#escape tag on the mind. thinking about getting up north and the joys of the road and then realizing I would have to start my life there. I

[milo-is-rambling]

I think I’m always going to be running and trying to find the next thing that will make me happy and it will always be something I have to find within myself. So that’s cool.

[redbeansoups]

Move-In Day

Cove Holden x Reader

In which Cove Holden helps you move into your brand new dorm, and wishes you farewell before your freshman year.

Takes place after Step 3.

*

Like it or not, your life has always revolved around one Cove Holden. One bright-eyed, silky-haired, infuriatingly endearing Cove Holden. It’s always been him, in everything you’ve done, forever a spectator and participant in one. You have never known a time without him: your classmate, neighbor, best friend and boyfriend-extraordinaire.

Even now, as you edge into adulthood, Cove Holden is all you know: seated beside you with one hand on the wheel, wavy hair tucked behind his ears, his eyes longingly on yours. He catches your gaze, and offers you a smile, full of sincerity as always.

The journey upstate had been a long time coming; a goal, ever-present, but inching along so slowly that you’d opted merely to brush it off. But as the summer of your senior year came to a close, your move-in day had sprung up on you like an unpleasant (albeit somewhat enthralling) surprise.

Cove, forever a gentleman, had insisted on driving you all the way. You’d argued against him, only to be shut down–and quite firmly at that. “If you’re going to be moving so far away,” he’d told you one night, “then the least I can do is go and see you off.” He was a much better driver than you anyway, you’d reasoned with yourself, and it’d be nice to have another pair of hands to unpack. The idea of flying alone didn’t quite appeal to you either, so, after hardly a moment’s hesitation, you’d agreed to let him tag along.

College, all the way up north–you can hardly believe you’d come so far. You’d dreamt of this for years, spent months drafting application essays and crafting resumes. Years of preparation and research, though, hadn't seemed to brace you for the anxiety to come.

Even now, sitting in the car with Cove, hands intertwined, the idea feels more like a dream than your living, breathing reality. But the car trudges along, movements never once faltering for your thoughts.

You’d be on your own soon–a stray left for dead. You’d be nowhere near Sunset Bird anymore.

Lost in thought, it takes you more than a moment to grow cognizant of your surroundings. The scenery has shifted, the sky around you having faded to a pale purple hue. The change in atmosphere is instant. High-rise buildings litter the skyline; the shopping districts, no longer limited to a single street, bustle with activity.

It feels, beyond anything else, unfamiliar.

Isolating.

Realistically, you are far from alone. Derek, having gotten his scholarship, lives right down the hall. Your parents and sister are always a call away, and your friends have never failed to remind you of their presence. And Cove, despite being far from technologically adept, is still a better texter than most–and a relatively consistent one at that.

These thoughts, at least, are reassuring.

But the fear remains–and all you can do is try and work alongside it.

You turn to Cove. The window has been rolled down; you feel the cool evening breeze against your skin, fresh and foreign all at once. His hands are running mindlessly through his hair, detangling the inevitable wind-induced knots. Your eyes flit down to his fingers drumming against the steering wheel, then lower down to his scar, the pale white mark running gently down his forearm.

Sitting there, so unaware of himself, sunset illuminating soft features–Cove is beautiful, in every possible way.

You smile, content.

*

The hours pass, and before you know it, you find yourself on campus for the first time.

You tap the keycard to your door, and it opens with a soft click. The two of you are met with the sight of the dorm, the yellow-tinted wood somehow even less impressive than the photos you’d seen online. Barren walls, popcorn ceilings, worn-down linoleum from decades past. Sparsely decorated as it may be, the room puts you at ease.

You let Cove move past you to enter. “What a joy.” You scoff at the drawl in his voice. “Where’d you say your roommate’s from?” he asks, his shoulders nudging the door wider. His set of boxes is significantly larger than yours, and he looks smaller than ever with the stack cradled against his chest.

“Florida,” you answer, following his footsteps.

“Oh.” He sets the cardboard down on the ground, the impact resounding with a solid thump. “I hope they won’t mind the mess we’re about to make.”

That draws a laugh out of you; you think back to all the times you’ve stepped into his room, only to find it a complete bird’s nest. “They’re not moving in until tomorrow.” Another thump resounds as you drop your own load. “We have time to clean. But don’t mess things up too bad, please. I’d like a good first impression.”

“No promises.”

You roll your eyes, and, cracking open the first box, begin the arduous process of unpacking.

*

“Well,” Cove says finally, brushing dust away from his hands. “I think that was the last of your stuff.”

Setting the last of your books in place, you take a moment to revel in your surroundings. Despite his messy tendencies, Cove had done a pretty good job–with your assistance, of course. All your clothes had been folded neatly up in the closet, and your posters were hung all over the walls, like a delicate reminder of home. On the desk sat two small photo frames; one with you and your family, and one with you and Cove.

“I guess so, huh,” you mutter.

There’s a weight in the air around you, and you bow your head.

There’d been too much to discuss. Hell, even now the topic was one you wanted nothing more than to avoid. The ‘what-ifs’ had littered your mind for months now, hanging over you like a constant reminder. And though Cove had tried his best to dispel them, they’d inevitably come back–and with a vengeance. You didn’t know what the future held, nor did you know whether the two of you would last. Uncertainty riddled your mind: what if he grew bored? What if the two of you lost interest? What if, after all your time together, the physical distance became too much?

His hand comes to rest on your shoulder. The gesture is light, gentle–a welcome pressure.

The tension dissipates.

You sigh, lifting your chin up to meet his gaze. There’s a softness in his eyes you’ve come to recognize as sadness. And there’s a warmth behind your own that threatens to grow hot, to liquify and pool before you. You choke back the urge to cry, stifling yourself by clearing your throat. “You’ll text me, won’t you?”

He chuckles softly at that, thumb stroking circles into your skin. “Of course. I’ll call you so often you’ll grow sick of me.”

“I’m counting on it, Cove.”

You give him one last hug, inhaling his scent and pressing your cheek to his chest. He smells like Sunset Bird, a mixture of the ocean and the beach and all the pleasantries that come along with it. His pulse, slow and steady, beats in your ear.

Devoting the moment to memory, you angle your head to plant a peck on his cheek. “Thanks for helping me move in.”

He grins at you. “Of course.” The expression sparks something strange in you, something equal parts melancholy and equal parts pride. You so badly want him to stay–you want to reach out, pull him down into the bed and sit right atop him so he might never escape your grasp.

“I love you,” you whisper, part-plea and part-farewell; you see the pain in Cove’s eyes. “Don’t get into too much trouble while I’m gone, alright?”

He lets out a breathy laugh and, shaking his head, shoots you a smile. "I love you too."

You smile, and breathe him in just once more. Then, with one last teary kiss, you let go, and wish him a safe journey home.

You’re on your own now–

But you know he’s with you, always.

*

A/N: Another self-indulgent piece as always, because I've fallen in love with one Cove Holden. My freshman year of college starts soon, and I guess my worries culminated in this piece. Thanks for reading, though–I hope this was alright! Any reblogs or likes are appreciated!!

[mnictasbcl]

Hello! Sorry to hear your day isn't going well, I hope you feel better soon <3

For a fic what about a soft or hurt/comfort RK1K drabble using the prompt "Safe" 🥰

Thank you very much! :) 

This fic was fun to write, thanks for the prompt!

Safe

Word count: 1407

Pairings: Connor/Markus (RK1K)

Rating: General Audiences

Tags: Angst, Emotional hurt/comfort, talk of death, eventual fluff

Summary: The Revolution had succeeded. Everyone had played their part.But after finishing his speech, Markus can't find Connor anywhere. It will be his task to bring the android back home, where he belongs with his people.

Read it on ao3! Or, read it below the cut

Hundreds, thousands of androids saved from the sublevels of the Cyberlife Tower. Markus watched as they were led towards him by none other than Connor. Who had once been the famous ‘deviant hunter’; they’d met in Jericho, gun pointed to his head but he’d gotten through to the other android. You’re one of us.

Distrust had welled in his heart at first—that tended to come with a relationship that begun with a gun pointed at you. Especially as his first deviated words were telling him that they were going to attack Jericho.

But then Connor helped them. After Markus had detonated the explosive in the hold of the great freighter, North had been injured and Connor had helped take out the guards coming after them.

So when they got to the abandoned, dilapidated church, he trusted the android.

Then he thought he’d never see him again. A deviant going back to Cyberlife, trying to liberate their people? It was unheard of. It was a death mission.

Yet he let him go. Connor couldn’t be stopped. He could feel the guilt coming off the other android in waves. This was a way to make amends—but not just to Markus, to the people of Jericho—to all of his people.

 When he came back, an army marching behind him, Markus beamed. Tried to pretend he hadn’t had a lingering worry in the back of his mind ever since the other android had left.

You did it.

 The stage was set. Markus told their people of their freedom, the peaceful battle was won. Afterwards the crowd rose up into cheers, everyone breaking out into joy. It was over.

Well, he knew it wasn’t completely over. This was the first step to androids becoming an equal species in their own right. But it was the most important step. Practicalities and laws hung tentative in the air; but their victory shared none of this doubt.

They were free.

So he turned around to address his crew. North, Simon, Josh.

“We did it.” North smiled.

He held out his arms, and all earlier disputes between them were pushed aside. They hugged in the centre of the stage, the small circle of their union radiating warmth.

But as they pulled apart, Markus noticed someone was missing.

“Where’s Connor? He should be here too.”

Simon pointed into the crowds. “I noticed him slip off the stage after you finished your speech, but then he disappeared into the crowd.”

He frowned. “He should be with his people.”

“Relax, Markus,” Josh patted him on the shoulder, “he’s only just become a deviant. Give him time.”

“I understand what you mean, but…” he frowned, looking out at the space beyond the androids. The cold streets lined with snow, abandoned almost completely of humans.

“It’s not safe out there.” North finished for him. “It’s okay, Markus. We can hold things down here whilst you go and look for him.”

“Are you sure?”

“We’re with you.”

“Now go and look for that dumb android before he gets himself frozen out there.”

 Markus didn’t need to be told twice. As he walked around the crowds, away from the cheering and shouting, he began to wonder why he cared so much. Well, he did care for all of his people—but the worry that had nestled snugly at the back of his mind was now consuming his thoughts. Connor had done great things for them. He shouldn’t feel bad, not right now, he had been a tool of Cyberlife, as they had all been.

He was glad for his coat providing warmth because the winds were bitter, nipping at his skin. They would need to find shelter for the androids soon, he understood their want for freedom but it wouldn’t do for everyone to catch a chill.

He hoped Connor was wearing something just as warming. He’d noticed he’d forgone his beanie and jacket for his old Cyberlife uniform, and it wasn’t as if Cyberlife designed those with comfort and practicality in mind.

His answer was finding the RK800 jacket strewn on the floor, buried under snow. Shaking it off, he shook his head. “You idiot.”

 And said idiot he found a few paces away, hunched in on himself, shivering.

“Connor! What are you doing out here?”

But to his surprise, when Connor heard him, he tried to move away. His actions were stiff, and he instead fell onto his side, rather mechanically like an old computer being pushed over.

From working with deviants, he knew not to immediately rush to comfort. Instead, he crouched down a few paces away from him.

“It’s okay, I’m here now.”

“Go…away.”

Markus furrowed his brows in concern. “You don’t have to be alone, Connor.”

With a monumental effort the android got his bearings and pushed to his feet. Now with his face no longer obscured Markus could see the dampness of wet snow soaked into his clothes, could see the ice forming crystals on his skin.

“Please. Leave.”

“No.”

Connor shook his head. “You have to. It’s not safe.”

Markus looked around him. “What’s not safe is you sitting out here in the cold by yourself, Connor. Come back to Jericho.”

“Jericho is gone, Markus.”

“Maybe the place, but not the people.”

Connor stepped away from him. “You don’t have to make me feel better. I know that I got a lot of people killed. And I almost—” He stopped. “It doesn’t matter. It’s not safe to keep me around. So just go back, okay? They need you more.”

Markus took a step forward in turn. “And they need you too. You saved hundreds, thousands of them. You saved me, you saved North—”

“And I almost got you killed!”

“Which wasn’t your fault. What we did because of our programming isn’t our fault. Would you blame the others, if they did regrettable things before they deviated?”

Connor seemed to deflate at this. Hands relaxing at his sides, moving towards Markus—

Before jumping back again like a wounded animal.

“No. Just leave, Markus, please. Before you get hurt.”

“Is that a threat, Connor?”

“No! No, I don’t want to hurt you. I just… I… can’t stop it…”

“Can’t stop what?”

“Her! She tried to make me kill you.”

Markus held out his hand. “That was before, Connor. You weren’t a deviant.”

“Yes, I was.”

Now it was Markus’ turn to look confused.

“I was a deviant. On the stage, earlier, I almost shot you.” Now he’d started, he couldn’t stop. “I was a deviant but they could still make me do my mission. I thought I’d helped, I thought I’d helped the Revolution succeed but then the gun was in my hand, and it was cold, and I couldn’t move and—”

“What exactly happened, Connor? I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

“Amanda.” He grit out the name. “My handler. An… AI, of sorts, in my Mind Palace. She tried to make me shoot you.”

“What?” His level tone wavered. “Connor—an AI in an android, a part of Cyberlife still there after you deviated… that’s not right.”

“I know,” Connor turned away, “I know. I’m dangerous. That’s why you need to go.”

“Well, is she still there?”

A pause.

“…I think she’s gone. I escaped with some sort of emergency exit that Kamski—”

“Then you’re not dangerous. Not to me, not to Jericho—not to you. Cyberlife is gone now, Connor.”

Connor blinked, taking this in. His LED spun from red to yellow.

“But I could have killed you, Markus. The Revolution would have been over. You would have been dead.”

“You didn’t. Because you’re strong, Connor. You were their greatest tool to stop our freedoms but even with that immense level of control over you, you resisted. You resisted so far as to save my life not once, but twice. As well as saving the lives of all of those androids. You don’t have to be scared anymore.”

Connor reached out where his hand was waiting and brushed his fingers gently. Without meaning to, both of their skin peeled away at the contact, white chassis peeking through. Some sort of spark between them, blue and bright and beautiful—

And Markus took the opportunity, feeling Connor’s fear and doubt, and smothered it with his security, comfort, warmth.

With slow, fluid movements they moved closer together, brushed fingers becoming held hands, becoming a warm, tight embrace.

“You’re free, Connor. You’re safe.”

[nicketynic]

requiem

Written for Day 1 of  @jonsa-week 2019. Past - Present - Future. A day late, but I’m getting there. Beware of bittersweetness. 

He found her in the stuffy old attic of Stark Manor, leaning against the large antique windows overlooking the gardens the family collectively called “Melantha’s Joy,” her great, great-grandfather Willam’s gift to his Blackwood bride when she arrived from the fertile Riverlands to the winter-torn North. Sansa had always loved that story, a fact Jon remembered with a soft smile as he crossed the room to stand behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. 

“What have you been doing up in this dreary old place?” he inquired, thoughtfully glancing down at the rain-soaked garden, covered in a multicolored autumnal blanket. The winter roses were beginning to bud, one of Sansa’s favorites. “Everyone’s been looking for you.”

When she neither responded nor leaned back into his embrace, Jon looked down speculatively to whatever the object of her deep contemplation must be, finding her to be holding a photograph. He felt almost sheepish at the image of himself, so young and fresh-faced and grinning ear to ear, sprawled out across an old feather mattress beside a laughing Sansa, the two of them covered in an absurd amount of dust. The carefree joy of that afternoon flooded back to him, the two of them seeking refuge from yet another boring family function, the silliness of hiding like children devolving into an impromptu game of tag. Jon, exasperated with his evasive prey after circling the attic four or five times and still not the best cognitive thinker at nineteen, had gone for a tackle. They landed hard on an antique bed in the corner, disturbing a decade or two of dust and grime. Sansa’s quick reach for her camera had immortalized the moment for their eyes to see now a decade later. Jon grinned, tucking his chin against her shoulder to take a closer look.  “I remember that. I don’t think I stopped sneezing for the rest of the day.”

Sansa traced a finger down the familiar features of his smiling face, forever captured in time. “We used to sneak up here,” she whispered, tilting her head back toward the window. “Take snatches of time together whenever we could. There wasn’t anything we couldn’t talked about, nothing we couldn’t share.” She sighed. “Our first kiss. Our first time.” She closed her eyes, leaning her forehead against the glass. “I miss that. Everything seemed so much simpler then.”

Solemn and focused in his concern now, Jon tightened his arms around her. “Things change, lovely girl. But it doesn’t mean we don’t still have a lot of good in our lives.” He paused thoughtfully, searching for the appropriate words. “Today is a happy day. Don’t lose sight of that.”

She was quiet for a long moment, before she nodded resolutely. “What am I thinking...today’s a good day, not the time for sad memories. I can’t forget that.”

Jon hummed in agreement. “I love you,” he replied softly, pressing a kiss to her hair. “I know this whole process had been stressful, and everyone’s coming across a little overbearing, but they mean well. There’s no need to hide up here any more, sweetheart. Sometimes it’s better not to be a secret.”

She sighed and relaxed, pressed between the window and his body. She closed her eyes, smiled, and softly breathed his name. “Jon.”

The sound of the rain against the manor’s roof echoed through the quiet space, and just for a few peaceful moments, he held her silently, letting the rest of the world wait just a little bit longer.

Jon was nervous, though he wasn’t quite sure why. 

A military veteran with two tours under his belt, he had risked his life countless times and come out unscathed, And yet, he had never been more petrified, struck more terrified, than by the happenings of this day. 

A wedding. 

The ceremony was to be held in a modest little sept in Wintertown, despite Sansa’s initial insistence on a Northern gathering in the godswood of the old Winterfell estate. The appearance of a small bump around her middle quieted all talk of outdoor espousals, and the late spring wedding date became autumn nuptials. For Sansa’s sake, Jon let himself get used to the idea, but couldn’t help thinking back to the games of pretend they played when they were young, and the numerous blankets and jackets he draped around her imagining a grand Stark cloak of yore. 

He fiddle restlessly with the sleeve of his jacket, letting in his eyes wander over the assembled crowd, taking some comfort in the assembly of familiar and beloved faces. Soon enough, the crowd grew quiet and he followed their gazes toward the back doorway. She was a vision in white, breathtakingly beautiful in ways no mortal should have a right to be. His mouth went dry, his heart pounded, and blood roared in his eyes as Ned walked her slowly down the aisle, proudly bringing her to a stop beside her future groom. 

The ceremony flew by quietly, and Jon doubted he heard or understood a single word escaping the septon’s mouth. Vows were said with breathless enthusiasm, her radiant smile remaining the center of his world as bride and groom were finally pronounced husband and wife. 

The applause of the crowd dulled to a low drum as Jon stood before her, swallowing hard as he gently laid a hand against her cheek and leaned down. 

The kiss was soft, light as a whisper, barely tangible if not for the way his heart soared with elation, and all other sensation melted away save for the brush of his lips against hers. 

Sansa Stark gasped abruptly, her eyes widening as she touched her fingers to her tingling tips. A fleeting brush of contact, no more palpable than a soft breeze of air, and yet she had felt him. An achingly familiar presence, a kiss she could never forget despite three years without. Jon. 

Beside her, her husband frowned in concern. “Darling, are you alright?”

Sansa distractedly reassured him, her eyes lingering thoughtfully on the empty space beside her. 

Jon’s smile was soft and sad, as he raised his hand in an attempt to touch her once again, but this time to no avail, his fingers passing through her rather than finding purchase. It was a good man beside her, a man who loved her openly and wholeheartedly, no dark corners or midnight whispers required. Everything Jon had never been able to offer her. 

“Congratulations, Sansa.” I love you, was the last thought to fill his mind as a warmth and a peace like he had never known enveloped him, and he closed his eyes, finally letting go. 

Jon Snow, dead for nearly four years, had managed to fulfill an old promise, and kiss the bride on her wedding day. 

[rufousnmacska]

Goodbye and Hello - 1

I’m still bitter we didn’t get a proper manorian goodbye in Kingdom of Ash. So here’s my attempt. KoA spoilers!

Tagging @itach-i and @nestasbucket. If you’d like to be tagged in the next few parts, let me know!

fanfic master list (including the link to my fics on AO3, under the same username)

**********

Part One

I Wish...

Laughter and music filled the great hall as everyone gathered for their final night together. All the armies, all the healers, all the witches planned to leave Orynth tomorrow.

Manon stared at her plate, trying to convince herself to eat what was on it. A round of applause broke out and she looked up to see a crowd gathering at the far end of the room. A group of young witches walked past her, hurrying to join the dancing. As the clapping took on fast tempo, Manon’s attention returned to her food.

The initial burst of joy that had accompanied the tiny purple flower brought from the Wastes had dissipated over the past weeks. The reality of what it meant slowly settled like a lead weight in her chest. Seeing Ironteeth and Crochan witches looking forward to the future helped to buoy her mood sometimes. But it couldn’t erase the truth that none of them really knew what the future held in the Wastes. And it couldn’t fill the hollowness that continued to grow inside her.

Her eyes flitted across the room, never lingering very long on anyone or anything. The itch to fly was beginning to prickle under her skin. She knew Glennis watched, so Manon ate a few bites, then stood to leave, claiming she had to pack.

It wasn’t a lie exactly, as she did need to gather her things. But she also needed to get out of here. The witches at her table accepted the excuse without so much as a glance, and Manon felt a sharp pang of grief at the thought that the Thirteen would have seen right through it. Asterin would have gone along to make sure she actually did pack, Sorrel and Vesta following close behind.

As she walked through the maze of hallways, she could almost feel Asterin trailing her to the room she’d been sharing with Dorian.

Most nights she ended up in the aerie, but she usually began them here. He never stopped her going, even when she accidentally woke him. She had not mentioned the Thirteen to him, to anyone, since those moments after the final battle. He knew why she was pulled to the balcony to stare across the plain with Abraxos. He’d offered to come with her once, and when she’d hesitated, he’d kissed her forehead and said, “Just ask if you ever change your mind.”

When she opened the door, his scent wrapped around her, and she immediately set to gathering her things. This was going to be hard enough without drawing it out, she might as well get it over with. A humorless laugh escaped her as Manon better understood why Dorian had left without saying goodbye all those weeks ago.

“What’s so funny?”

She whirled to find him closing the door. She’d been so lost in thought she hadn’t noticed he’d followed her here.

“You should be back in the hall. Enjoying the celebration with your friends,” she said, ignoring his question.

His eyes bore into her, and she almost looked away. “I’m exactly where I want to be.”

She went back to stuffing clothing into her bags. She didn’t want to do this. Didn’t know how to do this.

Without a word, Dorian walked over and took the shirt from her hands. Setting it aside, he gently turned her to face him. Manon didn’t think she could look at him, so she stared straight ahead, focusing on the triangle of bare skin where his collar hung open.

The pale band around his neck called to her, and she brushed her fingers along it. The sound of his heartbeat quickened and she felt the heat rise in his skin. For a moment, she considered not stopping. Considered taking him to bed to distract them both from whatever conversation he seemed intent on having tonight. And what was coming tomorrow.

But the idea seemed like a coward’s way out, and she was not a coward. Even if fear lined most of her thoughts these days.

She’d admitted her fears to him once before, and he had not judged her. There was no one else left that she trusted this much, no one she’d allow to see her this vulnerable.

As before, he knew what was wrong, at least the shape of it. But instead of confronting her, he’d been quiet and patient and... there. Always there. Nothing more, unless she’d asked.

Dropping her fingers from his neck, she took a breath and said simply, “I’m afraid.”

Dorian pulled her against him, wrapping his arms around her and resting his chin on her shoulder. “Of what?” he asked, his hand stroking her back.

His touch felt so good, the pressure easing her tense muscles, and she relaxed into him. “I don’t know how to do this without them.”

The truth had been building in her for days. Confessing part of it lightened the heaviness inside her, just a little. So, she went on. “I don’t know if I ever truly believed we’d go home. Not until recently. And now. To face it without them...” She trailed off. As he squeezed her tighter, she said, “I feel so alone.”

Not once had Manon truly considered a future without all of the Thirteen. A future where they were gone and she was left to carry on. Even the prospect of being queen, a duty she’d now fully assumed, had never altered that image. If they weren’t there, she wouldn’t be either.

Dorian pulled away, steadying her with his hands on her shoulders. “You are not alone, Manon. They can never be replaced. But don’t ever think you’re alone. You have friends and family who care about you.” Moments passed in silence until finally, his voice roughened with emotion, he said, “I care about you.”

He’d said it before. But there was something in the words this time that felt different. A weight that had been lacking. The weight of a promise.

Manon slowly lifted her head to meet his gaze.

***

The dread of saying goodbye had made Dorian’s heart feel more and more fragile with each passing day. Now, he thought it might actually shatter.

It wasn’t lost on him that Manon couldn’t even say their names. No matter what mask she’d worn in front of the others, he saw the truth of what lay beneath.

The Thirteen were her family. Her entire family. And they were all gone. Glennis and her Crochan cousins might fill in that void someday, but it would take time. If it happened at all.

In a past life, Dorian would have tried distracting her with pleasurable touches or pretty words. In this life, had she been anyone else, he probably would have done just that. But Manon was not anyone.

Yet, if he spoke the words he truly wanted to say, whose mind would it ease? Likely not hers, as it would only overwhelm her. But his self control faltered as he felt the pain and sorrow emanating from her, as if his magic could sense it.

“I care about you,” he rasped. With each word, a spark of warm magic flowed from his hands into her. That spark lit something in her, making her eyes glow like flames as they met his.

“What do you want Dorian?” she asked, her voice little more than a whisper.

She’d asked that of him days ago. But this time, it was an entirely different question. The desperation to answer with the truth, with the words he’d kept from her before - You, all of you - almost won out.

Almost.

It would be too much for her right now, he reasoned, an extra burden she didn’t need to carry. Especially with their goodbye growing closer with each minute.

“I want…” he started, then stopped. If he couldn’t tell her everything, he could at least give her a glimpse into what he felt.

Dorian took her hand in his, and they both watched as his thumb glided back and forth over her fingers. “I wish we could take off on Abraxos and fly around the world,” he said. “Not as a king and queen. Just a man and a witch. No crowns, no responsibilities.”

Manon’s eyebrow quirked in mild amusement and Dorian took it as a sign to continue.

“We can go wherever we want. East to Wendlyn, or the fabled lands across the western ocean. North to the frozen wastes, then to the Southern Continent. I can visit libraries and book shops and you...” he paused, thinking.

A wry, expectant expression crossed her face and he almost laughed.

“You can visit blacksmiths for new and exotic weaponry. When we run out of money for new books and daggers, you can teach girls how to fight while I perform magic tricks and shape shifting for crowds. I will make you breakfast in bed each morning.” He gave her a knowing look. “And you can shut me up each night.”

Manon’s smiles had been given sparingly before the war, yet he’d still come to think of himself as an expert on them. The smile she rewarded him with now, the first he’d seen since they’d reunited, was soft and brief and breathtakingly beautiful.

“I asked what you want, not what you wish,” she admonished with a touch of teasing.

Without thinking, he asked, “Can’t it be both?” When she didn’t answer, he added, “I want whatever you choose to offer.”

Manon closed her eyes, all traces of her smile gone. No doubt she was remembering when she’d first spoken those words to him, on a ship just off the Eyllwe coast. It felt like lifetimes ago, but it had been little more than a few months.

Or, he realized, perhaps she was thinking of a different offer she’d made more recently, in a tent at the edge of the White Fangs. One he’d abandoned rather than answer. He knew that if he had, if he’d faced the same choice as Gavin, then the keys, the gate, this war... all of it would have ended much differently. He told himself he didn’t regret it, and perhaps he didn’t. But it haunted him nonetheless.

She said nothing, and turned away again to resume her packing.

Mentally kicking himself, he silently watched her move around the room. She didn’t have much to take with her, and he had no idea what had been done with the Thirteen’s things. It was likely that their weapons and supplies had been redistributed as the siege had dragged on.

When Manon was done, she stopped at the makeshift bed, little more than a pile of hay covered with blankets. Without looking at him, she said, “I wish we didn’t have to leave tomorrow.”

Any remaining will power he had left dissolved in that moment, and Dorian walked to her side. “I wish for that too, witchling. More than anything.” She shifted towards him and he pulled her into a hug. “Whatever happens, you will not be alone."

The embrace lasted forever and no time at all, until she broke away and took a half step back. Tentatively, not bothering to hide her shaking, she took his hand and placed it over her heart. "You will always be with me.”

Dorian smiled, amazed. He was always amazed by her.

“And you will always be with me.” He clasped her hand against his own heart, another wave of his magic pulsing into her.

***

Promise again laced his words, and the force of it settled within her chest. Just as his touch had done, the soft smile he gave her now seemed to pierce through her sadness.

Manon sat down on the bed, pulling him with her. Curled into his arms, she pressed her ear to his chest and listened to the strong, even rhythm. She’d expected a night of little rest, but instead, Dorian held her tightly, giving her occasional kisses until she fell asleep.

Waking well before the first rays of dawn, she tried not to disturb him when she rose to get dressed. Dorian’s eyes opened the instant she sat up and he watched silently as she began to strap on her sword and daggers.

“Are you planning to sleep in?” She’d meant it to sound light and joking, but it was overshadowed by the farewell they could no longer put off.

“You want me to go up to the aerie with you?” He tossed the blankets aside and stood, quickly throwing on clothes. “I thought you’d want to say goodbye here,” he offered as explanation.

I don’t want to say it at all, she thought, but said nothing.

A sharp knock on the door announced it was time, and she scanned the room once again before her eyes landed on him. “Ready?”

He opened his mouth, and for a second she thought he might actually say no. Instead, he nervously ran his fingers through his hair and nodded once. When he held his hand out for her, she didn’t hesitate.

They walked slowly to the castle’s uppermost balcony that had been serving as the wyvern aerie. Dorian’s hand was like a vise and Manon wondered whose trembling the tight grip was meant to quell.

When they reached the final door leading them outside, he stopped short and spun her around to face him. “The Ferian Gap.”

It wasn’t a question but he seemed to need an answer, so she said, “Yes.” He relaxed a bit, and she added, “I don’t know how long before I can get away."

With a tight smile, he cupped her face in his hands. “I know. We can decide on a time later. I just...” He blinked rapidly, but it didn’t lessen the bright sheen of moisture in his eyes.

Manon raised up onto her toes and kissed him. “I know,” she said into his lips. He dropped his arms around her waist and lifted her up against him. Sliding her arms around his neck, she held on as if her life depended on it. Just as he was holding her.

***

Dorian tucked her braid into the fur collar of her cloak and they walked outside to where the others were waiting. As soon as their queen appeared, shouts to prepare for flight rang through the dark, frigid air.

He stayed with her until she checked all the harnesses on Abraxos, never taking his eyes off her as she climbed up into the saddle. Every nerve in his body wanted to leap up there with her, every ounce of his magic strained to touch her. But he stepped back, just far enough to be outside the reach of Abraxos’s wings.

When she was settled and strapped in, and there were no more excuses to delay, Manon placed her hand on her heart and said, “Goodbye, princeling.”

Dorian touched his own chest and said, “Goodbye, witchling.” He forced himself to give her a lighthearted wink. “For now.”

A twitch of a smile. “For now,” she agreed.

Before he could take another breath, Abraxos was at the drop-off overlooking the city far below. His booming wings flapped once, twice, and then they were airborne. On brooms and wyverns, hundreds of witches took to the sky, a few falling into formation around their queen with the rest streaming behind.

He stayed, watching as the large host grew small on the horizon, where the first rays of morning were breaking over the mountains. The sunlight caught a shining wing that flashed silver, just for an instant. And then, it was gone.

Long after they disappeared and he could no longer stand the cold, Dorian turned and went inside.

***

Manon felt Dorian’s magic surround her and Abraxos the moment they’d taken off, and she was surprised by how long it stayed with them. Its warmth soothed them as they passed over the blast site that was the focus of their nightly vigils. When the power began to flicker, like a candle being blown out, she glanced over her shoulder, unable to make him out as anything more than a dark figure on the highest balcony.

And then, it was gone. They’d flown past the reach of his magic. The freezing air bit into her now unshielded skin and Abraxos released a melancholy whine.

A lifetime of habit had Manon twisting around in her saddle, an order for Asterin already forming on her lips. When unfamiliar witches stared back at her, she said nothing and faced forward again.

The reminder hit her as it always did, like a physical blow. Like the punch to her gut that had left her behind, and left her alone.

To be continued...

[pan-princess-levy]

from across the ocean

name: from across the ocean rating: general relationship: gajeel redfox/levy mcgarden (platonic and romantic) tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting | Texting | Pen Pals | Long-Distance Relationship | its a chat fic | but with lots of emotion in it | Tooth-Rotting Fluff | Gajeel Redfox is an actual meme summary: 

for her 15th birthday, levy receives membership to an international pen pal program.

[pen pals/long-distance relationship. 2nd-anniversary gift for my beloved bailey, @blackbloodrose20 ]

also read on ao3 and ffnet!

(although it doesn’t match any of the prompts, this is considered an entry for gajevy week 2019. rejoice with love!)

Membership in an international pen-pal program was not what Levy expected for her 15th birthday, but at this point, she was so lonely she was ready to accept everything.

She struggled to sit down with her broken leg, awkwardly stretching it on the small stool under her computer desk before pulling the box with the documents over. She could still hear the soft murmurs coming from downstairs and considered getting up to close the door.

Then she knocked her toes against the wall.

“Nope, not today. I’ve done enough walking.”

It was hard, to maneuver her fingers into the tight space between her computer and the wall, but after the third attempt, Levy managed to find the start button and turn the machine on. The whirling noise only worried her for a moment. Grandmere had suggested they could get a new computer soon anyway.

If she was even going to need that new computer.

The program had a forum and everything established. Levy looked up the rules and the suggestions of the server then searched up some more things about proper forum etiquette just in case. The registration only took a minute at the most. Finding a proper picture of her took longer and at last, she picked the one she found best from that visit to Paris from Christmas. (Her face looked horribly red from the cold, but it would have to do.)

The forum soon matched her up with her partner. Levy watched the animation process with curiosity. Her picture appeared from a small red dot that was supposed to be her hometown. The same red dot appeared somewhere in North America and a small picture jumped from it. A thin red line connected the two pictures.

A new tab opened, startling her.

Her fingers hovered over the keyboard and she narrowed her eyes, urging herself to switch to English. The tab was almost empty, only containing a big box for messages and few small menus to the side with options for adding pictures, emoticons and other things she didn’t really care about.

A green dot by the side meant her partner was online, too.

Levy bit her lip. She could always quit. She could always put everything away and hand the documents down some other kid in town, then wait for her leg to heal up and do her best to be social.

Or she could try to be brave for once in her life.

FlowerLevy: Hello?

The three dots on the screen almost drove her insane. Levy nibbled on her nails.

the_dragon_warrior: hi? i’m gajeel. what’s your name?

FlowerLevy: My name is Levy. It’s nice to meet you!

flowercrown: I want to die.

panthers: who do i have to kill

flowercrown: You can’t just go around killing people, Gajeel.

panthers: i mean

panthers: i can try?

flowercrown: It’s illegal!

panthers: i’m already a criminal you foolish child

flowercrown: Buying a beer that one time doesn’t count.

panthers: but it’s also illegal

flowercrown: You can’t offer murder every time I complain about something.

panthers: i so much can

panthers: fucking watch me tiny one

flowercrown: Stop calling me short.

panthers: but you are short

flowercrown: One day, Gajeel Redfox, your growth spurt will stop.

flowercrown: And then, I’m going to have the upper hand.

flowercrown: Just you wait.

panthers: i’m so scarred. terrified.

flowercrown: I hate you with a burning passion.

panthers: but you love me

Levy blinked for a moment, staring at the screen of her laptop with a mixture of confusion and something she didn’t recognize.

flowercrown: You don’t deserve my love.

panthers: <3

When Levy touched her cheeks, she felt heat radiate from under her fingers. Something strange had settled in her stomach, making her feel as if she was going to throw up any second.

flowercrown: <3

panthers: ha! i got you to send me a heart!

flowercrown: You’re so strange, Gajeel.

panthers: i know tiny

panthers: i know

He was horrible.

actual-disney-princess: um

actual-disney-princess: i might have done something

sunflower: Please tell me you didn’t kill anyone.

actual-disney princess: i did not kill anyone

actual-disney-princess: why do you always assume that?

sunflower: … Really.

actual-disney-princess: touché

actual-disney-princess: but nope

actual-disney-princess: i did something better

actual-disney-princess shared a picture

sunflower: Is this a kitten?

actual-disney-princess: yup

actual-disney-princess: meet lily

actual-disney-princess: i met him today and he stole my heart

actual-disney-princess: he’s my child now

sunflower: Oh dear god, he’s so beautiful!

sunflower: You’re going to be a good dad, Gajeel.

actual-disney-princess: dad?

sunflower: You adopted a little animal. I think that makes you a dad?

actual-disney-princess: oh

actual-disney-princess: i didn’t consider that

actual-disney-princess: that’s cool

actual-disney-princess: does that make you his mom?

sunflower: Why am I the mom?

actual-disney-princess: you’re my best friend dumbass

sunflower: Calling me your cat’s mother implies I’m your wife.

actual-disney-princess: oh

actual-disney-princess: do you wanna marry me?

Levy slammed her head against the library table, startling the small group of first-years on the next table over. Her face was burning as she awkwardly apologized to them and turned her laptop to the side. He was so dumb, it was a wonder she loved him as much as she did.

sunflower: You can’t ask me to marry you just because you want me to be your cat’s mother.

actual-disney-princess: umm rude

actual-disney-princess: are you going to leave poor lily motherless?

actual-disney-princess shared a picture

actual-disney-princess: LOOK AT HIS SAD KITTY EYES

actual-disney-princess: HOW CAN SAY NO TO HIS KITTY EYES

actual-disney-princess: HEARTLESS

sunflower: OKAY I’M GOING TO MARRY YOU

sunflower: Please stop, you’re making me feel like a bad person.

actual-disney-princess: didn’t want to

actual-disney-princess: but at least it worked?

sunflower: You confuse me so much sometimes.

actual-disney-princess: sometimes it’s my intention

actual-disney-princess: now wife

sunflower: ugh

actual-disney-princess: i see how much enthusiasm you have, lev

actual-disney-princess: you wound me

Levy stared at her phone’s screen for a long time, her heart beating like a hummingbird in her chest. She had trouble catching her breath, find it difficult to put her mind in a single, coherent thought.

Be brave, she urged herself. You can’t hold it anymore. It’s enough.

Her classmates had been talking about love and romance. Levy didn’t care about romance. Her grandparents were strict in their care and her school was even stricter. But they were young girls, young girls with dreams of love. And they talked and gossiped and shared.

And she closed her eyes and thought for someone who waited for her across the ocean and it made her heart hurt.

Levy’d been in love with her best friends for a couple of months—maybe more, who knew?—now. And with every day that passed without telling him, it hurt her more. It had needed for her to face her old crush and listen to the girls in her class talk about their relationships for her to realize her feelings, but once she did, keeping them in her heart made her break apart.

Telling Gajeel would, at worst, probably ruin their friendship and make him hate her. But not telling him meant risking souring the warmth she held in her chest for him and truth be true, she preferred losing him and keeping the memories of the joy she had over watching their friendship turn into hate over dark feelings.

Ugh, what am I thinking about? My childish crush isn’t something out of a Shakespearean drama. I should stop the dramatics and focus.

Tell him.

minicat: Gajeel?

bigcat: what up tiny?

minicat: Are you free right now?

minicat: There’s something important I want to talk about.

bigcat: yeah i’m free today

bigcat: what’s wrong?

Her fingers gripped the sheets of her bed. Do it. Tell him.

minicat: I like you.

minicat: I mean, in the romantic sense.

minicat: In the sense that I want to hold your hand.

minicat: And hug you.

minicat: And kiss you.

minicat: I’m sorry.

bigcat: wait what?

bigcat: what are you sorry for?

bigcat: i’ve been into you for like

bigcat: a year or something

minicat: You what?

bigcat: ha

bigcat: ha

bigcat is calling you…

Levy promptly dropped her phone, her hands shaking. She needed a couple of tries to swipe in the proper direction in order to pick the call.

“Hello?” she called out, her voice shaky and breathy.

“You’re so fucking dumb” came the voice from the other side, cracking just a bit. “I love you so damn much, dumbass.”

She stared at her room’s wall in awe, seeing black spots dance in her vision.

“Lev? Levy, fuck, answer—”

It took her only a couple of minutes—and some more of him calling her name— in order to gather her brains enough to form a coherent answer.

“Excuse me, you what?”

Laugh. He was laughing, the arrogant, egoisitic—

“I love you” Gajeel called from the other side of the connection, his voice cracking with laughter. “So damn much, you horrible, horrible, idiot bookworm.”

She covered her mouth to stop the choked sob for escaping, tears running from her eyes. She’d spent months wondering and pondering and torturing herself, and hoping, hoping for a little answer, the smallest hint—

“Say it” he told her. “I want to hear you say it.”

“Say what?” Levy asked, pulling her knees against her chest.

“You know what! Say it!”

She bit her knuckles to hold back another burst of emotion, feeling fear and worry and joy mix into her belly until every breath she took was heavy and ragged.

“I love you” she whispered, gasping.

“I know. But I do more.”

“To Andromeda and back” she added, and laughed, tears of joy trickling down her cheeks.

He stayed up with her for hours, until it was 3 am and the girl next door slammed against the wall and yelled for her to shut the fuck up.

“I suppose I have to say goodnight” Levy whispered as she tucked herself into bed. “Goodnight, Gajeel.”

“Night, Lev. Will you dream of me?”

“Maybe.” She smiled. “Talk more tomorrow?”

“Always.”

lionheart: Have you ever considered a double suicide?

black-panther: why are we pulling a romeo and juliet?

lionheart: Remember that exam I told you about?

black-panther: yikes

lionheart: Exactly. Yikes.

black-panther: sorry lev

black-panther: if it calms your heart i have finals too

lionheart: It does not!

lionheart: Why are you texting me instead of studying?

black-panther: i’m already dead inside tiny

black-panther: it won’t be much of a difference if i fail my academic career too

lionheart: I hate you.

black-panther: no you don’t

lionheart: No, I don’t.

black-panther: do you wanna talk?

black-panther: i have a free period in a bit

lionheart: I don’t think I would be able to.

lionheart: You’ve seen my revision schedule.

black-panther: i have

black-panther: it’s ridiculous

black-panther: you’re panicking too much

lionheart: I’m not panicking.

black-panther: you are

black-panther: i mean you’re texting me

black-panther: that means you don’t want to revisit and you want to distract yourself from studying

lionheart: I’m texting you because I’m dating you and I miss you!

black-panther: that’s cute

black-panther: but my point stands

lionheart: Gajeel, I need to pass this.

lionheart: My whole life depends on this.

black-panther: i know lev

black-panther: that’s why i know you’re gonna do this

black-panther: and even if you don’t

black-panther: that doesn’t make you a failure

lionheart: Gajeel…

black-panther: live ain’t just classes and grades and uni

lionheart: Thank you.

black-panther: wait i want to continue my tirade

lionheart: You care about me, don’t you?

black-panther: i’m dating you, dumbass

black-panther: and since don’t have any sort of instinct of self-preservation

black-panther: i gotta fill in

lionheart: I love you, grumpy.

black-panther: love you too dumb woman

lionheart: <3

princess: Gajeel?

dragon: hm?

princess: I might have done something.

dragon: murder?

princess: God be good, no.

princess: But… you might not like it.

dragon: tell me

princess shared a picture

dragon: your

dragon: your hair

princess: … Yes?

dragon: it

dragon: it blue

dragon: it fucking blue

dragon: you dyed your hair???

princess: … Yes?

princess: Is it that bad?

dragon: fuck

dragon is calling you...

“You really should stop doing that and just talk to me, you know” Levy said softly as soon as she picked, leaning into her comfy chair and sticking her legs out.

“Turn on your camera.”

She blinked and tilted her head back, staring at the ceiling.

“Gajeel, I’m not turning on my camera, I look horrible.”

 “Levy, love of my life, sun to my moon, turn the fucking camera on and let me see you.”

Levy let out a low hum, barely containing a wave of giggles as he started cursing from the other side. She’d found she loved teasing him—once she’d gotten under his skin, she knew just how to push his buttons in order to have the most fun possible.

“And what if I don’t?” she asked, lowering her voice to a gentle whisper.

“Please?”

Her chest filled with warmth at the sheer feeling in his voice. Levy whispered a soft “okay” and set the phone down by her laptop, then pressed her finger to the small camera button and waited. Her teeth dug into her lip to contain her nerves. It was rare that they talked on camera and dear God, she looked like a mess—

“Hey.”

When she looked at the small screen, Levy saw her chérie and smiled at him. All the worries in her belly came to an end, however, when she met his eyes. She waved shyly at him, pulling the pillow she kept on her desk to her chest and hugging it tightly.

“Hi” she called back, hoping her smile conveyed her joy. She wanted to hide so much.

Gajeel looked almost as much of a mess as she felt. His hair—sweet goodness, it was even longer than she remembered it now!—was tied off into a messy ponytail, his black-framed glasses almost falling off his nose. When she looked hard enough, she noticed he had added another pair of studs to his ears, bringing the total to eight. The eyeliner on his lids was just a bit smudged and from the back of her mind, she wondered when he’d put it on.

More than ever before, Levy wished she could touch him, run her fingers over his cheeks and his jaw and that small uneven bump in his nose he’d told her he’d gotten after breaking his nose when he was little; bury them into his hair and feel the silken strands between her fingers. And then, then she would kiss him, press her mouth to his, feel the warmth of his lips against her own.

“Stop hiding” Gajeel called out, a hint of amusement in his voice, and she looked up from where she’d buried her face into her fluffy pillow. “I want to see you. Please, Lev?”

“O-okay” she said with a bashful smile and lifted her head so she could properly meet his eyes. “Just for you.”

Even through the screen and all the kilometers between them, she could feel his gaze on her, touching her and caressing her as if it were his hands and not his eyes. It filled her with a warmth that not even the cold of the wind blowing outside could put down, that spread from the ends of her hair to the tips of her fingers and made her feel… Loved.

“Beautiful” he breathed out, his eyes soft and gentle. “Fuck—you look like a goddamn angel or something.”

Levy buried her face into the pillow and laughed, laughed until her chest hurt and she could barely breathe. His words, awkward but filled with kindness and affection, were more precious to her than any high praise someone could sing her.

“Do you really think so?” she asked when she finally gathered her breath, her face flushed with warmth. “I was worried you might not like it…”

“I don’t like it” he said, and for a moment her heart fell. “I goddamn love it.”

“Don’t scare me like that! Silly Gajeel…”

Gajeel laughed and it made her heart sing along, a smile coming to her face despite her desire to pout and hide in a corner. Had he been there, with her, she would have pushed him to the ground and tackled him, hitting his stupid beautiful face with her pillow. Alas, he was far, far away, and the only thing she could do was laugh along and stick her tongue out to him in the most childish manner ever.

She loved this idiot so much.

“Why didn’t you tell me before?” Gajeel asked after some time.

“I was worried you might try to convince me not to” Levy admitted, holding the comfy pillow to her chest and tucking her feet under her thighs. “My grandparents are probably going to have a heart attack when they see me, but honestly… I love the feeling of it.”

“Well, it certainly loves you. Hell, you look amazing.” His smile made her toes curl with joy. “Like a tiny, sparkly blue diamond.”

“Just because you’re tall doesn’t mean you get to make fun of us small people, giant.”

“Levy, you’re five feet nothing.”

“Five feet and half an inch!” She was exactly five feet, but he didn’t know that. Yet. “I’m exactly 1 meter and 53 centimeters tall! You’re just jealous because I’m the perfect cuddling size!”

“Lev, you’re so tiny I can probably fit you in my pocket.” His smirk only fed her sudden desire to kick him. “So small. Bite-sized.”

Oh, if looks could kill… Gajeel only laughed at her, the sound sending pleasurable shivers all through her body. Levy let out a sound of defeat and buried her face into her pillow, desperately hoping it could silence her cries of anguish. Sadly, it did not.

“You’re so cute when you pretend to hate me” he cooed. “C’mon, blue, look at me.”

Shy, Levy lifted her head met him. Her moon—she’d found she liked calling him that, to match him calling her his sun—had a soft look on him. He wasn’t smiling with his mouth but instead with his eyes, the deep brown-red now filled with warmth and the sort of adoration she’d only read about in her old romance books.

“You called me blue” she mused. “A new nickname?”

“To match your new hair, of course.” His smirk made her shiver. “Do you like it?”

“No, I don’t” Levy admitted with a bashful smile. “To be true, I love it.”

The banner was growing heavy and her arms could barely keep holding it up, but to hell if she was going to put it down.

She'd spent hours upon hours last night to make the best possible welcome banner. In the end, what came out of her desperate attempts was bigger than anything her arms would hold, with “Welcome, Gajeel!” written in the brightest, most neon shade of pink she had been able to find after days of searching around the stores in the Parisian neighborhood her auntie lived in. Flowers and hearts decorated the bright pink letters.

His plane had landed half an hour ago. She saw it touch down and saw the bridge. She saw people coming out, luggage and everything.

He was nowhere to be seen.

Levy did her best to not panic.

She'd arrived at the airport precisely 15 minutes before the plane landed, courtesy to the poor taxi driver she almost drove insane. (She'd left the largest tip her broke student self could afford.) The first part of them was spent in pacing around and muttering to herself in a peculiar combination of french and english. The second contained excitedly bouncing around the entry doors with the banner flying in her arms, unable to contain her joy.

By now, her arms were positively dying down from the weight and the size and the effort it took to keep it up. The neon pink letters glimmered in the harsh Parisian sun. Yet Levy held it up, determined to hold out. Even if it meant muscle fever for the next week.

“You look even tinier in person.”

Levy whipped around, retort on the tip of her tongue. She promptly hit herself in the face with the banner in her haste to fight whoever called her out for her height and their horrible french.

Then her mind registered what was actually said and she squeaked.

The person standing beside her only laughed. They were wearing the widest, happiest grin she'd ever had the courtesy to see, only mirrored by the one she'd noticed on her own face the morning when she woke up. Her eyes saw long hair and gleaming silver and incredibly impractical leather and combat boots. Her hair only saw warm red-brown eyes and a smile.

Gajeel raised one eyebrow at her, crossing his arms.

“Really?”

And then she promptly squealed and threw herself into his arms.

“I can't believe you hit me with the banner” Gajeel complained.

Levy was too happy to remind him why exactly she hit him, her hand tightly gripping his to the point her knuckles were almost white. He didn't seem to mind it, holding her as close as it was socially acceptable. The banner, bright pink letters and flowers and hearts, hung from her other arm, safely tucked against her side.

The sun shone brightly as she led him to the taxis lined just outside the airport. People were rushing in and out of the large building, like ants desperate to follow their High Queen’s orders. She heard a combination of languages all around her. Usually, the loud sounds and the mess and the people pushing against her would have sent her into a state of near panic. Right now however, with Gajeel gripping her as if she was his lifeline, Levy felt oddly calm.

She found she liked that feeling a lot.

His uncle waited for them by one of the larger taxis, arguing with the driver. He was just as tall and his aura just as murderous as she'd seen Gajeel's in one of his bad moods. His choice of language wasn't very far from it, either… The red-faced driver was almost glowing by now, bellowing insults in french and broken english in the same way.

Levy looked at Gajeel and noticed his nose wrinkling like it always did when he saw something funny.

“Should we interrupt?” she whispered, although she was sure even if she'd spoken louder, neither would have heard her.

“Nah.” Gajeel snickered and pulled her closer, his fingers slipping from her grip when his arm wrapped around her. “Lemme watch. It's fun as hell.”

Levy gaped, her mouth opening and closing. He was warm. Despite the searing July heat, she found herself nuzzling into his hold. His other arm followed and soon she was buried into his chest, face pressed into the faded gray shirt he wore. His scent - spice and just a little bit of sweat - made her belly curls and brought out a purr from the back of her throat. His laughter rang against the crown of her heat. Her flesh and bones melted at the warmth of his hold. She felt safe and sound. She never wanted to let him go.

It took time and strength to untangle herself from his hold. Gajeel looked like a kicked puppy and Levy had to cover her mouth to hide her giggles. He pinched her in retaliation and she yelped, pulling back and almost falling. (Again. Would she ever stop embarrassing herself in front of him?)

Just a meter or so away his uncle was still arguing with the driver, their fight growing louder by the minute. The passerby would stop and watch them. Levy felt her cheeks burn with shame. It wasn't something she hadn't seen before - her own family had no less fire—but not for the first time, she felt embarrassed.

Gajeel either noticed her discomfort or felt in a similar situation, because he stepped ahead and grabbed his uncle's shoulder. His voice was a hushed whisper. Levy couldn't help but notice how different it sounded from when he spoke to her—rougher, more natural, with an accent that made something in her tingle. His uncle let out a disappointed huff, yet still turned around and apologized to the red-faced driver about some of the words he'd used.

Levy watched the object of her affection (her silly dragon) with curiosity. To her utter surprise, Gajeel turned to the driver and spoke in clear, if lightly accented, french to him, apologizing further for his uncle's behavior and for not stepping in earlier. His uncle—whose name was Acnologia, it seemed—looked at him with a mixture of shame and annoyance. Gajeel ignored him and smiled with satisfaction when the driver opened the door and welcomed them in his vehicle.

After a particularly long and awkward (Gajeel had taken pity on her and let her sit by the window while he answered all of his uncle's embarrassing questions about their relationship) drive, their taxi stopped at the small square in the middle of the neighborhood. Levy got out immediately and moved her toes in her shoes, eager to take them off and dip them into cold water. Gajeel followed behind, the welcome banner under his arm and with that stupid grin on his stupid face. His uncle helped him get all his luggage.

“You sure you're gonna be okay, brat?” he asked, setting down the last bag. “There's plenty of space at the hotel.”

“Nope. Not gonna miss a single second around Blue.”

Acnologia made a sound that could only be described as gagging and waved him off, then got back into the taxi. Soon enough they took off, the sound reverberating through the relatively empty streets.

Gajeel was frowning.

“What is it?” Levy asked, adjusting the knot of her ribbon.

“I imagined Paris more… “

“More…?”

“Dunno. More… Not empty.”

Levy covered her mouth and giggled. He looked so confused. She wished she could take a photo of him like this. Alas, he would more than not likely finally fulfill his threats tickle her to death if she tried. Her wish would stay a wish.

(Fortunately, she had a whole folder on her laptop saved with embarrassing photos of him. His mother had sent some - “for posterity”, she'd claimed - but the rest were all screenshots from their face times. She would have so much fun finally getting to blackmail him.)

“Well, it’s hot outside” Levy reminded him as she picked some of his bags. “Also, we’re in the suburbs right now. Tomorrow, I’m taking out you to see the city.”

“Taking me out?” Gajeel asked, amusement written over his face. She couldn’t stop staring at him. “Like a date? Or with a sniper gun?”

“We will see” she said, giggling.

Together the three managed to carry all the luggage up the stairs. Aunt Amelie was ecstatic to finally meet the “sweetheart you haven’t stopped talking about for years!”. Levy gaped, torn between utter embarrassment and the urge to scream. Gajeel laughed so much he almost fell on the floor, clutching his stomach. At that point she had to hold back the desire to disappear into the floor.

They set his things in the small guest room by the side. Levy sat on the bed and watched Gajeel rummage through his bags. He was just five minutes in and the whole room already looked like a hurricane went through it. She found it hilarious.

She must have laughed out loud because when she lifted her head Gajeel was staring at her with a peculiar look in his eyes.

“What is it?” she asked, reaching down to slip off her shoes.

“We’re alone” he muttered. “I just—it’s strange.”

Levy couldn’t quite tell what he was trying to say, so she offered a shy smile. Gajeel looked equal parts confused and amazed, but when she offered her shaking hand, he reached out to grasp it with such eagerness that startled him. Taken by his momentum, she ended falling into his chest, her head knocking against him and sending her glasses somewhere in the floor.

“Sorry for hitting you” she mumbled into the fabric of his shirt. “And for… currently stepping on your feet.”

She tried not to burn as she took a step back, his laughter ringing in her ears.

“No, it’s fine.” His hand dropped from hers, only for seconds later to wrap around her back and pull her closer. “Can I hold you for a bit?”

The question startled her, but Levy nodded her head anyway, shyly curling her arms around his middle and burying her face into his chest. The warmth he seemed to radiate filled her soul, from bottom to top, as if she’d been drained from life for ages and only now got to feel it.

“You feel safe” she whispered, voice muffled by the cotton.

Gajeel let out a humming sound, his grip growing tighter around her. Instead of afraid, she felt as if she wanted to come closer and closer, until there was no space left between them. But perhaps it wasn’t the right time yet.

“So do you.”

[loljulie]

flicker; {009} waking up

(hello!! so idk if this tumblr tag thing is working right... if you aren’t getting a notification, pls let me know! and also, sorry this one is so short! i have some things planned that need their own chapters so, pls enjoy this for now! thank you for reading this story so much, i appreciate it! and as always, feedback is welcome!)

genre: detroit: become human deviant!connor x reader word count: 1510 ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓　 d̯̱̝̠̘̙͙e̼̯̣̗͈͇̳v̥̗̭̹̫ia̘̝͔͙͙̜ͅn͈t͇͓̦̻s̙̗͉̜͕  　▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ @dragonempress123​

@itstrashleydude​

@chisooyaaa​

@help-i-need-a-social-life​

@shadows-echoes​

@mavvsmm​

@sygin​

@wonders-of-the-multiverse​

Darkness encompassed your entire vision. Slowly, you noticed a faint, rhythmic beeping gradually become louder and louder, until it sounded like it was right next to your ear. A dull pain radiated from your right thigh.

Your eyelids were unbearably heavy, but the noise stirred you so much that you needed to open them. As they fluttered open, your eyes became aware of the woman to your left. She was dressed in a white coat and was observing you intently.

A harsh, bright light forced its way into your eyes. You winced and shut them in response. The light vanished when you heard a succinct click.

“Pupils are normal. She seems to be responsive,” the voice came from the doctor beside you. After reopening your eyes, you saw that she spoke to a nurse on the other side of your bed, who was writing on a clipboard.

“Lieutenant (Y/L/N), could you please tell me the last thing you remember?” Her voice asked. You blinked a couple times, trying to revive the memory. Steadily, small flashes of scenes crossed your mind until the entire event flooded your brain.

Hank, the replacement Connor, the gunshot.

“I was shot in the leg,” you answered, then looked down at your injury for the first time. Your leg was hidden under the blanket, but you were relieved to see it was still attached to you. “I remember calling the police for help, but everything after that is… fuzzy.”

“Yes, that was a day ago,” the doctor answered. “We brought you in shortly after you placed the call. You blacked out from blood loss, presumably because the bullet exited your thigh.”

“We didn’t have to perform any big surgery, but we did keep you under to stitch up your wounds. The bullet just barely missed any big arteries or your bones. We consider that very lucky,” the doctor commented with a slight tone of astonishment. You knew it had little to do with luck and more to do with the fact the shooter was an android who had the precision to know exactly where to hit you.

“You’re free to leave later today, but we recommend some physical therapy to help the damage muscle heal properly.” You nodded absentmindedly to her instructions, knowing they’d be given to you again anyway.

You looked around your room, spotting a familiar jacket with blue detailing on the chair next to the nurse. Connor.

You could almost cry with relief. He was alive and well, and could still be in the hospital to see you.

“Did I have a visitor?” You asked, nodding to the jacket. The doctor nodded, and her face became almost annoyed.

“Yes, two,” she answered curtly. You noticed how tense she became. “One was pleasant, the other one…. well, I had to ask them both to leave while you woke up. Just in case their presence gave you a shock. He did not like being told to leave.”

A small chuckle escaped your lips at that. “Hank can be pretty stubborn,” you admitted jokingly. The doctor furrowed her eyebrows before shaking her head.

“No… I think his name was Connor, actually. The one from the news.”

The news?

What had happened while you were gone?

“I can bring them back in if you’re feeling up to it…?” The doctor asked. You nodded wordlessly while your brain worked to speculate at what happened in the day you had been unconscious.

“There’s a call button to your left if you need anything,” she said as she began to leave the room. “We’ll get your discharge papers ready.”

She exited the room shortly after. You took a deep breath, both nervous and eager to see the two most important people to you. Not long after your doctor left your room, Hank and Connor entered it in a hurry.

Connor was the first one by your side. He hastily, but carefully, wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into a hug. When you didn’t squirm or wince in pain, he allowed himself to grip around you tighter.

“I’m so glad you’re alright,” he whispered, only loud enough for you to hear.

“Ditto,” you responded. Holding Connor next you was an experience you weren’t sure you’d get a day ago. You were so relieved to find out that he was okay.

“Jesus, (Y/N),” Hank remarked as he sat down in an empty chair. Connor pulled apart from you, planting a small kiss on the top of your head, before he took a seat as well. “You sure know how keep us waiting.”

You chuckled softly. “I apologize that I slept so long, but, you know, I was shot, after all.”

Hank smiled tenderly at you, then his eyes filled with something akin to sadness. “I’m glad you’re alright, kid.”

“Are you in any pain?” Connor asked from your left side. You looked down at your leg, covered by the thin hospital blanket, and shook your head.

“Nothing too bad,” you commented. “They must have given me really good painkillers.”

“That’s good, you’ll be able to start physical therapy soon,” Connor replied. You and Hank both raised an eyebrow at him. “The doctor recommended 3 visits a week for a month, or until good progress is made.”

“A month?” You repeated incredulously. “That seems excessive.”

“Maybe, but you need to do it,” he replied. You nodded, knowing there wasn’t anything else to do but accept it.

“The station is giving you injury leave for 6 weeks,” Hank stated, causing you to look at him. “Should be enough time for you to recover, but if you need more they’ll give it to you.”

You nodded again. Though you hated the idea of leaving work, you were at least glad you weren’t leaving in the middle of a case. Suddenly, you remembered that you technically you might still be involved in a case, considering you had no clue what happened after you were shot.

“So… considering Connor is in public, can I assume everything went well?” You asked, looking back and forth between the both of them to gauge any reaction.

“It went okay,” Connor corrected, and Hank shrugged his agreement. “After the demonstration from Markus and the androids from Jericho… they let us speak uninterrupted. I guess we did something right.”

You nodded to show you were listening. You briefly wondered if that was what the doctor meant by Connor being “from the news”.

“Everything is still… well, undecided. For now, until some sort of representation can be established, all androids are protected under the law as humans. There’s still so much more to be discussed and decided.”

“You gonna’ tell her about your ‘promotion’?” Hank asked, being playfully sarcastic. You quirked an eyebrow at him, and noticed him crack a bashful smile.

“The president requested that Markus, North, and I be the first androids to be representatives,” he admitted. Your eyes widened in surprise at that opportunity. “I’ll still be able to work at the station, of course, but there will be a lot of meetings in the coming weeks to discuss legislation.”

You felt a lump rise in your throat as your eyes brimmed with tears. A concoction of relief, joy, and hope swirled inside you as you wiped away some of the hot, stray droplets of emotion that escaped your eyes.

“I’m so happy for you,” your words were choked but still comprehendable. “This is just… amazing. You changed the world.”

Connor seemed shy about receiving such big compliments. When you made eye contact with Hank, his eye held a glint of something you recognized as pride. It was the same look he had when you solved your first case, or when you first stood up to Captain Fowler.

Hank, being one who was uncomfortable with emotion, seemed to have reached his limit. “Alright, well, might as well do something while we wait for your discharge papers,” he said as he stood up and walked over to the TV. He reached into his pocket and fished out a rectangular case. “I was able to get this from home while you were in surgery.”

Though he was somewhat far from you, there was no denying the bold red lettering and the shadowy silhouette of Tom Cruise’s face on the DVD case. You chuckled softly as he removed the Mission Impossible disk from its case, remembering back to the conversation you had with him at Stratford Tower.

“Thank god this thing still has a slot for it,” he commented as he inserted the disk into the side of the TV.

As the movie began to play, you felt Connor reach over and place his hand over yours. You responded by lacing your fingers together and gripping his hand tightly, finding comfort in his touch. Hank leaned back in his chair, his hands behind his head, as he watched the screen.  

Nothing felt better than being surrounded by the two people you loved the most. Despite being in an unfamiliar hospital room, you couldn’t have felt more at home.

[mayacatmaster]

After a hard day at the office, all Solar wants to do is put his feet up and listen to somebody “tell”(teach; preach) him what to think and how to kiss any kind of dark-tyrant-ruler’s-ass.

*** *** ***

No matter of use what kind of name…. God/holy books/religion/morality/education/country-social-family-belief-system.

*** *** ***

And…:

Me driving home from work knowing I‘m only going home to eat and sleep so I

can do it all again tomorrow

*** *** ***

microcosm-motherboard Vs. macrocosm-cityscape

That moment you realize You're just a piece of data carrying information as you move through a circuit system that has been designed to siphon your spiritual energy.

*** *** ***

And if you living in the Republic of Dog …:

And because your mindset, you already….:

You've become so service-oriented to others, that you don't take the time to care about your own comfort & satisfaction & well being.  You've got to tap into the awareness of SELF, and how important that SELF that is you is.  You have to be selfish enough to go where the good-feelings are, if it's a nap, if it's the beach, if it's this friend instead of this friend. You have to pamper yourself into alignment, and before you know it, the momentum of self-love will  crescendo to a place, that one idea after another will explode in your mind, as the entire Universe will revel in your ability to be at the right place at the right  time."  Abraham-Hicks

*** *** ***

Otherwise…:

Connection doesn’t care about the laws of the land.  Your soul will be pulled to the place it belongs.  *** *** *** The Greatness Of A Nation & Its Morale Progress Can Be Judged By  The Way their children/woman/people Are Treated. Children/woman/people not slave: not tools; not slaughtered sheep and horses or obedient robot.  *** *** *** A Nation/Social/school/Home/Religion-Moral-Group Of Sheep  Will Soon Have A  Government Of  “wolves”(dark-tyrant-ruler). ~Edward R. Murrow  *** *** *** Especially when…: Nation of sheep.  Ruled By Wolves & Tiger.  Owned By pigs. And I follow orders like a dog. It's what made me a "man"(woman; children). *** *** *** 【Ruler】: Between th frown of the tiger and smile of the wolf the flock is perished; the ruler claims himself as kind of the law, and the priest as the representative of “God”(religion-morality-belief-system), and between these two, the bodies are destroyed and souls wither into nothing. ~Gibran *** *** *** And their moral/religion/holy books/saints/country-social-family-belief-system coding by “wolves”(dark-tyrant-ruler), server for “wolves”(dark-tyrant-ruler), don’t service for people can alignment with Source and as an alignment-deliberate-creator. *** *** *** Mindset.  It's all about mindset.  From the moment you wake up, to the moment you rest your head at night. Everything is up to you.  Your emotions, your thoughts, your perceptions, your reactions.  Every moment.  *** *** *** The Matrix Is Real It Exists Inside The Minds Of The Masses Through Social Cultural Political, Educational & Religious/morality-belief-system Indoctrination *** *** *** My dear Facebook friend, are you living in Republic of Dog or Republic of Cat??? *** *** *** In Republic of Dog …: those Kiss-Ass-morals-religion-rules-box-standards-Law. They caught all the wild children, and put them in man-made-law-zoos,  They made them do sums and wear kiss-ass shoes.  *** *** *** No matter of in a country, in a home, in a personal-belief-system. They made them kiss dark-tyrant-ruler’s-ass behave and please those ruler.  Those wild children, wisdom and wildness away.  That's why there are none in the In Republic of Dog can living their life just like cat today.  *** *** *** So…: There is a grain of Gold-sand in one’s eye, Look at everything, turning upside down. *** *** *** It is same If…: There is a grain of Kiss-Ass-morals-religion-rules-box-standards-Law-sand in one’s heart-eye, Look at everything, Contrary to alignment with their Source and as an alignment-deliberate-creator, just run in the opposite direction. *** *** *** Those wild children, wisdom and wildness away, …: So can not living their life just like cat today.  Can not feel free to be themselves,  Can not feel free to be natural, to be free, They just can be forced by those Kiss-Ass-morals-religion-rules-box-standards-Law, And pull and push and manipulate by those dark-tyrant-ruler. *** *** *** No matter of in a country, in a home, in a personal-belief-system. No matter of in a religion/moral/country-social-education-family-belief-system. *** *** *** Mindset.  It's all about mindset.  From the moment you wake up, to the moment you rest your head at night. Everything is up to you.  Your emotions, your thoughts, your perceptions, your reactions.  Every moment.  *** *** *** And…: The ideas of pain-all pain: mental pain, spiritual pain, emotional pain, physical pain-all forms of what you call pain are the result of resistance of Your Natural Self. Pain is friction, to put it on a simple terminology.  Resisting the Natural Flow of Yourself as an aspect of the Infinite.  ~channeled by Darryl Anka [Pain]  And usually this resistance occurs when, having been brought up in the society you have been brought up in, you have been fed, and bought into, definitions of limitation. So that in trying to live out these definitions that are not necessary representative of Who You really Are, you are going against Your Grain... And going against the Grain gives you splinters. ~Bashar *** *** *** So…: If minorities prefer Republic of Dog those Kiss-Ass-morals-religion-rules-box-standards-Law, then we advise them to go to those Republic of Dog places where that's the kiss-ass-law.  Republic of Cat does not need minorities.  Minorities need Republic of Cat, and we will not grant them special privileges, or try to change “our laws”(those can alignment with Source and as an alignment-deliberate-creator) to fit their desires, no matter how loud they yell 'discrimination" —Maya Cat *** *** *** In our Republic of Cat….: To be liberated, woman must feel free to be herself ,  not in rivalry to man but in the context of her own capacity and her personality  - Indira Gandhi *** *** *** So…In our Republic of Cat….: To be liberated, woman must feel free to be herself ,  not according to those Kiss-Ass-morals-religion-rules-box-standards to living through their whole life. *** *** *** So…In our Republic of Cat….: It's OK to pretend we're Irish on St. Patrick's Day. We pretend we re GOOD on Christmas don't we? *** *** *** But…In Republic of Dog….: Those Who Do Not Think Outside The Kiss-Ass-morals-religion-rules-box-standards Are Easily Contained. *** *** *** And…In Republic of Dog….: Those only teach/preach/indoctrinate children/woman/people kiss ass by blind obey are such hypocrites.  *** *** *** They pretend to have morals-religion-rules-box-standards, feelings and a conscience but they possess none of these.  *** *** *** Because they are not, ….: Help children/woman/people to be natural, help children/people to be free, help children/woman/people to be themselves, and never try to force anybody, pull and push and manipulate.  *** *** *** Because they are not, ….: Help children/woman/people can alignment with their “Source”(True Self; Tao) and as alignment-deliberate-creator. *** *** *** They will lie, insult, cheat, abuse and disrespect you, but in return they will expect fidelity, respect and all your time and energy spent on them.  *** *** *** They can do whatever they want, whenever they want, but you are to remain loyal children/woman/people and perfect children/woman/people according to their morals-religion-rules-box-standards at all times.  *** *** *** This isn't healthy; it's toxic and definitely not love  *** *** *** So…In Republic of Dog….: If I make a fool of myself, who cares? I'm not frightened by anyone's perception of me. ~Angelina Jolie *** *** *** In Republic of Dog….: The world is going to judge you no matter what you do, so live your life the way you want to. *** *** *** ,, To be free of all authority, of your own and that of another is to die to everything of yesterday, so that your mind is always fresh, always young, innocent, full of vigor and passion. It is only in that state that one learns and observes.... " *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** Via and thanks “Iwona Antolak”: *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** Otherwise…In Republic of Dog….: I am asking you Kiss my ass to prove your worthiness, I offer you my opinions that you should be kiss my ass, just because use the name tag of ...: *** *** ***  And kiss my ass it’s your inevitable fate, duty and the obligation born as a mankind. *** *** ***  And you must take this dog’s chain as a kind of naturally, take this dog’s chain for granted and said it’s the golden rule of the world! 並且把那條狗鍊子視之為理所當然、天經地義的金科玉律！ *** *** *** And if you want to know About Chiang Kai-shek, Mao Zedong, the Emperor of Japan, North Korea's leader, Adolf Hitler, Stalin, Fascism where they come from??? Well, they all come from Republic of Dog, if you know. *** *** *** @@@ *** @@@ *** @@@ *** @@@ Get a notebook, call it "My Life Story", and you begin writing Chapter 1: "My Life Story Relative to “Abundance”(freedom; health; peace-joy-well being; Youth-health-beauty-vitality).." And you just fabricate a fabulous fairy tale that is pleasing to you, and you say : "This is the new me!" ~AH @@@ *** @@@ *** @@@ *** @@@ “Student”(solar): “My...Master, why the Blind-Obey-dog007 escape from Republic of Dog come to our home?”; *** *** *** "Master"（Mr. Bean）:“Well, maybe you need direct ask him? “ *** *** *** “Student”(solar): “My dear Blind-Obey-dog007 may I ask why you escape from Republic of Dog, ...why?”; *** *** *** Blind-Obey-dog007: “Well, my dear solar, because….:  I don’t want kill another.  I don’t want steal another home.  I don’t want set fire another home .  I don’t want bomb another home.  I don’t want lie or cheat another home.  I don’t want invade another home.  …: *** *** *** “Student”(solar): “ Such behavior is so well being, so health, so good deed, so nice virtue, why you need escape from Republic of Dog, ...why?”; *** *** *** Blind-Obey-dog007: “Because disobeyed the Republic of Dog orders, so I must be die, be killed by the law of Republic of Dog, if I want to live, I must escape from Republic of Dog.” *** *** *** “Student”(solar): “ Well, what you said freak my mind , How weird it is if one humankind….  don’t want kill, don’t want steal, don’t want set fire, don’t want bomb, don’t want lie or cheat, don’t want invade another… then he must be die, ...why?”; *** *** *** Blind-Obey-dog007: “Because the ruler in our Republic of Dog said: “We”(dog) are good and “they”(cat) are bad, always!  *** *** *** So, they must be kiss our dog-ass, by blind-obey, blind-follow. *** *** *** Otherwise…: There can be no peace until they renounce their Cat-God and accept our Dog-God. *** *** *** There can be no peace until they renounce their Cat-man-made-moral-religion-belief-system and accept our Dog-man-made-moral-religion-belief-system. *** *** *** And in our Republic of Dog: Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation. ~Qscar Wilde *** *** *** So if I want be a Survivor, I must be escape from Republic of Dog.” *** *** *** @@@ *** @@@ *** @@@ *** @@@ The greatest gift you can give yourself is freedom from what others think. -ABRAHAM *** *** *** The only reason that someone seeks acknowledgment approval from Someone outside of True self, is because they are not feeling it from within and they  have a "void" that they are trying to fill.  If the way you feel hinges upon anything outside of you - you're in trouble!  But if the way you feel depends only upon your connection With your  own Inner Being - over which you have absolute control - then everything in  your experience falls into adjustment. ~Abråham-Hicks  *** *** *** So…: There's no rule that says I have to live life Like everyone else. *** *** *** We do not encourage anyone to move toward anything that feels uncomfortable. If you cannot find a way to feel ease as you are beginning your investigation of anything,  we do not encourage proceeding. The emotions that you feel are your guidance indicating your Energy alignment. Proceeding in any direction that feels uncomfortable means there is contradiction in your own Energy field and that is not good for you. There is never only one path to your truth. If one path feels wrong to you, choose another. No pursuit of any knowledge is worth your own Energy misalignment. ~ Abraham-Hicks ~ *** *** *** And…: I am so wild, sexy and crazy just like blowing wind, no form, no name, ...can not contain in any man-made-laws. *** *** *** And …: You don't really know someone until you say "NO" to them. ~Andy Garcia  *** *** *** Because…: Those Who Do Not Think Outside The Kiss-Ass-morals-religion-rules-box-standards Are Easily Contained. *** *** *** And If…: There is a grain of Gold-sand in one’s eye, Look at everything, turning upside down. *** *** *** So it same ...If…: There is a grain of Kiss-Ass-morals-religion-rules-box-standards-Law-sand in one’s heart-eye, Look at everything, Contrary to alignment with their Source and as an alignment-deliberate-creator, just run in the opposite direction. *** *** *** And if …: You Are Still Attached To Your Religion, Your Color, Or The Country You Were Born In, Then You Still Don't Know Who And What You Truly Are.  *** *** *** If You Believe Everything You're Told Without Question  You Are Successfully Brainwashed. *** *** *** Now…: Busy fixing shit I thought was normal behavior as a child.  Now that I'm older, I've realized it was toxic af. Now I have to reprogram my brain so I don't continue that toxic cycle.  *** *** *** So….: Rule number 1:  Fuck what they think.  *** *** *** Follow the force that is guiding the whole universe is in you.  Pledge allegiance to your "Source"(God; True Self; Tao; Logos),  everything is done! ~Huangdi Yinfujing 「觀天之道，執天之行，盡矣！」: 黃帝陰符經； *** *** *** You are never along or helpless. The force that is guiding the whole universe is in you too! *** *** *** Those who flow as "Life"(Tao; True Self; Source) flows know they need no other force. ~Lao tzu *** *** *** You have all the intelligence within you. TRUST, ALLOW and only listen to your own HEART! *** *** *** Use your own light and return to the Source of "Light"(Tao; True Self; Wisdom of Universal). This is called practicing eternity. ~Lao Tzu *** *** *** Always listen to your own heart, even if it is against what your family, society, culture of religion is telling you! *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** Thanks for “ONEness” *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** Because…: **It is up to you to accept those ideas that you choose to accept, and reject those that you do not.  * * You are not powerless before ideas.  * * Throw out ideas that do not suit you. ~@SethSpeaks1  *** *** ***  When shoes fit, forget foot;  when girdle fit, forget waist:  when methods fit, forget minds;  that shows the "Suitability"(alignment with "Source) of the heart (for the question). ~Zhuangzi *** *** *** Those in alignment Follow the order of "Source"(Tao；True Self；Logos), they Follow the way of "Source"(Tao；True Self；Logos), they Follow the timing of "Source"(Tao；True Self；Logos) and they Follow the design of "Source"(Tao；True Self；Logos).  They are calm; They are clear;  They are real. Having arrived at the "Root"(Tao；True Self；Brahman),  They are never confused by the branches. *** *** *** The "Source"(Tao; Maat；Logos) has always been same, in ancient and modern, in east and west, in any time-space. *** *** *** The rightness of "Source"(Tao；True Self；Logos) is "No Artificial-Rightness", but itself can be everyone's rightness. The order of "Source"(Tao；True Self；Logos) is "No Artificial-Order", but itself can be everyone's order. The law of "Source"(Tao；True Self；Logos) is "No Artificial-Law", but itself can be everyone's law. The goodness of "Source"(Tao；True Self；Logos) is "No Artificial-Goodness", but itself can be everyone's goodness. *** *** *** The goodness of "Source"(Tao；True Self；Logos),  can help you watching & witness your own 3D-life-movie, regard it as other people's 3D-life-movie,  can help you watching & witness your own self, regard it as other people's self, can help you get rid of painful, get sweet fruits, realized "True Self"(Tao；Brahman). *** *** ***  Too often~~~! People get caught up in how things "should be"(what parents, teachers, priests, kings, holy books said:"you should be~~~~!"),  and forget to live their lives,  and forget their "True Self"(Tao；God). *** *** *** Too often~~~! Everyone tells you what to do and what's good for you. They don't want you go find your own answers.  They want you to believe theirs. ~Socrates *** *** ***  But,~~~! If you live for people's acceptance, you will die from their rejection. *** *** ***  *Under construction*  Busy fixing shit I thought was normal behavior as a child. Now that I'm older, I've realized it was toxic af. Now i have to reprogram my brain so I don't continue that toxic cycle.  *** *** ***

[callmedewitt]

First line meme

RULES: List the openings of the last ten stories you published. Look to see if there are any patterns that you notice yourself, and see if anyone else notices any! Then tag some friends.

Got tagged by the always amazing @thescarletgarden1990. I don’t have 10 stories but I’ll throw in the ones I have, and a sneak peek at the next chapter of one of them.

“The Dragons Will Rise”

The Dorninsh sun was blistering on Arthur’s face as he squinted to look at the Tower of Joy. As he sat with his brothers they couldn’t help but feel a sense of dread weighing upon them. And it started in the early morning of the day when the Wild She Wolf of the North had begun showing signs of an early birth. After the news of losing her beloved Dragon sadness, stress and worry for the future started to sadly chip away. The only thing that brought her hope was the babe in her belly. And this child according to Rhaegar was to be the third head of the dragon and with this child would bring a new dawn for Westeros. Arthur doesn’t particularly believe in any prophecy’s but if having to leave his King and friend to an early and undeserving death he would.

“What is it to Live?”

He was running, running so fast no one could catch up to him. He was in the city of Winterfell again. A simple mining city nothing extravagant, but it was his home, or whatever exactly home meant.He had his favorite toy wolf clutched in his hand as tight as eight year old could hold. He was still running for however long until he ran through the front door of his house, or really where he was allowed to stay. He remembers his father, and mother dying, but he was so young it’s still fuzzy, much like this was becoming. His brothers, and sisters were taken to a different part of the world, he still doesn’t know where they are, but they’re most likely dead now. Like everyone else.

“His Mother’s Ring”

“Damn it.” He muttered to himself in his apartment.

He couldn’t even get a role for a commercial. It’s times like this he questions what the hell he’s even doing. He went to school to be an actor, he was in a couple of plays but nothing came after it.

He knows he shouldn’t be acting like this, but being told no to a simple fucking commercial about another smartphone coming out eats away at you no matter how hard you try to fight it.

He’s 26 now and this dream of his has been there in his mind ever since he could remember. Most kids liked playing outside and hanging out with friends, but he liked sitting down in a movie theater to watch a film and escape from the world for a couple of hours.

Even going to rent a movie for him and his dad to watch after he got home from school was also a favorite of his.

Dad. Every time he thinks about him his heart breaks a little. He was the only one who really understood him. He had friends but every time they would bring a movie up, he would go on to long tirades about them and after an undisclosed amount of time of his rambling they would either stare at him or laugh it off and not bring that up again. Not dad though, he wasn’t even passionate about them, but every time he would ramble on and on he had a sense of wonder in his eyes. When he asked him one day why he had that look he laughed and said

“My son has a dream, and that dream reminds me of someone. Someone who would be so proud of you.”

“This Love is Forbidden”

“Alright does anyone want to be creative?” An annoyed voice broke through the silence in the small studio.

“You know being creative can’t just be turned on.” Came the reply from the man with the bass in hand.

“Well someone needs to turn it on, because we’re not doing shit standing around here looking good.” The annoyed voice said while twirling a drumstick in his right hand.

“Did you just you just say we looked good?” The voice of one of the guitarists questioned.

“Well more like myself, but me being here makes you all look a little better.”

Getting his head out his notebook and rolling his eyes, the lead singer demanded “Can you guys shut up? And not insult each other for a day?”

“Damn Jon what’s got you in this mood?”

“Well, you, to be exact.” Gendry said while tuning his bass.

“And you were late today, so that started his piss poor mood.” Robb said sitting down on the old brown couch with his guitar still strapped to him.

Looking mortified Theon got up and placed his drumsticks down “You know I’m not evil. I know I’m an acquired taste, but I think that makes me even more special.”

Robb snorted “You? Special? Yeah you’re special alright.”

Pointing to his ears, Theon shouted “I can hear you!”

Laughing, Gendry replied “We all can. Do you think that’s supposed to stop us? Theon, my friend, sometimes you can be a cunt.”

Even Jon laughed a little at that one.

“Oh that’s funny? Well how about this. I know why you’re in one of your moods.”

Putting his pen down he looked up at Theon “And what is that… cunt?”

Shaking his head Theon continued “You get like that every time you don’t see her.”

“And who is her?” He asked growing annoyed.

Smiling that nasty grin, Theon replied “Dany.”

Looking down at his notebook he cringed. Anytime someone brought her up, he got this weird feeling, like he was floating and she was the only thing keeping him down. These feelings haven't always been there.

Sneak peek! Jon’s mouth then went to her breasts, and the moan escaping her couldn’t be stopped. The attention given to the hard peaks of her breast was maddening, and it seemed Jon was enjoying this sweet torture he was giving her. Finally unlatching that mouth from her, he then went to work on getting his pants off. “Get these off now.” She demanded and that devilish smirk he gave her sent another wave of ecstasy through her. Putting a shaky hand on his abdomen she wondered when the hell this man went to the gym, and why had she not noticed until now. He seemed to be sculpted by some god... sculpted just for her.

Conclusion? It seemed I liked starting without dialogue, but now I seem to do, and it also seems I’ve gotten dirtier with every story I write lol. I also fucking love writing from Jon’s POV.

Thanks for the tag @thescarletgarden1990! I’ll tag @tomakeitbeautifultolive @minmeemaw @northernlights37 @phoebemaybe and anyone else I can’t think of lol.

[foxgraphics325]

Divinity 2 How To Remove Collar

The quest gives you a perk in exchange for -2 con. By far the best perk is the idol of rebirth which revives a character once upon death and can be recharged by a resurrect scroll. What is little known is that you can pickpocket the idol of rebirth before doing the quest. (2017) Divinity Original Sin 2 How to remove Source Collars - FOR DONATIONS: Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/RPGDivision. https://foxgraphics325.tumblr.com/post/654434163888406528/body-model-sketch.

There are 2 ways to remove your source collars in Act l. - 1st way can be done really early but only works for your main character by winning the undergound arena in Fort Joy. The hatch is located in Griff's Kitchen. After winning the battle , you can talk to Nebora , the female merchant sits next to Fort Joy main entrance. She will remove the collar for you. - 2nd way works for everyone in the party but you have to first escape Fort Joy , find the Seeker Hideout then help them looking for thier lost leader , Gareth. Once Gareth is brought back , you can talk to Leya , she sits just next to the statue of goddess Amadia. She'll remove your party source collars.

Divinity 2 How To Remove Collar Light

Divinity Original Sin 2 How To Remove Collar From Party Members

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Divinity Original Sin 2 Wiki

Note: This is ONLY to be used to report spam, advertising, and problematic (harassment, fighting, or rude) posts. Otherwise, you can remove the collar and get thrown into the prison as a way to escape. Join Our Newsletter and keep up to date on the latest from HyperX. I made two custom characters but only one of them received that tag. There are 2 ways to remove your source collars in Act l. - 1st way can be done really early but only works for your main character by winning the undergound arena in Fort Joy. It lets you equip a neck piece, so if you don't mind magisters attacking on sight it does offer a slight benefit. I got it removed, but then that turned the rest of my island experience into Magister murder time - though I think it would become that anyway once they see you sneaking into the fort. Removing your Source Collar isn’t a twostep process that ends early in the game. Champion tag? I returned his amulet to Leya at the sanctuary to remove the rest of my party´s collars, but now she won´t speak to me .. Help me please remove collars bugged! Once you’ve finished the combat trial, speak with The Thorny One again. Only that person gets the dialogue to remove the collar. All trademarks are property of their respective owners in the US and other countries. If you become the champion of the arena, you can convince her to take your collar off (only the main character). In this playthrough, when I won the area, the NPC said to me 'Wow you keep winning again and again' which was weird as technically this was my first time.? Divinity: Original Sin 2. Once you’ve saved Garteh, return to Leya and speak with her once more at the Sanctuary of Amadia. All trademarks are property of their respective owners in the US and other countries. At this point, head out of the arena and look for Nebora, a woman near several Blacksmith tools in the Fort Joy area. I already have two other ways to get in there. Removing Your Main Source Collar To get Nebora to remove your personal Source Collar, you must first become Arena champion. I suppose it is the one who talked to the arena master starting the fight. Travel with your party to the Ruined Castle in the Hollow Marshes to the north. L. Joined: Oct 2017 Posts: 4: … Starting out on the Super Nintendo with Super Mario World, and ending up in the world of next-generation gaming. I am not ready or have no intention of taking on the entire fort. The quest gives you a perk in exchange for -2 con. In my last playthrough, I won the arena and Nebora removed my collar for me. Instead, go around and climb the vines on the south side to scale the wall and reach the upper level of the castle ruins. This site uses cookies to provide enhanced features and functionality. The first thing you need to do to remove your Source Collar is make your way into the kitchen at Fort Job. To remove your personal character’s Source Collar in Divinity: Original Sin 2, you must complete the quest titled The Collar, which you should have acquired upon starting the game. Starting point The Hold. Head to the Camp Kitchen in Fort Joy and go outside. The hatch is located in Griff's Kitchen. Nebora is offering to after winning in the Arena. Having that happen to that character might turn out to be a good thing, so just roll with it ;), Fixed the issue :D I simply plugged in a second controller, chose to challenge a member of my party (lockpie hoe) and beat my friends to death, now I am pogchamp :D. Note: This is ONLY to be used to report spam, advertising, and problematic (harassment, fighting, or rude) posts. In fact, it’s going to take you a good few hours to reach the point where you can actually remove your Source Collar and start throwing around magic spells. don't be too worried about only your mule getting the collar removed. Why would you want to do that? After winning the arena combat trial, return to The Thorny One. All rights reserved. NOTE: If Lohse's collar is already removed (after the Blacksmith Nebora removes it for Lohse's winning of the Arena match), then you won't be given the option from the dwarf Duggan to persuade Leya to remove your (and your party's) collar even if … Not Four. He holds a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Creative Writing for Entertainment. In this article we’ll walk you through how to remove your Source Collar in Divinity: Original Sin 2, which will allow you to start casting spells upon your enemies once more. So I have ecided not to take her up on her offer. Source Collars prevent your ability to utilize Source magic, limiting your true potential in combat. Attributes, combat skills, civil skills, talents, tags. During this sequence, Gareth will be in combat with another group, and you’ll need to fight off all of the Magisters and speak to Gareth. Nebora is a NPC in Divinity: Original Sin 2. Nebora information. Español - Latinoamérica (Spanish - Latin America). Español - Latinoamérica (Spanish - Latin America). Josh has been exploring fantastic worlds and getting lost in video games for as long as he can remember. Make sure the character that is talking to Nebora have the Champion of the Arena tag. © Valve Corporation. Once you’re outside again, pass through the Camp Kitchen and locate Nebora’s tent down the steps just beyond the Shrine. For a visual walkthrough on how to remove all Source Collars from your party members in Divinity: Original Sin 2, check out this tutorial video from RPG Division. Depending on your level, and what quest lines you have developed. The hotfix addresses a number of player-reported issues. Help! Note: This is ONLY to be used to report spam, advertising, and problematic (harassment, fighting, or rude) posts. You won't find a source point till after the fort and there isn't much in between the fort and where you can get the collars removed from everyone (and the entire fort aggros you after the fort anyway). Other potential party members will have their own Source Collars as well. All Discussions Screenshots Artwork Broadcasts Videos Workshop News Guides Reviews. Should I remove the collar while still in the Fort. Larryn is a full-time editor who has written guides and editorial features for various gaming websites. To remove your personal character’s Source Collar in Divinity: Original Sin 2, you must complete the quest titled The Collar, which you should have acquired upon starting the game. All rights reserved. 09 Apr 2020 19:28 . Follow these steps to remove the Source Collars from your party in Divinity: Original Sin 2. Removing Collars early (Potential Spoilers). Note: This is ONLY to be used to report spam, advertising, and problematic (harassment, fighting, or rude) posts. In my last playthrough, I won the arena and Nebora removed my collar for me. And all the NPC's spam WHERES YOUR COLLAR? Only if you are ready to be sneaky or fight. Nebora is offering to. Make sure that Gareth is not killed during the fight. The camp is past Fort Joy, which means you've already escaped, possibly have access to source, and all magisters at the prison are hostile. Leya Fort Joy. Divinity: Original Sin 2 > General Discussions > Topic Details. The opportunity to remove the Source Collars off the rest of your party members will come much later in the game, after you have escaped from Fort Joy. In this article we’ll walk you through how to remove your Source Collar in Divinity: Original Sin 2, which will allow you to start casting spells upon your enemies once more. You won't really be rolling in any kind of source points to use your skill until you exit the fort anyway, so no rush to get it off. How to Remove Your Source Collar . There's literally no reason to. unless you make some RP reason to, I suppose. To do this, you’re going to need to be prepared to go a bit further into the game, after you have escaped Fort Joy.

How To Remove Collar In Divinity 2

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[spacekru-sass]

the ice king’s queen (V)

A story based on a dream I had of a character set in season 4. But every character has their journey to take, their backstory that tells how they got to where and who they were. And with the hiatus til Season 5? We’ve got time to make up

part 1   part 2  part 3 part 4   Part 6

tag list: @lovelynerdytraveler@mischievousweasleys@floralfangurl @p3nny4urth0ught5

I LOVE LOVE LOVE FEEDBACK so please don’t hesitate to tell me what you love, what you don’t love, what you hope to see for this character! Feedback keeps me in touch with the reader and we all want to succeed, right? I want you to read a good story, which keeps me writing because you’re happy! <3

The next few days, Avie spent beside Raven. She knew her way around mechanics from her father and Raven was thrilled to have someone who was as knowledgeable as her around. She constantly jumped with joy that she had a second brain to tap into and the two had become fast friends. It was refreshing to have a break from Bellamy.

She didn’t know how to talk to him and he’d kept his distance respectfully. She had had nothing to live for when she’d slept with that guard for Bellamy’s freedom. She wasn’t ashamed, she was more hurt that she’d tried so hard to protect him and he found his way to this dropship on his own. Then again, he may have not have made it here if it hadn’t been for her.

After they’d watched the rockets launch into the air, everyone was cheering gleefully in hope. She stood between Clarke and Raven, watching anxiously as they approached higher and higher into the sky. Bellamy approached Clarke’s other side and she ignored his presence, walking back to her tent to get some rest. A few hours past and the flaps of her tent were ripped open.

“Hey,” she yelled, covering her chest instinctively as she glanced up at the source of light beaming into her tent. Bellamy and his worried expression. “Bellamy, I don’t want to--,”

“I know that but,” he paused and glanced behind her. “Have you seen O?”

“She’s probably chasing butterflies Bellamy,” Avie laid back down and closed her eyes.

“I checked, I can’t find her Avie,” Bellamy insisted again, sounding desperate. Avie’s eyes snapped open. A deep breath and a silence glance pushed her up onto her knees as she slid her jacket over her tank top, cap on head as she stepped out of her tent.

“Alright, I’ll help you look for her, but don’t think I’m doing this for you. Octavia is important to me.” she murmured. She may have been angry with Bellamy, but she would do anything for O. Bellamy nodded solemnly before the two split up, Avie checking the tents as Bellamy went to check the dropship floors. With no luck, they gathered a group to go find Octavia. Avie stood by Jasper, heading off into the woods as everyone glanced up, noticing the stars in the sky.

“That’s not a meteor shower, that’s a funeral,” Clarke breathed out, glancing to Raven. “They didn’t get our message.” Avie gasped out, covering her mouth as she glanced at Clarke. They headed into the woods, Bellamy sliding down to find Octavia’s things hanging from a branch. She glanced at the group, then to Jasper and Finn before stepping forward to slid down as well.

Bellamy’s hand dripped of blood as she approached and Avie had to close her eyes for a moment, shutting out the worst outcomes. Finn and Jasper quickly followed, noticing the footprints. “If they took her she’s alive,” Jaspar insisted, “Like when they took me.”

They continued down the path, approaching skeltons strung from the trees. “I don't speak Grounder... But I'm pretty sure this means keep out,” Finn mumbled and Avie glanced up at him.

“Wrong time, Finn, wrong time,” Avie whispered before readjusting her cap, lowering it over her eyes.

“Go back if you want. My sister, my responsibility,” Bellamy swallowed and pressed forward through the bodies. She moved instinctively forward to match his pace, his eyes glancing to her in surprise.

“I'd walk into hell to find her,” Avie replied with a curt nod, “Though I think we just did,” she glanced around at their location.

           She remembered the first time Bellamy introduced her to Octavia. They were hanging out on day in his home when he whispered in her ear that he had a secret he needed to share with her. She remembered giggling, her young thoughts fogging her mind. But when he pulled away from her and pushed the center table away, Avie’s eyebrows had knitted in confusion.

His hands had gripped the latch on the floor and pulled it open to reveal a small girl scrunched up on a makeshift bed on the floor. Her eyes widened brightly and she glanced between Avie and Bellamy as she awaited the older girl’s response.

“Who--,”

“Avie, this is my sister Octavia,” Bellamy slowly spoke, holding his hand out for Octavia to come out from her hiding spot. “O, say hello to Avie.” Octavia stepped forward and held out her hand, a small hello escaping her lips. Avie stared at her hand momentarily, unsure of how to react as she looked at the young freckled boy.

“I like your hat,” O whispered.

This was illegal and yet, Avie found herself wrapping her arms tightly around Octavia’s small frame. Octavia rested her head on Avie’s shoulder, her own arms wrapped around her as she giggled. Avie had been closer to Octavia’s age and the two became sisters quickly, Bellamy bringing her home often so that O had someone feminine and her age to talk with. The two often whispered about the big brother behind his back and he’d never been able to catch their conversations.

They’d stalked their way through the forest and it was already light out. They’d lost John, killed aimlessly by a grounder in a tree. They were surrounded. “We should run,” Finn mumbled as they took off through the woods, rushing along as the grounders caught up, arrows flying at them. Another of the 100 was impaled from a tripwire and Avie almost threw up as she moved past him. They followed Roma and she fell to her knees when she saw her lying dead on a rock, spear sticking out of her chest. She emptied the contents from her stomach onto the Earth’s surface, hands pulling her up, making her scream out.

Over the years, Bellamy had grown into his own, broad shoulders, long torso, strong hands, but he still had freckles speckled across his cheeks like constellations that Avie had mapped in her fellowship. She remembered staring out the window one day with a sketch book, Bellamy slumped beside her, biting loudly into an apple.

“Bellamy Blake, do you mind?” she asked, turning to glance at him. He grinned stupidly and swallowed before taking another large bite. The sight of her was adorable, her cap turned backward, a small tuft of hair sticking out the adjustable hole.

“Listen Hummingbird, I’m bored. What can I say?” he asked, his elbow resting on her shoulder as she leaned away from him playfully and glanced back out the window. “What are you looking for again?”

“Polaris,” she said, and turned to read from the old textbook she was researching, “Polaris, commonly the North Star or Pole Star, is the brightest star in the constellation of Ursa Minor. It is very close to the north celestial pole, making it the current northern pole star. It was supposed to help hikers find their way home,” she turned to look at him only to see he pretended to fall asleep. “I hate you,” she mumbled, pushing him as he began to chuckle, lifting his head at her.

It was only two weeks later when he showed up at her door and handed her a navy-blue mask on the day of the Unity Day dance. Octavia was stood on the other side of the room, clad in her own mask, excitedly exploring a room outside of her own. “I figured you could wear this instead of your hat for once,” he insisted, a bright smile appearing on his lips as your fingers grazed the hard plaster.

“You don’t like my hat?” you asked flirtatiously, removing your cap and placing it on your bed as he adjusted his uniform. He glanced down to look at her dress, Octavia scoffed and rolled her eyes at her big brother.

“I just thought you might match better this way,” he said, turning her as his fingertips tied the ribbon knot gently. She turned back to look at him and place the hat back on her head, “Well, you’re in luck because I can wear both,” she blew an air kiss to him and nudged him out of the way, locking arms with O and heading to the dance.

Bellamy heard your hurls, moving forward quickly to take in you and Roma’s dead body. He closed her eyes, pulling her up as a few grounders rushed you again, stumbling into each other. You braced yourselves as a horn began to blow. “Acid fog,” Finn pulled out a tent, “There’s no time.”

           They danced for a long time, enjoying the freedom of being out in the open together. Everything went south quickly though when there was a solar flare alert and the lights flashed on. “Masks off, I.D. Chips out,” one of the guards yelled out.

“We need to get you to Bellamy,” Avie insisted, moving to Bellamy’s side. “Bell, scan my chip and then you can get her out of her, I’ll create a distraction.” He shook his head and pulled out his weapon, ready to make his own distraction

“Octavia, get home,” he insisted but she looked up in fear.

“Bellamy, I don’t know how to get home.”

“Cadet Blake. Why is your weapon out?” he asked as Bellamy scanned your I.D. chip quickly, weapon at his side. He turned to look at O, “Mask off,” he said.

“Sir, she’s fine, I’ve already scanned her,” Bellamy insisted as Avie pulled your mask off and looked to the two siblings.

“You don’t have a scanner,” the guard demanded and Avie lunged forward, attacking the man to give Octavia time to run, but it was too late. She was caught by two guards blocking the entry way.

“Let her go!” Avie screamed, being pulled off the man. She struggled in their arms, fighting to get to Octavia who was being dragged off. A shockwave moved through her body, making her go limp and stop resisting.

“Take her to the Box,” the guard insisted and the last look she got of Bellamy was a horrified expression before your eyes closed and she’d past out.

           When they finally crawled out from under the tent, they noticed a grounder sprinting through the woods. “We need to follow them,” Bellamy said, “They may lead him right to Octavia,” he said, taking off after the grounder.

           “Bellamy,” she yelled, taking off after him. They found an entrance to a cave, following the path until they found Octavia, chained to a wall, a grounder at her feet with blood on his head. Avie watched at the two embraced. “Get the key,” Octavia said and Avie leaned down, grasping the metal and moving to unlock her from the cuffs.

“You came,” Octavia whispered and Avie wrapped her arms around the shaking girl.

“I had to make up for not being able to save you the first time, right?” the two chuckled.

“Hummingbird always finds a way,” Octavia insisted and this time, Avie shook her head.

“This was all Bell, he’s the brave one,” Avie glanced up to Bellamy who’d been standing over them, watching their moment quietly. Octavia stood, collapsing into her big brother’s arms, hugging him tightly again.

“We should go, now before the Grounder wakes up,” Avie hastily looked down at the man and back to Bellamy who grabbed a staff from the wall. Avie bent down next to Finn, admiring the horn across the man’s chest, when he suddenly came to. His hand swiped across the space in front of both Avie and Finn. Finn pushed Avie out of the way, as the knife found its home in Finn’s stomach.

“Finn!” she gasped, bending down to help him as Bellamy fought off the man. Octavia screaming for him to stop when Jaspar suddenly smacked him on the head, knocking him out cold. She’d never run so fast, moving ahead to get Clarke’s help. After Finn was moved inside, she turned to check on Octavia, watching Bellamy fight with her.

“Mom was floated for having you. She's dead because you're alive. That was her choice. I didn't have a choice. My life ended the day you were born,” he screamed out, grabbing her hand. She whispered something Avie couldn’t hear before stocking past her.

“O,” she called but Octavia shook her off. Avie’s gaze returned to Bellamy. She merely shook her head at him, disappointed. He scoffed in return, pointing to the dropship.

“Get inside.”

[hirakdesherrani]

Break: A Svetlana/Gauri (SvetRi) story

*This is pile of trash. I’m no writer, this is just the result of some major frustration, because I made the mistake of reading the episode updates. Hopefully, after this I’ll get the monkey of IB off my back*

Tired. Yes, that’s what she was feeling. Weary, exhausted, worn-out. Not from physical work, though planning a wedding could be tiring. No, it was something else. Not some things, many things. Oh, so many things, so many thoughts, which she had been keeping at bay, just surrounded her this morning. So, once the morning drama was done, she surreptitiously made her way out of the Oberoi Mansion. Its not like someone would notice. And that was part of the problem.

She believed that her Shakarji was always with her, wherever she went. Still, the thought of visiting the temple always made her happy. After all, she practically grew up in the environs of the big temple in Bareilly. So, here she was leaning on the pillar in one corner of the Shiv temple, sitting down and contemplating her fate.

Why today of all days she felt the strong urge to commune with God she didn’t know. Maybe because two days hence it would be one year of her marriage to Omkaraji, the man Shankarji had chosen for her. Or maybe because yesterday, he disappeared for the whole night but he did not think it was important to inform his wife where he went or why.

Gauri was no fool; she knew this had something to do with Bade Bhaiyaa and Bhaujaai’s plan. Of course, Omkara ji and Rudy Bhaiyaa were part of it. Some part of Gauri’s mind was relieved that she wasn’t a part of this silly plan, which involved her Bhaujaai dressing up as a woman from the village. She told herself that its alright that they didn’t include her in their plans, Bade Bhaiyaa, Bhaujaai, Omkara ji and Rudy Bhaiyaa knew each other from way back and they had a much older, stronger bond.

But a stronger voice told her that it was wrong on Omkaraji’s part to hide things from her. To treat like she was till a stranger in his life. The other woman. Suddenly a memory flashed in front of her eyes: Omkaraji accusing her of having an affair with Ajay, because of those unexplained disappearances. Those periods when she used to attend English classes secretly. Yesterday, he disappeared for an entire night. What should she make of that? What should she make of all those times when he disappeared without telling her? Should she also suspect him of cheating on her?

She knew that he was planning with his brothers and sister-in-law, but he didn’t know that she knew. Wasn’t it his duty to tell her? Or did he expect her to understand him without telling her anything? She couldn’t believe this was happening to her again. Again the burden was on her to understand him, only this time she did understand him, she knew he was doing it for his family, but why couldn’t he tell her? Just for once talk to her.

Gauri was feeling miserable now. Not that she had been feeling anything else since she returned from Bareilly. One after the other, some new issue had been unfolding. She had lost count of what all happened since she returned. Not that there hadn’t been any moments of joy, but they were too far and few between. She longed to share her feelings with someone. With her Annika Bhaujaai. Bhaujaai would be able to understand her, and maybe help her out. After all, Bhaujaai had also faced rough patches in her relationship. But here again there was a problem; there was no escaping Bhavya. She almost felt guilty for thinking this, but if Gauri had to be honest with herself, she didn’t like Bhavya tagging along with her and Bhaujaai all the time. Bhavya was her friend, no doubt, but the almost-sisterly bond Gauri shared with her Bhaujaai, that was something different. Bhavya did not invite her confidence in relationship matters. And her presence meant that Gauri could not confide in Anika Bhaujaai.

Anyways, there was no point thinking about all this, because currently Bhaujaai was busy imitating someone from the North Indian hinterlands. And it was such a poor imitation, but Gauri was too sweet to discourage it. So, here she was, alone, reflecting the mess that her life had become. Its not that her life was wonderful before she met Omkaraji. No, it was difficult even then; standing up to the torture of her greedy chaacha-chaachi, taking care of her ill mother, struggling to keep their family afloat, none of it had been easy. But Gauri was a born fighter. She fought against all that, she fought against Kali Thakur, she fought against Svetlana, against Buamaa, and she fought against her Omkaraji too, in a way. All alone, always alone. But at least she knew what she was doing.

That’s exactly where the problem lay. Since she had returned from Bareilly, she felt like she was just an audience viewing everything happening around her from the outside. She felt like she was just a pawn in some pathetic game, in fact, she felt below than a pawn. She felt like she had no agency in what was happening to her.

********

Agency, that word seemed so alien to her. No one would think that she would come here. After all, why would Svetlana, the woman who could almost tweak science, come to a place of worship? But it seemed that she had no choice in the matter. For the first time in life, Svetlana was pulled against her will to enter the premises of a temple. Svetlana did not believe in god, or indeed, anything supernatural. But she just couldn’t resist the urge to come to this place. Like she had no agency.

But then again when had she had any agency? When was the last time that she did something just because she wished to? As far as she could remember, the foremost thing on her mind was taking revenge on the Oberois. That was her central mission, and everything other action in her life was dedicated to that. Its like she was a robot with only one agenda on mind and every other action of hers, were just ancillary actions, leading up to her mission.

As far back as she could remember her mother had instilled a feeling of revenge in their hearts. Svetlana being the eldest was almost fed on that revenge. Of course, being the eldest, the prime responsibility of taking revenge also fell on her. Svetlana had dedicated her life to this mission. While Tia was happily pondering about the universe, Svetlana devoted her time to science and business, as much as she could, to defeat the Oberois. She had come a long way in acquiring knowledge and learning through experience. Along the way, she would recollect some unsavory experiences as well, but Svetlana did what was necessary to survive, and she never reflected upon her actions.

She was recovering from another checkmate of the Oberois. It was almost humiliating now, how the Oberois managed to outsmart her, sometimes by sheer luck. The recent drama at the auction was still stinging her. Her temporary exit did not derail their plans however, because her cousin Veer was there to take care of the Oberois. Veer was probably the closest to Svetlana, when it came to their interests; both understood the value of science in their lives. However, Veer was boring, and not to mention had a certain streak of depravity, which made Svetlana privately grateful that he was dealing with the Oberois for now, because she needed a break from their stupidity. Her thoughts went back to how she would always come close ruining them, but get thwarted at the last moment. She remembered the time when she almost married Omkara, the second grandson of the family, and the stupidest of the three brothers. Sentimental fools are always the easiest to trap. But then his so-called wife entered the scene and ruined her plans. Gauri, oh how she made a fool out of Svetlana for months.

Maybe her imagination was too strong, but Svetlana was shocked for a moment to see that girl, Gauri, sitting on the temple floor. She took a closer look and realized that she wasn’t hallucinating; Gauri was actually sitting there.

********

Gauri was staring into space, when a familiar voice penetrated through the fog of her thoughts.

“Regretting our life decisions, are we?”

Gauri looked up to see Svetlana standing over her, smirking slightly.

“You better take off your heeled sandals in the temple. People might not like it.” Gauri said idly.

“And you may not save me like last time?” replied Svetlana. For a moment, Gauri was confused about what she was talking about, then she remembered the first time she and Svetlana met, and how Gauri had almost rescued Svetlana from the furious autowaalahs.

“I didn’t do it for your benefit. I overheard you while you were on the phone. You wanted a servant and I wanted a job. So, I thought this would work out well for me.” replied Gauri.

“I thought as much. You and I aren’t very different.” Svetlana smirked.

“What do you mean?” Gauri’s interest was piqued now.

“Well, its not like you are the Sati Savitri you portray yourself. You duped Omkara and his entire family into believing that you are boy for months. You played with their emotions by faking your pregnancy. And its not that your hands don’t have blood on them.” sneered Svetlana.

“What are you saying?” Gauri almost shouted, curiosity and a slight fear now mixed with her voice.

“Keep your voice down, you don’t want people to find out that you killed Kali Thakur, now do you?” asked Svetlana

“How do you know about that?” asked Gauri, now brimming with curiosity.

“After my history with Kali Thakur and his unexpected re-entry in my life, I would be a fool not keep tabs on him. I value my life.” said Svetlana

“Well, if you did keep tabs on him, then you would also know that I stabbed him in self-defense. And coming back to the Oberois, even if I did fool them, it was to save Omkara ji’s life, to save his family from the likes of you and Buamaa.” Gauri replied, with confidence now that her curiosity had been satisfied. “Its our intentions that define our actions, and not our actions alone. All I did, was always for Omkaraji’s good.”

“The same Omkara, who is so absorbed in his duty to his brothers, that he does not know his wife is here shedding tears?” chided Svetlana

The taunt hit too deep. “What are you doing here anyways? Shouldn’t you be in prison?” Gauri tried to deflect Svetlana’s taunts.

“I thought you knew me well by now, Gauri. No prison can keep Svetlana locked for long.” Svetlana laughed “Don’t try to avoid the question. So, Omkara indeed does not know that you are here lamenting your fate. This is hilarious. After all that you have done for him, put your life in jeopardy, even at my hands, he does not care to find out where his wife is?” sneered Svetlana even more.

“Shut up! Omkaraji trusts me, and I trust him. I have full vishwaas on him.” Gauri tried to fight back bravely.

“Oh really? Then lets test your vishwaas, shall we? Why don’t you stay here some time longer, and see if Omkara comes looking for you?” Svetlana asked

Gauri was struck by this question. Curiously what impacted her was not whether Omkara would come looking for her or not; but whether he knew where to look for her in the first place.

“What happened? No answer? Are you worried that he won’t look for you? Or are you worried that he wouldn’t even know where to start?” Svetlana chided further.

Gauri looked up at her; shocked that Svetlana of all people could guess what she was thinking.

Svetlana looked down at her, and the answer was clearly reflected in Gauri’s eyes. Curiously Svetlana did not feel like laughing at Gauri’s fate.

****** Dusk was approaching now, but no Omkara was in sight. Idly, Gauri thought that she was right, he didn’t know where to find her, and her mind went back to the time when they both were practicing for Dhurindhar’s questions, and Omkaraji did not remember her favorite dish was daal chaawal, even though she remembered his. Even though they had spent so much time together when she was in her Chulbul disguise, he knew nothing about her. Then again Omkaraji had promised that Chulbul was his best buddy, and yet he had left to die at Kali’s hand or worse, when the veil of Chulbul was lifted. And there, it happened again.

The entire day, wave after wave of unhappy thoughts and memories were crashing upon Gauri. She was plagued with negative thoughts, and she couldn’t run from the truth anymore. Omkaraji did not care for her, at least, not in the same way that she did.  Or not to the same extent that she did. It shouldn’t matter that he didn’t care for her the same way; after all, didn’t Gauri believe that love should be like Meera’s devotion to Krishn? She remembered how confidently she had told her future Bhaujaai on the phone, when they spoke for the first time. “Hum jise chaahe uska milna zaroori kaha hai? Hum toh chahne bhar se khush hai.”  But then she also learnt the hard way that a one-sided relationships don’t work.

“Abhi mohabbat karni hai, humein hamaare hisse ki.” Words, just empty words. What more to expect from a poet? Words are all that he could give, but his actions spoke otherwise. Its not like he didn’t care for her at all, but since they returned, there was one crisis or another that befell their family. But Bade Bhaiyaa had to face those crises too, yet Bade Bhaiyaa could manage to be an excellent elder brother, and an Ishqbaaaz’. Anika bhaujaai was so loved; it was evident in Bade Bhaiyaa’s eyes how much he wanted her.

Omkaraji just wasn’t like that. He just wasn’t an Ishqbaaaz like his elder brother.  Heck, he wasn’t even a normal husband. And not for the first time in her life, Gauri felt unwanted, unloved. Gauri was aware that she was beautiful in an objective kind of way. She didn’t think much of it though, because more often than not it was the root cause of unwelcome attention, the worst example of which was Kali Thakur. But it pinched her that her husband never noticed her. She was invisible to his eyes. Okay, maybe not invisible but she was definitely only a reactionary figure in his life. He did stand up for her, but only when something happened like when Papaji did her shraadh. That particular memory still hurt her. Not so much because of what Papaji did, but more so because Jahnvi Maaji, did nothing to stop him. The same woman, whose life Gauri saved twice, and not just her life, but her marriage too. Gauri shouldn’t be surprised at Omkaraji’s ungratefulness. It seems that he had inherited it from his mother.

Maybe Gauri was being unkind. Omkaraji must have done something for her willingly. Nothing came to Gauri’s mind. Desperately now, Gauri struggled to find one instance when Omkaraji had done something of his accord for her. Yes! He came to Bareilly as Dilpreet to make up to her. But another stronger voice nagged in her head that maybe that was out of guilt, to make up for his mistake. Gauri thought harder.

He was so sad when that painting of hers was auctioned. But maybe that was because the painting signified the rebirth of his art, and not because it was her painting. He did credit her for being his inspiration. Another thing, in the long list of things, that Gauri had done for Omkara. And here it was again. That feeling. That Gauri had given her everything to a man in the past one year, who did not even care for her enough to tell her the truth of what’s going on his life. To make her the part of his life. To come looking for her, when she’s been missing for an entire day.

She looked at Shankarji’s idol. She had always trusted her Shankarji to know the best for her, which is why she never questioned her marriage to Omkaraji. She never hesitated in performing her duties to that marriage because she believed that Shankarji joined their fates, so who was she to deny the responsibilities that came with it? She never expected of Omkara to upkeep his side of the marriage. Only wanted some trust from his side. He finally gave her the reason to trust him in Bareilly, he made promises to give her what was her due, as his wife. But he reneged on his word.

Did Shankarji make a mistake?

********

Svetlana did not know why she was sitting here. Like in her entire life, she could not have come up with a worse way to waste time, than sitting next to the wife of her enemy. She could be doing better things, like plotting her next scheme to ruin the Oberois. And there it was again, the same thought. The Oberois, always thinking about ruining the Oberois. Its like nothing else occupied her mind than the hundred and one ways to ruin that family of idiots. Her entire life, she could have achieved so much more, but no, it always ‘badla’ and ‘barbaadi’. But right now, nothing and no one could look more ‘barbaad’, more devastated then the girl sitting opposite her. Gauri took no notice of her, because it was as clear as day on her face that right now, the girl was going through an existential crisis, that her life was crashing around her.

Svetlana was feeling this strange emotion in her heart. She didn’t know what it was, mostly because she thought she didn’t possess a heart. She tried really hard to put a name to the contortions in her heart, which she was experiencing. Leading an almost mechanical existence her entire life, putting a name to her feelings was one of the most difficult tasks she’s ever come across. Finally she came up with a word to her emotions: Pity. Svetlana pitied the girl sitting before her. Yes, she pitied Gauri.

“Are you done moping?” said Svetlana, trying to sound irritated.

“Why are you still here? To enjoy the downfall of your enemy?” countered Gauri

“Are you my enemy? The Oberois are my enemy, but what is the cause for our feud? If I’ve done anything against you, its just collateral damage.” said Svetlana.

“Collateral damage? Right, like I was for your sister Tia?” asked Gauri, with a slight smile

Svetlana was stumped. “How did you know she was my sister?”

“I know that Tia is not blind. And the only way she could fool that doctor, was with chemicals, which no one but you could have provided her. And why would you help her? Why would she plot against the Oberois when she was so grateful to Bade Bhaiyaa and Bhaujaai? Only if you two were related.” guessed Gauri.

“Hmm, you are smart. Why are you wasting your time with that sentimental idiot, Omkara?” asked Svetlana

“Ek jhaap mein deewar pe sat jaaibe! Just because I’m disappointed with him, or sitting here talking to you, it doesn’t mean that I would listen to nonsense about him, least of all from you” replied Gauri angrily.

“Itna pyaar? And for that person who still hasn’t bothered to find out where you are?” sneered Gauri.

“Not love, devotion.” replied Gauri.

“Devotion to the person who doesn’t deserve it?” sneered Svetlana

And she hit the nail with it. Gauri had realized when she walked away from Omkara that day, after the fiasco at the hotel that Omkara wasn’t deserving of her devotion. And there she was learning English to impress him. How Gauri regretted that now. She, who was always proud about her origins, succumbed to her insecurities, which she never had before meeting him. That’s what he had reduced her to: an insecure shell of her former glorious self. After she walked away from him, she promised that she would never change herself for anyone like that again. But then why was she here in the temple today, cursing her fate? Because she tried to be every bit the supporting wife and bahu of the house. And what did she get in return for that? A father-in-law who performed her funeral rites and a husband who was out there gallivanting with his brothers and sister-in-law, forgetting that he had a wife too.

Svetlana saw Gauri’s form shrinking, and felt a little guilty for how her words pierced her.

“Oh c’mon. Get up. Do something about it if you are so upset. Fight him back, make him rue treating you like this.” said Svetlana.

“And what purpose will it serve? He hurts me I hurt him. I push back harder, causing no one more grief than myself, and everyone around me a lot of headache.” said Gauri.

“So, that’s what you think of Shivaay and Anika’s relationship?” taunted Svetlana, with a laugh.

Svetlana caught Gauri’s hand in time, because Omkara was one thing, but Gauri would not hear a word against her Bade Bhaiyaa and Bhaujaai, and hand her rose in reflex to reply to Svetlana’s words.

“Don’t even think about it.” Svetlana said with chill in her voice. She calmed herself, and continued, “Think harder, isn’t your Bade Bhaiyaa and Bhaujaai’s relationship exactly like this?”

Gauri was reminded of how both Shivaay and Anika got engaged to Ragini and Vikram only to show their famous ‘tadi’. And she was not totally unaware of their relationship’s origins. In the last three months, when Omkara was ignoring her (unintentionally of course), she ended spending a lot of time with the servants of the house. They were friendly with her, since they knew her from her Chulbul days. Svetlana was right. Yes, Bade Bhaiyaa and Bhaujaai’s ishqbaazi warmed her heart, but that kind of relationship was unhealthy in its own way, and involved a lot of understanding on her Bhaujaai’s part. Just like her own relationship where all the share of understanding fell on her shoulders while Omkaraji never fulfilled his side of the relationship.

Svetlana released Gauri’s hand, once she saw her shoulders drooping. Comprehension showed in Gauri’s eyes.

“If you are not going to do anything about your situation, then are going to go back to him?” asked Svetlana

“I don’t know what I want to do.” replied Gauri.

“How about doing something you like?” asked Svetlana, amazed at herself, for even asking this. “What do you like doing?”

Gauri answered immediately without thinking, “I’d love to watch a Salman Khan movie.”

“Then lets go catch one in the theatre.” Svetlana said that almost against her own volition.

Gauri was shocked too. Here she was fraternizing with the enemy? But wait, Svetlana was not her enemy, not anymore.

“Lets go then” Gauri replied, with a slight smile.

Svetlana was the enemy of the Oberois.

******* Svetlana knew beforehand that she would regret her decision. It was not happening to her for the first time. Svetlana pondered idly that why was she always hanging out with her sautans? There was that one time when she was hainging out with Jahnvi, when they had supposedly killed Tej. And now this.

Gauri was excited beyond belief. It had been so long since she watched a Salman Khan film. The last time was before she……no, she wouldn’t think about that now. She would enjoy the movie. There was the usual message on the screen to switch off one’s mobile phones. Which is when Gauri realized that she didn’t bring her phone with her at all. What if….? No, she wouldn’t think about that. She focused her attention back to Tiger Zinda Hai. Unlike many of her friends, Gauri loved the idea of sequels. She loved to see another half of the story. There was always more to tell, more to a character. There was always a second innings to be played.

Svetlana was distinctly embarrassed. She was trying her best to ignore Gauri’s overenthusiasm over the show. Failing that, she was pretending that she doesn’t know her. The movie was obviously not up to Svetlana’s taste. Then again, when was the last time she had seen a movie. The only video she remember playing again and again was the Kalyani Mills video, which turned out to be an error. She felt a headache coming on, but seeing Gauri so joyous, she shut her eyes and gave in. What was wrong with her? She, Svetlana, who had always manipulated people, was being manipulated by some unseen force.

The movie finished some three hours later, but Gauri’s antics did not. Her silly kampat trick was drawing a lot of attention, but Gauri didn’t seem to take notice of that. Svetlana was rolling her eyes continuously at this nonsense, but also, for some reason felt a strong urge to laugh. Something’s definitely wrong with her.

They returned to the temple. Svetlana faced Gauri.

“What are you planning to do now?”

Gauri thought for a moment. The corner stone of Gauri’s life had been vishwaas. But Omkaraji had let her down. He did not trust her with his life’s goings-on. He did not think Gauri was an important enough to share his life with her. She was still an outsider to his life. Did Gauri want to go back to him? And if she didn’t, would that mean abandoning her beliefs, and the person her Shankarji had chosen for her?

But her Shankarji had also pulled her to the temple today. He ensured that she met Svetlana, and undertook an honest evaluation of her life. Maybe this was a sign from her Shankarji, that the man he chose for his devotee was not good enough for her. Maybe this was a sign that Shankarji was showing her way out.

“I want a break.” Gauri replied. “I’m unsure what I want, but one thing I don’t want is to go back to man who is not ready to be honest with me, to trust me, and to reciprocate the vishwaas I have in him. I’m not ready to go back to the family, which still treats me like an outsider. I want to play my second innings.”

Curiously, Svetlana understood what she meant. She wanted a break too. A break from an endless pursuit of the Oberois. Let Veer deal with them, she needed a break.

“So, where do you want to go?” Svetlana asked casually.

“You coming?” Gauri asked, not really surprised.

“I could use a break too.” replied Svetlana with a slight smile. “So, how about Goa?” asked Svetlana.

Gauri remembered the past three months and all the drama that happened. Svetlana looked at Gauri’s horrified expression.

“Chill, I was just kidding.” Svetlana answered, amused by Gauri’s reaction.

And just like that, both the women broke into a genuine, peal of giggles.  

*************

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Small Cause, Big Effect

Small Cause, Big Effect

By Hare in the Moon Astrology

Sunday March 1 2020

“When the world is in turmoil, it’s time to go fugitive, to slow down and receive rather than impose, to feel rather than think. That way, we’ll be ready when it’s time to break out of our limiting belief systems -because breaking out of our limited understandings is what it will take” Carolyn North

A heads up and an important reminder to frame each week’s forecast as part of a much bigger picture. 2020 is bringing about sudden and complete change. A moment in our collective time that is permanently closing the door on a familiar past. This shift is taking us all on to a new time-line so radically different that we will be struggling to grasp what’s happened to our world and to develop the skills to live in our new reality. As the waves from the epochal Saturn/Pluto Conjunction hit downstream ,through the ravages of climate change and the panic over an unknown virus, we are getting a real-time test of how fragile the world is- its delicate systems, its economy, its communities -just as our health systems have been systematically stripped to the bone and our support systems dismantled.

This week’s astrology is a perfect example of the phrase:” Everything is over -formed”, meaning that there is never just one simple cause and effect but multiple influences leading to an event or outcome.

The karmic South Node of Fate is conjunct centaur Pholus in Capricorn and both are activating Chiron in Aries. Pholus’ strapline is :“Small cause, big effect” like the genie escaping from the bottle. Chiron sets off a crisis to expose the wound for healing. The lesson is learnt through direct experience.

Venus is very active aligning first in Aries with Eris, the Galactic Centre, Haumea and Saturn before entering Taurus on March 6th to conjunct Uranus and align with the Nodes of Fate. If you unpack this, it means: highly emotional issues connected to global disruption (Eris), epochal events (Haumea) and Karma (Saturn) leading to shocks and collective unpredictability (Uranus) all involving downloads of new information (GC).

The seismic storm window opens on Thursday March 5th ahead of the Super Full Moon next Tuesday March 9th. At the same time, Mercury kicks up a Trickster storm as he slows to turn direct at the Super Moon. 24 hours earlier, the Sun makes his annual conjunction with shapeshifter Neptune right on the Super Moon degree of 19 Pisces.

With Neptune-symbol of pandemics- being triggered by a Super Full Moon and aligned with Saturn/Pluto/Jupiter/Mars-expect an increase in the Covid 19 virus numbers worldwide along with fear mongering, disinformation and widespread rumours.

The virus is more likely to impact our systems than you personally so make preparations now while Mercury is retrograde. When Saturn enters Aquarius in 3 weeks, restricted air travel looks likely along with an acceleration of virus spread at the Equinox and into early April at the first Jupiter/Pluto conjunction.

Stay on your Witness perch, keep your perspective and remember that fear is as contagious as the virus itself. Make your sanctuary- which you’ve been creating for the last 18 months during the Cancer/Capricorn eclipses- your base camp.

Read your free March 1-8 2020 Week ahead + Sign Forecasts at: www.hareinthemoonastrology.co.uk

New! my March 5D Report:” The Bridge Across Tomorrow” is your essential Guide to Lord of Time and Karma Saturn returning to futurist Aquarius for the first time in 29 years sounding the first crystal clear note of the incoming 2020 – 2043 Aquarian frequency and delivering progressive new tools and technologies. Sign up at: www.hareinthemoonastrology.co.uk

“The Ripple Effect is exponential in your work, and I am so grateful for the insight to embrace the next steps. Your 5D Reports are inspiration and solace throughout the month – thank you for your work, Lorna.” Sally Miller Tucson Arizona

*******

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[zombieheroine]

The call of an ancient meme caught up with me when @thetygre tagged me on one of those really fun get-to-know-me posts. So here we go!

Always post these rules

Answer the questions given by the person who tagged you

Write 11 questions of your own

Tag 11 people

1. What’s the best worst movie you’ve ever seen?

Alien vs Predator is a gem and I stand by it. 

2. Favorite pasta?

Shapes or sauce? Cause I like penne, and how it’s al dente at restaurants. It’s left a good impression on me because the only other place I’ve had penne pasta is at a school cafeteria and there it’s over-cooked. 

But as what to eat with pasta, then avocado and two cheeses. It’s what I make when I want to serve something really good.

3. What is a corporate corruption scheme that you have supported with your money?

I have once bought a nail kit from those stalls at malls. I made the mistake of stopping for the first and the last time, and was too nice a girl at fifteen to say no and escape with my money.

4. What video(s) do you watch when you need to laugh?

Rauski of Laeppavika never lets me down. Finnish gamers yayy!  

5. Favorite mythological character?

I’ve looked up to the great witch Louhi the Mistress of the North since I was little and read my first version of Kalevala. 

6. Talk to animals or be able to turn into a plant?

Talk to animals! I would have a whole new field of linguistics to research. Finally a clear line of “what is language” could be approached exactly. 

7. What is a video game that you actively decided to stop playing?

Oh, I barely manage to start playing.  

8. A good habit that you want to take up?

Having a work schedule for writing and reading. It would really help me in the academia and with my art and reduce stress, but so far I’m merely stumbling through all of it.

9. Your favorite disease?

I always had a thing for the plague, but different poxes are fun too. I like anything that involves fever and visible symptoms like spots or bumps. 

10. What RPG class would you describe yourself as?

Shaman. The call of nature and magic is strong in me, but I would also like to smash skulls with blunt objects. 

11. A flight of dragons or a small starship?

STARSHIP. Let me got to space! Space space space!

*

My questions: 1. Animal that you feel kinship with? 2. The zoo or the amusement park? 3. A vice you admire? 4. What did you Mother warn you about? 5. Your entree of choice at restaurants? 6. A language you’d like to learn? 7. Tell us about a book/movie/game/series/etc. that stayed on your mind for at least several days. 8. What’s your personal experience/opinion on spirituality and religion? 9. Think about your favorite characters. What draws you to them? 10. A fandom trend you loathe? 11. Something that makes you feel joy.

I unleash this beast upon: @floweryhanzo @bonnini @nappi @demoog @warlordzana @corianten @lifewhatisthat @the-jade-dragon @akiko-natsuko @maidenmart 

and finally, @hanzospeaks but for you question 10. A social trend you hate

[pegasusdragontiger]

My 11 Questions

I was tagged by @ohevansmycaptain

My 11 Questions:

1. First thing you do when you wake up?

 Hm I cleanse my face got into the habit as I used to work morning shift and had no time to do it as I had to be at work by 7-30am so I would wake up like about 3am to cleanse face, sit down and read fan fic and my book, then have breaky got dressed then watch the TODAY SHOW AUSTRALIA which is my lifeline and so freaken hilarious if you’re from the US look them up on you tube it will not only brighten your day but you will laugh till you cry and or pee your pants! They are that funny. Now though as I work different shifts I still cleanse my face in the morning but not so early!.

2. What song do you rock out to in the shower?

 Oh god that could be anything from U2, Led Zepplin, Beatles, Beegees, rolling stones, good charlotte, Coldplay, Adele, Fleetwood Mac, Imagine dragons, dmx. And others I can’t mention because my brain can’t think of any right now!

3. Where is your dream holiday destination?

Oh this is like I have so many like Europe, North America, South Pacific, Japan. 

4. What is your favorite comfort food?

Loaded question hands down probably chocolate.

5. Favorite Disney movie? (I know, it’s a tough one.)

 SERIOUSLY!! Aw man Beauty and The Beast, was goling to say all I can’t and seriously I can’t but. It was the first movie that I saw in a cinema, first time I saw a Brunette as a princess, first time I saw a character a female one that could read, love reading and had a MIND OF HER OWN. Some may say but it tells young girls that Stockholm syndrome is okay I say yeah I get that but fk off! The first time we saw an independent woman with a mind of her own saying no to a prick/town favourite she must marry him because it was expected of her. That having a family with only 1 parent was okay. That you could be weird and wonderful and brilliant and that was okay.

6. If you could have one wish, what would you wish for?

 I have no idea I could say world peace, but I would say that for everyone to get along, that the homeless people had places to go that people in need of support have a better system and access to it.

7. If you could spend the day with anyone, living or dead, who would it be?

 God this would be so hard!!! Like I have so many people like Robbin Williams, John Lennon, Cleopatra, Alexander the great and to pick his brain for a life time!!

8. What is happiness to you?

 Hanging round my friends and they are down, or hearing about one of my fave fan fic writers is down and doing/saying something that I did as a kid or right now and seeing them laugh and they laugh for a while and I look at them and say with an affronted face it was funny but not that funny you pee your pants! Giving hugs to them or sending them. Having them tell me that they had or are having a shit week and I made it better be being a goofball If I give someone either I know/ just met/ or talk through Ao3 or tumblr a smile or giggle or life it makes my day.

9. What is your favorite season, and why?

 Yeah this one is hard, would say Winter as you can put on layers, with Summer you can’t do anything but suffer and die and say why me! Fkn Aussie summer is just a bloody nightmare!!

 10. Do you believe in fate?

 Yes, as I had so many close calls it was fate that I randomly got a job with the place that I do just wish they’d give me more fkn shifts!

11. Why are you such an amazing human being? (I’m cheating with this one, I know.)

I had so many influences like my dad loves Looney tunes reruns/ Abbott and Costello, and others which went to my brother and he past it on to me so I have this Sarcastic humour from watching all these funny shows and other stuff. Like I have a shitty messed up life I have someone in my life and in my friend circle that have mental illness and it just, you have no choice but to get back up and keep living if you stop to think or talk about it you are in a ball in the corner doing nothing but crying and screaming in pain. Yu have no choice but to go second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour and keep going in a way moving no laughing when you know you shouldn’t trying to have a life. So I know how hard it is I know how fucken shit life is. I know what it’s like to be constantly put down nearly every person in my life who I won’t ever mention has verbally put me down either about me/ my job/ not being successful not having a partner/married, not having kids, not having my own home/ or car. I have had it and continue to have it chucked in my face. Apparently, I am not allowed to have a life. So that is why to all the Authors I follow on here and Ao3 why I give you all nonstop support and encouragement, joy, laughter, affection. Because I may not get the hate mail or the verbal comments I do not like bullies, but I want you guys to feel the happiness that you give me to know that you have given me and us a gift of escape of forgetting our shit life knowing we aren’t and never alone! I don’t do it for a new update because I love giving affection and making people happy and like only 4 years ago I was able to watch Bambi and fkn not cry! To know that you guys are so talented I am going to comment as much as I can for however long I can and you all have such different and exciting ways of telling stories that it is my crack for Life!!! Love you all!!!!! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤.

My 11 questions 

1) What is your Favourite Movie and Tv show?

2) If you have a favourite Sport as a kid and now or activity?

3) Favourite Animal?

4) Favourite Colour? and why?

5) The go to song whether happy and sad?

6) Favourite Meal?

7) If you could Travel anywhere for free where would it be?

8) Which Marvel Character would you like to be?

9) Favourite Drink?

10) All time favourite book?

@ilovethings-somuch @littleplebe @mcgregorswench @glynnisi @cinnaatheart or anyone else that wants to do this no pressure!!!