#emphasis on CREATIVE

[includedisco]

Importance of writing the self-indulgent story that you do want to write in exactly the way you want to write it

You won't find anything weird about being your own story's biggest fan. You wrote it in a way that's exactly what you envision the characters being. So you'll click on that thing without reservation or shame, enjoy the hell out of it and pat yourself on the back each time.

Your own story will be your absolute favorite in the world because it'll be perfect for YOU.

Why wait impatiently and frustratedly for a different author to write your fantasy for you? And no DON'T you dare say it's because that other writer is better than you.

No writer is perfect. We can all learn, improve and get better. If you have an idea in your mind, go learn how to bring it to life. Ask other authors, read other books/fanfics, watch videos on writing tips etc.

But stay away from AI. That shit is unforgivable.

Loving one's own work as a writer is tough but once you do get there, I believe that's the true meaning of self love for a writer.

[marigoldbaker]

to be clear: the feeling is more outrage than fear. I am APPALLED. if “you’re so beautiful” is EVER a thing you say to me before we have known each other for idk MAYBE two years PROBABLY more like five MOST LIKELY. Never say that to me. anyway point is this man thinking he had half a chance concerns me. it’s 9pm. it’s dark. this is not an inventive pickup line. Get it the fuck together

What about me walking home at 9:30pm with my music in makes a man think NOW is the optimal time for him to shoot his shot ????? my utter appalled bemusement and horror at this social blunder on his behalf did not get him to get the hint so it went sort of like this

him: you’re so beautiful!

me: what.

him: you’re so beautiful!

me: thank you so much for the positive community feedback?????

him: are you seeing anyone?

me: i am semi-permanently off the market as i process my own emotional issues.

him: would you want to go on a date with me?

me: i have enough problems with the social concept of friends, thank you?

him: well, would you like to be friends?

me: i would like

me: to walk home

him: okay

me: (exits; appalled)

[speakofshinee]

TAEMIN - 'Eternal' Track List ♥︎

[deiaiko]

#27.3 Forming a team

Grace was glad that everything so far had gone as planned. The administrator had changed the winning condition of this second test.

Agni had run him through different scenarios in case this time didn't go as it had before, and it seemed like half of them were not needed anymore.

However, it was not over yet. He needed to get past this next negotiation first, then see where it would lead him.

Though he should've held back even more on the floral piercing butterfly technique earlier. Not that he remembered how high his score was before, but one million seven hundred thousand had stuck up like a sore thumb over everyone's average point. He could only hope that this wouldn't stir up unnecessary trouble in the future.

"Then, Mr. Grace. Choose seven regulars." Love sounded uninterested, like most administrators did when dealing with regulars on the test. But Grace knew better.

Love was hiding his resentment. Not perfect, but it was good enough to be unnoticeable by everyone else. Grace still remembered the reason why he hated FUG, although only after Agni presented him with some available info regarding Love's past to refresh his memory.

The floral butterfly technique, which was known to be used by FUG's slayers, was what would make Grace's identity known once he performed it. Now he knew that it was why Love was willing to change the test.

Looking around, Grace had carefully weighed his options beforehand. He knew he could take the easy way by simply picking his former Sweet and Sour team members. However, he had been observing them the whole time, and he figured that if he were to do that, they wouldn't be the team that he wished them to be.

He noticed how Prince was uncomfortably touchy and bossy toward Ehwa, and even looked down on Horyang. A complete opposite of what he remembered them to be. How Miseng and Goseng still hold grudges against Akraptor, which was actually reasonable up to this point. That would be a problem if he were to choose them now.

Grace had also totally forgotten about Nia's relationship to Wangnan. He didn't even know what exactly had happened to him before. He only remembered that Nia didn't make it through the test, and something about Wangnan being angry at Lurker…had been about Nia, right? He should probably look into it later.

"Mr. Grace?" Mr. Love's voice dragged him back to the present.

Ah, right. He was asked to pick. But before he could even say a word, a familiar voice shouted from the audience.

"Number ten twenty-three! Regular Wangnan Ja! Let me introduce myself to you!" 

Grace wore the mask solely just to hide his wide grin. That's right, this was how it had gone before.

Wangnan inhaled and let out a louder voice that echoed in the room. "Number ten twenty-three! Regular Wangnan Ja! I've got more than just power! The era of the ten great families will end with me!!" He declared with fists raised high.

How bold, for someone that was ranked fifteen out of twenty-seven. In front of Ehwa too, who was from the Yeon family. But that was his charm, wasn't it?

"You won't regret it! I'm Wangnan! I can dance! I can sing! I'm the real entertainer of this era!"

The dance and singing that he briefly displayed were awful, but Grace could agree that he was quite entertaining.

"The more you get to know me, the cuter you'll find me!" Wangnan beamed. "My name is…as I said…Waaangnan!"

Grace bit his lip, fighting to keep his laughter contained when Wangnan posed right in front of him. He needed to let this play out first.

Wangnan suddenly bowed down on his knees, "Please choose me! I'll do anything for you if you choose me!" Wangnan begged. "I'll bark if you want! And I'll lick your shoe! Please, choose me!"

Grace frowned. He did not remember this. Or, at least, he didn't remember if Wangnan had ever told him why he was so desperate to pass this test. Desperate enough to be willing to put his head so low.

Prince was the only one in the room that sneered. It seemed like everyone else had a taste of helplessness at some point in their life.

It was sad, when he thought about it that way.

Akraptor walked up to the stage and kneeled beside Wangnan. "Please choose me." He looked up to Grace with teary eyes and wiped it with his palm. "My daughter…is waiting for me. She must've grown a lot. I want to see how much she has grown."

"He's lying! Don't trust him, Grace! That's so unrealistic." Wangnan was already up on his feet and accusing Akraptor. "He's absolutely lying to you! First of all, can you believe there's a girl out there that looks like him?!" 

Grace let his eyes droop, as a memory of a silver haired girl resurfaced in his mind. It was only a brief moment, so he wasn't quite sure if she was related to Akraptor at all, but she did resemble him in some ways that Grace couldn't help but remember.

"Why… Why do you say I'm lying?!"

"Look at yourself in the mirror!"

Horyang came up to the stage and kneeled down, surprising the other two. "Choose me. I've got to find someone."

Cassano Beniamino, Grace filled in the unspoken name. The guy that took Horyang's devil and joined side with Rachel. Akraptor and Prince were killed in their attempt to get the stolen devil back so they could wake Horyang up. He definitely did not want that to happen this time around.

Miseng suddenly ran up to the stage and tackled Grace while crying. "Waaaah! Please take me with you! I miss my mom and dad!"

"That's not fair! Don't cry!" Wangnan scolded Miseng. "Get off my master!"

Grace didn't have the heart to pry her off from his waist, so he just started patting lightly on her backpack, to not let his hand just hang awkwardly on his sides.

"Stop it. You all." Ehwa joined them, walking up to him with the confidence of someone from the great family. "Mr. Grace, I suggest you take me as your teammate."

"What?!" Wangnan yelled.

"Everybody has their own sad stories, but I think we should choose based on strengths."

"Why are you acting as if you're already his teammate?!"

"Isn't it obvious? I'm from the Yeon family, and I'm a fisherman. Who else is he going to choose?"

"Don't overestimate yourself! You kill your own teammates!"

"Wh-what?!"

"Hmph, you don't remember me? I failed the last test because of you!" Wangnan said it in a way that made him feel like he was bragging.

"Ugh– are you…"

"Oh, you burned so many people so you wouldn't remember me." Wangnan smirked and turned back to him, "Lord Grace! You shouldn't choose her! She barbecues everyone, even her own teammates!"

"Wait! That's–"

"So! Other than killing your teammates, what's your power?! Tell me!"

"Argh."

"Hahaha, you've got no words to say."

"You…"

"Now please leave before you kill the rest of us!"

Oh, Grace remembered where this was going. So before Ehwa could say anything else, Grace slid his mask down and declared with the most serious face he could muster at that time.

"Quiet. That's enough." Grace tried to put on his most disinterested gaze to each one of them that was at the stage.

He was met with silence. Good.

"Let me make this clear." Grace manipulated the shinsu in the room to be slightly heavier, just enough to make him more intimidating. "I'm Geu Biol Grace. A FUG slayer candidate. I live to kill Jahad and bring changes to this tower."

Grace could feel Love's eyes bore into him. It unconsciously made his muscles tense, ready to block any attack.

Not letting his guard down, Grace turned his gaze on the audience, especially aimed at Wangnan and Ehwa. "If you're not ready for the consequences of being in my team, then I suggest you go home while you have the chance."

"I-I'm ready." Wangnan gave an immediate answer, though Grace could see cold sweat forming on his forehead.

Everyone else had given some thought to his statement, especially Ehwa who looked very troubled. But he wasn't that patient to wait for everyone to give their answers. It didn't matter anyway, because…

"If you still choose to stay here for a chance to team up with me, then you need to prove that you can work as a team.

But seeing how poorly you're getting along with each other, I could easily foresee that you'll only hold me back."

No one on the stage could deny it.

"In that case…" Grace pretended to think. "Let me just take the next test by myself, administrator."

Silence. He could see the shock painted on everyone's faces.

"Rules are rules, Mr. Grace." Love said sternly. "The next exam is for teams only. You must choose seven others."

"Then how about we play a game? Something for us to settle whether I can take the next test by myself or with a team. And for them to form a team that will take the next test with me if I lose."

Love mulled on it for a bit. "That doesn't sound too bad… I will accept your challenge."

Grace gave him a slight bow. "Thank you for your consideration."

Love looked surprised at that, but he moved on just as quickly. "As the administrator, I will be the one to pick what kind of games we'll be playing."

"Understandable." Grace patted himself on the back for getting through this negotiation.

"Alright. Then, take a break while I prepare for the game." Love gestured with his hand and a gate to the right of the room opened. "Anyone who wishes to participate in the game, go to the dorms through that gate." 

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[risquemargay]

raaah i hate reading what seems to be a really interesting researchh study in a different country and it ends up just being: here's what they do and why what we do in the u.s. is always good and their way is bad like. i think there can be more than one way to do things and that's okay

[boneheadboner]

SEND HELP

I want to compose songe for hypnodaddy but dear fuckign god, i've gotta figure out the melody and lyric placements and shit. brain is going BRRRRRRRRRRRR and now I must WRITE! THEM! DOWN! The LYRICS! The melody can come later but the LYRICS GFHSDJKHFDKJSHFDKIS I just DEFINITELY need to figure those out, as I've always perceived Baggs as a person who could and WOULD use his wit and charisma to sway people first. After all, though his appearance might give them a slight warning, his words so easily and effortlessly project that he's a man of high intellect and understanding. That he's a curious monster, eager to listen and to learn. To get people to open up, excited to find someone who wants to hear what they have to say. "Everyone wants to talk about something. They merely are nervous that no one wants to hear it~... By showing that I am willing to listen, they open up. They open up their heart, and the things they feel so passionately about. They open their mind, eager to release the thoughts bubbling within. And an open mind, is a receptive mind... And a receptive mind is less wary of inviting thoughts. A receptive mind is comforted by the light airy magic, that flows from my eye. And less prone to resist, to listen, and to obey. ..... so sue me, I'm a bit lazy in my own right. "

[akechis-special-case]

I Want To Commit, But...

Finally, after a good while I managed to finish this fic. I honestly wnated to finish this before announcing anything, let alone make anything official. Yeah, you can see it as me fully wanting to commit and wanting to make this official with Goro. I'm honestly not really a fan of getting married. It takes an extra someone to make me want to marry them. The only one who managed that was Henry (FE) and perhaps Takumi (FE) and now Goro is high up there too. It's been like that for a while yet I didn't want to say anything until now, not without the fic at least. I don't know how to approach it just yet. I want to plan something to make it extra special but I set out to have a year to plan this (or a bit less, given it's already July). I will figure it out. I know that I didn't have to and could have just said it but I wanted to. It would feel less special to me personally otherwise. That's all. Below you can find the fic. It's very long this time so I understand if you might decide to skip this one. I also wanted to do something art related but I didn't know what. I should probably do the future desgins first before anything else (might use them more tbh but we'll see). Anyways, that's all! The fic is below the cut! And thank you for reading!

Dividers used by @/toastray

AO3 Link

Characters (main): Goro Akechi, Anja / Luka 'Lukanja' Wolff (OC / Sona)

Characters (other): Akiren / Joker (P5 Protag), Eli Sato (Sona by @/selfship-lair)

Pairing: Lukanjakechi / 🥞📚

Summary: 5 years forward, into the future. Akechi has been stuck as a proper detective under Officer Sato’s supervision. Said officer had also gotten married not too long ago. Lukanja started doing freelancing work from home while trying to find a stable profession after having committed to their studies. Both live by themselves together for at least a year, two partners sharing an apartment. And yet, it seems that there is one more thing to discuss. Yet Akechi catches himself always avoiding said topic, even though he wants to take the next step as well. There's just some inner turmoil whenever he thinks about it.

Words: 10,312

It has been a good while… Time passes and people grow. What at first seemed unreal and hard to get used to is now the most normal thing, part of everyday life. What seemed surreal for Goro was now a mundane life. One with restrictions but nonetheless, he was allowed to lead this life. 

Things have changed since then. Not just on the outside though those were the most visible. The decision to actually grow his hair out a bit so he could tie it into some type of more visible ponytail.

“Hey, this style suits you. Thought of changing it?”

“Style? What are you implying?”

“Oh c’mon, you know what I mean. That short ponytail of yours!”

“This thing?”

“Yeah! Looks pretty good honestly! Ever thought about making this your actual hairstyle?”

He still remembered that conversation and maybe this was where he had gotten that idea from. They didn't shy away from letting their opinion known after all. And looking back on this… It was actually somewhat flattering, even if it had annoyed him at the time. 

‘ Why not give it a shot? ’ He had thought to himself and now it's just how he walks around. And he didn't hate it. In fact it was a little refreshing, as if he needed that change of pace. Well, maybe he did. But could you call it a change if it was routine by now? He has had that look for a year or two by now if not longer. He lost count. But it's not as if this matters any longer. It is what it is now, a sense of normalcy. What he craved had finally been realized. It was still a little odd but he can't complain. Not like he had the right doing so to begin with.

And he wasn't alone either. In fact he was providing for two… No, three. They always insisted that the cat, Ole, was a full fledged member of the household. They weren't wrong and he wouldn't argue against that either. Though it was surprising that he had decided to move in with the two and not stay with their mother.

In any case, it was the duo of Ole and Lukanja watching over the apartment, a three bedroom one. Though honestly, one bedroom was used as some type of office while the other stored an assortment of collectibles, mainly Lukanja's plushies but Goro stored some things of his own here and there. They both slept together in the same room after all, feeling comfortable enough with each other to do so. It was small but surprisingly cozy.

It didn't mean that Lukanja themself was just lazing around all day. They were either managing their share of the household or working on their own stuff, freelancing at this point in time. Though they would show up at the office from time to time as well to bring Goro things he forgot at home. One of the higher ranked officers would usually let them step inside, just like that.

Their lives didn't get much more exciting though… Honestly, it wasn't a bad thing at all. It was a really good thing actually. Just living normally… More than he deserved but he wasn't complaining. Despite being on life long supervision it was actually not that bad.

Today was such a day, a mundane endeavor. Work kept Goro up as always, proper detective work. It was exhausting yet it was always worth coming back to both Lukanja and Ole. Even if the latter would only glare at him on the couch. The cat was always curled up like a ball and sleeping away. He probably needs more rest as he was becoming older, a fate not even the currently young man couldn't avoid.

A contrast to his partner’s greeting. They were always jumping up, running to the entrance and hugging him while loudly saying: "Welcome home!” It has been years and they still didn't grow tired of this greeting. And even when expecting it his heart would always flutter. The first few times it had confused him, irritated him slightly. But he came to terms with it slowly, allowing himself to embrace it bit by bit, as overwhelming as it was sometimes. Just coming home to someone who was looking forward to your return. And that should be it. But today it was… A little different.

“Say Goro… Did you hear?” They began after having let go as he was hanging up the coat. Though he nearly froze up at their next words. “Maki actually managed to find someone to settle down with!”

Maki, someone Lukanja had not been on good terms with. Though ever since her heart had been changed years back the two had gotten closer and now had stayed in touch. Though that was not why he had gotten so tense. It was a certain phrase… Settle down. They didn't say it, not directly at least. And they didn't have to. The implications alone made shivers go down his spine.

“Oh, really? That's good for her.” He mustered up to say, even if it was by sheer force.

“Right? And the two had only known each other for a bit over a year”

What’s that supposed to mean? “Some people manage to work it out fast.”

“Well, it makes them happy~”

Goro turned around after having taken a short breath. This topic again… Lukanja always brought up people they knew and talked about them ‘having tied the knot’ recently, something what was unlike them. He didn't know how to approach that and it always made him freeze up. But he couldn't let them know, not telling them. So he pushed his lips into a light smile. He needed to talk about something else, anything really. “Oh, you talked about a project you were working on yesterday, weren't you?”

The moment he brought that up he saw their smile falter for a moment, stare at him wide eyed. Though it was only for a second. Because despite this moment of surprise they smiled once more right after. Yet even he could tell that there was something there… Something which had shocked them, some type of disappointment even. And yet they probably swallowed it down, they always did. Unless he was thinking too deeply into this situation. “Ah right! I made lots of progress!”

“You're about to talk my ear off again then, aren't you?”

“Hehe, you know it. But first you need to tell me about your day!”

He shrugged. “Fair enough.” Anything over talking about that topic honestly… Mainly because Goro doesn't really know how.

When one case file closed the other opened. It was a never ending cycle of cases plopping up from anywhere possible. The work as a detective was tedious and neverending. But it was what Goro had to do and had done for several years now. And each time it required his full focus. 

Honestly when younger he saw it more like a pain. Then again, some cases were part of a scheme, a bluff. Staged as he investigated each and every single one of them. This meant that he actually needed to know how the ropes of an investigation worked. He didn’t just do a wishy washy job. No, he had experience in some way, even if it was for just bluffing the masses and impressing them. ‘Wow! This young man can solve even big cases!’ – It was that simple. And honestly, the mere masses were very easy to impress. He had earned the trust quickly and rose in the ranks, even if parts of that were thanks to his connections.

Nowadays however he has been stuck in earnest work. Oh, how comedic. Even he himself could laugh out loud about that in some way. But he wasn’t left with a choice. A certain officer had put him into this position deliberately, just to keep an eye on him. Disguised as ‘using the abilities of a young individual’, oh what a load of crap that was. And yet Goro had accepted it begrudgingly… At least at the time. He couldn’t ask for more, he shouldn’t. He was better off than most in his position, deserved or not. Even if it was to have him under surveillance at all times. And he didn’t resist anyways. There was no reason for doing that and never will be.

Of course these were thoughts of back in the day. But what were his thoughts now? Well… He wasn’t exactly in a position to complain. He was just doing what he was told to do. It wasn’t that bad in fact, a bit of… Fun dare he say? Doing such work out of the public eye and instead doing them away from others keeping up with his ‘latest case’. The media didn’t bother him anymore about it, he could just live on. And more things turned out to be more fun when not being constantly pressured. And detective work was one of those things.

And yet, it was truly nothing more than a job. Goro was mostly stuck at his desk and if not that at a crime scene or an interrogation. It was either gathering intel and proof or putting it all together for a clear image. Though there were days where he would take it too far, either because he was too invested in this case or… There was another reason, one he would rather not admit. Yet his co–workers would always remind him of such stuff.

“Hey, Akechi! It’s already dark out!” One of his co–workers would yell across the room. The young man would slowly move his head up, finally realizing just how many papers he had been sorting and going through. Not to mention the notes he was taking, all to produce results. Yet when looking at the sloppy handwriting, even he knew that he was a little out of it. But no, even with that he had to push through to produce results. That would never change. He refused to just leave it at that. So the interruption was far from welcomed. 

He groaned as a result, having been woken up from his trance. His entire flow, ruined. Yet he needed a deep breath, no lashing out. Just because he was no longer a public figure didn’t mean that he could just suddenly act like an entitled prick. He still had to keep up appearances. So he would turn to that co–worker with one of his practiced smiles from back then. A polite one but nothing more. “Oh, is it? I haven’t noticed.” His gaze then went to the clock on the wall, noticing the time. Already way past 8 pm? Just how long did he sit there?

“Yeah man, you’ve been sitting here all day.” The guy confirmed as he seemed to step closer, slapping his back enough to nearly make Goro fall off his own chair. But just nearly. “Don’t ya have somewhere to be?”

He was annoyed. Not at the question but at the sudden slap. Yet he decided to not comment on that and instead readjust himself. “She’s probably worried, right.”

“Hm? She?” The guy repeated before letting out a sudden gasp. “Oh, right, right. You got a gal at home. I totally forgot.”

“To be fair I don’t talk about her a lot.” Mainly because he doesn’t have the time. The cases took priority. Although… She showed up quite a lot, always finding one excuse after the other to just come over and see him. 

“Same gal?”

“Y… Yes. We have been together for a while.” 

“Oho? Your wife then?”

Hearing that made Goro nearly grow cold. Hearing that word… That one word and its connotations. Yet he couldn’t just freeze up like that. He had to keep the conversation rolling, so he chuckled. Though he forced it out of himself. “No, it’s nothing like that.”

The guy eyed him, gaze narrowing suddenly. “Not? Dude, hasn’t it been years? You dated her since starting here, right?”

“That is correct.”

“And you’re still not hitched? Damn. Keeping her waiting pretty much.”

Ugh… Why is it anyone’s business? “We’re both busy and like to wait.” Not exactly the truth. But anything to get that co–worker off his back.

“You sure?”

“Yes, very. It’s our relationship so please, don’t worry about it.” Although, getting himself into this pile of work… He didn’t want to think about it, at all. The topic of marriage… What nonsense.

Just when he was about to forget about it.

“Hah, fair ‘nough. You’re one lucky bastard. I’d kill for having a girl staying with me for that long.”

“Maybe someday you will be that lucky.” Looks like Goro needed to amuse the guy until he’s back home.

Whenever Goro was out and busy at work Lukanja would usually be at home. They also had their own workload of course. Just because you freelance doesn't mean that you get to slack off. There were deadlines to meet and requirements to follow, not to mention revisions when your client is unhappy about something. You gotta make it worth the price after all. And thus you couldn't exactly slack on any of these.

Though honestly, even now this barely felt like any work for Lukanja. In no time they would get rid of their workload. One may call them eager but honestly? It was more fun than anything. It didn’t feel like a job to be honest. Rather earning money with one of their favorite activities, one they could finally dedicate themself to. So it would be false to say that they ever felt truly exhausted. Well, if they took on too much then they would become exhausted too. But that was barely the case.

But that was also how they had collected some energy for this early afternoon. They had even told Goro about it. “ I hope you didn’t forget anything this time. ” They had joked. “ Because I won’t be available to bring it to you this time. ”

“ I’ll just text Ole then. ” Their boyfriend had joked right back… Somewhat. Ole worked in mysterious ways. Apparently he had come over a few times and delivered some things like papers to the office before. And then he would always get some special treats (he would beg for them with his baby face, typical Ole). Though right after Goro would reassure them at the very least. “ I checked twice this time. Don’t worry. ”

“ Really? ”

“ Yes, really. I know that you’re meeting… Him today. ” The last part may as well have been squeezed out of his mouth, knowing who it was. “ Hah… That I would still hear of this guy years later. ”

“ Is something wrong with that? ”

“ No, not at all. Be friends with whoever you like. I still stand by that. ”

“ Right, right. Sorry. And thank you. ”

“ Don’t thank me for something so basic. But enough chatter, I have to leave now. ”

“ Ah, right! Have a successful day at work today! ” And shortly before he would head out they would send him off with a quick peck on the cheek, then waving until they saw him no longer, usually when he was turning around the corner. 

Anyways, the meeting the two had discussed earlier that day was the one with one of their closest friends. Even after all those years the two managed to stay in contact and exchange all sorts of information. It was mostly via text but at least every few months, if possible, they would meet up at a spot all too familiar. 

A small café, though now run by someone entirely different. Yet it has kept the atmosphere since. Probably because a former regular had taken over. Or something? They weren’t sure. But it was still in that small street corner, away from the prying eye. And that was exactly where they had met him.

‘Same spot as usual?’

‘You mean Leblanc?’

‘Yeah, there.’

‘You still remember where it is?’

‘I didn’t forget.’

‘You sure? It’s been a while.’

‘We just met there five months ago.’

‘Haha, fair enough~’

The both of them had changed a lot, outward at least. Well, he was still the black, frizzy haired guy, though he had finally abandoned those glasses of his. Depending on the circumstances he was dressing either formally, usually when having been at work before, or casually. He had grown a little bit but not by much. There were stubbles sometimes on his chin too, indicating that he had somewhat aged. But deep down he was still the same Akira Kurusu they had met and were still meeting.

Well, Lukanja didn’t feel that much of a change either. Nowadays they had just slowed down with this ‘double life’ of theirs. Sure, sometimes they were still assuming one role but there was honestly no longer much need for it anymore. A pair of pants or a skirt. Covering up their body or making it visible. Ponytail or open hair. It didn’t matter anymore. They were still them after all and thus only dressed however they felt. ‘Anja’ or ‘Luka’, that idea is long gone. They were themself. Though they still liked using the name ‘Lukanja’, a name given by another friend of theirs. And that’s how their friends and boyfriend usually addressed them when alone or with people who knew. So of course that afternoon was no different for them.

It was one of the usual meet ups for Lukanja and Akira, though they were rare. Life had caught up to them and they were both busy at that point in time. It was mundane but it was a busy life. Yet sometimes they would be able to squeeze something in and get to talk like this, just catch up on some stuff and joke around, like during the old days. And it was all going fine, their own worries forgotten. That was until Akira steered the conversation into another direction… One which made them first just stare in silence.

“So, what are you and Akechi up to?” He had asked. On the surface it was a simple question. No, wait, it actually was a simple question. A fair one to ask honestly. And usually they would answer this with enthusiasm. They loved talking about what Goro had been up to as well – May it be a recent case (except confidential information of course), some embarrassing incidents or how Ole had snuck along work sometimes by hiding into their boyfriend’s coat when he was least expecting it. Small stuff but enough to have them always cackle or talk about it with enthusiasm. 

But now? They had hesitated a little bit and they had noticed. Yet their friend hadn’t said a thing, only looking at them patiently. “Oh, we’re fine.” Lukanja would finally mention, though the hesitation was bugging them. At the mention of Goro now they were a little avoidant. 

“You don’t make it sound like that.”

“No, really! It’s fine! Sure, we bicker here and there but it’s nothing serious! Honest!” That was the truth. Though they probably sounded defensive.

The tone was enough for Akira to look at them a little closer, making them go all stiff. They were worried. Did he not believe them? No, that can’t be it… But— “Right, you two are pretty much inseparable now.” He agreed, an amused scoff escaping his lips. “But something’s on your mind, isn’t it?”

“Is it that obvious?”

“You’re not exactly a good liar Lukanja.”

He was right. And they didn’t like it that he was correct. Their gaze shifted to the side for a moment, hands clutching onto their wide trousers before looking back at him. They didn’t want to speak up nor say yet there wasn’t much of a choice, was there? “Can I ask you something?” 

“Oh, sure. What is it?”

“And you gotta be honest! Ok!?”

“Huh?” Uhm… Sure.” It seems that they had confused even Akira now. But what’s done is done. No turning back now. Deep breath… They could already imagine his reaction but… They had to ask. They just had to!

”Would I make a good spouse?”

The moment this question escaped their lips their friend was just eyeing them, a little baffled. Or rather caught off guard more than anything. All that was missing was his mouth agape or something like that. That even some guy like him could be caught off guard like this, at this day in age. Even though he had probably seen the most unbelievable things compared to most other people. Or maybe that’s an exaggeration. Regardless, he was a little taken aback in the end. “Where’s that coming from?”

“Well…  It’s been a while now.” They continued explaining, first a little slow sounding. “After all, we’ve been dating for a while, Goro and I.” 

Akira nodded. “Yeah.”

“And… I’ve just been wondering.” They then let out a sigh. Never had they imagined that this topic would get to them. They recalled what they had said even shortly before having properly gotten to know Goro, to their own mother nonetheless. ‘I will never get married!’ But look at them now, coming off as probably desperate. It shouldn’t be that big of a deal… It’s just a formality. Both of them could still love each other without any of that. And yet, the urge had become stronger for Lukanja, enough to constantly hint at it, trying to find an opening starter. But they were blocked off, always.

Ah! They were lost in thought there again! Not good! Thus they quickly shook their head before adding rather quickly: “I mean if he doesn’t want to marry then it’s fine! I understand! But at least he should be straight forward with it! I mean if he doesn’t want to for whatever reason then—”

“Ah, calm down Lukanja.” Akira interrupted them, just before they would start to talk like a machine non stop. Or talk their throat dry. “Or you’re going to overthink it again.”

“Huh!? Right! Ah, sorry!” They responded, taking another deep breath to calm down. “Sorry. It’s just been on my mind for a while. It’s been so long… I started slowly wondering.”

“I get that but you know how Akechi is.”

“Yeah… Still…” They looked away for a short moment before continuing to speak. “Akira… If it’s alright… Can I tell you everything on my mind right now? You don’t have to say anything, just…”

“Can’t say I’m not used to it.” He joked, trying to get rid of the tension they had caused. It was a little embarrassing though. “Go on. Say what you need to say.”

“Thank you! No, really!” A moment of relief. Even if they won’t get their answer, at least that puts them at ease. “It’s only been the last few months since I thought about it but it’s been bugging me…”

And then they filled him in on all the thoughts weightening on their mind all afternoon. They didn’t expect it to go that way but here they were, pouring everything out. 

And even after that they were none the wiser. But at least they got it all out which helped a little bit… Probably.

Honestly, the topic would haunt Goro wherever he went. Even a few days later. Co–Workers often mistook Lukanja as his ‘wife’ or would joke about it, constantly asking when he would ‘tie the knot’ with them. He was getting a little tired of it, kind of sick of it even. But unfortunately there really was no escape whatsoever. He would hear of it, fate would make sure of that. Even today… Though this time he knew.

For a little while one of the higher ups had been off the clock, taking time off to focus on the next big stage in his life. Goro and Lukanja had been there during the big day, on that ceremony, so he had seen it before. He already knew.  And on that day he congratulated the two, of course he would. The better question was why he wouldn’t. Although, it was also a little ironic.

Eli Sato and Sae Nijima. Apparently people had been waiting for this day for months. The sparks were flying even back then and there had been a good few months of anticipation of them even dating… And then a bit more until they would finally get married. It was a mess, one Goro involuntarily was involved in, constantly having to give advice to one of them. Those days were over now though… Luckily. Hopefully. It should be the case, given that they were now a married couple, accomplished in some way.

In any case, Officer Sato, though now Officer Nijima probably, had been away for the time being. All this stuff coming with being newlyweds most likely. Yet they had settled, meaning that the officer would return to his workplace and today was the day. Goro had heard of it yet didn’t expect to run into the officer midway through the hall. Goro himself had just retrieved something for one of the several ongoing investigations he was involved in. Though he was stopped dead in his tracks.

“Ah, it’s you boy. Still working yourself to the bone.” The officer would say, forcing the younger guy to turn his gaze around to see the older one. Needless to say, the officer in question seemed to be in way better spirits than before. Years ago especially but even now. 

“Welcome back Sa– No, it’s Nijima–San now.” Goro corrected himself quickly. It is still a little hard to believe that the two of them had some bad blood surrounding them in the past. Yet over the last few years things had improved, surprisingly. The two didn’t really see eye to eye but now? It wasn’t constant death glares at least. And honestly, having someone around where you don’t have to pretend to be someone else at work was refreshing. Or at least you don’t have to pretend to be this overly polite co–worker, even in situations where you would rather want to bash someone’s head in. “Congratulations to you and Sae–San.”

“You already said that at the ceremony.” The officer would assure him, a lot calmer than before. No, calm wasn’t the right word. Relaxed would fit it better, wouldn’t it? “Also we’ve been over this. Just call me Eli.”

“This again? Look—”

“And yet you call my wife by her first name.”

Goro stopped as soon as the officer pointed it out. A click of the tongue escaped, akin to a scoff. He couldn’t bring himself to deny that nor think of a fitting counter.

“Good to know that you realized that too.” Goro’s ‘boss’ just had to rub it in. And it amused this one too it seemed. “Besides, Anja does it too, doesn’t she?”

“Because you two only seem to be getting closer as time goes on.”

“Still a stubborn one, aren’t we?”

“I could say the same about you.” Though oddly enough, Goro didn’t really mind. In fact he could catch himself smirking a little bit at that remark. There were no hard feelings behind it either, not anymore at least.

And Eli seemed to agree. “It’s been some time. But nothing changed.” He even remarked before continuing. “ Although, speaking of Anja… Honestly, surprised that I got married earlier than you two.”

This again… The detective only wanted to roll his eyes. He’s hearing this again… This topic he dreaded so much right now. But he couldn’t show it. “Surprised? Oh please… It’s natural, isn’t it?” 

The officer adjusted his glasses for a moment. “What do you mean by that?”

“You and Sae–San are older.”

“And you’ve been with Anja longer.”

“We—” A direct counter, one leaving Goro speechless for a short moment. But he wasn’t going to back down. In fact he forced himself to respond regardless. “It’s a bit too early, isn’t it?”

Yeah, there was a clear difference here. Both Eli and Sae–San are older so of course they would get entangled like this quicker. They had themselves figured out, now more so than ever. They were more experienced. So of course it was only natural that the two of them would get married first, wouldn’t it? 

So why is Sa— Eli–San looking at him as if he was stating something rather confusing? It shouldn’t be that much of a surprise, right? Right!? “Huh? I don’t think–” The officer even wanted to say but it was there where Goro decided to just cut it short in the end. Not like there wasn’t really an excuse for that to begin with.

“Sorry but I should get going.” A quick yet reasonable interruption. “I have some stuff to finish and I don’t want to come home too late.” 

“R… Right… Yeah, sure. I understand. Got someone to return home to after all.”

A nod. “Yes. So I’ll head back to work now. I’ll see you tomorrow Sa– Ahem, Eli–San.” Though it was just an excuse in the end. After all, Goro really didn’t want to get too deep into that topic again.

Marriage… Yet again… This was getting ridiculous.

The conversation from a moment ago… Needless to say, even Eli had been a little surprised when speaking to Akechi. While he seemed to be doing alright in a sudden shift he just seemed a little out of it. And when he excused himself because of work he was honestly in a rush. 

The topic of marriage seemed to be one the boy wished to avoid. He might think that he had a poker face but that was honestly far from the truth. This wasn’t a poker face at all. He could only fool so many people. Eli wasn’t one of those people, especially not now.

Truth to be told he wasn’t really fond of the boy at first. He always seemed like a menace, someone who was hard to get rid of. Waltzing in and being seen as a prodigy in detective work, being ever so important and played up by the media as someone big. Well, even after those days were over there wasn’t much reason to trust him so easily. Not many knew, only very few were filled in, but Akechi had quite a bit of shit up his arse. 

And Eli knew, having heard it first from Lukanja a long time ago. The Mental Shutdown Incidents? Those were all his doing. But nothing had been so simple. Eli came to this realization after having put Akechi into the position of a full time detective, just to keep a close eye on him. If the law couldn’t do anything, he would. And that meant to keep an eye on the boy at all times for the rest of his days.

It was this time making Eli slowly learn just how much of a mess the guy was, that nothing was so simple. Of course that didn’t mean he was off the hook, by no means. And Akechi himself was also fully aware of that. He had never fought Eli in any way about the decision to keep him permanently close, in watching distance and having reports delivered on the regular. But the two had formed a type of connection, becoming more understanding. Ironic, given that the detective was once a brat in the officer’s eyes. Of course Akechi was still under strict supervision and Eli would make sure to keep up his strict approach but it had turned into more than ‘disciplining him’ or ‘tolerating his presence’.

Maybe Anja had played a part in it too. The girl showed pretty much right away just how much she cared about the boy. She made sure that he would be held accountable yet she did her best so that he would be at least alive in the end. And these days it only got more obvious. Her constantly showing up to check up on him or texting the officer to ask about Akechi if he didn’t show up at home for days on end. It got busy so she was understanding yet she really wanted to be sure that he was alright. And while the boy himself didn’t mention her much during work it was obvious that he often got embarrassed whenever she showed up in some way, even if it was via a mere phone call (by calling Eli first). The two were inseparable, even the officer knew that. And it has been like that for years now.

Hence why it was still surprising to see the two not fully committed. At first Eli assumed that it was because it may not have been important to them. Yet this conversation earlier showed that there was more going on. Akechi had just flat out avoided the conversation about marriage after all. So he was curious what Anja thought. If it wasn’t a big deal he wouldn’t be so defensive. Then again, maybe the officer was imagining things but that was unlikely. Hence why he decided to text her at the next best chance.

‘Hey kiddo. How’re you doing?’

‘Eli! Hehe, not much. Just finishing up some work.’

‘Should you be on your phone then?’

‘It’s freelancing y’know. Besides, I’m almost done with the writing.’

‘Alright, alright.’

‘Back at work I heard. Do you miss Sae already?’

‘Hey now, it hasn’t been that long. I can handle it until I get back home.’

‘Right, right.

But you know how newlyweds are.’

‘It’s not like that. We still have our jobs.’

‘Fair enough.’

‘Can I ask you something Anja?’ Here it goes…

‘Sure. What’s up? 

Did Goro do something?’

‘No, he didn’t.

But I guess it’s somewhat related to him.’

‘Huh!?

Did something happen!? Is he hurt!?’

‘No, he’s fine. I was just wondering what your thoughts are about you and him marrying.’ And as soon as he sent that there was a moment of silence. It was a little longer than anticipated, making even the officer uncomfortable. Did he say something wrong? Or maybe they were trying to drop it too? It wasn’t his business in the end so–

‘Why do you bring this up?’ A sudden message from Anja, though one they probably had hesitated typing. There was no reason to lie to her however.

‘We were talking about it.

Or at least tried to.’

‘You were?

Huh…

What did he say?’

‘Nothing really.

Only that it’d be too soon apparently.’

‘I see…’

‘You don’t sound enthusiastic.’ Usually the girl would respond right away and keep her messages somewhat long. At least not that short, that much was certain. In fact it took her quite a bit to respond yet again, though this time only a few seconds.

‘Sorry. I don’t mean to come off like that.’

‘No, it’s fine. 

You know, if something’s on your mind, you can tell me.’

‘Thanks Eli. But there’s no need. I got this.’

‘You always say that.’

‘Hey, you came to me for relationship advice with Sae!’

‘How about I return the favor?’ And again, no response for a longer while. That was until—

‘If you insist… I suppose I can tell you.’

‘Good. 

And don’t hold back. I want to hear everything.’

It was just some letters on a phone screen but there truly was something about this conversation which showed just how Anja was feeling. She wasn’t exactly in her element either yet she wasn’t as defensive about it. Though it seemed to get to her, that much was obvious. In what way Eli didn’t know, at least not yet.

But she would tell him everything and it made him think just a little bit…

Maybe, just maybe, the boy needed a little push. And if no one was going to give him that push then it was this man’s turn to get the ball rolling, in some way. Besides, he owed them as well, given how they both helped get him to that point with Sae. So he was going to return the favor.

After all, he hated having a debt like this unpaid. And kids always need some guidance from their elders, don’t they?

When Sa– No, Niji– Ahem, Eli… Yeah, Eli had asked for Goro to come for lunch today he hadn't declined. In fact he didn't even think much of it, treating it as something normal. There had been a few times before where he had been dragged to lunch or dinner without any further explanation. It started as a ‘one time thing’ yet had eventually become a regularity. Goro wasn't too fond of it at first yet had allowed himself to be dragged. Though he started to mind less and less later down the line. Yet he would probably not say this out loud. 

In any case, right now both would sit across another at a table, having ordered their respective lunches and were now waiting. And it was awfully silent too. That wasn't super unusual honestly. After all, the two took their sweet ass time sometimes. Yet this one was different, very different. So much so that Goro was growing impatient. 

Mainly because he didn't want to feel so awkward. The tension was putting him a little on edge. He really didn't like the feeling. It was as if he couldn't move. Or rather, his body wouldn't let him. At first he liked to think that he was just imagining things, that it wasn't anything in particular. However, one question would put Goro on the spot, one coming from literally out of nowhere. And it hit him hard yet again, his stomach tying itself together when hearing it.

“So… How do you feel about marrying Anja?” – A question Eli had decided to break the silence with. He didn't elaborate further, only staring at the detective and waiting for his response, looking at him somewhat expectedly. He wasn't saying anything, just sitting there with his mouth closed.

Goro didn't like this, at all. Having been put on the spot like that. He clicked his tongue a bit in disbelief before being able to speak up. “Where is that coming from?” He finally asked after the silent agony.

The officer shook his head. “Just answer the question.”

Ugh, of course. Honestly, Goro would rather get up and leave but he was stuck now. Maybe that was the plan actually… “Hah… Didn’t I say–” He wanted to repeat the same statement from a few days ago but he couldn't finish it. 

“Answer.” Quick and sharp yet with no bitterness behind it. Only the usual expected strictness if anything.

Goro stayed silent for a moment. He didn't want to answer. It was way too direct. He didn't like this at all, being put on the spot like this. He would just keep those feelings to himself, as he had always done. An old habit dying hard, or something like that. He honestly just didn't know how to approach it properly, what to say. He didn't want to speak up. But one glare was enough to make him speak at this point. Hah… He had known this man for far too long. It was almost ridiculous now. Goro should not cave this easily but unfortunately he did. It ticked even himself off at points. Why did he need to explain himself to the officer in the first place? Because he acted like Lukanja's Dad sometimes!? … Honestly, that may have been it.

He didn't want to come out and say it. But he had to at that point. Why was this man so silent anyways!? That only made everything worse… “It’s not that I don’t want to. It’s just…”

“Just?” Eli looked at Goro with an even more intense glare. It was even more expectant. Honestly, the brunette just wanted to break the table at that point. It was that bad. Telling someone what he feels was just too much to ask, even years later. 

The younger one looked down for a moment though averting the man’s gaze was too late now. He had crawled into that trap with no return whatsoever.  The only hope was that it rolled off Goro’s tongue easier if he wasn't looking. “I don’t want to cause them more problems. That’s all.” A response at least. But one which he still had to force out of his mouth despite not looking at Eli.

And then nothing. No response. The waiter came back shortly after, placing their bowls down respectively. A quick ‘thanks’ from both guys before the waiter left shortly after saying ‘Enjoy.’ Oh how twisted. Goro was certainly enjoying himself while being put on the spot like that. Totally. Especially with the amount of pauses in between. How Goro would wish for Eli to let it go. But he wasn't like this. Hence why the silence was unbearable, almost nerve–wracking 

Though the officer would eventually begin talking again. “I understand that you worry about her.” He said, making Goro look up at the older man once more. His gaze was infuriatingly understanding, not soft though. Stern but not judging, a contrast to the cold gazes back in the day. It made the younger one unsure how to feel. It was frustrating sometimes. It shouldn’t be like this. And yet it had turned into this with the officer. “You don’t want to put a burden onto her, given everything that went down.”

“No need to be reminded…” Yeah, this is also why the officer formerly known as Sato got under Goro’s skin sometimes. He knew and yet over time he also stopped pushing his junior away. It was… Complicated, to say the least. Mainly because Goro didn't get it and could usually roll with it. It's just that the starter question put him on edge to have all of these thoughts resurface. 

“You brought it up boy.”

Goro grumbled. “Fair, I suppose.” 

“But lemme tell you… You're worried for no reason.”

“What makes you say that?” A bold claim, to say the least.

Officer Nijima sat a little backwards, leaning into his chair. “Knowing Anja she’s probably stubborn enough to stay.” Why did he have to say something factually correct? “Think about it, if she was really bothered by it, would she stick around?”

Goro fell silent yet again. Not just because it bothered him that he couldn’t argue with those words. He knew Lukanja better than probably anyone else (or so he hoped at least). Their stubbornness knows no bounds unfortunately. This was no exception. And yet, hearing it out of someone else’s mouth was still something somewhat unexpected. Maybe a push back into reality? “W… Well…” And yet— 

“Talk to her about it. I’m sure that you two can go figure it out.” 

“It’s not that easy.”

“Nothing is y’know.” 

“Of course I know!” Why wouldn’t he!?

“Then stop acting so stubborn and talk to her about it. Besides, you guys figured things out before, didn’t you?”

Any other protest would just fall on deaf ears at this point. It was as if Goro was being slapped here, by his higher up nonetheless on a rather personal matter. And yet the logic was sound proof. It made sense. And that’s what made it infuriating. There was no room to argue and it made him almost feel like an idiot. Approaching Lukanja about it, telling them how he feels, letting them know the exact same thing he told the officer just now. Why was he scared? No, that’s a dumb question. He knew why, he said it himself. He would only cause them more problems in the long run. If they were to actually get married… Ah shit, why is it getting to him so much now? His head is spinning. Maybe he should have run regardless. Damn it, now he’s gonna think about it all day and causing himself to be unable to truly focus. Damn this all…

“Let her know how you feel too, alright?” Was the last thing Eli said on the topic.

All Goro could do was nod. “Y… Yeah…” He’s right. He’s unfortunately right. Not like that would escape the younger one’s tongue though. But he knew, both knew actually. It was unfortunately very obvious. And there was no room to negotiate. 

It may as well eat him up alive if he stayed silent for longer. Was he really going to have to bring this up? 

Eli just left Goro no choice…

The conversation continued to echo in Goro’s head, playing back and forth. It jumped to certain aspects yet it was more than obvious that it was plaguing him. What Eli said was unfortunately correct. He knew that for some time now. It’s just that this young man was talented at being stubborn day in and out. It was plaguing him, enough that he was no longer giving it his all for the day. And so he excused himself a little earlier than usual. Of course still within working hours yet it wasn’t like him to leave on time. Usually he would spend a bit longer in the office and today he would have loved to have done just that. But that would be running from everything again, wouldn’t it? And it was bad when not even work could distract Goro from something like this.

Not just that but the glares from the officer didn’t exactly help either. It was as if he was being stared down at all points, any possible chance. Officer Nijima was like a hawk. Or something like that… In any case, Goro couldn’t bear his constant glares either, hence why he left rather swiftly. And when he left he turned once more, only to see the officer nod, as if approving. Hah… What a pain.

The downside was that it left Goro with his thoughts all to himself until home. Even with the constant muttering in the crowded train or people passing by on the streets. It wasn’t enough to leave him alone. It was repeating, over and over. The words, the reminders. It all boiled down to just… Talk. Have a conversation. Let them know how he feels instead of dodging the question like he always did. 

‘You see, miscommunication is such a stupid trope. Sometimes I wonder why the characters aren’t just talking it out? I know that it’s not easy but sometimes the misunderstanding is just because they can’t communicate 100 pages in. ’ – Something Lukanja liked to say as well and something he remembered. It made him feel even more ridiculous when remembering it yet also somewhat frustrated. Wasn’t he doing the exact same thing? Minus being a character in some book but it was damn close… 

In any case, the thoughts would only last for so long as soon enough he reached the door to their apartment. The usual procedure, opening it and entering the small apartment. “I’m home.” He would announce, though weaker than usual. Loud enough for his partner to hear at least, even if he may have hoped to sneak past them this time. Yet a part of him also knew that this wouldn’t happen. Because shortly after he would hear those footsteps and the greeting he was all too used to – Lukanja dashing over and hugging him without any hesitation.

“Welcome home!” They would say, as cheerfully as ever. It was as if nothing had changed. The same old, what he was used to by now… Losing that would be devastating. Maybe that’s why he was also afraid… Ruining something like this… He didn’t want that. Yet at the same time he couldn’t believe just how anxious he was. Especially when he knows that their smile will fade once he decides to actually engage in the conversation. Though it would take quite a bit of guts for him to do that. But one step at a time. “So, how was your day?”

“Same as always.” He responded, trying to sound exhausted. Yet he was way too tense to even think about that, let alone work.

“Really? I mean, you’re home early.”

“Is that a bad thing?” 

“Haha, no. Not at all. I’m always happy when you get home early. Means we can spend more time together~” Even now Lukanja was all cheerful and bubbly. “I was just surprised. Let me guess… Escaping from Officer Nijima?”

“As if I’m not used to him at this point.” Goro sighed, though feeling the grip around him tightening lightly. Not even a moment and they were already so damn clingy. 

“Didn’t you say that he’s working you to the bone sometimes?”

“Not like I have a choice to refuse him.” Not like he would anyways.

“Right, right. Your boss and all.” Their grip would then loosen, letting go of him. A part of him wanted to keep them closer for just a little longer yet he knew that this would just distract him once more. Besides, standing around in the coat was getting to him. It was way too warm to wear that indoors. 

So he walked right past them, taking it off and hanging it onto its usual spot. Though it was silent between them for a moment yet again. Not a word slipped out in this short window. Honestly, it was now or never but if he did then there would be no return. No out of this conversation. He would have to follow through. He didn’t want to but at the same time the urge was getting to him, more than imagined. And before knowing it his lips would let it slip. “Lukanja… About the past few days…”

There wasn’t a response, at least not right away. He didn’t see their face so he had to guess the reaction. Though when they talked once more they sounded a bit more strained yet trying to mask it in some way. “Hm? What do you mean Goro?”

This question. He knew that they knew. They could catch on quickly. They were known to read between the lines. But no, deep breath. “You… Wanted to talk about something, didn’t you?”

And there was more silence. Finally, with the coat placed onto the rag, he turned around to face them. And there he saw it, their eyes a little wide open and mouth a tiny bit open. They seemed to hesitate yet came around moments later. They managed to get the words out. “Yeah. There is. Will you hear me out?”

He nodded. Even if he was quite nervous himself here. “Sure. Go on.”

“Uhm…” They were fumbling around, standing in place. Their hands were pressed together, fingers circling around one another sometimes. That or they were pressing them very tightly. They were shaking in place a little, swaying slightly from one side to the next. It was as if they were trying to find their own words here. Yet they got around eventually, given a bit of time, though stuttery. “What do you think about… Getting married someday?” 

There it was, the question he dreaded. That one question made him nearly sink into the ground, his heart about to collapse like a stone from some great height. Yet just barely avoiding it. Yet his body was only growing stiff again from hearing the thought, hands becoming sweaty beneath his gloves. 

“I mean it has been a while so I was wondering.” Lukanja continued though, cutting Goro off before he could even begin. It was as if they felt that they had to justify themself. Even though they didn’t have to.

‘ Let her know how you feel too. ’ Easier said than done Officer Nijima.

“I… Well…” There it was, the expected stutter. One which even got under his own skin. He wanted to drop it so badly. But he couldn’t. Not when he made it this far. Also knowing that they wouldn’t let it go no matter how hard he tried to avoid it. So he literally had to squeeze every other word out of his mouth. “I… want to…—” That’s all he said. He wants to. But it was abrupt, a sudden cut off, as if more was to follow. But there wasn’t. It wouldn’t slip out. It just wouldn’t get out there in any way.

“But?” He saw them asking, tilting their head. Curiosity yet also confusion, expecting all the same however. “There’s a catch, isn’t there?” They knew Of course they did. To them he may as well be an open book at this point.

“It’s just…” His teeth clenched together for a moment before continuing to speak. letting what is on his mind slip, or rather initiating it. “You know what you might get yourself into, right?”

“What do you mean?” Asking ever so innocently, as if unaware. Why?

“Oh don’t play dumb. You know what I mean! You’d marry not just some illegitimate orphan but also a—”

“Are you scared that I will leave?” Lukanja suddenly interrupted, their tone growing more serious. and he couldn’t help but squint in place. He didn’t want to answer that yet it was obvious to them, like anything else, and he saw them soon enough shake their head before continuing ever so softly. “I won’t. I told you so much, didn’t I? I will keep my promise. I will never—”

“That’s not the point!” He would protest, of course he would. Once stubborn, always stubborn. But that truly wasn’t the point. He believed them. He knew that they wouldn’t leave him just like that. They have proven it plenty of times already, even before starting to mingle together. 

“Then what is the point?” Lukanja looked a little skeptical, then folded their arms.

“The point is that I would give you more problems than necessary!” Goro just shot it out, just like that. He didn’t even think properly while saying this, only realizing once he had said it all. Yet there were no take backs, not anymore. Not when he was in there this deep. Though he felt a bit shaky, laying his feelings out in the open like that, even if it was Lukanja. It scared him to some extent.

“Eh? That’s—”

“It would be a burden. And I don’t want to put that on you.” He finished, holding back biting his tongue to cut himself off earlier. This was it. He said it, voiced it all. His concerns but also his feelings. Right there, all exposed. He may as well become all bear now. 

The answer took a bit but would be as expected. It was Lukanja after all. But still, it plagued Goro’s mind. Maybe he was hoping for some reassurance? It’s not some big secret after all. But he was still trembling a little. Ugh, why was this so complicated? He hated it so much. Feeling things was a pain and hard to get used to again. Damn it. Damn it all!

And yet, he gasped when he heard the start of their response. “You think I care?” They asked, walking closer to him and before knowing it they took their own hands into his, looking up at him with determination, more serious than before. Probably one of their most serious times honestly, given that their gaze may as well pierce through him. “Please don’t worry so much.”

“You know of the potential consequences.” A part of him found his hands grabbing onto theirs as well though, fingers intertwining. He was still shaking yet found himself also calming down a little, trembling slowly fading away.

“So what if people will look down on me if they ever find out? That doesn’t change anything.” They said, reassuring, soft yet also sharp. “Besides, I’m used to it. Even with my father declared as innocent I’m still ‘the daughter of a criminal’.”

“B… But…” They said it. Yeah, that was true. Their late father left with a reputation known as a murderer. Even if it was all fabricated, people never forgot. Sure, no one knew about Goro’s crimes, or not many, but it was still there. Were they really going to be fine with— 

“I love you Goro. And I want to be with you.” They cut him off in the end. Yeah, even if it was obvious, maybe he needed to hear this in some way, from their own mouth, let alone with such determination. Why was he so scared? How much of an idiot was he? Then again, his mind was still all over the place sometimes. “No matter what happens, I made up my mind. I want to be by your side. I want to take a step forward and make yet another promise to you. I want to be yours, forever.”

“Lukanja…”

“So… How about it? Can we get married?”

At this point there is only one answer…

“Haha, you did it! Congratulations boy!”

“Officer Nijima, not so loud!” 

It didn’t take long for the news to spread. Goro should have seen that coming. There was no other answer coming to mind than one word. And that was a short ‘Yes’. Though he really hesitated for a while, processing if this was actually happening. Lukanja actually asked him, being as straightforward as ever, having looked at their boyfriend ever so hopeful. With all they had said and the way they had looked at him, how could he say no at that point? And the moment that ‘Yes’ escaped his lips they were all over him once more for the rest of the night. And they were all giddy too, overjoyed. This was one of the happiest times for them from the looks of it. 

Goro expected to be confronted very quickly about it but not in the span of the next 24 hours, not even from the older officer. This one had just come into the office, walked over to Goro’s chair and patted his back several times, enough for him to nearly fall over, onto the desk. But he had caught himself just fine. And now he was stuck in this conversation about ‘having finally decided to go for it’.

“Who told you any—” Goro was about to ask but then stopped his thought right then and there. “Right, Anja…” 

Eli nodded. “She sounded excited about you agreeing.” He responded. That Lukanja really couldn’t hold back any excitement… Was it really that big of a deal? Goro didn’t get it. Literally spilling the news on the spot. But it was what it was. No need to beat around the bush. Besides, the officer probably would have found out eventually. “Soo… When’s the day?”

Goro stared at the officer, a little unimpressed yet also flustered. “Hold on, we just agreed to go through with it.” He said, almost in a flat tone. There really wasn’t much more to add than that. “We didn’t get that far yet…” All he did was agree to marry them. There wasn’t the talk about preparations just yet. Who knows when that will even be. Actually, what do you do at a wedding? How is it supposed to work? Sure, he had been at Sae–San’s and Eli’s but that was just one out of many. How did they manage planning it in the first place? … Why is Goro worrying about this already!?

“Then hop to it. I think she can hardly wait.” The older man laughed, then patted Goro’s back once more.

“You sound way too invested in our business…” The younger one remarked, almost sharply, somewhat unamused. Yet that was only to hide his flusteredness honestly.

“Eh, just glad to see that you two are finally getting it together. No take backs, you hear?”

“Hah, loud and clear Officer Nijima…”

The news spreading so fast was something else. And yet there was just something about this… Something which made Goro a little giddy when thinking about it. At least deep down. No way he would ever say that aloud to anyone. That would be a little much.

Yet he wasn’t complaining. Well, there was still an amount of fear here and there, no denying. After all, he wanted this to last. But committing… He wanted to, and he meant that. So maybe it’s time to finally show and embrace it.

To say that Lukanja was ecstatic about the news was an understatement. They really couldn’t help themself but text someone about it. Well, there was Eli but they had told him already, late at night. And the reaction… Well, a ‘Congrats’ was a good thing, wasn’t it? Although they might have told someone else… Someone they had met not too long ago at Leblanc. All while sitting on the couch with their phone. Honestly, they were sitting there for longer than anticipated. They were still in disbelief, so giddy that they could hardly focus. A slow day wouldn’t hurt once in a while, would it? And so, the string of text messages was exchanged… 

‘Hehe, it’s finally going to happen. We talked about it and Goro finally agreed to get married~’

‘Oh, congratulations.’

‘Thanks!

Right now it’s just a verbal agreement but we’ll be taking that step. 

Hehe, I can’t wait.’

‘Someone is excited.’

‘Sorry but I can’t help it.’

‘Oh, it’s fine. It’s quite the news after all.

So did you make any other plans yet?’

‘Oh, not right now. We only just talked about it. But we will start preparing as soon as possible!’

‘Good luck. 

And don’t overwhelm him. As excited as you are.’

‘No promises~’

And yet, all they could do was sit down, all giggly and giddy. Ahaha, never had they imagined to act like this over the simple news of getting married to someone. But here they were, enjoying this turn around. They should take the time to become more grounded honestly. Though they were honestly looking forward to it. 

“ Finally, after all this time… I will be able to fully devote myself to him. ”

[justsomeonenamedskyla]

okay. i have exerted all of my reactionary frustrations over the new homestuck animated pilot. overall i think it looks pretty cool. i'll try watching it when it comes out!

[ad-ya]

Are you a librarian??

I used to work in special collections within an academic library but (unfortunately) don’t any longer. I figure I will eventually get a masters of library and information science but for the time being I just read quite a bit!

[openphrase123]

Aus in general are fun. But most of the time I'm not sure if they are ooc so into the 'forever unwritten' they will stay!

Haha I haven't published anything in years

holds ur hands. "in character" writing will drive you crazy forever, it is impossible to pursue because everyone's character interpretations are different. and generally it'll pigeonhole you into stiff dialog and action. you seek "in tone" or "in theme" writing.

"in tone" writing is, generally, when characters are doing some weird shit they didn't do in canon but you look at it and go "yeah that makes sense." isat specifically is a game that is, in general, light-hearted and joke-y, with emotionally raw and genuine moments sprinkled for emphasis. from my personal isat read, something will feel tonally dissonant if the jokes veer too far into sarcasm, or if it's a straight line of angst with no levity or connection in between

"in theme" is when you pick a theme from the source material to explore more deeply. the good news is that isat is written very well and has a buttload of themes you can pick and extrapolate out of it. shit like loss of culture or codependency or depression or facades or literally i could keep going all day. but this one you do gotta be careful of. remember literature class for this one.

this applies both to character and plot writing. every character in isat has a general tone and set of themes associated with them because Fuck This Game Is Written Well. so find your blorbo and think about why they do and say the things they do, both from their own fictional interpretation of their own actions and how they are written as Characters in a Story

if you can surf between these two things (if you stay on track for one, going off course for the other won't ever feel weird, but i like to have an even spread of both), things feeling ooc will not matter to you and you will be Free. Go Post Your Dreams

[greennoobartist]

The ideas i get for potential TSoTT are edits driving me crazy.... Look, CapCut is not the problem, this time, it's the fact that most of their designs are not on paper yet 🤣😭

[petrichal]

It's absolutely a me thing, probably, but people who say that they hate an author and have the time to reiterate it endlessly but continues to support their work- without ever crediting the good part of the writing that makes them a fan to begin with- irks me so goddamn much.

An author and their work is very intrinsically tied together. They write their beliefs of the world in the text, their sociopolitical stance practically bleeds out from the pages. Of course this isn't the case when you're making a comic or book/any form of media for the sake of it being disturbing, but the point is, I need people to understand that an artist's work is an extension of themselves and you need to respect that especially if it's a work that you love and connect with.

[daemon-in-my-head]

Do we think fiends speak mock prayers in an exchange with no-fiends?

I mean Infernal is Latin (or adjacent) and fiends are, after all, known for their very agreeable nature. So them speaking a prayer in Infernal (a language most of their "business partners" won't understand), save for God XYZs name + their whole stick with souls and fucking with other pantheons I just think it would suit them and inspire dread in aforementioned partners. Cuz that devil just used your gods name and you don't even know why or what that was about.

I think it would suit them. Particularly higher ranking fiends.

[greaterstolenlandspolycule]

Love how the Stolen Lands is filled with ruins and fallen kingdoms (I mean. Taldor is still a thing. Just not here!)

[skitskatdacat63]

It is bird wife hours >:)

+

Aaahhh her evolution is so fun, I love to draw her 🥹 every time I draw her, I feel like her face gets more detailed. It's weird looking back at the first two drawings bcs I guess she just looks so plain?

I'll always have a fondness for that second most recent one on the bottom left. I like the one I just drew cause I've def improved. But ah there's just smth about her stylistically. Just soooooo bird like and slavic looking, as she should. But very nice to see how much I've improved in a year and half or so. And the first one is from 2019 I think 💀

[lohstandfound]

hmm.... Jake's labels for this exhibition being filled with codes and references only the rest would understand in hopes that's they were drawn to the museum

Jake labels being a perfect mixture of informative and poetic, passionate and practical. They're emotional (Brooke cries the first time reading them. Jake spent countless hours perfecting them because they had to be right, they had to be perfect. He couldn't let his friends down)