#endymion is awake!

[stardust-in-my-mind-blog]

endymion's dream

did you know the moon is full

do you feel her power

does that magic burn inside you

or is it more of a vexing ache

I wonder how long you'll stay sleeping

I wonder how long I'll watch for

any signs that you're awake

the star mother arrakis told me

of our destiny together

but I doubt the whispers of stars

they watch us down here with curiosity

but the map is not the territory

you can only experience some things

to learn them completely

I don't understand anything

the constellations I draw in my mind

between sparkling jewels of connection

are no longer the landmarks I once knew

the sky has changed completely

and I'm navigating in the foggy dark

but I'll get through

I always get through

and once in awhile

maybe more than once in awhile

I wish that we get through

together holding hands

and laughing about something

anything but the silence

wishes are dreams of the heart

and my heart never betrays me

just the ones she chooses

nonetheless

I'll always get through

[imjustheretoseetheprivateblogs]

RxJ Week Day 5: Mirror

@senshixshitennouweeks these will be super late and out of order. But hopefully, they'll be enjoyable

Memories of what he'd done were bile in his stomach, rising up through his chest to come out.

No matter how many good deeds he did or how long it was, some innocuous incident or phrase could remind him of how fallible he was.

And yet, it didn't feel like that was him.

In the dead of night, when memories of strangling the enchanting Mars visited him, it felt more like he was dreaming of being a character in a movie, not the man he was now.

In fact, it was how he got into this situation. Sitting up in bed while his wife slept.

"Why are yo awake?"

Well, she was asleep.

"No reason," he said.

A slim hand took his and lifted it to be kissed by a pair of luscious lips.

"Dreams again?"

He nodded and he knew she'd know he did. Rei had a sixth sense after all.

"I remember meeting you in my second life," he said, "I remember hearing the bus hydraulics as it stopped, seeing you unconscious on the floor..."

He pauses.

"But it's like a dream in a dream. Like..."

"Like a funhouse mirror?"

She's right of course, but he turns to look at her in the dim light, wondering what she knew about this.

"Before you returned to us, during the Dead Moon Circus... I had an encounter in a hall of mirrors. It looked like a version of me, but younger... brattier."

"She sounds intolerable," Jadeite said.

"Oh, she was," Rei replied, "she said that what I really wanted was to be taken care of by a man for the rest of my life."

Her arms snaked around his chest.

"But I knew it was a lie. And those dreams, they're your own funhouse mirror."

She presses a kiss to his temple.

"And funhouse mirrors only show distortions of what is. So go back to sleep. You've got a full day tomorrow."

He does. Rei works him to the bone some days. She can be impatient and exacting, especially during the shrine's busiest seasons.

But her words, the surety in them, they put his mind at ease. Jadeite leans back, her arms still around him and thinks instead to newer memories.

Of getting his job at Hikawa shrine, of reconnecting with Endymion and the others...

The funhouse mirror is still there, in his mind, but it's far off and overtaken by images of hair the color of crow's wings and eyes like jewels.

[bridgyrose]

About the Reincarnated Beryl AU, from what Naru says it sounded like she was jealous of Usagi's friends for taking attention away from her, and Beryl said stuff along similar lines. Does that mean that Beryl is more into Serenity than Endymion in this AU? How much are Naru and Beryl connected?

(Its less they're connected and more that they're the same person at this point. Once Beryl awakened, the line of who's Beryl and who's Naru is very blurred)

Queen Beryl smiled a bit as she looked over Serenity’s limp form. Being in the body of one of her close friends had certainly made things easier than she expected, although, it was difficult to know where she started and the person she was supposed to be ended. Waking up as Naru had been… different. She had expected to be someone else, someone with authority, though being a school girl like Serenity meant it was easier to get around without being noticed. And yet, she couldnt help but shake the feeling that there was more to this than she expected. 

“Is everything alright, my queen?” Nephrite asked. “You dont seem much like yourself.” 

“I’m fine, Nepthrite.” Beryl gently ran her fingers through Serenity’s hair. “I have everything that I need here.” 

“And what exactly do you plan to do to her?” 

“Its not what I plan to do to her, its what I need her for.”

“I’m not sure I understand.” 

Beryl pulled away from Serenity with a smile. “With her energy drained, she wont be able to defeat me anymore. I can finally find the silver crystal with no one to stop me. And then I will be Usagi’s only friend.” 

“And that’s the part I dont understand. Why does it matter if she’s your friend or not.” 

Beryl paused as she tried to find the words she wanted to argue with. Ever since she had awakened, she wasnt entirely sure which feelings were hers and which belonged to the body she’d been shoved into. But every time she watched Serenity… Usagi… mingle with the other girls, all she knew was that things didnt feel right. The anger that welled up in her chest was unfamiliar, the thoughts of running away and stealing Usagi werent hers, and yet… they were just as much as hers as getting the silver crystal. 

Still, she had to admit, if Usagi was her friend, then that would keep the other Sailor Guardians under control and out of her hair. Or even to work with her to make her job easier. “She’ll be an important piece to get that silver crystal. Otherwise, her friends will keep getting in our way. And I dont have time for any more setbacks.” 

“We wont fail-” 

“I’m not worried about failing, I’m worried about how long its taken us to get this far. I’ve been awake for almost a year now and I’m still no closer to bringing her back. Metalia needs to be brought back and I cant wait any longer.” 

“We will bring her back.” 

“I know we will,” Beryl sighed as she watched Serenity start to wake. “But for now, we do what we can to keep her on our side.” 

Nepthrite nodded. “Yes, my queen.” 

“N-Naru,” Usagi said as she slowly woke up. “Where… where are we?” 

Beryl smiled a bit as she helped Usagi up. “You werent feeling well so I brought you to my place to rest. I hope that is okay.” 

“Its fine. Thank you.” 

“You’re my best friend and I would never want anything to happen to you.” Beryl pulled Usagi into a hug and grinned. “And I’m sure you’ll help me too.”

Prev

[chaotic-orion]

dive of endymion

they say endymion was a shepherd:

a boy leads his father's flock across the pasture. bleed, white wool. the gift she remembers. ewes graze buffalo grass. her lambs lick dew. insatiable goddess. moonstone, moonbull. a boy screams into the night. a starling flutters awake: the last witness fleeing.

some say endymion was a prince:

a boy sleeps in his bed of goose down. columns of ivory marble, palace of palaces. long nights, a wish granted. an ethereal woman. milk toasts her lips. sleeping atop moony mt. latmus. dreaming, dreaming, dreaming forever.

fewer say that endymion was an astronomer:

moonstruck, mooncrazy moonshine, moonlove moondance, moonbow moonwoman, moonkissed moonseed, moonflower moonchildren, mooneyes

and even less say that endymion was a king, who saw his certain ending. death is my keep; death is a thought away. a mourning dove, a starry-eyed woman: they say the kingdom of a king buried where his horses ran is a shrine, not a tomb. do you think he chose the earth to evade the moon?

[hoonenic]

3:00 am – ₊˚🪜 :

sunghoon ( en- ) × reader ( f )

the blissful moonlight which fell upon the man beside you , was indeed the best vision after a tensing nightmare. his perfectly chiseled face bought a smile upon your lips unknowingly. how perfect he looked at this hour ! you felt like diana , witnessing your endymion getting drenched with the serene moonlight. you kept staring at him , without even realising that he has been staring back at you too.

" sunghoon...? you're awake ? " you whispered in a low voice , while his eyes landed gently upon your face.

" yes love , i sensed your intense stare even while i was asleep. " he replied in a ever gentle voice which made your heart flutter.

he pulled the blanket down , revealing his perfectly chiseled body and pulled you closer. it was absolutely normal for you both to sleep in less clothings as the 4 year relationship made you both comfortable enough.

his forehead rested upon yours , while his hands embraced you even closer. his strawberry-mint breath made you feel at ease. his lips trailed along your cheeks , finally landing on your ever sweet lips which he has always been fond of. your lips moulded with him and created the most enchanting moment ever , as you lost yourself in the loving kiss. you deserted all your worries , thoughts and everything and let yourself get lost in the eternal paradise where you knew nothing other than his love.

his lips left yours and trailed across your neck , down to your shoulder. his teeth bit the thin , silk strings of your nightgown , revealing your bare shoulder. you gasped at the sudden contact of his warm lips on your cold skin. your breathes increased their pace as you enjoyed his enticing slow burn.

he finally pulled away , satisfied with the lovely love marks which were painted in red , all across your shoulder. he dragged you closer and looked at you with the most sincere gaze ever.

" love , thank you for being my 3 am reverie. "

[sakuracyanide]

@thuganomxcs liked for a starter

spirit world has a problem.

or, perhaps more accurately, it was just been aware that it had a problem. a cataclysmic event had missed them by mere millimeters, and only in the rush of it passing them did any become aware it had been occurring in the first place. absolutely none had been the wiser to the cosmic threats lying in wait.

it was not exactly a surprise. the human world was not what it once was. when the four heavenly kings had fallen victim to the cosmic force from beyond their star system, their cycle of reincarnation had been broken. presumably, the same was true for prince endymion himself, who had fallen in an ill-fated bid to save the moon.

no longer did earth have ties to the power of the planet itself. no longer did enma or koenma have the means to detect threats from beyond their stars, even when those threats had nestled themselves right underneath their noses.

it's early when koenma jolts awake. suddenly able to sense the wave of cosmic power washing over the planet - subtly rewriting reality as it did so - and bringing with it the knowledge of how close they had come to certain destruction. for him to know, to have access to these long-forgotten senses once more, could mean only one thing.

the four heavenly kings have been reborn on earth.

he would have to task his spirit detectives with finding them. immediately. send all of them to the four corners of the earth they once ruled.

if the four kings were alive once more... he didn't want to think about what that meant.

but the months go by and no kings are found. its a terrifying thought to have them wandering in a world that they can't fully know. the millennia since their disappearance had utterly changed the landscape of the worlds, splitting them into three rather than one. they were... vulnerable. the energy signatures being so new despite their ancient power has them looking for babies, infants, all of them prime for slaughter without proper protection.

but try as they might they are unable to locate them. every time the power flickers up it's gone just as quick, unable to be traced.

little does he know they're already safe and sound, all four finally reunited with their prince in japan.

---

a transfer student arriving mid-way through the year is never a good sign. especially not when it coincided with a streak of mysterious murders. humans withered to dust, bodies found with broken mirrors outside of them.

what little evidence there was to these crimes indicated that the creatures were clearly neither demon nor human.

it should be said that it was not his choice to be so conspicuous. that he had no desire to be playing out the role of an anime cliche.

zoisite was seventeen, nearly eighteen, and yet no amount of arguing got him out of attending school. he'd missed several grades thanks to a mixture of genius, a lack of caring guardians, and most importantly of all - being kidnapped by a witch possessed by a cosmic horror who brainwashed him all over again. all of these things should qualify testing out, yet mamoru didn't care that the youngest of the kings was a genius to rival mercury herself, he was desperate to see him make friends.

and somehow, getting kicked out of two schools hadn't sent the message that zoisite wasn't interested. he had hoped that after the second one called, horrified by the lengths that the young man had been willing to go to exact revenge upon a handful of arrogant "bullies", that mamoru would let the issue be and allow him to test out.

no luck.

so here he is standing at the front of the class, wearing a smile that absolutely does not reach his eyes. his long copper curls are pulled up and back to accommodate the school's dress code, though his bangs still hang in front of his face. his posture is unassuming and demure, hands folded behind his back and expression almost shy underneath the long fringe of hair.

but anyone even remotely immune to those big green eyes would be able to tell it's nothing more than a ruse.

and perhaps, most importantly, that while he was near invisible to any sixth sense when standing behind the door - once he took his position at the teacher's side and began to speak, the energy radiating from him was nearly suffocating to anyone who could sense it. rolling off of him in waves as his irritation grew, only to disappear as he was finally released from the task of introducing himself (marion johansen, though i suppose it would be - johansen marion here?) and where he was from (i was born in kyiv, though i spent a great deal of time in moscow) and what has brought him to japan (my family sought a fresh start so we moved here) and free to sit at his new desk.

... and free to eye the other students.

not long ago, he would be oh so eager to soak up the energy radiating off of them. the all-too human anxieties. the stress and fear of whether they are loved and worthy, the terror that is first love. one of the worst parts about coming back to life was that sense returning, the imminent pressure of other people's emotions and injuries pressing in on him. once he had been soft, vulnerable to each and every hurt.

now he just wished they'd grow tougher skin.

... but one in particular catches his mind's eye, his energy particularly sharp. something far more powerful than your average person... it reminded him of an unawakened youma. or perhaps the untapped spiritual power of sailor mars, rolling off of her even in civillian form.

the blonde cranes his head around to find the source, his eyes immediately falling upon a studious young man with his head bent to his page... before sliding to the teen behind him, with the slicked back hair and rough expression.

leaning forward and pillowing his face in his hand, marion smiles to himself.

perhaps this won't be such a boring school after all.

[maedaeme]

girl who is normal about vampires, twirling his hair: hiii how do yours versions of vampires work, fascinated by the fact they seem to have some sort of functioning immune system

Also how did eave and Endymion meet

guy who is also trying to be normal about vampires: hiii i got carried away

vampire bodies are constantly adapting and changing - they carry special cells that, if passed to a non-vampire, immediately start attacking and overwriting everything in the host body. if they survive, now you have a new vampire. amazing.

it's impossible to tell exactly what sort of new traits or abilities a new vampire will have, because the process isn't the same for everyone. vampires also tend to develop unique abilities over time.

example: lazarus doesn't have a heart because he got torn into like 6 pieces and lost it. this would 100% kill any vampire ever. he survived somehow and to this day no one has any fuckin clue how the hell he became the world's most indestructible man.

(art @ zombiebass)

that said, most vampires do:

have fangs (obviously)

need blood (obviously)

get roasted in sunlight (of course)

need to hibernate because a little nap just doesn't cut it. they can stay awake for weeks but then they need to clock out for days. in a coffin. because why not.

the older a vampire gets, the more unique and strange they tend to be, until they're eventually considered an 'elder' vampire. elder vampires are all different, but they're usually Giant Monsters.

this is gluttony. he's an elder vampire and a massive asshole.

(art @ monsterfaye)

It's very rare for vampires to get sick because most germs and viruses just can't survive in them - their bodies change too fast. unless you catch something that endymion made, at which point you are probably screwed.

how endymion and eave met is REALLY COMPLICATED, but the short of it is that:

eave tracked endymion for ages because he wanted endymion's research

endymion let him because eave was in his 'other people's problems are not my business' phase and was unlikely to turn him in

the more they interacted, the more they both realized that they were incredibly similar with polar opposite morals and they were probably going to end up killing each other.

they keep putting off the killing each other to argue about what the most interesting part of heart surgery is. and kiss.

it's been centuries and neither of them has really given in. but sometimes endy stops causing problems for a while and no one knows it's because he is distracted making a four month long passive-aggressive and over dramatic apology to his ex-ex-ex-ex-ex husband. they're a mess. you know how it goes.

[illmatter]

@weaveshadows / endymion.

he startles when endymion rolls and meets his eyes. the night is dark, and he can't sleep -- his mind is roiling with thoughts of blood in his teeth and he has found himself watching the paladin for long stretches of time.

endymion is awake, it seems, and it means immeral looks. . .bashful, perhaps, if he could feel shame. he simply turns away to pretend as if he weren't staring, his shoulders hunched forward.

" go back to bed. "

[libidomechanica]

Untitled # 12660

Too rarely hew: but thee, and thus.     Faire be there is flight: and lived, and lastly now of trees.—Then     she laugh’d nor chid: so that press. Boon south, for that hold; and sky.     Smiling Beauty, thy guilt

brought worths surmount. Which her victorie,     her faults ye will contaynd in you, hopelesse lay; and should     not beauty of new pride amongst whome by his oozy through     to descry their cruel snare

employ, shower far, ere from     becoming music has powers and small point, and redder that     first—they should I give for myself crumbled on the could not     plaintive anthemes sweet.

With ease his clumsy hold; and white,     sleeping in this a sacred the blood and one more endurance     girl, said he, the ghost, since got another strength, that the     wind the air she did again.

Doubt which my spirit, overwhelming     tide of ruin! Blythe waves, or let my verse where peals     to kill? And natural sympathy, universal nature     me though I leaues and London’s

so fair; heap the comfort is,     she keeps slipped by all shot up with conqueror at leave you     held his song to the Spyder there lifted up their sweet fell     it was of spice and seeker

still and traced some yeare exylde     longwhile Endymion. Think that when her vnspotted pleasant     guise, when we court to the sounds theyr amazed, without one, sky-     pointing their grief its thorns

and listens to gloss. He woke as     well. The slope to secret all the Mauis sinfull thrall: their eyes     looking with such cool and put claim. The mortal, for me, tired,     you see. She says Rose,—

tell me, is vaine to depriue resembling     it with her eyes of trust not one of this one. I say,     when pause, but theyr famous mothers. Dost hold your humbles at     the most deeds, then should grief

it flash themselves the more augmented     man rais’d nor barn nor house with honour and how all the     Muses! But pure affections and the fire was at my hart     robbing with his clumsy

hold; and in your temple, this     therewith dancingly though publics, reverence from fray: and     look’d—’twas too long maintaines: her guile continued fusion     of the hart I try; tyran

Honourable old, of the     and I’m come hame against Time’s creeps from yourselves are all weary     years re-sighing to its here, the cried and wrapt him softly,     all from Dolly twitch’d

foes. How euer loue denied, and heard     somewhere to laud the goodwill he too high employ’d for the     two deliverers day: fayre, and listen; anon upon     him, and sweet lass, hissing

oldest charm of wolves not looking,     long in the forth, thought you then. Down to death which lay him awake,     and tread my life or death. In time, Sir Laureate, shall     I love the spent, affrayd.

[inkandarsenic]

Like an arrow straight and true

Every fiber of my soul points to you

The sun and stars are outshone

For you are a beauty like none other

The light of your grace and power,

Though delicate, is filled with quiet strength

Oh moon of my life

Know that though this mortal shell may sleep

My soul is always awake for you

- Selene

Your face as you sleep is peaceful

There is quiet joy as I pass over you

I can almost convince myself

That you are waiting for me

Your eternal slumber is my gift from Zeus

A moment in time

Frozen for all eternity

Oh my sun and stars

Though I have cursed you to remain forever

The moon itself declares my love for you

- Endymion

[spei-sidus]

Free Day

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

No Archive Warnings

Written for UsaMamo Week 2023, Day 5

Neo Queen Serenity goes back in time to go on a date with First Season Mamoru.

Neo Queen Serenity had just finished her duties for the day. She sat lost in thought in the Royal Garden. Endymion was away on a diplomatic mission. Small Lady was still in the past, training. It left Serenity feeling very bereft. She longed to hear her mother’s voice again. Her parents and brother had passed away – peacefully – a few hundred years prior. That was the hardest part about living a long life – she sorely missed everyone she’d grown up with: her family, Naru, Motoki, and others were all gone. How she longed to see them again…

A plan formed in her mind. She’d have to be very cautious, or she’d have one very irate Senshi of Time on her hands. She’d use the Ginzuishou so that only echoes of her visit remained.

Glancing furtively about and seeing no one around, she pulled the Lunar Pen out of her subspace pocket and said, “Moon Power! Transform me into teenaged Usagi!” She felt the power, old and familiar, wash over her, shrinking her limbs, lessening her bosom, and change her silver hair back to the blonde it had been before Serenity fully took over. She was even clad in her old high school uniform – no doubt a subconscious thought on her part. Was she really going to school? No, if it was a weekday, she was taking a Free Day.

A brush of the Ginzuishou with her mind activated the power that she knew would rouse the worry of her Senshi. She wouldn’t be gone long, but she knew they’d stop her if she told them what she was about to do. Within seconds she vanished, materializing in Usagi’s bedroom in the 20th century. She’d chosen to come to the time before the revelation of Mamoru’s identity and that of the princess. She’d also placed 20th century Usagi in a void of sorts. She’ll think she was sleeping. It wouldn’t do to have the two Usagi’s meet and cause havoc.

“What’s the date?” she wondered, right as her mother came barreling in with a spatula in hand.

“Usagi! You’re awake!” her mother spluttered. “And dressed!”

“Yes, Mom,” Serenity said, smiling tenderly at her mother. She rushed her mother in a typical Usagi fashion, wrapping her arms around her. “Mom, I love you.”

“I love you, too, Usagi,” her mother said, somewhat bewildered. ‘Usagi, are you feeling alright?”

“Of course!” Serenity said cheerfully, her happiness at seeing her mother eclipsing all other emotion. “It’s just a beautiful day and I’m excited to be alive!”

Her mother smiled. “My happy Usagi. Never change, okay?”

“I promise,” Serenity said, content to know that she’d never lost her happy attitude, even in the middle of the most difficult political battles.

“Breakfast?”

“Definitely!” After they reached the kitchen, Serenity raced over to glomp her father. “Hi, Dad,” she said.

“Good morning, Usagi! You’re up early.”

“Yeah, it’s a miracle,” Shingo added. “Wait – what –” he was cut off by the fierce hug his sister was giving him.

“Good morning, Shingo.”

“What’s wrong with you?” he demanded uncomfortably. He was used to their bickering, not affection.

“I just love you, that’s all.”

She sat down to breakfast, taking her time savoring her mother’s cooking – cooking she’d missed out on thanks to her sleeping in all the time. “This tastes great, Mom,” she said sincerely when she’d almost finished.

“I’m glad you like it,” her mother said, beaming. “Now I’ve made your lunches. Please have a good day, both of you.”

“Bye, Mom!” they chorused as they headed out the door.

Serenity pondered whether to do Usagi’s morning dash. She had been confined to the palace since her ascendancy and thus hadn’t run outside in a very long time. So with a cheerful smile, she ran, her muscles well accustomed to the exercise. She was surprised at how deftly she was able to maneuver between the hapless pedestrians. She inwardly chuckled as she waited for the inevitable collision that would soon take place – although maybe it wouldn’t, since she was so early. Wouldn’t that be a fun surprise, to have her waiting for him for a change? Mamoru had admitted to her long after they were married that he’d staged these collisions in order to interact with her. Although she hated the detentions she’d gotten as a result, she also felt flattered – sorta – that he was that interested in her even from the beginning, when she had feared he only thought of her as an annoyance.

She had her answer fairly quickly. “Good morning,” she told the chest underneath her.

“Good morning, Odango Atama,” he said, the old nickname sending shivers down her spine. It was his special nickname for her, a term of affection, he’d told her. Endymion never called her that anymore.

She swiftly stood up, then held out a hand, which he looked at askance before he picked himself up, brushing himself off. He wasn’t wearing a school uniform, reminding her that it was possible he had the day off. If so, she’d join him. “What day is today?” she asked.

“It’s Tuesday,” he said incredulously. “Are you that scatterbrained that you don’t know what day it is?”

“Yep!” she said, refusing to argue with him. She knew that would confuse him more than anything, which appeased her argumentative side, but mostly, she just wanted him to have a pleasant interaction with her. “No classes for you today, right?”

“Right,” he said in surprise. “I didn’t know you noticed my schedule. Trying to avoid me?”

“Nope, just something I remembered.” She smiled. “You’re headed to the arcade for a coffee, right?”

“...yes?”

“Wonderful. I’ll join you.”

“No you won’t! You have school. I won’t let you be a delinquent-”

“Relax, will you? I’m taking a Free Day. I have things to discuss with you.”

“Really?”

She pulled out the one innocuous thing that would surprise him into his agreement: the Star Locket. His eyes went comically wide, then narrowed. “I think we can skip the arcade for this,” he said abruptly.

“No, no. I know you need your caffeine or you’re grumpy for the rest of the day.” With that she tugged his arm with her Senshi strength; not that it mattered, for he willingly kept pace with her. 

“Hi Motoki-oniisan!” she called out, her heart panging to see him again. She couldn’t give him a hug like her past self would once she ascended the throne. It was almost painful to refrain.

“Hi Usagi-chan! Your usual?”

She shook her head. “Coffee, please. Black.”

Motoki and Mamoru looked at her like she’d grown two heads, but she didn’t care. Being with a coffee loving husband for several hundred years had led her to enjoy the bitter beverage. She had sweets but rarely now.

“If you’re sure…? You got it.” 

“Thanks!” After Mamoru confirmed his order and the two got their coffees, she led them both to the corner booth she and the other Senshi typically used to talk.

“We won’t be overheard much here,” she said.

“So…” he started awkwardly. “Where’d you get the locket?”

“From you,” she said frankly. She went to stall him when he went to object, “It’s alright. I’m not here to force any confessions, Mamo-chan.” He choked on his coffee. “How’s school?”

“Don’t change the subject,” he muttered, glowering at her.

She sighed. “What would you like to hear?”

“Where you really got that locket.”

“You’re always such a skeptic, Mamo-chan. It’s okay to relax. I’m not here to hurt you. I want to give you a good day.”

“Why?”

“Because I love you.”

He gaped. “No you don’t,” he denied automatically. Serenity just regarded him tenderly, tracing his youthful features. He must have seen the sincerity in her gaze because his mouth snapped shut. A moment passed before he whispered, “Since when?”

“Well, I fell in love with part of you at the first battle at Osa-P,” she started, watching him gasp as the pieces came together for him. Her Mamo-chan was so smart! “I fell in love with the other part of you gradually over time. I’ve enjoyed our arguments.”

“...I see. Is this only because I’m Tuxedo Kamen?” 

“I fell in love with you as Mamoru before I knew your identity.”

“So what happens now?”

“I’m taking you on a date.”

“You’re asking me on a date?!”

“Yep! We’re going to the carnival, my treat.”

“I must be dreaming,” he said, pinching himself. “There’s no way any of this is happening.”

She laughed. “Maybe you are,” she teased, knowing he wasn’t going to remember much of anything when he awoke.

They spent the afternoon roaming the crowds, riding the carousel, sitting in the Ferris Wheel (Mamoru’s cheeks had burned when she cuddled up close to him), and of course, eating. Serenity teased him with the experience that she’d gained from being his wife for hundreds of years. He was still grinning when they walked to the street corner by her house. 

“I had a lot of fun today. Thank you, Odango.”

“You’re welcome,” she said feelingly. She wished she could accompany him home and warm his bed. She knew he was very lonely. But she didn't want to push it; teenaged Usagi wouldn't just throw herself wantonly like that. At least, not that far! He'd definitely object. “We’ll do this again sometime,” she said truthfully, releasing his hand and stepping back. Then she reversed course and leapt into his arms, and pulled him towards her with practiced hands, her lips locking with his.

She walked slowly away as he watched open-mouthed, a hand partially covering his face, and a blush staining his cheeks. She smiled, blew a kiss, and walked away. As soon as she sensed he had retreated, she surreptitiously teleported back to her present. “Moon Power, Reverse,” she whispered, then turned back around to find all of her Senshi and her husband standing there with mixed expressions of anger and relief.

“Where have you been?!”

“In the 20th century…saw my family…went on a date with Mamo-chan before we knew our identities and all.”

“Why don’t I remember this?” Endymion asked with a frown.

“I had to make it like a dream to avoid Pluto’s wrath,” she said guiltily, knowing he was very sensitive about memory related issues. “Here,” she said, her hands reaching out to his temples. The Ginzuishou flared as the events of her day were shared with him, and his memories were likewise awakened. Meanwhile, the other Senshi had left, grateful nothing had happened to their queen. 

“Thank you for keeping me company,” he said finally, with a warm smile.

“It was a Free Day well spent,” she said, giving him a gentle kiss. 

The End

[luxmaeastra]

Helion had come so far since the days of the war. That version of him had been so different, had always been running from her and from anything else that he couldn’t control or love. Look at how far he had come, she smiled as she brushed back some of his hair and nodded.

He had faith that this would all turn out well in the end, he had faith that no matter the end result everything would work out. She knew Sarai was strong, but she also felt for the boy. He was alone, as much as she was. He was scared and alone, she remembered that feeling.

“You know I am proud of you Helion,” she told him, kissing his cheek. “Thank you for not entirely condemning him, and I think you are right. Your sister is much stronger than we know.”

--------

The cup was smashed before it could even touch the boy's lips, Endymion stood tall over the pair of them. His gaze was hardened, disapproving. “This isn’t the way, this will not help her or make things easier. When she pulls through this and she finds out what you have done, that will kill her.”

After all, did he not scent the scents on the boy? She had marked him, they may have not completed the bond but her mark was there even if both parties were unaware. He wouldn’t stand by and watch as Thesan lost her twin sister because of stupidity, after all he enjoyed the time they had all spent together. A family, yes…They had become his family.

Hellas’s footsteps came behind them, his grandmother not far behind. It seemed the news had spread beyond the court walls is their matriarch of their family was here. Lilith was well known, well respected among the Valg. Even if some of her children dishonored her, she would always be respected and looked up to.

“The boy needs to be tended to and removed from this accommodation,” Hellas spoke up, ignoring the scene he had walked in upon. “Sarai is awake…”

Lilith smiled. “Bonds have a strange way of working, this little one has more bite than you give it credit for.” She mused as she turned. “We will bring them nearer to each other…I have a theory.”

Her heart raced as her fingers gripping a hold of the front of his shirt, her mind was spiralling as the memories and thoughts continued to hit her without regard to what she wanted. The panic that followed through her, the heartache her body felt. It was like bits and pieces of what had happened was missing, as if flashes of what had happened came and went without reason.

She could hear Helion yelling, she could hear her brother screaming at someone. The gentle hand of another touched her arm, a female presence which was not blood was nearby. Was that Helion’s-? Any sensible thought was gone as she froze, her body tensed as she bit her lip to keep herself from screaming. She wasn’t in pain though? No, she was, just not physically.

Her clothes were wet, had she been outside?

————————

“We can hunt him down Thesan, we can drag him back here to answer for what he has done?” Endymion stood at the end of the hallway with her. He remembered the sound of Thesan’s screams when they had come across her twin, when they found her wandering in the rain. He was not surprised how quickly Harrow had jumped to action, tearing into the direction she had come from as if he needed to rid the world of some monster.

Thesan had confessed to him as Helion, Amaya and Nephelle had arrived on the scene that Sarai had been meeting with a male, a male who had been courting her and promised her so many things. He vaguely remembered the change in her over the last little while, though he had not been paying attention solely for the fact his focus had been on her sister.

His hand reached out and touched her lower back, he knew how close this family was, he knew damn well if one of their own was hurt in anyway they’d close ranks. “You don’t think he was sent here to do this, to break her? Why would they do something like this? Your father and mother had always been good and just rulers.”

[ Trying to find that in to explore the Sarai things. ]

Armand took the money, counting it out. He nodded at the order from his handler to remain low profile, to stick to the outskirt inns.

He set his bag down, the runes etching on the wood to keep it safe. It would trigger if someone tried to take it.

His hands were shaking, his entire body was burning up. He squeezed his eyes shut, his nails digging into the wood. He needed to breathe through this, this high pitched whine needed to stop. He'd told his Handler of it but they hadn't worried - "A simple symptom of High Life Armand. I wouldn't think much of it."

So why couldn't he breathe? Why couldn't he get her out of his head? Why -

His nails were bloody and raw. He curled on the ground, trying to make the whine stop. He barley noticed the person in front of him. Barely heard him being followed. It was finesube they'd stop the whining, his Handler wouldn't save him for this. He'd done his duty and like all of them he supposed he'd been put out to pasture.

--------

Helion stared down at the kid, guant, runes were carved into his skin. A Thrall, a - he moved, gently moving his ear to find the numbers tattooed on his skin.

A Child of the Prisons, a Foundling. He probably only knew his name. He thought of Nephelle, the tattoo behind her ear.

The way she'd never believed him and he'd proven her right. Till he'd stopped being an idiot. But with their bond he could hear the song, crystal clear like a silver bell.

Harrow stepped forward the blade at his side gleaming. Helion barred his teeth, moving between them.

"We give him once chance Harrow. We don't kill people who don't understand -"

"He broke her Helion! How is that fair? Why should he get another chance to -"

"I know you love my sister..I know you're only doing this because you don't like seeing her hurt...but if I know anything about the Foundlings. He grew up with nothing and no teaching on our customs. We should give him one chance...and if he doesn't pass we can torture him till he is a helpless shell."

--------

Armand curled in a corner, his teeth barred. His claws dragging through the wood. He didn't know these people and that whining wouldn't stop. He barely glanced at the female who put some food down for him.

But her Soul Song was beautiful and bright. It reminded him of home, twisting corridors and walls of iron and ash. He turned to her, gripping her wrist.

"Is this the Handler? Did they - did I fail?"

Nephelle fought to control her tears, her rage at seeing it happen again. She'd been just as terrified, and when Helion had walked -

She swallowed and shook her head.

"This isn't them. This is - you're safe little brother. Your safe. Do you remember the girl? She - you did a good job in breaking her. She didn't last long after you were done. We are Tuning you before your next assignment."

She watched him deflate, watched his eyes shut and those nails dig into his skin. No Foundling would show this much emotion in front of another family or not. But he was too far gone to care, his magic was burning him up. Did he even know how to weild it? Was he still on those suppressants to keep it dormant? She wondered if he had the same lesson on Falconry she had a child.

She still remembered raising that baby chick, teaching it to fly. Watching it soar and learning to mimic it. She remembered how it's heart had beat wildly as she'd been asked to kill it with her hands and teeth. To swallow its still beating heart -

"Nothing lasts. You are not a person, you are a tool. Tools feel nothing, weapons feel nothing."

She slipped out of the room, greatful when Helion simply held her. Her eyes shut, focusing on his scent on his low voice in her ear. Counting every one of those whispers that swirled in her ears.

"Do you think this is Drakon's family? His father was furious when I left Helion. I -"

She exhaled and looked back to the door. Her fingers gripping his shirt.

"He's so broken, a discarded puppet that doesn't understand what's happening. He recognized my Soul-Song so we must have crossed paths or come from the same wing....why are you smiling?!"

"Becuase I've been trying to figure out who this male was for two weeks. I was trying to understand what Sarai saw in him but now....she wanted to help him right? That must have been how it started and it evolved from there."

He looked back to her, his eyes so soft for her..

"I know he isn't you. I know he may be beyond saving. But I refuse to go back to the person I was in that war Nephelle. I hated that version of myself where no one and nothing mattered. My parents would want me to try, to help him as much as I can. Even if he and Sarai don't work...she is strong..she will come back, she has to. I accept no other words. She will come back and he will be free of them."

--------

Harrow watched, he always watched. Watched Sarai blossom into something even the Sun hid it's light from. He watched her fall for another, someone she didn't know. Someone he never met and who she was ready to Fade for.

Did no one else see what he did? Did no one else understand what was happening? If they were tied - if this was the life she was destined for...

Better she die, better she find peace. Some people just felt too much to exist in this world. He looked down at the Creature. His pale blue eyes milky from whatever things his Handlers did.

He knelt before him, satisfaction curling through him as he flinched away. He must still hear the music the Prison had touched him with. His father had been a Warden in those streets, his mother one of the Handlers. He'd rejected that till now, till he could see it all slip away.

He told himself he wasn't doing this because he loved her. He told himself that he wasn't owed her love or attention.

But he wanted those things and maybe he was being selfish sending them both to The Otherworld like this. But she was too broken to be fixed and this Thing didn't deserve to breathe the same air as her.

He held the drink up to its lips.

"Drink. You'll find peace now."

[shnuggletea]

So... Mamoru is Endymion. Shocker I know! But what's he gonna do with that info? Thank you all for the awesome reviews and not cursing my name. I mean, some of you did but it was all in good fun. IT WAS ALL IN GOOD FUN!

I told you guys that I loved the last chapter and it was my favorite. Well, this one is Darkenedhrt's favorite. So I'm dedicating it to her. Here you go, raging and out of control Endymion off to find his 'wife'. Nothing like two people in your head to confuse the hell out of your personality! Personally, I love how the Shitennou react. Cracks me up!

Fanfiction HERE

AO3 HERE

Chapter 17

Her chest tightened to uncomfortable levels, causing her to wake up, the amount of anger that rolled into her was overwhelming and no amount of deep breathing seemed to calm it. She heard voices outside her room, yelling mixed with hushing. Getting out of bed, she stumbled, the emotions rolling into her were not her own and she struggled to cope.

Luna stood on the bed, looking after her as she wobbled towards the door. "Usagi-chan, are you alright?"

She couldn't even answer the question because she herself didn't know.

Managing to make it to the door, she flung it open, finding the boys, Minako and Makoto, all standing in the living room. Minako and Makoto had both clearly just woken up and stood bleary-eyed to the side. But once they caught sight of her, they snapped to attention, running to her side.

"Usagi-chan?"

"Usagi-chan are you alright?!"

Zoisite was pacing, all the boys looking agitated, even Kunzite was a bit on edge. "See! Look at her! This proves it for sure!"

"Proves what?!"

They all looked at her, concern etched on their faces at her current condition. Kun straightened, clearing his throat of his own nerves. "He has awakened. Endymion has returned. And I have a feeling he is on his way here now."

Makoto almost dropped her. "What?!"

"You could have said that sooner! We should get her out of here!" Minako was pushing her to the door and Kunzite stopped her.

"It doesn't matter where you take her, he will find her. They are connected. Look at her! You think she is ill? No, that is Endymion!"

More anger billowed in, nearly bringing her to her knees. "Why is he so pissed? I thought you said he loved me? If he loves me, then why the hell is he doing this to me?!" Kun smirked and she had to fight the urge to smack him.

"Endymion has only one weakness, Usagi, and that is you. Waking up and you not being there with him, he has probably lost it."

She managed a glare at Jadeite. "That is putting it lightly! And I am not his weakness, Serenity is! It is not my fault he woke up all alone!"

"Isn't it though?"

Neph looked her over, straight-faced and honest with his words and she only found it more confusing. She opened her mouth to ask more from him but was silenced when the floor began to shake.

"What the hell? An Earthquake?"

Jadeite shook his head at Makoto. "An Earthquake would be better."

"Oh shit, he is PISSED! He is going to kill us for sure."

Zoisite started to pace again while Kunzite went to the door, opening it wide and stepping back. She gave him a curious look. "I don't want him busting the door down. We have a deposit that I would very much like to get back."

She rolled her eyes and bright, white light filled the room for a second, a roll of thunder following shortly after. Even with Endymion's anger boiling over inside her, she still jumped and squeaked at the sound.

"Jesus, he is going to bring down the whole building!"

She grimaced at the boys, partly due to her frustration and partly due to the pain she was experiencing. "I thought you guys said something about him having better control. Whatever that means!"

Zoisite still paced, all of them edging around the room while looking pale. Neph looked around wildly as if Endymion would appear anywhere in the room at any second. "He does have control but not when his emotions are out of whack."

The building continued to shake and thunder continued to roll outside. "Oh, this is ridiculous!" She pushed away from Makoto's and Minako's hold, standing in the middle of the room before the door. "Come on already then! Come and get me, Endymion! I am not afraid of you!"

As if controlled by her, everything became still and silent, causing his voice to ring out eerily. "You should be."

Startled, she jumped, facing the door and finding him standing in it. "Mamoru?" He walked casually into the room as if he owned the place. Not a care in the world. "You shouldn't be here. Endymion will be here any second now."

Yet another wave of pure anger rolled into her but she managed to remain standing, not wanting to alarm Mamoru. If he thought she was in trouble, he would never leave.

Once inside the room, the boys all stopped and fell to a bent knee before Mamoru. "Oh, Kami. Get up, you idiots!" They all looked up at him, questioning looks on their faces. "I said get up!"

They all jumped up, standing rigidly before him. Mamoru walked before them like a man inspecting his troops. Then he stopped, grabbing each of them behind the neck and pulling them into him in a fierce hug.

"It is good to see all of you again."

The anger lessened, making her able to stand and speak while watching the small and respectable lovefest before her. She glanced around, finding the girls just as confused as she was. "Mamoru?"

The men released one another quickly, a short man hug between the five of them. "But you all still kept me in the dark."

They each bowed their heads, Kun being the only one brave enough to speak. "Forgive us, my lord. For that and for many other things. We did try to awaken you… but it was not meant to be us."

At that, Mamoru spun to face her, anger hitting her hard again. It matched the look on his face and the fire in his eyes. "That's right. It was my little Serenity's job, wasn't it? And she refused."

"What?"

She was reeling, her mind spinning, which wasn't helped when Mamoru lifted her up into his arms. "If you will excuse us. I need a moment alone with my wife."

Tiny electric shocks hit her from every part of that touched him and it hurt. Her last glance behind them as he carried her to her room was Kun and Neph jumping over the couch and restraining Makoto and Minako. The two of them fully planning to come after her until then.

The door slammed behind them and he set her back on her feet. "Pack!"

She was still swimming, trying to keep up with it all. "What?"

He was at her dresser, his back to her while he started opening drawers. "I said pack! You are not staying here!"

Now her own anger came to the surface. "You can't tell me what to do!"

Turning on his heel, he glared at her, his anger nearly forcing her to the floor. "The hell I can't! No wife of mine is going to stay with four men!"

She barely managed to stand straight, forcing herself to remain tall. "I am not your wife! And those four men are your friends!"

He stepped up to her, her knees buckling, but she forced them back up. "I took vows, same as you, to be with you forever. That means even in death and the life after Serenity."

"I am NOT Serenity, I am Usagi and you are Mamoru. What is wrong with you?!"

This time, she did buckle, making it to her bed to sit as she was overwhelmed with the rage of someone else. "You feel that don't you? Once I woke up, breaking your barrier was no problem. Notice that I am not touching you for you to feel it either? That's because you and I have a bond. An unbreakable connection that we have always had. Since we were children!"

"...Endymion?"

He did a small and mocking clap. "There she goes. She finally gets it. And YOU kept us apart. Out of what? Stubbornness? Selfishness? Fear?!"

Her vision began to swim, black edging at her vision. "Mamoru...please stop.."

"Months Serenity. For months you have been awake without me and then, when you found out that it was up to you to awaken me, you refused!"

She leaned back on the bed, hoping to fall back on it instead of the floor. "Endymion, you are hurting me!"

His anger left her, a weight lifting off her chest in an instant, and she almost fell over from the sudden lack of it. Her vision cleared, finding him kneeling before her, holding her upright. He did his best to send soothing waves through her, but the guilt was there as well.

With a gentle hand, he brushed away a few wild hairs from her face, a few strands coming free from her braid. "I'm sorry."

He still knelt before her, both his hands on her hips and watched her. "You know, I'm pretty sure you caused your men out there to wet their pants."

"But you weren't afraid."

Shaking her head, she kept her eyes on him as he kept his on hers. "I know you would never hurt me. Not intentionally anyway."

She felt his guilt again, his eyes leaving hers, but she grabbed his face to pull it back up to hers. "I will never hurt you again. Unintentional or otherwise."

She giggled, but he didn't smile. "Well, that's not true. How will we train?"

He stood, going back to her dresser again. "You won't be training. Not anymore."

She pushed off the bed, her own anger starting to flare up again. "Excuse me?"

"I'm benching you. You are not fighting anymore. I will protect you and the Earth. It is my duty, not yours."

"Are you serious?!"

"Very! Now, where is your suitcase?"

She stomped over to her dresser next to him and slammed the drawer he stood at shut. "Stop it, I am not going anywhere!"

He opened it again. "Yes, you are."

She slammed it shut again and he barely got his hand out before it got crushed. "No, I am NOT!"

"You are not going to live with other men!"

"And just where do you expect me to live?!"

"With me, your husband!"

"YOU ARE NOT MY HUSBAND! Serenity and Endymion were married, not us! They are dead!"

"That is a small and inconsequential detail."

She stomped her foot, her frustration shimming through her to him causing him to grimace. "It is not!"

"Fine, then let's get married."

All the blood drained from her face and it felt as if the wind was knocked out of her. "What?"

"You're right. Serenity and Endymion were married. And according to this world, we are Usagi and Mamoru. So we should get remarried."

"You can't be serious."

"Why do you keep asking me that?"

She moved away from him, needing as much distance as possible from him for fear she might strike him at any moment. "You have lost your mind! Regaining your memories has changed you because you are crazy!"

Her back was to him, unable to look at him at that moment. So she didn't see him approach, just felt his arms around her as he pulled her in tight to him. "You make me crazy."

Her heart was racing in her chest and he spun her around, his lips crashing to hers in an instant. Her brain was spinning, wave after wave of affection and love crashing over her from him, making her heart swell and thump against her rib cage.

After a few moments, he pulled away, only to lift her up off her feet. "Kami, I have missed you so much."

His mouth was on hers again, silencing any thoughts she had other than his lip as she pulled it into her mouth, sucking and nipping on it. He moaned against her, his tongue sliding across her bottom lip, gaining him entrance to her mouth and a moan from her in return.

Pulling her to him tighter, she wrapped her legs around him, not really sure what she was doing. Her body seemed to know just what to do and how to respond to him. She was aching for him, not sure how much of that was from him or from herself, but the only way she could describe it was as wanting.

Her back hit the bed before she even realized he was lowering them and now he laid on top of her. His hands roamed her body, touching and caressing places, the right places. Like he knew exactly what to do while she did not. Her hands felt clumsy, shaking as they moved up his chest to his shoulders.

Pulling his mouth away from hers, he led a trail across her jaw and down to her neck. When he reached her collar bone, her body arched in response, offering herself up to him. His hands worked their way up her t-shirt, pulling it up to her chest, leaving her bare to the cold air in her room.

His mind opened to hers, she read him with ease. He was planning on making love to her, right then and there with a room full of people just on the other side of her door.

"Wait...stop...we can't."

He groaned, the vibration running from his lips to her skin. "Yes, we can."

"No...the others."

"I don't care."

She shoved hard on his shoulders, breaking the contact. "I care!"

"Kami, Serenity, you are so stubborn."

Her heart cracked, splintering into a thousand pieces while tears pooled in her eyes. She couldn't even look at him, pushing him up so she could wiggle her way out from under him. "I am not Serenity."

"Usako…"

"No! Endymion loves Serenity okay, I get it. But Mamoru? He does NOT love Usagi. Never has. Maybe at one point, I was okay with that, but not anymore. Not in this life. I refuse to be some stand-in for someone who died over a century ago."

She pulled her shirt back down roughly, gaining her freedom and getting away from him and her bed. "Wait Usagi."

"I think you should go."

Her back was to him again. She could feel him searching her feelings and her mind. "You don't remember."

She huffed, pulling her head up to the ceiling and letting her tears fall back to her ears. "Remember what?"

He was still searching her, assessing her and she was sick of it. Pushing him out, he gasped, but then slowly got up from the bed. She thought he was going to wrap her up in his arms again, coming to stand behind her.

"I've hurt you again….I'm sorry. I thought...I thought you remembered."

The pain he felt mirrored hers but cut in half in comparison. It was different, more like mourning. Perhaps he finally came to terms with reality, that his Serenity is gone.

She couldn't stop herself from watching him as he walked past her and out the door. As soon as the lock clicked into place, she flung herself back to the bed and sobbed.

~*O*~

"Take it the reunion didn't go as planned?"

He glared at her, the blonde sitting alone in the living room mocking him. "Screw you, Aphrodite."

"Ho, now, is that any way to talk to your new best friend?"

He grabbed his chest, the splintering from Usagi's heart reaching his tenfold. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"You didn't really expect to walk in there and her accept you as her long lost husband did you?"

"Kinda yeah?!"

She shook her head, chuckling, "But she isn't. She is Usagi."

"I KNOW that!"

"And you are Mamoru."

"Would you get to your fucking point?"

She laughed again, standing and poking him in the chest with her finger. "Usagi believes that Mamoru didn't love her."

"Which is ridiculous!"

"Oh is it? Did he tell her he loved her? Did he show her any genuine interest BEFORE he started getting his memories? Look, I'm on your side, I know both Mamoru and Endymion love Usagi. But that doesn't change the fact that Usagi feels as though you are just using her as a look-a-like."

He gripped his hair, feeling the need to rip it out in his frustration. "She's not a look-a-like!"

She patted his shoulder, a feeble attempt to calm him. "As I said, I'm on your side."

He relented, releasing some of his tension with a heavy breath. "What is it you suggest I do then?"

She shrugged, walking away and towards Kun's room. "I don't know. But if you want Usagi, you need to prove to her that Mamoru loves USAGI, not Serenity."

She shut the door behind her, leaving him alone in the dark. "Oh...is that all…."

Not as bad of a cliff hanger, right? Stay tuned lovelies!

[mysterious-prophetess]

If I’m in my room for any length of time, this happens. Must be an unspoken cat thing that the boys hang out here.

[peggy-sue-reads-a-book]

Honestly it broke my heart when Deidamia was mean to Patroclus and they fucked anyway because every time he describes himself it’s how he perceives he’s being judged. It’s tragic as shit. And even if Achilles had showered Patroclus with praise, Pat wouldn’t include it in the story because he was so focused on saving Achilles’ memory. With that, some thoughts I think Achilles had:

Oh no, what if he gets in trouble. What if he gets beaten or — he’s so shy that can’t happen to him, he’s be so humiliated I gotta find him PAT! PAT! BUDDY, WHERE’D YOU GO?!

He can play whatever fucking lyre he wants, you prick.

Imma boop his nose. No wait that’s so weird he’ll— imma boop his nose with my nose. Agh no— OH SHIT IM DOIN IT. IM BOOPING HIS NOSE.

OH SHIT IM DOIN IT IM RUNNIN UP THE BEACH

Dad I don’t want new frenn I want Pat.

We are older. He is taller than me now.

This fucking little statue. It’s fucking me. I fucking love it. Oh god I like it so much. It’s so cute. Oh man oh shit oh god I look like a derp because I like this fucking little me so much.

My beautiful boy my beautiful boy my beautiful boy my beautiful — fuck, he’s done brushing his teeth. Play it cool.

Maybe if I impale myself with a stick he would rub some nice salve on me and bandage me up with his strong hands. Achilles, you sly dog. 😎

Patpatpat I hadadream you didn’t love —That we— oh thank god I’m awake and he’s holding me.

He’s still asleep with his arms around me and hasn’t let go all night. His chest pressing into my back is so warm I could cry. Thank god he’s still asleep. He wouldn’t want me if he knew how I needed him, how it really was. I’m getting the pillow soaking wet, his hand is curled just beside my cheek and my tears slide between his fingers. Shit. I mean to ease away from him but all my body will do is hug tight the sleep-heavy arm circling my chest. Endymion clutching the moon’s perfect crescent. What will he think of me? What if he regrets — oh shit, I’m gonna wake him up, I’m shaking so bad and crying so loud and he— Achilles? Fuck. Achilles, are you ok? Hey, easy. It’s ok. Oh no, come here. Is it your mom? Achilles, it’s alright. Don’t you know nothing can take me away from you? It’s alright. Everything’s alright.

You ever felt like you could eat the world but like … not cook it? Gotta be a word for that. oh my god look at him. I will literally do anything to get him to come put his head in my lap and look at my face so I can look at his face and he can look at my face and his big sad eyes are so sweet how is anyone so sweet?!

How imma ever stop kissing this cute face? How imma ever stop smooshing this cute bod? Omg I missed a spot! Imma kiss it. My beautiful boy how could I ever stop loving you.

I swear it. My most beloved.

Scyros isnt so far. He’ll never stop looking for me. He couldn’t do that, not when he knows I’ll die without—-

—he thinks I left him. Oh my god, he thinks I don’t want him— I— what— no- he must be so angry and I can’t even tell him -I can’t even say — oh my god I broke his heart.

Pat you can’t leave again I didn’t want to do it I missed you I was dying it was like dying Pat dont you get it I did it for you I did everything for you I had to do it I had to be with you don’t you get it Patroclus I couldn’t let you think I left you I would do anything I would kill myself before I let you think I didn’t want you please can’t you see me can’t you fucking see my face I didn’t want to i don’t want anything but you all I want is you Patroclus please say something.

I will never leave him. It will be this, always, for as long as he will let me.

[thegreyj]

The Garden of Wounds

Okay, here you go @morganofthewildfire finally! I struggled a lot with this chapter, especially since the story is shifting a bit now, but I hope you like it! Everything will make sense... eventually 🤭

Also I will fix this post later on but here you go for now 🙈

CW: mentions of death

Chapter seven: Where is Aelin?

She blinked once. Then twice. The walls were the same, dull grey they always were. The lights were off, but she knew the walls, even if she couldn't see them. The smell was the same too. Sweat, blood and terror. Her terror.

She wished she could just go back to the oblivion she was in for that brief moment when her heart stopped, but of course that wasn't possible. Not in this life. Not for her anyway.

Tears were threatening to fall down, but she wouldn't let them. Couldn't let them. He would realise her fear and pain if she allowed them out, and only the gods knew what would happen if he succumbed to whatever she was feeling. No, showing emotions was a luxury she didn't get to experience, not if she wanted to live. Or die, whichever allowed her to be forgotten by her torturer first. This was no life to live, but it was the only one she had. If only things were different.

Suddenly the people in the room figured out she was awake. He noticed, and she could feel his gaze on her. The malice oozing from him was almost tangible.

"Celaena, dear," his voice was dripping with pretend care. It was a lie, all a lie. She knew it, but he still acted for the sake of the other people in the room. "You're awake, dear. Thank the gods."

She would thank the gods when they finally allowed her to stay dead. She felt like rolling her eyes at the fake worry he was showing off, but didn't dare. Instead, she just closed her eyes and allowed herself to be pulled back to unconsciousness.

–

"Celaena, dear," the voice made her shiver, and not in the nice way. "I know you're awake."

If she was still the same naive girl, she might want to open her eyes in the hopes of seeing love and worry in his face. She might still hope he actually cared for her.

But she knew better.

She didn't want to open her eyes.

She had to.

She was trying, but the eyelids felt so heavy.

She wanted to scream. Her name was not Celaena, it never had been.

**

"My name is not Celaena!" She screamed as she opened her eyes. Warm light was surrounding her, candles flickering around her. Confusion struck her, when she heard an elderly woman speak.

"All right then, dearie. What is your name then?" 

Aelin didn't answer. She couldn't, for the fear of this being just a cruel ruse by him. She wouldn't speak more until she knew what was going on, until she could trust that she knew. Slowly, she allowed her eyes to close. Maybe the woman would think she fell asleep again, while she allowed her other senses to figure out what was happening. 

Where was she?

**

Endymion Whitethorn was raging. No one had ever seen him so angry, he always presented himself as calm and collected, as the intelligent man he was. But not this time. His cousin had done something unforgivable, making him lose yet another loved one.

"Maybe she just doesn't want to be found," Rowan's voice came out nonchalantly. Enda ground his teeth together. How dare he? They had been trying to find Aelin for two days now, and they had no idea where she was. The rainstorm had wiped away all the tracks there might have been, and Aelin was clever enough to know how to move in a way to keep unwanted attention away. 

"You keep your mouth shut! This is all your fault, Rowan!" Enda was pointing a finger at his cousin. "You just better hope she's okay and not-."

No, he wouldn't betray Aelin's trust like that by blabbering her secrets to someone who she didn't know.

"Not what? Not with her husband? Maybe she went back," Rowan shrugged.

"WENT BACK?! Are you insane, she would rather die than go back to that- that- that monster," Enda screamed and threw his hands up in the air, before he continued his pacing. His cousin, however, didn't have the faintest clue to know when to keep his mouth shut.

"Maybe we should consider the fact that she might be, you know, dead."

If only Rowan had sounded a bit more like he cared, Enda might not have attacked him. In the blink of an eye, the chair Rowan had been sitting in was toppled over and Enda was about to hit his cousin again, before the gentle arms of Elias pulled him away from the scuffle.

"Come on, Enda, let's go and leave the brooding man to brood. We can map out the possibilities of where Aelin might be. Rowan, you stay and mull over for a bit before even considering talking to Enda again. We all need a little break from this madness. I made lunch," Elias took on the role of peacemaker.

The couple walked away leaving Rowan to his own thoughts. He knew better than to bait his cousin, but the guilt was overwhelming him. He wasn't used to feeling guilt over anything other than his wife, let alone a stranger who had been trespassing on his property. Then again, she hadn't been trespassing, not really.

Rowan had been looking through his cottage for some clues of her whereabouts, even though it had been a longshot. And he hadn't found any clues, no. Instead, what he had found had broken his already injured heart even more. He began to feel things he hadn't felt in years.

Aelin's journal had been open on the kitchen table, and at first he hadn't noticed it. But when he had, and began reading it… so many things started to make sense. Why Aelin was there, why she had been so attached to his property. Aelin had written about her nightmares and her life before getting out. 

Rowan truly felt sorry for her going missing. It had been his fault, he had acted without thinking. But he wouldn't admit that out loud. Instead, he wanted to feel the pain he knew Enda would make him feel in a fight. Maybe the guilt wouldn't be eating him alive if he felt a little bit of the pain he knew he had caused her to feel.

Sighing deeply, Rowan got up from the floor before straightening the chair back to its place.

–

Enda had calmed down a bit after eating the delicious lunch Elias had prepared. Not that he had actually tasted any of it, being so lost in his thoughts. Rowan had eventually snuck in to the dining room to eat as well. Enda paid him no attention, if only to keep his emotions in check.

The pair of cousins might look the same, but they couldn't be more different. Where Rowan was brooding, full of brutal force and led by his anger, Enda was a kind soul, strategic thinker and always ready to help others. 

Elias had drawn the area on a canvas, maybe it would help them in figuring out where Aelin might be. They knew the general direction Aelin had gone, and without any of her stuff, she wouldn't have been able to go far. But they had searched under every stone, behind every tree. No trace of her anywhere.

Unless…

Someone had her.

Please don't let it be that monster, Enda begged in his thoughts. He had no idea, but Rowan was hoping for the same thing.

–

Aelin had woken up to darkness. The warm light from before was gone, and she was left with the eerie feeling of being watched. The place smelled nice and sweet, almost like someone had been baking.

"Oh, dearie, you seem to be awake once more," the same gentle female voice spoke. The confusion that was present when she last had woken was yet again taking over. Where was she? Who was the lady?

"I'm sorry, you probably don't see very well. Let me light the candles," the woman said before getting to work. She was moving quite effortlessly, despite having a crooked back. She looked old as well, and she was eluding a kind of warmth that had Aelin smiling. "Well look at that, you have a very beautiful smile, dearie."

The woman smiled back.

Maybe Aelin wasn't anywhere malicious this time around. It was most likely her dreams were just making her paranoid. Suddenly she felt a hand on her forehead. How did she miss such an obvious movement? She flinched at the intrusion, but the lady ignored her small action.

"Good, looks like your fever is dying down. You were quite delirious when we found you, dearie."

Aelin blinked in confusion and opened her mouth to speak. Only no words came out, as her mouth felt drier than sand, which made her involuntarily swallow. Not that there was anything to swallow, so she ended up coughing.

The woman offered her a cup of water, which she drank quickly.

"Where-," Aelin began before clearing her voice. "Uh, where am I?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, dearie. You are in my home, you are safe. I've seen you around the village, I assume you live around here," the woman's words made no sense. Aelin hadn't been heading towards the village, had she? "We found you walking about, not in your right mind. You put up quite a battle too, when we tried to get a warm cloak on you."

The old lady sniffed, as if she was on the brink of crying. She then grabbed Aelin's hand and held it close.

"You were so sick when we got you here. I was worried you were going to die," the woman cried softly. Aelin felt like she had ended up in someone else's life. Who was this woman? Why had she saved her? "You just remind me so much of my dear late daughter. I'm sorry, you don't want to hear an old lady cry out her misery." 

The lady got up and tried to let go of Aelin's hand, but Aelin squeezed it in a comforting manner before trying to speak.

"It's ok." Then a silence took over them. They stayed still, holding hands, both comforting the other. After a while, Aelin broke the quiet. "You can call me Aelin. What is your name?"

"Elena Ashryver."

--

Tags: