#ep. quarantine

[dr-futbol-blog]

Sanctuary, Pt. 14

While Sheppard's picnic with Chaya is interesting in and of itself, it becomes really significant in a later context.

In The Shrine (S05E06) we learn that Rodney McKay doesn't really know what dating is. He has referred to girls he's dated a few times previously but his idea of what dating is and other people's idea of what dating is are not necessarily the same. We first see this with him and Katie Brown, as it seems like they don't really spend that much time together (and never even got to second base, far as we're told) but he still goes around telling people that they are dating because she's a beard. There's also the girl McKay claims to have dated (twice!, as in, two dates) in college and Sheppard says he stalked, the truth probably being somewhere in between. But it's made explicit in relation to Keller.

Keller starts falling for McKay when he's suffering from brain damage that alters his personality (which is disturbing in and of itself, but we'll circle back to that), preferring the "kinder, gentler Rodney McKay" that is the result of a parasite eating away at his brain. While he's in the hospital under her care, they have the following exchange:

Keller: Eating from the patient's tray is kind of frowned upon. McKay: Jennifer, we've practically dated. Keller: You bought me one drink. That's hardly "dating."

Rodney McKay thinks that buying someone one drink is dating. We also know from Trio (S04E16) that this drink was a beer (and that this happened a while ago). At the end of the episode, they have the following exchange:

Keller: You owe me a beer from the bar trick thing earlier. You couldn't figure it out, so… McKay: Well, there was no time! I would have figured it out! Keller: Yeah, well, eventually chimps would have been able to figure it out, but the thing is, you didn't, so I win, and you owe me a beer. McKay: I don't remember ever agreeing to the beer! Keller: McKay. McKay: What? Keller: D'you wanna have a drink with me or not? McKay: What – you wanna have a drink? Keller: You're not very good at this, are you? McKay: Uh, no. No, I'm not.

He's really, really not.

So, one beer = date.

Never mind that we've seen Sheppard offer to buy McKay a beer earlier in Quarantine (S0413):

Sheppard: Well, I'll... I'll buy you a beer later. We can celebrate. McKay: Yeah – or drown my sorrows should she say no. Sheppard: No, no, none of that. McKay: Right. Sheppard: Well, go get the girl!

At the end of the episode, McKay himself decides not to propose to her and they break up. He had sorrows to drown. Sheppard offered to buy him a beer. So far, Sheppard and Keller are one for one.

But then, in the very same episode as where McKay's idea of one drink equaling a date is laid out, we get this:

Sheppard: All right, look. It's a nice night out. Let's go have some beer on the pier, okay? McKay: I drink beer? Sheppard: A lot. Take this [six-pack of beer]. Come on, buddy. Let's go.

McKay, afraid that he is losing his mind, has waken up in the middle of the night to not find Sheppard with him where he was sleeping. Even though he is losing his memories to the point of not remembering the meaning of words, his feet have carried him to Sheppard's quarters through the corridors and hallways. Sheppard asks him out for a beer. He tells us that Rodney has had lots of beers with him.

Once outside on the pier, McKay has finished his beer and Sheppard offers him another.

McKay: I don't know. Should I have another? Sheppard: What could happen?

McKay takes the second beer. Again, in an episode in which we were explicitly told that to McKay one beer = date, where we're told that he's had one drink with Keller, he has two beers with Sheppard. Outside on the pier at night, wearing Sheppard's jacket. Outside on the pier at night like Sheppard and Chaya. So, according to his own definition, McKay was out on a date. But Sheppard was also out on a date, he explicitly calls it a "romantic situation" the first time. It is both of their idea of a date.

We are invited to make this connection. In this episode, Sheppard and Chaya have the following exchange:

Chaya: You said it yourself—we're both human. Sheppard: Yes. We are. And I'm really glad you didn't say "family," otherwise I'd have to leave. Chaya: Don't. Sheppard: I'm not going anywhere.

They are both lying. She is not human and he never had any intention of staying with her. He's saying it to her because it's something he himself longs to hear. More than anything he yearns for a friend that is with you always, a friend that never leaves your side. So he tells her this, because it's the one thing that would make him want to do anything for the person who said that. And while he's influenced by Chaya, there's something they desperately need from her. He's going all out on trying to get that sanctuary for his people.

And in The Shrine, he and Rodney have the following exchange:

McKay: John… John, I've never been so scared. I'm slipping away. I'm slipping away, and I don't know how to stop myself! Sheppard: Look, you're still here. All right? You're still here. McKay: Yeah. I am. Sheppard: And… I'm not going anywhere.

This is why this episode is so important. It gives context to this seminal scene in The Shrine (and 'shrine' is synonymous with 'sanctuary', they rhyme). We are not only told that Jennifer Keller pales in comparison to John Sheppard when it comes to loving (and yes, even dating) Rodney McKay, we are shown that what Sheppard was first pretending to be for Chaya, doing his damnedest to charm the socks off of her to protect his people and then did under some form of mind-control, he is genuinely this for Rodney. Rodney is stuck with him. He's not going anywhere.

And again, this is the thing that John Sheppard himself most desperately wants to hear. He wants someone to tell him this (McKay is more of a show don't tell acts of service kind of a person, but he'll get there eventually; Sheppard has to travel 40,000 years into the future to understand what Rodney has been trying to show him all along; he's not going anywhere). Losing McKay is literally Sheppard's worst nightmare, we see it multiple times over the seasons so here he tells McKay the most comforting thing he knows because he is just as scared as the other man is of him slipping away--if not more so.

We can also compare the way Sheppard acts in these scenes. When Chaya mentions loneliness, Sheppard nopes out of the situation immediately. He stands up, puts distance between them, refuses to even think about the concept let alone discuss it. Here, McKay is dying. While he's trying to be supportive, Sheppard knows this. He's leaving permanently. But regardless of this being his literal worst nightmare, Sheppard stays put. He stays there with McKay and tries to have the difficult conversation about good-byes. It's not easy for him but he does the work. If anything, by the end of the scene, they are even closer--both physically and emotionally.

However, while for Sheppard it's important to hear that someone is there for him through thick and thin, for McKay the thing he most desperately wants to hear--or better yet, be demonstrated--is that he's accepted for all that he is without him having to do things to earn this acceptance. That it's freely given and it includes him at his absolute worst. And while it's not something Sheppard has consciously figured out about him, he just does. McKay doesn't get it here, lamenting that he can't be his genius friend anymore. Sheppard accepts him when he's the smartest man in two galaxies and he accepts him when he does shit so dumb that his niece would feel ashamed to know him. He accepts him when he's kind and gentle and funny but he also accepts him when he's arrogant, abrasive, petty and jealous. Because all of that is McKay. All of that is the person he loves. And that's something that can only be demonstrated consistently over time.

But the point is, both McKay and Sheppard thought they were on a date on the pier. It is both of their idea of a romantic situation. And their date, the raw and honest human connection between them, is so much more important and significant than what they shared with these women. Their whole purpose is to exist as foils meant to make us recognize the real thing.

We don't get see Sheppard and McKay kiss on the pier, the scene fading out as Sheppard leans back real close to McKay. He does kiss Chaya. It's possible they would have wound up there even if she didn't have him under some sort of influence. She's attractive and he feels responsible for the lives of untold thousands, maybe millions of people that he thinks she has in her power to save. And yes, even if he wasn't under some form of mind-control, the kiss would still have been meant but to game her. Like Leeloo, the perfect being of The Fifth Element, Sheppard had hoped that if he could only come up with a reason for her to want to save mankind, they could all be saved.

It's not only the fact that Chaya is perfectly beautiful with perfect tissues that connects her to Leeloo. It's also later the fact that after she's done going through Weir's historical database, she's particularly disturbed by human propensity for war.

Chaya: But I've also been reading about your history. Even now, somewhere on your planet, you are at war. Sheppard: Well, yeah, that's true. Weir: I made no attempt to hide that fact from you. Chaya, we are definitely not perfect. Chaya: There's a lot about you as a people that I find disturbing. Teyla: Can that not be said of any people? Chaya: No. Every soul in Proculus is free from the hatred and the anger the people from Earth seem to feel for each other.

Earlier, she called Sheppard a warrior. He is a soldier that has participated in war. He's fighting a war right now. If we're later shown what the real thing looks like for John Sheppard, it appears that despite her attraction, Sheppard is also much too human for her to ever truly love. They are a different species, after all.

She dislikes war and conflict, and she's about to get a display of just how human John Sheppard is.

Continued in Pt. 15

[ravenpuffheadcanons]

Rewatching AOS 3.17 for fic reasons and wow, Fitzsimmons matter to me so much more than anything else in this show, my goodness

[weshallc]

Erm! No, not quite! You will have to, Nurse Franklin. (and maybe always good in a crisis Tim plus chief rebel SMJ).

Meanwhile, my colleagues...

Will go home and infect their family.

And Nonnatus House where the temporary surgery is located.

And continue to treat vulnerable patients.

Call the Midwife: Series12 Episode 4

[sidras-tak]

I could watch an endless number of Secret Santa episodes, forever, eternally watching three friends psychologically torture each other with prizes and punishments while Sam laughs wildly in the background

[monsterbisexual]

the 'got 30 minutes of sleep last night' of it all just caught up to suddenly n i feel like lawrence looks at the end of saw

[rainedroptalks]

wait i thought nightvale ended brb im gonna go check something out

[crocutacanidae]

New password ep

Im one hour in.

[iftari]

long running shows like modern family start to fall apart bc they reduce the 3D-ness of their characters into quick words n change them up as dependent on the plot v understanding the characters and keeping their growth consistent. also bc theyre yt and white comedy shows dont know how to engage in anything beyond surface level humor even when they are to some degree tryign to be political

[ray-pakorn]

okay alan works for uncle jim’s car insurance company, right?

[dr-futbol-blog]

Letters from Pegasus, Pt. 5

Still very much stuck on the planet that is under the attack from the wraith, Teyla and Sheppard continue their conversation. Teyla is having qualms about Sheppard's apparent callousness with regards to her 'dear friend' Orin, and she even revisits their earlier discussion about taking the ZPM from the defenseless children of Childhood's End (S01E05). While Sheppard said nothing for or against this plan back in the meeting, he does at least seem to want to back Ford up in this (as well as McKay, who saw the merit of Ford's suggestion at the time):

Sheppard: Look, Ford and I are military. We've spent a lot of our lives learning how to survive. Teyla: I have spent my life surviving the Wraith. Sheppard: Part of that training is knowing who you can save and who you can't. Teyla: And that decision is yours alone? Sheppard: I said that I'd wait for your friend if there was time. Now there's time. What else do you want from me? Teyla: Too much, I fear. Sheppard: It's gonna be a long night.

We are once more reminded of the fact that Sheppard very much does not want to be spending his night on this planet, he would rather be home. While he says they now have time to wait for her friend, he's not actually waiting for him but is waiting for a chance to leave. But more importantly, it is emphasized that Sheppard is bound by the rules and regulations of the military even when they might go against his own personal moral code. He told Weir that he sometimes sees things a little different, and to be sure, he does. But those rules exist for a reason and he has experienced first-hand that nothing good will come out of going against them--much to the contrary. He has had to pay a high price for the calls he has made going against orders.

While McKay was musing about leadership back home, Sheppard seems to be doing the very same thing here, in the privacy of his own thoughts. In the meeting Weir had said "As long as I am in charge," as she made a call against Sheppard's recommendation--the recommendation of the military commander of the expedition on the eve of impending attack. During a siege she is not the one that should be in charge. In military matters, Sheppard is the one with the highest and final authority. And when he is the one that is called upon to take the leadership role--and he should have done it already--the decision is his alone, as is the responsibility. It is a heavy burden. Sheppard, for one, could actually use some of McKay's thoughts on the topic in the current moment.

Sheppard tells her that a part of their training is knowing who you can save and who you can't. He has personally learned the hard way that not everyone can be saved, no matter how you feel about them or how ever much you try. But what ever he tells her, what ever his training might have taught him to do, he would never not try to rescue someone he cared about. What he told Teyla about not jeopardizing the mission for someone he cared about was a flat out lie. Trying and failing is still easier to live with than not having even tried. However, these people are strangers to him and he has someone he cares about that he needs to protect back home. He is not disagreeing with Teyla so much as he's desperate to do the same thing she is doing for someone that he actually cares about himself.

And yet he can only sit in the jumper, watching the wraith wreak havoc on this planet:

Sheppard: This is hard to sit and watch. Teyla: There's nothing we can do. Sheppard: We could do a lot. It'd just be the last thing we'd ever do.

He is forcing himself to stay put, we are told, because he has important intel to get back to Atlantis. However, you can see him physically react to Teyla saying that the gate is inaccessible which once more lets us know that he is anxious to get back home. And at the same time on Atlantis, Bates tells the camera: "I'm gonna miss you, kiddo. I can't wait to get back home."

Between McKay's two messages, "We will do our best to stave off their attack but I am afraid that defeat is all but inevitable. I, and the other members of my team, face the most horrific deaths imaginable" and "The facts of our heroic struggle against the Wraith and our untimely demise are already known to you" Sheppard decides to leave the jumper to go check out something they have never seen previously, a solid beam of light rising from the planet's surface up to the hive. His reaction to the beam of light seems odd because just earlier, he was all for staying put and making sure they get to take the intel they have back to Atlantis with them. However, his motivation for doing this is lampshaded by McKay in his message: "My extensive education, training and first-hand experience in the field of astrophysics has given me a unique perspective that few on Earth or, well, on any other planet for that matter, can match."

As he leaves, Sheppard tells Teyla that he will make a point of not being discovered, and he takes out the life-signs detector, using it in a very similar manner as he did during the Genii siege in The Eye (S01E10). He does have education, training, and first-hand experience of the wraith unmatched by many. He does have a unique perspective on both them and on how to be a leader. His philosophy is that he would never ask anyone to do anything that he would not be willing to do himself which, of course, is noble. He will not needlessly sacrifice the lives of people serving under him. But it's also partially borne from his inability to trust other people and from a twisted sense of "if you want something done, do it yourself" that may ultimately derive from his social background, his intelligence, and his natural aptitudes all having given him a sense of superiority toward the higher ups long before he ever joined the military.

McKay was also correct when he pointed out that Atlantis and the expedition seem to be facing inevitable destruction. Sheppard knew this for a fact the moment he saw their armada jump out of hyperspace. He needs to know what this thing is because if there's anything, anything that might give them any tactical advantage, he has to know about it. He is making damn sure that he will be able to get back home, though, because he has someone there that he wants to get back to, has a reason to want to get back safely. But at the same time, he also believes that his training will allow him to perform some guerilla tactics without being detected. And so, he has to check it out.

However, it is noteworthy that as soon as he's out there and recognizes the full extent of the danger they are in, he doesn't pursue it further. He doesn't go and do recon recklessly, he returns to the jumper the minute he realizes that he might be putting himself in jeopardy. And again, it's not out of concern for himself, it's not out of concern for getting the intel back to Atlantis (as there's a whole hell of a lot of intel he might have gathered getting closer to the mysterious beam). He's not putting himself needlessly in danger because he has a reason to want to get back.

This might seem like an odd side-quest if we don't appreciate his motivation. And this is not the last time as we approach the end of the season that we see him eschew doing something he might have done back when he still had nothing to lose which is interesting, as he's our heroic leading man. The fact that he refuses to do many things that a hero should do here but is perfectly willing to go above and beyond when the life of a certain someone is at stake, well. That just tells us a lot about his priorities.

So, he leaves off trying to get any more info on the mystery beam and returns to the jumper. You can see all of these thoughts play out on his face.

There is an interesting interlude in which a female scientist we have never seen previously but are lead to believe has worked under McKay this whole time is introduced. She is recording a video message to someone on Earth, we are not told who. Again, this is meant to be a humorous respite in the middle of the episode, making McKay into the butt-end of the joke, into a comic relief. She is giving a very earnest report of her time on Atlantis but the scene plays with juxtaposition, interspersing her lines with scenes of McKay in the lab as seen by her. So as we are told and shown two different things, it is this disparity between the two that creates the comedy. She tells us:

I am keeping busy with my job. I work hard, like everyone else, to ensure the success of this expedition and also to please the leader of our science team. He does not always remember my name, but I have enjoyed working for him very much. He's a very honourable and brave man. Until then, I will continue to serve at his pleasure.

In keeping with the theme of leadership in this episode, she acknowledges his position as her leader. While his leadership is presented in a comical light both in this scene and in the pastiche of his own messages (where it is the repetition of the concept that makes it comical, repetition being an essential comedic device) it is absolutely true that he is in the position of a leader and that he has taken this responsibility seriously; he has frequently even been willing to sacrifice his own life for the greater good. McKay has an occasionally abrasive personality and he rarely sugarcoats anything but he also works very hard and he does care about the people he is working with. He may not have all the qualities of a great person but he does have many qualities of a great leader. And it is only if we acknowledge his actual role as a leader that we get to contrast his leadership with those of Sheppard and Weir, the other members of the "senior staff".

Further, this woman clearly likes McKay. We are shown two scenes where McKay is less than considerate in her presence (if not toward her) but it is only a snap-shot of the time they must have spent in the lab together. She likes him, and it's entirely possible she has a crush on him. But we are once again reminded of the fact that McKay does not like women like that. She tells us that she will continue serving at his pleasure from which the scene cuts directly to McKay recounting his tale about getting very sick from kissing a girl. She says that he does not always remember her name (meaning that he does occasionally) but in this, she is no different from Zelenka (also, this is interesting in light of Sheppard's reaction to McKay calling him Major earlier on; everything she says here could be said by Sheppard about McKay).

It took McKay a while to start remembering Zelenka's name because the names of the people he works with are not nearly as important as what they are doing and what they are capable of doing. Because he is working with them, he sees these people as scientists and not people. They are instruments, very important and even vital instruments, and he respects them as such. Their names are irrelevant with regards to the quality of their work. Wasting time trying to remember someone's name in the face of impending doom is counter-productive. It isn't personal. It isn't that they are not important enough to remember. It is that his brain is better occupied with other things. She tells us that she has enjoyed working for him very much, which also does reveal us a lot about his character.

Most importantly, she describes him as an honourable and brave man. And again, when this is juxtaposed with the scene in his lab in which McKay has a cramp, we are meant to think that this is comedic. Of course McKay is not brave, he is defeated by his chair in a lab and could never survive out there on the battlefield. Of course he cannot be honourable because we are shown that he can also sometimes be petty as though the two are mutually exclusive. But we know that McKay is brave. John Sheppard certainly knows that McKay is brave. We have seen him stare down a villain that features in Sheppard's nightmares (literally, cf. Remnants S05E15). We have seen him stare down John Sheppard himself when he thought that he was veering off his moral compass (Sanctuary S01E14). We have seen him do one heroic deed after another.

Rodney McKay is very brave, and it is because his bravery is so frequently framed in a comedic manner (like in Harmony, S04E14) that just makes it more difficult to recognize. But his woman, his co-worker, who seems to have been observing him keenly, testifies that this is indeed the case. He is a brave and honourable man. Because John Sheppard is the protagonist, it is easier for us to see him in this light even though both courage and honour are much more difficult for him to stake a claim to; there are many more shades of grey to his character, as we have just seen in his scenes with Teyla.

While what she tells us using words is interesting, what we are shown likewise tells us things about McKay. In the first scene, we see McKay instructing one of the members of his science team. He tells her "No, no, no, no, no. No. This sequence first, then the secondary code--unless you're intentionally trying to blow us up, in which case, excellent work!" He is both educating her, sharing his expertise with her, and trying to make sure that everyone is safe.

What he says and how he says it are two different things, and because he's saying it in a derisive tone, some people will only see him berating someone working for him and not what he actually does. There are myriad things on Atlantis that can kill them all, even worse than that. He knows it better than most. Sometimes it's better to scold a child than to let them burn their hand for them to learn that the stove is hot, especially if there is a danger that the stove will burn the entire house down in the process. So, he's not being kind but is doing what is necessary. And McKay also has someone that he very much wants to keep safe. Having found this "sort of a surrogate family" here, he is doing everything he can to protect them.

In the scene we also find yet another blonde woman that McKay has absolutely no interest in for other than for her scientific work. We see the same blonde woman behind the woman recording the message in the next scene in which McKay bites into a sandwich only to spit it out immediately. Because he has deadly allergies, it is understandable that he is freaked out by biting into something he had not expected to bite into. The scene is humorous because his complaining about the sandwich is juxtaposed with her line about having enjoyed working for him very much as though this were a regular occurrence.

Sure, McKay could be making his own sandwiches but then, he has been working day and night to come up with plans that might save them. His time is better used on science than it is on feeding himself. Also, it does not appear as though either of the female scientists were responsible for having made his sandwich. It is because this woman is shown as being so keen to serve him and that she denies having made the sandwich that we are able to conclude that someone outside of the lab must be responsible for having made it. If anyone in the lab had made McKay a sandwich, it would have been her. And it wasn't her. Making sandwiches for McKay is not her job.

Now, McKay did not enjoy the sandwich (because, cumin?) but it's not just possible but is actually likely that it was brought to him by someone outside of the lab. Someone, perhaps, also not exactly known for making his own food both due to his family background and long career in the military. It would be a sweet gesture, regardless.

And let me run this by you real quick: cumin is not only characteristic of Afghani cuisine, there are varieties of cumin only found in Afghanistan and which are particularly prized. So, like. There is only one person on the whole damn expedition that we know would have a motivation for putting cumin in the sandwich of someone he also prizes.

It's a good thing that McKay enjoys that military food because with his chosen company, he's looking at a long future with nothing but.

Now, later in Quarantine (S04E13) we are informed that Sheppard likes to spend time in McKay's lab, and in Allies (S02E20) Sheppard walks into the lab with a tray that has cups of coffee on it. He's bringing them to the lab at large in this episode but the fact that he sets the tray down on the table and then proceeds to take one of the cups for himself to drink like it's a routine action suggests that he has done this before, he has brought coffee to the lab for himself and another, many times.

In this light, it's interesting that when McKay describes what cats are like in his recording (seemingly describing himself in the process), he says "Cats are self-sufficient, they're dependable; you shake the box, they come running--cynics would say it's because of the food but my cat… See, I truly believe he enjoys my company." It's the gesture more than the food itself that makes him come running. McKay spitting the sandwich out is a genius way from the creators to be able to make reference to this concealed subtextual relationship between the characters. McKay may not like this particular sandwich but it's still a very thoughtful gesture for someone that has spent most of his time cooped up in a lab lately. Also? Sheppard is the only character we know has made a sandwich on Atlantis (Ford brings him a sandwich in Suspion (S01E04) after having heard him mention one in Rising (S01E02) but we don't know he had made it himself or if it was MRE). With Sheppard, he was going to make it:

The final scene in her recording shows McKay having a cramp. We are meant to juxtapose his cramp with the mention of him being brave and honourable. We are meant to think that he has a low pain tolerance as though cramps were not occasionally extremely painful. We are meant to question is athleticism and physical prowess. But I find it interesting that he is cramping in his groin or upper thigh area. And groin seems like the more likely culprit, as he doubles over forward as it starts and he shields the area from this woman that is overeager to help him with it. We have not seen him cramp before so it is not as though this is something typical of him.

But this gives us room to speculate that he may have been exerting himself physically lately in ways that lead to potential cramps in this area. Dehydration may also cause them if and when one has been sweating a lot of fluids doing something strenuous recently. His body is not used to the amount of sex he has been having, to make it explicit. We saw the effects on Sheppard previously in how twice he seemed to be feeling ginger getting up from a chair, and now this. And because it is wrapped up and disguised in comedy, we don't recognize it for what it is. Even though it is literally framed with the words "at his pleasure". Because this woman is not the only one that has been serving at his pleasure lately.

Continued in Pt. 6

[moonrpg]

guy who just finished season 5 voice. he’s alive. he’s alive. he’s alive. he’s alive

[sunbratz]

i am finally actively spending real time catching up on dndads so! welcome back to my tag thats been out of use since like december of 2020 and hello to my obligatory "i am going to spam this thing i love post"

[funstyle]

ur working on an album 👀?

I AMMM thank uuu for asking ^_^ 🫶 it's mostly me just fxcking around with a cheap tape recorder & my brokey ebay 4 track... wouldnt go so far as to say it'll be "good" or "music" BUT im having fun with it and im hoping it'll be interesting to listen to at the least 🤷🏻‍♀️

hoping to finish her this month and slap it on bandcamp...making a lil neocities website to accompany it cus i can~

[crodisd]

sigh yeah mlp multi is a thing in progress now @ekvuus

[andyridgeley]

i love when one (1) shot can make me cry 🤌