#eren is the reason a dropped shingeki though

[hellcifrogs]

Feel free to defend them in the comments.

[mysteriousmissfsart]

BNHA Rambles #1

I would like to thank Horikoshi-sensei for creating Boku no Hero Academia. I appreciate his hardwork and effort that he has put into his work. Thank you.

However, I am incredibly sad about episode 11 of season 7. Episode 10 as well.

I warn anyone reading this that there will be spoilers if you are not caught up with the anime or the manga (up to this point).

This post is just me rambling about a few things. (I mean a lot of things, actually)

Do tell me what you think as well!

Spoilers under the cut!

First of all, WHAT IS IT WITH THE RIGHT ARMS OF PEOPLE GETTING BROKEN OR SOMETHING????

Like, Endeavor lost his right arm??? Now Bakugo is most likely not going to be able to use that arm as well???? Are we drawing parallels between those two? Is their redemption in not being able to use one side of their body???? This is sad???????!!!!!!!! I was literally rooting for Katsuki to become a pro hero by the end of the series.

Speaking of KATSUKI BAKUGO-

Like, is my boy dead? (I already know the answer so please, no need to tell me. Also, I really had to know, okay?)

I basically grew up with this guy???? (I was 14 when the first season came out and now I'm 22)

Am I literally going to be watching bnha without Katsuki? He was literally the reason why I watched it in the first place! I could see where his character development was headed and I knew that it would be good! Yes, the other characters are amazing as well and I am going to watch the series anyway, I don't like leaving things unfinished unless its really bad. I am happy about Shinso getting some good screentime, though. Hope he doesn't get hurt in some way, seen or unforeseen.

(Fun fact: There are only two series I have dropped and will never finish watching; 1. Kuroko no Basket. 2. Shingeki no Kyojin. Reason: For Kuroko, the only characters that were interesting to me were Kuroko and the Blonde guy, I literally forgot his name, I also didn't like the cherry stem girl really. Overall, didn't find it appealing. For Shingeki: Only character I liked was Levi, still like him. It has too much gore, I didn't know that when I was told that it was a masterpiece. I couldn't stomach anything everytime I watched an episode. Bnha is MILD in comparison to whatever was going on in Titan land. Also, I always disliked Eren with a passion. If you know you know. My friend and my sister have already told me the whole thing. I was right about you Eren Yaeger!!!!)

But-

I never expected his heart to get pierced????? Why did we have to do that?????

I was peacefully eating dinner today when I was shocked by the sheer evilry that scene presented. I have not cried this much over a character death before. The first time I cried over one was over the death of Hiccup's dad from how to train your dragon (I was maybe 11 at the time). But, never like this. Never like somebody I know has died. It's strange that I felt so connected to him. I don't know, my emotions never make sense really. Like, my breath literally hitched and my eyes just teared up and flowed down my face???!!! Like, what???? Why did he have to be done like that? The scene with him talking to All Might's Shadow (ghost, spirit????) and that tone change. We have never heard Katsuki talk in that way before, he seemed like himself there and not the tough facade he always dons.

The scene at the end when we see his heart get pierced and then when Jeanist realizes what has happened was just heartwrenching. I couldn't stop crying. He doesn't deserve this, none of them do. I literally made myself pretend that didn't happen but when Jeanist pointed it out, all I could do was stare in disbelief at the screen. The saddest part of all of this? His mom realizing that it will rain and saying "that kid doesn't like the rain". Why? Because that's when Jeanist realizes that his heart has been pierced by Shigaraki/All for One. IT RAINS WHEN THEY REALIZE THAT KATSUKI'S HEART HAS BEEN PIERCED.

Sad, I'm just unbelievably sad.

I just wish this series ends on a happy note.

To Horikoshi-sensei,

If you are reading this, may your readers' tears soon dry and there be a happy ending to your series. I am truly a big fan of this series and how it has turned out. I never expected to stick around for so long but it has been interesting. This series has kept me on my toes and has fed into my love of mystery solving. I loved discovering things along with the characters as well as figure things out on my own. The angst and horrifiying theme has been carried out so well. I hope I will be around for the ending as well.

Thank you!

---------------------------------------------------------------------

What did you all think of this episode and Katsuki's development? I am dreading the next episode. Were you shocked by this scene? I literally couldn't keep my eyes on the screen. It hurt too much.

See you again sometime!

[lettersfromandie]

The End of Attack on Titan (Thank You, Isayama sensei!) #Spoilers

It's been a month since Attack on Titan (Shingeki no Kyojin) manga officially ended. I'm sad that my favorite manga ended so soon just when I started getting into it a year ago. But I'm also glad that I was able to catch up and joined the ride of anticipating every month during its final arc.

Speaking of the end of its eleven-year run, many fans were disappointed of the final chapter. Some fans though, which includes me, were just satisfied of its bittersweet ending. (Spoiler alert!)

Though personally, I did not expect that Isayama would actually carry out that Lelouch Lamperouge move on Eren 😳  I even tweeted this six months before its finale:

(Translation: If AOT's next chapter or end would be just like Code Geass's... hmph)

And six months after, I was dumbfounded of my accidentalforeshadowing...I'm sure it isn't just me who probably saw this possibility, but I guess we never actually wished for that hero-becomes-villain-but-ends-as-a-hero move to actually come true because we believed Isayama sensei probably has a more mind-boggling and out-of-this-world (and all other amazing adjectives) end to the story, just like the many turning points and plot twists that made our jaws drop since the beginning of Attack on Titan. 

But who would have thought...

I suppose that was one of the reasons why many did not like the ending, because it is a predictable one, which, isn't so much like Isayama. Also, they say that there are still many questions left unanswered.

I also understand their reasons and sentiments. However, I still stand that it was a good ending. I saw once on Twitter that the ending isn't what one should expect a plot twist of some sort; rather, a conclusion or wrap-up of the story. And I second the motion to this.

Anyhow, I'm not here to fight that many fans are ungrateful, chz. I just want to share my reaction and feelings of this amazing creation that made me want to consume other creations, come to its tail end. While reading its final chapter, I cannot help but well up with tears and all these overwhelming emotions.

We have different views on this. But whether the ending was good or bad, it still does not erase the fact that Attack on Titan is, if not THE best, then, one of the best stories out there (not to mention, the mangaka whose ingenuity and talent are worth lauding).

THANK YOU, ISAYAMA SENSEI! 🙏

Love, Andie

[tonkiprinter]

Call of duty modern warfare 3 mods pc

Call of duty modern warfare 3 mods pc mod#

From small-scale, high-stakes infiltration tactical ops to highly classified missions, players will deploy alongside friends in a truly immersive experience.Īctivision will release this new COD game on October 28th. Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 freeload Repacklab Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 freeload The best-selling first person action series of all-time returns with the epic sequel to multiple Game of the Year award winner, Call of Duty®: Modern Warfare® 2. Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 Modern Warfare 2 is a first-person tactical shooter and the sixth entry in the popular Call of Duty series.

Call of duty modern warfare 3 mods pc mod#

V god Release Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2: Yamato V1 GSC Mod Menu. Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare arms gamers with an arsenal of advanced and powerful modern day firepower and transpor. If you can’t catch this reference, do yourselves a favor and watch Shingeki no Kyojin.Ĭall of Duty: Modern Warfare II will drop players into an unprecedented global conflict that features the return of the iconic Operators of Task Force 141. User Manual for Call of Duty Modern Warfare 3 Offline MOD freeload. Just be like Eren from AoT (who had already seen the future) and avoid spoiling the fun. For obvious reasons, I won’t spoil it (though I’m certain some of you will try to spoil it in the comment section). To address the banning, which is what a lot of people want to focus on, the mod was uploaded by a sock puppet account (i.e. The mod was removed from Nexus Mods and the author was banned. Now if you’ve played the original Modern Warfare 2 game, you know exactly the villain we’re talking about. The mod replaced the very few Pride flags the game actually has with the already prevalent USA flag texture from the game. This trailer features 15 seconds of gameplay footage, and confirms the appearance of a specific villain.Ī new :15 second #ModernWarfareII clip (video is on the CoD YT Channel as an unlisted video) /qLjryJJ2DT A new short gameplay trailer from the single-player campaign of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 has appeared online.

[maxmagi]

A List of My OTPs

because it's 11 and I can't sleep.

Enjolras x Grantaire a.k.a. Enjoltaire a.k.a. ExR- Les Mis

How I fell into this I don't remember now. I vaguely remember reading a crackfic of this and then everything just went sideways.

This was also the fandom that helped me realize that I wasn't exactly straight and that it's okay to not be loud about my sexuality, that I can just be.

I think that explains my attachment to this ship, not to mention just the movie's Grantaire (played by George Blagden) also shipped the characters and played his character like how he thought it should be, Grantaire loving and pining after Enjolras without the revolutionary knowing it.

Except in the fan fics, Enjolras returns his feelings and they work it out, even though it's not easy because they're both stubborn as mules. Ah, ultimate fantasy I guess. And the number of great fics here, *whistle*

Also, the Les Amis? Is amazing? Especially in the modern AUs? Like they're great friends? I love this fandom so much! Permets-tu!

Shen Wei x Zhao Yunlan - Guardian / Zhen Hun

C'mon, Zhu Yilong & Bai Yu's performance and emotions? Plus just the fact the fanfic writers of this ship are absolutely amazing? Please, escape from this pairing is impossible!

Best opposites attract trope for me. An academic by day, superhero by night in love with a roguish police chief who has no powers but whose charisma, wit, and heart can get him to toe to toe with the legends.

Also, Professor Shen Wei constantly acting like an innocent civilian and lying badly? Gold!

Loki x Tony Stark a.k.a. FrostIron - Avengers

How did I honestly get to this ship? I really can't remember what started it all. I think it must have been a Loki redemption fic where Tony Stark and Pepper broke up and something something happened. Let me tell you, the writers of this ship have written sagas and ballads of epic and sometimes confusing proportions, and that is why I fell deeper into the pit. I mean, they gotta give justice to two brilliant but chaotic characters, right? Angst. This ship has sooooooooo much angst.

Eiji x Ash - Banana Fish

My god, if you want to keep your heart intact and not be reminded of all that's ugly in the world, DON'T WATCH OR READ BANANA FISH. YOUR HEART WILL NEVER HEAL!

If you're gonna watch/read it anyway, make sure to watch something fluffy and sweet after. There's a reason that people from this fandom go, "If you've seen Banana Fish's ending, then you can handle whatever angsty show you're watching now." ~ or something to that effect. Another thing we like to say in this fandom is, "Other fandoms: Let's write a Mafia AU! Banana Fish fandom: We are the Mafia AU." Yes, all of us in this fandom is dramatic af.

Yuuri x Viktor - Yuuri!!! on Ice

Uh, does this really need an explanation? Aside from the fact that you will surprisingly find a lot of Mafia AUs here because we all know that hiding behind that beautiful face of Viktor Nikiforov is a devil capable of... tearing down your self-confidence, like WTF Viktor, don't make Yuuri cry! Also, their dance together at the end, such beautiful love.

Magnus Bane x Alec Lightwood aka Malec - Shadowhunters

I never read the books and have no plans to in the near future. I just saw a video on Youtube about why Malec is life and now here I am, still reading some Malec fics from time to time.

Some stuff on the show were WTF but overall they were a really good couple who supported each other. Plus, they're a Power Couple.

Erwin x Levi aka Eruri - Attack on Titan / Shingeki no Kyojin

Not to be confused with Ereri, which is Eren x Levi, which I don't generally ship except for that one time when a writer wrote an epic fanfic series with Eren in his mid 20s and Levi in his late 20s/early 30s, reincarnation AU. Boy was that one a surprise. I did not expect that.

Anyway, I'm an Eruri fan through and through. Especially with that promise that Levi made to Erwin. And the reason he gave the serum to Armin. HE DIDN'T DO IT FOR THE KIDS YKNOW. HE DID IT FOR ERWIN. Plus, Levi, Erwin, and Hange are my special trio. Erwin's batch was really amazing.

Also, I really like the fact that the shorter and slighter person is the more badass fighter while the taller, bigger one is the more calculating and strategic one. Rocks the boat of stereotypes and all that. Bonus: how these two met. My god, what a meet-cute! 😂

Dani x Jamie aka The Au Pair and the Gardener - The Haunting of Bly Manor

It really is more of a love story than a ghost story. I dunno how to feel about this. I loved these two characters so much and I wished they had a better ending but I wasn't SO surprised because it was a horror series (Like, I was still hoping at the end that they'd be together forever but yknow...). In any case, Jamie was just awesome. And her nickname for Dani? Poppins?! God, what a lover and fighter. She was not afraid to cock a gun in a ghost's face.

... and now for my flexible BROTPs

Merlin x Arthur aka Merthur - BBC Merlin

Yeah, my brain is so chaotic multiple OTPs and BROTPs of the same pairing exist at the same time without clashing with one another or having major identity crises.

I actually really like BROTP Merlin and Arthur and also like reading OTP Merthur.

And when Merlin is paired with Morgana or Freya or sometimes even Gwaine, that's fine with me too. As long as his bromance with Arthur stays intact, because that's what drew me to the show in the first place. Personal preference. I see them as platonic soulmates.

*Shout-out to the Merthur writers though, you kept me sane during my "Post-Merlin Depression," which is actually a term thrown around in the fandom because of that horrid final season (not saying it's a good term but it's what it was called). A lot of amazing fics here, too, both Magic Reveal and Modern AU ones. Full of action and adventure too! I mean, there are boy-band-looking Knights and magic-wielding badasses!

Tim Drake x Conner Kent/Kon-El aka Red Robin x Super Boy - DC Comics

More like flexible otp. I dig Stephanie Brown and Tim Drake BUT I really really also dig Tim Drake and Conner Kent. When they're TimKon, it's like an entirely different entity from TimSteph. Ugh, hard to explain.

I mean, Kon telling Tim, "You'll always be my Robin" and Tim telling Kon, "And you'll always be my clone boy" is the shit. Also when Kon could pick out/recognize Tim's heartbeat. And when Tim nearly went mad scientist trying to bring his bestie back. Like, dudes, wtf. And at the same time, hell yeah.

Liu Kang x Kung Lao aka LiuLao - Mortal Kombat

- I see these two as more like ride or die best friends connected by fate/platonic soulmates. But also like their dynamic is so awesome, cute, sweet, badass, can't-live-without-you vibes.

Basically the same way I feel about Merthur. I like reading both romantic and platonic relationships between these two characters. Like, the LiuLao fan creators peeling off the layers of this relationship and exposing every raw nerve is beautiful.

They love diving into the characters' psyche, emotions, motivations, fears, and doubts and you get really amazed because... Aren't they just characters from a video game, you ask? Well yeah, but MK video game has several interesting storylines and the Mortal Kombat 2021 movie was just the perfect jumpstarter to this beautiful blaze.

I mean, "We swore that if we were to die, it would be together"? Hell no, you're not dropping that on us and not expecting us to create our very own spin-offs and 12-page essays on that shit. That's what we fans do, baby. And also, really, we need a shaolin monks/white lotus spin-off/prequel. We're starving here.

As this ship is the newest one on my list, it's the one I'm looking forward to the most. Not enough fan content, I tell you. Not enough. One of these days, I just might add my own.

But right now, it's past 1 and so I shall attempt to sleep.

***No images for TimKon and LiuLao coz apparently I've gone past my 10-images allowance 😤

[angel-tries-to-write]

New life from the darkness: Youth is like fireworks

Fandom: Shingeki no Kyojin/Attack on Titan Rating: Teen and up Pairing: Levi Ackerman x Hanji Zoë, Eren Jäger x Mikasa Ackerman Word count: 1448 Genre: fluff, humor

They worked in silence for a while, before Eren spoke again, as he realized he forgot to share the news, which probably everyone but their superiors knew.

“Speaking of children and Historia: did you know her and Ymir are going to have a baby?” he asked. Hanji stopped their work and stared at him with wide eyes.

“Historia? With Ymir?” they asked, trying to understand what he said.

“Yes. I mean, no. I mean, technically she's not pregnant with Ymir, that's impossible, but they're going to raise this baby together, so I guess we can say it's their baby” he explained and the commander seemed to understand. But quickly another question arose.

“How do you know that?”

“Annie received a letter from Reiner and he spoke to Hisu recently” Eren answered, it was not much of a secret anyway.

“Oh, Reiner? How are him and Bertholdt doing?” Hanji asked, remembering that the two of them were very problematic, yet rather good guys.

“Pretty good. They're almost done and told us that as soon as we're done here, we have to visit them, because they have some plans. Armin and Sasha are convinced they are going to get married.”

“Get married? That would be terrible for me and Levi. Another kids are getting married and we aren't even dating properly” Hanji chuckled and shook their head with disbelief. “When did you all grow up like that?”

“Don't worry, Hanji-san, at least you and captain have each other. Jean has no one” he chuckled.

“You shouldn't make fun of him. He's your friend.”

“More like frenemy. We trust each other with our lives, but only because we always had to, not because we wanted to. He's still jealous of Mikasa, as if it was my fault she loves me. Honestly, I wish he had a significant other, maybe we could actually get along. Everyone says we have a lot in common.”

“You do. More than you think.”

“I'm slowly acknowledging it. Don't tell him that, but I actually know he's a good man and I wish him all the best, because he deserves to be happy. And deep down I knew that if I wasn't meant to make it out alive, he would take a good care of Mikasa. And while I want her to love only me, I guess I could accept if she decided to be with him, because her happiness is the most important thing to me. But don't tell him that!”

“Oh, they don't have to” Jean spoke suddenly, as he appeared suddenly with Mikasa. Eren's face blushed furiously as he realized how much he exposed himself. “Captain Levi told us to check on you and to bring you this” he pointed out the boxes he was carrying, Mikasa also held some. They all contained stuff Hanji needed. “We didn't mean to overhear your conversation, but it's good to know you think that of me. I guess you should know that it's mutual” he admitted, not looking anyone in the eye. “But that doesn't mean we're going to be best friends now!” he stated, putting the boxes down. Suddenly Eren dropped what he was doing, approached Jean, grabbed his arm and pulled him in a hug.

“I hate you” he said, though his tone and body language were saying otherwise.

“I hate you too” Jean replied, hugging Eren. When they pulled away, they heard a sob.

“Mikasa, are you crying?” Eren asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I just never thought I'd actually witness something as amazing as this” she laughed, happy tears were running down her cheeks. She put her boxes down and ran to the men, pulling them both in a hug. “I'm so happy you finally matured enough.”

“Alright, as much as I wish for you to get along, we have something to do, so less hugging, more working. Levi isn't the most patient recently, I guess that heat is killing him. Let's not make him angrier” Hanji suggested and Jean immediately let go. Mikasa wanted to part either, but Eren stopped her and wiped tears from her cheeks.

“Don't cry because of me” he said quietly. “Ever. No matter what the reason is.”

“Your mom would be proud to see what man have you become” she smiled.

“I know” he replied, looking at Hanji. “Now go, don't make the captain wait” he gave her a quick kiss on the lips.

“I'm not afraid of him. Shorty needs to chill.”

“But I am and I'd rather not be punished, especially for last night. Yes, they know, they saw through my lie” he sighed.

“I know. Levi already gave me a talk.”

“How was it?”

“Not bad, actually. He really tried to not seem angry. Hanji would probably say that he was really nice and emotional, but I'm not as good at reading him as they are.”

“Hey, lovebirds, get your butts back to work!” Jean yelled at them.

“I swear, this guy...”

“Let him be” Mikasa smiled and kissed her boyfriend softly. “See you later?”

“Of course” Eren nodded and let her go. He watched her leave, love and adoration were very clear in his expression.

“Don't ever try to tell me you don't love her” Hanji teased him.

“I do, alright? I love her so much that it hurts to let her go, even though I know she's a couple of meters away and I'll see her soon, it hurts to watch her leave me. And to think we could have ended up like Hanna and Franz, it's scary” he admitted with a sigh.

“Who?”

“They were a couple when we were in training, always together, inseparable, despite denying they had any relationship. And they met a miserable end. I haven't seen it personally, but Armin told me once, when he had a nightmare about them. During battle of Trost, Franz was torn in half and killed, but Hanna was so shocked that she performed CPR on him until Armin told her it's pointless” he sighed again. “It's both romantic and painful, to love someone this much that you refuse to accept their death. I think that's how I feel about Mikasa and it scares me.”

“I understand that. I was really close to losing Levi and I was so scared then. I joked that he was so stubborn he refused to die, but later he made me realize that it was me, in fact. That I refused to let him die. I've lost so many friends, that I couldn't imagine losing him too. I still can't. And that is scary, how deep your bond must be that you'd like to bend the laws of nature for that person.”

“So you admit you love captain, commander?” Eren asked and Hanji sent him a death glare.

“Keep going and Mikasa or not, I'll murder you.”

“That's actually quite interesting how many similarities are between us. We're both impulsive, stubborn, with self esteem issues and in love with overprotective Ackerman” he noticed. Hanji still looked like they wanted to kill him, but they couldn't deny there was a truth in his words. “All according to Armin, of course.”

“Ah, that explains how you know that. Well, this kid is very perceptive and smart. Sometimes too perceptive, for his own sake” they chuckled.

“What do you mean?” he raised an eyebrow, not sure what they had in mind.

“That if you think you have a secret, Armin probably knows it already.” There was certainly more to the story, but Hanji didn't want to go into details.

“Unless said secret being Annie's feelings for him, right?”

“Yeah, I think he's a real pro in avoiding the topic by now. And he had the audacity to tell me I'm being obvious about my feelings.”

“I know, right? I can't even count how many times he told me I should confess to Mikasa, especially when I wasn't ready to admit it to myself, let alone to someone else. If only I knew about him and Annie, I wouldn't let him nag me that much” Eren said, definitely unhappy about the whole situation.

“We should make him pay” Hanji smirked and their eye twinkled with mischief.

“We absolutely should.”

“And I think I have an idea how...” they quickly filled him in. The plan was simple, yet effective and it had one goal: to make Armin confess to Annie.

“Hanji-san, you're a genius” Eren was definitely impressed by his superior's intelligence. He always thought his best friend was the smart one, but he totally forgot that their commander was behind most plans and only their combined abilities allowed everyone to save the world.

“I know. Now let's get back to work.”

[emotionalcello-makefanfics]

Additional Tags: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, One-Sided Love, Romance, Canon Compliant, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan Manga Spoilers, Kissing, Implied/Referenced Sex, Crying, Eren Yeager-centric, Sad Ending

Words: 6k

Summary: Eren has a dream that he will never live to see. So, at least, he wants to make this one small dream come true.

Eren has always been a dreamer.

Ever since he was a kid, he’d stare upon a wall and imagine the world outside. He’d dream about what he would do when he finally gets to go outside the walls. Armin would dream with him. The days inside the cramped walls would be a little brighter when he gets to dream of soft shredded ice falling from the sky and rivers of red molten rocks. The waves of glittery blue saltwater, the waves of green hills unending. To stand on top of the mountain and gaze upon the blue sky, seeing where it starts and ends in the horizons.

The dreams wouldn’t have gone wild nor wonderful had it not been for Armin. The naive creative boy that he always is, came up to him with big blue eyes filled with dreams that infect Eren on sight.

Looking back now, Eren doesn’t know whether his dreams had become everything he lived for, or a slow poison killing his insides.

Because all his dreams are dead the moment his lips met the back of Historia’s hand.

He grimaced at the memories. It took every will that he has to not vomit then and there at Historia’s feet.

Everything was never the same after he knew.

They ride out to the beach, and there it is. Infinite saltwater, blue as the sky, glittering in the sun. Yet he can’t feel happy about it, he had seen it with the previous’s attack titan’s eyes. The magic is gone before he gets to experiences it on his own.

His eyes stare longingly at the ethereal scenery in front of him, but all he sees is the enemy across the ocean.

Eren had a lot of dreams. Hopeful little dreams that all lead to one thing. He wants to be free. Free to explore. Free to be who he wants to be. Free to love. He can have none of those, because of the enemy that lurks behind the glittery waves.

If we kill the enemy, the one waiting for us on the other side, will we be finally free?

Not realizing that he said his musing, Armin steps by his side.

“I don’t think we can ever be fully free,” his blue eyes are as blue as the sky, as blue as the water. Eren wondered if Ymir put those eyes in him because this moment was destined too. “Even the people across the ocean aren’t free too, that’s why Grisha ended up inside our walls.”

Eren had fallen to a deep depression after the memories barged in, Armin’s words almost sealed him into rock bottom.

Almost, until Armin adds, “But we’re people. As humans we’re given a will, a choice to do things, even if there are consequences, nothing can ever truly stops us from doing what we want.”

Yes, this moment is truly meant to be, Eren thinks as Armin’s eyes filled with hopes and dreams, like it always meant to be.

“There’s always going to be enemies, Eren, but we worked our hardest to break out of the walls, and though we’re not fully free yet, we’re still rewarded.” Armin looks at him, and for a moment, the clouds parted, and it’s bright. Ever since the medal gifting, Eren had slowly ignored them all. This is the first time in many months that they meet eyes again, and of course, the hope and dreams latch on deep and rooting yet again.

“Right now, we’re being rewarded with the sea,” Armin looks down to the conch he’s holding, lowering it to the crystal clear water to sit in the sand. “We have big dreams, and it hasn’t come true yet, but the small dreams do. Didn’t we always dream to see the sea? Now we finally do, it came true. We broke out of the walls, the possibilities expand, there’s going to be a lot of small dreams coming true before the big one.” Armin looks at Eren with a mischievous glint, but Eren is too mesmerized to see what’s coming. “Like how you... can enjoy... a fist full of salt!” Armin throws a big splash of salt water on Eren’s mouth.

It’s so salty that Eren almost hacked his tonsils out. He doesn’t remember ever eating something so salty, ever. He used to beg his mom to put more salt in their dishes, but salt was a rare commodity and they’re far from rich. Now, Eren just had a fist full of salt.

Eren paused, and everyone’s stiff stares turn worrisome for him when Eren broke down into a manic laugh. As if the salt in the water isn’t enough, Eren contributes with his tears streaming down along the water in his hair.

Swimming in the clear blues, salty mouth, and vision almost whiteout by brightness, Eren feels like flying. He takes the saltwater and splashes Armin back along with Mikasa behind him.

Armin’s face broke into a wide smile and kicks the water at him. Eren gets completely wet, so is Captain Levi behind him. They all paled at the Captain’s scowl, but then Hanji squeals, “WATER WAR!”

And Eren will take water war over the other war he’s going to evoke.

++++

Small dreams

Or so Armin had said.

Once again, Armin filled him with hope. Maybe not all of Eren’s dreams are dead. It never occurred to him that he could settle for less.

Once upon a time, Eren dreamed of living in a cabin far in the woods. Where he can run and not bump into someone. Where he can breathe in crisp air instead of the damp breaths of other people. He dreamed of making a family in that cabin. Be in love, never feeling alone.

He had planned to do that with Mikasa. It’s so easy to love Mikasa, how couldn’t he? A stoic face that only brightens at Eren. She’s a quiet kid, but she shows affection with actions. Like how she’s always beside him no matter how petulantly Eren pushes her away sometimes. She’s distrustful but still trusted Eren the most. Her smiles are rare, but when she does, it’s always for Eren. It’s endearing.

Also, she’s beautiful. She doesn’t realize it and Eren sometimes wants to scream at her. But Eren never said anything to her, never admitted out loud. He knows since the day he met her that Mikasa is special. She’s calm, collected, mature and so strong. Eren never gets why she loves him, but Eren is afraid if she realized how special she is then she wouldn’t choose the lame, regular, non-special Eren.

But he wants her. He promised himself if the war is over then he’d confess his feelings to her and just... love her.

Eren wants to feel loved, to be loved, to be wanted and cherished. Wants all the romantical shit with that person. He’s loved by Mikasa, and he knows if Eren asks, Mikasa will never say no to Eren under positive circumstances.

Now that Eren knows the truth about Ackermans, he can never see Mikasa in the same light again.

Mikasa’s love -now that he gets a double-take- is scary. She gave her whole heart in her palm, her full dedication and love only for Eren, no questions, no hesitations, no doubts. What did Eren do to deserve it? To work for it? Nothing.

All Eren did was save her, and gave her a scarf because she looked cold and Eren’s mom taught him to be good. If Mikasa was a depraved kid lacking affection her whole life then Eren would’ve understood why Mikasa was taken by him. But no, Mikasa’s parents were good to her, what Eren did was not special to her.

She loves him, sure, like a dog loves its master. Unreasonably unconditional. And the dog doesn’t know what’s good for themselves, blindly loving their masters. Just like how baffling it was that a selfish serial killer like Kenny suddenly have a heart to follow a hidden king just because he begged prettily.

Having Mikasa love him doesn’t bear the same euphoric feeling. Eren isn’t special, just a lucky kid at the right time, she could’ve imprinted on anyone. Eren had thought this dream is dead.

Eren still loves her, she’s still a person, just a fucked up gene. So at that night infiltrating Marley with the team of survey corps, Eren asks her, “Why is it that you care so much about me? What am I to you?”

Mikasa blushes prettily, her breath quickens.

“You are family,” Mikasa admits shyly.

Unlike the dog that loves its master, Eren knows better. It’s not that Mikasa is pushing him away, Eren is family, Eren is her everything, that’s why all she said was those three words. And she feels all these things without any reason at all, so much that she can’t compute.

Then the family of the boy he helped offer alcohol, and Eren gulped it down. In a way, Mikasa broke his heart. Eren wasn’t special to her. Eren isn’t wanted, he’s being obsessed by, being followed by someone that doesn’t know better.

Morning comes. They’re in a boat on the way back to Paradis Island. Eren decides to give his dream one more try. Maybe it doesn’t have to be romantic? He settles for even less.

He finds Armin by the deck at 6 AM. The only ones awake around are them, the captain behind the wheel, and the fishes under.

His blue eyes take in the dark sea, the pinkish color of the dawn sky.

Eren knows why they both are the only ones up this hour after a whole night drinking. Turns out being a Titan means that you regenerate everything. They don’t get drunk too long, and they don’t get hangovers.

“Armin?” Eren can’t help the desperation in his voice, not in front of Armin. His best friend has seen him at his worst, and he’s still here, it must mean something, right? “What am I to you?”

Armin -who had been looking at him curiously the moment Eren spoke- drops his jaw. They look at each other for a while, and Armin seems to sober up from his shock and looks stern.

A pair of arms smack on either side of Eren’s face. It sobers Eren of all the melancholic brooding, even more now that Armin is putting a nagging face on. “Eren Jaeger, you listen to me. We’ve been friends since we’re gaggling children. You were a trouble-seeker even though you’re weak, couldn’t even land a punch on some goons! We all survived childhood purely thanks to Mikasa.”

“At least I tried to fight, unlike you, taking it laying down,” Eren growls, lifting his hands to pinch both of Armin’s cheeks. Gone the baby fat, they’re a little bit skinnier from growing up, and a bit too many muscles replacing it.

“Ow!” Armin grabs Eren’s wrist and to Eren’s surprise, Armin pulls his hands away easily. The strength stuns Eren’s mock anger away, and Armin looks at him with a solemn gaze. Eyes tinted pink look a bit lilac purple.

“I could never understand why you would befriend a weak kid like me, but then I figured it out.” Armin takes a deep breath, and suddenly Eren feels weak. Why is Armin looking at him like that? “You, Eren, are the most important person in my life. The one I cherished the most, and closer than family. No one realized how big of a heart you have, and your pride gets in the way of asking for help. But you care so much about everyone when no one was looking.” And Armin looks at him, Eren hears ‘but I did’, from Armin all the same.

“You’ve been different since we stepped into Marley,” Armin says, freezing Eren on the spot. Eren hoped he schooled his face as well as he thinks. “Whatever it is, you’re not alone. Alright? You have us, and we’ll always be on your side.”

Eren was done before he knew he started. Tears bursts from his eyes, lips frown deeply, holding back sobs.

“Oh! Eren, uh...” Armin awkwardly pats Eren’s back and Eren pulls him into the hug. It takes exactly one second for Armin to completely melt and wrap him into a tighter hug.

His heart bleeds. Armin did two things with his words. Makes Eren feel loved, and tore him a betrayal yet to be done.

It hurts because Eren knew, they can’t be on his side. They won’t, and that’s how it’s meant to be.

“Armin, can I try something?”

“I... guess?”

Maybe it’s Armin’s unpredictable blush or Eren’s half-broken heart, but it’s easy to just dive in. Eren didn’t realize how small Armin’s face is until he cups it, touched its cheekbones, trails the jaw, cradles the back of his blond hair. Leaning in is easy. Once meeting Armin’s lips, he felt some sort of instinct. It tells Eren to leans closer, tilts his head, licks the lower lip, and parts his own.

Eren wondered why lips taste so sweet and feel so soft, or was it just Armin?

When Armin’s arms find his sides and clutches, Eren feels heat riding up his spine, up to his head. He wants more. The morning is cold and every gentle move Armin does to kiss him back warms him with life. Finally, Armin parts his lips too, and instincts take over again. Tounge between teeth, roaming into his mouth.

Still, the best feeling of kissing is not how Armin feels on him, but how Armin is feeling him up. Armin kisses back with curious vigor, lips moving quicker, hands clutching tight. When Armin moves his hand to cups the back of his head and grabs his hair, Eren shivers. Eren wants more, wants Armin to want more of him.

Armin doesn’t feel the same, as he shows by stepping a wide step back. Eren gasps at the sudden space, cold strikes him like a slap, arms awkwardly hugging where Armin was less than a second ago. Blue eyes widen, in shock, but not in disgust, and Eren hoped.

“But... I thought Mikasa...” Armin stutters, hand on his lips. Eren empathizes, his lips still tingle too.

“I don’t think of her that way.”

“Liar, I saw you... You...” Armin’s words died away. Yes, he saw Eren looks besottedly at Mikasa when no one was looking. It changed though, and even though Eren isn’t transparent, Armin can read him like a dog-eared book.

“I don’t think of her that way anymore,” he corrects.

It’s true. Eren did think of her that way, not anymore. Eren loves Armin, but he never thought of him that way, now he can, and somehow it makes sense. His wild dreamer of a head can see it.

Armin’s silence is discouraging. Self-consciously, Eren feels that he might be moving too fast.

...

What’s Eren doing? What’s next? Going on a date? Be boyfriends? Share sweet nothings under the stars until Eren eventually betrays them all?

He knew he had to give up on his dreams, small as it is, and he won't live to see his one most important dream come true. Eren sees the suffering and the screams, but not the peace that came after.

Still, a part of him yearns and reaches desperately before Eren can pull away.

“We don’t have to talk about it,” Eren says, every word ripped from his flesh. Eren smiles apologetically at Armin’s confused expression. “It’s nice... I-I... You’re my everything too.” The confession is terrifyingly easier. Eren feels the heat on his face now, and the shaking cold of his fingers.

Armin takes a deep breath with his slacked jaw, still startled, but something changed in his face, softer.

Eren walks away, but a strong grip holds his wrist. Eren realized that strong as Armin is, he’s not as strong as Eren’s. Eren is just so weak for him. Since when? How could he never notice?

Well, he notices now, and it makes him flush when he kisses him. It doesn’t mean anything. Nothing can come out of it. Eren can’t dream of it.

“Since when?” Armin asks vaguely, but Eren still knows.

“Since just now,” Eren says truthfully.

Armin lets him go then. Eren doesn’t look at him when he walks away.

+++

But Eren never stopped yearning.

Everything starts coming to place. So fast, so perfectly that it scares him.

These moments with his friends are numbered, and with all the power given to him, he can’t stop time.

He remembers what Armin says, and what Eren can realistically take from it. Enjoy it while he can. Cherish his friends while he can. As embarrassing as it sounds, Eren was saying the truth when he said he wants none of them inheriting the Attack Titan. These people live through hell with him, and he’ll make sure all of them make it in the end. No need to bear the Titan for the sake of foolish wars. It all will end with Eren, and it’ll make one of Eren’s dreams come true. The friends most precious to him will live in peace till they’re old and grey.

All of this is for the dreams that Eren will never live to see.

But the small ones, his mind says in betrayal, it can come true right?

Those words are what got him yearning still for the one thing he had given up on, or trying to at least.

Nothing changes between him and Armin. Eren has more practice in acting, he finds it easy to have a poker face, seems like his face does the same thing if he’s in despair, so he lets it take over. Armin is a bit different. The tension is there though faint. Lurking glances at the corner of his eyes, disappearing just before Eren could turn and see. It was Eren that says they don’t have to talk about it.

He hates it. Hates that even without meeting his eyes, Armin still gives him hope.

Eren knows he’s been sneaking into Annie’s jail cell. A part of him feels jealous, another part feels relieved. Relieved because Armin can move on, and maybe they’d pretend they’re never a thing to begin with. Yet Armin never stopped staring, and Eren could never really let go.

Eren knows that inherited traits from previous owners of the titans are possible and real. Eren is almost entirely sure that Armin’s affection purely came from Bertholdt. Eren had the same lingering feelings too. Bursts of instincts and thoughts that came out of nowhere. He feels weird with his hair short. All he thinks of his mother is not her love anymore, but guilt. So he clutches the feelings he knows are his own. New as it is, his feelings for Armin are one of the things he’s confident in. One of few.

He’s a compilation of previous Attack Titans now, but he’s still him. Eren is more than a shell, more than a pawn. Still his own self. Still Eren Jaeger. Still his mother’s son.

“Still human.”

“What?”

Eren snaps back and sees Mikasa’s searching eyes. They’re helping around Historia’s orphanage again. The horse he’s brushing is nudging him to continue where he left off.

“Nothing,” Eren mumbles.

Mikasa looks like she wants to say something, but she doesn’t. She drops the hay she was carrying to the feeding bin and steps out of the barn with a worried look.

Eren can’t help but wonder if Armin would’ve said or done something different.

+++

It’s dark, nothing but the moon, the fireflies, and his oil lamp for light. His friends are back at the orphanage having a game night. Eren had said he was tired and wanted to sleep early, then sneaking out to take a walk alone along the dirt path from Historia’s orphanage. Eren feels misplaced in the group, detached. They’re all smiling, having fun, but Eren feels like he’s alone. For all the plan to work, he just needs to keep his mouth shut and trusts Floch and Yelena to carry on the plan.

Eren wishes he could tell someone. Wishes that it didn’t have to be genocide. Wishes he could live to see his dreams coming true and live for them. Wishes he has someone... just someone to cry on. To share his fear because Eren is terrified-

“Eren?”

He didn’t hear anyone coming, he was that deep into his head. Of course, it’s Armin, and of course, he looks worried.

“Oh,” Armin says, sad. “You don’t have to hide when you needed to cry.”

Eren takes a deep breath, taps his face, and turns out the dampness in his face was not from the humidity.

“Talk to me,” Armin is close to begging, but not quite enough for Eren to fold.

Eren can’t talk to Armin, or he’ll say it all, undo a nail in the dam and all the water will break through. All the fears nearly choke him to death if he lets it.

“Do you have small dreams?” Eren asks because he can’t handle doing the talking.

“I do,” Armin says easily. He gestures to one of the trees facing the clearing Eren was heading towards. They sit there, watching the sparse clouds moves. “The sea is one of them,” Armin says once they sat, the oil lap turned off. The moon is full, Eren can see every detail of Armin’s face.

“What else?”

“Well there’s the mountains, and the snowy dunes, Onyakopon says it’s called the artic... I want to travel the world.” Armin looks to the moon with his hopeful eyes, and Eren’s heart is pulled.

Yanked painfully.

“You can do that,” Eren says, trying to smile.

“How about you?”

Eren looks down to his hands, “I’m not a dreamer like you,” He lied terribly, “It’s hard to, isn’t it? We’re still in the middle of the war, there’s a chance we won't make it.” I won’t make it.

Armin furrowed his eyebrows, “This is not the Eren I know,” his voice rising, “The Eren I know won’t give up until he has vengeance! His goals and hopes and dreams! Until he’s free! The Eren I know is always brave!”

Eren grits his teeth, his dead dreams flash in his eyes. “Fine! I’m a coward! I’m setting my expectations realistic Armin! We can’t always have what we want because we’re tied with obligations-”

��Why does it matter! Why is it ever the reason we stopped dreaming, huh?” Armin rises to his knees, looking down at Eren with fury coated with shadows. The moon looms upon his blond hair, tears falling down his face. “And we’re all scared Eren! I don’t think I ever stopped being scared since a Titan peeked from the walls of our home and literally kicked the gate open... the Titan that I am now.” His voice weakens, hands by his side shaking in balled fists.

Eren wants to touch him. Pull him to sit down, wipes his tears, pull him into his arms, curled into him, because yes, Eren is scared too, more than he’s sane to handle sometimes.

“But being brave means that we keep trying despite being scared... Being brave means that we have something to push through fear. That’s why we can’t stop hoping, having dreams! You can’t stop hoping Eren!” Armin sits back down, hands clenching on Eren’s shoulder. “Don’t give up on them! If you do... then... then what do you fight for?” Armin’s voice is broken and desperate.

“For all of you,” Eren says weakly, “I told you that before. I want all of you to be free.”

“But what about you!” Armin shakes his shoulder, “What about your dreams for you!”

“There’s none! Alright?!” Eren snaps, gripping Armin’s hands, and pushes him away. His breath is fast and shallow. A bundle of nerves wanting to run. Stars break behind his lids

“Eren, please!” Armin clutch his wrist, “You have to have something to live for. Don’t...” Armin’s broken voice makes Eren look, not surprised to see Armin looking heartbreakingly sad. “Don’t throw your life away so easily! I know our years are numbered and no one can tell whether we die in this war or not... but I’d-I’d... if we found peace within our years, I’d... want to spend however little left of my life with you.”

A sob came out first before the tears, Eren can’t hold it back. He’s been clutching everything hard so close to his heart that he just couldn’t hold himself together anymore. He wanted to say it all, lay the sins he hasn’t committed, and be loved despite so. He knows Armin would, and he would help. Eren wouldn’t be alone, but he can’t.

Armin will have his dream come true, having peace in his lifetime.

Armin’s war will be over in a few years.

Eren’s war will never end, not till he dies.

“Please, don’t let me hope,” Eren begged.

“But-”

“I can’t have small dreams, I just couldn’t!” Eren snaps again, throwing up all his anger in his throaty scream, “I can’t! I tried Armin but I kept wanting more. I want more and everything! Nothing is ever enough and this fucking war is...” this fucking fate, her fucking wish, “It’ll take everything from me.”

“No, not yet,” Armin says solemnly with new determination, face still wet from crying. “I have a plan okay? Don’t you trust me?”

Eren is thrown again between pain and anger. His scowl rained down with tears. “You know I do!” I’ll betray you but you’ll pull through, I believe you will. “This has nothing to do with it. We... it just... I can’t...”

“Tell me what it is,” Armin begs, “I’ll help it come true, I’ll help in any way I can. Please.” Those honest eyes look at him, tear down the walls he puts up. Why does Armin always make him hopeful? Even though Eren has nothing left in his future? Why?

Why after years of guarding his desires, one look from Armin unravel him instantly?

His heart finally bare of walls, hands clenched so tightly they shake, Eren screamed his soul out, “I WANT TO BE FREE!”

He screams so loud to the blank indifferent sky that his voice echoes. He hadn’t dared voiced that dream of him anymore, knowing he’ll never have it. It was all he wanted, but there’s a chain of fate in his neck.

Even though he’s chained, doesn’t mean he’s muffled. Not anymore, his heart yearns openly. “I want... I want a life! A long life with someone I love. A cabin in a large space in the forest, where the air feels cool in our lungs. I want kids on my own, I want to grow old with someone! Someone that loves me despite who I am,” despite what I’m about to do. “I just want to be myself.... not a weapon, not a soldier, not a tool.” Not fate’s fool. “I just want to live... build a life, build a home, be with someone that cherishes me for me.”

Eren makes a mistake in looking at Armin, finding the blue eyes mimicking the heavy rain pouring from Eren’s. The worst is the despairing look on Armin’s face, the full mournfulness of the usually boyish hopeful look.

Eren’s mouth still loose, the adrenaline from the truth makes him brave, “I want... I want more than just a kiss.” Armin’s expression doesn’t change, still in that heartbroken despair, it’s like he’s not surprised. “I want to go... spend time with you... more than-than just a friend.” At that, Armin finally looks surprised.  Eren’s face burns, but it’s easier to say without the suspense of how well Armin is going to take it. Whether it’s a yes or no, the answer is already chosen by circumstances.

“You-You’d want that?” Armin’s tone in disbelieve.

“Yeah,” he croaks, already sore from screaming.

“I thought...” Finally, Armin looks down, “I thought you were just curious about the kiss, not necessarily me.”

“Well... both of that. The kiss and... you.”

Out of nowhere, Armin barks a laugh, stilling Eren looking at him like he’s crazy. “Geez, I should’ve known. You’re really an all-or-nothing guy.”

“You say it like it’s a bad thing,” Eren pouts.

“No, not bad, but by gods, your actions can be baffling sometimes,” Armin smiles. Oh if only he knew.

It’s eerie how they can fall to banter easily, smoothly, and Eren can’t help to imagine a lifetime of this. He tamps it down instantly.

Eren feels oddly lighter, but he knows tomorrow he won’t. He’ll mull about tonight, and nothing will be done about it, then it’ll add to the list of things he broods about.

“Wait,” Armin says, before Eren gets to ask what, a pair of lips landed on him. It’s more chaste than before because Eren still put up his guard. It’s still too sweet and Eren still got poisoned.

They lean back, flushed and a bit breathless. Armin is flustered, nervous, but Eren is carefully stoic, which means he’s despaired.

“You didn’t have to do that for me,” Eren clips.

“Unlike you, I’m more selfish.”

“You didn’t even like me like that.”

“You don’t know that.”

“And Annie?”

Armin sighs, “I don’t know why... but I just feel if we could’ve had time, me and her could be something.” Eren knows the reason, an indescribable instinct. “But Eren,” His hand grips Eren’s, pinning Eren at place with his gentle touch. “Annie and I didn’t become anything. She’s frozen in a crystal, and you’re here.”

Eren should feel like chopped liver, really, but why is he hopeful instead?

“And I want you.”

Eren watches his best friend, watches closely. Their transparency towards each other goes both ways.

“I know maybe... my feelings aren’t as deep as yours yet, but I still want you.”

Eren finds no lie, and it’s harder to not let his soul soars in joy. Yet.

“Nothing can come out of this.”

“Who says?”

“Armin...”

“See the smaller picture,” Armin put his hands on Eren’s face and his mind stops. “I know you’d always want more, but isn’t having something small is better than not having anything at all? Did you ever regret kissing me the first time?”

“No.” Eren knows he’s utterly defeated yet again by Armin’s wits.

“Would the future you regret kissing me some more?”

Eren weakly smiles, “I-I think future me will thank present me.”

“Well.”

They both lean in this time, knowing what to expect, but still getting surprised by what they get.

Their third kiss is better, both of them anticipate it, both of them wanting. They know better how to slot their bodies together. Their lips were a bit chapped, tasting like the apple pie they had for dessert today. Their hands move more confidently. Eren goes along Armin’s back and jaw, feeling the newly shaved undercut. Armin’s fingers go to his nape, feeling his grown-out hair. Those fingers trail down Eren’s chest and pull his shirt.

Suddenly Eren’s backed against the tree trunk. Momentarily they part their lips, just to look. Eren doesn’t know what Armin is finding that makes him blush and doe-eyed, but what Eren finds is that Armin wants him too. Armin, who could’ve waited for Annie, who could’ve had anyone, wants Eren. No genetic conditioning. No previous titans making him like Eren. This is Armin as he is, wanting Eren as he is.

That’s all he needs. It’s all he wants.

Eren is wanted. Not as a tool. Not as a weapon. Not his power.

Just Eren.

When they kiss again, skin touch skin. Hands pressing on pulses. Their breathing sound loud in the dead of the night. No one is listening but them.

No one stopping them.

In the protective cradle of the forest, they finally get to be curious teens fooling around.

++++

They’re not anything, but not nothing either.

Something noticeably changed between them, but it’s not hard to hide what they are when even they are not sure what they are.

They have nothing but stolen kisses, sneaking out in the night to spend time alone. They don’t really talk, just touches that keep getting bolder. Eren’s feet coming up Armin’s legs under the table as he explains strategies. A hand on Eren’s inner thigh at a group dinner. Sex in the closet. Disappearing at night. Sneaking into each other’s room. Sneaking out in the morning.

Eren admits that feeding his hunger is exhilarating, he’s never felt this alive since he sees the future. Eren would never admit that this happiness scares him.

Eventually, the carpet will be pulled from under his feet, and Eren will have no one to blame but himself.

But Armin was right. Small dreams coming true are still better than dead dreams. Eren is living in his little secret of peacefulness whenever he’s pulled aside where no one can see them.

“Eren,” Armin murmurs, voice hoarse, curling towards Eren for warmth. Eren pulls the blanket over their naked shoulders, shimmying closer. He nuzzles on top of blond hair and smells the sun. Legs bare and long stretching along with Eren’s, Armin rest his temple against Eren’s. Since when did Armin get this tall? Armin plays with Eren’s shoulder-length hair. Since when did his hair get that long?

How did time pass so fast?

“Go back to sleep, it’s still early,” Eren says with familiar affection, a soft spot dangerously tender. He kisses the top of the blond hair by instinct and felt his heart squeeze. He wants to keep Armin here, in his arms, forever.

“I can go back to my room if you want,” Armin offers sleepily, knowing that Eren has been having difficulty sleeping, but not knowing the real reason why.

“Never, stay,” Eren feels a lump in his throat, small mercy grants him for it not to show.

They’re in Eren’s room at the furthest corner of the house that’s far inside the woods. They’re here for Titan experiments, the only other people in the house are Hanji and her assistant.

The window curtains are parted so they can see each other, can’t risk the lamp on to alarm anyone. As always, whenever they’re together, the moon is their only witness.

Eventually, the carpet is pulled from under his feet, Eren has no one to blame but himself. Still, his small dream coming true is still better than nothing at all, Armin was right, nothing surprising there.

He tucked Armin closer to him, caressing his back languidly, not wanting to let go ever. Tears building up his eyes, chest contracting, heart pounding, crying silently.

“I love you, Armin,” Eren says, as clear as saying hello in broad daylight. The body in his arm tensed. Blue eyes still bright even in the dark, open wide in shock, but the softness in his expression means Armin at least expected it.

For a while they say nothing, just stare and touch. Eren’s hands snake up to cup Armin’s jaw that keeps getting more defined. Both of them are nineteen, still growing, and Eren can never see what a handsome man Armin will grow into. Will he keeps his soft features? Or will he has a growth spurt to grow really tall and broad-shouldered? Eren will never have the answer.

But Eren has this.

This Armin that’s his. This Armin wants him. This Armin gave his firsts to Eren and given Eren’s firsts. He’ll take it, he’ll keep it till the day he dies.

Small dreams partially coming true. Is it still better than dead dreams?

“You don’t have to say anything,” Eren adds, knowing he still visits Annie, still has indescribable feelings for her. It doesn’t stop Eren leaning to kiss him by the sunlight roots. This part of Armin will forever be his, Annie can have the rest of Armin’s life.

Armin nuzzles closer, face buried in the crook of his neck. Shaky breaths hit Eren’s skin, arms tightening around his torso.

“I wish we have more time,” Armin’s voice broke, “I wish we’re not.... here.”

Eren hugs him closer, letting his heart falls. He knows Armin doesn’t mean it the same way as Eren would, but he lets himself wishing for it too. Wishing that this was another world, in another time, where they can be something and have more than a decade to live.

“I know. Me too.” Eren doesn’t let himself sob, so he just curled.

They say nothing more. Just holding each other until they fall asleep.

Or, only until Armin does.

Eren counts the seconds to his deep breaths before detaching himself from Armin. He doesn’t look away from Armin, not even when he picked up his clothes from the floor and dresses. Eren let one more tear escape as he put one last kiss on Armin’s temple and lips. Eren tucks him under the blanket and closes the curtains so the morning light won't be too harsh on him.

One last look before he closes the door, let his chest cave in, nurse the hurt that’ll last his short lifetime. Eren takes a deep breath, wipes his tears, and closes the door gently. Too weak for goodbyes.

Eren sneaks out into the stables, sushing the horse with pets and apples he stole from the pantry. Cloak on, hiding his face, he rides out into the pier where Yelena and Floch are waiting for him there.

Eren retraces his plan with Floch, and goes out on the boat with Yelena towards Marley. She hands him the Eldian uniform that fits him suspiciously well. Eren doesn’t hesitate to pierce one of his eyes and cut his leg.

When he’s finally at the Eldian camp, the despair in his eyes is barely acting.

++++

++++

+++

When they meet again, Armin sees him with nothing but betrayal.

No love left there to scavenge.

But, once upon a time, Eren was wanted for the human he is by someone who could’ve chosen anyone.

Those eyes had looked at him fondly. He was precious to someone.

His small dream did come true.

[epiphany333]

Shingeki no Kyojin Ending

This was something...

I guess I’ll start with what I liked

1. Levi is alive, he could see his comrades one last time and is in company of Gabi and Falcon, he finally has people on his side who won’t leave him.

2. Armin looks good after the three years.

3. Eren showed the world to Armin, that’s beautiful.

4. Gabi and Falco reuniting and Gabi yeeting him.

And I think that’s it, I’m sorry but I can’t find anything else. I don’t want to hate, instead I’ll give my reasons for disliking the ending and how some of those issues could have been solved. I want to add that I’m not a shipper nor did I have an specific way I wanted the manga to end.

1. If the reveal is that Eren always still was the same person from part 1 and was just putting a front, it isn't character regression (which is a valid way to write a character) it is just a stagnant character who didn’t evolve and didn’t learn anything. It would have been better if we at least got to see this Eren’s inner conflicts and feelings from his pov all this time instead of creating a mistery about his motivations because the way it is now it’s just too jarring, seeing Eren act the opposite way to how he was 1-2 chapters before, and contradicting everything he say or though before that point. that's why people call it character assassination, his development is dropped and didnt exist in the first place and we didnt see anything about the real Eren under the facade. Eren is stagnant character, no character regression, no character development.

2. Eren’s feelings for mikasa came out of nowhere, there weren’t enough hints from Eren’s side, their bond could have been written to be stronger and more intimate, like show us Eren trusting and respecting mikasa, valuing her company, noticing some virtue of hers, remembering the moments he spent with her fondly, instead we got Eren ignoring her and calling her annoying, and being mad for depending on her. Nothing indicated he cared about her in a different manner for her than he did for Armin. People are defending this bringing up the same 4 eremika moments, the majority of which are so subtle they cant even be called subtext, or saying that it was obvious. Why? Because she was the lead female in love with the protagonist? If you have to rely on common tropes instead of an actual development of their relationship to prove that this was bound to happen then the writing of the pairing isn’t that good.

3. Why does romantic love solve a story founded on the themes of war, genocide, racial discrimination, opression and uprising, a philanthropic love for humanity being the answer would have been better thematically. 4. Eren didn’t have any coherent motive or goal because he was resigned to being a slave of fate, it could have been written and executed better. If you’re going down the route of Eren still being the same boy then develop him from his point of view so that the expectator can see it instead of revealing it at last moment for shock value, or you could go down another route, for example post timeskip Eren who tries to evade fate but can’t,  every action takes him closer to the outcome he wanted to evade, that would be a tragic hero slave of his own flaws.

5. Ymir being in love with her torturer being the foundation of all the story is disappointing and stupid, she needed to see a soap opera to let go after 2000 years. And why did she chose Mikasa and Eren? wasn’t there any other person in 2000 that went through the same character arc Mikasa did?  the scale of the things that had to happen for her to rest in peace is too disproportionated, it makes everything we went through just for her to look absurd, are you telling me this was worth eldians being historically oppresed and murdered and 80 percent of the population being killed just so a girl could move on? This makes all the great points of this story and the sacrifices to look pointless in retrospective.

5. Eldia is a glorified fascist state, Historia is a fascist monarch, her character isn’t relevant anymore, we never get to see her point of view so she looks like a genocide supporter.

6. The ending absolves Eren and condemns him at the same time, making him look pathetic yet as a hero who did what nobody else dared to do, he was treated as a one and forgiven by everybody.

7. They didn’t hold anbody accountable, nor Reiner, or Annie or Pieck, nobody. Remember how annie took pleasure on killing and said she didn’t regret anything? Well the other characters don't. At least Reiner and Pieck regret it, which doesn’t mean they should welcome with open arms, that’s not how humans work. We could have the rest of the cast resenting them, or being conflicted about still liking them without having to take revenge nor become friends with them, it would have given a better message this way.

8. The Lelouch ending doesn’t work because Eren is eldian. Lelouch was a britannia monarch, convincing everyone that Britannia was bad,and Zero, the face of the japanese revolution kills him, making everyone see the japanese as the good side. The world hated them for things their ancestors allegedly did, what will they think about eldians now that they lived through Eren’s destruction?His plan doesn’t make sense.

9. Eren didn’t have to be this cringy, we knew he was pathetic but damn, he killed so many people and is whining about Mikasa more than about the lives he took. We still could have had a breakdown, but it toning down so that it doesn’t seem jarring. Armin stated that it was Mikasa’s answer what decided the way Eren would act, and it doesn’t make sense? Eren must have known Mikasa loved him because he repeatedly has shown he can understand romantic love, but even if he didn’t, all that took for Eren to start the rumbling was Mikasa family-zoning him? This breaks his character apart, and looks melodramatic, because now she has to live with that knowledge and feel guilty for it.

10. Turning everyone back was a mistake, it cheepens their death because it was solved so fast. There’s a reason why a writing rule (that almost every writer ignores) is that if youre going to kill a character, you need a solid reason or use for them to come back to life.

11. It doesn’t seem like mikasa moved on. Her doing what had to be done and her moving on are different things, we don’t get a clue if Mikasa found herself and her worth outside of eren, the kind of living she made for herself from were we left, nothing.

12. They made my man Reiner so dirty in just a panel, acting like he was still a teenage soldier after all he went through. you would think that he would approach love in a different way after growing as a character, but no he’s just a simp, and a creepy one.

[chenziee]

Swipe left, please

[Read on my AO3 (link in blog description) or by copypasting link below, or under the cut]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26932909

Fandom: Shingeki no Kyojin Ship: Jean/Armin Rating: General audiences Words: 2643 Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Airports, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Minor Levi/Eren Yeager, jean is smitten, Because of course he is, Tinder, but not really, jean is a very responsible working adult, armin is a very responsible PhD student, you can interpret those words however you want, hanji is not a responsible lab boss, don't be like hanji in a lab

Summary: Getting stuck at the airport for hours because of the weather was the last thing Jean wanted today, but it was what he got and honestly, if it meant he could chat with this cute guy who swept a hard 'no' on Jean's Tinder for longer, he wouldn't say no to a few more hours.

Based on a twitter post which I don’t know how to dig up.

----------

This is a birthday gift for the sweetest, most precious @roxi4 <3 I’ve said this a lot of times but I love you so much and I wish I could personally beat 2021 into submission so that it’s the best goddamn year of your life for you. But, sadly, I’m not a god yet so I gotta settle for writing fics for now. 

Also yes, I am posting here like two weeks late because I’m lazy I’m sorry.

----------

Jean glared at the departure board, wishing he could set it on fire just like that. He understood things like this happened; he could see the heavy rain and wind outside—and people called this spring? Jean demanded a refund—so really, it could have been much worse, but a three hour delay for his three hours and thirty-five goddamned minutes flight was absolutely ridiculous and only slightly rage inducing.

He sighed in frustration and, grabbing his suitcase, he turned away to head to the closest coffee shop. He needed a damn coffee. Preferably spiked or with 8 shots of espresso, he’d decide in the line.

This was seriously so stupid. He had spent an entire week on this business trip and he was tired and the only thing he wanted was getting home to his cat and passing the hell out. At least the Melbourne airport was decent enough and he could safely be bored out of his mind with as much coffee as he needed without worrying he’d catch tetanus like he was at a certain American airport a few years ago. He would take his comfort where he could at this point.

Finally, he managed to order his coffee with only two extra espresso shots—he didn’t want to seem like that much of a psycho but the barista didn't even blink at his order and Jean had to wonder what weird shit the people at a busy airport had to deal with—and headed to the corner of the departure hall that seemed the quietest. There were only a few people loitering around there, all looking just as exhausted as Jean felt. Seemed like Jean would fit right in with their collective coma.

Making his way to one of the empty seats, Jean had to weave his way through the maze of suitcases until one of them caught his attention. Or, more specifically, the book laying carefully bookmarked and discarded on it. Who in their right mind read what looked like an entire fucking encyclopaedia full of words Jean probably couldn't even pronounce while waiting on their plane? No wonder the owner put it aside eventually.

Jean inadvertently looked up at the person sitting next to the suitcase and he did a double take. He had expected some old fart, the type that just screamed of a dreadfully boring college professor who preferred his test tubes or calculations to his students—or people in general, really—not this… tiny, adorable, small animal type of guy who, from his profile, looked around Jean’s age or even younger.

He took in the young man’s small frame, the short, blond hair, and the way he sat cross legged on the hard, uncomfortable airport chair and Jean couldn’t get over how cute the sight was. He was really glad the other man was so engrossed in his phone because even Jean could tell he was staring      .  

And then something else caught Jean’s eye.

Was that Tinder on his phone? Was that… Jean’s ancient Tinder he was looking at?

Jean felt heat coming up to his face. He hadn’t used the stupid app in years, probably since like... his second year of college. He didn’t even know why he didn’t delete his profile but now he was glad he didn’t because it would be really nice to know if he should even bother trying to strike up conversation here.

With bated breath, Jean waited for the verdict. He watched as if in slow motion as the blond’s thumb moved to touch the screen and swiped—

Left.

Of course it was left.

Unable to stop himself, an awkward laugh forced its way past his lips and he heard himself say, “Hard no for him?”

Even the way he jumped at Jean’s words was cute. And when wide, impossibly blue eyes met his own, Jean felt his stomach drop. Damn, this left swipe really hurt. Jean really had a talent for getting his heart broken before he even had the chance to try. First Mikasa, now this. Did someone up there have something against him?

A few silent, painfully awkward seconds of the two of them just staring at each other passed, until the blond opened his mouth to speak, “If it makes you feel any better, your profile pic really doesn’t do you any favours.”

Jean groaned. Of course. He knew he shouldn’t have let Eren choose his picture, the absolute asshole. He couldn’t believe he still called this guy a friend. Getting roomed with him at the dorm in college was seriously the worst thing to happen in his life.  

“Thanks, I guess,” Jean said lamely, sheepishly scratching at the back of his head. Could this get any more awkward?

The other guy laughed then, and it was the sweetest laugh Jean had ever heard. “You’re welcome,” he said, smirning at Jean as he held out his hand. “I’m Armin. Jean, right?”

Jean shook Armin’s hand, almost asking where he had learned his name but managing to stop himself at the last second. They literally just talked about Jean’s embarrassing Tinder profile for God’s sake.

“Nice to meet you,” he said instead, hoping that was a better way to go about it than making a bigger idiot out of himself.

Thankfully, it seemed like it was, as Armin gestured to the empty seat next to him and Jean gratefully took it, making himself as comfortable as he could in the stupid airport chair. Seriously, why were airport chairs always so uncomfortable? People were sitting on these for hours at a time every day, one would think someone would make sure their asses were not hurting. Although, now that he thought about it, cushioned chairs probably wouldn’t last very long—or stay reasonably sanitary, for that matter. It was probably a good thing his ass hurt already.

Jean took his first, long-overdue sip of his coffee before he gestured towards Armin’s suitcase. “Interesting book you’ve got there. Wanted a bit of light reading?”

Armin paused, looking at Jean as if he was trying to figure him out. “Please tell me that was an intentional Harry Potter reference,” he said after a moment. Oh, Jean was so happy he had caught that.

“Maybe,” he only replied, hiding his smirk behind his coffee cup.

Huffing in amusement, Armin glanced at his terrifying looking book instead. “Just trying to do some research for my final thesis. But I have to admit some people really can’t write in an interesting way even when talking about interesting topics.”

“Hear, hear,” Jean muttered. “Some people really shouldn’t be allowed to publish books, especially if they then make people study from those.” He still remembered the pain from school. He particularly enjoyed the teachers who required the students read their own God-awful books. It was always a guarantee for the most boring read of the year.

“I know!” Armin cried, gesturing around in frustration and Jean couldn’t help but smile at the sight. “I can’t wait to finish my Ph.D. so I that can not read the things I don’t want to.”

Jean chuckled at his enthusiasm. He really had to love his field of study to get this passionate about shitty books. “What are you studying?” he asked curiously.

“Marine biology,” Armin beamed, making Jean gulp.

Ocean. Fish. Corals. That was about as much as his humble business management brain knew about marine biology. Couldn’t really impress with that, could he? “And you’re doing a PhD. in that?”

Armin nodded. “Yeah. Actually, I’m just coming back home from giving a guest lecture at the university."

"Melbourne university?" Jean asked, raising a brow. He kind of hoped he was wrong and he wasn't just casually chatting with some up and coming scientist celebrity.

"Yeah," Arming confirmed and blushed slightly.

"Damn, that's impressive," Jean admitted, though now he was positive that if Armin started talking science to him, he wouldn't understand a word.

Armin's eyes dropped as he looked away, obviously embarrassed by the praise, then he shrugged and quietly replied, "Not really. This stuff is really easy when you have good teachers."

Jean shook his head. "Nah, if you don't have it in you, it doesn't matter how good a teacher is. You can kiss any degree goodbye then, never mind giving lectures."

He heard Armin huff in amusement and goddamn it, it gave him butterflies. He was so fucked.

"Thank you," the blond said, smiling at Jean brightly before he continued. "How about you? Where to?"

Jean sighed wearily, sagging in his seat as he remembered his exhaustion. "Also home. On my way back from an absolutely stupid business trip."

"Why stupid?" Armin asked as he turned around in his seat to face Jean properly.

Jean mirrored him immediately, hooking one arm behind the backrest as he leaned on the chair sideways. He really enjoyed talking to this random, sweet stranger and he was really glad it seemed to be mutual. He was going to hate saying goodbye.

Suddenly, he wouldn't have minded if his flight got delayed a few more hours.

"Just, you know, people," Jean muttered in distaste. "One would think only customers can be complete idiots. Turns out coworkers can sometimes be even worse."

Armin laughed at his words, nodding along enthusiastically. "God I know. Sometimes I want to kill the doctor leading my lab. Hanji’s a genius but there is so much energy and she can be so stupid. She almost blows up or floods the lab at least once a week."

"I'm sorry, that must be so hard to deal with—" Jean cringed in sympathy at the mere idea of it— "Reminds me of my team. I love them but once in a while, I just want to fire them all when they start organizing paper boat races in the bathroom. Paper boats made from paperwork they don't want to do, by the way."

"Ouch." Armin sounded solemn but Jean could hear the hidden laughter and he just knew he found Sasha and Connie's stupid ideas hilarious. Which… Jean could admit they were, just not when he was the one who then had to explain the mess and unfinished work to his boss.

“Stop laughing,” Jean hissed, though with no real venom in his voice.

“I’m not!” Armin defended himself, but then burst out laughing when Jean glared at him so he quickly corrected himself, “Okay, yeah, I am. Sorry.”

He didn’t sound sorry at all and Jean sighed. “Everyone always finds my suffering funny.”

Armin let him grumble to himself for a bit, the two of them sitting in relative silence for a moment and… it wasn’t uncomfortable. It was actually relaxing and Jean really didn’t want this to end. “So hey—” He paused, glancing at Armin carefully, almost afraid to ask— “when is your flight?”

“Hopefully, in like two and a half hours. Got delayed almost as long as the flight itself.”

Jean almost said it was the same for him but he stopped. Could it be…? “You’re not flying to Auckland, are you?”

Armin visibly startled, blinking at Jean with eyes full of surprise. “Yes, actually,” he said slowly and Jean couldn’t believe it. He had thought he would never see this this cute, fun person ever again but—

“Me, too,” he said quietly and the two of them continued staring at each other in shock for a few moments more until they both burst out laughing.

Incredible. They were both flying to the same place and they would be within reach of each other and maybe there was a point in actually pursuing this. “So, uhm, wanna grab a coffee?” Jean asked awkwardly, pointing in the general direction of the food court.

And only when Armin looked pointedly at his pointing hand, did Jean realize he was still holding his over-caffeinated coffee cup. He really hoped his face wasn’t as on fire as it felt.

Armin only chuckled, thankfully not commenting on Jean’s blunder, and rather suggesting, “How about some actual food instead?”

-------------

By the time they got off the plane in Auckland, Jean was on cloud nine as he gently squeezed Armin’s hand in his. Jean was still not sure this was real; they had spent the entire time at the airport and during their flight chatting—not that they had miraculously had seats next to each other like in the movies, but Jean did bribe an older lady with wine to switch seats with him—and it was the best damn flight delay he could have asked for.

It felt so natural and easy being with Armin, he couldn’t wait to get to know him more during their date tomorrow, and hopefully many more after. Because Jean would be lying if he said he wasn’t completely gone for this charming, adorable genius already.

As they walked through the exit into the arrival hall together, Armin immediately waved at his friend who was picking him up. Jean had offered to give him a ride since he had his car parked at the airport but Armin had said this friend of his would be worried if he just suddenly cancelled and—

Oh hell no.

Jean stared at the tall, young man with long hair tied up in a messy bun who was walking towards them, watching as his wide smile froze when their eyes met. Of fucking course. Jean just couldn’t have any nice things in life, could he?

“Unhand my best friend, Horse Face,” Eren growled and Jean took a deep breath in an effort to calm down.

It didn’t work. “Unhand my boss, then,” he shot back, throwing a pointed stare at where Eren had his arm wrapped around the short, grumpy man who just so happened to be both Jean’s boss and his ex-roommate’s boyfriend. Levi was already sighing and rolling his eyes at them and Jean really hoped this wouldn’t affect his bonus this quarter.

But Eren started it.  

“You have no say in that,” Eren hissed, visibly bristling as his hold on Levi only tightened.

“Oh, so you admit it’s unreasonable?” Jean asked, his voice dripping in sarcasm.

Jean could hear Armin gasp as he finally realized what was going on. Obviously, he also didn’t expect this to happen and Jean was glad he wasn’t the only one. Although, really, how did it not occur to Jean that Armin was that Armin? It wasn’t exactly a common name around Auckland…

Just as Eren was getting ready to snap back at him, both Levi and Armin sighed before Levi intervened, “Shut the hell up, both of you. Have this fight when I’m not around for it or I’m talking Armin and leaving your asses here.”

“I second this movement,” Armin said firmly tugging at Jean’s hand for good measure.

Both Eren and Jean closed their mouths then, both knowing full well that was not an empty threat coming from the short grump. Not that Jean wouldn’t get back by himself but he would be stuck with driving Eren, too, without anyone there to mediate, and that would be a disaster.

They glared at each other silently for a second, until Eren hissed at him, “Usual bar, tonight. We’re having a talk.”  

“I’ll be there, I need a fucking drink after this,” Jean muttered back, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

Giving Armin a kiss on the cheek, Jean quickly retreated out of Eren’s glare’s range and towards his car so that he could get some fucking sleep before he would go out and get drunk while Eren threatened him with violence for apparently seducing his best friend, or whatever Eren would take out of this… situation. How did shit like this even happen in real life? He seriously wondered what he did in his past life to get karma like this.

At least Armin was worth it.

[snkpolls]

SnK S3E21 Poll Results (Manga Reader Version)

The poll closed with 260 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that these are the results of the manga reader poll. Anime only watchers are suggested not to read if you do not wish to be spoiled about certain events! Anime only viewers, click here to view your poll results!

RATE THE EPISODE 251 Responses

As usual, the episode received good ratings! A small minority could have been more impressed, but overall people were happy.

It was great, another 10/10 episode. My only gripe is that they should've cut the opening this time as well to have more time to put some great dialogues from the manga.

A bit bummed that quite a bit of lines from the manga didn't make it into the episode, but otherwise pretty damn good. 

Great one, though not as great as the previous one.

Some shots were not 1 to 1 to the manga, which was a bit sad, but overall the episode was amazing!

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS THE MOST IMPRESSIONABLE MOMENT? 255 Responses

Kruger bringing up Armin and Mikasa to Grisha was voted as the most notable scene from this episode. Behind that at 18.4% was the “Attack Titan” name drop moment. Kruger encouraging Grisha to carry out his mission came at a distant third with only 5.7% of the vote.

Everyone joking about Eren’s phase was hilarious. The lampshading of generic anime protag behaviour was great.

The end gave me c h i l l s. I loved how the outro started playing in the last little bits of krugers and grishas conversation and how the outro imagery was changed to  titan history images instead. That whole scene was such a pleasant surprise.

KRUGER SAID EVIL AND GOOD PEOPLE ONLY EXIST IF THAT’S WHAT THEY ARE CALLED. DO YOU BELIEVE THIS? 253 Responses

Just over half of respondents believe that “good” and “evil” are typically subjective terms, although there are a few who are objectively one or the other. 40.7% feel that “good” and “evil” are always subjective no matter what. A small 7.1% feel that “good” and “evil” are entirely objective with no room for argument.

Kruger's "you can be a god or demon depending on what you claim" is maybe the most overrated line in the story. He's musing on the fallibility of historical narrative and the ease with which people are deceived and made ignorant, not making some grand statement that there is no real morality.

DO YOU THINK GRISHA WAS THE RIGHT CHOICE FOR KRUGER TO ENTRUST THE TITAN POWER? 254 Responses

The vast majority of respondents feel that Grisha was a suitable successor of the Attack Titan after Kruger, while 18.5% aren’t certain he was the right choice.

WHAT IS THE BEST NAME FOR EREN’S TITAN? 255 Responses

69% percent (lol) of respondents prefer the official English name, “Attack Titan.” 18.8% prefer the literal translation of “Shingeki no Kyojin” as “Advancing Titan.” A few fans still prefer Eren’s long-time fandom label as the “Rogue Titan.” A few write-ins also had some fun takes:

American Titan, because he loves Freedom

Bedhead Titan

F R E E D O M TITAN

Crotchless sex on legs.

Elfian Titan / Elf Titan

Attacking Titan

Grisha, this titan has a name, it is Best Ass Titan.

WHAT ARE PATHS? 254 Responses

What are paths though? Like seriously? Okay, but seriously, 35.4% of respondents feel that they are metaphysical threads of fate. Closely behind at 32.7%, people are simply just confused and still can’t wrap their head around the concept of paths. 25.2% believe that paths are like an invisible highway between time periods. What are paths really, though?

As a manga reader i still don't get what paths are

By Ymir and the walls, every time I think I understand or at least accept paths something comes out of left field and leaves me shooketh.

PATHS IS NOT A SPOILER ANYMORE!!

EREN KRUGER MENTIONED MIKASA AND ARMIN WHEN HE WAS TALKING TO GRISHA - HOW DID HE KNOW THEIR NAMES? 254 Responses

42.9% of respondents feel it can only be explained as paths connecting all Eldians like a thread of fate, something unexplainable. 33.5% believe that Kruger simply tapped into the memories of either Grisha or Eren. 14.6% think that Eren sent this message back in time to Kruger. 

I think its a message passed down through the Attack Titan

Eren confused his own thoughts with the memories

I was always thinking it was someone else talking to Eren and as Eren did something, the memories were sent backwards

The Attack Titan keeps moving forward. It can glimpse further down the line into the fourth dimension.

I don't know, hopefully Isayama will explain this one day.

I noticed during this episode that Kruger looks just like Grisha as both a child and an adult. Perhaps he... is Grisha?

This conversation is a flashback alright ? Then, it’s only Eren’s wish interfering with the flashback. It’s actually Eren’s actual mind which is deforming the thing

If the theory of the time loop is real, maybe that's how the message kinda got sent, similarly how Eren got glimpses of his future when he was a kid. Maybe they've been doing this for so long now that they've tried to send messages through time so that they know what needs to be done.

Kruger was speaking as Grisha, which means he was experiencing Grisha's memory

it's the time loop guys

I have always assumed Eren's memories were mixed up with Grisha's, which is why he'd “remember" Kruger mentioning Armin & Mikasa's names, but now I'm not sure. Maybe "PATHS" really make memories a two way street.

KRUGER SAYS IN ORDER TO STOP THEIR CURSED HISTORY FROM REPEATING, GRISHA MUST LEARN TO LOVE SOMEONE. DO YOU THINK THIS COULD BE GENERAL ADVICE FOR THE REST OF HUMANITY? 253 Responses

We had an almost-tie here, but 43.9% took the lead, with respondents feeling that “love” is a primary method for breaking a cycle of hatred, prejudice and despair. 43.1% feel that while “love” is a nice, flowery solution to the world’s problems, it’s just not that simple. 8.3% aren’t sure either way, and a small amount believe firmly that “love” isn’t a reasonable approach to solving the world’s issues.

NEXT WEEK IS THE FINAL EPISODE OF THIS SEASON - ARE YOU EXPECTING A TEASER FOR THE NEXT SEASON? 256 Responses

52.3% of viewers remain hopeful that we will have a season 4 teaser will happen at the end of the episode, solidifying another season of the anime. 38.7% are confident that a teaser will be present. A small percentage have less optimism.

HOW WELL DID THE EPISODE ADAPT THE CORRESPONDING MANGA CHAPTERS? 252 Responses

This episode didn’t get as many 5/5 rankings as most previous episodes did, with quite a bit of commentary about some of the things that were cut from the adaptation:

I missed the line where Kruger said Marleyans wouldn’t exist if the 1700 years ethnic cleansing really happened. 

Felt a bit rushed and they left quotes from Kruger out which I believe are important. 

They cut way too much of Kruger dialogue. They missed some of the things that made him such an interesting character.

This episode was good as always but I'm mad that they cut a lot from the Kruger and Grisha scene (mainly the mention of Grandpa Jaeger or how marley keep the eldians in the camp as weapons). Those aren't essential but important to add layers and complexify the plot. Kruger speech was what I was looking forward the most  this season…

The Kruger conversation was cut down too harshly imo

I was missing the scene where Kruger tells grisha that his father was a smart man & that he was just trying to prevent losing more of his family.

They decided to cut some of the most important dialogue pieces from this episode, like "a doctor to falsify his blood test”

Less rushed than the previous episode but I really hate how they cropped the entirety of Kruger's involvment. It makes him look like more of a plot device than in the manga: the implications he had an agenda with the restorationists, his view on good vs evil explained (unrealistic ethnic cleansing and unrealistic miracles), how he perceived Grandpa Yeager (a smart man who didn't want his last child to walk on the path to hell)...

The anime also omitted a couple of things: Kruger suspecting Marley would no longer have any use of Eldians in the internment zone if they get the Founder and the past of the Eldian Empire, saying they used titans as weapons of mass destruction. The last one is important as the anime is really biased towards EMA's side.

Some minor dialogue cuts but it's not nearly as bad as manga readers are making it out to be.

DO YOU THINK KRUGER SACRIFICING ELDIANS FOR VITAL INFORMATION IS COMPARABLE TO WHAT EREN MAY BE DOING NOW? 254 Responses

43.3% of manga readers feel that Eren and Kruger’s actions are comparable as necessary evils in order to reach a beneficial goal for everyone. 32.3% feel that while the actions are comparable, the goals may not be. 11.8% feel that there’s not enough evidence to say either way. 7.9% felt that the contexts for both characters are completely different and not comparable.

I think what Kruger.did was more cruel than what Eren is doing now

Need to know Eren’s actual plans tbh.

They both believe that their goal is ultimately right - although I wouldn't necessarily call it beneficial

GIVEN THE MANGA EVENTS, DO YOU BELIEVE EREN IS BEING INFLUENCED BY HIS TITAN’S MEMORIES? 256 Responses

Nearly 40% of respondents feel that Eren is influenced by the memories given to him through his titan part of the time. 32% feel that it is happening always, and 15.2% aren’t sure.

This episode wonder if the nine titans had wills and personalities of their own. It can’t be a coincidence that the Attack Titan always finds its way to Eldians who desire freedom. It also makes me wonder about the way Bertholdt addressed Armin and seemed way different than usual in rts. Mikasa thought that Bertholdt was acting like a different person than they’ve seen. I think the Colossal influenced that behavior and was anticipating a new holder. Perhaps the colossal titan is always in love with the Female Titan also, forcing its holders to have feelings for the female titan holder. Which might explain Armin’s strange behavior in other chapters. This is just rambling and the concept of paths are still confusing though.

Regarding the influence of Titans: I believe everyone is being influenced. Having the memories of a differet person, their experiences and feelings is an influence. Wether they are acting different because of these is a different story. But even then, the current holder is still the one who decides to act different, based on their (now gained) own experiences. It's therefore not different from people changing after going thorugh something horrible themselves. 'influenced' is mostly used as 'being controlled' by this fandom, which I think is simply wrong. So: Yes, he is influenced. No, he is not being controlled.

HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT HISTORIA SEEING YMIR’S BACKSTORY THROUGH PATHS? 256 Responses

33.2% of respondents feel that it was a reasonable way to recap Ymir’s story while also giving closure for her character, while 28.1% found that it only made the concept of paths come off as more confusing. 16.4% feel that this will be touched more on in future manga chapters. 12.1% disagree with WIT’s decision to put Ymir’s backstory in season 2, as opposed to here.

Historia being able to glimpse into Ymir's memories made perfect sense to me. She's done that before with Rod in a moment of emotions running high, so Royal Blood+contact with DNA+strong emotions might have a role. Beyond that, I'm sticking to my belief that paths can be compared to the fourth dimension in spacetime terms. 

I didn't really like the execution of Ymir's letter to Historia. The paths looked kinda cool but it's also a little out of place and just ??? The letter also kind of lost its value as well since it was cut short and seems like Ymir doesn't tell Historia anything about her past as well. Yikes

Did Ymir write the letter with her blood for Historia to see her past ????

The path scene with Historia and Ymir was odd: at the same time the anime isn't at its first when it comes to plot conveniences (sleep darts, berserk Eren), but it's also not the same time Historia got an influx of erased memories at random times (her playtime with Frieda)

I lost it when PATHS activated for Historia

WHAT DID YOU THINK ABOUT YMIR’S FATE BEING IMPLIED IN THE FLASHBACKS? 256 Responses

Nearly 45% of respondents feel that WIT did a good thing by placing the implications of Ymir’s death in this episode, rather than show it as an afternote during the Marley arc. 17.2% wish the scene would have been longer. 14.5% were simply hyped to see Porco’s silhouette. 

I hated how unclear Ymir’s death was. You really couldn’t tell she died without knowing from the manga, and in the manga, it was a really impactful character moment. It really showed how little Ymir cared for herself and submitted to Marley because of her guilt for eating Marcel by accident. 

I think Ymir's death should have been focused on a bit longer, because I saw ppl did not quite catch what happened. Then again, people don't seem to care much about her anyway :(

PORCO THO!!!!

WHICH SCENE FROM THE PREVIEW ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO? 256 Responses

Unsurprisingly, the journey to the sea is the most anticipated moment of the next episode. There are a few who are looking forward to the moments that take place during the ceremony more, though. 

next episode, we will see Hitch again and I'm not ready for that. 

I'm honestly not looking forward anything in the next episode, all the really interesting stuff already happened

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

The pace are a bit weird, they skipped several parts but i think isn't the problem if anime onlies had critical thinking/observation. Overall it's good and i though porco inherited the jaw titan after the timeskip(because how the flashback played in manga) but the anime cleared it and his lifespan is same as armin. 

I noticed that Hanji had referred to Grisha as "Mr. Jaeger" and not Dr. Jaeger. 1) that just doesn't sound right to me. 2) is there any reason for that? I believe earlier in the series they had referred to him as Dr. Jaeger, so why the change? 

Roses are red, PATHS are confusing, this episode was very amusing. Mina's best girl PEACE OUT

I want to hug eren. Both Anime!Eren and manga!Eren. 

I didnt particularly like the way they did the Attack Titan namedrop 

There were so many mistakes with the height of the characters this episode... What is WIT doing?

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 244 Responses

Thanks again to everyone who participated! We’ll see you back in a few days.

[afternoonteawithme]

It was lucky that Eren made so much noise, or Levi would have been lost the moment he stepped out of his yard. Within ten minutes, he was scratched up, itchy with bug bites, and limping.  

He hadn’t known how different real woods were from the neat, carefully planned clumps of trees in the city parks he and his mom had sometimes visited. This forest was messy, uneven all over. Thick trunks and twig-like saplings fought for space, blocking out what was left of the daylight and leaving Levi in a dim fogginess of light that seemed to come from no direction at all.

In the city, trees had soft, trimmed grass underneath, or at least simple bare dirt. When they fell, they weren’t left to slowly, messily, disintegrate back into the ground wherever they’d landed.  

Out here, Levi had quickly discovered that he couldn’t just follow the clinking of Eren’s jars in a straight line. In between the fallen trees were tall patches of skinny weeds that knotted together to form what felt like barbed wire against his bare legs when he tried to force his way through. Instead, he had to carefully pick his way, sometimes backtracking when he ran into a dead end of too-heavy underbrush. It wasn’t easy, and as Levi stepped – yet again – on something that squished up between his toes, he felt the concern that had driven him after Eren mix with more and more irritation.

Fine then. He’d just find out what idiotic thing had brought Eren out here, make sure it wasn’t stupid enough to land him back in the hospital, and then turn right around and head home for a long shower.

He realized he couldn’t hear Eren anymore a split second before he stepped into a small clearing, and saw Eren in front of him.

The mason jars lay discarded on the bank of a small, bubbling creek, next to a pair of muddy sneakers and half rolled-up socks. Eren stood perfectly still, knee deep in the middle of the creek, staring down into the water. He didn’t look as though he’d noticed Levi, and Levi took a half step backwards, ready to head back into the protection of the forest.

But then, without thought, and obeying some instinct he didn’t know, he found himself racing towards the water’s edge, dropping his backpack to the ground as he ran. Even then, he was almost too late – Eren shifted his weight, slipped, and started to go down headfirst into the rocky water. Levi caught hold of one arm, just above the cast, and yanked backwards.

He landed on his back on the bank of the creek, his feet still in the water. A second later Eren’s upper body landed on top of his chest, elbow first.

When Levi was finally able to breathe again, he found curious brown eyes staring down at him, not a trace of alarm in them.  

“Hi. Who are you?” Eren had pushed himself up on his good arm enough that his weight wasn’t on Levi anymore, but otherwise he hadn’t moved away at all.

Levi hadn’t talked to anyone but store clerks in months. He hadn’t meant to ever speak to Eren, and he couldn’t think of anything to say now. So he just shrugged.

“Don’t you know your own name?”

For some reason, it was the simple interest in Eren’s voice, as if it was a perfectly reasonable thing for a person to not know their own name, that made it impossible for Levi to not answer. “No, I know it.”

“Then what is it?”  

“Levi. I’m Levi.”

“Levi? Okay.” Eren grinned down at him. “Mine’s Eren.”

I know. Dropping his eyes away from Eren’s face, Levi shifted sideways on the rocky grass, trying to get a little further away from Eren. “Could you move? You’re in my way.”

Without a word, Eren pushed away, settling cross-legged next to Levi. He stayed quiet as he watched Levi sit up, but a moment later there was a flash of realization on his face. “Oh, I know who you are!”

“What?” Levi felt panic burst in his chest.  

“You’re the kid from next door. Armin said you must be related to Mr. Ackerman and I wanted to go over and check but mom didn’t believe me and she said Mr. Ackerman doesn’t like company so I should just leave him alone.”

“No, that’s…I’m not-”

But whatever he might have managed to say was lost when Eren’s eyes dropped down to Levi’s bare feet. “Wait, where are your shoes?” He scrambled up from the ground, already heading into the water. “Did you lose them in the creek?”

“No, no.” Levi shot straight to his feet, but Eren was already ankle deep before he managed to catch his hand. “You shouldn’t go in there. You can’t get your cast wet, right?”

“Oh, yeah, I forgot.” Eren held up his cast, staring down at it as if he’d forgotten about it entirely, which he probably had. He looked back up at Levi. “So then what happened to your shoes?”

“They ripped on my way here, so I left them behind.”

“Oh. Didn’t you have any others?”

“Of course I did.” There was no way Levi would answer that one honestly. “I was just in a rush.”

“Why?”

Finally remembering how irritated he’d been earlier, Levi scowled at Eren. “I just wanted to make sure you weren’t doing anything stupid. And you were.”

Eren’s eyes widened. “No, I wasn’t!”

“What were you doing in the creek?”

“I was fishing!”

Taken aback, Levi let go of Eren’s hand. “Fishing?”

“Yeah. Armin – my friend Armin - read this book where a bunch of superhero guys lose their powers, and run away from the bad guys, and they survive by catching fish with their bare hands.” The last was said over Eren’s shoulder as he turned and started back into the creek.

“You came out here to catch fish.” It was meant to be a question, but somehow Levi couldn’t make it anything but a bewildered statement.

“No.” Eren splashed into the middle of the creek, his eyes fixed on the water. “I came to catch fireflies. I just remembered the fish thing when I saw the creek.”

Levi was too confused to be irritated anymore. “But – wouldn’t you need two hands? And you have the cast, right?”

“Well yeah.” Eren stopped moving, frowning down at his arm as if he’d forgotten about it, yet again. “That does make it harder.”

“Are there even fish here?”

“I don’t know, I’ve never fished before, how do you tell?”  

“I’ve never fished before either.”

Eren glanced back over his shoulder at Levi, grinning. “Then this is both of our first times.”

Levi managed not to remind Eren he was the only one involved. “Have you caught any?”

“No, but I think I can do it with one hand, if I’m carefu-” Eren stepped onto another rock, slipped, and started to go down.

Darting forward, Levi managed to catch Eren just in time. “I’ll do it.” He found himself saying, as he helped Eren stand back up. “Just- stay out of the water, okay?”

“Really?” Eren studied him for a long minute. This time, when he smiled, it was so bright that Levi had to look away. “Sure!”

Levi stayed where he was, watching Eren splash back out of the creek, wondering what in the world had made him volunteer. Huffing out a breath, he turned back to the water, looking for a good spot to stand.

“So is Mr. Ackerman your uncle?”

Levi froze, but when his eyes shot back to Eren he saw he wasn’t even looking his way. Instead he was frowning down at his broken arm as he rubbed at his shoulder.

 “Did I hurt you when I pulled you out of the creek?” The question was only partly an attempt at changing the subject.

“Huh?” Eren blinked up at Levi, then shook his head. “Not really. It’s always a little sore. My dad says I deserved way worse.”

As Levi turned back to the water, he finally asked what had been bothering him for a long time. “How did you break it?”

“Well.” Eren sat at the edge of the water and started putting his shoes and socks back on. “I saw these guys from my school that were ganging up on a dog.”

“They broke your arm?”

“No, no, they ran off. Actually they were probably running before I got there because the dog had gotten really mad and got loose of the rope they had him tied up with. So they ran, but he ended up chasing me instead.”

“The dog did that to you?”

“Not really. But the dog kept after me for ages, even when I climbed a fence to where there’s this bridge over an old railway track. Armin figured out that’s where I’d end up so he went ahead and put out some meat from our lunches, and Mikasa did this loop thing, so they caught him and tied him to a tree.” Eren finished tying his shoes and picked up one of the mason jars as he stood back up. “Armin got the dog to calm down. He’s really good with animals, I keep telling him he should be a vet, but he wants to be a doctor.” There was a vast amount of disgust in Eren’s voice as he said the last word.

Completely distracted, Levi stood calf deep in water, staring at Eren. “What’s so bad about doctors?”

“Not doctors. People. And if you’re a doctor you have to treat people.” Eren had unscrewed the top of the mason jar and seemed to be hunting around the clearing for something. “They suck, and they lie all the time. Most people, anyway. Not my mom, she’s good, and my dad’s amazing. He’s a really important doctor, so he can be mean to people if he wants to and its okay. And Mikasa and Armin. And I guess Sasha and Connie and Annie. And Jean can go jump in a lake of poop, or piranhas or something, but I don’t want him to die just because he doesn’t have a doctor.”

Eren stopped wandering around the clearing long enough to look back at Levi. He studied him for a long second, and then nodded. “And I like you.” He turned back to whatever he was doing with the mason jar.

Levi blinked, “What?”

“You’re decent. Even if you keep changing the subject when I ask about Mr. Ackerman”

Blindsided, Levi could only manage, “I only changed the subject once.”

Eren paused, staring up at the trees over their head as he thought. “Huh, I guess so.” He shot a grin over his shoulder at Levi. “I still like you. And I still think Armin being a doctor is a bad idea.”

“Unless you pick who he treats.”

“That’d be awesome.” Eren shook his head. “He won’t go for that, though. He actually likes people, even though he’s not stupid so he knows what they’re like.”    

Levi watched as Eren kept moving around the clearing. He had no idea what Eren was doing, but he was sure it was something interesting. “So how did you break your arm, in the end?”

“Oh yeah, I never finished, right? Well after we got the dog all tied up and we backed off, one of those jerks that had been throwing rocks and stuff at the dog came up, only he wasn’t really a jerk because he was coming to make sure we were okay because he’d just been there and had actually been trying to stop the others but I didn’t know that so I got mad and ran at him. And then I slipped and fell off the edge of the bridge.”

By the time he finished, Levi could only stare at him, speechless.

“It wasn’t too far down, but I still broke my arm.”

“I see.” Was all Levi could manage.

“Uh-huh.”

At a loss, Levi turned back to the water. There was just enough light that he could see a few dark shapes darting around under the surface. Before he had time to think, he grabbed at one. As he stood back up he heard Eren yelling.

“You got one!”

“I did.” Levi studied the strange, wiggling thing in his hands. “What now?”

Eren came to the edge of the water. “Take it home and cook it, I guess.”

They both stared at the fish, neither one moving to take it anywhere.

“Don’t you have to do stuff to them before you can cook them? Do you think your mom would-”

“No.” Eren interrupted firmly. “No she would not.” And then he started giggling.

Levi felt lips twitch, and heard something like a giggle come from his own mouth. It startled him enough that it made him stop, but he couldn’t help smiling at the look on Eren’s face. “I’m going to put it back.”

“Please. Yes.”

Levi dropped the fish and watched it disappear into the rocks under the water. When he looked back up he found Eren grinning at him.

“I guess I didn’t really think this through, huh?”

Levi cocked his head, “Do you ever?”

Eren laughed, unoffended. “That’s what Mom says too. I do, though, I just forget sometimes. I’m not stupid, though. Mikasa says I’m an idiot sometimes, but I’m never stupid.”

“I don’t think you’re stupid. Strange, and yes, an idiot sometimes, but not stupid.”

Eren laughed again. “I do like you. You’re nice.”

Levi found himself giggling again. It was a little less of a shock this time. “That’s nice?”

“Uh-huh. You don’t lie. You should laugh more. It makes you sound like a kid.”

“I am a kid.”

“Yeah, sometimes.”

Before Levi could ask what Eren meant, he heard Eren suddenly suck in a breath as he frantically looked around the clearing. “Wait, what time is it? It’s so dark.”

He grabbed the second mason jar, and then shot towards Levi, grabbing him by the hand and pulling him after him as he ran back towards the woods. “We have to go, my mom will be home soon.”

Levi snagged his backpack as they ran past it. “She’s probably been back for ages. And why do I have to come with you?”

“Are you kidding? You’re my only hope. If I can distract her with you she might not kill me.”

Levi dug in his heels, yanking his hand away from Eren’s.

Eren’s feet came to a halt, and he looked back at Levi. It really was getting dark enough under the trees that Levi couldn’t quite make out Eren’s expression.

“I don’t want her to see me.”

“Why?”

“I just don’t.” He knew enough about the world to know that any normal adult would report a kid living on their own, and then they’d take him away from Uncle Kenny.

“Okay.” Eren walked back, grabbed Levi’s arm, and started towards their houses again. “Then you can leave before we reach my yard.”

Levi thought for a moment, but he didn’t pull away again, “Okay.”

“But just so you know, it’ll be a little bit your fault if my mom kills me for this.”

“No it won’t be. I just kept you from landing in the water. She’d have been even madder then.”

Levi heard Eren laugh, and couldn’t quite wipe the smile off his own face.  

 --

 They weren’t quite back to the yard before Karla appeared in front of them. She was clearly furious, but all expression left her face as her eyes travelled from Eren to Levi.

Instantly, Eren let go of Levi’s hand and shifted until he stood directly in front of him, blocking Levi from Karla’s view. “Mom. I’m sorry I went into the woods.”

Taken aback, Karla studied him. “Alright, we’ll deal with that later. Who is this?” She stepped to the side until she could see Levi’s face again.

“Nobody. He doesn’t have anything to do with me being there.” Eren moved to block her view again.

This time, she made no attempt to move past him to see Levi. Instead, she studied Eren’s face for a long minute. Finally, she nodded. “Then say goodbye to your friend and be inside the house in five minutes or whatever hell I decide to put you through will be doubled. Okay?”

“Okay, Mom.”

Without another word, she turned and walked away.  

Levi stared after her, and then turned to look at Eren’s grinning face.

“See, she’s pretty awesome, right?”

[thisgirlsays22]

Intro to Data Science Chapter 3

Rating: E

Fandom: Shingeki no Kyojin

Pairing(s):  Eren Yeager/ Levi

Chapter Word Count: 3.7K

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Fluff and Smut, (British) Professor Levi, (American) Student Eren, Long Distance

Summary:

“You’re probably just into him for the accent.”

“It’s not that,” Eren argued. “It doesn’t hurt, but it’s so much more than that.”

Mikasa rolled her eyes. “Sure.”

Notes:

This chapter took inspiration from @ereri-writing-prompts incalescent prompt ;)

For my lovely @fluffymusketeer who loves smut. May this chapter bring her joy. 

And a big thank you to @attraversiamo19 for being a fantastic beta and workshopping lines and ideas with me nonstop. 

Read chapter 3 on Ao3 or under the cut. Chapter 1 & Chapter 2 on Tumblr. 

Levi should have never allowed the kiss to happen. His plan--if you could call it that--had spectacularly backfired.

“I thought if I spent more time with him, he’d turn out to be a twat, and I’d lose interest,” he tried to explain to Isabel.

Spring had come out in full force that weekend, the sweet smell of the first crocuses blooming in the air. They jogged through Clapham Common side by side, dodging cyclists and couples strolling hand in hand.

“Maaate.” Isabel let out a low whistle. “That makes no sense.”  

She wasn’t wrong. He’d not stopped thinking of Eren’s smile or the kiss for two days straight.

“I’m hardly ever interested in someone once I properly chat to them,” Levi said, wiping some sweat from his brow.

“Fair point. Can’t argue with that.”

Isabel and Farlan knew his track record better than anyone, even Hanji and Erwin. Childhood friends always saw how the sausage got made.

They ran for another kilometer, the kiss still playing through Levi’s mind on repeat. He hadn’t even kissed Eren properly. A fucking wasted opportunity.  

A student had never caught his interest before, and even if they had, he never would have pursued anything. Eren’s pushiness should have been a turn-off, but he didn’t push quite hard enough to be off-putting.

“Right, I’ve had enough,” Isabel said, slowing to a walk. She flung herself onto the grass, red hair fanning out around her. Levi frowned, but gingerly took a seat next to her after he made sure the area was clear of bird or dog shit. Dogs were running everywhere without their leads, and some owners were irresponsible fucks.

Isabel picked up the former thread of their conversation. “He must be quite fit if you’re still interested.”

This line of questioning could only go to stupid places, but Levi thought of how tall Eren was, his lithe muscles, his beautiful green eyes. “Yeah. He’s alright.”

She nudged his arm. “He hench, then?”

“What the fuck is 'hench'?”

“You know, like...jacked and shit.”

“Ug.” Levi rolled his eyes. Isabel taught at a secondary school, and she picked up all the awful slang her students used.

“What are you going to do about it?”

“Fuck’s sake. I don’t know yet.”

“You can’t tell Farlan about this,” she warned. “Exactly the sort of thing he’d freak out about, innit?”

Levi never would have breathed a word about Eren today if Farlan hadn’t been ill. “Of course I’m not telling Farlan. What kind of dick-head do you take me for? I thought you would probably tell him.”

“Alright, alright. Respect.” She held up her hands in surrender. “Just making sure. And no, I won’t unless you tell me I can.”

“Stop saying ‘respect’ like that,” Levi said irritably. “You sound ridiculous.”

She laughed. “Whatever.”

“Thanks. There’s no reason to tell him, really. He’ll get up in arms over fuck all.”

Levi had always appreciated that even though Farlan and Isabel had gotten together when they were teenagers, he’d never been made to feel like a third wheel. If Isabel said she’d respect his desire to keep this between them, he knew she meant it.   

“For the record,” she said, picking at a blade of grass by her leg. “I don’t think it’s that big a deal. You’re both adults, and you’re a good bloke. You’d treat him right.” She winked at him. “Not like if one of the teachers at my school were dating a student.”

“Well, yes,” Levi said, “your students are fourteen. I’d say that’s quite different.” 

“Right. Exactly.” She pointed at him. “So once your classes are over, have yourself a nice shag, if you like.”

“Still feels wrong,” Levi said. Even if you removed them from the university setting, Levi had an established career, money, experience.

“Look, if you wanted to be talked out of it, you’d have gone to Farlan. But you came to me.”

She had a point. Levi shifted uncomfortably, the spot between his socks and his trousers tickled by the grass. Isabel might talk like a bloody idiot sometimes, but she was smart.

“Clever girl,” he said dryly.

She punched his arm lightly. “Yeah, I do alright sometimes, don’t I?”

“Mm. You ready for another lap, then?”

She spread her arms out. “Ten more minutes. I’m cloud watching now.”

Levi sighed, but he joined her in gazing up at the blue sky, full of fluffy clouds intermittently covering the sun. He felt oddly at peace. Perhaps the simple act of confiding his ‘sins’ in Isabel had freed him from their hypnotic spell. Perhaps if he ran hard enough, he could enter into spring’s embrace and leave Eren and their kiss behind him.   

   Of course, he was wrong about that. The next night, he checked his emails only to find one from Eren waiting for him at the top of his inbox.

Hi Levi,

I was just wondering if I could swing by during your office hours to pick your brain about graph databases? We only briefly covered them in class, but I was curious if you had any further reading. My thesis is focussed on them, and Professor Zacharias recommended I come talk to you.

Thank you,

Eren Jaeger

Levi blinked at the computer screen. He hit ‘reply’ and tried to formulate a response.

Eren,

The cursor blinked back at Levi. His hands hovered uselessly over the keyboard.  

I don’t think I’m the best person to advise you.  

I wish you all the best with your thesis. You’re an excellent student, and your hard work will pay off.

No. That sounded shitty and weird. “Your hard work will pay off”? It could be misconstrued as a pervy come on. And “you’re an excellent student”? He’d barely noticed Eren was in his class until they’d spoken at the pub.

He tried again:

Eren,

I’m not the best person to advise you. Professor Zacharias overestimates my knowledge on the subject.

I wish you all the best with your thesis.

Best,

Levi Ackerman

He hesitated before he hit send. Because if he were Eren, he’d read it as the rejection it was meant to be, and he’d leave well enough alone. The thought made his stomach drop.

Fuck. He stood up and paced around his small bedroom, lit only by the faint glow of the screen. He disappointed himself. Relief, not disappointment, should be his foremost emotion.

Farlan had once pulled some armchair-psychologist bullshit that Levi found flaws in appropriate potential partners in favor of doomed ones because deep down he thought he deserved to be alone.

Levi sat back down and hit send on the email.

   The last lecture of the semester had been earlier that week, and Eren had sat at the back of the room, expression unreadable when Levi had braved a look.

Exam schedules were now set, and panicked students sent him emails asking for clarification about all sorts of topics. Most preferred to communicate digitally rather than dropping by his office hours, which suited Levi just fine.  

He was cleaning his desk when Eren showed up. Levi wasn’t exactly surprised.

“Hey,” Eren said from the doorway, looking nervous. “Can I come in?”

“Sure,” Levi replied. “You alright?”

Eren's eyes narrowed. He marched into the room and shut the door behind him, not quite a slam but with more force than necessary. “Why wouldn’t I be alright? Because you kissed me and then just left? And then sent me that blow-off email? I’m great.”

Levi couldn’t help it; he laughed despite his irritation with Eren, with himself. He’d gone through this misunderstanding with Hanji before. “It just means ‘how are you’. But fair point.” He put the cleaning spray and rag down on the desk, unsure of what to do with his hands now that they were empty.

The laughter startled Eren and seemed to have a placating effect. He shoved his hands in his jean pockets and looked away. “Oh, yeah. I’m still not used to that phrase.”

Silence hung between them, an awkward companion in the room.

Levi took it upon himself to break that silence. “Look. The kiss shouldn’t have happened.” There was no point pussyfooting around it.   

“I don’t care,” Eren retorted, prepared. “I’m glad it did.”

“I’m not here to live out some teacher, student fantasy with you,” Levi said flatly. It wasn’t that he was opposed to one-night stands or flings, but the thought of being used like that, playing some part, pissed him off. He didn’t want to take advantage of Eren, but he didn’t want to be taken advantage of either.

Eren shook his head. “That isn’t what this is.”

“No?”

“No. I like you. ” Eren took a seat in front of Levi, the small room shrinking further. His body said, I’m not going anywhere. I dare you to move away. “I think you like me too.”

This was terrible in its own way. Because Levi wanted Eren, and if he really wasn’t just some way for Eren to live out a cliche fantasy, and if Eren kept pushing--which it was clear from the way he was looking at Levi that he would--then Levi wouldn’t be able to say no.

They probably just needed to get this attraction out of their systems. This couldn’t possibly go beyond that. Whatever was between them, it had no legs.

Levi didn’t answer but he didn’t look away either, arms folded across his chest as he leaned back against the front of the desk. They were so close, and when their eyes met, he felt the heat, the spark between them.

Eren stood slowly, giving Levi time to break the eye contact or retreat behind his desk. He stayed still as Eren moved closer until his hands were resting on either side of the desk, caging Levi in.

Levi knew he shouldn’t let this happen in his office--and he’d just cleaned the bloody desk--but he had fantasised about fucking someone here. He’d just assumed it would be another professor. Or at least a student in an entirely different department. Music Theory, perhaps.  

Well. If this was going to happen, he’d do it right this time.

He reached a hand up behind Eren’s neck to pull him in, crushing their lips together in a bruising kiss. Sucking and biting Eren’s lower lip the way he’d stopped himself from doing last time, brushing a thumb against Eren’s nipple through his thin t-shirt. Levi was rewarded with a pleased moan, Eren clutching Levi closer.

Once, he told himself, just once so fucking enjoy it. He licked his way into Eren’s mouth, teasing their tongues together.  

After a few minutes, Eren broke the heated kiss, breathing hard. He rested his forehead against Levi’s. “God, you’re sexy.”

“Go lock the door,” Levi brushed past the compliment, shallow breath breaking the illusion of a calm exterior.

Eren stumbled over himself rushing to the door, and Levi rolled his eyes.  

When he was finished, Levi pulled him forward again for another kiss, running his hands along Eren’s back and then slipping them underneath his shirt, fingers cool against Eren’s hot skin. It was only a matter of time before Eren set him ablaze.

“Why are your hands so cold?” Eren took Levi’s hands between his own, warming them.

“They’re always cold,” Levi dismissed, looking down at their intertwined hands. Eren kissed each knuckle, and somehow this felt more intimate than Eren’s tongue in his mouth.

“I want to make you feel good,” Eren said.

Levi glanced at the desk. He had pens, windex, a rag, and a box of tissues. “I don’t have any lube.”

Eren laughed. “Me neither. This is going way better than I imagined.”

“Yeah. You sure won the lucky draw.”

“I know you’re being sarcastic, but I like it,” Eren said. “Clothes on or off?”

Levi glanced at the door. “On.” He knew he would regret not seeing Eren naked, but if someone turned up, they wouldn’t have very long to get decent. His cock swelled at the thought, surprising him. Even the idea of ravaging Eren in his stupid, ratty Abercrombie t-shirt wasn’t enough to turn him off.

“Do you shop anywhere else?” Levi asked, fisting the front of Eren’s shirt.

Eren blinked at him. “Your flirting is so weird. Don’t change.”

“I was sincerely asking.”

Eren ignored him and instead bent forward to kiss Levi’s neck, nibbling and sucking up and down, hitting all those sweet spots that made Levi’s eyes flutter shut. Rendered him speechless.  

“Okay,” Eren said, straightening up. “I know what I want to do.”

“Go on then,” Levi said, nearly breathless.   

Eren dropped to his knees to mouth at Levi’s cock through his soft slacks, the hard outline pressed against his lips as he left wet marks on the material. Eren cupped Levi’s length while slipping two of Levi’s fingers into his mouth. A low groan slipped past Levi’s lips as he imagined that tight, wet heat around his dick.

“Can I?” Eren asked, looking up at him in a way that had Levi straining against his trousers.

“Yeah.” Jesus fuck, yes. Do anything you want to me.

In seconds, his cock was freed from the confines of his trousers. Briefly, he wondered if it would bother Eren that he was uncut; the only other American man Levi had slept with had been taken aback by it.

But Eren licked him from root to tip without hesitation, moaning softly.

“I love your dick,” he said before sucking the head into his mouth and giving his tongue a swirl. He gripped Levi’s ass, moans muffled now as he took Levi deeper and deeper.

“Oh my god, ” Levi choked out. He’d never had someone sound quite like that--downright filthy--when they sucked him off, the vibrations around his length and the way Eren was playing with his balls had Levi’s legs shaking as he clutched the edge of the desk behind him for support.

Eren looked up at him, eyes clouded with lust, and smirked around his cock. Tangling a hand in Eren’s silky, wild hair, Levi tipped his head back, letting go.

Torturously, Eren paused his ministrations, and said, “Keep watching me.”   

Levi obeyed, and Eren tilted his head to the side and began to slide his wet lips up and down Levi’s shaft. It wasn’t a bad sensation, but Levi was confused.

“What are you doing?”

“The harmonica technique.”

Levi had no idea what this technique was, but Eren’s enthusiasm was delightful. “That doesn’t seem right.”

“What do you mean? I’ve been doing it this way for years, and no one’s complained.”

“Well, it’s not awful,” Levi offered. “Wrap your lips around it more when you move.”  

Eren gave a look of intense concentration, and Levi was surprised at how sexy he found it.

This time, Eren got his lips halfway round Levi’s cock as his slid up and down. “Fuuuuck,” Levi groaned, snapping his hips forward.

Eren pulled back and grinned up at Levi. “Like that, then?”

“You’re a fast learner.” Levi's knuckles went white as he tightened his grip on the desk.  

At the praise, Eren let out a soft, pleased sigh, and switched to the other side. Levi was so hard, and all he wanted was to fuck Eren’s sweet mouth, to completely let go.

“Eren--”

An acknowledging hum, and Eren began sucking him off in earnest again. Taking Levi as deep as he could, and christ almighty, Levi wished he could just bend Eren over the desk and fuck him into oblivion.

It took all his willpower not to come as Eren deepthroated him and held him still, throat constricting around him.

“Eren,” he panted. “I’m so fucking close.”

Slowly, Eren pulled back. Levi watched reverently as his glistening cock inched out of Eren’s mouth. “Fuck--I’m gonna--”

Eren opened his mouth and closed his eyes, and Levi’s cum painted that gorgeous face and lips and tongue, a filthy masterpiece.

A strange look passed over his face as Eren wiped some cum off of his chin. And suddenly, Eren stood up and slid a cum-streaked finger down Levi’s cheek.

“What the fuck?” Levi spluttered, still in a post-orgasm haze.

“That’s for your email,” Eren said, eyes full of amusement. “And for making fun of my shirt,” he added as reached around Levi to snatch some of the tissues from his desk--for once hayfever season had proven useful--to wipe down the rest of his face.

“I--you absolute shit. That’s disgusting.” His words lacked any bite, despite his best effort. Why the fuck was he horrified and amused?

Levi grabbed one of the unused tissues from Eren’s hand and wiped the cum off furiously.

He yanked Eren, who was obviously trying to hold back laughter, towards him, and kissed that stupid fucking smile off his face. He pulled on that messy, ridiculous hair and when he tugged a little harder Eren moaned into his mouth. It was a shame this couldn’t happen again or he’d want to explore that.

Levi unzipped Eren’s jeans and palmed his erection. “You want me to take care of that?” he asked, voice low.

“God, yes.” Eren rubbed himself against Levi’s hand, letting out a desperate whimper.

“Shame you’ll have to beg for it now after what you did.”

Pleased by the sharp inhale above him, he started another messy kiss. As Eren tried to grind against his hand, he shifted back ever so slightly.

Eren pulled away with a groan. “Stop moving your hand away, I can’t take it.”

“Beg for it,” he said. “I told you.”

Cock jerking against Levi’s hand, Eren gasped, “Please, Levi.”

Levi stroked a finger down Eren’s rigid length, chasing a bead of pre-cum.     

“Please, damn it. I need you to really fucking touch me, I’ll do anything. Please,” he begged, pupils blown wide, as his lustful gaze met Levi’s.

“Alright, then,” Levi sighed, slicked his hand with spit, and gave Eren what he wanted.

Eren’s cock was perfect: long and smooth and not too thick. Levi loved the way it slid between his hands as Eren thrust helplessly, and he imagined what it would feel like inside of him. His cock twitched with renewed interest, but he shook off the fantasy. This wouldn’t happen again.

Levi nipped at the space where Eren’s collarbone met his neck, and whispered, “You going to come for me?”

“Not yet.” Eren shut his eyes. “Too good.”

“Come on,” he said softly. “I want you to. Come for me, Eren.”  

Eren cried out, face twisting in ecstacy. He came all over Levi’s hand in hot, sticky bursts, fingers digging into Levi’s arms as he shook.

“Asshole,” Eren murmured, slumping forward.

For a minute, Eren remained boneless in his arms, Levi half sat on the desk with Eren draped over him. As much as he felt the surprising, unwelcome urge to stay like this, Levi disentangled himself.

Pulling a few tissues from the box to clean them both up, Levi said, “Unlike you, I’ve got a little class.”

“Thanks.” Eren tucked himself back into his jeans. He flicked his eyes up to Levi's. “Sorry I wiped cum on your face.”

Levi arched a disbelieving eyebrow. “You’re not sorry.”

“It was pretty funny,” Eren admitted.

“It was vile.”

“My punishment wasn’t fair, though. Making me beg like that.”

“Seemed like you enjoyed it.”

Eren flushed but otherwise didn’t acknowledge Levi’s observation. “You shouldn’t have blown me off in your email.”

“Well, you didn’t really come here to talk about graph databases, did you?” Levi said, walking over to the bin to throw the crumpled tissues away.

“No.” Eren gave a shaky laugh, looking a little dazed. “I really am doing my dissertation on them, though.”

Levi stayed behind his desk. Now that they’d gotten their attraction out of their system, he felt he should keep his distance. The hazy fog of arousal no longer clouding his judgement, Levi cleared his  throat. “I can email you some recommendations, if you like. I haven’t worked with them much, but I have some resources.”

“Thank you,” Eren said. He looked sad, though. “So was this...is this really it?”

“Afraid so.” Even Levi realised how callous that sounded. “It’s nothing to do with you, Eren. It’s this--” he gestured around them, “we’ve acted on the attraction, and now we can move on.”

“You’re not even my professor anymore.”

“Technically I am. You haven’t sat your exams yet, and I could be involved in grading your dissertation,” Levi pointed out.

He didn’t even know what the policies were on being involved with a student in your department. Probably, “don’t do it”. There was no point in pursuing something else anyway. For what? A few more shags? Ridiculous.   

“Okay.” Eren made a move towards the door. “I’m glad we…acted on the attraction. It’s been real.”

Eren froze with his hand on the doorknob and turned to face Levi again. The look he gave was dangerous, determined. He marched back towards Levi, around the desk, and kissed him forcefully, pure fire. Again, despite his earlier words to the contrary, Levi found himself melting into Eren. Their teeth clashed as they tried to find the right angle, to get closer, Eren’s fingers buried in Levi’s hair.

Eren eased them out of the kiss, planting a few final, softer ones on Levi’s lips.

“Okay. Goodbye for real now,” Eren said, nodding to himself before walking out the door.

In stunned silence, Levi stared at the space Eren had occupied, a small part of him wishing that Eren would come back, that this wasn’t goodbye.

“You know what, no,” Eren said walking back in the room. “I want to see you again.”

Both of Levi’s awful plans had failed. Talking to Eren more and messing around with him had done nothing to lessen his interest. He’d just crossed a big line, might as fucking well cross another.

“Come round for tea this weekend, if you like.”

Eren blinked at him.

“I don’t...I don’t see where this can possibly go,” Levi said. “But we might as well talk.”

“Okay.” Eren ducked his head as he hid a smile. “Yeah.”

Levi grabbed some paper from his desk and jotted down his number. “I would tell you not to abuse this, but I have a feeling you will.”

Eren took the paper and tapped it lightly against the palm of his hand. “Nah. I’m gonna play it so cool now. You’ll be dying for me to message you.”

Rolling his eyes, Levi said, “Play it too cool, and you won’t get an address.”

Moments after Eren left his office, Levi had a text that said, I’m the uncoolest of cool. Please send me your address and a time.

[lady-serai]

Part Time Babysitter

An Attack on Titan/Shingeki no Kyojin Fanfiction

Rating T

Disclaimer: I don’t own Shingeki no Kyojin/Attack on Titan

Chapter One

Sasha sat on her bed chewing at a granola bar while working on an application to get a job working as a cashier. She needed to find herself another part-time job while away at college during the summer. One part-time job wasn't enough for her to pay for her expenses. She needed the money to feed herself and take care of apartment expenses. Sasha hated not having money to buy food for herself.

Sasha finished the last part of the application and sent it to the email listed on the cover of the form. She sighed noisily and took another bite of the granola bar as she scrolled down the website looking at the job listings.

This was her Tuesday afternoon. A very dull afternoon that she knew was going to be boring since she didn't have any classes on Tuesday.

Sasha sighed and glanced at the clock and saw that it was 1 pm. She was supposed to meet Ymir and Krista at 1:30 pm for some girl time. She was about to log off of the site until an interesting job caught her eye.

'Part-time babysitter' she read. For a few minutes Sasha debated in her head, but in the end, she decided she was broke, and she needed the money. Satisfied with her line of thinking, she clicked on the title and was surprised at the very little information on the application.

All there was, was a short message. Sasha read:

If you are reading this, GREAT! A friend of mine needs a babysitter for his children, and he won't ask for help. If you are interested, please call this number!

Sasha stared at the message and the number contemplating what she was getting herself into.

Just do it, stupid! She scolded herself. Sasha picked up her phone and punched the numbers into her phone and waited.

"Heellooo?" a man's voice drawled.

"Uh, hi! My name is Sasha. I saw your job offering—"

"Oh, that's GREAT! I'm Hange Zoe by the way. Nice to meet you!"

"Uh, nice to meet you too," she stammered.

"You know what? I want to meet you personally and tell you everything about the job. Here's the address," Hange said.

Sasha blinked. She then lunged for a notepad and her pen as Hange began to rattle off the address. Sasha hurriedly wrote down the address.

"Would 3 pm this afternoon sound good to meet?"

"Uhh," Sasha mumbled.

"Lunch is on me," offered Hange. 

Sasha was about to refuse the offer and suggest a different time when her stomach growled. Sasha hung her head in embarrassment her face turning bright red. Hange burst out laughing, his deep laugh causing the girl to flush even redder.

"That works for me," Sasha said as she buried her burning face into her hand.

"Awesome. See you then Sasha!"

"See you then Mr. Zoe," the twenty-year-old said.

Sasha groaned as soon as she hung up and glared up at the ceiling.

What the hell did I get myself into, the auburn-haired girl thought. Her stomach rumbled causing the girl to grimace. Sasha decided she needed to eat food to handle the mess she was in since that was how she dealt with everything.

"You what!" gasped Krista staring at the auburn-haired girl in surprise. Ymir, typically the least emotional person in their group, raised an eyebrow in surprise.

"I already told you!" Sasha exclaimed glaring at the short blonde girl.

"I know! I want to hear it again!" the blonde-haired girl exclaimed.

"I am meeting with Mr. Zoe to discuss a potential job offer to be a part-timer babysitter for his friend's kids."

"You are meeting a stranger to talk about babysitting kids," Krista said slowly. "Sasha, are you serious? Do you know how strange that sounds?"

"You are doomed," Ymir said suddenly causing both girls to look quizzically at her. Ymir grinned at Sasha. "You are probably gonna get your neck slashed by this 'Mr. Zoe.'"

"Ymir!" gasped Krista mortified.

Sasha sighed. "Yeah. I leave my remains with you two considering I don't have any immediate family."

"Are you sure babysitting is your thing Sasha?" asked Krista ignoring the arm Ymir had thrown around her.

"I've babysat before. It won't be a problem."

She turned around and waved goodbye to the two bickering girls. As she made her way to her car, she pulled out a granola bar and took a bite of it. Sasha pulled out of the parking lot and headed towards her destination.

Sasha's mouth dropped open as she pulled through the gates once the gate guards finished interrogating her. This was almost unreal. The houses were so big three of her apartment complexes could fit inside these mansions. Damn rich people. Sasha arrived at a large pale blue home that designated that she had arrived at her destination. Sasha swallowed hard as she pulled into the driveway.

Sasha got out of her car and made a note of the bushes evenly cut as she walked the path towards the door. Before she could ring the doorbell, the door opened, and a tall, lean man with brown hair pulled messily up into a ponytail, wearing glasses grinned down at her.

"Hi! You must be Sasha."

"It's nice to meet you," Sasha said smiling. Hange gestured for her to come in and Sasha hesitantly walked in.

"Oh, you should take off your shoes."

Sasha pulled off her shoes and noticed the shoes at the door were all lined up neatly. She added he cute tennis shoes at the end of the line and followed Hange to the table. The pair both sat down and began to eat the sandwiches. Ham. Ham was her favorite.

"Do you like it?"

Sasha looked up surprised to see warm, brown eyes twinkling. "Oh, yeah. It's delicious."

"Glad you enjoy it. Let's go down to business."

Sasha lowered her sandwich and gave her full attention to Hange.

"Long story short, you will be a part-time babysitter for my friend's kids Eren and Mikasa. The dad's name is Levi Ackerman."

Sasha's jaw almost dropped open. Levi Ackerman. The Levi Ackerman. He was a big name in the business world, considered to be both ruthless and handsome. After all, he is Wall Rose's Number One on the Top Ten Hottest Men List.

Sasha jerked back to herself as Hange continued, "Just a little note about Levi is that he is a neat and clean freak. If there is one thing you will be required to do: it's to keep everything cleaned and in place. The guy is ridiculous. I honestly can't tell you how many times he went ballistic on me when I left something out of place."

"That isn't a problem," Sasha said. "I can keep things clean."

Hange grinned, "That's a good attitude you have there." He raised a long finger. "My second thing is a question. I am interested to know why did you decide you were interested in this job? Let me say this if you are in it just for the money and to get the spotlight as Levi Ackerman's children's nanny, you are in the wrong house."

Sasha closed her eyes. She knew this was going to be asked. "To be flatly honest, I need the job to pay for my life. I'm a college student in my second year, and I live in an apartment with two other girls which means I pay for everything. I don't have my parents to support me. I work whenever I am available at a café, and although it brings in decent money, it isn't enough to support me. Quite frankly, Mr. Zoe, I don't care about Levi Ackerman that much. I care more about the food on my plate than him."

Sasha looked down at her hands. She never told anyone the real reason why she worked all the time even though she had several scholarships supporting herself. Sasha didn't like telling people that she didn't have parents to help her. It was something she had preferred to keep to herself.

"I must say that you are the first person who said you didn't care about Levi Ackerman," Hange said with a small smirk on his face. "I'm sure Levi would work with you on the schedule." Hange pulled a folded piece of paper out of his pocket and unfolded it. "Now, I have several questions that I think are important to ask you. The first question is: do you have any siblings?"

"No."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"God, no," blurted Sasha before she could stop herself. Hange's lips twitched in amusement.

"Have you babysat before?"

"Yeah."

"When and who did you babysat?"

"I babysat a neighbor's kids for several years during high school."

Hange grinned and gave Sasha a thumbs-up. "I like you! In my opinion, you're hired."

"Thank you so much!" Sasha said relieved.

After the pair finished eating, Sasha took care of the dishes while Hange went to sit in the living room. Once Sasha was finished with the kitchen, Sasha joined Hange on the couch.

"Mr. Zoe—"

"Call me Hange. Mr. Zoe makes me feel old."

"Oh, you don't look old," Sasha mumbled. She then flushed red when she realized she didn't filter her thoughts.

Hange snorted with amusement. "I feel old. Babysitting eight-year-old twins is sure a pain in the ass. Excuse me for the language."

Sasha merely smiled. She glanced around the place. It then hit her what was missing. "Speaking of the kids, where are they?"

Hange snapped his fingers. "That's right! I told them to stay in their rooms until I finished speaking with you. Would you like to meet them?"

"Of course!"

"Wait here," Hange said as he unfolded his long form from the couch. Sasha watched as Hange walked towards the suitcase and cupped his mouth with his two hands. "EREN! MIKASA! YOU CAN COME DOWN AND MEET MY FRIEND!"

Hange took a seat next to Sasha on the couch. "They are getting sick and tired of babysitters, to be honest."

"Really? Why?"

Hange shrugged. "Levi picks the babysitters, and I guess the kids don't like the babysitters. I decided that I would be the one to pick a babysitter that Eren and Mikasa approve of."

Sasha was dumbfounded. What did the babysitters do that caused these kids to dislike babysitters? Unless…Sasha remembered what Hange said. If you are in it just for the money and to get the spotlight as Levi Ackerman's children's nanny, you are in the wrong house. Well, fine, then. She would earn their approval. She could do this. Sasha calmly leaned back into the couch and listened to the patters of feet coming down the stairs.

Sasha turned to face to the twins standing in front of the couch where Hange and her sat.

"Who's this Hange?" the green-eyed boy said.

Sasha almost raised an eyebrow. Isn't he a confrontational child. Sasha inwardly grinned. She had babysat kids like this before, and she knew how to handle them.

"Eren and Mikasa, I would like you two to meet my friend Sasha."

"You mean babysitter," the dark-haired girl said.

Sasha calmly watched the boy, Eren, scowl. Here it comes. Sasha sighed. "Yes, I am your babysitter—"

"I don't like you," Eren said flatly.

"And I don't like your lack of respect, Eren," Sasha said firmly. Out of the corner of her eye, Sasha saw Hange slightly smile. Sasha shifted her gaze to meet those penetrating green eyes and dark eyes that were closely watching her, "I know how frustrating it has been for you to have babysitters who were using you to get close to your dad, but I could care less about who your dad is. I am here to watch you two for your dad. Nothing else. I promise."

Sasha practically held her breath as Eren looked at Mikasa. Both kids looked over at Hange who smiled and nodded his head.

"Promise?" Eren asked quietly. Sasha's eyes slightly widened when she saw Mikasa tug the scarf around her neck. They looked so vulnerable in that instant that caused Sasha to silently swear that she would not break her promise to them.

"I pinky promise," Sasha said holding up her pinky finger for the twins to take. Sasha smiled as the twins shook her pinky finger with their respective digit.

Hange clapped his hands together. "I knew you guys would like Sasha. I liked Sasha the moment I met her."

The four turned, startled when the telephone began to ring causing Hange to grumble about someone's impeccable timing. She turned her attention to the twins and said, "Do you guys want to do something while Hange takes that call?"

Eren and Mikasa looked at each other, and both kids grabbed her hands and proceeded to drag her up the stairs as Hange sighed and grabbed the telephone.

[sarehime]

Shingeki no Kyojin: Kami no Ken Part 1/2

''Yes, I did,'' Eren said. His eyes found me. He looked at me stunningly then he turned again to Jean. ''If I'm not mistaken you're the kid who wants to join Military Police to enjoy yourself, aren't you?'' I did not like the disdain in his voice at all. Like everyone have to join the exploration legion. This is where you choose how to die. Either you got eaten by a Titan or getting older in the inner area and drop dead...

''Mine's honesty. At least I'm more honest than people who look brave from the outside and shiver in fear inside,'' Then Eren frowned and lifted his chair;

''What the hell do you mean?'' he said. He was short-tempered and acting impulsive. Is that boy really about destroying all of the Titan kind? Fortunately Jean showed that he was smarter and prevented this debate from turning into a fight.

''Hey calm down! I have a bad habit of telling people everything I can think of. Sorry, my intention isn't to question you. It's your decision how to direct your life, I wasn't trying to involving your decision.'' Eren calmed down a little more with these words.

''It's alright, I was a bit much incline to fight.'' In the end, Jean stood up and reach out his hand.

''Think we might be friends,'' he said. Eren laughed and shaked his hand.

''Agree,'' I was glad that this little debate ended good.

While Eren leaving the dining hall the girl which is black-haired and looks like different than the others and coming after him drew my and Jean's attention. Jean shouted at her. The bell that notify that food-break is over has already rang. I cleaned my plate and I passed by Jean and that girl. I glanced and smiled at him. Finally it was time to get some sleep.

***

I took my way to my bed. That dormitory was really wretched. The beds were adjoined to the sides of two walls. Just above the beds, there was another floor similar to the one. The top was up a little staircase and there was only one. So you had to step on the bed of someone else to reach your own.

Fortunately my bed was on the floor and luckily next to the window. The girl who was nearby me seemed like quiet.

I leaned my back against the pillow wall. I couldn't sleep lying down. I was sleeping sitting up. Another strange feature that I had. For some reason, I feel more comfortable and safe.

My eyebrows frowned slightly when I saw the girl that looking at me with interest.

''Hi,'' I said. The girl smiled at me,

''Hi,'' She had red-brown, long and straight shiny hair and sparkling green eyes. She also looked petite and delicate.

''I'm Teresa, what's your name?''

''Clare,'' she said. ''Your hair is so beautiful,'' I was surprised by this question. I had wavy, hip-lenght blonde hair. I don't like the hair of my color, I had a skin color like lime and that make me look like more pale.

''Thank you, your eyes are so beautiful as well.''

''So are yours. I think they're grey but shining like silver,'' she said. Yes, I had silvery grey eyes inherited from my father. I used to think that make a horrifying image. For the first time I saw someone said they were beautiful.

''Would be great to chat with you but I'm sure we should all get some sleep now. I don't want to disturb others.'' I said. She nodded and agree with me.

''It's nice to meet you,'' she whispered and she fall asleep. I looked at her with smiling. Then I crossed my arms and turned around. Closed my eyes even though it pains my ass on this hard bed, I went to sleep easily...

Thank you @senaliah for translation!

[perfectackeracy]

Shingeki no Kyojin chapter 99 review (+ theories)

This is it: the beginning of the end.

This chapter kickstarts the current objectives of the warriors through Zeke’s plan and Eren’s intrusion at the festival. Throughout the chapter, there was a current feeling of uneasiness running through my spine. I knew this chapter wasn’t going to be pleasant, but I really fear someone is going to die next chapter. Be it Falco who lived his usefulness to Eren, Pieck or Porco who fell into a trap by some sort of mysterious enemy, or anybody in the crowd.

Why yes, I feel that at the end of chapter 100, several people are going to pull out their titan form. Welcome to the Eldian wars 2.0!

Content-wise, it was rich: the true History of the world came to light, so did Eren’s identity. The situation of the deceased or dying warriors’ parents was revealed, Pieck’s unit has a fanclub, some mysterious soldier has been spotted and the warriors are currently being targeted.

Eren and Reiner’s meeting

Before the play

During the speech

The History of the World

Summary

Follow me under the cut!

Not doing any WTF CR because we all know there’s a grammatical fuckup elsewhere that gets fixed in the Kodansha version.

Eren and Reiner’s meeting

Eren rubbing salt in Reiner’s wounds - Ch. 99

That was my worst fear from last month and it turned out to be more awful than I thought: what Eren is doing is not only preventing Reiner to pull out his titan: he’s holding the Marleans in the building as hostages and making Reiner listen to the whole story, just to give him a taste of his own medicine.

The chapter doesn’t start immediately on their dialogue. As unexpected as it was, we’ve got a flashback continuing from Bertolt’s theory about that hanged man. It ended on Bertolt’s gut telling the hanged man wanted some judgement on his actions, right when we’re cutting back to the present time. That still doesn’t confirm whether Reiner or Annie killed the hanged man, but it nails us on Bertolt’s interpretation being correct and Reiner becoming this man for a short moment. Before being found dead, he told the warrior trio his sin: running away and leaving up three kids. This is what Reiner did on a bigger scale: he left his three companions on Paradis, and he’s constantly fearing someone might come at him for that. That’s why Reiner kept torturing himself over unconsciously helping Eren up. That’s why he tried to kill himself two chapters ago. And now that Eren is right in front of him, he’s having a mental breakdown, trembling and shaking.

Reiner losing control - Ch. 99

Eren, well, as I suspected, didn’t let his rage go. I’m very pleased with what Isayama is doing with him as an antagonist. First of all, he doesn’t let suspicions up and is exploiting Falco’s naivety, so he can become his aide. Then, upset at his grandpa because he asked Eren to leave Falco alone, he brought up his regrets, as a jab against him. Lastly, in this chapter, he’s parroting Reiner’s previous wishes (making it home) and words (“We were only children, we didn’t know anything”) as a twist of the knife in the wound, while holding him and Falco hostages and implying the reason as to why he came here (wiping all his enemies out).

Such hatred in his eyes – Ch. 99

He doesn’t let out a single sweat drop, not even after Willy’s extra lines. He’s pretty much determined. I couldn’t help but think he was pissed to be ratted out like that, but that just means he’s going to unleash the rage of his titan very soon. Of course, the whole history doesn’t come at any surprise to him: he got it from Grisha’s memories and Kruger’s. The history, the Great War, the king fleeing to Paradis, the reason why Marley sent warriors on Paradis… the extra segment however was supported by two sources: Dina’s testimony about her line disagreeing with Karl Fritz’s and… this.

“How dare she tell me to bow down like that?“ - Ch. 90

Now we’ve got an explanation for Eren’s reaction in chapter 90. The words said on stage were Karl Fritz’ vow, heard four years ago from Frieda’s mouth. Frieda was basically telling Grisha to accept their fate, because no one can atone enough for the sins Paradis went through. Grisha and Eren, whose mindset was incompatible with the King’s got pissed and swore revenge on the ones humiliating them: be it the King, Marley or the whole world. That’s how they intend to regain their dignity but doing so would wake the Eldian Empire up. No matter how advances technology is now, the threat of wall titans steamrolling the world is real.

My only wish for Eren at this point is to become… fucking brutal. Throughout his journey on Paradis, he was mostly kidnapped and was often assisted in his battles. Now that he awoken the Coordinate, I’m pretty much expecting him to steamroll a whole crowd with his titan limbs alone. I want his threat in chapter 90 to have weight or else he’s going to be just a joke instead of a lethal joke who should’ve never been granted divine powers.

Before the play

The actors’ lodge - Ch. 99

Willy’s personality gets even more fleshed as, not only a charismatic man, but a nervous one. To be frank, in his situation, anybody would be: he was about to reveal the truth to the whole world, with a high chance of failure if he wasn’t convincing enough. That and adding the truth according to the memories inherited by the Tybur family puts on more weight.

Kiyomi cheering for Willy - Ch. 99

It was nice to see that the Asian lady, Kiyomi Azumabito, came to encourage him. I didn’t expect her to gain any more relevance after her incident with Udo, but it turns out that yes. And while she remains polite she doesn’t seem to support Marley fully, aware that the contents of the play are made to restore the Eldians’ dignity. She knows they’re treated like dirt. She doesn’t need to hear more: her visit is over.

Another surprise from the side of the privileged guests:

This man - Ch. 99

Seriously, it’s been years we were waiting for him and he’s finally appearing in the flesh. Annie’s father. The main reason why she wanted to come back. And the only resemblance they share is the size (he’s smaller than Karina) and the eye shape. He’s walking with a cane which is pretty like Annie’s story in her VN. I guess it’s considered as canon evidence, then? He’s living up to his prestige, but still pretty much in denial about his daughter not coming back. I guess that solidifies the possibility that Annie’s crystal is a death seal, then.

Also, can Bertolt’s family get any more depressing? We’ve got indications of his family and one of his parents (referred as male in the CR translation) was bedridden and passed away. The popular theory is Bertolt becoming an honorary Marlean to help his sick parent at first. That would imply he was a Gabi-type of prodigy: the ones you don’t see for decades. It’s likely they passed away, giving up any hopes their son would show up again. I’d still love to have a picture though. Maybe in a future flashback, because the families met for Reiner’s return from Paradis, alone.

I gotta add: the Hoovers and the Leonharts are the perfect representations of their fanbase. Papa Leonhart deeply believes Annie is alive and is desperate for her return with every day passing, while Hoover-san was proud of his caring son and ended up dying (inside and out).

The warriors’ on their seats - Ch. 99

We also have a look at the general assembly. The army, the politicians, the diplomats… everybody assisted at Willy’s public declaration. With many people of importance, the security must be airtight. Indeed, it’s the perfect opportunity to launch an attack and make a maximum of damages.

And then the curtain rises, things are already off…

During the speech

The end of the original speech - Ch. 99

Just as the curtain rose, the cadets noticed Reiner and Falco’s absence. And shortly after that, some mysterious soldier appears to separate the warriors from the main scene. Clearly, this can’t be a coincidence: Eren wanted Reiner to listen to the speech in a basement full of people, this soldier appears as the trumpets were blown to separate Zeke, Pieck and Porco from the cadets. The latter is a signal. It’s a coup planned. By who is an excellent question.

Magath ordered reports from the most insignificant anomaly because his suspicions were high as soon as Zeke warned him about Eren. And not just Eren: the same “mice” from his colony. General Calvi was quickly alerted at the end of Willy’s speech.

Then, this fake soldier called Zeke “Yeager” and ordered him to go at the front gate. Pieck recognizing him and Zeke being called that way already ticked these two off. Something is up.

Pieck’s panzer unit - Ch. 99

And because something is up, Pieck let a warning sign to her dear panzer unit. Best girl has a fanclub even in this dark, dark world. That’s lovely. What I noticed is this soldier trapping Porco and Pieck right before Willy begins his second and unexpected segment. The one ratting Eren publicly and explicitly.

My question is: who is Eren’s ally? Someone from Paradis or someone from Kruger’s old network of restorationists?

I still have trouble believing it’s someone from Paradis. Namely someone from the SC. Many people argued about him being Connie, but considering how people grow in this manga, you can’t expect him to be suddenly 20 cm taller in four years, when the growth spurt goes at 4 cm at best. Besides, it’s not the correct eye color. Connie has lighter eyes; this guy has darker eyes. Plus joining Eren at this point implies he would’ve gotten some edge during the timeskip and that guard feels very OOC for him.

It’s hard to think it can be someone from Paradis at all: until the whole colonization of Paradis took place, their inhabitants had no contact with the outside world. And even then, the island is isolated. You can’t just enter the country and organize a plan with tight surveillance around when you barely know how the underground networks in Marley function. Even the warriors needed some time before acting. The SC? They’re a mess: it’s going to be hard for Eren to find people in there who agree with him. The only exception I can see is Levi because it gives him an excuse to die. Otherwise, with Hange at command, fat chances.

The best bet is someone from Kruger’s old network. I doubt the restorationist movement died with how Marley treats Eldians, currently. The last purge with Grisha made it more quiet, but some people just wait for the messiah to come back to deliver them and make Eldia great again. What if this person was the one piloting one of the missing ships and simply took Eren with him? He doesn’t even have to report his arrival. Just sail somewhere where he can’t be found. The only hints I have of him belonging to the restorationists are A) calling Zeke “Yeager” because Zeke is well-known for destroying their movement 20 years ago, on top of being their former leader’s son and B) Him having no interest to chat with the Eldians, as a reflection of Marley’s mentality on Eldians in the restorationists’ point of view.

I’m willing to buy the hypothesis Eren found his own fanclub, thirsting on freedom and restoring Eldia’s pride. Would be an interesting turn of events to see Eren becoming the leader of his own party.

Lastly, I want to talk about the contents of Willy’s piece itself.

The History of the World

King Karl Fritz CXLV - Ch. 99

From Zeke’s plan, Willy originally had to mention about how much of a threat the island of Paradis was, so the reputation of Eldians would be preserved. However, there was one pebble slipping in Zeke’s plan while he was making an announcement: Eren. Hence why Zeke modified the plan with Magath’s help, to target his younger brother, specifically.

The play goes exactly as the books say: the Eldian Empire rose from Ymir Fritz’s ascension to power and escalated to the Great War after subjecting the world and inflict damages upon damages, with an extremely high body count from two thousand years ago: three times the current human population. Then, the houses holding each titan power began to fight each other for dominance.

What the books didn’t mention is how the civil war began. The first part of the play told us the legend of Helos: the Marlean hero who trampled the houses and made them destroy each other. He joined himself to the Tybur family and exiled Karl Fritz on Paradis. You have some symbolism between the legend and the reality: the reality features Magath, the new Helos, and Willy, the Tybur, fighting hand to hand to change Marley’s future and improve Eldians’ lives, through interior renovations. Add Zeke Fritz Yeager -who didn’t need to be tamed, he joined hands with these two- to the mix and you have the Peace trio (ZMW).

As the story goes, King Fritz took as many Eldians as he could and retreated to Paradis, where he forged the present society of the walls with his giant titans. Willy’s concluding his speech on a flashforward to the present. He omitted the part where the restorationists tried to crush Marley.

Willy taking a break - Ch. 99

Of course, he’s saving it for the second part.

The second part, the truth, is revealed to the world. The one saying King Karl Fritz CXLV gave up on the Eldian Empire. He took pity of the oppressed, conspired with the Tyburs and gave up on his functions, to live a life with his people on Paradis, to atone for his sins, and enjoy his peace with people who knew nothing of the world, enclosed in these walls till either his power gets taken away or the people inside the walls die.

“Along with the liberation of Marley from its many years of persecution. If Marley grows strong and attempts to take the lives of the royal family or its Founding Titan… I will accept it. If Marley wishes to exterminate all Eldians… I will accept it. That is how the Eldians’ crimes were. They could never be atoned for. Eldians… Titans… They never should have existed in the first place. I will accept the responsibility of righting this wrong. But. Until the day that this retribution comes, I want to live inside the walls… I want to enjoy this brief paradise, this world without conflict. Please, I ask that you only grant me this.”

He’s kinda like a saint. Except he’s condemning now ignorant people to death, these “fools” unaware of their past sins. And this is where he clashes with the beliefs of the Attack Titan, who would never accept such a thing: Kruger didn’t consider him as a true king because he abandoned his people, Grisha neither and he ended up eating Frieda and killing the whole Reiss family, Eren even less and that’s why he’s here.

The other people have trouble swallowing this. Reiner is aware of this because of the Tybur’s information and Annie’s infiltration job. Gabi and the others are quite shocked by that, so is Karina. Calvi is staring at the scene without frowning his eyebrows while other diplomats like Ogweno are perturbed. The chapter ends on Willy pointing out the real threat: the current holder of the Attack and Founding titans, Eren Yeager. He’s now framed as the world’s public enemy and can no longer hide in safety. Zeke cornered him all along.

The reason why Willy revealed Karl Fritz’s agenda is to paint him in a positive light, because his goals align with the world’s and the Mainland Eldians’ for atoning for their sins in war. However, it was only a matter of time before a bunch of people become so dissatisfied with his choice, they’re choosing to face the world, to stand up against it.

Summary

I find this clash of ideologies interesting. The King had initially good intentions, but the population would meet the enemy with utter incomprehension and clash with it. Zeke commented the King unfortunately played his people like a fiddle. Kruger, Grisha and Dina found the King shameful for abandoning its people outside and keeping them ignorant inside. Meanwhile, you have Marley who grew power-hungry and built its empire on the remnant of their Eldian soldiers and titan powers at disposition. While 6 -7 with the Attack- of the 9 houses were no more, it was their main weapon to crush their enemies. It even came to the point where they need to crush Paradis to gain resources. The Mainland Eldians accept their fate as a way of atonement and some are happy with it, despite Marley turning into the oppressor. Of course, Magath isn’t happy with it and wishes to reform the army. Willy also wishes to advance things and try to improve the Mainland Eldians’ lives. Zeke, the warchief, helps them. The third party is the restorationists, sick of being treated like martyrs and having to bow like dogs in front of their masters, so they conspire to overthrow the authority and honor their freedom, completely ignoring why they are in this situation. Of course, Zeke denounced them before they even tempted anything, but Paradis had to pay for it instead. And now Marley is under threat.

Considering what might happen… a Clash of Titans 2.0? Eren has now a couple of witnesses who spotted him and Falco became more than inconvenient. Wouldn’t surprise me if he tried to kill him. Him positioning just in the backstage is of no coincidence, especially when the warriors are separated. If anything, I think Eren is trying to kill/eat Willy. That’s the most reasonable conclusion I can make. He knows Reiner isn’t going to attempt anything because of the innocent civilians above their heads.

Listed the key points here.

Can you feel the death toll rising for next chapter? I sure can.

[cheshirecatlife]

Eruriren Weekend ~ Past Title: Until The Bombs Drop Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Choose Archive Warnings Relationship: Erwin Smith/Eren Jeager/Levi Word Count: 9045 Summary: It's Leningrad 1942 and Levi, perishing on the wounded streets, finally follows the path he had never wish he had taken. The army. But, along the way, a few people make it all that more bearalbe. Suddenly, war doesn't seem to matter as much. Extract: Levi had never found a reason to stay in the house, now more so than ever. It was just cold in there, anyway, he thought as he sat on the stairs- thawed with cruel ice. Inside was frozen, outside was frozen and the streets of Leningrad were bare. People were gone, dead or fighting. Starved to death or shot. A bullet only took one hit to kill, infections were spreading like wildfire and even a small cut could cause the severest of illnesses. That was if the cold didn't get to you first. Hunger or cold battled for the deaths of millions, picking off each one by one yet so rapidly that it looked like they were dropping in unison. Dying so quickly you could mistake it for bombs if not for the distant crashes. The bombs were still far, obliterating the outskirts of the city. But they were approaching. Quickly. Levi was starving but he didn't want food. He didn't have the energy. His hunger-riddled brain was muddling needs with wants until the lethargy dragged him into the state of unconsciousness. Sleeping with his eyes open. Sleeping whilst walking. Sleeping when you couldn't bear the cold any longer. Dead when you couldn't bear the hunger any longer. Levi shivered, his woollen coat doing little to protect him from the biting Leningrad winds. They were always like this in winter but with a warm home, the fire blazing, he had never found it much of a problem- that was until he caught a cold, at least. But, now, with his fingertips blue and his nose such a violent red you could mistake it for food. People thought anything was food now. Animals were food. Plants were food. Pets were food. Leather was food. Clothes were food. Everything. Was. Food. The rest of the slum had scurried off to the defenses but Levi hadn't budged. If he was going to die, he was going to do it here, not on a lonely battlefield under a foreign sky. He had never left his home, never walking further than three streets down where the furthest shop, the grocers, was. The one that was now empty, out of stock and ransacked. The store owner had passed whilst still at the till, he had been giving any spares to his family- not enough for himself. The slum was dead anyway, literally and metaphorically. The people were gone, the ones that stayed barely alive, maybe not even. His apartment block, which used to hold dozens of people, now contained just him. As did the next. Families didn't live here. Families were some of the only people who bothered to stay behind. That and cowards. And Levi certainly didn't have family. He had been searching for food, he remembered suddenly. His energy had been lost on him and he had sat down to rest. They all knew that a rest meant nothing of the sort. He saw the woman on the set of steps next to him, frozen over- her rotten corpse portraying the shards of ice like an art piece. With food on his mind and nothing available, he set for wallowing in his hunger, feeling the tearing of his stomach as it searched for food that wasn't there. That wouldn't be there. Not for another couple days, anyway, when one of the supply trucks finally made it over the icy stretch of the river and rations were given out again. Most people had saved their rations. Most people were living off what was few but there. Levi, he was living with nothing. Nothing at all. No bread stuffed in his pockets, no hidden honey jar for emergencies. Nothing. The grips of death clutched on him like a vice, the shadowy figure blocking his vision- black spots gradually filling his vision. He was dying, he realised. And, it didn't feel too bad. Except, he was a coward and cowards don't die. Cowards live for fear of death. The brave ones accept it. Levi wasn't brave. Levi was afraid. He was a strong coward, a contradiction that made too much sense in a time of confusion. Everything was contradictory now. A whole city was living off nothing, corpses walked and the fed still danced. The people were scared but they didn't give in. They lived. They lived with nothing to let them live. He wants to pity himself for being stuck in this state of starvation but he can't, the only ones who have food are the rich and even then, they hardly have anything either. Some of them still don't have anything at all. The clever ones are the ones living the best. The ones that know how to steal, how to con and how to persuade. They are the ones who live. That was not Levi. That was not brash, crude Levi whose aim before this was to at least get a job, for his country. For Stalin. It still hadn't happened. He didn't fit in right. He didn't try hard enough. He fought for what he believed in. At the moment, he couldn't think of anything that fits into that. Levi doesn't know how he manages to stand after that, how he managed to blink the black from his eyes. He pries his hands away from the ice and into the whipping wind, not an improvement- at least the ice had numbed his frail fingers. He looked down at himself, concentrating on his legs. They were barely there anymore. He looked like a skeleton, a living skeleton. He looked ill. He wasn't self-conscious, though, he fits in perfectly alongside everyone else. Stumbling on the ice, he gained his balanced and trudged along the abandoned streets. It was desolate, the wind his only accomplice as it whipped him from head to toe. It scratched at his dry skin like sandpaper and burned his eyes like fire. The wind was cruel, battling hunger in its want for death. What draws Levi eye, though, is no longer his own living corpse but the flyer fluttering around, barely remaining pinned to the crooked-stone wall. On it, in huge letters, wrote 'JOIN THE ARMY' and underneath, in letters hardly legible to his weak eyes, it continued to explain why he, just he, was needed. This was for him, he thought, some self-obsessed part of his mind taking over. He was no longer in control of himself. His mind or body. He leaned forward, squinting to read the print that would have been so clear only a year before. They told him of his fighting comrades, the wicked enemy, and the saviour that he would be if he were to enlist. He almost forgot of the death he had heard of. Forgot this was a lie. He didn't understand why the propaganda posters were still around. Everyone who wanted to go had gone. Or so Levi thought. 'Mikasa, why won't you just let me enlist! See this! They need me!' Levi wasn't the only self-obsessed person, it seemed. The boy, a combination of shaggy, brown hair and undefinable eyes, raved on to the girl who stared at him with a heavy gaze, one word exuding from her: no. They both looked starved, faces like skulls and muscles reduced to bone. But, they looked far more alive than many. They were some of the well-off. He could see it, in both of them, they were clever ones. He watched them, following the story in his mind. The boy was the basis of the operation, stealing and conning as if his life depended on it- in fact, it did- and then, the girl, she reigned him back before anything could go wrong. She was just as strong but far more subdued, she would do anything for him. That much, at least, was clear to Levi. This girl would put the boy above her, she would die for him. She was dying for him, Levi realised. Where she keeled over, he stood straight. Where her eyes were dim, his shone. She was feeding him her own food. She had just enough to live, just enough to be able to protect him. But, the rest went to him. He used to fight it, Levi imagined, and then he had begun to give in. All from a still image, Levi had gained so much information. His mind was so muddled that it was seeing the impossible. It was seeing a false reality. He didn't realise they were looking at him until he moved his eyes back down the where the poster now lying in his hands. 'You joining too?!' The boy shouted with far too much excitement. Levi resisted holding his hands over his ears to block out the noise, it hurt so much. His ears were fragile, only adjusted to the distant booms. Everything was distant now. Why did this boy sound so jovial about something as grim as the army? Levi didn't question, though, as he shrugged. He wasn't ready to speak, not yet. He wasn't even sure if his lips could move. He hadn't moved them in days and the ice had probably frozen them together. There was no need to move them, he didn't eat, he didn't speak. He just survived. Not lived. Survived. 'Look, Mikasa! I'm not the only one! I need to go, I need to help them!' The boy argued to the girl whose name must have been Mikasa. The boy was delusional, it seemed. Even Levi realised that even if the poster was persuading him, he wasn't needed. He would become canon-fodder. Useful, he guessed. But not important. This kid's sense of self-righteousness was a little too much. 'I can go with you...' He trailed off awkwardly, the eyes of indefinable colour staring straight into his, dull upon bright, a contrast that fit together so perfectly. 'Levi.'