#thread: lale x raleigh 03

[writermuses]

closed starter for @erstwhles

Lale had given Raleigh every minute he wanted with their daughter. If she ever even caught a hint of him missing the little girl or hesitating to ask for more time, Lale would suggest it. She didn't want to impose on his life, but Lale still felt like she had stollen so much of his time with their daughter. July 29th felt like a lifetime away, the surgery had worked and radiation was started a few weeks later, lasting seven weeks. Seven long weeks of worry, weight loss, tears over tummy pain, and panicked mother hospital visits. Lily had missed the entire first semester of school and then her doctor suggested she continue with homebound schooling for the second quarter to build back her immune system. Luckily, Lily loved going to work with Lale, tucking away in various places in the library reading her way through whole sections of the library.

Somehow, Lale had managed to keep Raleigh from seeing the rent-controlled studio apartment they had moved into after their time was done with Christopher's Haven. The loud neighbors and sparse apartment hardly felt like 'home' but the pair were never there often enough for it to matter. The library had been the safe base for a peaceful transition of their daughter from one parent to the next, but Christmas Eve was going to change all of that because Lily was insisting that Santa could't find her if she didn't sleep at Raleigh's, where she'd be spending Christmas Day.

As her vintage van pulled up to the address, her text message still unanswered, Lale worried that he would be mad she'd shown up like this. It didn't stop Lily from unbuckling herself from the booster seat and climbing out to run full speed to the front door, leaving everything in the van except her beloved bear, Pucky. While Lily wore appropriate clothing for a Boston winter, Lale donned a cardigan over a sweater, under a thin zipping hoodie and jeans. She was already shivering as she knocked on the door. Leaving Lily's overnight bag and the presents she'd made and purchased for Raleigh in the car in case he had plans. "He wasn't expecting you, so you have to be patient. If he doesn't answer or says no. Then we'll go back to the library and we can use the computer to email Santa again. Ok-" The question hung on her lips as the door opened to reveal the man she still loved. "Merry Christmas, Raleigh."

Lale's whispered words were buried under squeals of delight, that joyous sound their daughter always made when she saw her dad. "Merry Christmas, Daddy! I came home so Santa can find me." Swallowing, Lale let out a slow exhale through her nose, trying not to be hurt by her daughter calling this beautiful place home. "Santa's too busy to read Momma's email. Right?" Lale's green eyes fell from their scan of the place back to Raleigh's familiar hands and how they so gently held their little girl who now tucked her face into the crook of his neck while her small hand hands played with the chain of his necklace. Once again Lale felt like she'd stollen so much from him and that she was just an imposter on his doorstep. "It's up to you, but... I tried texting." Lale did her best to put her smile back on, but her voice remained soft, as if she was closing in on herself. "It's really beautiful."

[writermuses]

Lale wrung her hands, partly to keep them warm and partly a nervous habit. She listened but stayed quiet, afraid of upsetting him by spoiling a kind invitation with her continued apologies. It didn't seem like he wanted them nor like he believed her. Nodding as Raleigh went to check on their daughter, she went back to the van to grab the presents 'from Santa'. Having never had presents, it had been important to her to make sure that Lily felt like she wasn't missing out. Typically, Lale spent a little each month on a small present or saved for the 'big' one from Santa. This year had been significantly different and difficult with how sick Lily had been, but she'd made it work. Taking a deep breath of the cool winter air, she picked up the box with the custom made doll that looked like Lily but had a hearing aid on her right ear and CI on her left like Lale. She had no doubt that it still wouldn't be a replacement for Pucky.

The other gift was for Raleigh, Lily's "baby book" which was really a massive scrapbook of everything big moment and little adventure. When Lale had wrapped it up, she knew she'd always known it would somehow make it to him. She'd saved copies of all of the pictures on her Google Drive, this was just one of the only things that had gone from move-to-move with them and the only thing she'd done to successfully clear her head whenever she missed him or was stressed about Lily's health or their finances. She was relieved when he wasn't at the tree upon her quiet steps into his home. After tucking both at the back of the tree she listened intently for any sound of them but made no move to walk through his home, instead looking around at the place he called home. She decided she'd ask if he was sure and that, selfishly, she'd stay because she doubted he would continue to offer shared holidays in the future.

Lily's giggle echoed through Raleigh's bedroom until she looked up from the tugged over pillows and blankets to see her dad. The sound was gobbled up exactly like a kid with their hand caught in a cookie jar. "Pucky doesn't like to sleep alone." She smiled up at him, holding up the bear in his Bruin's onsie as if he could take the blame for her sneaking into his room and making a mess of it. "We tried to climb. But I had an oopsie. It's too high..." Her eyes stayed on him, clearly worried and wondering if she was going to be in the 'big trouble' her mother always warned her about but never seemed to find out what it was. "I'm sorry, Daddy."

When the pair didn't come back, she reluctantly and slowly went in the direction that Raleigh had been taking Lily. Her heart raced as she invaded his personal space and her mind refused to stop playing the 'what if' game. Swallowing, she quietly leaned against the door frame. "Oh boy. Did you make this mess? Are you two being naughty?"

If he noticed Lale lingering in the doorway, Raleigh doesn't mention it, focused instead on the logistics of the rest of the night. Most of his day was spent decorating, but at least the inside of his house is finished. With food being delivered by the caterer, there isn't much to do aside from wrapping the last of the gifts that sit securely on the high shelves of his closet. Though he had many gifts wrapped at the store, the rest are still sitting in bags that he was planning on tackling next, but he is sure their daughter will want to go to sleep early enough to give him time later.

"They know about her," he confirms with a nod. His teammates may not know the whole story, but they know about Lily. "It's only a couple guys, anyway. I don't think it'll be overwhelming." He doesn't mention that his friend Casper, who has known Raleigh since he and Lale were together years ago, will be there too.

He shouldn't be surprised how quickly she agrees to let Lily spend the night, but Raleigh's brow lifts anyway, his mind filling with the image of Lale sitting at home alone all evening. Before he can think any better of it, he shakes his head. "You're not imposing. And you don't have to dress up. It's casual, but if you feel better, you can change into something more festive and come back. There's still a couple hours, anyway. It's just—" The thud coming from the hallway cuts off his words, and Raleigh's head snaps toward the sound, his heart stalling until Lily calls out to them. His expression softens, then, and a smile slips onto his lips as he takes a few backwards steps. "I'll... see what's going on, but think about it. It's Christmas Eve. I don't want to keep her to myself when she could have you here too."

With that, he turns and follows the sound coming from the hallway. A quick peek into Lily's room reveals she is nowhere to be found. Curious, he only pauses a moment before continuing to his room.

[writermuses]

Lale hadn't meant to hover in the doorway after Raleigh and Lily walked away, but her heart ached to be walking with them. She told herself that the sadness over this particular holiday was because of her own selfishness and choices. Her father had never given her a gift and she hadn't stayed with her mother after his death long enough to have a normal Christmas, the first saw her in the hospital as a minor being forced into a CI surgery. She'd not been able to do much for Lily in terms of gifts or decorations, but there were little traditions and a lot of love. Now her jealousy stemmed from reaping what she'd sown, the consequences of keeping their daughter a secret. Still, she wanted to capture every moment of Lily's life, as she didn't have any pictures of her own and often felt like she forgot the details of the people that mattered. She'd been snapping a picture of the pair walking hand in hand when, like a deer in headlights, Lale froze at the sight of Raleigh turning around and coming back to her.

"Crap, let me go get the..." She tried to cover, but then he was actually trying to talk to her, leaving her bumbling awkwardly at the front door. ""Crap, let me go get the..." She tried to cover, but then he was actually trying to talk to her, leaving her bumbling awkwardly at the front door. "Trust me, she wants as much time with you as you can give her. She's been waiting for that her whole life. I never..." Lale sighed, not wanting to ruin his Christmas be rehashing the fact that she'd kept Lily away from him while talking about him and him out of the picture completely. "If you want her with you, then she'll be with you, but only if you're sure. Do the guys know about her? She's going to be a tiny little fangirl. You know that, right?" It hadn't been a secret that Lale had never missed any of his fames and that Lily was a little Bruins encyclopedia.

Wrapping her arms around herself, partly from the cold and partly in her usual way of protecting herself, Lale shook her head. "I don't want to impose on your traditions. Lily wants to be here for you and for Santa. It would be selfish of me to tell her no if you want the time with her." She didn't need to explain that she directly meant she'd 'stolen' every prior holiday. "I wouldn't have something to wear to a Christmas party anyways. Lily's bag has dress and Christmas pajamas though. I thought she should have something nice if you wanted to take pictures." Before they could keep talking there was a loud thump that had their heads turning, Lale's heart jumping to her throat until she heard the little voice shout, "I'm okay!"

Even though it was not up to him, Raleigh cannot help the guilt he feels at not having been there for his daughter. The same feeling rises in his chest as he watches her deflate. His mind is already racing, and he doesn't realize Lale's eyes are on him until she waves him closer.

"Yeah, no problem. I'm sorry--It's not that I don't want her to stay," he says, sighing. Stepping back, he kisses Lily's head before setting her beside him. "Come on. I promise I'll make sure Santa knows that Pucky is here to take care of all your presents, okay?" Taking her hand, he lets her lead him further inside, but before they are halfway down the hallway, he pauses. "Why don't you show Pucky your room and get him comfortable? I'll be there in a second. I just have to talk to your mom."

She gets one more smile, and Raleigh watches her for another moment before he turns back to Lale. "The party tonight--it's not a party as much as it is a couple of younger guys on the team coming over for dinner. It's a casual thing," he says, remaining in his spot and twisting his fingers together. "What I'm saying is... I would hate to miss this with her if it's what she wants. I know she'll be here tomorrow morning, but--" But she called this her home, and he can still feel her tiny arms clinging to his neck. He thinks about his own Christmases growing up. The thought of giving Lily the same experience is too much to push aside.

"I don't mind her staying from now." Though, considering that he isn't sure how hard of a sell that will be, he is quick to continue. "You should stay too, if you want. I know she doesn't want to be away from you either, and like I said, tonight isn't a big deal."

[writermuses]

Lale's ever-watchful green gaze stayed on Raleigh until he looked at her. She could never seem to stop herself, her head and her heart still in a hammering tizzy after all this time. Seeing him hold their little girl, seeing Lily cling to him with comforted ease, made her feel like that empty space was finally full again... except she knew that she was to blame for why she was relegated to the periphery of Raleigh's life with Lily. Swallowing as she processed what he'd said, Lale nodded with a tight smile, not because she was disappointed in him but because she was to blame for giving into a child and bringing her here. Placing her hand on Lily's back, her pinky brushing Raleigh's hand and sending a shiver down her arm, Lale looked apologetically at the little girl. "I'm sorry, Lily. I should have called. It's my fault."

Wrapping her arms around her self as Lily held onto Raleigh more tightly, Lale tried to think of how to pry their daughter off of him and to the library. She chewed on her cheek and then reached out brushing Lily's hair from her face. "How about you tuck Pucky in here. Then we can tell Santa to go where Pucky is and that you pinky promise to go to sleep on time." It wasn't her best idea, the little girl never sleeping without that bear. Lale would take a night of holiday movies and hot chocolate over any conflict with Raleigh. "Can you do that for us, Lilylove? Please."

While she didn't know if Lily had a room here, she knew that, at minimum, he would let her tuck the bear into his own bed and not let anything happen to it. Her small hands held onto Raleigh more tightly, clearly disinclined to get down. Lale let out a slow sigh, mouthing 'sorry' at Raleigh before gesturing for him to bend down. She whispered in his ear. "Really sorry about this, Ral. Can you take her to do that and I put the present under the tree? Then I should be able to get her back into the car without a fuss." Her voice lacked confidence, but she was trying to be hopeful about resolving the mess she'd made without a fight.

Lily was obviously thinking about the plan and Lale knew that she was trying to think of a rebuttal. She was tiny and young, sure, but also a determined little fighter that loved who she loved with her whole heart. That clingy, snuggly nature was so Lily and it didn't surprise her to hear a reluctant 'okay' while also expecting a debate over leaving when they returned.

From the first day he met Lily, Raleigh knew that life would not be the same, and though he was worried about all the adjustments that would have to be made, it didn't take much to lean into the role of being a father and a co-parent. As much as he hates giving her credit, Lale made it easy to step into that role, working with his schedule and giving him access to their bright, strong, and eager daughter. It has already been months with Lily, but no amount of time will ever feel like enough to make up for what was missed.

Being his first holiday with a family of his own, Raleigh has been adamant about being a part of their traditions while not wanting to steamroll the life that Lily already knows. With his schedule, balancing both halves of his life has been difficult, but Lale's willingness to work with him means more than he is willing to admit to her. For example, knowing that he will be able to spend Christmas Day with Lily has him looking forward to getting through tonight, in which he is hosting his obligatory Christmas party for members of the team who don't have anyone to spend the holiday with.

It has been a day of preparations, and between getting ready for the party and getting ready for tomorrow, he has hardly had any time to breathe, let alone check his phone.

A heavy sigh blows past his lips as he stands to get the door, but any annoyance on his expression melts as both Lale and Lily come into view. "What... are you doing here?" He asks, a smile automatically finding its way onto his lips as he kneels to pick Lily up and hold her against his chest. "Merry Christmas, Angel." It isn't lost on him that she called this home, and his chuckles send a cloud of condensation through the air as one hand settles on his daughter's back. "Wait, you mean like... stay here tonight?" Glancing back inside his house, Raleigh's lips part as he considers his answer. "Sorry, I haven't had a chance to check my phone. We're--I'm hosting a party for a few guys tonight. It's a team thing," he says before directing his attention back to Lily. "I don't know how that would really work."