#emo boy from death note

[beelzebuegg]

[princess-kurosaki]

to know me is to love me,

the key to my heart will always be merch. bracelets. tattoos/piercings and pjs. thank you baby🖤😭

[seithr]

I finished mass effect three ✌️

[pawsandpalettes]

Death's Adopted Sons

These boys need more love fr

Some design notes below:

They're based on Turkish Angora cats because i just adore their round fluffy faces & short ears

I imagine they get their stocky built from Forneus & their fur pattern from their bio dad(not Nari but one of his old worshippers)

In my au ingame they're 15-16 years old biologically but 250 years old physically

Also I like to headcannon that the skull on Aym's collar was his actual skull cause he's just emo like that

[jeankluv]

loml - Gojo Satoru

summary: You read the letter that Satoru left behind, his last words to you, with all the love he had.

tags: heavy angst, character death, no happy ending, canon universe, manga spoilers (I guess)

note: sorry… but I got emotional with Gojo writing letters for his students and this came to me. Sorry again 🩶

Jujutsu Kaisen materialist

You are the love of my life

That’s what Satoru would say on a spring day when you were 20.

You are the love of my life

He would say whenever he kissed you before sleeping.

You are the love of my life 

He would whisper while embracing you, after a long day of missions.

You are the love of my life 

He would say whenever he had the opportunity, it didn't matter if it was just the two of you or in front of the whole world.

You are the love of my life

He said before leaving you to fight Sukuna on that cold Christmas Eve.

To the loml

That was the first thing your eyes saw on the letter that Shoko handed you. The loml You read again. And again.

You smiled a bit, “loml” why not write love of my life instead?

Your hands were cold, you blamed the cold winter, but the reality was that you were frozen staring at that envelope, your hands unable to tear the paper to read what was inside. Your chest hurt, the cold air stabbed your lungs like daggers, and you could barely breathe.

You made a small opening with your nails and pulled out the paper, which was neatly folded. With your eyes already stinging, you unfolded it.

“To the love of my life,

I don’t know how to start this, I don’t even know how to put down everything I want to tell you. But god, I pray you never have to read this silly and embarrassing letter.

But if you do… I’m sorry, I didn’t get to keep my promise, I’m really sorry.

You crying? Please don’t do it, you look beautiful too when you cry, but thinking about how much pain I’m probably causing you breaks my heart.

I will try to make you smile with this letter, is that alright? I hope you said yes. 

Remember when we met? It was the first day of our first year, you looked so beautiful, your red cheeks and shy smile. I don’t believe in love at first sight but I think that what I fell for you right after seeing you was love, light. You were mesmerizing. 

You still are.

Now, you remember how Suguru used to look like a complete emo boy during that time, with all his hair down and everything? You know, I used to be so jealous when you were combing his hair. I wanted to be him so badly, but my hair was too short. Thank god he learned how to do it himself.

But honestly, I told him to, he was getting on my nerves.”

A chuckle escaped your lips as you read that, you knew that at some point Satoru felt a bit jealous of Suguru, because you used to spend more time together. 

But the truth is that Suguru was always trying to help you with Satoru, he was his best friend and he knew him better than anyone. You regret never telling Satoru about that, about the fact you were both crushing each other since the very beginning. 

Looking up to the sky you tried to make your tears disappear, but they didn’t. You sniffed your nose and kept on reading the letters that were already covered with tears from your eyes.

“Remember when I took Tsumiki and Megumi in? We had been dating for what? 4 months? Your face was a poem when I showed up at your apartment with two kids and presented them to you. 

You were an excellent mother to them, they loved you so much. 

I remember the birthdays, how we would prepare their cakes or in Christmas, how we used to sneak out of bed to leave the presents for them. I would always thought; oh god, I want to marry her. I want to spend the rest of my days with her. Have a family with her.

But you know, reality always hit me the second after. What our jobs are, the risks, everything… And I always wondered. Do I want to put you through that? What if I leave one day? I didn’t  want my children to grow up without their father or mother. 

I hated it, but I loved it. I loved fighting curses and strong opponents but I hated not knowing what it was to have a normal life, a normal relationship. 

I know you used to hate how I used to spy on you whenever you had a solo mission, but every time you went on a solo mission I was scared, terrified. I was afraid that the phone would ring and Shoko would tell me that you were no longer there. It scared me so much.

But now the one who must have been truly scared was you… I just hope you didn’t see the fight, but I know how stubborn you are and you were probably there, without blinking. I’m sorry I made you suffer, I don’t know what happened, but I’m sorry you’re crying for me. 

I’ll say it again, I hope you never read this letter, because it was never necessary… 

In the end I didn’t make you laugh with the letter, right? 

Forgive me, sweetheart. 

I love you, more than anything in this life. You are and always will be the love of my life. But if I leave and I’m not with you anymore, please, don’t close yourself off, don’t isolate yourself.

Live, be happy, smile, because that smile of yours is the warmest thing in this world.

Light up everyone else's world, just like you did with mine when we were 15 and you gave me that smile at our first meeting.

I love you forever 

— The love of your life, Satoru.”

A sob escaped your lips and you pressed the letter to your chest. Your face was completely soaked by your tears and your breathing was ragged, you could barely breathe. 

“Why Satoru? Why you?” You said between sobs.

You wanted that life he was talking about, you wanted to have him with you again, why couldn't it be like that?

He was gone and you were there, holding a piece of paper he left behind, with his last words, his last thoughts. 

You didn’t want to let it go, you couldn’t. If you let him go… You would start to forget things, moments you lived, his smell, his laugh, his voice, his look, you couldn't let him go. You couldn't let go of the love of your life. You didn't want to.

The minutes started to pass and the sun, which was once shining on the sky, was now gone. 

Your name was called. “You have to enter or you will catch a cold…”

“Just a bit more…” You said and you heard the sigh. 

“C’mon.” You felt how they took your arm and pulled you in. “You need to take your medicine, remember?” You nodded. “That letter is really special to you, right? You always read it.” 

“Yeah…” You whispered. 

“From someone special in your life?” 

Yeah… from someone you already could only remember from pictures, from someone whose voice was a distant memory, from someone whose smell was long gone, whose laugh wasn’t around anymore. 

And it hadn’t been around for the last 60 years… 

“Yeah… from the love of my life…” You paused. “The loss of my life...” You whispered. 

The room felt silent for an instant. “Your son and grandkids are here…” The nurse whispered.

And a faint smile appeared on your face as you looked at the door. “Hi my sweet babies…” The kids ran towards you and jumped to your bed.

“Granny! Could you tell us the stories about you and your friends fighting those monsters?”

“Again?” You smiled.

“Yeah, please!” 

“Alright, alright…” You chuckled. “So long time ago…” 

[pomefioredove]

okay after reading all the goth hc, I gotta ask. how do you think the guys would react (any of them but preferred Floyd and Idia ) to playing them goth music/show them a trad goth outfit/makeup look (suprise them maybe? For example: I hc Leona to just have the least slay music taste to mankind (beastmankind?) so you play him- idk let’s say Lebanon Hanover, and he’s like “wtf is this herbivore?” But then he kinda gets into it. no pressure to write for it btw!

-✨♥️✨

ANON I was literally thinking about making a post like this a few days before this ask... you have my heart. I'm doing a full post

summary: nrc boys and goth type of post: headcanons characters: nrc students additional info: platonic or romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is not specified to be yuu, half-headcanons half-x reader author's note: I'm assuming that goth as a subculture and a music scene already exists in this world. this post is also mostly about the music scene

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Riddle is essentially a baby bat

he's like, two bad life choices away from going full victorian goth at any given moment

he flat out refuses to listen to anything "vulgar" but secretly adores the dark, poetic side to goth

he's also morbidly obsessed with death, being a sad victorian boy and the child of two doctors. it works

as much as I hate to say it, Ace starts out as the kind of guy to say he wants a "goth gf" on multiple occasions

he proudly announces it to everyone at an unbirthday party once and Riddle almost kills him for being annoying for interrupting

thinks the music is too sad

...but he mellows out eventually (your influence)

both Deuce and Trey are not particularly interested

(Deuce leaned into punk music as a preteen but has since "given it up" because it's too unruly for an aspiring honors student, in his opinion)

Cater inexplicably already knows a lot about goth

won't talk about it unless you bring it up first but if you play him something semi-popular

he'll be like "oh yeah I know that one"

he has a few songs on his playlist he listens to when he's alone

is a goth magnet himself. pulls many hot goths. no one knows how

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Jack is also not really into it. not his thing

however I can see him secretly being into emo

make of that what you will

and Ruggie will never pass you the aux again. he calls it "halloween music"

Leona acts thoroughly uninterested for a long time

like, he'll listen to the music you give him, but doesn't really say whether he likes it or not

says he doesn't care about the scene (thinks it's too pretentious)

and pretends to be annoyed when you give him more song recs

but he gets into it. he starts listening on his own

he has a definite preference for gothic rock

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Jade is already goth (to me at least)

and very eager to talk about his favorite bands

loves giving recommendations

apparently the coral sea has its own goth subgenres and bands, which sound... much different from land ones

Floyd will listen (has listened, thanks to his brother) but he doesn't particularly care

he much prefers the aesthetic, it reminds him of home

...being that he's from the deep sea, where it's dark and cold

the flowy, dark, elegant looks are just enchanting to him. he can't keep his eyes off it

Azul couldn't be bothered

he's willing to learn, but isn't a huge fan of the general... strangeness

(he doesn't really understand why anyone would want to be perceived as strange in the first place)

and the music is so unmelodic to him

"that was just a man moaning and a gate creaking for seven minutes" and then he bans you from his office

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Kalim literally listens to goth already

I don't know how to explain it but I know he does

it's so funny because he never ever dresses goth or acts stereotypically goth but every once in a while he'll be like "who wants to hear my new favorite song? :D" and it's like, alien sex fiend. and no one can say anything about it

Jamil is an appreciator

depending on what you show him, he could really get into the lyricism and general mood

...if only because he finds goth dancing absolutely mesmerizing

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Rook is goth

he only dresses the part sometimes, but he's always been very passionate about the poetic elements of the music

...really into french coldwave

in terms of fashion he leans romantic goth

it just makes sense to me. he could find beauty in absolutely anything, and the dark and macabre are no exception

will talk your ear off about his favorite bands if you give him the chance

Vil is really more into the style than the music

he's dabbled in a little bit of everything; trad goth, romantic goth, medieval goth. he pulls all of it off

honestly, if anything, the gothic style compliments his features and tastes more than anything

he has such a respect for the subculture and the dedication that goes into the visual elements

Epel doesn't get it. sorry 😔

he will listen to the music you recommend because he cares about you, but he just doesn't like it

he's in the same boat as Azul. "was that a slide whistle?"

absolutely baffled, but he likes you and it's a small price to pay for your happiness

(and he thinks the fashion is too androgynous for his tastes)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

I feel like Idia also used to think he wanted a goth until he saw the e-girl vs goth discourse, freaked out, then spent two weeks reading about different subcultures

...still wants a goth partner

but now he actually knows what that means

will listen to any music you give him out of respect (fear) and won't say anything about whatever weird taxidermy-related hobby you have

he's surrounded by death all the time anyway who cares

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

you could get Silver to listen to the cure's entire discography and he'd come out of it really enjoying just like heaven and nothing else

it's just... not for him

(plus the slower songs put him to sleep)

Malleus somehow hasn't even heard of goth as a genre when you approach him

he is. a little disappointed it's not music about the architecture style

but he still warms up to it, especially as someone who enjoys finding the beauty in the dark and misunderstood

you can fix him. you can goth him.

Sebek joins only after everyone in Diasomnia gets in on it with you (he doesn't like being left out)

he loves it because silver doesn't and malleus does

peepaw Lilia is an old goth

he was around when the music scene started, and he also remembers the literature movement it was named after, and the popular architecture style that was named after, and...

...you get it

still, he's always pleased to learn about new bands and subgenres and styles and the like

could and will talk about it for hours and hours with you

he dresses the part, too

we love him

[ozzgin]

L is why i had a death note messenger bag in 4th grade and also why i constantly had shoulder pains walking home from school

I feel you anon, I had a Nightmare Before Christmas messenger bag I miraculously found for sale at a beach resort shop in our hometown. Boy, that bag followed me to college. It was one of the few alt things in my possession as an emo kid living in post-communism Eastern Europe. I felt like an American student in those cartoons I used to watch; we only ever had backpacks.

Anyways, at some point I reached the conclusion that my comfort is sadly more important than aesthetics; since the damned bag always tugged at my shoulders, I gave it up.

A less painful compromise to express my Death Note cringe was to answer the phone while holding it like L.

[problematic-maleslash-polls]

Do you ship it?

Problematic Reasons: 7 year age gap, enemies, toxic, imprisoned and killed each other, L planted cameras in Light's house when Light was 17 years old if that's anything

Propaganda: iconic forefather of modern-day yaoi. invented the concept of emo boys kissing. need i say more

[sunflw3rbouquet]

iris

gojo x male reader spoilers for the jjk manga!!

notes: high school gojo!, meanish suguru and shoko, satoru hating higher ups (we knew), unedited bc im lazy, not entirely lore accurate, reader has implied telepathy, really unrealistic, title from the googoo dolls, this could be so much better tw: cursing, DEATH (im describing death guys please watch out), making out (lazily and not described), saliva (idk its nasty to some people), gore described in death, BLOOD

…sun✰ draft back from my emo era, i cried writing this</3 happy april fools guys!

and i don't want the world to see me 'cause i don't think that they'd understand when everything's made to be broken i just want you to know who i am

satoru’s soft hands had become rougher over the wet winter. 

countless cold december nights had made the skin on his hands crack. y/n and satoru laid pressed against one the roofs of the high school, fingers intertwined tightly. the warmth from their hands was like a fire, heating both of their bodies in spite of the cold winter. satoru’s eyes watched the sky, stars blinking brightly.

“i can’t wait till we get older.” he whispered, squeezing y/n’s hand gently. satoru turned his head to look at his boyfriend, smiling softly. butterflies fluttered their wings in y/n’s stomach at the expression, his face inching forwards towards satoru’s.

his only reply was a soft hum, satoru giggling. “uh huh, yeah. i can’t wait to go on dates at any time of the day, to wake up in your arms, to see you all the time, to go on missions with you, to marry you.”

y/n looked away and back towards the sky, his face caked with a pink glow. “shut it…”. the air returned to it’s winter quiet as the two stared at the blinking lights of the city.

the silence allowed the thoughts y/n had laid to rest bubble up again, flowing to the tip of his heavy tongue. maybe, just maybe, he could say them. if he was brave enough. it’s only a few words-

“maybe…” the start of a sentence brought satoru’s attention back, his eyes going straight to y/n’s face enshrouded in darkness. “once we retire from this sorcerer stuff we can finally be together? like in public.” y/n’s sentence ended, but the silence didn’t get broken up by satoru replying. doubts that y/n had pushed down for a second bubbled up again in the long, cold silence. maybe satoru didn’t want him forever. maybe he was something for now, something to quell the pain of adolescence.

and then satoru laughed.

satoru’s laughter rang through the night, so brightly that a passerby would think the sun was rising. y/n turned his head to look back at his boyfriend, his fears quelling as he saw the brightest smile on satoru’s face.

“i’m excited for the day i’ll forever be yours.” satoru moved forward, pressing a gentle kiss to y/n’s cheek. the world was so much brighter when satoru was affectionate, which was often, but the feeling of his lips was ethereal.

y/n let himself sink into the feeling. no doubts, no worrying about dying, just happiness. just himself and the boy he loved. he squeezed the boy’s hand again, allowing himself to feel each muscle and tendon squeeze satoru’s palm.

satoru let out a sigh, moving from his spot to cuddle into his boyfriend’s side. his breath was the slightest bit warmer than the weather outside, the patch of skin graced with the feeling reacting by sending a shiver through y/n’s body. the contact between them surfaced thoughts of doubts and fear that had been put to rest for a second.

so much for peace.

y/n brought his hand up to pet satoru’s hair like he was a cat begging for attention, words bubbling on his tongue. “toru…”

“hey really handsome boyfie may we go inside? i’m really cold and i don’t want to become a snowman.” satoru’s voice was chopped with the sound of chattering teeth, a smile on his lips as he looked up to make eye contact with y/n.

even when satoru cut his words off unknowingly, even when doubts clouded y/n’s mind, satoru’s bright smile melting everything he ever feared. the panic that morphed y/n’s smile into a frown disappeared as y/n nodded, sitting up with satoru in his lap. “of course, toru. let’s go to my dorm mr. snowman.”

soft whines and complaints left satoru’s throat as they climbed down from the roof, entering into the silent hallway. “i don’t want to be a snowman! i’m a warm, sweet ray of sunshine.” he spoke with a proud smile, his hand lacing with y/n’s. silence fell between them as the made their way to y/n’s dorm room, opening the door to enter inside.

satoru plopped down on the bed, a lovesick grin gracing his face as he looked at y/n. “also, it makes me happy you’re calling me toru again. i think you’re getting better. i think we’re better. it makes me so happy.” y/n stopped in his tracks at the dresser, putting the tshirt he was holding back down on the top of the surface. he looked back at satoru, smiling softly.

“i love you.” satoru said, a sparkle in his eyes as he flopped back down on the bed, y/n’s face flushing.

satoru loved him. it wasn’t a hard thing to assume, but confirmation made everything better.

the forgotten words he had to say crossed his mind once more, his returning smile falling even with satoru’s cute mumbling. 

i have something i need to tell you.

the words wanted to push from y/n’s mouth, but he found a strand of restraint to keep them at bay.

it can wait for later. there’s no need to make satoru upset when he’s so happy.

the training fields were covered in snow as y/n woke up in the morning, suguru and shoko standing in their jackets under the pavilion. y/n’s eyelids slowly blinked as he adjusted to the morning light, his jacket thrown loosely over his unbuttoned uniform shirt. satoru came up behind him, slinging his arm over y/n’s shoulder like it was natural for him. like it was so natural, even though it caused y/n’s heart to flutter to the sky and made gojo’s cheeks turn the softest shade of pink. 

“good morning my favorites!” satoru cheered, jumping into the snow.

shoko sighed, putting one of her finger tips next to her ear to block the sound of satoru making a snow angel. suguru cringed, side eyeing satoru as he got out of his angel and ran to him and shoko, leaning in to try and conserve body heat.

“good morning, satoru.” suguru breathed out, satoru smiling happily as he attempted to mold himself to suguru’s side. y/n let out a soft chuckle as satoru began to happily talk about his morning with suguru.

the outside was filled with noise, shoko and suguru resisting from rolling their eyes as they watched satoru jump around happily like a child on a sugar rush. they talk between each other, their words exiting their mouths in a hushed tone.

”god, he’s so energetic.” suguru sighed, putting his head in his right hand, shoko tightening her scarf around her neck.

”i know, it’s so early. i just can’t believe anyone could like him when he’s so energetic like this.” shoko sighed, rolling her eyes as satoru jumped to y/n, adjusting his hat.

even though the two were quiet, y/n still heard their words, the things they were saying swirling around his mind.

how could anyone like him. how could anyone like him. how could anyone like him.

how could they say that about his satoru? they were friends, weren’t they? as satoru played with y/n’s collar, y/n changed his gaze to look at suguru and shoko, shaking his head knowingly.

suguru smiled weakly, moving from his spot to make a snow ball, throwing it at satoru’s head with a smile. satoru turned, his glasses falling off as he stared at suguru. “bring it on!” satoru yelled, separating himself from y/n to throw snowballs at his friend. a small grin appeared on y/n’s face as he saw the two interacting, getting shoko involved. their loud screams rang through the exterior, y/n watching them play.

he loved satoru so much.

“y/n, come join!” satoru yelled, suguru and shoko reciprocating his call. y/n joined them, throwing snow at the three with a smile on his face.

how could anyone like him? because he’s the kindest, funniest man in the world.

the heater in y/n’s dorm must have been broken.

there were 5 blankets on his bed and a cuddly satoru resting on his chest, but the air was still cold. the windows weren’t open, and the rooms had been temperature checked before winter started, so what could it be?

“i don’t want you to go.” satoru whined, looking down at his boyfriend. a pout rested on his lips, his bright, blue eyes staring into y/n’s. his fluffy white hair stuck up in every direction, y/n’s hands running through it. he was cold because y/n had broke his heart (figuratively) by saying he had a mission to go on. 

“i know. i’m sorry.” y/n’s voice was soft, a frown gracing his lips. satoru sighed, adjusted himself so he was situated in the crook of y/n’s neck, his hips wriggling before deciding on a place.

“i think the higher ups hate me. why are they taking away my boyfriend.” satoru whined, his words vibrating on y/n’s skin. “i could kill this thing in a minute and be back to you.” y/n winced slightly, pressing a kiss to satoru’s face. 

“…you don’t have to do all this work for me. besides, it’s a first grade, i’m a first grace sorcerer, i’ll be fine.” y/n countered, causing satoru to break out into a sea of whines and complaints. with a sigh, y/n pressed a kiss to the man’s lips, a smile begrudgingly appearing on his own. “you’ll live, toru. i promise.” satoru smiled, snuggling his head into his boyfriend’s chest.

“i know. you’re really strong.” satoru spoke, his voice deescalating from his normal loud demeanor. he let his quiet voice take over, a soft, gentle voice replacing the energetic voice he used to carry. “i love you.” he said, his lips attaching to y/n’s jaw as he pressed gentle kisses to the skin. y/n sighed, his hands raking through satoru’s hand.

he pulled satoru’s head off his jaw, connecting their lips. they moved together as one, satoru’s puffy, pink lips a calming medicine for his body. was it possible for a man to be this perfect? satoru’s hands gripped y/n’s free one, his lips moving faster. y/n moved his hand that laid in satoru’s hand to rest on his jaw, a smile on his face. lazily kissing his boyfriend was one of the best pleasures in the world, there couldn’t be anything better than that.

satoru situated himself on top of his boyfriend, his unoccupied arm wrapping itself around y/n’s neck until his palm was pressed against the baby hairs on the nape. their lips were slowly moving back and forth, like a dance that was a slow and constant tango. satoru was a weighted pillow, and he quelled y/n’s anxiety that easily. 

all the fear of something he had to say to his boyfriend, gone away in an instant. the words were gone from his lips, satoru taking them out through the placement of his own on y/n’s. a soft noise escaped y/n’s lips as satoru separated himself, a smile on his lips starting after seeing the thin strand of saliva breaking in between them.

“i’m staying the night with you. i’m going to be here when you leave tomorrow.” satoru affirmatively spoke, y/n smiling as he saw satoru wipe his lips.

“i guess i have all night to spend with you.” y/n spoke, satoru nodding, his hand squeezing y/n’s. “i love you.” he repeated, satoru rolling his eyes. the room was warm now, all the cold gone, y/n’s heart pumping fast as he saw satoru gaze into his eyes.

“yeah yeah, i love you too.” 

satoru was one of the best ways to get sent off before a mission.

y/n had been gone for a week.

a week was unnecessary for this mission. satoru knew this. his boyfriend was strong, so one grade one curse shouldn’t constitute a week long trip.

something had to be wrong. that had to be the only option.

satoru sat up in y/n’s bed, his eyes sore as he rubbed them. his heart was beating fast, too fast for a simple deep sleep.

help.

was he hearing something?

satoru.

he was definitely hearing something. y/n’s voice ringing in his ears, even though he was hundreds of miles away fighting a curse. even with this rationale, satoru got out of bed and put his slippers on. pathetic. the strongest, only showing weakness for the man he loves. satoru exited the dorms, running as fast as he could without tripping. the streets of tokyo pass by in a blur, his stomach clenching and his lungs barely able to catch oxygen.

he had to find y/n.

he looked down an empty block of land in some deserted city block, time slowing after he blinked. satoru’s eyes caught on a bloodied figure, the damage of a fight prevalent on the street. he recognized that figure anywhere. his y/n.

“no, no, no, no, no.” satoru muttered, running over to grab the man’s hand. blood pooled down his arm, satoru able to see the bone peeking through from where the blood flowed. “baby, what did they do to you?” he asked the question quietly, squeezing y/n’s hand.

“there was too many- curses. one was… a special grade?” y/n spoke, his words getting cut off by the closing of his eyes in pain. “it doesn’t hurt anymore.” he spoke, tears pooling in satoru’s eyes.

“i need to get you back to school. they can save you- baby you hear me?” he spoke, his voice frantic.

“satoru, i think i’m dying.” y/n’s voice was hoarse, the words coming out shaky. his hand reached up to hold satoru’s cheek, a scared look appearing on his face. “you’re… glowing. it’s beautiful.” he whispered, tears dropping from satoru’s eyes. satoru began to speak, y/n cutting him off. “if i’m dying, at least i’m here with the man i love.”

satoru broke. tears now flowed from his eyes, now taking in y/n’s appearance. his chest was bleeding everywhere, and there were cuts in the pants of his uniform, where more blood leaked out. dried blood was caked on his forehead, showing that he had been bleeding for a long time. there was nothing satoru could do for him.

he was dying.

“i love you. so much. with my entire heart.” satoru whispered, kissing y/n’s lips gently. it tasted like blood. satoru hated that taste, but he savored it. he could still find y/n’s taste inside there, even if it was subtle. 

“i love you too. forever.” y/n spoke quietly, his eyes glossing as he began to cry. satoru held the man tightly, disregarding the blood seeping into his pajamas, holding the man tightly as tears fell down his face and his breathing got slower until it stopped. 

satoru’s heart stopped along with it. he cried out, sobs racking his body as he held the man tightly, voice heard by no one.

if only he had gone on the mission instead.

satoru was empty.

his heart was beating coldly, nothing good happening from each beat. he was alive. that’s why it was terrible. he was living and y/n wasnt.

his eyes were red and puffy, no icepack cooling the pain. his legs ached from how much he sat in bed, and his eyebags were deep from sleepless nights haunted by his boyfriend. 

or, should he say, his dead boyfriend.

y/n’s funeral was small. yaga-sensei was there, and all the students (the living ones at least) showed up. even other sorcerors had shown up to pay their respects to the late, but seemingly great, l/n y/n. 

everyone was given time up. everyone, except satoru it seems. everyone, except y/n’s own boyfriend. one of the only people in the world that gave two fucks about him.

satoru’s fingers clutched at the black fabric of his uniform, his signature glasses traded for a black blindfold that blocked out all the light. it blocked out the thing that only y/n could have. bright light.

y/n was the light. y/n was the brightest sunshine. y/n made gojo, the world, shine and become complete. and now his sun was gone.

tears dropped from satoru’s eyes, rolling down his cheeks. they peaked from under his blindfold until they fell off onto the grass or rolled down his neck. he was tired of kneeling. he was tired of sitting on the grass in front of his boyfriend’s grave, waiting for the day when he could join him.

”why did you leave me?” he asked, his throat choking in fear and annoyance as he berated y/n once more. wasn’t this one of the stages of grief? satoru never paid attention when the teachers when on about that stuff in lessons. he never thought he would have to know it. even then, the words somehow floated to the front of his mind. anger. he was angry. he was angry with himself for not going to help sooner, he was angry at the higher ups for not understanding the situation they set y/n up in, and he was angry at y/n. 

why was he angry at the man he loved? 

it was pointless to be angry with him. no good would come from it. “i’m sorry.” he whispered, tears pooling as he let his throat relax. “i’m so sorry. i failed you.” his speech turned from words to mumbles until they became weak cries, satoru’s head falling into his hands.

how many times had he cried this week? how much had he lost of himself waiting for an answer from someone in power? someone above him? why was he hurting so badly? when would it ever stop?

he just wanted his boyfriend. satoru wanted nothing else but his boyfriend. nothing more, nothing less. he would give the entire world for this wish, giving up being the strongest just for one more day, no one more hour, no minute, no second with the man he loved. he would give it all for the man he loved.

not loved. loves. 

he loves y/n. he will always love him. 

picking his head up, satoru wiped his tears. he sniffled once more, then imagined y/n wiping his tears as he stood up, confidence and anger radiating off of his body. he wasn’t going to cry anymore. 

“i’ll make it worth it for you, y/n. i’ll make it worth it for you.”

was this the end?

satoru’s body hurt. what was left of it, at least. 

how much longer did he have before he faded away? minutes? seconds?

he wasn’t ready to go. all the students he had left to teach, all of the things he had to do. he couldn’t leave yuji, nobara, inumaki, maki, panda, and megumi. god, he couldn’t leave megumi. how was he supposed to make sure that jujutsu sorcerers continued to be strong? 

his eyes glossed over, blinking once, then twice as he looked at the sky. the sun was so beautiful. there was a beautiful glow, and he was brought back to high school. this must have been what y/n was talking about all those years ago when he died. the most beautiful glow filled the sky as his chest began to ache less, y/n’s face appearing in front of him.

“i told you not to join me so fast.” y/n said, his face clear from bruises and pain. satoru tried to speak, y/n shushing him. “come on, we’re together again at last.” y/n stuck out his hand, satoru reaching up to grip the skin. he could feel the skin. slowly, his body was lifted from pain and the blood and cuts taken as he was finally in y/n’s arms again. tears pooled in satoru’s eyes, feeling incomplete until y/n held him tightly. “i got you, love. it’ll hurt for a while, but i’ve got you.”

with a sigh, satoru nodded, kissing the man’s lips gently. god, he missed the feeling so much. his broken heart was finally put back together, a smile on his lips.

i needed someone who understood me like you. no more, no less.

“fushiguro, are you sure this is were gojo-sensei is?” itadori asked, fushiguro holding a bouquet of white flowers to place on the teachers grave. 

“i’m sure.” he said, sitting down in front of a pair of graves, placing the flowers down. the rest of the first years followed suit, itadori looking up to read the names and inscriptions.

l/n y/n, 12/24/2006 

gojo satoru, 12/24/2018

together forever.

i just want you to know who i am i just want you to know who i am i just want you to know who i am

the man satoru is... 3482 words

[mellywritesstuff]

hey melly!! hope you’re doing well, can I request the male harbingers (expect that one dude 😭 and seperate) w a really weak reader (like she can’t fight for shi..) and they are always worried about her and are quite protective ..

hope this is ok .. feel free not to do this request if you’re uncomfortable!!

~mari :)

(Male) Fatui Harbingers x (weak)Fem!reader

—————————

Character(s): Pantalone, Dottore, Tartaglia/Childe, Scaramouche

A/N: didn’t know if you wanted scara or not so I included him anyway! I haven’t written in awhile, note to however has sent a request: I’m so SRRY I’ve haven’t written them yet they’re all in my drafts just been busy!!

Warnings: not proofread, 1 suggestive section, Cussing.

Genre(s): crack, fluff

—————————

Pantalone

Questions life decisions. He’s constantly stressed whenever you step outside (grass is overrated) insists on going with you everywhere. For protection.

If you won’t let him go with you he’ll either force you to take a fatui agent (as a bodyguard) or just suffer in silence while you’re gone.

He’s constantly worried.

“What if she comes back hurt?”

“What if she gets kidnapped?”

Wishes he could just lock you in his basement

He worries even more since he’s a fatui harbinger. People are out to get him, and especially you. Would NEVER let you near his fellow harbingers (Dottore) for fear that they might take advantage of your weakness and snap you in half.

And they’re hot

Starts to panics when he can’t find you when in reality you’ve been 2 ft away from him, hiding. To mess with him.

He loves you and all, but can you do anything else but to put yourself in danger? Please? (He’s so tired)

Dottore

For the love of god, stop moving, just stay with him in his lab, it only slightly reeks of death and chemicals.

An average day will just go by like:

“Dottore! Dottore! Look what I found”

“What the? Y/N put that down! It’s dangerous (it’s a rock)”

So once he dodges your rock, and you disappear he starts to panic.

“What the? Where’d you go?”

He’ll start frantically searching for you, you were right behind him.

EXTREMELY protective of you. Won’t hesitate to add another skeleton to his collection to anyone he deems a threat.

Luckily he’ll (force) a fatui agent to go with you everywhere. Or he’ll spy on you from a bush because he trusts no one, and really loves you.

Why would you want to go outside anyway? Wouldn’t you rather get railed by Dottore?

Tar-tar-Tartaglia

Literally goes “L bozo” and tackles you.

In all seriousness he’ll teach to fight if you want! Probably not a good idea since he’ll forget your fighting skills are the equivalent of a sheet of paper, then break every bone in your body

He trusts you enough. But since he’s constantly away on missions he worries you’ll get hurt and can’t stand to be away from you.

Will purposefully challenge you to arm wrestle just to throw you off the table.

Sees you as a tiny little duck, and protects you at all costs while simultaneously bullying you.

Will go, “hey wanna go Inazuma with me? Oh wait you can’t fight….later bozo” (he’s so mean)

One day you’ll beat his ass up for all that teasing.

Scaramouche

Another one that goes ‘L bozo’ in you form of “Skill issue”

Constantly on your back for getting yourself in dangerous situations when you follow him around.

“Are you an idiot?”

“Don’t do anything stupid…”

You’ve heard it too much, he may be a little emo boy but he just wants to keep you safe.

Wishes he could go everywhere with you, in a panicked state when you’re god (he doesn’t show it though)

Won’t teach you to fight, thinks you’re an unworthy opponent (ouch)

Sometimes he wants to cuddle and protect you and sometimes he wants to throw you off a cliff in frustration.

—————————

Hope you enjoyed! Melly out <3

[fatalhoon]

with love, the kids from yesterday

welcome! here you’ll find a collection of fics inspired by my favorite emo/pop punk albums from the 2000s/2010s!

— starring lee heeseung, sim jaeyun, and park sunghoon

✩ starring — 𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆

✩ featuring —

A FEVER YOU CAN'T SWEAT OUT by panic! at the disco

↳ heeseung x burlesque dancer!reader ; 1920s au

THE BLACK PARADE by my chemical romance

↳ ghost!heeseung x ghost!reader

COLLIDE WITH THE SKY by pierce the veil

↳ demon!heeseung x angel!reader

AMERICAN IDIOT by green day

↳ heeseung x reader ; zombie apocalypse au

✩ starring — 𝐒𝐈𝐌 𝐉𝐀𝐄𝐘𝐔𝐍

✩ featuring —

DEATH OF A BACHELOR by panic! at the disco

↳ jake x reader ; 70s au

DANGER DAYS: THE TRUE LIVES OF THE

FABULOUS KILLJOYS by my chemical romance

↳ killjoy!jake x killjoy!reader

FROM UNDER THE CORK TREE by fall out boy

↳ greaser!jake x soc!reader ; outsiders au

A LESSON IN ROMANTICS by mayday parade

↳ surfer!jake x mermaid!reader

✩ starring — 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐍

✩ featuring —

TOO WEIRD TO LIVE,

TOO RARE TO DIE by panic! at the disco

↳ royal guard!sunghoon x princess!reader

THREE CHEERS FOR

SWEET REVENGE by my chemical romance

↳ vampire!sunghoon x vampire hunter!reader

NOTHING PERSONAL by all time low

↳ nerd!sunghoon x band member!reader

BRAND NEW EYES by paramore

↳ detective!sunghoon x detective!reader ; paranormal au

authors note (sorry its long lol);

hi everyone! this entire idea from the very beginning has been in the works for a very long time (i originally got the idea for something like this back in 2019) so i’m so happy its finally in the works!! this is gonna be a very heavy task for me but my goal is to get these all out by the end of the year <3 also i don’t know if all of these bands are considered “emo” but these are all bands that i listened to during that phase of my life. and its my series so idc LMAO. its heejakehoon centric cause that’s my bias line and i knew i would need a lot of inspo if i was going to commit to this series (plus a lot of different things in terms of planning and organizing that we don’t have time to get into rn lmao) soo i’m sorry to the jay/sunoo/won/riki stans :< p!atd (fuck brendon tho) and mcr were my favorite bands growing up therefore i know most music from them so that’s why each of them has one album from both bands! i don’t expect these to change very much but don’t be surprised if i switch any of them around. anyway i’m yapping SO i hope you guys are excited for this as much as i am!!

with love, judah <3

[bookie-bookdust]

Sebastian Sallow Headcanons

Shitty attempt at headcanons for my morally gray, stubborn Sebby boy in Sebastian Sallow Fucking Sucks. It's long for literally no reason besides I don't know how to shut up.

My Seb has gone through it. He suffers - but he also deserves it for that whole "ignorant" outburst days after what happened in the Restricted Section on the night of the Yule Ball. So yeah, he's begging for forgiveness by the end when he realizes how torn he and MC's relationship has become - not without stubbornly trying to get under her skin first.

This idiot constantly wears tight clothes - not because he knows it drives MC insane, though if he noticed, it would get much much worse for her lol- but it's because he's so damn messy he grabs the first clean thing he can find in the morning (slutty little vests, tight sweaters, button downs with stressing buttons - RIP MC).

Reading glasses - enough said.

He's an extremely adept magic wielder. Not only can he cast multiple Unforgivables with shorter cooldowns, but his spells are obscenely strong. MC has not been able to beat him in a duel since that very first time.

That being said, he can't cast a patronus because he's a sad emo boy.

Fav spell: Confringo. Secret fav spell: Imperio.

It's not with the times, but he would definitely listen to metal music. You can't convince me otherwise.

The morally gray/dark wizard line is sooooo veryyyyyy thinnnnnnnn and will get worse.

He doesn't trust aurors and would NEVER BECOME ONE!!!!!!!! Why do ya’ll want him to be a cop so bad??? (Unless he's a dirty cop lol)

Career-wise, he'd be a curse breaker, healer, or a dark wizard 😌

Irrevocably dedicated to the ones he loves, and if he feels its dire enough, he will hurt them to protect them. Trust me on this - for no reason in particular😇

Not opposed to getting on his knees and begging hehehehe...

A skilled healer due to countless hours in the library studying up on a cure for Anne.

Has burned his fingerprints off with too many fire spells. And speaking of his fingers, it's common to spot him with ink staining his skin from all his note taking.

While he's charming and cocky, he sees himself as lesser, dispensable, and directly blames himself for all of his life tragedies.

Anger issues - duh.

Not sure if I'll even get into this in SSFS, but my Seb comes from a family of the Dark Arts - whether he's aware of it or not. We already know Solomon used them. I'd like to think his parents did as well, which is what led to their deaths. The Sallow line is cursed as fuck. Will be exploring this more in a future Dark Seb project where he has to break this curse.

Will make dick jokes. No one is safe.

While he'd make a great beater in Quidditch, his life just doesn't have space for trivial things. He's too busy with murder.

Speaking of body count LOL, he's charmed quite a few witches, but no one has shorted his brain quite like MC. He's intently studied some interesting books in the Restricted Section fantasizing testing out some things.

Idk when his birthday is lol. I'm just agreeing with everyone else.

Seb's relationship with Ominis is interesting....I'll be perfectly honest, I'm not sure if their friendship is going to survive in my world. Seb crosses too many lines. Obliviating your best friend really drives a wedge between you.

THE manipulator. We don't get to see too much of this in SSFS because we're in MC's pov. Particularly because he uses his wiles differently on her. But one of my favorite examples is even as he's mocking her for her poor attempt at lying in the broom closet, he's actively making her anxious (and hot and bothered lol) with that little thread on her sweater. And eventually she slips up. He's such a mother fucker lol.

Okay this post is way too long. I'm gonna leave now lol. BYEEEEE.

[ibunyang]

pirate au go brr. sorry quick lore drop about this au

so it starts with moleswift(DUH...) as pirates they were first mate and his captain (swifts) captain, they were probs looking for something to make them immortal idk fountain of youth pirates of the Caribbean core, they find it they drink from the fountain and mike dies almost instantly compared to norton and he has to get traumatized to see him die in his arms

Norton realizes he is immortal under the full moon like he's full skelly under the light, so he's just actually a dead man walking. Mike's dead tho but he gets another form of immortality (constant reincarnation)

Anyway, norton and every iteration of Mike throughout 500 years

< soul and sparrow - i think this was his ronald of ness era where he was still trying to hide the fact he was immortal so he kept changing his identity, the first ever time he met another mike that found in a barrel at like 19 years old.. maybe idk, sparrow grew part of his Golden Rose crew, during the whole time… and mike looked up to him as his captain.. until smth more… Ronald projected swifts the most on sparrow, and honestly ended up having to leave him when sparrow was realizing that norton wasnt aging at all since they met, he had to leave him bc he was having an existential crisis about being immortal and not aging at all anymore no matter how he tried to hide or ignore it, so he left sparrow (and the crew, basically fakes his own death.) this is when he just embraces his immortality at this point, after being kind of a recluse for a while

< cocoa and soul - maybe 100 years after sparrow, and hes given up trying to fake his identity, he has the face paint and everything, hes mostly known as soul now.. cocoa is the owner of an inn and he meets him every time he docks at his towns port, hes nice to him kind.. much softer than sparrow or swifts, but still as cocky and confident in himself (he notes that this mike smokes) cocoa lets him stay over whenever he wants to (hes trying not to get attached to this mike , so hes thankful for the fact that hes not a pirate or a sailor, just someone he can come home to any time, his light house per say.) he didnt have to do a painful goodbye with him, just a letter and the occasional sack of gold and jewels to spoil his favorite chef.

<pomegranate mike, and soul honestly pomegranate was probably part of a traveling merchant boat that got destroyed at sea, luckily souls crew was around to fish them out of the water, this mike tho wasnt interested in anything that he had to offer preferring the life of being free with his guild at sea or anywhere, he loved to entertain but staying with soul probably felt like a cage. he probably asked soul to take them to the nearest port, hes was a nice equally fun mike, but wasnt interested or too scared to commit to soul. (Wahh da one that got away) soul respects him, of course, but it cant be denied he was hurt over this. and he grew a little bitter because of it.

<cunning and soul.. - at this point 300 years passed already…pomegranate was the last mike he found and he didn't stay with him long and let him go without fighting because thats mikes choice man WHATEVER anyway, this is nortons sad emo boy era or as i like calling it weezer norton era. he became relentless, ruthless and his name was known through the seas, hes travelled the world at this point and his immortality has never failed him yet. he learned magic from patricia at one point, and now he has a crew of ghosts he necromanced into life to man his ship,- really kicking up the visuals in my head here but he has a literal ghost ship, its a physical ship but everyone on board is probably a ghost or a zombie (WHATEVERR MY AU MY WORLD BUILDING I SAY THEY EXIST.) anyway (onepiece reference i guess) when he saw cunning in one of the meetings for idk pirates or smth, tagging along with hollow (also a pirate bitch on his ass for the past years hes annoying as hell), he ws down right pISSED. (he hasnt seen a single mike reincarnation in 300 years, hes tried sleeping around getting over him, but NOTHING really compares to his soulmate.)

BUT anyway basically, in this au Hollow is looking for Alice (eternity whatever) and Soul knows where she is so he makes a bargain, he'll give Hollow Alice in exchange he gives him of of his most trusted men. (Points at cunning.) IF he gives him Alice in a pretty little bow for him, he can have cunning for himself.

Cunning is like "pft. Yeah right. You're not gonna find her before we do." And soul is just smiling (horny depressed and has been blue balled for years at this point, u don't know what this guy can do) so he just smiles.

Hollow, surprisingly agrees. "OKAY if u find her before we do I'll give my end of the bargain." Cunning is a little upset at this, but he's determined he'll find Alice before soul. (eermmm)

Soul wasn't lying about knowing where Alice was tho, so he kidnaps her and takes her to hollow. Like a sack of potatoes.

"Gimme gimme." smth like that and mike is so distraught about this he's crying, verbatim; " I don't want to be that bag of bones property- I'm not property " but he's already at souls shoulder and he's kicking and screaming. He's such a bitch in this au I LOVEE BITCH ASS CUNNING WHINEY WHORE. nortons kind of an ass here and hes sort of using him as a way to distress the last 300 years away. Before he spoils him with everything hes gotten (for mike.)

So it's just rough hostage core treatment for the first couple of months until he starts using the money he's been hoarding on mike to spoil him.

But anyway, after cunning dies in idk when, 🤷‍♂️anyway when he dies kay the next one and final one is quinlan, he's an immortal vamp/witch and hes the only mike who remembers every mike reincarnations memories, he knows that soul is out there looking for him but he doesn't care about that rn, in this life he's looking for his mom, and ignoring souls horny whale calling in the back of his mind until they inevitably cross paths BEC they are SOULLMATESS AUGRGRHSHAHAGGZ In my head the way they meet went like this "Mole."

soul looking at him in surprise bec ever since someone misheard his name being soul and he grew tired of correcting people its mole, he hasn't heard that name in years. he wasn't even sure if this was his Mike, he doesn't have the blue eyes he used to have they were more green/gold… and each mike he's met always had swifts eyes. So thats why he's like emo. Do u get it anyway, this is their reunion in the middle of an pub that cocoa bean used to run, they standing in front of each other and quin almost looks too relaxed when their EYEESS MEEETTT FUCKKK anyway, "Swift?" and theres just that LOOK thats unmistakably mikes on his face that mole just couldnt help but take him into his arms like a the sad depressed man he is. They kiss and they start sailing together forever until they turn to ashes.

THE ENDD

[grahamw1ll]

I just realized that there is a high chance, that the characters from Death Note knew mcr and listened to Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge at least once, because that album came out in 2004. I mean... the certified emo boy L just HAD to know who Gerard Way was.

[one-piece-aus]

Hii I hope your day is going well ! I was looking through your masterlist and saw your music hcs from a few years ago for the straw hats and I don't think you did the followup for supernova trio? I was wondering if i could request that myself or even music hcs for all supernovas if possible? Thank you :)

Ahoy! I sorta haven't been getting around to it like many of my other hcs and requests, but I am in the mood to do music related stuff! Also I've broaden my music tastes a lot since last time so I might need to update the Strawhats' later, but for now we're here for-

Music Genres/Artists the Supernovas Listen to (Headcanons)

Law

If your first thought is that he listens to the most edgiest emo music there is, you're absolutely right!/hj

Okay, but being real here, he's gonna be picky about the edgy music, I'd say it leans more to moody rather than depressed

Songs like that would be Something in the Way and Heart-Shaped Box by Nirvana, Paint it Black by Rolling Stones, Natural, Bones and (maybe) Enemy by Imagine Dragons, Heathens and Stresssd Out by Twenty One Pilots, Losing My Religion by R.E.M. , Crying Lightning by Artic Monkeys, Duvet by Bòa

Crazy by Gnarls Barkley was 1000% played a repeat nurmous times

Can be found at 1 am - 3 am listening and sometimes singing Wake Me Up Inside/hj

Oblivion by Dirty Palm on the other hand is played here and there but he's not too much a fan of bass songs unless he is at the club drunk and dancing all that stress & trauma off (love that one rave Law fanart )

Viva La Vida by Coldplay is a classic favorite for him

You know, he probably listens to Maneater by Daryl Hall because Dr. Heart Stealer gives those vibes

Enjoys the SIAMÉS album Bounce Into The Music but would also find comfort in their album Home

His go to genres would be soft rock or alternative rock but isn't opposed when it comes to certain pop songs like Don't You Worry Child (catch him at the right time and he will get emotional over that song)

Enjoys the older stuff & independent artists (I remember reading Law is German so many he'd like German music?)

Artists he listens to: Nirvana, Coldplay, Three Doors Down, Franz Ferinard, Artic Monkeys, The Score, Imagine Dragons, and Fall Out Boy

Kid

Metal Music

Was that not obvious?

Loves the classics

Metallica, Guns & Roses, Thrasher, Black Sabbath, Rob Zombie, Three Days Grace, Smashing Pumpkins

He enjoys rock

The Offspring, Foo Fighters, Skid Row, Rolling Stones, Finger Eleven, Ozzy Osborne, AC/DC

He enjoys some new bands like Yungbund, Blacklite District, and Goku Luck

I know there's pirate metal but he gives more viking metal vibes (does listen to both)

You know he's jamming out to the second Death Note opening & Kaiju No. 8's opening

Traitor by Daughtry and Unstable by Chaotica

He might like phonk

Says rap is crap (who's gonna tell him Goku Luck is hiphop)

Allergic to Country/serious

Is the kind of Metalhead that says Nu Metal is not Metal

Psst, can I let you in on a little secret? He secretly listens to Lady Gaga, don't tell anyone or he'll kill you

Killer

Listens to most of the stuff Kid does but also has his own tastes

Nickel Back, Coldplay, Valley of Wolves, Unsecret, Skillet, One OK Rock, Meatloaf, Opal in Sky, Okamoto, The Cranberries, and Man With a Mission

Killer is more familiar with sea shanties than Kid

He enjoys listening to Uta (Ado), his favorite song of hers would be Gira Gira because he does relate to the lyrics (he really wanted to go to her concert but the crew probably got caught up doing business on another island and missed it)

Secretly would go to a 90s pop rave, waving glowsticks as artists like 2 Unlimited blast through the speakers/silly

Is the kind of Metalhead that says Nu Metal is Metal (not in front of Kid though)

Also allergic to country/serious

Hawkins

Dark Academia and Goth Ambience

He enjoys the somber pianos, it's peaceful and helps him study

Organ pianos are pleasing to him as well, if played right

He might be able to play piano but the violin (which is another instrument he enjoys listening to) is tricky to find the rhythm he prefers

Does love classic violin yet finds the epic violin music videos on YouTube to be appealing

And if he’s not listening to that, meditation/ambiance music is playing

Unironically listens to background music from video games such as Minecraft or Genshin Impact

Moonlit Night from the Death Parade OST is one of his favorites

If you can't tell, he enjoys soothing instrumentals

Is a big fan of Tchaikovsky

Enjoys music from 90s Disney (Cinderella especially)

Absolutely listens to Phantom of the Opera! Look at this man! You can't tell me he doesn't!

Probably enjoys French love songs

Apoo

DJ Apoo is in the house and you know he's all about the funky music!

80s, 90s, 00s, 10s, and even 20s, he loves all the rave & bass boost songs

Eurodancer, Daft Punk, 2 Unlimited, it's all a bop

Hip-hop & Rap are his jam (his taste for that would not be mine so you may list them here)

Apoo is pretty organized with his playlists, being a DJ and all, has most of them separated by genre

He thinks listening to music from Anime, Movies, and Video Games is stupid (*hands you your baseball bat*)

Drake

His ass is boring

He listens to whatever is playing on the radio

Not much of a music guy so he doesn't have any custom playlists

He might be fond of a few songs that come on the radio

Music to Drake is mainly just background noise when driving

While he doesn't mind someone playing their music, he prefers if he can understand the lyrics

Drake will easily get flustered if he hears spicy songs being played, especially if someone else is there, if he’s alone he’s instantly changes the station

Bonney

Popstars by KDA

I think her taste leans to rebellious as in "Fuck you, I do what I want"

So her taste can go from Don't Threaten Me With a Good Time by Panic At The Disco, to Seven Nation Army by White Stripes

Artists she listens to on the regular would be The Offspring, Panic At The Disco, BTS(?), P!nk, Fallout Boy, Cozmez, Fake Type, UNSECRET, and Eminem

Maybe a few Kelly Clarkson songs like Stronger and Since You've Been Gone

She does not like others putting on music, you can expect her to make a fuss if you try putting on something

Auxcord hog

Bege

The Godfather OST/hj

But for real he does like Italian instrumentals

Has a taste for soft love ballets

A few French and Spanish songs are appealing to him

He doesn't like pop, hip hop, rock, metal, or rap, and doesn't understand why the youth enjoy it so much

Except for 80s J-pop, he can see the appeal for songs such as Airport Lady by Toshiki Kadomatsu or Telephone Number by Junko Ohashi

And soft rock, specially the love songs like Just The Way You Are by Billy Joel or Can't Help Falling in Love With You by Elves (he just loves his wife, guys)

Urouge

So basing this off one of his hobbies Oda has confirmed

He loves seductive music, whether it’s playing in the background or he looking for something to listen to

Most played songs is Careless Whispers

Jazz and spicy pop are his top genres

Prime examples are: Mirrors by Natalia Kills, Sway by Michael Bublé, Pause by Pitbull, One More Night by Maroon 5, Stalker's Tango by Autoheart Lent

I could make playlists for them if y'all want but for now, do what you will with these headcanons, make your own playlists ✨️

[abswrites]

sweat, chapter two - spencer reid

summary: (musician!spencer) spencer reid is living the life he always planned. studying music at his dream college, playing shows at the local dive bar, and coming home to his childhood friend-turned-lover every night. could all of that really begin to crumble under the weight of a few harsh words?

✧˖° author's note: hehehe part two babey!! thank you all for the love on chapter one - it means the world! please enjoy this slow dip into the world of angst and shitty communication between reader and spencer. spoiler alert: it's going to get worse!

✧˖° contents/tw: drinking, smoking, allusions of smut, insecure reader who isn't great at communicating (bc who is at 18?), fem!reader, college!reader, college!spencer, avery being a douchebag (what else is new), lightly proofread

✧˖° words: 3.9k

read chapter one here!!

September 12th, 2009 - Los Angeles, California

It’d been a month since Spencer and I loaded up our cars, completely filling the small, dingy interiors with boxes of books and blankets and minifridges and memories.

It was only a four-hour drive, but we’d decided to make a whole weekend of it. We stopped at gas stations, cheersing our slushies and churros. We picnicked at Death Valley, nibbling on turkey sandwiches as the sun went down over the sandy hills and valleys, the sky turning a miraculous purpley-pink as we not-so-subtly scooted closer to one another. We spent the night in a shitty motel room with less-than desirable stains on the futon. But we didn’t sleep much. 

Looking back, it was all a blur. A sweaty, awkward, endearing blur. 

Fiery and possessive kisses, flushed foreheads bumping against headboards, long and bony fingers beneath waistbands, goosebumps on bare skin, wide eyes and spread legs. 

Neither of us quite knew what we were doing, but with Spencer, it all felt good. Right. Safe. 

That first month on campus flew by. 

Every weekday was a blur full of textbooks and tea, laughing with new friends and holding back homesickness. So little time had passed, but so much had changed.

Weekends, on the other hand, stayed fresh in my mind. 

I don’t know how he did it - especially so quickly - but Spencer managed to find a group of other music students to play with him. Even more unexpectedly, he managed to sweet talk the owner of a local dive bar, The Fizz, into letting them play every other Saturday.

Everytime I stepped into the bar, it was as if it was my first time there. The smell of sweat and spilled beer attacked my nostrils first, but the soft twinkle of multicolored Christmas lights above the bar made it a little less intense. Crowds of all sorts shuffled through the doors at 9 without fail. Hipsters, underage sorority girls, emos, frat boys that reminded me a little too much of Avery, even a few professors from time to time. 

But it seemed with every show Spencer and his gaggle of musicians played, more and more people would show up.

“That was amazing!” I squealed, pressing a kiss to Spencer’s cheek as he made his way off of the stage. His skin was sweaty, salty. But I didn’t mind the taste when his smile was so big.

“That was our best show by far.” He smiled, wrapping an arm around my shoulder as his eyes widened like an excited schoolboy who’d just been gifted a puppy.

I loved seeing him like this. His eyes full of joy and contentment, his fingers calloused and red from picking each guitar string. He looked the most like himself.

“You were great, Spence.” I smiled as the rest of the band made their way off stage. All in all,  I liked them.

Well, most of them.

Of course, in true Avery fashion, he just had to “move closer to the LA music scene” shortly after Spencer and I did. When I first heard the news, it took every ounce of self-control to keep from rolling my eyes. Even now, Spencer idolized him. And even now, Avery continued to be a complete fucking tool. 

“God, five seconds offstage and you’re already sucking face? Get a room.” He scoffed.

My eyes narrowed, locking onto Avery’s. I pressed another kiss to Spencer’s lips.

Avery rolled his eyes. 

“You enjoy the show, (y/n)?” He asked one of his brows twitching upward as a cocky smile spread across his face. He was trying to get a rise out of me. 

“I liked Spencer’s part.” I said, my voice flat and devoid of any enthusiasm. Ever since Spencer and I had gotten together, Avery was even more insufferable than before. Constant remarks about us holding hands, cuddling in our apartment,  kissing goodbye. It was exhausting. 

But what infuriated me the most was his quips about our relationship “ruining Spencer’s street-cred.”

“The best bands ooze sex appeal. You can’t be a player onstage and a total lover-boy off it.” He’d say, eyeing Spencer with a know-it-all look. 

Spencer would always laugh it off, shaking his head as he took a sip from his beer.

At first, it didn’t bother me.

But as the weeks went on, as the shows grew more and more popular, I couldn’t stop myself from doing what I do best: overthinking.

Why doesn’t he ever say anything?

Although the thought was popping up more regularly, I never let it linger. 

“Why don’t we get some drinks?” Spencer asked  eager to end the tension between Avery and I. 

“Atta boy,” Avery smirked, sloppily throwing an arm around his shoulder. “Who knew Spencer was fun?”

I’ll admit, Spencer was fun when he drank. He’d dance, he’d crack stupid jokes, he’d slyly squeeze my ass under the table. He was like something out of an 80s coming-of-age-movie; the shy, uptight nerd finally letting loose.

But it was rare Spencer actually got like that. Normally, he’d have a beer -  maybe two -  if he was feeling wild. 

“Just water, please.” He gestured to the bartender.  “You want anything, babe?”

I wasn’t sure if it was the secondhand excitement from Spencer or the crowd full of other rowdy college kids, but I wanted to have some fun. More fun than water would provide, anyway. 

“I don’t know what to get.” I admitted.

Spencer smiled down at me.

“You like Shirley Temples, right?” 

I nodded.

“Just ask for a Dirty Shirley. You’ll like it, I promise.” Spencer said, gesturing to the bartender again. 

“A dirty Shirley, please.” I said, setting a few dollar bills on the bar. 

While Spencer and I usually only went out on nights that he was performing, it’s not like either of us were completely opposed to drinking. We were college freshmen, after all.

Granted, my complete and utter lack of drinking and partying in high school meant that one drink did a lot more to me than it did to Spencer. He never seemed to suffer from the side effects of overdoing it. Sure, maybe he’d have to take a tylenol and a long shower the next morning. But after that, it was as if nothing happened.

“I guess I’m just a heavyweight.” He’d say with a chuckle, stepping out of the shower,  a towel wrapped loosely around his waist as I’d be dry heaving into the empty porcelain bowl of the toilet. 

A  gruff countryman that clearly wasn’t happy to be serving these loud, overexcited college kids - handed us our drinks in plastic cups. 

After all, it was the classiest dive bar near campus. 

“Salud.” He raised his glass, tapping the plastic rim against mine. 

“To us.”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The next three hours were a blur. A fruity, fizzy, red, ice cold blur. Drops of sweat slid delicately off the side of the cup and onto my fingers each time I raised it to my lips. 

“Hey, baby.”  I said, drawing out the “y” as I stumbled  into the booth next to him, spilling some of my drink on the cheap vinyl seat. 

“Hey, baby,” He chuckled, clearly a little surprised by my demeanor. “Having fun, I see.”

Normally, I was always a little hesitant when it came to PDA. But tonight, I wanted nothing more than to cling onto him the way a koala holds onto a eucalyptus branch. 

“Mmmmhmmmm,” I purred, my lips pursed and words slurred and slow. “But my drink is almost gone.” 

His eyes darted down to the plastic cup full of ice and the tiniest bit of red liquid at the bottom.

“I think it’s gone.”

I looked down at the cup, my face falling dramatically. 

“Aw, man.”

He laughed. 

“You want another one?”

Normally, this would be the hour I’d start to grow sleepy, my eyelids drooping as I eyed the clock atop the bar shelves. 

But tonight, I felt electrified.

I wanted to dance. I wanted to sing. 

I wanted to drag Spencer by the belt loop into the bathroom, get on my knees, unzip his jeans and–

“Did you hear me?” He chuckled, tucking a loose strand of my hair behind my ear.

“What’d you say?” I asked loudly, my lips mere inches from his ear. The music just seemed so loud as the bass sent subtle vibrations through my body. I didn’t notice the fact that one of the straps of my tank top had slid off my shoulder until Spencer’s nimble fingers put it back in place. 

“I said do you want another one?”

My eyes lit up as if it was the first time he asked the question. 

“Yes, pleeeaase.”

“Alright baby, I’ll be back.” He said, pressing a chaste kiss to my cheek as he slid out of the booth.

Avery sat across from us, a perky blonde whose name I didn’t know leaning against his shoulder. A cigarette hung from his lips, the smoke adding to the hazy atmosphere of the bar. He wasn’t supposed to smoke inside. But it was Avery, after all. What else did I expect?

“Hey, Spence,” He called. Spencer turned around.

“Buy us a round of shots, too.” 

Spencer nodded, making his way through the crowd to the bar.

“We’re doing shots?” I interjected, my eyes lighting up in excitement. Yay! Drinks! 

As soon as Spencer stepped out of earshot, pushing politely through the crowd, Avery’s smirk fell and his eyes narrowed.

“Not you, You’re a mess and it’s only midnight.”

“I am not!” My brows furrowed defensively. Sure, was I a little sloppy? Maybe. But I was still upright. I was still competent. I didn’t feel sick. 

Plus, I wasn’t driving. That had to count for something. 

This time, both Avery and the blonde laughed.

“You’re wasted.” He said, eyeing me contemptuously. “And you’re ruining any chance Spencer has to let loose.”

For a second, I fell silent, only the sound of the overwhelming music filling the air. 

“What?”

“He’s too worried about making sure you don’t get too wasted to have any fun.”

Normally, I’d shake my head or roll my eyes, completely ignoring whatever snide comment he hurled my way. But this time was different. I felt my palms start to sweat. All I wanted to do was hide. Or be sober. Or both. 

Was he being serious?

“You’re so full of shit.” I said, the words coming out with more of a slur than I would have liked. 

The blonde laughed as Avery shook his head in annoyance, grabbing the cigarette from his lips.

“Babes,” She said in a thick valley girl accent as she took a long drag, blowing smoke in my face. She must be from here. The glowing tan, blonde extensions, and Playboy bunny belly ring should have given it away. “You’re wasted.” 

I looked into her bright, aqua-blue eyes. Who the hell is she?

My cheeks grew as red as the drink in Spencer’s hand as he approached, delicately balancing my cocktail and three shot glasses between his bony fingers as he slid back into the booth. 

“Alright,” He sighed. “A sweet drink for my sweet lady, and some vodka for the rest of these animals.” He set the red, fizzy drink down in front of me. 

Then, he set the first shot in front of Avery.

The second in front of the blonde.

The third in front of me.

There was nothing but a napkin and an empty coaster in front of him.

I flicked my eyes up to Avery’s. 

“Told you.” He mouthed. 

All at once, I felt sick, and not from the booze. At least, I didn’t think it was from the booze. 

Was I the burdensome girlfriend? The one that forced everyone else to sacrifice their fun for? The one that kept Spencer from riding the high of a great show? 

From an outsider’s perspective, I might look pretty tipsy, but nowhere near drunk enough to be causing a scene. If anything, I looked like every other girl in the joint; smiley, flushed, and excited. 

But Avery’s tone made me feel like I was a complete disaster; sloppy, unkempt, and embarrassing. And for whatever reason - maybe it was the fact that the random blond decided to chime in - I believed him. 

I was humiliated. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The next twenty minutes felt like an eternity. 

Spencer, Avery, and the blonde all chatted nonchalantly, talking about some new album or music video that I hadn’t gotten around to checking out yet. I tried to maintain interest in the conversation, but my body language was obvious: I was uncomfortable. My shoulders slumped forward and my fingers fiddled mindlessly with the small ring on my middle finger. The red fizzy drink sat untouched on the scratched wood of the table. 

At this point, I just wanted to go home. 

Well, I didn’t want to go home. I was actually having a pretty good time before Avery had to open his big mouth. 

I knew I could get a bit over-excited. A bit loud. A bit clingy. But before tonight, none of those things seemed bad. At least, not until Avery opened his big mouth. 

But could I really blame him? He was right. Everything about myself was too much. Too obnoxious, too sloppy, too intoxicated, too embarrassing to tolerate. 

I did my best to hide my shame, stirring the drink with a straw I’d done nothing but chew on. 

“Hey,” Spencer whispered to me, his lips only a few inches from my ear. “You okay?”

Instinctively, I nodded, forcing as genuine of a smile as I could.

I could feel the burning glare of Avery’s eyes as the blond whispered sweet nothings in his ear. 

A part of me wanted to tell Spencer what Avery said. I wanted him to know that his best friend (and whatever the blond’s name was) made me feel like I was a complete disaster for enjoying three, maybe four drinks on a Saturday night with my friends. Well, my boyfriend and his friends. 

But what would that accomplish? Avery would still be an asshole. I’d still be tipsy. Spencer would still miss out on a night of debauchery with his friends. Debauchery that, quite frankly, he was entitled to. He’d been working as hard as he could to get the band off the ground, and even harder to secure his spot on the Dean’s List. He deserved a night of carefree fun. And I was the only thing in the way of it.

“Honestly, I’m kinda tired.” I yawned to Spencer, though my eyes flicked up to Avery’s. A subtle smirk appeared on his face. My cheeks burned in anger and embarrassment.

God, I hate him.

“You want me to walk you home?” Spencer responded, his round brown eyes full of care and comfort. I wanted nothing more than to stare into them for an eternity. That always made me feel better. 

“No, don’t worry about it, I’ll just call Allie. She should be getting off work now anyways.” I lied. Allie was probably dead asleep in her own apartment, a rerun of Jersey Shore playing softly in the background. “All else fails, I can take a cab.”

Spencer’s eyes narrowed and he pursed his lips. I knew that look. He was feeling protective. 

“All by yourself?” 

“I’ll be fine.” I reassured him. He still didn’t seem convinced.

“I can call Danielle. She’ll pick her up.” Avery chimed in, almost a little too eager. His tone made it seem like he was just trying to be helpful, but I knew that he just wanted me gone so he could finally do what he came here to do: get drunk with Spencer. 

“That’d be great. Thanks.” I said, forcing a smile.

“Don’t mention it.” Avery smirked, pulling out his phone. “I’ll be back in a sec.”

As Avery walked through the crowd to step outside, I could still feel Spencer’s eyes on me.

“You sure you’re alright?” He pressed.

“Promise.” I said, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. “I just wanna get in my PJs.”

He laughed, seeming to relax a little bit. I let out a soft sigh of relief. 

“The ones with the little fish on them?” 

“Maybe. I was thinking the cheetah print ones.”

“Ooh, I love those on you.” Spencer purred into my ear. “Maybe I should ask Danielle if she’d drive me back to your place, too.”

“No,” I said before he could get the last word out. “You stay and have fun with Avery. You earned it.” I brought my hand up to cup his cheek. He brought his hand to rest it atop mine before pressing a gentle kiss to my fingertips.

“Alright. Maybe just one drink.” He smiled.

I mimicked his expression as Avery returned to the table.

“Danielle’s outside.”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The drive back was quiet, aside from the 80s rock song wafting gently from the car speakers. All I could focus on was the sight of other girls and their boyfriends walking between bars, their fingers interlocked and smiles wide. I wished that was me. 

“This it?” The sound of Danielle's voice cut through the silence, stirring me from my self-pity party as she pulled up alongside the quaint brick building I called home.

“Yeah, thanks again, D.”

She nodded, pressing the unlock button as I scooted out of her backseat and into the cool night air. She didn’t even wait for me to get to my front door before driving off. Maybe I’d annoyed her, too.

It took a little longer than normal for me to get ready for bed, the Dirty Shirleys making everything feel slow and a little fuzzy. 

I didn’t bother to put on a pair of the matching pajamas Spencer got me for my birthday. Part of me felt like I didn’t deserve them. Instead, I threw on an oversized shirt and a pair of cotton underwear before crawling into bed, hiding beneath the covers like a scared kid in a thunderstorm.

I just wanted the night to be over.

I don’t know when I fell asleep, but I remember Spencer coming home. The sound of the key unlocking the front door followed shortly by the sound of them clattering against the floor and a soft giggle. As his footsteps approached, I rolled over, pretending to be asleep, hoping the pitch darkness of our bedroom was enough to camouflage my squinty eyes.

The first thing I noticed were his clothes. The buttons on his flannel were undone a little more than normal, and his curls looked wild and untamed. 

Upon turning the bathroom light on, I caught a quick glimpse of his face. His cheeks were pink and flushed and the bridge of his nose was shiny with sweat. Most notable was the toothy grin plastered across his face as he sloppily tried to put some toothpaste on his toothbrush. 

A part of me was relieved. He had a good night with his friends after all.

But another part of me felt validated in my self-doubt.

He only had fun once I left. 

I rolled over again, forcing myself to go back to sleep. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

“Hey, baby.”

The words sounded fuzzy and far away, almost like I was underwater. 

“Baby?” The same voice repeated, a little louder and clearer.

I groaned, pulling the comforter over my eyes to block out the sunlight.

“Good morning.” Spencer chuckled, pulling the blankets down just enough so that my eyes poked out. I groaned, my eyes straining to adjust to the light streaming through the window. 

“Mmm.” I grumbled. The bed was so soft, so warm, so cozy. I didn’t want to move.

“You gotta get up, baby. It’s almost 11.” 

“A-M?”

Spencer nodded.

“Ugh, God.” I groaned, sitting up as I brushed some hair out of my face. “I slept like shit.”

As I sat up, the memories of last night flooded my mind. The sweet taste of the Dirty Shirleys, the headache-inducing smell of smoke in the air, and the gut wrenching embarrassment of feeling like a burden. I rubbed my eyes, trying to push those thoughts to the back of my mind. 

Spencer, completely oblivious to my shame, pressed a chaste kiss to my forehead before standing up and walking to the closet, pulling out two of his hoodies – one for him and one for me.

“I’m just glad you made it home safe,” He said, throwing the ratty Spring Valley High sweatshirt over his lanky chest. “I didn’t get back until almost 4.”

My eyes widened under the hoodie as the words left his lips. 4 a.m.? What could he possibly be doing out so late? This was the same boy that played chess on his computer until 10 o’clock, when he’d inevitably get sleepy and pass out on the couch, a soft snore escaping from his parted lips. 

“Oh,” I said, as nonchalantly as I could. “Did you have a good time?” My head popped out of the hole in the hoodie as I stuck my arms in the sleeves.

“I had a blast.” Spencer smiled, his eyes wide and energetic. 

It was a weird mixture of emotions. Part of me was happy he’d had such a good night letting loose, doing exactly what a normal college freshman does on a Saturday night. But my heart ached all the same. He’d had the most fun when I wasn’t there. 

“What’d you do?” 

“What didn’t we do,” Spencer chuckled, plopping back down on the bed, his arms stretched out to invite me against him. I obliged, leaning my back against his chest as he pulled the covers up once again. “We had a few drinks at The Fizz, then that blond girl Avery was with – I still don’t know her name – took us to this weird club off of Westwood. It was awesome.” 

“That’s so great,” I said instinctively. Thank god he couldn’t see my face. There was no doubt I looked like a kicked puppy.

“Yeah, it was.” He said, pulling me closer against him, resting his chin on my shoulder. “Did you have fun?”

I did. Until your piece of shit best friend made me feel like a complete loser.

“Yeah, I did.”

“Good. Maybe you can come with us after our next show? I definitely wanna go back.”

It took everything in me to hold back a grimace. 

I wanted to go. I wanted to dance and sing and party with Spencer like a couple of young and dumb kids in love. But the idea of intruding on his fun made me feel wrong. 

“Actually,” I started, turning to face him. “I can’t. I already have plans with Allie during your next show.” 

It was a complete and total lie. Allie had to work Saturdays, just like always. 

“Oh,” Spencer’s face fell a little, but he quickly composed himself. “Well, that’ll be good. You haven’t seen her in a bit, huh?”

Hallelujah. He bought it.

“Yeah,” I nodded. “I think we’re gonna have a movie night at her place. But you should still go! Have your fun.” I pressed my lips gently to his cheek, my fingers running through his curly bedhead.

“You sure?” He asked, cocking his head to the side. 

“I’m sure.” 

Spencer nodded before pulling me back against his chest, his hands lazily playing with the string of my hoodie. Once his eyes were off of me, it felt like I could breathe again. I hated lying to Spencer. But I hated ruining his fun even more. 

As his fingers fiddled with the TV remote, flipping through various channels, I snuggled against him, my body letting him think I didn’t have a care in the world.

All the while, I started thinking of excuses to miss his next shows.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

thanks for reading! i'm taking requests, so please feel free to send me whatever ideas you've got. also, i'm hoping to establish a weekly posting schedule (pending anything blowing up), so expect chapter three sometime next sunday. hope you enjoyed <333