine with their relationship, but Angel keeps being a Debby Drowner about it. He’s insecure that he isn’t enough for her. 

4. Favorite non-sexual activity?

It’s a tie between deeply sexual sparring and intense cuddly. The key words here are sexual tension, lots of it.

5. Who is most likely to carry the other?

Angel, but Buffy carries most of Angel’s weight when he can’t walk by himself.

6. What is their favorite feature of their partner’s?

Buffy loves Angel’s hair the most. She loves running her hands through it and tugging at it. Angel loves Buffy’s smile the most. He loves how radiant and full of light it is. It makes him smile too.

7. What’s the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other?

Angel becomes more insecure and vulnerable, dropping the mysterious act. It becomes obvious that he has no idea what he’s doing lol. Buffy becomes a bit more flirty. She likes ruffling his feathers. 

8. Nicknames? & if so, how did they originate?

Angel doesn’t do nicknames. He literally calls him son “son” lol. But Buffy likes to call Angel “honey”, because Angel’s her honey

9. Who worries the most?

Mr. Broody Pants obviously! His scowl becomes more scowl-y than usual :)

10. Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant?

Both of them because they’re so into each other! However, Angel doesn’t eat anything so… he might order something Buffy likes, just to blend in!

11. Who tops?

Both of them *saucy wink* They alternate! Buffy when she’s being feisty, Angel for the tender loving.

12. Who initiates kisses?

Both, but Buffy is more likely. She can’t keep her mouth off of Angel. Every time she sees him, within minutes she’s mauling him. Not that he minds!

13. Who reaches for the other’s hand first?

Buffy initiates the hand holding usually. 

14. Who kisses the hardest?

They are both equally passionate, but Buffy gets carried away more easily, running her hands all over Angel and kissing him hard.

15. Who wakes up first?

Angel. His sleep is more troubled. 

16. Who wants to stay in bed just a little longer?

Buffy! Especially if it’s to cuddle :)

17. Who says I love you first?

Buffy said it first, because Angel struggles more with his emotions, but Angel says it more often, because loving her is just part of who he is.

18. Who leaves little notes in the other’s one lunch? (Bonus: what does it usually say?)

Buffy! She leaves a note next to Angel’s blood bag. It’s usually some pun or her making fun of Angel for being a vampire :)

19. Who tells their family/friends about their relationship first?

Buffy. Angel doesn’t have any family, and Buffy loves to gush to Willow about Angel’s cuteness. 

20. What do their family/friends think of their relationship?

It’s morally reprehensible, but they just want to see Buffy and Angel happy!

21. Who is more likely to start dancing with the other?

Buffy! Angel does not like to dance… in public :P

22. Who cooks more/who is better at cooking?

Angel. Buffy can’t cook to save her life, but Angel picked it up because it makes him feel more human. Now though, he cooks for Buffy because he likes to take care of her. 

23. Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines?

Buffy! She’s the queen of puns. Angel is inadvertently cheesy though lol.

24. Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear during inappropriate times?

Buffy. She loves to tease Angel and embarrass him. Angel is no saint though. He has a very naughty side that he only shares with Buffy!

25. Who needs more assurance?

Both. Buffy needs to be reminded that it’s okay not to be perfect and to just be a girl. She’s more vocal about this need and Angel does his best to comfort her. Angel needs assurance too though, but he won’t admit it, so Buffy tries to assure him in small, affectionate ways. 

26. What would be their theme song?

They already have a perfect theme song. I can’t come up with a better one!

27. Who would sing to their child back to sleep?

Both. Buffy would sing more loudly, though she can’t sing at all! But Angel would do it when Buffy wasn’t looking :P He’d sing some Irish lullabies though he can’t sing that well either! 

28. What do they do when they’re away from each other?

Miss each other! Angel would brood a ton, and read poetry, whilst Buffy would kick some demon ass. 

29. one headcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart

From time to time, Buffy takes out Angel’s leather jacket and the necklace he gave her, and wears it in the privacy of her room. She does this when she wants to remember their time together or when she can’t stop thinking about the love of her life and simpler times. 

30. one headcanon about this OTP that mends it

They will always love each other and be in each others’ hearts and minds. No amount of time can change this. They will find their way back to one another in the end, somehow. 

Aaaand, I’m done! This was the longest ask I’ve ever answered!

Do you agree Mylie? Feel free to comment and add stuff. Thanks for the ask :) You’re very sweet! 

[sulietsexual]

Angel the Series - Reunion and Origin? And SPN - Houses of the Holy and Fresh Blood?

Nonnie, I gotta be honest with you, Houses of the Holy andFresh Blood are episodes I tend to skip when re-watching, as I find bothepisodes a bit dull. Honestly, I can barely even remember what happens ineither, only that the first has some preacher who believes he’s an angel andthe latter has Gordon turned into a vampire (which was a nice bit of poeticjustice). But I don’t really have a strong opinion on either. However, I’vewritten you some nice, long meta on both AtS episodes, so hopefully that makesup for my lack of opinion on the SPN eps.

Reunion

Shortopinion: Angel’s been a baaaad boy.

Longopinion: Who doesn’t love Reunion? It’s such agreat episode, narratively and thematically, bringing the Darla storyline tothe boiling point and showcasing just how far W&H have pushed Angel. Thisepisode marks Angel’s start of darkness and underlines what I’ve always stated– that Angel himself has capacity for great and deep darkness and that is why Angelus is so sadistic,because Angelus is Angel without the control of a soul.

The opening scene of this episode has Angel near breakingpoint, babbling and incoherent, horrified at the events he had just been forcedto witness and desperate to save Darla. I’ve written previously about theeffect Darla’s return has on Angel, the emotional marathon he goes throughbecause of it, and the way human Darla completely messes with his state ofmind. Which, of course, was always the point. W&H always planned to have Darla turned into a vampire, not only tofurther torment Angel but to push him into going Dark Side. The original planwas for him to turn her, but whenthat fell through, they had her turned infront of him (make no mistake, that was deliberate, an extra touch oftorture, forcing Angel to watch Drusilla drain Darla while he could do nothingto stop it). And it works, Angel almost loses his mind in the aftermath, sotormented by failing Darla that he is determined to kill her before she canrise again as a monster.

However, he’s tripped up by the fact that he no longer sees Darla as a monster. His experienceswith her as a human have left him unable to distinguish between Darla with asoul and Darla as a vampire, which is why he hesitates when he has the chanceto stake her. Things are no longer black and white, Darla has become someonereal to him, someone whom he cares about. The torture she and W&H put himthrough has left him confused and torn between his feelings for her and theknowledge that she is too dangerous to be allowed to live as a vampire.

Darla, meanwhile, is in a state of utter confusion andhelplessness at first, having risen for a second time and with the memory ofbeing human so new and fresh. Due to the fact that as a human she had actuallyaccepted her death and let go of her desire to be turned, she is at first furious at finding herself a vampireonce more, taking her frustration and rage out on Drusilla, who is now hersire. Her tormented cry of “Why?!”really resonates, showcasing just how conflicted she is regarding her siring.Drusilla’s tearful reply of “It’s what you wanted” seems to bring Darla back toearth, and the demon’s nature takes over, allowing her to feed off a nearbyhuman and prompting Drusilla’s delighted “You’re all new again!”. However, asthe next episode shows, the confliction Darla feels due to being so recentlyhuman has not entirely been resolved and is a driving factor in a lot of heractions for the remainder of the season.

The climax of this episode has Angel crossing a line which hethen has a hard time coming back from, but it’s hard to blame Angel for his actions,as they are a direct result of the torment W&H have put him through in thepreceding months. I actually think that in-Universe Angel is treated tooharshly regarding his actions over the latter half of the season, as W&Hhave basically been torturing him through Darla for the entire first half ofthe season, and he pretty much reaches his breaking point. Closing the lawyersin with Darla and Drusilla was a result of that torture, and pretty much gavethe W&H team exactly what they deserved.

Now, firing Wes, Gunn and Cordy was a pretty shitty move but,once again, there is a deeper reason going on. I’ve spoken about this in anearlier meta. Angel knows that he needs to kill Darla and normally this wouldnot be an issues (we see him kill her with ease in BtVS Season 1, when Buffy’slife was in danger). However, Darla is no longer just a soulless monster. He has known her as human now. He hascared for her, loved her, offered to die for her. He has connected with her ona level he never expected to and so, in order to kill her, he needs to becomedark. He needs to cut himself off from his own emotions, become cold andcalculated and access the Angelus part of his personality. And he cannot do that while Cordy, Wes and Gunnare around because they are his link to humanity. They are who keep him feelinghuman, able to suppress and control Angelus, able to function in the humanworld and feel and experience emotions such as love, compassion and empathy. Heneeded to get rid of them to become dark enough, to become cut off enough tonot only kill Darla but take down Wolfram & Hart. And while that sucks for Cordy, Wes and Gunn, it was anecessary step Angel needed to take.

All up, this is an amazing episode, opening up new threadswhile tying together old ones. The return of Vamp!Darla is awesome and watchingher and Drusilla get up to all sorts of evil hi-jinks is always fun, if a littlemacabre. Angel gets some great characterisation and the start of a new, albeitdarker path. It’s easy to see why this episode makes IMDB Top 10 highest ratedepisodes of AtS.

Origin

Shortopinion: Cries forever because Connor and Angel.

Longopinion: This episode – like all Connor/Angelepisodes – kills me, but this one especially so because we actually get to seeConnor and Angel interact without animosity or hatred or resentment and Connor doesn’t remember who Angel is.Excuse me, I have to go cry for twenty years, because this relationship turnsme into a blubbering mess every time I talk about it. But seriously, this is agreat episode, which once again showcases what a victim of his circumstancesConnor was and how he would haveturned out fine, had Holtz not stolen him as an infant.

Angel’s interactions with Connor in this episode are funny,sweet and absolutely heartbreaking, as he struggles to maintain a neutral frontwith Connor and not let anything suspicious slip. The helplessness on his facewhen he first sees Connor at Wolfram & Hart is heartbreaking, as he looks so shaken and devastated. Angel neverexpected to see his son again, so when Connor shows up on his doorstep, hisfirst impulse is to turn him away, to make sure that Connor stays as far awayfrom his world as possible. He gave up Connor to protect him and has everyintention of making sure that sacrifice wasn’t for nothing.

Of course there are bigger forces at play here, and Angel isforced to allow Connor back into his world, first saving him from the demonswho attacked him and his family and then bringing him back to W&H to train.Angel tries his best not to get emotionally involved but as this is his son, he inevitably ends up gettingcaught up in interacting with Connor. It’s so cute to watch the two actuallytalk freely and without animosity and it’s especiallyendearing how impressive Connor finds Angel, admiring his fighting movesand eagerly asking him what it’s like to be a vampire. Angel, in turn, justlights up around his son, obviously thrilled at spending time with him, butheartbreakingly reminded time and again that Connor is no longer his, such aswhen he first saves Connor’s family from Veil’s demons and Connorenthusiastically remarks on Angel’s moves, before rushing to his father,exclaiming “Dad!”. The look of sorrow on Angel’s face is almost too much totake.

Through this episode and Connor’s well-adjusted persona, theaudience gets to see a different Connor, a Connor without trauma, without pain,a Connor who was never taken through a portal, who didn’t hold his dying fatherin his arms, who wasn’t manipulated by Holtz or Faux!Cordy, who was never rapedor tormented, who didn’t live the life which was originally his. And he is agreat kid. He’s smart and funny and has a good head on his shoulders. He’s alsofair and stands up for his family. He tells Angel that he’s not a bully andwants a fair fight, but is also smart enough to know that he needs help. Hisinitial interactions with Sahjhan are hilarious,especially his polite “There’s some weapons here, if you want” line, completewith considerate gesture. Of course, once the memory cube gets broken we havethat glorious shot of the old Connor,rising to meet his opponent, blood on his face and the classic Connor sneer onhis face.

Of course I can’t talk about the cube being broken withouttaking time out from my Angel/Connor heartbreak to rage about Wes and his ridiculously selfish and self-indulgentattitude in regards to Fred’s death. This episode underlines, once again, howobsessive, selfish and gross Wesley is when it comes to his feelings for Fred,even after her death. He doesn’t give a shitabout Angel’s warnings, doesn’t even contemplate that Angel might have hadreasons for signing a contract with W&H, no, he just assumes the worst of aman (vampire) whom he has trusted and respected for years and decides that Angeltraded Fred’s life for his son’s (like, honestly, why the fuck would he assume that?!) and smashes the cube with noregards to what it will do to anyone, only caring about his own grief and pain.

You know, I don’t think there’s a character out there who Ilove and hate in equal measure as much as Wesley. Give me Season 1 Wes, awkwardand mildly sexist but who tries and fumbles and falls and is always striving tobe his best self, or Season 2 Wes, slowly settling into his role within AngelInvestigations, growing in confidence, able to take the reins when he, Gunn andCordy break away from Angel. But don’t give me Seasons 4 or 5 Wes, arrogant andmisogynistic, selfish in his grief, screwing everyone over because he can,treating women like shit and believing he’s right in doing so. God I hate laterseasons Wes. But I digress.

The real emotional crux of this episode comes in the finalfew minutes, with Connor visiting Angel to say goodbye. Those final two lines “Yougotta do what you can to protect your family. I learned that from my father” absolutely kill me, because theytell the audience that not only has Connor regained his memories, he understands why Angel chose to remove themin the first place. That final line is so powerful and it gives Angel hope,hope that one day he might be able to know his son, to be a part of his life. Itwas the most beautiful and fitting way to end the episode, finishing on abittersweet note and giving hope to Angel and the audience.

Now excuse me, I have to go cry forever *ugly sobbing because Angel loves his son more than anything in theworld*

[kevoreally]

#BuffyAt20 - S03E07 “Revelations”

Wow so this is the first time I’ve been able to do my #BuffyAt20 on the actual date all season! Been a hectic couple of months. And what an episode to be caught up for! Let’s dive in.

> There’s way more Dingoes this season than I remember there being the last time I watched.

> Oh god I forgot it was this teaser. “Oh it’s so crowded, why won’t Xander go near Willow?” Aren’t jokes about cheating in front of your partner funny?

> No one gets it when I say “I’m here through Saturday, enjoy the veal.”

> I love Willow noticing Buffy is acting strange.

> Cordelia almost comes across as empathetic in this scene, talking about Buffy’s trauma, except for the horrifying phraseology.

> I’m guessing Buffy/Faith shippers loved the “really, we’re just good friends” bit in this teaser?

> The look on Giles’s face when Gwendolyn says she’s the new Watcher, you have to assume some part of him wonders “Is this finally it? Am I finally fired?”

> Can I take like five seconds to talk about how great this show was? Like, it was serious but never hyper-dramatic, funny but not over-silly. It paved the way for so many teen-aimed sci-fi/fantasy series we have today. I just love it.

> I love that Eliza got an “as Faith” on her credit.

> WHY WOULD GILES NEED THE LABYRINTH MAPS OF MALTA WHEN HE LIVES IN SUNNYDALE?

> “Hmm. academic probation’s not so funny today, huh, Giles?” Forever loving that moment.

> This woman is such a beautiful sociopath. She literally gives Giles five seconds to produce an image of demon she just mentioned before belittling him. If he was thinking rationally, he would recognize that she was being impossible, but she’s got him so frazzled that he’s just getting more and more agitated. This woman should have been a recurring villain who teamed up with Ethan Rayne.

> 12 cemeteries in Sunnydale?? Dayumn!

> “Interesting lady. Can we kill her?” “I think the Council might frown upon that.” is another exchange that made its way into my vernacular.

> Huh! Same “Thai Chi” theme this week that was introduced last week in “Band Candy.” Not a complaint.

> Oh good lord, Angel, you knew coming near her was a bad idea.

> And Buffy’s the one to pull away. Gosh, she’s just so strong. He’s so friggin’ weak.

> I gotta say, the difference between Buffy and Twilight is at least Buffy doesn’t try to pretend that the protagonist is some plain blah who people are all bizarrely attracted to. Buffy’s outside matches her inside - she’s pretty freaking gorgeous.

> Okay, Giles still hasn’t found info about Lagos hours later? That’s pretty fail there, Giles.

> I don’t find Xander’s “you’re not the Watcher of me” jab as annoying as I usually would, he’s already starting to soften. And Giles’s “then go home” is both fair and soft. Great exchange all around.

> Hey, Xander actually did stop during a speech about “no means no.” Mitigated by Willow then grabbing and kissing him, but it’s something.

> As an enormous Christophe Beck fan, I don’t even like the Xillow music theme. That’s how much I hate everything about this story and like to pretend it never happened.

> There’s some Faith spin-off book that shows all the boyfriends Faith mentions in this scene. Just a note.

> I don’t find the “life with Angel is - was complicated” slip to be as sloppy as I’d normally find stuff like that. The wound is still fresh. Makes some amount of sense.

> Is this, like, the first time we’re seeing Faith get her own scene without any of our regulars in it? Apart from her ragging on Scott in “Homecoming,” I think it might be. Interesting.

> And of course it’s Xander who first learns Angel is back FROM SEEING HIM AND BUFFY MAKE OUT. That really feels like a Season 2 idea that they kept but Xander had grown beyond by now. I really get no jealousy over Buffy and Angel from his character anymore, so all of this stuff making him an antagonist to them feels very forced.

> I really wonder who initiated this first re-kiss between Buffy and Angel. It was very smart to never show us.

> Ooh, actually, the way they take makes it sound very much like Angel did it. Yet they never showed us that. Very interesting choice.

> Also I always forget that Angel hadn’t shown her the Glove yet. In my head, I always make it that they’re celebrating him finding it. So, what, she showed up and he just went for it? HOW DID THEY GET THERE?

> “A person slips up on the little things and suddenly everything’s gone to hell in a handbasket.” She’s belittling Giles for every minor thing he’s doing wrong while he’s missing the most glaring minor thing he’s forgotten to do: CHECK WITH THE COUNCIL.

> You know, if anything, it makes sense that he wouldn’t want to check with the Council the more she belittles him. She’s the voice of the Council right now. Reaching out to them would mean hearing it from more people. GOSH, why am I fascinated by this episode today??

> Written by Doug Petrie, by the way. His first!

> I appreciate that they didn’t go for a joke of Giles shouting “WHAT?” or something while Xander is whispering in front of Post. That would have made him look really bad.

> They’ve literally set up an intervention circle for her, this scene is so intense.

> Cordelia hasn’t even spoken yet and I’m already dreading it.

> “I feel worried - about me!” Oh right, there it is.

> I love Willow in this scene. I always think about her during arguments when I try to focus on “I -” Statements.

> “But you were kissing him.” Oh Oz. But y’know, he says it so non-confrontationally. It’s a statement of fact. Making sure to say it before anyone else can lob it like a weapon, too.

> “I think lots of dead people actually constitutes a reason.” I’m, like, surprisingly pretty on board with Xander in this scene. I think he’s being a little more spiky than he needs to be but I know I do the same.

> I love Giles deescalating the scene. I forgot he does that, and he does it SO well.

> Oh but then Buffy thinks he’s on her side. Dude, NO.

> I really appreciate Giles not weaponizing Jenny’s death against Buffy in this scene here in his office. He comes pretty hard but he is entitled to go so much harder, honestly.

> “Vampires rarely knock. Especially in daylight.” No but really, Faith.

> “Wild stab, a bunch of guys from Spart?” Lol. Also this was where I and most of my friends first learned about the Spartans.

> Gwendolyn offers to train with Faith but then we don’t see it. I find it hard to picture this granny-ishly dressed woman doing physical training. But maybe that’s me.

> Willow works so hard to keep her friendship with Buffy normal over the years, it makes Buffy’s instant acceptance of Willow on her return from England in Season 7 all the more lovely.

> This pool scene where Xander talks about killing Angel was in the commercial. So was Faith saying it in the Library later.

> See, she hasn’t even changed her clothes! How did she train in that skirt??

> Does Gwendolyn Post ever change her clothes in this entire episode…?

> I can’t remember if I was surprised that Post turned out to be evil. Probably not.

> Willow making Buffy’s pain about cheating on her own boyfriend with their best friend right now is pretty gross.

> Also, asking if the secrecy made it sexier is a weird level of psychology to give Willow at this point in her character’s journey.

> I actually wish Willow had told Buffy about her and Xander here. It’s the obvious choice to make Buffy remain in the dark but imagine the dynamic if Buffy becomes the only other person who knew. Maybe Willow doesn’t even tell Xander that Buffy knows. Hm.

> Willow’s little cheer-dance when Buffy slays the demon is what this show is truly about.

> Xander and I have similar taste in weapons.

> Also Xander slowing down and realizing Angel can’t have done this is a big moment for him, tbh.

> Omigod Buffy THROWING THE SWORD away when she sees the cops is hilarious.

> Do you think the reason these EMTs are so testy is because they’re constantly being called to this location?

> Oh and here Xander ruins that moment of earlier growth by being a child at Buffy. At least Willow’s not having any of it. She knows what’s up: always follow Buffy.

> Okay, maybe Gweny can throw down in that skirt after all, with the way she turns that shove into a stake.

> “I can’t believe how much I’m gonna kill you.” “You’re not gettin’ that glove.” Wow. Angel and Faith meeting for the first time. It’s wild how linked those characters have now become.

> Plus, Buffy sort of emotionlessly shutting Faith down when she’s trying to do good also sets an ongoing tone for these two.

> Fun fact: the Glove of Myhnegon is one of the game pieces in my self-made Buffy Monopoly.

> How many Buffy/Faith fights are there this season? 3? I think it’s here, “Enemies,” and “Graduation Day, Part I.” (Or is there even one in “Enemies”?)

> Stopping Willow must’ve been all the more cathartic for Xander after years of stuff like trying to stop Buffy and Faith from fighting only to get slapped into a wall.

> The lightning was supposed to take the form of a falcon and land on the glove and it was gonna be all this cool stuff, but it was 1998. That shit would’ve been expensive AF back then. They could probably do it now.

> Gosh, that one shot of Post using the Glove from the credits! Love it.

> Ugh, but then Buffy and Faith come together to stop her! So lovely.

> “Sounds like I missed a lot of fun.” That’s a really interesting choice, having the characters absent from the scene commenting on their absence. I don’t know why.

> Omigosh I just remembered the time I watched this episode on DVD with the French language track and English subtitles. Like. Just for the experience. ...It is not one that I repeated.

> “But I trust you.” “I don’t. Just for the record.” NO ONE CARES, CORDY.

> “They swear there was a memo” is one of my favorite commentaries on bureaucracy ever.

> Giles actually composes himself fairly well throughout all of the Angel stuff, I never really give him much credit.

> UGH. Okay, one of my least favorite things about the Buffy/Faith dynamic is how many times it feels like they should break new ground and don’t. Like here or Christmas. So annoying.

> LIKE THIS. “Buffy?” “Yeah?” “Nothing.” YOU DON’T NEED TO BE SISTERS, but would it have killed you to JUST say “thanks”? Ugh. This episode is portent for the fact that they were doomed to never connect, and it just makes me sad.

ON THAT NOTE. Next week is, on the one hand, a hilarious guest spot from Spike and, on the other hand, finally the awkward choking death of Xillow. Fun times all around!

[news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog]

Darlene may not be gay, but 'Roseanne' is still trying to push LGBTQ people forward

If you were a queer kid growing up in the '90s, there was one place you could turn to for support — your family your school Roseanne.

Remember, this was the pre-Drag Race era. Whatever you think of the show now, back then, the show was remarkably ahead of its time when it came to the LGBTQ community. Roseanne the character, whose friends included a bisexual woman and a gay man, sparked a feud with ABC when she became one of the first women to kiss another woman on air in 1994. 

Roseanne was one of the earliest shows on television to depict a gay wedding. And even though Darlene technically wasn't out as a lesbian, she became a gay icon for the haven't-yet-realized-they're-queer teen community. (As a member of this demo, I have yet to recover from my lingering resentment of David.)

20 years later, Roseanne now includes a gender creative child and with it, a critical conversation about gender identity, performance, and acceptance. It's a radical-ish historical moment, and it's happening in the medium we need it most — corny network TV.

SEE ALSO: Roseanne Conner wasn't always a Trump supporter in the 'Roseanne' revival

Listen. Given Roseanne the actress' wildly conspiratorial, fact-free views on Twitter, there's a very solid case to be made that the current show is doing more to normalize the Trump administration's transphobic and xenophobic worldview than subvert it. On a good day, Roseanne's views are deplorable, and on a bad day, they're dangerous. I'm not sure we need to reward someone who spent the past few years spouting anti-Muslim propaganda on Twitter with dozens of laudatory thinkpieces. *Nods head, points at self.*

Alas, here we are. Roseanne exists and with a full cast, only one of whom is a disciple of Trump on Twitter. The show's audience for its premiere was disproportionately rural and wealthy, much like Trump voters themselves. If Roseanne the show is able to access those voters, and teach them a lesson or two about accepting LGBTQ kids, I'd argue that it has real, positive cultural value — as much as it hurts me to type that.  

I wish I could say I'm overstating my case. But Roseanne was there for the gay community at a time when other shows were doing everything in their power to deny their existence. The show predated Will and Grace, Ellen, and Buffy's Tara and Willow. Back then, it was revolutionary to see any gay men on television who weren't dying, but were, in fact, falling in love. For so much of America, homosexuality was still synonymous with AIDS. Leon and Scott's 1995 wedding, blessed with male strippers and flamingo iconography, gave the community a full hour of hope, even if it was just on TV. 

Leon (Martin Mull) and Scott's (Fred Willard) 1995 wedding on 'Roseanne.'

Image: ABC via Getty Images

More progressive yet, Roseanne produced gay characters who defied emerging stereotypes. Take a look at this conversation between Roseanne and her gay boss Leon:

Leon: What if I’m not even gay? Roseanne: You couldn’t be any gayer if your name was Gay Gayerson. Leon: Think about it. I hate to shop, I’m positively insensitive, I detest Barbra Streisand, and, for God’s sake, I’m a Republican! Roseanne: But do you like having sex with men? Leon: Well… Roseanne: Gay!

Marla (Morgan Fairchild) and Nancy (Sandra Bernhard) share a kiss in 1996.

Image: ABC via Getty Images

Leon, Nancy (Sandra Bernhard), and Marla (Morgan Fairchild) were the show's principal queer characters. But queer teens latched onto the character of Darlene. Even though Darlene may not have been openly queer, she occupied what critics call a "gay-straight" space on the show. (For a more thorough dissection of Darlene, read Angela Watercutter's excellent treatment of the subject.) Darlene had all of the '90s queer signifiers — a masculine-of-center aesthetic, hostility towards authority, a sarcastic affect, artistic lit mag vibes, and a platonic boyfriend. (Darlene and David had sex? Give me a break.) She wasn't quite gay, but she certainly didn't perform straight, and that was something.

It was a radical artistic compromise for the time — just enough gender ambiguity to attract the alterna teens and queers, without quite alienating ad-buying lamestream America. 

So close to being gay, and yet ...

Image: ABC via Getty Images

Fast forward 20 years and Roseanne is still pushing the LGBTQ conversation forward on America's favorite family network, ABC. During the show's premiere, Roseanne and Dan confront Darlene with what they/I believe to be the truth: Darlene is gay.

"We already came to terms with the fact that you were gay,” Rosanne says, speaking of Darlene's childhood attire of basketball jerseys and shorts. 

Darlene dismisses the allegation, to the dismay of her Xennial gay goth fans. Still, the scene manages to teach something of a lesson: Whether it's that people can be straight and have a non-traditional gender presentation, or that coming out in 2018 is still super hard and many young people like Darlene live in denial. (For the purposes of my mental health, let's advance theory #2 as fact.)

And it's not just Darlene. The Roseanne reboot goes beyond sexual orientation to tackle thornier and more modern issues of gender identity. Darlene's own kid, Mark, is gender creative. He identifies with the gender he was assigned at birth and enjoys wearing girl's clothing, including pearls. (Mark, as a culture writer who wears her mother's sneakers, I'm not trying to shame you in any way, but pearls are a  sartorially questionable choice, regardless of your gender identity.)

Roseanne and Dan initially try to get Mark to change into more masculine pants. He refuses, so Dan gives him a knife to protect himself — which sounds like something writers think working-class guys do, not what they actually do. A school suspension follows. 30 minutes later, Mark has achieved total acceptance from his family — a process that takes most of us in the queer community years, if not our entire lives.

Roseanne's expanded new family includes a gender creative child.

Image: ABC via Getty Images

It's a radical moment on multiple levels. Not only does this family sitcom have a gender creative character, that character is deeply loved by his working class family. In 21st century America, queerness or gender nonconformity is still seen as a luxury identity. Working class people can't afford to deviate from the norm, the theory goes. Their families can't risk accepting them. Gayness has become synonymous with affluence, bigotry with the working class.

That's why shows like Roseanne and Queer Eye for the Straight Guy are so important, regardless of their bad dialogue. Both demonstrate that you don't have to have written your senior thesis on Judith Butler to be gay or memorized an Adrienne Rich poem to love queer people. Education is irrelevant. You just have to be kind. 

Of course these shows are fantasies. There's no way  that five gay men can change a straight man's life forever by teaching him to make a faux-gourmet hot dog. And I'm sorry, it takes longer than 24 hours for anyone to go from handing a gender creative kid a lethal weapon to embracing them fully. Trump voters like Roseanne the character (and Roseanne the actress) aren't known for welcoming trans people insomuch as denying their legal right to exist. These shows are limited by their show length and for Roseanne, especially, by their whiteness. 

That doesn't mean fantasy doesn't have cultural value. Queer Eye has been a remarkable critical success. Over 18 million people tuned in to watch Roseanne last Tuesday, making it the most highly viewed premiere of the 2017-2018 season. People are watching and listening, including people who haven't been friendly to the LGBTQ community. Let's hope they're learning something too.

And if, in between the facile cultural commentary, dismissive portrayals of progressive voters, and starchy narrative arcs, I can find something resembling compassion, I'll hold onto it — just like I did twenty years ago. We're living in the darkest of timelines. The bad men are in control. I know I'm not alone when I say I'll take empathy in any form, from any person, on whatever channel I can find it. 

WATCH: This 'gender-free' clothing store has fashion for anyone

[ettadunham]

A Buffy rewatch 3x19 Choices

aka everyone’s just dying to give each other a piece of their mind

Welcome to this dailyish text post series where I will rewatch an episode of Buffy and rant about it in 10-3k words. What you can expect: long run-on sentences and disjointed observations, often focused on one tiny detail about the episode. What you shouldn’t be expecting: actual reviews that make sense.

And I’ve been waiting forever for today’s episode to finally discuss some quality Willow and Faith feelings... And it turns out that it was just a 2-minute-scene all along? Still, we’ll be making the best out of those 2 minutes, folks.

There’s actually a lot going on in Choices, but I want to get the main rant out first, before I get lost in all the small details of it.

So... Willow and Faith.

Fun fact, did you know that that is actually the 5th most popular BtVS F/F pairing tag on Ao3? Right after the popular canon, the popular “it’s basically canon and you can fucking sue me” ship, the pairing of the two main female characters (shout out to the Wuffys, I got you) and the less popular canon ship.

Which... wasn’t really what I was expecting? I mean, I also wasn’t expecting #6 being Faith/Dawn (having a 2 fic-lead on the ultimate OTP because you’re all heathens), so I guess I know nothing.

Some of those switch though if you filter for the F/F category, look, I have charts:

(Meanwhile Buffy/Kendra has like 12 fics, you really are all heathens.)

Anywho, thanks for coming to my Ted talk about the math of Buffy femslash. Now, back to Willow and Faith specifically.

Once I thought about it, it did make sense that this is actually a popular fandom pairing I guess? On one hand, it’s a common denominator situation, as in note which characters pop up consistently on that chart... On the other hand, in this episode alone Willow taunts Faith to which she responds by punching her and threatening her with a knife... And that’s pretty much how foreplay works as far as Faith’s concerned.

Faith just likes it rough, okay? Remember the screencap I used for Consequences after Buffy punches her?

I rest my case.

But I’m already way off topic here. Because what I was actually planning on talking about initially was how Willow felt about Faith, and the source of those feelings.

I already pointed this out, but I feel it’s worth repeating - Willow’s dislike of Faith goes back to two episodes in particular: Bad Girls and Consequences. As far as I was able to discern this time during my rewatch, there were no previous signs of animosity between the two preceding that two-parter.

In Bad Girls, Buffy blows Willow off for their study session to go out with Faith, and starts rambling about how Willow and Xander wouldn’t understand anyway what she and Faith do.

Willow is deeply hurt and jealous... She actually blows Buffy off too in return when she tries talking to her at school in the next episode, and only listens once Buffy shows up crying at her doorstep not knowing what to do about the whole Faith killed a guy situation.

In the same episode, Xander lets it slip that he and Faith had sex... And Willow is once again obviously hurt and jealous. She even has a good cry about it in the bathroom.

And I guess that that seems like a stronger emotional response than how she reacts to Faith stealing away Buffy from her, but it’s still coming from the same place. Note her line in that episode when she acknowledges her biases:

I'm not the most objective, I know. I kind of have an issue with Faith sharing my people.

“Sharing my people” - she’s pointedly talking about both Xander and Buffy here.

And there is a specific kind of betrayal that she feels from Xander, and that’s going to translate to pretty much all of Xander’s relationship... But at this point, it’s not really about her wanting that relationship with Xander. She had the option and she rejected it.

Still, if Xander has that with someone else, that makes their shared experiences feel less special. It makes her feel like less special in his life. (Which unfortunately tracks with a lot of Xander’s behavior about how he’s always chasing the new, shiny and unattainable thing in his life.)

Meanwhile with Buffy, Willow is mostly supportive of her relationships... up until to the point that she feels like they’re taking up the space that she occupies in Buffy’s life. And that very much happens with Faith in those moments, as Buffy suddenly feels like she can’t share with Willow what she and Faith has. (I swear, I’m not even trying, these sentences just turn out this way.)

So... yeah. Willow is super pissed at Faith for having the audacity to try and take away her people from her, and then hurting the both of them.

And I guess we can see some of that same kind of jealousy with Faith (I can and I will read parallels into Willow and Faith’s characters, just you wait) and her whole thing with Buffy and Angel in Choices... Except it’s weirdly misdirected? Like is the Mayor and the show seriously trying to tell us that Faith is jealous about Angel not wanting to make out with her, when that whole thing was all about Buffy in the first place?

Really, Mayor Wilkins? Really?

Well, I guess he is evil.

Back to Willow though, we have this scene where she gets taken hostage, and after she murders her vampire guard with a pencil (amazing), she decides to get comfortable in the Mayor’s office and read through all 5 tomes of the Books of Ascension??? It’s such a delightful nonsense.

Of course, I’m definitely with her on the whole “knowledge is power” notion. Even if they were to prevent the Mayor from having this Box of MacGuffin, there’s no way to tell if that would actually stop the Ascension. But knowing what’s to come and what they could do about it? That’s a definite win.

The issue is that as Faith puts it, being caught red-handed while gaining that knowledge makes Willow some very strong murder material for the bad guys. She could’ve just put the books in a bag, and tried escaping with them, or get the hell out there the moment she discovered those sensitive pages.

But do you know what I think? I think Willow just wanted to have the chance to confront Faith. She was ready to die just to give her a piece of her mind.

Willow: It's way too late. You know, it didn't have to be this way. But you made your choice. I know you had a tough life. I know that some people think you had a lot of bad breaks. Well, boo hoo! Poor you. You know, you had a lot more in your life than some people. I mean, you had friends in your life like Buffy. Now you have no one. You were a Slayer and now you're nothing. You're just a big selfish, worthless waste.

That’s commitment.

Notice also how she highlights Faith having Buffy in her life and not appreciating it enough to keep fighting. I do feel like Willow is deeply offended by that. I talk about her jealousy a lot, but her commitment to the people she loves is usually her more dominant character trait. Feeling like Faith stole her friends from her hurt her; but her anger mostly comes from the fact that Faith hurt Buffy and Xander in unimaginable ways.

I guess this episode did give me a lot of Willow feelings.

Someone else who shared Willow’s need to impart some wisdom in the most inconvenient times was the Mayor. And honestly? I didn’t care a whole lot about it. Angel and Buffy has a million other conflicts that come before him being immortal.

Like, I get that it’s supposed to shake them out of their own little bubble a bit, and face the fact that they don’t really see a future together. I believe the phrasing I previously used was that being together prevents them from becoming the people they want to be.

Their initial exchange at the graveyard is kinda hilarious though. “You never take me to any place new” - I’m still laughing, ngl.

At the same time, Xander and Cordelia still appear to be having their bitter verbal conflicts. Which is weird, especially after Earshot, an episode that I praised for including Cordelia in the group once again. (I guess maybe Earshot was written with a different place in the season in mind for it initially? I know that it didn’t air when it was supposed to too, because of the school shooting aspect...)

Here, the two of them are once again out to get each other. Even Buffy ends up in the crossfires, as Cordelia aims one of her pointedly cruel jabs at her. Yikes.

But we also find out here that Cordelia is working in a dress shop now, so there’s that.

And this episode of course is also about everyone’s futures. Willow decides that despite being accepted into literally every school ever, she’s going to attend UC Sunnydale with Buffy. Not just to be with her, but because she enjoys saving the world and all that jazz.

Oh, Willow, if you only knew...

This of course also presents a welcome contrast for Buffy, who feels like she doesn’t have a choice but to stay in Sunnydale. It’s a really nice moment between them, as Buffy realizes herself that she too very much made that choice herself. Because that’s who Buffy is. Someone who could never turn her back on the people who need her.

Buffy:  I kinda love you.

We all do, Buffy. Just ask Oz, and his decisive ingredient smashing move that annihilated the whole argument about whether or not they should rescue Willow. (”That’s your future wife!” - me @ Alexis Denisof in that scene.)

Also, shout out at that whole Mission Impossible heist premise we got going on in this episode. I always appreciate a weird clash of genres.

[queerwomeninmedia-blog]

Moving Beyond Bury Your Gays: Queer Women in Television and Film from Glee to Today

When discussing queer women on television, the conversation has shifted in recent years. Originally, the most common topics of conversation would be Ellen DeGeneres' controversial coming out on her sitcom Ellen and the similarly controversial relationship between Willow Rosenberg and Tara Maclay which ended in Tara's death on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The death of Tara is just one of many examples of the bury your gays trope, which involves the death of a queer character, often seemingly as punishment for a subversive sexuality. Today, it seems as if we have begun to move past the use of this trope for queer woman on television, but the question remains as to how far we've really come in terms of representation?

Glee:

Often cited as a transformative moment in television history, including its citation in various timelines of how pop culture changed the political landscape that allowed for the ruling in the Obergefell v. Hodges case which legalized same sex marriage in all fifty states, Glee premiered in 2009. The most oft referenced queer character on the show is the young gay man Kurt Hummel, but beyond his character, there are two queer women who were presented on the show, Santana Lopez and Brittany Pierce. While Kurt's coming out was a central plotline on the show, warranting its own episode where he was able to come out to his father, bisexual Brittany was never given the opportunity to come out-and was never allowed to say the word bisexual, instead being given tongue in cheek colloquialisms like bilingual and bicurious-and Santana's coming out as a lesbian was shoehorned into a male savior storyline where quarterback Finn Hudson attempted to "save her" from herself as she struggled with her sexuality. In the episode “I Kissed a Girl,” named after the Katy Perry song about a heterosexual woman having a "gay" experience, Santana comes to terms with being outed by Finn, but never once in the episode is she allowed to converse with her girlfriend Brittany, and instead is subjected to a bunch of her "friends" singing "lady music" to her while she is forced to listen. The only moment of her genuinely being able to embrace her sexuality without a male influence comes when she speaks to her grandmother-and is subsequently disowned by her, which is hardly the same happy ending Kurt was given when he was embraced by his father and his friends and was given his own sense of agency in his story. Even when it comes time for her to sing her own song during "Lady Music Week," she shares the lead vocals with Kurt and guest star Idina Menzel, instead of giving her an opportunity to shine in an episode that is supposed to be about her. Years later, after Santana and Brittany were given only a few scenes together-and Santana, having broken up with Brittany, worries about bisexual women "straying for penis"-they are finally given a wedding storyline, which seems to be the happy ending that queer women watching the show could hope for. But instead of giving them their moment in the sun, in a last-minute plot twist, Kurt and his ex-boyfriend Blaine decide to get married with them, once again proving that it is impossible on Glee for queer women to be given the A-plot of an episode without the inclusion of men. Additionally, in the series finale, Santana and Brittany are among the only main characters not given a closing arc, proving that it was easy for showrunners to ignore their queer female characters in a big way. Despite this though, it is still relevant to note that the Huffington Post claimed that Glee’s queer female representation was something that would not have been seen on television ten years prior.

Grey’s Anatomy:

One of the most critically acclaimed queer female characters on television is Dr. Callie Torres, played by Sara Ramirez, on Grey's Anatomy. Initially introduced as a nemesis for Katherine Heigl's Dr. Izzy Stevens and a love interest for George O'Malley, Callie's role expanded far beyond that, and her subsequent relationships with Erica Hahn and Arizona Robbins gave her a storyline all her own. Where Glee sidelined their queer female characters in favor of male stories, Grey's allowed them to shine. Often a taboo statement, especially on network television, Callie has repeatedly been allowed to express her bisexuality, and take issue with others who don't believe that there is a B in LGBT. In the season six episode "Invasion," airing just as Glee began its regular run, Callie's religious father brings a priest to "pray away the gay," but it is her girlfriend Arizona who convinces her to sit down and have a conversation with her father because she has loved men her whole life and it is an adjustment for him as well. Callie's relationship with Arizona progresses, up until the point where Arizona plans to move to Africa, and after they break up, Callie sleeping with her male best friend Mark Sloan does not negate her queer sexuality and is handled deftly when Arizona returns to find a pregnant Callie. Eventually, Callie and Arizona are given the opportunity to marry, though it is notable that heterosexual couple Meredith Grey and Derek Shepard get married on a Post-It at the same time their wedding ceremony is going on. Unlike Glee though, this Post-It wedding does not overshadow the brides, and they are given the beautiful wedding ceremony that queer female fans hoped to see. Subverting the bury your gays trope, when a plane crash kills several doctors from Seattle Grace hospital, and Arizona is on board, she does not die. Instead, she loses her leg, and marital difficulties between Callie and Arizona occur, ultimately leading up to Arizona's infidelity, which is common on Grey's Anatomy, and does not simply occur because the women are queer. After Callie and Arizona's divorce, Grey's continued to handle LGBT issues with care, devoting a whole story arc to a custody battle between the two women for their daughter Sofia-who Callie was the biological mother of, but Arizona believed she had rights to custody of her when Callie decided to move to New York. Ultimately, Grey's made a radical choice by granting custody to Arizona and solidified itself as one of the foremost examples of LGBT representation on television…but then Sara Ramirez exited the show. In the time since she left, Arizona floundered in relationships, and then just last month, it was announced that Jessica Capshaw, the actress who plays Arizona, would be leaving the show. With that revelation, Grey's Anatomy went from having some of the best queer female representation on television to quickly having none, and this represents a trend of queer women being underrepresented on television, while straight characters, and even gay men, have an abundance.

Carol:

In 2015, one of the most critically acclaimed movies of the year was the film Carol, which was based on Patricia Highsmith's lesbian novel The Price of Salt. Carol is centered around Carol Aird and Therese Belivet and is set at Christmastime in 1952. The two women meet in a department store, and a forbidden love affair ensues. Unlike many lesbian love stories, Carol avoids the male gaze, shooting even the love scenes between them from a more sensitive perspective. But even considering that, Carol does center around a male driven plot, where two men present the obstacles for Carol and Therese to be together. For Therese, the obstacle is Richard, her boyfriend who wants them to travel to Europe together and eventually marry. When she meets Carol though, all of that is complicated by her increasingly intense feelings for the older woman. Even more central to the plot is Carol's divorce from her husband Harge. It is heavily implied throughout the movie that Therese is not Carol's first female lover, but as was typical in a time of little to no acceptance for homosexuality, Harge attempts to have Carol deemed as an unfit mother for their daughter Rindy. Even the private investigator hired by Harge is male, and with the exception of Carol's best friend Abby, the remainder of the main cast is male. The story becomes heavily women versus the patriarchy, when Carol and Therese attempt to be together, and even their meeting again for the first time after breaking up is thwarted by a male colleague of Therese's. While Carol and Therese are given the A-plot of the movie, their story could not occur in this incarnation without the inclusion of several males who exist as adversaries to them. Additionally, despite being one of the most critically acclaimed movies of the year, Carol lost largely when it came to awards season, and one has to wonder if this has to do with an audience who does not believe a story with a female love story can be successful. We've seen Brokeback Mountain, Moonlight and Call Me By Your Name win awards, both with homosexual men, but despite the positive Oscar buzz, Carol went home without one. Does this mean a lesbian love story will never win an award, or was Carol just not strong enough to cut it? With a male driven industry, it seems entirely possible that a movie with a love story that focuses on two women may never topple the patriarchal power structure of Hollywood.

The Bold Type:

Despite the fact that 2016 saw a dramatic drop in lesbian representation of television, with only seventeen-percent of all queer characters on television identifying as lesbian, the 2017 show The Bold Type presented some of the most positive queer representation of the year with Kat Edison and Adena El-Amin. The Bold Type centers around three women working at a magazine and avoids traditional stereotypes of catty co-workers and bitchy bosses. Additionally, they've managed to eschew the traditional coming out story for queer characters, The Bold Type presented viewers with out and proud Muslim woman Adena, and Kat, who initially believed she was straight, but who fell for Adena without feeling the need to announce a new label for herself to the world-though, in the episode "No Feminism in the Champagne Room," she accidentally tweets "This lesbian shit is intense!" from her work account for all the world to see. The presentation of two queer women of color who navigate a relationship together is revolutionary in its own right, as it negates the idea that in order to have an interracial relationship, one of the characters must be white. Unlike Glee, Kat and Adena's story does not revolve around men, and unlike Grey's Anatomy, the showrunners at The Bold Type have promised viewers that Kat and Adena are here to stay, even if that does not mean they're together. The relationship between the two women is organic, and their story does not revolve around contrived tropes of cheating, coming out, or death. Presented in contrast with the heterosexual relationships of the other women on the show, Kat and Adena's has proven to be the healthiest, and Kat, as one of the main characters, does not have her entire storyline based around her sexual identity. She is a woman, she is a person of color, she is queer, but none of those things define her. Instead, she is shown as fiercely committed to her career, a loyal friend, and a little scared of commitment. The fact that she's given real storylines outside of her sexual identity is important, as it keeps her from existing just to check off a diversity box for the show runners-who, by the way, have an A- on the diversity scale by including not only queer women and women of color, but also aging women. If shows like Grey's Anatomy set the bar for how to represent queer women, then The Bold Type has met and exceeded it, and so long as the showrunners don't choose to eliminate their queer characters, then the show represents a new generation of television for queer female viewers.

One Day at a Time:

In 2017, Netflix premiered the reboot of the sitcom classic One Day at a Time, with the reboot centering around a Cuban family living in Los Angeles. One of the standout characters on the show is Elena Alvarez, fifteen at the start of the show, who struggles with her sexual identity and what that means for her life in a Cuban family. The majority of her storyline in season one focuses on coming to terms with how to tell her family that she's gay-and not a struggle for Elena to actually accept it for herself. Her mother is supportive, and in a revolutionary scene, her strict Catholic grandmother delivers a monologue where she initially believes that it is against God, but then, within thirty seconds, decides that even the Pope says that it's not for her to judge, and quickly accepts her granddaughter for who she is. Compared to Glee's shunning at the hands of a religious grandmother, One Day at a Time represents a new normal where women support women, even if it may go against their initial beliefs. Like many stories with queer women, the main adversary for Elena comes at the hand of her father who is embarrassed by her sexuality and refuses to accept her. In the season one finale "Quinces," Elena is left on the dance floor alone at her quinceañera when her father is so humiliated by her sexuality that he leaves the party. But, proving that queer women are deserving of love, the rest of her family joins her on the floor, and she dances with them-wearing the pant suit that her grandmother made for her, because she knew she was uncomfortable in a dress. Season two expands on Elena's story, giving her sexuality an important role, and even allowing her to find a non-binary partner, something that is even more uncommon than queer women in popular media. She develops as a woman and as a character, and though sometimes it seems like a lot of her storyline is based around her sexuality, by the end of season two, she's found her own ground to stand on.

So where does that leave us now, with shows like The Bold Type and One Day at a Time attracting growing audiences? Well, the truth is, shows like that are still a small minority, and other network shows like The 100 and Supergirl continue to queerbait their audiences. For the sake of this post, I focused on a more positive representation of queer female characters on television, and showrunners who do this are proving that they're deserving of a queer audience, while shows who perpetuate old stereotypes are dipping in ratings. Despite the fact that we have a conservative president in office and a conservative congress, the majority of Americans support gay rights, and by showing more queer women on television and in movies, we normalize that for people in less liberal parts of the country. What we need now is more. More positive representation, an equal number of queer women and men, queer women who are not sexualized or tokenized. Showrunners need to take a page from the playbooks of The Bold Type and One Day at a Time. They need to replace queer female characters when they eliminate them, especially when they've represented them so well as Grey's Anatomy did, and Hollywood at large needs to take into account that queer women exist and to award movies that feature them just as they award movies with queer men. We are existing in a new future, and that needs to be recognized.