#esp if they have family angst on top of it

[inrainprose]

Jim doesn’t tell his sister that Beam died. So the next time she visits, when he is still in this haze of grief and confusion and overwork, he just says that he’s on his own now, and all she answers is “good”. It cuts deep, although she doesn’t mean anything by it. Or well, she does, but it’s not what he thinks. It’s just that she needs to go to the south for a few weeks. The details are hazy, unimportant – a job opportunity, promised to her latest boyfriend, and she wants to go with him. But she has Li Ming.

Jim raises his nephew.

.

Deep into Moonlight Chicken feels so have 7k of Jim angsting and trying his best.

[thatfanficauthor107]

KARASUNO THIRD YEAR ANGST HEADCANONS

TW: abuse, neglect, suicide attempt, self harm, depression, illness, ableism, homophobia, transphobia, alcoholism, drug abuse, death of loved ones, panic attacks

DAICHI: - his father is frankly an alcoholic and likely on types of drug more often than not. - he’s made it his job to keep the man away from his younger siblings, though that means that he takes far more punishments so they don’t have to - his father is lowkey abusive towards him, especially since he found out Daichi was queer (bisexual transmale) - mental health isn’t the best but he ignores that - has considered self harm multiple times and scares himself with how dark the thoughts get some nights - emotionally unavailable often, not at all connected with his feelings and emotions - was taught from a really young age that showing emotions (esp negative ones) showed weakness - his mother died when he was a kid, and his stepmother is either oblivious or ignores how his father treats him - he resents her for this although she’s never actually done anything directly to him - probably has undiagnosed AuDHD - doesn’t have many medical resources available for things like his asthma and his joint issues - doesn’t entirely understand Asahi’s anxiety as he was raised in a way that didn’t allow him to show any form of fear so he just pushes his own away - this has caused many arguments between the two because he just can’t understand Asahi’s point of view - ^^^ absolutely hates this - insomniac - doesn’t sleep well/at all for days on end and it really affects his mental health and mood, it’s more obvious to others than he realises - refuses to ask others for help or open up to them, even when he desperately needs it. suga had to force daichi to open up about sometimes the smallest things - skips meals often - doesn’t think he ‘needs’ them - ^^ his weight is one of his biggest insecurities - he had an eating disorder throughout part of junior hight - yui and hayato monitored what he ate for weeks after they found out

KOUSHI: - has two present parents but isn’t that close with them - his father cares more for his work than his family. his mother tries her hardest to be fair to them both but she fails often in koushi’s eyes - loves his younger brother but hates how he partially resents him for always being his parents favourite - his brother has a lot of medical issues so his mother always doted over him and left koushi in the care of his elderly grandmother - when his grandmother passed his parents hardly acknowledged it and he found that infuriating - used to overwork himself to be the top of his class in school to get his parents to notice him more (they never did) - continues to overwork himself throughout high school for any form of validation - always exerted himself in social situations and built a large social life for himself to avoid being at home and to not feel ignored - daichi and asahi were the first friends he made where he actually felt seen - his father is lowkey homophobic but only shows it behind closed doors in off-handed comments - ^^ his father cares about his reputation more than his family - his main worries and impacts on his mental health started during first year when he realised how bad Asahi and Daichi’s were - he was so scared over them hurting themselves or worse - genuinely didn’t know what to do and ended up having his first panic attack over it and several more

ASAHI: - his father passed in an accident before he was born, his mother passed away from an illness a few years later - was raised by his much older (by 11 years) sister - his sister doesn’t have any mental/mental health issues/disabilities. if their parents were still alive she would have been a glass child - often wanders what it would be like if he actually did have parents - absolutely hates mothers’/fathers’ day, and days at school where people bring in their parents. (always does something with his sister on mothers’ day without fail) - feels really guilty over how his sister had to raise him instead of living her years as a young adult - his sister works abroad most of the year, so he spends most of his time alone - was very lonely as a child - struggled to make friends his whole life, and was pretty severely bullied most of his life too - this bullying only stopped in highschool after Daichi and Suga ‘adopted’ him - ^^ this quickly turned into rumours rather than bullying - the rumours really get under his skin and affect how he sees himself (doesn’t like how he looks anymore, already low self worth plummeted) - used to self harm throughout the end of his junior high years and the beginning of high school. quitting was much harder than he had expected. - attempted in his first year at some point, everything just got too much for him and he needed it to stop. he overdosed on sleeping pills. It didn’t work, he woke up disoriented and sore hours later. He didn’t plan on telling anyone until Daichi and Suga forced him to open up. - the time he took off from volleyball he also took off from school in general. it was a longer depressive episode. - the comments he got after returning, even if they were just jokes, really got to him - to the point where he questioned coming back the next day or ever - he hates how daichi can’t understand his anxiety even though he knows it’s not daichi’s fault. he hates even more how there are some days he resents him for it

[blacklegsanjiii]

gosh im such a huge fan of your warlord!sanji au esp all the wonderful angst recently <3 is there anything you have to share abt these executions, failed or successful? the pain is delicious >:)

i adore all of ur work so very much ^^ thank u!!

I'm glad you're enjoying everything so far! There is more in the works, for many people to parent Sanji.

Like, they've probably talked about this very frankly growing up with Sanji. He's already guilty by association so becoming a pirate is the worst thing he could have done and then his parents turned against the government or got sent to Impel Down by him and his crew? Sanji would be the first thought of execution by the government, with how interwoven the cook is into piracy and some of the top pirates in the world.

As for the executions? I had a thought, since the warlords and Luffy saved Ace(they still have scars, just no death) I thought about Sanji's execution where they do make it but Sanji's smiling at them, all of them, blood dribbling out of his mouth as he collapses lifeless on the platform. Or Someone gets him out and Sanji can feel the heat from Akainu's lava fast approaching and turns just in time to lose his hands and maybe his life, blinking at the admiral as people scream.

Maybe they get the whole family up there? Jinbei and Sanji went missing and all of a sudden there's a news article about Sanji, Jinbei, and the others' execution. All lined up and put to death with seastone bullets, or injured heavily. But either way no one ever really recovers from it. Mihawk who was supposed to die by Zoro's blades. Boa who was supposed to die of old age because almost everyone fell in love with her. Jinbei watching everything he's worked for backslide. Doffy who thought he would die by his kid's hands or Law's. Crocodile who was supposed to amass so much wealth he and the others could retire without worry. Sanji who was supposed to find the All Blue and open a restaurant.

Imagine if everyone was there? The White Beard fleet, Luffy and his volunteer fleet, Shanks and his crew, Perona, Law and his crew? Just everyone trying to get to the execution platform and save them. Sanji gives Luffy his biggest smile and thanks him, asks him to find the All Blue for him, and then just slumps forward after a bullet exits the front of his skull. His parents follow one by one as Luffy screams as he loses his cook and his helmsman. Loses his friends and family.

As a sanlu truther through and through Luffy watches the love of his life die and after whatever war happens, as they all leave to recuperate. Luffy is shattered and nothing is helping. Shanks, Ace, maybe Sabo is there but nothing is working until Zoro grabs Luffy and asks him if this is what the cook would want. They have to fulfill his dream too now and Zoro will make sure they do if Luffy can't. Luffy nods and wipes his face. Perona says she'll help, Sanji was her baby brother after all. Then everyone realizes they watched the cook and his family die one by one.

Or maybe they save one warlord. Doflamingo goes on a crazed rampage because of his child and then just shuts down after they leave, just a complete dissociative state. Boa who sobs as she takes out marine after marine and can't stop. Crocodile who doesn't shed a tear and kills quickly, not in a rampage but methodically and pats Perona as she looks at him with tears. Jinbei gets everyone out quickly and safely, he watches the waves in silence. Mihawk who kills efficiently and with no mercy and then Shanks asks why he's crying because he hasn't seen Mihawk in years and didn't know. Mihawk blinks and touches his face to feel the wetness.

[fair-city-reporter]

Whumping in Wordgirl

Please forgive the atrocities I'm going to write!

As a current Whumptober participant, I figured why not talk about the newest Wordgirl fic because it's a little disaster. Becky's our unfortunate whumpee in this, and it's a bit... mature (meaning darker depictions of things than the canon-). This fic will not be for everyone, but the idea simply wouldn't leave me alone tbh,

Though let's get right to it, yes?

Wordgirl Whump Ramblings;

Everything begins after Becky defeats a villain, but finds herself extremely winded and tuckered out which unfortunately leaves her vulnerable for other people. Due to the involvement of an organization, which doesn't have Fair City's best interests in mind, Wordgirl unexpectedly goes missing. Of course, the city falls into a literal uproar because of villains still being on the loose. Though... crime suddenly stops as Fair City's villainous citizens suddenly embark on a mission to find her, but... the damage is already done.

Let me just say one thing: the villains do see Becky as a member of their family; at absolute best, they're work colleagues who respect each other, and are mindful of one another. To see if one of their own suddenly vanish without a trace - well, it's not going to end well.

Of course, on top of the fact Wordgirl's missing, another very unrelated incident has gone down. Becky Botsford also went missing. Her family is now freaking out - having filed a report on their daughter, hoping she'll come home. No one is certain of what's going on, and well, to say the least... Sally Botsford will stop at nothing to bring down the fools who kidnapped her daughter.

Read below the cut for more information!

Headcanons/Rambles (Pt. 2)

Becky is going to be around 14-15 within the context of this universe. As it is major whump, the themes are dark and heavy which I will not be doing to a ten (and a half) year old Becky

Her powers do get stronger upon hitting the Lexiconian version of puberty; however, excessive use of powers does tire out the user and it's what's being used to weaken her for the fic (among other things, but we'll get to that later)

As mentioned before, the villains view Wordgirl as an adoptive member of their odd, little family. They are highly protective of their super-heroine (at least when it doesn't have to do with their criminal activities!)

The organization is an independently run facility. Being a little too curious on how superpowers work, they decide Becky's the perfect way to see this and, well, you'll just have to read the rest

Becky is an orphan back on Lexicon. This won't be relevant to the fanfic in the slightest, but I wanted to bring it up 'cause why not?

D2B has mixed thoughts on Wordgirl, esp. considering their history. It's just tense all-around but this man would level a building if something happened to her lol

The Butcher, Chuck, and Wordgirl have more of a sibling thing going - although Chuck's kind of like the awkward uncle at a family reunion; and because there may be Cheese Sandwich shipping here but I'm not sure yet

I'm not including every villain, but let me just say things will go very, very south once it becomes apparent what happened to the missing heroine

Tobey's crush on Wordgirl has simmered down over the years, and it did nearly vanish. He sees her as more of an equal - the plans, of course, a little different

This is whump. Becky's the chosen wet cat of the hour, unfortunately and is still a delight for me as writer - I'm going to break her in this, but this does have a happy ending, I swear. Just be patient with me lol

I might make this a multi-chapter, or there's a chance I write a lengthy one-shot. Reader Discretion is advised when reading this because it's going to deep into the prompts and I'm definitely mean when it comes to writing angst/whump

I would definitely say this is 'canon' in a very vague sense. It is set post-canon, but it still wouldn't have anything to do with it; it's just my own interpretation, woof but I'll leave this for now!

[offical-ouroboros]

~introduction~

Late to the party. Here's my intro! I guess.

I'm Uro! I go by it/its.

I do kinda whatever here. I post art, clips and edits from games, and more recently am getting into writing fanfiction.

That's. About it. This was mostly for the fanfiction thing.

--what to expect from any fan fiction blurbs and HCs I write--

Trans reader (FtNB/M) unless specified in request.

You instead of Y/N or _____ lol

Lots of dumb fluffy stuff, projecting myself onto reader character at times. Sorry! I'm used to it :p

Mostly x male characters, but I can write for any gender.

Personal HCs for characters getting put in

I like monsters. A lot. Ask me for x monsters. :)

How to request: Just send me an ask.

What do I write for: Check out what I've recently been talking about! Anything to do with horror has a chance.

Ex: DBD, Borderlands, Poppy Playtime, IDV, Overwatch, Slasher Horror, Monster Hunter Monsters (PLATONIC), D&D (general x monster/race things), HLVRAI, TF2

DOs

Only really x reader or general HCs, but I can also write for poly :)

Fluff, Angst, Suggestive Content

Romantic, Platonic, Familial

Yandere(??) I suppose

DONTs

The obvious ones. I don't have much to say here.

I won't make incest.

Explicit abuse.

Proper NSFW/Smut, just not my thing

Characters off the top of my head I'll write for:

DBD: Literally any killer but Krueger I hate DBD Krueger. Survs (esp Nea and Sable...) also the Entity!

Borderlands: Vault Hunters + Co., Bandits, Colonel Hector, Tina (plat/fam only for bdl2 version.), Basically any enemy actually, platonic with any creatures

Poppy: Any monsters lol. In my versions, they're all inhabited by ADULT workers. Toon/Normal versions included.

IDV: Anyone, hunter preference

Overwatch: Junkers (NOT HAMMOND), Sigma, Lifeweaver, Moira, Illari, Luna (Paris Omnic <3), Omnics in general

Slasher Horror: Like literally anyone, just make sure you specify what they're from/which version you'd like

Monster Hunter: I love almost all the monsters (bugs included) so feel free to ask for anything plat/fam with them

D&D: Mimics for sure. Maybe some Baldur's Gate/Dragon Age characters!

HLVRAI: All characters, especially Benry.

TF2: Literally anyone, pref for mercs at least

Scopophobia: John Doe, Maison, Heim

[destiny-in-the-universe]

two down, another to go.

This is going to a mix of about 4-5 different prompts and it’s going to be very much a doozy, esp. because of the fandom choice. It’s extremely late, and I’m not expecting anyone to see this until sometime tomorrow, but the fandom oddly enough is Cars. As in the Pixar movie!

It’ll be an extremely niche reader group but oh fucking well. This is what I’m fixated on writing apparently. For some explanation, it follows the most alt canon to ever be written but it is implied to take place following the events of Cars 2! Lightning is still a racer and at the top of his game, though things take an unexpected, sudden turn in this - since I just like to be mean when it comes to my favorites lmao which includes this boy. Also! Keep in mind everyone is human.

I will say he gets to go through it and is loosely inspired by a great series on Ao3 which I will link later if I can find. It’s definitely becoming its own multi-chaptered work though I’ll cover that later since I’ve no idea if people will be interested in that!

Read below the cut for more information about the Cars whump prompt!

Whumptober Event

Following an alternative canon, Lightning McQueen has returned for another year of racing in order to win the latest Piston Cup, but when things take an unexpected turn for the worse - will he be able to pick himself back up again?

The characters are, of course, humanized. Timeline wise, it’s supposed to take place after Cars 2, but presumably before Cars 3. There are a few key differences from the canon franchise however.

Cars AU Headcanons

I am not incredibly mean, so despite that my love for angst, suffering, and whump - Doc Hudson is not dead. Also because I’m a complete sucker for Doc’s dynamic with Lightning McQueen, and is a huge part for the incoming series/whump writing event.

Mater is very much Not Straight. He doesn’t have a label on himself, but after breaking things off with Holley Shiftwell - he has begun catching feelings for a certain someone. We’ll get to this later!

Mater is also Extremely Autistic and ADHD. You can’t convince me otherwise, holy shit

Lightning McQueen is so ADHD. This is canon now. I make the rules!

Sarge and Fillmore are in a committed relationship, and have been ever since the 1960’s. This is not center to the au I’m working on, but it’s also going to be referenced so,

Doc Hudson has mobility issues and uses a cane to help him walk. His crash won’t be a main focus, but yes, the cane is a mobility aid due to scarring from the incident in his youth!

Hurt Lightning McQueen means adoptive parent Doc Hudson. This is all you’re getting!

Finn and Holley might not appear in this installation, but they’ll probably get referenced in some way!

Lightning is an orphan. It’s unclear what happened to his parents, so all the people he has are from Radiator Springs.

While it’s not a major focus in this version, and is more in the past, I am very much a Harv basher. Have fun with this!

I’ll expand on this universe later, but the short version - Lightning deals with the aftermath of an incident during a race and the road to recovery is far from easy; at least he has his found family to help every step of the way. In other words, I traumatize Lightning for my own whump serving purposes. I’ll be in touch!

[thatsrightice]

Hello! My name is Olie (She/Her) and I am the aviation-obsessed person running this blog.

main: @waitingforsols

the boys in the boat: @savvylittlecoxswain

band of brothers: @magnoliasforyourmedic

BACKGROUND: I have a mechanical engineering degree with an aerospace minor and I work in the aviation industry.

WHAT DO I LIKE?

Masters of the Air (esp Harry Crosby)

Top Gun (esp Tom “Iceman” Kazansky)

✨ F-14 Tomcat ✨

EAA AirVenture

Research & History

Fighter Pilot Podcast

WHAT DO I POST ABOUT?

Masters of the Air headcanons, prompts, writing ideas, fanfictions, rants, etc.

A LOT of 100th BG historical information

Top Gun headcanons, prompts, writing ideas, fanfictions, rants, etc.

F-14 Tomcat highly technical deep dives

Tons of interesting facts about the F-14, B-17, and aviation history

MY FANFICTION

a lesson in international relations

masters of the air, Croz whump, one-shot

main themes: croz and bubbles get jumped by the Riff RAF, hurt croz, croz & everyone, smart croz!!!,

the war is over and we are beginning

masters of the air, Croz/Rosie, one-shot

main themes: buck’s rosebush, croz/rosie, rosie with a rose, fluff, they’re both so soft for each other

and maybe if i hold you now

masters of the air, croz x bubbles one-shot (like 4k words)

main themes: Crosby x Bubbles, post-reunion in episode 5, misunderstandings, mutual pining, fluff and angst and smut (in that order), Harry Crosby is insecure AF, explicit sexual content (see Ao3 for specific tags), sharing a bed, Harry Crosby definitely experimented in college, Harry Crosby is the dumbest smart person, these boys deserve to be happy

we rest amidst the tumult of war

completed masters of the air croz x rosie multi-chapter fic (8k words)

main themes: crosby/rosie but can be read as platonic, part 6 rewrite, flak house, horseback riding (like actually), fluff and hurt/comfort but mostly comfort, basically 10k words of flirting, these boys deserve to be happy, ft. Rosie’s Riveters, lots of good-natured teasing and jokes, short jokes, insecurities, everyone needs a hug

penguins are flightless birds and so am i

iceman one-shot

main themes: iceman angst, surprise homecoming, hurt/comfort, big fluff, flyboys being flyboys, found family, emotional and physical pain, some military lingo, military accurate (hopefully) underlying future icemav, background HollyWolf, iceman returns home from deployment early but not on his own terms

flying is hard but falling (for you) is easy

multi-chapter icemav fic (WIP)

main themes: iceman AND slider angst, icemav, major platonic slice, hurt/comfort, the boys ™️, flyboys being flyboys <- to the max, flyboy shenanigans, things will get worse before it gets better, everyone needs a hug (especially iceman), takes place a couple months after top gun on the USS Enterprise, soft Iceman and protective everyone else, emotional pain, iceman knows he’s in love but refuses to do anything about it and maverick doesn’t know he’s in love but is doing everything about it <- that’s it, that’s the fic

FOR YOUR REFERENCE :)

F-14 Tomcat Accidents & Issues

The following is a compilation of issues with the F-14 Tomcat that have been encountered by pilots throughout its lifespan due to both mechanical and other reasons. Some are based on individual accidents and some cover epidemics in which many aircraft were lost to the issue *cough* compressor stalls *cough* basically it’s a bunch of ways you can hurt your fav characters in your fics.

F-14 Tomcat Variants

A beginner’s guide to identifying and differentiating the different F-14 Tomcat variants using three distinctive, easy-to-spot features: Glove Vanes, Engine Exhaust Nozzle (aka “Turkey Feathers”), and Sensor Pods.

Flight of the Tomcat

Flight basics of the F-14 Tomcat with diagrams

What Did F-14 Tomcat Pilots Wear?

A little guide including links to videos from a former F-14 Pilot showing and putting on what he wore when he was flying the Tomcat.

FREQUENT TAGS

# just a little thing I wrote

where you’ll find my Top Gun h/c’s, writings, musings, rants, prompts, analysis, etc.

# mota musings

same as #justalittlethingiwrote but for Masters of the Air and Harry Crosby

#FFFOTD or #F-14 Fun Fact of the Day

want to learn something new about the F-14 tomcat?

#research or #information

basically what it says

#top gun or #masters of the air

makes sense

#f-14 tomcat

kind of a given, but will likely include primarily technical posts

#reference

some guides and information stuff you could use to help better understand aviation or the f-14 tomcat

#f14 tomcat has ✨issues✨

if you’re looking for ways to hurt your favorite top gun characters without it being pilot error, check out this tag

MY AVIATION ORIGIN STORY

Basically, and I’m not exaggerating, I randomly decided to make a sad-excuse for a helicopter as a part of our wood shop unit in middle school. I genuinely do not know why I chose a helicopter, there is no reason for me to have chosen a helicopter lol. My wood shop teacher is like “I’m actually very intrigued on why you picked a helicopter like what made you pick it? I’m impressed!” And I literally had not answer for him.

My interest was solidified when I went to EAA AirVenture. Watching the F-22 Raptor fly was and always will be breathtaking to me. That demo gave me the love for military aviation and especially fighters that I have today.

[annasinterests]

don't look at me like that unless you mean it

smiling, having fun ♫ feeling like a number one

|| series masterlist || main masterlist ||

a/n: god dayum this took me so long to put out and i sincerely apologize friends!!! my family's been in town and i've been planning trips with my bf for the next couple of weeks so i've just been sooo busy. to make up for it, enjoy the longest chapter i've written yet :)) i legit had so much fun writing it but i also fussed w/ it a ton because i wanted to get it just how i envisioned it. nuff' ramblin' from me, love y'all, enjoy !

word count: 9.8k (i had over 10k written b4 editing but still omfg!)

pairings: joel miller x f!reader

warnings & tags: minors dni, cursing, joel/reader/tommy being cute, tommy being an instigator lowkey, mutual pining, joel and reader going on a lil 'date', sexual themes, mentions of alcohol/being drunk, honestly kinda self-indulgent esp on the music parts, angst RAAAAAAAAH — please tell me if i missed anything!

Friday. Thank God.

As the morning light painted the sky in soft hues, you opted to savor your coffee on the front porch with your feet kicked up on the deck railing, basking in the quiet before the day's festivities consumed the town.

The early hour granted you respite from the scorching sun, sparing you the discomfort of the sweltering heat that would undoubtedly arrive later. Dressed in a small tank top and shorts, you relished the cool breeze that gently brushed against your skin. Tilting your head back, you closed your eyes, allowing the sounds of chirping birds to serenade you and the warm rays envelop you in a soothing embrace.

You thought back to last night with Ellie, how much fun you had with her even though you passed out before the movie was even over. It was the perfect start to your two days of rest, and it prompted you to commit a rare act of self-care by pushing off your new workload until the new week started.

You always did something on your days off for Jackson, whether it was doing a few favors for neighbors or finding yourself in Maria’s office all day. Nothing ever to give yourself the time you deserved.

And maybe it was selfish– irresponsible, even– but you needed a real break, and when would you get that if not today? Tonight promised laughter, music, and camaraderie. All your problems and issues would still be there tomorrow anyway.

"Put some clothes on, would you?" You jerked your head forward to meet Tommy walking up with a grin on his face. You rolled your eyes.

"I'll put on more clothes when you shave off that disaster you call a mustache."

He put his hand over his chest that shook with laughter and took the vacant seat next to you. When you offered him coffee, he politely declined, chuckling when you insisted that you could add whiskey to it for him. "I actually came to ask a favor."

He watched as you peered down at the imaginary watch on your wrist before giving him a skeptical look. “Tommy, if you’re asking me to work, the answer is-”

“No! God, no.” You let out a thank fuck under your breath. “It’s for tonight.”

You raised your eyebrows as you drew a sip from your coffee. For tonight? He took your silence as a cue to continue.

"Joel tells me that you've got quite the music collection. I was wonderin' if I could borrow a couple of your tapes or CDs or whatever y'got?"

You thought about it for half a second, but pretended to be in deep contemplation. He grew antsy, attempting to seriously reason with you, and when you couldn't hold it together any longer, you hid your grin behind your mug as you watched him realize that you were fucking with him. You got up from your seat and signaled for him to follow you inside as you grabbed cassettes for his cause.

Joel had been in the kitchen pouring himself a cup from the pot you had already brewed. You peered around the corner to set your mug on the counter, flashing him a bright smile before quickly scurrying off, catching a glimpse of how his face dropped from a smile to confusion upon hearing more footsteps in the house. You giggled once you heard his groan, followed by 'Jesus, don't you know what time it is?'

You picked through your pile, grabbing tapes that you were certain would be winners. Once content with your selection, you brought them back to Tommy in the kitchen. His eyes and smile widened at the handful, carefully taking them into his possession. Joel, still clearly waking up, watched the interaction with a dull curiosity over the rim of his mug, flickering his gaze from you, to the cassettes, and lastly Tommy.

Your eyes lingered on the tapes, a small smile brought to your face at the pure nostalgia they held. You knew each track on each tape, word for word. You remembered when you heard them for the first time, what life had felt like, and when you found yourself listening to them the most. Normally, you'd feel hesitant to lend out your most prized possessions. They’d been with you ever since before outbreak day, and the one constant you had since the beginning that got you through your toughest times. But this was Tommy, and you didn’t have to think twice about whether or not you could trust him.

"Wait, I almost forgot!" You snapped out of your thinking to go and retrieve another part from your pile. You handed him a small deck of index cards binded together with twine in what was your own way of personally cataloging. "It's already in order, by cassette and song title, so you can figure out if there's something you don't wanna play.. or whatever you got planned." You lazily gestured.

The brothers exchanged a look before turning their attention to the cards. Joel set his coffee down and took the thin stack from Tommy, reading over it together as they glanced back and forth between the cardstock and the tapes. The corner of his mouth curled up as he skimmed over the songs, making it impossible for you not to smile either. You sheepishly looked down while rolling your feet from heel to toe with your hands behind your back, feeling like a kid showing their parents a piece of art they made at school.

"Had the world not gone to shit, you could’ve been a mean music curator.” Joel waved the cards between his thumb and forefinger, a suppressed laugh leaving your lips.

“Yeah.. damn, these bring back some good memories. Buncha’ old ones on here, some even way before our time.” Tommy motioned between himself and Joel.

The small smile on Joel’s face grew bigger, his face becoming more lively at a realization. “Y’know, ‘lotta these were popular bar songs. You were just shy of eighteen back then, weren’t you?”

Tommy quickly caught on to Joel’s train of thought, matching his grin. You stared at him with a subtle smirk, knowing that he knew he was right, and only asked to make it a point that he knew that. And in a way, you found it kind of.. hot? He was keenly aware of your timeline and able to make the connections that no one else really could. He didn’t have to do the mental math like Tommy probably was after he said it. You felt a surge of heat in your cheeks and on the tip of your ears as their gaze on you persisted, waiting for you to answer.

“.. I may or may not have snuck into them..”

Their voices overlapped with elation, to which you stuck up a middle finger for each Miller.

“Sounds like you were living on the edge,” Tommy peered down at Joel’s hand, “..of seventeen.”

Before you could open your mouth to scold Tommy for popping the corniest joke in all of the apocalypse, he and Joel fell into their own fit of laughter, bumping shoulders and elbowing one another. So proud and smug of their joint-effort to expose your rebellious years. But you found yourself grinning, not at the joke, but at them.

You shook your head, letting out a mix of a laugh and sigh, “Alright, you boys had your fun. Now Joel, why don’t you do your big brother duties and show Tommy the way out?”

He raised a brow at you, bringing his mug to his lips, “Must I remind you that it was you that brought him in here, not me?”

Tommy raised his hands up in defense as you glared at Joel, “Alright- I’ll see myself out.” He winked at you as he walked past, “Give you a break before ya’ gotta deal with me tonight.”

You and Joel walked him to the door, exchanging goodbyes until later this evening. Just before stepping out, Tommy suddenly turned over his shoulder to you. "Oh! Before I forget– Are you seein’ anybody?”

You froze at his question, your smile slacked and your eyes widened. The residual feeling of laughter in your chest subsided quickly as if it never existed in the first place. He held up his left hand, “Not for me, obviously.”

You rolled your eyes, then narrowing them at him. “Yeah, no shit. What, are you playing matchmaker for me?”

“Not for you, someone else.” A shit-eating grin appeared on his face. “So, are you?”

The short answer was no. You were too busy with leading your life in Jackson.. And being hopelessly in love with his brother.

“Uh– no. I’m not.”

Joel's gaze shifted towards you, your words evoking enough of a reaction out of him, to which Tommy caught and raised an eyebrow with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. They bounced between you and Joel as if he had caught a whiff of the unspoken agreement you two held. You felt your cheeks go hot again, knowing that your words hadn't gone unnoticed by either of them.

He bid a final farewell with an unconvincing nod that left you both standing in the foyer quietly, which was luckily cut short by Ellie coming through the back door, giving you both the perfect excuse to forget all about.. whatever that was.

She rubbed away the sleep in her eyes, murmuring a good morning to you and Joel as she made her way into the kitchen, both of you treading in after her. You inquired about the basics. How'd you sleep? Want me to make you something for breakfast? Do you want orange juice? What are your plans for the day? Joel watched as you engaged in conversation, admiration and warmth flaring in his chest as you seamlessly transitioned into your role as a caretaker.

You were receptive when she shared her plans for the day, further inquiring about smaller details of her schedule. He watched as Ellie became more animated the more she got to talk about her day ahead, especially as you encouraged her.

"What about you guys? Don't you both have off today?" Ellie faced in her chair so that she could clearly see you both.

You exchanged a glance with Joel before you both shrugged your shoulders. You hadn't realized that he had the day off as well, if you were being completely honest. As you thought about it, it occured to you that you hadn't gotten to figure that part out, since Tommy and all. When you confessed that you hadn’t planned anything for the day, Ellie’s eyes squinted in deep thought for a moment, then looked back at you both, “Why don’t you guys do something together?

You straightened up at her proposal, mildly thrown off, sharing another look with Joel before you both attempted to give a series of excuses, which just came out in a mess of jumbled, almost incoherent words.

“Oh, come on! You guys almost never do anything together.”

You folded your arms in defiance, but it came off more as a pout. “Yes, we do.”

“Sitting at home together doesn’t count.” You opened your mouth to disagree, but nothing came out. “Go out! Have a date or something.”

You nearly choked on your coffee as Joel sighed, speaking with caution, “Ellie–”

“Anyways! I’m off to Dina’s for the day.” She beamed and laughed in victory as she watched you two writhe in place. You could hear the smile in her voice as she left out the back door, “You kids have fun tonight, and make good decisions!”

God– first Tommy, now her. It couldn’t have been past nine yet.

You hand cradled your elbow, the other hand covering your eyes as your thumb and middle finger kneaded at your temples. Okay, maybe she was right. Maybe you and Joel didn’t spend proper ‘quality time’ together, but it just wasn’t something that either one of you were accustomed to. Before Jackson, the most you were able to be alone outside of your apartments were during smuggle runs, which was definitely not the type of recreational activity that she was referring to, and once you picked her up and finally settled here, your lives were centered around her and your respective jobs for the community.

Joel crossed his arms and leaned in the doorway that bordered the dining room, staring at the back door and then subsequently at you. You hadn’t noticed him looking, still hiding behind your hand to mask your embarrassment, and saw how his eyes raked over your figure, taking in how little clothes you were wearing. The black tank top was a deep cut halter that exposed your arms, chest, and just the littlest bit of midriff. Your shorts matched in color, the fabric just hovering over the higher part of your thighs with slits up the sides.

It was a good thing for him that you had your eyes covered. You weren’t able to see how his tongue poked over his bottom lip and his eyes that were drawn to your cleavage that was accentuated by your arms drawn together. Even with your fair share of scars, your skin looked so perfect and soft under the glow of sunlight through the window, so much that he could barely keep himself back from touching you, wanting to trace the contours of your arms with his fingers and hold your face in his palms again.

His heart thumped in his chest as he wondered what it would feel like to rub your legs against his under bed sheets. How it would feel to press his fingertips into the soft flesh of your hips–

“Joel?”

His head jerked up slightly as his eyes darted to yours. “What?”

Irked, you threw your hand away from your face in an exasperated manner, “Do you wanna come?

He stared dumbly at you, stuttering, “Do I- w-what?”

“To Lake Falwich! Weren’t you listening?” You threw him an incredulous look as he shook his head to himself, apparent to you that he in fact hadn’t listened to a damn word you said.

Lake Falwich was located off of Elk Creek, an area you and Joel switched off on patrolling. You’d found the place when you went off-path during your first summer patrol, deeming it as another little hidden gem of Jackson County. Over the years, you grew fond of it and made it a point to frequent it whenever beyond the walls, but you hadn’t been yet this season.

“Uh, yeah– Yes– Sure.”

You didn’t know what had gotten into him in the last few minutes, but you couldn’t deny that you enjoyed seeing him all flustered and not being able to keep eye contact with you. How the tables turned for once.

“I’ll be ready to head out in ten.” You began to head towards the stairs for your room, but stopped at his side and placed your hand on his shoulder, curling your fingers over the muscle, “Don’t keep me waiting.”

A grin adorned your face as you walked away, leaving Joel to hang onto the sensation that burned his skin where you touched him and force himself to calm down from the excitement growing in his pants. He hadn’t really known what he’d just gotten himself into with you, and you were pleasantly surprised at his answer as you half-expected him to come up with some reason to not go.

But one thing was clear to you both: It was definitely not a date.

Your hands draped near the straps of his pack by his hips as you rode out, brushing against his belt and jeans every so often. It wasn’t a difficult route by any means; fairly smooth and clear of any obstructions.

Being the passenger gave you the opportunity to be immersed by your surroundings rather than having to focus in front of you. You got to pay attention to the small things, like the rhythmic beat of the horse’s hooves against the ground and the scent of pine mingled with the earthy aroma of the forest. The trees towered above you, their branches forming a natural canopy that filtered the sunlight, casting dappled shadows on the trail. Every so often, the trees would give way to open meadows, where wildflowers swayed in the gentle breeze.

When you weren’t being captivated by nature, your attention was drawn back to Joel. The heat had caused his hair to curl at the nape of his neck that was slicked with sweat, seeping into the collar of his dark gray shirt that stretched across his shoulders and back with more splotches of sweat. Now and then, you’d get a glimpse of his profile when he scouted around. You felt like a teenager getting to hang out with her crush that she’d had since elementary school, your stomach doing flips just from the proximity alone.

The ride itself was filled with comfortable silence, punctuated by moments of look there and did you see that? with every passing mile. You could get used to this– having these little outings together.

You could hear the rushing water before you could see it, the sound of it growing louder and louder until it finally came into view. When the landscape presented itself before you, you felt a child-like thrill growing in your chest. The clear water shimmered with a vivid turquoise hue that seemed almost unreal, partnered with tall limestone walls that framed the lake. Smaller stone structures and boulders formed near the base of the waterfall, enticing you to explore and conquer their heights again like you’d done in the past. The vegetation extended all around the area, mosses and ferns clung to the rock walls in a tapestry of greenery. It all gave you a sense of simultaneous exhilaration and peace.

Eager to get to the water, you dismounted from the horse before Joel could hitch it, causing him to call out after you in protest and watch you with a careful eye as he got everything situated. You stood at the mouth of the lake with your boots kicked off when he joined you, slowly following suit.

“So.. What do you wanna do now?”

With the heat, there was only one thing to do.

“Jump in.” You pointed to a ledge that was a considerable height up. “From there.”

He met where your finger signaled, then back to you with a quizzical look. “Don’t you reckon that’s a bit high?”

You shrugged your shoulders and threw a smile over your shoulder as you walked away from him, earning a scoff and one of his typical disapproving head shakes. His eyes stayed on you as you made your way, widening when you started to peel off your clothes piece by piece.

First off was your tank top, slipping it effortlessly over your head, then the undoing of your belt and shimmying out of your jeans. You’d stripped down to only a sports bra and underwear, both of which happened to match, which was very much unplanned. Through each removal of clothing, Joel couldn’t help but have his eyes glued to you. He became restless, running his hands through his hair and turning around just to face back to you because he simply couldn’t keep his eyes off you. And when you looked back at him, you felt a little boost of confidence in seeing how he kept his attention on you.

You ascended the rocks, reaching your desired spot and standing proudly, waving your arms above your head at a miffed Joel. The air was filled with a refreshing mist, carrying the fragrance of damp earth and the invigorating energy of the cascading waterfall. The lake below you offered a new perspective on how high you really were, and for a second, you considered that Joel was maybe right.

But fuck it.

Your legs propelled you forward, curling up as you plummeted, and your shouts of joy drowned out by the thunderous roar of the falls. The water engulfed you, prickling your body with its cold touch. Submerged beneath the surface, you held onto the sensation of being weightless, listening to nothing but the ebb and flow of the currents and feeling them weave through your fingertips.

You emerged from the depths to the sun’s warmth on your face. When you refocused your vision, you saw that Joel was standing in the same spot as before, now with his arms crossed against his chest. You swam closer to the shoreline.

“Come on, water’s fine!” He shook his head. “It wasn’t a question, now get your ass in here, Miller!”

He rolled his eyes and huffed, shaking his head once more before pulling off his shirt by the collar and tossing it aside with his boots and pack, and despite being in the freezing water, you flooded with heat at the sight of him. You’d only seen him in small increments when tending his wounds, but now you could finally know what he looked like underneath those damned clothes.

Just as you suspected, his shoulders were strong with muscle, and the prominent veins in his hands and forearms traveled upwards through his biceps. His chest and abdomen were toned and had an even layer of hair, and you basically drooled at the definition of his hips and the trail of hair leading down that was secured by a belt. Beyond his attractive features, though, you saw his scars of survival. His torso littered with healed lesions, many of which you cared for, and a significant mark near his side that reflected the time of his near-death.

“Don’t splash me now, alright?” He stifled a laugh as he undid his belt, which took all your self-control to not watch his hands and think ungodly things. Once he stripped down to his boxer briefs, he stepped further into the lake, wincing at the coldness as he got deeper. When the water reached his thighs, he sucked in a sharp breath and hissed, “Shit- That’s cold.”

You were too busy gaping at how muscles tensed and contorted to make a stupid remark. He delved deeper into the lake until he fully submerged himself, surfacing quickly and shaking out his hair, which was doing things for you. In all the years you spent with him, you didn’t think that he could possibly get more attractive, nor did you think that you’d ever be like this right now, yet here you were.

In what was supposed to be a little fun getaway from all the stresses of the world, you found yourself seriously lusting for him in this moment, which was a stress all on its own. You were alone in a very much secluded area, only an article of clothing or two away from being naked, moreover. The very thought sent you over the edge, making you physically ache where you wanted him the most. How easy it’d be to just close the distance and get lost in him for hours.

The fact that you couldn’t do that, though, pained you viscerally. You couldn’t keep looking at him, or else you’d do something stupid, so you closed your eyes and spread your limbs out to drift on your back. You focused on your breathing, honing in on how your body bobbed with each inhale and exhale and letting the water guide you in any direction.

The next few hours were spent floating, challenging Joel to swimming races, and jumping off the rocks to see who could make the bigger splashes. You found yourselves in lots of banter and bickering, especially when you did a flip off of a ledge and Joel was very displeased that you could’ve hit your head. All you could feel was pure, unadulterated happiness. Together, you were having fun. Real fun. Enjoying each other’s company and nature’s playground.

A while after you returned to drifting on your backside, an unfamiliar sensation across your back and thighs caused you to flail and frantically look around. Sheer panic rose as you realized that you’d drifted off into the deeper end, and you tried to calmly but quickly thrust yourself back into shallow waters.

“Somethin’ got you scared?” Joel had been awfully calm with an arrogant grin on his face, and his laughter rung out clear in the air as he watched you go through the motions of panic, confusion, and finally disdain.

You feigned indignation. “Don’t be a dick.”

Once your feet touched the solid floor, you waded and found a spot to sit in the safety of the shallows, pulling your knees up and resting your arms on them. As Joel drew in to join you, you watched as the water lapped at his waist, drawing your attention to the band of his boxer briefs that seemed to hang dangerously low on his hips and how they clung to him in a way that’d have all the women in Jackson ready on their knees for him. His body swayed with a subtle rhythm and cadence that was uniquely his; full of purpose and so.. virile. You averted your gaze to the sediment of where you sat in an attempt to rid yourself of the thoughts you were having.

The clearness allowed you to examine its composition of pebbles and rocks of all kinds, and you picked up handfuls of them to admire their different qualities, quickly getting wrapped up in recognizing unique patterns and markings. Joel watched as you threw the ones you didn’t like further into the lake, like it was a process of elimination until you found the best one.

When you liked one, you wordlessly handed it to him without taking your attention away from the ones in front of you. There was a serene grace in your actions, as if you were entrusting him with something fragile and precious, and he took notice of the care in which you handled each stone. He’d give it a once over, his fingers gliding over the surface, before dropping it back into your hand. There was something about you doing this, yielding to human nature’s innocent curiosity, that made it so much more than just a seemingly mundane exchange to him.

Your eyes met his briefly, and you saw he was truly relaxed from how the hard lines of his face were softened. The sun shone on him in where you could really see the depths of his eyes; the green-gold that seeped into a lighter brown around his pupil, creating the most beautiful iris structure you’d ever seen. His skin held a perpetual tan with freckles all over his shoulders, a feature that you weren’t necessarily familiar with. Waves and curls formed near his ears and forehead as his hair dried, most of it disheveled and left you wanting to run your fingers through to tame it. Your eyes drifted to his body for a moment, overly cognizant of how much bigger he was compared to you. With a tinge of a smile, you turned back to your little stones, gently placing them back in the water in a decision to leave them where they belonged.

“As much as I’ve enjoyed this,” Joel’s voice filled the silence, “we should get goin’ soon. Promised Tommy I’d swing by to help set up a couple things.”

You hummed in acknowledgment. If there was one thing about Joel, it was that he always showed up for Tommy, no matter how big or small it was. Even if it was a five-minute task or a project that Tommy was entirely capable of doing on his own, Joel was always there. You had that in common with him, back when you had your brother.

As you were about to stand, Joel hovered over you with an extended hand. You clasped it with your own as you gained your balance, but when doing so, your eyes caught a glimpse of something slithering right under your feet. You yelped at the sight, tightening your grip around his hand, and he instinctively pulled you to him, wrapping a protective arm around your waist while acting as a shield between you and the potential danger. He scanned the water, catching on to what you saw: a plains garter snake.

At the sound of his chuckle, you braced yourself against his chest in confusion as his arms were still around you. “What’s so funny?”

“It’s not-” he loosened his hold, but his hands still splayed over your waist. “It’s harmless, nothin’ to worry about.”

“Oh.” You bowed your head forward in relief and slight embarrassment, and a faint smile played at his lips. Your hands were still on each other, almost as if you were trying to play it out as long as possible until either you pulled away or he did, which winded up being the former. You drew back to yourself, stepping backwards as he released you. “Thanks.”

You both retrieved your belongings and set up on a flat bed of rock to dry out, another comfortable silence enveloping you once again as you bathed in the warmth. With your arm slung over your eyes, you could only sense Joel’s presence beside you. You slid your arm up to peer at him, his eyes fixed on the lake. His legs were drawn towards his chest with his forearms on his knees, his chest rising and falling in calm breaths. There was a peacefulness in his expression, a sense of contentment that mirrored your own. You smiled before covering up again, but he caught you at the last second.

“What’re you thinkin’ about over there?”

You brushed off his question. “Who says I’m thinking?”

“If there’s one thing about you, it’s that you’re never not thinkin’.” You sat up at the accusatory words, arching your eyebrows in disbelief. “Go on now, don’t keep me in suspense.”

“I..” a grin spread on your face, “..was thinking about how much fun your shift must’ve been with Fitz yesterday.”

You giggled as he let out a groan, successfully diverting away from where the conversation was leading. “Oh, it was a fuckin’ shift alright– and I don’t wanna talk too much about work, but he shouldn’t be bothering you anymore.”

You faced him and leaned back on your hand, eyeing him, “Joel, what did you-”

“I took care of it.” He left no room for you to speak, his voice stern. He softened a moment after once he realized how it came out a little too sharp. He lowered his attention down to his hands, rubbing his thumb into his palm, “..Not s’pose to treat a woman the way he does, especially when it’s you.”

A moment came and went in where it looked like he regretted his words, fearing that he may have revealed too much, or maybe not enough. But what you felt was incomparable to anything you’d ever felt before, hearing him tell you– blatantly admit to you that he regarded you differently than other people, and that if someone crossed you, they were crossing him too. You always knew he had your six, but this was different than that.

“Why didn’t you tell me he was doin’ that? Or Tommy?”

Those dumb, beautiful eyes conveyed a genuine concern that immediately made you feel guilty for not saying something sooner when you very well could’ve. At the same time, you didn’t want to fuss or make a big deal out of it. It was better that it was you than someone else, like Joel. So you tolerated it, because you were still able to do your job even with an annoying fucking twat as your partner.

“I never took him seriously. I thought he’d just stop if I ignored it enough, but.. clearly not.” You gave a half-suppressed laugh, knowing how ridiculous and naive it sounded out loud. He sighed at your answer, making you fidget, “I know! I know. You’re right– it was stupid of me-”

“Sweetheart–” his hand on your leg and delicious southern drawl shut you right up, “nothin’ stupid about you tryin’ to keep the peace. Just.. let me know next time, okay?”

All you could do was nod, dumbfounded by this new, open protectiveness towards you. He knew better than anyone else how you could handle yourself, but he still couldn’t help but feel that it was his job to keep you safe and be your advocate when you weren’t your own.

Without another word, he rose and offered you a hand up, indicating that enough time had passed and you should get going if you were going to be on time for the party. You accepted the gesture again, but he held your hand longer this time as he guided you down the rocks so that you wouldn’t trip, a chivalrous act that also gave an excuse to linger on your skin.

A hot shower was what you needed to scrub the freshwater off your skin and out of your hair, also to give you some much needed relief from having to control yourself the whole time you were with him, but of course you did that after he left since you shared his bathroom.

The sun dipped lower in the sky, casting a golden glow over Jackson. The vibrant energy of the evening pulsed through the town, the streets alive with people as they made their way to the most popular establishment, laughter and music floating through the air. You’d gone through about four outfits before ultimately deciding on a ribbed henley tank, jeans, and sneakers

Just before running out the door, you checked yourself in the mirror to smooth any stray hairs away from your face. With a smile, you stepped out, falling in with your neighbors who’d been on their way over as well, engaging in conversation on the short walk there. There’d been a crowd gathered outside the Tipsy Bison, people mingling and sharing stories, some already on their second round of drinks.

Through the doors you were immediately greeted by a wave of warmth and liveliness. Your eyes danced around the bar, jumping from full booths and high tables, to the large alcohol selection behind the counter guarded by about three barkeeps if you were counting right. The air was filled with a thousand different scents, ranging from beer and cigarettes to perfume and aftershave. And lastly, the sounds which brought it all together, the clinking of glasses and hum of conversation, and of course, music. Your music that people were enjoying.

Searching the crowd, you spotted familiar faces and friends scattered throughout the place, engrossed in their own circles, but the one person you actively sought out was nowhere in sight. Your efforts slowed as you heard a picking of chords grow louder over the speakers, causing a wild smile to grow on your face.

♫

I looked out this morning and the sun was gone Turned on some music to start my day I lost myself in a familiar song

♫

“I closed my eyes and I slipped awaaay!” Tommy appeared at your side two shots in one hand and unopened beers between his fingers in the other, slinging the arm around your shoulder as he pushed the small glass into your hands.

Without hesitation, you threw the shot back with him, feeling the instant burn go down your throat. You both popped off the beer caps off a nearby counter, a party trick you’d gotten quite good at over the years, before rushing over to the middle of the floor to join the rest of the party and sing your hearts out to your first song of the night. You could barely hear yourself over the speakers and fellow singers, saving you from the embarrassment from being incredibly off-key. Your body reacted instantly to the music, finding the rhythm and constantly moving in accordance. That was the other thing about music, you felt most comfortable in your skin when you listened and danced to it, being able to fall in with whatever played. In between the verses, you hurried over to the bar to grab more shots and beers, slamming doubles back before pulling each other back to the floor.

You and Tommy locked arms and pressed back to back while holding up your bottles in a toast-fashion, switching off during the last chorus and refrain and holding out the longer notes.

♫

It’s more than a feeling (More than a feeling!)

When I hear that old song they used to play (More than a feeling!)

I begin dreaming (More than a feeling!) ...

♫

The alcohol was slowly but surely taking over, a key indicator being the warm, fuzzy buzzing that flourished throughout your body. You clung to Tommy’s shoulder and leaned towards his ear during a break between songs, “Tommy, this is way better than I thought it was gonna be!”

He looked at you with wide eyes and a grin, “I know right! Joel really helped pull it together before we opened the doors!”

You smiled at the compliment towards his brother, then furrowing your brows. “Where is he, anyway?”

You both looked around for a moment before Tommy steered you off to the side, yelling that it was too hard to see from the middle, and your efforts were put on pause again as you winded up near a large group of patrolmen that grabbed Tommy’s attention. He dragged you with him to socialize, though you mainly watched from the outskirts of the circle, smiling and nodding along where the conversations went as you didn’t have much to say or add.

When you went to drink from your bottle, you noticed the lightness of it and realized that you needed another, giving you the perfect excuse to slip away and look for him. You checked over your shoulders as you squeezed your way through to the bar to request your next drink, and it didn’t help that the room was dimly lit and was accompanied by flashing strobes.

The barkeep slid you a bottle across the counter and you swiftly popped it off, taking a swig before turning around right into somebody. An apology flew out of your mouth before you could even see who it was, their voice catching your attention and making you look at them.

“Hey, no worries! Both still got our drinks, yeah?”

Samson flashed you a grin, his hand light on your arm but enough to keep you steady. You raised your beer to him, his eyes flickered between it and you before raising his own and tapping the neck of your bottles together. You both took another swig.

As you got into conversation, you moved away from the bar towards the wall where there wasn’t much action going on. You talked about how nice the place had been transformed for the night and shared your favorite drinks, occasionally dropping a drunk-story from your youths. And the weird part? You found yourself genuinely enjoying his presence. With the way he kept eye-contact with you and made you feel like he was actually listening and comprehending the words falling out of your mouth, laughing and giving you verbal cues that he was following along, it made you see him in a way you hadn’t before.

You were.. enchanted. If it had been any other man, they’d dominate the conversation, going on about themselves the whole time and forcing you to listen. But with Samson, he treated you like an equal. He never cut you off or interjected to relate, waiting until you were entirely done or if you allowed him to weigh in between your thoughts.

“By the way–” he wiped his mouth of any residual beer, “I don’t want this to come off as weird, but you look incredible tonight. I don't think I’ve ever seen you dress in anything other than like, work clothes– and not that you look bad in that!” You giggled as he tripped over his words, his cheeks flushing a deeper shade. “What I’m trying to say is that I think you’re very beautiful, and I don’t want you to think I’m like Fitz.”

Your fingers brushed against his arm, furrowing your eyebrows at him for thinking such things, “Awh, Samson! You’re nothing like him, I hope you know that.”

He smiled down at his feet before back at you, “I know the other day you said that you and Joel weren’t a thing, and Tommy told me you weren’t seeing anybody– so I guess I’m just triple checking here– is there someone in the picture?”

So this was who Tommy was playing matchmaker for.

Your heart slowed and you fought to keep the innocent smile on your face. Was he approaching you at the bar when you bumped into him? Was he pretending to act like that just to segue into this? Several things ran through your mind as your eyes drifted away from his, and just when he was about to call you back to attention, the devil himself appeared: Tommy.

He swooped in around Samson’s shoulders, nursing a beer in hand. He held a smugness in his demeanor, surely you thought it was about the scene he’d set up until he spoke.

“Looks like you may have a roommate for the night.”

He jerked his hand behind him to a woman leaning against a pillar with Joel standing mere inches in front of her. He stood still with his hands to himself, but dropped his head closer to hers with a clear smile on his face. She beamed up at him with a look you knew all too well, not even attempting to conceal her attraction to him. She laughed too much for your liking while gripping his bicep, probably sneaking in some flirty comment with a double-meaning. Good fucking God.

You thought maybe you had a breakthrough at the lake, but this proved that you clearly didn’t, and you couldn’t believe you were stupid enough to think that what he said had any depth underneath it. Joel cared about you– this you knew. He cared in the same way he cared for Tommy and Ellie. But somewhere along the lines you’d gotten it confused with love, something he had for them, but maybe not you. Samson’s words replayed in your head in a painful reminder.

You said you and Joel weren’t a thing… Tommy told me you weren’t seeing anybody.. Is there someone in the picture?

Your eyes widened then narrowed, your jaw wiring shut as your chest began to heave. Tommy’s grin fell as he watched your features morph into something between resent and heartbreak, his eyes nervously peering from you, to Joel, to Samson as the alcohol took a momentary backseat.

He’d always sensed something between you and Joel after you settled in, though he knew that neither one of you would ever admit to your feelings for each other out of stubbornness. But he saw the way Joel looked at you after saying you didn’t have someone to call your own this morning, how his big brother almost looked offended by the truth of your answer. The reality was that Samson was interested in you, but Tommy had seen it as an opportunity to put pressure on the status between you both, and now he saw that it didn’t go in the direction of which he hoped and it was clearly affecting you.

“Oh, y’know he won’t take ‘er home! Never’s taken anyone. Not like that with him. Too chickenshit.” He tried his best to play off his earlier comment to put you at ease, but by the way the gap seemed to be closing between them only made the green-eyed monster rear its ugly head in full force.

You cleared your throat as you broke away, grabbing three shots off a nearby high table and handing them to the two men before you, needing to wash down the bitter taste in your mouth. “Oh, Tommy, you must’ve mistaken me for someone who cares. Who knows if I’ll even be going home tonight?”

Samson’s face lit up in surprise as you wiggled your brows at him and grabbed his hand to lead away while leaving Tommy open-mouthed as he saw right through your spite. Breathless curses left his mouth as he watched you disappear through the crowd, a frustration growing towards you and Joel for being so goddamn stupid about each other.

The barkeeps fed you two more shots and another beer. The alcohol was definitely hitting now. A few minutes ago, you were properly pissed off, wanting to storm up to Joel and give him a piece of your mind and telling the woman to go kick rocks, but now you were all over Samson, turning up the charm for him. It didn’t matter anymore if he just wanted to fuck, because maybe you’d just let him. He let out a chuckle and smiled, prompting you to tilt your head at him in question.

“The music tonight has been so fucking good,” he drank from the bottle, a smirk forming on your face, “I mean, when was the last time you heard this song?”

The bass riff and guitars let you know exactly what song had been playing, a long-time favorite of yours. You could’ve answered 'a couple months ago' to his question, but you took silent pride in knowing that he was another person impressed by your picks. He understood your cue as you turned your head to the middle of the room and back, placing his hand on the small of your back as you weaved through people. You wrapped an arm around his shoulder as he drew you closer to him by your waist, moving in sync to the beat.

♫

One of these nights One of these crazy old nights We're gonne find out pretty mama What turns on your lights ...

♫

If intimacy, yearning, and sex was a song, surely it’d be this one.

♫

Ooh.. someone to be kind to In between the dark and the light ...

♫

You sang out with your heart, pressing your body into Samson’s, but knowing the lyrics were about him. And deep down, you wanted him to hear it and think of you. Think of how you were the daughter of the devil himself and the angel in white, the woman he’s been looking for with a little of both and how she is in sight.

Around you were all couples reflecting exactly what you’d been doing, some doing more but your eyes didn’t linger on them long. You caught the faces of work friends and neighbors totally focused on their person as you swayed around, smiling at their fun. Eventually, the whole room sang along, an imperfect harmony to your ears that you couldn’t get tired of hearing tonight.

As the song winded down, Samson held you closer and craned his head down until your foreheads and noses were touching, still swaying to the guitar riffs. You took it a step further and pressed your mouth to his, your hand cupping his cheek and fingertips grazing his hair. You hadn’t expected anything out of it other than the feeling of your lips on someone else’s, but you didn’t pull away. You couldn’t. Your tongues found one another every other kiss, deepening as they went. His warmth kept you glued to him, and you found yourself taking a liking to his taste of alcohol and.. mint, maybe? Definitely something with an icy, refreshing hint.

You didn’t realize how long you’d been kissing, or kissing enough times that it was leading to straight-up making out, until you heard clear hoots and whistles during the switch between songs. When you pulled away, his lips were noticeably more plump compared to earlier, and the tingling sensation on yours let you know that they probably looked the same. You bit your bottom lip as you looked around at the ones cheering you on, the corners of your mouth curling up, but you broke out into a complete grin once you saw his face.

♫

Off with your head Dance til you're dead Heads will roll Heads will roll ...

♫

You’d almost tripped over your own two feet, discreetly looking over Samson’s shoulder from left to right to make sure you were seeing things right, and the excitement you felt when they were? Unmatched. And almost as if it’d been planned, the perfect song was playing.

If he’d been giving you or Samson a death-stare, you couldn’t tell, but either way, you loved seeing the scowl on his face. His fingers tightly curled around his beer that if he did it any tighter it’d break, the hard lines on his face prominent to you even this far away. You situated yourself to the side, giving him the perfect view as you brushed your nose against Samson’s, giving him your best doe eyes before melting into his mouth again, making sure that Joel could see the smile on your lips when you broke away and went back for more.

Your body winded up as the song progressed, building up to the drop and heavy riff. The strobe lights blinked quickly enough to cause a stroboscopic effect on everyone’s movement, perceiving them to move slower than they actually were. But when you looked back at Joel, he stayed completely still, his eyes locked on you between the several bodies that separated you from him. He looked so.. menacing.. that it made you shiver and throb. A wicked grin spread on your lips.

♫

Off, off with your head! Dance, dance til you're dead!

♫

Turning around, you pressed into Samson and grinded your backside into him. His hands were off you as quickly they were on you, frowning at the absence, you spun around and saw why: Tommy, again. You’d suspected something bad from the way his gaze fell back and forth between you both and he had a strong hand on his shoulder, but were eased when Samson held up a finger to you and smiled.

As much as you wanted to dance, you also wanted another drink, the empty bottle in your hand now warm from holding it for so long. Sliding shoulders through the floor, you looked between the bar and the bathroom, choosing to make the pitstop before continuing on. Pushing in the door, you were relieved there wasn’t a line, darting into an open stall to squat and do your business. As you finished, another body entered the bathroom in heels that clicked and echoed until they stopped in front of the sink, to what you imagined was a woman checking her makeup. When you got out, you saw their reflection in the mirror– indeed they’d been checking their face, but it’d also been the woman that’d been smitten with Joel. You paid no mind to her other than your initial glance, ignoring her presence and harshly scrubbing the soap on your hands.

“That older Miller’s somethin’, ain’t he?” Your hands froze under the running water. “I only got a taste earlier, but I bet he’s real good in bed.”

The fuck does she mean she got a taste earlier?

Your face must’ve been showing too much of a reaction based on the stupid fucking smile on hers and a snobbish laugh. Not even bothering to dry off your hands with paper towel, you rubbed them against your jeans and threw the door open to leave, storming up to the bar and impatiently tapping your fingers against the wood as you waited.

Fuck her, and fuck Joel. And you know what? Fuck Tommy, too. If he hadn’t brought it to your attention, maybe you wouldn’t have seen it. Then you wouldn’t have downed one too many drinks and legitimately considered sleeping with someone as rebound off hurt feelings, and then maybe, just maybe, you wouldn’t be feeling like all kinds of fucked up right now. You blinked back the burning in your eyes. Don’t cry. Don’t fucking cry over this right now.

The lights returned to their original dimness and calmed down on the strobes, allowing you to search around a bit easier for any of the three people you found yourself with most tonight, but had no luck. Samson and Tommy were out of sight, and you didn’t have the slightest idea of what he pulled Samson away for. As for Joel, he moved from the last spot you remembered him in, or was it over there? You shook your head. It didn’t take much contemplation to decide on going home, you had your fun, but it was over, and you were too far gone to spark it back up in any capacity.

You held your arms tight to your body as you embraced the cool air on the walk to Rancher Street, a fair distance from the Tipsy Bison. The lightness in your head caused you to stumble quite a bit, wishing that either your house was closer or that someone would’ve walked with you. Other times when you drank too much, though it didn’t happen very often, either Tommy or Joel were right there at your side to get you home safe, but you wanted to throw yourself in someone’s yard and pass the fuck out rather than be alone.

Stomping up the porch, you caught yourself on the doorknob last minute as you tripped, fumbling it open and pushing inside. You ungracefully dropped to your ass, tugging at the aglets of your laces in the dark until the knots came undone and kicked your shoes off. So focused on keeping yourself upright, you hadn’t noticed Joel staring at you while leaning against the entryway of the living room with his arms crossed.

“Wasn’t expecting you.” His tone was deep and flat. You scoffed as you got off the floor, face contorting as you mocked him.

“I live here, don’t I?”

“Alone, I meant.” You shook your head as you walked past him, but he grabbed your wrist and held you in place, feeling the heat of his glare on your back. “You gon’ tell me what the hell that was back there?”

You met his eyes over your shoulder. “That was me having a good time. Same as you with that lovely woman.”

“Bullshit.” He shot back. “That wasn’t the same.”

“Oh, please,” you scoffed while yanking your wrist back, turning into the kitchen and bracing yourself along the island, “s’hardly a difference.”

“Really?” He followed you, his frustration apparent in the way his jaw clenched. “‘Cause it sure looked like you were all over him tryin’ to prove somethin’.”

You pointed at yourself, “I don’t have anything to prove to anybody!” you snapped, the words coming out slow but loud, “And if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re jealous.”

His eyes darkened, slowly taking a step towards you, “I am not-”

“Then what the fuck is wrong?” You staggered around the island on the emphasis of the curse, throwing your hands up, “I didn’t do a damn thing, and you’re losing your fucking head!”

“You didn’t– Wow.” A wry laugh came out his mouth. He waved you off, his tone dripping with bitterness. “I ain’t gotta explain myself to you.”

“And neither do I!” You retorted in defiance, your arms grandly gesturing. Your cheeks were hot with anger now, more so than before. “I can do whatever the hell I want, Joel! I don’t need your fucking permission!”

He dragged a hand down his face, turning away from you before whipping around and meeting you at the end of the island, raising his voice at you. “You’re impossible, you know that?”

“And you’re insufferable!” you seethed as you pushed his chest, his hands seizing your wrists, “Acting like you have some fucking claim over me when we’re not even together!”

The silence after your outburst was deafening.

His anger faltered as a flash of pain crossed his face, quickly making your own frustration subside. The hard lines on his face deepened, a slight frown and somberness settling upon it. His grip on your wrists remained firm, but there was a hint of vulnerability in his touch. You wanted to blame the alcohol for making you so mean, but it was really the floodgate of feelings that’d been repressed for far too long.

You huffed, “Joel, I-” he interrupted you by tearing his eyes away from yours and releasing your wrists.

The pang in your chest was unmistakable. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go. This was the part where everything was supposed to come out, to confront the truth of your feelings, but instead he was backing away, retreating and shutting down that conversation before it could even begin. You said his name again, but he simply raised his hand and continued to walk out of the kitchen.

Fuck– No. No, no, no. Your dejection passed and your temper flared up again. No, he doesn’t get to just walk away.

“Joel!” You called out, your voice tinged with frustration and desperation, “Joel, stop!”

But he didn’t. He kept walking, putting more distance between you and fueling your determination. Your heart was pounding as you quickened your pace to catch up with him upstairs, his arm just out of reach before he slammed his door in your face. He didn’t respond when you pounded on the door and demanded for him to come out, your temper mixing between anger and hurt.

“Screw you, Joel! I’m so tired of this– whatever the fuck this is!” Your voice trembled, feeling a punch to the gut when you remembered an obnoxiously accurate point he’d made to you once before. “I-I fucked up– but people do things when they’re scared!”

Your eyes stung, and it hadn’t dawned on you yet that you were potentially jeopardizing everything by blabbering off, but you couldn’t stop now.

“I can’t- Fuck-” a ruined sigh forced itself out your lungs, your thoughts moving too fast for you to comprehend, “If you’re gonna break my heart, do it now, because I can’t-”

You didn’t know when he’d opened the door and stepped out, but you stopped your rambling as soon as you saw him. The silence fell heavy, the only sound being his boots stepping towards you until his chest was nearly touching yours and his breath fanned over your skin. Your eyes darted around his face, from his eyes, to his nose, lips, beard, and back to his eyes again. Just the slightest inch forward and you’d be touching him, the fact making you shiver and fiercely pulse between your thighs.

Your heart ached when you saw the raw emotion in his eyes– an amalgamation of sadness, yearning, lust, and tenderness– all things you grew to be familiar with when you found yourselves running in circles. You couldn’t stand the way his eyes flickered between yours and how his warm hands were slowly reaching up to cup your face. And how you could now feel his chest pressed against yours. And how his lips parted. And that fucking look on his face.

“Joel,” you quavered, “don’t..”

But he knew.

A soft, broken breath escaped you as it was all suddenly becoming too real, reaching the point of no return.

“Don’t look at me like that unless you mean it.”

His lips crashed into yours.

[robiinurheart33]

Thinking of army dreamers by Kate bush and soap’s family hearing about his death - especially his mom.

I don’t really know how this death announcement would go, but I think it’s either by call or in person. For the sake of this post, imagine it’s in person. As much as I’d like for ghost to be there to maximise the angst potential, I hate mischaracterisation and I really think he wouldn’t be there.

I can’t imagine anyone other than price who would announce the news. He was soap’s captain after all, and he would feel the most responsible for him. ( esp because he could have prevented his death if only he let soap kill makarov right then and there but we’re getting off track-)

I know most people like to think soap has a good family who he loves, but going by the lore from his backstory I feel like he would have problems at least with some parts of his family due to him running off to the army at such a young age. I like to headcanon that he has a bunch of problems with his dad; it’s like they weren’t related at all, if bit by most of his features being a carbon copy on soap’s face. (He hates it with his entire being.) but he gets along just fine with the rest of his family. He loves his ma, no matter how much he can’t understand why she got married to him, and has a loving but slightly strained relationship with his sisters (2). They never know what to do with soaps explosive personality, how to calm him down, how to prevent the arguments from getting worse. His father passed a few years after soap signed up for SAS, dying from alcohol poisoning and lung cancer as a cherry on top. Soap wasn’t there to wish him goodbye.

When the knock happened on the door, his Ma was listening to the radio, almost missed the knock, if not for it knocking again, sharper, harder. Elaine MacTavish liked to pride herself on knowing her children more than they knew themselves. So when she awoke a few days ago, covered in a cold nervous sweat and a tightening in her chest, her mind pricking ands searching for what could possibly be wrong. She had phoned her kids right away, knowing she wouldn’t come in touch with her John-boy, he had told her he might be uncontactable foe a few days, he had sounded tired, but excited. “Finally puttin’ tha sick bastard to hell, this time Ma I swear.” He sounded so resolute, her precious boy. As she dried her hands on a towel, uneasiness feeling from a few days ago still not settled, the from door clicked open with a slight squeak from old age and rust, seeing her boy’s captain standing there like a stone figure. Elaine knows army boys were rough, her son’s task force even rougher. she had once thought that with pride swelling in her chest which now deflated and left a pit in her stomach as the captain of that exact Taskforce seemed like a sad puppy with his tail between his legs.

Elaine knew how hard her son had become; she had been there since his soft chubs melted into awkward, lanky limbs that had eventually hardened into sharp edges, 5 o’clock shadows, more and more scars littering her baby boy. It had been too much, it was almost too much. But every time he had come home with a blinding smile, the mischievous twinkle in his eye every time he replies with “that’s confidential.” to his family’s curious questions, the flush if excitement on his face when he talks about all the amazing places and people he’s met, it made all her worries melt away. It had made it worth it. But one part of her thought that he was somehow invincible, he was going to be honourably discharged with numerous glittering medals and a beautiful wife at his elbow (lmao) and live a long and happy life. She supposes that if she considered anything else, she wouldn’t know how to bear with the pure agonising despair that would wreck her already frail body. John’s confidence was contagious, the way she had so blindingly believed that her son was invincible. She doesn’t believe that anymore.

[gizkasparadise]

Should I watch lost you forever? Is the ending satisfying?? Also, can you recommend some wuxia dramas with warrior FLs?

lost you forever is currently my top cdrama for the year! some highlights:

interesting and nuanced female lead

a lil something for everyone as far as shipping goes

great character dynamics and development

great set design, esp if you're kind of burned out on all the CGI-palooza of a lot of xianxia dramas

awesome ost

the political plot is interesting and actually character-driven

refreshing take in that the male lead is not necessarily who the female lead ends up with

surprisingly queer in some areas?

confession: im holding off on watching the last 5 eps of s1 until s2 comes out, because a ship breaks up and there's a lot of angst with it and im not strong enough to watch it without being able to immediately proceed to the Fix-It stage :'D

some wuxia dramas with warrior FLs (didn't include any modern-day dramas)

love and redemption!!! it doesn't seem that way at first, but TRUST. xianxia not wuxia, though, if that's a dealbreaker

the legends (xianxia-ish but not as much as some of the others). bonus points for this one having a FL on the demon side!

havent seen it yet, but legend of fei i believe operates on this premise

admittedly, i did not like this drama as a whole much but who rules the world has a cool female lead! (iirc the second FL also is a warrior and they are besties)

straight-up didnt like this one, but and the winner is love has a FL as the heir apparent to her sect. my memory is indicating that she's more a warrior-on-paper though

they're oldies at this point, but if you're cool with c-movies these are must-watches for me: wing chun (w/michelle yeoh and donnie yen), house of flying daggers, hero

if you're willing to branch out into kdrama...

DEFINITELY check out empress ki. it's mostly set in the yuan empire, so it has some cdrama vibes to it

gu family book. fantasy elements, but the FL is a warrior

hotel del luna features an immortal FL who was a warrior/thief/bandit during the goryeo era

mr sunshine's FL is a gunman/sniper, and second FL is adept at fencing

river where the moon rises unfortunately had some production issues due to real-life scandals, but it's still a pretty solid drama imo with an action-girl FL

[if-loki-was-a-fox]

Here's some Exile AU Peer Pressure Duo rambling bc I haven't said any of this on Tumblr yet — CW for references to abuse, manipulation, trauma, and general unhealthy relationship and Exile Arc stuff

(as always, thank you to @proudfreakmetarusonniku for helping me come up with this AU and a lot of this stuff specifically)

So when exile!Dream discovers exile!Tommy's attempt to hide stuff from him and blows up Logstedshire, he also chops of exile!Ranboo's tail to make the punishment even greater.

e!Tommy, finally realizing that e!Dream isn't their friend (something e!Ranboo still doesn't realize btw) and being unable to properly take care of e!Ranboo's injuries, tells e!Ranboo to run and find e!Techno's cabin, hoping that e!Techno will take care of e!Ranboo and e!Dream won't care enough about losing only on of them to go after e!Ranboo.

So e!Ranboo is badly injured and just generally not doing great after ages in exile, losing their tail, and then running through the tundra in old tattered cloths, so after they pass out on e!Techno's porch they're unconscious/barley conscious for days while e!Techno (and probably e!Phil too) nurse them back to health.

e!Ranboo has no real memories of L'Manburg and hasn't for a while at this point, and by the time they recover from their injuries they don't remember a whole lot about Exile either (esp not with how traumatic the whole thing was). They do however, still have a lot of conditioning left over and a very messed up view on what friendship looks like thanks to what e!Dream taught them. (e!Ranboo absolutely starts trying to figure out what e!Techno wants and likes and doing that and only that to avoid punishment as soon as they wake up, given that they think that's just how relationships work)

So in canon DSMP c!Ranboo has a tendency to use gifts as their main friendship gesture (see, giving c!Timmy alliums, giving c!EmDuo gifts their first or second day in the tundra, and giving c!Techno the ax). This is exacerbated with exile!Ranboo.

For as long as e!Ranboo can remember, one of his two best friends would come by every couple days and take all the stuff he made in the meantime. As such, e!Ranboo thinks they don't deserve to own things and that it's a normal give up all their stuff to e!Techno, the actual owner of all their things. e!Ranboo basically repeats the "put your items in the hole" by giving e!Techno their stuff frequently and getting anxious when they have stuff for too long, something e!Techno doesn't initially pick up on and recognize as abnormal or a trauma thing (he's just overwhelmed by the excessive "affection" and unsure how to emotionally process it).

(One day, e!Techno makes a comment on this behavior and e!Ranboo reacts badly thinking they did something wrong, which is when e!Techno finally realizes that this is Not Normal.)

Also, an important context on e!Techno's part: e!Techno is initially very oblivious to e!Ranboo's trauma, but even as he starts to slowly uncover stuff about e!Ranboo's trauma and abuse, he assumes it comes from L'Manburg, given that L'Manburg is, in his eyes, the Corrupt Evil Government that exiled e!Ranboo and e!Tommy (innocent kids) and tried to execute e!Techno in front of e!Philza. On top of that, what little e!Ranboo does remember of Exile is that e!Dream was his friend, so why would e!Techno ever even consider that e!Dream abused them?

(anyways, if you couldn't tell already, this is very much an Angst/Horror type of AU. e!Techno here is very well set up to side fully with e!Dream against L'Manburg and generally be easily manipulated by him on an ongoing basis. There's a non-zero chance this AU ends with e!Dream getting his really messed up Big Happy Family that he so wants.)

[m1ckeyb3rry]

I HAD A FEELING IT WAS THE DREAM

oh.

Ok jk LMAOO yk i have much more to say but BROTJRHSIZ THE ANGST STOPP NO WERE LEAVING KARASU ALONE??? Yukimiya the ultimate OPP here DHDVSHSHS well!! I guess at least they’re both dead!! Insert that one gif of that emoji reaching its hands up screaming and it like gets thanos snapped dissolves away anyways all of these longer series you have in the works are all bangers I can’t wait to read them all

LMAO “(a loser)” REAL wait tullieita does sound better just means Tullias gotta be first in the relationship LMAOO but FR gotta keep the og four familial SHSHS PSLSL I can imagine people in the fandom who would say that but had that actually happened???? That’s actually so crazy like bro what it’s not that deep just respect whatever people wanna ship doesn’t mean you gotta agree…..ok because I was lowk feeling the tullireo vibes but yeah to be safe maybe tullisagi is the move LOL (back to the origins!!) esp now that you said Isagis gonna be more relevant I think that’ll be good

Oliver aikus guide to getting girls just being there is so funny LMAOAOA it stands out so much because ifs lengthier than all the other ones too it’s hilarious I’m loving the duality though

LMAOAAO I’m gonna be waiting for the jaw dropping final wc reveal it’ll be orv on a mini scale at least!! but AHAH OP NAGIY/N KIDS imagine these kids just running around steamrolling every trainer in sight!!

Wait also unrelated BUT idk if I’m getting too into this but thoughts on different types of pokeballs and if anyone would use any…I know I exclusively used ultra balls for the higher catch rate and then would kinda color coordinate for pokemon I particularly liked (I loved the dive ball aesthetic….)

LFMAOAOAO Karasu traumatized too much “I’m not doing anything until you’re buried in your grave”

WAIT IMAGINE ZANTETSU IN POKEMON AU LMAOOOO is there a train pokemon /j i bet he’d try to collect smart pokemon and end up bossed around by them OR like otoya gets scammed and ends up with not as cool looking ones HAHA

But FR as long as he doesn’t completely drop some plot lines like gege I’ll be happy honestly I’m just here to see my favs in action tbh

LAMAOAOA I love aiku slandering them it’s so funny he’s gonna be so fed up with all these lovesick losers I bet he’s like “bro just hurry up and rizz her up already”

HSHSHA EGO FIC but FR that panel really did noa justice

- Karasu anon

LMAOOO YES IT WAS THE DREAM!!! you know i wouldn’t slide smth so specific in there for 0 reason 😏🤫

JFKDJDJS I TOLD YOU YUKI IS A VILLAIN he’s like ACTUALLY evil in hollyhock (although in his defense literally no one else is much better) for real though i think the only series where gets justice is pursuit and the oaeu (because in fwtkac karasu stays slandering him, in hollyhock he’s a villain, and he like is completely irrelevant to peregrine to the point that i don’t even think he’ll be mentioned in it) HAHA agreed at least they are together in the afterlife!! it’s kind of emo when you think about it though like otoya was the only one to genuinely ever love reader (it’s also revealed that anri, who’s the only servant that’s nice to reader, is the one who sold the hiiragis out to the yukimiyas/otoya [that’s who eita is referencing when he’s all like “you can’t trust everyone around you isn’t that sad]) and that’s why his death/“betrayal” in particular expedited her spiral sm…like she was already losing it beforehand + his betrayal would be bad for business but she genuinely could not bear the thought of him not “belonging” to her (which in hollyhock-reader-ese means him not loving her) anymore truly such a tragic pairing…tbh does otoya even deserve such a magnificent plot???? NO 😭😩 but no one else fits it as well as he does at the same time

HAHA tullia on top fr 🤩 i agree i think reader and co as a little family unit is so fun plus then we can keep that karasu + otoya dadfailures agenda going because i just think the thought of them trying to mentor reader and tullia meanwhile those two are just like 😐😬 is SO FUNNY especially because one of the earlier arcs is the arc with yukimiya and ofc both girls are super eager to learn from HIM so karasu and otoya are just like damn what does he have that we don’t…(the answer is a full and developed team, an actual relationship with chris prince NOT based on his online subscriptions, several contest ribbons and championships, and model rizz [his nickname is the “king of kalos” for a reason hehe])

okay so me personally i have never actually gotten comments like that but i see them everywhere (i saw a post saying it’s homophobic to write shidou with a female reader because he’s clearly gay i was like oh…interesting take…) so i’m super paranoid KFJFJD my blog has remained fairly unproblematic somehow which is crazy given how many followers i have!! and i’d like to maintain that…but at the same time i think if i write it well people might not be too mad?? because i can lowkey really see the tullireo vision too (idk if you’ve seen those tik toks where it’s like “working hard so my future wife can own a bookshop that loses money” but that’s soooo tullireo to me like “working hard so my future wife can be a pokémon breeder who gets overly attached to her eggs and refuses to sell them” LMAOO) their teams also kinda give off the same vibes if that makes sense (hold on i’ll copy paste for reference since both of them haven’t been super relevant in our convos so idek their teams off of the top of my head)

tullia: infernape [starter], lilligant, vivillon, lanturn, granbull, hitmonchan

reo: gallade [starter], cinccino, mawile, persian, flygon, florges

DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN like their pokémon just fit really well together…does this mean their vibes are also adjacent…wait actually we know chigiri and tullia are gossip buddies + chigiri and reo are probably closer than in this au than in canon because half of the time nagi’s off getting involved in reader’s bs so they kind of HAVE to be friends + otoya and tullia have a menacing sibling vibe to them…imagine chigiri and otoya team up and they’re like “are you thinking what i’m thinking” so they’re just trying to set up tullireo (chigiri wingman goat he’s putting aiku to shame atm…tullireo AND nagiy/n give my man a break ‼️) and maybe THAT’S why otoya is acting off when tullia goes on a date with loki?? then when reader and karasu are like “bro are you good” he’s just like no i’m HEARTBROKEN and for a solid few chapters reader and karasu just think otoya likes tullia but is too shy to say smth…meanwhile he’s just emo because his otp just got ruined (it was only a temporary setback though TRUST tullia will lock in and get that bag when needed/chigiri will lock in and force them together before he loses more hair and brain cells thinking abt them)

tbh isagi does pull up a lot but he’s kinda weird about it?? like even though he’s supposed to be nagi’s age (and therefore reader’s) i think i HAVE to make him older because the role he plays just has that mentor-type energy…because he’s an e4 candidate he knows a lot more than the others so he always comes, drops some key info, and then leaves to coordinate w the other league members so while tullisagi could work i’m actually thinking abt it more and idk if that’s the vibe isagi is giving off rn 🤔 i’m not sure if i’m explaining his role well HAHAHA…like examples of the times he appears: first appearance when he mentions he knows barou, second (i think??) appearance when he rescues tabitullieita from team x while reader’s battling ego and explains more about how barou is the head (or so they believe), fourth appearance when he + reader and co + manshine trio discover the government’s involvement with team x and he flies off to inform his superiors (aka noel noa and the rest of the masters), fifth appearance when he gives reader the results of barou’s autopsy and reassures her that she did not kill him, and then final appearance when he’s there w the rest of the e4 candidates during reader’s battle against mr mikage/her exposing the government SO like he’s def there and relevant and vital but a) six appearances in 24 arcs is not great and b) he’s just giving gandalf energy LMAOOO IDK LOWKEY YOU’VE CONVERTED ME TO TULLIREOISM 😭😭😭

okay but imagine you’re like that fuck ass kid bug catcher joey or whatever and you see this sleepy looking fluffy white haired little girl (another headcanon i have is that reader’s genes did NOT fight whatsoever…like continuing w the theme they have an older son and a younger daughter and the son is a carbon copy of BAROU while the daughter is a mini female nagi but neither resembles reader herself at all 😭) with only one pokéball just wandering around and you’re like BAZINGA easy cash so you challenge her to a battle and she just sends out an AEGISLASH?? and when you look closer it’s not just any aegislash, it’s the one that fought on y/n “the reluctant champion” l/n’s team 😩 you’re fr cooked atp like yeah aegislash is no galvantula but it carries a FAIR share of battles once it finally joins the team 😰

wait speaking of the nagiy/n kids imagine their daughter is like a classic little kid and asks reader how she and nagi met and reader’s like uhhhh well my houndoom bullied his arcanine, we became rivals, we saved each other from an evil team that was headed by your uncle’s corpse, then we got isekai’d for a moment??? by aegislash actually…then some other stuff happened blah blah blah and their daughter is just standing there like damn me and who 😓⁉️

OOH POKÉBALLS well to start off with i know for a FACT that every single one of reo’s pokémon are in luxury balls only the best for reo “young prince” mikage!! reader’s gyarados is probably in a lure ball because she got it from a fisherman!! and those are more effective on pokémon caught while fishing…also her houndoom was a gift from barou so i can lowkey see it being in a premier ball because he wanted to splurge or smth yk 🤔 i think tullia’s lilligant is probably in a love ball idk why the vibes are just there ☝🏻 nagi’s snorlax could be in a heavy ball because the conditions are right (maybe reo had one lying around and gave it to him??) and all of karasu’s birds are in quick balls because yayoi would just buy them in bulk and throw them at pokémon before battling them and whichever ones stuck were the ones she took back to evaluate (i personally love quick balls i always give them a shot on the first turn of an encounter because they have a 5x boost on the first turn!! and if they don’t work i just get to battling but it never hurts to try) also lowkey nagi’s reuniclus in a dusk ball would be fire for the green spooky aesthetic 🤩

PLSSS i feel like zantetsu would almost be the reverse otoya because otoya wants to go for looks and ends up with a negative aura team in terms of aesthetics but they’re all super powerful meanwhile zantetsu chooses whichever pokémon look super strong but they end up being rlly weak?! like abomasnow HAHAHA omg that’s def his signature pokémon because it’s super big and tough and rare (it’s super hyped up in the anime too??) but then one day he encounters manshine trio and nagi’s arcanine accidentally sneezes an ember around the abomasnow and it’s GONE LMAOO yk reo’s never letting him live that down either

i WOULD say aiku deserves damage pay but tbh this is his karma he deserves it (plus he’ll get a girl of his own at the end of things) i think it’s funny too that with sae and barou he’s actively pushing them to get with reader versus with tabieitaken he’s like offering “gentle” guiding advice (aka how to be a player for reader with otoya and how to be a homewrecker for karasu) and then with reo and nagi bro is actively plotting on their girls??? like his involvement with reo is literally him being like “let me rizz up your future wife” and reo’s like erm wait actually no…meanwhile the entire nagi plot is so dumb it’s funny 😭 lowkey reader in the nagi version is my hero simply because that one is going to be SO humbling for aiku 😩 a girl choosing the guy he brought specifically to make himself look better i know aiku is FUMING

YKW THE EGO FIC COOKED TOO reader and noa lowkey were stealing the show so i had to stop though they were really really cute basically it was dependent on that one line about noa being from the slums?? and in the fic reader was just left on his doorstep when they were both kids so he took her in because he had no one else to love so he was like “ok i’ll love her” FJSKJDSJ anyways…

vomiting ngl…the way i just never even got to writing ego because i became so fascinated by the reader and noa dynamic before giving up entirely HSHSJJA anyways the thing about the lights and the homework is they can’t afford electricity so once it’s dark reader can’t do her homework anymore!! and their roof was leaking so it ruined her homework while she did it so she wasn’t able to finish which is why the extent of noa’s aspirations are “big house with electricity” 😭 and the grocery store thing is because he works basically all day loading and unloading inventory at a store so he’s always exhausted and hates his work BUT even though his shift starts super early in the morning he still got up even earlier to do reader’s hw for her 😓 LMAOOO meanwhile ego’s in japan doing who knows what 😩 anyways agreed they completely yassified noel noa i was AWED!!

OKAY ONE MORE THING

wake up babe pursuit graphic just dropped ‼️ it’s much much simpler than usual but for the au i really like it it just fits so well imo (plus houndoom!!)

[jackienautism]

fe3h update! well i just finished my first playthrough and i am just sitting here.... the second to last battle was SO hard for me and it was definitely made harder by the fact that i like. played it weird. bc i thought if i just completely avoided her i wouldn't have to kill mercedes so i took all my units on a really weird path and then once i finally killed everyone else turns out. i still had to kill her.

i managed to get to a support between byleth and all of the eagles except linhardt (still mad about that.... i wanted to get the whole set </3), as well as marianne, sylvain, ingrid, and felix (who yeah, i did end up recruiting).

as for my ranking of the eagles... it's really tough to pick! it's closer to tiers for me, bc some of these characters are so close to each other in my ranking. i'd probably go... dorothea, caspar, bernie/hubie/edie, petra, ferdie, linhardt. dorothea and caspar are probably my absolute favorites now. and because of that, i think they're gonna be the eagles i recruit on my VW playthrough (and maybe. all subsequent playthroughs too LMAO) . from the lions, i think i'm gonna take sylvain again bc he's easy to get and he grew on me, as well as mercedes. mighttt also recruit annette and maybe ashe? i barely interacted with them the first time around but i hear ashe is interesting in VW and annette has supports with claude, but i'm also trying to limit myself here lmao. i'm probably not gonna try to recruit both of them, if i even recruit one.

anyway! i'm genuinely sooo excited for claude.... also since i enjoyed marianne so much, i'm excited for her to be like.. more relevant LMAO.

i'm also gonna look into how to like... successfully build my guys this time around because i have a feeling i was NOTTT doing it well at all. which like... i don't need to have the best builds in the world or anything, as long as i'm having fun i don't need to be doing things "right", but like. i think i could maybe be having a bit more fun if i. knew what i was doing lol.

thanks for letting me give you these updates lol! i am having sooo much fun.

HIII OHOHO HAPPY TO HEAR YOUVE FINISHED YOUR FIRST RUN :D AND THAT YOU REALLY ENJOYED IT.... i lowkey forget the second to last battle ebut i assume it was the one w/ dimitri right? or was it the silver maiden one w/ rodrigue? forgive me its been a bit since ive played crimson flower dfgnfg but anyhow! SORRY THAT YOUR DIVERSION MADE THE BATTLE DIFFICULT FOR YOU....AND THAT YOU STILL HAD TO KILL MERCEDES ANYWAY ):

and damn </3 atleast you got thr A supports between the rest of the black eagles! i suppose theres always next route or next CF route that you can get linhardt's... i could tell you the gist of it if you want but im sure youd rather get it yourself. speaking of A supports, which endings did you get :o? like between the other characters i mean?

good tier list<3333 dorothea at the top as she shoudl be. and edie and hubie togehter as they SJOULD be. dorothea snd caspar as your faves are such good choices... quite the duo. and them being the eagles you recruit in your other routes is very respectable as well.. still cant believe that youre willign to Not recruit everyone but i totally understand the mindset as well. angst is good. but it also hurts. MERCEDES..... ooohhh i love her oh so much. she would def be a good choice. good luck limiting yourself btw dfgkdnfg annette and ashe are very good very goodd. im not particularly attached to them as ive talked abt before but theyre both very sweet characters. and have a lot of substance to them. plus their family situations and whatnot are very sad. so yeah! recruiting any of the blue lions to learn more abt them would be a good thing to do! esp if you didnt interact w/ them much in CF

YESSS CLAUDES ROUTE WAS VEYR GOOD.... AND I LOVE HIMS O MUCH ANDHIS RELATIONSHIP W/ BYLETH.... and yessss marianne ): my girl.... i will say that something that happens in verdant wind def shouldve been saved for edie's route but :/ soon enough you'll see what i mean. hope you enjoy verdant wind!!!!

and kfdngdkfg yeah i feel that. its quite overwhelming at times isnt it? as logn as youre having fun though thats all that matter sbut i totally understand wanting to like know what youre doing. a few videos and reading up on classes should help! what were your guys' final classes if you don't mind me asking? if you think youd habe more fun if you knew what you were doing, then id def go for it! good luck w/ everything!

and omg of course!!!! thank YOU for being so kind to keep me updated and whatnot! i always enjoy reading what you have to say and how you've been doing in game and otherwise :] hope you have a good day / night!!!!

[mikasuxxx]

Random MW2 Headcanons

TW: Heavy angst, mentions of abuse, mentions of insecurities possibly?

This was very long but it was worth it!!!

Soap

If and whever he does settle down and gets married, he's definitely wearing a kilt at his wedding. And he's probably gonna have the wedding in the countryside of Scotland

He has a BIG family. Like half the people in his hometown are related to him

He got baby fever from being around his baby nieces and nephews, and his friends' kids too

His mother is the absolute sweetest, his father is kinda grumpy (he just needs to warm up to you

Neither of them speak english, they speak with a heavy scot accent. But they genuinely care about you as their son's spouse

He's terrible at playing the bagpipe

He's a heavy sleeper. Like he hibernates and sometimes rolls over on top of you crushing you with his weight. Which would be fine in winter but in the summer? good luck cause he aint moving for another 4 hours

It gets worse when he becomes a dad. he suddenly snores in his sleep and sneezes loud asf

he loves orange cake and angel food. idk he just seems like he'd like it

He likes metal music, esp bands like System of a Down

In the very early 2000s, when Soap was in college, there were students walking around campus with a camera interviewing students about what they want to do after college for a class project. Around the middle beginning of the video you can see young Soap, pre-mohawk, being interviewed and speaking in fluent scottish.

He said something along the lines of wanting to become a famous soccer player and winning the world cup, and his backup plan would be culinary school

The video is still out there somewhere, low quality, and was originally posted on the college website. However, the college he used to go to shut down, the website, along with the video were also gone with it.

But the website was up for a good amount of years before the school shut down, and a few people recall seeing the video before ìt shut down. Meaning there was a window of time where it could have been archived.

Nobody knows where though. People tried to look for it, for reasons not related to soap, creating a very niche community of people looking for a lost interview video tape that is decades old

Meaning that the video of young college student soap being interviewed is considered lost media. And will remain that way until someone can find it somehow

Anyways, he has long forgotten about the video, so he's very oblivious to the fact that there are people out there looking for a video ages old that includes him

He later ended up dropping out of college and joining the military after realizing he has more brawn than brain

He's still sad that his dreams never came to fruition. Dont get him wrong, he loves his co-workers and he prefers his current job over an office job any day, but he wishes he went through with his dreams

He felt like he wasnt smart enough for anything that involved school

his grades in high school really werent the best, just barely enough to get him to graduate

His sibilings were (according to him) more accomplished, one of them being an accountant, another one being a successful lawyer, the other becoming a short story writer.

He eventually learned to accept it within himself, and he knows that the abilities he was born with are normal things to have and are still very useful, and not being booksmart doesnt necessarily make him of any less value

He's still a very important part of the 142 task force, and his co-workers are very grateful to have him on the team. (even Ghost himself said it)

Ghost

He canonically has a nephew and a sister in law, both of which hes never met

He just left his home behind and went to join the military to escape the torment and abuse of his father and brother

The only reason he even know about the existence of his SIL and nephew is through letters that his mother used to send him after he left.

His mother was the only one who ever really cared for him

In fact, he felt so guilty for leaving her behind to deal with the abuse of his dad and his brother. She would always state in her letters how happy she is that he got out

Whenever his dad would go into one of his raging fits she would always try to stop him, but to no avail

Simon was still grateful for her effort. He knew it wasnt her fault

She would mention how his nephew looks so much like him, especially when he was baby.

It made him think about what could've been. Would the kid even want to meet him, let alone want someone like himself as an uncle?

No. is what he always said to himself whenever that question came up in his mind.

Eventually his brother would move away and completely cut contact with his mom, preventing her from seeing her grandson.

She never saw them again after that

One day, he would receive a letter from his mother informing him that his dad finally passed away.

He remembers it vividly, how in that moment he felt nothing but rage. How time suddenly seemed to stop in its tracks, how he wanted nothing but to beat something or someone into a pulp.

He's not angry because he died

The fucker died in his sleep

Way too peaceful for a piece of shit like him. He's angry because the man who made him and his mother suffer for years got to go out the easy way when he should have been suffering in his final moments

it was just unfair

His mom would also send cards on holidays or his birthday

But the letters along with the cards would be sent less and less often, until eventually they stop completely

He finds out later that his mother had died due to some terminal illness.

He should have seen it coming. in the last letter she had sent, she kept stating how much she loves him and how much she wants to see him.

It was her saying goodbye, and he didnt even realize it

She never mentioned it in any of the letters because she didnt want him to worry about her

He was so lost and devastated. No tears would come out when he tried to cry

He'd become more violent and aggressive during combat on missions as a form of release

People around him were concerned, but none bothered to talk to him. He was too intimidating. Even if he wasnt he wouldn't open up to anyone about such a sensitive topic

He still misses his mom dearly every day. He mourns her every year on mother's day and her birthday

As a (much healtheir) way to cope, he'd write his feelings down and details about his day in the form of letters to his mom. Letters that will never be sent

He ended up tracking down where her gravesite was, and went to visit her.

He stayed there for a while. Just...standing at her gravestone, unable to say anything

He contemplated tracking down his brother and beating the living shit out of him since hes much stronger now. He decided it wasnt worth it and went back to base

He'd visit his mom's grave and leave flowers, sometimes He'd clean her gravestone if he finds that its dirty

At some point he just started talking to her. He found it relaxing

Alejandro

He has a little sister who is in college studying biomedical science!

His other sister is studying oncology, shes hoping to be able to discover and research more about rare cancers

His younger brother swears up and down he's gonna be a famous athlete one day

This man absolutely loves his mother and would die for her, same thing with his sibilings

He vists them as often as he can, bringing his sibilings their favorite snacks and a gift for his mom, every single time

He has vivid memories of his childhood with his sibilings

He clearly remembers walking to the store when he was little, holding his mom's hand the whole time while looking around

At the time it used to be a routine that she would buy him his favorite candy on the way out when she's done buying groceries, and she would do the same for his sibilings

Him and his younger sister (the 2nd oldest, the one who's studying oncology. Their other younger sister was always excluded because she was too young they didnt wanna babysit while they were out with their friends lol) were trouble makers

During the summers they would somehow convince their mom (after a lot of begging, ofc) to let them go out to the small convenience store by themselves to buy snacks

They would go on their bikes, which should take less time to get to there since its right new their house, but they just kept goofing around

Alejandro always ends up buying everything other than snacks

His sister is always like "Okay but if you get hungry dont expect me to share my snacks with you"

He steals them from her anways lmaooo

At the store Alejandro would buy more useless but weird toys from the front register, like sticky hands, those yo-yos with the roll of gum in em, tiny toy soldiers, and most importantly, firecrackers

Alejandro as a kid had a very weird obsession with firecrackers

Whenever he played with the neighborhood kids he'd bring the box of firecrackers with him, in the front pocket of his shorts (he will never again make the mistake of leaving them in his back pocket or the basket on his bike as they were always missing when it was time to go back home)

He'd try to get his friends to come out of their house to go play outside by throwing firecrackers outside their house

big mistake because one of them had a big ass dog chained near the backyard and he started barking loud as hell and almost jumped him.

One summer, during a dry heat, Alejandro and his sister were hanging about outside, and he was throwing firecrackers at random directions out of boredom. One of them landed on someone's dry lawn and it popped, started smoking, and eventually started a fire on their lawn

Alejandro and his sister never booked it home so fast in their lives. their legs were cramping from going so fast on their bikes

As a little kid, he was put in church choir, maybe also music lessons?

At their house, theres a framed picture of little Alejandro, around 5 or 6 years old, standing in the living room dressed up in a suit that was slightly too big for him with a big ass bowtie, as he was about to go and sing in church

Also near that photo, is an ofrenda for their father, with candles put around it which were lit occasionally by their mother

Every Dia de los Muertos they will put their late father's favorite foods on it, along with sugar skulls, tamales, pan de muerto, and some flowers.

All food that is put on his ofrenda is made by their mother from scratch with the help of the kids, every single year year.

Even to this day, even when they're adults, they all chip in to help out their mom make the food. It brings them closer together as a family

When Alejandro was a teen, he saved up some money to go buy a cassette player (im really not sure how old he is nor do i know what else besides cassette players and ipods they used to play music so bare with me for a sec) and his mom made him share it with his sibilings since they didnt have enough money to buy one for everyone

he was pretty stingy about sharing it. was absolutely pissed when his youngest sister ended up losing it

he always loved exploring random abandoned places, like abandoned asylums and whatnot, especially with his friends

He ended up seeing some spooky shit that terrified him from going back for a while

eventually his mom found out, and her absolutely HATING anything to do with spirits and ghosts, she forbid him from exploring abandoneded places. Also because shes obviously concerned for his safety

Gaz

He had a pretty good childhood on the opposite side of England that ghost used to live in

He was very out going in primary school, had lots of friends

he lost a lot of them by the time he entered middle school and high school though

He has a younger brother whom he always used to destroy at video games. like every single time he'd beat his ass in a 1v1

He'd sometimes eat his leftovers just cause

They rough house and wrestle a lot, especially when they were younger. when they got older they eventually evolved to just doing basic arm wrestling lmaoo

When Kyle was younger, when his mom was away at work his dad used to take him out to the coffee shop and he'd always, always get a juice or chocolate milk drink

Sometimes they'd go to the park and he'd take his soccer ball with him, and they'd just play soccer in the grass

Or sometimes they'd go get ice cream

When his brother was born, they did the same thing, but him also being pretty young at the time, was jealous thinking that his dad's attention was being stolen from him by a baby

Little kyle ended up absolutely loving his baby brother and would adamantly refuse to go anywhere without him

"I told you they'd get along, it was just a matter of time" Said his mom one day to his dad, while they were in the car, driving home from a restaurant. him and his younger brother were in the back, sitting their booster seats fast asleep.

"I guess you were right then. How do you do that?" replied the dad with a smile, looking over at his wife sitting next to him. "i know them like the back of my hand" she said, smiling back, looking at her sons through the rear view mirror sleeping soundly in the back

Kyle and his little brother used to be best friends, like there was a time where they became inseparable

As they grew older, as kyle became a young adult and his brother became a teen, they started growing apart

Eventually Kyle went into the military, despite protests from his parents, who were deathly afraid of something happening to him during service

He still kept in touch with them, he would occasionally set up a skype video call and they'd all talk for hours about everything

Him and his brother would play online multiplayer games together from time to time.

Their relationship isnt what it used to be, but its still there. Neither of them seems to want to address it

At some point in high school, Kyle had his first love

He loved her more than anything, she made him feel so happy and loved, and it felt like his heart was about to explode with hoe much love he harbored for her

But, he would also end up experiencing his first hearbreak, and him having no prior experience with relationships, it broke him

He spiraled into a deep depression. He thought he had done everything he could to please her and make her happy, and in the end it still wasnt enough

He wasted so many hours and days of his life wondering why, what he could have done wrong to make her leave him

He eventually learned it was a waste of time trying to find the reason why, and just accepted it as a part of life, and moved on

He still hopes that deep down that she would come back and they could have a second chance at a relationship, but in the meanwhile he's trying to focus on himself

His relationship with his family, his co-workers, working on himself, whether it was physically or mentally.

He hopes one day he will find the right person for him, someone who sees him and efforts as enough. Someone who can appreciate him and whom he can appreciate back

On another note, he always wanted to go to college to study astronomy or astrophysics, or something along those lines. He always had an avid love and fascination for space

Unfortunately, he's more english and history smart, rather than math and science smart

He's good at english and history, but he finds those subjects boring and wishes he was really good at math and science.

[btwxsixesandsevens]

How many works do you have on Ao3? 49

What’s your total Ao3 word count? 397,551. Feels like 500k.

What fandoms do you write for? Marvel: Falcon & The Winter Soldier (Sarah/Bucky) & Black Panther (Dora Milaje); Star Wars -- so many f/f rarepairs, including an OC pair; a single lonely Dragon Age Inquisition fic.

What are your top five fics by kudos? These are all Sarah/Bucky: Jazz Standards, Vol 1; Don't Get Around Much Anymore; Jazz Standards, Vol 2; Jazz Standards, Vol 3; Cheek to Cheek. Sadly none of my f/f will show in this list for a while!

Do you respond to comments? I reply to each reader at least once per chapter. I write a lot of multi chapter fic, so sometimes I don't comment on EVERY comment chapter after chapter, but I do try. I love talking to my readers about the random things I come up with.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I don't do angst endings. Every one of my fics has a happy ending. Life is rough. My fics aren't.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Happiest? Well, they're all happy…the one that makes me the most happy right now is the ending to Sanctuary is a Taste in the Mouth, my current Fennec Shand/Garsa Fwip fic. But that's just because I've read it and you all haven't yet, so the anticipation is sweet.

Do you get hate on fics? I've gotten a few argumentative comments, but never anything I'd categorize as hate. I keep trying.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? YOU BET I DO! I write talky, feely, sex, often with a kinky, dom/sub vibe. I write lots of it and I'm told I'm good at it.

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? No. I don't even read them. I can't get them to make sense in my head.

Have you ever had a fic translated? No, maybe one day!

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes, I've written one for my SarahBucky ship with @tllgrrl -- Bucky, Cass, and the King of Mardi Gras. It is fun and fluffy and mostly from teh point of view of a 13 year old boy, which was wild. I would love to team up on a SW wlw fic one day, with the right buddy.

What’s your all-time favorite ship? I'm taking the fifth. All the ships I write for I love. They all have the same dynamic -- one person with an obvious trauma finds another person with a hidden trauma and they heal together. Oh, and they fuck.

What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Jazz Standards, Vol 3, sadly. It is all set up for the proposal and the wedding, but I've psyched myself out of every being able to write something that will live up to the hype I have in my head. so it…sits.

What are your writing strengths? Mature, emotional sex scenes. Perfect one line comments in dialog that make you stop and think. Worldbuilding.

What are your writing weaknesses? I don't write men well, esp white men, so I tend not to do it. I don't write groups well, like whole family dynamics. Many of fics have literally 2 characters -- the 2 people in the ship.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Always. Every chance I get. Zabrak. Twi'lek. Wakandan. French. Love it. It adds texture and personality to even the simplest declaration of desire.

First fandom you wrote for? Star Wars Original Characters were the first I ever posted to Ao3. We don't need to get into my LiveJournal days.

Favourite fic you’ve written? My first one. I'm so so proud of it. Adventures of Relics

I wrote it before I knew anything about how readers approach OCs or sapphic fics, so I didn't get into all the self doubt and hesitation that sits on me now. I just put my whole heart into it.

Off you go to answer questions:

@tllgrrl, @sarifinasnightmare,

20 Questions for Fic Writers

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 49. I have a few options for #50…

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 299,440. Ok, I hadn’t realized I was that close. Now, my answer to #1 might be “a new 560-word drabble.”

3. What fandoms do you write for? I’m nearly exclusively writing for Avatar: Legend of Korra, with a little bit of Last Airbender, where it fits in.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

1. Rainstorm - Su is there for Lin, for once. 2. The Well of Need - My first long-form story, with Lin taking care of Kya. 3. This is My Anchor - A mid-sized Kyalin story where Lin doesn’t make Kya take care of her. 4. I’m Sorry I Need You - An angsty one-shot that fits with a couple others in the “marriage is hard” domain. 5. Walk With Me - A longer-than-intended one-shot variant on a Tumblr joke.

5. Do you respond to comments? I do, as soon as I can. Sometimes, that means getting off work. Sometimes, that means giving a response as meaningful as the comment was to me. 

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? For complete stand-alone stories, that is likely Something Changed, where the last words are usually joyous. I can’t find the link for the worst-worst ending I have, so just pretend that never happened.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? The happiest ending? I like my happy endings, so this is tough. But I think I’ll go for Elemental Changes, because that launched my collaboration with @slowdissolve on Red Jade.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not hate, exactly. One reader informed me that I had ‘let them down’ on a follow-up story because I didn’t write the story that was in their head. 

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I’ve done a little, but it hasn’t been a focus for me. And, aside from the polyamory aspect, it’s all as vanilla as it comes.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Not unless you count LOK + ATLA a crossover, which I don’t.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Not to date.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? @slowdissolve and I wrote Moonsigns together, and we published two versions. One is told in first-person language and color coded, on Tumblr. We then followed it up with a more traditional third-person version that does not rely on color, on AO3.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? Kyalin is where everything opened up for me. 

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I’m taking quite the long view of all of this. I haven’t added to Their Sacred Year in a while, but have the outline for the next installment, so I don’t consider it abandoned.

16. What are your writing strengths? Folks seem to like my dialogue and plotting.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I struggle with the final rising action / climax / falling action, to keep the pacing appropriate to the story.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I don’t plan on it, given I am uneducated in the languages appropriate to this setting. 

19. First fandom you wrote for? Legend of Korra.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? Saving the hardest for last. Naming the favorite child. Ok, fine. In that case, I’ll have to choose <wrestles with self> Elemental Changes (see #7), mostly because it’s a completely off-the-wall idea that I was able to see through and complete. And to have Slowdissolve illustrate the ending was an absolute capstone.

So I get to thank both @krastbannert and @wishingforatypewriter for their invitations!

Now, it's time to throw the floor open to folks like @yell0wsalt, @dont-blame-it-on-the-kids, @linguini17, @frogblast-the-ventcore, @badlucksav, @cdlunee, and of course,

you.

[arsenicpanda]

When Riverdale gets back to the present in s7, I want Jughead to do more with teaching or something community related (maybe supervising school newspaper from 5x19?), bc his character got so much flatter after they removed his concern for his community from s4 onward. Also, if he's going to be with Tabitha, Riverdale's official guardian angel, and they're going to stay in Riverdale, I think it would be really appropriate to show him have a significant concern for the people of Riverdale as well. And, like, Jughead had such troubles as a teen, a true Troubled Youth with half or more of his episodes having the plot of a Very Special Episode of a sitcom, that I think it works best for him to be invested in kids too, and bonus points for having anything parallel his relationship with Pop but with Jughead in Pop's place, just having him live up to the name of the family he'll marry into. Like, I desperately need the set up for them taking up Pop's mantle and being Ma and Pop Tate/Jones-Tate/Tate-Jones, Riverdale's supportive parents for wayward souls, in the future. He shouldn't step on her toes in this trait, but they should be a team here because it's heartwarming and cute. It also follows up on the way his heaven featured a kid who was similar to Jughead visually thanking him for the stories he wrote and talking about how they helped him.

(Also, I would like Tabitha to have things to do that aren't just helping and taking care of other people, like let her have independent stories and be supported herself (esp by Jughead, please even things out on that front), don't just have her give and give and give endlessly.)

Also, the way they removed FP and Jughead's concern for his family and the way he struggled with his relationship with that legacy and baggage was already such a huge blow to his complexity as a character, so removing his previous concern for his community of top of that was ROUGH for his character; it really flattened him out. I know that FP leaving was out of the writers' control, they probably couldn't have gotten Gina back, and JB's actress couldn't pass for 19/20 post-time skip so they couldn't use her either without awkwardly recasting, but they could have had Jughead talk about them or imply off-screen communication or brought his grandfather in, just something, anything to keep what had previously been such a major part of his character intact. Also, it was super weird to make him a 3rd-generation alcoholic but never bring that up or have it be a point of angst or drama because a.) you'd think that'd be important and b.) it's SUCH a dark thing to write and it's weird to not acknowledge how depressing it is.

Idk, the way that Being A Writer became such a significant part of Jughead's stories starting in s4 when it was previously more of just, like, a thing he did on the side while some mystery/community thing was his main story before really bugs me because it's such a boring development. Characters who are About Writing, especially male characters who are About Writing on tv, are a dime a dozen, and one of the good things about Jughead in s1-3 was that it was an important part of his character but the writers didn't spend much or any time on it because there were better, more interesting things to do, which was a stark contrast to the way a lot of writer characters on tv become tiresome, annoying, self-contradictory circle-jerks. But then his plots started being at least partially About Writing, and it's been tiresome every time. He doesn't even barge into people's offices to argue over some mystery or harm they're doing to the community anymore, it's such a bummer because that was always so incredibly funny. (I need them to bring that back when he's a teen in the 50s again.)

And it doesn't help that every sample of his writing we've gotten has been so, so bad. Like, Riverdale writers, please throw my boy a bone and hire a talented prose writer for some excerpt(s) of his writing so I can believe he's a good writer who's honed his craft over the years, because the alternative isn't so, so sad.