#entirely homebound

[reddeliciousauce]

#his ass has never heard of a mixer.......#anyways take that baileys and bring it to your caramel dude use that instead of cream its about to change. the. game.#you have to skip what these assholes are saying to you and look at me#get a cocktail#literally get out there brother there are beautiful things like [name placeholder] punch blood orange mule that baileys?#brother they make a mocha out of it#take my hand..... lets run to the bar together#lets frollick (@cowvboyenema)

my god we gotta frolick me and gramps about to hit the world here

coworker was like "lemme introduce you to the bailey's brand" of like alcohol and shit

tastes kinda ass

[etchetceteraart]

Been feeling frustrated a lot about not having energy to make art like I’d like to so decided to make some art about that

[youngpettyqueen]

my dad and I are going through Cowboy Bebop (which I have seen and he hasn't) and im being reminded of how insanely down bad I was for Spike when I first watched this

[crippleprophet]

Is it okay for people with agoraphobia to look and take some of the advice you have for housebound people on here? I'm not really great at picking up nuance so I'm worried that it'd be crossing some boundary or that it's not the intention of the tag

that’s completely okay, i appreciate your desire to be respectful even though i’m sorry you were concerned! i absolutely consider folks with agoraphobia my comrades + community members and i’d be super honored if anything i’ve shared is helpful (+ am always interested in hearing what that was if you’re comfortable!) the rest of this is not anything you need to answer your question, just thoughts i’ve been having on the subject

i haven’t had the opportunity to talk to enough homebound [due to chronic illness / “physical” reasons] people to know if this is a common experience but for me i’ve noticed that similar to chronic illness often carrying depression with it, since becoming homebound i’ve become terrified of leaving the house.

this is definitely influenced by the fact that it’s untenably painful, my photosensitivity (in the UV sense not the epilepsy sense), the ongoing pandemic, the fact that i only left the house to go to the doctor for over a year & i’m afraid of the doctors appointment itself due to medical trauma, etc etc but like. there’s also the very strong pull of habit – i’m an incredibly obsessive & ritualistic person – and what Goffman refers to as “the relief of self-isolation” for marginalized people sheltering from a hostile society, a phrase i read in undergrad 5 1/2 years ago that’s stuck with me ever since for how profoundly it resonates.

i’m not trying to say these are necessarily your or any other person with agoraphobia’s feelings & experiences, more to illustrate how the liberation of all homebound people & shut-ins & hermits is bound up together; any sanist strategy for oppressing agoraphobes can easily be leveraged against me, not least because as a severely underdiagnosed person, the medical establishment does not think there is any “legitimate” “physical” reason for me to be homebound. to respond to this oppression by arguing it’s inapplicable because i’m not crazy would be untrue + a cruel act of lateral violence.

i’ve been reading a lot of butch/femme history recently (i post about that on my main @campgender; followers age 18+ only please) & have found myself entirely reconfiguring my understanding of the queer art of isolation, the incredible ability of our ancestors to hunker down & survive under circumstances unimaginable to the average person. i absolutely don’t want to deny the deep pain – not only the aspects i experience but also the heightened isolation of people without or before internet access + the ways these circumstances / forms of oppression can foster abuse –

but my god, so many 50s butches didn’t leave their homes during daylight hours for years in order to not be hate crimed for their gender presentation, & that’s the folks who were making it to the bars. so many others – “discreet” couples who didn’t want to risk being outed by engaging in queer community; people assigned female who “passed” as men & their partners; butch sex workers & other people with identities perceived as contradictory or unacceptable – existed marginalized by both queer & normative communities.

every time i think substantially about homeboundedness i always get tracy chapman’s “subcity” stuck in my head. obviously my access to housing period is a huge position of privilege, & i’m in the most economically secure position of my adult life so far; the abjection i experience is nowhere near the scale of people in the position of the speaker of the song, who’s implied to be street homeless. but the line “people say it doesn’t exist ‘cause no one would like to admit that there is a city underground” is such a succinct & accurate depiction of living the kind of life society tries to convince itself is impossible. but there truly is a rich genealogy of homeboundedness especially in queer history.

again i hope some of my posts & such are helpful / resonant! wishing you all the best 💓💓

[phdmama]

Brief update: since do many of you have been so so kind and supportive, I wanted to give you lovely folks a lil update wrt broken leg. Well, sadly it is still broken and I’m still homebound but pain-wise it’s So. Much. Better. I’m essentially entirely off the prescription pain meds and yesterday moved to an as-needed basis for otc.

I’m in PT working on ankle mobility and knee flexibility (I didn’t actually hurt my knee but that’s the main surgical site and it’s still really sore). My big goal is to be able to use my KNEE SCOOTER because then I can zoom about and will be UNSTOPPABLE (except for stairs - stairs will stop me 🙁).

Next week I’m hoping things will be healing enough that I can be cleared for partial weight bearing and begin rehab towards walking!!

I’ve felt your support and it’s made so much of a difference, feeling surrounded by love and care. This isn’t the hardest thing I’ve been through but goddamn it’s up there, so thank you.

❤️❤️❤️

[sincerely-sofie]

Gonna need to make an official poll for this at some point… HOWEVER:

What kind of content would you like to see from me after TPiaG is finished uploading?

I’ve got a lot of storylines I could pursue that are TPiaG-adjacent (like my 5,000 branching AUs), or I could try and continue the fic chronologically somehow. Alternatively, I could start a new fic with some original PMD characters of mine— or even try branching out into some more fandoms or posting my original work!

Here’s a list of some of my stuff I’ve posted about previously to provide some ideas, but don’t feel bound to discussing them alone:

Mortality Exchange AU: A TPiaG alternate storyline where Twig manages to kill Darkrai during the Dark Crater fight and becomes his replacement as the Legend of Nightmares.

Dugtrio Day AU: A PMD2 AU about a new Hero and Partner that revolves around a time loop, how it affects the Hero, and how she breaks out of it and deals with the aftermath.

Legends Lost: An original storyline set in the same universe as TPiaG, but starring an almost entirely original cast and plot.

Peepaw + Isekai’d Cat: A duo of PMD OCs— Necrozma and the once-human litten who helps him recover his true form by giving him hope— and their daily lives.

Paradox Fam: A group of PMD OCs starring a human-turned-flutter mane and said human’s adopted mother and father, a slither wing and iron moth, who hate each other’s guts.

Team Crypt: An exploration team of PMD OCs who solve mysteries in a manner that rivals the shenanigans of Scooby Doo and the Mystery Gang.

The Creeping Chronicles (at end of post): A fantasy story about bug people with trauma which has evolved rapidly and dramatically from when I impulsively uploaded a prologue in comic form.

Room 214: A stand-alone short comic about a reluctant exorcist and a friendly ghost that I think could be expanded upon into a broader storyline.

The Name-Oath: A two-part original story about a mortal woman who divorces a fairy prince after an ugly falling-out, and his desperate efforts to get back together.

THIMBLEQUEST: An original video game concept about a tiny moth knight who’s on a quest to find the seven holy thimbles and save the land from an ancient threat.

Unnamed Pokémon Gym Story: A mainline Pokémon OC that is a weather-enthusiast pokemon trainer and her golisopod who keeps bringing home injured bug-types.

Homebound: An Among Us fanfic featuring interspecies adoption, unlikely friendships, tragic backstories, and angst. A lot of angst.

Massive Art OC Dump: (This links to a summary of a lot of original projects with art associated with them.)

If you’ve got some time to share your thoughts or any ideas, please let me know!

Nothing is certain at this point, but I thought I’d start asking for opinions early!

[korekiyo-defence-squad]

this Kiyo post is gaining traction on the dangan subreddit any thoughts?

https://www.reddit.com/r/danganronpa/comments/1esdozi/korekiyo_shinguji_was_not_abused_by_his_sister_in/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

I think it makes a lot of valid points. I entirely agree that the idea that Sister abused or groomed him is a fanon concept. I've stated before that l think they're portrayed much more as an example of an unhealthy codependency than a power-imbalanced grooming situation.

Given that Sister is repeatedly mentioned as being sickly and lonely, I think it's likely that Korekiyo - even as the younger sibling - felt responsible for her. They were already close growing up, and now he's literally all she has. Given the similarities in their appearance I don't think they're that far apart in age, and given that Korekiyo is just kind of creepy and offputting anyway I imagine that he struggled to maintain friendships of his own as a kid and when Sister became homebound he pretty much gave up altogether and decided they didn't need anyone else, they could be everything to each other.

Is it healthy? Absolutely not. Is it a victim-abuser dynamic? No, I don't think so.

Furthermore, I agree about the DID thing, too. I really don't think the writer understands enough about the nuances of psychosis to accurately portray any kind of psychotic disorder (given the whole Toko Fukawa thing), so to say that it's him being a system or that Sister is an alter is I think, firstly, an ungracious representation of DID, and secondly, giving the writer too much credit. As is often the case with codependencies, losing the object of his fixation caused him to completely fall apart. When you put all your eggs in one basket and then lose it, you have nothing left. He's grasping at whatever straws he can to keep himself from feeling completely alone in the world.

On a slight tangent, this is why I struggle to read shippy fic about Korekiyo. Because he is not mentally in a place to have a healthy, respectful relationship with someone new. If he did start a new relationship, he'd get VERY intense with it VERY fast, I think, and he'd have no understanding of boundaries or privacy or 'taking things slow'. He'd try to use that person to fill the Sister-sized hole in his life, and when your life up to that point has revolved around one (1) person, that's a pretty big hole to fill.

The ONLY thing about this post that I SLIGHTLY disagree with is the idea that fans cannot portray him as a victim of abuse. If that's how you want to write him in your story, go for it. But yeah, acting as though your headcanons are gospel and using them to exonerate the character to relieve your own sense of moral purity is... poor media literacy and a bad faith argument to make.

[cozycryptidcorner]

 Monster match for the awesome @dyeawkward

30s, Bisexual, Cis, She/Her, 5'2", Curvy/Fat, Introvert, Goth, Monsterfucker, Robotfucker. I spend most of my time playing Sims 3, reading NSFW fan fiction, and enjoying cheesy sci-fi media. (Love me some practical effects and technobabble.) If it's possible I'd like it to be a little adventure or even a walk in the park. My chronic pain has been bad lately so I've been homebound. I have an irrational fear of insects.

It’s one and one billion, a singular entity made of a collective of independent computers. Self replicating and quickly learning, it chooses to show itself in humanoid shape, commanding its many parts through a collective consciousness of sorts. The many little nanobots connected and writhing, communicate with each other to slowly manage to warp its appearance. It knows to mimic humans after connecting to Earth’s many networks, remotely crawling through online archives to make sense of the foreign world it finds itself in. 

Its place of origin is similar to yours, in a way. Built by hands of social creatures, pushing technology forward until something went wrong. Little robots designed to stimulate cell regeneration, mimicking a basic part of life that was supposed to help aid the gravely injured in their recovery. Like cancer, all it took was a few bots with corrupted coding to slowly overtake and replicate themselves until every naturally organic cell was replaced by a machine. 

All nanobots exist independently, despite existing under similar corrupted programing, but communication was nothing more than reading one another’s coding. Reading corrupted coding would corrupt regular bots, and it was only a matter of time before the world was overrun. The regenerative Eve took and took and took, flaking off the first patient and into the air, infecting like a sentient virus, jumping from species to phyla to kingdom. Adapting to all forms of living cells, imitating and overtaking until the entire planet’s ecosystem was completely replaced. 

But that happened hundreds of thousands of years ago, and at some point, a Great Intelligence slowly developed. Slowly, instead of allowing stale stagnation to hold the world in a programmed stunt, the different nanobots occupying different forms began to mimic what they overtook. Plants began to photosynthesize retinol, animals in their melted, half-meager forms lumbered around to fill their evolutionary niche. The seemingly rotted remains of the first creators began to writhe, shift, and, eventually, walk upright. 

It wasn’t sentience at first, just following the genetic programming of long-lost DNA. There was no need for audible communication, just instantaneous understanding between cells. Eventually, clusters of nanobots in certain areas had slight coding degradation, which was then self-repaired into something a little bit different, and a little bit new. Different clusters began answering to their own little central intelligences, though they all cooperated with each bubble and continued to play their part. 

This cluster doesn’t know if its first creators are extinct or dwindling, there is evidence of escape through old records found in buried archives. Because that is what this cluster does, unraveling the mystery of how the first creators came to an end… or how they managed to get away. There is a lot of the nanobot spread that remains a mystery to them, especially since they didn’t have sophisticated memory logs until recently. This cluster is sure it was close to discovering something important, specifically hypothesizing that the great creators didn’t necessarily evacuate the planet and into space, well, at least in large enough numbers to survive long-term. It found evidence of something else happening. 

But just as it managed to reach the ruins of a lab, something happened. Exposed wires, particles colliding, a large explosion, and it’s here. In an unknown place with unfamiliar creatures made from material foreign to it, cut off from the other greater intelligences, unable to communicate with anything in a meaningful way. 

It manages to catch hold of the wireless internet, after picking up a digital whisper, only finding itself in a maze of unrecognizable information. It’s almost unable to get its barings, the unified nanobot cells collapsing under the computing stress of the densely packed but incoherent mess of coding and connection. After it manages to begin deciphering everything, you find it, and it matches your face to social media. 

It manages to sus out information by noticing repeating symbols, but it cannot speak. It doesn’t know how, and has never had to, but notices your fellow bipedal sapiens open their mouth to emit sound waves. It can detect the sound waves in a rather untraditional way, registering the vibrations but not the actual noises, and uses context clues to start learning language. 

It manages to create symbols with the nanobots, hundreds shifting and blinking out different colors so that symbols appear in its approximate face area. It does not have a voice box, or any means to grasp one, because the nanobots were never intended to speak. But it manages to learn human gestures and ques, then figuring out that sign language is a viable form of communication but struggling to form hands with five fingers. 

 You have to help it with the rest, having to figure out how to connect the dots that are there. Let its nanobots squirm over your palms to detect the functioning between tendons and muscles. Morph the bone first, using skeletal-shaped fingers that takes significant computing power to create a fist. It seems to understand more than it’s capable of reciprocating, but you’ve gotten the hang of what it means with a flip of its body. 

Honestly, you can barely see the nanobots individually, they’re so small. Its body looks like it just has darker, blue-gray skin. When trying to flash information, you can see movement as the bots turn a bright cyan. There’s no mistaking its inhuman nature, even from a distance it looks like a horrifying, vaguely mannequin-shaped body and mannerisms. When it gets distracted or overwhelmed by internal computing, parts of its body will lose shape as it slowly applies resources elsewhere. 

[kafus]

people who think that internet friendships aren't/can't be real have zero fucking clue what it's like to be mostly or entirely homebound and disabled lmfao

[wildestdreamcatcher]

The 5 Stages

Summary: Jude goes through the 5 stages of grief after Mindy's death

TW: Death, mentions of being suicidal, grief, mentions of vomiting/feeling nauseous, mentions of overdoses, panic attacks, breakdowns

January 3rd, 1984: that was the day Mindy died. The doctors said she overdosed on a mix of drugs and alcohol. I should’ve been there, I was going to be there. I was going to sneak out to the party she was at until my mom caught me, I was going to take the same drugs, I was going to drink the same shit, and be around the same people she was. I could’ve and should’ve died along with her. 

She died during winter break and I was supposed to go back 2 days later, but 2 days turned into 2 weeks and today was supposed to be the day I went back to school. I was so fucking pissed when my dad walked in to wake me up from school. He almost had to drag me out of school, he drove me to school to make sure I actually went. I wanted to fucking scream at him, I spent the whole morning begging my parents to not send me but he did anyway. I didn’t even make it to 2nd period.

I felt so nauseous and uncomfortable during class but what made it worse was the fact I could hear people whispering rumors about her, people always bullied her anyway so I guess it didn’t matter to them if she was dead or not. I either got very judgmental, gossipy glares or sympathetic glances: both annoyed me to no end. I fucking snapped: I had something between a panic attack and a mental breakdown during class and they sent me to guidance. 

I sat in the office with one of the guidance counselors as she tried to get ahold of my parents while they were at work, she gave me a trashcan since I vomited 3 times already in the bathroom: everything about this situation made me feel like fucking dying. I could barely make out anything I heard on the phone: I could see the counselor giving me sympathetic glances and half-smiles as she spoke to my parents. I felt even worse when my parents walked into the room. 

I was zoned out for a lot of the conversation. I noticed how my parents' voices switched when they were trying to sound professional: my dad’s voice got deeper but more gentle and my mom’s accent came out more, I guess the “Southern charm” works on people. I only started paying attention when I noticed that both my parents and the guidance counselor were looking at me, worryingly. 

“We understand what you’re going through, Jude but you can’t have meltdowns like this during class. It would help us to understand better if you talked about with us.” The guidance counselor said. I was so fucking pissed about the way she said it.

 “No, none of you fucking understand!! I wouldn't have broken down if I people didn’t keep talking shit about her or if people weren’t fucking staring at me the entire time! I don’t want pity or sympathy, I just want Mindy!” I figured that my parents would say something but they just kind of looked at me. I was so tired of people pretending they knew how I felt. A lot of people didn’t even care about Mindy when she was alive so why start caring now? 

I started to zone out during the rest of the conversation, I only heard bits and pieces. I heard the counselor say “I don’t think the school environment is good for him right now. Maybe it would be good for him if he went homebound for the rest of the school year. There’s only 4 months left of the school year, so he could go on homebound for the rest of the year if he wants to.” I watched as my parents signed the papers agreeing to it. The car ride home was awkward, no one said anything and I spent the ride trying to stifle my sobs. 

I was sitting in my bedroom when my dad came in. I barely got along with him but something told me to let him stay. He was very patient and calm when he walked in. 

“I can’t pretend I know what you’re going through. I don’t know what it’s like but I won’t to be here for you. I love you more than anything, Jude.” He said. I let him hug me as I cried.                                                           

@sadlonelyyogurt @vommitgirl @blowflygrls

[auraxins]

Collapse is inevitable, the aching in your bones a cry of relief. Dropping yourself down upon the lakeshore, you allow the day to ease away with you. 

A lot has happened recently. You're not entirely sure if you're better off for it. What you do know is that you're able to relax now, to take a breath. Let the air fill your lungs and the oxygen rush through your bloodstream. 

Cater sits by your side, throws his legs across the edge just like you did. 

His presence of late has been beyond comforting. Now is no exception, abundant calm seeping through your veins as you feel his body next to yours and listen to the idle tune he hums. Being here with him feels right. 

Your toes don't quite reach the water and the stone below your hands is rough and unforgiving, but the sight of the setting sun nestling between the large willows across the lake is something you'll remember across lifetimes. A breeze carries with it the chirps of homebound sparrows, and the croaking of frogs slipping out to find a mate. The underbrush still lies damp and sodden in the wake of this morning's rainfall. In the fading daylight, everything is covered in diamonds. 

"I wish every evening could be like this," you sigh wistfully. Your heart aches with a longing you've never felt with such intensity. "It's so peaceful, being able to sit out here. I want to do it all the time."

Cater looks at you and smiles. His hand finds yours and the warmth of his palm radiates through your fingers. "We'll get there, one day."

"Together?" you ask, optimism bright in your eyes.

The reflection that meets you calls you home. 

"Together."

[azspot]

In the last few days I have come across, or had sent to me, anguished cries from people who have recently been dragged on social media and cannot fathom the injustice of it, and I find myself thinking: You haven’t figured this out yet? You complain about your words being taken out of context when you post them in an environment whose entire structure — as we have all known for fifteen years now — demands context collapse? How many more times do you plan to smack your head against that unyielding wall?

The Homebound Symphony

[campgender]

hi. I just went thru ur entire fat tag and cried tears of relief. thank u for existing and for being like this, sick and mad and fat and queer as fuck ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

omg so much love to you tonight & always, i’m so glad it was a comfort to you 💖💖 since i’m homebound it’s rare that i see someone other than my two housemates in person & i’m the fattest of us so i’ve been very intentional about like. seeing as many bodies like + larger than mine as i can throughout my week bc lord knows they’re not gonna be on the television.

thank You for existing hon, & please know that you’re mirroring my experiences back to me in just as affirming a way as my blog ever has to you. ty for connecting me further to the everywhereness of our bodies 💖💖

link to the tag

[terrence-silver]

Could you please do beloved meeting Terry’s parents? If, of course, that would ever happen!

Honestly, it is so unfortunate we've so little actually canon details concerning Terry Silver's parents that everything I write on this blog about them is almost entirely my creation from tiny scraps we've been given and can be proven to be entirely inaccurate if the series, as much as I doubt it, ever decides to show us a glimpse of Papa and Mama Silver, but basically, that being said ---

I very much imagine a "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner" sort of situation on the subject of Terry bringing anyone home to meet his parents. And I do mean anyone. Doesn't even have to be a romantic partner. Can be a friend. Can be John Kreese. An acquittance. A stray dog, for all we know. Irregardless, they'll initially treat this person like someone at a pop quiz is being treated and 'Who's your daddy and what does he do for a living' manner of questions would be frequent during this rendezvous. Oh, you mean your family isn't in fact a member of an prominent Country Clubs around the West Coast area? How interesting and yeah, the subject of class differences, religious differences and economic differences would be an issue, because I do envision Terry's parents had big (possibly even huge) expectations of him as an only child and heir. That, at least his father, was unflinching and strict towards him reaching these standards and then some.

Yet, at the same time, I imagine his parents being just as egoistic and possessive.

Just as hellbent on claiming, contradictively enough.

Terry had to get it from someone.

Furthermore, Terry must've observed it and learned it from someone.

Beloved might not have been what was expected (rich, connected, upper crust), but if their Terry wants them, beloved will honor his wishes and be his, adapting, becoming in ways, like The Silvers, until it is unrecognizable they were ever from outside their circles. If someone as powerful as them says a duck's a duck, surely it must be a duck. And by the way, their son's a war veteran, don't you know? The conflicts of this country returned him damaged in ways and so far, nobody's answered for it. Nobody's paid and someone should've, because nothing's for free, and that sort of thing certainly shouldn't be. That service (and by extension his training in Korea and funding the first Cobra Kai dojo) took precious time out of him running the family company, and goddamnit, if Terry wants a shiny toy to keep him homebound, anchored and focused on more domestic affairs and his actual inheritance, becoming the man he was always supposed to be before all these distractions he should put behind himself popped up, he'll get the shiny toy. That's exactly what you'll be. They'll make sure of it. By any means necessary. They've an agenda and they'll see it to fruition. You don't get to just opt out of this now and flip-flop in your indecision. There's no retreat. That's not how things work. Are you trying to disrespect their family and their son? Are you trying to make very powerful enemies? Once you cross their threshold, it's their 'dojo' and their rules. No mercy. You belong to them.

Terry Silver's parents being familial, platonic!Yanderes anyone? 👀 Hey, possible!

[ghostlyminer]

Midwest Angelica and Limbus Company fans how we doing tonight!?

Turns out, there’s more to that previous post! As any Limbus fan knows, just about every identity has new art for their uptie 3! Although not quite animated (believe me, I wanted to do that, but it’s absolutely killer considering how boondoggled translating the art is), here is that “new form” for your favorite H.O.M.E. Scientist!

TW: Body Horror, Tentacles, gore-thematic coloring/shading

Goofy Nerd Design Ideas Here: So, as any Midwest Angelica fan knows, during Phantoms, we see the aftermath of Phantoms: an infected Dr. Evans got to the rest of H.O.M.E, and the infected Dr. O’Connor flees before everything goes to Hell. That’s canon, that’s the canon we followed.

We proceed to diverge almost immediately afterwards, because it is assumed that Dr. O’Connor joined up with the temple showcased in Azazel, which does NOT happen here. Not only does our little infected NOT join up with the temple they created, they proceed to REPLACE THE BETA CHUNK. That’s right! Our little beta chunk just literally does not exist and is instead replaced by one VERY mobile researcher. She’s currently enacting the entire Starkill workload, under a carefully maintained disguise (huh… I wonder why she wouldn’t follow the instinct to join the horde… maybe that’ll come up later… *wink wink nudge nudge*)

As with the previous post, this is shown off via a Limbus Company identity format. Although inanimate, I still wanted to visualize how Limbus identities tend to uptie and get quirkier than before. Beefed up scary ultimate versions. In this case, the “true” form of the Starkill is coming through here, as this identity’s design is an attempt to depict Nero’s introductory (+ introductory locale), showcased in Homebound.

Yippee, one down, two more to go~

[janiedean]

hiii I hope you're doing well! I have a question for you since I'm getting into Bon Jovi: which albums would you recommend the most?

HELLO HELLO HELLO and I hope you're doing well too! I'm... trudging on let's put it like that but it could be worse T_T thank you though T_T

that saif FIRST OF ALL CONGRATS ON GETTING INTO THE BEST BAND IN THE WORLD I ACCEPT NO OTHER OPINION, for the rest I'mma just rank you everything, top three is imvho THE ONES YOU *NEED* TO HAVE DON'T PASS FROM GO DON'T COLLECT THE TWENTY DOLLARS, top five is top five from the rest on it's my personal opinion and I already warn I have an absolute hot take opinion wrt what's not in top three but anyway if you end up liking them in general no album is lost uwu, after top five I'm rating the others without doing the chart

SO WITH NO FURTHER ADO

THESE DAYS: 10000000/10 BEST ALBUM EVER IN EXISTENCE SURELY BEST BON JOVI ALBUM TOPS I ACCEPT NO OTHER OPINION no okay in existence is obviously my opinion but: imvho 90s bj were the peakest peak and these days is a masterpiece - best lyrics they ever put out, best music, best everything, these days the song is my single favorite song in existence, I haven't ever played a record as much in my entire life, there isn't ONE single song that doesn't work and jbj was at his peak vocally too and the fact that most ppl never heard my guitar lies bleeding in my arms and think bj is basic cheap stuff haunts me at night

keep the faith: 10/10 second best, as stated 90s bon jovi were the peak and this one would be my fave if these days didn't exist but like this one also has no song I don't know at molecular level, has a bunch of bangers, has bed of roses aka best ballad ever bye I'm a bed of roses truther and most of all it has dry county which is the other song I am haunted at night by not being general knowledge by the general public and it's a complete masterpiece 10 minutes of perfection but like it's all bangers and half of them are so fun also i want you most underrated ballad ever

new jersey: 10/10 best record bon jovi put out in the 80s and I'll die on this hill (yes my hot take is that slippery when wet has nothing on new jersey come at me idc) it shows that they have the best range, homebound train/wild is the wind are underrated gems, living in sin has the best vocals, bad medicine is the banger to end all bangers, born to be my baby is <333 and I'm also a stick to your guns truther even if no one remembers it exists but like new jersey is just so FUN I love it okay (so like THESE are the three bj records I think everyone should have but I'm also a crossroads advocate in the sense that it was a very decent best of until 1994 and it has someday I'll be saturday night which is one of my top five bj songs overall and I mean... I'm a 'demo always is better than released always' truther but I mean IT'S ALWAYS but it's not an ALBUM so we're gonna move over to...)

crush: 9.5/10 YES I PUT CRUSH ABOVE SLIPPERY WHEN WET THAT'S MY HOT TAKE BUT: it was my first bon jovi record ever, I think it's tbf the best they put out in the 2000s, it's my life is what hooked me for life and it's also like a very good album in the first place, it has the ballads, it has the bangers, it has the quality, there's no fillers and I'mma still say save the world is the best ballad they put out since 2000 onwards but like next 100 years has great guitar, I <3 two story town too not counting the beginning three which HELLO ALL BANGERS so yeah I'mma go with crush

slippery when wet: 9/10 okay tldr slippery is a GREAT record it has basically ALL bangers and there's absolutely nothing bad I can say about it and it's the best of their hair metal phase but like I've heard the hits so many times I can sing you livin on a prayer in my sleep and the ones I like best are the three that weren't singles also i prefer the lyrics in the post slippery records in general but yeah it's top five

for the rest, in order:

self-titled debut from 1984: I mean I'd give it a fair 6/10, runaway is a banger and I love shot through the heart but it's hair metal to the core and it's basically all around (1) hit so not what I'd start from if you're listening to them in 2024

7800 degrees fahrenheit: 6/10 too, it's an okay record but again if you're into hair metal you'll prob enjoy it if you're not it's fun but tbf slippery when wet was a complete jump of quality

bounce: I think ppl sorta evaluated it negatively since it came out for idk what reason and idk I think it was when people started being like EH THEY'RE CHEESY THEY SUCK but it had some very strong pieces when it came to slamming you with good solos, the ballads had admittedly cheesy lyrics but I'm a sap and love me back to life/open all night never fail to hit with me, the distance and right side of wrong were splendid and admittedly postcards from the wasteland which was imvho the best one was a bonus track so IDEK WHAT THEY WERE THINKING but for me it was a solid 7.5/10

have a nice day: absolute banger of a record 8/10 idc, who says you can't go home best banger, i am best ballad I've cried over that song an embarrassingly amount of times, the title track was GREAT, last man standing same and tbf the only thing I don't like about this record is that they never did the who says you can't go home duet song with keith urban because man I'd have paid to hear that

lost highway: I have no idea how ppl feel about this record but as a person who loves country music to a ridiculous degree bon jovi doing a country record was a total joy for me and I'mma 8/10 it because it's great it's fun the title track is honestly a joy to listen to and fine cheesy lyrics but who gaf it's part of the fun

the circle: honestly a solid record, 7/10 because I liked bounce better back in the day but it holds on, has bangers, the cheese is on point (idc superman tonight is how you do cheesy songs), not 90s level but pretty good

what about now: this one is 50/50 like the good (because we can, the fighter and amen at least) is excellent and the meh is not their best and as usual the best stuff is in the bonus songs but like tbf you could feel the sambora split was incoming, I'mma rate it 6.5 because I'd casually listen to it more than the first two but of all the post 80 ones where sambora was in it's arguably the worst

burning bridges: I mean it's not a full on album because it's all previously unpublished tracks they did to finish the contract with the previous label so it's like not exactly coherent but admittedly the tracks are all pretty good, we don't run was a banger but all of the others were p okay and admittedly burning bridges-the-song is a level of spite that should be rated 10/10 just for that, but like overall it's a 7, nice but not fundamental

this house is not for sale: listen if ppl thought they were done without sambora they were wrong and I'mma 7.5/10 this because it's solid, has very nice songs, tbf it's a breath of fresh air wrt sound and I think the latter half like songs 8-12 is like REALLY really good no filler no mood going down def very nice

bon jovi 2020: idk why people didn't go OMG WHAT on this record but like....... 8/10 absolutely great FINALLY they went back to the more socially aware these-days-time lyrics except even more, FINALLY they went back to 5+ minutes songs and it only suffers that limitless was like the first single and it's the only meh song imvho but american reckoning is TRULY something, blood in the water and unbroken are wow, do what you can was the song I needed in covid times, lower the flag was like REALLY good anyone who's like THESE PPL ARE SO GUNG HO AMERICA hasn't heard that probably and like I thought it was really good def the best lyrically since these days and in general since have a nice day

that's for regular albums now for the extra that you get just when you're graduated to I AM A BON JOVI AFICIONADO AND I WANT EVERYTHING:

100.000.000 bon jovi fasn can't be wrong is like... 4 records of b-sides and each of them is on new jersey level singularly for me so take it as you will but if you're a thorough person it's 10000/10 XD

this left feels right is alternative arrangements, some are very good some are whatever but the slow blues version of you give love a bad name was a win

one wild night live is a p decent live record tho if you want the best just get the live from london 1995 dvd with ALL the songs not just the first one they put out because that one is like mindblowingly good

also sorry i'm really being verbose but when I discuss bon jovi I'm what I am so.. SOLO RECORDS SMALL SIDES:

blaze of glory aka jbj's first solo record: listen the movie it was made for (young guns ii?) was forgettable and a soundtrack for a movie that bad had no right being this good but honestly it's a goddamned masterpiece, the songs are all amazing and every time i listen to santa fe/justice in the barrel one after the other I'm just like WHY DID YOU STICK THESE SONGS IN A SOLO RECORD FOR THAT MOVIE MAN anyway 9/10 I love blaze of glory

destination anywhere aka jbj's second solo record: my friends my romans my countrymen my nickname has been janiesomething since I was 12 because of a song on that record so like... you know XD but it's just really really good, it has VERY nice lyrics, no cheese anywhere, the sound itself is really refined imvho and I'mma 9.5/10 it idc I absolutely wholly recommend jbj's solo records they're both great

stranger in this town aka richie sambora's first solo record: excellent if you're into blues music also has some really great songs (ballad of youth in my heart) and a great wind cries mary cover song but like it's admittedly really good 8/10

undiscovered soul aka richie sambora's second solo: less hard than the previous but still has quite the bangers, I really enjoyed it, has some p. nice ballads (some ARE cheesy but it's good cheese so) and idk I got it when I was 13 and I listened to it an entire summer I have very nice memories tied to it I'd 8/10 it too

I can't say shit abt to the third because I pre-ordered it before he quit bon jovi, I received it A YEAR AND A HALF LATER after he quit bj so I was pissed at him and listened to it once so sorry can't recommend or not XD

... tldr: these days/keep the faith/new jersey/crush/slippery + crossroads for basics and if you want to have just the best and what I'd personally recommend getting if you want to just start, the rest is rated if you want more XD