#enjoltaire incorrect quotes

[lesamiesdelalgbt]

Grantaire: Do you love me?

Enjolras: We're literally married

Grantaire: Yeah, but as friends or-

[shippingdissapointment]

Enjolras: Are you flirting with me?

Grantaire: Have been for a while now, thanks for noticing

[uponthebarricade]

grantaire:

[askclato]

Enjolras: Send dudes.

Grantaire: You mean nudes?

Enjolras: I’m in a fight. I need more men.

[psstwantsomecheese]

Enjolras: General Lamarque is dead

Grantaire tryna hit: NOOOOOOOO!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔😭😭😭😭 😢😢😢😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔😭😭😭😭 💔💔💔💔💔💔😢😭😭😭

[chrysalismandtea]

✨random les amis headcanons✨

enj’s favourite breakfast is cereal, but specifically those honey rings that taste really bland

at some point jehan was dog sitting for a friend who had a golden retriever and proceeded to call the dog enjolras for the whole week (and send videos to their group chat)

combeferre is the only person who has ever managed to seduce someone with a conspiracy theory. it involved quantum physics and johann sebastian bach.

on the subject of classical composers, joly knows every single note of chopin’s polonnaises and he even head bangs sometimes

bossuet wears sunglasses on top of his head year round

courf bikes everywhere (sweetheart)

marius and cosette religiously watch gossip girl (everyone thinks it’s because cosette likes it but it’s actually the other way round). once enjolras joined them and ended up leaving the apartment mumbling something about eating the rich

feuilly talks to his plants (he refers to his gardenias as “my ladies”, much to everyone’s annoyance)

eponine is the worst baker, but she makes the absolute BEST waffles, to the point everyone’s sick of them (they’re not)

bahorel has crushed more than three weddings (and only been kicked out once)

musichetta’s favourite song is, unironically, take on me by a-ha

grantaire only drinks coffee from a “world’s best grandma” mug (it was a gift from courf)

[always-tired-plshelp]

Courfeyrac: I spy with my little eye something that begins with the letter “s”.

Combeferre, looking over at Enjolras and Grantaire: Is it “sexual tension”?

[cx-shhhh]

Enjolras: Grantaire, you are incapable of believing, of thinking, of willing, of living, and of dying.

Grantaire:

[antisocial-cheesepuff]

Enjolras: Is that vodka?

Grantaire: Yeah.

Enjolras: Straight?

Grantaire: No, gay.

Enjolras: THE VODKA NOT YOU

[expired-applejuice]

Enjolras, staring at the national guard: Hmm that's a problem. But not my fault, I did everything I could.

Enjolras, looking at his dead friends: and you did too

Enjolras, to Grantaire who just showed up: also why are you still here

[accio-barricade]

Enjolras: You need to change all of this *gestures*

Grantaire: You just gestured to all of me.

[lesamiesdelalgbt]

Enjolras: I need you to swear-

Grantaire: Fuck

Enjolras:

Enjolras: Swear as in promise

[uponthebarricade]

grantaire:

[lalarose216]

How Grantaire ended up in Les Amis (Based off of a story my friend who reminds me of Marius told me)

Marius: Did I tell you about that time I met that drunk guy? So I was outside the Cafe Musain putting up posters, and this guy came up to me. And he said, "Hey, I'd like to learn more about all of this, and you seem to know a lot, could we maybe talk?" And I said, "Sure, we're having our meeting soon, you're welcome to come, or you and I could meet up afterwards," so we exchanged phone numbers and-- Eponine: No! Marius: No, he wasn't drunk then! Courfeyrac: Marius, we do not give our phone numbers to strangers! Marius: *sigh* Well, anyways, we finished the meeting, and I went out and saw him, and we were walking, and I was telling him all about how I'm a Bonapartist, but Les Amis is about republican revolution, and he was saying weird things like, "Hey . . . you almost tripped over that leaf!!" And I was just ignoring it all, until he fell on me, and I could just SMELL the alcohol. So, I took him back to the cafe, and said, "Stay here." Then I went inside-- Eponine: *snickers* Marius: --and I got Combferre and said, "There's a drunk guy outside." And he said, "Oh, no . . ." and got Enjolras. So, we went outside, but he was gone! Eponine: Surprise, surprise . . . Marius: But I had his number! So I called him and gave the phone to Enjolras, who was going, "Where is your location? Your LOCATION. YOUR LO--where ARE you--oh . . . oh?? You're on top of everything??" So there's this staircase in the building next door that leads to the roof, but it locks behind you. So he was stuck on the roof. I just let Combferre and Enjolras take over from there, and Grantaire's been coming to our meetings ever since. Eponine: *snickering* I wonder why!! Marius: What? Eponine: What?

@eponine-thenadier

[44ratsinatrenchcoat]

Enjolras in the 25th anniversary concert: All of you are fives except for Grantaire who is an eight and I support him Enjolras in the 2019 all-star cast: All of you are fives and that's okay. Not now Grantaire. Enjolras in the 10th anniversary concert: All of you are fives. Who the fuck is Grantaire? Enjolras in the book: all of you are threes, except for Grantaire who is a zero and deserves to die in a house fire. Enjolras in the 2012 movie: all of you are zeros who deserve to be killed by a weedwacker.

[chrysalismandtea]

les amis de l’abc as things me and my friends have said

enjolras: i wish i allowed myself to smoke just to escape functions

combeferre: i’d probably be better off as a jukebox

courfeyrac: (in a discussion about what we should make a podcast on) how many mini sandwiches i can eat in an hour?

jehan: dude i was dizzy when i was BORN

feuilly: (talking about cop shows) i’d make a great dead body

joly: (stressfully) you’ll leave me without a neck, and people without necks aren’t people, they’re corpses!

bossuet: hey, if i made you run errands without paying you would it be considered slavery?

bahorel: we have plenty of grass for you, too. goat (affectionately)

grantaire: (clearly sarcastically) today is my forte

marius: just think about it.. your children’s parent lives on this planet right now

eponine: manic pixie dream girl? nah, i said i’m a panic moxie grim girl

cosette: actually girlhood is listening to loud music and rearranging furniture

musichetta: dude they’re men, they only care about books and astrology