in listing all the shitty things the doctor has done, why didn't they list the fact he KILLED ALL OF HIS OWN PEOPLE
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You couldn't do a straightforward Human Nature plot set in the 12th Doctor era bc if 12 got fobwatched Clara would immediately steal his identity. Missy would also steal his identity. Absolutely insane Doctorfication possibilities.
Also, 12's forgotten memories canonically manifest as songs AND he's faceblind, so he wouldn't even have a dramatic dream journal full of half-remembered portraits, he'd just be hanging out in his university office shredding guitar solos while Bill (who he just met) is like "Wow, sick riff Professor Smith!" and he's like "Thanks, it's called I Dreamt I Rode a Dinosaur."
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on the one hand, it feels genuinely insane speculating on plot points based on an actor's actual IRL name because television does not work that way! logically I know this!
but on the other hand. when doctor who casts an actor named SUSAN TWIST in recurring roles every single episode of a season that: 1. broke the fourth-wall multiple times, 2. had an episode about coincidences, 3. did weirdly long musical number about "there's always a twist at the end," and 4. discussed susan by name and emphasizes the doctor's identity as a parent way more than usual
I start feeling insane and believing that fourth-wall-breaking, throwing-all-established-tv-logic-out-the-window, extremely meta actor-name plot twists are possible
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no but the way how ‘Rogue’ is so Cinderella coded - the ball??? the hidden/secret identity??? a dance that makes the world disappear??? ‘find me’ he says before vanishing into the night - leaving just one, tiny token for his partner to cherish?????? I am going insane????
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i have a history exam tomorrow on the world war two but i dont need to study bc i know everything about the london blitz (a nazi bomb fell in a church and kickstarted a romantic night for an angel and a demon) (a little kid was looking for his mummy while a blonde girl and an immortal dude met a 51st century guy for the first time) (an exterminator alien race took over and tried to control london while becoming ‘pure’ again)
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i'm watching the parting of the ways and like, i'm sorry, this is so much better than the name of the doctor
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like it feels obvious on doctor who. the show who’s main gimmick is that the guy running around goes only by a title they gave themself and whose identity revolves around a dialogue with that title, constructing it, interrogating it, redefining it, endlessly as a part of their journey. it feels obvious to say that you absolutely cannot on this show give something an incredibly symbolic name and then Not say anything about that.
so why does kerblam spend the latter half of its runtime emphasizing The Foundation, right. the foundation is where power gets stored when it goes out everywhere else. the foundation is where workers are being killed and melted down into goop. the foundation is so old that the original plans of the building on paper are needed to understand it. The System is in The Foundation before it is anywhere else.
and then that. doesn’t matter. we aren’t going to use this to say anything. in fact, we’re going to assert that the system is so Fine, Actually that filling the foundational level of it with ten million bombs doesn’t even do any lasting damage to it. and hey, hey. remember when the system decided that the Correct option was to kill an innocent person uninvolved in all of this because she happened to be someone that charlie liked. remember when it lured her down into the foundational level to fucking murder her. yeah, that was justified of it actually, the blood on its hands is worth the point it was making.
how do you build the perfect set-up for the most obvious critique: Space Amazon Is Built On Bad Foundations That Lead It To Hurting The Workers And Customers In The Long Run. and then stumble ass backwards into uhhhhhh no actually it was this one guy. with bombs. and also his bombs are so ineffective and meaningless that blowing them up in the center of the facility did Nothing. he is both an unimaginable threat and also powerless. please take our doctor who episode about how good space amazon is very seriously.
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there is something wrong with me.
there is something ugly following me, it must be, because why else would everyone leave me. something is wrong with me and that's why everybody leaves. and i tried, i tried so hard to make peace with how ugly this part of me is. i tried to keep it at a distance, keep it separate from me. but any time somebody caught even a glimpse of it, it frightened them and then they left.
there is something wrong with me and it makes people leave me and so they can never find out. they can never see that ugly side of me because then they will leave. except i'm hiding it and they still leave. what am i doing wrong? did it slip through somehow and made them leave? or is the ugliness in me still?
i try so hard to hide it because i don't want to be alone, i don't want to be abandoned dammit, but the ugliness won't leave and the ugliness is all i can think about. i think about it more than i think about my partner, my friends, my family. in a way, it's the closest thing to home i have now
and then something happens and i think to myself - this is it. this is what all of this has been for, something is wrong with me and everybody leaves me. but. if i can be useful then maybe this awful ugliness will finally leave me alone. yes i want to be left alone now, please abandon me like everybody else, please prove me right
and then i'm useful and the ugliness stays. i sigh
years pass and people continue to leave me. i don't know if it's because of me or her anymore, it doesn't really matter. everybody left, but she is still here. i can always see her out of the corner of my eye. her presence brings me comfort. she stayed. despite everything she stayed. she is my closest confidant, my best friend, the one that will stand with me when nobody else will
she is me
and i won't abandon myself anymore
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