#empires s2 joel

[forestanomaly]

Could we get a God Joel from Empires 2 please? :3

Yes you can!

Oops, I think we've caught him being scolded by Mayor of Critter City herself! P.s. reblogs are aprecciated.. um.... thank you!! runs away

[daily-joel]

Day 36 - Words Original image:

[exiledsundew]

Day 10 of Empirestober: Rules

Ignore the random dots, my Markers were having issues today. I'm also aware I'm posting this on the 11th, I've been overly busy and haven't been able to start day 11 yet

[occasonal-empires-doodles]

The Sheriff and a God

☆》 4 《☆

[arthropod-concoctions]

part 9 (final part)

Joel tried to resist the grip pulling him into the water, but found himself overwhelmed as his head was pulled under the surface. Images started to flash in his mind, some looking familiar to him, some not so much. The Mezalean Palace, in all its glory. A little house on a hill, burning to ashes. Jimmy- the Codfather- fleeing from a shaking machine with count fWhip. Jimmy- the Sheriff- shouting at him for stealing his hat. Running with an army of wolves, chasing people he didn't recognise. A rectangular edge surrounding all of it, the whole Universe contained within a-

You see it now, right? Joel heard himself saying. All of this is Lore. EVERYTHING is Lore! Without it, we wouldn't even exist!

The visions continued on. All the emperors jumping over a table, fighting over a crown. A figure covered in shadows summoning massive tentacles from the ground. Himself rapping to fWhip while jimmy beatboxes. He wasn't really beatboxing, the music was playing in a different

All of it was dizzying to Joel. Is this just what it's constantly like in your head? He said.

Yeah, pretty much, was the reply. I know everything that's ever happened. Cool, right?

This is a nightmare. I almost feel bad for you.

While still overwhelming, Joel was beginning to see some coherence in the flashes of vision. Twelve rulers, sitting around a campfire, ready to face the world. Joel wandering off, looking for a location to settle. Joel ignoring the nagging feeling tugging him towards the mesa; Jimmy had already claimed that land. How did he know that?

Feel bad? You shouldn't feel bad, you should be jealous. This doesn't bother me at all. The Lore fixed that weird feeling I had, and made me a perfect, handsome god on top of that!

But Joel had seen Joel's face in the fountain. The Lore was affecting him, even if he didn't notice it. And with visions of everything that had ever happened at his fingertips, Joel was beginning to get an understanding of how this had happened. Gradually, he managed to steer the visions so he could see the picture clearly.

The twelve original rulers, all dying or disappearing. The Universe reviving them one by one. The Universe trying to reincarnate someone that had never died, and succeeding. But not quite. A group call to discuss the start of a new season. Joel coming across a magical fountain. Joel jumping into the fountain, and feeling it fill the gaping hole in his soul with knowledge that could never properly fit inside. Joel emerging from the fountain with everything he'd ever wanted, and the knowledge that none of it was real.

Wait, how are you doing that? It's supposed to just wash over you, you can't just...

The Lore didn't fix you at all. You were never meant to exist like this. It was neither the king of Mezalea nor the god of Stratos speaking. A fractured mind couldn't possibly handle this state of being, but a whole one might. Joel reached out toward himself.

What? STOP THAT! Joel retreated, and the visions flew into disarray again. Joel sending messages to Sausage along with their child. Joel repeatedly coming up with new ways to make the same joke at Jimmy's expense. Joel never knowing why he did it, just that he was supposed to.

Face it, Joel. You don't have any of this under control. But at least you'll have it stop controlling you, if you'd just work with me here.

A moment of quiet. If there was one thing Joel didn't like, it was someone else being better than him at his own game. Two mirror images slowly coming together.

Let's fix this error. It was both the king of Mezalea and the god of Stratos speaking.

…

………

Joel lifted his head up out of the water, gasping for air. He breathed heavily for a few seconds until he remembered that, as a statue and as an immortal god, he was never at any actual risk of drowning. He stood up, and looked down at himself.

He was dressed in a toga coloured a regal purple. His skin was made of perfect terracotta, and his fingernails were white as quartz. He had a well-trimmed beard and a normal, respectable height. Nice, he thought to himself as he stepped onto the street.

Hermes had wandered towards the fountain, and was now looking at Joel with big eyes. “Hey Hermes,” Joel said as he picked the boy up, “D'you like the new look?” Hermes gestured towards him, and then towards the fountain of Lore. “You want to play in the fountain? Maybe later. Daddy's got some stuff to do now.” He kissed Hermes' forehead, then gently put him down again. The boy nodded, then ran back towards his house, jumping over the gaps in the street without a second thought.

Gosh, he's adorable. And I couldn't even recognise him earlier, Joel thought. Maybe lore isn't all bad. But there was something more important than Lore to think about right now: getting back to Jimmy. He'd made a promise, after all. He spread his wings and began flying the familiar route towards Tumble Town.

While taking off, he noticed the outskirts of Critter City from the corner of his eye. It really is a shame me and Lizzie aren't married anymore though, he thought. But he wasn't too upset about it. After all, he could always just get up and-

Flying into the valley of Tumble Town, Joel saw Jimmy pacing back and forth near the unfinished track. Looked like he hadn't made much progress since Joel departed. As he descended, Jimmy heard him approaching and looked up- and his face dropped. It occurred to Joel that Jimmy would have no idea of what just happened.

Joel touched down next to Jimmy. “Hey, Jim,” he said, and smiled to him. “I'm back!”

“You're back. You- what did you do? Why are you wearing his clothing now?” Jimmy didn't sound at all happy to see him.

“Well, I talked to myself, then had a fight with myself, then nearly drowned in a one block deep fountain... but the point is, I solved the conflict. It's all good now.”

Jimmy wasn't satisfied with that explanation. “Oh, you solved the conflict did you? But what about me, then? Have you made friends just to team up against me? Are you-” Jimmy abruptly interrupted himself, and tilted his head while looking at Joel, squinting. “Did you get taller?”

“Yes, I did. I also got shorter. Look, Jimmy, I don't think you understand what's happened. This,” he gestured at his own body, “Is the new and improved Joel. Not the old Joel, not the new and kind of broken Joel, but both of them fused together to form one, somewhat functional person.”

Jimmy was still squinting. “So, you're both the Joels fused together then?”

“Yep. And I'm still the god of Stratos, but... I haven't broken that promise I made. I'd like to also still be your friend. So, I wanted to apologise for all the mocking I've been doing.” Joel held out his hand towards Jimmy. “Maybe we can start over clean.”

Jimmy still seemed skeptical. “And... you're not gonna call me a toy anymore?”

“Nope. I'll even take down the alien from the hill.” It was a good joke, but there comes a point where even a good joke gets stretched too thin. He'd have to come up with some new jokes, but that should probably wait a while.

“Well...” Jimmy cracked a smile, and took Joel's hand with his own. “Alright then. We'll give it a try.”

And as they shook hands, Joel's broken heart was finally starting to mend.

(ch 1 | ch 8)

[lunarsands]

ALSMP Fanfic: Wherever These Flowers May Grow Ch 4

Characters: goddess!PearlescentMoon, actual!angel!Sausage, starborne!Scott; reintroducing: floran!Scott and introducing: floran!Sausage, with special guest Empires SMP S2 Joel and a cameo by Origins SMP CaptainSparklez

Relationships: MythicalSausage/Scott Smajor

Tags: Canon Divergent, scosage, fluff

Warnings: Character Death (temporary as usual with this series), a tiny bit of angst

(Sequel to Echoing Through To You, When The Skies Cry, Until The Blood Moon Descends, and Then We’ll Rewrite the Stars)

(Also available on Ao3!)

Summary: Pearl sends Sausage and Scott on a mission to help out on another mortal world different from their old one. Scott finds himself returned to an old set of powers; Sausage gets new ones which, as it turns out, he has some trouble controlling. It’s not exactly a honeymoon trip, but they do meet a nice new godling while there.

[ Chapter One ] [ Chapter Two ] [ Chapter Three ]

[ A/N: Bonus artwork by Cynthrey linked at the end! ]

---

Chapter Four

Traveling east led them to finally seeing signs of civilization. They arrived at a strait where a stone bridge was in the process of being built. They approached cautiously, unsure how their appearances would be taken, but deciding they should see if the other land mass needed to be repaired as only their floran powers could allow.

The first person to notice them was a human stonemason, who greeted them with a wave and a delighted look. She called to her fellow builders, and out of the group of five another woman came over as the two florans reached the start of the bridge. She smiled warmly while the others hung back to watch. “Hello, spirits of the forests! We haven’t seen any of your kind for many years. It’s good to know you still exist. This is a fortuitous sign! It means we chose the right time to begin the return to our homeland!”

“Hello!” Sausage responded cheerfully. “We’ve been beautifying the place, so hopefully you like it when you get there!”

Scott smiled as well, although he was curious. “We saw some ruins, but it didn’t look like anyone had been around for, well, several decades at least.”

The woman nodded. “Yes. Centuries have gone by since our people fled terrible calamities that wracked the land. We are the descendants of two empires, whose people came together out of the ashes to build anew in a safer region. You may use our Greatbridge here to visit our haven, Gilded Ratio, if you like. We have a nice orchard that you might find rest in, and I’m sure the farmers will appreciate the blessing of your presence.”

“Thank you, I think we will.” Scott nodded to her in appreciation. She returned the gesture with a bow, then stepped aside and held out one arm to extend the offer of crossing the bridge.

The other builders similarly moved aside, an assortment of wonder and joy on their faces. Scott walked ahead, but glanced back, noticing Sausage was hesitating. The former seraph put a hand to the back of his head. “Uh, yeah, thanks! And, um, I apologize if there’s, like, just a little extra grass or moss or flowers that end up growing on here, eh-heheh! It looks great, by the way! Very solid build, those pylons should stand for many more centuries!”

Scott gave him a patient look and held out his hand. Sausage reached to clasp it, leaning over instead of taking a step onto the bridge. Scott tugged him forward. Sausage hopped awkwardly, then realized nothing was growing under him. “Oh. Oh! Right, direct contact with soil! Ah-haha, never mind! But maybe watch for plants starting to creep onto the end, there.” He pointed to the stone connecting to the land, but then nearly stumbled as Scott dragged him along. “Okay, okay! W-We’re going now! Have fun building!”

He moved up beside Scott and hissed quietly, “You don’t have to be pushy! You could have just reminded me I didn’t have to worry about it!”

“Sorry. I was getting a little nervous. They were kind of looking at us like we’re some kind of gods. I’m not used to so much attention. I mean, yeah, people can see starbornes at work, but as just another star. I don’t have to look them in the eye and go ‘hi, yes, I rearranged the sky, now bow down before me’!”

“That’s a good point. But, um, you might have to get used to it a little bit…” Sausage eyed a second construction crew that was working on a lookout tower at the other end, which appeared to be one of a set to either side. The people halted as the two florans walked by, another round of wonderous gazes coming their way.

“Hello,” Scott singsonged casually, waving, “Don’t mind us, just passing by to bestow some blessings, then we’ll be on our way.”

The two passed through a stone passageway that might have been one source of material for the bridge. On the other side was a new sight to astound them. Before them stood a city below a curved road, with farms cascading down hills and small homes clustered around larger, central buildings. The true focal point, however, was a giant statue of a woman holding a sword, one feathered wing extended to her right and a stylized circular wing on the left. Gleaming with golden accents, it resembled a shining sun, with rays at intervals to add to the effect.

Sausage gazed at the statue with enamored eyes and murmured, “Reminds me of Pearl… It doesn’t look like a temple from here, though…”

“Let’s get closer. We can always ask the locals. Maybe they’re into angel symbolism. Just the place for you.” Scott smiled teasingly. Sausage stuck his tongue out in response, then composed himself when two citizens came up to welcome them with the same excitement as the woman on the bridge.

It quickly became apparent she had sent word for them to find the florans through some type of long-distance signaling system. They were among the numerous agriculture experts in town. They offered to give the florans a tour. The first thing the pair asked when they reached street level was about the statue.

“That is Our Lady of Harvests, the Goddess Peril,” explained the taller of the citizens, “She watches over our city as well as the catacombs, where all of our people have been laid to rest since it was founded. They even say one of the great emperors of the past is entombed within, but the exact location of that crypt is hidden.”

“Peril,” Sausage mumbled, then repeated it with an accent as, “Perl.” He nudged Scott with his elbow. Scott merely smiled.

The other farmer piped up, “You’re probably not here for a history lesson, though. If you would be so kind, we do have one crop field that isn’t yielding. After that, you can visit the orchard.”

The crops in question were several hundred scraggly stalks of what was supposed to be corn. Scott walked along the first row getting a feel for the location’s energy while Sausage waited on the cobblestone path. After touching one stalk and turning it a healthier shade of green, Scott said, “After this harvest you should let this field lay fallow for a season, then rotate to a different crop. The soil tired out early.”

He then nodded to Sausage, who grinned and stepped between the second and third rows. He held his hands out to either side and took off running, fingers grazing sagging leaves. A wave of refreshed green took hold of the corn stalks shortly after he passed. When he reached the end, he turned and ran through the fourth and fifth rows.

Scott ambled down the first row, changing all of the stalks there, then went around the border of the field to mark where Sausage could stop. Several other people wandered over to see what was happening, including a few children. When he returned to the starting point, Scott smiled gently at them; the children had probably heard many fairy tales about the ‘spirits of the forest’ and might not have the same level of understanding as the adults of how the magic was working. He grew a handful of small sunflowers out of his palm, then passed them out to the children one by one. Faces lit up with wonder again. A few of the adults moved closer to see if he had any leftover to give to them.

“So, you were sent by Our Lady Peril,” someone said reverently. “Thank you for these gifts.”

“You’re… welcome,” Scott said with a measure of caution. With all the reminders of PearlescentMoon, he chose to go with sunflowers as an experiment. He had his answer. “Well, you enjoy. We have more to see before we continue our travels.”

He collected Sausage as he was on his way back from the final rows of corn. A bit winded but cheerful, the former seraph beamed at him. “That was fun, too! Is there anywhere else they need us to work on, or are we wandering around some more?”

“We’re going to see that orchard they were talking about, then figure out what we’ll do for the night.”

“I wouldn’t mind sleeping in a real bed again, come to think of it…”

“Shh,” Scott hushed him. He lowered his own voice. “They think we were sent by their god. Remember what our Pearl said. Let’s not mention anything that might reveal we’re something else.”

Sausage coughed. He loudly proclaimed, “A real bed of moss, you know! Not as much mossy moss around these parts like where we usually dwell!”

“Ah— Okay,” Scott murmured helplessly.

Attention kept being drawn their way as they walked. Both responded with polite greetings while making observations of their own. There were pens full of different animals, people transporting goods, and tradecraft shops of all kinds.

Sausage swiveled his head as he took it all in, commenting, “This city seems pretty nice. The red sheep are a little weird, but other than that, it’s a thriving society! Big contrast to the whole other continent I think we were on.”

“I’m starting to wonder if maybe we’ve traveled too far. If this does happen to be a completely different continent, and the worst problem they have is not rotating crops, we might have been meant to go west from the mountains instead.”

“There was the giant lily, though.”

“Hmm, true. West from there, then, or further south, or even back to the north. We could go back over the bridge…”

“We could also maybe ask Pearl for a sign. I mean, if this place isn’t a sign. That statue was really obvious.”

“Yeah, but why would we need to be here?”

“Inspire the people to make more flower gardens? I don’t know!”

Scott held out an arm to stop Sausage as a line of rather unusual trees came into view. They approached with curiosity again, both of them picking up on the modified energy of the trees. A worker carrying a basket of faintly glowing fruit in multiple colors waved at them. “Welcome to the Froglight Orchard!”

.

Despite numerous invitations to spend the night in available buildings, Scott and Sausage opted to climb one of the acacia trees near the city’s outskirts. They figured no one would want to wake up with the front door blocked by overenthusiastic grass and flowers.

They intended to set off at dawn, but a shepherd herding a flock of sheep out to the plains to feed was waiting for them. They figured he was only trying to be polite.

“Spirits of the forests, we thank you for your visit. If you need anything for your journeys, please ask. We will offer what we can.” He bowed.

“That won’t be necessary,” Scott said, a hand out to try to indicate he meant the bowing and the offer. “We have all we need right from the land.”

“Actually,” Sausage interjected, “Do you, by any chances, have any honey bottles to spare? And maybe a pack to carry them. Oh, and if you could also do us one favor and spread the word of the storm god, Joel, who I’m sure will help with any droughts if you say a sincere prayer to him. Rain goes along with healthy crops, after all!”

~*~

Scott raised an eyebrow as Sausage finished drinking his third honey bottle in an hour. They were half a day’s travel from Gilded Ratio, and Scott himself hadn’t been hungry, feeling plenty sustained by photosynthesis.

Sausage was apparently another story. He stowed the empty bottle in the satchel the shepherd had given them, then met Scott’s gaze. “What? I’m hungry! I think all this excess power leakage is draining me!” He then giggled, realizing his incidental pun.

“I hope that doesn’t mean we’re on a time limit,” Scott said thoughtfully. “You didn’t even do anything as strenuous as those redstone chasms.”

“It might maybe possibly be from trying extremely hard to not overwhelm that entire city with abundant crops.”

Scott sighed. “We are officially staying away from all villages and cities and whatever other settlements people might be in.”

“You know, if they’re settled, that means we don’t need to fix anything, anyway.”

“True. We’ll keep going this way for now and see what we find. We can always loop back around.”

.

For another few weeks the two florans traveled around, finding mostly areas where plant life was beginning to take hold with not so much in the way of calamitous destruction. They helped things along and grew extra flowers before moving on. They continued to be oblivious to the one god who was spying on them – and who was growing more resentful by the day; meanwhile, Joel occasionally zipped down to light-heartedly pester them. His mood had become very cheery, and one time he let slip that the mortals had finally taken notice of him. A small shrine had been created in a major city this side of the planet, and he was feeling more powerful for it.

Sausage made the suggestion that Joel should seek out a mortal and give them an inspirational vision of a temple he would like to see built. Joel said he would take it into consideration before he left them again.

Adelfa was waiting for him above, arms folded and a scowl firmly in place. “Proud of yourself, are you?”

“I don’t see why not,” Joel boasted. “The mortals are seeing the value of a separate weather god. Maybe you should try chilling out and stop snooping into what those two are doing. You have to admit, they have a certain artistry to the way they’re rebuilding things. Sausage is still kind of an overachiever but that’s not a bad—”

“You even bothered to learn their names?! Don’t go getting so attached!”

Joel sighed in exasperation. “I’m not getting attached, I’m making allies. Comrades. I have a common goal with them. I can do my job better if they make the land more accessible for rain, and make room for flooded rivers so the banks don’t get washed out all the time. Why isn’t this making you happy? Wasn’t the point to get all the land to flourish again where it was refusing to heal? You clearly couldn’t fix it by yourself.”

“We couldn’t fix it, Joel! We!”

“No, just you. That was never within my ability. I only control the skies, remember?”

Adelfa narrowed their eyes. “Then stop concerning yourself with a couple of land-bound fleas!”

“I just explained myself to you. How about you stop being jealous of them and go do your job? Create some new animals or something. Seriously. Get a hobby, Adelfa. This isn’t the least bit productive. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some mortals to inspire. When was the last time someone built you a temple, by the way? At this rate, those two will get a shrine before that ever happens again!” He cackled, then went on his way as usual.

Adelfa glared after him, then glanced down toward the ground. The two florans were also departing for the next location where they might outshine the irritated god.

~*~

Although they couldn’t be too sure of which continent they had ended up on after a bit of boat travel, Scott and Sausage eventually found a site with some more traces of corrupted soil. There were a few struggling stands of bamboo, and a jungle that looked like it had been ravaged at one point, with almost a dozen large tendrils of bright red corruption wrapped around the tree trunks. They weren’t sure what it meant, and Scott didn’t receive a vision right away this time, so they proceeded with a little caution.

Scott called upon a score of regular vines to wrap around one of the tendrils to begin pulling it off a tree while Sausage made an attempt to climb a different one, waiting to see if he could at least convert it to the blue-green alternative. He had to give up when he nearly slipped; he could swear the stuff had shifted under his foot. He picked his way back to the ground, then imitated Scott’s motions to have vines wrangle the tendril for him.

Once all of them had been pulled to the ground, Sausage tried again to convert them. Scott went to work on the bamboo in the meantime, bolstering the thin clusters and spreading more of it all around until it resembled more of a bamboo forest than just a jungle. He widened his radius, giving Sausage plenty of time – as well as checking for any hidden pockets of corrupted soil. However, the further out he went, the more certain he became that it was only that one spot.

Scott returned just as sunset approached, needing to weave between thicker stands of bamboo because, of course, those had been affected by Sausage, too. When he located his partner, he saw no hint of even the blue-green stuff. He tilted his head in curiosity. “What in the world did you do?”

Sausage sat on a raised tree root, looking pleased with himself. “It wasn’t really cooperating, so I made bamboo grow under the whole thing, and they stabbed up into it, breaking it apart, then I crushed all the bits with roots and vines, and then buried everything underground!” To illustrate, he waved a hand at the root he had been sitting on, sending it back into the soil, which quickly grew over with grass and left no trace. “I’m thinking if we camp out right here for the night, those bits will convert while we sleep!”

“That was a creative way to deal with it,” Scott admitted. “So, do we make a tent out of this insane amount of bamboo you’ve now sprouted, or grow even more until it encloses us?”

“I don’t know – do you think you’ll go sleepwalking again, since there is corruption here, too? There’s actually a little rock outcropping over this way, and that could be two walls we don’t have to worry about constructing. We could even sleep right out under the stars this time, without branches and stuff in the way.” With a smile, Sausage clasped Scott’s hand and guided the way through the bamboo to a little sandy area with a protruding rock face. More of the jungle continued around it, so there was still plenty of cover they could call upon.

“Sure,” Scott agreed. He got to work making moss pillows. “I mean, we’re still going to fall asleep before we see too many of them, but it’s a nice thought.”

It took a bit of doing to get bamboo to start poking through the hard soil despite the sand overtop of it, but Sausage managed to get a small wall up in time before they laid down side by side for the night. He gently took Scott’s hand, entwining his fingers as sleep descended on them. Scott smiled over at him in turn, preferring to gaze at his partner and the peaceful look that lingered on his face rather than concerning himself with the stars.

~*~

No visions or dreams came to him that night, and yet Scott was slow to wake at the break of dawn. What did rouse him was a sort of scrabbling sound, then Sausage’s voice with a note of panic in it. “Scott? Hey, um… something’s wrong. I still look like a floran but this isn’t responding to what I want it to do…”

Scott sat up. He immediately regretted the move as dizziness swept through his head. Sausage had a hand against the bamboo wall. “Hmm. Maybe our powers are starting to wear off, and it’s a sign we’re done and can go home? Kind of wish it happened before we went to sleep. My starborne powers aren’t strong enough during the day to launch out of the atmosphere. Guess that means we’ll wander around until nightfall again.”

“Pearl said she would come get us, right? But it would also be nice if she showed up soon. I could do without the headache…”

“You too, huh?” Scott gave up on standing and sat on his knees instead, one hand braced on the sand. He tried sending out a request through the ground toward the bamboo wall in hopes of lowering it, but he wasn’t able to even sense the stalks properly.

Sausage turned and took a lurching step toward him. “Um… S-Scott? Why do I suddenly feel… so...” He toppled forward, landing on his knees then dropping flat. He let out a whimper and worked to reach one arm toward Scott. His hand fell short, leaving him to gaze at the other floran helplessly.

Scott’s mind raced to make sense of what might be happening as his strength flagged, as well. Then it hit him. “The… The sunlight,” he said, trying to look upward. “Something is wrong with… the sun…” The main source of their power, and vitality too, it seemed. He realized that there was too much of a yellow cast to everything.

He decided not to waste any more time on explanations and instead reached to grasp Sausage’s hand as he, too, fell over. He tried to get a hold on the rest of his partner’s arm to pull both of them closer together if only to hug him and reassure him, but the remainder of his strength failed.

Sausage locked eyes with him and made one last attempt to speak. “I… I lo…” The last word died on his lips as his eyes closed.

“I – I know…” Scott managed to reply, keeping a tight grip on Sausage’s hand before he succumbed to the drain from the altered sunlight.

A golden glow flared into existence in the form of bands around the ring finger of each’s left hand, followed by gold tendrils curling out of the ground between them, winding around their wrists and briefly connecting before disappearing into a spray of glittering motes. Beneath their bodies a layer of grass began to sprout where the sand had previously prevented anything from growing before.

High above, the strange yellow tint also faded out. Adelfa withdrew their splayed hands to their sides and grinned with satisfaction. They then sighed in annoyance when they heard a crackle of thunder.

“Adelfa!!” Joel yelled, fast approaching on a dark storm cloud, “Did you think I wouldn’t notice that?! What have you done?!”

“You’re a little late to be worrying about it now. You’ll have to learn to be faster if you want to prevent other gods from undermining your domain.”

“Or you could stop being insufferable.” Joel scanned the surface below, trying to figure out what the vitriolic nature god had been up to. Then he spotted the two florans where they seemed to have suspiciously been cornered between a rock and a bamboo barrier. “What the heck? They never sleep during the day…”

A smirk crawled onto Adelfa’s face. They waited for him to put the pieces together.

Joel then realized there was no wild plant growth going on around Sausage. “Wait… You did something to them, didn’t you?” He turned an accusatory glare on the other god.

“Well, the job they were supposed to do is pretty much done. I have no more use for them. So, there was only the matter of them to clean up.”

“Y-You didn’t have to murder them!”

“Murder is such a strong word, godling. Why don’t you get back to your storms again and mind your own business? Plants and plant-like creatures aren’t of your concern anymore, remember?”

“But this was wrong! They were helping, and they were harmless!”

“They were about to start getting in my way. Mortals are just toys, Joel. You’ll figure that out eventually.” Adelfa snapped their fingers and disappeared.

Joel stood agape, then angled his cloud to rush downward. He placed it directly over the florans then jumped to the ground beside them. He flicked his fingers at the cloud, producing a light, misty rain. “Hey— Hey, fellas? How does a nice refreshing rainfall sound? A little something to perk up the old, under-watered flowers, yeah?”

He could already see it was pointless from the way the flowers in their hair had begun to wilt. He stopped the rain and sat down with his back against the rock wall, wondering if there was anything he could have done, if he had been faster. He wasn’t sure what Adelfa had done to the sunlight, only that the change in the atmospheric filter had prickled at his senses. He should have summoned clouds to the spot without trying to reach it first. He was able to do that – surely it wasn’t necessary for him to be in a specific location to make the weather behave in a specific way…

He continued to sit and watch over the two until the largest blossoms in their hair faded; the beautiful silvery-white one in Sausage’s, the mystical dark blue one speckled with gold in Scott’s. Joel sighed and moved to get up. He couldn’t just leave them here like this. Perhaps he could bring them to the city that had the shrine to him, and the people there would allow the florans to be laid to rest in their monument to the dead…

He stopped when he felt a pulse of energy pass through the ground into his hand – or was it out of his hand? Either way, he dropped back into a seated position as dozens of the white and blue flowers sprang up around the two florans’ bodies.

Then the bamboo wall collapsed and a figure even taller than Joel stepped into view, her hands suffused with a golden light as she reached toward the pair. He didn’t recognize her at first, but realized there was a resemblance to the farming goddess who he had briefly met when Adelfa none-too-politely introduced the rest of the pantheon to him. “Peril? Is that you? What are you going to do with them?”

She didn’t answer. She picked up the florans, cradling one in each arm, then turned. Joel hopped up to try to follow, hoping to find out something, but then he saw the glimmering Aether portal around the corner. He came to a halt, knowing for certain it was not his place to follow her through.

It remained open for a few minutes. He could see through to the other side, where the goddess stood in a large wooden gazebo. She had worry on her face as she gazed downward. He saw a shimmer pass over the bodies of the two florans, then he saw Sausage grow wings that draped over the mystery goddess’ arm as she continued to hold the two, his clothes turning into pristine white robes and bits of gold-trimmed armor. Next, he saw Scott turn into a glowing purple figure before dimming to a normal humanoid appearance with the same clothes but with star motifs instead of foliage and in hues of blue, black, and violet, a trail of bright motes encircling his head instead of flowers. The goddess placed them on their feet, then she shrank down closer to their heights and threw her arms around both of them in a hug.

The portal closed with the sound of breaking glowstone. Joel stood frozen for a moment, then turned to regard the patch of unique flowers. He then looked at the rock wall with its protruding features and gave some thought to creating something with his own hands.

This wouldn’t require the skills of an architect, but maybe someone with an eye and appreciation for artistry.

~*~

Pearl stepped back after releasing Sausage and Scott, relief beaming from her face. “Boys, I am so sorry. That was not how that job was supposed to end. I was having all sorts of problems getting the local pantheon to cooperate. They’ve got some serious infighting going on over there. Personally, I don’t think it’s going to end well for them later.”

Sausage was happily patting at the feathers of his lower wings, having pulled one around beside his hip. “Don’t apologize, Pearl! We’re used to dying within arm’s length of each other, it’s like a weird pastime or something. But maybe let’s not do it again anytime soon.”

“I’d like to retire from it altogether,” Scott put in. He similarly checked himself over, smiling fondly at the twinkling of his own skin. He sighed with relief. “Back to normal, thank goodness.” He then turned and hugged Sausage tightly.

The seraph patted his back and returned the hug, then moved away to get enough space to stretch out his wings, luxuriating in the feeling before folding them all in. “At least that one was more like fainting instead of being stabbed, or shot by an arrow…” He ticked off the list on his fingers one by one and continued, “…Or an explosion, or—”

“Yes, thanks,” Scott interrupted, “I don’t want to relive those, either.”

Pearl lightly ruffled Sausage’s hair. “It’s good you can keep your sense of humor, my dear angel. I’ll let you get back to building now. You deserve to do some casual work for a bit. I’ll try not to send you on any other big missions for a while, either.” She then turned to Scott with an apologetic look. “As for you, on the other hand…”

She gestured to the opening of the gazebo opposite her wicker throne, where a crimson-hued starborne with black hair and red-rimmed sunglasses stood awkwardly staring in at them. “Sorry to intrude,” he said. “It’s nice to meet you, at last.” He cleared his throat and strode across the floor to grasp Scott’s hand with a sincere grip. “Scott, was it? I’m Prince Sparklez. I confess, I need a little help straightening up a few issues – well, a few dozen, maybe? To be honest, all the things they tell you at the academy and my royal training didn’t really prepare me for being out in the field with no mentor. It was harder than it looked!”

Scott offered a patient smile and patted the other starborne’s shoulder. “I was kind of thrown into the job, too. I’ll help you fix whatever you need help with, Your Highness.”

“Oh, um, please just call me Sparklez. I’m a regular old starborne like everyone else! Well, not everyone here, obviously, since we’re in the presence of gods and angels, and. Well. Nothing particularly special about me, no sir-ree…”

“Okay. If you say so.” Scott then turned back to Sausage and hugged him again. “I’ll see you at home later. I’ll try to get back before sunrise here, and we can finally gaze at the stars together. Love you!” He gave a little wave then started out of the gazebo while Sparklez jogged ahead, although the violet starborne glanced over his shoulder once with a tender smile.

“I know!” Sausage called after him in return. He watched the two starbornes launch upward in twin streams of red and purple, his expression soft. Then he cast a thoughtful look at the reflecting pool. “Pearl, is there any way to check in on that other world? I kind of want to let Joel know we’re okay. He might wonder where we’ve gone off to.”

“Joel...?” she asked curiously, yet with a weird undertone that Sausage didn’t pick up on.

“The storm god. Oh, you might not have had to deal with him like the rest of the pantheon. He was pretty new to whole godly responsibilities thing. He seemed nice! He helped us out a few times. I think he liked seeing our progress.”

Pearl clasped her chin with one hand, considering the matter. Then she smiled. “Actually, no, we can’t – I tried to keep track of you, but the pool wouldn’t always attune for some reason. But I have the feeling he knows you’re all right now.”

~*~

Joel stood silently with a candle in one hand, looking over his work for the final time. With hammer, chisel, and some precise erosion techniques, the rock face had been turned into a relief-style statue of two figures facing each other, foreheads leaning together and perhaps implying they were planning to kiss. The one on the right had a hand up as if cradling the side of their partner’s neck, while the one on the left had their hand against the small of the other’s back in an embrace.

The tails of the righthand figure’s overcoat appeared to be swirling in the wind, encompassing the upper legs of both. They appeared to be standing on two different tree roots. In their hair were the same angelflowers and starflowers that stood in the nearby patch which Joel had surrounded with a low border of tumbled river rocks. He had set up a small shrine space in front, and that was where he now set the candle. He lit it with a spark from his finger.

He emitted a gusty sigh, causing the flowers to sway and the candle flame to dip for a second. “Well, wherever you are now, I hope you like this. I think I did all right. I’ll drop some hints and maybe other people will come visit, too. You did a nice job around this spot, so I think someone will find it to be a peaceful sanctuary someday.”

~*~

They say that if you find the flowers seen nowhere else in the world that grow near a memorial to two lovers, you should pick one of each and exchange them with someone you care for, as a sign of your own eternal dedication to your heart’s love.

 ~End~

[Bonus Artwork by @cynthrey!]

[bugganox]

I wonder how they're doing in SMP heaven

[hiding-under-the-willow]

Even more of these bc I think they're funny. This time featuring some non-hermits :]

[kyuyua]

What an era ⚡️

For Seven Holy Nights of Jeremy (Joel Week) Day 1: Throwback

[idlemidas]

It’s thinking of sherif Jimmy hours

The desert I’m stuck in is Tumble Town :(

[doodle-list]

Princess party turned murder mystery hell yeah lets go

[cattimeswithjellie]

Is anybody else a little bit concerned that BigB invoked the name of the Watchers in Limited Life and has been getting weirder and more isolated ever since? Like, to the point that this season he instantly picked out the creepiest spot on the server and built an enormous face there to stare out at the rest of the players?

Between this, Scar's attempt to relive Third Life with his blonde partner on a mountain, their green plant monopoly and the cliff he falls off of while singing, and most of the Divorce Quartet back together and relitigating Double Life, this really could be the season where ends come back to the beginning.

[lolli-popples]

I've seen people say stuff like, "Hermitcraft fans new to Joel are all talking about how deranged he is, which is because funny he's been less deranged than usual."

And I didn't fully feel that, except in one instance.

Which is that there's been a lot of buzz around the fact that Joel intentionally does ship-bait for Boat Boys. Like REALLY obviously. For the bit, ya know?

But I can say, without a doubt, that when it comes to Joel shipping himself with people, this instance is INCREDIBLY tame.

[i-am-creacheur]

"What are you thinking about?"

I could go on for HOURS believe me

[foxxology]

My piece for the @empires-rainbow-zine! I'm still super proud of the water in this one :D

[arthropod-concoctions]

part 8

It was remarkably easy to find the kingdom in the sky once he started flying. Joel almost felt as if he was drawn to it. And when he touched down on the floating tiles of the city, giant stately quartz buildings all around, he had to admit it was a beautiful city. The impostor Joel was also a good builder, it seemed.

This was also the moment Joel remembered that he could never actually see the other Joel, so finding and confronting him might prove difficult.

But he wasn't about to let that stop him. He might still learn something just wandering around the empire. So he walked on, hopping from floating tile to floating tile, passing many buildings, as well as plants floating in the sky, and other things. He noticed a child-sized armor stand set up in front of a purple-roofed house, wearing a similarly coloured shirt. It was a strange sight, for obvious reasons, and something about the scene that Joel couldn't quite place. What's the point of making child-sized armor stands in the first place?

Eventually Joel came up onto a platform with a fountain in it's center, clear water flowing freely from the top. There was something important about this fountain, he could tell. He walked up to it, then looked down into the surface of the water. He could see his own reflection crystal clear, despite the rippling of the water.

He also saw a second reflection, next to his own.

The other Joel had the exact same face as him, yet looked very different. His skin was different, flesh instead of clay. He had a solid beard, and, if the fountain's perspective wasn't tricking him, seemed to tower over Joel. He would've looked quite handsome if it wasn't for the ridiculous toga he was wearing.

The reflection's lips moved, and Joel heard its voice- his own voice- inside his head. “What are you doing here?” it asked.

“Finding out what the deal is, here. Why you're pretending to be me.” Joel replied, although he was less convinced now that the figure in the reflection was unrelated to him.

“Me, pretending? I'm not pretending. I'm the real deal.” The reflection flicked his head, waving a lock of hair out of his face. “The tall, handsome, amazing god of Lore. You're jealous, aren't you?”

“Absolutely not.” Was being tall all he cared about? “Jimmy hates you, you know that?”

“Mhm. And I hate him too.”

Joel didn't believe that for a second. “No you don't. He's your best friend.”

“Nope. I hate him. It's lore.” He didn't sound like he believed it; more like it was a rehearsed line.

“It's lore? What kind of an excuse is that?” Joel was getting very annoyed with this guy already. Was he this insufferable to talk to as well? “Lore is a made up thing. That's nonsense!”

The reflection exclaimed in anger. “Oh, you clearly have no idea what you're talking about,” the reflection responded. “Here, I can show you what Lore is. Take my hand.”

Then the reflection leaned down and reached its hand down, which is to say up, towards the surface of the fountain's water. Joel almost took it, but hesitated just before his own hand reached the water. What am I doing? This guy's clearly insane. Now that his head was closer to the water, Joel could see something crazed in the reflection's eyes. Not to mention, he'd made a promise to Jimmy, and this seemed a lot like compromising with the impostor. So his hand stayed hovering above the water.

“Surely if you're the 'god' of 'lore', you can just... change the lore, to not hate Jimmy anymore.” Joel shrugged. “Not much of a god otherwise, are you?”

The expression on the reflection's face turned sour, but his hand stayed reached out. “You don't understand. It doesn't work like that.”

“Well then explain how it does work!” Joel shouted, slamming his hand onto the side of the fountain. In doing so, his fingertips skimmed the surface of the water.

The reflection's eyes followed Joel's hand, and then a large hand emerged out of the water and grabbed Joel's wrist. “OI!” he shouted, “Let go of me!” He tried to pry his hand loose, but to no avail; the giant hand was stronger than his.

“You can't just 'explain' Lore, little man.” The escaping reflection said, a crazed grin contorting his face. “Let. Me. Show. You.”

And then Joel was pulled into the water.

(ch 1 | ch 7 | ch 9)