#emotionally i'm just never gonna recover from this | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

luv4fushi · 1 year ago

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omfg i litr read everything uve written off ur masterlist I NEED MOREEEE. i love the way u write megumi especially, i couldn’t get enough of it. i hope you write more of him, my heart aches for more tbh 🥹 tysm for being such a good writer and feeding us starved readers well

tysm! i'm sooo glad i can be a good source of megumi content for you >_< i looove writing megumi so you'll be seeing sooo much more of him, dw! happy holidays!

this december

jjk fushiguro megumi x fem!reader

it’s always colder on your own, especially around this time of year. you should be at home, bundled up with a warm cup of hot chocolate, but here you are in shinjuku, exorcizing curses with your ex boyfriend two weeks after your breakup with him. great.

content: post break up, aged up megumi (19/20), megumi is terrible at feelings, getting back together, fluff if you squint, a bit of angst, miscommunication, one bed (but it isn’t the main plot point sorry), megumi calls you baby like once, gojo is the best wingman, SHIBUYA ARC NEVER HAPPENED AND LIFE IS GOOD, not proofread im very sorry guys pls forgive me, kinda a word dump sry

word count: 5.8k (sigh this was supposed to be 2k words max)

click on my masterlist for more & merry christmas to those who celebrate!

it’s december 19th when satoru gojo tells you that he has a mission just for you. you’re less than ecstatic about it to say the least. the last thing you want to do is be sent to your death just shy of christmas day. you just want to rest your sore muscles and bask in the presence of your best friends. you’re not in the mood to kill any curses, mainly because you’ve just recovered from a previous mission.

“why me?” you groan.

gone are the days where you used to be a goody two shoes for satoru. you’re old enough to talk back now, not like when you had been a shy fifteen-year-old girl. besides, you’ve been around the silver-haired sorcerer long enough to know that he doesn’t mind the bite.

“sorry, kid,” satoru says with a shrug. at least he sounds genuine about it. “the higher ups requested for you specifically. they say you’ll get the job done in the cleanest way. we can’t have things getting messy before the holidays, right?”

“and you wouldn’t be the best choice?” you quip.

satoru only laughs. he ruffles your hair. even with your growth spurt and merciless training, he still towers over you. in a way, he’ll always be your mentor. “hey, i’m going out of town that weekend. give me a break.”

you huff petulantly. something about this mission seems fishy to you. you’re not nearly the strongest sorcerer out of the bunch of kids under satoru’s wings (not that you guys are kids anymore, but sometimes it’s hard to feel otherwise). hell, there’s the kyoto students. it feels like they never have to do anything. you wish that you were rebellious enough to chew utahime out for it.

“why couldn’t they just make yuta or megumi go?” you mutter under your breath. you stammer out megumi’s name and hope satoru doesn’t catch on to the way you can barely say it.

satoru knows about the breakup. why wouldn’t he? he’s basically megumi’s dad, even if the raven haired boy refuses to admit it. satoru’s six eyes mean you can’t hide anything from him (he’d been the first to know that megumi was head over heels for you).

satoru raises a brow. “oh, right. megumi’s coming along too.”

your face twists and you immediately whip around to glare at him. “you’re lying.”

“i wish,” he jokes. “i was really hoping i’d get a wedding invitation one day, you little rascal. i can’t believe you two broke up. maybe this’ll be a good thing!”

“i appreciate your honesty, but—”

“but megumi’s an emotionally constipated kid, yeah, that i know,” satoru laughs. he makes his way to the exit of his office which has you furrowing your brows. is your former teacher actually gonna just leave after making you come all the way here? how rude and so very in character of him.

“please, gojo,” you call out after him, “i don’t wanna go with him.”

“sucks for you,” satoru responds halfheartedly. “merry christmas. try not to take more than a week on this. you’ll have to pay the rest of the fee for accommodations if you do.”

“gojo!” you whine.

“it’s not a hard mission!” satoru insists like it’ll make your life any easier. “y’know, this time of year is when things get ugly. think of it as saving as many people as you can while putting in the least amount of effort!”

and then he teleports. your former teacher teleports away rather than being normal and walking out of the door. you roll your eyes and hope that he can sense it (you know he can’t).

so that’s why you’re here now. with your ex. on the elevator to your assigned room on the tenth floor. you’re so glad that it’s a normal hotel and not a love hotel. lord knows what you’d do if you had checked into a love hotel.

megumi hasn’t spoken a word to you since he broke up with you two weeks ago. it had been in the doorway to your apartment a few days after a particularly rough mission assigned to the both of you—the one you’re still recovering from. he’d pulled you in for a hug, whispering sweet words into your ear. he gave you a look, one of those looks that made him soften his usually sharp eyes.

“i think we should break up.”

and then came the pathetic whimper of yours. he had wiped your tears, even kissed them tenderly, before telling you that it wasn’t your fault—it was his. how cliche.

now as you stand next to him, you want to beat yourself up for not asking for closure. neither of you had explicitly stated that you two were going to be no-contact, but it hurts a lot less to push the idea of forever with megumi away to the back of your mind. besides, you two aren’t confrontational like that. not with each other, anyway.

“need help?” his tone is soft, tender—the tone he reserves specifically for you, the one that tells you he still cares.

you stare down at the luggage at your feet. you’ve always been a chronic overpacker, a habit that megumi knows of by now. he watches you curiously, hands itching at his sides. you can tell that he wants to reach out and grab your suitcase like he always does. he thinks he isn’t obvious, but you can always read through the lines, especially when it’s megumi.

“i’m okay,” you croak out, clearing your throat awkwardly.

the elevator dings and you make your way to your room. as much as you hate to admit it, you’re sort of glad that you and your ex boyfriend are sharing a room. perhaps his’ll be a good way to get closure, though you’re not really sure what closure entails.

what you don’t expect is to unlock the door and be met with a singular bed.

if satoru gojo didn’t have a layer of infinity coating his body (and if he wasn’t the strongest sorcerer alive), you would’ve wrung out his neck.

megumi simply walks into the room, setting his duffel bag down on one of the dressers opposite from the foot of the bed. he doesn’t comment on the lack of double beds, seemingly already aware of the set up.all he does is puff out a weary sigh. you suck in a breath and follow him inside, slipping your shoes off at the entrance.

you lug your suitcase in after you along with your duffel bag and backpack. you stumble forward and megumi’s arm snakes around your waist, steadying you.

“careful,” he mutters, nonchalantly taking your bag off our your shoulders.

it’s a quick series of movements; he swings your bag over his shoulders and places it on the dresser next to the one he’s claimed while guiding you softly to the side of the bed so that you’re not standing in the middle of the doorway.

you scrunch your face, feeling your heart thump against your ribcage. it’s stupid how he still has such a hold on you, even after two weeks of not seeing or talking to him. he’s just so caring, so gentle. it stings, like little the little cuts you get when fighting curses, when you realize that this is something you’ll have to learn how to lose.

“thanks,” you manage to mutter. you don’t trust yourself to say anything else. you know from the way your throat tightens that you’ll be crying soon if you force yourself to talk any more.

“i can take the couch,” megumi says.

it’s that easy with him; he’s a gentleman, so of course he’d take the couch. that’s the way megumi fushiguro is—he offers a solution before you even have the chance to complain. in your year and a half long relationship, that skill of his had been a saving grace.

“no, don’t bother,” you croak. “i’ll book another room.”

“really?” he asks. he stands up a little straighter, awkwardly reaching up to scratch the back of his neck. “i mean, i don’t mind sharing a room with you… we’ve..”

we’ve shared a room countless of times before.

megumi doesn’t have to continue his sentence for you to understand what he’s implying. you part your lips to speak, but nothing comes out except for a long, heavy sigh. your shoulders drop as you let the exhaustion seep into your bones. there’s no use arguing about it, not when you don't’ mind sharing a room with megumi, either.

“we’ve broken up,” you remind him in a quiet voice, like you’re afraid saying it out loud will make it truer than it already is.

megumi pauses. you see his adam’s apple bob as he swallows thickly. “i know that, but … it’ll be fine. we’ve shared a room as friends before.”

he’s right, like he usually is. you two have shared a room before as just friends, but that had been as teenagers—back when you both harbored such hardcore crushes on each other that you two somehow didn’t notice.

“right,” you find yourself agreeing with a small nod.

“you should go get ready for bed.” megumi begins grabbing a few or the decorative pillow off of the bed. he places them gingerly on the brown couch tucked in the corner of the hotel room. “we’ll be getting up pretty early to deal with the brunt of the mission.”

to finish this mission as quickly as possible, you think.

and so you oblige and head to the bathroom. it’s december 19th, just a few days shy of christmas day, and you’re in bed with your ex boyfriend on the couch just a few feet away.

december 20th greets you with megumi hovering over you. he peers down at you with his messy bangs covering his eyes. they’re piercingly blue as he blinks. his lashes flutter perfectly, even in the early morning. your eyes meet his and you jolt awake.

“good morning,” he says. “your alarm has been ringing for a bit now, so i turned it off.”

you blink rapidly, getting the tiredness out of your eyes. “oh.”

he chuckles softly, just enough for you to catch it with your ears. he rises from his crouched position and heads to the front door. he spares you a glance over his shoulder before he heads out, presumably giving you the privacy you need. you let out a strangled breath before you swing your legs over the bed and head to the bathroom.

by the time you’re finished putting on your uniform, you swing the door to your hotel room open and see megumi leaned up against the wall, tapping away on his phone. his dark blue eyes flicker up to you and he turns away to head down the hall.

you furrow your brows. you can’t help but think that he’s being a little cold to you. it isn’t like you initiated the breakup. despite your frustration with his behavior, you can sort of understand why he wouldn’t want to be sweet around you; you two aren’t dating anymore and so it makes sense that he’d go back to being aloof in your presence, the usual way he acts around everyone else. losing that position in his life makes your stomach churn for reasons you’re less than willing to uncover.

your mission is a vague one; all you know is that it’s a clean-up mission. rather than a level 1 curse (or even a special grade), the mission consists of an acclimation of weak curses surrounding shinjuku. these missions are normally given to younger, more inexperienced sorcerers with the help of a senior sorcerer, but for an odd reason, it’s been given to you and megumi this year. megumi could’ve probably handled it himself. actually, you could’ve handled it yourself.

you bite your tongue to hold back on your complaints as you walk just a step behind megumi. he pauses regularly, waiting for you to catch up to his side. you roll your eyes in secret. does he not realize that you don’t want to walk next to him?

“it’s all just bars,” you mutter.

with that, you earn a tiny laugh from megumi. “well, yeah. this is the red-light district of shinjuku.”

you pale. “this sucks.”

“why do you think i wanted to come out here in the morning rather than at night?” he says, his tone strangely light.

“to deal with the brunt of the mission,” you repeat his words from last night sarcastically. you’re unsure as to what he’s talking about, so you think that it’s okay to give him a little bit of attitude.

he raises his brow but doesn’t comment on your sarcasm. instead, he says softly, “no, stupid. it’s because this is the red-light district. it’s unsafe for anyone, especially a pretty, young girl alone at night.”

your first thought is to coo and tease him. you think i’m pretty? it takes you half a second to remember that you two are broken up. you scoff, “i’m perfectly capable of handling myself.”

“i never said you weren’t,” megumi shoots back. “it would just be annoying explaining to the higher ups why you were fighting people and not curses.”

“i’m sure they’d understand,” you retort, frowning. you cross your arms.

“don’t be so pouty,” he says in that stupid, gentle tone he uses with you when you’re acting bratty.

you both decide to split up. well, it’s more like you demand the two of you to split up. you say it under the pretense that it’ll get the job done faster. besides, you both want to be home before christmas day, right?

there’s about two curses you cross paths with every hour. you’re starting to lose your mind. shouldn’t the streets be infested with them? you don’t even need a veil! all you have to do is give the weak curses just one punch and they vaporize on the spot. your head is running with hundreds of thoughts.

that’s when it hits you: the first years at the tokyo jujutsu school did come out here a week prior! maybe they did a bad job? but you remember nobara had been the one to lead the group. she may half-ass almost everything in her life, but she wouldn’t jeopardize her underclassmen for the sake of her freetime.

so why on earth are you here? it’s not like there are enough harmful curses for a mission to be assigned to you right before christmas, and to you and megumi of all sorcerers. you’re both strong enough to the point of having some kind of importance in the jujutsu world. the higher ups wouldn’t send the two of you on some stupid mission for the sake of it unless they’re planning some sort of secret execution. but even then, satoru gojo should’ve known through their lies to not send you or megumi. unless…he wants you two dead…?

you shake your head and bite your nails. the sun begins to set and you realize that you’ve been out here for longer than you expected. you’re starting to feel a chill in your bones—you had argued petulantly with megumi earlier about not wanting to wear your jacket despite it being the dead of winter; “it’s gonna get in the way!”

you always seem to forget the the sun sets earlier in the winter. it’s stupid how bright all the lights are in shinjuku. there isn’t a square foot of anything that isn’t lit up with neon signs reading out the names of clubs and bars. you see couples and large groups of people walking along the streets.

it’s lonely, you realize. it would’ve been less lonely with megumi.

you make your way to the meeting spot with megumi. you both share a few small words before retiring for the night. megumi says he wants to go sightseeing, even though there’s really nothing much to see. he doesn’t return to the hotel room until late at night.

when he slips into the only bed that the room offers, you chalk it up to the slight alcohol you smell on his lips. it feels so natural that you don’t push him away even though you should. his body is warm and you fit so perfectly against his broad chest that you think it’ll be okay for you to be a little selfish tonight.

“g’night,” megumi mumbles in his sleep.

you smile and nuzzle closer.

it’s december 21st as you realize how late it is in the day. megumi is back on the couch. you feel a tinge of disappointment in the bottom of your stomach.

to no one’s surprise, the sun is barely peeking over the buildings when you’re finally back in the red-light district. you’re doing the last bit of cleanup, but there’s really nothing much for you to clean.

tomorrow, you’ll be heading to a shopping mall, so you suppose you should do your best to sniff out the rest of the curses littering the place unless you want to stay here an extra day. the day is, yet again, slow.

it’s nearing 8 PM and you're finally sure that you’ve gotten rid of all the curses in the general area. you’ve been done for quite a while now, but you just haven’t found the courage to let megumi know that you’re ready to go back to the hotel room. a little sightseeing on your end wouldn’t hurt, right?

“hi, pretty.” a gravelly voice, battered by cigarettes, whispers in your ear.

you jump in surprise. you need to remember not to get too far into your head. you should’ve felt his presence coming from a mile away. it’s a terrible habit and satoru has scolded you for years about it.

“hi,” you mutter, pushing past his larger frame.

the man isn’t as nicely built as the men you know (but then again, your friends are jujutsu sorcerers, so it’s kind of hard to beat that), but he still towers over you. he’s got a squad of rough-looking guys behind him, smirking down at you.

“why’s someone like you alone?” he says, shoving his arm to loop around your waist.

you roll your eyes, getting ready to punch the man square in the nose. will you get in trouble? probably yes. will it be a funny story to tell? also probably yes.

“don’t touch my wife.”

the group of men turn their heads along with you to see megumi. his expression is shrouded with a mixture of anger and frustration. you blink in confusion—megumi usually looks pretty pissed off, but this is the most angry you’ve seen him in a while. and ‘wife’? what’s up with that?

“oh, my bad,” the man chuckles. “didn’t know this pretty thing was married.”

“this ‘pretty thing’ wants you to let her go,” you say with an overly sweet smile. your teeth clench and you hiss, “right now.”

the guy scurries down the sidewalk with his buddies trailing along, making fun of him for hitting on a married woman. nobody mentions the lack of a ring on your finger. nobody mentions the lack of a relationship, either.

“wife?” you scowl. “we’re broken up.”

“guys tend to back up when they know a woman is married. it’s the only way you can really, uh, get them to go away around here.”

you glare at him. “and how would you know? you come here often with girls?”

“...no?” he blinks, unable to comprehend your sudden burst of jealousy. “i sometimes get missions around here, though. pretending to be married was the easiest way—”

“we aren’t, though. we’re not even in a relationship.” you seem to be throwing that into his face a lot more than you should. you can’t help it, though. you still feel a little bitter about not getting a real reason as to why megumi wanted to break up.

“i was trying to help you.” he’s calm and collected, as heard through his voice. he walks up to you and takes your freezing hand into his much warmer ones. “let’s go home.”

“i don’t want to,” you argue.

“stop being a brat,” he says, but there’s no bite to his words. “you’re cold and you’ve been out here all day. if i hadn’t stopped those guys, you probably would’ve beat them up pretty badly.”

“i’m not a fucking brat!” you try to retract your hand, but megumi’s grip only tightens.

“baby, stop,” the pet name rolls off his tongue with ease. megumi sighs softly and pulls you to his chest. “why are you so worked up, hm?”

from the way he speaks, you can tell that he already has an inkling. the breakup. cuddling last night. hugging you now. everything.

you don’t realize you’re crying until he gently wipes his thumb under your eye. he has the audacity to have an amused grin plastered on his stupidly pretty lips. your vision is blurry but if it hadn’t been, you would’ve thrown a punch.

“i’m sorry,” he whispers into your hair. “it’s all my fault.”

“it is,” you whimper pathetically. all the tears and the emotions you’ve been holding back bubble up to the surface.

“don’t be upset,” he almost pleads. “let’s go back, okay?”

the night ends with megumi on the couch. neither of you bring up the argument or the fact that he had slept in your bed with you last night. you two don’t talk about the usage of pet names, either.

when you open your eyes on december 22nd, you’re surprised to see that megumi has already headed out for the day. you click your tongue in annoyance—he’s always been good at avoiding his problems when it comes to dealing with them, especially problems involving his emotions. you already know where you’re supposed to be headed, so you suppose that it’s for the best that he’d left before you.

the shopping mall is a long line of vendors and stores among other things. the snow on the ground is fresh—it must’ve snowed late last night after you’d fallen asleep. it crunches underneath your beat-up sneakers with each step you take. you’re not shocked when you end up wandering aimlessly, dipping in and out of stores with no real urgency to finish your mission.

there’s nothing to do anyway.

you’ve killed about 3 curses total and it’s really starting to look like you’ve been sent out here for busy work. you really should’ve figured that out the first day of the mission when you had to practically beg the curses to come out and fight you.

you find yourself in the front of a jewelry store, eyeing a pretty bracelet that you know would look stunning around megumi’s wrist. it’s one of those bracelets that clasp tightly. there’s a thicker band in the center with pretty carvings that seem to resemble some sort of swirly heart. it’s pretty, you have to admit.

without much thought, you buy the gift.

the seller has to clear her throat to get your attention when you don’t answer her question. “um, would you like this to be wrapped?”

you nod absentmindedly. “oh, yes. sorry. please wrap it.”

she nods in return and proceeds to wrap the bracelet in a tiny box, adorning it with a festive bow. you ask her to change it out for a different color, explaining that it isn’t a christmas gift and instead, it’s for someone’s birthday. she offers you a warm smile before switching it with a muted blue ribbon.

you return to the hotel, having to take an expensive taxi. you don’t mind—the bracelet has already made a decent-sized dent in your wallet. why not spend an extra amount on getting home? it’s not like jujutsu sorcerers are paid poorly.

reality hits you when you finally get back to the hotel room. you want to punch yourself for being so stupid. did you really just buy a birthday present for your ex-boyfriend?

you’re thankful that megumi hasn’t arrived yet. he seems to be determined to avoid you for as long as he can. you can’t blame him, either. you did give him quite a hard time yesterday.

you toss the box on to the dresser and head to the bathroom to splash some much needed cold water on to your face. maybe that’ll wake you up enough to clear your mind. you’ve acted out once during this trip already and you’re not really looking forward to any other possible outbursts.

you rinse your face and pat yourself dry with one of the face towels provided to you by the hotel staff. you hang it over the rack again and tiredly make your way to your bed. you halt your movements when you see megumi standing by the dresser, admiring your gift.

he looks up at you in surprise with the smallest grin on his face. it’s so subtle that you would’ve missed it had you not been dating him for nearly two years.

“is this for me?”

“no,” you quickly deny. his face falls and you cough out, “um, i mean.. yeah. i-i didn’t… i… happy birthday.”

he brightens, lips pulling up into a real, genuine smile. “you remembered?”

“why wouldn’t i?” you blurt gently. you bite your inner cheek to stop yourself from saying anything more.

“i dunno.” his voice is distant and low, like he’s trying to hold back his tears. “i just…i didn’t think i was deserving of a gift from you. thank you. i like it.”

you stand awkwardly, shifting your weight onto your other foot. “yeah, well…”

“can you help me put it on?” he asks, sitting at the edge of your unmade bed.

you feel your body heat up. part of you screams for you to stop. you shouldn’t do that. it’s far too intimate and you two are broken up. you’ve never been good at making decisions, though, so you sit next to him and feel the mattress dip.

he gives you a grateful look, one that you willfully ignore, and gives you his wrist. you clasp the bracelet on, fingertips just barely grazing his skin. your heart skips a beat and you have to inhale sharply before pulling away.

“thank you,” he whispers.

december 23rd is a sore reminder that life goes on. you had half-expected something to spark between you and megumi. perhaps he’d beg for you back, or maybe with less wishful thinking, he’d give you his real reason as to why he doesn’t want you anymore.

“i don’t think we need to go anymore,” megumi says when you come out of the bathroom after freshening up.

“huh? why not?”

“there’s nothing out there.” megumi’s voice is flat.

“i know, but we’ll get in trouble if we…”

“gojo probably sent us out here for fun.”

your lips part. megumi turns to you with a slight frown.

“don’t you think so too?” he asks, but you know it isn’t a question he’s looking to find an answer to. “why would the higher-ups assign a mission like this to a special grade sorcerer and a grade 1 sorcerer? if they needed that much manpower, this mission would’ve been deadlier. instead, we’re playing cleanup crew.”

“yeah, but..” you trail off, unable to think of a statement to refute his words. “if we go back now, we’ll get chewed out.”

“it’s just a scolding. you’ll be fine.” megumi stands up and stretches his arms.

you watch him cautiously as he begins to fold his clothes and throw them into his duffel bag. he doesn’t say anything else, letting the silence overtake the room.

“...are we leaving, then?” you ask meekly, not bothering to hide the slight quiver in your voice.

he pauses slightly. “do you want to stay here until christmas? this mission is stupid and you know it. there’s no point.”

why is his tone so cold all of the sudden? it’s as if you two hadn’t shared a moment last night before bed. does your gift not mean anything to him now that he’s cleared his mind with a good rest?

your eyes flicker to his wrist. the gold glimmers underneath the light and you realize that megumi doesn’t seem to hate wearing it. so why is he acting so … unpleasant?

you feel a lump in your throat. it’s embarrassing how quickly he’s able to upset you from just the tone of his voice. even his body language, usually fluid and smooth, is rigid with your presence. you want to tell him that you’ve enjoyed your time with him. you want to shake his shoulders and tell him that if you two cut your mission short, you might not get another chance to be near him again.

“do you still care about me?” you whisper instead.

he stills completely. “what?”

“this entire time,” you begin shakily, “you’ve been nice to me. you treat me like you always do. you’re always hovering over me even though you pretend you aren’t! you obviously still care, megumi.”

his adam's apple bobs as swallows. a beat of silence. then two. then three.

“i do care,” he admits sorely.

“then why did you break up with me?” you blurt. there it is, the question you’ve been meaning to ask. you both had seen it coming.

“because…” megumi winces as if he’s the one getting hurt from the ordeal. “because you deserve someone that’s normal. someone that isn’t a sorcerer. i can’t give you that life.”

you feel your chest swarm with anger. why does he always think he needs to sabotage himself to make others happy? this is something you’ve tried working with him on, but it seems like old habits are hard to kill off, just like your habit of loving him.

“why the hell would you decide that for me? when did i ever say i wanted a normal life?” you snap. your hands clench at your sides.

“it’s too early for this,” he says, his voice straining as he finally musters up the strength to look at you in your eyes.

“tell me, megumi. if that’s the real reason, then that is the most pathetic excuse for a breakup i've ever heard.” your voice cracks and you gulp down the oncoming sob that’s threatening to explode from your throat.

he inhales slowly and makes his way to you, holding you close against his chest. you should push him away, but you would rather let him hug you. you know that you can’t fight him, anyway.

“you…once said you wanted a regular relationship. when you got hurt a few weeks ago, i realized i couldn’t be that for you,” he confesses lowly. “i knew that you’d never find it in yourself to leave, so i figured i should just let you go for your sa–”

“are you kidding me?” you shout incredulously. “i said that when i was fifteen, megumi! before i even knew what being in love was like!”

he flinches against you. “but i…”

“you and your damn savior complex! i don’t need to be in a regular, normal relationship! i don’t need any of that, megumi! i’m a sorcerer, I won't ever get to be normal! in fact, it’s even better that i’m with you because you at least know what this life is like, you idiot! you’re always ruining the good things in your life because you—”

he takes his fingers to grab your chin and he pulls you in for a kiss. if the kiss is a ploy to shut you up, you hate to admit that it’s working. his tongue slips into your mouth and you melt against him. your arms loop around his neck as you desperately drag him down closer to your body. his hand grip your waist while the other clings to the small of your back.

you whimper out of instinct and he pulls away, lips bruised and breathless. it’s been so long since you’ve tasted him and you frown, tiptoeing to capture his lips again. you need to savor him, to feel him lips against yours again.

“baby, wait.” his chest heaves as he looks down at you. “don’t…don’t do this to me.”

“do what?” you ask, an edge to your voice. did he just reject you? even after all that?

“w-we gotta report back to—”

“we’re supposed to leave tomorrow,” you interrupt.

the gears shift in his head. “fine, but—”

“i’m still really fucking mad, but i just need you to kiss me right now,” you whine impatiently.

all megumi does is laugh when he swoops down to press his lips against yours.

it’s december 24th when you two find yourselves in satoru’s office. steam is practically rising from your ears as you try to compose yourself in front of your former teacher.

“... i wanted a wedding invitation.” satoru shrugs.

“you set us up!” you whine angrily. “gojo, are you serious?! isn’t this a little immature?”

megumi stays silent, averting his gaze. he suddenly finds the succulents on satoru’s desk very interesting. he’s never noticed that they’re all nearly dead! how cool.

your eyes shoot daggers at megumi's silence.

"we aren't gonna get married any time soon..." megumi mutters when he feels your pointy glare on him.

satoru raises his hands in mock surrender. “you two can’t blame me! it worked out! you two are back together now, right?”

“but did you have to make us look like fools out there?” you groan.

“you should’ve figured it out on the first day that the mission was a sham!” satoru exclaims, offense taking over his features.

“but still!” you’re borderline hysterical at this point, unable to believe that your former teacher of all people had to set up an entire fake mission so that you and your ex could talk your feelings out. “we would’ve figured ourselves out sooner or later!”

megumi nods. he feels like he should at least give you a little support even if he’s embarrassed out of his mind.

“oh really?” satoru’s voice drips with sarcasm. “you guys should be thanking me—”

“you’re so not getting an invitation to our wedding!” you grumble.

“wha—hey! i’m the one that got you two back together! besides, i’m megumi’s guardian! you can’t just not invite me.”

“watch me!”

“megumi, tell her that she can’t do that—hey! where are you guys going? invite me, you rascals—why are you guys leaving? we aren’t done discussing this! megumi, don’t you dare take her side! she isn’t even your wife yet—don’t slam my door!”

#jjk x reader #jjk x you #megumi x reader #megumi fushiguro #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen #megumi x you #fushiguro megumi x reader #jjk megumi #megumi fluff #not my best work tbh

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nordarknessdimsthesky · 1 year ago

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A linguistic analysis of tumblr hyperbole in the tags

This post expands my previous analysis of hyperbolic reactions to cluster tags by themes. There were too many themes, some of them overlapping, to create a cohesive graph. Instead, I present several overarching themes from a data set of 50 tags observed and documented in various corners of tumblr.

1. Feeling Normal™️

Tags within this cluster profess Normal feelings (read: extreme excitement, enthusiasm, obsession, derangement, etc.).

#mmmmrrrghuhhhhghhh #I'm so normal about it teehee #absolutely not rending my clothing #feeling very normal and not feral at all #i will simply never recover #gif sets sent to personally destroy me #i can't cope #the eyes #i'm a puddle #i am INCONSOLABLE #i am DISTRAUGHT #IM NOT OKKAAAAAAYYYYYY #FEELING TOTALLY ONE HUNDRED PERCENT NORMAL

2. Feralness

The following data points conjure animalistic behavior. There’s a non-zero amount of biting and chewing involved.

#chomping biting barking #biting my arms off #rattling my cage #[incoherent biting noises] #chewing glass #chewing through wood #*shaking the bars of my enclosure* HELLO!!!!!!!! #climbing the walls #biting gnawing chewing #im gonna rip off my front door and eat it

3. Noisy Emotional Outbursts

These tags encompass crying, screaming, yelling, and other loud reactions.

# shaking sobbing crying #SCREAMIIIING BANGING MY HEAD ON THE WALL #*no thoughts only wailing* #i am SOBBING #IM CRYING LIKE A BITCH #*just fucking yelling* #S C R E A M #screeching into a pillow #brb sobbing for 5-7 business years

4. Throwing

All of these tags except the last one involve being thrown instead of throwing things. I, personally, am entertained by the range of places/situations people are throwing themselves into.

#i am going to THROW MYSELF into the SEA #hurl me into the sea #hurl me into the sun #trebuchet me into the sun #hurl me straight at europa #vent me out of an airlock #slam me against a wall #put me in a box and throw me down the stairs #throwing myself into traffic you know? #just defenestrate me already #defenestrate me #absolutely hurl me through plate glass #i'm going to start tossing furniture

5. Bodily Harm

There’s a good deal of overlap with the previous theme. Nearly all of the tags involving throwing would result in varying degrees of bodily harm. Here are the tags outside of the Throwing subgroup.

#im going to throw upppppp #tearing my hair out #banging my head against the wall #SCREAMIIIING BANGING MY HEAD ON THE WALL #biting my arms off #microwaving myself #crumple me up and microwave me

6. Absurdism

My personal favorite cluster. The imagery conjured and resulting comedic hyperbole is just [chef’s kiss].

#im gonna rip off my front door and eat it #crumple me up and microwave me #put me in a box and throw me down the stairs #defenestrate me #absolutely hurl me through plate glass

7. Keysmashes

These tags center less around meaning and more around style, so they form the last group. A handful of these could fall under Noisy Emotional Outbursts because they represent reaction noises. In my linguistic judgment, keysmashing increases the hyperbole – consider augh versus aughfhghghghhh – the latter reads as prolonged and more intense emotionally.

#aghdjakgsjadhjaka * #hrhrhrhgnnnghhhhh #aughfhghghghhh #mmmmrrrghuhhhhghhh #I'm so normal about it teehee #waughfhghghh #oughhhhghghhh

*one digression in a friend discord server was how people interpret keysmashes in their minds. Some hear the first couple letters and then some sputtering, others hear static. It’s a common joke that you need a minor in linguistics to understand conversations in this friend group. Such is the nature of things when the chaos linguist energy is strong.

#internet linguistics #tumblr linguistics #tumblr dialect #hyperbole #linguistics #tumblr #speaking and musing #the chaos linguist speaks

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lgbtlunaverse · 1 year ago

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I think one aspect of Nie Mingjue that is critically overlooked in fandom is that he failed.

What I mean is that I think it's strongly implied that a significant part of Nie Mingjue's moral rigidity and his tendency to universally fall back on his principles instead of trying to see the unique context of a new situation is that he is strongly aware that at some point his sense of judgement will be greatly impaired due to the saber curse, and he hopes that a strong rule-based morality system that he sticks to at all times-- ignoring any specfic feelings or doubts that may arise-- will help mitigate the damage when that happens. If he's trained himself to ignore his instincts and stick to the rules, he can continue doing the right thing even after he emotionally can no longer tell what the right thing is!

And it fails! Miserably! He essentially tried to destroy his ancestral curse with Facts and Logic and it didn't work! And he doesn't even realize that it's no longer working because surprise surprise: the curse that severely affects your sense of judgement also ruins your ability to gauge whether you're still standing by those rules you made up for yourself.

And the system was flawed from the get-go, because there is no such thing as a set of moral rules that are so universally applicable you'll never have to make unclear decision in edge-cases or re-evalutate the rules themselves based on new information-- a thing this system won't let him do because What If That's The Curse Talking? (nmj is basically a walking version of the slippery slope fallacy. Any small change is bad because it will lead to eventual catastrophy)-- and also because facts unfortunately do in fact care about your feelings and your attempt to be objective and unclouded by your emotions is still going to be subjective and informed by your own views, which is why Nie Mingjue's moral code has a core tentant that says self-sacrifice is not only Good but Mandatory and wanting to live is Bad, actually.

But even if the rules had somehow been perfect it would still, in the end, have failed. Right as the moment Nie Mingjue made that whole fucking system for arrives, it becomes useless. It's honestly really dark and tragic and deeply fascinating because of that.

Any fix-it that includes Nie Mingjue recovering from late stage saber poisoning should include him being absolutely horrified. Not just in the generic "oh my god I'm so sorry I hurt you" way, but in the sense that the thing he has committed to to the utmost degree since he was a child failed completely and instantly without him even noticing. Dedicated most of his life to it and it didn't matter at all. That's gonna fuck with a guy's head.

#it's not just a re-evaluation of what you thought was wrong or right but rebuilding your entire worldview from scratch #mdzs #nie mingjue #mdzs meta #like!! holy shit!! isn't it fucking tragic? isn't it compelling? it doesn't matter how hard you tried you were set up for failure #doomed from the start in even more ways than you thought #like nie mingjue had made peace with the fact that he was always gonna die but the idea that he was unavoidably going to hurt people?#worse. so much worse #Doesn't matter that you'll break before you bend if you were born with a crook in you

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posttexasstressdisorder · 2 months ago

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Where we go from here...

It took me awhile last evening to get my mind in the right place to do the baking I had to do. I thought I would put on some music on my little radio station to kick my head into work mode. Tried some Glenn Gould playing Bach (always a go-to for morning coffee music), and it didn't hit right.

So I dialed up the huge mix I have titled "1969-72" and almost immediately started the long road back to feeling like myself. After about a half-hour, I was in the groove. Listened to the mix far into the night, after I'd finished working.

I managed to keep my focus and got the cookies all baked, and kiddo's mom happily packed them up and just left for her party, and I'm over here for the next couple of nights, sadly for my back. Two nights of "No Mattress For Old Men" and I'll need a week to recover, but hey...

Wanna thank all y'all for your comments and messages when I posted that I was prolly just gonna go black. Y'all loved me back off the ledge. Posted in a moment of true despair...something I haven't felt in awhile. I am hurting for all of us...and all of you. I have never in my long life been scared for the nation until now. Or at least that's what I thought. This feeling of complete despair, the emotional pain of millions of people, the hopelessness, the fear for the future...after I sat with it awhile I realized yes, that I have felt this same combination of toxic shit before.

In the 65 years I've been on this stinkin' rock, I've been through a number of particularly devastating previous elections, most notably the two Bush2(Dumbya) regimes. I remember the night of the 2004 election...Americans were posting tearful photos taken by their webcams, with them holding up signs saying "We're sorry."

I saw first-hand all the fights for rights that we have gained from the early '60s onward. To find ourselves set back to square one, 50-60 years later, when we had finally gained some footing toward fairness, is cruel. And cruelty is what they will wield as their main weapons in the coming days, as we suddenly find ourselves in the same predicament as 1963-65 when a virginal Joan Baez and little Bobby Dylan changed protest music forever.

So yes, I have felt this same way, and no, the nation didn't die or descend into complete chaos. Our lives went on, essentially as they had, with a growing pile of "things we can't do anymore" heaped atop via the collective wounding of 9/11.

This is another collective wounding--an intentional collective wounding. The next few months are going to be chaotic, they will try to push through their agenda as quickly as possible come january.

I may not post much overtly political stuff from this point on, but if I do it will be refocused on positive news. I don't know for certain how long that might last, but I can't take a 24/7 barrage of bad news and outrage bait. I'm probably gonna unfollow a few blogs, but don't think it's personal...it is Mental/Emotional Health Care.

And yes, I've been in the trenches with y'all a long time...we are all Family at this point...Brothers and Sisters in arms. I'm not leaving, but my presence/role will be different, out of the renewed sense of self-preservation this has thrust me into.

I woke up disoriented, but quickly remembered I'd gotten what I needed to get done done, and had a slow re-entry, sipping my coffee for a couple hours. I kept remembering how well the music had helped me last night, and then the beginnings of what this might turn into began to coalesce. Concepts of a plan. lulz.

As the day went on, I've been on a roller-coaster, emotionally, with seemingly hopeful leads on a roommate not materializing, on top of my craigslist ad for a roomie getting flagged and deleted. Pretty goddamn hopeless as far as this situation is going.

Looked at the huge box of cookies I'd managed to bake last night and it hit me. I've been reblogging the "Gooood Morning, TUMBLR!" graphics every morning up until the election. The image of Robin Williams being in character calling up the role of the military DJ.

Back when I did my cafe in the mountains of NM, a friend lent me a book called "Radio Venceramos", about South American rebels who had a radio transmitter and clamped the leads to the barbed-wire fences to broadcast their signal/programming to their fellow rebels.

Still not sure how the format will work out, but I've decided: my new role is going to primarily be the voice of inspiration over the air-waves to my fellow rebels. Not sure if it will be a second blog or if it will be a continuation of PTSD, but with no further ado, I will become the Voice of my fellow rebels with:

I may make a second blog out of it, but until then I guess I'll make it a series of posts. Tumblr will let you blog up to ten videos/post, and that may be how I start things out. Consider them like stacks of 45s and LP tracks from my paul-shaffer-brain...meant to help keep spirits up and keep the focus.

Made a couple of graphics, will probably try others in the course of it.

So the message today was "You did what you had to do. Heal up for what's ahead."

I will probably start this new focus in the morning...I'm still chewin'.

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 11 months ago

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WIBTA if i reach out to an abusive ex about a potential stalker of theirs?

so, this is gonna be hard to talk about. i'm scared they'll see it, and i am still not fully recovered. i am sorry for any weird wording or misspelling.

i split with my ex 4 years ago and will refer to them as L. they were emotionally abusive and manipulative to me. it was genuinely one of the worst things i went through.

about a year after splitting, suddenly in a span of a few months, 3 separate people ended up talking to me about what L did to them too. i got really nervous and then found that they were selling a character of theirs, including old ship art i made for us. this is the part where i know i messed up, because i got really upset and spoke to my L again to say to never let this happen again and get therapy and to not sell that art along with the characters. i really shouldn't have, i said things i regret, and i recognize that part. i am the asshole there. it didn't go well and they essentially pulled the definition of DARVO on me and ended with a mutual block. i have not contacted them since and i tried to maintain my distance.

in 2023, i was on a social media website for a niche fandom that shows you who views your profile. i found someone whose posts i liked on there, saw they had a partner with the same anniversary date as my current partner and i, just in 2023 instead of 2020 like my partner and i. and i was like, ah shit, that's pretty cool! and i checked out the profile of said person's partner, and it was L. they both promptly blocked me, then unblocked me again a few days later. that was when i saw that L's partner was vaguing me and saying that i had been stalking them (the partner, not L) and telling them to split with L for a long time. i want to be clear, i only saw this because i so much so did not have any clue who this was that i clicked on their profile again because i forgot already who they were. i still have no idea who they are, i have never spoken to them. i want so badly to stress that i wanted to be as far removed from this as i could, and i had been for 2 years.

now is where i am conflicted. i know L could be lying to them. they talked a lot of shit of prior partners to me too, and according to those who reached out to me, apparently told a lot of lies. but part of me wonders if that really did happen, and it was someone else, and linked to why suddenly so many people came to me before in 2021? like, all the lies i had been told they told were nothing like this. this is really an impressive lie to be spinning. honestly, i still have always hoped someday they will be better. i genuinely want that and i want to believe there's good in them that will prevail. i've been told i give people too many chances.

i feel like i should leave this be, but part of me is still hoping, somewhere, that the good person i used to see if still there and deserves to know that a) it wasn't me and b) they might have a stalker of sorts? i really don't know. the thought of talking to them again is genuinely terrifying, but if that is true, i guess i feel like they do deserve to know.

so, WIBTA if i reach out about this?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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cal-daisies-and-briars · 4 months ago

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☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

Okay giving you a bit less than 171 because I am almost done this and a few more people have asks for it so I'm trying to spread the love <3

---

Date: August 10th, 2024

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Fire Captain Story

Gerrard,

Okay. I’ll bite. Tell me about your captain story. Should we set up time for a call?

Best,

Rex

The next two emails are them setting up time for a call. It looks to have happened mid-August, if it happened at all. So, there could very well be a reporter out there with a lot of dirt on Bobby. Athena is so mad her teeth might crack from the tension in her jaw.

Then it gets interesting.

Still horrific. But interesting.

Date: August 13th

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Position at 118

Simpson,

I’ve thought a lot about our conversation the other day. I understand that you take the word of my subordinates here at the 118 as meaningful, given their perceived heroics and status in the LAFD. I’d want to keep them happy, too. Even if, like you said, Wilson doesn’t know her damn place.

So I get why you think transitioning Nash back is for the best. Really, I do. Easier to do the thing that appeases the brats than is for the good of the Department, overall. Right? Kind of like when your predecessor Alonzo took Nash back in the first place, after that bombing situation. I see why it was done. But it was wrong.

I’m gonna make it simple. You can bring Nash back. I’ll walk away. But I have a call scheduled with a reporter at a sizeable paper. He’s interested in the story of the medal-winning fire captain with a history of arson. A history the city knew about and let slide.

Or you can let me keep my old station. Find something else for Nash. Hell, transfer Wilson and her gaggle of girlfriends out of here. I don’t care. And the Department doesn’t have to look bad publicly.

All due regards,

Vince

So that’s why he was going after Bobby. Blackmail. It doesn’t look like Simpson replied to this email. Athena understands. It was probably a call or a meeting. If she were Simpson, she’d want to say things off the record, too.

Well, this was over a month ago. Clearly he got his way. Why kill him? Not that Athena wouldn’t like to strangle him herself right now. She would. But why actually go through with it? The story never got published. In their mind, was just him knowing and being willing enough? Because plenty of people who aren’t chummy with Bobby know.

She keeps reading.

Date: August 19th, 2024

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Fire Captain Story

Hi Vince,

Thanks again for our call yesterday.

After some reflection and speaking with the boss, I don’t think we’ll be pursuing this story. Doesn’t feel right to dump on a recovering alcoholic, you know? Not like the guy was malicious or predatory. That’s more what we focus on here. Fire thing is sad but that’s mostly just it. Sad.

Anyway, good luck with the job.

Best,

Rex

So, he got his way with the chief… But not from the paper. Athena thinks about this. Despite getting what he wanted technically, it sounds like no one was giving Gerrard what he wanted emotionally. To feel like a better captain than Bobby. More validated in having the 118. The station he lost, because - in his sick mind - of Hen. Someone who respected Bobby, but not him. What would having Simpson’s disdain and the rejection of all the papers do?

It would probably make him pretty angry.

And angry at who? Everyone, really. Simpson, Hen, Rex, Taylor Kelly. But beyond that? The person who seemed to get all the praise, when Gerrard just couldn’t find any respect at all.

Bobby.

#daisies and briars writes

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agenderpunked · 1 month ago

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just finished lost. will not be recovering, ever, me thinks...

I'M GONNA RAMBLE BECAUSE WHAT WAS THAAAAT OUUUUUGH I DIDN'T SEE ANY OTHER WAY FOR IT ALL TO END BUT THE FACT THAT IT *IS* WHAT THEY WENT WITH hURTS

I have so many thoughts and many of them are spoilers so if you haven't watched Lost (2004) stop reading this and go watch it instead.

- Jack dying in the same place he started. The cinematography and spiritual implications of making a trek back to the beginning and finally closing his eyes... DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON VINCENT LYING DOWN NEXT TO HIM I CRIIIIIIIIIIIED. THE DOG KNOWS "LIVE TOGETHER OR DIE ALONE" AND HE MAKES SURE JACK DOESN'T DIE ALONE IM IN SHAMBLESSSSS DONT TALK TO ME

- rose and bernard. i care you so bad. i want a bob ross energy survival show spin off that just follows them making their cabin and garden and traps and such and exploring the area around their cabin. Unproblematic favs, truly. THE FACT NO ONE BELIEVED ROSE WHEN SHE SAID SHE KNEW HER HUSBAND WAS ALIVE???? who visited you and told you that? are you just that faithful??? Did that hope, faith, and love protect both of you from dying on the island before you found each other??

BC ALSO. sorry but i view faith as energy, and when you focus and devote that energy to something it becomes concentrated, and what do our brains run on? electricity. what is everything about Lost about? electromagnetism. What can spirits fuck with? electromagnetic frequencies. That energy can be used to attract what you're searching for. Rose is such a necessary character ESPECIALLY for Jack's development because of how she displays such radical acceptance when she knows there are things she cannot change, ie. cancer, being trapped on the island, being surrounded by danger, and focuses instead on what she can, confirming her husband's status, creating an environment that feels safe, and enjoying the time she has left with the people she loves.

- Boone and Shannon getting into a bar fight at the end??? Boone walking up to Hurley and chatting??? Boone and Shannon are severely underrated characters in my opinion, and it's 100% from the emotionally incestuous aspects of them, which is a shame because I truly believe they are one of the most realistic depictions of relationships like that that I've seen in media. I didn't immediately like Boone. I thought he was an asshole because the show presents Shannon and Boone to you as they would an unhappy romantic relationship, but they never confirm it, even joke about it, to the point I nearly immediately realized 'They're not dating at all. They're siblings that were emotionally neglected by their parents and are codependent as all hell.'

Watching further, I was so scared to think I'd find Boone slander all up and down in the fandom while Shannon gets victimized and absolved of her fucked up actions, because of the way we immediately see Boone treat her without the context for understanding their relationship and that Boone was only on 815 to bail her out of another abusive relationship. But what I actually got from the fandom was NOTHING. ABOUT EITHER OF THEM!!!!

HOW ARE WE NOT TALKING ABOUT BOONE HALLUCINATING SHANNONS DEATH AND ADMITTING THAT HE WAS UTTERLY RELIEVED 😭😭😭 IM GONNA BLOW MYSELF UP ABOUT IT GOOD GOD.

The fact that Shannon also does find a potentially healthy relationship with Sayid, and that Sayid can allow himself to feel and care for someone and have gentle and tender moments in such a hostile environment while serving as the groups main mercenary, and make her feel safe, regardless of her clearly morally skewed history of dating. Sayid has morals, and he wants to stick to them, but he's been put in environments that do not allow him to adhere to that. He has restraint, and emotional intelligence. The glimpse we get into Shannon's life shows she hasn't been around men of those qualities, at least recently, save for Boone, who even then, doesn't compare next to Sayid. Imagining how Shannon would have felt about Sayid being brought back in the temple and seeing how extremely empty and different he is 😟

- Thinking about the general implications of what the island is, as well... Did they ever survive the initial crash? When they leave the island, were they alive? or was it merely an illusion of life? Is death on the island equivalent to someone accepting that they're dead and moving on for realsies? Is the island symbolizing purgatory? The themes of duality and shadows and light and twins are also not lost on me and rank this media even higher because these were not on my bingo card or prior knowledge of the show and they are damn near a critical criteria for intriguing me and getting me into a media.

Are the souls whispering in the forest of the island trapped there? Michael says they can't move on, but is it a personal choice grappling with what they did? Or is it related to actions done after death, while passing through purgatory, that decides whether you are bound to a place or able to move freely???

Oooooooough.....

#lost 2004 #sayid jarrah #boone carlyle #shannon rutherford #jack shephard #bernard nadler #rose henderson nadler

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banduckoot · 10 months ago

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We had proposal and wedding headcanons, now it's time for the next step. Can we get some headcanons of the N Team as fathers?

You sent me this ask three years ago, and now I'm finally gonna answer it, whether you like it or not!

Dr. Neo Cortex:

Cortex would be a very loving father... who unfortunately has trouble expressing that love in a healthy manner, and has abusive means of discipline at his disposal, both due to how he was raised. Like, he cares about his children immensely, and will even spoil them with presents, but you'll rarely hear him say "I love you" or "I'm so proud of you". Usually he only says those things when he's feeling particularly emotional. He loves his children because he made them himself. They are his greatest creations... unfortunately he sees them as extensions of himself rather than their own people. So heaven forbid one of his kids turns their back on him for disciplining them too hard... or trying to give them a sad backstory that makes them turn evil like him... or some other twist of fate... he will consider it an act of betrayal and disown that child, and try to replace them with someone else. But that's just because he can't handle the heartbreak of knowing he screwed up, and he will miss that child every damn day of his life, no matter how much he denies it.

Dr. Nitrus Brio:

N. Brio never really thought about having kids, but considering how many mutants he created and helped care for (and he even helped care for Nina for a little while too), he already feels like a parent even before having one of his own. In other words, he'd be a natural at it. Would he be perfect at it? Oh god, no. N. Brio has so many issues from dealing with Cortex that likely still aren't resolved, and he's going to inflict those issues onto his little one. N. Brio's partner would have to come in and prevent this. But otherwise, N. Brio would be a good caretaker who'd be quite proud of his spawn. Though if Cortex also has a kid, N. Brio is absolutely going to try and make his child bully/humiliate them, as an act of revenge against Cortex. His partner should NOT let him do this and, instead, force N. Brio to attend therapy.

Dr. N. Gin:

N. Gin would be the most well-adjusted parent on the N. Team. He would actively support them and their interests, 1000%. He'd love them unconditionally and never hurt them intentionally. However, sometimes parenting stresses him out, and since he's prone to migraines from his missile, he needs to take breaks and let his partner take over while he recovers. I... have no other thoughts about N. Gin as a parent. Sorry this was so short.

Dr. Nefarious Tropy:

N. Tropy does not care for children. Not even a little bit. He used to be a child, and he hated it. He has dealt with other children growing up, and he hated them, too. However, if his partner wanted a child, he would absolutely have one with them, and he would love that child. He would be somewhat emotionally distant, because he has no real paternal instinct, but he would still make an effort to be there for his offspring and support them to the best of his ability. However, if that kid ends up becoming anywhere near as narcissistic as their dad, Tropy may have a new rival on his hands, and needless to say, he will not like that.

#crash bandicoot #dr neo cortex #n brio #n gin #n tropy #headcanons #n gin is the real only good dad here #i'm sorry to say #sorry it took three fucking years

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garrettandoscargirlsblog · 10 months ago

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How Benny Became a Boxer Pt2

Summary: Finally! Finished this fic after being inspired by a post about Miller brothers fighting. Thought i should do a part 2. It deals with affairs of the heart. Will giving advice. Enjoy!!

Benny looks at you from afar. Thinking about how emotional the situation was hours ago. To him learning to box it's not just for him. Okay, mostly it was. Needs to be the one to defend your honor when Will leaves for the Army. Which is two years away. Go over to the bench to fetch the tape for your hands. Took your small hand into his large one,” Now watch me do this. Gonna take practice to do this. Not putting gloves on just yet though. Then flex them to make sure it's snug. Got it?” Looking up at him was a sight. Beautiful blue eyes that sparkle like the water on a cool day. Blond hair that covers his eyes which he puts it in a bun. Even though he is still skinny,but he has started to get some muscle . So handsome. To you ? It Feels so plain compared to Benny. Just a tomboy . Don't like girly attire. Jeans and tees that's it! Both fist bumps . Follow by circling each other . Benny does his best to keep up the pace. Then it dawned on him. Wait! Need to teach the basics first. Hits his fist,” first thing first . Hit my hand with all the power ya have. A’nt gonna hurt me. Promise little bit.” Punches his palm again,” Hit it like ya mean it! Think it's either the hussy or the jerk’s face.” Pulled your fist out with force you had in your small frame. Punched his hand so hard that caused Benny to be pushed back a bit. At that moment he knew. His best friend had so much pent up anger . Thinking this is a good outlet for not just him,but you too.

The lesson continues till the porch light comes on from his house. Signals for him to get inside. Also it wasn't hardly any light in the barn. Since Benny turned on the small lamp for camping. Both of you sat on the edge of the ring recovering from the lesson. Took a big gulp of water. You sighed,” Thanks for the lesson Benny . Needed that. Never thought I had all of… ya know.” Sitting close to you. Practically shoulder. Not aware of the closeness to you. Till something clicked . Something rather a feeling he never felt before. Meaning he might be falling in love with you. How he wanted to test out that theory till Will entered the barn. Alone. Looking rather upset. Benny gets up,” Oh oh bro what happened?” Taking a deep breath,” All I can say is… I should have listened to you Little Bit. You were right. She used me! For what! Just to make a teammate jealous. Was so fucking..” that's when he started to punch the punching bag near the wall. Oh how you hated to see your friend hurting. Thought about how you,and Will argued about dating your now former best friend. Got so bad that you and him hardly spoke. Took a deep breath, going over to him,” I'm sorry that happened. You're too good of a guy to endure that. We were so blinded by what we thought was love. So.. how about we hang out some more.”

Soon the boys got ready for bed. Benny had something on his mind. Only person to talk to. Okay, might be too soon. Got to take a chance. Knocks,” is it safe to enter? “ Putting his book down,” it's okay bro I'm calm honest.” Benny turns a chair backwards as he sits down,” Look bro gonna cut to the chase. Think.. I might be in love with Little Bit. Can't shake it ya know. Like.. we are destined to be together. Think it started when I was defending her honor,and shit “ Putting his book aside leaning against the headboard .Will absorbed the information he heard. Not wanna come out and say that he could tell there was something special between both of you. Benny drops everything to save you from what you were dealing with. Taking a breath,” I can tell man. Friendship like that leads to something special. Don't rush it okay? Don't want ya to get emotionally hurt. “ Oh Benny, to hear that from his brother put a damper on his mood. Place his chin on the back of the chair,” This feelin might not fade man. “ Benny walks out of the room. Taking a deep breath,” should have waited to tell that to him. Dumb move Benny”

Present day:

After the session with the punching bag. Three of you went out to the local diner. Three of you go to a lot. Ordering the usual. Cheeseburger and chili fries. Benny went outside to chat with Frankie about when his next fight will be. Meanwhile inside the two of you sat quietly. Until Will breaks the ice by stealing a few fries from your basket,” I can see it in your eyes little bit. Have something on your mind. Can tell me. You miss Santiago right? “ Took a bite of your burger looking around to see if Benny was around. Taking a breath,” I miss him so much. Although… I think I'm in love with him and Benny. Have been for a while. Never really told them. Came close a few times. chickened out! Don't know what to do!” Will heard his brother tell him the same thing from a teenage Benny. Wishing he gave him some advice then, Benny would have avoided the series of distasteful relationships in his younger life. Now.. his friend needs advice about the affairs of the heat again. Like he was at that time . This time he is gonna give you the advice he should have given his brother,” Don't wait darlin. Tell them how you feel. Who knows? They might surprise you.” From the distance. Benny heard the sweetest thing. You love him.

Year or so later:

The gym was now closed. Oh the quiet. What a lovely sound right now.After the people left,and all the clean up finished. All left to do is go upstairs and lay on the soft couch while your boys handle the paperwork. Eyes closed having a good dream till you feel a familiar pair of hands rubbing your back while head on his lap,” Whatcha thinkin about baby girl? Hope it's about me. “ Taking in his sweet ,and sweaty scent of his body. Thinking about how happy you are right now. Everything you wanted is right here,” Yeah, thinkin about the first time ya learned how to box. How we bonded after that horrible day. How I thought you were becoming quite handsome. I.. thought I was beginning to fall for you BennyBear. Thought if I were to tell ya. Might laugh at me “ Benny was lost for words . You felt the same way! Shit! To hear that now made his heart flutter. To think! You felt the same way back then too. Pushes your hair away from your face ever so gently,” Oh baby girl we held onto those feelings for so long. That night I told Will about my feelings. Which was bad timing on my part. Now here we are. Being with you,and who would thought ill be sharing ya with Pope. So … how about I stay with ya till the others are finished with the paperwork.” Thinking that even back then he knew the two of you would be together. Didn't want to tell him that night. Santi stands beside his friend,” Beautiful site. To think you were the one who taught him how to box. “ Smiling at the thought,” Taught him everything I knew. Owe it to my cousin, Jay.”

#triple frontier #benny miller x reader #never letting you go #garett hedlund #charlie hunnam #charlie hunman

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chaifootsteps · 11 months ago

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Anon who asked to send you redesigns. I'm sorry I never ended up doing it, I got really anxious and scared of the Vivziepop radical defenders. I just want to recover this show and these characters who, at one point, meant so much to me. One of my biggest fears is people going after me cause in my rewrite, I'm planning to have Charlie break up with Vaggie and I know people are gonna claim 'lesbian phobic' even though the whole reason for the break up is that I think Vaggie is not emotionally in a good place, neither are compatible, and Waggie without any development is extremely toxic for Charlie and the hotel. It's kinda like how Al kicks mimzie out for deliberately bringing danger to the hotel, Charlie has to kick Vaggie out for constantly threatening guests and actively scaring away potential guests. I still plan to have Vaggie grow from that though, and have a new girlfriend AMD still be close friends with Charlie. But I know Vivs radical defenders media literacy is 6 feet in the ground as it is. Not helped by the fact I plan for Charlie to end up in a poly relationship, that does not included Vaggie at any point once they break up. I want to put a focus on why Vaggie is so toxic as she is, but also that these are toxic TRAITS and that she CAN work through them. But not with Charlie. Not when she rationalized everything she does with defending Charlie and idolizing Charlie and acting more like she sees Charlie as an object of perfection than an actual person.

No worries, Anon. This was heartbreaking, fandom should be fun and not a game of walking on eggshells to avoid harassment, and your rewrite sounds wonderful. Flawed characters and poly relationships for the win.

I hope you get to rewrite this entire train wreck to your heart's full desire!

#Anonymous #viv stuff #actual blog post

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hello-nichya-here · 3 months ago

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Zucest - Age Regression

Notanon asked: So, given that:

1) you already had them playing house,

2) Azula is the spoiled brat, but also the more emotionally and psychologically vulnerable,

3) I have a guilty pleasure for loving and doting Zuzu taking care of scared, broken and vulnerable Lala:

I now have this post Agni-Kai headcanon, where Azula remains catatonic for a couple of days after her defeat and then suffers a psychological age regression: She curls up in a ball crying and saying in a small voice she is scared and she wants mommy and daddy and Zuzu. At first neither Zuko nor the doctors can understand what's going on, until one of the doctors has the proverbial lightbulb go off in his head and asks her how old she is. Azula timidly lifts a fully open hand, indicating she thinks she's five years old. Zuko realizes that this is before she even knew she could firebend, and consequently before Ozai started ruining her.

To add to the misery, the doctors confirm that no, it's not an act to manipulate Zuko and yes, she really thinks she's five, but she's super scared because, while she does remember some fragments and distorted parts of the last nine years, she thinks they were just a bad dream, but Zuko himself (with the scar and being more than twice the age he should be in her mind) is physical proof that her bad dream was real and it's making her even more confused and scared.

In other words, now Zuko has a real head-scratcher to deal with. How does he go about it? Take it away!

***

Oh. My. God. I love this. I love everything about this. Warning: it got kinky in the end because I'm me.

At first, Zuko is only gonna hold Azula close, rub her back and tell her in a soothing voice that everything is okay now, and that no one is going to hurt them. That the doctors just want to help her get better and that she'll understand everything once she does. That he is making sure mom will be back soon, safe and sound. Azula then asks about dad, to which Zuko awkwardly says that Ozai is... recovering too, and if things work out she'll be allowed to see him.

Obviously he doesn't really WANT to let Azula see their father, especially not in this condition, but she wouldn't have calmed down otherwise and it's not like Ozai will ever even want to recover, so that reunion is never gonna happen.

Azula relaxes a bit, but it quickly becomes clear that, for her to feel truly safe (or safer) she'll need to be in the palace, so Zuko just has the doctors take of her at home instead of at the hospital. His intention was for her bedroom to be her hospital room, but she refuses to sleep alone, so Zuko lets her spend the night with him, assuming that after a few days or weeks she'll feel safe enough by herself.

But she doesn't. And when they finally find Ursa and she's offering to let Azula stay with her, Azula refuses. She remembers almost anything, but it's clear that some of part of her still resents Ursa and doesn't feel comfortable getting any help from her, even if it's clear she likes the attention. Without much of a choice, Zuko resigns himself to being her guardian, trying to take care of her every need.

At first, he struggles to properly manage his time, since he has a ton of new responsibilities as Fire Lord, but eventually he gets a handle on it, especially whenever one of his friends shows up to give him a helping hand. And since Azula insists on following him around pretty much everywhere, reading or drawing on his office as he takes care of his political role, one day, without thinking, she ends up offering a great solution for a matter Zuko had been discussing with one of his advisors.

She seems to confused as to what exactly came over her, and it scares her a bit, but Zuko just picks her up and spins her around, kissing her cheeks and praising her, overjoyed that some of her old self seems to be resurfacing after so many months. His mother is a bit worried, since Azula's old self wasn't exactly easy to handle, but he doesn't even care. They've gotten so close that he is sure that once she fully recovers she won't go back to hating him, at least not fully, and that they'll find a way to be on good terms.

Their routine continues as normal, much to the doctors' disappointment, as they were all hoping Azula would start having more instinctive moments like that and start acting her again, but Zuko doesn't mind it one bit. He makes sure she's always getting enough food, sleep, therapy sessions, everything. He reads her a story every night and helps her bathe and dress up every morning. Whenever there's a thunderstorm, he lets her cling to him for comfort, no matter where they are or what he was doing. He even spoils her a bit, giving her anything she wants - sweets, books, toys, pretty clothes, etc.

And as difficult as it is, he tries to be honest when Azula asks things like "Why isn't Lu Ten around?" or "Did dad give you that scar?" He can tell that, if he lies to her about happened, she'll stop trusting him, and even though the answers upset her, he always manages to soothe her.

When he and Mai break up for the final time, amicably, Azula offers to be his new girlfriend so he won't be sad. Zuko chuckles and tells her that siblings don't date. He doesn't think much of her offer, assuming it's just a classic case of a child (well, "child" in this case) not understanding the difference between familial and romantic love. He is sure it's fully innocent.

He has no idea that what made Azula suggest that were strange thoughts she's been having, in which she pictures him kissing her and asking to marry her. They feel familiar, but not as vivid as events like their Agni Kai (which Azula doesn't yet have the courage to ask about), so she's unsure if they are memories of real events or of some daydream of hers.

Once it's been almost a full year since her breakdown, Azula instinctively creates a small, orange flame in the fire place during a rainy night, and Zuko is about to celebrate - until he notices Azula is clearly about to panic. That simple action led to dozens of unpleasant memories flooding her head - harsh firebending instructors, demanding teachers at the Fire Nation's royal academy for girls, Ozai's overwhelming expectations of her, and, of course, some battles she's been in. Zuko promises her that none of it will ever happen again, but this time Azula doesn't calm down until he's singing her an old song that Ozai used to sing for them, back when he was still putting in the slightest effort into being a good father. She falls asleep, but is still shaken the next morning.

After that incident, her behavior becomes a bit inconsistent. When she isn't thinking much, she acts like she's around 10 years old, so still very much a child, but not as dependent on Zuko as before. But whenever she catches herself acting like that, she deliberately tries to act like she's 5, out of fear that Zuko will distance himself from her if he believes she doesn't need him as much. The doctors notice and tell him to try and stablish some boundaries.

But he can't. Each time she puts on that facade of helpless little princess that desperately needs her older brother (who is basically her father at this point) to take care of all her needs, he immediately folds. He does still try to encourage her to practice her bending again, and eventually she accepts, finding it quite enjoyable since for once there's no expectation for her to be perfect. It eventually gives her the confidence to not act like she's that much younger (though she still slips every now and then) and by the time of her 16th birthday, she's pretty much behaving as she did when she was 12 - once again, younger than her actual age, but making progress.

This, however, comes with the awkward consequence of Azula remembering some of her more... inappropriate thoughts towards her brother. She finds herself struggling not to stare when he's firebending without a shirt, or wearing clothes that make him look really good. Every night, when they go to sleep, she can't help but fantasize about kissing and touching him. As her treatment progresses, her fantasy self becomes more and more bold.

By her 17th birthday, the doctors consider her fully recovered - even if she insists on the facade that she's "too scared" to sleep alone. They once again remind Zuko to set some boundaries, and then leave the palace for good.

That night, Azula cannot help herself and kisses Zuko when he pulls her into his arms for a hug. He is shocked at what she's done and horrified at how his body reacted. He had fantasies about sleeping with her pretty much from the moment they were reunited after three long years, but her breakdown and the vulnerable position she had been in for so long after it had kept his lust dormant, and Zuko had naively assumed that his "unnatural" desire was dead.

He keeps trying to resist, telling her that this is wrong, and insisting that it would be taking advantage of her, even as she swears to him that she already wanted this long before he had to basically become her parent - but, of course, he eventually gives in and makes love to her. The morning after, he tells that it will never happen again.

It happens again that very night. And the night after that, and the night after that, and the night after that, until Zuko eventually stops kidding himself and just accepts that he's a freak. It was all the permission Azula needed to practically demand that he acts like her "daddy" again each time they have sex - and even when they're not. Zuko HATES how much it turns him on, as he feels it is tainting the genuinely innocent moments they had shared during her recovery, but Azula enjoys it so much that he cannot be bothered to keep judging himself for it.

He touches her each time he "helps" her bathe and get dressed. On some nights, he reads or sings to her before bed, and on others they just make love until they fall sleep. He'll "punish" her with spankings each time she misbehaves or does something wrong when firebending. He makes her indulge in every perverse fantasy he can think of in exchange for giving her gifts.

He feels like the sickest man alive and he's never been happier, and Azula has never felt so adored in her entire life.

#zucest #not safe for what

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