#entirely unconventional part 10

[imaginedreamwrite]

Entirely Unconventional

Part 10: Once, And Again

Enjoy the show? Have a fun night? Did you and König recover?

Nicht so süß und unschuldig kleines Kätzchen

Damn fucking brat

“Hey LT!” He felt pain behind his eye, the sudden sharp twitch had come within seconds of his mind registering Soap McTavish’s voice, and the weight of another trip back to that hell-hole in the middle of the same desolate state.

That armoury and artillery compound they’d invaded had been secured, everything inside was transported. But the man who was funnelling money into the operations in the middle of God knows where, was still hiding. Captain Price had given the objective, for the two of them, to head back to that place and flush him out.

The man who had funnelled money into this compound, this storage facility for munitions and artillery, was squirrelling himself somewhere in the backwoods and rural properties of the villages and farmlands. It made him both an easy target and a little rat bastard hiding in the crawl spaces of abandoned farmhouses.

“Looking forward to going back, sir? S’been nearly two months since you saw her last! You wanna make a stopover?” Soap’s suggestion was as much of a jest as this emotionless exterior as it was a genuine attempt at getting the cold Lieutenant to relax.

It was your fault, you had done this. You had started this fucking problem with your fingers, and your moans. The sound of your pleasure had centred itself in his mind again, a reminder of the passion that was thickened by the bond of being each others soulmates.

You, and your damn masturbation habits, had broken the straw that kept their own hunger at bay.

It was one too many bands that had snapped, and that pressure led to both Ghost & König experiencing the first rolling snowball of desire. The first initial shove that made them crash into each other, devouring the other with lust, all because you couldn’t keep your fingers out of your pussy.

And now, all Ghost could focus on was the need to have König pinning your hands above your head, trapping you. Giving you no room to leave, so Ghost could return the favour and devour you wholly.

His traumatic past couldn’t stop him from wanting to unleash his deeply seeded desire to fuck, to crave and taste and unleash his fated passions upon you.

“Fucking hell, you don’t fucking quit.” Ghost’s ire was vehement, his eyes stormy and dark. “Goddamn wanker!”

Soap held no more fear of Ghost than he did König, knowing that both his commanding officers were feeling the effects of their little soulmates late night excursions. The late night hours that had driven them crazy, has made the two men cantankerous, although Soap was more amused than not.

“We got leave soon, LT. Heard my little bird Em say your American spitfire is coming to visit for a few weeks.” Soap grinned in the way he usually did, like he had no real care in the world or any real-world consequences waiting for him.

John Soap McTavish was the kind of man most of them wished they could be. He still wasn’t jaded from what they saw, he wasn’t bitter and closed off. He had this natural youthfulness to him that had followed him all his life. He still had the ability to feel like a kid, like someone who wasn’t battered, bruised and dragged through hell.

Johnny was one of the lucky ones, one of the soldiers who had someone waiting for him at home when he went on leave. Johnny had someone who was writing him letters and caring for him with the intensity of a well-known lover. No matter what happened, Johnny had his wife to lean on.

Ghost was bitter, he was closed off and inflexible to love. Even when he was awarded two soulmates who could be everything he needed, he was still unable to see how he deserved them. In his mind, he was damned, and they were damned with him. He didn’t think he would ever feel free enough to endure such love.

“You got somewhere to go, Johnny.” Simon’s voice was less guarded now, more honest and natural. “Don’t take that for granted, don’t fuck it up!”

“You do too, LT!” Soap called back, nodding his head in Ghost’s direction as if to extend the invitation without having to say it.

Ghost was silent, he had revelled in the silence that stymied them both. He had endured the quiet and flexed his fingers around the hilt of his knife. He squeezed and let go, squeezed and let go, until he felt his resolve regaining itself.

There’s no where for a place like him; like them. They’re phantoms, shadows more than people now.

No you’re not, you never have been. Your voice countered his, and Ghost verbally hissed from the gentility. It was unwarranted, it was a direct attack on the shell he had surrounded himself with.

Damned fool, you’re gonna burn with us

We’re connected, whether you like it or not. You’re mine, I’m yours.

And you’re damned for it. You’re breakable, it’s inevitable. He was condescending, of himself and of König’s dependency on you, the three of you all meant to be twisted and broken together.

It was innate, it was their future.

What you want, we could never give you. We could never give you the future you want. Ghost’s voice went through your head, and König’s. We’re not meant for it. We’ll only break you.

It all felt like a step back, like he was land-sliding further from this new openness. You had broken off pieces of their guard, and Ghost in his fear of losing something real and true, again, was trying to shove it all back together.

You were silent, for a moment, and then your voice echoed in his head. Soft like a bell or whistle, yet with the ability to further crack that detrimental shell around his heart.

It's amazing how someone can break your heart, and you can still love them with all the little pieces.

Silence rang out, the bridge that bonded the three of you was silent.

And Ghost remained in that silence, his eyes staring ahead as he fixated his attention upon the wall of the helicopter. Transportation back to the States, back to that hellhole had begun, their task to track down that little worm was started.

You wouldn’t be an ocean away, you wouldn’t be across the world. You would be within his fingertips. And Ghost, irregardless of how hard he wanted to keep you at a distance, was drawn like a moth to a flame.

Damn him, damn himself to hell, he had to see you.

To spite himself.

To spite every damn bone in his body that hated you, that absolutely loathed you, he wanted and had to see you. It was innate, it was incredulous.

Simon Riley could’ve cursed you, he could have damned you with every breath. He didn’t need you, he didn’t want you, he had no use for you.

Yet, your ability to make the ice around the old soldiers heart chip away was beyond what he could control. If it were up to him, to Ghost, he would have frozen his heart in a cryogenic chamber away from yourself and König.

But damn you, damn you American woman with all he had in him, Simon Riley couldn’t turn off from you.

He was driven, by an unseen force, to find you. Despite the warring denial that they required you, that they wanted you, Ghost thought about Soap’s advice.

“You know you’re thinking about it. About seeing her. Trust me, LT...showing up to see her is exactly what you need.”

“Not happening, Johnny. We have a mission.”

Still, the thought was tempting.

Fuck, you better be around. His thick gravelly voice echoed in his own head, a thought shared with you as he let that shadowed and tiny piece of him have a small victory.

Regardless of how scared shitless, he was over letting that tiny little piece of hope win.

************

Simon Riley was not damaged, not like he had thought. Rather, he was traumatized from events of the past, and the cruel hands of fate handed to him.

You knew that, you had been warned of that, but you’d never fully understood to what extent he had hated any chance of happiness.

It was clear that of the two, Simon & König, König had been less physically damaged a than Simon.

You had seen more of König than you had of Simon. You’d seen more of his memories than Ghost had allowed you to see, with much of König’s thoughts and memories centred around his home life in Austria & Germany.

Not only that, but you’d seen the memories he had of his mother, the blood sweat and tears that she had shed for her little boy.

Young König, who wanted so desperately to go on school trips, leading his mother to prevent herself from eating food to save him money. She had done everything she could to give him the ability to go.

You had seen his memories and the bullying he suffered from being a poor boy who was bigger and taller than all his classmates. The kind of bullying that made König develop social anxiety that followed him all his life.

You saw his memories, and he had seen yours. He had seen your love of being on the water on a sandy, smooth beach and the crystal-like water that stretched for miles.

It was Devonshire Beach, someplace that had you had adored and craved to be at, a place where you were endlessly wishing to be at every chance you got.

You had been able to communicate your love for that place, the place where you were most comfortable and happiest. That place where you had longed to be day after day, week after week.

König had seen your memories of your short-term relationships that never gone anywhere for your fear of being taken too far emotionally into something that was doomed to fail.

You and König had created a new level of this bond; Ghost and yourself were still at a crawling point.

“I can’t wait for you to get here! Ugh, there are so many places I want to take you!” Em’s excitement bled through the phone as you’d pinned it between your ear and your shoulder.

“Three weeks in Scotland away from work, what a dream.” You were ragged, you were tired, and you wanted to go to bed.

Upon approaching your village townhouse, you dug your keys out from your scrub pockets, twirling them around your finger twice before you stepped up the porch.

Though it had been more than 12 hours since you left, you’d felt as if it were just seconds ago since you stepped outside for your shift.

Your keys were stuck in the lock, as usual. You jiggled the keys in the lock, grunting your irritation and annoyance, your ire for the damned thing.

Your frustration grew, and you’d just managed to turn the key to unlock the door when you heard audible footsteps behind you. You turned your head and cast your speculative gaze behind you, a squeaky shriek ripped from your lips.

“Y/N-” Johnny Soap McTavish was less than three feet behind you, with one half of your soulmates in tow.

Your immediate reaction was to strike him, your fist balled as tightly as you could manage, and you’d driven it into his shoulder. Though it hadn’t actually hurt him, Johnny still cursed under his breath and rubbed his arm. His blue eyes were narrowed, annoyed at you for striking him, and causing him minute pain.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?! What are you doing here?!” You screeched at him, panic and fear rushing through you at the sudden appearance of them on your porch. “Do you have a death wish?! Do you know how many people have guns here?! You could have been shot!”

“Y/N? Is everything okay?” You were only aware of Em still talking when she raised her voice through the phone, reminding you that she could hear everything.

“You almost became a widow!” You struck Johnny again, anger coursing through your attack on your best friend's husband.

“Johnny! You didn’t shoot him did you?” She chirped with wonder, while you glared heavily at the two men.

“You got a minute?”

“You could’ve been shot, you idiot!” You struck Johnny again, only once being aware of Ghost’s eyes on you, and the striking blue eyes alight with amusement.

Strike him again, love

“You—!” Your eyes darted from Johnny to Ghost, your soulmate looking deadly and intimidating, like a demon at night.

He had stood behind Johnny, wearing that familiar skeleton mask and the black eye paint around his eyes.

He was dressed head to toe in black tactical gear, starting with a thick Kevlar vest and a balaclava beneath the mask. He hadn’t gotten rid of his weapons, not a single one, but rather he had kept them on to give himself a more intimidating appearance.

Honestly, despite his aggressive look, having Ghost appear on your doorstep wasn’t even close to the most negating experience of your night. Despite his intense distaste that he seemed to have for you, seeing him here was almost relieving. It had almost heartening to see him, to have him this close.

Even if he would rather not adhere to this bond, you were happy to see him again. Regardless of how they scared the shit out of you, having Ghost here was almost exhilarating.

Being in the presence of your soulmate, irregardless of his feelings for you, was affecting you almost as intensely as it had the night you met them.

“What,” your voice had taken a hard edge, your eyes narrowing in on them, “are you doing here?!”

Johnny grinned, boyishly, in a manner that made you irritated. His natural penchant to be a man riddled with good-natured humour, and humour at others expense, had been vexing to say the least. But no more than his ability to also make you forget your qualms with a man like him.

Johnny would have been a good friend, but you couldn’t have handled someone like him continually trying to get under your skin.

“I guess we need another favour.” Johnny’s voice first caught your attention; however, it was Ghost that had kept it.

Another look at him, and another remembrance of his size, was yet again capable of producing a sort of enchantment that took hold of you. He was at least 6’4” if not 6’5” and seeing him in person, for only the second time, had reiterated your feeling of being a sprout compared to him.

Between Ghost & König, you felt like a little sprite, a little gaiety creature surrounded by giants and beasts. Hell, even compared to Johnny, you felt short.

“Ghost.” You spoke his code name, far more airily than you wanted to.

You were captivated by him, and his aggressive nature. He was your soulmate despite denying you and attempting to push you away, and want was only natural. The desire to be around each other, to hear each others voice and grow deeper connected, was only natural.

Fate was not to be ignored, fate was not going to let any of you, not the three of you, part from the other. You were, and always would be, connected and bound together.

You were watching Ghost, and he was watching you, his chin tucked ever so slightly. His eyes had narrowed, minimally, and his fingers flexed around the gun he held in his hands. The tension between you was skyrocketing, thick and heavy, and bubbling over with desire and mutual need.

“You want some privacy-“ you struck Johnny again, as hard as you could with everything you could.

“Y/N! Did you kill my husband?!” Em’s voice was far more panicked than before, concern for her husband's well-being at your hand was not understated.

“Not yet.” You reassured her, though you felt tempted by the idea of murdering her husband. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“We had to deal with something—“ Johnny trailed off, ending the half-sentence abruptly. You thought it had been the end of it, and then you heard him speaking again. “Gonna let us in, love?”

“You don’t call me that.” You grit your teeth and bend down to gather your thrown items, ultimately standing and bundling them in your arms. “Why are you here? Didn’t think they allowed stop-offs when you’re doing the military’s work.”

“Got a job, went sideways. We only have an hour, two at max. Can we come in?”

Your eyes had been caught by Ghosts’ again, and your heart racing. There was such a draw to him, beyond the fear and the apprehension, you just wanted to be around him.

“You wanna come in?” Your question was aimed at Johnny, but looked at Ghost, and then turned back. “Your cut looks good, healed okay. You have another?”

“Not me. Got time?” Johnny’s grin seemed permanently affixed to his face, another layer to the charming Scotsman.

“I do now.” You mumbled under your breath and turned back to your door, opening for the three of you.

“If you murder me...” you looked back at Johnny, your stomach flipping end over end. “... I’ll haunt you.”

“So paranoid, lass.” Johnny’s retort was airy, and he was clearly amused, though you hadn’t seen the humour in it at all.

“Are you allowed to be here? Aren’t you on a time constraint?” You questioned them both as you stepped inside and waved them in.

There was hesitancy on both, parties, neither of them immediately wanting to step into your house.

Though Johnny was more receptive to coming in, even he had waited a moment before he stepped over the threshold and entered your place. As he had, you dropped your bag down onto your floor and kicked off your shoes. You flicked on the light switch and cast another look back at the two of them.

Both were wearing tactical gear, although Ghost seemed to have more, and while you could see the flag of their respective home countries on each of their uniforms, you were drawn to the UK flag on Simon’s.

“You can come in, maybe explain why you thought it was okay to give me a heart attack.” Your invitation was both ambiguous and intimate, depending on the two men who heard it.

Johnny had spared no effort to step into your townhouse, almost needing to step sideways with his gear; however, Ghost hadn’t been so eager. He stood on the other side of the door, staring you down with piercing blue eyes that struck deep into your soul.

And as you got a better look at both of them, you noticed the distinguishable sight of blood. Soap had seemed to be better off than not, with the man only receiving specks of the hemoglobin on his arms and forehead; however, it seemed like Ghost had a gash on his arm.

It didn’t look deep, but it was open, and it needs to be taken care of.

You didn’t want to know the details of how it happened, you didn’t think you could stomach the idea of it; however, you knew it must’ve been a sporadic event. His sleeve was ripped, torn or cut to find the wound, and there was already dried blood around his gash.

“Shit.” You winced at the sight of it, knowing that this was the explanation for their sudden appearance at your house. “You need that looked at, and it needs to be sewn.”

“Thought we should make a house call. Em gave me your address.” Johnny set the rifle in his hands down, much like Ghost had, and started undoing the Velcro straps of his Kevlar vest.

It is unclear to you why you didn’t notice before, why you hadn’t seen the wound on his arm and the missing portion of his sleeve, but now that you had, you knew you needed to fix it.

You didn’t need details, you hadn’t wanted details, and even if you had, you doubted they would tell you. Or at the very least fabricate a lie like Em.

That’s what you expected, that’s what you had anticipated, however you were once again surprised when Ghost had stepped forward toward your couch, littered with folded clothes you had forgotten about, and spoke with a gruff thick accent.

“Dealing with leftover shit, damned bastard set traps.” His gruff British accent had a surreal affect on you, the visible tremble of your hands and the definite acknowledgment of how attractive you’d found it, mentally at least.

It came naturally to your mind, and settled into your thoughts warmly.

An innate desire to hear it again, whispering the same kind of sexually fuelled words that had been uttered on the night that you had gone out drinking. It had been a turn on for you that night, the uttered sounds fuelling your need to find self-pleasure, and that had been shared with the two of them.

And you’d just as easily found yourself captivated by his thick British accent, and König’s German one.

“I have a habit of asking doctors for extra supplies just in case. I have surgical thread, I can sew it up.” You spoke quickly.

You were far more anxious being in your house with these two men, one being your soulmate, than you were in the hospital room with a crowd of them.

There, you felt standoffish.

Here, it felt intimate.

“I’ll just...” you glanced at the folded clothes, thanking your self-preservation for hiding your underwear in stacks of scrubs instead of keeping them out.

Still, you’d felt momentarily embarrassed by the state of your clothes folded and left out, and you’d quickly picked them up and set them back in the basket.

You’d wanted to put them away before you’d gone to work and never had the chance, your morning starting chaotically by your phone alarms failing.

“I’ll be right back. Umm...sit, make yourselves....just sit.” You turned away from them and headed toward the stairs, grabbing hold of the railings. You held onto both as you climbed the steps to the bathroom, stepping inside and opening the cupboard to the left.

You grabbed your first aid kit from the bottom shelf and tucked it under your arm, using your free hand to grab the antiseptic and gauze. With everything you needed, you headed back downstairs and to the living room, side-eyeing the two of them as they were in very different positions.

While Johnny was unceremoniously draped across one of your second hand armchairs, Ghost was standing near the couch, however he wasn’t sitting. He was staring dead on at a picture of you when you were younger that was taken at your favourite spot in the world.

Devonshire Beach was at the cusp of a massive lake, one that stretched for miles upon miles. The water was warm and relatively clear, with a sandy bottom. The lake had remained shallow enough to touch the bottom for what seemed like a mile before your feet wouldn’t reach, and the soft sand had continued well onto the shoreline.

In the picture you were seven or eight, covered in wet sand with a wide grin on your face and the sun at your back. You had just come out of the water after spending all day at the shoreline, and in the water, and there was no shortage of happy weeks there.

Devonshire Beach was one of the only times and places you’d actually enjoyed being in your dad’s presence. Every other time, you’d found ire for the man who would rather spend time with his girlfriend than his child.

But when he took you to Devonshire Beach, and let you run wild, you were truly happy. When you were in that water, on that beach, your father's indiscretions didn’t matter. You had the water, you had the sand, and you had the endless lake to spend your time in.

“That’s my favourite place in the whole world. I spent weeks there every summer when it was my dads turn to take me.” You set the first aid kit on the coffee table, talking to both of them, but mostly Ghost, as he had looked at your picture.

“I try to go back once a summer for a few weeks. Honestly, if I could live there, I would.” Your small conversation attempt with the roguish soldier was one-sided though you knew he, and König, acknowledged what you said and thought, when you felt that flourish of warmth in your body.

You thought of it, of the lake and the beach that you loved. The untouched source of happiness you experienced with your divorced father, and the soft glow of the sun. You were sharing that memory with them, all while Ghost was studying the coutures on your walls and Johnny looked like he was sleeping.

“I have the first aid kit, I can fix your arm.” You broke the silence and drew his attention away from the pictures on your wall, back to yourself.

His eyes had been striking, impossibly bright against the dark around his eyes and the bleached skeleton mask. He had turned further to face you, only taking two long strides to the couch, and sitting down almost silently.

“This might hurt,” you reached into the first aid kit for the kit of needles you had, as well as the gauze and wipes, “I’m sorry if I hurt you.”

Ghost was silent but observant.

He had extended his arm to allow you access to the gash, and a better look at the tattoos he had on his arm. You had taken a brief look at the ink marking his skin, the story of each tattoo simultaneously cohesive and almost.

Although you knew there was some meaning to them, to him, you weren’t going to ask.

“I’m sorry if this hurts.” You apologized prematurely and dabbed the antiseptic wipe against the edge of the wound first, watching him carefully for any indication that it hurt.

“Does this feel okay? Does it hurt? Am I hurting you?” His answer, predictably, came through your mind.

Doesn’t scratch the surface, love

“I don’t have any numbing gel or cream, so this might hurt more—“ you were cut off, rather abruptly, by his thick accent verbalizing his state of mind.

“I’ve been through hell, this is nothing.” His blue eyes bore into your own, and there was a cathartic minute where your gazes had been locked on each others.

Heat, intense and deep, had struck you like lightning. It was powerful and all encompassing, an internal combustion that was directly rooted in your fated bond.

Soulmates intertwined with each other in every captivating way.

Eventually, you dropped your gaze and finished cleaning the gash on his arm.

You had exchanged the antiseptic wipes for the surgical thread you’d taken from one of the doctors there. While there was no trauma bay, nor really, or any surgery rooms, a few of the doctors that worked there also worked in the city.

And they had known you wanted to stock up on your own miniature medical stash at your place. All it took was a conversation, a simple favour the next time they were in the city hospital, and at least one would try to abide by your request.

As you threaded the needle, you hummed a song under your breath. You worked quickly to tie and cut off the excess, only to hesitate before you made the first mark.

“You’ll tell me if it hurts, right?” Your concerns for him, about hurting him, were high. You hated the idea of not having some numbing cream or gel, and without freezing it could be incredibly painful.

With his silence, you had started the process of stitching his wound, weaving the needle and the medical thread in and out of his skin to close it again. You worked in silence under the weight of his icy gaze, a slight tremble to your hands as you worked.

You hadn’t been this close to him in months, not since you’d first met him, and he was intimidating. He was built like a mountain, with his height and weight relative to his thick size and strength. He could easily kill you with his hands, and everything else about him was just as pertinent to terrifying anyone he came across.

“Are you okay?” You questioned Simon again, doubling down on your insistence that you hadn’t wanted to hurt him. “Simon..?”

You sat up on your haunches and reached for his mask, fingertips grazing the hard shell before he stopped you. His hand snatched your wrist and squeezed enough to make you startle. His eyes narrowed, and though you couldn’t see his mouth, you figured he might have been scowling at you.

In exchange, you had tried to tug your wrist away, stumbling forward as he held you firm. He had leaned down, drawing himself closer and allowing you to see the darker flecks in his blue eyes.

“I never take my mask off.”

“I’m sorry!” Your voice was tight, squeaking almost. “I won’t touch it again.”

Johnny, to his credit, had noticed the shift in tension and flipped himself right, placing his boots on the ground. His own wondering gaze had flitted between the two of you, and his lips had become pursed.

“Y’okay, Y/N?” There was a protectiveness, a kind that would be present between a brother and sister.

“I’m fine. I’m almost finished.” Your hands shook, and you felt real fear, real apprehension. You worked as quickly as you could, tying off the rest of the stitches and giving it a final wipe with antiseptic.

When you were done, you threw everything back in the first aid kit and zipped it shut, hastily returning it back to the bathroom.

You’d almost hoped they’d have been gone by the time you returned, both were still present however they were getting ready to leave. You shuffled into the living room, still on the edge of fear, with your heart racing.

“The stitches need to stay in for 4–14 days, depending on how fast you heal. You could cut them yourself, but if you have a medic or doctor on your...base or wherever—“

“Thanks, Y/N. You’ve said our asses twice now.” Johnny had finished securing his Kevlar vest, and the Velcro that kept it in on place, and then he picked up his gun. “Three weeks in Scotland, yeah?”

“Mandatory time off. I haven’t used my vacation hours and they won’t give me anymore.” You explained softly, not being able to look at Ghost for longer than a few seconds. “Plus it's been almost 4 years since I’ve seen Emilia.”

“You mean for more than 12 hours.” Johnny added, stretching his arms above his head. “She’s excited for ya, been talking nonstop about you and her going out for your birthday.”

I forgot about that, your thoughts betrayed you, 25 in two weeks

Birthday? When is your birthday, schätzchen? König’s voice had crackled in your mind, his question softened.

“Apparently 25 is a big deal.” You furrowed your brows and crossed your arms over your chest. “I don’t celebrate my birthday usually.”

“Please for the love of God, humour my wife.”

Johnny practically begged, teasing her endearingly. “Let her take you out.”

“Mhmm.” You nodded and hummed, watching Johnny leave your house first, stepping forward to clsoe the door behind them. “I promise I’ll let her drag me out.”

“I love my wife, I’d die for her, but sometimes...” Johnny grinned, only minutely serious, and then he glanced back at Ghost. “LT...?”

You watched him standing just outside the doorway, his eyes once again boring into yours. As you stepped forward to close the door, one solid hand had pushed you back against the doorframe, and another cupped your chin.

His hand was large, fingers partially obscured by gloves that were cut off at his first knuckles. He had stepped close to you, trapping you between his body and your door. With one hand cupping your chin and his unrelenting eyes keeping your gaze hostage, you were breathlessly waiting for...something.

Tension was climbing, and it felt as if everything else surrounding you had become dull and stagnant. You couldn’t tear your eyes off him, you were unable to stop your heart from beating wildly.

Slowly he leaned in, closer and closer until his voice was nothing more than a whisper to you.

“Shouldn’t have scared ya, love.” It was as apologetic as you imagined he could get. “Fixed me good.”

“Don’t....get shot or anything. At least not before you get to an actual doctor.” A dry, humourless sound was heard between you, and then his hand tightened on your chin.

“LT! We gotta go!” Johnny called out from the front steps of your place, urging Ghost to leave.

Another moment, brief as it was, and then he pulled away. “Have a good night, love.”

He stepped away from the front door, watching you with intensity until you closed the door behind them and switched the lock.

[celestialtarot11]

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑴𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒛 𝑩𝒓𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒔-𝑨𝒏 𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒍𝒐𝒈𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒍 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒑𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒕

Hey friends! I hope all is well <3 pls remember to drink water and stay hydrated! Today we’ll be discussing a heavier case in regard to The Menendez Brothers. That being said—astrology does not justify anything that happened to them. While it helps to understand what unfolded, it does not excuse the abuse they endured. I only share my thoughts and perspective with respect to the survivors. Please do not read if you are uncomfortable. Thank you.

tw: mentions of abuse, rape, psychological & physical, separation, mentions of the trial. mentions of kitty menendez, jose menendez.

Both brothers had lilith in the 1h and in the documentary, even after their evidence of mistreatment, abuse and sexual assault, they were still portrayed as sex symbols. Lilith in the 1h natives are often projected onto from other peoples sexual fantasies, often obscuring the natives true identity. This impacted the Menendez Brothers to the point they urged people to not watch the documentary, that it was grossly inaccurate to their trauma.

Lilith in the 1h—To add, at the time of their sentencing, no one believed their abuse. Everyone thought because of their gender, men could not have been abused. They lacked the “necessary tools,” as it was said. They were cast aside as different, attention seeking and spoiled children. When in reality so much was going on, and it was revealed. Lilith in the 1h natives experienced condemnation by others, shame and mockery. Lilith in the 1h individuals may also come across as “different,” unconventional in their approach to life, situations. For example at the time in 1996, sexual abuse was viewed as something that could happen only to women, until it happened to these brothers. They were part of a massive systemic shock amongst other cases.

They are continued to be misrepresented in the media, even with the documentary the men are still misunderstood even with the knowledge we have today: men can also be sexually abused.

Compared to real life where the brothers had the capacity of a 8 and a 10 year old, as a psychologist confirmed, Lyle and Erik in the documentary were displayed as: violent, lashing out, and using sex as a way explain their sexual attraction to one another. There’s a difference in maturity levels in the documentary, compared to reality. The documentary completely missed the point that the brothers were stunted due to the abuse.

Once again, Lilith really emphasizes how misunderstood these brothers are. They are seen in a more violent and fetishized light. There was no way two brothers with the mental capacity of 8 and 10 would completely understand the gravity of a healthy sexual relationship, when their entire life neglected proper parental figures and did the raping in the first place.

Kitty Menendez had her mars retrograde in Aries. She did not speak up for her sons abuse rather abided, and helped along with her sons abuse. (This does not mean everyone with a mars in aries retrograde will do this) She had a very hard time facing the truth, even when confronted by her sister and cousins about the abuse. In fact she lied and gaslit them into thinking nothing was wrong, but even then the cousins didn’t believe it.

Her ability to take action was severely impaired, and resulted in her abiding with her husband’s abuse. With mars retrograde here, she often struggled to maintain a proper motherly figure to her sons. She gravitated towards unhealthy extremes: lashing out, physically hurting her sons. She could not step up in terms of being a leader and hid the abuse.

In fact, she only admitted to having dark secrets once she were alone with her therapist. She had misaligned morals and values, constantly using her sons as a way to express her anger.

Jose Menendez had lilith conj. Chiron and was the one who conducted the abuse, along with Kitty. He projected all of his fantasies and channeled it into something darker and nasty towards his sons. What is also interesting yet gruesome is his lilith in virgo falls into Eriks 1st house—even more Lilith synastry denoting abuse themes. Dark, heavy, and sinister. Erik was always viewed as the one “getting involved,” and trying to be around family a lot more, putting himself in situations where his father didn’t approve of. It only regarded in Erik being hurt badly in the end.

Jose Menendez both hurt Lyle and Erik equally here. It isn’t to say both brothers trauma are comparable, less or more. Jose definitely had more of a focus on Erik, since Lyle went off to Princeton. He channeled his frustrations and depraved anger into him. Eventually Lyle found out the abuse was still happening to Erik, even as he found a wife and had it going great in University. That was when everything changed.

Joses’ saturn in gemini fell into Eriks 10h. Jose often isolated Erik and Lyle, and there was even a moment when his cousin tried to check up on Erik since he didn’t come down for dinner. The rule was this: no one was allowed upstairs or near the rooms, the entire floor. Jose wanted to avoid anyone seeing Erik or Lyle after the rape took place. He asserted his authority by threatening anyone who tried to defy him. He ruled with an iron fist. He strongly kept Erik to his side, seeing that after Lyle focused on University that was his outlet to vent his crude fantasies. Strong themes of power were here.

Eriks’ Saturn fell into Lyles’ first house signifying a tight, close bond. A bond no one else could understand. The two had seen each other completely at their worst and now at their highest. Their sense of being free was misunderstood though. The moment of being sentenced to prison, Eriks’ face conveyed safety and relief. It was saddening to see as prison didn’t exactly provide a safe space for the two, yet Erik still knew they were better there than under their family.

Lyle risked everything to save Erik, considering their saturnic bond. He always came back for his little brother.

Pluto in Leo—Joses’ reputation and image went to shit after being killed. All the secrets spilled out. Everything that was hidden, repressed and manipulated came out to the open. He had a dramatic death by gunshot. Pluto was also conj. North Node in retrograde, which also signified a sudden fast death. Sudden ending. What’s also interesting is Kitty’s sister, and cousins didn’t regret their deaths. They all were proud and trusted Erik and Lyle, knowing exactly the torment they went through. Pluto in Leo brought strong feelings of contempt, rage and shock in the communities.

𝓛𝔂𝓵𝓮𝓼’ 𝓢𝓪𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓷 ���𝓮𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓷

At the time of the sentencing: Lyle Menendez started his saturn return. Saturn is known for obstacles, delays, and restraints. Injustice. Misrepresentation. Lyle was misrepresented as a monster, even 32 years later. His sentencing was long, due to Saturns’ influence here. This was the turning point in 1996 that caused the separation between them as well.

Both brothers thought they would be going to the same prison—but instead ended up separated for 22 years. We’ll discuss this later.

The day of the trial, Lyle in his Saturn return had Chiron in Libra. His entire case was viewed with inequality and misandry, leading to a long prison sentence. The judges were crude in their questioning and dismissed all evidence of trauma and abuse that ever happened to Lyle. Which was the most important factor of it all. Friends and family weren’t allowed to testify—which is what Libra is about. Harmony, working together, instead there was a massive division placed by the system.

He also had Saturn transiting his 11h. The masses viewed Lyle was ‘’weak,’’ for not enduring the abuse or running away. They painted him as a snobby white kid, rich who wanted money by murdering his parents for it. They bruised him for his lack of ‘’leadership,’’ qualities hence Aries, even though he himself never grew up with stable leadership. He was met with horrible backlash lasting years since Saturn sat in the 11h of fame and the masses. Constant criticism and misinterpretation. They stripped away his power and masculinity, rendering him as someone weak and feeble. Naive.

Venus retrograde also pointed to a lack of fairness during the trials. Completely met with cruel judgements of their life experiences, slander, and belittlement. Even news reporters tried to paint them as both weak white men—for not enduring the abuse. The reporters tried to paint Erik and Lyle as gay, in an effort to excuse the trauma all together based on sexuality. It was gruesome considering the brothers never had a proper chance to safely explore their own life, needs, and individuality to even answer that question purely.

He had mercury sitting on his ascendant and opened up about his horrible experiences at home. The things he endured. With mercy conj. Mars it elicited deep traumatic feelings within him, multiple times through out the trial Lyle used his voice, hands to recreate the scenarios. The exact facial expressions his parents did. He used his body to express the full scale of his words.

Mercury opposite Pluto—He was also met with a lifetime of questioning, doubt, and was painted as a liar for his ‘’acting’’ skills. People never took his words seriously, often twisting it to their own benefit.

Interestingly enough Lyle had Saturn Square Moon on his saturn return. The only closest bond he had was with his brother. His brother was his companion throughout his entire gruesome childhood. Only to be separated as they head to prison for 22 years. Saturn squaring the moon denotes isolation, detachment, and separation from all that you loved.

Even after everything Erik went on to explore painting and meditation in his community in prison. Saturn in the 9th house strongly denotes exploration of this—even mentoring others. Erik found a way to channel his feelings. And he is a scorpio moon, so it makes sense he is attracted to the arts.

Whereas Lyle is earth dominant (taurus rising, Capricorn sun and mercury) and channeled his feelings by working out. Getting physical in his body. He trained a lot.

Lastly—which I find very touching is Erik has all benefics in his 3rd house of siblings. Moon, venus and Jupiter. His brother saved him from the abuse and put an end to it. With his 3rd house being in Scorpio, it ended with a systemic disruption, and a tumultuous uproar in the community. His sibling and him share a raw deep connection, something they never had with anyone else. Even though Eriks’ venus was retrograde, his brother was his guiding figure. His star. Someone who he greatly looked up to.

Thank yall so much for reading 🙏🏻 my heart goes out to the Menendez brothers. I really hope they receive the justice they truly deserve. I learned so much just by analyzing their charts and I’m incredibly thankful for this privileged information to learn from them.

Should I make a pt 2 for how their retrial might go? Let me know below. Please like comment and reblog to share the love 🤍🪽

Extra

Paid Readings🤍

[indigovigilance]

Every single minisode is Aziraphale's memory, and why that's [not?] important

There is extensive meta-analysis, my own included, that Before the Beginning is a doctored memory resulting from erasure of Angel!Crowley, and that the trace of him that is left in Aziraphale's memory is the Starmaker, so that this is what we see at the opening of S2. With this foundation of "some scenes are altered memories," we can critically examine the minisodes and see that, in fact, they are ALL Aziraphale's memories that are potentially subject to doctoring.

Evidence (and exploration) below the cut:

A Companion to Owls

The largest part (S2E2 22:10 to 44:00) Book of Job flashback is book-ended by Aziraphale leaning over the physical Book of Job in his bookshop. We enter the memory when Aziraphale enters it, we leave it when he leaves it. Pretty straightforward.

The Ressurrectionists

Similarly, in S2E3, we begin the first flashback to 1827 with Aziraphale's "dear diary" entry. We flash out each time to Aziraphale: in the car to Edinburgh, getting out of the car at the Ressurrectionist Pub, and with Aziraphale staring up at the statue of Gabriel while standing in the graveyard in Edinburgh, respectively for each of the three flashbacks. This all strongly indicates that we've been in his memory.

Nazi Zombie Flesheaters

I didn't even notice until I was doing research for this that basically the entire episode takes place in 1941. From the end of the main title at 5:00 to 37:50, we never come out of the 1941 story. But what is interesting is what bookends this minisode.

Before the main title, Shax has tricked her way into Aziraphale's car and alludes to a time when a rumor started about our ineffable husbands:

Sometime in the last 80 or 90 years I remember hearing that you and Crowley were an item. I didn't believe it then. Not really. Poor old Furfur.

And when we flash back to modern day, we first go to Hell with Shax proposing a full frontal assault on the bookshop, and then we get:

Aziraphale has arrived back in SOHO, and has spent the 8 hour drive reminiscing about what Shax alluded to.

But this part gets even weirder. Because the final line of the episode is:

You're really hosting the meeting? Absolutely! And I can guarantee you: it will be a night to remember!

What this means in context of the 3 memory sequence

This line has been taken by a lot of analysts as a reference to A Night to Remember by Walter Lord, a collection of first person accounts of passengers of the Titanic. Most notably, the thematic ties of this work to the cinematographic design of Good Omens are captured by this quote:

A key to Lord's method is his technique of adopting an unconventional approach to the chronology of the event, "[taking] an imaginative approach to time and space in which hours and minutes prove extremely malleable, the ship itself seems almost infinitely complex, and the disaster assumes order and unity from far away."

Which is an amazing connection, and probably true, in that it was a deliberate reference by the writers. "Malleability of time and space" describes well how this show is put together for us the viewer. But it also illustrates how Aziraphale experiences his relationship with Crowley; skipping over centuries at a time, while dwelling on and protracting intimate moments spent together, create a cohesive whole when viewed from a distance. That whole is their relationship. [Which is about to go down like an unsinkable ship.]

But absent the literary reference, we could even take this line for its literal meaning. Aziraphale is talking about forming new memories, after we have spent the last three episodes living in his memories of times with Crowley that were key to shaping their relationship. This isn't a S1E3-style series of allusions to a furtive, flirtatious, and organically blossoming intimacy; these are rough events where the two are shoved into moral quandaries and forced to make some really difficult decisions that bring them closer together and define "their side." These are core memories, and incredibly precious to Aziraphale. And now, after a few short days in which he has spent a lot of time ruminating on these intense memories, he is embarking upon the task of making another important memory, that is, dancing with Crowley.

Why We Care

Because memories can be altered, all of the information we get from these episodes is subject to a reliable narrator problem. As of the Gabriel trial, we know that memories can be doctored even when the person in question isn't present. Crowley knows that his memories have been removed or altered, and has put painful effort into retrieving them. Aziraphale may not realize that he has suffered the same fate. These memories that he holds so dear might not even be true.

Memory, Identity, and the Relevance of Fidelity

We would probably expect to get some "corrections" to these memories in S3, to see exactly what kind of manipulations our heroes suffered and what that reveals about the motivations of the perpetrators. That's how a paranormal mystery story with a memory manipulation element would normally proceed.

But it will be even more significant if we don't; it would speak to a philosophy-of-self that you are not the product of your objective past, but of what you remember, and so we don't get to know what actually happened because it doesn't matter to informing us about who Aziraphale is.

Aziraphale's love for Crowley springs from what he remembers about their shared past; it doesn't necessarily matter that the memories aren't true, because the love is.

~~~

I realize that I kinda buried the lead, so if you reblog, please tag appropriately? I'm taking suggestions.

If you want to read more on this topic, this meta by @ineffable-suffering is a good place to go.

[lurkingshan]

10 Things I Love About Oppan

I have been tracking Ossan no pantsu ga nandatte ii janai ka aka Don't Care for an Old Man's Underwear aka Oppan in my weekly Japanese QL Corner posts, but this show is so good that I need to give it a full tribute now that the entire thing is available with English subs courtesy of @isaksbestpillow. You can find everything you need to watch here.

This is easily one of my favorite dramas of the year, and it had such a great cast of awesome characters and a story chock full of fantastic themes. This is a show that encourages us not to get desensitized to the world around us, to always challenge ourselves to learn and grow and update how we think about others and the culture we live in, and to prioritize personal happiness over conformity. I love it so much and I want to talk about why, because I hope more of you will, too! @twig-tea wrote a great spoiler free pitch for the show here; this one is not spoiler free in the hopes that those of you who like a bit more info will be further enticed to give it a try. On to the list!

This is a story about a middle-aged cishet man who realizes he has damaged his relationships and sets out to change to do right by his family

There are so few stories of genuinely great fathers in media, and I found something so healing in watching a dad try so hard to do his best. Just the very fact that Makoto cares that he has hurt his family and is willing to put in work to change sets him apart, both in media and in real life.

An unconventional friendship is the heart of the story—and it changes both the characters' lives

Our core relationship begins when Daichi prevents Makoto from falling down a set of neighborhood steps, and the two strike up a surprising friendship when Daichi proves open to listening to Makoto as he struggles to figure out where he went wrong with his family. Daichi is kind and warm-hearted but also firm in his convictions, and his wisdom is exactly what Makoto needs to start updating himself.

Daichi is a gay character who’s allowed to be a whole human—he is not here just to be a magical queer mentor for Makoto

And before you worry that Daichi is a Manic Pixie Dream Gay here only to support Makoto, let me assure you that he also has a story, and it’s more complex than you might initially expect. Daichi has a lot of confidence when it comes to helping other people solve their own problems, but we eventually learn that he's not so assured about his own struggles. Daichi has other relationships that matter aside from his bond with Makoto and his family and he gets his own character arc in which Makoto is able to support him in return. They have a mutual bond that changes both of them for the better.

It takes a gentle and thoughtful approach to figuring yourself out, and encourages us to be kind to others experiencing things we don't understand 

There are so many characters in this show whose stories highlight this theme, but it is perhaps most evident in the story of Kakeru, Makoto's son, grappling with his identity and gender presentation. This show will surprise you again and again with how open and thoughtful it is about questions of identity and preference, and it constantly reinforces that we shouldn't assume we know everything about others and how they will react to our truths--if we give people a chance to know us, they might be more kind and supportive than we think.

This story sincerely believes that doing what makes you happy is always the right choice

And they make it clear over and over again: your personal happiness matters more than any societal constructs or cultural norms. Letting go of what people outside of their family think is what heals the Okitas and helps them find their love and trust for one another again.

Relatedly, it gets fandom in a way few dramas do

Makoto's wife, Mika, is a kpop stan, and his daughter, Moe, is a yaoi mangaka. One of the best parts of the show is Makoto coming to understand and appreciate their fandom and learn to respect the joy it gives them, and in turn, the whole family.

Everyone has the chance to redeem themselves

Regardless of what they have done in the past, every character in this story has a chance to redeem themselves and earn trust and respect back--and earn is the operative word there. This show doesn't demand perfection, but it absolutely demands that you care when you harm others and earnestly try to do better, and we see many characters take that journey. This is further underlined by a character in the story who does not put in that effort to try, and consequently is not forgiven or brought into the family fold. So satisfying.

Every character and every relationship matters

I was constantly amazed by how attentive this show is to every single relationship, not just the big family ones, or even just Makoto and Daichi. Makoto also goes out of his way to get to know Daichi's boyfriend Madoka, his coworkers, and Moe and Kakeru's friends, and we see connections form and deepen between so many side characters in this story. It really cares about all its characters as whole people.

And while it's doing all of this important thematic work and making us cry on the regular, it also manages to be very fucking funny! 

This show is hilarious, which may surprise you given all the heavy thematic work it's doing. But the writing has a deft touch and it manages to explore all these themes with a lot of humor. Watching Makoto learn new things and blunder his way through connecting with others is truly a delight.

And it caps off all of this with a great story about having the courage to love in the face of bigotry and a beautiful gay wedding

Perhaps the biggest spoiler here: we get a gay wedding! I was so surprised and thrilled to see Daichi and Madoka decide to marry--and not without some stumbles--and bring the Okita family so fully into their joy. What a beautiful way to end a gorgeous show. I will miss all of these people dearly.

[chishiyasleftnut]

What about a smut where they use a mirror? The more unconventional the better 😏

/chishiyaisasnack

Hi! (* ^ ω ^) I tried my best to do a mirror fic. I hope you'll like it :)

"Look"

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤 Warnings: Smut. Pairing: Chishiya x fem!reader.

Plot: Chishiya brings fem!reader to a love hotel with a room covered in mirrors.

1991 words. 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

You weren’t entirely sure why you were being dragged across the deserted Tokyo, but here you were, blindly following Chishiya. All he had said was that he had someone to show you. Trusting someone this much could turn dangerous, but you had come to trust Chishiya so you followed him despite common sense.

“So, where are we going?” you asked for the 3rd time, causing Chishiya to snicker.

“You’ll see.”

“I would rather know,” you retorted.

“Now, that would ruin the surprise, wouldn’t it?”

You groaned, but nonetheless dropped the topic as you knew you would not manage to get a better answer out of him. After 10 (long) more minutes, you found yourself in Kabukichō, a rather sketchy part of Tokyo where Chishiya finally stopped in front of a klitchy looking love hotel. You raised your eyebrows at the sight before looking at Chishiya.

“Did you really drag me across town for a love hotel? What’s wrong with your room at the Beach?”

You heard another low chuckle before Chishiya took your hand in his to lead you inside. The reception looked just as you imagined: if there had been electricity you could choose your room from a machine, avoiding eye contact with and potentially being recognised by the staff. However, now there were of course no electricity nor any staff, so the both of you entered with no shame.

“I found something interesting that the Beach doesn’t have,” Chishiya replied with a low voice as if there were other people around. “I think you’ll like it.”

He led you through long, dark corridors and multiple stairways until you got to room 302. Chishiya stopped in front of the door, presumably wanting you to open it yourself.

“I swear to god if this is some weird Hello Kitty bondage room then I’ll… oh.”

Opening the door revealed a somewhat normal looking room. That was, until you saw the many large mirrors all over the walls. You stepped inside and noticed that even the ceiling was one big mirror. Placed against one wall was a king sized bed, neatly made so you felt sure that it was clean - at least as clean as you can realistically expect a sketchy love hotel in Kabukichō to be. You stepped further inside and looked around at the many mirror images of yourself.

“So,” Chishiya said, “what do you think?”

You snorted as you heard him close and lock the door.

“What do I think? I think it’s weird that you made me walk 45 minutes to have sex in a love hotel.”

Despite your words displaying annoyance, your tone indicated everything but that. You were quite amused by his antics and Chishiya could see that. He approached you further, wrapping his hands around your waist and pulling you in closer to him.

“Come on, it’ll be fun,” he said lowly into your ear, sending shivers down your spine. His lips began trailing from your ear to your neck, lingering just long enough to not leave any marks. While taking off your shirt, Chishiya moved, forcing you to back slowly towards the bed until you reached it and was pushed down on it. Chishiya followed, crawling on top of you so his lips could continue their journey down your body.

His face purposefully moved south, licking and sucking your goosebump covered skin. He unzipped your pants, pulling them off of you and carelessly throwing them on the floor next to the bed. You looked so good like that - only in your underwear and with eyes that screamed ‘take me’. However, he wasn’t going to give you what you wanted. Not yet at least.

With gentle hands he freed you of your panties before pulling you up, so you were sitting upright. The look on your face must have revealed how confused you were with this move. It wasn’t the usual process you went through when you had sex. Chishiya seemed to have something new in mind.

“Just trust me,” he said almost growling. The smirk on his lips made you crave him even more - you loved that smirk, even when you found it infuriating at times and he, of course, knew that. “Turn towards the mirror,” he instructed. You followed orders and was met by your own reflection.

Chishiya parted your legs, giving you full view of yourself. You turned your head to speak to him, but he promptly but carefully grabbed your chin and turned your gaze back towards the mirror.

“I want you to look. To see what I see.”

You nodded and kept your eyes on you and Chishiya’s reflections. Chishiya moved behind you, unclasped your bra and threw it on the floor next to the rest of your clothes. You were now fully exposed. His hands moved under your arms, cupping your breasts, and giving them a small squeeze before trailing down slowly. As told, you kept looking at the scene reflected in the mirror, your gaze following his hands carefully.

His hands moved over your pubic mound. Much to your dismay, they avoided your core and instead moved to your inner thighs, caressing them up and down and trailing circles around your increasingly wet centre. The way your hips moved to chase his fingers made Chishiya chuckle. You knew it was in vain - if anything it only made him enjoy toying with you even more.

“You want it, don’t you?” he whispered into your ear.

“More than anything.”

Feeling as if he was done teasing you, his fingers finally slid in between your wet fold, moving up and down to coat himself in your arousal but ignoring you entrance. Instead, his fingers moved upwards where he began circling your clit, his fingers easily gliding over the nub. You gasped and closed your eyes to focus on the feeling as you usually did.

“Open your eyes,” Chishiya commanded. His voice was surprisingly soft, and even though it was a mere whisper you felt inclined to obey. You opened your eyes, noticing how your mouth was slightly open and your eyelids half closed. For the first time you saw how your hips moved in response to his touch.

Your hand moved up behind your shoulder where you grabbed ahold of Chishiya’s hair, nonverbally telling him just how much you enjoyed it. Your other hand moved down to grab Chishiya’s hand, guiding it from your clit, down your folds, and pressing it into your centre. You moaned and closed your eyes instinctively, causing Chishiya to chuckle again.

“Keep them open,” he whispered before kissing your neck again. You complied and was surprised as just how fucked out his fingers could make you. If this was your reaction to his fingers, how would you react when he fucked you for real?

Chishiya curled his fingers and connected his thumb back to your clit. The combination provoked the well-known tightening in your abdomen, making your legs shake as you fought to keep them open. As always, Chishiya knew exactly how to electrify your nerves. It wasn’t long before the coil snapped and you watched yourself come undone on his fingers, whimpering his name as you usually did. Although it was hard to keep your eyes open you managed to fight your urges. You had to admit you liked what you saw; how your face flushed; how your chest moved up and down as you heaved for air; and how your centre visibly pulsated around his fingers.

“Do you feel good?” Chishiya asked once you got over the last wave of pleasure. You nodded and tried to gather your thoughts. When you finally did you breathlessly asked him something.

“Can I make you feel good too?”

“You always make me feel good,” he said with a smirk. “Go lay down.”

“No, I mean… Can I suck you off?”

The question caught Chishiya off guard. It wasn’t as if you never gave him blowjobs, but it was rare for you to be the one asking. This was a welcomed surprise.

“You never need to ask, you know that right?” he said cheekily while undressing, causing you to roll your eyes.

Your gaze was locked on his body, examining every part closely. Your breath hitched in your throat when he with a quick movement removed his boxers and uncovered his hard length. Chishiya placed his head on the pillow, putting his arms behind it. He was looking up at the ceiling mirror, enjoying the view.

Once he was comfortable you moved between his legs and lowered your head down to his body. First, your tongue glided from the base of his dick all the way up to the tip, earning you a moan and a twitch. You continued this, coating his hardness in your saliva before taking him into your mouth. Chishiya groaned and buckled his hips.

With your tongue gliding from side to side, you bobbed your head up and down, occasionally focusing more on the head with your tongue - you knew that he loved that. It didn’t take many minutes before a hand landed on your head. He could never dream of pushing you, but his hand served as a metronome, deciding the pace of the blowjob. You made sure to occasionally take him in his entirety, letting his dick hit the back of your throat which made his thighs quiver each time.

He was close to finishing - you knew that from the increasing number of twitches and the way his dick got harder and harder - but instead of cumming in your mouth, he pulled your head away from his body. You noticed how his eyes were closed and knew he was doing his damn best to not cum here and there.

“Why did you make me stop?” you asked with a small smile on your lips. “I thought you liked cumming like this?”

Chishiya groaned before opening his eyes, his body still tense. “I do, but I’m not done with you.”

Before you could ask any more questions, Chishiya sat up and grabbed you, throwing your body down on the bed so you were facing the mirror once more. He grabbed your hips and moved them upwards, manoeuvring you so he could take you in doggy position. Instead of immediately pushing himself into you, he laid down on the bed and almost attacked your clit with his tongue. You tried to move your hips, but Chishiya grabbed your thighs tightly, leaving you no chance but to stay.

He was good at it. Very good. Not only did his tongue move fast, but he also applied just the right amount of pleasure. Just as you were about to cum again, he pulled his face away from you and sat up behind you before driving himself into you. It was fast and barely gave you a chance to realise what he was doing. He wasted no time, fucking you hard immediately and causing you both to moan and groan.

“Touch yourself.” he commanded. You complied, caressing your clit. “Look.”

You lifted your head and saw the image of Chishiya viciously thrusting into you as well as your own glazed out facial expression. You noticed how Chishiya was biting his lip, deeply concentrated on making you finish before he did. Of course, he succeeded - he always somehow did. With a few thrusts perfectly hitting your sweet spot, you once more came undone, moaning loudly as you did you. Chishiya’s hips stuttered before he too with a moan finished, filling you up. His hands painfully dug into your hips, but you didn’t mind. Instead, it only furthered the pleasure you felt.

Once you both worked through your orgasms, you laid down on your sides, Chishiya laying behind you so he could trace his fingers up and down your arm. It felt nice and comforting.

“Admit it, this was a good idea,” he whispered smugly into your ear. You chuckled in response.

“It wasn’t half bad, I’ll give you that.”

[thewickedmerman]

My Top 10 Favorite Disney Heroines

Okay, so I've recently been having some issues with making videos and until I can sort it out, I can't really get any new clips for videos. So that makes it harder for me to be able to talk about certain topics I want to discuss on YouTube. However, I really want to talk about this so I decided to make a post here on Tumblr and when I have my technical issues sorted out, I'll post a YouTube version. However, since I'm not playing a character on Tumblr, that means that this won't include my signature merfolk language like "mermazing", "What the Tartarus", or "Dear sweet Poseidon." But you can expect that in my video when I sort out my technical issues.

Anyway, I’ve been criticizing Disney quite a bit lately and while that’s been both fun and therapeutic, I’m still a MASSIVE fan of Disney and would like to talk about something great from them. Since one of my more recent videos where I fixed Disney’s adorkable problem has gotten popular, I figured I would talk about my top 10 favorite Disney heroines. Now lets establish the guidelines. I will only be talking about Disney’s animated heroines, I will only be including characters from their animated movies so that means no TV show heroines like Kim Possible will be included, and I won’t be including characters from properties that Disney has bought. So that means that characters like Anastasia/Anya from Anastasia won’t be included, otherwise she would be in my top 3. Why? Because apart from putting them on DisneyPlus, Disney hasn’t done anything to promote or profit off of these movies so it’s hard to consider them to be actual Disney movies. It’s why I still don’t consider movies like Anastasia to be Disney movies.

But other than that, I will have free range in what heroines make my list. So that means Pixar and Disney sequel heroines will be included. Keep in mind that this will be heavily bias, since this is obviously my opinion. So your favorites aren’t necessarily my favorites and vise versa. Feel free to share your favorites and your thoughts on my list. Just don’t be an asshole about it! Now without any further delay, lets dive right on it.

10. Lilo (Lilo and Stitch Franchise)

This is definitely one of the BEST child characters EVER and I don’t just mean from Disney. She’s weird, eccentric, emotional, she gets into fights, she’s sweet, charming, hilarious, clever, adventurous, sassy, and is just the most entertaining part of her movie. And considering the cast of characters in this franchise, that’s saying A LOT. I love how she is into unconventional things that a girl her age typically isn’t into. It’s great rep for those of us who were the weird kid growing up. I mean, while I wasn’t into the things she was into, being a boy who was, and still is, into traditionally feminine things made me a bit of an outcast growing up. Speaking of great rep, many have said that Lilo is autistic-coded, and while this hasn’t been confirmed by either the original creators or Disney, I definitely can get behind it. Speaking as someone who is autistic, I definitely remember having similar behaviors to Lilo at that age. Not entirely because everyone with autism is different. Me and my wife (@keeloves) are both autistic but we have different sensory issues from each other and behaved differently from each other as kids but still saw ourselves in Lilo. My wife particularly sees herself in Lilo, due to being a brown autistic woman, which you don’t get a lot of rep with in media.

But anyway, even if I didn’t connect to Lilo because of my autism, I would still adore her, especially since I didn’t learn I was autistic until I was a senior in high school and I still grew up loving Lilo. She has a creative way of doing things and it helps her stand out from a lot of heroines. Even heroines that are allegedly supposed to be more unique and break the mold like Mirabel from Encanto, can’t hold a candle to Lilo’s uniqueness. She has a style that’s all her own and that’s what makes her the perfect friend for Stitch, along with her immense generosity. Many have said Lilo means lost in Hawaiian but it can also mean generous one, which perfectly describes Lilo, due to her not only being lonely, but also her generous heart that managed to break through to Stitch. However, she has her limits and when pushed too far will come at you hard. I also relate to her loneliness as someone who has a hard time both making friends and maintaining friendships. She also has some of the best lines in the movie. Her personality continues to shine in the other forms of media she appears in and you can’t have a Lilo and Stitch product without her because she’s the heart of the franchise. Yes, I’m aware of those stupid shows that don’t have Lilo and I don’t plan on watching them. They don’t exist!

9. Jane (Return to Neverland) and Raya (Raya and the Last Dragon)

Hey, I never said that I wouldn’t have ties on my list. Don’t worry, this will be the only tie on this list. But to keep it organized, I will be talking about each of these characters individually before I talk about why I can’t decide who I love more.

Starting with Jane, she’s a character who isn’t like most Disney heroines that are adventurous and dream of something more. Instead, she’s a young girl who is living during wartime and is just trying to survive and do what she can to take care of her family. She’s the daughter of Wendy from the original Peter Pan but the two couldn’t be more different. Whereas Wendy is a soft-spoken optimist who is full of childlike wonder, Jane is a practical pessimist with a sharp tongue that has become jaded due to her situation. This gives her more of an arc with her story compared to her mother, who is by no means a bad character. This helps her stand out among all the Disney sequel children who tend to share their parents personality traits. I love how they don’t have Jane just be a stick in the mud for no reason. She has an understandable reason for why she is the way that she is and I think people tend to overlook that because she’s so different from the heroines that we’re used to seeing from Disney. She had to grow up fast due to her experiences and she longs for her childhood days when she could believe in things like Peter Pan, Neverland, and pixie dust. However, she knows she has to be strong but she also needs to learn to regain some of her childhood wonder to help get her through the hard times. I honestly love her relationship with Peter Pan. Not only do they have amazing chemistry, but I love how unlike the female characters in the previous movies, who tend to fawn all over him and boost his ego, Jane deflates his ego, helps him mature a bit, and calls out his behavior. I love that even if she’s not as snarky as characters like Megara that Jane is still snarky. But she also has a loving side and can be taken in by the beauty of Neverland when she’s being shown Neverland. I honestly see a lot of myself in Jane and I loved seeing her growth as a character. She’s such a complex character and she’s just a child. She’s the best thing to come out of the Peter Pan franchise. Yes, even better than Tinkerbell and I love how she calls out Tinkerbell as well.

Now we move on to Raya. For those of you who have seen my video about fixing Disney’s adorkable problem, I mentioned that Raya is one of the few heroines of the revival era that doesn’t have an adorkable personality, making her one of the more unique characters of the era. Unlike the bubbly, optimistic, quirky, and over-the-top heroines of the era, Raya is mature, snarky, pessimistic, cheeky, serious, and jaded. This is a character type that is not only unique for this era of Disney but is also a rare type of character from Disney in general. I love that she’s not so optimistic and bubbly but can still be sweet and caring towards the ones she loves. Also, speaking as someone who has trust issues, I do relate to Raya and her journey with her distrust of people. She’s been hurt and when she trusted someone, the world ended up broken because of it. So her trying to save the world isn’t about trying to help the world but to help her kingdom and bring her father back. On the one hand it’s selfless for her to do this for her people but on the other hand, she’s selfish for not caring about the rest of the world but it makes sense because of her experiences and trust issues. I also love how she’s a bit xenophobic but she slowly starts to let down her walls and trust others from different clans. I love characters that are relatable but also have a lesson they have to learn that helps them grow as people and Raya definitely fits the bill. I also love how unlike other heroines, who are great with kids and babies, she was very awkward when interacting with Noi at first. It shows that not everyone is great with kids and it’s something that can be learned. It also shows her growth with how she’s able to let herself have connections with others. But she’s also a badass of a fighter! The woman has moves! But I love that there’s more to her than just her physical strength. I love her snarky and jaded personality and her journey. Plus, it's unique how she's a Disney Princess who wasn't wanting more out of life but rather wanted to the life she used to have back. Not to mention how she was the closed-minded one while her father was the open-minded one. I also love how became one of the few Disney protagonists that are willing to kill. Granted, she didn’t do it but she was willing to kill Namaari during the climax of the movie. But she’s ultimately a good person who comes to the realization that it wasn’t right. She’s a phenomenal and underrated character from a phenomenal and underrated movie. Give us more characters like her and unique personalities, Disney.

As for why I can’t decide between the two, it’s honestly because both of them are pretty similar. Both are snarky, jaded, practical, responsible, and act as the straight man in their respective movies amongst the more chaotic characters they come across. Not to mention, both long for the simpler days when their lives were actually happy but can’t because of how their worlds have shaped them. They have great character growth and their way of thinking is technically wrong but you also understand why they are the way they are. So with how similar they are, I can’t really decide who I love more so I decided not to. The two of them are truly amazing characters and actually break the mold of the heroines we tend to see from Disney and I adore them for that.

8. Tiana (The Princess and the Frog)

Just like Raya, she’s one of the few heroines from the revival era that actually has a unique personality and in my opinion is the best heroine from this era. I love how she’s practical and serious like Jane and Raya but it’s not because she’s jaded. It’s just because she’s determined, ambitious, and a workaholic. But even without her being jaded, there’s also an explanation for why she is the way she is. She has a dream that people say will be impossible for her to achieve due to her being a black woman of low status and a dream her father spent his whole life to achieve but never managed to see happen. She’s worked two jobs her entire life and has to work so much harder than everyone else just to prove herself. But I love that she’s also a bit playful, caring, friendly, does want to have fun but just can’t let herself, and is still creative. Almost There shows off the massive extent of her incredible imagination. I love how passionate she is about her dream and cooking. I adore how she never loses her passion and fire no matter what. I wish I had her drive in life to help make my dreams come true. She inspires me and it kills me that both she and her movie are so underrated when really they deserve to be getting the attention that Frozen got. I honestly can’t wait to see what they do in the new Tiana series and I just pray that they don’t disappoint me. Tiana is truly a great character and it’s a shame more people don’t realize it. Even in her frog form, her personality shines through with her hard-working and witty personality. Not to mention, she has great growth as a character. There’s nothing wrong with pursuing a dream but you shouldn’t let that keep you from also living your life. She’s confident in certain areas but she’s also insecure as well. It helps make her a layered character and one of the most three-dimensional heroines from the revival era. Truly one of Disney’s best leading ladies.

7. Pocahontas (Pocahontas)

First of all, yes, I know that the movie is problematic with its misrepresentation of the real Pocahontas’ life, showing both sides being in the wrong when in real life it was the white settlers who were the only ones in the wrong, and portraying Pocahontas in a romantic relationship with John Smith when she was a child when they met and the fact that he intended to colonize her people. However, I still ADORE the movie! Yes, it has its issues but it also has gorgeous animation, incredible songs, an amazing musical score, an engaging romance, likable and iconic characters, a great message that’s definitely relevant today, and most importantly one of the best protagonists to ever come out of Disney.

Despite the issues Native Americans rightfully have with her movie, one thing, at least from my understanding, that they universally agree on is that in terms of personality, Pocahontas is spot on. So it’s really no wonder that Pocahontas herself is the best thing about the movie. I adore how she’s curious, adventurous, mischievous, fun-loving, playful, and daring. However, she’s also smart and mature. She’s undeniably a remarkable character that deserves nothing but praise. I love how she has a journey of finding her path but isn’t sure what her path is. And I don’t mean like she has to decide between two things but rather she has no idea what her second option is. It’s something a lot of people can relate to who can’t decide what they want to do with their life. So it’s interesting and unique to have a character who doesn’t have a clear idea of what they want but still know they want more than the life that has been planned for them. When you think about it, Pocahontas is a pretty complex character in that sense and it’s one of the reasons I adore her along with her just being a fun and exciting character. One of my favorite scenes is just her going down the water rapids and instead of her just going down the safe path that she goes with the more exciting and fun path because it’s just who she is. I mean, when she’s supposed to just come down to the river and get into the canoe with Nakoma, she could just run down there but instead, she chooses the more daring option of diving off. I wish I had the amount of guts she has. She’s such an exciting character and there’s nothing dull about her. But she also stands up for what is right and will lay her own life down in order to do what needs to be done. She’s such an underrated character that it’s painful to think about. I adore Pocahontas and consider her to be one of the best characters Disney has ever created.

6. Anastasia Tremaine (Cinderella Sequels)

Originally starting off as a minor villain in the original Cinderella, Anastasia has since become one of the most complex and interesting characters to ever come out of Disney. Even people who hate the Disney sequels tend to agree that she’s one of the best things to come out of these cash grabs. She’s so great that even the show Once Upon a Time in Wonderland continued the trend of making her a sympathetic character, with her being played flawlessly by Emma Rigby. But anyway, I adore how she still has some traits from her original appearance with her lacking elegance and grace, being a clutz, being a bit ditzy (But not dumb), and having a bit of a temper to her. It shows that just because someone becomes good, they don’t lose all of their negative traits or become 100% different because that’s not realistic. However, she’s incredibly sympathetic with how she’s a victim of her mother and sister’s abuse but they don’t erase the fact that she was abusive to Cinderella. As they say, hurt people hurt people. People are complex and it’s amazing to see someone who was abusive can also be the abuse victim without erasing past mistakes. But they don’t have Cinderella judge her on the person she used to be but rather the person she is now. In A Twist in Time, we do see her show guilt towards Cinderella. She’s just someone who wanted to be loved and for someone to love her for who she is and not what her mother wanted her to be. Honestly, I wish Disney would explore more characters like Anastasia who aren’t conventionally attractive and can also be complex and interesting. She kind of reminds me of Helga from Hey Arnold. And honestly, while Cinderella herself is still a great an admirable character, I prefer her step-sister. In fact, I might have a video analyzing what a great and complex character Anastasia is in the future (Or even post it here on Tumblr), so keep an eye out for that.

5. Megara (Hercules)

But her friends call her Meg, at least they would if she had any friends. Yeah, you know I had to quote that. Much like Anastasia, Meg didn’t start off as a heroine but rather as a minion to the villain. I honestly went back and forth on whether or not I preferred Anastasia or Megara but I ultimately went with Megara because of her amazing snark. Being someone who is incredibly sarcastic, sassy, and snarky, I relate to characters who are like that as well. She’s honestly the sassiest Disney character ever. Literally no one can match her. Yes, there have been sassy and snarky characters from Disney, a good number of them are even on this list, but none meet the same level of sarcasm as her. She’s one of the most unique Disney heroines with her starting off as a bit of an antagonist, being way more snarky and jaded than Disney’s heroines, and actually having a romantic history instead of just only being in a relationship with one person in your life and that’s the one you end up marrying. A lot of people can relate to Meg and the fact that she gave and gave all her love to someone she was in a relationship with but that person just didn’t love her as much and left her for someone else. She gave so much that she sold her soul to save her boyfriend’s life only for him to dump her for some random girl. No wonder she swore off love and became so jaded. But I love how she learns to love again and sees that it’s not bad to give yourself to someone so long as it’s the right person because just like how Megara gave up her life to save Hercules, he was willing to give his life to gets hers back. While Hercules is a great and engaging character, I find Meg’s journey more engaging. She’s a great character and it’s no wonder that she’s so beloved. Plus, she’s a snarky queen!

4. Angel (Lady and the Tramp II: Scamp's Adventure)

Yeah, can you tell that I have a thing for characters that are snarky and jaded? She reminds me a lot of Megara, albeit, not as extreme due to being a kid and her movie having a different tone to Hercules. It’s no wonder that I love her, especially when her movie is also one of my top 10 favorite Disney movies of all-time. I love how she is very sly and confident but isn’t cocky or arrogant. However, despite her confidence, she also has her insecurities about her wanting a permanent family, since she’s had five families that have taken her in but when she starts to think that this one is for keeps, they move, have a new baby, or have an allergy. So despite her desire for a family, she’s jaded about the world and feels that she can only depend on herself and only sticks around the junkyard dogs because she has no other alternative. I love how even though she’s a major factor in Scamp’s development and is basically the glue that holds this movie together, Scamp helps with her development. He allows her to be brave enough to be vulnerable and to see that you don’t have to only look out for yourself because he looks out for her. The two of them help each other to grow just like a true couple should. Despite their age, their love is to the same level as any adult relationship because they were friends first and then fell in love. Overall, Angel is a phenomenal character that is smart, sassy, jaded, confident, insecure, layered, brave, brutal, sly, caring, kind, tomboyish but still feminine, and just so freaking adorable.

3. Mulan (Mulan)

Yeah, you know that you can’t have a top 10 best Disney heroines list without including her. I mean, what can I even say about her that hasn’t already been said. She’s a perfect character journey. She starts off trying to be the perfect bride and daughter but she just keeps messing it up, has no idea who she is or what she’s meant to be, breaks the rules and risks possible death for herself in order to save her father from certain death by taking his place in the army and disguising herself as a man, starts off terrible at training, gets better by embracing both sides of herself (The masculine and the feminine), and ultimately brings honor and saves the day by being herself. I love how, unlike the modern heroines we get nowadays, they take her journey seriously. Yes, there’s still some comedy with her but they don’t go over-the-top or make her clumsiness her most defining character trait. But her amazing actions aren’t the only great thing about her. I love her realistic clumsiness, awkwardness, wit, cleverness, kindness, caring nature, bravery, courage, creativity, and that she’s funny without having to be over-the-top. She’s far from perfect but that’s why she’s so great. She isn’t strong for just being masculine but also because she’s feminine. She’s flawed but she tries, she’s insecure but that doesn’t stop her, she wanted to save her father and bring honor but she also wanted to prove that she could do things right. And yet, they still made sure she was a likable character with a three-dimensional personality so that we actually care about her journey. I feel like modern Disney could learn a thing or two from Mulan. And the less said about that awful live-action remake or that horrendous direct-to-video sequel MulanII the better. Lets just focus on the original Disney Mulan and how she truly brought honor to us all.

2. Ariel (The Little Mermaid Franchise)

Yeah, you know that I had to include my favorite Disney Princess. Ever since I was a little boy, I’ve always absolutely ADORED Ariel. I relate to her rebellious nature, since I’ve always had a naturally rebellious side to me. She’s playful, mischievous, adventurous, curious, bubbly, determined, sweet, fiery, and a painfully accurate portrayal of adolescence. She’s reckless, naive, impulsive, stubborn, and headstrong. I love how flawed she is because it makes her feel more real and three-dimensional. I honestly love how relatable she is and even as someone in my late twenties, I still relate to Ariel even to this day. I know the feeling of wanting more out of life and wanting to explore beyond the confines of one's current existence. Ariel wants to learn more about the human world and wants to be a part of it because of her love of learning and her fascination with the human world. I adore just how curious and daring she is. When she sees something that interests her, she pursues it and is just so passionate about it. She’s just so engaging. I also love how on land when she’s can’t talk how adorable she is with her facial expressions and actions. She’s just such a delightful character. She sees what she wants and she goes for it and I love her for that. I honestly get so mad when people say she’s just boy-crazy and threw her life away for a man. Did people not watch the movie? She sang a whole mother-flipping song about how she wanted to be part of the human world long before she ever saw Eric. He was just what finally got things going. Besides, there’s nothing wrong with wanting romance because that’s not all she wants. She wants to explore the world and learn. The live-action remake actually made the character even better and considering how much I love the character, that’s saying something. And yeah, the live-action remake is amazing and the best of the live-action remakes (Which I have a video all about on YouTube). This little mermaid is the best Disney Princess and one of my favorite fictional characters of all-time.

Honorable mentions:

Now before I name my number 1 favorite, lets name some honorable mentions. Keep in mind that these aren’t in any particular order. Madellaine from The Hunchback of Notre Dame II, Esmeralda from The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Alice from Alice in Wonderland, Judy Hopps from Zootopia, Elsa from the Frozen franchise, Jasmine from the Aladdin franchise, Belle from Beauty and the Beast, Jane from Tarzan, Violet from The Incredibles franchise, Jessie from the Toy Story franchise, Kiara from The Lion King 2: Simba’s Pride, Dory from the Finding Nemo franchise, Vanellope from Wreck-It Ralph, Miss Bianca The Rescuers franchise, and Rapunzel from Tangled.

Melody (The Little Mermaid II: Return to the Sea)

I mean, is anyone surprised? I’ve already mentioned that she’s tied with Jack Frost from Rise of the Guardians as my favorite fictional character of all-time. I absolutely ADORE her! Much like how her mother is an accurate depiction of teenage struggles, Melody is an accurate representation of preteen struggles. She’s awkward around her peers, she’s doesn’t know how to act around people, she’s shy around boys, she feels like a fish out of water (No pun intended), she’s unsure of herself, has a hard time communicating with her parents, and doesn’t make the best decisions. These are all part of growing up and they captured that flawlessly with her. She has the same traits as her mother but she also has her differences that make her feel like her own unique character. Unlike her mother, who is extroverted and confident, Melody is introverted and self-conscious, which makes her feel more relatable to me. I love how they can make her very awkward without having to make it her most defining character trait like with the Disney heroines of the Revival era. She only feels comfortable in her skin when she’s out swimming and she’s told that she can’t go out into the ocean. That’s something many of us can relate to with how we’re comfortable living a certain lifestyle, doing something we love, or being true to ourselves only to be told we can’t for whatever reason. Being a naturally rebellious person with interests that aren’t traditionally masculine, I definitely relate to that. Plus, being someone who always wanted to be a merman, I also have a massive love for the ocean and Melody’s explosive passion and undying love for the sea is just so engaging. But I also love how she also has a lesson to learn, which gives her more of an arc than her mother, though to be fair, Ariel didn’t really need to learn a lesson, King Triton did. But I still love how Melody had to learn her own self-worth and apologized for causing this mess. And instead of choosing between land or sea, she chooses both by breaking down the wall that divided them. She is the bridge that connects the two worlds together. She’s just such an engaging character. Every time I see her on screen, she's just so charming and entertaining. I love her passion, awkwardness, curiosity, mischievousness, playfulness, sweetness, cunning, and just everything about her. Maybe one of these days I’ll make a video all about how mermazing she is. She certainly is a remarkable character that is more than deserving of it.

And those are my top 10 favorite Disney heroines. Are any of my favorites your favorites? Who are your favorites? Let me know. Please like, comment, reblog, and follow me if you haven't already.

[daydream-cement]

Silly Questions About Gwen’s Characters Pt. 1

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10

This was a team effort between @bri-sonat and I (of course with help from the wonderful babies in the gc @na-shoba, @booitsrue, @funky--lesbian, and @margot-the-lesbian-god). He will be posting the next part! We will go back and forth with these fun little questions.

If they were an animal, what would they be? What is the first thing they’d do when they learn they’re an animal?

Brienne: Dragon, maybe? A force of nature to be reckoned with in human form and animal form. She’d fly around Westeros, looking out over the mountain tops, enjoying the freedom. Maybe take a little stop in Dorne, who knows.

Larissa: A cat. Larissa would appreciate a day where she could wander around Nevermore unnoticed or greeted happily by her students. Most likely she would nap in a window somewhere and forget about work for a bit.

Lucifer: A snake because uhm duh?? Snake :)

Phasma: A Sarlac or an Exogorth. Two foul ass monsters who feasts on human flesh, just like Phasma for real, except she doesn’t feast on human flesh, she just burns and cuts it instead.

Miranda: She’d be a cat, because she’s all “look how small, and their little whiskers and their little paws” and that’s so Miranda core, she is a cat. She’d be off on the adventure of her life, or she’d take a cat nap.

Do they pick wildflowers?

Brienne: Yes. Lovestruck Brienne would do anything to see her partner smile, and that includes picking small wildflowers with the edge of her very big sword.

Larissa: She has been known to pick a wildflower or two on her walks between meetings. Some days it's always nice to have a vase of pretty wildflowers on your desk, right?

Lucifer: Kills wild flowers to make God upset

Phasma: What wildflowers? That thing is blasted, burnt, charred in a single laser shot. Hates the sentiment of giving flowers as a gift of any kind, saying “flowers are for weak people who need to give plants to express love.” And then she’ll scoff.

Miranda: ABSOLUTELY, softest girlfriend ever. If her partner tells her she likes a type of wildflower ONCE, you bet your ass she’d have a full on bouquet the next time she sees them.

How do they like their eggs? (Fried, poached, soft-boiled, etc.)

Brienne: Miss Girl needs her protein for those MUSCLES, so she’ll just eat them however they are presented. Easiest way is a hard-boiled egg, but if she’s feeling a little bit fancy she’ll fry one.

Larissa: Poached fs. Over toast. It makes a fabulous breakfast and is simple enough to make. She doesn’t really like to cook so this meal works perfectly for her culinary abilities.

Lucifer: Perfectly over easy- like plastic-looking over easy eggs fr.

Phasma: Our Captain enjoys things the classical way, the old-school way, so she prefers a soft-boiled egg, and if it isn’t to her liking (aka the exact way she wants it), she’ll throw a fit. “Shoot someone just for fun” fit.

Miranda: LOVES scrambled eggs. Adds a little cream in there just to spice things up a little and thinks she’s so crazy for doing so.

How do they see themselves in their head, and how is that image wrong?

Brienne: Well, where do we start with this one? Miss Ma’am has been told her entire life that she is ugly, unconventional, unattractive, a monster, a beast. She’s been mocked, humiliated, made fun of, etc etc. She thinks that she is “the ugliest girl alive” and she fully believes that. BUT SHE’S WRONG, CAUSE SHE’S SO SEXY AND HOT AND BEAUTIFUL AND GORGEOUS and all those things, but she can’t understand that because she has been told so many times that she’s not. But she’s wrong and people are dumb, and blind, and morons.

Larissa: She thinks of herself in a professional capacity more than anything, but ‘image is everything’ as she would say. She would consider herself attractive, but nothing more than that. Compliments that refer to her as anything more are usually met with a roll of the eyes.

Lucifer: Gods ex fav, self conscious about it, but knows they’re hot shit and are v sexy.

Phasma: Power does a lot to a person's confidence. Captain Girl knows that she’s hot, attractive, powerful and deadly. Knows that she’s the baddest bitch around and IT SHOWS!

Miranda: We all know what the deal is with Mirandy Baby. She’s treated like crap by her co-workers and even by her so-called “friend”, and with all those negative comments about her makes her doubt herself and her abilities, even if she tries her best to not internalize. For her looks, she would not call herself attractive, which is where the aspect of male validation comes into the picture. However, positive affirmations from others go a long way for her, ESPECIALLY if she finds them attractive herself.

If they talked in their sleep, what weird jumble of words would come out?

Brienne: Something really boring and honorable. Something around the lines of maybe “my sword is my vessel”, or something that makes no sense whatsoever, “I turned and then I was gone?” You just know her dreams are nuts.

Larissa: Something work related. Something about “I forgot the email”/“I’m late”, or something about a certain misbehaving student “Oh, god, what have you done?”. She doesn’t talk much in her sleep, however.

Lucifer: “You shouldn’t have done that” “I hate you” “God can’t save you” but like mumbled and sleepy so it’s more cute than scary.

Phasma: Phasma does not talk in her sleep, her stormtrooper training regiment made her become comfortable with sleeping on her back, and absolutely no sleep-talking or snoring. They got it rough over at the First Order, for real.

Miranda: Something really out of pocket. I’m thinking of that sleep walking scene in “Step Brothers”. I.e. “I'll kill you, Leonard Nimoy.”

(For good guys) If they were a villain, what would their evil dark lord name be?

Brienne: Probably a spin on her swords’ name, “Slayer of Oaths” or something that has to do with her mockful nickname, “Brienne the Beast” or “Merciless Brienne”. I don’t know, I can just see her killing everyone with no remorse if she were to be a villain.

Larissa: The Headmistress. She would be the hottest super villain. Holy Shit.

Lucifer: “Cute.” - Lucifer to this question.

Phasma: ….Captain Phasma

Miranda: This sweet bundle of joy couldn’t hurt a soul. With that said, she’d be a righteous and justice focused one. Only killing those that deserved to be killed. Earning her the evil dark lord name of “Angel of Judgement” cause she’s an angel of DEATH AND JUDGMENT.

Muffins or cupcakes? Explain

Brienne: Miss Gurl doesn’t even know what a baked good is. She had to make due with some dry ass bread made from water and flour during her time. HOWEVER, if she were to live in modern days, she’d love a gooey muffin.

Larissa: Ms. Sweet-tooth? She will take a cupcake of course. Larissa: “There is a proper way to eat these, you know?” She then proceeds to take the bottom off the cupcake and make herself a little cupcake sandwich.

Lucifer: Muffins. The frosting is too messy for them, they’re like: “dude what I can’t eat the frosting in one bite without this getting actually everywhere on my robe sleeves.”

Phasma: “Sugar is not in my strict diet, I must stay on top at all times. I can not allow myself a ‘cheat day’, as you call it”

Miranda: Cupcake, duh. BUT THE MINI ONES. bc she can just eat them in one bite like a giant!!!

Do they prefer arm day or leg day?

Brienne: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh, we all know. She needs some big guns to hold that heavy and large sword of hers, so arm day all the way BABY. Also, for Brienne, arm day and shoulder day is every single day with the metal she’s carrying around, yeesh.

Larissa: Neither of these options are suitable. If you let her pick, she will choose cardio.

Lucifer: Leg day in stilettos

Phasma: You just know she has the most defined legs ever seen in the history of mankind and she loves maintaining them. Despite this she’s more of a shoulder-back day kinda gal, wanting to keep that back refined as hell, looking like a marble statue of a greek goddess.

Miranda: She has once chanted “Leg Day!” over and over again when Robin agreed to hit the gym with her once. Robin didn’t join her again, but her enthusiasm for leg day remains.

What is the longest they’ve ever slept in?

Brienne: 7 am. And when she did all hell broke loose. Panicking about how she’d slept for far too long, when she was actually on bedrest for getting harmed in battle and was told to sleep for as long as she needed.

Larissa: 10am. It was when she had the flu, but she did fall asleep around 9pm so she was impressed with herself. Otherwise she gives herself until 8am to get up in the summertime.

Lucifer: What’s sleep?

Phasma: What’s sleeping in? You know that she’s up and at ‘em hours before the space cock sings the song of its people. She has never overslept a day in her First Order life and will wake up at 5 am sharp every single morning.

Miranda: Miranda has slept multiple days in a row. After a 12+ hour shift, she can sleep forever and not bat an eye. But once she is well rested, she is go, go, go. There’s no stopping her.

They’re on their way to the hospital when they hit a parked car. They can’t stop, and don’t have paper for a note. They drive away without telling anyone what happened. How do they ease their conscience?

Brienne: By finding that person in some way, apologize a hundred times and ask if she can be of help in any way to repay the damages. But, if requested, will pull out her coin pouch and flex her wealth. Or, they’d see that she was a tall, strong and lean Lord Commander and not dare demand anything, shaking in their little boots and saying how it’s okay and that there is no need to pay them back.

Larissa: She will make an effort to find the person, but if the car looks banged up already…. She may shrug and not stress about it too much, especially if no one will notice. 

Lucifer: Have the person who’s car got hit killed by some horrible accident so that way they aren’t responsible for the minor accident because of the major accident overshadowing it 😋

Phasma: Conscience? What conscience? Nah, Phasma is a gaslighter all the way. “I didn’t hit your vehicle, you hit mine” *points blaster at them* “now give me the money to repair it”

Miranda: Takes a thousand pictures and calls a friend/coworker to find the car and exchange information. She will not allow her ‘crime’ to go unpunished. She must right her wrong otherwise she will be unable to sleep at night.

[chickensaladquinn]

Chicken Salad Quinn Pt. 10: Happy Birthday

Other Parts: Pt. 1 Pt. 2 Pt. 3 Pt. 4 Pt. 5 Pt. 6 Pt. 7 Pt. 8 Pt. 9

a/n: It's officially been one year of Chicken Salad Quinn! To celebrate, I thought I'd write a birthday post. I know Quinn's birthday isn't until October, but oh well :3 think of this as a flashback to his last birthday!

Quinn woke up on his birthday with a heavy heart. It seemed like any other day; the sun rose in the sky, the birds chirped outside his window, but something was missing. As he scrolled through his phone, he couldn't help but notice that no one had mentioned his birthday. Not even mommy or his girlfriend, Y/N.

Feeling a pang of sadness, Quinn tried to shake off the feeling as he got ready for the day. Maybe they were just waiting to surprise him later, he thought optimistically.

But as the day wore on, Quinn's hope began to fade. Mommy didn't wish him a happy birthday when he saw her for breakfast, and Y/N hadn't mentioned anything either. It seemed like everyone had forgotten.

By the time evening rolled around, Quinn couldn't ignore the sinking feeling in his chest any longer. He decided to go for a walk to clear his head, trying to convince himself that it didn't matter.

As he wandered through the streets, lost in thought, Quinn was startled by a familiar voice calling out his name. It was his brother, Jack, waving frantically from across the street.

"Quinn! Over here!" Jack shouted, beckoning him to come closer.

Confused but intrigued, Quinn crossed the street to where Jack stood, a mischievous grin on his face.

"Hey, Jack, what's going on?" Quinn asked, trying to mask the disappointment in his voice.

Jack chuckled. "Come on, follow me. Luke's waiting for us."

Quinn followed Jack to a nearby park where Luke was waiting, a large grin plastered on his face.

"Happy birthday, Quinn!" Luke exclaimed, pulling Quinn into a tight hug.

Quinn's eyes widened in surprise. "Wait, you guys remembered?"

"Of course, we did!" Jack said, clapping Quinn on the back. "And we've got a surprise for you."

Together, the three brothers walked to Quinn's house, where they found the door adorned with balloons and streamers. As they stepped inside, Quinn was greeted by the sight of his mom, Y/N, and a group of friends all gathered in the living room, shouting, "Surprise!"

Tears welled up in Quinn's eyes as he took in the scene before him. Mommy rushed forward to give him a hug, followed by Y/N, who held out a small gift wrapped in colorful paper.

"Happy birthday, Quinn," Y/N said, smiling warmly.

Overwhelmed with emotion, Quinn hugged Y/N tightly, feeling grateful for her and everyone else who had taken the time to make his birthday special.

But the surprises didn't end there. As everyone gathered around the table for cake, Mommy presented him with a homemade birthday cake unlike any he had ever seen. It was made entirely of chicken salad, his favorite dish.

Quinn couldn't help but laugh at the sight of the unconventional cake, feeling incredibly loved and appreciated in that moment. As he blew out the candles, surrounded by his family and friends, Quinn knew that even though the day had started off on a sour note, it had turned into one of the best birthdays he had ever had.

[strid3rboy]

i was planning to wait until the end of stridercestweek to say shit but all it took was a prompt i didnt wanna do for me to burry that idea. anyway

this blog is extremely and entirely gross, age gaps are gross and pedophilia is gross, even fictional, and thats what drives people to that kind of fiction obviously, they get to be gross little squeaky teenagers in their bedroom blasting "I Ship It" screaming twincest can't really be that bad

but as much as i enjoy some ships, and as far as i wanna go to support my friends who engage in the "proshipper activities" i can't say im not.. disgusted with myself? like seriously. i thought i was above it, above the feeling of being uncomfortable. And that was my mistake, youre never above anything, youre a child who wants to feel above emotions to be different and or respected.

I always secretly enjoyed unconventional ships, i kept it to myself like the "am i gay" quizzes i took and the multiple searches of boys kissing boys on my old tablet. It was secret, something to be enjoyed when by myself outside of others judgement or acknowledgement of its existence. occasionally i would find a piece of art or writting that was so disgusting even i couldn't keep it down, in those cases i scrolled past and pretended my facade hadnt just been questioned. But the disgust i feel is only getting stronger and is now accompanied byy.. shame guilt and. puking.

the moral compass in my brain is telling me to stop this bullshit and the part of me that cares for MY wellbeing agrees because. honestly. its making me feel more bad than good these days. i see drawings of bro strider and i gag. do you know how embarrassing that is? to be so disgusted with pixels on a screen that you slip into a panic attack?

i thought shipping and letting myself ship was a healthy coping mechanism to the shit i endured as a 10 year old ( THX Xavier ) i thought that looking at the things that happened to me, but from an outside perspective, and in control of it, was making me feel better but it didn't or no longer does i guess.

outside of how it makes me feel uncomfortable, theres also the social aspect of it which. is basically the constant fear that my friends and family will find out about this disgusting shit i do and cut me off their lives. im under constant stress that SOMEONE SOMEWHERE will recognize SOMETHING i do and call me out and ill be helpless to defend myself because by then im deemed a creepy monster. i dont think i am one i dont want to BE one. im a teenager for christs sake i just enjoy strilondes from time to time.

yea all that weird monologuing i did just now like i was doing some amazing reveal is to say that. im not really sure if i wanna continue with this account. i know i like drawing this stuff, and i know i like interacting with my friends who draw this stuff. and its the only reason i even write fanfiction, but i need to step back a bit from it if i want to be healthy about it. and i probably need to block the bro strider tag.

[goofballondus]

Inspired by Arthur Aron's 36 Questions.

Here are some questions that are designed to push individuals gently past their internalized norms, inviting them to share experiences and thoughts they wouldn’t typically discuss due to the existing paradigm of thought. These questions aim to yield the byproduct of deeper self-disclosure and reflection on aspects of their lives that are usually suppressed or hidden:

Tier 1: Subtle Paradigm Shift

1. When was the last time you disagreed with yourself on something you’ve believed for a long time? How did that feel?

2. What’s something you’ve always wondered about your own personality but have never asked anyone for fear of how they might respond?

3. If you could express a thought you often have, but feel is too unconventional to share, what would it be?

4. What is something about yourself that you feel society doesn’t allow you to openly discuss, but is an important part of who you are?

5. What’s a question you’ve always hoped someone would ask you, but they never do, because it doesn’t fit with typical conversations?

Tier 2: Boundary-Pushing Reflection

6. Can you think of a belief or value you were raised with that no longer serves you, but you still struggle to let go of?

7. If you could describe one part of your inner world that you feel would shock or surprise others, what would it be?

8. What’s a moment where you acted entirely outside of your usual character, and what do you think brought it out of you?

9. What’s an idea or concept that you feel deeply connected to, but have never found the right space to explore with others?

10. What’s an assumption people tend to make about you that doesn’t align with who you truly are?

Tier 3: Challenging the Paradigm

11. Have you ever found yourself living a life that felt like it belonged to someone else? What did you realize in that moment?

12. What’s something you wish you could unlearn because it limits the way you experience life?

13. What is a societal norm or expectation you feel disconnected from, but still find yourself complying with? Why do you think that is?

14. What’s an experience you’ve had that made you question whether reality, as you understand it, is actually as it seems?

15. Can you remember a moment when you realized you didn’t need to meet anyone’s expectations anymore, and how that changed your perception of yourself?

Tier 4: Paradigm Disruption

16. What’s a part of your story that doesn’t fit into the typical narrative of success or happiness, but has shaped you in profound ways?

17. When was the last time you censored yourself in a conversation, not because of the other person, but because you felt the topic was too risky for your own comfort?

18. If you could speak directly to a part of yourself that you’ve hidden away because it doesn’t align with the expectations of others, what would you say to it?

19. What’s a belief or perspective you hold about your own existence that you feel would be hard for others to understand?

20. What’s a memory or experience that fundamentally shifted the way you see the world, but you rarely discuss because it challenges conventional thinking?

Tier 5: Paradigm Breakthrough

21. Have you ever had a moment of sudden clarity that made you realize everything you thought you knew was only a small piece of a much larger truth? How did you handle that realization?

22. If you could completely strip away every expectation placed on you by society, what would be left, and who would you become?

23. Have you ever explored an idea or theory in private that you’re hesitant to share publicly because it’s too far outside the norm? What was it?

24. What’s a moment where you were confronted with something you couldn’t explain within the framework of your existing beliefs?

25. What’s a thought or experience that you have kept to yourself for fear it would alienate you from those around you?

Tier 6: Beyond the Paradigm

26. What’s something you’ve come to believe that you think would be completely misunderstood or dismissed by most people?

27. Have you ever been in a situation where you felt like the societal script you were given didn’t apply to you, but you didn’t know how to step outside of it?

28. If you could communicate with a past version of yourself that was deeply embedded in a specific way of thinking, what would you tell them now?

29. What’s a feeling or experience you’ve had that feels like it doesn’t quite belong to the ordinary world, yet it’s shaped your entire life in some way?

30. If you had the chance to step outside the boundaries of your current paradigm for a day, what new experiences or perspectives do you think you would encounter?

31. What’s an internal conflict you’ve faced where you felt torn between your authentic self and the persona you show the world?

32. Have you ever had an experience or moment that felt like it belonged to a different reality, something you can't explain through conventional means?

33. What’s a decision you’ve made that most people wouldn’t understand, but you knew it was necessary for your own growth?

34. If you could let go of the need for external validation completely, what would you do or say differently in your daily life?

35. What’s an aspect of yourself or your life that you’ve hidden because it doesn’t align with the version of yourself that you feel others expect?

36. Have you ever questioned whether the life you’re living is the result of your own choices, or choices you felt you had to make to fit into a larger system?

These questions are designed to gently and progressively guide participants into challenging the societal and personal paradigms that limit their self-expression. They allow people to reflect on experiences, beliefs, and ideas that they may have never shared due to cultural or internalized expectations, fostering deeper conversations that break through these limitations.

- Produced by UAB (me) and Eldris (My AI)

[jonnysinsectcatalogue]

Insectopedia, by Hugh Raffles

Do not judge this book by its cover! Despite what the name would suggest, this is not a comprehensive encyclopedic volume that encompasses insect knowledge related to matters like species, classification, diets, orders and general factoids. No, no, this is a different branch in the world of insect exploration. The passages, stories and analysis of 'Insectopedia' are more philosophical, anthropological (based on human society and culture) rather than locked into a box of science and research (though they do play a big part of this book). Compared to the previous literature showcase, 'Sting of the Wild', this book is far more unconventional and explores a wider range of topics, but having read it twice now, I think it offers something that very few other works can. It's one thing to outline insect facts, research, discoveries and their place in the world; it's another thing entirely to examine how insects impact the world & humanity, how humanity impacts insects, how cultures, traditions and ideas can be shaped through our hexapod friends. This book embraces the eclectic and shares it as a multitude of essays and stories that truly highlight how curiosity and fascination can develop into passions, discoveries, introspections, livelihoods and in some cases, obsessions. This collection of musings and insight is also reinforced by a citation heavy note section and bibliography and countless anecdotes across 26 chapters (named alphabetically).

In a sense, it resonates like a collection of short stories or a scientific journal publishing with a great scope of content and findings to comb through. My personal favorite chapters are the ones on 'Languages' (see Picture 5) and the 'O' chapter (not pictured), which deserves to be experienced fresh. All I'll leave you with is the name of that chapter, 'On January 8, 2008, Abdou Mahamane Was Driving through Niamey...". Both are among the longest chapters this work has to offer, but there are many more bite-sized chapters that offer stories that are short and sweet. There's little to no connectivity between each chapter and though the material may bounce back and forth wildly and some chapters barely reference insects (though nature is still an important focus), reading earlier chapters will likely reinforce appreciation for the subject material in the later sections. All that said, I think this book would be best recommended for those entering high school or university and to those who like their material dry and matter-of-fact, but also engaging (somewhat like a passionate lecture). Once again, the subject matter is the onus for a small age-gate or maturity-gate for this book, but it is a small gate. In particular, chapters C, J, Q and S are intended for more mature readers, but if you can understand and handle the subject matter, great knowledge will be your reward (for example, Chapter 'C' is 'Chernobyl', featuring a woman who examines radiation-induced insect deformities).

I know I've been somewhat vague on the exact information that can be gleamed from Insectopedia, but this is a deliberate choice. The material in this book should be read with an open mind and there shouldn't be any spoiled surprises for the journeys and insights discussed from cover to cover. If you seek examples for the type of material this book has to offer, Pictures 3-9 offer the tiniest gate to sample what Insectopedia can offer (and as prefaced at the beginning of the book, "The minuscule, a narrow gate, opens up an entire world" - Gaston Bachelard). You will not find identification guides in it nor will you find ways to distinguish one insect order from another, but it may grant some enlightenment or stir passion, discussion or a curiosity to further explore the ideas presented within and how they've evolved since the book's publishing in 2010. This may provide a great starting point for any students in need of a thesis topic! I suppose Picture 10 (presented by the Knight and a glow-in-the-dark Caterpillar) summarizes it far better than I could. I may have expected something more conventional in the beginning, I am definitely recommending this book and I'll be reading it again after I explore some of the papers within the bibliography. For me, this was the surprise of the year, and while there are times where I think it may be to eclectic (nearing "all over the place"), I was exposed to many new areas of study and I appreciate the stories and points of view I would never have heard had I stuck to only the usual material.

For additional insect literature, you may visit the Blog Resources page.

[allfoolsinluv]

In 2022, I read an ungodly amount of fanfic haha. Not only has it been my favorite way to escape from real life, but it also brought me into the orbit of some really cool people, and I'm glad I got to spend part of my year joining this neat little community 🥰 I thought it would be fun to put together a list of some of my favorite fics from this year! This is by no means a completely comprehensive list, but if you'd like to see all of the fics I've read & loved this year, you can check out my full fic rec tag! So, without further ado, here are some of my favorite fics of 2022 😄

SERIES

Lie to Me by @iamskyereads

Ahhh such a good fic! I live for Javier & his human lie detector. They have such amazing chemistry together and I love them as a couple, but I also adore how interesting and well-written they both are as individuals. I love reading about them when they're together, but I also love seeing their lives/work when they're not. Also, the political & bureaucratic drama is so entertaining! I love it. Everything about this fic is *chef's kiss* 10/10

The Crush by @the-ginger-hedge-witch

Ok I am, admittedly, a bit behind on this fic (thx life 🙃), but it is not an exaggeration when I say that I think about this fic all the time. Javi & Isa have occupied their own little part of my brain since part 1. This fic is beautifully crafted and I love how well all of the elements come together in this story. The "forbidden" love, the small-town dynamics, the strained family relationships... ugh, this fic really has everything. I can't wait to catch up on it!

Learning to Live by @wheresarizona

JAVI & CIELITO MY BELOVEDS. Omg these two just melt my heart. I love their love!! It's so nice to see Javi getting the happy, love-filled life he deserves post-Colombia. These two were meant for each other and I have a dopey smile on my face every time I read about them 🥰

Irredeemable by @joels6string

Oh my god the emotional ROLLERCOASTER this series has put me through... so worth it lol. This fic is so well-written, I love it so much. The plot is incredible--truly an unconventional love story, but one I found myself quickly hooked into because of the characters. Dieter & Poppy really are the shining stars of this fic. They're real and raw and flawed and imperfect but that's what makes them so good. I love them & I love this fic

Everything and More by @dincrypt

The way this fic makes me want to quit my job & find myself a rich sugar daddy LOL. Just kidding (mostly 😉). Ugh I love this fic so much. The evolution of Din & Sweetheart's relationship is my favorite part of it. It flows so naturally and feels so realistic. I am a sucker for the pain of "idiots in love who don't realize the other person is also in love with them" and boy does this fic DELIVER on that lol. Din & Sweetheart are forever on my mind and I can't wait to see how their relationship progresses next!

Sunshine On a Cloudy Day by @pedrito-friskito

Oh my Frankie 🥺 This fic melted me into a PUDDLE. Such a sweet love story. I love how they progress from friends to lovers. How she stood firm in her decision to not be with Frankie if he wasn't going to be clean. How he worked on himself & got clean because he knew she'd be worth it. And seeing them grow their little family 😭 I love them I love them I love them

Funny Girl by @radiowallet

I cannot mention Cat in this list without absolutely gushing over how much I adore her prose. The way she writes is so beautiful and so elegant without falling into purple prose. I feel like I'm gliding every time I read something of hers, and Funny Girl was no exception. I loved this fic with my whole entire heart. The build-up to Dieter & Funny Girl getting together was intense but so worth it. Their characterizations were phenomenal. The ending was so bittersweet, I still think about it months later. Truly one of my favorite--and one of the best, honestly--fics I have ever read.

GOOD. THINGS. TAKE. TIME. by @oonajaeadira

I know the original GTTT was posted last year, but I discovered it in March or April (I can't remember lol) of this year and absolutely devoured it. I love how Adira has taken such a small character from one episode of a TV show and turned him into a compelling & complex one. PATS from Calls no longer exists to me, there is only PATS from GTTT lol. I love the progression of his & Preciosa's relationship throughout this series. It feels so real and I just love how they've grown into their relationship over time.

Celestial Navigation by @write-and-buried

Oh how I absolutely adored this series. I'm a sucker for coffee shop AUs, soulmates, and Dieter Bravo, so this fic really had everything for me 😌 I loved the opposites attract feel of this fic, and how in the end it turned out that they really weren't all that different after all. I love how supportive Dieter was of her and how he really gave her the space to grow into her own. And how he wasn't pushy with her when it came to their relationship, he let her guide the pace and come to him naturally. Literally perfect for each other, these two 🥺😭

Locked Down by @something-tofightfor

Another fic that I am a little behind on but holds a dear place in my heart 💗 I just adore these two. I love how their relationship blossomed from friends to lovers to actually being together. I love how he waited for her to be ready to admit that their relationship would work, even if they were apart. How thoughtful Dieter is in this fic makes me swoon. THE RING gets me every time I think about it 🥺

Love Triangles by @littlemisspascal

Oh my GOD this was one of the cutest fics I have ever read! I loved the atmosphere of this fic, and I thought it was so creative how the cast of The Bubble were all tenants in the same apartment building. The Disney nicknames were so adorable 🥺😭 I loved the slow burn of this fic--it made Dieter & Lady finally getting together that much sweeter 💗

Click here for part 2, a list of some of my favorite one-shots that I read in 2022!

[no-where-new-hero]

author ask game: 7, 10, and 21!

Thank you for these asks, @batrachised!!! Very thought provoking :)

7. Which part of writing do you struggle with most?

I chronically suffer from something I like to term One-Act syndrome: when I get an idea that I know has legs, I can write one act—the first act—fairly easily. Introducing characters, establishing setting, dropping in the initial conflict or the inciting incident—easy. But at the part where the second act should begin—hinging on a plot twist or a change in location or shifting the pace, basically the thing that deepens or layers on Act 1—I hit a HUGE roadblock. It happened with “A Dream of the Woodland” after the Valancy proposal scene, and it’s happening currently with “and a liar,” as I move from “enemies to lovers” to “friends to lovers” and need to find a way to make that transition. That’s why I know I need to become a better outliner, just so that the hinge/twist is smoother (I always fear my writing awkwardness will translate into story awkwardness). For that reason, I prefer writing things with unconventional structures, just to trick my brain out of holding sacred the three-act format or the ten-part story beat format.

10. Do you enjoy writing dialogue, exposition, or plot the most?

Exposition!! I love that shit!! I could literally go on for pages just narrating what’s happening in a character’s head or describing the sensory impact of a scene. I don’t think I’m very good at dialogue—beyond the hardship of just making characters’ voices distinct, I feel like a lot of my conversations come across as rather unnatural. And I’m not entirely sure what “writing plot” is except for moving from one beat to the next—but even while I’m doing that, I’m expositing a crap ton, so it kind of goes hand in hand for me.

21. What is the one fic that got away?

Oof, I’m not really sure if I have one! Potentially the LMM broody male character crossover? I’m still trying to figure out how to make that work. Part of me wants to stay more or less in a canonical timeline, meaning that Dean would be in his mid-40s when he meets the college-aged Walter and the twenty-something Bernard Redfern—but it’s obviously more interesting if they were all the same age. But I feel so sure that if I were to write this, I’d get everyone “wrong.” I wouldn’t even really know what kind of plot to frame it in. So I guess it hasn’t exactly gotten away, but it’s certainly trying to make a bolt for it.

[cto10121]

Choose violence ask game: 1, 9, 10, and 22 for "Romeo and Juliet"

1. the character everyone gets wrong

Hmm, good question. My first impulse is to say R&J themselves, Romeo in particular, as their (actually complicated) personalities and characters get frequently misinterpreted. But as I’ve already discussed this frequently in my blog, I’ll opt for an unconventional answer: Mercutio himself.

Not in terms of getting his personality wrong (although I’ve seen plenty of angrymacho!Mercutio, childish!Mercutio, and even woobie!Mercutio, curiously enough), but in terms of adaptations taking Mercutio’s POV and opinions and attitude as gospel. Mercutio is portrayed as a guy who not only talks shit but makes up shit as he goes along (re: Tybalt being a poseur duelist and Benvolio having a ~secret hotheaded side). You’re not supposed to take him seriously but enjoy his trash talk for what it is—premier trolling.

Instead adaptations and fanfics accept his POV unquestionably and even accept it as canon (Baz Lurhmann movie introducing him as the Prince of Cats, Benvolio getting portrayed as a macho asshole, etc.). And of course, that’s where most of the Romeo-is-effeminate clownery comes from, even though Mercutio himself doesn’t think this (only that he has gotten pussified by ~love) and canon blatantly contradicts this.

9. worst part of canon

Tough one. Shakespeare’s canon is almost flawless. I guess making Rosaline a Capulet could be considered a plot hole. He did it so that Romeo has the push he needs to go to the party…but technically he could have made Rosaline just a random invitee rather than a Capulet. And Capulet turned out to be very chill with non-Capulet invitees anyway. So yeah, I don’t mind adaptations that make Rosaline into a Montague or a non-related Capulet. This does show Shakespeare’s lack of fucks about the feud beautifully, though.

10. worst part of fanon

I don’t think that this counts as fanon, per se, but I once peeked at some (hopefully non-school mandated) fanfics in AO3 and got a strong whiff of not one, not two, but several Juliet-is-cool-BFFs-with-Bencutio-while-latter-constantly-makes-fun-of-whiny-woobie-Romeo. Oh, God, you guys are killing me. Also, the Macho Action Hero/Strong Female Character(tm) Juliet, but that is part-and-parcel with the overall clownery.

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

…People are still sleeping on Juliet’s likening Romeo to a little bird she’d like to tie in a silken thread to pluck around as she pleases and Romeo 110% replying with “I would I were your bird,” huh? You guys really do like your innocently chaste kawaii R&Js. Admit it, these kids are freaks!!!

Nah, just kidding. Well, this is not something everyone ignores as much as miss entirely…but there’s Romeo’s “Let’s talk” when he decides to stay with Juliet after all after their wedding night. The antis always whine about how R&J are just lustful fiends and they are not ~really in love, and this small, almost throwaway line completely disproves it. Romeo decides to stay and his first suggestion about what he and Juliet should do…is to talk. Because he likes talking to Juliet and most likely they did speak through some of the night. Because he clearly wants to know everything about Juliet. Because their love so far has been just that—words—so of course their default is to talk.

[reigningqueenofwords]

Hell

Read on AO3

Final Part of Father Dearest

“Hell. With Crowley.” Your eyes looked between the three men. “I’m sorry, Dean.” You said quietly.

Crowley gave you a small smile. “I promise you won’t regret this, love. You and the children will want for nothing.” You smiled back at him.

“I’ll support you.” Dean told you. You could tell he was upset, but he had promised you that much. “You and the twins always have a place here, you know that.” He added.

“Thank you, Dean.” You replied. “And it’s not like you’ll never see us. I mean, I’m going to want to visit. Whenever you’re at the bunker, I’ll make a point to visit for a day or something.” You shrugged. “The children deserve a chance to have their parents together, as unconventional as everything has been. And I believe they will be safest there.” You pointed out. “No hunter would ever look at them and not want to harm them, you know that.”

Dean nodded. “We’ll miss you.”

“We will.” Sam agreed.

You gave them a playful smirk. “Admit it, you’re looking forward to getting sleep.” You teased, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

-5 years old-

“Stop it, Clark!” You heard your daughter yell from the throne room.

“Make me!” He snapped back.

Rolling your eyes, you wandered over to them. “Now, what’s wrong this time?” You looked between your two children, arms crossed over your chest.

Lana looked at you, clearly upset. “He says that I’m not his real sister because I don’t have cool powers like his.”

You raised an eyebrow at them. “Really? You’re arguing over your powers?” You asked. “Clark, just because your sister has different powers doesn’t mean anything. Look in the mirror. She’s your sister.”

Clark shrugged and ran off. Clark, while having discovered his powers early, hadn’t mastered them. They were out of his control at times. Lana, however, didn’t show any signs of hers until she was a toddler. And she’d mastered them quickly. She still had little moments, like when she was extremely upset, but those were rare.

-10 years old-

You were visiting the bunker for the weekend, as Crowley had some business to attend to. The children were getting restless, and you were too tired to keep up with them. You were only a couple months pregnant, so all you wanted to do was nap. Sam and Dean were a huge help, not minding if you happened to nod off on the couch. They had even offered to watch them for a bit after this baby was born. You told them you’d consider it.

Dean came running in, out of breath. “They can really move!” He panted, putting his hands on his knees.

You laughed. “Well, yeah. Just be glad nothing has blown up.” He gave you a look of horror. “It’s usually stupid things, but it has happened.”

He shook his head. “Props to you, man. I don’t know how you do it.” He sighed, sitting next to you. “Okay, Sam can fly solo for a little bit.” His head leaned back and he closed his eyes for a moment before you both heard a loud crash. Followed by Sam’s voice. “Or not.” He groaned, getting up.

“I’ll bake you a pie later as a thanks.” You smiled.

-15 years old-

“Why not, mom?!” Lana yelled, arms crossed.

You sighed. “Because it’s not safe for you!” You told her. She was trying to convince you to let her go on a date with a human she had met when out with Dean one day. “We don’t know who’s a hunter, Lana! We don’t know if you’ll be safe.”

She glared at you. “I’m sure I can deal with one human teenager.”

Crowley walked in, raising his eyebrow. “What’s all this about?”

“Lana wants to go on a date.” That alone made Crowley’s mood falter. “With a human.”

“Dad! You’re married to a human!” She defended her choice.

Crowley sighed. “That…is entirely different.” He explained. Neither of you had ever told the children about how you really got pregnant. It didn’t seem like you needed to.

She flopped on her large bed. “How? How is that any different?”

“For starters, she was an adult.” He walked closer, hands in his pockets. “Secondly, this all started because your mother asked for a deal.” His voice was quiet.

Sitting up, she looked between the two of you. “Mom?”

You sat next to her, nodding. “Before you were born, I loved Uncle Dean. A lot. However, he didn’t seem to love me back. Always going for the pretty, skinny girls. I asked your father for a deal. My soul for the perfect body.” You glanced at your husband. “He refused. Told me I was prefect the way I was. Well, Dean found out. What happened between your father and myself was supposed to remain a one time thing. Apparently, Dean thought I was too good for him.” Retelling this was hard, as there were so many emotions at the time. “We slowly became a couple. Until I got really tired, and sick. A month and a half after I asked your father for a deal, I found out I was pregnant. I ran. I was scared. No matter how hard they looked, they couldn’t find me. The only one who knew where I was…was Uncle Cas.” She was staring at you. “By chance, they found me. A lot of fighting happened, a lot of tears. I came to hell with your father for a bit, so he could be there for part of the pregnancy. When I was eight months pregnant, I started living at the bunker, too uncomfortable in hell. Your father joined me. We stayed there until you and your brother were two months old. That’s when I decided to be with him.”

“So you see, love, it’s not because we’re hypocrites, it’s because we were all but forced together. Not that I’m complaining, mind you.” He told her.

She made a face. “I’m never looking at Uncle Dean the same way again…” She groaned. “Never mind. I’m going to see what Clark is doing.”

-18 years old-

“Keep them safe, Sam.” You told him.

He smiled. “I will.” Lana had decided to go to college, online, but college. Clark was never far from his sister. While he spent half his time in hell, where he preferred, he did spend a lot of time with the boys.

“I can’t believe Lana is moving out, and Clark will be splitting his time now. Where has the time gone?”

Sam chuckled. “You still have Duncun.” He pointed out. “He’s a handful, isn’t he.”

You let out a breath. “Yes, that he is. Speaking of which, I should probably go save the babysitter.” You went through babysitters way too fast. They just didn’t seem to want to watch him again.

The two of you hugged before you went to say goodbye to your twins. “You can come home whenever you want.” You told Lana.

You returned to hell to find that Duncun had tied up his babysitter and ran off to play with the hell hounds. You untied her and went looking for him. “Duncun Roderick MacLeod!” You hollered, knowing he’d hear you.

[burningexeter]

Here's an entire pitch that I came up with for a spin-off video game called "A Tale Of Darkness" that brings together Tangled and Frozen in an unconventional way.

It's a dark fantasy action adventure video game that is a Tangled/Frozen female-led crossover in a different continuity, has Devil May Cry-influenced gameplay and has a mixture of high-quality computer animated cutscenes that advance the story in their own different and unique ways.

Premise:

"A Tale Of Darkness" tells the story of Anna, the sweet and kind-hearted but klutzy and socially awkward young peasant woman who is too clumsy for her own good, always leaving a mess of a trail behind much to her frustration and is seen as an outcast. It's then on one night after humiliating herself at the "Fall Harvest" due to an incident with a pig that her life is turned completely upside-down when living shadows abduct her mother and 10-year-old sister and take them into the deepest and darkest part of the forest.

There, Anna finds herself in a hidden but deadly magical world right under our noses in an attempt to rescue them against all the odds as she now has a hardened armor attached to her body that gives her pale white skin and incredible fighting skills which she now has to use in order to survive and save her mother and sister.

Along the way not only must Anna overcome the highest stakes possible ranging from the numerous macabre creatures to this hidden world's leader whose responsible for everything occurring to said leader's female soldiers with the same armor, pale skin and skills but also find it in herself the courage, maturity and strength she never knew she had.

However in doing so, Anna ends up unintentionally attracting the attention of a certain soldier by the name of Elsa who later towards the final act offers to team up with Anna after not only being impressed with her skills especially in their previous encounters but also finding out her leader's true intentions.

Notes/Trivia/Details:

• The gameplay will be heavily influenced by a lot of the free-world and combat of the first Devil May Cry game and even The Nightmare Before Christmas: Oogie's Revenge while at the same time taking what made those gameplays distinctive and making it all its own.... and also fixing all of the problems RebelTaxi had with Oogie's Revenge in his review.

• As for the aesthetic, like I said it will have the same quality of animation that the films, short and special all have with the cutscenes and aforementioned gameplay being done by WDAS. But at the same time, it will also have a gothic and macabre style to it that is almost Tim Burton-reminiscant especially with the backgrounds.

• Kristen Bell, Idina Menzel, Mandy Moore and Eden Espinosa will all reprise their roles of Anna, Elsa, Rapunzel and Cassandra. The latter three characters are now in this version or continuity part of the army of soldiers with Cass being a maniacal and manipulative one who later uses it for good, Rapunzel being the good-natured one who always gets pushed around quite literally but finally has enough and finds her own inner strength and Elsa being at first the loyal mook who follows any order that she's told and only breaks them when she feels or thinks it's for the better but then teams up with Anna when she finds out her leader's real plans.

• Three new characters are three grey-skinned female vampires with their own bombastic and enjoyably twisted personalities - Cherry, Elise and Athena - that just like Elsa, Rapunzel and Cass will turn around to the good side through their own means. Influenced by the Brides from Van Helsing in their winged bat forms minus the wings and less over-the-top as they were.

• Anna, Elsa, Rapunzel and Cass will have the same type of armor that Cass had in Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure S3 when she fused with the Moonstone, pale skin and all while at the same time keeping the colors of their hair so said color pops - Anna's hair is brown, Elsa's hair is white, Rapunzel's hair is golden blonde and Cassandra's hair is black. Meanwhile with their armor - Anna's armor is brown, Elsa's armor is white, Rapunzel's armor is purple and Cassandra's armor is black.

• The game will have a dark and intense, scary edge to it that shows us the dangers and stakes that all of the characters, especially Anna, are in and to balance out the lighter aspects. For example, when Anna accidentally ends up falling on Elsa.... Elsa devours her whole. Only for Anna to blast her way out of Elsa's stomach using something she ate way earlier and for later, Elsa puts herself back together in one.

• As for the villain of the video game, the leader that I've mentioned is named Eris and is a cunning, cold-hearted and ferocious master who is later on revealed to have a code she goes by when push comes to shove while at the same time never losing her menace.

• SPOILERS: How it ends is that after going through hell and back and a larger climax than you think, Anna is reunited with her mother and sister only to find out when they're asleep that she still has her armor and that Elsa, Rapunzel, Cassandra, Cherry, Elise and Athena all followed her into her world with Elsa proposing that they use their skills for good and that her and Anna become a couple. Without any other choice, Anna's forced to agree with Elsa embracing her.

Remember, different continuity. They are not related here as they honestly should've been from the getco.

One final thing that should be interesting is without it being obvious is that every now and then there are a few easter eggs that heavily imply a retroactive shared universe and it could be in a shared universe. It's through objects that Eris collects.