#esp since im still slowly reading the books

[xejune]

that was the last of last year's abandoned sketches/WIPs!

but if you'd like to see more of my art, reminder that my commissions are open :3c

(or you can or just wait for when i next finish a drawing ✨️)

[awrkive]

hi dee! this is gonna be such a long message and i hope u read the entirety when you got time ♥️ english is not my first language so im sorry if this is not exactly cohesive.

ive been reading ffs since since 2017 and i really feel u came right out of the 2017-2020 era of bts x reader fanfic community bcs the way u write makes me reminisce about those times. idk if this is just me being picky, but i feel like fics nowadays are focusing too much on the smutty parts instead of actually building a world around their characters. and i dont usually mind smut or pwp fics, i enjoy them time to time. but the problem with it is that it's honestly all i ever see now, esp with jungkook fics.

it feels like no one really wants to write a proper fanfic anymore? some of my fave x reader authors before here are gukyi, vankoya, btsmeetsweevil, kpopfanfictrash, fortunexkookie, prolixitae and many more that i cant really name anymore – all of which have deactivated or inactive now – and one thing about them was that as much as they wrote smut, there was actually more to their stories.

and that is honestly what i feel about your writing. its so simple but so profound in a way? like its so easily digestible but the simplicity of it does not exactly equate to plainness? i feel like the trend of writing pwp is to gain more traction (which was also a trend back then, but not to the point of overpowering) but i love that you dont exactly succumb to that and instead take time to build the world of ur characters in such a way that makes me feel so connected to them.

i just LOVEE how u create these backstory for ur main leads. like with nb, we are witnessing two strangers getting along with each other slowly but surely, and with tlp, we are witnessing two best friends navigating a crucial point in their lives relating to romance between them. and the YEARNING, the LONGING, and just the TENSION that you make me feel with those? its just so incredibly insane. the giddiness of it all – you dont get that from fics who just go straight right into sex.

and i know its just fanfiction and its not supposed to be that deep, but tbh fanfic is just as much of a form of art as other "published books" – esp when theyre written so well like yours.

i apologize if this is coming off as a rant at this point. i think im just frustrated with the lack of creativity im seeing nowadays with bts fanfics all over tumblr thru ao3, and ig im just frustrated that i cant bring back the golden era of 2017-2019 (or 2020 if u will) anymore for fanfics. but thank you so much for reviving that feeling for me♥️ i also know youre busy with college and all that, and im really really greatful you lend time to share ur writing with us all for free ♥️ i really adore your talent!! i hope u write for a long time ♥️♥️

- 🌱

this has been sitting on my inbox for the past three days and ive honestly just been rereading and rereading this over and over again because im so incredibly touched?

i agree that 2017-2020 was the best era for x reader bts ff esp 2018. writers were really putting in the work, and i just love how you mentioned all those lovely people. miss guyi (gukyi), miss ivory (vankoya), and miss lu (prolixitae) were some of my favorite blogs here EVER and they wrote some of the best fanfics in my life that i still read over and over again up to this time. they were literally a few of my inspo to also write fanfic on my own – and im so glad u think that my writing can make u feel like the way u do when u read theirs, bcs that means a whole lot to me!!

the bts fanfic community has truly changed for the past few years. prob cos the fandom has grown bigger overtime and things will just never be the same as they were before. its a huge factor that the great ff writers before are busy with their adult lives now and even if i myself am not really that much into reading ffs anymore these days, i still believe we'll pick up being better on the oncoming years!!

and lastly ur english is great and thank you so Freaking MUCH for sending this in. i truly am so moved and touched by this message 🥹 i hope u are having a great day wherever u are 🌱 anon!!

[roguestarsailor]

You know what since we’re still in quarantine and i have nothing else better to do, i need to obsess over ACOTAR. I don't like a court of frost and starlight. For the longest time I couldn't figure out why I didn't like it. I aggressively read the book in maybe a day and I closed it feeling frustrated and annoyed. My version had A Court of Silver Flames preview so that definitely contributed to my annoyance greatly.

It's because it felt too perfect. Everything that had happened -- after the entire war was fought and won, they just go back to their normal lives? Yes there were hiccups and yes there were still aspects that made every IC character feel like their problems aren’t solved yet...but it didnt feel right. yes i enjoyed the snowball fight between the bat boys, feyre + rhys sexy time, and those little comfort moments too, the slice of life type things and seeing feyre accomplishing her goals and how hopeful the future seems BUT its too fast. the good parts of the book did not offset the bad parts of it.

Feyre literally accomplished pretty much every single goal she made back in ACOMAF just like that?? within a span of what a few months? a year?? She really came back from an entire war -- probably the first war of many since she's immortal and just like that, after her 21st birthday: she gets a whole entire estate, wants to start poppin babies, opens her art studio and starts teaching kids and then acting like she can rule an entire court?? the timeline is sooo short esp since its been brought up over and over again how everyone is literally 500 years old and have a super “messy” history and their changes seems to come super dupe slowly. but feyre, who has only lived 0.000000002% of her fae life, is out here thriving just fine???

the war devastated thousands of illyrian soldiers where its changing the politics of the illyrains and the faes, all of whom feyre has responsibilities over too as high lady. the mortal queens are still at large who left the humans on prythian to die which is why feyre was willing to go to war in the first place! what about the rest of hybern and their land and residents?? they wanted to enslave humans for social and economical reasons! then what about integrating humans w deep hatred and fear with deeply prejudice fae??? there’s also spring and summer court who are literally in ruins. thats literally so much. so idk how feyre is just chillin???? she gonna let rhys do all the hard work???

like feyre sit down. u should not be having a baby. esp since it took u literally a 700 pages to heal from those 3 months UTM. ur telling me shes gonna whole heartedly bring in a newborn in a war devastated world, with civil unrest (illyrains, other courts), with the messiness of human and fae integration, with trauma u and rhys will have to continue to overcome esp after THIS war??? even helping ur sisters w their traumas??

this is a personal opinion on this subject (and maybe my thoughts will change on this later on; opened to other thoughts) but when i read the part about how that weaver/seamstress artist who made that dark quilt that feyre loved talked about how her mate of 300 years didn’t come back from the war and her biggest regret was that she didnt have a kid to remember him by i just thought ur kid isn’t some sort of memorabilia. don’t have a kid to keep the memory of ur mate alive; have a kid cuz u want a kid purely for the sake of having a kid. ur memories and photos and shit will keep their memory alive but its not having a kid. some primitive need to keep the genes alive maybe?? but the way it was phrased and then in turn how feyre was like oh i need  a baby pronto cuz rhys might die in the next war and regret not having a kid with him didn’t sit right with me. also the other couple were together for +300 years and have a rich life together, while shes been with rhys for literally two years THATS NOTHING IN FAE YEARS. thats still the honeymoon phase and also ur problems arent even close to being over!!!

everyone was shitty to nesta. in ACOMAF, we saw how much the IC went through and still did all they could to help feyre. what made them not think nesta deserve the same welcome? nesta is mean as a defense but did no one try to figure out what would help (amren got close but shes so under developed)??? feyre knows nesta feels too much and yet she continued to be shitty. continued to flaunt her wealth, her status, her familiarity/borderline know-it-all attitude about fae/night court, her ~estate~. forcing nest to the solstice party when nesta was literally like i dont belong, im looking at everyone through a window type of thing; the fire cracking triggering her, etc. what kind of power play was that when she made nesta come to her estate, where nesta could SEE how ~homey~ and how suscessful feyre is and fully see all the lovely paintings of everyone feyre loves that explicitly exclude her to tell her to fuck off to a war camp?? bro???? cas was a dick too and elaine was rude. i think a lot of his actions were meant to make her angry since anger keeps u fighting (as was the method of rhys for feyre in ACOMAF) but what he said was stupidly shitty and i demand that he apologize properly. elaine could have done more to help her sister but whatever. mor was definitely an ass too (and im upset for how little her character growth is). 

Lucein. that man can’t catch a break tbh. im happy that hes w the band of exiles cuz he is whole heartedly accepted there. feyre was definitely an asshole to him even tho he helped as much as he could throughout the books. he tries so hard w elaine as well and it did hit my heart a bit when she was like gloves to work in my garden?? no ?? i use my bare hands see oNly aZiReL sEeS mE fOr WhO i Am. and at the same feyre is like flaunting her mate status to lucein which is mean as shit. its like this man can’t find love in prythain. then tamlin sending him his box of his things??? thats for sure brutral. tam was literally his partner through it all; savior of sorts even. no love from IC, no love from elaine, no love from feyre, no love from tamlin, no love from autumn court rejected everywhere! also HIS TRUE FATHER?? HEllo??? 

then on tamlin. i pity the guy! was i suppose to feel that way??? it felt like he is allowed to get a redemption arc and maybe i’ll even root for a redemption arc??? i was absolutely excited for freysand in ACOMAF but after ACOFAS, im like tamlin is....not completely bad??? his relationship w feyre was bad and the controlling parts were very much a no-no. i dont truly understand the dynamics of an abusive relationship but i can understand that it can be insidious and its the little things that hurt the victim. and i felt  feyre through ACOMAF and rooted for her to escape her abuser! but then it felt like i dont think he was doing any of those things out of malice. ill say tamlin is a bad leader and doesn’t know how to run a court outside of what he sees his father do. his understanding on everything is based on the traditions of the past which i think fueled most of the things he did i.e. not telling feyre she was in danger since maybe his mom didn’t do those war planning things. ACOTAR showed how he truly cared/loved and took good care of feyre and her family. he even talked about how he didn’t believe in the enslavement of humans! i think that tam wanted to preserve what he thought was the good (aka feyre + her love of painting) and get back a sense of control that he and his entire court lost while chained to amarantha. but at the same time, i think he truly thought feyre wasn’t safe. he knows rhys can crush minds and knows feyre can’t read/write so when he got that letter telling him shes safe of course hes gonna flip shit and made a deal w the devil (although those temper outbursts were DEFINITIVELY not ok!!!). he also didn’t listen and has sense of he knows best when feyre was not the type of person. but feyre destroyed his entire court. he lost all his sentries who literally went out to die for him during amarantha’s reign. he lost lucien too; his trusted right hand man. his people were cursed for 50 years and then continued to suffer UTM and was in the process of rebuilding too!  but just seeing spring court, WHO BORDERS THE HUMANS, be in ruins where his subjects left him, his people left him and hes all alone in the manson?? that was sooo sad. so im like why does what feyre did not feel satisfactory????? im mad that it didn’t feel right??? maybe there wasn’t a point where feyre talked to tamlin -- like really talked to him esp w her new found voice and power, etc. anyways, i dont hate tamlin and was like oh shit i think feyre fucked up a bit there.

rhys is a dick to nesta. which made me think, if feyre wasn’t his mate would he extend the same love and care to her???  i loved how he tried so hard to make sure feyre was ok. made sure she wasn’t breaking! all of it! but for nesta, he had the audacity to use his high lord voice and be an ass overall. even tho he can see how cas is fucken in love??? even just how he talks to cass feels off too. 

i’ll even go as far as to say because of how terrible ACOFAS was, it created this intense divide within the fandom. i remember reading the first three books and was absolutely 1) rooting for freysand  2) curious about the sister relationship and how it will be mended 3) i definitely didn’t hate nesta nor did i hate elaine either -- but i was adament about them talking it out with feyre for those tough times 4) saw a more realistic and charming healing arc 5) was rooting for feyre to be a stronger voice and grow into herself 6) love the dynamic of the inner circle + feyre

but after ACOFAS, I have this intense need to defend nesta and was super mad at how she was treated after the war and in turn a deep dislike for elaine for both her lack of agency, lack of grit that made all the other characters interesting, and lack of care for her sisters (who showed how much they would risk for her). i dont hate rhys but i was extremely not happy with him and his attitude and behavior. feyre became more arrogant and was acting like how asshole rhysand would act. like her life is perfect now and i was not rooting for her anymore. freysand didn’t feel like they have complimenting qualities that made them interesting in the first place but rather they are merging to become the same person but in a bad way. that mind reading thing was cute in the beginning but it became insufferable since all thoughts were shared so seamlessly it made reading feel weird. 

anyways those are my thoughts on ACOFAS. it was a 1/5 stars for me and im mad those events transpired. reading the other books made me excited to know what was gonna happen and i was truly ready to accept the characters as flawed and nuanced as they are. im not mad about character not liking each other but i am mad that everything felt off. ACOFAS just felt regressive in some parts and forced in other parts. i know not everything ends in a nice tied up bow but this book single handily ruined what i thought about these characters in the worse way possible. this book wasn’t suppose to wrap up all the problems that exists in the other books but it didn’t feel hopeful like i thought it would. it didn’t feel wrapped up and didn’t feel like i should be excited about the next books. theres so many missing pieces i feel that i think need explaining and at the same time, i think it introduced too many problems at once which made it feel like its jumping around everywhere. although im still excited for ACOSF because i love nesta, and nesta deserves so much better and i want to have hope that this bad ending will either make sense later on or it was just a blimp.

[thoi2020]

u have advanced??????? wow. tips to qualify mains please??? help me with my modules.how do i solve them?????????

hnnng idk bestie here's some short tips n like if u want something more specific u can send another ask or dm me?

pay attention in class. sit in the front. listen out for what things the teacher puts an emphasis on. ask questions. yes, even the stupid ones. especially the stupid ones bc those are fundamentals u cannot miss bc a shaky foundation leads to a shaky building. also pay attention to ur teachers. theyve been doing this since before u even knew about jee they know what theyre doing. most of them want whats best for u, and if not specifically that, whats best for them n their institute which are usually similar things. im not saying blindly trust them without criticism but have some faith. dont dismiss them they prolly know better than u. if id followed my teachers instructions i prolly wouldnt have had to drop (but thats a discussion for another day lol).

revise notes on a regular basis. like. the day u studied it in class. then the next day. then a week later. then 2 weeks later. then a month later. google the curve of forgetting for more accurate time stamps. use flashcards for formulae n stuff that u have to memorise like inorganic chem.

analyse past papers. recognise the most important topics. but also there are some small chapters that are quite easy and some people skip them thinking there wont be any questions from them. ive given 4 papers of mains, and i can confirm that is utter bullshit. 1 question each from units and measurements, mathematical reasoning, stats, chemistry in everyday life, polymers, are guaranteed. u can easily secure at least those marks by spending just a little bit of time on them. esp for jee mains its relatively better to cover a wide range of topics with medium depth instead of just some but with deep understanding (the latter works well for advanced tho).

make a friend or two whos in the same boat as u, preparing for jee n try to keep each other accountable. tell each other everyday what ure going to study that day n then check back the next day. remind each other hlep each other out. also be friendly with the class toppers sometimes they can solve ur doubts better than teachers just bc something they explain clicks better. whenever i get confused about logarithms i think back to what my 9th grade classmate told me when i asked him to explain in 1 sentence n had him repeat it slowly to me multiple times. its burned in my memory and helped me so much. 

practice tests. set the proper 3 hour limit and solve them. be honest w urself ure doing this for u. no point scoring 256/300 to impress ur teacher if u cheated bc on the day of the exam ure going to be screwed. in the beginning try out different strategies, different ones work for different ppl. like for me, math is my favourite and i find it easier than the other 2 so i do it first and it gives me confidence. then i move on to physics and then chem. some people look over the entire paper n solve the easiest from every section first, then the medium ones, then the tough ones. experiment in ur practice tests n figure out whats best for u n ur test taking. after the test, analyse. see what u got wrong, why u got it wrong. clarify doubts. mark problem questions to revise and solve again later. no point in solving more n more questions if theres no retention or learning.

for solving books specifically under the cut bc this is getting too long lol:

stick to 1 or 2 books max per subject. make them ur holy books and swear by them. if ure doing coaching then the modules provided by them are a very good option bc theyre specifically for jee and will cover what u need. coaching teachers will have a lot of experience with them too so u'll have an easy time with doubts clarification. if u choose other books tho, still consult with ur teacher and ask them to tell u what's relevant and what isnt and dont waste ur time on whats not. it might make u look or feel smarter to be solving questions on stuff thats beyond the scope of the exam but u literally dont need it and the syllabus is already very vast so ure just going to waste time and brainspace. like sure if ure interested study it in ur own time but dont make it an Important Must Do thing.

ok now that u have ur book with everything relevant to jee, make sure u devour them. study the theory alongside ur class notes. solve a few questions of corresponding topics the day they are covered so u dont have so many questions lined up at the end of the chapter. like if i studied friction in newton's laws of motion today, i'll solve the questions relevant to friction today itself. or u know this week. like,, keep it current. then while solving, speak out loud and explain the problem to urself like ure teaching someone else (or better yet, find someone to teach them to. stuffed toys, younger siblings, ur classmate, grandparents, online friend, whichever works). mark all the questions that took u longer than 5 mins or u cant solve at all. dog ear the pages. try them again the next day. then again a few days later. take the ones u still cant solve to ur teacher. try n ask for just a hint once and try again. and then if u cant then ask for the solution. DO NOT go on the internet. ur brain doesnt have to work for it then n u think u got it but u dont got it. make ur brain work for the solution so it'll remember. 

now that uve given a good shot to every question and figured out where u stumble. analyse a bit. find a pattern if theres any: like a certain concept that is weak or something ure not understanding. read the theory for it if u have to n ask questions to clarify. then solve these problem questions again and again until u know every question well enough to be able to explain to someone. skip over the easy ones u dont gotta do them again n again, focus on the ones u stumbled on. theyre the weak spots. no use strengthening whats already strong enough.

and uh keep a notebook of the solutions of the questions u solve so that u dont have to go crazy searching for them in an emergency. like ur paper is tomorrow and u cant figure out this question that uve been trying for 1 hour then its a good time to review ur previous solution and refresh ur memory. often if uve practiced enough n its just exam stress etc thats making ur mind go blank then just a hint will be enough to remind u.

also this is more general but just. be consistent. small consistent efforts over multiple days instead of a big one in 1 day. u’ll retain better and ur brain does better with multiple small chunks spread out over an interval than a lot of stuff in a small one. and its ok to to have an off day dont kill urself over academics ur health is more important always. not getting into ur dream college might fuck u up but itll heal but ur health is more precarious and not getting enough sleep or food will def fuck u up and the consequences are a lot harder to deal with. dont think about the big picture or u’ll freak urself out just think about the next small step u can take. getting 99 percentile feels impossible but solving 10 questions for it does not. dont get disheartened by test results if ure working hard n smart u wont fail. even if u dont get into ur dream college u’ll have an excellent work ethic that’ll take u places u never thought of in ur wildest dreams. more than anything, be kind to urself and work n play hard.

[cabin-13]

u said self indulgent nico hcs?? 👀👀

ajkdsjkkj when I say self-indulgent, it’s Self-Indulgent and i pretty much ignore richard’s canon / haven't reread the books from either series in a long time nor have i read toa but if ur really interested... (long post ahead, sorry!)

nb nico is top tier 

goes by he/they pronouns 

touristcore aesthetic that’s slowly encroaching into e-person territory

he’s The Blueprint

likes thorn from the hex girls (even the reboot ver.) but digs dusk’s look more

how is this related u may ask?

yeah, i answer

idc abt canon so he and drew are bitchy friends and drew rags on his appearance constantly while brushing his hair but throws in self-care tips btwn loving insults

nico: you know im not a boy right

drew: doesnt change the fact you look like a wet rat, sweetie <3

i will forever stand by reynico being (platonic) soulmates and im gonna b extra self-indulgent and say they were friends in previous lives too and that’s why they vibed w each other so well <3 

speaking of previous lives, well.... heh..

(no but really, this hc is kinda embarassing but , if u want elaboration uhhhhhhhhhh)

i know nico only has like. a 5th grade education but i like to think he would be a good student ... if anything i think hades would at least homeschool him with the ghosts of (famous) teachers ??? he seems to be naturally curious and he’s kind of a smart ass (not in a mean way) in canon idk

polyglot nico! polyglot nico! polyglot nico!!!! he becomes the go-to translator at camp ( like he isn't already sjkjskjdk) 

yes he would know asl. why? bc i said so and rick needs to include include some hoh/deaf characters within the greek/roman pantheon <3 (if there is, not counting hearthstone from mcga)

leo finds out abt nico knowing spanish bc he once snorted at a joke he said and now leo won’t stop telling him shit like “¿cuál es la fruta que más se ríe? .... la naranja, ja, ja, ja --”

ironically has the best hair at chb (rick once said the di angelos had silky hair in the titan’s curse i think + reyna said something abt his hair too in boo ?? i'll have to check...) once he cleans up and the aphrodite kids are seething

nico’s hair starting to gray at a young age is also an interesting concept ! i think tumblr user fuocogo drew something ft that and it stuck with me

really self indulgent but he’s roman at heart (maybe even Literally. i read somewhere that an italian fan said the di angelos fit the desc. of modern day romans better than venicians ?? if i find it, i’ll link it >>>)

 i like to think his family are legacies of victoria seeing as he’s always one of the key pieces / an important informant for winning both wars ... plus his grandpa was a diplomat and uhhh idk where I was going w this ngl

speaking of family, I need to know if the di angelo bloodline no longer exists assuming maria was an only child and there was no mention of any other di angelos aside from her parents ..? i like the idea of nico finding out that he has more family tho !!

also I would love it if rick cleared up where and when he met maria pls and thank u <3

I MISS BABY NICO’S PERSONALITY SM ... which is why i propose that whenever one of his friend’s see his eyes sparkling and arms waving while he babbles abt whatever topic, they think it’s really cute !!!! like !! keep talking !! 

 he gets embarrassed when he sees his friends smiling at him but it kinda makes him a bit teary eyed bc it’s been so long since he was able to talk abt his interests without being shut down / forcing himself to keep quiet because he felt like he was being too childish/annoying

what im saying is that he should be able to act like a kid bc he is one !!!! he's 14 !!!!!

he either has the cutest laugh or the weirdest laugh and it strictly depends on who ur asking

i feel like he sneezes like a kitten...............he sneezes and everyone whips their head around to look at him and he’s never wanted to dig a hole and put himself in it more than now

i like the imagery of tinkling bells being associated with him so im gonna sayyy he would have a necklace with a little bell (something like this kinda ??) and yes, leo would’ve made it for him as a joke kinda but not really

valdangelo (either as a friendship or nah) is underrated

like ur telling me this kid has a metal dragon and builds the coolest things ever and nico doesn't even think it’s a little bit cool ?? nah. rr did them dirty.

the kids at camp love him and i won't take no for an answer

he brings out ye ol’ mythomagic figurines to explain/show them the monsters and gods of the greek pantheon

it’s a win-win situation bc he gets to babble abt his hyperfixation and the kids get to learn abt what they're gonna get into in a way that’s better than the camp orientation film (since nico’s literally the only one who’s seen it ((but i think the stolls wanted to check it out too ??)) )

they give him a “camp’s best counselor <3333” mug and he cries abt it to reyna and hazel

yes he’s wearing an unusual amount of friendship bracelets no he's not gonna take them off shut up

unfortunately im team short!nico bc i want 2 see him get engulfed by the hugs his sisters (yes this includes reyna) and friends give him !!! 

he wears demonia platform sneakers / doc martens (and converse but that’s p much a given) thank you <3

piper/nico friendship ... I Need It

they borrow each other’s clothes constantly

leo and them clown on jason  and jason is Suffering but he loves them all so it’s ok 

piper could probably carry nico 

nico stress bakes 

yeah

he and clovis become good friends and hang out in the dream world and u know what, im gonna say they’re cuddle buddies too. clovis seems like he would give nice hugs !

im a sucker for nico having friends from different pantheons too !!! also becoming sort-of friends with gods/immortals of different pantheons !!

the underworld demigod discord gc is cursed; one moment they're all talking abt how they're pretty much fated to stay in the underworld while they're both living and after they die but the next moment someone says they want a hug and a chorus of “yeah...”’s follows.

nico was a momma’s boy most definitely 

speaking of which, i like to think that while him and bianca looked like their dad and mom respectively, it would’ve switched when they got older ?? idk

autistic nico ..... rick make it canon and not btwn the lines......

idk how to explain this one bc it’s just Plain Weird but . i feel like . nico would like?? hang out under his bed ??? maybe i’ll draw a pic or something and edit this later sjjdjkddk

this is just me projecting but he hates looking at mirrors / seeing himself in photos bc the person he sees doesn't match the person he sees in his head ?? if that makes sense ??? like he doesn't look like the nico he used to be bc of how much his appearance changed ? idk

uhhh he sometimes hallucinates, esp when he was in tartarus and in the month after coming out of the jar

maybe i’ll elaborate on this later ..

i need more annabeth and nico friendship pls...... both of them like/liked percy and now he can't stop getting clowned 

HOWEVER.... if I see one more “not his/my type” joke im going to delete my tumblr

speaking of which, i have a conspiracy theory abt Things, but i don't wanna get my ass sniped into next tuesday

introvert leo forcing himself to be the group comedian even though he’d much rather be with machines and extrovert nico who pushes ppl away so he doesn't get hurt but desiring the company of another type vibes. im not gonna elaborate.

his latest hyperfixation is pokemon and his favorite pokemon are gengar and skitty, but jirachi and mimikyuu are close seconds

has a crush on N Harmonia  and a bunch of the male gym leaders no im not gonna elaborate

this isn't a hc but. rick u really gotta stop writing abt ppl automatically distrusting nico because of his appearance / godly parent (although some were kinda warranted based of their personal history even though nico still pulled through in the end)  im getting tired of reading abt ppl wanting to like. hurt him or Actually hurting him for stuff he didn't have control of sjkjsjkdsjkdk (like wtf happened with frank when hazel got poisoned?? I thought frank actually liked nico ahjkjsjkf) 

uhhhhh that’s p much it ??????  sorry for the long ass post .. maybe i’ll write abt him more if ppl really want me to...

[mortuarybees]

☼ book a&c

☼ - appearance headcanon

no but really i tend to alternately imagine aziraphale as like, an older chubbier richard ayoade or a blonde oscar wilde bc i saw an art one time like that lavender scarf and all and i am WILD about that (i cant find it Someone Pls Link) in either case with big round glasses and a glasses chain despite the fact that he never really takes them off so the chain is like, entirely unnecessary, he just likes the Librarian Aesthetic. i think that aziraphale isn’t super politically engaged most of the time (certain periods being excepted for various reasons, including the 80s and 90s) especially since the early 20th century unless it’s required for assignments just bc he really cant be bothered to do much more than read the paper, but i do think the clothes industry is something he’s actually weirdly extremely Tuned Into? based entirely on the fact that we’re told that he buys clothes rather than creating them for moral reasons flksjl i think he’s just vehemently opposed to fast fashion and insists on getting his clothes from ethical sources. he wears the most hideous handknitted fair isle sweaters and sweater vests youve ever seen that hes been commissioning from a family run yarn supply store down the street since the 70s, over loudly printed shirts (esp plaid) from liberty london which tbh i dont know if their claims to sustainability are legitimate but i know oscar wilde shopped there and so aziraphale still does and he’s a master of believing what he wants to so i think their various pledges and memberships are enough for him to keep buying shirts like this when a shirt wears out. harris tweed slacks that are just the worst fit youve ever seen bc he wants them loose and comfy. also he still to this day goes to goodyear’s, the same flower shop wilde went to, and gets a green carnation to wear on his lapel, and they’ve always kept one set aside for him, through the decades. even if they don’t think they have one, aziraphale expects them to, and so they do. also im still partial to the eye miniature locket thing

crowley is of course tall and lithe and young and has good cheekbones and dark hair that he keeps very carefully styled (god ive seen so much art with the 90s middle part it’s what i believe). he wears very sharp suits that fit very well and sometimes people think he’s Cool or Successful but if they’re around him for very long the impression quickly becomes “son of a rich investment banker whose dad got him a job at the firm but he must be informing to the feds because he is EXTREMELY nervous all the time”. he just puts a lot of concentrated effort into looking put together and stylish because he is neither but desperately wants to be both. very partial to the headcanon that after the apocalypse he gets much more comfortable with himself and confident and he stops styling his hair unless they’re going somewhere nice and even grows it out a little. and he starts to adopt the fashion of the gang of dads he pals around with and wears comfortable flannels and sherpa quarter zips and usually jeans but more and more often joggers bc they’re socially acceptable sweatpants and once theyve lived in the village a while and enough people have chanced to see him without his sunglasses and haven’t like, run screaming or tried to burn him, he starts going without them a lot of the time even in town because everyone knows that’s just anthony, he has an eye condition. and he just slowly starts to look more comfortably middle aged as that is the true age of his soul and gain some weight so hes not so painfully thin, almost without his even noticing because he’s finally just. comfortable and settling into his life and his corporation without being so stressed and self-conscious all the time.

[theincompetentgenius]

Matchup

hiyaaa!! could i pls get a written matchup for ikesen, ikerev, & mlqc? 💞 bi but i prefer guys! i have an older twin sis~ 5'4 young girl~ medium-length straight-ish black hair & dark brown eyes. ambiverted INTP! hufflepuff/ravenclaw. fun-loving & friendly scorpio. if not given attention, i feel unwanted/sad. quiet w/ people im not close w/. easily annoyed but guilty after 'cause im soft-hearted. playful/serious, childish/mature, competative/laidback, funny/shy, talkative/good listener, loud/soft, kind/quiet, emotional/solemn, sweet/smart, bright/deep, poetic/intellectual, daydreamer/studious, annoying/lovable. hopeless romantic! sorta socially anxious, i have a fear of judgement. my personality is like half fun/happy and half deep/quiet- very awkward. i want to be the best! im not innocent but ppl think i am at first. its easy to make me smile & laugh but i also get jealous often. i have trouble asking for help even if i help others a lot! im the type to do fun stuff and loosen up, but im also the type to just cuddle and have long conversations about life and the world. emotionally mature but a bit emotionally unstable (mental health problems-) i look fine on the outside but on the inside its a MESS. im actually a complex person, and i rlly think a lot to myself. i feel rlly scared tho if im not completely sure if im correct abt smth, n i get rlly anxious when ppl r looking at me blankly w/ smiling- likes: diff kinds of jokes, testing myself, affection, animals, doing exhilirating things, music, movies, books, games, family, friends, astrology, astronomy, learning new things, & mythology. dislikes: too much heat, school presentations, creepy dolls, being under pressure, dirty things. i love weapons (esp swords n guns, i like magic too tho)!! i think they're super cool- omg im super srry cause i think this is too much- tysm anyway!! feel free to take your time (health comes first!) n have a great year! 💞

Aww, thank u so much! This was submitted to me quite a while back and I’m really sorry for the major delay. However, I’ve finally gotten to this. Hope you still enjoy it :)

Ikemen Sengoku

I’d pair you with.................. Hideyoshi Toyotomi!

Honestly, I was having difficult picking just one person since you have such a complex personality (don’t worry, this is a good thing). For a while, I was leaning towards Mitsuhide at first because your personality would’ve made the perfect MC for his route. You’re sweet enough to get him to open up, but not a complete ditz. He’d love to learn all the different sides of your personality, falling for every single piece. After all, there’s no puzzle that he can’t solve.

However, I’m gonna go with Hideyoshi on this one. His simple attitude would best compliment all your different traits, creating the perfect balance. Whenever he’s being hard-headed, your multi-dimensional personality will provide him with another side that he hadn’t considered.

Don’t want to ask for help? Not a problem because Hideyoshi is going to help you anyways (whether you want or not). He’ll be at your side all day, making sure that even the smallest of tasks have dealt with. Once your work is done, he’ll linger around for a little bit, waiting for that last good-bye kiss. 

You manage to pull him out of his comfort zone, going on small adventures together! He’s not the biggest fan of them, but he always tags along to make sure you’re alright. His favorite adventures are when you two go into the forests, observing all the different animals. There’s nothing like seeing the sweet smile on your face to brighten up his day.

The day always ends with the two of you heading back to his room, laying on his bed, and looking at all the cool stuff that you found. He’ll have his arms wrapped around your waist, resting his chin on top of your head, listening to you rave about the adventure. But when you remind him that there’s no place that you’d rather be than in his arms, Hideyoshi can’t help but turn into a puddle. It’s just a night of cuddles and endless affection.

Hideyoshi is also the best person to go to when you’re feeling like a complete mess. Even if he’s busy, he’ll always put time aside to comfort you. If you’re feeling scared or unsure, the warlord will stroke your hair and remind you about all the times that you’ve been right (and all the things you’ve accomplished because of that). Even if things go awry, he’ll always be there to hold your hand for comfort’s sake. After all, you’ve guided him through his messes, so now it’s his turn to repay the favor.

Another Possibility: Mitsuhide Akechi

Ikemen Revolution

I’d pair you with............... Ray Blackwell!

So there’s not a lot of leeway here since your description really just screamed “RAY” to me. However, I feel like I could throw you at Blanc! He’d do his best to make you feel welcome in the Cradle and slowly crack through your quiet demeanor. Once he learns what’s inside, bunny boy is absolutely charmed! It’s hard for him to stay away, especially since he just gravitates towards your cheery energy. Nevertheless, the Black Army King won over in the end.

When Ray first meets you, he appreciates your quiet side. Not too noisy or annoying, unlike certain members in the Black Army. Besides, you seem to have your head screwed on straight, so he won’t have to worry too much about you getting into endless trouble. Your maturity throughout the entire situation will only garner his respect.

When Fenrir cracks a crude joke and you stifle your laughter, Ray raises an eyebrow. There’s definitely more to you than meets the eye and he’s interested in what exactly hides behind your quiet exterior. While he may not go out of his way to search for it, Ray takes mental notes when you do something that pleasantly surprises him.

Bookworm buddies!! Every now and then, you two engage in a reading competition: who can read the most books throughout the week? For the prize, the loser has to listen to the winner’s commands for an entire day. While the winning party varies, it’s always a close call.

Ray is always teasing you for being a hopeless romantic. However, that’s just his way of hiding how he thinks that your mentality towards love is adorable. If he’s completely honest, you remind him of the main heroine in most romance novels. Does that mean he’s willing to be your love interest? Why don’t you ask him and find out ;)

Ray notices the twinkle in your eyes when you watch him practice with his sword. When you ask him about it, he’ll happily show you all the types of swords and guns that are used in the Black Army. He even gives you confidential information about the latest gun prototypes. At one point, he’ll even gift you with the weapon of your choice (you can customize it however you want). Whether you choose to use it is up to you (but little tip here: Ray finds it hot when you carry it around on your belt).

Another Possibility: Blanc Lapin

MLQC

I’d pair you with............ Victor!

Before I unveil first place over here, I think you and Kiro would also have amazing chemistry too! You two would mesh so well together, being the biggest balls of sunshine. When you’re feeling down, you can always expect his teddy-bear smile to cheer you up in an instance. It gives me such “wholesome couple vibes” that I’m not even sure how to put it into words.

So you must be wondering, “Why Victor?” It’s because our loveable grump needs some sunshine of his own (a ray of sunshine that he won’t throw out the window or chastise to death). From the beginning, Victor takes a liking towards you. You’re mature, dependable, and want the best for the company. Even if you’re not directly involved, he appreciates your efforts towards becoming the best. There’s something about you that makes him want to root for you.

And so he does, pouring a decent amount of money into your dreams. However, Victor will constantly watch you from the side (after all, he’s gotta see how his investment is being used). This may cause you some discomfort, but he’s doing it to make sure that you get to the top of your dreams. 

When you’re feeling unsure of yourself, Victor will give you the guidance that you need. He’ll try his best to give his input on the situation, making sure that it gets you closer and closer to the answers that you need. Once you manage to pull everything together, he can’t help but feel a little tug on his chest. It’s a combination of both pride and something a little sweeter.

Victor also finds your multi-faceted personality quite impressive. It’s amazing how you can show a range of emotions and feelings, especially when you’re dealing with different types of people. He doesn’t have such a range of emotions, so he tries to pick up on a few of your traits. It doesn’t always work, but you always get a good laugh out of it.

Whenever Victor has had a long day at work, the two of you lay on the grass and watch the night sky. There’s something about the stars that calms him and he wouldn’t have known it if he never met you. So he’ll always be grateful for the peace that you’ve given him. 

Another Possibility: Kiro

[midoriyaizukustan-inactive]

*clears throat* *pulls up powerpoint* *shuffles speaker notes*

okay kids strap in this is gonna be long probably. im gonna add a read more so hopefully that works, otherwise i am,,so sorry,,

w that lets begin

so. lets start w the basics

season 1: didnt like him. really didnt like him. i have Issues w suicide as a topic in general so when he baited midoriya he lost any fondness i couldve had towards him. then his actions durnig the battle training? hes a fcukin maniac. but i enjoyed learning more abt him as a character so whatever. i thought his confrontation w midoriya in the aftermath of that was,,interesting

season 2: still dont like him, but his eventual coming arnd during the final exam made me more open to him. also sports festival was,,,interesting, ig. i thought it was interesting how he wouldnt accept the win; if he was the same character he was in season 1, he wouldve taken it, i feel like. but he didnt. so hey, growth smwh

season 3: i thought i didnt like him, but then he got kidnapped and i got a case of the shakes(tm) until he was rescued. i rlly vibed w midoriya screaming and crying while he was kidnapped. cut to the provis license exam:

(excuse my crying abt aoyama lmao)(and also the fact that i used to call bakugou “bakugon” yes i know thats not his name yes i did that bc i didnt like him and i think im funny as shit). then,,,the scene. kacchan v. deku 2. uhh i was vibing w him honestly. hes a mood,,,regrettably,,,until he beat midoriya at least

season 4 (so far): pls stop yelling, regrettably relatable gremlin

now lets dive into what all that means huh

i dislike bakugou for the following reasons.

- suicide-baited midoriya. not only that, but he tormented him for years simply because he couldn’t get over his own private feelings; midoriya did nothing to deserve his scorn. literally nothing.

- beyond even that, is still a prick to most everyone he meets; he’s short and irritated and won’t give anyone the benefit of the doubt (at least not as first). 

- even now, he still has issues giving respect or even just being decent to both people he knows and people he doesn’t.

- speaking of, he has never ever apologized for his previous actions. not even after he finds out he’s wrong (like when midoriya tells him he never, ever, looked down on him). he hasnt even really apologized via action rather than words if you wanna try that route with me. he might be better than he was, but he refuses to acknowledge that he was ever wrong in the first place and thats not functional

- hes so focused on “winning” as a concept. it doesnt matter if youre supposed to be an ally to him; if he perceives you as being in his way, he’ll do his damnedest to fucking destroy you. he has few genuinely heroic qualities (not to say he has few good qualities, just few heroic ones); hes just strong and determined, but he’s a case study of how those qualities can be twisted as all fucking hell

- hes so proud. he is s o fucking proud. he has such an issue with pride that i cant fucking handle it sometimes man

i like bakugou for the following reasons.

- he has grown. he might not have said anything to anyone about it, but he has grown as a person since the series started

- he does have morals and he sticks to them. they might be basic things such as “dont be a villain” but theyre. something and he stands by them. hes not a slimy snake is what im saying

- hes funny. when he isnt actively bringing others down, i actually enjoy the screentime he has, bc its really funny, esp when he’s interacting w his friends and theyre having visible fun messing arnd w him

- this particular reason is hard to phrase so let me just. try and word vomit it correctly. i didnt expect him to be capable of blaming himself for smth like all might’s retirement. but he was and i,,,it adds layers to his character that i appreciate a lot. so its not that i like that he feels guilty abt it, but what it means for his character

- his interactions with kirishima. its proof that he’s learning how to be better, slowly but surely, and how to care about others properly. its sweet, genuinely and wholeheartedly

- hes not always rewarded by the narrative, and that makes him much more human to me, which i really appreciate. the biggest example i can think of is that he didn’t pass his provisional license exam on the first try. i think he’s gonna have a low point eventually, but hopefully, from there, he tries to build his way out into a better life as a better person

yeah

its just...very complex. he reminds me of myself, or at least a person i used to be. he actually reminds me of a couple combinations of ppl i used to be; just like bakugou, ive had smth similar to both a superiority and an inferiority complex in the past so its djkfjkdjnk,,,regrettably relateable,,,,,,not at the same time like he does but yknow the feeligns and how they clash are still there

but yeah. its bc he reminds me of myself i both hate him and like him.

like he reminds me of aspects abt myself i h a t e. i have issues w pride, i used to be a huge jerk (not to the degree he was, thank god, but i have a conscious now so when im reminded of how i used to be in like elementary school, i feel ashamed and since bakugou hasnt fucking,,,acknowledged,,the abuse he put midoriya through yet,,i get angry with him)

and the one guilt episode we saw him have reminded me of a very dark time in my life (2016) and its just. oh no. so thats where the anger fizzles out because i cant hate that more than i just feel pity abt it

in contrast, its bc he reminds me of things i hate abt myself that i have high hopes for him. i crawled out of the hole i was in; i made it through the stages of being a prick and then being thrust into a guilt-induced depression. im certainly not a good person, but im much better than i was

so just,,im already proof that ppl can change, but,,,,if i had a character to cling to when doubt came creeping in, i think that wouldve be great. i know im not the only one that feels like this. if bakugou can make the right turnaround, i think he could mean a lot to a bunch of people, me included

obviously the turnaround would have to be done right (and he better fucking beg for midoriya’s forgiveness) but i have hope that it can be

he has a long way to go, both in action and in word. but i am hopeful for his development. he reminds me of many things i hate about myself, but also to push on despite those things. my feelings about him are complicated due to that

yea. heres my book report sir djknkjnsknfjkn

[naernon]

For TES Asks: 3, 4, 17, 24.

thank you!! sorry if (other than the first one…) this is a bit shorter than i usually answer, i’m feeling a bit under the weather and drowsy and i want to get these asks done gfruighgfuhfgdfg

3: When and how you got into TES

this was LITERALLY one of the most simple goddamn questions on the entire list but i ended up talking about my entire ~TES journey~ and it’s so long and i am so sorry ufgdhifdhufdh

In 2012/2013 i played skyrim and it went from there gfdhuhgdfug. I loved the game but i wasn’t like… INTO IT into it– it was my favorite game and it isn’t like all lore and details about the world i immersed myself in were lost in my little head but i didn’t get too much into that part of it. I knew the basics of the thalmor, the daedra, the stormcloaks, etc.. all i could pick up from the game itself (without reading the in-game books most of the time because i just. I dont fhyugdfug) but i couldn’t tell you WHY the thalmor were like that, or what happened to the dunmer that displaced a lot of them into the home of one of their mortal enemies other than “volcano erupt i guess”, or the history of the dwemer other than “they were here and now they’re uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh not”. you know.

I was still into it enough to keep track of news and all and when the ESO beta launched i managed to get into it and i played it then. wasn’t expecting much due to lack of care + experience in the ins-and-outs of games and so my disappointment was limited, esp. since it was beta and i figured “any issues i’m sure they’ll improve”. the beta ended, i didn’t pre-order it or anything because my father wouldn’t have let me as long as there was a subscription.

the actual launch then was a disaster, and i looked at it, winced, and went on my merry way. then the subscription was dropped and the game improved and i bought it as soon as i could after finding out the former, played it a bit but didn’t get as much into it because i hadn’t played skyrim in a while either so my knowledge of the series and the world i was trying to get into had mostly disappeared, and stopped. months later. I see it in my library. “oh, shit, i hadn’t played that in a while, why not.never going to play WOW because of the subscription even though i want to play an MMO and i like skyrim so maybe i can get back into the world.”

i play through about half of the DC questline with my john wilkes booth character, find it VERY mildly interesting (i kinda am just in it at that point for the gameplay but i slowly begin to think “this questline’s… ok. more than i expected from an MMO quest, really), and i play skyrim again. i play around with my john wilkes booth character on skyrim and find the lore interesting, especially surrounding the falmer, so i make my first character that pays attention to lore 100%; ryvrinei. I play extensively, and go back to ESO as i’m doing so and make lore-attentive characters on there. A LOT. first one i make is a khajiit named do’moheh (i’ve been spelling her name wrong throughout this entire blog i’ve realized), and i play through the AD questline. I treat it the same as I did the DC questline with mild interest and the most my opinions got to were “hm. I like that elf.” until all the shit with prince naemon happened and people were backstabbing and the queen was crying in her house and everything was going to shit and i immediately perked up in an impressed “ok what the Hell is happening”. the questline and plot really jived with me and my interests and it all went from there.

now im in elf hell and i am okay with that

4: Favorite race

I love the altmer the best but all-in-all the dominion races are my favorites, so the bosmer and the khajiit too! also, the falmer, too! love me some elves a lot.

17: Are there any characters you have crushes on? If so, who?

24: Funniest experience in a TES game

“Estre doesn’t even know magic!”

(also, i dont know if you mean me personally or just in general, but also this)

Elder Scrolls Asks

[pidge-the-shalashit]

Reason why a main LGBT ship in Voltron MOST LIKELY won’t be canon

Just a thing I’ve meaning to write for awhile now. Just to make clear, I’m not writing this bash any ships, even though I personally dislike Klance (VERY MUCH), but thats not what Im doing today. This is just to discuss a thing the majority of the fandom dont seen to understand, in an unbiased way with no favor toward any ships in general. Also sorry if this shows up in the tags of other shows, I’m just using them as examples for this essay.

LGBT themes are slowly becoming more and more accepted into children and family media. We’ve seen it in Steven Universe, The Loud House, Star Vs, Adventure Time, Clarence, etc. Most talked about has prolly been Steven Universe, which the characters Ruby and Sapphire, Pearl expressing her love for Rose, etc, and Legend of Korra where Korra was seen holding hands and leaving into the spirit world with her now girlfriend at the very end. And it’s been great to see these things become shown in children and family media now more than ever, esp for representation.

But there’s one thing people, and the fans don’t understand. Is that fight for representation. And how we still have a long way to go in many ways.

Living in SoCal, where most or if not all the major media companies are, you get to know a lot of people who work for them. People that have told me things that they have witnessed themselves or been told from their higher ups. Now since this isn’t my own personal experience with the companies themselves, I know what I’m saying here can be taken with a grain of salt, these are just what I’ve heard from people and friends that do work for Disney, Dreamworks, etc.

That even though LGBT media is getting more accepted in children and family media, there’s still a lot that won’t be accepted, that in many or most cases it’s subtle, it’s only background characters, etc. Yes, there, was Korra, but even that was subtle, we didn’t know they were together until Bryke told us it was, and they weren’t allowed to explore it until much later in a comic book series. As for Steven Universe, the gems are a very…special case. Yes it is definitely considered LGBT rep, but they do it in a way they can get away with it easier, with the fact that they are an all-female/genderless race of aliens.

A lot of the fact of this is because, the media and businesses primarily focus on ratings and money. With children’s media, it’s different than shows like South Park, Rick and Morty, Family Guy, or any shows that are TV-14 and higher, because those shows are on a completely different spectrum and can get away with A LOT more than family entertainment. Even with movies that are aimed toward children and family, yes there are times they insert themes only adults understand, but they usually are gags or have no relevance to the plot. Children and family media is more fragile cause not only are they trying to cater to kids, but also the parents that are watching too. The parents that buy the kids the merchandise and other things related to the series.

Now, the next thing I’m gonna say, please don’t get angry, I’m only speaking the truth. I am a trans guy myself, whom is bi/pan, and will always be proud to be apart of the LGBT spectrum. But with children/family media…thats still slowly being accepted because there are, unfortunately, a lot homophobia/transphobia/etc still in this world. There are still countries that make it still illegal to be apart of that spectrum. And until that all fully changes, family media will still be affected by it, even if it’s slowly starting to change for the better.

That’s where Klance, Sheith, and other main LGBT Voltron ships come in. The majority of the fandom have expressed their want of an LGBT themed ship in the series…but a WANT doesn’t always lead to a WILL. Even if the writers wanted a main LGBT ship, who says the Dreamworks executives and higher ups really will allow it? If it does happen, will you really still accept it even if it gets the same subtle end as Korra? Or even small subtle hints that goes no where?

Voltron isn’t aired just in the US and major countries either, the company has to take that into account as well. Its a business first and always will be. Yes the viewers and fandoms will always be important to the show, but sometimes, what the viewers want isn’t always what they can get away with. The story has already been written since the beginning as well, with recording beginning as early as 2015.

The fandom will prolly accuse them of queerbaiting, telling the executives why they put this moment in if it didn’t lead to anything, etc. I’ve been in plenty of fandoms where this has been states several times, with ships that had so much potential that never saw the light of day. But in the end, you need to see it’s not about just the ships. Shippers will always see things for their ships or interpret moments as canon evidence, that’s been going on since a lot of people in fandoms were even born. You just also need to see and understand it from a business and media point of view as well. Most of the time there’s always a reason.

Who knows though, maybe Voltron will be the first to break that barrier? But it’s very highly unlikely. Don’t be mad at the writers and creators, threatening them if an LGBT main pairing doesn’t become canon. Maybe they just couldn’t do it for a reason far more greater than what they can control.

And LGBT themes doesn’t have to be ships either. Even if the LGBT pair we get may only be subtle or a background pair, there’s always a chance of a trans or nonbinary character, but tbh, those are even more rare in childrens media than same-sex relationships.

Thank you for reading this if you did. I greatly appreciate it. Please share and feel free to comment, including counterpoint and criticisms, as long as they are done in a mature matter. Comments like “pee your pants” isn’t what I call very mature…

[nesta-archeron]

THOUGHTS ABOUT TOWER OF DAWN

I originally wasn’t going to read it bc tbh, i didn’t *love* the last two books in the series: QOS and EOS (i felt like the series peaked @ HOF)  and an extra book about kale? i was like? really? is this necessary?

[spoilers ahead]

and it’s so hard to not let other people’s opinions effect how you see this series….esp all the antis on tumblr. but slowly and surely I’m listening to my own opinions, rather than what strangers declare on the internet like I have read so many arguments on this series and there’s good points on both sides that ultimately it just goes round and round and whatever the fuck I’m just really jaded and tired as shit so moving on to the actual review thats more like a list thats really incoherent like always

STUFF I LOVED:

- chaol’s fucking character arc like. fuck. r u fucking kidding me. fuck. i was never a really big chaol fan to begin with ever since tog, but god. this book just made me love him??? like jesus by the end i would’ve probably died for this veggie

- YRENE FUCKING TOWERS!!!!!!! jfc like the assassin and the healer was always my favorite of all the novellas and fuck this just came together so beautifully. seeing how yrene’s changed from that girl all those years ago when she first met celaena to the strong woman she is now I’m QUAKING! and that fucking last scene on the boat?? with chaol and yrene??? the note??? fuck me up???

- SARTAQ AND NESRYN I’m dead don’t even w me like fuck I’m dead. get u a otp that rides giant badass hawks together. like fukc. i can even begin like nesryn fucking deserves this so much I’m so happy that she’s happy I’m fucking. jesus. ALSO THAT LAST SCENE W HER FAM. that was some Cute Shit.

- THE ENTIRE SUPPORTING CAST. i literally can’t even like how the fuck do i describe???? as far as I could tell there were no like overused cliche tropes for supporting characters. And Sarah could have described poc better like. There are more words than just brown?? And idk I just felt like she could've described their skin color more frequently bc for a lot of the poc it was like described once and never mentioned again. and hasar. like im shaking.

- How Chaol viewed aelin and dorian and coming around and letting go of that bitterness in his heart. like my fucking bleeding heart. My OG Babies. like yall. that was some Real Shit.

- ALL THE FUCKING MESSAGES IN THIS STORY. this was the most beautiful part of the book, in my opinion like just. here. these are some of the messages i saw:

no matter how small a role you think you played, you still deserve to have your story told. (nesryn & the arrow thing) (I’m sorry im really tired and i just finished and i cannot for the life of me remember the names of anything)

let go of the bitter shit in your heart. or in the long run it’ll eat u up. (i mean. kale’s entire thing.)

family is just. so important. like the royal family The Khagans. like u hear all this shit about them wanting to kill each other but like. “never us” bye my eyes are fucking sweaty

even if you think it’s the end of the world. it’s not. (like idk just chaol learning to live with his disability and how it doesn’t make him a different man like that fucked me up. also the remanence of his convo with aelin? the one where kales like “what if theres just despair beyond this?” and aelins like “then it is not the end” or it goes something like that. like. tattoo that on my fucking forehead.

anyways HOF was my favorite book in the series and now this one. is right up there with it so I’m just really emotional. bc it really blindsided me with how good it was like it was just. way better than i expected. 

[readsettlers]

oh wow

rules: tag 10 people you want to get to know better

tagged by: @comcastkills

relationship status: single

favourite colour: uhhh orange or green. esp dark green

lipstick or chapstick: tbh i like basically never use either but chapstick probably

three favourite foods: the pasta with stuff inside that ive forgotten the name of (both types), cheeseburgers even though i cant eat them anymore, and tuna

lst song I listened to: weregild by grimes 😍

last movie I watched: gjdjfjf fuck im not sure. i think it was the nice guys?

top 3 shows: person of interest, luther, and uhhhh idk i dont want enough tv fjdjrjr. maybe IASIP

top 3 bands: most of the music i listen 2 isnt by bands really but i guess if its just bands itd be chvrches, WTC (ik thats a stretch to say the least but 🤷‍♀️), and UNKLE

books i’m currently reading: still very, very slowly making my through the palgrave encyclopedia of imperialism & anti-imperialism, well over a year since i first started it, and also re-reading the wretched of the earth

i tag: im pretty sure every1 i still talk 2 on heres been tagged fjfjjrr so if any1 who follows me wants 2 do this just say i tagged u

[heather-holloway]

i do believe i have an eating disorder called ARFID?

like the past couple years ive just been ?? when it comes to food? like, its gotten worse lately, but for a while since 8th grade, ive always just had this feeling of puking after eating and ive eaten WAY less than i used to.

i cant eat fruit because of the way i hate its texture and i know my friends/family joke about it and shit but literally i ate a grape the other day and had to run to the bathroom to spit it out because holy shit i was going to puke. i might just be fucking stupid and picky and blowing this way out of proportion but ive been reading about ARFID and it REALLY describes me, ESP ESP ESP with the part of the fear of choking/vomiting (big things that actually prevent me from taking pills). 

literally almost everytime i eat a meal, i always have to eat slowly to make sure that i Positively Do Not Choke or anything. and its like that Every Time. I have this huge fucking irrational fear of choking and vomiting its almost ridiculous. everytime i go out to eat at a restaurant, i always end up in the bathroom, trying my hardest not to puke. i cant even fucking drink any type of liquid with my meal or ill feel like puking. its literally the worst thing and this disorder is the closest thing that sounds like it.

im venting in a readmore cuz i NEED to vent this somewhere and i know my friends cant do anything abt it and im sure as hell not telling my family abt it because we’re already stressed enough as it is, and this wont help at all

(even though this is a serious problem that has led me to.. like.. not take my multiple bottles of pills ive stacked up bc i Cannot take a pill. ive done every trick in the book, and ultimately its just the really huge fear of choking on it that really gets me)

edit: i dont think its as severe, since i still Can eat and stuff, but like... even today at my great grandmas house for dinner i had to leave midway to go to the bathroom bc i was gonna puke if i had to eat any more of my one (1) slice of ham. its ridiculous that i feel like this, when im literally eating nothing. i used to inhale food so much so fast, but now im lucky if i can even finish a side

[mercenarypark]

“ hotaliens said: WHEN U CAN talk about medic and his birds, red scout and blu scout mayhaps, ANDdddddddddddddddd what the mercs do on the weekend “ hey guys remember how i said i was gonna talk about hcs well let me finally get around to that hours late here we go

[Medic and Birds]

[these go for RED and BLU medic]

-Medic’s mother had a cockatoo, she absolutely ADORED him even when he was a baby, though ofc his mother made sure to monitor their interactions together; and even as an infant he always treated that bird with surprising gentleness, never pulling or prodding hard. that cockatoo never bit him harder than a warning nip, and she would somehow always know how to calm him down from a tantrum.

the bird died of illness right around the time the war started, and to this day he believes that somehow, those were connected. 

-medic stole his flock of doves[technically homing pigeons] from a wedding in England, not realizing that the catering van he’d stolen had an entire flock of birds and a makeshift aviary inside. the method with which he retrained them is,,,,,,, unconventional and spoiler-y for some things i have written but not published

-he holds full conversations with birds, often- not just his own, but birds in the trees, on the street, in pet stores and houses.

-the flock is mostly his homing pigeons from his stolen wedding flock, and their children; with a couple of fancy pigeons stolen from pigeon shows[because lord knows the poor things need some help, esp the ones who’ve been bred to fit a certain standard at the cost of their health and ability to function], and a few feral street pigeons he’s adopted

-the flock mostly refers to him as “papa”, “Vati” or “Opa”

-he speaks to them in German, Yiddish, and English- they understand all three

-he cries every single time an egg hatches. every time. sadly he cant let EVERY egg that they lay, hatch, because he’d never be able to care for them all, but the flock understands this and lets him remove eggs as he pleases, and in return he gives them all as much love and attention as he can

-medic’s office is his makeshift aviary, though he very rarely keeps them cooped in there- for the majority of the day they have free roam of the base. they all know where home is

-heavy, pyro, and scout all are allowed to play w/ medic’s birds whenever they want, heavy and pyro both have a key to medic’s office so they can get into the aviary without having to ask [scout WOULD have one but she’s notorious for losing keys]

-----

[RED Scout BLU Scout]

-for clarities sake, again, there are a lot of things i[and gabby+em]’ve written but not published that i dont want 2 spoil, and the reason that theres two of every merc is one of them; but i will say that yes, there are two versions of scout who mostly have the same backstory shit, but things differ when theyre hired as mercs

-[also, both scouts use she/her and occasionally they/them]

-both scouts have a long standing hatred for the other, and absolutely target each other on the battlefield

-this is at least a LITTLE BIT because of self loathing, IE “im gonna beat the shit out of the person who looks exactly like me”, though neither of them realize that

-RED scout is the one who comes to terms with the fact that she’s trans first and that just amplifies how much she HAAATES the BLU scout

-but RED scout is also the first of the two to go through character growth and become a genuinely better person, as she slowly comes out to her family and friends, finds support in her teammates, accidentally adopts medic as her unofficial dad, unlearns a lot of internalized bullshit,

-which infuriates BLU scout because suddenly RED scout doesnt seem to really care about fighting her anymore 

-and then BLU scout overhears one of RED mercs refer to RED scout w/ she/her pronouns and has a fucking crisis of confusion [but also validation]

-and after a lot of internal turmoil brought on by the UNBELIEVABLE Mental Fuckery that has got to come with realizing that the alternate version of yourself is openly trans while you’re still confused and closeted,

-BLU scout decides yea u know what. im trans and im not gonna hide it anymore, esp since apparently all the RED versions of my teammates are accepting so like, the BLUs should be too right???

-and they are

-BLU scout and BLU medic aren’t as close as RED scout + RED medic, for multiple reasons, but in both cases the scouts came out to the medics first [because, Hes Doctor] 

-after BLU scout starts going through her own Character Development[tm] and mellows out, both scouts are pretty chilled on the battlefield towards each other, even joking with each other about their teammates, nowhere near as violent and vicious as they were before

-most of the time that they DO fight its more casual and more like rough-housing, with bullets and also spiked baseball bats

-sorry this mostly turned into Gender Stuff hdfjghh but i took that prompt to mean “both scout’s relationships 2 the other” and the answer to that is, well, “fight” ----

[weekend]

[some of these are specific to the RED versions of everyone, sorry, though most are more general]

-demo is usually working one of his other jobs- piano gigs at fancy establishments, art commissions[hes a pretty fantastic painter, he prefers more abstract pieces and he has a very distinct style with a strong sense of movement and fluidity], and some volunteer work at the ol’ kitten orphanage [he’d work at the regular human orphanage next door, but, well. he’s got bad experiences with those. and hes scared of messing up around children]

basically even when hes technically off duty, hes still always working- its the degroot way, whether he likes it or not

but when he can relax, he usually spends as much time as he can with his parrot, keeping her entertained and socialized and happy; he also spends a lot of time in engies workspace watching him build and repair stuff while they drink together, with pyro playing whatever game they’re hyperfocused on at the moment, and, in the old days, he would spend a lot of time sneaking out to be with BLU soldier... Those days are gone in the times of WAR, of course

-engie, of course, is usually still working as well. honestly he doesnt even notice the fact that its the weekend half the time unless someone tells him, he’ll just keep pouring over blueprints and fine tuning designs. 

if you do pry him away from his work table long enough, though, he will crash on the nearest soft surface and sleep for 15 hours. rancho relaxo time motherfucker

-medic becomes a cryptid every goddamn weekend, unless you check one of four places: his bedroom, heavy’s bedroom, his office/aviary, and the morgue. you will not see him literally anywhere else. he is also only seen with at least 5-6 birds on his person at all times, as opposed to his usual 1 or 2.

he spends most of the time on the weekends being v overaffectionate with both his birds and heavy; and the rest of the time cutting open dead bodies in the morgue and injecting them with weird shit

-heavy spends a lot of time reading and writing on the weekends- editing older drafts of books he’s written, translating things to and from English to practice his skills with the language, and just, reading books he’s had recommended to him or old favorites. sometimes he reads out loud to medic while medic is busy with other things [IE he’s distracted by birds or corpses]

-spy? literally just this textpost by gabby.

http://thefrenchiestfrytisi.tumblr.com/post/161502800096/ok-before-i-go-to-sleep-though-this-image-from

 you dont need any more info than that. this is perfect. spy spends like 5 hours in the bath every saturday and 6 every sunday and its always like this

-pyro is the other cryptid at the base, no one can ever find them unless pyro WANTS to be found so they can show off a drawing they did, or a card trick they learned, or just so they can hang out w/ someone for a while

-scout is either playing Video Games[tm] from the moment she wakes up until she passes out, or she is outside jogging for 3 hours straight and then she impulse steals a golf cart, there is no middle ground here -every single saturday, soldier doesnt realize its the weekend, gets completely ready for battle, runs outside, and only sees the other soldier. and they just both fight each other for the next couple hours until someone gets them both to come inside. the rest of the weekend she’s “taming” her raccoons and planning for the next fight

-i dont care about sniper

[emerssn-blog1]

hey fam !!! it me hanna & this is my new son (but more accurately fATHER) emerson !! i’m honestly so hyped to play him so hmu for plots :~~~) pls :~)

i’m not the only one who just saw milo ventimiglia walk by, right ? oh, wait, that was emerson beckett. i don’t know much about them besides that they’re thirty two years old and moved into golden horizons six years ago. everyone calls them the recluse because they’re reticent and solitary, but also altruistic and adroit. i’ve also heard he is currently a coffee shop owner and identifies as cis male.

k so this is emerson!!! he was born in a rly rly small town in georgia into a really big family!! edit: he was born on a farm this is an important detail otherwise none of thise makes sense lmao

im talkin big like .. he had six other siblings & he lived with many of his other relatives as well

he basically grew up in a very small gated neighbourhood - the kind where u go to school with the exact same small group of kids every year, u know all of ur neighbours stories and their parents know u and everyone’s just pals nd practically family

from a young age, emerson rly rly loved school strangely?? his family never considered it that much of a priority but emerson genuinely loved it and learned very quickly!! he read things on his own (anything he could get his hands on), lit knew the most useless random facts and would go around sharing them and yea sdjfjfsd he was a nerd since early on 

he was always interested in learning. for the rest of his family, after high school, it meant they were gonna continue working on the farm & carry on w what their parents do. but emerson wanted to venture out...learn more abt the rest of the world...

emerson finished his schooling quickly & graduated when he was 17 !! he wanted to go to university and move to the city and make his dreams of becoming a vet come true but his parents...disapproved 

so he stayed for another yr and planned on moving out on his own when he was 18!! 

another detail to note tho was that from childhood, he met the Ultimate Love of his Life. her name was savannah !! 

anyways she dreamed of moving to the city too?? it was always a thing of theirs to leave together nd live together it was very hopeful but yanno they didn’t know any better

when he was 18, sav and emerson moved to nyc !! emerson wanted to study biology nd she wanted to become an actress :-) his parents were still very much opposed but they supported him financially in regards to tuition, bc they highly doubted he’d last for very long

they were right , it was hella difficult ?? they didn’t help him out very much w money besides tuition so he was working a lot while studying

it wasn’t an ideal situation but he still got to live in the city, with his gf, and it was hard but he refused to prove his parents right?? so he stayed and worked rly rly hard but slowly his parents stopped financially supporting him as they gradually realized his choice was final

when he was in his 3rd yr of uni tho sav became pregnant .. so emerson naturally came to the conclusion that they can’t afford for him to go to school when he’s gotta work to support them & their baby so he dropped out rip

yea so now he’s working even MORE and it’s stressful and they can barely pay bills or do ... anything really

so even after the baby was born, they lived paycheck to paycheck. emerson never really bothered telling his family about his situation tbh

when their kid ( her name is theadora aka thea !! ) was four years old tho, savannah died after bein involved in a nasty car accident :( it was obviously very hard on both thea and emerson

in need of a fresh start, emerson moved to sf. he was still broke tho lol 

so yea !! he moved into golden horizons w thea and started workin in a coffee shop. over the yrs, he moved up positions & got highkey close w the owner but as the owner passed away 2 yrs ago, he was given the shop nd still runs it today!!

now its lowkey a mix of a coffee shop & a cheap book shop/library?? he collects all his faves heh

in general he’s still .. a pretty upbeat person he’s just a lil worn out bc life was....definitely not everything he ever dreamed of being and he’s sort of had to settle because of what was given to him but !! he isn’t like super emo about it u know he doesn’t like to think about it too much

he loves bein in the city but at heart is still a southern boy?? rly old fashioned bad w technology loves the outdoors loves nature and animals all that good stuff

he’s so sefless like he feels so guilty if he does something for himself?? esp after having a kid and even after living on his own w sav, he’s used to giving up stuff and making sacrifices for other people so ,, he just feels like someone else deserves help more than him?? someone gotta remind him to take care of himself too

tbh emerson has a lot of surface lvl relationships but not a lot of super deep ones just bc he’s so bad at maintaining relationships and unless someone initiates it then he hates making the first move bc he feels awkward and like he’s bein annoying 

but if he loves u he will stick with u no matter WHAT ,, for real

probs seems annoyed sometimes but rly he’s just in his thoughts too much nd in actuality is very nice !! 

literally carries around snacks everywhere just in case also probs hands out water bottles .. he is everyones dad ok

possible connections!!

any ex plot tbh but specifically, ex-fiance or ex- very very serious relationship?? i could see them having gotten into the relationship a few months or so after emerson moved to sf ( or anytime, really ) and things got pretty Real but in the end emerson wasn’t prepared to go all the way and ended things

ride or die - i live for brotps!!!! or any bff plots!!!!! give me all of them!!!!

friends w benefits?? emerson’s never gonna put a label on it and maybe ur muse feels the same way so for now they’re just foolin around ,, havin fun

like a lil sibling sort of?? just someone that emerson’s super protective of bc he’s the ultimate dad friend tbh. let him be ur designated driver for when ur drunk & lecture u on making responsible decisions

if ur neighbours with this boi hit me up

if ur chara lived in ny back in the day then maybe they were also really good pals with his ex gf aka the mother of his child?? that would be interesting bc emerson is still really attached

his bad influence ~~ the one that convinces him 2 take one night for himself, make dumb choices nd wake up the next morning not remembering anything!!

JUST PLOT WITH ME THX