#ref: lale x raleigh

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closed starter for @erstwhles

Lale had given Raleigh every minute he wanted with their daughter. If she ever even caught a hint of him missing the little girl or hesitating to ask for more time, Lale would suggest it. She didn't want to impose on his life, but Lale still felt like she had stollen so much of his time with their daughter. July 29th felt like a lifetime away, the surgery had worked and radiation was started a few weeks later, lasting seven weeks. Seven long weeks of worry, weight loss, tears over tummy pain, and panicked mother hospital visits. Lily had missed the entire first semester of school and then her doctor suggested she continue with homebound schooling for the second quarter to build back her immune system. Luckily, Lily loved going to work with Lale, tucking away in various places in the library reading her way through whole sections of the library.

Somehow, Lale had managed to keep Raleigh from seeing the rent-controlled studio apartment they had moved into after their time was done with Christopher's Haven. The loud neighbors and sparse apartment hardly felt like 'home' but the pair were never there often enough for it to matter. The library had been the safe base for a peaceful transition of their daughter from one parent to the next, but Christmas Eve was going to change all of that because Lily was insisting that Santa could't find her if she didn't sleep at Raleigh's, where she'd be spending Christmas Day.

As her vintage van pulled up to the address, her text message still unanswered, Lale worried that he would be mad she'd shown up like this. It didn't stop Lily from unbuckling herself from the booster seat and climbing out to run full speed to the front door, leaving everything in the van except her beloved bear, Pucky. While Lily wore appropriate clothing for a Boston winter, Lale donned a cardigan over a sweater, under a thin zipping hoodie and jeans. She was already shivering as she knocked on the door. Leaving Lily's overnight bag and the presents she'd made and purchased for Raleigh in the car in case he had plans. "He wasn't expecting you, so you have to be patient. If he doesn't answer or says no. Then we'll go back to the library and we can use the computer to email Santa again. Ok-" The question hung on her lips as the door opened to reveal the man she still loved. "Merry Christmas, Raleigh."

Lale's whispered words were buried under squeals of delight, that joyous sound their daughter always made when she saw her dad. "Merry Christmas, Daddy! I came home so Santa can find me." Swallowing, Lale let out a slow exhale through her nose, trying not to be hurt by her daughter calling this beautiful place home. "Santa's too busy to read Momma's email. Right?" Lale's green eyes fell from their scan of the place back to Raleigh's familiar hands and how they so gently held their little girl who now tucked her face into the crook of his neck while her small hand hands played with the chain of his necklace. Once again Lale felt like she'd stollen so much from him and that she was just an imposter on his doorstep. "It's up to you, but... I tried texting." Lale did her best to put her smile back on, but her voice remained soft, as if she was closing in on herself. "It's really beautiful."

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Lale's eyes moved to Raleigh at his question about his journey to getting the Stanley Cup. Her mouth had opened to either apologize or explain, but it was Lily that piped in, "Well only the beginning. but Momma said you were going to finish it for me one day." Swallowing Lale nodded, throat dry, "I'm sure he will, but that doesn't have to be tonight though." It was Raleigh that got their daughter's mind off of begging for him to tell her the 'rest of' that story. "I love telling stories!" "Mmhm, you're even better at it than me." "But you have to lay down for a bedtime story, Daddy, that's the rules."

There was no arguing with Lily as she carefully extricated herself from the position she'd settled into. Lale popped up, holding the wires so Lily could do so seamlessly, and settled right back into her chair before Lily could lay down. Still, the little girl hadn't fully settled; alert and watching Raleigh with amazement and amusement until his chair was next to her bed and he seemed ready. Even then, she wouldn't start as her small hand reached over the edge of the bed for his. "Once upon a time, that's how all the bestest ones start, there was a little girl lost in a magical land with magical glittery snow. She was sad because she was so far away from home. It's scary meeting new people and she keeps walking, waiting for a nice friend to tell her how to get home." "Lily," Lale tried to interrupt, her heart racing because this wasn't a story her daughter was making up as she went. "Then she saw the handsome prince, Pucky! But that's spoiling... he wasn't dressed like a prince at all. He was in big silly clothes and moved like a knight." Lily held up her bear, tugging on his jersey onesie. "Swish swish, he's lightning fast and big and strong." Lily giggled at her own silly voices, before yawning again. "You finish it momma."

Lale chewed on her bottom lip and shook her head. "Daddy asked you to tell him a story." Lily didn't even turn her head, still watching Raleigh, but Lale felt like she was dying of embarrassment. She couldn't help but wonder if this man thought she was some obsessed stalker talking to their daughter about him all the time, when really it just felt easier to talk about some things in a dreamy what-if sort of sense; like she could heal her own hurt with Disney happy endings on the greatest loss of her life. "Pucky showed her how to go fast on the ice and hit her with the magic glitter snow so she could be strong and brave like him. Momma tells that part best, but..." "Lily." "What?" They both yawned and Lily's nose scrunched as she tried to remember the order of events. It was obvious she was moments from falling asleep when she tried to continue, her soft voice hardly above a whisper so that Lale was reading her lips, "She was too far to go home but isn't sad anymore because she learned home is people not places. Prince Pucky is peoples number one, but he makes her a princess so she can have a place to live happily ever after with him as he captains the next adventures fighting krakens and sharks and panthers."

It is too much—Lily clinging onto his shoulder and calling him Daddy, the nurse looking at him like he belongs here, the ease in which mother and daughter interact, making it all the more clear that he is completely out of his element. If Lily wasn't currently clinging to his neck, he would be tempted to excuse himself for a chance to gather his thoughts. Though he meant what was said in the family room, Raleigh hadn't considered falling so deeply into the role of co-parent right away. The last memories he has of his own family don't inspire much confidence as far as how to be a parent. He has no desire to look upon his own child the way his father looked at him, and with the excitement in Lily's eyes, how could he? She is warm and bright and though he is clueless as to how to act, she doesn't seem to be holding any grudges, so he holds her against his chest, hoping some of her optimism manages to rub off on him.

"The big cup adventure?" His brow narrows as he looks down at the way her little hand grips his fingers. From the corner of the bed, the bright gold of Pucky's onesie jumps into his line of sight, and Raleigh looks to Lale in recognition. When they first met, Lily made her allegiance to the Bruins clear, but he hadn't realized just how much their daughter knew or how much he existed in Lily's mind. "You know about that one, hm?" The feeling that rises as a result of that piece of information is confusing, drawing his eyes down to the hospital bed while he listens to the rest of the conversation. "No, I'm not a very good singer." He says finally, lips pulling into a bare smile. "I'd like to hear one of your stories. I don't think I've heard it before. I can tell you one after, if you're still awake."

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[ 𝐖𝐀𝐒𝐇 ] ― sender helps clean receiver after a long day / stressful situation / for lale from raleigh? i just know they were cute before everything fell apart

"That was so much- no, the most fun, I've ever had!" Lale grinned, still breathless from running around the arena. She immediately rushed toward him, wrapping her arms around his waist but pausing before she kissed him. Their paint-soaked clothes clung to each other and there was a streak of electric blue on his bottom lip. Screw it, she thought, standing on her toes and pressing her lips to his. It was hardly a kiss, Lale grinning and giggling too much at the state they were in. As the adrenaline started to wear off she could feel the sting where the paintballs had hit outside of the armor and for once she felt empowered rather than mortified by the pain of the prospect of color left behind. In fact, she could only laugh harder as she stepped away from him, her hands brushing down his paint-streaked arms with her own paint-streaked hands. Then, her laughter was swallowed up. "I know you said there were showers and to bring a change of clothes, but is it in my hair? They'll never let me in the house if they know." Lale swallowed at the sudden dryness in her throat, terrified of the wrath of her mother and stepfather. She'd already learned the hard way that her stepbrothers would go straight to them if she was caught sneaking in or out.

"We should clean up before it can totally dry, right?" Lale was putting her foot down on her fears, not letting thoughts of them ruin their date. Her fingers found Raleigh's and she grinned, tugging him toward the lockers they were told to store their property in. No one paid them any mind beyond a few compliments at Raleigh's aim and stamina. Lale was always very shy around people, everyone quick to judge her for the slight muddiness to her speech or the way she made herself as small as possible like that would help her become invisible. The thing was, she was never like that around Raleigh. It was easier here where she now had the CI for her left ear, though she hadn't initially wanted it, and the hearing aid for her right. Taking them both off and putting them in the bag after quick inspection they were paint-free, Lale smiled at him and took his hand, leading Raleigh toward the showers. She couldn't hear without them, though her right ear could tell sound was occurring, she was completely reliant on reading lips.

"This is nicer than I expect." Lale opened the door to the first private shower with it's door marked as available. There was a small benched space before a second, frosted glass door into the actual shower where a person could set their things and dress. Her fingers went to the zipper of the jumper, pulling it down, trails of slow-drying paint coloring her neck, sternum, and down her breasts. She let the suit hand at her hips, watching Raleigh as she reached behind her back and pulled at the strings of her bikini top. "Are you going to watch me shower or are you coming in with me?"

From the Five Senses meme for @erstwhles

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📸 / Lale for Ral

From this ask meme

The fact that she has no friends, just library co-workers, and no one knows who Lily's dad is but also people don't ask makes this one really hurt! I do think that she was too broke to have a decent phone when they were together, meaning she really doesn't have any pictures of them together in their youth. I've included the picture she gave Lily of Lale with "Daddy", that Lily keeps next to her bed (and yes, it's with her in the hospital) and the first picture Lale takes of Ral out with Lily. Obviously, I'm rooting for him to forgive her so that they can have a lot of pictures together 😭 🤌🏼

[writermuses]

"Am I being impatient?" Lale teased knowing she probably was. Backing into the shower, her muffled laughter could easily be heard despite the echo of water on tile. Raleigh was really the only person she was comfortable speaking with when she wasn't wearing her Cochlear Implant. The lack of speech therapy after her CI surgery and both of her parents not letting her use ASL meant that she almost always wrote when she took it off. As the warm water poured over her curves, she wiggled her toes and watched the swirls of color spiral down the drain. It wasn't until she closed her eyes and leaned her head back, running her fingers through her long hair that she remembered that thought about just how dangerous this could be for her, deaf and showering in a public place. Her eyes shot open as her pulse spiked but the door was closed and she could see Raleigh's silhouette through the distorted glass. Poking her head out she put a smile on despite her moment of panic. "In the side pocket of my bag, there's a little bottle, can you pass it to me." The travel sized body wash was her usual scent of plum and freesia, soft and feminine; and while she wanted to smell nice her brain went momentarily blank staring at her boyfriend. "The... um... the paint's coming off super easily."

continued (lale + raleigh) / @writermuses

In an afternoon full of laughter and mess, nothing can compare to the look in Lale's eyes. His heart is still drumming in his chest from both effort and fondness as his eyes land on her. With the paint streaked over his hands and his clothes, he is careful not to add to the artwork already covering her, which is harder to do as she kisses him and all he wants is to pull her closer. "None that I can see," he says, pulling away enough to give her hair a quick onceover. "I'll take a good look before we leave. I'd check now, but I don't want to get anything in your hair," he says, lifting his brow and his hands covered in paint. It doesn't take much to note the fear in her expression: a look that elicits as much anger as it does sadness, but just as quickly as the feelings settle, he is shaking his head. None of that gets to touch what has otherwise been a perfect date.

Only when they reach the showers does he release her hand in favor of opening his bag to make sure their clothes are easily accessible. By the time he looks back, Lale is only half-dressed and even from behind, he takes a moment to appreciate the paint dripping down the curve of her neck. Without her CI or hearing aid, he merely steps forward and lets his hands land on her hips, just above where the jumpsuit ends, and leans forward to press a kiss to the base of her neck. Then, still without saying anything, he gently pulls her hands to turn her around before beginning to undo the zipper of his own jumper. "Impatient. Give me a minute," he says, leaning down to pull the suit the rest of the way off before beginning to work on his own clothes. "You can start."

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Lily’s small hand reached out and cupped her father’s face. She giggled at the unfamiliar texture under her soft skin. “Daddy’s prickly and tickly, Momma.” Her fingertips wiggled over Raleigh’s five o’clock shadow and she continued to laugh a little louder before it melted into a yawn. The nurse had brought the other reclining chair and quietly told Lily to not get too loud, but she gave their little girl a wink before walking away. That was a thing here, finding the balance between letting the kids be kids, free to enjoy whatever parts of their childhood weren’t being taken away while still treating this like a place of rest and healing. “Are you still sleepy? Why don’t you try to get some more sleep before the surgery?”

Though she'd never been a fussy baby or a difficult child, Lily seemed to have bottled up all her little rebellions now. Her hand that had been touching Raleigh's face now held his arm and she buried her face in his neck. "No. I want a story." Lale doubted that, but the way that Raleigh was looking at her- or rather not, had her concerned that this was too much or that she was intruding on their time together. Either way, she wasn't sure what to do about it, retreating to her own chair and lining it up next to Lily's bed before pushing on the arrows that adjusted how far back it leaned or lifted the bast for her legs. "What kind of story do you want?" She patted the bed and pillows, trying to lure Lily back to a sleeping position. While she didn't push back again, Lily did slowly make her way back, though her small hand took Raleigh's or at least tried but led to her small fingers clinging to just one of his and refused to let go. "Daddy, can you tell me about the big cup adventure?"

The nurse had left a pillow and blanket folded on Raleigh's chair, otherwise Lale would have used it as an excuse to go grab one for him. Instead, Lale did her best to smile as she shook her head, laying on her side and watching them before falling on her back and staring at the tiled ceiling. "You already know how it started and you know it's a long story. Maybe we should do stories another time?" "What about the ice dancing story?" Lale buried her face in her hands, unsure if she was embarrassed or just terrified to look at Raleigh as their daughter was clearly asking for bits of their past. "How about a song?" "Daddy do you sing too?"

Lale had warned of their daughter's excitement, but Raleigh hadn't understood just what that meant until Lily surged forward, throwing her arms around his neck and talking to him as if they have been in each others' lives since the beginning. Briefly, he lets himself wonder what life would be like if that were the case, but the thought only results in more anger, and right now, he has plenty of that. As she curls on his lap, his eyes widen, arms still stiff even as they wrap around her. "I--" His heart thumps, uncertainty and nerves getting the best of him as he tries to think of anything to say. Nothing feels right, and all he can do is hope that time will make this part easy, though fondness is already swelling in his chest. "I came back," he says eventually, letting his cheek rest atop her hair.

Home. For a long time, Raleigh wasn't sure where that was, and as his eyes meet Lale's with the same anger behind his gaze, he knows that this isn't it. The little girl in his arms, however...

As the nurse double checks Lily's vitals and reviews the plan for surgery the following morning, he feels a familiar numbness run through his veins. Lily, so small and strong in his arms, is set to undergo major surgery and additional treatment to counter her condition. This is the first time he has ever held her and he only gets to do so for a few hours before she has to go. "I'll probably have more questions tomorrow before everything happens, but not now. Thank you," he says, looking back at Lily. In fact the only one that he hasn't properly looked at since settling behind the curtain is Lale, but if he was upset before, meeting Lily and seeing firsthand everything that he missed makes his anger even more potent.

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Lily was an amazing and amusing little thing, forever surprising Lale and her doctors with her joie de vivre. In one moment she was sleepy and fussy, the next her bright eyes were wide open. Like a fairy, too small to handle a plethora of feelings at once, her expression changed from shock to glee to elated tears. Lale could hardly stop their daughter when she sat up quickly and climbed right into Raleigh's lap. While Lily's little arms wrapped around his muscled shoulders, Lale was just as quickly reacting, making sure the cables didn't tug on her hands or tangle in the process. It was a task she'd mastered in their time in the hospital and Lale was glad that despite her exhaustion her reaction time hadn't been delayed. For the briefest moment Lale thought that Lily's crying was because she'd hurt herself, that the movement had caused pressure on the painful protrusion of her cancerous kidney, then she heard her. "Daddy, you came back. You're home. I missed you so much, Daddy."

While her own eyes were starting to fill with tears, Lale managed to take out her phone and silently capture a few pictures before either of them had looked her way. She wanted to hug them both, she wanted to apologize, she wanted him. That reality had her sniffling and turning away. No one had ever nor could they ever fill the void she'd created when she ran away. It wasn't simply that she hadn't broken up with him and neither was given closure, it was that Lale still loved him for all of the same reasons. He'd been a gentleman through and through, passionate with his craft and with her, and loyal. That loyalty, she hoped, he'd bestow on their daughter. It was Lale's confidence that Raleigh would have even before she was born that made her run, taking away his ability to decide to give up on his career for a family. Her right hand wrapped around the necklace she always wore, the one he'd given her for their first anniversary and her thumb rubbed at the underside of her ring finger where a small, faded tattoo of an 'R' and 'L' were inked into a 71. When Raleigh's eyes locked on hers all she could do was mouth, "I'm so sorry."

By the time the curtain was quietly pulled down, Lily's breathing had evened out, but she was still clinging to Raleigh like he'd disappear at the stroke of midnight. The nurse looked between the three of them concerned. "We're okay. She's fine, we're just very happy," She paused and swallowed but before she could backtrack, Lily ran over her words. "Happy daddy's here. We waited and wished and POOF!" But only one hand went up for Lily's razzle dazzle of magic, the other still wrapped around his neck, a tiny fist clinging to his shirt. The nurse wasn't bothered by that, running her checks and letting them know that in four hours the surgical team would check in pre-op and then nurses would come in with final meds before the surgery at six in the morning before asking if they had any questions.

With his phone tucked in his pocket and enough of the next day mapped out, Raleigh's steps are more energized until they round the familiar corner and the same curtain comes into view. Sitting in the family room, he had been so sure of his decision, but as he walks behind Lale and pauses just inside the makeshift room, it starts to feel that much more real. The truth remains: he has no idea how to begin being a father.

Lale approaches her daughter with practiced ease, her hand coming out to rub Lily's back in comfort. All he can do is stand there as he watches the display and an important distinction registers. He is her father, not her dad. That is a role that is going to take time and practice—two things that he does not have.

Clearing his throat, Raleigh crosses to the opposite side of the bed and takes the spot that was encouraged by Lale. His knees are stiff, shoulders straight as presses one hand flat against the hospital bed. "Lily?" His wavering voice comes only a moment after her confession. There is a tug in his chest at the little girl's sniffling, but he knows exactly how she feels. "I'd like to hear about your dream."