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#enough of talking myself into doing what I love everyday
floral-hex · 9 months
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Just canceled all of my future therapy appointments. Big fudgin’ bummer. Did I mention I lost my insurance? Didn’t even find out about that until the day it lapsed. Trying to find a way to fix it now, reapplying and whatnot, but ya know, it’s bureaucracy so who knows how long it’ll take. Just fingers crossed I don’t run out of meds first.
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lol it’s underwater 🐠
#ugggghhhhh so sad#like genuinely I think my therapist rocks#he’s the best one I’ve ever had. nice and cool but no BS and just harsh enough to push me#I feel like such a baby for saying it but literally the number one thing I’ve wanted these last few weeks was to go to therapy#I had to skip my last appointment so I haven’t seen him in weeks#between my mom’s organ transplant and driving back and forth to see her everyday and taking care of my bros aaand super suicidal birthday#I’m just… I’m tired. I want to vent. I just want to spill my guts for an hour and maybe cry a lot#and I can’t do that with anyone else. I know that’s dumb to say#I 100% can’t complain to my family because ya know I gotta be strong and they don’t need me being a burden#and I love my mutuals but I don’t know any of you anywhere well enough to feel comfortable venting#I mean. y’all can vent to me all day. I’ll gladly listen to you talk about yourselves. I’m here for it. I just can’t do it myself 😕#I’m so tired and anxious and I don’t want to really get into the self harm talk but I’ve had some serious self destructive thoughts lately#I don’t know what I’m going to do#I have to believe it’ll get better#because if I don’t believe that then… what’s the point?#also.. I’m really fucking lonely. just to throw that out there. if you can’t tell by my reblogs.#I am like desperately and ravenously lonely and full of longing#and you add that to everything else it’s just the sad little cherry on top…#now I want an ice cream sundae… mmmm….#I need 1000 hugs and to sit with someone and maybe get fucked up and complain and sit in silence and and and blegh#but that’s life. it’ll be… it’ll be whatever it is.#sorry. this is a bit too heavy for this time of morning#I’ve been sick. really bad vertigo and vomiting and I’m just wiped out and sad#but I love you stranger or at least I like you enough to be okay with you reading this#okay be safe#goodbye forever#text
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delicatetaysversion · 3 months
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sometimes i miss talking to that one person who didn't NEVER turned it into a competition about who has it worse and never told me well atleast you have [x]
#weirdly i think she was the only one#my irl bestie called and was ranting about her miserable life and#it's the exact same thing ive been going through for years her parents won't let her move to another city#she can't make friends here she hates it here her parents are being overbearing and don't understand the importance of socialising#with people her age and they tell her to just hang out with her family all day and don't give her privact#like. okay. i love her ive been listening to her complain about how her mom comes into her room sometimes. and just#i was okay listening to it okay im no judge for how someone's feeling and my bad might be their worst#but then she goes like well atleast you'll know you'll get to move out after you finish your degree for a job#like. wow okay. atleast you got to enjoy 3 years of college at the coolest city in india atleast you got to have vibrant life experiences#and learned so much about the world made tons of friends visited a hundred places had a boyfriend#went to clubs increased your netword learned how to be street smart and talk well#i hate to be resentful ofcoursr im happy for her and ofc i understand this is a hard time#but like god seriously. she'll never know what it feels like think you'll live your life as you pass 12th because they let your elder siste#go to college and she had the best times and then suddenly you're 17 and they twll you well actually we made a mistake and we won't repeat#it ever so you're just gonna stay home where we watch you 24/7 and ww won't even let you go to classes that have somewhat okayish people#because you can't have friends because they'll distract you from your studies#and she'll never know what it's like working towards a dream everyday that seems so fucking faw away and unreachable#when you're not even good at studying and especially focusing because yeah parents fucked you up majorly!!#like im sorry but try being completely hopeless and alone and isolated losing your friends one by one watching everyone#grow and find themselves as you rot in your room try to do better try to find happiness but it's impossible it's never enough#and try to study for a really fucking hard course in the middle of all that#and then tell me that atleast ill get to go out after i finish#like seriously try fucking living my life for one day and then talk#god i know ive become resentful and bitter because of a thing in my childhood but i don't know how to stop#ugh i never should've picked up the phone i was studying so well before that#anyway. i miss talking to that one person who was sensitive and sweet and encouraging always yk#i miss hearing i completely understand you because im going through the same things (def worse imo) and we'll get through this together#man.#chappell roan was so right actually i hate that i let this go on for so long now i hate myself
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medicinemane · 5 months
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It's just a fact that nothing I do matters or has any impact
I can prove it, and I do mean that
I wouldn't want to because I think it would bother people, but I have... endless proof
#functionally I don't exist#I exist only in the sense of a vague technicality in that I'm physically present and all the think therefore kind of trash#but I have zero impact or interaction with the world#it's not that unlikely that I'm a hallucination haunting a keyboard#a figment of my own imagination#...the only sad part is if that was true at least I could just stop dreaming myself alive#instead of having to take more concrete and failure prone measures#but I genuinely do not and never have existed#and I really can prove it a thousand times over#but... I think it would be upsetting to have it all laid out; so I never will lay out the proof#besides; even if I said every last thing that would just sink into the void too#... I could say a lot more but I won't#there's questions I'd love an answer to but... but there's reasons I can't ask them including I already have and never got a response#...shame I won't even have anything to drink on my birthday I don't think#...if only I could dissect myself and place myself in neat little piles for medical folks to use as parts#if only if only if only#what I wouldn't give for a crumb#mm tag so i can find things later#or less kindly; what I wouldn't give to be able to breath these feelings down the world's throat#see how you like it when lockdowns are enough to make you squeamish#just bitter on that one cause everyone talked big about how sad it made them... but not a shred of anything given my way#when that's just a normal day everyday forever for me#I literally forgot about lockdowns being a thing on a regular basis#my life then and life now are the same except I don't have to drive to the trailer to clean; just have to go to the storage room#so that's nice at least#but I see the exact same amount of people every day as I did then#you could make some money killing me you know; and I'd film a clip making it clear it's all my idea#only problem is I'd have to trust you with people I like despite you being willing to kill... but maybe I would if you get it's a mercy#eh... I can't even say what I really think... I should go to bed#and I can't even talk about the stuff that got me thinking on this
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there are bats flying above my house 🥰🥰 i love their little squeeks
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tojisun · 6 months
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so obsessed with the “my cock is big so it wont fit” / “try me” relationship dynamic ughhhh thinking about this with simon and reader, and how reader’s desperation made them spiral, makes me so giggly
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thinking about the way you finger yourself everyday to stretch yourself out for simon; preparing yourself for him. practicing for him.
it becomes a routine; it was mundane, almost, but every time the thought that you’re doing this for simon slithers its way back to the forefront of your mind, you lose yourself—doused in the tendrils of your desire, so powerful it has you clenching on your own fingers.
they never hit deeper, never stretch you out wider, but they scratch the itch to be stuffed and manage to satiate you long enough for the next day to roll by.
it’s a lot worse when you meet up with simon because your core throbs with need, leaving you crossing your legs to give yourself that muted relief. but it’s never enough, is it?
simon’s right there, voice thick like molten lava, viscous as it washes over you. “are you alright, love?”
and you lie, gritting your teeth and clenching your fists tightly, telling him that of course you’re fine. because what else can you say? “i dream of your cock so much that i fuck myself everyday as prep”?
if you do say that, simon won’t ever let you live it down. so you stay quiet, crossing-and-uncrossing your legs at every of his deep laugh or gentle crooning, trying your best to ignore the way his palm squeezes the muscle of your thigh. you wonder if he’s doing this on purpose by now because there’s no way simon actually does naturally talk like this—
it’s all teases and taunts as a whirlpool of petnames dribble from his quirked-up lips. he calls you, baby and darling. he calls you sweetheart and lovie. but then he also calls you pup, doll, pet—anything that makes you gasp, and quiet puffs of breaths wheeze out of your trachea in your own stupor.
“you seem distracted,” he murmurs, his voice a worried croon.
“uh-huh,” you say, not really listening, because simon’s hand is climbing up higher and higher on your thigh.
simon notices your stare, because of course he does, then does…
nothing.
he drops you off to your place that night, and leaves a kiss on your forehead before driving off. you watch from your living room window as he disappears from your line of sight before clambering towards your room, tearing your pants off your body and chucking your little slip of underwear behind you as you do so.
you sink into your plush mattress, knees braced by your softer pillows, before reaching behind you to plunge yourself with your fingers. two of them slide in easily, and you crook them just right until you’re mewling. moaning. crying.
simonsimonsimon—
your orgasm is a sharp rip of euphoric release. but the tidal wave of your ecstasy wafts off into its remnants just as quick because this, fucking yourself, isn’t the fix you want. it isn’t the fix you need.
(that said, making simon buckle was a lot easier said than done.)
you parted your legs yourself, planting your hands on the underside of your thighs to pull them open for simon. simon laughs when he saw this, his pale cheeks so flushed with his own desire.
“hurry,” you whine, all choked-up with your desperation, and simon only croons a warning.
“we need ta’prepare you, pup. i’m too big f’r you.”
his acknowledgment makes you leak, your wanton thoughts turning into slick that gushes out of you. simon laughs, so utterly endeared.
“i prepared myself, si! please put it in!”
simon sighs, crossing his arms over his chest. “i thought you wanted my cock?”
he waits for you to nod. you do so, careful, as your wet eyes look up at him.
“hmm. so listen to daddy, yeah?”
“okay,” you mumble, too overwhelmed to fight back.
simon smiles, murmurs his praises, and then he’s bringing his head between your legs. you squeak, surprise dotting your vision. you expected simon to prepare you, yes, but you expected his fingers—long, rough, thick—and not his tongue—
“siii-monnnn,” you keen, legs buckling from your hold until they tumble to his back, your strength getting zapped out of you at every lap of simon’s tongue.
it’s so good! so, so good!
simon takes over, hooking your legs over his shoulders himself as he burrowed deeper, nose grinding against the sensitive underside of your sex. his tongue pushes against your walls, sliding between them, and then simon sucks.
fuck! fuck—
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sorta pt 02
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hearts4chriss · 5 months
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𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒔 𝒎𝒚 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍.
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𝐉𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬!𝐁𝐒𝐅! 𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬 𝐱 𝐂𝐥𝐮𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬!𝐏𝐎𝐂 𝐛𝐬𝐟
prompt by this request: "chris getting jealous bc his bsf seems flirty with matt so he confesses his feelings and it ends with smuttttt”
contains: HELLA SMUTTT, Chris confessing his feelings, mad jealous Chris, dom!chris, suggestive, “flirting” w Matt??, Chris and yours first kiss, choking, spanking, degrading names (slut, whore yktv), MUCH dumification, use of pet names (mama, baby, sweetheart, good girl, pretty girl, sweet girl ), stomach bulge!, flashbacks of Chris fantasizing about you, overstimulation, cream pie, squirting, Chris having a massive cock obviously, missionary, slight m!oral, aftercare as always!! Heavy ( bath tg, praising, concerned!chris reassurance
a/n- this has been sitting in my drafts for a while so here it is
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For years, since we were kids. I’ve always had a huge crush on my bestfriend.
I couldn’t get over her no matter how hard I tried and it grew more and more especially since she lives in LA now and we see her almost everyday.
It got worse. So bad. I needed her
I remember seeing her in an orange bikini complimenting her gorgeous features. The way the bottoms hugged her curves making her ass pop out was enough to make me finish in my pants.
She was gorgeous, I wanted to have her badly but it was Nearly impossible fo get her alone.
Especially with Matt around. It pissed me off when I’d see them laughing together or making tiktoks.
That’s my girl
I remember sitting in my room scrolling on instagram when I got the notification she posted on her story
Fuck she looked so good.
the way the grey shorts hugged her ass just how I liked, she looked so gorgeous too.
I, unintentionally started palming myself through my sweats.
I couldn’t help it she had such an affect on me.
I pulled my sweats down revealing my boxers with a wet spot where my tip was.
“Shit”. I groan pulling them down fully as my dick slapped against my stomach begging to be touched, wishing it was her hand and not mine.
I began to stroke myself with shaky hands imagining it was her lips wrapped around me and I throw my head back against the pillows as my mind wandered
She was irresistible, I had to have her.
We always had a flirty thing going on and I didn’t think it would get this far.
Until…
Today was on of those days where I was in the kitchen leaning on the counter drinking a Pepsi pretending to watch TV as I listen to her faint giggles as her and my fucking brother watched TV.
I felt my hand tighten around the can as I saw how close they were, knowing he didn’t like her but I didn’t care. I wanted her all too myself.
I sighed throwing my can out coming up with an idea to figure out a way to get her for me.
Matt and nick going to get food.
“hey Matt, wanna go get some food? Y/n likes this Chinese place it’s about an hour away, nick prob wants to go”. I say smiling with a cocky grin and he rolls his eyes.
“Okay fine I’ll be back in like 4 fucking hours nick let’s go!”. Matt tells and Nick comes downstairs.
“Y/n, you’re so lucky we love you”. Nick says sarcastically and they walk out the house but fuck something about the way Matt looked at her before he left just made me more pissed off.
“Chris?”. I stand up adjusting my shorts as the grey material rolled up my ass and my tank top hugged around my tits the watching Chris’s eyes wander.
“What the fuck are you trying to do to me”. Chris mutters into my ear, his hand wrapping around my neck and my breath hitches.
“W-what are you talking about?”. I shudder as his blue eyes pour into mine with an unhappy expression giving me a pity laugh.
“Flirting with my brother in front of me? Seriously?! Is it not obvious how much I want you?”. Chris confessed his nose touching mine making me gulp, my thighs closing together accidentally.
There was no doubt Chris was attractive but hell if I knew he liked me shit I’d probably let him fuck me or something.
“You? Want me?” I said slightly confused and utterly shocked and he takes a deep breath.
“you have no fucking idea how much I want you, and I have no problem showing him that your my girl”. Chris gave me a sly smile picking me up by my ass carrying me downstairs to his room.
“C-Chris wait-“. I was cut off by him kissing me and I melt into his touch. His hands grip my ass tighter making me gasp, his tongue massaging mine as I moan into the kiss.
“Strip”. He demands standing me up and I tilt my head. And he gives me those eyes and immediately comply beginning to peal of my clothes leaving me in a matching set of orange. Chris’s favourite colour.
“Fuck ma you look so pretty..all for me right?” He asks his hands playing with my bra strap making my panties dampen.
“Yes Chris- all for you”. I match his gaze and he smirked pushing me on the bed as I scooted back leaving him room to climb above me.
“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to fuck you”. Chris leaves a soft kiss to my cheek practically ripping my panties off me and I squirm.
“Chris! I liked those!”. I whine and he rolls his eyes pulling down his sweatpants and boxers in one movement and his thick, and painfully hard cock springs out hitting his stomach and my heart beat picks up
how the fuck was that supposed to fit inside me?
Chris took in my nervous expression and let out a soft laugh placing his hands on my thighs
“Spread ur legs for me”. He taps my legs and I spread them apart revealing my wet pussy, the arousal glistening on my inner thighs.
he runs a finger along my slit and I jolt slightly at the sudden sensation.
“shit- ur so wet, did i make you like this? Or was it my brother”. Chris asked tilting his head, his jawn clenched ans my breath hitched as he continued moving his finger.
“No answer? Guess I’ll fuck the answer out of you”. Chris pressed my legs against my chest before slamming his cock deep inside me, stretching me out painfully I almost couldn’t take it.
“f-fuck Chris! T-too much!”. I stutter trying to push his hand away but he quickly slaps it away, using my legs as leverage to begin pounding my inside me.
Chris didn’t give me time to adjust to his large size, tears already forming on my eyes from the pleasure.
“shit- your pussy feels so good, better than I’ve imagined”. He let out a deep groan watching how my pussy sucked him in, Chris’s hips driving into mine as I squint my eyes shut.
“Already becoming a mess on my cock? Should’ve kept matt here so he could see how much of slut you are for me”. Chris grips my neck angling his hips to thrust deeper and I squeal, my eyes meeting with his blues, an electric feeling shooting through me.
He wouldn’t let up his pace, his cock plunging into my tight hole as the pain turned to pleasure thankfully as my cunt morphed to fit his dick.
And Chris was fucking right, I was a slut for him and I has tried to hide it this whole time by being innocent and flirtatious with his brother but the second I was underneath him, I was begging for him to touch me
“Oh shitt- d-don’t stop- fuck”. I throw my head back on the soft pillows, moaning curses breathlessly, my tits bouncing with his quick and hard movements, bound to leave bruises between my thighs burning with sensation.
“mmph fuck- wasn’t planning on it pretty girl”. He moaned, completely infatuated with how I wrapped around him perfectly, like I was made for him. And shit- was he made for me.
She felt so good, almost as if her pussy and every thing about her was made for me.
I couldn’t get enough of her, the Moans and squeaks of my name leaving her swollen lips could’ve made me cum on the spot.
the way she could barley form a sentence as I fucked her, and I wasn’t even close to being done with her yet.
I was going to make sure she knew that she was mine, my fucking girl.
“Chris-you feel so good”. She moaned my name again, turning me on much more than it should’ve, the way her eyes barely opened, and how she’d bite her and stare at me grasping her breasts.
“yeah? you like when I fuck you dumb like this? Can’t even get a word out?”. I taunt, I gripped her neck tighter, her legs finding their way up on my shoulders crying out my name like it’s the only one she knew.
I couldn’t even answer, the things he were asking me required my full attention and shit- I was so far gone.
“I suggest you answer me ma because your about to to cum”. Chris presses his chest on mine, our noses touching as he breathed heavily into my mouth while I reciprocated the same action.
“mm-m I-fuck I-i love it”. I shudder on each word, praying he heard me because I really could not talk right now. I squeezed my eyes shut and he chuckled seeing how speechless he fucked.
“God I could listen to you like this all day”. Chris grunted into my ear as I felt the stomach coil I had began to burst unexpectedly from the overwhelming pleasure.
Chris made me squirt
“S-shit! I’m sorry I-“. I shook as the fluids made a mess over his lower stomach but gasping as he didn’t slow down.
“Never apologize that was hot as fuck- got one more in you?”. He pants resting his head on my shoulder quickening his pace and I whimper gripping his back.
“Oh god Chris- I-I can’t”. My nails run down his back making marks and he bites his bottom lip as I pulled him closer.
His hips pushing into mine, as my juices had coated his cock, leaking out of me creating a wet sensation of our sex.
“You can take it baby, being such a good girl, fuck just one more”. He let out a shaky moan throwing a my leg around his waist and I let out a loud moan at the angle Chris’s cock hit, brushing my g-spot.
“C-Chris ur so deep-“. I let out pornographic sounds and he gave me a deep kiss before pressing his hand where his dick was poking through.
his hand pressed down on the bulge in my stomach and I felt the tears run down my face from the overwhelming pleasure.
“that’s all me baby- fuck I love ur pussy so much-“. He stutters throwing his head as hair sticks to his forehead, the sight was more than appealing.
His slightly parted lips producing whimpers, curses and moans of my name. The way he squeezed my hips making sure I could feel every thick inch of him and the sweat coating over his body.
Her lips parted releasing pants and moans of my name and the occasional “fuck”, her hair now sweated out with hickeys along her neck and tits reminding her that she was mine now. The way her nails would grip my back drawing marks that showed how much she enjoyed it.
“Oh shit- ma- can I cum inside you? M’need you so bad-“. He moans into my neck and I shiver and chant yes’s.
Chris released his seed inside me triggering a second hard orgasm for me, creaming his dick as my body shook.
I turned my head to lay on the pillow before he could catch a glimpse of me, slowly sliding his cock out of me.
He took one look at me and his eyes immediately shifted to one of concern
“wait wait shit- did I hurt you?”. Chris started, seeing how my legs shook from the orgasm I just had.
“please talk to me”. He cupped my cheeks and I gave him a soft smile.
“I’m fine Chris that was- shit- the best sex I’ve ever had”. I let out a quiet sigh and a smirk tugged at his lips as he pulled me into a bridal style hold.
“Well come on let’s get you cleaned up, I wanna spend time with my girl”. He giggled like a child and I rolled my eyes as he carried me into the bathroom running a warm bath for both of us
“No seriously tho your okay?”. He said softly rubbing my shoulders as we soaked in the warm tub.
“Chris the way you put that dick on me I’m more than ok”. I kissed his cheek and his cheeks flushed a bit as he leaned back against the tub whilst I’m in his arms.
She’s really my girl.
@sturniolopowers @gdsvhtwa @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @worldlxvlys @chrisslut25 @princessbetsy123-blog @mattslolita @guccifrog @blahbel668 @mattsneezing @trickywritters @hearts4chriss @nonamegirlxsturniolo @luvmxtt @theyluv-meee @hoesformatt @luv4kozume-deactivated20240512 @kikisturnioloo @itzdarling @pepsiimaxx @babyddolly @iiheartstef @junnniiieee07 @vanteguccir @ast3ro1dzz @sturniolowhore @st7rnioioss @emma4eva @braindead4l @ihearttsyouu @kqyslyho3 @imaslut4kehlani @sturnsfav @sunsetsturniolos @sturniololoverr @gamermattsgf @lilyloveschris @dlyansworld @chrisloyalgf @soimightlikeoldmen69 @abbie13sworld @ineedchriscock @sturniol0s @chrissgirlsstuff @luhsexcbihh @nickgetsmewetter @rubyjaneaxx @love4chris
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lidiasloca · 22 days
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Ok this one of my ideas not sure if I have actually read it before or if it was a fever dream. Az has a girlfriend/ mate that the inner circle hasn’t met before.she works with marja as a high and has maybe other powers I don’t know. I have 2x options in which to take this idea. 1. Azzy gets very hurt on a mission and his brought to you to fix him. Very emotional IC and reader. They save him blah blah. 2. Some of the healers are working on so far out town. Az was cutie and like don’t go. She was like boo you go all the time I going to help people. Love you be back soon. But while they are there they are kidnapped by someone ( you pick). Word gets back to Marja who tells Rhys and Az happens to be there. Az freaks out when he hears our name on the list of miss. Blah blah.
totally cool if you don’t wanna use. It is just an idea.
azriel being worried about you going on a mission
azriel x reader
fulff
a/n: i ain't really not for angst these days, so i only took the beginning of your second idea, hope u dont mind :)
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“You will not go,” Azriel sates, and his voice is so commanding and serious you stop in your tracks. 
“Azriel, we’ve been through this. I’m a healer. This is my job.”
“No, your job is to heal people being safe,” he explains as if you were stupid. You know he means well, but you are growing more irritated by the moment. “Your job is not putting your life in danger.”
“Well, saving lives in the middle of a war comes obviously with my life being in danger.”
Giving him your back, you continue packing all you need for the journey. You hear his footsteps getting closer, then his hand is on your back, gently stroking. “Y/N. Please,” and it sounds enough of a plea for you to turn and face him. 
“Azriel, you constantly put yourself in danger. Almost everyday I have to see you leave to work, with no assurance you will come back.”
His eyes drop to his feet in defeat. “I know, and I know it’s not fair for me to ask you this. But - I simply don’t care.” He watches you again, a spark of confidence and hope settles in his eyes. “I cannot risk loosing you, and the risk of loosing you is higher than yours is to lose me on a mission.” When he catches your frown, he adds, “You must give me this; I know how to defend myself better than you in the battlefield.”
You let out a soft chuckle, the seriousness of before fading a bit as a timid smile blooms on his face.
But your mind is made up. “Azriel,” you sigh. “I must go still.”
His lips close to a thin line, worry back in his face. He takes your hands in his scarred ones. You are to hear his angry pleads again, but to your surprise, he simple answers, “Alright.”
You open your eyes wide in astonishment. “Alright?”
Your mate grins before adding, “Alright.” And that grin means two things. Trouble, or planed trouble. 
“What is your mind up to, Az?” you ask accusingly, as if he was no more than a kid planing mischief. 
His grin grows more teasing. “Nothing, nothing,” he says as he turns to your travel trunk, putting things. His things. “It’s just that I'm going with you.”
“What?”
“What?” he says, totally unfazed by the situation. “You need protection. I want to know you are safe. You are no good with a sword, yet excellent healing people. I’m quite good with a sword. I think it’s a perfect plan.”
“You miss that Rhys has assigned you a mission in the Spring Court. Tomorrow.”
He looks at you, looking at you as if what you’ve said it’s dumb. “I don’t remember that.”
“Yes, you do.”
“Love,” he says, and his voice is serious again. “Please. I beg you, don’t make me suffer like this. Let me accompany you. I will talk to Rhys and he will understand. He knows how terrible it is to know your mate is in danger, no mater how strong or brave she is. And you are, but I am not strong enough to spend every second of the following days not knowing if you are safe.”
You sigh, now you are defeated. “Alright.” He smiles triumphantly, so you are quickly to add sternly, “But no scaring anyone that comes near me, understood?”
“Yes, ma’am,” and he has that teasing smirk on his face again. 
-Characters by Sarah J Maas
HEY! IF YOU LIKED THIS, YOU CAN CHECK OUT MY AZRIEL MASTERLIST HERE <3
and you can also request any fic idea you have through my inbox so i can write it down :)) i much appreciate requests for azriel and other acotar characters
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risuola · 3 months
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ENTRY #15 ♡ F. READER X GOJO SATORU // I love the way you kiss me.
contents: arranged marriage!au, tooth-rotting fluff, kisses (duh) — wc. 994
a/n: i just can't help myself, i love fluff with this man
series masterlist
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Satoru loves morning kisses.
Your lips like a warm ray of sun graze the skin of his cheek, a feather-like brush that makes his heart do backflips in his chest. You’re a bliss that coats his years-troubled soul in honey, you’re sweet on his tongue. You’re his favorite taste, his most beloved candy, you’re all he’s ever wanted and had no idea he needed. Your kisses are soothing, they are a melody he wants on repeat, they are the kick of power that gets him going every day.
He’s convinced you do magic — he feels the sparkles bubbling in his skin whenever your lips press to his cheek or forehead. Shivers run down his spine when he feels your nose against the side of his neck. And it’s so innocent. You’re like an angel that’s taken him under your wing, you gave him hope and he wants to worship you. He wants to thank you for changing the life he’s deemed meaningless years and years ago. You brought light into his darkness and showed him the way when he was lost.
You kiss him quickly and he thinks that you can’t tell how much it means to him. You kiss him so naturally, as if you truly love him and sometimes he wonders if he’ll ever be able to earn all the feeling you offered him. It’s a peck, nothing more, but it’s enough for his heart to swell in his chest, bloom like a flower that he wishes to give you. And then, you’re going about your day, making breakfast or coffee, brewing tea and pouring honey and he tries to help you, show you how much he cares, how much he loves you. He’s stealing touches — soft brushes of your arms, little bumps of your hips against his, the gentle nudges and swipes whenever you reach for the same thing or pass next to each other. Yeah, he cherishes all of those and sometimes he earns himself another kiss from you. Sometimes you press your lips against him again and if he’s really lucky, you’d kiss his lips. Then you’re chuckling, patting his chest and swatting him away because once he gets you in his arms, he’s not willing to let go.
The way your body melts in his arms is enough of a reason to kiss you more. He likes to trap you against the kitchen counter, to sit you up on the table or pull you onto his lap. His long arms wrap around you, he wants to feel your heartbeat, he wants to feel you squirm in his grasp and vibrate when you purr or giggle. When he’s feeling particularly needy (everyday), he’s having you wrapped around his waist, your delicious thighs hooked onto his hips and his hands comfortable on your butt as he gets lost in the sensation of your tongue. And then you’re tugging his hair and biting his lip, telling him that the tea is getting cold and the food is drying out and he couldn’t care less when he lounges forward once more, capturing you in another searing kiss.
Then, Satoru is late for work and you barely make it on time. You apologize and he’s sheepish about it. Satoru loves his morning kisses.
And he loves the late-night ones too.
The ones when both of you are after work, not caring about the world anymore and focusing on the warmth. He’d have you close to his chest, on the couch. His mouth works lazily against yours, slow and sensual as the tv hums in the background — yet another episode of the series that none of you follow enough to know what’s going on in the plot. It’s dark outside and in the room, the screen casts an eerie glow on you and him as he keeps you in his arms and he doesn’t rush it.
You’d have your forehead against his, your noses brushing back and forth and he loves the subtle intimacy it brings. Your dainty fingers dance along his nape, nails brush through his undercut teasing his sensitive skin. You talk quietly, murmuring little stories about how the day went — all between the soft pecks and passionate kisses. And he’d tell you he loves you; his mouth moves on his own as his breath carries the words, delivering them straight from his heart and into your skin — he wants to engrave them onto you, he wants you to know that he cherishes you more than he’s capable of showing. That he loves you more than he’d ever be able to put in words and then, he’d thank you for saying it back because he thinks he doesn’t deserve it. You think he’s cute and assure him that he is more than enough, kissing him to prove your point.
He loves the late-night kisses. The ones when you’re in bed with him, your faces millimeters away as he admires your beauty in silence. You’re sleepy and don’t talk much anymore but he devotes his last moments of consciousness to take you in. His palm cradles your cheek and his thumb runs over your lid and down the bridge of your nose until it reaches the ups of your lips and he stops there. He feels the softness of your lower lip underneath the pad of his finger, he makes your mouth part slightly and feels the warm breath escaping them.
He brings his lips towards yours and a soft purr rumble in your chest — the kiss is gentle, just barely a touch but he’s content with it. It’s warm and plush, lips brushing against each other in the feather-like dance. There’s no tongue or teeth, there’s no rush or urgency. It’s a silent goodnight and he feels the sleep slowly taking him away. Satoru moves higher, kissing the tip of your nose and your forehead and you use your last movements to nuzzle into his neck as he nuzzles into your hair.
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fantasyandshit · 5 months
Text
Replaced
Type:two shot
Part: 1/2
Part two here
Masterlist here
Pairing: Azriel x reader
Based off of this request
Hope this is heart breaking enough anon!
Trigger warnings- slight mention of ED behavior, torture, and implied violence
I stare out at the gardens, I used to think they were beautiful, I tended to them everyday, watered and checked all the plants, made sure the soil was perfect and they got the proper mix of shade and sunlight. I walked in them, sat on my bench under the giant cherry blossom tree and read my book. The gardens were always my space my place. I loved those gardens, always marveled at their beauty.
But not now. Now as I stare out at the gardens I’m disgusted by what I see, I hate the new flowers and the soil. I hate looking at it and I refuse to walk in it. I hate that my family simply gave my place to her. That Azriel gave it to her. That he sits out on my bench all cuddled up with her. Deep down I think that’s what disgusts me. Seeing him with her. No. Disgust isn’t the right word. It makes me sick, fills me with agony that spreads through my bones and boils in my blood. Sends jealousy spiking through my body like bolts of electricity.
When the middle Archeron had come into the family with her older sister- it was fine, everything was fine. My family was happy and although I always felt off about the female, I was civil. It was fine as my family turned to them, it was fine. They needed time and attention, like new animals. I let my family give them that. It was fine when I was asked to let her work in the gardens she ‘loved so much’. It was all fine.
It was all fine until they asked me to let her simply take over the gardens, ‘just so she can keep distracted and busy whilst adjusting’. It was fine till I came crying to Rhys about a vision I had, one of the first in nearly a month- I had seen something, I heard people screaming and blood everywhere, but ‘Elain hasn’t seen anything. It’s fine.’ It was fine till Azriel- my best friend for the last 500 years, the male I harbored feelings for. The male I loved for at least 450 years, turned to her. It was fine till she became all consuming. It was fine till ‘Elain needs me Yn.’ ‘Yn I have to go- Elain needs me right now. You know this is hard for her.’ ‘ Yn, stop being selfish- Elain needs me.’
It was fine till she became all consuming. Till no one listened to me, till Azriel- my mate, the man I loved with all my soul, left me for her. Turned a cold shoulder and left me. Till my family soon wrapped around the sisters and I lost them all.
Now I stare out at the gardens I once loved with disgust, nearly puking at the sight of the two cuddled up together, laughing about cauldron knows what. Now, as a headache comes on, the ones that always do before a vision, I simply slouch back in side, going to lay down on a couch. I want these seeings gone. No one cares anyway. If it doesn’t come from Elain Archeron, it means nothing. I mean nothing.
And it is now, as I lay myself across the chair that it truly sets in. He loves her. They love her. She is better. She is more beautiful and interesting and soft and she isn’t tarnished from years of fighting as I am, she is not the crazy woman I have become. She is Elain, she is all things soft and sweet, she is radiant and all consuming, she is powerful and all seeing. But most of all, she is the one Azriel wants. Not me. Her. He wants Elain Archeron.
———
I walk to the dining room for dinner, my head is a bit foggy and my eyes hurt. I keep my gaze down as I sulk into the room and take a seat next to Morrigan who talks idly with Feyre. It’s as if I’m invisible, no one even looks up to me as I walk in or sit, but of course, as soon as Elain comes in, everyone turns to her, conversations stopping. I simply look to my plate, fidgeting with my hands.
As everyone serves up their food, I sit, I’m not hungry. Plus, Elain is thinner, I want to be pretty like her and I have to be skinny to be like her. “Why aren’t you eating Yn?” Mor’s voice filters through my ears and it takes a moment for me to process them.
In a scratchy tone, caused by not using my voice, I reply. “Just not hungry I guess. Visions take it out of me.”
“You had a vision?”
“Yep. Third one of today.” My family pauses at that.
“Third? Today?” It’s Rhysand this time as his brows draw inward.
“Yes, they’ve been happening more and more often, I’m having at least 2-3 a day. I just want to rest.”
“Why haven’t you told me about them?”
“Because of two reasons. Rhysand.” His name is a hiss off my tongue as I speak, finally loosing my cool, “One, you would not care nor listen, haven’t for a single one of my seeings in the past month. And two- starting tomorrow I will no longer be working for this court.”
“What do you mean by that? Not working under this court?”
“I received a letter from Eris- he is ready to execute his plan to take over the autumn throne tonight and I shall be there tomorrow morning to begin my duties as his second in command.” The table is frozen, mixes of horror and sadness painting my ‘families’ faces.
“But-Yn you wouldn’t betray us like that would you?”
I can’t hold back the humorless, dry, laugh that leaves me. “Betrayal? I have Betrayed you?” My head whips to meet Rhysands as I stand and back away from the table. “Rhysand I have done nothing but support you. I was there for you three-“ I point to the three Illyrian males at the table, “in the war camps, I have been here sense we were learning to fly! I was there under the mountain! I lossed my gods dammed wings for you Rhysand. For you! Because you were my family.” Tears begin pouring down my face as I let everything I had bottled up out, “ I was there to support Mor after Eris’ ‘terrible acts’ and I kept my mouth shut about it being a half truth.” I look to the blond across the table who try’s desperately to avoid my gaze.
“I was there on the battle field. I told you my seeings no matter what they were. I stayed as I watched my family replace me, as I watched the man I loved fall for another over and over again. I stayed as my things were taken from me by her.” My finger points to the middle Archeron, Azriel moving slightly in front of her, “I have stayed as my family was ripped from me, I stayed and supported all of you even as my so called family replaced me, as the male I’ve loved as long as I’ve known him, as the male I have loved with my very soul, my very being, my mate.” I look into Azriels warm eyes, “left me for another, as my mate and my family left me in the dust for a new shiny toy.”
I breathe as I take a moment to survey the room, faces filled with shock and horror and sadness watch me. “So yes Rhysand.” It’s a sigh this time as I speak, tired, downright exhausted, “yes, I am leaving. But I am not leaving anything behind. I was already a ghost here anyway. I am leaving and taking my seeings and duties with me. You do not listen to them anyway, it will be no use to you.”
I snap and bags fall into my hands, I turn to the door, silence filling the room, “your my mate?”
“Yes Azriel- I am.”
“Yn wait let me-“
“Save it Rhysand.” I turn on my heel, “ I am leaving to a new kingdom, one that has much potential under their new leader. I am leaving to a court that I see thriving, I am leaving from the court I see crumbling- and it will not be my fault when it does.”
I turn back to the door, a gust of wind hitting me as I step out, taking the hands of the new high lord of autumn. Ignoring my family’s pleas and Azriels yells as I am taken back home.
—————
Okkkkk here it is! I hope you all enjoyed and thank you anon for the request!! Love y’all!
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7ndipity · 1 year
Text
“You Broke Me”
Yoongi x Reader
Summary: Just clingy, fluffy Yoongi after Reader comes home after a month-long trip
Word Count: 1k
Warnings: Suggestive, Swearing, not proofread
A/N: Thanks to the lovely anon who requested this! I got a little carried away with this one, so it is just nothing but tooth-rotting fluff. I hope you like it!
Masterlist
Requests are open
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You weren’t surprised when Yoongi insisted on picking you up at the airport, even though you told him that he didn’t have to, that you could just get a cab home so he wouldn’t have to risk being spotted, but he wouldn’t hear of it. He’d been telling you for days that waiting at home would have driven him crazy and that he wanted to see you as soon as possible.
In previous relationships, Yoongi had never really considered himself to be the needy type, but something about you had changed him drastically in that department. Now, he didn’t care if it made him sound melodramatic, the last three weeks without you while you were overseas visiting family had been absolute hell for Yoongi.
Later, as you walked through the terminal, it was easy for you to spot him. Even with the bucket hat and mask hiding his face, you could’ve recognized him anywhere, eyes scrunching up in a smile as he watched your steps begin to pick up speed until you were practically running to him.
As soon as you were close enough, he pulled you into a crushing hug, an audible sigh leaving him as he hooked his arms tightly around you.
“Hi.” You giggled.
“Hey.” He said, burying his face in your neck.
You let yourself relax into his hold, closing your eyes in contentment. After having gone nearly a month without his touch, the warmth of his body against yours felt like absolute heaven.
Eventually, you started to pull away in order to see his face, but he tightened his grip to keep you where you were instead. “Just a little more.” He muttered.
You chuckled. “Yoongi, people are looking.”
“I don’t give a fuck.” He grumbled, squeezing you more to prove his point.
After another long moment, he finally released his hold on you, pulling back just enough to cup your face, his eyes dancing with happiness as they met yours.
“Ready to go home?” He grinned.
“So ready.”
He quickly helped you wrangle all your luggage together before heading to the car, making sure to keep one hand free in order to hold yours as you walked.
On the ride home, you talked about your flight and the trip, his hand never leaving yours for more than a few seconds, letting them rest together on the center console.
Once you got home, he quickly set your bags down by the door before turning and dragging you to the sofa, pulling you down so that you were straddling him.
“What are you doing?!” You squealed.
“Catching up.” He said simply, pressing a quick kiss to your lips. “I have been neglected for an entire month, it’s a miracle I haven’t shriveled up and died.”
“We talked literally everyday.” You pointed out.
“ ‘s not the same, and you know it.” He groaned, letting his lips drag along your jaw before returning to yours, silencing any further potential argument or teasing.
Although Yoongi was normally quite physically affectionate with you, you weren’t used to Yoongi being this needy and insistent, though you weren’t complaining by any means, following his lead as he turned his head slightly to the side to deepen the kiss, your fingers having slipped into his hair and giving a slight pull, earning a pleased sound from him.
At this moment, however, your stomach decided to announce itself, much to your embarrassment and Yoongi’s amusement, earning you one of his breathy laughs as you separated.
“Have you eaten?” He asked.
You shook your head. “Not since this morning.”
“Aish, no wonder your stomach’s complaining.” He said, sitting up more and rummaging for his phone. “Here, I’ll order us some food and then help you unpack.”
“You don’t have to do that, I can do it myself.” You said.
“Humour me, would you?” He frowned at you, making you laugh this time.
The two of you made quick work of unpacking your suitcases, chucking clothes into the wash and putting the rest of your things back into their usual places around the house.
As you were unpacking the last bag, he came over and wrapped his arms around your waist, hugging you from behind as you continued.
“Are you okay?” You finally asked, still thrown by his uncharacteristic clinginess.
“Mmm, just missed you.” He mumbled, resting his chin on your shoulder.
“Yeah?” You said, glancing back at him, biting back a grin as you took in the positively love drunk expression on his face.
“Mhm, so much.” He hummed, burying his face in your neck as he spoke. “Turns out I can’t sleep without you.”
“Oh no.” You cooed, turning around in his hold to cup his face.
“Yep, I think you broke me.” He pouted, making you chuckle.
“Well, if it makes you feel any better, you’ve broke me too. Here.” You held out a dark grey hoodie that had been tucked at the bottom of the case.
“I’ve been looking everywhere for that!” He exclaimed, snatching it and looking at you in disbelief. “You little thief!”
“It smelled like you.” You explained quietly, avoiding his gaze as you felt your face heat up self consciously.
You were expecting one of his usual teasing remarks, what you received instead, however, was him tackling you to the bed, pressing more kisses to your face and neck.
“You’re really fucking cute, you know that?” He said. “I can’t fucking stand it.”
The fact that you had stole one of his hoodies should’ve annoyed him, normally it would’ve, but in the moment all he was thinking was that it showed how you had missed him, and knew that your were going to miss him, making his own longing for you seem justified, even though it didn’t need to be.
“I love you, so much.” He said, slightly out of breath as he stared down at you.
“I love you too.” You replied, smiling up at him.
“Promise you’ll never leave me for that long again?”
“I promise.” You swore, kissing his nose and making him chuckle.
Just then, the doorbell rang, making you both jump slightly in surprise.
“That’s probably the food.” You reminded him.
He let his head droop down against your chest, letting out a low whine. “I wasn’t done yet.”
“We have all night.” You giggled, patting his head gently before nudging him to get up.
You had all the time in the world.
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vixeneptune · 1 year
Text
A message from your future self 💌
""you did it. You literally have it all and I mean EVERYTHING you've ever wanted and more. You manifested that dream life, that dream house, that dream partner, there's so much more in store for you and you don't even know it yet! I mean the things you're gonna experience are beyond what you can even imagine rn like it's so much better. YOU are soooo much better!
I'm telling you from where I am at, I look around me and see everything I've ever envisioned for myself. I'm chilling in my dream house, abundance all around, looking at myself in the mirror with my desired face and body😍. I see my life partner who worships the ground I walk on, he's EXACTLY my type (yup you manifested him and everything went better than you think rn) he literally adores you, he gives you flowers everyday and makes you the happiest. This man will do anything for u fr.
Girl the love you're about to experience is unreal. Also the glowup you're about to have?? Ohmygod you age like fine wine.. Or more like.. You never age you just keep looking younger and prettier like howww. People wonder what your secret is. I swear it's like I never peak I'm always getting and looking better.
Ohhh and your confidence, if you think you're confident enough now just wait 🤣 I'm so confident now that I literally don't give a fuck about what anyone thinks or says like I'm so expressive and assertive and free! I'm so confident that I could literally dance in the street infront of a bunch of people, I can befriend anyone, I love doing public speeches, I feel good having all eyes on me. My confidence SHOWS it radiates for miles. How I walk, talk and act all show how confident I am. I completely trust myself now like I never have any doubts ! Yup zero doubts we are THAT secure.
I know you're waiting for it and yes, we did THAT TOO. We traveled to alot of cool places, met alot of new amazing people all over the world. You're so rich that it doesn't matter how much anything costs like you don't even have to look at the price, your man buys it for you. You're rich af too from doing your passion and girl lemme tell you.. Success is GUARANTEED for you. You'll see it.
If you ever think your physical body is not malleable, well you're so wrong. You literally shapeshifted like you have your exact desired appearance now and everyone is shocked by your glowup.. They wonder what you did or HOW you did it. I've always been beautiful but this is next level.. I'm talking MAXIMUM level of beauty, goddess level of beauty like it's unreal.
I love realizing how powerful I've always been, like I manifested all of it, you did. You're doing it rn and it's all working out behind the scenes. The moment you want something, the whole universe rearranges itself so it can give it to you, all you ever had to do is be open to receive bc it's already YOURS. Trust me. You already got it and you don't even have to try it all happened so naturally!
I'm proud of you, and I'm proud of myself. even though I already have all my desires now and I'm fulfilled, I still think there's so much more ahead, bc life just keeps on getting better for us! We ARE SO lucky you have no idea
Never give up, never settle for less. "
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samkerrworshipper · 5 months
Text
beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful girl
leah williamson x reader, jordan nobbs x reader (wobbs as coparents)
reconciliation … the final part in this series x
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2 months later:
“My name is y/n Williamson-Nobbs, and I am an addict.”
There are things you appreciate nowadays, more then you did before. Fresh air, the flowers blooming in spring, a strong coffee, smiles from strangers, a warm bed, hugs, being told you are enough, a classic movie, the sun, fruit, water, being clean.
“I didn’t ever take drugs to hurt anybody, or hurt anybody knowingly. I didn’t take drugs to have fun, or party, I didn’t get addicted because I liked it.”
You like taking your dog on walks, going and getting your hair done, floating in the ocean, lying in grass, being sober.
“I took drugs because it made me feel whole. I’ve never felt whole in my entire life, everyday in my life I’ve used something to patch that hole up, during my childhood I tried to fix every single problem, I fixed myself by fixing everybody else in my life, my mom, my non existent dad. As I got older it changed, I seeked validation to patch the hole, it was healthy, but I think I’ve always been an addict and I always will be. I’ve been addicted to filling that hole, it was disguised as being healthy for most of my life until I switched the validation for drugs.”
You don’t avoid peoples eye contact as you walk along the street anymore, you don’t avoid your moms, you don’t lie to people anymore, you don’t put yourself in danger.
“It started with nicotine, because my mom enabled it. I think she was more scared for me then anything. I was spiralling, who wouldn’t be in this day and age? I mean any parent of a teen must be terrified in this day and age, I know I would be. The nicotine was good, but then I got introduced to weed, and it felt like every problem I’ve ever had was fixed.”
You talk about your feelings now, you identify every single thing that you feel and you talk about it with as much detail as your moms and therapist want to hear. You don’t study the different chemicals entering your body every time you shoot up anymore, you study the intricacy and meaning of what you are going through. You take medicine for your depression and anxiety, not drugs for your hopelessness.
“They say weed is the pipeline drug, it’s true. After weed, I felt on top of the world and there was no stopping me. Molly, LSD, coke, heroin, benzos, fentanyl, ketamine, oxy, speed, and eventually meth, which I now know to be the worst of all of them. I didn’t know it at the time, there wasn’t anybody in my life, or in the life I’d created forn myself that was willing to tell me how dangerous what I was doing was.”
Jordan moved back in, whilst you were in rehab. It had been two weeks, that’s what you agreed to. It was the worst two weeks of your life without any doubt. But when you were picked up, both your moms were there, both of them were there for you. They both took time off, time off to take you away, across to France for a week.
“Meth will always be the thing that destroyed my life. My parents don’t trust me anymore, I get why. I lashed out, I became devoid of everything, I was convinced that everybody hated me, and that I was the cause of everybody’s pain, including my own. I convinced myself that the people who loved me the very most didn’t, and that I was the bomb that had torn all of my relationships in my life apart. I was a kid though, I still am, and I’m trying to be better.”
The trust was a hard thing. Your therapist saw Leah and Jordan twice a week, and that was when they would discuss the things that they could start reintroducing you to. School was a no, for now. You were yet to be permitted to stay at the house, alone, for longer then an hour, so every training session, gym session, appointment, media duty, catch up with friends, you were dragged to. It had been tough in the beginning, but you understood, trust had to be earnt. Every week there was something to look forward to, Jordan had been teaching you to drive after you’d gotten out of rehab, and as of a week ago you were permitted to drive yourself to and from your NA meetings.
“Meth made me feel like I was on top of the world, even though i was at my rock bottom. I had bad friends, I fell into a bad group of people, people who took advantage of the fact that I was so vulnerable and hurt. I’ll never forgive them for that, I’ll never be able to forgive them for taking advantage of a girl nearly ten years younger then them. They were hurting too, but that doesn’t excuse manipulating another person. They hurt me, they enabled me, they assaulted me, they took things from me that I’ll never get back.”
The first thing your mothers had wanted when after you’d come clean to them about everything was for you to get a rape kit. You’d outright refused, you were protecting the people, you didn’t want to relive what had happened to you but also a part of you didn’t want Matt and Maya to go down, even if you could now recognise that they’d done unforgivable things to you. Eventually, you agreed to it. You were glad you did, Matt had passed on chlamydia to you, which you thought was some kind of sick joke, that even after he’d deserted you there was still parts of him that were hurting you from the insides. Karma came in the form of a sexual assault report, one which had the policemen heading to his home to arresst him, only to finds thousands of dollars worth of illicit substances.
“I’m not proud of what I did to get a fix, I don’t think any recovering addict is. A couple of months ago I would have ruined every single relationship I had with all of the people I loved just to get a hit of what I was craving, and nowadays I would probably do the same, but I don’t need to. Meth was the love of my life, I think it always will be, or maybe the craving for something to fill me up is what I crave, I don’t really know, I’m still working everyday to try and figure that out.”
Sometimes, as you drove home at night, around every corner towards the house, you considered taking a stop at a side street, one that you knew a dealer would be sitting on. Somedays, you considered driving the car off of the highway and into a tree. Somedays, you considered taking a blade to your throat so you didn’t have to do rehab. Somedays though, you felt so incredibly blessed to be alive. Sometimes, you would sit outside, in the sun and just feel, allow yourself to feel everything that you’d always pushed down out of fear that you’d be deserted if you let any true emotion show.
“We’re all human, we all have the same dignity, no matter who we are. I made some stupid choices, choices that I won’t ever be able to reckon with, choices that for the rest of my life will haunt me. Don’t we all though? Don’t we all lie awake at night worrying about the things that we’ve done, that are out of our control now?”
You’d come to not fear desertion, the people who you’d hated most in the world but also loved most in the world had deserted you. Your parents had deserted you, you closest friends, people you would have considered your found family, deserted you. It was something you had no control over, something that you would never have control over and focusing all of your energy on trying to fix that had become something that you’d give up on.
“I’m not perfect, I never have been, I never will be. I can guarantee though that nobody in this room feels like they are perfect. We’re all hurt people, everybody has something that they keep hidden from people because they are scared that somehow it is going to make people see them differently. I’m guilty of it, my whole life i’ve been hiding, I still am. I’m not ashamed to admit that coming here every night terrifies me, that somebody I’ve known at some stage of my life will walk through the same doors I do and I’ll be put face to face with that, but it’s life. We all make our own mistakes, we all pave our own ways.”
Leah and Jordan still fought, you were secretly glad. It was clear that everything between them was done, which you hated to be happy about, You weren’t ready for that to be back to normal, you weren’t ready to feel like you were able to go back to the way life was when they were together. Lia mediated them, she balanced everything out and the two of you had managed to build a relationship. She was like the older sister you’d never had and you were happier to have her around knowing that she was happy to support you in the same way your moms would, even if she wasn’t living in the same house as you all anymore.
“I will never be able to properly apologise for how I acted, I’ll never be able to repay the people that found me at my lowest and still showed uo for me. I owe my life to those people, and I will spend every single day of my life being so thankful for the opportunity they have given me to have a second chance.”
Life was better, everything was better, you were recovering, you were learning. You felt more connected and loved by the people around you in your whole life. You didn’t feel like you had to seek out love anymore, you didn’t feel like you had to do something to earn it. Leah spent every minute of everyday doing small things to make you feel loved, dragging you out of the house to get coffee with her, reading with you every night before bed, sitting through you when the cravings were making your day harder, driving you to the beach when you felt like you needed fresh air, dragging you to physio appointments so you could hang out with your aunties, buying you fresh flowers to put in your room to make the dark memories of it a little bit nicer, helping you redecorate the space, letting you sleep in her bed when the tendencies started to burn all over your skin.
“I have a disease, I have a terminal illness that will forever impair my ability to live life normally. I will forever be attached to my past, and that’s really tough, I won’t ever be cured of my past, I won’t ever be able to say that I am free of my addiction, I will forever be tied to my decisions.”
Your therapist was helping you weed out all the bad, helping you to identify the different patterns of self destructive behaviour that you chose, helping you to make better decisions for yourself, decisions that didn’t end in you destroying everything you’d worked for.
“I’m an addict, we all are, we all know what it feels like to be plagued with our past. We all get up here every week and speak about our demons, because we all get it. We get what it feels like to lose everything, we all understand the terror that crosses over a persons face when you overdose, or tell them that you’re using, or when they wake up across from your hospital bed. We’re all going through our own shit, we’re all struggling everyday. I struggle everyday, because I’m an addict, for the rest of my life I will struggle because I’m an addict, but there isn’t anybody who understands me better than all of you. I’ve been sober for two months, there have been relapses, there have been struggles, there has been pain and so much for me to be ashamed of. There has been so many positives though, there has been so much good, so much happiness, so many good moments. I don’t believe that everything happens for a reason, there is too much bad in this world for me to believe in that, but I do believe that this experience has made me a better person, it’s made me stronger, its made me more resilient. The past two months have been some of the best parts of my life, and i intend for the rest of my life to be the same. This chip means a lot to me, but it’s the progress that makes all of this better, knowing that I’ve left parts of me behind that will now stay behind me forever.”
You looked down at the chip in your hands, the little bronzey coin that was so small but felt like it was bigger then the world to you. You smiled at the group of people around you, nodding your head once again before walking towards you sponsor and giving them a hug. It felt good, like a big weight had been lifted from your shoulders. You’d never spoken much in meetings, you were more than happy to hear other peoples stories, but tonight had been special to you. You’d thought about what you were going to say, much of it being what you’d talked about with your moms earlier in the week during family therapy. It had been hard, talking to your moms so openly about how you felt, but it was something you were becoming better at as the days passed.
You stayed around for the coffee and biscuits, talking with the people that you’d grown close to over the past month and a half in the mildewy church which smelt a little bit too similar to your great grandmothers living room.
You stuck around until the first few people started to trail out, before you made the decision it was time to get home. You said your goodbyes, farewelling your friends before dismissing yourself and making the walk out to the carpark, towards Leah’s car.
Driving had become your one piece of real freedom, it was the only time where you got to think to yourself. A couple of months ago, you would have found solace in continuous loneliness, you would have sat in the car for hours and been happy. Now though, you found yourself navigating your way back home as fast as possible, whilst still abiding by road rules.
The gravel driveway underneath the wheels of a car used to make you nervous, if anything it now made you feel anticipation.
You jumped from the car with a hop in your step, the bronze chip still clutched in your palm, the metal now warm against your skin after the acclimation of the metal to your body temperature.
You used your key to enter the door, smiling at the warmth and scent that you were met with as you untied your shoes and left them by the front door.
Leah was waiting for you in the kitchen, she always was, every night you decided to go to a meeting. You knew that she still worried, that she spent nights awake worrying about you. You’d lost count of how many times on the nights you spent in your own bed how often she’d come to check to make sure you were still lying there. She probably always would worry, you wouldn’t blame her if she did, you’d put her through a lot.
She brought you into a hug, the same hug as every night, it always lasted for a little bit too long, but you never brought it up.
She would hug you tighter every single time, it was clockwork.
“Lia’s come over for dinner, she’s cooked spaghetti for everybody, but she made bangers and mash for you special, no pasta.”
You smiled at your mom, letting her press a chaste kiss to your forehead before you followed her into the dining room, where dinner was already plated up and Jordan and Lia were already seated at the table.
Jordan sent a smile your way as you sat down, things were still rocky between the two of you, it was never going to be perfect, it was never going to be as good as before, but you were both doing the work to heal bits of it and that was what mattered.
“Hey bubba, how was your meeting?”
Most nights you answered the same, with something simple.
“Good, I got this today.”
You pushed the chip onto the table, pulling your phone out of your pocket so you didn’t have to witness their raw reactions.
“Bubba, we’ve talked about this, no phones at the table.”
You frowned, pushing your phone back into your trackpant pocket, and looking up at your moms.
“This is awesome bubba, we’re both so proud of you.”
Jordan had picked up the coin, looking at it with glazed eyes.
There had been a lot of that since you’d come out of rehab, a lot of crying, a lot more than you were comfortable with.
“I want you to keep it.”
Jordan looked up at you, mildly confused.
“Bubba, it’s your token, your progress, your hardwork, you should keep it.”
You shook your head.
“Mom has my one month one, I want you to keep this one. I’m doing it for you two, I’m trying to be better for you two, and I want you to know that I’m committed to it and that without you guys I wouldn’t be able to do this.”
You could see tears pooling in Leah’s eyes from the other side of the table, jordan’s own ones beginning to drip down her face.
“Anyways, it’s not big deal, let’s have dinner, I’m sure whatever Lia cooked up is better than anything you and mom could have managed.”
You tried to pass it off with some lighthearted humour, but based off of the tears on your parents face, it wasn’t doing much.
Jordan and Leah both reached over, taking a hand in each of yours.
“You know that no matter what happens, no matter where you go, who you become, what you do, how you live your life, you will always be our beautiful girl.”
412 notes · View notes
hazelsmirrorball · 22 days
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F1 Elementary | Teacher! Oscar Piastri x Teacher! Reader
summary: It's Halloween in Box elementary and Oscar decides it's a good idea to play secret admirer and finally make a move with one of the teachers.
pairings: teacher!oscar piastri x teacher!reader
a/n: Excuse any errors english isn’t my main language. This is based off Abbott Elementary. If it's in bold it's a confesional.
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 The bell rang loudly, filling the halls mixing with the loud voices of the kids that were heading towards their classrooms. The teachers patiently waited outside the door greeting every single kid that entered. The hallways were different from their day to day. Miss L/n had stayed all night up decorating the halls to make them spooky for halloween. People could probably say that she could be a little bit of an overdoer. Spiders webs, spiders, pumpkins, bats surrounded the hallways, clinging towards the halloween aesthetic scaring a few of the kids. 
"Hi! I'm principal Norris. I still don't know how I ended up ruling this school but might I say I love it here. I’m the literal king of this school, everyone does what I say, it’s like I direct them or something. There’s a lot of perks of working at Box elementary,  Hot teachers, smart kids and the paycheck. Being a principal is the best, so I welcome you to my lovely kingdom. But enough about me, let’s talk about my untalented and ugly staff so you guys can see what I have to work with everyday. Look, there we have one of our annoying second grade teachers, Y/n. I'll leave you guys to it and let me say if you need more beauty shots, I'll be in my office" Lando said while tilting his crown down sending a kiss towards the camera. He turns to the left and the camera slowly follows him walking towards one of the students eating a lollipop. Lando  quickly takes it out of her hand and eats it himself. He walks away leaving the kindergartener alone crying in the halls. 
"Hello!! I'm Y/n L/n. But around here everyone calls me Miss L/n. I've been teaching second grade here for about four years now and honestly it's a blast. I love the kids, I love the school, I love my coworkers, I love the classes, I love my mood ...Sorry l am rambling but in my defense it's one of the best holidays of the year. Halloween!  and this year is different because we got the opportunity to dress up. They also let me put the whole school in halloween decor. All the kids are so excited to wear their little costumes and eat candies. That’s why I had to step up my game. Guess what I am? No? Okay. Well I’m a bumblebee cause people say I’m sweet like honey and sometimes that is annoying, but that’s nobody's buzzness. Did you get the joke? Did you understand?  Because I am dressed as a bee? I know you got it, I see that smile on your lips, cameraman. Anyway, let me just get to the point, I teach second grade and around here we all love to have fun. Do you want a Frankenstein cupcake? I made them myself" She said with a huge grin stretching out her hand with a cupcake toward the cameramen while the kids in the background made cute cupcakes. Her face was covered in frosting and her costume was covered in glitter. 
Oscar Piastri, smiled as he excitedly greeted his first graders, exclaiming proudly “happy halloween ” as they entered the classroom, His  Mark Webber  costume intact. He watched as his little students entered the classroom all giggly while holding onto buckets filled with candies he had personally requested them to bring so they could exchange with their classmates. When the last student entered, his eyes trailed towards the end of the hall where he could see Y/n L/n handing her kids a lollipop while they entered. Oscar stared at her in aw, as she did a dance battle with one of the kids that was dressed as a hip hop dancer. Y/n stinger got caught on the door making her fall back as all the kids from her class ran up to her to help her up. She shook them off by saving countless thank you’s. Y/n threw her head back laughing at her kids following the action as Oscar stayed in his place being starstruck by her beauty. Oscar waited a few seconds to catch her eye and waved at her with a soft smile which Y/n happily returned. Being lost by the sudden interaction Oscar couldn’t feel the small child tugging on the side of his pants trying to get his attention. 
“Mr. Oscar! You are staring at Miss L/n again. You said staring at people was rude” The child exclaimed quite loudly making Oscar jump up and panick. He quickly crouched down to be at the same level as the kid. 
“Alex, what did we say about yelling?” Oscar said softly, trying to push back his flushed face. Alex looked down towards his shoes shaking his head. 
“That we shouldn’t do it. I’m sorry Mr. Oscar. I was trying to get your attention because I needed to tell you something but you were looking at Miss L/n. I heard that in their class they are making cupcakes today. What are we going to do? It’s Halloween we should do something fun” Alex said, raising his head and grinning excitedly towards Oscar. Oscar mirrored his expression. 
“Well, I talked to Principal Norris and he said we could race cars outside. So after we exchange candies right after recess we can race” Oscar said resting his hands on his shoulder grinning. Alex quickly squealed in excitement jumping up and down. Oscar followed his actions moving side to side. “Wait, what did you need to tell me that was so urgent?” Oscar said quickly remembering what were his true intentions. 
“I actually don’t remember” Alex said, making a thinking face. 
"Mister Oscar!  Jeremy is kicking me again" a kid screamed from inside the classroom making Oscar quickly enter the room to detain the fiasco before it got worse. Jeremy was quite the fighter and he didn’t feel like cleaning up blood today. 
Oscar Piastri didn't expect to like being a teacher as much as he did but now after being a  teacher for about a year, he was starting to get the hang of things. He enjoyed the kids' presence, they made things actually fun for him and the best thing, aside from the kids, was Y/n L/n. Having Y/n around made the teaching experience quite refreshing. She was around the same age as Oscar  but she had been teaching there for about four years just like her close friend and English teacher, Logan Sargent. Oscar had tried several times to get in their little group but it was quite hard for him to click with the teachers. It wasn’t that they were mean or anything, it was the fact that they didn’t take the rookie teacher seriously. Adding to the fact that Oscar wasn’t the best when getting social clues, for some people, it felt like they were talking to a child while they were talking to Oscarl. 
“Mister Piastri, I wanted to inform you that the camera crew just got here today, so don't be surprised if they catch your fine ass. You look quite attractive with that, costume." Principal Norris said, peeking his head through the door. Oscar  turned around with a scared look on his face seeing Lando wiggle his eyebrows at him. Oscar’s hands dropped stopping the two kids that were originally fighting. 
"Excuse me?" Oscar asked, raising an eyebrow at Lando making him wink at Oscar. 
"I'm just playing but remember that they...Oh look they are here now! Here we have Mr. Oscar Piastri. He teaches first grade and he's been working here for about a year, yet he can barely get a hold of his class but we are working on it. So enjoy your time with him. The hottest teacher in the school. Bye" he exclaimed while he left Oscar standing agape in the hallway with a camera crew filming straight at him. Oscar quickly took his glasses off, cleaning them on his pants nervously while the kids screamed as loud as they could in the back of the class, the kids once again starting their fight.
“First of all, I'm not the hottest teacher here, I'll leave that to Charles and second of all I have perfect control of my kids. Didn’t you guys catch on camera me stopping the fight? " Oscar exclaimed defensively while putting on his glasses and looking at the camera clearly stressed. His hair was now messy pointing to several directions as his  breath was unsteady. 
"Mr. Oscarl! Help me, Jeremy is still pulling my hair now" a kid yelled from the back of the class quickly gaining Oscar’s attention. He quickly ran towards the back of the class and the camera crew quickly behind him. Oscar tried pulling Jeremy off one of the other kids but he wouldn't move.
"Jeremiah, let go!" Oscar said while falling desperately to get his attention. 
"I'm not letting go Osc! She bit me with her stupid vampire teeth" Jeremiah yelled, still not letting go of his grip becoming stronger. 
"First, I told you even though you are stronger than me to call me Mr. Oscar. Second of all, we said no bad words in the classroom and that included the word stupid.  Now let's just try to be in a loving mood, it's Halloween, don't you guys want to be in a loving mood?!" Oscar asked desperately, trying to convince the kids to let go of each other. All the kids around them were unphased by the interaction, exchanging candies while the fiasco unfolds.
"NO!" Both of the kids exclaim pushing Oscar down towards the floor. He closed his eyes in pain waiting for a few seconds for the floor to eat him alive. He let out a sigh, dragging himself to one of the classroom doors praying that someone, beside Lando or Y/n, would help him out. 
"How are you kids so strong?! Verstappen!  Verstappen please, please help me. Verstappen I know you can see me" Oscar exclaimed as he gripped on the side of the door from the floor. He reached forward holding his leg desperately not wanting him to move. Verstappen stopped dead in his tracks staring down at Oscar with pity. His eyes were nearly covered in tears as he begged him to come and help. Verstappen looked towards the break room as he turned his back from it, taking a step into the classroom but not before quickly rolling his eyes at Oscar. Instantly the kids stopped fighting while the ones that were exchanging candies  sat down hiding their sweets.
"How?" Oscar mouthed to the camera while watching the kids stay like statues with Verstappen.
"I'm  Max Verstappen. Please do not associate me with the principal or I will call the authorities against you. If it were my decision, I would have been principal and I would have said no to this little filming festival you have going around here. But since l am not principal, I have to answer your dumb questions.  I am the other second grade teacher here at Box elementary. The only person I don't get annoyed at in this school is possibly Oscar. He isn't the worst teacher in the world but he isn't the greatest. Kids here can be little shits but I have them under control. Oscar on the other hand doesn't. He lacks control and I truly believe he's one of the kids."  Verstappen said to the camera while moving to the side to let into view a giggling Oscar Piastri exchanging his candies  with his students excitedly.
Meanwhile, Logan and Carlos  walked together to the break lounge ready to eat their lunch and enjoy their break. Both of them worked on the second floor with the middle school kids and they were exhausted.
"Good evening, I'm Logan and I teach seventh grade english. I've been in this school for four years and quite frankly still don't know why I've stayed so long."
Carlos sat down taking his food out of his neatly prepared lunch box while Logan took his mug to serve himself some coffee. Both of them took in the wonderful peace and quiet that surrounded the break lounge, something that it always lacked. But the peace and quiet was interrupted by the door slamming open and a visually alarmed Oscar  coming through, Verstappen following behind shortly after.
"I'm so done with those little pieces of sh.. You"  Oscar took a deep breath pointing at the cameramen. "Stop following me with those stupid cameras. You're making me seem like I'm a bad teacher” he said while his eyes twitched, making Logan hide a chuckle with a cough. He continued to drink his coffee attempting to calm himself.
"I don't think they're making you seem like a bad teacher, maybe you're just being one” Carlos  responded while taking a bite of his sandwich making Logan  "cough" even louder.
"Carlos.  I came to this school the same time Oscar Piastri did and it still surprises me that he is still here. There were fifty new teachers and surprisingly the only two left are Oscar Piastri  and me, I thought he was going to be the first one to leave, yet here he is, still struggling and still not getting the hang of it" Carlos said to the camera while fixing the nonexistent wrinkles of his button up shirt.
"Well, I have you know I am a great teacher! My students say it to me all the time when I get emotional. I bet you don’t even cry with your students. My students and I had a Halloween party, something that didn't even cross your mind to have today. We exchanged candies, had a dance party and watched movies. They love me. I love them. And all you did was bore you kids to death today, I suppose. What did you do? Make them read" Oscar responded angrily while looking at the peaceful Carlos. 
"Actually, yes. We read about the history behind witches. Something you can actually do to learn since you come to school to learn not to party. But I guess you didn't get the memo since all you did was go to frat parties in college" he said taking another bite of his sandwich.
"Jokes on you I wasn't even in a frat. But I just know your kids wanted lollipops and by the way I gave my kids lollipops and none of them threw them at each other so I believe that's progress" Oscar said proudly while looking in the fridge giving his back to the teachers letting them see the back part of his robes covered in lollipops.
"Congrats! You are getting better, Piastri. I am really proud” Logan  applauded while placing his cup of coffee down.
“But I don't think you should get your kids hopes up with Halloween. You should show them the gory things that I showed mine today. Real, scary, halloween movies. When they’ll get older they will thank you for teaching them how to survive a psycho. ” Verstappen responded while sitting next to Carlos.
"Aren't your kids seven?" Carlos asked, concerned, raising an eyebrow at Verstappen.
"And your point is, Carlos Jr.?" Verstappen asked while taking a sip of his black coffee. 
“I already told you, my name isn't Carlos Jr., it's just Carlos" he said seriously while glaring at the man.
"I will not stop spreading love in my classroom.I love Halloween and no one and I mean no one  loves Halloween more than me" Oscar exclaimed sitting down with his arms crossed. 
"Hellooo fellow teachers!" Y/n exclaimed throwing flower petals in the air while entering the break room. 
"I highly doubt it" Logan responded while looking at his best friend, dressed up in her vibrant yellow costume. She was holding onto a basket filled with sweets while her wings neatly placed on her back. Her hair wasn't styled as usual, instead it was pulled back in two braids with her antennas.
"Happy Halloween to you, and you, and you" She said, handing a beautifully devoted Halloween box to each of her coworkers.
Carlos smiled softly, Logan whispered a thanks and Verstappen rolled his eyes, but deep down he loved it. Y/n headed towards Oscar giving him a bigger box than the rest. Oscar blushed hard, taking in the gift in his hand while Y/n placed down her things. 
"Thank you, Y/n. I appreciate it a lot" he said smiling softly but his smile got wider when she sat next to him.
"You're welcome Oscar! By the way, I love your red bull costume. I really like the redbull drink. A lot of my students dressed the same. It looks cute" she said, playing with the ends of Oscar’s long sleeve . 
“Actually, Y/n. Oscar’s dressed as An...” Verstappen started but quickly got cut off by Oscar slamming his hand against the table. 
"Thank you, Y/n! I was trying really hard for that can look. I really like your bee costume. I know everyone was buzzing about it” he said excitedly while trying to hide his  blush. Y/n threw her head laughing hitting Oscar’s shoulder softly making Oscar blush more if it even was possible.  
"Thank you! I wanted to go all out today, I heard that the party was going to be the bomb.” Y/n said winking towards Oscar which made him grin excitedly. 
“You know about that?” Oscar asked confusedly, while taking his food out of his bag. 
“Yeah! My kids were telling me about some big plan you have after recess. I was so excited for the afternoon party I forgot to bring lunch" She smiled at her while opening a water bottle and looking down at her notes to fix anything that was incorrect for the party the school was throwing later today.
"Here, have my sandwich" Oscar exclaimed quickly, planting the sandwich next to her. She looked up from her paper shaking her head.
“Don't worry about it Oscar. You should eat, I can wait until later.” She responded by trying to hand it back at him but he shook his head.
"Have it, I'm not even hungry" Oscar said smiling softly while shrugging trying not to worry her.
"Thank you Oscar! I owe you one" Y/n said, taking a bite while Logan looked at the camera suspiciously while drinking his coffee.
"What? I'm not hungry. My stomach is filled with brownies, candies and cupcakes. Plus the cupcake I had this morning, if Y/n’s hungry I wouldn't mind giving her my food!! Or anyone not necessarily her, I give my food to everyone that wants it, look. Here have this kiwi" Oscar exclaimed while taking out the kiwi he was previously eating and handing it in to a kid that was passing by. The kid stared at Oscar weirdly before continuing walking.
"So,what are you guys doing tonight? Anything special planned in this spooky evening" Oscar asked, trying to change the subject while they all peacefully ate. Everyone stayed quiet but Oscar anxiously taped his finger on the round table making Carlos groan and speak up.
"Well, since you're being nosy, I rented out a movie theater to watch movies tonight with my girlfriend” Carlos responded, closing his book. Y/n squealed, turning to him with a smile. "It was so romantic. What did you get?" Carlos asked, directing himself to Y/n, but she simply shrugged.
“The kids gave me some beautifully made cupcakes, those that count?" She asked sitting next to him, Verstappen laughed making the two stare at him.
“It's sad that you want that to count," he said, taking another sip of his coffee.
“Don't listen to Max, he's just jealous the kids didn't give him anything because they are scared of him” Carlos said, rolling his eyes as Y/n fixed her posture awkwardly. 
"My kids love me, they know my second grade class is the superior one and they did get me sweets. I just don't like them" Verstappen responded, getting a bag of candy and throwing it on the table leaving Carlos in shock.
"Well, maybe you'll get something later, the night is still young" Oscar said suspiciously while looking at the camera with a smirk. As if it were by cue a delivery man opens the door holding a big strawberry bouquet.
“Delivery for Y/n L/n” the delivery man said while reading the card. Y/n excitedly got up taking it in her hands and placing it down on the table picking the card to see from who it was. She quickly smiled at the delivery man saying thanks before he left. All the teachers looked at the bouquet waiting for her to say who it was from.
"Who is it from?" Oscar  asked while standing next to her with a huge grin on his face.
"It says spooky berries from a secret admirer, " she said, picking a strawberry and eating it.
Logan, Carlos and Verstappen stood outside in the hallways with the camera crew Filming them.
"It was Oscar" the trio said at the same time while rolling their eyes.
"This is beautiful! The person that got me this has to know me really well, I love chocolate covered strawberries. They are literally the best thing to ever exist on this planet"
" You see! I know her well!! I got her that gift and went all out! I'm proud of my hard work and the smile on her face is to die for. So ha! I win Halloween" Oscar exclaimed happily at the camera while grinning.
"Breaks over, I need my teachers in their classrooms so they can take the kids to that dumb party Y/n’s making" Lando said entering the lounge and getting himself some coffee.
"Nothing you can do will ruin my mood today, Lando. So I will take that as a compliment" She responded, taking a picture of the strawberries.
"You got yourself that gift? That's sad, even for you L/n" Lando responded while taking a sip of the drink.
"Actually, it was a secret admirer," she responded, not even looking at him.
"Oscar, it was Oscar" Lando said, looking at the camera in the hallway while taking a bite of a strawberry he had taken from Y/n's gift.
"Also how are you guys enjoying the reality show we have going on here?" Lando asked, winking at the camera.
"I feel watched and stalked" Verstappen responded seriously.
"I didn't ask you. Oscar?" Lando turned his head towards Oscar who started to pick up his things so he could head back to his classroom. 
"This isn't a reality show Lando. it's a documentary for schools with poor funding so I don't think we should be proud of that” he said while standing up and putting his tote bag on his shoulder. 
"You know what I'm not proud of, the fact I haven't received my Valentine's Day gift yet" Lando said only for him to hear. Oscar shivers while looking at him with the same expression as before. "Now everyone chop chop. We don't have all day" he continued while applauding obnoxiously.
Everyone started leaving the teachers lounge leaving Oscar to himself to open the box Y/n had given him, he slowly opened the box and opened his eyes wide when he saw the gift.
"Oh, I've known about Oscars' crush ever since he started working here. But I love seeing the reactions he does when he thinks I don't know a thing about the little gestures he does for me. That's why I decided that I should give something back" Y/n said smiling to the camera holding the gift she had received from him. In the background you could see Oscar dancing excitedly and when Y/n turned around to look at him, he froze waving at her trying to act cool which Y/n responded with a smile while quickly turning to her classroom.
Oscar looked at his kids jumping up and down at the party and he smiled. He looked at the camera men and then down at his hands.
"I'm going on a date today" He said screaming while joining his kids in a dance battle.
Logan looked at Oscar and then at his best friend from the other side of the school gym and smiled softly at her.
"You asked him out, didn't you?" Logan asked, looking at Y/n.
"Yes, I think he’s cute." She responded while looking at the dancing Oscar. Both of them looked at how Oscar huddled up with the kids pushing a car to make the kids star driving. A few seconds in, a kid “runs’ over another ones leg making them cry.
“I though he meant toy cars?! Seven year olds don’t have diverse license”  
381 notes · View notes
lovecla · 26 days
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IF YOU LOVE ME, LET ME KNOW | jack hughes.
chapter three:
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➴ warnings: smut (semi-public, dirty talk, brief thigh riding, lingerie kink, degradation and praise at the same time? just filthy tbh)
➴ word count: 1.5k
➴ author’s note: …i have nothing to say for myself.
sophiamontenegro
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liked by billboard, morgan.grace, nicohischier and 2,902,001 others.
sophiamontenegro 11/11 ♡
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sarahmeddler RIGHT ON MY BDAY TOO LETSS GOOO
billboard 🎤❤️‍🔥
morgan.grace i love u i love u i love u
jackhughes ❤️
lovssoph YESSSS YESSSS LORD YESSS
kyle_79283 @hugo98293 this is probably a good time to tell you that i wanna break up. bye
sophiamontenegro @kyle_79283 @hugo98293 nah that’s wild…
sophialeftboob sing ho!
ilovejackhughes70 WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT JACK BEING ALL OVER SOPHIA’S INSTAGRAM LIKE THAT MAN IS LIKING AND COMMENTING ON EVERY POST WHAT IS THIS BEHAVIOUR
user92893 @ilovejackhughes70 girl CHILL that little guy is a whore he’ll do anything for a girl including being active on social media
WITH all of the things you had to do before releasing your album, it had been almost two weeks since the last time you saw Jack.
Which, if you were to be one hundred percent honest, you were grateful for. Trying to figure out what you were feeling whenever you were around him was already hard enough to do on its own, now doing it with Jack around? Even worse.
You still texted everyday, although you didn’t know what that meant in your… fuck-buddies-situationship. With your previous arrangements, you only texted if one of you wanted to have sex. Besides that? Never.
But, in your ultimate defense, Jack was the one to start it. With simple texts like “hey, how are you?”, he built some type of text schedule between the two of you, and you wouldn’t be the one to break it.
To your extreme horror, you actually missed him: his masculine, clean scent, his warm hands around you, his jokes, his laugh, his kisses and his dick.
You often wondered if he was having sex with someone else during the time you were apart and that thought made you ache. You knew it wasn’t any of your business, and you knew he was technically allowed to do that— and so were you— but it still hurt nonetheless.
“Can we get some warm lighting on top of her, please?” The photographer’s voice brought you back to the present, where you were shooting some pictures for your collaboration with Skims. You never cared much about the Kardashians but damn if those lingerie didn’t look good on you.
Someone moved the lamp around so that the warm lighting was now hitting your face, and you started posing again. It was your last outfit, and you were tired. It was half past nine and after shooting for six hours straight, you just wanted to go home and sleep. But, you still had at least fifteen more minutes.
“That’s great, Soph, you look awesome.” The man complimented you, earning a smile. At least the people there were nice and you felt comfortable enough wearing lingerie around them. “One more for me, please.”
sophiamontenegro
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sophiamontenegro angel in blue
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trevorzegras 🥲🥲
arianagrande jesus !!!!! ♡ 🪄
lovssoph how are u real girl wth
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jackhughes i like blue
ilovehockey @ jackhughes soldier get up…
morgan.grace Im pregnant
ENTERING your changing room, you felt exhausted. Everyone left to have dinner and you were waiting for Grace to arrive, so she could pick you up. You were still wearing the two piece set, a blue babydoll and panties; your hair was still perfectly styled and your makeup flawless.
You heard a knock on the door, and you scrunch your nose, wondering why Grace would knock. She was against all types of knocking.
Opening the door, nothing could’ve prepared you for Jack standing there, looking gorgeous as always; gray sweatpants, a loose hoodie and blue eyes devouring you.
“Jack? What are you doing here?” You asked, confused.
“Grace told me you’d be here, shooting something,” he said, eyeing your entire body, taking his time. “Geez, I wish she would’ve told me you were shooting for Playboy.”
“It’s not for Playboy, idiot. It’s for Skims.” You rolled your eyes, opening your door and letting him in.
He leaned against the closed door, smirking. “I don’t know who Skims is, but I wanna tell them thank you.”
You giggled, cheeks red.
“Do a little twirl for me, baby,” he asked, voice soft yet demanding. You did, slowly twirling around, showing him your set. “So fucking pretty.”
“Yeah?”
“Hell yeah, Sophia.” He stepped closer, putting his hand on your hips like always. You breathed in, not wanting to confess how much you had missed it. “And you’re all dolled up too, huh?” He briefly kissed you, just a tiny peck, really, which did wonders to you anyway. “I want to fuck you with those panties on. Make you ride me with that baby doll.”
“Jack,” you moaned, feeling your pussy starting to get wet against the fancy fabric of your panties. “We can’t do it here. What if there are people outside?”
He laughed, holding you closer, hands running up and down your thighs and ass, ignoring your wet spot on purpose. “What? Like you care about people knowing how much of a slut you are?” He scoffed. “Please, Soph. We’ve been here before,”
Your mind brought you back to that night at Nico’s place, or that one time you both fucked inside his car, or the day you sucked him off in the Devils’ locker room. Semi-public sex wasn’t exactly a problem to you, but putting on a fight always felt good.
“We have to be quick,” you whispered, giving in. As you always did.
“With you riding me while wearing this? I’m sure we’ll be.” He stated, and you laughed, as you both kissed again, bruising, hard and passionately.
His tongue caressed yours while his hands did the same with your body, fingers finding your clit over the panties and rubbing it once, twice, before moving to your hole, inserting his finger over the panties.
He lifted you with ease, leaving you with no choice but to wrap your legs around his hips, hoping that you wouldn’t leave a wet spot on his hoodie. He sat on the couch that occupied half of the room, with you on his lap, kissing you still. Your head was dizzy, mind going everywhere at once, and you couldn’t help but grind on his cock, indeed leaving a wet spot on his pants.
He pulled his pants down, and you eyed his perfect, hard cock: big, thick and the mushroom head red, spurting pre-cum. All for you.
“Inside me, please,” you mumbled, rubbing your clit on his thighs.
He laughed before grabbing a condom from his pocket. “That’s new. I didn’t know sluts knew how to say please. I guess you are desperate.”
And you were. It’s been two weeks since the last time he was inside you and you were climbing up the walls.
“Jack, please,” your voice sounded way too needy, even for you, but you didn’t care. If begging would get you his dick, then so be it.
“With you asking so prettily, who am I to say no?” He answered before pulling your panties to the side and lifting you up just enough to sit you on his— now— protected cock. You both moaned, you clenching your hole around him, clit throbbing underneath the lace. “Fuck, Soph. You’re milking my cock, baby.”
“God,” you moaned, slowly starting to ride his cock. You knew you both needed to be fast, so you were going to make it quick.
Sliding up and down on his dick, you rode him with ease, searching for your own release, while he pushed his hips forward, slamming into you with precision, hitting all of your right spots.
You two were too familiar with each other’s body, you knew each other so well and the realization made your head hurt and your clit throb.
Putting your hands on his shoulders to support your body, you were moving fast, fucking yourself open on his cock, while his right hand stroked your clit hard and fast, making you squirm and whine.
“Look at you, such a pretty thing, letting me wreck this tight pussy,” Jack whispered in your ear, still fucking you nine days into Sunday. “You’re mine, aren’t you, baby? All mine to fuck and care.”
“Mhpmm, yes, fuck, baby, yours,” you moaned a little too loud, forgetting about the fact that someone could be outside, hearing you and Jack fucking like two animals.
All that mattered now was coming on Jack’s cock and making him come too— which didn’t take long, since you both arrived at the same time a few minutes after that.
Coming down from the high, you both tried to make your breathing steady again, you resting your forehead on Jack’s shoulder, not wanting to leave, not now, not ever, his cock sitting still inside of you, making you feel full and warm and taken care of.
“All great in there, sweetheart?” You heard him whispering in your ear, while caressing your back with his left hand.
“Mhm.”
He chuckled. “Was I too rough?”
Even though it was clear you loved when he acted rough with you, he still asked every now and then. You thought it was the cutest thing ever.
Raising your body slightly, you stared at him, blue eyes reflecting yours, making you smile, tiredly.
“Nothing that I couldn’t handle.” You shrugged, genuinely happy. Exhausted? Yes. Happy? Also yes. “Jack?” You whispered, biting your bottom lip.
“Yeah, baby?” He whispered back, pressing his thumbs against your lip so you’d stop hurting it.
“I like you,”
You weren’t expecting him to say anything back, honestly. Coming to terms with the fact that you liked him was still something you were working on, but it would hurt less in the end if he pushed you away now, before getting your hopes too high.
Smiling right back at you, he kissed your cheeks, your forehead, the tip of your nose and then your lips, gently.
“I like you too, baby.”
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two-white-butterflies · 2 months
Text
by the sea | legolas of greenwood
Description: You have a reputation for being reckless. What happens when you do something that finally makes Legolas snap?
Pairing: soldier!reader/legolas
A/N: I fought all my demons to write the fight scene. This was requested.
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It was a perfect day; the sun was warm and the winds blew cold.
It was a day of adventure!
"I thought that days like these were lost to the darkness." You laid on the warm green grass, feeling the litter kisses on your exposed skin. "I missed the summer," you moaned - closing your eyes for a second.
You open your eyes, and his piercing blue ones meet yours.
"When we were elflings, we used to run around these same gardens with our naneths chasing after us." Legolas chuckles, reminiscing your childhood days.
In your shared youth, every day used to be summer - always filled with warmth and happiness, never imagining for a moment that days like that could be stolen away.
"I wish we could return to those days before the darkness." Your voice suddenly turned mellow. You try to hide this feeling, but it always returns - the darkness shivers our bones, and you know that he feels it too, in fact stronger than you do.
"Those days will return, mellon." He shuffles closer, until your bodies were merely inches away - both of you ignoring the stares from the passersby, no doubt, finding it strange that their prince was laying on the ground beside one of the King's guards.
He gives a deeper smile, and you scoot even closer.
You know what that smile means, he's about to say something clever. "They say that when you believe that something belongs to you, the entire world conspires for you to have it by your side." He whispers, flicking a strand of your hair away from your face.
"- there are a million things that I've been longing for, but the world has not given me anything - not once." Your eyes narrowed, and he laughs, aware that you were toying with him. "If you want it with all of your heart then it shall be given." He answers.
"Are you saying that I do not want anything with all of my heart?"
"Need I repeat myself?"
"Everyday, I pray to Eru Illuvatar that the darkness is vanquished."
"Maybe, it is in the works, mellon." He breathes, letting go of the banter. Mayhaps, he was praying for the exact same thing. "- enough of that talk. Are you prepared for our patrols next week?"
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You are one of the greatest warriors in the King's army, the elves endearingly called you 'the Green Knight' for despite your command with the sword, you had a single flaw - your recklessness, your greenness, your innocence.
In the caprice of your youth - you currently believe that there is nothing in this world that can defeat you.
You are wrong.
"I can't believe that your father passed me over for Tauriel. I've been pining for that position and he knows it! There is nothing in this world that I want more that being Captain of the Guards." You exasperated.
Tauriel herself was shocked that she was chosen as Captain, matter of fact, she entered your chambers shortly after the ceremony saying that it should've been you. "- I love her and I celebrate her accomplishment, but my heart feels like it is ripped in half." You say.
"It is alright to feel that way, mellon. Mayhaps Ada saw a quality in her that he is yet to find inside of you." Legolas comforts, and you nod - cracking a smile. "Well there are a lot of things that Tauriel is better at," you concede defeat.
"- like shooting arrows." he teased, referring to something that happened a few years ago. "- and cleaning up after she trains." you add, and both of you share a laugh.
"I guess there are some things that I am yet to learn, but I wanted that post with all of my heart, and you told me that if I wanted something with all of my heart..."
"- then you shall get it. You will get it." he finishes the sentence.
You were about to answer but a screeching noise interrupts you. "Spiders," you note already used to that noise. You still remember your first encounter with the spiders - they were so big and violent, and you refused to harm them at first, thinking that they were part of Illuvatar's orchestra, but they weren't. Not anymore.
They were corrupted with darkness, and that darkness slowly took over the forest, leaving nothing but dust and death.
Your grip on your sword tightens, hearing more of that screeching. There were at least twenty of them judging from the sound. "Should we head back?" Legolas inquires, aware that your position in the guards is higher than his own. "I don't think that we have enough time," you whispered and he lifts your body - until you were sitting on a tree branch.
"There are fifteen to twenty of them. You should head back, while I fend them off." You surmised, it wouldn't be easy fighting this many spiders - you could break an arm but you wouldn't die, right?
It was impossible to die.
"If you are commanding me to abandon you, I won't do that." He insists, his eyes turning dark - his lips turns into a thin line. "There's only two of us Legolas. If not me, then who?" your eyes narrowed.
"You go home!" His voice raises slightly. You are taken aback by his sudden shift in tone - he was usually soft spoken with you. "I am the Captain of this patrol." Your eyebrows merged together. "- it is your duty to obey my orders." You glared, seeing the spiders begin to search for the source of the noise.
"I am your prince." He uses that card, and you roll your eyes.
"It does not matter in this operation, Legolas. Please just do what I command and we'll be rid of this problem." You pleaded, but the determined stare in his eyes does not shake off. "No." he says.
He reminds you of a child.
You ignore his disagreement and allow yourself to fall on the damp forest floor, the sound attracts the spiders and they begin marching in your direction.
All twenty of them smelling of mold and dirt. It was a nightmare, but a nightmare that you've fought with a thousand times.
You stand up, swinging at the spiders with ease.
Legolas falls down beside you, rising to his full height. "I will report your disobedience to the King himself." You threatened, annoyed at his disregard for his own safety. He does not respond to you.
He keeps silent. He fights the spiders.
When you turned to look at the next spider - it begins to lunge at you. Taking you aback with its sheer strength. "Legolas!" You yell his name, and that stare takes you by surprise. It is the same way that the King used to look at the Queen when she did something reckless.
It was a stare that you've bared witness to a million times, and now you were the recipient of it.
He cuts through the spider's stomach with ease, and the other spiders began to flee for their safety. He turns his back to you, picking up the dagger that he left on the forest floor. "Legolas," you begin taking sharp breaths - shaking off the panic that you felt.
He ignores you, again.
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It has been eight hours since Legolas last spoke to you. "I don't understand why he evades me like a plague," you tilted your head - taking a sip of the wine that the King generously laid out.
"He does that when he's..." He pauses, thinking of a word that could properly explain his son's behavior. "Displeasured." He finishes.
You cross your arms in a huff.
"I've done nothing to cause him displeasure. As a matter of fact I should be the one who avoids his presence, he disobeyed my orders, my king. You would do the same thing if you were in my shoes." Your eyebrows merged together. The King responds with a chuckle.
"I cannot offer you an explaination for my son's actions. He is a being of his own. I cannot read his mind, child." He reminds.
Your frown only deepens.
What if...?
"What if he hates me forever?" You suddenly voiced out. You glance at the King and he looks unconvinced. "What ever fight you had, you must sort it out on your own. For what it is worth - I don't think that he hates you." He finished, placing a file on the table.
Directions of your next patrol.
"Take care." He swiftly reminds with a smile.
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"Legolas if you are going to continue to evade me like a plague then a resolution for our problems will not come." You chased after him, but he continues walking - with his arms crossed in a huff. "I think that it is unprofessional for you to remain cross with me." You add.
He turns around to face you, a frown on his face.
"You could've died!" He raises his voice again.
Realization dawns.
"I am alive, Legolas,"
"I know that you are a great warrior, but you are reckless." He grits his teeth, anger flooding his senses once more. "It should not matter to you. I am the master of my fate, and also the captain of that patrol. You shouldn't have disobeyed me that day." You still insist.
You gaze up at him.
The sight of him with a frown on his face, him glaring at you. It breaks your heart. "Don't look at me like that," your voice breaks.
Legolas was your truest friend, there are times where you imagine yourself married to him - but that doesn't matter. Those feelings don't matter right now, because you could lose your friend! All because of what? His unwillingness to obey your orders?
"If I wasn't there, who knows what could've happened upon you?" He scowls, "- that spider could've ripped you apart. I would've lost you." he whispers the last sentence but you were able to hear. "- all of that before telling you the truth." His face suddenly softens.
"What truth?" You ask cautiously.
"I love you, meleth - and the thought of you possibly losing your life to the spiders we've dreamt of vanquishing has made me realize that I cannot live without you." He confesses, he opens his mouth again.
But you silence him with a kiss.
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kpop---scenarios · 1 month
Text
Dark Book Series (2) - Say You Love Me
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Pairing: Hwang Hyunjin x Reader
Warning: Yandere Content, Murder, Mentions of Blood, Stalking etc
Word Count: 4.5k
Taglist: @velvetmoonlght @skittlez-area512 @skzdust @gnabnahcsworld @onlyhyunjin @stephanieeeyang @lostasoulinthedarkness @imperfectlyperfectprincess1 @iam-wh0 @skzooluvr @queen-in-the-shadows
@ayyonoona
Felix | Hyunjin | Lee Know | Seungmin | Chan | Changbin | Jeongin | Jisung
“How are things today, Y/N?” Hyunjin asks. You stare down at your twiddling fingers, trying to hold in your tears before you speak. You hated crying in front of your therapist, but lately that seems to be all you ever do, and honestly Hyunjin seemed to be used to it by now. All your sessions seemed to involve you crying over your boyfriend.
“Y/N?” He asks, leaning slightly forward.
You look up, one tear rolling down your cheek. “I'm sorry.” You whisper. “Things are worse…at home. With Jackson. The past week, he's just been ignoring me, straight up walking out of the room if I walk in. Away from me if I try to talk tk him. No matter what I do.” You sigh.
“Mhm, prolonged silent treatment. That is a form of emotional abuse, you know.” Hyunjin murmurs, writing down on his notepad.
“And I honestly don't even know what I did to be given the silent treatment. He won't tell me. But on the brightside, I guess it's better than him screaming at me all day.” You sigh.
“Does he usually? Scream at you, I mean.” Hyunjin asks.
You shrug your shoulders. “Sometimes. If he's had a bad day at work. If I didn't clean the right way, or enough. If I say the wrong thing, or I talk out of turn. If a guy looks at me, talks to me…” You trail off.
“Does he know you see me?” He asks.
“He knows I see someone. If you're asking if he knows you're a man, then no he doesn't. I figured it was an unnecessary fight. I've been through a lot of therapists, and you're the best that I've been too.” You smile.
Hyunjin grins at your words, inside he's bursting with joy. “You know, Y/N. You are allowed to leave that relationship.” He tells you. “In fact, I would insist you do. Your mental health would improve exponentially.”
“I've thought about it. But I don't want to be alone.” You sigh.
You'll never be alone. Not as long as I'm around.
“Sometimes being alone is what heals the heart, and the head.” Hyunjin smiles. “You're stronger than you think.”
“I don't know if I am. What if I never find anyone else?” You groan. “Jackson says he loves me, when he talks to me. And that he does these things to make sure I'm the best version of myself.”
“Do you feel like what he does makes you the best version?” He asks. I can guarantee you don't.
“I feel like I'm losing myself piece by piece everyday.” You whisper.
I can help you heal. I can fix you. All you need is me.
“You need to leave, Y/N. It is in your best interest.” Hyunjin sighs, closing his notebook. “Unfortunately that's all the time we have for today. But I want to see you again in a few days to see where things are at home. Okay? I have Friday at 2pm, 4:30,pm, and 6pm.”
“Yeah, yeah sure.” You sniffle, wiping away your tears. “Let's do 2pm. I'm off work early on fridays.” You say.
I know.
“Friday at two. Okay, I have you down. You've got this, Y/N.” Hyunjin smiles as he watches you stand up, forcing a smile. He wished you weren't leaving to go home to your shitty boyfriend. He watches out the window from his office as you walk down the steps, grabbing his jacket and locking the door to the room he rents inside the building.
Hyunjin keeps a good distance behind you to ensure that you don't notice him behind you. He doesn't need to follow you to find out where you live, he already knows. He just likes to make sure you make it home safely. He's there to protect you, because that's what you need. You need someone to save you, and lucky for you, he was that person.
He smiles as he watches you checking the mailbox in the yard of your little house. He loved the house, but he hated the other occupant that lived there. You had been with Jackson for 3 years, only living together for one, so far but he hoped that it wouldn't be that much longer. The way your sessions were going, and the words Hyunjin was speaking, he was sure you'd leave Jackson in a few months. A couple more sessions, you'd be fully aware of how wrong Jackson was for you, and maybe realize how right Hyunjin was for you.
As you walk in the front door, he wanders around the side of the house, peering in the window to the kitchen and living room. He watches you setting your bag down on the table while Jackson walks into the room. He mutters some words, holding his arms out for a hug, and you nestle right into him. Hyunjin can see you melting into the hug, relishing in the fact that Jackson is now speaking to you again, and now giving you physical touch.
It makes Hyunjin sick.
After an hour, he can't take it anymore. He can't stand to watch you laugh and touch him, while Hyunjin knows it's only a matter of time before you're back in his office, crying because Jackson did something again.
When Friday finally rolled around, Hyunjin made his way to his office around 1:30pm, he sat behind the desk that came with the room as he thought about the first time he had ever seen you, which was now almost two years ago to the date.
**
“Yeah, no, I'll call to set up another appointment.” You say to the receptionist at the therapist's office. He could see the disappointment that was plastered all over your face, the second you walked out of Dr. Parks office. He wasn't surprised, Dr. Park wasn't the best in the business, but Hyunjin could be. Was he a licensed therapist? No. But could he be? Absolutely. He walks over to you, ignoring his name being called to go speak with Dr. Park, and stands by you at the elevator.
“Excuse me.” He smiles. “I couldn't help but notice the disappointment on your face after your session. I'm Dr. Hwang.” He says, holding out his hand. “and I'd love to meet and see if we'd be the right fit?” He smiles.
“Hi. Oh, um sure. Yeah, that'd be great. Dr. Park is good, he's just… um…” you pause.
“He's a friend, but I completely understand what you mean.” Hyunjin laughs. He pats his pockets before looking up at you. “Shoot, I was going to give you a card but it doesn't seem like I have any on me.” He sighs. “If you call me, I can get you in. Do you want to take my number?”
“Yes, please.” You say, pulling out your phone.
“Okay, it's….”
“Thank you so much.” You smile, stepping onto the elevator, slipping your phone back in your pocket. Hyunjin steps on the elevator with you, pretending like he was leaving just like you, and that's the day he had first followed you home. It took him time to find out information about you. He had, too. He had no choice. You didn't call for months. But when you finally did call, he was able to be the perfect therapist for you, as well as the perfect man for you.
**
Hyunjin is brought out of his thoughts, hearing the knocking at the door. “Come in!” He yells, putting his phone to his ear. “I promise, it'll all be okay.” He says, to no one. “I'll see you at your session on Monday, okay?” He says, waving you in, pointing to the couch. “Okay, yes, see you Monday.” He finishes, pretending to hang up the phone.
“Good afternoon, Y/N.” He smiles, opening his notebook.
“Good afternoon!” You say, in a better mood than when you were here a few days ago.
“You seem to be happy.” Hyunjin states, clearing his throat.
“I am! Jackson apologized the evening that I went home on Wednesday.” You sigh. “And since then, everything has been great!”
Hyunjin can feel the rage burning inside of him. “Well, it's only been two days, I wouldn't get your hopes up that things are changing, if I were you.” He says.
You raise your eyebrow at him.
“I just mean, narcissists, emotional abusers, who eventually turn into physical ones, don't change at a snap of a finger. This is a classic manipulation tactic, and he will turn in a split second. I just need you to be prepared.” Hyunjin explains.
“Oh.” You smile. He could tell his words had upset you, and while he didn't want to see you sad, you needed to know that Jackson wasn't going to change, and he'd be irrationally angry at her again, for something she did or didn't do.
“Do you two have plans for the weekend?” Hyunjin asks.
“Jackson wants to go out tomorrow.” You tell him.
Mhm, let me guess, to the club.
“He wants to go to the club with his friends.”
“Are you going to be joining him? It might be good for the two of you to get out together.” Hyunjin suggests.
“I asked if I could. But he said it was a boys' night.”
“Why not have a girls night?” He asks.
I'd love to run into you at the club. Take you home with me, where you'd be safe from him.
“You know what…” You pause, smiling. “That's a good idea. I wanna go to the club and get drunk too.”
“There you go. That's a plan.” Hyunjin laughs.
“Thank you, Dr. Hwang.” You smile. “I'm gonna go plan it now!”
“I told you, Y/N, call me Hyunjin. I hope you have a great time. I'll see you on Monday, at 6pm.” He laughs. The smile you had on your face was etched into his head. Fuck, he couldn't wait to see you on Saturday, even if you didn't know he was there.
**
Saturday night, Hyunjin makes his way to the club, later than anticipated but he was on the way to you regardless. He gets inside the building, the smell of sweat and alcohol surrounded him as he weaves through all the people grinding and drinking who were scattered around. His eyes are scanning the entire place, looking for one person in particular.
And when he finally spots that person, his heart flutters.
You look radiant, wearing your tight black dress, your hair and make up done. You were laughing as you danced with a friend, your own eyes scanning the bar, biting your lip as you looked for someone. Hyunjin sits in a booth, far enough away that you won't see him, but close enough that he can see you. He watches you take shot after shot, enjoying your night out. He enjoyed the fact that Jackson wasn't hovering around you, but it also pissed him off. You were currently in such a vulnerable state, anyone could take you away from him. In a split second things can change, and Hyunjin desperately wants to be that change. He wants to take you away from all the bad things in the world, especially Jackson.
He slowly sips his drink as he watches you stumbling around the dance floor. Jackson walks up to you, looking less than impressed by you. Hyunjin can see Jackson yelling at you as you sway, trying to pay attention but struggling. You look so unaffected by Jackson’s words, it was almost like you had just blocked him out instead of listening to him. He tells you to fuck off, before storming off, leaving you there alone.
Now. This was Hyunjin's chance. He finishes his drink, casually walking up to you, ignoring the many attempts of other women trying to get his attention. He was happily taken by you and would never stray.
“Y/N?” He whispers into your ear from behind you.
You spin around, trying to focus your eyes.
“Hyunjin?” You ask, squinting, moving your face closer to his.
“Hi.” He laughs. “Are you okay?”
“I'm fuuucking grand.” You slur, tripping over nothing.
“Woah, there.” Hyunjin laughs, grabbing onto you.
Your skin is so soft. So beautiful.
“Should I take you home?” He asks.
“N-no… my friend… is right there.” You hiccup, pointing behind Hyunjin. He glances behind him, seeing an angry looking girl coming towards them.
You turn around, waving to your friend. “Hey!” When you turn around again, Hyunjin is gone. “He…was just…here?” You mumble, completely forgetting you had seen him, moving on with your night.
**
“So, Y/N.” Hyunjin starts, just after you sit down on the couch across from him. “How was your girls' night?” He asks.
“It was a lot of fun! We ended up mixing our girls night with the guys night. It was a great time.” You smile.
“So no issues between you and Jackson, then?” He asks. He was confused. He saw Jackson yelling at you. There was no way the two of you were fine.
“I mean, there was a small one…” You trail off. “He got mad at me for drinking too much. In his words, I was blacked out.” You sigh. “I don't think I did. I remember everything.” You say, shrugging your shoulders. “Speaking of remembering, were you there?” You whisper.
“Where?” Hyunjin asks, acting surprised. “At the club?”
You nod your head, biting your lip.
You're making me want to take you right on this couch. Stop teasing me, Y/N.
“No, No.” He laughs. “The club isn't so much my scene.”
“I swear I thought you were.” You laugh. “Maybe I was drunk.” You whisper.
“So are things tense between you and Jackson?” He asks.
You shake your head. “Oh no. We actually worked It out quite maturely.” You grin. “No yelling, no name calling. It was different. But it was so nice.”
“Well, that's great.” Hyunjin mumbles. He was annoyed now. He needed to keep planting the seed of you leaving him into your head, how the fuck is he supposed to do that if the two of you are getting along?
Hyunjin glances at his phone, letting out a frustrated sigh.
“Everything okay?” You ask him.
“Uh, yeah. Just another patient. Do you mind if we end the session a few minutes early? I'm very sorry. She's very troubled.” Hyunjin explains.
“No problem! I'll see you on Wednesday.” You smile.
Yes, yes you will.
He watches you leave the room, closing the door behind you. He swipes the call on his phone, answering it. “What?” He snaps. “I told you never to bother me, Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.” He spits.
“I know babe, I'm sorry.” His girlfriend whispers. “I just wanted to ask if you were going to be home for dinner.” She murmurs.
“Yeah, I'll be there soon. Just have to make a call. Sorry.” He sighs, hanging up the phone. He liked his girlfriend, sort of. She was someone who reminded him of you. That's the only reason he was with her. She was the closest version of you he could find, until he can have the real thing.
You.
Hyunjin opens his notebook that he uses for sessions that happened to be only filled with information about you. He flips to the page he needs, pulling out his phone to dial a number.
“Hello?” A voice on the other end answers.
“Hey… um is Y/N there?” Hyunjin asks.
“What?” The voice asks. “Who is this?”
“My name is, um, Paul. I met Y/N at the club on Saturday. I must have misdialed the number. My apologies.” Hyunjin says, a giant smile plastered on his face.
“Are you talking about L/N Y/N?” The person asks.
“Yeah? Who is this?” Hyunjin asks, matching the same concerned tone of voice.
“I'm her fucking boyfriend. Or I was.” He snaps, hanging up the phone.
Hyunjin slides the phone into his pocket before he gathers his belongings, heading home to someone like you.
One day it will be you.
On his way home that night, Hyunjin took a small detour to your house. He just wanted to see if his plan to bring you and Jackson further apart was working. He crept around the front of the house, going to one of his two usual windows. He peers in the living room and kitchen window, seeing Jackson screaming at you as you cry, trying to calm him down. He wouldn't even let you touch him. Hyunjin would never do that to you. He would never make you cry like that.
When Wednesday finally rolled around, Hyunjin was like a child waiting for Christmas. He was anxiously waiting for you to come into his office and tell him about the last few days. He had a very good feeling he knew what you were gonna say, but he needed to hear the words come out of your mouth. His eyes were glued to the doorknob, waiting for it to turn. And when it does, he puts on his professional face, waiting for you to come in. And when you do, you look distraught. Your face was red and puffy from crying, your lips were quivering as you shuffled towards the couch. Sitting down without saying a word.
“What's wrong, Y/N?” He asks.
Come on, Y/N, say it.
“It's just… I… um… oh god.” You sniffle.
Come on, baby.
“Take your time. Take a breath.” Hyunjin urges.
“I think… I'm going to break up with Jackson.” You whisper.
That's a good girl.
“Oh?” He says, acting surprised. “I thought things were okay with you both?”
“They were. But then he started accusing me of cheating on him!” You yell. “He said he got a call from some guy named Paul! I've never even met any Paul's in my life!”
“I'm so sorry, Y/N.” Hyunjin sighs. “You know, often when a partner accuses his or her spouse of cheating, they're projecting onto them what they're actually doing.”
“You think Jackson is cheating on me?” You cry.
“I'm sorry to say, it sounds like it.” Hyunjin tells you.
“Yeah I think I'm done. He's been so mean to me the last few days. I'm just heartbroken.
I'm not.
“I think that's your best decision, Y/N. You need to free yourself from the toxicity. Leave yourself open to what the universe has to offer you.” He says.
“I think the universe is telling me that I deserve no one.” You sniffle.
“Nothing, and no one is off limits to you, Y/N. You deserve the world and out there is a man who is waiting and willing to give it all to you.”
It's me. I'm that man.
“Maybe you're right. So you think I should leave him?” You ask, needing the extra push.
You should have left him the second you met me.
“Yes, I really do.” Hyunjin says.
“Okay.” You breathe. “I'm gonna do it today.”
God, I knew you were such a good fucking girl. That's my girl.
“I'll see you on Friday, okay?” He smiles. He hated that your sessions were only an hour. Most of the time he barely heard a word that came from your mouth, he was too busy admiring you and how absolutely perfect you were. You drove him crazy and you didn't even know it. He wanted to hug you and whisper sweet nothings into your ear to make you feel better but you weren't his yet. He was so close to having you, and he could stop imagining all the things he wanted to know.
**
This was it. This was the moment he had been working towards for a year. The moment you were going to come in and tell him you ended things with Jackson, and then the second part of his plan would be able to begin.
You walked into his office looking like a ray of sunshine, as beautiful as ever.
“Good afternoon, Y/N.” Hyunjin grins. Nothing could ruin his mood.
“Good afternoon!” You say, happily.
“So.” He begins. “How did the break up go?”
“Well… Um… it didn't exactly happen.” You murmur.
Rage. Pure fucking rage.
“What do you mean?” He asks, his teeth gritted together.
“I told Jackson I wanted to break up. But he begged and pleaded for me to work things out with him. He promised he would get help. He actually suggested we move.” You smile. “So this weekend we're going to pack up the house and move about 12 hours away.”
The hell you fucking are.
“I don't think that's a good idea.” Hyunjin says.
“I just came today to thank you for everything over this past year. You've truly been a lifesaver.” You admit.
I'm about to be a life taker now.
“Well, I wish you all the best, Y/N.” Hyunjin says. You smile at him, getting up from the couch and leaving. If you thought this was the last you were seeing of him today, you were sorely mistaken. You didn't want to listen to him, now he had to take matters into his own hands. He took what he needed, leaving the rest. He no longer needed this room. He went straight to his apartment, his entire body fueling with nothing but pure fucking rage.
“Hi baby, you're home early.” His girlfriend smiles.
Fuck you. I don't need you anymore.
He walked up to her, pulling her in for a passionate kiss, guiding the two of them to the bedroom. He pushed her down on the bed, climbing up to hover over her giggling frame. He straddles her, gently caressing her face.
“I'm so sorry.” He whispers.
“For what?” She asks.
“I don't need you anymore.” He smiles. He takes both his hands, wrapping them around her neck, using all his strength to apply pressure. She trashes beneath him, clawing at him to let go of her throat and let her breath. But he can't do that. Not until he's done. He watches her eyes, relishing in the view of life slowly leaving her body as she slowly stops fighting him until she lays there, lifeless.
Hyunjin lets out a deep breath, admiring his handiwork for just a second. He had one other person to go see now, and he hoped to god that you would be there to witness it.
Hyunjin stood outside your house. Some of the lights were off, and the house was relatively quiet. He knew you never locked your back door, it was a bad habit you had. He'd have to retrain you. As quietly as he could, he opened the door, leaving it open. He crept through the back house, making his way to the kitchen, where he saw Jackson packing things up. You must be packing somewhere else or gone to bed early. Hyunjin grips the knife in his hand, peering around the corner. He needed to wait for Jackson to be facing away from where he stood. The element of surprise gave him an even bigger adrenaline rush than if he was to just attack. So he waited. He waited.
And waited.
And waited.
Until it was late, and he hadn't seen you in a while. He assumed you had gone to bed, leaving Jackson alone to finish packing up the kitchen. Hyunjin slowly emerged from the shadows, tiptoeing towards the man who faced away from him. As he gets closer, he rushes towards Jackson, knife first, plunging it deep into his back.
Jackson lets out a loud yelp, as Hyunjin pushes it into him deeper. “Fuck!” Jackson screams. Hyunjin pushes him down to the floor, stabbing him over and over again, his blood splattering from his body. Jackson didn't even try and fight him back, it was almost as though he just accepted his fate and imminent death. He couldn't stop, he had so much pent up rage for Jackson, he continued stabbing Jackson’s already lifeless body, until he felt like he could be done. He stands up, breathing heavily, pushing his hair back with his hand covered in blood.
Now there was nothing that could get in his way of being with you. He walks towards the bedroom, knife in hand. You were sleeping so peacefully, completely unaware of what Hyunjin had just done to your boyfriend.
He moves the chair in your room closer to your side of the bed. He sits down, slouching in the chair twiddling the knife between his fingers as he watches you sleep. You must be having a bad dream. He watches as you toss and turn in the bed, murmuring random words, your face full of panic. He just wants to ease your troubles and your worries.
It took you a while, but you shoot up in bed, gasping for air, clutching your chest as it heaves while you try to take deep breaths to calm yourself down.
“Jac…” You begin, clearing your throat. “Jackson.” You call out. Even in the dark Hyunjin can see the tears spilling from your eyes.
“Jackson!” You call out again, after receiving no answer.
“He's not available at the moment.” Hyunjin murmurs. Your eyes go wide as you turn your head, seeing Hyunjin sitting in your room.
“What are you doing here?” You whisper.
“I came here and did what you weren't strong enough to do.” Hyunjin says. “I took care of your problem. I did what you couldn't do.”
“What do you mean?” You gasp. “What problem?”
“Jackson!” Hyunjin snaps. “You were doing so well following my directions, and then you decided to stay with him. Why would you do that?”
“What?” You ask. You were having a hard time trying to wrap your brain around what he was saying.
“If you had broken up with him, none of this would have ever happened.” Hyunjin says. “You wouldn't have made me do what I did.”
“What did you do to him?” You ask him.
“It doesn't matter. What matters is that you and I can finally be together.” Hyunjin smiles, standing up from the chair. He walks up to you, sitting on the bed beside you. “Nothing can come in between us now.” He whispers, gently caressing your face. He leans in, closing his eyes, so close to pressing his lips to yours.
But you pull away from him, you look disgusted. “Please just go, Hyunjin. Please.” You cry.
“I can't! It's you and me against the world, now.” He whispers.
“I don't want to hurt you. But if you fight me, I just might have too.” Hyunjin whispers, wiping away your tears. “Do you understand?” He asks, placing the knife between the two of you. “I love you.”
You glance down, nodding your head.
“Say it back!” He snaps. “Say you love me. Is it that hard? I just need you to say you love me.”
You look down at the knife covered in blood, panic setting in. “I… I love you.” You whisper. It was like music to his ears. He had yearned to hear you finally say that to him. He strokes your cheek with his thumb.
“That's a good girl.”
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