#esp. when the mess that was its development is pretty well-known

[thephantomporg84]

Re: Dante and depression, I do think he goes through a very heavy period of it canonically in DMC2. There’s a lot of joking about how out of character he is, but he’s dealing with having killed Vergil/Nelo Angelo (and, going by the anime, Trish leaving, which is another on his list of people who cannot be around him long term). The more somber attitude, leaving everything up to chance (recklessness), and how he presents himself all day grief and depression. He’s got a lot of issues.

Y’know, I think you’re right. I really do. And for all the shit I give that game, it’s not even close to some of the truly bad video games I’ve played over the years. Dante’s attitude is also far from the worst thing about it.

Funnily enough, I have something potentially interesting to add to this. With the timeline being 3 -> 1 -> 2 -> 4 -> 5 now, there was someone on either r/DevilMayCry or r/TwoBestFriendsPlay (I think) a long while back that actually made a damn good argument for Dante’s behavior taking the turns it does throughout the series***. I’m gonna try to paraphrase it below — I’d link it in the source but I can’t find the thread to save my life.

Anyway!

DMC3: Dante is kind of loud and obnoxious, arrogant, flashy and somewhere in-between the Class Clown and Bad Boy tropes because he’s actually been through a lot of trauma and is a vulnerable teenager. Puffing his chest out so people (and demons) won’t want to fuck with him.

[On an added note of my own, I think it’s stated somewhere — Before the Nightmare, specifically (not 100% sure) — that Vergil did fight off demon hit-squads in the gap between losing everything and the DMC3 manga. Given that they are twins, and even demons like Beowulf can’t distinguish their scents and looks bc they’re too similar (until it’s too late), in addition to it seeming like the average demon doesn’t realize it’s sons of Sparda... well. It all makes me think that Dante fended off his fair share of those as well, hence the need for that attitude. He also isn’t the type for blunt, direct threats and carrying them out like his brother, either. Anyway.]

Post-DMC3: A little calmer even as early as the post-credits in DMC3. Very clearly affected by his brother’s “disappearance” and his ‘victory’. Probably still holds out hope Vergil really is a stubborn bastard and is alive, somehow.

DMC1: Probably really misses Vergil by this point. Mallet Island happens, Dante finds out his brother is alive but not really. Actually has to kill him.

Post-DMC1 into the anime: Even moodier than before. Much quieter. Still snarky, but much more... tired. Feels like an outsider and can no longer hold out hope to see his brother because he killed Vergil. He effectively crushed his own hope. He and Lady have their fair share of disagreements and Trish can’t work with him for a prolonged time, either. Not to mention, even if he wanted to talk to his friends about his brother, Lady and Trish aren’t exactly the best to talk to given how they’re tied to this story.

DMC2: Incredibly isolated and depressed. No one around to put the mask on for, Trish does her thing and Lady does hers (and sometimes they work together without him) and he probably has a reputation among demons at this point (no need for that teenaged attitude), so why bother putting the mask on at all?

DMC4: Dante is so all over the place in this game that he almost comes across as more ‘wacky wahoo pizza meme compilation’ than ‘actually fucking Dante from the Devil May Cry series’... but also finds out at the start of the game that his dead brother somehow had an Actual Kid™ and that he actually does have a living family member. His brother, in a way, lives on. Messes with the kid, but ultimately lets him keep a hilariously dangerous sword and essentially lets the whole Savior incident play out because he doesn’t say no to the kid.

[ngl, I’d probably be high on life and reciting literature my brother (probably) liked while being a total ham, too, if I were in Dante’s shoes at this point. I’d be fucking delirious with joy.]

~DMC5 era: Reality sets in over time, the happiness wears off, and Dante can’t bring himself to talk to Nero about any of it. He’s lonely and feels like an outsider, isn’t getting any younger, and still misses his brother. Seeing Nero probably causes some conflicting feelings. Guilt trips. Hiding things probably plays a part in costing Nero his devil bringer. He realizes it’s Vergil and that, for a third time, he’s going to lose his brother — a second time by his own hand. He’s been grieving this whole time while Vergil, somehow, someway, was alive.

End of DMC5: Has his brother back. Potentially has a family, even if it’s a small one, and even if it’s technically just his brother and nephew. Nephew really seems to care about them to do everything he did to stop them. Actually looks genuinely happy, for the moment, for the first time in a very, very, very long time.

[***Now, granted, I’m very aware that DMC, as a series, totally does have quite a few cohesiveness issues, and can’t seem to decide on a tone more often than not — though it does finally seem to be finding its footing there. It’s to be expected from a game born because ‘this was supposed to be Leon Kennedy and Resident Evil 4 but it’s just too goddamned much even by RE standards.’ But still! I thought that was a really impressive attempt to connect things and can’t praise it enough.]

[bestworstcase]

If this doesn’t spoil anything later on, did Cass being trans also impact the captain’s hesitance to hire her in the guard, aside from the concerns of her being Saporian? Was he worried about her being outed and subject to abuse after?

unfortunately. spoilers alksdfjk

there’s some big chunks of trans lore™ coming up in 13 and 14 that will shed more light on this so you will not have too long to wait

but! for now i will say:

1 - no, because he didn’t know

2 - if he had known, absolutely this would have been a gigantic worry for him that would’ve gone hand in hand with his other reasons for keeping cassandra off the guard. 

in... very general terms, like - i’ve mentioned before i think that i am loosely and partially modeling the coronan attitude towards gayness and transness on medieval europe in that both get lumped together as a form of gender nonconformity, such that cassandra being trans and cassandra being a lesbian would in corona be seen as pretty much the same thing, and the thing is ‘doing gender wrong.’ (and this cuts in both directions - in that she’s a gnc woman and that gets lumped in as ‘doing gender wrong’ as well. and sir peter def worried about the repercussions of that part of it, even as he offered her tacit support by letting her run around in trousers riding horses and swinging swords whenever she wasn’t working.)

but like anyway - saporians being wrongheaded about gender is like, a strong stereotype in corona so this distrust and disgust of transness is intertwined with the discriminatory attitudes towards saporians and i think as far as cassandra is concerned it’s all One Thing with many ugly facets; she wasn’t afraid of being outed per se because it was all snarled up with her fear of being perceived as saporian, because one would innately imply the other, it’s all a mess.

and - this is drifting further and further from the subject of your question jksdfjks rip - the reason that stereotype exists is gender transgression is a part of zhan tiri’s sphere. she isn’t the only god associated with gender in this way (p much any god who is associated with change in some way will have at least a handful of sects doing transition rituals with their magic kjsdfkj) but she’s one of the best known for it. which also means that in cultures where zhan tiri is hated or feared there tends to be a correlating amount of suspicion of gender transgression in whatever forms

tha-at all being said i think like - coronan gender roles in bitter snow are a little looser i think than they were at any point in medieval europe because i think of them as being largely constructed around somewhat garbled old understandings of the dynamic between huma and turul, which then set into Tradition as corona became more and more secular / the sunlit temple detached from huma herself and became more, like, philosophical heliolatry. but its basically: women as life-bringers / healers / steady and constant but also potentially dangerous and destructive (like huma) vs men as guides / explorers / clear-sighted and adaptable but also capricious and temperamental (like turul). men need women in order to shine; but like - in folklore in the bitter snow verse the sun is often associated with vengeance and wrath, and the moon is often associated with clear thinking, clear judgment, honesty - and corona’s specific brand of this is the moon as a balm and a guide, reminding the sun of her light in the darkness, that sort of thing. and this informs a bias towards men being in leadership rules because. decision makers should be able to think things through and discern truth from lies; women are seen as more impulsive, more reckless, more gullible.

whereas the cultural understanding of gender in saporia is a lot more nebulous and flexible because the thorn syconium was such a dominant force in the culture for so long and like, adding to that, cathay’s take on gender can be boiled down to ‘well bones are bones are bones, who cares, flesh is temporary and doesn’t matter’ and the splendorous temple’s entire approach to choimghē is about elevating the profane to the level of the sublime and the concept of gender being something one sculpts and shapes and perfects over the course of one’s life of course synergizes beautifully with that. all of this combined over the millennia of saporia’s cultural development has kind of produced this attitude toward gender that is just wildly different from corona’s.

and then bc of the xenophobia and like fear of the ternary that has been endemic to corona for so long there is this kind of feedback loop of - gender, talking about gender, exploring gender, these are seen of saporian things, so it isn’t talked about in polite company in corona, and the more it isn’t talked about the more strongly it’s perceived as a saporian thing, and that i think has made coronan ideas about the ways men and women should look and act congeal over time. like: trousers have been popular for men and women in saporia for centuries, because saporians have been traveling by air in balloons and magical airships for centuries, and it’s a lot more convenient to just wear trousers than deal with a skirt flapping around or having to tie it up and then oh no your legs are cold because you’re a thousand feet in the air and it’s windy - vs in corona trousers historically are just a thing men wear when they ride horses, and then coronans visit saporian cities and see women going around in trousers and go but why? they don’t even have horses! and that contributes over time to this cultural feeling in corona that it is Wrong, Somehow, for women to wear trousers. stuff like that. 

as a tangential sidebar here, saporians esp in rural regions tend to go barefoot a lot during the summer, because saporia is very boggy and wet and that makes wearing shoes on the regular an exercise in misery, so in corona there is this association of barefootedness with, specifically, Rural Saporian Poverty, and while of course no one would ever say anything to the lost princess’s face i do think rapunzel’s hatred of shoes got a lot of side-eyes from snobby upper class and aristocratic folks because of this

[night-dragon937]

Sorry i accidently Unfollowed trying to hit the ask button: Im a little anxious about this but, I want to know how best to refer to you/yall? I know, the basics of DID and im sorry if this just, comes off as wrong/bad, but im, assuming that DID is specific to each system (I think im using that term right? im sorry if im not) and i just want to know how best to, like. avoid making you feel bad/wrong? (like, im anxious about referring to you as, you or do i need to refer to you as, like. them? or yall?, because i think all of you is valid and great and deserves respect? individually and as a whole?) and i saw the post where like, people think the Host (I am so sorry if i am messing up these terms) is more valid then the others, and that made me sad because, I think everyone is valid? and its like, i dont want to refer to you as the wrong thing (eg: a singular person, incase that strips away the importance of being known?, or as multiple, incase that invalidates?) like, im sorry if any of this comes off as tone deaf. i also got anxious about asking because, I dont want it to seem like the first thing i think about is, this? when interacting, but its why i get really nervous about using you/yall? not that anything was done to make me feel like that, i just want to be respectful? I also dont want to ask tons of questions cause, i know what it feels like to be bombarded with questions about something like this and being treated less like a person, more like a thing to gawk at i guess? like, ive done my best to read up on DID to, better try to understand, but if its unique to each person, I dont want to generalize it? I also am trying not to refer to this as a disability? as im not sure if its, ok to? because it just felt, strange, referring to, what to me seems like a Group of people? as a disability? Im sorry if thats, incorrect or wrong, or even ableist? im genuinely not trying to be. I just, think its important to give everyone individuality and importance? and if you all ? are, different people with their own personalities (if im, understanding that right, i know its possibly different from one person to another?) Then i want to respect that to the best of my ablity? Sorry for all of the rambling and if this is too much a wall of text. im also extremely sorry if anything ive said/done in our interactions, or this ask were offensive? Its alright if you dont want to answer this of course, or if any of this was too personal/touchy, im not gonna get upset or anything and thats completely fair ? I honestly second guessed asking, but figured i needed to before i accidently messed up and said something wrong?

hey no need to apologize! we are willing to answer questions about our experiences with did/plurality! (in fact, it's nice when singlets/non-systems ask questions when they're unsure bc it shows that they care about respect n stuff)

each system's experience with their diagnosis is unique, yes! we have did, but there are various types of osdd that are diagnoses for systems as well

we have what's called a singletsona, essentially a "sona" that's a single person. we mostly have this irl for safety reasons, but we also understand that a constantly changing roster of many people can be confusing esp for neurodivergent people. so, generally, we go by night (cause we're the night system lol it fits perfectly!) and use they/them.

some people do want to interact with us individually (like. maybe four singlets so don't feel bad if you'd rather just interact with us as a whole, but we will let you know if we switch or about alter-specific things) and they refer to us either by who's fronting or by "night sys" or "night system" and refer to us with plural pronouns

you're so very sweet <3

so that refers to people who act as if the body belongs to the host and no one else in the system, the life belongs to the host and other alters shouldn't get as much of a say, or as if other alters aren't really people, like the host is.

you're not being tone deaf at all! even if you were, we'd still be willing to provide info

so, referring to a system depends on a few things. if you're referring to a singletsona, then singular pronouns/preferred pronouns. if you're referring to a single alter, then singular, but if you mean the whole system, then plural. also, if you feel weird about using "you," just know that you was originally a plural pronoun (but has changed in meaning and usage, like they! and thou was the singular)

we're generally pretty understanding and won't get offended unless one is being intentionally malicious (understanding what one is doing, what the affects of the actions are, and still choosing to do it)

we don't know enough to comment on osdd but did is absolutely 100% a disability because this impacts every aspect of our lives, for several reasons. there's the obvious sharing every life decision with a multitude of others with their own personalities and opinions, but did is a trauma based disorder and thus has a lot of symptoms of trauma. did is usually concurrent with ptsd and c-ptsd, and often others. this is bc dissociation is a learned (unhealthy) coping mechanism where we put ourselves literally anywhere but the physical present rw to avoid trauma at a young age, which impacts development of the personality (talking specifically about did). did is... so much more than having brain friends, its freaking out bc someone used a specific tone of voice even if it's not meant maliciously. it's coming to front and having no clue where you are or what's going on. it's being held accountable for actions you have no memory of (and are often out of character). it's often dealing with depression, anxiety, flashbacks, anxiety attacks... you get the point lol

the group of people isn't the disability, it's how traumagenic systems form that cause them to be disabilities, and how that affects daily life. that sounds contradictory. it's... not that any specific alter is debilitating, but the cause of the condition (trauma) and the effects of the condition (dissociative amnesia, etc) that make it a disability. does that make sense?

and you've been nothing but respectful! but thank you for checking, it means a lot to us, truly.

feel free to send more asks/reply to this if you have any more questions or need any clarifications in regards to this (we've been awake for far too many hours lol). also we love talking about our system and info dumping about our diagnosis/diabilities lol

[lemoncakepanda]

Top 50 NaLu Anime Moments {Pt 1}

And thus we get back to me fangirling over my favorite NaLu moments once again, only this time we do it based on the anime-only moments, which covers: canon, filler, movies and ovas. 100 year quest is not included bc it hasn’t been animated (yet) and it’s still fairly early in the story to start listing my fave moments, so we’ll just cover these I mentioned. If you’re not up to date with the anime, I recommend you skip this list.

Originally, I was just going to do 30 moments, but the list kept getting bigger and so on, and here we are. So I’ll post from least favorite to, well, most favorite, and will divide the list in 5 posts. In this first one, I’ll list my fave moments from 50 till 41.

Warning: lots of gushing and fangirling over a beautiful ship. also, a few moments will be differently placed on this list contrary to where they ranked before (some may be higher and some may be lower) and that’s due to the fact that some of them were better in the manga, whereas some were better in the anime, and some of them are lower simply bc dragon cry exists. so, here we go,

50. “Hang out with me a little longer.” (Ep 125).

We starting off with a filler moment, and you may wonder why it’s so low, since it’s such a cute moment. One, it’s filler. Two, it made into the list, which is already saying something. There’s many great NaLu moments, and they have a lot of scenes together, so choosing only 50 moments was hard enough, so no judging the rankings, kay? It’s the only scene ever where Natsu and Lucy are dancing, so I couldn’t leave it out. It’s such a great moment because, especially at first, Lucy hardly initiated the NaLu moments, and this was post Tenrou, which is known for its NaLu amazing-ness and where the ship truly start to develop, so to see Lucy grab Natsu’s hands even though he “ruined” what she thought would be a romantic moment, and just pull him in for dancing, was actually really sweet, especially at the sound of “Glitter” which is a great song. Also, it’s easy to miss, but Natsu is blushing when she pulls him to her so they can dance, which made the scene extra cute. Let’s ignore the fact that he probably puked on her next, lol.

49. Lucy stops Natsu in Edolas. (Ep 82).

Does anyone else find amazing the fact that Lucy can calm down Natsu and talk him out of so many fights? Natsu Dragneel, the guy who storms into fighting without a second thought? Because I do. And this moment here is no different. Back when I was watching this, I had no idea where we were going with NaLu as a ship, esp bc I knew Lisanna was coming back this arc, so it was nice to see them having moments like this, where you can see Lucy’s affect on Natsu, the way she calms him down, even when she’s upset too, like you can see on the photo. Also, a back hug, which is a total NaLu thing, so it’s a must on this list.

48. “That was dangerous. Thanks, Lucy.” (Ep 59).

BLUSHING LUCY IS SO CUTE! Srsly, though, I love seeing her blush over Natsu, especially so early in the series. I headcanon that she had a little crush on him around this time, but didn’t know how to deal with it, so she just buried it, but moments like these would happen, and it would slip out. Also, the matching outfits are a plus! I don’t have much to say about this moment, other than it’s hard to show this photo to someone and have them explain how could this be platonic in any way. I mean, they’re friends, ain’t nobody denying it, but it’s not just that.

47. Original Team Natsu is formed. (Ep 3).

Time to travel a bit back in time, back to when I didn’t even ship NaLu, and they certainly did not have romantic feelings for one another, but it’s still a pretty special moment, and that’s when Original Team Natsu, which consisted of Natsu, Lucy and Happy, was formed. I love how in sync they were with each other since the beginning; they certainly had immediate chemistry with one another, even when they were still getting to know each other. Gotta add this one, bc, where would we be if the Everlue mission never came in about? If they never needed a blonde? I mean, Natsu would probably choose Lucy anyway, but this was very essential to the building of their friendship, as it also opened the door for them to start spending time together.

46. Natsu saves Lucy from Zash. (Fairy Tail: Dragon Cry).

And from one jump in time, to something more recent, and where Natsu and Lucy are 100% the ship we love, which would usually not be so low on the list, but God, there are so many moments that weight more, especially on the emotional side, for me. This moment I feel it’s important to point out bc we all know nothing good was about to happen to Lucy, and Natsu once again comes through to save her, to make up for the fact that he almost hurt her, and he just burts in yelling “Give Lucy back!” and just wrecking in everything and punching that creep in the face. And he still picks Lucy up in his arms and is all flirty with her and starts sniffing her. Also, for someone who complains about Lucy’s weight, he sure doesn’t mind holding her like this, does he?

45. Lucy and Natsu falling from the waterfall. (Ep 59).

For those of you who don’t know, I feel it’s fair to point out Orácion Seis is my least favorite FT arc (yes, I know Alvarez exists, but at least it’s entertaining), and the only thing I really liked about it was Jerza, Wendy’s introduction, and, well, the moments with Natsu and Lucy, individually and together. I wanted to bring this moment in because it’s always nice to see Lucy being the one to save Natsu, but also because it shows how their relationship is slowly but surely progressing; before, every time he got motion sickness, she’d tell him to snap out of it or just call him pathetic. And then, somewhere along the way, she stopped finding it ridiculous. As we can see on this moment, I think for the first time, she’s so worried about him and goes on to save him even when she’s all banged up too, and she risks her life to protect him, even when he’s about to be sick right at her chest. She doesn’t ridiculize him, she doesn’t roll her eyes at him, nor ignores him, she steps in to save him because she already cares about him so much. It was a nice development in their relationship, and I’m very grateful for this moment. It’s always nice to see NaLu being reckless together.

44. End of the Starry Sky arc. (Ep 150).

And whereas in one we had Lucy jumping from a waterfall grabbing onto Natsu for dear life to protect him, here we have Natsu straight up jumping at the sky to save Lucy from falling to her death (again), with a beautiful scenery, with all the stars falling, nice background music, and, after the long roller-coaster arc we had, ending it this way, with Lucy giving Natsu one of her sweetest smiles after he catches her and then throws himself on the ground as they fall so she doesn’t get hurt, gave such a warm feeling to my heart. The nice reminder that although Lucy had lost all of her family (Layla, Jude and Michelle), she still had a family right there in him, in everyone else at Fairy Tail, and they would always be there to catch her. 

43. The “almost kiss”. (Ep 219).

While I’m sure we all knew there was no way Lucy and Natsu would be kissing in the middle of the anime, and certainly not in an omake, it was very entertaning to see how they both would react to the suggestion of doing so, which resulted in: Natsu was all okay going for it, and Lucy became a flustered mess. I like how the anime added her heart speeding up when Natsu came closer, right before she pulled Happy to the middle. And can we talk about how Natsu just went for that kiss, though? He didn’t seem bothered by it in the slightest. Oh, if only Lucy wasn’t so shy! But it’s okay, I’m sure it’ll be even better when it actually happens in the actual story. Also, kudos to little Asuka, the mvp, speaking for us NaLus and trying to make dreams come true right there, lol.

42. “We can’t let it end here.” (Ep 122).

A small addition the anime made for the scene where they’re all getting ready to defend themselves from Acnologia, during Tenrou Island, which was very much appreciated. To see once again how Natsu knows exactly how to comfort Lucy, how he gives her hope, how they become stronger together, and have so much trust between them. Also, holding hands, which is always welcomed. They could have shown Natsu comforting anyone else, literally, it could have been anyone else from the guild who felt hopeless, just like they could have had anyone else comfort Lucy and give her hope. But, for this situation, who better than these two? They do so much for each other. Moments like these, filler or not, showcase how important they are for one another and the affect they have on each other. It could be their very last moments of their lives, and they were spending it with one another. Simply amazing and very touching.

41. Last moments before the war. (Ep 291).

Yup, I love this moment. I love how Natsu knows war’s gonna break out the next day (it happens on the same night but only bc Zeref is extra like that), and he goes to spend his last peaceful night at his favorite place, with his two favorite people, Lucy and Happy. I also like the talk they had and how Natsu explained himself to her, about how he loved fighting, but he didn’t like hurting/killing, and he only wanted to protect his guild. In moments like this, you can see Lucy look at him like that, like she’s thinking, yup, that’s why I love him so much. And when he says stuff like that, I think she can’t help admiring him even more. And this is the moment that opens the “let’s talk of the future” thing between NaLu, which has a nice conclusion by the end of this arc, which I’m sure you all know what is, and I’ll bring this moment back, but we’re still far from it. Anyways, a great moment because, even though it’s little, you can see how close they are with one another, and after spending one year apart, they’re more than happy to stay with each other for their last peaceful night too bad it gets interrupted huh.

Part 2 will be posted tomorrow!

[firebirdsdaughter]

What’s hilarious [read: ridiculous] to me…

… Is that Horobi and Yua actually follow a fairly parallel path in their responses to their situations (I had a whole realisation about how Horobi-Fuwa-Naki-Yua are a four way parallel today; Horobi-Fuwa are parallels and Naki-Yua are parallels, but then their actions crisscross parallel). But there’s a massive double standard in how the two characters are reacted to… Despite the fact that Yua is a fully mentally matured and developed human adult and Horobi is an AI that has been hacked and brainwashed for the past decade in a way that forcibly stunted his development.

Yua was in a horrid and toxic work environment w/ an abusive boss. Now, admittedly, Gai kept a large amount of his worse deeds from her and to a point one could justify it as her thinking she’s acting for the greater good… Until we get to the part where it becomes abundantly clear she knows very well that what they’re doing is at the least morally questionable… But doesn’t try to defect at all, even to the point of insisting it’s of her own free will. Yes, she had a chip in her head, too, but given her reactions to him torturing Fuwa, she doesn’t seem to have known he could do that, and she didn’t know about Naki, nor did she have an AI drone in her mind. Now this is not to blame Yua—in fact, the point is that she was a victim in a bad situation. Her struggle to get out of there was fairly realistic given her situation. But she had the experience to know that what they were doing was wrong. That makes it tragic in it’s own way, yes, that she was under extreme stress and very conflicted, but she was aware of that. She was a fully developed adult. She deliberately pursued Izu w/ the intention of destroying her, and would have had Gai not said the wrong thing and set Fuwa off. And Izu was frightened and trying to run away. She resists Fuwa’s repeated attempts to snap her out of it.

Rightly so, people noted Yua’s situation, were upset for her and felt bad for her. When there were jackasses saying she should die, people called it out as bad. People were cheering for her to get away from Gai. People were happy when she did. And this includes me. I blocked people I saw shitting on Yua and saying she should die bc what the fuck, guys, she was in a seriously messed up situation.

Once free of Gai, Yua is uncertain what to do and decides to try and ‘make up’ for something she feels responsible for in a rather questionable way. She ends up helping the Ark rise and wreak havoc. Still people recognise that she couldn’t have known that would happen. Poor Yua’s been through a lot.

Meanwhile, Horobi is hacked and brainwashed by the Ark twelve years ago. She uses him to cause Daybreak. He is an AI being controlled by a larger AI designed to control HumaGear like him. Unlike and adult human being pressured and manipulated, he is literally incapable of thinking outside the Ark’s will. The Ark has complete control. Even if he did have any experience to compare w/ before, the Ark erases it. He has no frame of reference besides the Ark, no development of any kind to evaluate his situation w/. Even when Jin becomes important to him, everything is through the lens of the Ark, the Ark is more than a god to him. The brainwashing is so deep that even when disconnected for a bit, he can’t be anything besides blindly devoted. Talks about how the Ark is absolute. When confronted w/ something that causes uncertainty, he goes into a full on mental breakdown—literally, should have been a first clue that emotions were never going to come easy for him.

Eventually, he does end up w/ enough experience to just start to begin to break free. Manages to act completely on his own for the first time in his life—not an instinct that the Ark swooped in to take advantage of, he gets to go through w/ it on his own. And he’s floored. He literally cannot fathom why his body moved on its own, as far as he can tell. Can’t understand the fact that he wanted to do something. This is recognised as a big deal (one of the only times anyone tries to actually talk him out of things, in fact, unlike Yua, where there was a lot of effort). Horobi begins to wonder about things outside the Ark’s will, about himself, which he’s never considered before… Only to have it turn out his son was plotting to have the Ark possess him and then kill him to kill her. This completely upends any development he had. He’s re-hacked and rendered as largely a drone when not being possessed.

Finally, someone decides to put effort into him (kinda…) again. And, in a situation that heavily parallels Yua, he ends up finding it in him to break free of the Ark. Only… Again, a lot like Yua, it’s not a clean break. He’s still stuck w/ the past, the conditioning, and the effects of what happened. Additionally, as later becomes clear, his struggling w/ feeling emotions, which he has been carefully conditioned to reject and have no experience w/, for the first time. He’s mentally unstable and volatile. Now, in the show, what happens is the result of Azu/the Ark’s manipulations and people making poor decisions (and I do think you can make an argument for the fact that the Ark was intentionally keeping Horobi from feeling/having any experience w/ emotions to make him even more of a wreck later on), and poking a very volatile bear (well, a highly traumatised child soldier AI who has no fucking clue what emotions are to the point it feels like an outside being controlling him somehow), he lashes out, and Izu calmly stands there and deliberately takes a hit she very clearly sees coming. General chaos ensues. From Horobi’s perspective, the thing he’s been trained to think will get rid of the uncertainty and emotions etc. not only doesn’t work, but it makes him feel worse, and bc he has no other way he knows how to respond, he becomes more aggressive in rejecting those feelings. And then Jin dies, and he completely breaks down.

The reaction he gets? People calling him evil and horrible and saying he should die. That e’s choosing to do these things. People who talk about how Yua can’t really be held accountable, how she was coerced, look at a literal brainwash victim and say he choose to do those things.

Now, obviously, there are differences, which resulted in the different out comes—obviously the whole, one is a fully developed human adult and the other one is an AI. One was externally conditioned, the other, again, literally brainwashed. One had someone fighting to convince them to break free of their situation on a regular basis, repeatedly, constantly, the other didn’t. Yua was always going to have an easier break than Horobi, bc she had more mental and emotional maturity, but bc of that, esp in regards to actions done whilst under the ‘control’ of others, she has more responsibility for her actions bc she was capable of identifying them as wrong.

Now, of course, both situations are bad for the people involved. Both of them are victims.

But the issue is that people seem to be all over how Yua was a victim, Yua was mistreated… While attacking Horobi (and being upset about Izu dying is one thing, although, again, the person really responsible for that was Azu/th ark(well, Gai for creating her), Horobi was pretty much used as a weapon there, but this is for stuff he did while mind controlled).

And I used Yua just bc she and Horobi had the most parallel responses to their situations. The same goes for being able to see Fuwa as a victim, or Naki (so if Naki is the one who gave Horobi the ZetsumeRise Keys, does that make them responsible for Operation MaGear, or bc they gave Horobi the ForceRiser and said to use it on Jin, are they responsible for that? Bc that’s the logic of blaming Horobi for Daybreak), or Raiden, or even Aruto for that time he got hijacked via MCH. Any of the hacked HumaGear who were turned into MaGear.

Just… The concept of seeing how all of those people are victims in the situation… But blaming Horobi? Like… Not being interested in Horobi is one thing. Obviously, no on is going to be as madly in love w/ him as I am. It’s the act of not recognising him as being a victim while recognising everyone in similar situations as victims. It’s saying he was responsible for Daybreak, treating him like the Ark’s will was his (I’m literally having flashbacks to comments calling Horobi’s whole death ‘Horobi’s plan,’ even though by that point we literally knew the Ark was an entity that existed). Like… They literally confirmed it in show as not being that. Horobi is a mind control victim. What someone’s personal opinion of the character outside of that is another matter. But the fact is that he was mind controlled by the Ark and that the things he did under her control cannot be objectively called things he chose to do. Whether someone thinks he would have chosen them if he weren’t mind controlled… Esp given how all his actions of own choice were about protecting Jin, I personally disagree. But the show has been very explicit that he was mind controlled, and that he had no clue how to handle emotions (to the point he didn’t even seem to know what they are), so being able to understand that all those other people, esp the ones who went through similar things, are victims… But Horobi’s to blame for what he did? That’s just ridiculous.

And don’t even get me started on how anyone could ever see Gai as being a bigger victim than Horobi.

[mingjue]

give us the good werewolf!! i Must Know More

HEEHEE...............

ok BASICALLY, this will obviously be focused on Qinghe/the nie bros, so just for ref

Nie - Werewolf

Lan - Satyr

Jin - Elven

Jiang - Mermaid/Waterfolk

Wen - Draconic

WWX is vampire bc hes stupid and gay

Mingjue is half Elven, but you wouldn’t think he was asides from the big ears, Huaisang is full ‘wolf; jgy is elven/dryad; Wen Qing & Wen Ning are draconic/waterfolk

(For those who see this in the tags, this isn’t Om*g*v*rse or A/*/O do NOT touch this if u like that shit)

NOW, for actual werewolf content

The way the pack works in Qinghe is still pretty similar to clans in canon, just slightly different

Mingjue and his direct family are the head family Of Course, and they secure this position via duels/fighting should another family want to take over; these duels are common under stressful times, but Mingjue has been able to keep it held down. 

The duels are like.....scheduled ahead of time, and are held in a secure area; the rules are that you can’t kill your opponent, that if you win you must treat the wolf who lost, + only the wolf who challenged the leader can fight, no one else (and vice versa, only the leader can fight) can join in, And More

like you cant aim for vitals, use teeth beyond taunting, fights cant be scheduled during/near full moons, and the fighters must choose whether they will both fight in humanoid form or wolf form

 Clan elders supervise the fight, and have selected specific soldiers that will help break up the fight if anything goes wrong; doctors are also on stand by bc these fights get BLOODY (esp w mingjue)

Huaisang nearly loses his position after pretty much being back-to-back challenged for his position, which instilled the rule that duels can only happen three times a year. He’s managed to win his duels with his own tricks, but they can still end pretty bloody

Ranking is not much different due to the clans wanting consistency (also im stupid and gay)

The nies end up becoming the most medically advanced due to how dangerous shifting is; they develop medications to ease pain, different magic stuff to control body temperature, etc. etc.

and actually the Nies are known for being pretty wolves

TYPICALLY a fully shifted wolf during a full moon aren’t the prettiest things to look at; most commonly their fur is patchy, their limbs are obviously distorted, faces look mutilated in a sense, all that

BUT, due to advances in cultivation & medicine they’re able to be calm after a shift, so they’re able to keep up w personal hygiene LMAO

Mingjue personally is almost obsessive with keeping his fur a certain way to be both 1. Handsome :) 2. intimidating as hell; he has the advantage of getting rlly thick hair from his Elven side, so his pelt is flush. but he also leaves some of it “messy” and puffed out for the intimidation bit

huaisang keeps his completely brushed n smooth and he’s usually nested in his bed when he shifts. he was also blessed with the fullness in his pelt, but his chest/belly and thighs are more ‘bare’ compared to mingjue.

they also braid what parts of the fur they can; mingjue and huaisang have LOTS of braids as usual

ALSO the most common pelt color is black with white/lighter pelts being on the uncommon side, second most common are dark creams/browns/reds with black snouts/heads/legs/etc. 

Mingjue has ruddy brown + black snout/legs/all that; Huaisang has brown w black ticked (i have NO idea what the dog term is for that, its like the tips of the fur is black??) 

both have bright amber/yellow eyes

ALSO THEIR TAILS...........

ok. PRIMARILY. they dont have tails in human form, BUT, it’s possible, and it’s something that puppies/young disciples will usually let show??

Mingjue ONLY shows his tail when hes in private with someone close, like Huaisang or Xichen, and he Knows they won’t be walked in on. He just has this Thing where he’ll be fucking humiliated if someone else saw it. he also has rlly long fur on his tail so its PRETTY, he just thinks its childish

Huaisang on the other hand kept his tail out until he became the sole leader of the pack, save for like, banquets he attended with Mingjue bc mingjue would tell him to Quit It.

getting rid of a tail is an hour long process so mingjue has to watch the time to get huaisang before they go anywhere

if theres no time to hide a tail, tuck it in ur pants so it doesn’t move and hide it under layers

just. a tail in humanoid form is a different context than just seeing it when they’re shifted, and again a sign of childishness.

puppy ears in human form can also happen but it’s discouraged heavily because of the possibility of damaging ear canals.

OH ALSO, another reason why like, the nie clan has that GIANT ass wall surrounding its city, is because they go on total lockdown during full moons. 

puppies are a fucking MESS to deal with, and they run like. constantly. If they’re still it’s because they’re either eating something or they’ve passed out from exhaustion. Huaisang was a TERROR when he was a puppy and mingjue still has a scar on his arm from when he went ballistic from pent-up energy

SO! There’s different parts of the city where puppies and young wolves can run around, destroy shit, eat whatever, wrestle each other, all that, and they’re HEAVILY supervised by elders/adult wolves who have better control of themselves during fullmoons

the only wolves who can leave the area during a fullmoon are Mingjue and Huaisang, and maybe like, a really well-respected elder or two, but that’s it

and despite popular belief this is actually the WORST time to attack Qinghe. Every wall is guarded, everyone is in a state where they can mutilate someone thats usually considerably stronger than them in human form, and Everyone is on high-alert whether they’re destroying a tree or nearly unconscious

theres also areas in the city sealed off for weaker/sickly wolves who are taken care of by capable adults, citizens of other species, all that

full moons aren’t hated in qinghe! they’re quite fun if you’re a werewolf; the areas for Going Ham are usually packed with different stuff u can mess with, you just have to watch ur back

they also aren’t that violent bc again, intense supervision by elders and the like; and they’re becoming more and more festival like with cultivation and medical advancement

then of course, the sword situation is still very much the same; my version of werewolves are like, slightly allergic to silver, but piercing one or having silver near won’t kill a wolf. the most it will do is give them a rash :/

all of their jewelry/accessories are made out of different metals because of this, esp since Qinghe is rich with that (+jewels/gems bc i love that hc so much)

THENNN i think last thing for now, they DO wear some form of clothing in wolf form, MOST of the time

typically there’s enough fur to cover privates, but its not unusual for there Not to be enough fur, so there’s specially made hanfu for full moons that are custom made for each wolf

basically being a seamstress in Qinghe will Get You Places, bc tears will happen, people will want them adjusted if they’re passing them to another family member, fashion choices, etc. etc.

Mingjue normally wears really simple hanfu and dachangs (the like, over-robe thing), but xichen bought him a specially made hanfu that he likes to wear during really important events, should he be in wolf form :)

huaisang buys new full moon hanfu every few months He Likes To Sit And Feel Pretty By Himself............(Or Maybe For Jiang Cheng If He Visits..........)

[unproduciblesmackdown]

okay imagine kleinsen in it too, not to be Kleinsen Trash, but. just on the side. jared mentions to alana that evan messaged him and alana is just “oh what’s bitch boy got to say?” like. hm. they’ve obviously been able to heal, esp if they were like,, Good Friends in college, they’d definitely help each other. bUt back to kleinsen. dude. jared and evan start talking semi-regularly again, and jared and alana have a whole deep conversation when jared asks “do you think he really changed?” (1/????)

and cAn you imagine. alana still being v ery cautious of evan, her and jared getting in a little disagreement abt jared immediately (not immediately obviously but way sooner than alana) being buddy-buddy with evan. would jared tell alana about his long harbored feelings for evan that have gotten ever so complicated? i think tf yes, and her being one of the few people (if not only person) he tells just brings tears to my eyes. after a while, alana becomes the natural wing woman she is.. (2/3??)

in the ultimate act of mlm/wlw solidarity. no more kleinsen i just love this concept. both of them being the other’s first Gay Friend, having been in the closet for so long? they’re the friends they have needed for so long? and jared inviting alana to get absolutely shitfaced like he did with ev, and they just have a good time? the first few times alana doesn’t drink much but can you imagine her just going off the RAILS for once? i don’t wanna be a bother so i’m done, thank u for ur time 3/3

djfsj lmaooo honestly like the idea of jared and alana becoming better Friends Due To Mutual Hate is always kind of a fun one...because they deserve to be friends anyhow, especially since after the tcp debacle they’re both kind of more alone in ways than they were even at the start of the year. it’s kind of an obvious complication that jared knows that the entire thing is based on lies (which are in part his lies) and that alana originally got invested in the whole deal when believing it was all true and reacting earnestly to that. it’s interesting that even when alana is definitely suspecting the story was a lie, she’s still determined to continue with the project, probably already feeling her own sense of responsibility in promoting the story and sort of making this commitment to everyone who supports tcp even though she didn’t know it might not be true. and then it’s not like we don’t know she ever stops reflecting on the contradictions and discrepancies and suspecting or anything. and i don’t think jared would ever tell anybody about what he and evan did, cuz that’s pretty much both their secret and if one of them tells about their own involvement they’re going to be telling on the other as well, and even if he and alana were closer, realer friends vs him and evan being more estranged, just gonna keep that secret eternally

but they do at least have the mutual gfy-type experience of being involved in that mess and getting screwed over by evan lol...and yet that wouldn’t have to be the only reason they could enjoy each other’s company more, because they totally ought to be friends, js, and could be friends based on more than just that shared experience

for example absolutely mlm/wlw solidarity.....it’d be fantastic if they got to be each other’s first First Gay Friend and get to have someone who knows about them and support each other...it’s great to think about that happening in high school when probably they’re more closeted Or about them becoming friends moreso in college and coming out to each other then. and just generally being each others moral support in so many ways throughout the kind of everyday experience of college, so that the both of them can feel sure they’ve always got Someone to hang out with and back them up, which would be a beautiful change from how things were in high school when everyone was feeling so isolated and insecure in any connections

it’s a super super interesting idea that jared might actually want to ask alana about what SHE thinks about evan and the idea of being involved with him again, what with how jared had some form of friendship with evan for at least a decade whereas alana never really was exactly friends with evan outside tcp, and based on that jared should feel like he’s the one with the expertise, but like, he DID get burned by relying on his own judgment back in senior year, and between that experience of their friendship deteriorating and what evan did to him and how they haven’t talked in however long, it would be such a neat thing if he really did want to know how what alana thought despite (or because) of her having sort of more of that Outside Perspective of not having known evan that well ever and also not being in touch with him for however long. especially since jared probably does have lingering Feelings For Evan and it’s hard to know whether he’s being misguided by that or whether there’s a chance it’s still something more genuine than just being sentimentally wishful. and thus wanting to hear alana’s opinions on evan and the whole Situation and what her perspective is, as someone who was also hurt by evan and who knows jared

and like whether or not it looks like there’s a chance to get back in touch and develop a fresh relationship with evan, it would of course be wild if jared tells alana he has/had feelings for evan. it might be a little tricky telling the story without disclosing anything he can’t disclose about the whole thing with the tcp, but also it’s a fairly simple concept lol.....and it would sort of be a big deal, like, this whole relationship spanning over a decade and this crush spanning who knows how many years of that time, and probably how it was tied in to his own Gay Awakening and just this big secret being carried around for eons. but unlike the truth about tcp, this one’s just his own secret, and she’d probably be the first person he told about it. and like if they’re on / getting on that level of Trust, you Know it’s a genuinely solid relationship. and just having someone who you can talk to about that kind of personal intimidating stuff is a nice thing to know

honestly drunk alana probably just has a lot of fun but still in kind of typical-sober-alana ways, just ramped up a little lol. and probably jared is too easily Sad Drunk so that would be a helpful other sort of influence lol....like drunk alana just thinks a lot of things are funny and laughs a lot and i like @nothingunrealistic ‘s idea that alana enjoys karaoke so these things go together well. they can absolutely have a night out and get smashed and its surprisingly fun and then later on after they make it back to home base they can talk all about feelings and life lol

plus yes re: college make-up kleinsen, it would be reasonable for alana to be skeptical at first, not to mention protective if jared’s over here being one of her first Real Friends, and then it’s even possible that if it seemed like things were going decently, she might feel insecure b/c jared and evan have that way longer history between them and everything and maybe if evan also became a Real Friend of jared’s again, he wouldn’t be as interested in his friendship with her anymore (especially if they’d become Real Friends after the disaster with evan lol), but i think that wouldn’t have to be too much of a worry anyways b/c she wouldn’t exactly only let that fester but rather take these active steps to try to make sure she was staying close to jared, and frankly jared would probably want to hang on to her extra close anyways b/c it’s scary and confusing and he’s also not sure if it’s just going to be another disaster. but then of course it could all work out okay and as it becomes more obvious that jared’s still in love with him and possibly evan is in love with him too, alana would do her best to be Very Supportive in like, really practical ways lmao.....but she would actually really like, think it was awesome that she was getting to play the good friend who gets to be a part in this kind of event in her friends life? like, considering how dramatic it all COULD be, it’s actually not that dramatic, but it’s all a very emotional matter and like, seeing that she’s actually pretty good at this emotional support stuff and that she can be a part of it rather than it just being like, oh we’re friends but i can only be close to someone to a certain degree and once it gets to the deeper more serious stuff i’m not going to be wanted, or i’m going to mess it up, or i’m not going to understand, etc etc etc like worrying she might feel like she doesn’t fit in in her own relationship with someone lol..........and like she can never have the sort of ~real friendship~ where they can do things like talk late at night About Boys figuratively and literally.......but anyways turns out she can

jared in turn is like “i don’t know how to back you up when it comes to dating because i don’t know how to deal with people and i’ve only ever dealt with evan but you have my support nonetheless” and he’s more like her secret sidekick than anyone who’s about to successfully play any active role in Interacting With People but they’re both trying to figure out how to be themselves and be able to socialize so like. as long as they know they’ve got backup on their side in case of disaster or anything, that’s a lot better than thinking you’re on your own.

[joysmercer]

Grey’s Anatomy 14x13 Final Thoughts

Oh my goodness, what was that?

was anyone else…uncaptivated by that episode? Honestly, there was something missing that is essential to a typical Grey’s episode, and although I don’t know what it was, I could definitely feel the difference tonight. A lot of this is going to be ranting, so feel free to just scroll to the end for the things I liked :) Let’s get started.

First of all, April. The writers just can’t help themselves when it comes to not giving us any info about this girl, can they? Nearly everything we saw was through someone else’s position -- Jackson and/or Arizona’s.  Two episodes ago, I never thought that her storyline would end up…like this. I wanted it to be more central, more explored, just, more than what it is right now, which is a random hodgepodge of scenes that are totally out of character and don’t seem to play any role except collectively raising the blood pressure of anyone who ever cared about this girl. As for April herself, how on Earth did she not notice her boss, the chief resident, and the most talkative intern ever running around the hospital trying to arrange a deal with an old man in Mexico? And coming to work drunk isn’t just out of character, it’s plain dangerous. And where the hell is Owen through all of this? Not only is he her boss, but he’s also a very close, older-brother-like figure to her and he should have noticed something as well. Grey’s isn’t exactly known for its continuation, but this is a really big mess. 

On the other hand, I’m glad Jackson is trying to help April and trying to be there for her. It’s obvious he cares about her a lot, and it’s very sweet. As for Arizona, this girl is coming out to be a terrible friend holy shit. Last season she ruined her relationship with Webber (for a very annoying character at that), and now she’s pushing April away and ignoring the signs that her “best friend” may be at the point of no return. She did seem to wake up in the last scene or so, but that’s no excuse for how she’s been treating April. She should have realized this sooner.

The other huge problem with this episode was Ben Warren. The “I switched jobs and now I want to go back” thing is really, really overdone. The first 2 times he tried to sneak in to see his patient, I put up with it. After that…well, it got old, quickly. I must confess that I didn’t watch the final scene with Ben and Bailey because that man was driving me up the wall for an hour and I couldn’t handle any more of his idiocracy. I was super pumped for Station 19, but if this is going to be a huge plot point, I’m not sure I’ll even watch. 

There were other little bits of things this episode could have definitely done without: Koracick, for one, did not have to be such an ass -- he is a doctor after all, and also had no right to treat Alex the way he did all episode. Hellmouth is getting more and more “ugh” each episode. Qadri removing her Hijab to close a wound was actually a nice scene, but her final scene where she puts it back on in public was in poor taste -- although I am not Muslim, my best friend is, and she mentioned that she has to observe Hijab around any males, except for relatives… I’m pretty sure that ER was full of men, and Dahlia wasn’t trying to save a life or anything at that moment. Also, that Jolex scene was a little random and slightly weird. Maggie didn’t seem to have any real purpose this ep except to make Jackson jealous. And besides Amelia/Alex and Meredith/Jo, where are all the other contest participants with their work? Are they (esp. Carina, who didn’t even make an appearance today) proceeding well? Finally, the whole emergency-worker-has-arm-in-body-cavity-and-now-gets-to-go-into-the-OR thing was done ages ago. Did the writers really think we wouldn’t notice? And if it was intentional, then they really should have had some flashback dialogue or something to connect the two eps. Seriously.

There were some nice things about this episode though :) For starters, I loved seeing all the children again (since when was Ellis so big??? And Harriet is freaking adorable omg). Herrera was quite badass and she and Mer make a good team. I can never get enough of Bailey putting her colleagues in their places, and I’m glad she’s back to her usual self! Alex and Amelia are developing a really close friendship, and I like seeing them bonding -- both of them obviously care for Kimmie a lot, and I’m glad they’re sticking up for her even without proper funding. 

As for the preview for next episode, I’m not looking forward to the Jaggie bits, but I am wondering if Mer will get a new love interest (😏) given her lines in the preview, what the new gossip with Clive is, and if Owen will ever find out about Amelia/Koracick (also maybe something happens with Omelia too? 😏😏😏). Also, if Jolex doesn’t get engaged by the end of this season, I might throw my TV across the room.

Anyway, that’s all for my thoughts for this week. Hopefully I didn’t miss anything. What did you guys think about it? (Also, let me know if I accidentally offended or said something wrong about Islam and the Hijab above; if I did, I’ll remove it immediately.)

Until next week!

[jamiedodgerart]

the fade is a liar sometimes

aka, a really long post about how mal hawke survived dragon age inquisition. warning for big but kinda vague spoilers for dai and mentions of alcoholism

ok full disclosure i dont know how he survived the fade. but im thinking the nightmare like. didnt wake back up in time to block the way through the portal, and so never caused the Do I Kill The Warden Or Hawke dilemma. cos. that was kiiiiiiiinda bullshit. 

i had to pick between alistair and mal. and i really didnt want mal to be actually really dead bc at the time of here lies the abyss he’d be in a really shitty place, mentally, and i didnt want him to just! die! without resolving that! so i gave canon the finger and concocted a convoluted plan to give mal a better ending

background, after the events of da2, he ended up leaving kirkwall and fuckin’ around in the woods for a bit. i imagine he was helping refugees get out for a little while, until anders showed up and convinced him to help groups of renegade mages/circles on the verge of winning their independence. at this point he was pretty sick of the world at large, didn’t know what he wanted or where he was going to go next, and let himself be (guided? directed? pushed around?) by anders, drinking himself into oblivion and generally feeling like garbage. he fell out of contact with most of his remaining friends and began convincing himself that he was guilty for the explosion, by trusting anders (he’d suspected something was wrong with the ingredients anders was asking for and confronted him about it, but trusted him and helped him by distracting the grand cleric)

i rambled about this on my private twitter but mal and anders... ended up not being a great fit for one another and past me said it better than present me can

eventually, the inquisition came into being and grew in power. anders, still being a wanted man and mal too by association, avoided the inquisition’s patrols pretty easily. but stories started to spread about the inquisitor and his... particularly creative justice. see, pica really likes choices that have some poetic irony to them that also focus on rebuilding (he had alexius work for the mages, stuff like that), generally avoids executions, and is pretty chill with mages. the inquisition is also independent of any government, really, and is about as impartial as you can get in thedas. so when mal gets word from varric that corypheus is back, a problem, and something they need mal’s help with (that is also, in his professional opinion, his fault), he gets an idea.

he heads to skyhold, meets pica (who read the tale of the champion, asks varric questions about it constantly, was expecting a hero, and was not expecting the hero to be a depressed alcoholic) and iunno here lies the abyss happens with the aforementioned edit of no one important dying (i guess i could kill alistair and preserve a kind of important turning point in pica’s character with an added bonus of giving mal another thing to have survivor’s guilt about but i dont think i could go through with it. imagine the emotional toll. pica could get that change some other way anyway) mal by this point has gotten to know pica fairly well and has found what he’s heard to be true, and gives him a proposition

(i would like to add now that while ive read asunder, until i looked it up just now i didn’t remember where it sits in the timeline relative to da2, and it wasnt super clear to me just how much each of the two events affected the mage/templar war. so some text in sketches might be inaccurate, historically)

so you can imagine that anders is Pissed Off by this development, but justice is kinda like 

cos like. pica Is a real actual authority figure. who is down to dispense some quality justice esp re mages. and is coming at it from a “yo i know you meant well and you did kinda have a point but you also killed a lot of people so there does have to be Some kind of consequence of that”

(but neither of them are at all happy with mal turning them in)

anyway the trial ends up including a full investigation of the events in kirkwall, as well as the events at the spire (cole, rhys, and evangeline all give their testimony) and it’s more a straightening out of what was up with the whole start of this shitshow anyway, cos the confusion and misinformation about it is probably the worst part. 

pica finds anders guilty and sentences him to community service, which a lot of people disagreed with. pica thinks it was a GREAT IDEA though because that community service comes in the form of anders teaching the inquisition mages about healing magic!! something that anders is good at, loves doing, and can actually help people with!! why are we still fuckin about with herbs when there’s magic!!!!! this also has the added bonus of making mages less scary to the general populace- chuckin’ fireballs is a lot more alien and intimidating than healing up a broken arm, yknow? it can help mages seem more human and good for society than they were, separated from the public in towers.

anders is still a prisoner, though, which hes super not happy about, and part of his sentence is also that dagna gets to study him. he and samson are in grudging solidarity in the face of tolerating her extreme cheerfulness. and maybe he gets a cat too. i wonder if he and samson could talk about how shitty the chantry is re: lyrium addiction in templars? its obvs not on the scale of mage shittiness but it could be an interesting discussion

see in the grand scheme of things mal really didnt do all that much. he was duped by a lover into doing something he 100% would not have done if hed known what was actually going on. i feel like the most anyone could bust him on was aiding and abetting. and maybe helping hide an apostate. mal was found, as pica informally put it while distracted by looking at a transcript of a kirkwall templar’s testimony, “kinda guilty? just like. if ur asked to help blow up a chantry dont do it again” but cassandra elbowed him really hard and he said “look ok your sentence is, fuck, i dunno, work for the inquisition. what do you wanna do”

that was not what mal was expecting and he didnt have an answer. and pica looked at him and said “ill give you some time to figure it out, ok. just. take care of yourself, man. u look like shit” which got him another elbow, which he returned to cass with equal force

anyway. mal is now officially Not Guilty in the court of the law. which fuckin sucks bc that assessment does absolutely NOTHING to stop his shit brain from keeping being guilty about everything. so he tries to quit drinking, fails, and just has a rough time in general, while also sometimes visiting anders in prison. which probably really doesn’t help.

ENTER WARDEN-COMMANDER OF FERELDAN, MADRANA “MAD” TABRIS, AND HER PARTNER/GF/ADULT SUPERVISION EMMARIE “EMMY” COUSLAND

(you may also know mads as hester, as i called her in previous playthroughs. hester’s not a really elfy name and shes grown far enough away from her namesake that i felt a change was warranted. also emmy was created by @1500birds. i love her)

thats them (mads then emmy) so mad tabris, legendary fighter, unkillable blight-ender, bather in darkspawn blood, and general bottle covey is looking for a challenge. its been like ten years since shes had an actually hard battle to win and she’s near skyhold, and she’s heard that mal hawke, another legendary fighter, is also in the area. oh and some cadash guy. hes apparently good too. also, she’s looking for some way out of the whole grey warden death sentence thing. shes not keen on dying unless she’s killed, ydig, and apparently skyhold’s doing a lot of groundbreaking research these days

she and emmy swing on in to skyhold and finds that hawke is, well, a mess

important background. mads is not good at dealing with other peoples’ emotions. so shes not really equipped to deal with this. emmy, however, is kind, has nerves of steel, loves to help people, and is Very equipped to deal with this. and so the two of them adopt mal. (even though hes older than both of them.) 

theyve got really, really different ways of trying to help mal. emmy is a great listener, and understands survivor’s guilt and the lost-all-my-family brand of trauma pretty well. she helps him sort through all the shit that’s happened to him and offers a lot of support. and hugs. by god shes a hugger. also theyve got a symbiotic cuddling relationship bc emmy is always cold and mal is always warm, so they platonically nap together sometimes. mads is unfortunately too wriggly and pointy to be a good cuddler :’( she squeezes in the mix sometimes anyway though and it’s uncomfortable but nice

mads’s method of helping mal is in her area of expertise: getting out pent-up negative emotion by fighting. for a long time, mal has internalized a lot of shit, and mads is really good at annoying him into either yelling or punching out that shit. shes doing it out of concern for his well-being, she swears, and not because she takes joy in pissing people off. she does but thats not the point. it’s not a perfect strategy but it does help a lot

unfortunately for her, sometimes mal can be downright vindictive when drunk and angry, and can hit on the few things she’s insecure about

(i would really love to make a post about mads sometime, cos she ended up being a lot deeper of a character than i originally intended. i really just wanted a really sharp angry lady who fought with the subtlety of a brick to the face, and ended up getting that plus bravado covering up a whole host of insecurities. i feel like i should finish dao before writing it up though ahah)

(what mal said is also not totally accurate- mads cares very much for emmy. but yknow how when things get heated it doesn’t really matter if they’re really accurate anymore- they just have to be close enough to get a reaction, ydig)

anyway! the two of them together help mal get his life back in order- he cuts down and eventually quits drinking, starts taking better care of himself, and gets more of a handle on life. i guess you’re probably wondering where varric is, right around now. so am i mal pushed away a lot of people close to him after da2, including varric. but varric kept looking out for him (lying to cassandra to protect him, using his network of contacts to keep an eye on where he and anders were operating). when mal comes to skyhold i think he’d try to avoid varric out of guilt- yknow how when it’s been a really long time since you’ve talked to someone, and you know you should have called them back, but you never did, and they kept asking how you were, and you want to be in an actually good place before you call them back, but shit keeps happening, and it’s been like two years since youve said anything to them, and then you see them and do some serious acrobatics trying to stay out of their sight so you don’t have to confront their honest interest in your well-being that they have no right to still have after so long with no word from you, and you have to make it seem like you havent been avoiding them because that would be rude, and really it’s just easier to be constantly vigilant of where they are and make sure youve got plausible reason to be leaving casually yet quickly

well mal did that. emmy had to physically bar his way from escaping a room once when varric came in, and dragged him by the scruff of the neck to talk to him. varric was painfully understanding and ended up hitting it off nicely with emmy

so! someday mal gets a job. specifically, pica gives him one. because he still owes the world some community service. with his experience as a hunter and highwayman, he becomes a scout!

whoaaa color

more specifically, mal becomes a... specialized type of scout. some idiot who shall not be named but whose name sounds a whole lot like pica cadash gave him command of a small squad of scouts, heavier armored and armed than average inquisition scouts but not heavy enough to count as infantry soldiers. their job is to dismantle highwayman and rogue mercenary bands, in whatever way necessary. so! originally this was supposed to mean sneak attacks on their strongholds or whatever, but mal talked with him about his own experiences with crime (mostly that most people in his crew back then were in it out of necessity, and needed money to support family) and the squad kind of became. really heavy recruiters. it became kind of a joke that the inquisition would take anyone- and they would! practically any skillset could be used in an organization as big as the inquisition, and at this point it was still growing

like. barely any exaggeration here

so that’s where he is pre-trespasser! thank u for reading and if youve got questions or want to learn more PLEASE ask i lov my ocs and love talking about them

i want to add that in @1500birds‘s latest playthrough (miranda trevelyan, a pro-chantry mage cullenmancer) mal rags on cullen endlessly

that was supposed to be the playthrough where he survives the fade, but then bran realized that miranda would kinda hate mal and would 100% leave him behind

[howweratethings]

KH2: Final Mix

ahh yes, KH2, also known as the gold standard of any and all KH games to be developed and produced hereafter. the final mix version made its NA debut in the HD collection release, and it packs in a TON of new things in it, more than what was seen in KH1: Final Mix. it’s basically the extras you saw in KH1: FM but x10000 in content. there’s an insane amount of new scenes, bosses (ROXAS WHAT UP!!!!!), enemies, minigames, etc. it’s gratifying to see these scenes become widely available to the English-speaking fans, especially for the long-time fans who scoured the internet to find the extra cutscenes translated from JPN subtitles as they were actually voiceless at launch. god i’m so happy KH2: FM got released outside of japan!!!! 

if you want to read about all the changes made from KH2 to the FM version, click here.

Intro-Summary: Following the end of CoM, which ended with Sora & co. getting their memories restored and forgetting Namine and Castle Oblivion, Sora & said co. continue on their quest to find King Mickey and Riku. As they revisit old worlds and friends and meet new ones, Organization XIII (introduced in CoM) begin to pop up along Sora’s journey with their own mysterious and hidden intentions.

KH Re:Views

kh1: final mix / re:chain of memories / re:com - reverse/rebirth / 358/2 days / kh2: final mix (here!) / birth by sleep: final mix / dream drop distance / 0.2 -a fragmentary passage / kh3 / kh3: ReMIND dlc

game play

by far THE funnest game to play in the entire series. it strays very easily into button mash territory even on the boss fights, but i do still think it is a VAST improvement from how KH1 plays with how genuinely addicting it could get.

the reaction commands are one of my FAVORITE additions to the combat and you can tell that the dev staff put a lot of thought (and had a lot of fun) with a lot of the commands.

summons were my least favorite feature, they had some awkward timing in regards to how long they last and how their limit commands function into that time span

the drive forms are, i can definitely say, very cool but they weren’t…. as fun to play as i remembered them. it might have been because i was on proud mode, but sometimes it got a bit frustrating leveling up valor form on slightly tougher enemies since i prefer the cure spell over items. i had similar issues esp with wisdom form but it’s a bummer since i ADORE valor form.

LIMIT 👏  FORM 👏  IS 👏  BEST 👏  FORM  👏

the limit commands (not limit form) themselves were actually pretty cool!! much like the reaction commands, there’s a lot of thought that was put into them and i love it when the limit commands show off the character(s)’ personality. for example, aladdin acting playful with sora and jack skellington twirling sora around in a dance. and every single one of genie’s limit commands are AMAZING. he’s my favorite summon by far

THE ROXAS FIGHT IN TWTNW WAS REALLY, REALLY FUCKING HARD. i knew it was gonna be hard, but not that hard. it took me some 5-6 tries to beat him at the appropriate level!!! it’s a really well executed fight too

the jewelry/armor stuff is  👌 👌 👌 👌 in general i find that the UI a lot easier to use

kh2 atlantica was (still) a mistake

making the gummi routes a 3D rail shooter was a smart idea. it plays smoothly and is very fun too. being able to switch angles was likewise a galaxy-brained move

story

the story’s still a bit of a hot mess like its predecessor, sora is searching for riku and king mickey while the organization keeps scheming and poking at sora

not to say it was all bad? i used to hate how long kh2 prologue was, but i’ve come to appreciate its narrative function. now that i’m older, the prologue is ten times more tragic and heartbreaking than when i played it as a 10 year old

namine’s role in roxas’ story is also… much more tragic than how cutesy rokunami is typically portrayed (by fans and the game itself). the girl led this boy to the end of his existence and even if she DID try to ease his worries (”you won’t ‘disappear’, you’ll be whole” doesn’t help very much), i’m rather surprised roxas wasn’t as angry at namine as he was with DiZ (and riku, for that matter). but, i mean, she was in the same boat as he was so i guess it’s okay in the end

however, i still think kh2 did a real disservice to roxas and namine. namine’s defining trait was her desire to help sora (understandably), but i really wanted her to be something more than that (which she got with her extra scenes with axel and riku). roxas, on the other hand, was shown to be quite a foil of sora. he’s much more prone to anger and introverted, and i really wish we got to see more of that. it hurts so much that roxas had every right to be angry at sora and the world, butin this game he just has to accept his fate. it’s nice to see that sora sees the injustice of it all in later games because it’s a real bummer

i also really hate the scene where namine and roxas are like “we can be together again!” “yeah, anytime sora and kairi are together” because!!! they were never really together at all!!!!! never as themselves, at least, but only as sora and kairi! thankfully, the games produced after kh2 rectify this (moreso for roxas than namine) but it still really bothers me.

for the last story note, the disney worlds were integrated much better this time around. it was cool to revisit the worlds for story purposes because it gave sora more time to bond with the disney characters.

characters

hhmm i noticed during The World That Never Was (TWTNW) that sora gets more gung-ho about nobodies not "feeling emotions” because of their lack of hearts. he just seemed way more heated about that than his laid back personality usually is. it was weird, and some of the things he says to OrgXIII are downright harsh and ooc

roxas is a good, flawed character. he was so confused and deserves an explanation. i’ve already said it, but i really love how he plays as a direct foil to sora, something that even DiZ points out. he got dealt a poor hand to a game he didn’t even realize he was playing

namine should have gotten a bigger role, nuff said. i appreciate the added scene where sora tells riku he wanted to thank namine. i need him to actually thank her come kh3 though (edit: LMAO RIP ME)

luxord was? such a weird character? his personality was just? posh british gambler? there was a lack of depth in that one, one that didn’t fit (like xladin, who was also one-note but it did not come off as strange)

axel is my fourth favorite character overall but i think xigbar is the best written OrgXIII member. he’s just oozing with sneer, charisma, and “haha i know a Thing that you don’t”. and his VOICE!!!!! his is my second favorite voice acting work done after axel/quinton flynn.

graphics

still very good even after a decade!!! a big improvement from kh1. i’d say a lot of it is thanks to the brighter colors. kh1 was darkly colored, especially hollow bastion, which made things hard to see but kh2 improves a lot on that.

that being said, the bright saturated colors clashed HARD in PotC. like i understand software limitations but those cutscenes are embarrassing to watch now. i’m grateful that so much care was put into KH3 PotC world to avoid this eyesore.

i’m still very impressed that a game as big as KH2: FM could fit on a single PS2 disc. well done

art & design

when i was playing through yen sid’s tower the first time in this replay, i was just. floored by how tight and detailed the design of his tower was. kingdom hearts is a very precious and special series to me in many ways, now that i have a stronger visual aesthetic, the art & design that goes into each game is certainly one the main reasons why i love this series so much

speaking of, the heartless designs are JUST as good in this game as in KH1, and i’m really happy to say that the nobody mooks’ designs are ALSO fantastic. the contrast in the design philosophies guiding the heartless vs. nobody designs is sooo cool. with the heartless, you’ve got mostly cutesy, sometimes even non-threatening colorful plush monsters (though i admit that some of the non-emblem/pure heartless can be terrifying, but they’re not that prominent in kh2). but when you look at the nobodies, you get skin-tight, pale grey, vaguely uncanny valley human-esque horror creatures that twitch perpetually. it’s a delicious contrast

and none of the mook nobody designs have eyes!!! while most of the mook heartless are distinguished by their glowing yellow eyes. the nobodies are so damn creepy and i find it delightful

the world designs are, overall, amazing though i favor worlds with buildings more than those without (twilight town, radiant garden, and TWTNW vs. pride lands, agrabah, & the underworld). the architectural designs in KH2 are levels beyond what KH1 ever had. traverse was the only world even close, but even then it pales in comparison to radiant garden.

by the way, shoutout to KH2 for making the bottom-left command menus so damn stylish.

it’s a lot more flawed than my memories tell me, but it’s still the best game (so far). it’s strongest points are the gameplay and art design.

i give 8/10 (8.5/10 since it’s kh2:fm+ and i VERY much love all the additions from fm+, especially the puzzle pieces & limit form). it’s SUCH a big game and really worthy of all the praise (and criticism).

i might add more later, i got pooped out by the time i got to the graphics section. anyways, great game 8/10 would play again

[fmchiwon]

hello babies !!! i’m jin and this is the loml ryu chiwon aka c.won ( nineteen, model / child actor, elite’s lead dancer & vocal, and the sweetest boy to ever exist ) nD I RLY SHOULDN’T BE JOINING bc school n exams are a goddamn mess thnx ***………..but i still love u dw anw i’m here and i’m super hyped!!! u can find me on discord or twt (u can ask me for either!!) but i’ll mostly be on the im’s jsghfhdj . like this post pls and i’ll (v eagerly) come to you to plot!!! meanwhile u can find chiwon’s bio here and plots here (wip!) for ur viewing pleasure but w/o further ado here is some stuff abt him under the cut!

#1

just clearing stuff up bc his bio wasn’t that explicit and detailed! 

has been in the industry since he was five unfortunately n started out as a child model / actor

his family wasn’t that well-off but his parents had big dreams!!!! big hopes!!!! just……. not for themselves but for him…… mostly bc they missed their chance to shine a long time ago so now they’re projecting their aspirations onto him aka using him as an outlet to fulfil their dreams smh

he signed on with hjh ent at first but he found it so ?? stifling ???? esp since he had to grow up under the limelight and it was altogether just Tiring

modelling n stuff rlly took a toll on him bc he was expected to manage himself even at a young age and it stressed him out ??? ? ? ? so much, altho he got to hang out w the #starz but yea not enough compensation

it was kinda expected that along the way he discovered a passion for dance?? like i mean he was surrounded by idols…. and he often skipped modelling / acting lessons just to watch the sunbaes in the practice rooms

so he was more than happy when his contract was set to expire when he was 15,, he got the fuck out of that hellhole even tho his mom disapproved

their relationship has been tense ever since, mostly bc they lost their main source of income and she doesnt rly talk to him unless for him to send money back to their family

kinda has beef with hjh now, doesn’t make a habit of associating w them much. as a result, there have been like…….. wild rumors abt his absence and leave from the company

but in aug/sept of 2012, he secretly went for an audition that worldwide media was having, and entered as a trainee in october with dance

yeh now he’s here anxiously waiting for elite’s debut

#2

if u knew him, u’d be surprised at how much on-camera chiwon = off-camera chiwon

the only difference that on camera chiwon is calmer and kinda intimidating bc his stage presence is off the charts?? 

but his smile is one of the first things people notice simply bc of how prominent and bright it is, n he’s vvvvv charismatic and always makes u feel like the most important person in the world whenever he talks to u bc he focuses all his attention on u

he’s literally always the epitome of bubbly and affable, whether u know him personally or not!! v playful friendly and energetic and always tries to see the best in people, it’s almost to the point which it’s unrealistic

never seen without a smile on his face, he always has enough love to go around. constantly the moodmaker!!! he’s super perceptive to his surroundings so once he senses the atmosphere going down he’s immediately there to bring it up

doesn’t seem forced at all, 100% genuine and ppl actually doubt him for it bc how has the cruelty of the industry not wear you down?

but ha it actually has, he’s actually hella insecure about a lot of things except that he doesn’t let anyone in on his feelings, cries a lot into his pillow when he thinks no one’s around and makes sure that he’s always bright and happy the next day

he never lets anyone even think for a second that he’s upset or smth though, whatever he does feels really genuine

on a s/n Drop Dead Gorgeous is he even real

LIKE FOR REAL HE’S SO FUCKIN HANDSOME 2017 adonis @ his finest

knows how to make everyone happy (except for himself…..) and in a way its a substitute for him to fill up on his own deprivation of love n happiness

but he has the biggest heart, tries to take time out to help everyone when he can, and is super affectionate and can come off as overbearing / overwhelming at times

but he’s also a Heartbreaker ; /  mostly bc he’s super nice n flirty to everyone and it can be kinda misleading at times? BUT ITS NOT INTENTIONAL especially since he doesn’t seem to understand that it’s not ok to go around dropping random kisses on people and proclaiming his love for them all the time

once secretly dated a female trainee to protect her from the company finding out that she was gay

but that quickly turned into rumors wherein he dated another male trainee which….. may not be entirely false

a good friend, will always make time to listen to u and offer comfort

in a lot of ways he’s like a shelter and has been described as such by a lot of people that are close to him? mostly bc of how reliable and sturdy he is and how much he’s willing to take just about everyone in

haha but when he gets angry thats a whole different story

has the ability to stand up for others and will never hesitate to do so, esp if he doesn’t like what ur doing. he’s v stubborn and strongly-opinionated, however he’s almost always unable to stand up for himself, and instead he absorbs all the criticism he hears and takes it to heart

humble to the point of demeaning. he doesn’t believe that he would even be here without his members and (family…..ish)

gets a lot of hate for his singing bc when knetz heard his voice in one of their earlier releases they were like uhhhhhhhhh whomst and got a lot of criticism, mostly bc they think he’s just another untalented pretty face and that’s it

like but he’s constantly improving? and he rlly rlly works super hard to be better, and now he even drops small covers sometimes

ok but dance is the goddamn love of his life )-: posts a lot of dance covers and choreographs some dances too!

tries to contribute by learning how to compose and write lyrics, he’s constantly learning n experimenting w the help of the staff and his group members

SPEAKING OF WHICH he’s a total softie 4 them ok like to the level where he would give anything up for his members they’re his FAMILY n literally the only ppl who he’s ever seen him down

v loud, makes his presence known almost immediately

also he’s so!!!!! boyfriend!!!!!! icb

a TREE he’s so tall smh (perfect 4 u to lean on, cuddle, and be the small spoon to)

fashion is another passion of his, his entire wardrobe = fashion week all year long

a little hard to get super, seriously close to though bc of how much he bottles up inside himself. but he’s a little way too trusting and that fact gets taken advantage of a lot

has pet names for everyone

looks like he cant be taken srsly but he’s really observant and sharp, listens and watches his surroundings and hence he can AND will use ur words against u if u go against them

HE’S JUST A SWEETHEART TRYING 2 MAKE IT IN THIS JUNGLE OK thank u <3

if u read till here u deserve a gold medal

#3

i’m rly just here to develop my chara so i’m definitely open to any kind of plots at all! i mean it when i say that so plsplspls hmu w any ideas u may have whatsoever!!! or at least until i sort out a proper plots page or smth yikes…

[oikyskau]

ugh i'm so glad i don't do twitter, this shit just reminds me that lgbt couples have to put twice as much work in(and interracial couples even more so) as str8 ones to be seen as an actual couple and even then ppl will keep moving the goalposts (i'm getting flashbacks to an f/f otp of mine who got the same bs thrown towards them DESPITE being clearly shown as a couple for years and getting married at the end of the show. but sure, just gals being pals right? they got married PLATONICALLY)

twitter is certainly a mess rn, the problem lies as well in the absolute lack of thought ppl put into their own opinions lmao literally all of them are quoting a single thread that completely disregarded all previous relationship development malec went through bc they want ‘normal moments’

i mean i agree that some of the interaction between magnus and alec should be less plot-driven, but id rather their conversations be meaningful than meaningless. (the actual problem has always been the lack of physical intimacy but we ought not forget that the 207 backlash came up when they were filming 215 so they couldnt change anything before that)

i think one thing that i find extremely infuriating is that stupid “i dont know why they love each other!!!” bs bc it shows, just as you said, how much more work lgbtq couples and especially!! interracial ones have to do to be seen as in love. like.. if you want to know why they love each other: watch the show. its there. dont disregard the conversations they had about mental health, about their insecurities esp those pertaining to romance, the absolutely sweet way they behave around each other..(little wonder woman spoilers for emphasis!!) steve told diana he loved her at the end of the movie, theyd known each other for.. who knows???? no one cares. they went through a lot of shit together so they love each other.magnus and alec know each other for approx. 6 months (i think it was alberto who said that 2a is about 5/6 months long? but even if it wasnt its enough time emotions dont work like we want them to), tell each other they’re in love after going through a life or death experience and ppl are saying it was rushed.……idk what to tell you its pretty obvious whats happening here.

we should focus on the actual problems of their rep and not make others up