#era: c xoxo

[cxoxodeluxe]

CAMILA heading to DOJA CAT'S BIRTHDAY PARTY (2024)

[thewizardingelite]

ADMIN NOTICE: CHARACTER RETIRED

Yeşım Aslan has been retired, meaning her faceclaim, Hande Erçel, has been released. Any previous post tagged with Yeşım will remain as is, however, she is completely removed from the groups canon, including stories, family trees, etc. Be sure to update any lore related to your characters that had a connection with Yeşım.

[blackthornish]

she can’t and she won’t top familia guys it’s literally impossible!

[fa-by]

I LUV IT

Hi babies and dear Anons 👋🏼, me again 🙃. I posted a new Q&A yesterday, and @camrensrealbish (btw hi, bud 👋🏼😄) asked me in the comments if I could create a post just for I LUV IT's two analyses.

@camrensrealbish: “Hi Faby, I love the interpretation of I LUV IT. I luv it, I luv it, I luv it 👌😅. I think it explains so well that this era is not surface-level at all. That thought through lyricism and symbolism is definitely still here. And how we’re so eager to dismiss hyperpop as stupid and without substance, be it for our convictions about femininity or sexuality, or even caution because of how other people use women’s sexuality. But when done purposefully it just shows how showing someone’s sexuality in this way *can* be empowering and authentic. And I think this is the case here. Can you please post your song commentary in a separate post, please? I would like to share it properly 😘”.

I originally wanted to post the two analyses as I did here now, but I couldn't because Tumblr has limited the possibility of posting more than 30 pics and I don't know why the fuck 😤. So thank you, dear 🤗. You gave me the excuse to be able to do it 😉.

Enjoy 😊.

Hiii to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄. I hope you're good too and about your ask, sure 😉.

So. I LUV IT ft. Playboi Carti released on March 27, 2024, is the first single for her fourth LP: C, XOXO. It's a hyperpop/experimental pop song and it samples Lemonade by Gucci Mane and interpolates Cockiness (Love It) by my queen RiRi (Rihanna). The studio recording with Carti was completed on Dec 17, 2023: (Carti's instastory)

Let me tell you something, this song was meant to shock. She pulled a Yes, and? and it worked 😎. For those of you who don't know what I'm referring to by that, I meant that Yes, and? was Ariana Grande's single for her album Eternal Sunshine and it's a diva house/dance-pop song, which was a different and unexpected genre especially then comparing it to the rest of the songs in the album when it was later released. It's a great song, but if it weren't for the concept that connects to two other songs, it would have nothing to do with the rest of the album musically and sonically speaking. It was a calculated idea to make it different from the rest. It's very smart and it's a good strategy for both a comeback and an album. I feel like I LUV IT is exactly the same thing. An impactful comeback was needed and this, together with the platinum blonde and the new era in general, served the purpose. The song was meant to be talked about for better or for worse. And guess what? Mission accomplished 😜.

This song is not for everyone. There are those who loved it right away, those who hated it and still do, and there are those who hated it and then slowly loved it. In reality, most people hated it and then loved it 🤣. I personally didn't hate it but I didn't love it right from the start either, not gonna lie. I just liked it 🤷🏻‍♀️. But after the third listen? Bouncing ass, tongue out, aaaand I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it 🤣!! This song is definitely a grower! The more you listen to it, the more you become addicted to it 😍.

But anyway. Unlike the video, the lyrics talk about sex. So let's get started. Oh and, of course, I won't include Carti's mumbled Atlanta rap or as his fans say, the Cartinese, simply because he wrote his part.

***Btw, I can no longer listen to Carti’s “Oh, you on the road now? - Oh, you grown now? - Oh, you too grown now” without bursting out laughing 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣. I can't help but hear Nas' imitation of Carti's voice in the HE KNOWS music video🤣🤣🤣. For me, those three sentences have now become just one repeated X3: “Oh, you on the floor now” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣***

Oh oh oh, last thing before starting. If you're a prude, LEAVE NOW. Skip the whole lyric analysis and go straight to the music video analysis. The song is about sex like I just said and I therefore won't hold back from explaining certain things, okay? I warned you 🙋🏻‍♀️. I don't wanna see complaints in the comments as happened years ago. Thank you.

Song

Verse 1:

“Supersonic, in your orbit”

So, supersonic. One word from which two derive: super and sonic. Super: above the rest, better than the rest. Sonic: derived from the Latin ‘sonus’ which means sound. Super-sound. Basically a loud noise, a sound/sonic boom that (the actual meaning of supersonic:) breaks the acoustic barrier by traveling at a speed faster than the one of sound. A flight can be supersonic. As well as a missile and even a gun bullet.

An orbit is an ever-changing path one object in space takes around another. An unscientific example? A dog with its favorite toy often orbits their owner insistently because they want to play with them. Speaking from personal experience here 🤣.

***Oh and, lil fun fact. In prostitution specifically, orbit was, and perhaps still is, a code word for oral sex***

Ultimately, “Supersonic, in your orbit” means that Mila is this supersonic boom, this let's even say supersonic shock that orbits around her prey. As I've said many other times in my analysis, Mila likes to use wordplay in her songs and this is basically her artistic way of explaining sexual provocation. She's provoking her target.

“And I’m bad, diabolic”

It's giving intense energy and mischief out of the ordinary 😜. She knows she's good at it (provocation). She has a goal (to sleep with her) and succeeds because we have the aftermath of her intent in the next sentence.

“Bottle rocket, on the carpet”

Her favorite lyrics because many people didn't grasp the meaning 🤣. Definition of bottle rocket: a firework typically consisting of a cylindrical case that is partly filled with combustible material and fastened to a guiding stick which may be placed in a bottle to control the direction of the rocket's launch.

In this case, in sex, bottle rocket is the representation of cuming hard in an explosive way.

Rockets have a phallic shape, so the first thing that's assumed here is that it's the sperm that's on the carpet, also because the song acts as straight 🙄, but where's the deception? Even girls can give someone a bottle rocket. How? By being an explosion and not a normal female cum orgasm, with female ejaculation also known as squirting.

Ergo, she's talking about herself. This song is not about sex with a guy and I can even prove that with the next sentence.

“Threw it back and he caught it”

Round two, doggy-style position. Movements: “Threw it back” her ass “and she caught it” with the hands by placing it directly back on the face aka mouth-tongue (clue about the lil fun fact I mentioned earlier) or by directing the entrance of the cave of wonders on the dildo (since Camren loves toys so much 😜🤣🤭). But, given the “he” because, again, the song acts as straight 🙄, the meaning should make you think of the guiding on the dick. But no. As I said before, I can prove it.

When guys cum, it literally takes them a while before they can go again. Some need 10/15 minutes, others hours or directly the next day because they literally physically can't. It's rare anyway that they manage to go beyond the second round (unless they're in the midst of adolescence and are like 14/15 years old 🤣), and those who miraculously can make it, also last very little and their cum is also very little. And mind you, I'm not saying these things to belittle men. I'm not making anything up. It's the pure truth. Not only have I experienced it myself (cause yes, hi 👋🏼, I've been with my gf for 3 years but I'm bisexual and I've had relationships before her), but these are facts that you can even look up if you don't believe me.

It's obviously not the same for all guys and they're all different, but us girls literally need 5 seconds or nothing at all to recover, and we don't have limits like they do. Unlike males, we females can have multiple orgasms. Sexual arousal and orgasm are possible again right away. So no. It's impossible she was talking about a guy.

If she was really talking about a guy, it's impossible that immediately after his Bottle rocket, on the carpet (yet another proof that Mila was talking about her cuming, her squirting) he didn't need some enough available time for round two (Threw it back and he caught it). Let’s move on 💪🏼.

“I go soprano, baby, go down low”

Soprano in music is the highest note, so in this case, going soprano means she's screaming with pleasure. And in her euphoric state, she guides her partner back down there into her buried treasure.

“And when he leads, I gotta follow”

The movements. Like in dance. In partner dancing, there are those who lead and those who follow. They're designed roles to facilitate the movements. The one who leads manages the body of the one who follows and decides the dance steps and direction of travel from time to time.

The thing that makes me laugh about this part is the “when he leads”. “When” 🤣🤣🤣. Because she's the top and she's the one who leads most of the time because Laur's the bottom (even though they're both also switch) so when Lo leads, when, sometimes, occasionally, I gotta follow 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. Oh Mila 🤦🏻‍♀️🙈🤣.

“I’m blackin’ out, I’m on a spiral”

She feels out of control (spiral) because the ending is so beautiful that it almost makes her lose consciousness (blackin’ out).

“I need you now and tomorrow”

And forever.

I’d also like to add a deeper meaning of sex to I’m blackin’ out, I’m on a spiral – I need you now and tomorrow. Although she said the song is about sex, she also said:

“Part of that cocktail is also the emotional drama between you and that person, and the chaos and butterflies and nerves and passion. It’s unsustainable and not peaceful and exhausting, but also, I LUV IT.” – “Now I feel kind of lonely and small and weird, but at the same time, I’m an adult and I feel so strong in other areas of my life, but not this one. There’s just the wrestling of those feelings without it being kind of neat or in a box. You can’t really say that it’s a sad song, you can’t really pin it down. It’s just kind of me wrestling with these feelings and me kind of being really present on a particular feeling and exploring it. I feel like a lot of songs on the album are that”.

So going deeper, “I’m blackin’ out, I’m on a spiral” indicate her anxiety. Being on a spiral or simply spiraling, is an emotional state that rapidly worsens in a way that becomes increasingly difficult to control and often leads to short-term periods of anxiety or depression. Aka her OCD gets triggered. Which by the way, I remind you that for her leads to obsessions and repetitive thoughts. And in a certain way, we can also see it in the repetition of the same phrase in the chorus.

So here she's saying: 1) I’m blackin’ out, aka I'm going crazy, I'm freaking out (connection/thing that reminds me a lot of “Am I out of my head? Am I out of my mind?” Bad Things [analysis here (eleventh ask)]) 2) I’m on a spiral, aka I'm anxious, distressed, worried, fearful. Why? Because I don't wanna lose you aka 3): I need you now and tomorrow. This alludes to the desire for connection and intimacy that goes beyond sex.

Both meanings (sexual and deeper) however indicate the intensity of her uncontrollable and erratic emotions towards as she said “that person” Lauren. But she doesn't care. “It’s unsustainable and not peaceful and exhausting, but also, I…?” She…? She what? Sing it all together🎤🎵🎶👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼:

Chorus:

“I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, ooh

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it”

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7…...

27.   27……

27 times, huh? 😜 What a wonderful coincidence! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 of all the numbers, precisely the 27. Would you look at that 🤣🤣.

No seriously tho. The words have to fit and respect the tempo of the song, but coincidence or not it's still funny for me 🤭.

Post-Chorus 1:

“Lemons on the chain with the V-cuts (X2)

Lemons in their face, watch ’em freeze up (x2)”

This part was sampled from the song Lemonade by Gucci Mane. Lemons are basically yellow diamonds (known as Canary Diamonds) cut/engraved in the shape of the letter V (an expensive method of cutting diamonds).

The meaning behind that would be that people would “freeze up” in shock at seeing this display of wealth and success, these lemons/diamonds, “in their face”s. They're oh so surprised and intimidated that they even freeze up for this luxury lifestyle thrown in their faces.

Umm………. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Do we really care? Of that? Okay 🤣. About something she didn't even write? Something that she literally took copied and pasted into the song? Pfft, okay. Can we move on? Thank you 🤣.

Verse 2:

“Super twisted, sick addicted”

Twisted: someone who's mentally or emotionally unhealthy or disturbed: sick. --> Sick addicted: someone who's unable to stop doing something as a habit. Ergo, she's saying that she likes/enjoys it a lot and wants to spend as much time as possible doing what they're doing: sex.

Nonsexual meaning: She's using strong words to describe not only herself but also what their relationship is like. They may be twisted, and addicted, and toxic, and all the other things we've seen in their songs, but no matter what, she/they LUV IT, cause they luuuv each other.

“Kiss me hard, someday you’ll miss this”

A dig for all those times they break up or take breaks.

“Meteor shower, in your power”

What's a meteor shower?

The meteor shower is nothing other than what we commonly call shooting stars. These are obviously not stars, but meteors. Meteors are the aftermath of asteroids and comets that ORBITATED the SUN.

Asteroids (celestial bodies composed of rocky bodies) and comets (celestial bodies composed of frozen gases) become meteoroids when they fragment. In turn, meteoroids ignite and disintegrate when they enter our solar system, becoming meteors, ergo shooting stars. Those that don't disintegrate and manage to touch the earth's ground instead become meteorites.

How does a meteor shower happen?

The meteor shower happens when the earth, in its ORBIT around the SUN, crosses an area in which fragments of rock and dust (meteoroids) lost from a comet or an asteroid (celestial bodies made of rock, dust, and ice coming from the outermost areas of the solar system) are concentrated. When an asteroid and a comet heat up as they pass close to the sun, they reach such temperatures that they fragment even more (meteoroids) and when these very tiny fragments enter our atmosphere, they ignite and burn due to friction by generally developing tails, luminous trails (shooting stars) until they vaporize or leave debris (meteorites) behind.

Lil fun fact: some meteorites found on earth come from the MOON 🤭🤣. Most come from destroyed comets and asteroids, but some come from Mars or the moon.

So, after this compelling little science lesson, I can explain what Mila means by “Meteor shower, in your power”.

It's very simple actually. A meteor shower is a celestial event. She's comparing their sex to this astronomical phenomenon, the “Meteor shower”. The “in your power” is due to the fact that Lo’s the one who’s leading as we saw in “And when he leads, I gotta follow” in the first verse.

“Seein’ stars, oh my God”

The retina sends light signals to the brain by making sparks, stars, or flashes of light appear in the visual field. When does this happen? It usually has to do with the head. You've made a movement too fast, like standing up suddenly, or you've been hit on the head, or you're about to lose consciousness, etc. These are all negative aspects, but we're talking about something positive here. Sex.

This amazing sex (Meteor shower), this second round (Threw it back and she caught it), brings her to another orgasm (maybe even another Bottle rocket 🤷🏻‍♀️😏) during which she feels so bewildered, so dizzy, and she experiences this very surreal feeling that overwhelmed her by even Seein’ stars during it. Seein’ stars: to climax, to achieve orgasm.

This can very well be connected with ““I’m blackin’ out, I’m on a spiral” She feels out of control (spiral) because the ending is so beautiful that it almost makes her lose consciousness (blackin’ out)” that I explained earlier.

Oh and, the “oh my God” was her, um 🤣, comment, to express that ending if it wasn't already obvious enough 🤣.

Bridge:

“Slow down, baby”

All of Playboi Carti's “Uh, uh, uh, uh” before Mila's “Slow down, baby”, at least to me, indicate the thrust of the act. Again, he “sings” them to prove the song is straight 🙄, but we know the truth. Anyway. The “Slow down, baby” means exactly that. Either Mila's settling down from the end of round two and needs a tiny bit more time to go as fast as they were going before, or she simply wants this third round to go at a slower pace than the previous one, or better yet, Slow down, baby like in ‘stop, it's my turn now’ (to lead).

Another proof that this doesn't talk about sex with a guy. As I said before, it's rare for guys to get beyond 2 rounds, so let alone a third one 🤣. Sorry, not sorry, but it's literally the truth 🤣.

And that's it. I luv the fact that Camila's lyrics in this song talk about sex but she uses words that still perfectly capture the magnetic attraction between the two of them. I luv how she's quite unapologetic about it. And I LUUUV how she also used these cosmic references in general, but above all, how they anyway hide in a certain way the two important celestial bodies in our sky and solar system: their representation, aka the moon and the sun.

Now let's move on to the music video where everything that could go wrong happens 👍🏼🤣. What is she trying to convey here? Let's find out.

Music video

Opening scene. A Robin Hood wannabe who takes coins from his pocket.

Three empty stationary police cars in a driveway while an aspiring lumberjack cop is, for what initially appears to be, cutting down a tree to prepare for winter.

KhaleesiMila enters the scene 5 seconds before she starts singing. She looks like she just came back home from the night before given her outfit and her slightly messy hair. But not her makeup. The makeup is perfect of course because it's still a music video 😉.

She enters the kitchen with a chocolate cake in one hand while with the other she nonchalantly tosses her heels in a spot where it's very usual for us girls to leave them 🤣: at the doorway or in the bedroom on the kitchen counter.

She starts singing and eating a piece of chocolate cake at the same time.

At the same moment as the first bite of the cake, we have a really well-done perfect transition of her spitting her mouthguard out in a somewhat snobbish but challenging and provocative way because she's ready to fight against a professional female wrestler.

Soon after we have a 3-second split shot of her chewing the cake in the kitchen again and her and Carti in the gas station, before cutting to a long one where we have the reappearance of the archer from the opening scene.

From this moment on, all the small shots, the little introductions that we initially had, are explained a little bit more extensively with longer scenes and shots. Still messy 🤣, but longer.

Hospital part 1

Now that we see the surroundings, we notice how Legolas wannabe is in the corridor of a hospital and that the coins he took from his pocket in the opening scene, he needed them to get something like a chocolate bar from the vending machine. After taking it, he walks back to a white-dressed Mila who's sitting with an arrow in her heart.

A flash passed before my eyes and for a moment I was back in 2019. Why? Liar. The cover art picture of the song portrays her as an angel with wings.

Camila explained that Cupid strikes her with his bow to make her fall from heaven and unmask her, by making her not so angelic anymore because she's actually a liar who's hiding something, that is a secret [hmm, I wonder which one 😏😎🤫🤐🤣]. This whole story created for the song inspired the visual for the entire album Romance (whole album inspired by the surrealism of a museum of love stories in heaven).

So I asked myself, what is this? A connection to Romance but direct to Liar? No. I'd say more that she paid homage to it since even though the lyrics are about sex, the ideology of the video is about their toxic relationship and how she knows it's toxic but she LUVs IT anyway.

Anyhow, I guess that at the arrow in the heart scene, you all thought that the Green Arrow wannabe was Cupid. Same thing here, mostly because of the connection with Liar. I initially thought: “Oooh, it's Cupid! Cupid shot her with his arrow, ergo she's in love. But she's lovesick, and because of this the hospital: love - sick”. Then I saw the whole scene (plus the ending which I'll explain, well, at the end 🤣) and I realized: “Nope. Not Cupid. Not Cupid at all. Hi, Lauren 👋🏼”.

***Let's be clear. This is a music video. A creative and imaginative way of portraying objects, people, and scenarios in general. Yes, it's Camila's POV, but Lauren isn't that bitchy and dickish in real life. Okay? Every artist does it. It's art. Literally, as the word implies.***

So, back to the scene. Rewind. Lauren Hawkeye wannabe takes the candy bar from the vending machine and goes back to Mila. *This is the point where I got to before.* He doesn't even look at her. He just sits. Contrary to her who follows him with her gaze as he sits down and she also turns her head to look at him one more time before looking straight ahead.

That chocolate bar or whatever the fuck it is, it's not even for her. He took it for himself without even having the thought of taking it for her or taking something for her as well. I mean he's like, he's there for her. He went with her and he accompanied her also because he hit her with an arrow. Like yeah, we know that. We can see that. But even though he's there for her, he at the same time doesn't acknowledge or address her at all. He's just there. Present and not. Waiting for her turn.

While she, even smiles with her mouth closed as he's returning to her, but it's a smile I'd say forced. A kind of smile that masks how uncomfortable she feels. It's a wan smile that shows no energy or enthusiasm. It's a stoical ‘grin-and-bear-it because you're used to it after all’ kind of expression. That smile alone makes you understand how ‘normal’ this situation is for her. She's so used to it that it's a standard routine for her. It doesn't come as a surprise.

In a situation like this one, in a hospital, with an arrow in the chest/heart, anger or pain or both reactions are what you expect to be shown by her. But no. She's just there. Waiting for her turn.

Meaning behind this? The arrow in the heart represents a metaphorical way to express the idea that love can be both powerful and overwhelming, capable of causing joy and pain in equal measure. In this case however, the arrow in the heart doesn't represent a tender sweet and romantic symbol of Cupid and Valentine's Day. It represents a heart-piercing emotional pain. In this case, that arrow is nothing more than a heart-stopping arrow through the heart.

Fight & Dogs

In the next scene we have the professional female wrestler again. Like when she spat her mouthguard out in the opening brief shot, Mila continues to have this defiant attitude *she’s so hot there btw 🤤🥵*.

She shows herself as very self-confident with this superior aura and this cockiness that gives off an ‘I can kick your ass’ vibe. All of this flies out the window the moment the wrestler makes her move against her and Mila shits in her pants and starts running away 🤣.

At the same time that she starts running, we have another perfect transition of a running dog.

Then we have another very brief shot of her continuing to eat the cake in the kitchen, before alternating the fight with the wrestler and not just one dog running randomly, but her being chased by no less than three dogs 🤣.

These two scenes are connected on the part of running for your life. Literally as far as the dogs are concerned 🤣. And speaking of the dogs, the scene represents the danger and risks of being in love with someone. It represents all the feelings of chaos that go along with it. It represents feeling afraid and helpless with a constant internal battle of anxiety and fear. Being chased by dogs is stressful, scary, and unpleasant, BUT, it's even adrenaline-pumping and the depiction of it, is basically like an excited nightmare that represents not knowing where things are leading. Running into the unknown. She's scared but she does it anyway because the journey is electrifying.

Going back and talking about the scene with the wrestler, the running scared to avoid the actual physical fight is the representation of avoiding the confrontation. And that's something we know Mila does thanks to both her and Lauren. We also know this because in 2016 she herself said that she avoids conflicts with people. It's a vice/bad habit that she's always had.

BUT, no matter how much she tries to run away and avoid this confrontation, it always happens. Sooner or later, she eventually always finds herself having to face the problem unwillingly or not. The representation of this in the video is when she's captured. We actually see this section almost at the end of the video after Carti’s “🎵tursin-eh-oh-and-halloh-eh-halloh-eh-halloh-I'm out o-controool🎵” 🤣🤣🤣. We see the wrestler chasing and catching Mila, which leads to the headlock wrestling move.

Now let's talk about this section with the headlock that we see both at the end and currently in the first chorus of the part of the video where we are. Specifically this one here. We see several headlocks in sequence, but the one I want to focus on is the second one, where the wrestler is enacting the chokehold with only one arm.

Like, umm… 🤭 The way you caress her arm and look at her, and the way you sing “I luv it” with your tongue sticking out in that seductive way 🔥.

I mean... Mila, honey…😏 I see you! 🤣

No wonder in the BTS of the video she said: “I've been the most excited for this scene all day”. Hmm 🤔, I wonder why is that 🤣🤣🤣. Just as I'm not surprised by the other clue she gave in the interview with Bru On The Radio when talking about the scene: “It's like a little homoerotic. It's cool! But um- * she bursts out laughing by looking to the side* -yeah”.

Homoerotic: 1) (especially of art, literature, drama, or the like) using symbolism, allusions, situations, etc., that invoke sexual attraction or activity between people of the same gender. Example: There's definitely some homoerotic subtext in that book. 2) having sexual attraction to people of one's own sex or gender, especially when that attraction is repressed. Example: To say a man has a “streak of lavender” means that he has homoerotic desires. 3) relating or involving sexual activity between people of the same sex. Specifically: marked by, revealing, or portraying sexual desire between people of the same sex.

I have nothing else to add, Your Honor. I have nothing else to add 😎🤣.

No but seriously now. She doesn't act that way during the other headlocks. In those, she tries to fight back and somehow defend herself by trying to free herself. We see her react in a rather normal way to that type of situation. But in that particular hold? Nope 🤣. We can see how much she likes it. How attracted and aroused she is. The reactions she has during the other headlocks represent her external side, what really happens and what she lets see. While in that particular one, we see the toxicity of what happens in her inner part. The “I luv it” to the choking which on a larger scale, represents her toxicity in loving the pain. Even though they're fighting and she hates the confrontation and is in pain, she LUVs IT anyway because she luvs HER.

***Mind you that this is only an additional representation and seen in a more generic way. I don't see it as fitting to the theme of the music video as much as the one I've already explained to you now.*** A broader meaning could also be the representation of how the love for Lauren is so strong that she can't fight it. We've seen this other times in the lyrics of songs like This Love [analysis here (the penultimate ask)] and Señorita [analysis here (the last ask)] where Mila was having an inner struggle because, on the one hand, she wanted to protect her feelings, and on the other, she couldn't resist her. Ergo, the scene where she tries to fight this love, the professional wrestler, but she loses and thus is ultimately defeated.

House

Next scene we have her continuing to eat the chocolate cake plus this guy who comes in and rides around her house on his motorcycle and she does nothing.

Let's dwell for a moment on her eating.

Where have we seen something like this before (besides the reality of everyday life)? In every damn movie and TV show since forever 🤣. Someone is sad for some X reason like they had a fight with someone, or they're going through a breakup, and what do they do? They eat either something chocolate or ice cream. 90% of the time it's something chocolate related. Why? Because when consumed, it releases endorphins in the brain that produce a mild feeling of euphoria by mimicking the feeling of being in love. This is why chocolate is called the love drug. It gives comfort and joy and when we're down, we emotionally crave chocolate because we're unsatisfied with something.

Her eating chocolate cake in this case is an indication of unsatisfied desires and emotional needs.

Now let's go back to the guy with the motorcycle. He's destroying everything in his path and she's simply there, munching on her cake unbothered.

He's causing a mess but she doesn't even try to stop him. She doesn't get angry, she doesn't scream, nothing. And why? Because as I said before by talking about that type of smile in the hospital, this situation is ‘normal’ for her. She doesn't react simply because she's used to it. The chaos of their relationship doesn't surprise her also because, I mean, it's been years and years.

The house depicts her head and what happens in it. Him destroying the house is a representation of how she sees his bringing chaos into her life and their relationship. On a deeper level, her not reacting to the destruction of the house represents the fact that she's so in love that she ignores bad and toxic behaviors. The whole scene represents the toxicity and destruction that a relationship can bring into your life but you keep trying because you LUV IT. Lauren brings love, happiness, passion, euphoria, but she also brings chaos which also encompasses mess, confusion, disarray, whether all good or bad. We also saw this type of example in the lyrics of Consequences [analysis here (penultimate ask)].

Successively we have a mix of scenes, among which are the cop one of the opening scene, the car one, and the bathroom one.

Palm tree

We can finally see that this aspiring lumberjack cop is chopping this palm tree because Camila is on top of it.

Now, I have two interpretations for this. The palm tree represents Lauren/their toxic love in both interpretations.

N° 1, she's stuck on the tree. Being stuck represents her way of saying that there's no way out of their toxic relationship even though someone (represented by the cop) or more than someone (since there are 3 police cars even though we only see one cop) tries to get her out of this situation.

N° 2, the one I see as the most truthful, the most right one. She's not stuck on the tree. Mila is Walzing it 🤣🤣🤣 (for those who don't know, Dinah used to call Mila ‘Walz’ and here you can find the reason why the nickname was born). Her koalaing the tree also represents her co-dependence. She's clinging to it and doesn't want to let go.

She's on the very high point of the tree; visual meaning: danger. If she were to fall, she would die or be seriously injured. But she doesn't care. She's ready to risk her life. Deeper for the representation: her love is so strong, that she's ready to risk it (“I'll risk it all”, as we've already seen in Used to This [part of the interpretation that you can find in the analysis of Only Told the Moon here]). She's ready to risk everything/risk it all even if she were to lose her heart and if it were to affect even her mental and physical health as we've already seen in the lyrics of Consequences.

Even in this case, the cop represents someone or more than someone in her life who tries to get her out of this situation. They use extreme ways to do this, representative of getting her down: cutting down the tree. Why? Why doesn't this cop who clearly knows that this person is experiencing some kind of problem call the fire truck to bring a ladder to save her since that's what's normally done in these situations? Or he doesn't go directly and find one himself? Why doesn't he talk to her and try to reason with her to get her down?

Because it's not the first time this has happened. The cop (her family, her friends) is so used to and tired of seeing their on-again, off-again/cycle/loop/circle, that he decides to help her in a more brutal way in this case. Representation: chopping down the tree. It doesn't matter tho. It doesn't matter that other people try to help her in hard ways. She doesn't wanna lose her, and therefore she depicts how even though she knows it's a toxic relationship, she's clinging (codependent) to it and continues to love her because she doesn't want to depart/separate herself no matter what. Reason why we even see her singing “I luv it” while she’s glued to the tree.

Car

Speaking of falling (and how these two scenes are connected). Instead of that tree, here we see her having fallen over a car. Part of the car is destroyed, as is she. It's a representation of being in love and how it can sometimes destroy you. But again, we even see her singing “I luv it” because she doesn't care.

She doesn't care about falling and being crushed by/for her. They've taken a lot of risks over the years. They've suffered, they've hurt each other, and they've fallen down and gotten up every single time. And those wounds, in the video are represented as real wounds with cuts, bruises, gashes, and all that jazz.

She doesn't even care when we, the public and the fans, see her destroyed like that. We've seen it many times, especially after years and years spent growing up in the public eye. By this, I'm obviously referring to the woman who's immortalizing the scene with her phone.

Although that, it's also a representation of what would actually happen in today's world: instead of helping or calling an ambulance, the woman is filming or taking pics.

Bathroom & Bedroom

Contrary to the connection that the tree and the car scenes have, this one is connected to the ones of the dogs and the professional female wrestler.

We first see her in the bathroom. She looks in the mirror and even lifts her shirt up to look at her belly. Let's say normal things that we all do, and so far, nothing strange. Then we also see her perplexed and undecided tho (when she sighs with her finger in her mouth). And we see her rehearsing. We see her change her expression to a determined one and make the gun gesture with the fingers of her hand.

***Sorry but I have to tell you guys 🤣🤣🤣. I found it extremely funny how she made the gun gesture with her fingers precisely at “someday you’ll miss this”. THIS and bam: fingers out 😏😎🤣.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry 🤣🤣 one day she'll miss, what, Mila? Your gay fingers?🤣🤣🤣 Oooooookay 😉🤣***

Back to normal. All that represents her mentally preparing herself, and for what? For what we then see in the bedroom. Before heading there, we can see her expression of determination but more importantly, we can see her pissed-off expression.

She walks into the bedroom with this imaginary automatic machine gun that she uses to shoot and destroy the bed. As she does that, the footage also shows us the rest of the room, and what do I spy with my little eye 🧐? A frame hanging on the wall. And what's in that frame? Five boys with the word ‘sorry’ written on their backs.

Wait a second, wait a second… FIVE???? 😲 Five as a reference to Fifth Harmony? 😱 Five as in 5H because it's a hidden clue to confirm that she's talking about Lauren? 🤯 WHAAAAAT??? 😵

Yes, guys, yes. For those who haven't noticed, the answer is yes. Camila doesn't do things shittily. There's always meaning in the things she does, whether it's hidden or not. And if anyone tries to tell you otherwise or something different about that clue, don't be fooled. Why 5? Explain the 5 otherwise? They could've used a thousand different things like, for example, an apology/sorry note left on the bedside table, or even just one guy with sorry on his back in that frame since all of this is supposed to be straight and about a guy 🙄. But no. They used FIVE of them specifically.

Moving on.

The rehearsals she was doing in the bathroom that we later saw lead to the destruction of the bed with the imaginary automatic machine gun, were all due to Mila being pissed off about something Laur had done. Something we know thanks to the not-so-hidden apology message in the frame. Now I don't know about you 🎤🎶but I'm feeling 22 🎶🎤 sorry but I had to 🤣 but I know that even though Camila is magical, she doesn't really have powers 🤣. So even though this is the representation of her being pissed at Lo, she didn't actually shoot the bed. It was all in her head. She was just imagining doing it. Yeah, she was angry, but we also know that she'd run away in reality to try to avoid conflicts as we saw in the scene with the dogs and in the scene with the wrestler (aka Laur herself), during which, however, we also saw that the wrestler captures her and that therefore Mila was then forced to face.

Hospital part 2

During the mix of these three scenes (Palm Tree - Car - Bathroom & Bedroom) just discussed, we have two small shots of Mila in the hospital. The first during “oh my God” and the second during “I luv it”.

We see her looking in one direction before saying “oh my God”. It's an exasperated “oh my God” because no one's assisting her yet.

She sings “I luv it” by tapping her finger to her temple in rhythm but we can see how impatient she's starting to get for the wait. Yeah, she luvs it, she luvs it, she luvs it, she luvs it, she luvs it, she luvs it, she luvs it, but she's irritated and frustrated.

Gas station

Mila and her friends pull over into this gas station. A guy with long hair immediately approaches to serve them, but instead of refueling the car as we normally expected, he does it to them. He takes the pump and fills their glasses with gasoline, even though we know very well that it was actually nothing more than “some disgusting water-down apple juice”, according to Mila herself.

All this during “Lemons on the chain with the V-cuts (X4) - Lemons in their face, watch ’em freeze up (x4)” Oh well, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade Camila Cabello drinks gasoline 🤣.

Sorry, sorry 🤣. Joking aside now.

Drinking alcohol produces euphoria. It's stimulating, exciting, and lowers inhibitions and control. It's intoxicating, and although this word usually indicates something positive, it can also represent something negative especially when associated with alcohol. Drinking alcohol is intoxicating in a good way, but if done too much, it's intoxicating in a harmful way. In this case, alcohol is the representation of another hyperbolic metaphor. It's yet another concept represented in an exaggerated way. Gasoline, fuel, or whatever the hell it was, is obviously toxic. Ingesting it is dangerous. It's yet another representation of their toxic relationship and tendencies and how she doesn't care going against all common sense because she LUVs IT.

There would also be another possible meaning behind this scene due to Playboi Carti's verse. He talks about drugs (Novocaine and Mary Jane), luxury cars (Lamborghini Aventador SVJ), and rebellious life in general.

Novocaine is a drug used as a local anesthetic normally by dentists. Mary Jane is the literal English translation of the name Marijuana. Spanish: Maria/Mari. English translation: Mary. Spanish: Juana. English translation: Jane. Ergo, Marijuana: Mary Jane. In the past when drug users talked about marijuana, they called it Mary Jane so as not to arouse police suspicion.

I explained all this because specifically his talk about drugs made me think of a different possible meaning behind this scene. You see in the US, many drug dealers operate out of gas stations. Mila and her friends are getting gas at the gas station. In slang, ‘gas’ is a noun made popular by rappers to refer to weed/marijuana.

It might be that the scene has both meanings. Alcohol for her and drugs for him. Who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️. Maybe we would've seen it for real if Carti hadn't arrived late for the video shoot. But anyway.

Right after that, we have the dance scene. I have two interpretations for that even here. Both true.

The first one: Don't expect me to say sweet and predictable things like that she's dancing hypnotized because she's drunk on love 🤣. Nope. The blindfold is supposed to represent how blinded she is by love and shit, right? The typical phrase ‘love is blind’ that makes someone unable to see the flaws of the person they love. True, but at the same time in her case, bullshit tho. Buuuullshit! Because we saw throughout the video how she's aware of everything.

She chose to put the blindfold on and dance freely whether it's just for fun or distraction or to literally dance the pain away. She chose to put it on to ‘not see’ the flaws, the toxicity, and all the negative things. She knows. She knows they're there. It's just her choice to ignore them because, once again, she doesn't care because she luvs it and her.

The second one: Based on the getting gas in the previous shot, whether it's just alcohol or whether it's also marijuana, that's why right after that scene we see Carti with his hoodie backwards (it's literally backwards, look closely) before he starts singing and Mila and the girls dancing together blindfolded with X’s over their eyes.

It represents the beginning of the effect. 😵: literally the dizziness of drunkenness and/or stonedness. In a deeper way, it represents love being a drug/addiction to live to the fullest (dancing).

Again whether it's just alcohol or weed, that's also the reason why at the end of the video they're both comfortable and relaxed in eating calmly as if they don't have a care in the world (despite the video being completely the opposite). Both alcohol and weed increase hunger and appetite, sometimes leading to strange and uncontrollable cravings. That represents half to almost the end of the effect.

Hospital part 3

She's still waiting. She's still waiting for someone to help her remove that fucking arrow from her chest. The whole reason she's been there waiting for probably hours. Nurses even walk past in front of her but still no one assists her. As before, she's still annoyed, but now she's also discouraged and sad. Not only that, but the male version of a Katniss Everdeen wannabe is also gone. Representation of a breakup or one of their breaks. Mila's alone, and suddenly, the wound begins to bleed.

In this case, the arrow through her heart symbolizes feeling emotionally hurt. Since loving someone is not always a walk in dreamland, but it also consists of twists and turns and can really fucking hurt you, here we see how her heart starts dripping blood. The bleeding can also represent how toxic relationships leave you in the end. Again, love is pain but she LUVs IT.

Thing more important, the wound begins to bleed because she's no longer with her. It didn't do it the entire time Laur was with her, but her heart started to bleed in pain only after she left. Representation of how her heart, although already wounded (arrow) by her/for her, cannot bear to be without her (bleeding). As I also explained in my This Love’s interpretation, the choice over the years has often been between having her and suffering, or not having her at all, and as we know, she always chose her.

The end

So, that was the music video. It gave me Miami and Florida. It gave me GTA and crack house feelings 🤣. It gave me wildness and adrenaline. It gave me roller coaster. It gave me college students traveling for the holidays/Spring Breakers movie. *For those who don't know what I'm talking about 👇🏼*

Especially here with this promo.

*Last minute edit: she just said Spring Breakers is one of the inspired aesthetics for the new era*

She in specific, gave me addicted to pain. She gave me impulsiveness. She gave me a fast-paced lifestyle, full of passion, desire, and disregard for consequences. She gave me vibe. She gave me boujee. She gave me dance. She gave me actress and humor as has also happened in other videos in the past (although less than those ones) such as for example Havana, Liar, My Oh My, Bam Bam, Don’t Go Yet, etc. (it's not the first time Camila's been in ridiculous situations in her videos). She gave me chaos begets chaos, and in order to maintain sanity, one must embrace the insanity. Or in her case, a palm tree 🤣🤣🤣.

I mean, all in all and in its complexity, I really enjoyed it. She said the theme of the video is chaos and danger, and we saw that. In the interview with Bru On The Radio, still talking about the video, she said: “This complex feeling of loving the pain of something, or loving the messiness of something, or loving the chaos of something, really kind of like finding the beauty in that part of our humanity”. And we saw that too.

And as if it wasn't clear enough already, the video is an artistic representation of the toxic tendencies and behaviors of their toxic relationship in general throughout all these years. And yes, their as in both of them, not just her as in Lauren's. I told you guys in the beginning that it's Camila's POV and I explained that Lauren isn't that bitchy and dickish in real life, but we don't just see Laur's toxic tendencies and behaviors from Mila's POV in the video. We actually see Mila's a lot more. Let me explain.

We saw how Laur brings chaos into Mila's life and their relationship (house scene). She's hurt her (shot her with an arrow through the heart), she doesn't acknowledge her in the hospital, and she also leaves at the end. The leaving her there (breakup or break) in those conditions as well as not taking something for her too from the vending machine is a neglect; another trait of a toxic relationship. That's all. That's what we see as far as Lauren is concerned. Mila on the other hand…

She's the one who's unbothered, especially in the beginning, in having an arrow in her heart, aka being hurt. She's the one who doesn't react when Lo destroys the house, aka when Laur has toxic behavior towards her. Still her the one who runs away from her problems so as not to face them and avoids conflicts (dogs and wrestler). In fact, if that's why, I wanna put in a good word for Laur in this case since she fights her by forcing her to confront her, aka talk about their problems. Still Mila the one who uses an imaginary automatic machine gun to shoot and destroy the bed symbolically in her head just because she’s angry with her. She's the one who crashes herself on top of a car and risks her life on other occasions with the dogs, the palm tree, and by drinking gasoline. I mean, see what I mean?

Who's the most toxic one we see here? And again, this is just a video. Not the reality. I feel like I always have to specify these things with you guys because one never knows you misinterpreted it 🤣. But anyway. I'm happy Mila did it. I'm happy that Mila represented even her toxicity since for many years due to her songs people only and always blamed Lauren. It's something I've been saying for years 💁🏻‍♀️. They both have their faults. There are two people in the couple and there are always two sides to a story. Not just one.

In any case, that's it, dear Anon. I hope you enjoyed both analysis 🙃.

🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍

Aaand I'm done 👅. Thank you all for your asks and I hope I've been helpful this time too 🙃. As usual, I'm always available for those who have questions, so ask away 😄.

Remember to be nice. Always. Both with others and with yourselves. Be a good example. Be patient. Be safe and take care of yourselves. Don't let our ship sink. Keep shipping them, but please respectfully 🙏🏼. Sending you virtual love and hugs 🤗🤗🤗. I love you, babies. Always with love, F ❤️.

[therecordconnection]

On Katy Perry and the Failure of 143

“And then there was the time that she performed When nobody called for more And soon every time she stepped into the light They really let her know the score” - Genesis, “Duchess”

“I had a change of heart.”

Those are the first words Anthony Fantano says before beginning his review of Katy Perry’s newest album, 143. What that sentence is in reference to remains a mystery for the entire review. For me, I think it’s in reference to him deciding to even cover the album in the first place; knowing that he is far from the only critic who is going to give it a negative review. Regardless, he proceeds to call the album one of the “biggest pop conundrums of the year.” He is absolutely correct in that statement.

2024 has been an absolutely dynamite year for pop music across the board. Women have been running things and the music has never been more incredible, both in the mainstream world and in indie circles. Just off the top of my head, Short n’ Sweet by Sabrina Carpenter, The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess by Chappell Roan (which came out in 2023 but really hit this year), Hit Me Hard and Soft by Billie Eilish, Older by Lizzy McAlphine, Charm by Clairo, Imaginal Disk by Magdalena Bay, Brat by Charli XCX. All of these albums have been wonderful experiences and fantastic events. We’ve been blessed with an absolutely wonderful harvest this year and the faith in pop music has more than been restored. I probably missed so much of the great stuff that came out this year just because it’s been impossible to keep up.

But it hasn’t been great for everybody.

Dua Lipa’s Radical Optimism ended up underperforming and not doing what people expected. That new Camilla Cabello album (C,XOXO) was the first time she’s missed the Top 10 with a new release. Sia had an album come out this year (I’m not kidding) and it didn’t do well at all (debuted at #153 on the Billboard 200 Album Chart. Yikes.) But the woman who is having the absolute worst year in terms of releasing music is Katy Perry. It’s not a contest.

143 (honestly a stupid title, but there’s worse out there) has been critically thrashed by just about every professional outlet and friend you can think of. It’s been like watching Prime Mike Tyson knock out Michael Spinks in Round 1. You knew how it was going to play out before the album even came out. The poor thing never stood a chance. From the moment she even announced the album, people were expecting failure on par with the failure of her 2017 album Witness, which most people thought was the last album Katy released. It wasn’t! Smile came out in 2020 and flew so low under the radar that I’m willing to bet that you, dear reader, didn’t even know it existed.

The rollout of 143 is the closest I’ll ever get to experiencing musical time travel, because it felt like I had gone back to 2017 with knowledge of how to prevent a disaster, but ultimately being unable to change the timeline and being forced to watch it happen again. Every single bad decision Katy Perry made during the Witness era was repeated... only somehow, every decision that was made was even worse this time around.

You can take your pick on what the worst part of the whole rollout was. Was it when Katy revealed she would be working with Dr. Luke, the scumbag producer and the guy who “allegedly” sexually abused Kesha (and others)? (For the record: She’s not the only person who’s been called out for working with Luke, but she is the most mainstream name to do it, so that’s why it’s been loudest with her). Maybe it was when the world heard the first new Katy Perry music in four years with “Woman’s World” it was critically reviled. Smarter people than me wrote a bunch of absolutely scathing reviews exploring that song’s awful attempts at being a feminist anthem. (My two favorites include Laura Snapes’ hilarious bashing of the song for The Guardian and Shaad D’Souza’s brutal write-up of it via Pitchfork. There was no shortage of write-ups and thinkpieces destroying the song.) All I can add to that is that it sounds like Katy definitely submitted it for inclusion in the Barbie movie from last year... and it definitely got rejected if that was the case. Either way, it ended up as the first single for 143 and people rejected it harder than I think I’ve ever seen a song be rejected. She only made things worse when she tried claiming the song and the video were satire. It only gave writers more things to shoot at. It was a dumb move. Oh! How about when Katy filmed a video for follow-up single “Lifetimes” and is now under investigation as to whether she had a negative ecological impact on Spain’s Balearic Islands (which includes Ibiza and S’Espalmador)? What I’m trying to say is that Katy hasn’t had the most glimmering public reputation recently. Even before the 143 rollout, she had been landing in different bodies of hot water. Stereogum’s Tom Breihan summed up the last few years of PerryMania pretty well when he covered her final #1 hit for “The Number Ones” (an excellent column you should be reading):

For the past few years, she’s existed firmly in the cloistered celebrity-weirdo zone. She sang at the Biden inauguration and the Charles coronation. She backed bloodsucking billionaire Rick Caruso’s unsuccessful attempt to buy his way into becoming Los Angeles mayor. She bought a former convent and got into a legal battle with the nuns who’d lived there, one of whom collapsed and died in court. Then she got into another lawsuit after allegedly pressuring another octogenarian into selling her his house. Last year, a proposed California law shielding seniors from financial exploitation became known as the “Katy PERRY Act,” with the “PERRY” supposedly standing for “Protecting Elder Realty for Retirement Years.” Wild shit. - Tom Breihan, “The Number Ones: Katy Perry’s “Dark Horse” (Feat. Juicy J)”

People call Tate McRae and Camilla Cabello mid or bad or whatever, but neither of those women have done any of those things, so most people just dunk on them in a quote tweet and move on with their day. With Katy and 143, everybody just wanted to see her crash and burn... again. People already want Todd in the Shadows to do a second Trainwreckords episode on her (the Witness is one of his best if you haven’t seen it). I’ve seen people dunk on bad pop albums before, but this one was insanely rough. People have loved tearing this one apart and some of it has definitely been a little too malicious. The album isn’t great by any stretch of the imagination, but certainly not the worst album I’ve ever heard. It’s a mid album from a woman who was a superstar fifteen years ago and is still trapped in the past using tricks that haven’t worked since she was a star. If the music on the album has committed any “crime”, that’s it. Rather than provide another tired takedown of Katy Perry’s newest flop era, I’d rather write about the conversation Katy and this new album inspired.

A few days ago, my lovely friend @kyrsteniopsis and I were talking about Katy Perry and everything surrounding 143, but it quickly pivoted into a conversation about women “aging out of pop” and the various roads Katy could’ve taken but didn’t. We also got onto the topic of how Katy failed where other women didn’t. We were interested in some of the women who “aged out” of the pop mainstream and figured out how to gracefully enter into elder stateswoman status. Several great women have done it, why can’t Katy? That was the question we discussed.

Returning to 143 for a brief moment, I think 143 is a revealing album. What it reveals isn’t great. 143 is definitive proof that maybe Katy Perry just... wasn’t the pop chameleon with her finger on the pulse of culture like we maybe expected an artist with her level of success to have. It’s funny to think there was a time when she and Taylor Swift were considered equals and had a rivalry (and beef) between them. Say what you will about Taylor, but there’s no denying that she’s someone who’s figured out how to move with time and keep her musical journey interesting for Swifties. She’s chased trends the same way Drake did, but she figured out how to do it in a way that feels natural. Katy could never go on an Eras Tour because her entire career just sounds like one homogenous blob. All of her major hits sound like the same relative span of time with no real journey to perfectly chain them together. With Taylor, you’d never confuse the 1989-era with Red, or Folklore with Speak Now. The Eras Tour is a journey through time and you can eventually piece that woman’s whole musical journey together with each new era she introduces in the show. She could break them up into neat and clean eras because each album had a different bag of tricks and way of operating. Katy’s just never had that. Ask the average person to name a Katy Perry album that isn’t Teenage Dream or Witness and I think you’d be hard-pressed to find people who can.

I’m posting this on Katy Perry’s 40th birthday. Fortieth. In pop music, that’s old. If you’re a woman in pop music, that might as well be ancient. But older women in pop have figured out ways to beat the odds and not “age out” of pop music. Consider: Kylie Minogue. She’s been making music since she was a fresh-faced eighteen year old starring on an Australian soap opera and still continues to make waves and enjoy high acclaim and a ton of love from a devoted fan base even as she’s entered her mid-fifties. She’s a rare example of someone continuing to reinvent herself and figure out how to stay current and keep up with changing times. The best ones usually do. Beyonce, the most successful and trailblazing pop woman of my lifetime, is in her mid-forties and still finding new and exciting ways to reinvent herself and keep her story going even as I write this. In just the last two years alone, that woman has gone from making an album of nothing but house music to immediately pivoting and making country music. She’s a wildcard and we can never truly expect what’s coming next. Hell, Madonna’s an older woman in pop and just had a really out-there and cool moment when she showed up on The Weeknd’s “Popular” with Playboi Carti earlier this year (one of the only good things to come out of the absolute nightmare that was The Idol). What I’m getting at is that some women are pop chameleons who just figure out how to keep going and find fresh and exciting creative avenues.

Let’s be brutally honest. Pop music, for better or worse, has always favored the young women in the game. I won’t tell you whether it’s right or wrong, it’s just an observation that’s been proven to be the case over time. Billie, Sabrina, Chappell, Clairo, Dua Lipa, Megan Thee Stallion, girl in red, Maisie Peters, Lizzie McAlpine, two-thirds of Boygenius (Lucy and Julien), all of these women are under thirty. Charli XCX and Taylor are in their thirties, but they don’t seem “old” to people because they’ve continued to be trailblazers and they’ve continued to remain in the popular imagination. When people have talked about Katy Perry in recent weeks, both in the context of 143 and beyond, it’s usually in the past tense. All of her victories, all of her accolades, all of her lightning-in-a-bottle moments, happened between a decade to fifteen years ago. It was easy to write her out of your musical journey and listening habits because you moved on and traveled to other musical worlds, she didn’t.

I watched Katy perform at the MTV VMAs a month ago right before she was given the Video Vanguard Award (which will most likely be the last award she’ll probably ever be handed...) and I thought it was actually a really solid performance. It was just ten minutes of uninterrupted classic bangers. Most of it was Teenage Dream cuts with two decent 143 songs (“He’s Mine, I’m His” and “Lifetimes”) thrown in for promotion. Real talk, I didn’t even mind the 143 songs, but that might’ve been because they were sandwiched between better songs. All in all, it was a great reminder that in her moment, she was a superstar once, and for good reason. That performance was genuinely captivating at points! The beginning, where she’s singing “E.T.” and flying around on wires was cool and the choreography throughout was fun as hell. It showed that the California Gurl has still got it. She can still put on a great show.... but it also left me thinking about something I couldn’t shake. 

P!nk does this exact thing every time she tours, why doesn’t Katy just do this forever?

Kyrsten and I agreed that one path Katy could’ve taken was just doing greatest hits tours forever. She would’ve been better off just never releasing another album again and just doing P!nk-esque shows where she just plays her greatest hits and the whole show just looks and plays like a fucking Cirque Du Soleil display. Seriously, have you ever seen footage from a P!nk concert!? Look at this! Her live shows are so intricate and incredible and the amount of wild gymnastics that woman can do is absolutely insane. There’s a genuine case to be made that she’s one of the all-time greats. She’s a great example of someone “aging out” of pop but easing into an elder stateswoman role. P!nk’s career path is the natural progression of a career in pop music. You have an explosive moment, you ride that wave, and then if you’re lucky, you get the job security of people still loving you and wanting to hear the hits till the end of time. Honestly, P!nk’s doing just fine these days. She’s got a damn good catalog of hits, puts on a wild spectacle of a show every night, and seems comfortable being where she is and looks like she has a fuckin’ great time doing it. There’s no shame in greatest hits tours if you know how to present those old hits in exciting ways. Cher has been on a decade’s worth of farewell tours and the reason she never fully says farewell is because people just love having her around. Madonna is still pop royalty and can go out and tour and put on shows whenever she wants. It can be done! Katy did a Vegas residency and I think she could find happiness doing that if she committed fully to something like that. Katy’s superstar moment has been over for a long time, but besides the vitriol and hatred people have thrown at 143, I believe people do still have genuine love for her. How many times have you heard people push the argument that “Teenage Dream” is one of the greatest songs of the 2010s? I’ve heard it a lot, and people should say that shit, because they’re right. Kyrsten still has affection for One of the Boys, the album before Teenage Dream (and she’d like me to tell you that she thinks that album is better). I can still get “Last Friday Night” lodged in my brain if it finds me in the right mood. The hit songs that built her career are still good and should still be loved, but I also understand why the recent controversies and attempts to recapture that golden moment tarnish that for people. 

So if doing greatest hits tours forever wouldn’t satisfy her, what the hell could?

Kyrsten and I proposed the idea to each other that Kelly Clarkson is currently living one of the lives Katy could’ve. Kelly is only slightly older than Katy (two years) and they do have a few things in common in their respective stories. Both women were involved with American Idol, though at different points. Katy served as a judge for the last six years before deciding to answer the 143 call and Kelly is the greatest contestant and brightest star the show ever had by a mile (and that was in the first season). Both women were massive hitmakers in their respective time that eventually stopped being major chart presences. But while Katy kept trying to cling to the glory days and kept falling flat on her face, Kelly simply pivoted into a different avenue. In September 2019, Kelly began an odd second act as a daytime talk show host with the premiere of The Kelly Clarkson Show. It’s currently in its sixth season and it’s a world that she’s proven to be a wildly good fit for. Her personality is so bright and chipper that if you didn’t know Kelly for anything else, you’d think she was made in a lab specifically for daytime TV. I’m not much of a daytime talk show watcher, but her show is genuinely wonderful and I catch clips of it on Youtube when I have time. She’s an engaging and active listener with her guests, she’s entertaining and thoughtful in the human interest/fluff pieces she covers and talks about, and her “Kellyoke” segment (phenomenal name, by the way) where she performs covers of popular songs is so loved she went ahead and released a whole cover EP with that name (thanks, Kelly!) 

She’s not the only former pop star/American Idol contestant to turn daytime talk show host. Jennifer Hudson’s been hosting one for a while now and she’s just as good at it as Kelly is. I wouldn’t even consider it a “downgrade” for her in terms of career moves considering she’s got the fucking EGOT (and she did it at 40, which is young for EGOT winners)! She doesn’t have to do anything else! She already completed the main quest in American entertainment, so now anything she does for the rest of her life is just a fun sidequest. If you’ve already won the EGOT, why not go off and have fun being a talk show host? Like Kelly, it looks like she’s having a fun time in that world and it feels like a good fit for her. Her friend and biggest fan Joel McHale seems to think so, considering he’s been on her show enough times to have forty minutes worth of fun moments to compile and watch. 

It’s a weird pipeline that Kelly and JHud have established, but it’s certainly not a terrible one! Daytime talk is still a lucrative marketplace and I don’t think it’s a bad avenue for former pop girlies to consider. Katy Perry has already spent years being on a television show and she has about as much depth as a daytime talk show would ever require, so I think it’s a world she could do alright in if she ever decided to try something like that. Hell, her ex-boyfriend John Mayer used to host a goofy makeshift talk show on Sunday nights via Instagram Live (it was Current Mood, which I miss dearly and love rewatching every now and again) so if Mayer of all fucking people can do it, why couldn’t Katy? 

I think the answer is that she probably only sees herself as a superstar pop singer and nothing else. That’s why I think she wanted 143 to be received as this massive return to form. She wanted a second chance and a new start. It wasn’t an ill-conceived idea. We’ve reached the point where we’re starting to look back with nostalgia at the early 2010s and seeing what sorts of sounds we can take and put a fresh spin on. Katy Perry’s old rival Taylor Swift has spent most of this decade looking backwards, but differently than how Katy has. One of the appeals of the Taylor’s Version series of re-recorded albums is hearing all the little details and changes from the original versions. Now that Taylor is older and has more experience, you get to ask, how would she tweak these songs and do them now? Fearless and Speak Now become entirely different listening experiences and albums now compared to their original counterparts. The Eras Tour is one giant victory lap celebrating her entire body of work and her musical life story as it plays out in her music. People have nostalgia and memories attached to those old songs, but they also have attachment to Taylor herself and they’re continuing to follow her musical story as it develops through newer albums like Midnights and The Tortured Poets Department. 

Katy’s musical story isn’t told through albums and she herself isn’t that interesting of a persona. That’s always kinda been the biggest problem with her. She’s a singles woman with a lot of visual flash, but she’s not an album woman with a lot of depth. And in a time where album rollouts are hyped up more than blockbuster movies and people treat the whole album with more regard than singles, it’s a problem that’s more jarring now than ever before. She’s certainly interesting when she’s firing whipped cream out of her boobs or looking like a braceface or shilling for the army via pop song (I’m not kidding), but the more time you spend with 143, the more it feels like you’re on a really boring and bad date with somebody who you don’t connect with at all. The kind of bad date where you’re struggling to come up with a topic that inspires deeper conversation and you learn in real time that the person you’re out with just has nothing of real value to say to you. The kind of bad date where you’re the one driving the conversation and you feel bad because you don’t want to be the one dominating it and you want your date to be an equal partner, but the other person just isn’t giving you anything to work with. The kind of bad date where you breathe a sigh of relief when they go to the bathroom because now there’s no more awkwardness. That’s what 143 is to me. That’s what every Katy Perry album is to me.

When we were talking about the album, Kyrsten filled me in on what the 143 title was in reference to. She initially thought it was in reference to a personal number and code that was significant to Mister Rogers. According to him, 143 was an important number because, “It takes one letter to say I and four letters to say love and three letters to say you. One hundred and forty-three. I love you.” It was also a number that provided a consistency in his life. He apparently adhered to a strict lifestyle so he would always weigh 143 pounds, which is... a bit strange, but lots of people are often weird about weight, so I won’t knock that too much. Anyway, I found that little piece of Mister Rogers lore to be interesting. Turns out that she and I were completely wrong! The numbers and the code still apply to Rogers, but the way Katy got to that number has nothing to really do with him. In an Apple Music interview with Zane Lowe, she explained how she got the album’s title and concept:

“It's called 143. It's my angel number. It's my symbol. It's my sign. You know, couple years ago, we were going through a little bit of a hard time medically in our family, and it was a little bit scary. And I started seeing 143 in many different ways, not just, like, on the phone. It was just like trippy, almost. And I looked it up, and it's code for 'I love you.' ... I really believe it was my angels, my guides, saying, 'I love you. We got you. We're going to protect you. You're exactly where you're meant to be. You're on the path”

What does any of this have to do with the music contained on 143? Not a damn thing, really. The lyrical contents of the album are so generic about love as a concept. Her attempts at women’s empowerment are still thoroughly trapped in the “girlboss” era of feminism and still read like a crappy motivational calendar from Wal-Mart. It would somehow be less embarrassing if she put on a red sweater and built a whole album out of samples of Mister Rogers audio. The whole “concept” for the album sounds like something that shouldn’t have survived a pitch meeting. It’s more proof that Katy isn’t an album artist despite wanting to come off like one. I don’t even think the album is as bad as some people have tried to claim! “He’s Mine, I’m His” has grown on me a good deal and while I still think “Lifetimes” is mid, it’s not committing any heinous musical crimes. The biggest crime that the songs on 143 commit is that they’re not really interesting to talk about. That’s probably why so many people have just defaulted to dunking on it. It’s really easy to do and any honest attempt to engage with it just reveals it to be a shallow collection of songs with nothing really beyond the surface. 

Take “Lifetimes” for instance. She’s talked about that song being written as a dance anthem expressing admiration and love for her daughter, Daisy (who appears on the album, she’s the little girl you hear on the song “Wonder”). If you listen to the song, musically, it’s something any faceless EDM guy could’ve come up with on a Thursday afternoon. You’ve heard this one before. Lyrically, Katy could realistically be talking about anybody. There’s nothing that links it specifically to her daughter and it doesn’t say much of anything beyond the notion that she will love the person she’s singing this to for multiple lifetimes. It’s pure background noise at best. You want a better example of a pop song being linked to a singer’s daughter? “Baby, Baby” by Amy Grant. She wrote the lyrics to that song about her daughter when she was six weeks old. She was having trouble writing romantic lyrics that didn’t sound corny, then inspiration struck when she was spending time with her. You can hear that in both the song and the lyrics. “Baby, baby / The stars are shining for you / And just like me, I'm sure that they adore you” sounds like silly baby talk a woman in the honeymoon phase of love would sing to someone... but they work just as well, if not better, if you imagine new mother Amy Grant singing to a newborn, which she technically is. If you heard the song out in the wild somewhere, the song still works as a fun and fluffy pop love song. But when you know that story, suddenly this light little song gains an extra hidden layer that adds a lot more than was initially there. That’s the beauty of pop music. That’s how you do it. Katy Perry’s music has never had any of those deeper aspects and as the years have gone on, you only look more and more foolish if you try looking for them.

143 reminds me of something like Panic! At the Disco’s Viva Las Vengeance in a lot of ways... in that I think both artists should’ve stopped long before they got to those albums and both show a desperation to cling on to something that no longer exists. 143 feels like it was trying to test the validity of Witness as a “career killing” album. It almost feels like 143 was made specifically to finish the job Witness started and ensure her career is undeniably over; the final punch that delivers the knockout. Where on Earth can you go when you’re the woman who can claim to have made not one but two career killing albums?

Honestly? I don’t know. I don’t have a good answer for you. I don’t think anybody does. Given the thoroughly negative reception to 143, I don’t think we’ll ever have to worry about another Katy Perry album ever again. I can’t imagine anybody being stupid enough to try and take a chance on something like that. I don’t even think Billy Beane from Moneyball could turn a scrappy loser like her into a bonafide popstar again.

People are fascinated by failure. One of the reasons Todd in the Shadows’ Trainwreckords series is so beloved is because people are fascinated by all the ways an album can fail, rather than what an album can do right. Social media thrives on people complaining about every single little thing they think is bad. Youtube algorithms are oversaturated with terrible videos trying to explain failure and delighting in the downfalls of people they don’t like. It’s easy to get swept up in all of that and revel in the failures of someone richer and more famous and (maybe) more out of touch than you. It’s almost fun. Almost. It was kinda fun when Witness failed. There was genuine shock and awe about this massive popstar flopping so hard to the point that the term “flop era” was coined to describe her. It was fun and wild because Justin Timberlake was flopping just as hard with Man of the Woods around the same time and Taylor Swift’s Reputation also looked like a bit of a flop era was developing at the time. Timberlake’s a whole other messy story and Taylor obviously beat those flop era allegations into the Earth’s core, but Katy never had a meme as great as “This is going to ruin the tour” and she never bounced back and remained on top the way Taylor managed. 

What was fun and wild with Witness in 2017 is no longer fun in 2024 with 143. It’s just sad and the media circus and slam dunk contest with bashing the album has admittedly gotten a little ugly for my liking at points. What I see with this album is a woman trying so desperately to try and get back into the limelight and get back on track, but success like she had is a wave you ride only once, and that’s if you’re even lucky enough to get on the board to ride it in the first place. With 143, she tried everything. She got the old Teenage Dream team back together (except for Bonnie McKee, which was strange and makes me wonder how her involvement would’ve helped this), tried getting back to her brand of big scale empowerment pop anthems, and even got features from currently hot names like 21 Savage, Kim Petras, and Doechii. Nothing worked.

I’m reminded of the part in Todd’s Trainwreckords episode on Witness where he comments on her music video for “Hey Hey Hey.” He comments that in that video, Katy is “a Marie Antoinette who dreams of being Joan of Arc.” That’s already a sad statement by itself, but I would argue that being either of those women would suck. Both of them were burned at the stake to cheering crowds, the only difference is the path that was taken to get there. In a way, Katy Perry’s 143 is that burned at the stake moment. Not only did everybody want to see her fail, people were ecstatic to see her fail in much of the same ways that people loved seeing Drake get pummeled by Kendrick and every enemy he’s ever made this past summer. Drake’s list of crimes is much lengthier and allegedly darker than Katy’s, but people love a downfall all the same.

I don’t know what the future holds for Katy Perry as a pop artist, but I’d be willing to bet it’s not very bright. Just saying, prepare yourselves now for the “Worst Albums of 2024” lists that will feature 143 as an easy target by lazy journalists. There are worse albums than 143, but none that have had a more fascinating story and type of failure attached to it. She wanted all the love. She wanted to tell us that it’s a woman’s world and we’re lucky to be livin’ in it... 

But the woman’s world, and the world beyond it, doesn’t seem to have much of a place for her these days...

But she dreamed of the times when she sang all her songs And everybody cried for more When all she had to do was step into the light For everyone to start to roar And all the people cried, you're the one we've waited for - Genesis, “Duchess”

[thewildheartsclub]

Dear digital diary,

"The opposite of war isn't peace; it's creation" - Jonathan Larson

We're more than just our body; we're a culmination of our experiences and the people we have met. We're everything.

Yet we treat others with more empathy than that of ourselves. We ruminate over our past as if thoughts can erase actions. But if suffering and grief could lead to progress, wouldn't it have been successful by now?

If you can see a past self, who's actions do not resonate with you now, can you acknowledge that a change has occurred? That although your current self exists in a similar body, it is no longer the same. You are not who you once were; a version of you operating on past traumas and insecurities. You have had new experiences, met new people and you have made new choices. You can now disagree with the past from what you have learnt.

To overthink, to question what could have been done differently, to be cruel to yourself and to stay in an endless cycle of suffering is only self-serving. The person who was cruel some way once to others is now beating their self up, in order to restore some kind of balance.

"The opposite of engendering sadness is engendering happiness, kindness, calm."

We must learn that we are a person too. We must see ourselves from an outsider's point of view and obtain what is not taught. We can only give to others what is present within, so if you want to be kinder, more empathetic and more forgiving, it starts with you.

"Rather than saying sorry. Let the way you move say sorry. When you see someone making the same mistake you did, offer to them what you needed then and prevent tragedy".

What made you who you are today is often lost in memories we either try to forget or obsess over in seeking a solution. Who is it that you needed once, can you be that for yourself now? In doing so, what can you do for others?

The way I see it is, humanity is only as intelligent as their current era allows. Perhaps this is the era where humans learn how to be kind.

C, xoxo.

[tiffrich22]

@taylorswift @taylornation I’m super excited to have had the opportunity to get tickets for Indianapolis N2 with my best friend. Once I got those tickets I had to get admitted into the hospital again for this excruciating pain in my abdomen and radiated to my back. Assuming this was more gallbladder issues with gallstones and my clot in my liver, these are what I had just been discharged from the hospital for. Well that was far from what the issue was at hand. Unfortunately, I was diagnosed with bile duct cancer (Adenocarcinoma). To say I was shocked would be an understatement. It was like someone ripped my heart out and stomped on it. I felt completely defeated. At 35 years old, I’ve had a life of struggling with cystic fibrosis, a life saving double lung transplant, and now adding the C word to the list. While I’m the most positive person and always have a smile on my face, sometimes it’s hard to be so strong all the time. I think this is a valid feeling when you have fought your whole life. I know going to Indy N2 will boost my morale and spirits to go through chemo. I told the doctors that I have The Eras Tour on November 2 and they are making it happen that I come and see you, Taylor. I’m so blessed to be coming and always grateful for you and @taylornation who have taken care of me since day in 2006/2007 when I fell in love with your love and passion for music, songwriting and performing. Lyrics are always chefs kiss 😘 I won’t let cystic fibrosis, double lung transplant, and cancer define me or hold me back from doing things I love. My goal is to be able to say hi to you and Taylor nation at the show on November 2. I’ll be in section 143, row 12, seats 5-6 🤍 I love you, Taylor. Thank you for keeping my spirits up and loving me through it all

Xoxo Tiff

PS IM GETTING A KITTEN! Need some advice on which type to get hehe

#taylorswift #taylornation #IndyTSTheErasTour #IndianapolisTSTheErasTour #TheErasTour #cancer

[the-hadley]

Damn, C,XOXO isn’t doing well. Like, a lot of people saying it flopped. Who do you think is to be blame for this? Because from what I have seen, the label chose to give a lot of freedom to Camila?

Pick a reason Anon and you'll probably be right. I've already covered this in some other posts but essentially the lack of playlisting, the no promo after the album launch and the constant hate trains were huge factors because they were not turned into fuel to fire, they were turned into water to deem the lightning fire of the album. Tiktok is currently an important marketing tool but it's not the end user, that needs to transform into actual streams which is not. One tvshow throughout the whole thing, no deluxe news yet and the spotify playlisting still sucks. I cannot emphasize enough how important playlisting is in today's era of inflated streams. At the same time I will tell you that for me the definition of success is outdoing yourself, not others, there are artists that fill stadiums around the world that don't debut albums in the TOP200. The lot of people are the one's that currently are obsessed with albums debuting with x amount of streams and are filling timelines with hate because it plays into their brat character or whatever. Can you tell how fucking tired I am of those idiots? 20s/30s acting as pre pubescent teenagers with access to the internet, I'm honestly so fucking fed up: "CXOXO is amazing when you don't have a nasty bitch in your ear telling you otherwise". If you wanna play the blame game, spread the love around, including her label.

[mazes-and-the-madness]

I think Camila preparing herself and the fans to go independent as she didn't spend alot of money this era on Playlists and music videos. It's just her promo and fan love. Do you think it’s good for her to independent?

That's a good observation. I think it's up to her, if she's ready to make the tradeoff between the industry $$$ and full control over her career. I really don't think she has much to lose by going independent, since she's kind of fallen out of favor with the GP. I mean, the singles didn't chart well and C,XOXO didn't even crack the Billboard Top 10, then fell off almost instantaneously. I'd be interested to see what happens if she takes the indie route, especially in terms of her art/public image.

[myfeellings]

16:45

i'm back

pasaron tantas cosas... creo q estoy en una mejor situación mentalmente hablando c:

obviamente no todo es color de rosa, hay muchos días en los que siento que es difícil pero poco a poco podré estar mejor... debería volver a terapia.. he descubierto algunas cosas que para otras personas es muy fácil notar de mí; sin embargo, yo no las notaba... es increíble como el psicologo me dijo que gran parte de lo que estaba pasando era debido a mi baja autoestima... no me había dado cuenta que tengo tan baja el autoestima c': para mí eso fue un PUM es obvio por eso no me siento capaz y no creo en mí misma... a veces pienso que no puedo pero cuando me esfuerzo si puedo hacerlo eso se siente tan bien... también sigo viendo como subir mi autoestima, no tengo ni idea, me visto más bonito? me maquillo? me digo cosas positivas? me doy tiempo para mí misma? supongo que esas son algunas opciones.. La otra vez estaba viendo un video de una chica que hizo su vestido de novia ella misma y se me quedó grabado la frase "no lo hice antes porque tenía miedo" fuaaaa ahí me di cuenta que siempre que evado las cosas es por miedo pero también me dí cuenta que aunque lo posponga tendré que hacerlo aunque cueste tanto se debe hacer, el tiempo pasará ya sea si estoy haciendo algo o nada, creo que la mejor moraleja de ese video fue el hecho de que a pesar del miedo que ella sentía, lo hizo y lucho hasta que quedara perfecto porque a pesar de dar el GRAN paso de empezar luego se dió cuenta que seguía habiendo pequeños baches pero eso no la detuvo!!! amé.. bueno eso quiero decirme a mi misma, que a pesar de todo si podré lograrlo y que no solo haga todo por hacer sino darle un propósito.

Es raro como constantemente pienso en si tengo algún talento y creo que es hora de admitir que sí, si tego talentos... amo la danza y se me da muy bien, amo dibujar también se me da muy bien, amo editar videos y hacerlos eso tal vez no se me dé muy bien pero lo intento:v; amo escuchar a las personas y que puedan confiar en mí... si esos considero que son mis talentos jajjajaj tal vez no van para nada con lo que estudio pero aún así me hacen entrar a otro mundo aunquesea por una horas, también amo escribir aunque no se me da muy bien seguramente ya cometí como 100 errores ortográficos pero me gusta así que lo haré más seguido.

Estaba pensando en escribir una novela o tal vez algo más corto, me puse muy delulu y creer una historia rara en mi mente, pero bueno si me animo la escribiré aquí.

También me dí cuenta que me gusta mucho la atención de las personas pero no cualquier persona jajajja ah también quisiera tener más amigos los que tengo son muy lindos y comprensivos pero a veces siento que no escuchan... o tal vez yo tampoco digo como me siento... pero cómo voy a interrumpir si me están contando algo? hay muchas veces que dije comentarios un poco peligrosos pero lo ignoraron aunque ahora que lo pienso qué podrían decirme? ellos no tienen la solución, la solución la tengo yo misma... bueno eso es un poco de lo que siento y sentí en estos meses, hay mucho que no conté pero supongo que quiero que sea así...

xoxo

[cxoxodeluxe]

CAMILA for COMPLEX

[thewizardingelite]

ADMIN NOTICE: CHARACTER RETIRED

Aliyah Khan has been retired, meaning her faceclaim, Sara Ali Khan, has been released. Any previous post tagged with Aliyah will remain as is, however, she is completely removed from the groups canon, including stories, family trees, etc. Be sure to update any lore related to your characters that had a connection with Aliyah.

[onecursedgirl]

me lembro de todos os posts e das interações das minhas contas antigas, da vergonha agora de pensar em como eu agia/ o que eu falava, e me lembro dos comentários mais marcantes e tristes, obrigada por tudo...

tem uma garota que interagiamos muito por post, ela foi internada pelo t.a., espero que esteja melhor.

a filha da scar ja nasceu e ela tá tentando melhorar. aí me lembro de uma live, ninathekiller tinha dito que eu era a maior inspiração dela

essas pequenas coisas preocupam meu impacto criando conteúdo, compartilhando minha vida, mas ao mesmo tempo eu quero dizer que nem tudo é o que parece ser.

não vou dizer que sinto falta do desemprego e dos 40kg, jejuns infinitos... vou dizer que sinto falta da companhia de muita gente aqui, porque nenhuma de nós merecíamos esse sofrimento, ao mesmo tempo que sinto muito pelo impacto ( nem que mínimo ) na vida de algumas pessoas.

como conteúdo descartável pra mente, como algo marcante, só sinto muito ( negativamente ) por conseguir postar.... é uma culpa estranha de ocupar algum espaço no mundo...

obrigada por quem lê, agradeço de verdade, um dia essas palavras serão esquecidas, mas enquanto eu existir elas são verdadeiras.

parassocialidade f*..

xoxo, c ya. 🐱 05082402221" wnomg (( tributooo ))

[fanfiction4sooya]

lol ou eu sou muito marcante, ou eu sou muito óbvio. a gente já até conversou na dm, c lembra? 🧐

aliás, lu... tenho uma pergunta! c lembra da primeira vez que escreveu? como foi?

bjs, boa noite lua 🌙 take care, xoxo 🤍

- 🎶

O modo como você escreve é inconfundível kkkk por isso. Também porque nenhum outro homem foi respeitoso aqui, só você. E eu lembro sim de ter conversado com você... Faz um tempinho, hein?

Eu demorei a responder porque tava tentando lembrar quando foi a primeira vez que escrevi... Eu não lembro exatamente se foi a primeira vez, mas lembro que foi a mais marcante.

Eu tinha 12 anos e escrevi uma carta que ganhou o concurso de redações da escola, estava no fundamental. Foi algo muito comovente pra uma criança escrever, eu estava contando a uma tia como sentia sua falta e como ela era a alma da família; Essa tia estava com câncer e eu na minha inocência de criança não sabia que estava me despedindo com aquilo.

Infelizmente ela não chegou a ler (não em terra). Uma semana após o resultado do concurso ela se foi.

Desenterrei essa memória de um lugar que nem sabia que tinha guardado. Obrigada por isso! 💖

[saintlaurentproblems]

Camila Cabello’s upcoming album, ‘C,XOXO’ will feature collaborations from Drake, City Girls, Playboi Carti, The-Dream, Lil Nas X & BLP Kosher. People are eating her up on twitter and saying it’s so obvious she’s using black artists to be relevant and as a way to make people forget she was so racist she had to go to therapy for it 😭. She wants a Miley Bangerz era so bad LMAO.

These collaborations are so bizarre

[universomovie]

Lil Nas X se junta a Camila Cabello para seu single “He Knows”

Lil Nas X and Camila Cabello Camila Cabello está lançando seu próximo álbum “C,XOXO” em 28 de junho com um novo single que apresenta o rapper americano Lil Nas X. Os ex-alunos do Fifth Harmony iniciaram sua nova era com o lançamento do “ I LUV IT ” com Playboi Carti anunciou em março em suas redes sociais: “ Este é o melhor projeto que já fiz, e nunca tive tanto orgulho de um corpo de…