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crescenthistory · 30 days ago

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It's Nice To Have A Friend

Pairing: Remus Lupin x Reader

Synopsis: Remus' childhood best friend is the only person he is comfortable showing unrestrained affection towards – until he one day gets in his own head about it.

Words: 14.4k

Warnings/tags: there are some suggestive remarks, brief references to "shagging" and implied underage drinking, but i would classify it as safe for minors! fem!reader, use of y/n, childhood best friends to lovers (thus you grew up in wales and use welsh terms, but you aren't said to be welsh), you are in ravenclaw (only for one plot point, not personality), platonic physical affection, romantic physical affection, kissing, "it was revealed to me in a dream" trope, some miscommunication trope, deep yearning, remus' pov (meaning loads of self-loathing and overthinking), panic attack-ish, remus cursing like a sailor and joking about jumping, kind of shy/reserved!remus, some angst, happy ending ofc, background jilypad

Note: phew this was intense but sosososo much fun to write. it is very much a fluffy fic tho, don't be worried<3 i fucking love this story/dynamic so much

It is an ill-kept secret that Remus John Lupin struggles with romantic public displays of affection.

It was something his best friends had teased him relentlessly for since the first time he was given a Valentine Day’s card in year two by a boy that he didn’t even have a crush on mind you, and became a stuttering, spluttering mess. He could still hear James and Sirius’ barks of laughter the second that Hufflepuff was out of view and could still feel the bench shake from when Peter fell off it, clutching his stomach. Remus had been sure his cheeks would be permanently dyed red from the shame.

His one friend who did not betray him in such a manner was his oldest, namely you. Remus’ sweetheart, as Sirius called you, his childhood best friend from back home who he broke the statute of secrecy for when he was too young to realise what that meant, but who thankfully turned out to be a witch too. Something you both wept tears of joy for, as you did not have to be separated when he went off to Hogwarts.

On that horrid day, you only pinched his darkening cheeks and laughed quietly – still teasing, but in a way that felt more like admiring and less like humiliating. He faintly remembers scrunching his nose at you in response, a look you immediately mirrored before you went to hide him in the crook of your neck and gave the others a faux scolding for “embarrassing poor Rem when he is wholly capable of doing so himself”.

His makeshift pack of friends kept that routine up for the rest of his school years, consisting of James and Sirius poking constant fun, Peter enjoying it all a tad bit too much, and you “protecting” him while laughing all the same. His affliction only worsened throughout his time at Hogwarts, but if one of his afflictions were to be the butt of a joke, he supposed he was grateful it was this one.

In moments like these, it was a tad bit difficult to keep that sentiment up, though.

“You should have seen the look on his face, doll!” Sirius made out through a laugh as the group made their way back from Hogsmeade.

He was recounting Remus’ dance on the Three Broomsticks dancefloor with one slightly-more-rowdy-than-normal Emmeline Vance who all but dragged him out there despite his quiet sputters. You had been off on some endless errands that Remus had passionately attempted to join you for before Sirius all but bolted him to the bench because “you owe me a round, you mangy wolf”.

“I believe I have seen it many a time, Siri,” you laughed out, yelping slightly when Remus pinched your side from where he had his arm around you. “Hey!” you scolded him half-heartedly, point diminished by your grin.

“Cheeky minx, don’t side with the devil!” Remus conspired with you through a stage-whisper while glaring at Sirius, whose laughter only doubled in intensity.

“You can’t ask me to lie for you, del,” you replied in the same tone of voice, leaning up to kiss his cheek as if to apologise for your treachery. An apology that was wholly accepted as Remus tugged you closer into his side and allowed for the laughter around him to continue with a sigh.

Because therein lies the one exception – Remus Lupin was pathetically incapable of public displays of affection, unless they were with you.

His problem with these displayals was the insinuation behind them and the attention that was brought to him because of it. If Emmeline dances with him, leaving a scandalously little amount of room between them, he knows what she wants from him and everyone else does, too. If his current romantic partner kisses him in the hallway, it is a glimpse into something that otherwise occurs behind closed doors, a reveal of his private life that he does not enjoy. He wants that part hidden, and embarrassment flares through him like a rocket at the thought that others bear witness to it – and then the flames are stoked when they notice that he knows and has enough dignity to be embarrassed, which just fuels an eternal evil cycle.

You, however – your wonderful self he has known all his life, you who refused to ever leave his side despite his lycanthropy and subsequent grumpy, isolationist persona, you who are his absolute better half and light of his life – there was no reason that affection should be hidden. There was nothing secretive nor fragile in your relationship, it was the purest thing he had ever had the pleasure of having.

There was nothing insinuative or blasphemous about it, there was nothing to be held against him. He would hold you, hug you, even kiss your shoulder, cheek and forehead, because he and all else around knew that it meant nothing more. It was nothing out of the norm, nothing for others to point out and bring attention to. There was no glance into something hidden away, there was no line being overstepped. It was just two best friends, aware and proud of how much they meant to one another.

So Remus never had any hesitations about leaning into your touch, about seeking yours out, about lips identifying exposed skin and staying there for a moment or two. It was something he began doing before he truly knew what embarrassment entailed, it was muscle memory as much as instinct these days.

And if others did not understand it fully, that was an issue Remus for once felt no confinement to public opinion on. If people made assumptions or threw glances, it held no importance to him. Even his Marauders, Sirius especially, raised their eyebrows at your proximity when you all first met, but they understood the routine of it all quickly. That these two first years before them were a package deal in every form of the word. It was quickly accepted within your little pack, albeit fondly commented on every now and again. James had Sirius in that same unrestrained way, bodies strewn across each other at any given opportunity, so why couldn’t Remus have you? Why wouldn’t he?

Never mind that Sirius was officially brought into James and Lily's relationship at the end of last term.

“Well, James would hug anything that moved and seemed like it might need it.” Sirius had argued one night many years ago, not needing to add the and I need it.

“And isn’t that lovely for Prongs,” Remus had drawled in return. “But I need a few years to get there, and Y/N happened to be more strategic than you lot.”

“By knowing you first?”

“Precisely. Also, she’s lovelier than you.”

It had earned him a snort and a pillow to the face, but it was accepted without further questioning. With the exceptions only occurring in a drunken babble here and there from Sirius, alone in their dorm after a party. Remus is quite certain he couldn’t string together a coherent sentence if his life depended on it in those states, and so he never took it to heart.

Remus revelled in having something of his own, someone only he understood on that level, and his heart always warmed when he thought about how lucky he was that that someone was you.

He subconsciously pulled you even closer at that thought, content and comfortable to do so whether that be around his marauders or in front of the whole Great Hall; there was nothing more to it to be embarrassed of. It was just you; just Y/N and Remus. Like always.

“You occluding yourself away from your menace of a dorm mate?” you whispered to him then, and he angled his chin down slightly with a smile to find you looking at him curiously.

“Oh, yeah,” Remus agreed with a solemn nod. “Must prepare for being locked up in a room with him all night. It’s tedious work, you know?”

“Most certainly.” You attempted to match his faux severity, but a giggle escaped you nonetheless – a beautiful one that Remus decided to mentally save for the night, should Sirius become unbearable.

Speaking of; “I take great offence to that,” Sirius proclaimed from the few strides ahead he was, pointing his finger in Remus’ direction without turning around. “Dog-like hearing, Moony, don’t think you can get away with badmouthing me here!”

“Dog-like he says,” Remus whispered to you, earning him an indignant “oi!” as Sirius finally turned around.

“Gorgeous, would you tell your worse half to knock it off?”

“I sure will,” you declared, turning your body more towards Sirius in Remus’ grasp. “Siri, sweetheart, would you knock it off?”

Within the second, Sirius’ offended expression transformed into one of giddiness. “Awe, princess, you think of me as your other half?”

“Worse half, Pads,” James interjected, looking over his shoulder bemusedly.

“Do keep up,” Remus added with a half-hearted glare.

“Irrelevant!” Sirius threw his hands up and spun around in celebration. “I have won the title of her other half, you can get lost Moons.”

Remus used his arm around your shoulders to angle you back away from Sirius. “I think not. I’ve been keeping this friendship for so long, she’ll need a lawyer to get rid of me,” he stated matter-of-factly, looking down at you at the last bit. “Capiche?” He tilted his head at you.

You hummed through a poorly-withheld smile, as if you were considering it. “Sure thing, cariad. Meet with our lawyers tomorrow after lunch?”

Remus gasped as you ripped out of his grasp and stuck your tongue out at him. Flashbacks of your younger days chasing each other down dirt roads came to his mind and widened his grin as he saw you back away from him, eyes trained on his expression.

“Minx,” he breathed out through a laugh just before you sat off running away from him; Remus hot on your heels, laughter escaping him freely. Sirius began running with you, though he was slowed as he twirled around and hollered, surely waking the entirety of the mountaintops surrounding the castle.

James had been minding his own business for once as he engaged in quiet conversation with Lily and Pandora, but his eyes twinkled as he eyed his three running friends, exchanging a knowing look with the redhead.

“Young love,” Pandora sighed dreamily, though James could never be certain if she was looking at the loud, carefree forms before them or at something entirely different.

Remus saw you stopped running while still some dozens of metres away from the castle, still facing away from him, but arms opening to accommodate for the impending crash of his body against yours. It does something funny to his heart to think about, but he just lets it widen his smile as he did exactly as expected – let his arms loop around your waist and twirl you around as he caught up to you.

Your out-of-breath giggles permeated into his ears as his face was tucked in between your neck and shoulder as he slowed down, laughter calming in his own chest.

“Caught you,” he whispered through his own breathlessness. “Happy now?”

You turned in his grasp, squeezing at his shoulders both to show affection and seemingly to steady yourself as your chest still heaved; Remus held you tighter to help you in the latter endeavour. “Shook off Sirius for a bit, so yeah, I am. As should you be.”

He dropped his head laughing at that, glancing behind him through his hair to see Sirius bent over, hands on his knees as James had already caught up to him and was patting his back in sympathy. Any other time of the month, Remus would likely have been right there with him, but this was a good week and you always seemed to be able to find some semblance of energy within him, even if he thought he had none.

“I take back my calling you minx, then.” He looked at you with a smile. “That was strategic.”

“Are you saying minxes can’t be strategic, Loopy?” You raised your eyebrows at him teasingly, pulling slightly out of his grasp to breathe better.

“I’m saying– don’t call me Loopy.”

Your smile became almost taunting at that, and Remus knew his comment likely only worsened the likelihood of you using that nickname now. “I just remembered how I used to call you that the other day actually,” you mused, putting on an innocent smile. “I don’t remember why I stopped, I just forgot about it. I think it might be time for a renaissance.”

“I think I’m too out of breath for you to say things like that. I can’t chase you any further, but that deserves to be chased.”

You shoved lightly at his shoulder at that. “You’re getting too old, you’re no fun.”

“I’m super fun. Textbook definition,” Remus harrumphed, gleaning when you rolled your eyes through a burst of laughter.

“No one who references textbook definitions is fun, Moons!” James called from where the group was catching up to you two, finally within earshot.

Sirius was practically draped across James’ shoulder, breath still coming heavy. He pointed yet another accusatory finger, this time at you. “You’ll be the death of me, dollface. Merlin’s tits.”

“Don’t blame me for your own inadequacy, gorgeous,” you quipped back. It made Remus rather proud, especially when Sirius groaned dramatically in response.

“Time to get some beauty sleep then, yeah?” James coaxed, giving Sirius’ cheek a peck as he continued effortlessly dragging him in through the entrance of the castle.

Lily hummed in agreement, poking one of her boyfriends in the side. “Yeah, Sirius seems to need it.”

“You think I’m so sexy, Red, don’t lie to yourself,” Sirius mumbled, petulantly remaining worn out over James’ shoulders.

Remus smiled at his friends, hand reaching out behind him blindly, knowing you’d find it. Surely enough, your fingers intertwined with his own and gave him a little tug to hasten his gait down the hallways.

Moving up the staircases with surprisingly little trouble, the group finally found themselves outside the portrait of the Fat Lady, ready to split up with you and Pandora heading to Ravenclaw and the rest clambering inside.

You made your goodbyes, quick hugs and kisses on cheeks with Lily and James and a kiss to the hand from Sirius who had decided to lay down dramatically on the floor. When you turned to Remus at last, just a tad bit away from the others, he enveloped you in a warm hug, breathing you in as he settled his chin on your shoulder.

“Let me walk you?” he asked, already knowing you would say no.

“Nice try Loopy, but I’d rather you go inside to the warmth and head to bed,” you murmured into his neck. “Thank you, though.”

You always said no. He always asked, anyway. Sometimes, if he was feeling particularly protective or otherwise missed you too much, he’d go with you anyway. Today he decided to respect your wishes.

“Tell me again why you had to be an independent person and get sorted into your own house?” he grumbled against you, smiling when he felt your chest rumbling beneath him. That same smile softened when your grip on him grew just the slightest bit tighter.

“Something tells me you’ll survive.”

He tightened his hold on you in turn, one arm around your waist and the other stabilising your neck, before he spun your body around twice, twirling along the hallway. He relished in the laughter that escaped you and ensured to stamp a proper kiss to your hair before he released you back down to the floor.

“Sleep well, dove.”

“Goodnight, cariad,” you said through a soft smile, giving him and the others a small wave before turning around to where Pandora was waiting, grabbing her hand as you two all but skipped down the hallway together.

With his eyes still glued on your disappearing form, Remus nearly yelped as James’ hands came up to settle roughly on his shoulders – albeit somewhat careful of his joints – steering him through the now-opened portrait, who was rambling on with complaints about students taking up the space in front of her for too long.

“Funny that,” James started.

Remus gave him a puzzled look. “What, Prongs?”

“Just that you danced with one Ravenclaw at the Three Broomsticks for two minutes and gained the colour and conversational skills of a tomato; but when you twirl and kiss this Ravenclaw, all you’re left with is that goofy grin of yours.” James’ comment seemed off-handed, said over his shoulder as they walked through the empty common room.

“First of all, it’s Y/N we’re talking about and not some Ravenclaw,” he started, confusion laced in his voice. In the meantime, James and Sirius kissed Lily goodbye, the latter giving her bum a light tap as she moved up the stairs to the girls’ dorms. “Secondly, it’s Y/N. She’s my best friend, and one of yours, mind you. What’s there to go all tomato for?”

“Some would argue, there is never any reason to go all tomato,” Sirius taunted, ducking the smack Remus aimed towards him.

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” James laughed, literally waving it off. “Just pointing out the parallel. Ironic, innit?”

“Don’t see why it would be,” Remus grumbled petulantly in return. Sirius reached up to ruffle his hair somewhat roughly before entering their dorm, where Peter was already waiting for them, tucked into bed.

“What’re we laughing about tonight, fellas?” he questioned without looking up from the magazine he was reading through. Remus was fairly certain he had seen Mary reading through that very same magazine last week.

“Oh just at Remus’ peculiarities with birds.” Sirius felt emboldened with his comment from where he was crouched behind his bed – ample distance to protect him from Remus, he surely gathered.

“So, nothing new? Nice.” Peter returned his attention to the magazine it never really left.

“Yeah, don’t worry Pete – your friends are just as big arseholes as on any other day.” Remus bent down to pat the boy on the shoulder before moving over to his own bed, between Peter and Sirius’.

“Hey, I don’t mean to be an arsehole,” James complained with almost a full pout across his lips within a second of Remus’ comment. “We’re just having a bit of fun psychoanalysing you, s’all.”

“Which, of course, is a generally accepted polite thing to do.” Remus nodded as if he was gravely understanding, only flipping James off when the other boy didn’t catch his sarcasm.

“No, Remmy, what would be rude is to point out how you are desperately–” Sirius began with taunting mirth plastered all over his face, but he was cut off as James all but jumped on him to cover his mouth.

The black haired boy looked up at his boyfriend first with some offence and then a look Remus didn’t want to witness.

“How about we leave poor Moony alone for the night, huh baby?” James questioned, moving his hand away from Sirius’ mouth as the other boy nodded almost dumbly, still staring up at him.

“Who’s turning red now?” Remus whispered to himself as he looked through his trunk for his pyjamas. He barely had the reflexes to catch the pillow Sirius hurled at him, tossing it back with a loud laugh that was quickly reciprocated by his best mates.

As if a miracle had been awarded them by some forgiving gods, the boys’ dorm room quieted down fairly quickly after that. Sirius and James settled in Sirius’ bed for the night, barely fitting themselves onto the mattress that was almost too small for one boy, let alone two. Once in each other’s arms, however, it was an easy thing to drift off. Peter was asleep before the other three had even brushed their teeth.

Remus was the only one tossing. Not unusual, but he couldn’t really understand why that was tonight.

His sleep cycle often closely followed the moon’s, and he was almost two weeks away from the full moon, a perfectly decent time for falling and staying asleep. Tonight, though, his body was once more fighting him. He kept replaying the night, the conversations, the interactions, trying to pin his unrest on something. He supposed that dance with Vance had been unexpected and the adrenaline spike of all the attention following it might still linger and make sleep evade him.

Despite what his dismay for public romantic displays might indicate, Remus was no prude. As a matter of fact, just as Sirius had before he was locked down, Remus was no stranger to making his rounds at the occasional common room party. Rarer was it that he shagged anyone back home, as he spent most of his time with you, but it had happened here and there too. Vance and him had even spent a night together once at a quidditch afterparty, but he had no significant interest in her apart from a mutually understood night of fun. He never really did, even when his partners were great in all capacities. It just didn’t seem that romance was an object for Remus – and good riddance, if the struggles of dealing with it so far was any sign.

Perhaps that was it then, dancing with Vance had rehashed something for him. Though the idea didn’t settle well in his bones, Remus also knew that he would never settle if he didn’t give his mind an excuse for his sudden restlessness.

After checking the time with a hefty sigh, he decided to throw in the towel and took a small sip of a sleeping draught potion he had at the ready in his bedside table at all times. If sleep would not come to him, he would hunt it down damn it. His friends’ playful mockery and a dance he didn’t even want to partake in would not cause him any more torment.

As Remus slipped into the land of dreams, he may come to regret that sentiment, if but a bit.

There are warm bodies pressed uncomfortably close to him – the warmest of which has her arms around his neck, one hand scraping through his hair. It should feel good, Remus enjoys when his hair is played with, but this feels sharp enough to draw blood. Emmeline’s laugh is all he can make out over the chatter and stomping around him, but it feels wrong, scratchy like a record player. Her fingers on him are cold, unlike anything else in the room.

It is spinning. The room, that is. Remus is unfocused, as if he had been shooting vodka and not butterbeer earlier. He can’t quite make out any of his friends, or anyone really, Emmeline’s features bleeding out into the background.

For some reason his heart is pounding the way it does before his transformation. Everything feels painfully wrong and he is aware of every inch of his body where Emmeline is touching him.

She is still laughing and Remus is sure it would make his ears bleed, which only confuses him further because Emmeline is truly a nice girl. Just not one he wants to feel flush against himself at the moment.

He reaches a hand up to touch his ear – realising only now that his arms are hanging limply by his sides, the only static thing in the otherwise spinning room – and when he retracts his hand to look at it, his fingers are coated with blood.

His breathing grows ragged as he feels the blood running down the side of his neck. He has half a mind to tell Emmeline, to shout for help. He doesn’t. Nothing comes out when he tries to open his mouth, all control of his body ripped from his grasp.

With no warning he realises the wetness on his neck is not blood, but someone’s open mouth smearing kisses down it with reckless abandon. His stomach ties in knots and he wants to push Emmeline off of him, still to no avail.

Her grip on him tightens painfully, and Remus swears he feels a bone break. He would know.

The flurry behind her has just become a swirl of colours and sounds to him and Remus feels himself drowning in a moment he desperately wants away from. He shuts his eyes hard, taking deep breaths, trying to calm himself.

He feels a warmth in his chest, starkly different from the heat around him, that slowly, like thawing ice, begins to spread throughout him. He hums the melody you sang to him during his first ever panic attack, the sweet one that always lulls him to sleep, and the warmth spreads faster.

With his eyes still screwed shut, Remus begins to regain the feeling in his legs first, noticing them swaying back and forth to some calmer, unknown rhythm.

The feeling in his hand returns too, and it’s clasped around someone else's. Theirs is also warm, light and fits much better in his, though he’s not quite sure what he’s comparing it to.

The front of his body is warmer than the back as he’s pressed up against someone, swaying with them in a slow dance that would never have worked in the middle of Three Broomsticks. It flows with his soul.

At last, Remus can hear again, as if coming up from water. He hears that it was not him humming, but rather a soft figure tucked under his chin, humming the vibrations of the melody against the side of his neck.

When he tightens his arms instinctively, he does not need to open his eyes to know it is you.

He does anyway, looking down at you, standing in his arms, swaying together in an empty Gryffindor common room. There is a lazy smile on your lips as you look up at him, cheek against his chest, eyes twinkling like the starlight.

Remus feels right. Remus feels good. His thoughts are honey, sweet but slow, coating over any coherent reactions he might have to standing here with you like this. He escaped and he is with you and all is right once more.

Have you danced like this before? Did it feel like this then?

You seem unpuzzled, relaxed. The warmth settles in Remus for good.

“Hey handsome,” you whispered, as if you were sharing a secret with him before angling your face more up towards his.

Remus is not in charge of his body when his neck dips down and lets his lips meet yours halfway, casual and expectantly, a habit as much as a wish. You taste like yourself. You smell like yourself. Remus is surrounded by you, cornered by your smile against his lips.

You pull back all too quickly, furrowing your brows at him. Dream-Remus has no hesitation of removing the hand from around your back to thumb at the furrow, brushing away any negative thoughts from you. He kisses the spot between your eyebrows.

Everything is right.

When his eyes meet yours again, the concerned look in them has not changed. You reach a tentative hand up to his cheek, thumb swiping over his cheekbone as you hold him with what he irrevocably knows to be love.

“It’s time to wake up, cariad,” you said with a small sad smile.

The last thing Remus remembers is the feeling of the floor disappearing beneath him.

Remus sat up with a gasp, and for a rare moment in time he was speechless.

He was not a stranger to invasive, questionable or downright spiritual dreams, a side effect of both his connection with the moon and the tons of potions he has taken over the years. Usually, he is present in his dreams and acts as his own little commentator during and after them, narrating what happens and what he thinks of it.

It was not uncommon for him to think “I think I will remember this one” as the final thought in a dream. Or when he wakes up in tears, his first thought was often “that was a bit dramatic of you, calm down”.

Now, he had nothing. Now, he was speechless.

Worse yet, usually when he wakes up with a jolt, it is in the middle of the night – but now, as his senses began to trickle back in, he could hear the commotion around him that only could mean the boys are at various stages in the process of getting ready.

Remus Lupin had just had a life-altering, earth-shattering dream, and James Fleamont Potter was repeatedly knocking his knee into his nightstand as he jumped around while tying his shoes on, instead of sitting down to do it like a normal person would.

He thought James was saying something, and maybe even to Remus specifically, but he could still hear the blood rushing through his head. Beneath that again, he could hear your humming.

With a groan, Remus let himself topple over from his sitting position to land face-first into his duvet.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. What the fuck?

“Oi!” Remus finally heard, as what felt like a rolled up pair of socks hit his head. “What in Godrick’s name has gotten into you, mate? You good?” It was Sirius voice calling, seemingly from across the room.

Remus just groaned in reply. His eyes were wide open as he stared directly into his sheets, feeling both freezing cold and like his brain was slowed by a fever.

“You okay, Moons?” Peter’s voice came gentler from beside him. Remus thought his hand might be hovering near him, as if he was considering consolingly patting him but was unsure if he should.

Another groan.

“Okay, what about this: groan once if this is Moony mooning over something and twice if you’re in actual crisis,” James suggested, not unkindly.

A singular groan, though it sure did feel like two.

“Groan once if you’re a prick and twice if you’re insufferable,” Sirius felt the need to comment.

Instead of making any further sounds, Remus wrangled his arm from beneath the blanket to show Sirius how he felt about him in the moment with a gesture.

“Fantastic!” James exclaimed. “You have class in 35 minutes, Moons, and breakfast now, so best get a move on.” Remus heard the telltale sound of James leaving – as in, James’ heavy footsteps moving across the floor and Sirius scrambling like a dog to follow after him. At the complete lack of sounds in the rooms after that, he assumed Peter moused after them as well.

At last Remus sat up with a sigh and stared emptily in front of him, mind moving too fast for him to catch a thought but too slow for him to properly process anything.

What does this mean?

Except Remus could no longer deny that he knew what it meant. That the instant your humming caressed his ears, he knew what it meant. That his subconsciousness wanted to replace a girl who saw him as a romantic prospect in a place Remus felt queasy in with you in a place he considered home. That is no coincidence.

And that when you kissed him–

Except you did not kiss him. Remus shook his head at that, as if the thoughts could just tumble out of his ears. You did not kiss him and he did not kiss you. Because this was a dream, it was not real and Remus must just be really, really unwell.

He felt unwell, but not in the way he was trying to convince himself.

Taking one deep breath, Remus looked to the awning of their little dormitory and shot out a silent prayer for any higher power to listen.

Put me back together, I cannot fall apart like this.

Bury this back down deep, I cannot feel like this.

It was going to be a long day.

─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───

By the time Remus had made it to the entryway to the Great Hall, feeling frazzled and less put together than he had an excuse to, he saw his group of friends making their way out.

“Rem!” It was you who caught sight of him first, and immediately beelined towards him, the others following closely behind, wearing varying degrees of concern and confusion as they looked him up and down.

Your face was by far the most concerned, as you immediately brought your left hand up to cup his cheek. “Are you alright, cariad?”

For the first time in your almost two decades of friendship, Remus was painfully aware of your physical proximity.

He always knew, of course, but it never really registered with him – it was completely natural. Right now, nothing about him felt natural. You stood flush with him and he felt you against him like a fire, skin singeing beneath his clothes. Your eyes seemed so big looking into his that he could get lost in them, his only internal monologue being a dreamy sigh and a long string of curse words at the absolute madhouse chaos that his mind was becoming. As he looked at you, it was like he could see his version of you from his dream as well, how you looked at him with so much love and admiration, how your lips inched closer to his.

“Mate?” Remus realised then, that he had been staring at you for far too long, not answering your question, to the point where James had to try to catch his attention.

“I– uh,” Remus sputtered, eyes flickering wildly all over your face, panic rising in his chest as he realised he could not think clearly with you so close.

He took a step back without thinking, just barely out of your grasp but still close, and shook his head. “Sorry, yeah, no, yes, I just feel a bit… off today.”

The furrow between your brows deepend, and once more his mind flashed back to his dream. His hand twitched. It seemed like you weren’t even aware of it when you took a step closer, to be back by his side, reaching your wrist up to place it on his forehead to feel his temperature. “You’re feeling poorly?” you whispered so quietly and so lovingly Remus thought he might faint.

Was it always like this? It was always like this. Why was he freaking out about it then? He was freaking out. What the fuck was wrong with him?

With horror, Remus realised that a slight blush was creeping up his neck, and he fought hell to keep it down as he cleared his throat. “Just a little, uh, dove, it’s nothing to worry about.”

“Do you want to go lay down?” You began what he knew would be a string of suggestions for things to do to make him feel better, and he could not stand watching you be so concerned when he was lying to you.

Almost like a flinch, he pulled back out of your arms – properly this time, taking several strides backwards away from the group. It barely registered with him that James and Sirius were looking at him with some confused amusement while Lily looked sympathetic.

“I, erm, will be fine, yeah? Nothing to worry about.” Without properly looking, he reached an arm out to grab Peter by the shoulder and all but manhandled him to his side. “Peter and I have Herbology now, but uh, I’ll catch you later?”

Remus hated how everything he said sounded like a question, like he was running a lie by you for you to confirm if it was believable. Remus hated that he couldn’t tear his gaze away from your face for more than a few seconds and most of all he hated that he was spiraling under the weight of your gaze in turn. A horrible combination.

“Take care, Rem,” you whispered as he all but ran away from you, hauling Peter along.

You stood looking after him for a moment, only turning your head when you felt Lily’s reassuring hand on your shoulder to find a small smile on her face.

“What in the buggering hell was that?” Sirius questioned, looking mostly at you for an answer.

“I don’t know,” you said, honestly. Had you known, you might still not have told him, though, if you thought Remus wouldn’t want you to. “I usually always know about his moods before they come, but this has me stumped,” you murmured, mostly to yourself.

“He woke up weirdly,” James mused, rubbing his hand across his chin. “I guess we’ll just see where the day goes, yeah?”

The four of you nodded at each other, but you still gnawed on your lip in concern, glancing over your shoulder to where he disappeared.

Whatever it was, you hoped he would come talk with you about it when he was ready.

─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───

Remus only had one hour to compose himself during Herbology before he had Charms with you. Sharing most of his classes with you was something he had always considered a blessing, and while that sentiment would likely never fade, it was also causing him some distress as he almost toppled the work desk with his jittering.

Peter didn’t question him, but Remus’ obvious nerves were apparently contagious for the anxious boy who jittered right along with him, casting him the occasional glance.

Letting his elbows fall heavily on the desk, Remus put his head in his hands and ignored the instructions Professor Sprout was walking them through – he would let Peter pick up the slack for once and then subsequently accept the lower marks. Right now, Remus had to think and get his shit together.

He breathed his way through some panic exercises and pictured you in his mind. It almost brought a smile to his lips in an instant and for the first time, he let the realisation of how irrevocably wrecked for you he was.

Has it always been like this? Why have I never put this into words before? How can I revert back?

In that moment, Remus decided two things. Firstly, there was no possibility of you returning his feelings nor would he ever expect you to. It was true that you accepted and loved him in a way he never could quite believe himself deserving of, but that in itself is testament that it couldn’t be any more. What you gave him was already too much, it would be unthinkable for you to harbour even deeper feelings for him.

Second, and most importantly, he could not lose you. Remus has made many mistakes in his time, but he could not live with himself if he lost you. It would be too much. Because regardless of the fact that he now knew he was– that he now knew what he knew, the friendship between you was the most important thing. It was Remus and Y/N, right?

He could not be weird and sputtering, he could not make you uncomfortable. Meaning, he could not withdraw from you despite his instinct to run and hide. Shame burned within him at the thought that even if he could withdraw he didn’t know if he could fight his want not to. You were muscle memory.

Remus opened his eyes and slowly dragged his palms down his face in resolution. He would have to act as if nothing was wrong, and he would have to lie through his bloody teeth to explain away whatever bodily reactions he has.

If he starts stammering, he will have to shut up and lie that he is tired. If he becomes an embarrassing shade of auburn, he will have to cough and lie that he might be coming down with a fever. If he shakes, it is because of lack of sleep. If he, Merlin forbids, cries, he will have to claim he must be coming down with some odd moonsickness. You will surely follow him to Madam Pomfrey and maybe it will be easier when you’re alone.

Or maybe it will be worse.

No matter which it was, Remus would have to soldier it, for your sake. You did not deserve his imposing infatuation, but you also did not deserve to lose what you thought to be a loyal friend.

When him and Peter packed up the barely-used desk and mumbled a goodbye to a disapproving Sprout in the door, Remus made it his mission to focus on his breathing again as he almost ran down the hallways to where your friend group always met up outside the Charms classroom.

Be normal, be normal, be normal.

Your eyes found him the second he rounded the final corner, almost as if you had been watching it, waiting for him. A beautiful smile lit up on your face as soon as you saw him, albeit a bit dampened by the worry in your eyes – he simultaneously wanted desperately to soothe you while also berating himself for it being there. His fault.

“Hey dovey.” He forced his words to be casual, his smile to be measured as he strode up beside you.

This is where he is supposed to drag you into a sideways hug, squeezing your hips while dropping a kiss on the top of your head, causing Sirius to make some quip about “you were literally just gone an hour. He stood beside you perhaps a beat too long before he began to do so with shaking hands, and he felt your burning look as you studied him. Remus made it all the way up to where he would kiss your head before he chickened out due to the tornado screaming in his stomach.

“Hi, Rem,” you all but whispered, your words just for him. You opened your mouth to say more, but he was afraid of what it would be.

“Waited long?” he asked to distract you from it.

“Nah,” you said and leaned further into his side. “But I’m glad you’re here now. How’re you feeling?”

At that, he saw Peter, Sirius, James and Lily – who had been stuck in their own little world – look up and try to hear what he has to say. Remus crumbled under their watchful gazes, knowing they knew him well enough to pick apart his every little reaction. He cleared his throat.

“I don’t really know,” he settled for. “My head’s murky, didn’t sleep well.”

You made a soft cooing sound and started rubbing circles on the side of his hip from where your arms were circled around him. It knocked a wave of dizziness into him that made him want to take a step back to lean against the cold stone wall behind you. In replacement he settled for holding onto you tighter; it only made it worse.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go lay down? Merlin knows we won’t be missing out on anything with the way Flitwick rambles away any sense he might have.”

This is where Remus would laugh heartily at your obvious disdain for the professor that he never truly understood. Instead, his mind zeroed in on one word you said.

We. We, we, we, we.

Circe’s tits, did he want to take you up on that.

He swallowed, acutely aware that you must have heard the sound when stood so close to him, though you didn’t give away any reaction. To buy himself a moment to collect his thoughts, Remus finally dared tilt his chin downwards to kiss the top of your head. It might have been too slow, too tentative, but his heart was beating so fast the rest of his body felt too slowed down in comparison. He hoped you thought the kiss was a thank you for caring and not the nervous stall it was. He hoped he wouldn’t be eternally damned for breathing in the scent of you.

“I’m quite alright, dove,” he murmured instead, furiously avoiding the surely questioning gazes of his other friends. “Thank you, though.”

You grumbled some but didn’t push him on it. He silently thanked you for that, too.

His throat was too parched to partake in the silent banter amongst his friends as you walked into Charms, too focused on where your bodies brushed as you walked, too deafened by the sound of your laughter.

You sat down in your regular spots, you and Remus side by side in the front, with Sirius and James behind you and Lily and Mary to your right. This was normal, this was alright. Flitwick droned on about the theoretics and debates around the charms you learned last lesson, it went in one ear and out the other.

Absentmindedly, you had grabbed Remus’ hand lightly between yours and were tracing soothing circles along his wrist and palm. You meant so well, and this would have cured likely any other ailment Remus struggled with, but right now there were fireworks going off in his head.

Taking advantage of the notice Dumbledore had given all of his professors to not call Remus out on sleeping in class, he folded his arms and laid his head down on them, carefully not to take his hand away from you. If he could shield his face, he could probably talk himself down before class ended.

In the solitude of his arms, he could picture it was just the two of you, sitting in the treehouse you built between your houses as children. If he focused enough, he could smell the apples that grew around him and feel the rough wood beneath his stomach. There, your hand would still be in his, maybe even your cheek on his chest, and it would be alright. It would all be alright because it was just you, and Remus could play dumb and he would never have to realise his feelings and fuck himself over.

It almost worked. Until he was interrupted.

“Psst! L/N?” The whisper was laced with a laughter Remus knew too well and did not care for.

You clearly ignored it – Remus could practically see the eye roll you surely threw his way – but that wasn’t enough to stop his theatrics.

“L/N!” Barty called once more from a couple seats behind you to your right, voice threatening to alert Flitwick to your inattention. “What’s wrong with your dog?”

“What?” you whispered back in equal parts confusion and irritation.

“Your puppy, Lupin,” Barty said, as if it was obvious. Unfortunately, Remus could picture his eye roll too, though his stomach was turning for a wholly different reason. “What’s wrong with it?”

“Remus is quite alright, Junior,” you hissed back, hand tightening on Remus’ at the same time as he loosened it. “And don’t call him a dog.”

Remus slowly lifted his head from his arms and took back his hands to wipe harshly at his face, still not looking towards Junior who barked a low laugh.

“Follows you around like one. Wouldn’t surprise me if you had some invisible leash going on–” Barty quipped, cutting himself off before you could respond and turning to Evan Rosier sitting beside him. “Oooooh, an invisible leash is a marvellous idea, Rosie.”

It was clear you had lost his attention, but Remus’ face still burned painfully as he shifted in his seat. With a harrumphing sound, you turned to look at him. He didn’t meet your eye, couldn’t.

“Ignore him.” Remus always marvelled at how you manage to convey your frustration and care at the same time.

He just hummed in the affirmative, still wiping a bit harshly at his face. If he treated it harshly enough, could he blame his violent flush on it?

“Cariad,” you mumbled, gently taking his hands away from his face, clearly spotting his efforts.

He saw your furrowed eyebrows looking at him, and that was the end of what he could take for the lesson. As you opened your mouth, surely to inquire about how he is, like the beautifully kind person he knows you to be, he pushed his chair backwards.

“I think I should probably listen to you and go lay down, dove,” he murmured, avoiding your gaze. Before you could shoot in and say you would come with him, he continued. “Can you please take notes for me in Transfiguration after this?”

An indirect rejection, a plea for isolation. He didn’t look at your face as he gathered his things, waiting for you to respond instead.

“Sure, if that’s what you want,” you said carefully.

What I want is you.

“Yes, please.” Taking a deep breath, he leaned forward and pressed a parting goodbye kiss to your cheek, tradition. “Thank you, love.”

Then he was sneaking his way out around the desks, barely catching a murmured voice he knew to be Sirius’, likely leaning forward to ask you about him. His lips singed.

─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───

Remus hid away in his room for two hours, actually being truthful and trying to get a nap in. The dorm room felt serendipitous, being swept up in rare silence and a grace of darkness as he trickled in and out of consciousness. If he dreamed more of you, he would not admit it.

Any semblance of reprieve he might have chased down was ripped away from him by the creaking of the door and the wall of sound that followed his three favourite boys who always got on his last three nerves.

“Oi, Moons!” Sirius exclaimed, far too cheerily. “You know the rules!”

Remus propped his head up on his elbow from where he was sprawled on his stomach, looking blearily at the three figures as they situated themselves within the dorm. “The rule to not wake a sleeping sod? Yes, I’m the only one who knows that rule it seems.”

Sirius took off his sweater as he discarded his uniform and used it to swat at Remus. “Nope! No wallowing on your own. Sharing is caring.”

“‘M not wallowing,” Remus grumbled as he let his head fall back into his pillow.

Letting his guard down was undoubtedly a mistake because the second Sirius was out of sight, he had the audacity to jump into Remus’ bed, nearly flinging him off from the impact. Both Sirius and James were laughing boisterously as Sirius collapsed on top of Remus and ruffled his hair when he tried to shove him off. “Not anymore, no, we won’t let you.”

Remus hated that he loved them.

“Precisely,” James added as he pointed at Remus from where he was changing into his non-uniform clothes as well. “So either speak your mind or perk up, buttercup.”

Remus groaned but let Sirius drag him up into a sitting position. “Can a poor lycanthrope not have one off day without you lot getting your knickers in a twist?” Despite his best efforts, there was no ire in his voice.

“Nope!” James said, popping the p. “Not on our watch.”

“Life is simply miserable without our Moony,” Sirius said, clutching his chest as if he was ailing. “And do you have any idea how weird it is to see your sweetheart without you by her side? It’s like watching a cut up picture.”

All humour that had been creeping into Remus’ expression was washed away in and instant as he swallowed harshly, suddenly averting his gaze from Sirius. Instead, James caught it, who looked at him with big eyes behind his glasses, cocking his head to the side. He looked far too much like the stag he is, before his mouth opened in a small gasp. “Oh,” he whispered softly.

Remus’ heart was beating painfully hard at the look of realisation that crossed his face, turning back to Sirius who had a similar knowing, almost pitying look in his eyes. No, no, no, no.

“I’ll be fine, you, erm, won’t have to live without me much longer,” Remus tried to volley back, just a few seconds too late, tongue feeling heavy at being found out.

If his best mates could see through him that quickly, then you probably already had. He had half a mind to take you up to the Astronomy Tower like old times, so he could apologise and then jump off as an act of redemption.

Sirius gave his shoulder a rough squeeze, shaking him a little as if he knew what was going through his mind. “Fantastic. Then you’ll join us for our free periods, yeah? And the party later tonight?”

Still somewhat sputtering, Remus’ eyes widened to an extent he was sure was comedic. “The pa– the party?”

James smiled at him. “Yeah, Moons. Gryffindor half-term party? That we have talked about all week?”

“Merlin, maybe Pomfrey needs to go easy on the potions she gives you,” Sirius teased, getting up to finish changing.

“Or she could give me more,” Remus whispered hopefully, earning him a round of chuckles.

“You’ll be fine, Rem,” James said, with an undertone Remus did not care for. “If you’re still feeling… off throughout the day and night, you can always snuggle up with a book and ignore us hooligans.” Then, almost as if he was testing the waters. “I’m sure Y/N would love to join you.”

Remus didn’t deign any of that with a response, but he suddenly thought he should get out of his bed so his face didn’t seem so red in contrast with the white sheets.

“I have some essays to knock out, so yeah, I’ll join you to study,” Remus relented. He opened his own trunk to get changed, but decided to half-ass it and just take off his tie and replace his uniform wool with one of his own patterned jumpers.

“And for the party later!” Sirius corrected, ensuring Remus didn’t think he could back out.

“Sure, sure.” He ruffled his own hair so it was Remus-messy and not Sirius-messed-up-my-hair-messy. “Let’s just go.”

─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───

Considering the extent to which he could fuck this up for himself, Remus reckoned he had been doing fairly good keeping his shit together throughout the day.

If he mentally cursed more than normal, contemplated the murder of each one of his friends including himself and generally couldn’t breathe, well, that was merely part of it.

The whole lot had shacked up in the library for the triple free periods you had back to back on Fridays. While you doted concernedly over him for the first thirty minutes, you eased up once you seemed to decide that this wasn’t Remus shoving down some lycanthropy-struggles and avoiding support and help.

As always, the two of you sat in the love seat, your legs sprawled over his lap as you read through your textbooks in the oddest positions. This was usually something he might chide you for – “your neck will hurt if you hang over the edge like that, love” – but today he buried his face into his textbooks with all his might to not seem like he was aware of your body. He was, of course, you burned over his skin and lit up his heart, and Circe’s tits was he the stupidest sod in the whole castle.

Nonetheless, he made it through all three hours, engaging in comforting banter and low laughs with his best mates. When you teamed up with him to mess with Sirius, he at least knew that you weren’t upset with him in any way, even though he was being a lunatic today, even though he most definitely would have deserved it.

What Remus knew would be his breaking point was the Gryffindor party.

It was a laid back event, a party thrown for all of Gryffindor, though it was mostly the upper years who were encouraged to attend. They arranged it halfway through every term to celebrate making it through and engaging with each other. Meaning, most people didn’t get shitfaced but there was some good bubbling energy maintained throughout the whole night.

You and Remus had a tradition for how you dealt with parties – just as you had a tradition for pretty much everything, he had come to notice. Gods, he lov– Stop it.

Neither one of you were necessarily fond of large crowds, but you both were incredibly loyal and fond of your friends and wanted to spend time with them. Thus, you attended the parties, but you always did so together. The more uncomfortable you got, the closer you would get to each other, and if one ever needed a break, they would tap the other three times and they would make up an excuse to usher them out of there.

It had never felt so unnerving to be so known.

Throughout the whole party he had been jittery, head rushing with thoughts. He desperately tried not to take in your outfit and then he desperately tried not to read into it when you seemed disappointed he didn’t compliment you for it like he usually did. Why did he have to be such a sweet best friend normally? Remus can’t keep up with himself.

It did not help him in the slightest that others around the party seemed to focus on your outfit much more openly than he could dare. It made him gravitate even closer to you, tighten his hand on his hip, momentarily rest his chin on the top of your head – and then his actions made him want to kick himself. Possessiveness was the last thing he could be engaging with when he was already betraying you in such a manner.

Leave it to Remus to fuck up something beautiful.

To say you didn’t seem to notice that he was troubled would be taking it too far, but at least you didn’t seem to notice why. You kept him close to your side and would at random points stroke his back soothingly. He wondered if you just thought he was uncomfortable with the party.

You were chatting with Pandora by the drinks table when Barty and Evan strolled up to you both with cheshire cat grins.

“There he is, back on his leash,” Junior said through a menacing laugh, ignoring Evan’s slight elbow to his side. “Feeling better, darling?”

“What brings you to the lions' den, Junior?” Remus asked carefully to divert the topic.

“Well. Y/N’s going so Pandora’s going so Evan’s going, and thus–” he did a small flourishing spin “– I’m going.”

“You’re impossible,” Evan murmured, while Pandora just smiled happily.

“Is he feeling better, then?” Barty asked once more, this time looking at you.

“No, actually,” you said with a small smile Remus knew not to be genuine. “He is absolutely devastated you’re not in the Slytherin common room right now. He had big plans for you there, you know.”

Remus tried to choke down his laugh as Barty looked torn between glee and irritation. Somehow he made both work. “Sorry to soil your plans then, Lupin. Better luck next time.”

Then he stalked off in almost a hurry and Remus couldn’t help but hope he was going to Slytherin to check if you were telling the truth.

He looked down at where you were standing beside him and squeezed your shoulder lightly. “You really are a minx,” he whispered conspiratorially.

That turned out to be his undoing. You turned your head to the side to look up at him with mirth playing around in your enamouring eyes, a soft tilt to the corner of your mouth. And your face was oh so painfully close to his.

Remus became acutely aware that he could easily lean in and catch your smile with his. That the air he was breathing had been close to you in some of the only ways he had not yet. That he must look like your boyfriend when you’re standing essentially pressed up against each other like this.

That he most certainly has been looking at your lips for far too long.

When he flicks his gaze back up, he sees a slight furrow between your brows again as you seem to take in his reaction, and suddenly he goes from having butterflies in his stomach to needing to throw them all up. He took a sudden staggering step backwards, almost crashing into James who was engaging in some animated discussion with Marlene.

“I, uh,” Remus said and dear Godrick he was stammering. “I’ll get us some drinks and we can sit down, yeah?” He didn’t wait for you to respond, instead spinning his back to you and hoping you pick up conversation with Pandora again.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Don’t be a bloody arse.

He hoped he had steadied himself enough by the time he plopped down in his favourite grandfather chair near the fire. He placed both of your drinks on the table in front of him, vowing to touch his as minimally as possible to make sure he keeps whatever wits he has left with him.

A dumb smile takes over his face as his breathing quickens when he sees you make your way over to the seating area, after having listened to his desperate silent plea and finished your conversation with Pandora. Pushing his luck, he shoots another silent prayer that it will be smooth sailing from here, which is apparently promptly ignored as you happily sit down in his lap.

Fuck.

This, he reminds himself, is also normal for the two of you. Especially at parties, especially if you have reason to believe he is unsteady in any sense of the word, which he most certainly has given you plenty of reason to believe.

You give him some form of greeting he can’t quite catch and isn’t sure if he reciprocated as you settle down, putting majority of your weight on his right thigh as you lean your body sideways against his. One of your arms snuck around his shoulders, fingers winding up playing with the hair at the nape of his neck, while the other is stabilising yourself on his knee. Majority of your close friends had followed your lead by sitting down in the small gathering, chattering amongst themselves. He was half-aware that you were rambling on about something to him, something he probably really wanted to listen to, but it felt like his head was underwater.

Unsure of what else to do, he lowered his face into your shoulder and took deep breaths there.

You seemed wholly unbothered, fingers continuing in his hair as your soothing voice carried him through what he feared might become a panic attack. He was almost there, when the cocoon you two had in your chair was burst by the presence of your other friends.

“You alright there, Moons? You’re not going to go all vampire on poor Y/N?” Sirius’ tone was lighthearted and teasing, but Remus felt as if he might actually die.

“Oh, he’s quite alright,” you answered for him with a smile before he could embarrass himself, immediately switching over to engage in conversation with the friends sitting closest to you. Your hand on his knee squeezed reassuringly.

Fuck, how could he not love you?

He loved you.

Remus almost had to fight crying as he hid in the crook of his neck, overwhelmed by his own emotions and the surely watchful gazes of those around him – the latter of which was why he couldn’t.

With a deep breath he let his desire win for just one second and pressed a soft kiss to your shoulder before emerging from his hiding place. He shifted you carefully to be more comfortable, so that your back was against him and he could rest his head on the shoulder he just kissed.

He did fairly good, partaking in conversation, engaging with the others, albeit more quietly and less than usual. He laughed and he smiled and you were so soft against him, as if you had melted. Remus was in heaven while being tortured.

Marlene wolf whistled quietly from where she was sat on the floor, eyeing Remus with mirth. Though he still did not know why, he was already turning red, the tips of his ears burning.

“Hi, Remmy.” He heard the soft voice say beside him and he turned his head to see Emmeline giving him a somewhat sly smile. “The dance floor’s picking up. Want to go for another round?”

Remus’ stomach churned. Emmeline was such a sweet girl and he never could say no to her, the only thing that felt worse than the embarrassment from his friends’ teasing was the thought of embarrassing her – though Remus was sure even thinking like that made him into an even bigger arse.

Sirius and James had told him multiple times that he could say no. As had you, reminding him how important it was to have boundaries, even while you were sitting practically on top of him at the time. He just could never bring himself to.

Yet his mouth seemed to move on its own accord before he could think, arms tightening around you. “No, not tonight Emmeline, sorry. Knock yourself out, though.” He tried to give her a warm smile, but his movements seemed to be outside of his control at the moment, breath sucked from his lungs.

He realised with a sting that he should have given her more credit all along when she beams back at him. “No worries, enjoy your night!” she cheered before twirling towards the dance floor herself.

Remus let out a shaky breath and turned to his friends who were almost staring him down. James’ mouth was even open in shock, which he thought was a bit dramatic.

“Hold on, what just happened?” Sirius guffawed. “Has our little Moony learned to say no?”

Remus flushed even further. “Shut up, Pads.”

“Don’t think I will,” his mate replied with a wolfish grin turning to look to the others for support. “Never thought I’d see the day.”

“What’s inspired this change in you?” Mary asked thoughtfully, propping her head into her hands as if she was settling in for a lengthy response.

All eyes were back on Remus and he felt like the mask he had been clinging to all day was crumbling. The nerves that shot through him like lightning now was not his usual humiliation from being in a charged spotlight – no, this was fear. Genuine fear that if he didn’t get his head screwed back on within two seconds, he might say something too revealing, or his face would do it without him having to open his mouth. That his fiery ears would somehow spell out I am in love with my very best friend and I realised it too late and am making it everybody else’s problem. He had no idea what to do.

In his time of despair, with Mary’s big eyes staring up at him, Marlene and Lily already snickering between them and Sirius raising an expecting brow, his instincts knew of only one way out.

His finger on your hip lifted. Tap, tap, tap.

Almost as if a switch had gone off, you made a soft gasp and turned to look at him in his lap. “Gods, Rem, speaking of Emmeline, I totally forgot our gift for Sirius in my dorm room in Ravenclaw!” you exclaimed, putting your all into the act. Your excuse seemed to be a good one as Sirius’ head immediately picked up, not unlike that of a dog’s if you said the word ‘treat’ around them. “We have to go get it before the party’s over.”

You elegantly hopped up and out of his lap, dragging him behind him with a grip on his elbow. Remus stumbled and scrambled behind you, tossing a sorry don’t know what that’s about look to the others over his shoulder. He barely caught sight of what he could only classify as a knowing exchange of smiles between James and Lily.

Before he could truly process your rescue mission, he was standing outside in the cool hallway breathing heavily, portrait closed behind him.

Before him, you stood with your hands on your hips, scanning his face thoroughly, making him almost cower beneath your gaze. You seemed to make up your mind about something as you took his hand once more and walked with him down the hall in silence, rounding the corners until you reached one of the deep windowsills, the kind the two of you would always sit in and read.

You jumped to lift yourself into it and once you were sat with one hand on each side of your body, you levelled him with a look.

“Okay, spill,” you said, directly but not unkindly. “What is going on with you?”

Remus did not think this through. He needed help and so he called upon you for it like he always does, not thinking to consider that that might very well make this worse for him.

“It’s…” he began, picking at straws in his mind for an excuse. “It’s nothing, dove. Really.”

“When’s my birthday?” you asked then, to his surprise. He furrowed his brows at you and told you the date. You smiled a bit smugly. “Exactly. So you know I wasn’t born yesterday.”

He genuinely laughed at that, even if it was at his expense. He let his body do as it wished and took a small step closer to you. Not enough for your bodies to touch, but enough to feel like he was in your space. Safe, even in his panic.

“Remus,” you said softly, painfully gently. You rarely used his first name, and now when you did, it was laced with an undertone he couldn’t stomach. It was beginning to sound a bit like hurt. “What is going on with you? Why… why are you acting this way towards me?”

Because you are the one thing I have never had to question and now I’m questioning everything. Because I’m a bloody prick who has one dream and ruins his life over it. Because my mind is running a mile a minute and your lips feel like magnets and I swear I am losing control in a way I only do during full moons.

“I don’t know what to do,” he ended up whimpering quietly, cowardly.

You looked around the hallway as if the answer would be written on any of the walls and moved your arms slightly to gesture around you. “About what? I can’t help you unless I know what it is, cariad.”

He scrunched his face for a moment, looking away from you. “Can we not do this? It’s nothing you can fix, dove.”

You seemed to grow even more confused at that, almost frustrated. “Why not?” He realised then that the two of you had always helped each other through everything. Being locked out must hurt. He wanted to kick himself, but he didn't know what else to do. “What’s wrong, Remus, please I just–”

Remus is besieged by the power of someone much more reckless, driven by desire to alleviate you of your confusion and him of his pain.

He cut you off with a kiss.

He took a large stride forward to slot himself in between your thighs, eliminating the space between you within a second, bringing both hands up to cup the sides of your face and bring it towards him. His eyes were shut tightly, furrow in his brows as his lips all but smashed against yours in a kiss that felt sacrificially sacred. Your lips are just as soft as in his dream, as is the small gasp that escapes you as you tense in his grasp.

Remus has never felt better and he has never felt worse.

The kiss lasts for about 10 seconds before he pulls away in even more of a flurry. His hands lost their grip on you first, hovering over your cheeks briefly, as if considering going back in before thinking better of it. He still had you captured in the kiss, hanging on to it for as long as he could deign himself, knowing it was his last opportunity to do so, all the while kicking himself over it.

Backing away, he put double the distance between you. He felt drunk, stumbling slightly as he all but scrambled away, a stinging sensation behind his eyes.

“I’m so sorry, I don't know why I did that. I didn’t mean to,” he breathed out, reeling at his own impulsivity. “That,” he said through a shaking voice as he looked anywhere but your face, “is my problem, and Y/N, I am so, so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

For the shortest second, he lets his eyes flicker quickly over your face before rushing back to stare at a statue on the wall beside you. Your face was blank, eyes wide. Your fingers were barely touching the lips he had just enclosed in his own.

You must be disgusted. You must be horrified. You must feel violated and Remus wanted nothing more than to disappear from the face of the earth and rid you of this undying problem.

He was every bit the beast you had tried to convince him he wasn’t.

“Why…” you began, voice but a whisper, before you trailed off.

Remus had to shut his eyes at that, tilting his head slightly to the side. If he breathed through his nose, he might not cry. He was sitting before the highest court he knew, and you were about to ask him to explain himself.

“Why are you sorry?”

The words floored him a little, enough to make his eyes snap open and land back on your face. You looked deeply concerned, brows tilted upwards as you seemed to take his face in. “Remus,” you whispered now that you finally had his eyes on you. “Why are you sorry?”

He shook his head in confusion, feeling every bit like the boy he was. “I shouldn’t have done that.” It was all he could get out through his hoarse voice. He also had no idea how to answer that question in a satisfactory way.

You took in a short sharp breath and then lowered yourself onto the ground to stand before him. With your hands held out in front of you, almost as if you were ready to lunge out and catch him if he was to run – an idea that was becoming increasingly enticing to him – you took a small step towards him. “Why?” There was a growing spark in your eye, dimmed only by your worried frown.

“Y/N.” He didn’t know what else to say, eyes trained on you.

“Cariad,” you replied in the same tone, and a tear slipped down his left cheek. You took another measured step towards him, enough to reach out for him if you wanted to – but of course, you wouldn’t want to, not anymore. “It’s alright.”

He felt dizzy at the lack of the scolding or disgust he had braced himself for, realising how stupid he was for even fearing that from you. No, you would reject him sweetly and kindly, and his heart would never be mended from it. That felt worse, somehow.

“It’s not,” he whispered. “Please don’t say it is.”

You smiled ruefully and took another small step towards him. He could feel the warmth eminating from you. Tentatively, you reached up a hand to wipe at the tear still sitting on his left cheek. He held his breath and fought the urge to lean into your touch, but when you pressed your palm more firmly against his cheek, he couldn’t anymore. A soft sigh escaped him and he let his eyes fall shut as your touch supported him. “It is, my sweet boy,” you whispered with an urgency that almost convinced him. “Remus, can you answer me honestly?”

His body tensed once more as his eyes fluttered open to find yours, reverent. Most parts of him were still screaming at him to run away, to shut up, to do anything but this. His heart seemed to be in charge for the moment, though, and he nodded slowly. Trusting you with his world even as he felt like a traitor in yours.

“All this, today… has it been because you have realised you’re… in love with me?” You seemed to be piecing it together as you said the words out loud, eyes carefully searching his face for his reaction.

Another tear slipped down his cheek, and you quickly caught it with your other thumb, both hands now cradling his face. “I’m so sorry,” he said once more.

“You’re not allowed to be,” you whispered, giving him a half-smile, almost as if you were indulging him in a secret of yours. “Please answer the question?”

It was now or never. “Yes.”

To his utter surprise and deep-seated confusion, the smile on your face grew genuine, settling into the one he always searched for. He almost opened his mouth to question it before he was cut off.

No words can describe the sensations that bloomed in his chest, the butterflies that flitted in his stomach, when you used your hands on his face as leverage to pull him towards you for another kiss.

You kissed him. You kissed him. You were kissing.

His mind was threatening to take off like a rocket and captiulate, but his hands had never been more steady as they circled around your waist, splaying out over the small of your back as he dragged you closer. You sighed against him, smile still evident over your lips, and Remus dared – like the bastard he was – to mirror it.

You were warm against him, but wholly different than you had been in his dream. This felt distinctly real. And just as right.

When you pulled away, your hands had migrated to the back of his neck and you kept your forehead leaned against his. “Good,” you murmured with your eyes still closed. “Because the feeling is mutual.”

He almost reared his head away from you, but managed to only pull back a few centimetres to stare at you in awe. Remus opened his mouth, but no words came out; he could find none intelligent enough to verbalise how utterly gobsmacked he felt.

You seemed to understand him just as well, going by your breathy laugh. There was still that spark in your eye, now shining brightly in the absence of your worry. Had the worry been for him?

“I know I don’t say this enough, but you really are quite an idiot, aren’t you?” you laughed and he slowly felt his heart start beating again.

“Spent too much time with Sirius and James, clearly,” he muttered, half expecting the joke to land flat and you to remember how disgusting he was. Instead, your laugh intensified and you leaned your body further against his. It emboldened him to ask, “What do you mean the feeling is mutual, dove?”

You let your arms glide further up, crossing behind his neck and over his shoulder, bringing him impossibly closer. “Remus John Lupin,” you whispered sincerely. “I am madly in love with you. Romantically. Genuinely. Any thoughts you have that explain that away are false and you mustn't listen to them. I thought you knew by now that I’m always right.”

Even as the grin involuntarily established itself on his face, his eyes were shining with unshed tears. He looked at your face, truly studied it, and he could feel his mind ever so slowly calm down. “You are.”

“What am I?” You were testing him, and he allowed it wholeheartedly.

“Right,” he confirmed. Albeit a bit more hesitantly, he knew better than not to add, “and… in love with me?”

“Two points to Gryffindor.” You reached up to give his lips a soft peck. It felt so natural, like it was already habit for you. He desperately wanted it to be.

“I’m sorry, I’m still reeling from this, dovey,” he confessed, trying to process everything.

There had never been any judgement to be found in your face. “Which parts are you struggling with the most?”

Your eyes were full of understanding, your face scrunched up in concentration. Remus indulged himself in an old habit by reaching up with one hand to thumb the furrows away. It made you smile just like he wanted it to, and gave him a minute to think. “I don’t understand how I didn’t get it before now. I don’t understand how or why you put up with me. I don’t understand how to keep all these feelings inside such a small heart.”

Your hands were stroking his back carefully as you considered his words. “Well, firstly I would argue your heart isn’t small at all, though I get what you mean. You’re not meant to keep all the feelings inside, you know? That’s when you get all sputtery and jittery and start avoiding your best friends.” You gave him a pointed look and he almost shied under your glance. “Sharing them before you bubble over is always a good thing. We’ll work on it together. As for why I put up with you; I don’t. There’s nothing to put up with, I just enjoy you like we always have.”

Your eyes had trailed off into the distance as you thought, but you brought them back to him with a small smile as you added the final part. “I don’t know what did make you realise, so I can’t help you much there. All I can say is, sometimes we don’t see what is right in front of us.”

Remus nodded along to your words, feeling peace spreading within in that manner only you could inspire in him. He truly was an idiot, wasn’t he? “How long have you known?” he asked then, curiously.

“About you or me?”

“Both?” His smile was becoming closer to his standard sheepish one, and you seemed to preen at the sight.

You bobbed your head side to side as you considered. “It’s hard to pinpoint an exact date – it wasn’t an overnight discovery you know?” Remus did in fact not know nor relate. “But I realised we were in love, not either one’s feelings. It just sat calmly within me.”

“You mean you didn’t freak out to the extent where all students and professors alike were worried about you?”

He grinned at the small giggle that drew from you as you decidedly said, “No. Definitely not.” You studied him for a minute more. “I think I realised about five months ago, but I didn’t feel any real need to rush anything. It felt less like being given a to-do list and more like being revealed the plot twist in a movie before it happens, if you understand? The two best friends get together in the end, don’t tell anyone.”

He ducked his head at that. While he could not relate, your explanation and experience was so wholeheartedly you that it endeared him to no end. “Does that mean we should just ignore it for five more months or…?” His grin turned cheeky as you lightly swatted his shoulder.

“Nah,” you chuckled. “I reckon we’ve waited long enough, yeah?”

He sighed with a smile. “Yeah.”

You both leaned forward at the same time, as if to seal the deal with a kiss. Remus could feel it like electricity in the tips of his fingers, and he understood what you meant about knowing. Now that he was no longer in a constant state of panic, he felt incredibly calm about the whole ordeal.

Or maybe that’s just how he feels around you.

“Should I ask you formally to be my girlfriend, or are we just skipping straight to marriage?” he whispered against your lips.

Remus felt almost wolfish when you barked a loud laugh, throwing your head back and tightening your hold on him instinctively. “I think girlfriend’s enough for now, yeah cariad?”

“If you insist.” He kissed you through his grin, realising that this was all he wanted to do now.

Like he had so many times before, he tightened his arms around your waist and twirled you around in a few circles, legs flying out behind you. Except this time, your giggles were not hidden in his neck but pressed against his lips, and he tried to capture as many kisses as possible while he spun you.

When you landed with a breathless giggle, he kept one arm firmly around your waist as the two of you slowly made your way back to the Gryffindor common room. He wondered if maybe he could grab some blankets and bring you up to the Astronomy Tower so you could be alone without his friends’ meddling. Yet, he wanted to see them as well, ready to volley back any quips about “took you long enough” and “I fucking called it”. Plus, you argued that you should prove that he was in fact alive and sane.

When he walked the halls back to the Gryffindor common room with your body against his, everything felt right. When you entered together, and everyone read what had happened written clearly across your faces, resorting to their usual hoots and hollers, arguably louder than ever before, it never stopped feeling right.

Remus being Remus, flushed deeply and averted his gaze, as he would continue doing under any uncalled for attention – but your arms squeezing him around the middle brought him right back down and your kiss to his shoulder soothed the burn of their gazes.

“What’s my gift then?” Sirius later asked salaciously as he eyed you two up and down where you cuddled together right back in the same chair, as if nothing changed. Maybe nothing really did.

You grinned widely and cleared your throat. “I honourably present to you,” you said and opened your arms towards Remus with a flourish. “A Moony who is no longer mooning.”

The little group erupted in even more cheers, celebrating the massive feat of taming their brooding boy. Remus couldn’t help but laugh along, even at his own expense. His cheeks were red but it was equally due to the exertion of laughing as it was a tinge of embarrassment. When he hid his face into the crook of your neck again, he didn’t feel nearly as guilty when he pressed a few kisses to the bare skin he found there – even less so when you melted against him with a sigh.

It felt as if a permanent smile had been sown onto his face where he sat, more content than he believed he had been while inside this castle.

Despite Remus Lupin’s disdain for public displays of affection, he had held you publicly many times before this. They all paled in comparison to the feeling of you in his arms now.

It had always been significant to him in its casualty, just as you have always been significant to him long before he had the mind to put the feeling into words. He will always treasure every moment of your existence in his orbit. Yet the way you melted into his skin now, growing roots in each one of his aching bones – no, nothing could compare to it.

Yes, Remus Lupin ailed from public displays of affection. But you were his cure.

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ellecdc · 10 months ago

Text

The Winner Takes It All

poly!Marauders x reader (gender not specified)

CW: slight light angst (between reader x other students), confusion on relationship status, fluff

You didn’t really know what you had done to win the affections of the infamous Marauder boys – namely Remus, Sirius, and James – but you weren’t going to question it too deeply; you quite enjoyed their company.

Everyone knew the three boys were together: Sirius and James were never known for their subtlety, and Remus was the reluctant (but quite pleased) victim of their near constant PDA.

Somehow, you too had gotten swept up in their affections.

It wasn’t official – in the sense that you and the boys had never discussed what their flirting, pet names, cuddles, or forehead kisses meant in the grand scheme of things – but no one was ignorant to the chemistry between the four of you. The boys were so unbelievably sweet with you, and their attention felt like nothing short of worship.

James’ excessive excitement when you walked into a room left you feeling like you meant something; an overwhelming sense of belonging within his space. Sirius’ devilish flirting, compliments, and obvious ogling made you feel more beautiful than you ever thought possible. And Remus’ small gestures – whether carrying your books for you, ensuring you’ve eaten and drank enough water, and his special nicknames he seemed to save just for you - left you melted into a puddle of fondness.

And that wasn’t always taken very well by others.

Namely, Emmeline Vance.

The boys had been known to be quite…open…in their sexual encounters in the past and have, on occasion, included a fourth party in their dorm room activities. This quickly stopped when some parties felt this meant they were included in their dynamic.

Emmeline was one of them, and it appeared she wasn’t taking the news of them seemingly working to include an official fourth to their relationship very well.

This is one of the reasons you hadn’t brought up exactly what you meant to them; you were not interested in simply being the boys’ next bedmate, and a part of you was afraid that bringing things up would expose the fact that this was indeed their hope.

The other part of you knew that the boys weren’t the kind to string someone along, and that they’d have to be playing an awfully long game if that was truly their angle. But the possibility squeezed at your heart nonetheless.

Emmeline had taken to making snooty comments to you when the boys weren’t around. Lily, Marlene, Peter, and Dorcas seemed particularly bothered by it, but you did your best to ignore her.

But there was a part of you that wanted to scream at her a little bit…you weren’t even technically in a relationship with them! You’d never slept with them, you’d never even properly kissed any of them, and you certainly hadn’t made any moves to make whatever this was ‘official’.

Another part of you didn’t even want to entertain the situation. You had far more important things to concern yourself with: You were studying for your NEWTS, considering whether you wanted to head right into the workforce or explore further education, and where the hell you were going to live after graduation.

Unfortunately, Emmeline wasn’t the only one to pick up on your new-found closeness with the Marauders.

“Well, well, well…look what the lions dragged in.” Mulciber sneered from behind you as you made your way up the path from Hogsmeade. You rolled your eyes and kept your head forward; you’d been given permission from the headmaster to run to the village to purchase more potions ingredients, but apparently, so had the Slytherins.

“What? Good enough for those Gryffindor’s but not us? Where’re you running too?” Avery continued with a malicious grin when you picked up your pace.

Thankfully, you could see the Hogwarts grounds were up ahead, and Lily was there at the gates waiting for you.

“Sod off.” You threw over your shoulder, feeling slightly bolder in the presence of your friend.

You smiled warmly at the redhead as she threw her arm over your shoulder, sparing the Slytherin gits behind you a withering glare as you carried on towards the castle.

“What’s their problem now, hm?” She asked you, still glaring at the boys.

You rolled your eyes. “Oh, who knows. Not happy with anyone associated with the Marauders.”

Lily snorted inelegantly. “I don’t even think they’ve bothered pranking the Slytherin’s lately.”

“Nope.” You agreed with a pop of the P. “Everyone’s got bigger problems right now.”

Lily laughed but it turned into a groan. “Yeah, speaking of: incoming.”

You followed her gaze to see Emmeline making her way towards the two of you.

“Hello Lily!” She said cheerily before her face turned stony as the considered you, “Y/N.”

You tried to refrain (somewhat unsuccessfully) from rolling your eyes as you said hello to the girl.

“Have you seen the boys around?” She asked feigning innocence, but you both knew exactly who she was on about.

Lily played dumb, though you knew that she knew very well who Emmeline was looking for. “Which boys, Vance? That covers just about half of the population at Hogwarts.” She asked coolly.

“Remmy, Siri, and Jamie. Obviously. I’m going to ask them to Hogsmeade this weekend.” She shared with a sense of finality. You did roll your eyes at this, and Lily scoffed.

“Well, my first place to look for them would be with Y/N, and seeing as they’re not here, I couldn’t tell you.” Lily spat.

Emmeline narrowed her eyes and looked between the two of you before she levelled a glare at you.

“This isn’t over. I’ll win them back.” She said plainly, and something about her tone caused you to snap.

The Slytherin’s, Emmeline, the stress of not knowing – it was all too much, and you were done.

“You know what, Emmeline?” You said in a calm tone as you looked to the sky. “You can have them.”

Lily whipped her head to look at you bewilderedly at the same time Emmeline cocked her head at you.

“I beg your pardon?” She asked as you returned your eyes to her.

“If you think you can ‘win’ them, you can have them. I don’t want something that can so easily be taken from me, anyway. But you’re competing in a game that I’m not even playing, so either take them or leave me alone because I’ve got bigger fucking problems than your stupid school-girl crush.” You were out of breath by the time you finished; your face was hot, and you were sure it was likely the colour of Lily’s hair, but you willed yourself not to cry as you stormed toward the castle.

Damn being an angry crier.

You were just so tired – this wasn’t a game to you; these were your friends, perhaps more (you certainly hoped more), and it was also your feelings. But what you said was true – nothing that can be taken from you is worth keeping, not even them.

Lily quickly caught up to you but knew better than to say anything now, giving you the chance to breathe and calm down. You both made your way to Gryffindor tower where you threw yourself haphazardly into one of the plush couches near the fireplace.

“Fuck.” You groaned as you rubbed your hand down your face.

“You okay, hun?” Lily asked as she pet your head commiseratively.

You groaned again as you let your hand fall from your head and hang dramatically off the side of the couch. “Yeah, just tired. Of everything.”

Lily hummed in sympathy. “Why don’t you relax up here? I can bring you something from the Great Hall for supper.”

You looked at your friend like she hung the moon. “You’d do that for me?”

She chuckled and pinched your cheek, “‘Course. Anything for you, gorgeous.” She winked, trying on her best Sirius Black voice to mimic what the boy has said to you many-a-times before.

They really did treasure you, didn’t they?

You sort of regretted your outburst now – you knew the boys weren’t a prize in some juvenile contest; that’s what you’d been trying to point out – but you worried that’s not the way it sounded. What would they do once they heard? And you knew they would – hear about it, that is. Would their feelings be hurt? Would they understand? Would they feel embarrassed to be spoken about in such a manner?

You didn’t have much time to think about it after Lily left, because before you knew it, said boys were crawling through the portrait hole.

“Angel!” James shouted at you as he found your form curled up against the arm of the couch. He made for you instantly, vaulting himself over the back of the couch sat opposite of you like some kind of living room gymnast and launching himself onto your couch, nearly right on top of you.

“Hi Jamie.” You said shyly as his arms wrapped around your middle and he dug his face into the crook of your neck.

“Missed you.” He said, though the sound was muffled from the new home he seemed to have made in your being.

“Lily said we’d find ya here.” Sirius said as he sat on the coffee table in front of you. You grimaced in response.

“How was your trip to Hogsmeade?” Remus redirected at your obvious discomfort, taking a place beside Sirius.

“Oh, it was alright. I found what I needed.” You answered quietly, playing with the nailbeds of your fingers. Sirius quickly gave you one of his hands to play with instead.

“We heard you gave Vance a verbal lashing.” He said as you fiddled with one of the many rings adorning his long fingers. You groaned and let your head fall back onto the couch.

“Sirius.” Remus quietly (though lovingly) chided. “Do you wanna talk about it, dove?”

And there he goes with the nicknames, and James’ cuddling and Sirius’ piercing gaze and what the hell were you even doing here?

“No.” You answered. “I don’t know.” You amended quickly.

“I hope she didn’t upset you too terribly.” James offered quietly as he moved his chin to rest on your shoulder so he could look at you. You were suddenly self-conscious of how the side of your head looked.

“No. I may have been a little out of line.” You acquiesced. Sirius scoffed dramatically.

“Please, you’ve never been unreasonable a day in your life. You should try it once in a while.”

You chuckled at the dark-haired boy. “If anyone can drive me to it, it’ll be you boys.” You tried to joke, but it came out somberly.

“I’m sorry if being with us makes things a little tricky for you, with other students.” Remus apologized.

You snorted. “I’m not sure why being friends with you guys should be such an issue for other people.”

“Friends?” James asked as he sat up a little straighter. You cocked your eyebrow as you turned to look at him.

“Well, I don’t know…We’ve never really discussed anything, I didn’t want to assume…” You trailed off as you started picking at your nailbeds again. This time, Sirius moved to his knees in front of you and took both of your hands in each of his.

“Assume. Assume it all; all of it, everything. We’re yours.” He said emphatically, punctuating each sentiment with a squeeze of your joined hands.

“If you’ll have us…” Remus corrected, and you felt something swell behind your eyes at the faint blush that appeared on his cheeks.

James seemed just as moved by Remus’ bashfulness as he leaned forward to caress the boy’s cheek. “We know we’d love to have you.” James finished for him.

You sniffled and offered them a tight smile. “I’d like that.”

Sirius deflated instantly and let out a relieved sigh. “Oh, thank gods. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you said no.”

“Die, probably.” James said seriously, surprising a laugh out of you.

“We never wanted you to feel insecure in your place with us, dovey. We’re sorry we didn’t make it clearer how much you mean to us.” Remus continued.

“It’s not that. You make me feel very…” but you trailed off timidly.

“Very…” Sirius continued with a devilish grin. You tried to hide behind your hands but he held-fast. “Don’t get shy on us now, gorgeous. How do we make you feel?”

“Cherished.” You whispered, and you watched as the mirth left his face, leaving behind only fondness.

“Oh, thank merlin.” James breathed. “I thought I’d have to up my flirting; and I don’t know if you guys know this, but I already live at 100% love always.”

“We know.” You, Sirius, and Remus answered in unison.

“Okay, Jamie. Scoot.” Sirius said as he stood. He hardly waited for James to make room before he’d picked you up and flipped you two, so he was now sitting in your spot, and you were in his lap. “My turn.” He muttered as he put his face in the crook of your neck like James had before. James didn’t seem to mind the intrusion much; his arm thrown across Sirius’ shoulders and fingers rubbing at the baby hairs on your neck.

“Y/N?” Remus asked, and your toes curled in anxiety at how serious he looked.

“Yes?”

“May I kiss you?” He asked, keeping his honey gaze locked on yours.

You felt a grin overtake your face as you nodded emphatically. His smile matched yours as he leaned forward resting his hand on your knee and pressed his lips gently to yours. You felt so incredibly complete – Sirius’ arms wrapped securely around you, James gently massaging your neck and shoulders, and Remus’ lips on yours.

Both you and Remus seemed reluctant to separate, but you did. He pressed one last kiss to your lips before he leaned back into his seat on the coffee table.

“Does this mean we get to do that all of the time now?!” James asked excitedly, causing the three of you to chuckle. You didn’t much mind the sound of that.

“There was no competition.” Sirius said quietly from his place in your neck. You turned your head which forced him from your neck as you looked at him inquisitively.

“There was never any competition. Between you and Emmeline.” He clarified, silver irises seeming to bore into your soul. “Between you and anyone.”

You felt heat rush to your cheeks and ducked your head.

“And even if there was,” James continued, “you’d have won by a landslide.”

Read the companion piece: The Loser Has To Fall

#marauders era #marauders au #marauders fanfiction #self insert #reader insert #poly!marauders #poly!marauders x you #poly!marauders x reader #poly marauders x you #poly marauders x reader #marauders imagine #marauder fanfiction #marauders ficlet #baby blurb #marauders baby blurb #poly!marauders fluff #poly!marauders imagine #ellecdc fics

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youngsadlesbian · 6 months ago

Text

SIRIUS GIRL — marlene mckinnon.

pairing: marlene mckinnon x reader

summary: marlene mckinnon was the love of your life. but sometimes, lovers do not end up together.

a/n: i think it's the most angst and miserable thing i've ever written in my life, i'm sorry 🥹 i got carried away a bit and added more things than i would have liked, so in the end, this story was more about harry x reader than marlene x reader in a way. i didn't have much time to revise the story, so as english is not my first language, i apologize for any mistakes. hope u like it!

word count: 7,1k

warnings: angst, everyone dies cause jk rowling hates every single character, so many sadness and death and reader being a worried mom <3

Marlene McKinnon was the most beautiful girl at Hogwarts. It was not known for sure if it was because of her brown eyes that contrasted so well with her fair skin, or because of her blonde hair that had a unique cut that only suited her.

But she was Sirius's girl, your best friend since your first day at Hogwarts.

Your passion for Marlene was immediate. You clearly remembered watching her from the Gryffindor table, her striking figure appearing calm as the Sorting Hat was placed on her head. When you found out she was going to be your housemate for seven years, you knew it was her.

But you never had the courage to confess your passion. In fact, you didn't communicate much with her because you was always a complete mess when tried. No one noticed because you always knew how to disguise it very well.

Your years at Hogwarts were incredible. Your friendship with Sirius grew every year. You became friends with the Marauders and also an animagus, to help Remus with his transformations.

You were a beautiful black cat, nicknamed Kitty. Normally, you would lie in wait and run through the secret passages with Peter if something went wrong, to warn Dumbledore. It was a perfect disguise; Hogwarts was full of cats.

Just like your friendship with the Marauders, you've found someone just as amazing as Sirius: Lily Evans. You had known each other for years, sharing a dorm and studying together at times. But never to the point where have a connection. It was sudden and one of the best things that happened to you. Lily was smart, selfless and sensitive.

In your seventh year, everything changed when Sirius and Marlene suddenly started dating. You always knew how to hide your feelings well because you were very shy, but for the first time, Sirius noticed that your smile wasn't as sincere as it used to be.

"Hey, Kitty. Is everything okay?" Sirius asked one night after Quidditch practice. You were watching Marlene and Sirius laughing together from afar, your heart aching with every look.

"Yeah, I'm fine, Padfoot. I just have a lot on my mind with the exams and everything," you replied, trying to sound casual.

Sirius didn't look convinced, but he didn't insist. "Okay, but you know you can talk to me, right?"

You nodded, forcing a smile. "Of course, thank you, Padfoot."

Months passed, and you continued to hide your feelings, maintaining a brave facade while inside, your heart ached every time you saw Marlene and Sirius together. You buried yourself in your studies trying to distract yourself from the pain.

It didn't take long to realize that maybe finding someone to spend time with would be a good distraction. This is how your relationship with Emmeline Vance, a Ravenclaw student, began. Both with different reasons; she because she wanted a distraction from the pressure of school and parents, and you, because she wanted something to ease the pain.

Remus was the only one who didn't seem very happy when he found out about your relationship and at the time you didn't understand. But Remus always knew that you loved Marlene, even if in your head it was a secret to everyone.

Until your graduation, you were forced to create a facade that only disappeared in front of Emmeline, a witch smart enough to discover the truth. You spent countless nights lying in the astronomy tower, looking at the stars, you being comforted by Emmeline while you saw Sirius and Marlene in the distance returning from some walk.

You would feel more alone and miserable if it weren't for the constant presence of Remus, Lily and Emmeline, who wouldn't leave you alone for a single minute.

One of the happiest moments of your life, besides witnessing Lily and James' wedding, was being invited to be Harry's godmother months later.

It was a common visit to the Potter's house, where you would always bring a cake and Lily would prepare tea. It was colder than usual, so you wore something heavier and took off your coat as soon as the house felt cozy and warm, settling down on the couch next to Lily. "I've been talking to James and we've decided that there's no better person to be Harry's godmother than you. Of course, if you accept." You hugged Lily tightly and couldn't hold back your tears.

"Of course I do! That's amazing." Lowering yourself until you were at Lily's belly, you placed your mouth close and got a laugh from the witch. "Hey little Potter, I promise I'll be the best godmother in the world."

You needed to stay away from them as soon as the prophecy was revealed, as you were actively a member of the Order of the Phoenix and were not supposed to know where they were to avoid magic being used on you in case there was a confrontation and they discovered the Potters' location. You got some owls from Lily where she told you about smart little Harry and how he had your eyes and looked a lot like his dad.

Then, one afternoon in 1981, everything changed. You remembered sitting on the couch finishing reading Dorian Gray when a noise at the window scared you. It was Luna, Remus's owl. Luna was large, with an impressive wingspan that highlighted her majestic presence. Her plumage was mostly white, with scattered black markings that provided an elegant contrast, and she had expressive yellow eyes, reflecting a serene wisdom and keen perception, just like her owner. In Luna's beak there was a letter addressed to you, and due to the rush in writing you feared the worst.

But nothing would prepare you for Remus' words.

Kitty,

I hope this letter finds you well, despite the difficult circumstances that surround us. It is with a heavy heart that I write to inform you of terrible news. Marlene McKinnon and her entire family were brutally murdered by Death Eaters. Their loss is a devastating blow to us all and a painful reminder of the cruelty we have faced.

I need to speak to you urgently. There are important issues that we must discuss in person. Please meet me at the Hog's Head, I'm waiting for you. The situation is serious and your support is crucial at this time.

With regret and hope to see you soon,

Remus Lupin

No. You couldn't believe it.

You rushed out of your house, the shock and pain giving you frantic energy. You apparated straight to Hogsmeade and ran towards the Hog's Head. As entered the pub, the dark, smoky atmosphere barely registered in your mind; Your eyes searched for Remus, and he was there, sitting in the corner, with an expression of deep sadness.

“Remus,” you whispered, almost out of breath. He looked up and, upon seeing your devastated expression, immediately stood up to wrap you in a tight hug.

"I'm sorry, Kitty. I'm so sorry," he repeated, his voice hoarse with emotion.

You clung to him, the crying finally breaking through the barriers. "I...I can't believe it. Marlene... Her whole family... why?"

Remus sighed, rubbing your back comfortingly. "The Death Eaters are getting bolder and bolder. They are attacking anyone they see as a threat. Marlene was a strong and brave witch, as you know. She fought to the end, but... it wasn't enough."

You sobbed into Remus' shoulder, his every word digging into your heart like a blade. "She deserved so much more... they all did."

He continued to hold you, letting you cry, offering the silent comfort of his presence. After a while, he spoke again, his voice low and full of regret. "I knew this would be difficult for you. Marlene meant a lot to all of us, but especially to you."

You nodded, unable to speak, the weight of the loss crushing your chest. Remus stood there, unwavering, his invaluable support in this moment of pain.

Days passed in a whirlwind of sadness and grief. You could barely function, the loss of Marlene still fresh and painful. But then, the news that would come next would rock his world even more.

You were sitting at the small table in your kitchen, trying to drink some tea that Remus had insisted on making for you, when an owl brought another letter. This time, from Dumbledore.

With shaking hands, you opened the letter and read the words with dawning horror. Lily and James Potter were dead, handed over to a terrible fate by Sirius Black. And Harry, your godson, was now an orphan and you figured he would stay with the Dursleys.

Feeling a growing desperation, you hurried to get dressed and apparated to Little Whinging, Surrey. Finding Dumbledore before he left Harry with the Dursleys was his only priority now.

Arriving in the quiet neighborhood, you saw Dumbledore standing on the sidewalk, holding a small package of blankets with Harry inside. He looked surprised as you approached, your breathing quickening with panic and excitement.

“Dumbledore, please,” you began, voice shaky. "Don't leave Harry with the Dursleys. Let me have him. He's my godson, and… I need to look after him."

Dumbledore looked at you with a sad and compassionate look. "I understand your wish, my dear, but Harry will be safe here with the Dursleys. There are ancient protections that can only be activated by blood. He will be safe here, even if it is not the most loving place."

“But… they won’t love him like I do,” you argued, tears streaming down your face. "He needs love, support, not just security."

Dumbledore sighed deeply, considering his words. He looked at little Harry in his arms, then at you. "Do you understand the magnitude of what you are asking? Caring for Harry will be an arduous and dangerous task. He needs someone who can protect him and guide him with love and wisdom."

“I understand,” you replied firmly, though your voice shook. "I promise I will look after him, protect him with my life. Please, Dumbledore, let me be that person for him."

Dumbledore studied you for a long moment before slowly nodding. "Very well. I see the sincerity in your eyes. Harry will need love and protection, and if you are willing to offer that, then he will stay with you."

He handed Harry to you, his blue eyes shining with a mixture of relief and concern. "Take good care of him. He is our future."

You held Harry tenderly, feeling the weight of responsibility and love grow in your heart. "I promise I will look after him, Dumbledore. With all my heart."

As Dumbledore disappeared into the darkness of the night, you looked down at little Harry in your arms, feeling a renewed determination. You would honor Lily and James' memory.

\-/

Years passed, and Harry grew up in a home full of love and care. You dedicated yourself entirely to him, ensuring he had a happy and safe childhood. He was a happy, curious and lively child, always eager to explore the world around him.

You remembered the precious moments you spent together: the nights when he asked you to read stories about wizards and witches before bed, the sunny afternoons in the garden where he ran and played with an infectious laugh, and the birthday parties you had you organized it with so much care, always making a point of creating unforgettable memories.

When Harry was old enough to understand, you started telling him about his parents. You chose a quiet day, when he was sitting on your lap, his green eyes shining with curiosity.

“Harry, there is something very important I need to tell you,” you began, stroking his dark hair. "Your parents, Lily and James, were incredible people. They loved you more than anything in this world and made a huge sacrifice to protect you."

Harry's eyes widened, taking in every word. "What happened to them?" he asked, his voice soft and full of innocence.

“Your parents were killed by a very dangerous dark wizard called Voldemort,” you explained, the pain still fresh in your heart. "They died to protect you, Harry. But their love for you was so strong that it saved you."

Harry was silent for a moment, processing the information. Then, he looked at you with a surprising maturity for his age. "I lost a mother and a father," he said slowly, "but I gained another mother, didn't I?"

Your heart sank and your eyes filled with tears. You hugged Harry tightly, feeling a deep love for the brave boy. "Yes, Harry. And I will always be here for you."

When Harry turned eleven, a very special event happened. One morning, while you were having breakfast, an owl sat on the window with a letter in its beak. Harry ran to catch it, his eyes shining with excitement.

"It's from Hogwarts!" he exclaimed, opening the letter with shaking hands. "I've been accepted! I'm going to Hogwarts!"

You smiled, happiness radiating from you. "I knew this day would come. I'm so proud of you, Harry."

Preparing for Hogwarts was a time of great excitement. You took Harry to Diagon Alley to buy all his school supplies. You walked together through the magical streets, exploring each store with curiosity and wonder.

At the Owl Emporium, Harry chose a white owl named Hedwig, who immediately cuddled up to his arm, creating an instant bond. At Ollivander's, Harry was delighted to find the perfect wand for him, a magical experience he would never forget.

"This is amazing!" Harry exclaimed, looking around with wide eyes. "I didn't know a place like this existed."

You smiled, happy to share this experience with him. "The wizarding world is full of wonders, Harry. And you will discover so many incredible things at Hogwarts."

The night before Harry left for Hogwarts, you sat next to him on the bed, holding his hands. "Harry, you're starting a new adventure. Remember, your parents would be just as proud of you as I am. And no matter what happens, I'll always be here for you."

Harry smiled, eyes shining with excitement. "I know. Thank you for everything. I couldn't have asked for a better mother."

His words warmed your heart, and you hugged him tightly, feeling a deep gratitude for having Harry in your life. The next morning, you walked him to platform 9 ¾, helping him board the train to Hogwarts.

"Be brave, Harry. And enjoy every moment," you said, waving as the train pulled away.

Harry waved back, a beaming smile on his face. "I'll go! I'll see you on vacation!"

Harry's first four years at Hogwarts were marked by adventures, challenges and dangers that you could never have imagined when you decided to look after him. Every year, you were called to school because of some incident, each one more incredible and frightening than the last.

In his first year, Harry entered into a series of events that culminated in his fight against Voldemort. When Dumbledore sent a letter informing him that Harry had faced Quirrell, possessed by Voldemort's spirit, your heart almost stopped.

Arriving at the hospital wing, you found Harry lying in bed, surrounded by Ron and Hermione. His eyes lit up when he saw you.

"Mom! I'm fine, just a little tired," he said with a weak smile.

You hugged him tightly. "Little Potter, you always get into trouble, don't you?"

He laughed, but there was a weariness in his eyes. "It was scary, but we won."

During the summer holidays, you made sure to provide Harry with moments of peace and happiness. You spent sunny days walking in the park, reading together and exploring Diagon Alley. One night, while you were watching a muggle movie, you made a joke, "Harry, if you keep this up, I'm going to be too old to deal with your adventures before I'm fifty."

He laughed and replied, "Sorry, Mom. I promise to try to stay out of trouble...if trouble stays out of me."

In the second year, the events surrounding the Chamber of Secrets were even scarier. When you received Dumbledore's letter about Harry's situation and the petrified students, you flew to Hogwarts.

In the hospital wing, you found Harry once again, with Ron and Hermione at his side.

"Harry, honey, are you okay?" You asked, trying to hold back the tears.

Harry nodded, looking a little shaken. "I'm fine, Mom. It was a giant snake that time."

You shook your head in disbelief. "A giant snake? And here I am, thinking things couldn't get any crazier."

Over the holidays, the two of you took a trip to the countryside, far from any magical threats. Walked along trails, had picnics and spent nights watching the stars. Harry loved the tranquility, and you made another joke to lighten the mood: "Harry, if we ever bring a giant snake home, I'm going to have to rethink our decor."

Third year brought the reappearance of Sirius Black, your former best friend and supposed dangerous assassin. You were called to Hogwarts when Harry fainted after the Dementor attack.

You found Harry in the hospital wing, with Ron and Hermione once again at his side.

"Honey, are you okay? Those Dementors are terrible," you said, hugging him.

Harry smiled, although he looked a little pale. "Yes, it was...intense. But I'm fine now."

During your vacation, you visited the coast, spending days at the beach and nights telling stories under the stars. Harry, always curious about Sirius, loved hearing his stories about him. And you, with your usual humor, said, "If we ever bring home a Dementor, I think I'm going to need more hot chocolate."

The fourth year was by far the scariest. The Triwizard Tournament placed Harry in extremely dangerous situations. You were called after the final event, where Harry had faced Voldemort and witnessed the death of Cedric Diggory.

In the hospital wing, Harry was more dejected than ever, with Ron and Hermione by his side.

"Harry, my dear, I can't believe you went through this," you said, holding his hand.

He looked at you, his eyes filled with sadness. "It was horrible, Mom. Cedric...he died."

You hugged him, feeling your heart break for him. "We'll get through this together, Harry. You're incredibly strong."

During the holidays, you did everything you could to provide Harry with moments of joy and distraction. Took a trip to France, where you visited the Eiffel Tower and explored the local magic. Harry loved the adventure, but you realized he carried a heavier weight in his heart. Trying to ease the tension, you joked, "If we continue these adventures, I'm going to need a break from our vacation."

With Voldemort's return, it was extremely dangerous to remain in the same place, as it was widely known that Harry Potter had been in your care since the death of his parents. The Order of the Phoenix decided that the best option would be to move you to the Black home in Grimmauld Place to ensure your safety.

You had the joy of meeting old friends. Remus Lupin was a figure you hadn't seen in about two years, not since he had been Harry's teacher at Hogwarts. Even before that, there was already a certain distance between you two.

Emmeline Vance was also present, making the meeting somewhat awkward given the circumstances of your relationship at Hogwarts. You discovered that she hadn't married or started a family, her priority being her career as an Auror.

Then, the most awaited meeting took place. When the members of the Order ensured your safety inside the house, the first person to welcome you was Sirius Black. He still looked like that best friend with long black hair that drove girls crazy, with the same crooked and charming smile that used to irritate you as a teenager. You still hadn't spoken since it was revealed that he had been wrongfully imprisoned in Azkaban.

Sirius couldn't contain the urge to hug you as if his life depended on it. "Kitty, you don't know how much I missed you." You felt like a teenager again, coming back from vacation, seeing your best friend and ready to tell him all the news possible. "Oh, your girl is here."

Sirius loved to embarrass you in front of others, something remarkable in your friendship and apparently unchanged, even now, as adults.

Harry made a confused expression. "What girl?"

Sirius smiled that smile that always preceded a funny comment. "Vance and your godmother used to be girlfriends at Hogwarts." You pinched Sirius. "I'm being mistreated for telling the truth. Things don't change."

You spent hours in the kitchen with the Weasleys, reminiscing about old times, with Sirius always making a point of telling your biggest shames. Harry seemed to love this dynamic, it was different hearing about your closeness with Sirius and seeing how, despite the distance, things hadn't become awkward between you.

At some point in the night, only you and Sirius were awake in the house. You prepared tea while he, sitting at the table, watched you carefully. To Sirius, you hadn't changed much. Except for the haircut and the tired expression, you were still Kitty, his best friend. But now Sirius saw you with different eyes because he knew the truth.

You poured the tea and sat down facing him. Silence prevailed for a few minutes until Sirius finally revealed what was tormenting his thoughts. "Remus told me everything." You avoided reacting, even though you knew he was referring to that shocking secret. "Why didn't you ever tell me?"

You took a crumpled pack of cigarettes out of your pocket, offering one to Sirius. It took a while for your eyes to stop observing a specific point in the room and for your mouth to move. "I didn't want to take any more good things out of your life, Padfoot." You started, puffing on your cigarette as if it would give you some courage. "You had already lost so much, suffered so much... What kind of friend would I be?"

Sirius was silent, absorbing the depth of your words. He always knew about your terrible habit of trying to be everything to everyone, forgetting that you also deserved good things. He held your hand, squeezing gently.

"I wouldn't have started anything with Marlene if I'd known that. Mainly because it wasn't anything serious, you know?" A sad smile graced Sirius' lips. "And Marlene had told me she liked you a long time ago. So she couldn't promise me anything other than what we had."

The revelation broke you. You felt so stupid knowing that you could have had your happy ending with the girl you loved, but you were too stupid not to reveal your feelings. There was no greater regret for a human being than not having done something. You knew it would haunt you forever.

It didn't take long for Harry to return to Hogwarts, but this time, things weren't so easy. The Ministry of Magic was unyielding in its mission to tarnish the image of Harry and Dumbledore in the wizarding world. His efforts reached Hogwarts, including Dolores Umbridge on the faculty, hampering your attempt to observe Harry from afar.

After they removed Dumbledore as headmaster, things became even more difficult. Harry didn't tell you much about the events and now there was no longer a reliable informant. Your daily worry caused a growing despair in stomach, appeased without much success by the members of the Order.

Then the fateful day arrived. The Order received a message from Severus Snape. Despite his attempts, he hadn't had much success in teaching Harry how to prevent the Dark Lord from entering his mind. It was difficult for a sixteen year old boy to fight this, no matter how experienced and talented he was. The battle in the ministry was brutal. Years passed without you being in the presence of Death Eaters, and back then, you weren't used to fearing for your life.

But now you had enough reasons to fight. There were children to protect.

Your priority throughout the battle was protecting Harry, fighting alongside him and feeling tremendous pride. He was talented just like Lily.

Then Bellatrix Lestrange sealed Sirius Black's fate with a killing curse.

You shouldn't have knelt down and cried over the death of your first and best friend. You shouldn't have let your guard down. But you were human.

You couldn't see the moment Harry pulled away from you. You didn't even notice Lupin's arms hugging you. You only remembered Luna Lovegood's voice saying what broke you out of your grief spiral.

"The Dark Lord is with Harry. He needs you."

You've never run so fast in your life. Harry shouldn't be alone facing Voldemort, he was just a child thrown into a war that took everything from him.

Nothing in life prepared you for seeing Voldemort and Dumbledore duel. The headmaster protected Harry with all the spells he could while he cursed the Dark Lord. The wizards' distraction gave you enough time to approach Harry.

"Mommy's here, honey." You whispered to Harry. His green eyes were teary and you had to be strong for him once again.

Voldemort managed to escape, but on one hand you had a victory: The Ministry finally understood that he was back.

It was Harry's first vacation that you didn't go on. It wasn't safe. You spent part of the summer at Grimmauld Place, immersed in Sirius' memories. Harry often asked for more stories about his godfather, which you shared wholeheartedly.

Losing Sirius was something you never imagined. You still remembered meeting him on the train to Hogwarts, becoming friends just because you complimented his hair and especially hoping that you would stay in the same house. He had been your first friend. It wasn't like the muggle orphanage you were raised in had the friendliest children in the world.

Another move needed to be made. You and Harry would have to be moved once again, this time, to The Burrow. It was like old times, seeing practically every member of the Order gathered and ready for battle. You felt your heart heavy with the loss of friends who were no longer alive.

"Mom, are you okay?" You were startled by Harry's abrupt presence. He sat next to you on the couch. You shook your head. "I didn't want to leave home either."

"Home is where our hearts are. Mine is with you." You ruffled Harry's hair. "When this is all over, I'm going to take you to see Latin America. What do you think?"

Harry smiled. "Like Brazil? I heard they have a magic school there too."

"Especially Brazil. I'll take you to see every part of the planet and you'll never need to be afraid of anything again, okay? I promise."

Harry hugged you and you felt truly at home after a long time.

Before reaching your final destination, there were losses.

Moody. Hedwig.

Your heart broke at Harry's report; his owl had tried to protect him from a killing curse, just like his mother years before. You wanted so badly for your little boy to have some peace.

You feared for Harry to go to Hogwarts, being sure that something terrible would happen soon. It had been like that the first time; when Marlene and her family were murdered, when you were forced to watch the Dark Lord kill Dorcas Meadowes and couldn't do anything.

Days used to be like this too before the Potters died.

Dumbledore had been communicating a lot with you over the last few months, trying his best to let you know about the plans he had with Harry this school year. You made him promise that nothing would happen to him and Dumbledore told you something you would never forget.

"Your love for Harry won't be able to save him when the time comes, Y/N."

Practically throughout the year you were traveling back and forth, looking for important information for the Order. There was a risk of being caught but you were always very clever in using the polyjuice potion with the faces of people not so common in the wizarding world, with the intention of attracting as little attention as possible.

The day had started out strangely gray, just like all the worst days of your life. You tried to get everything ready because you knew you would have to run soon.

You wanted so badly to be wrong.

Minerva was the one who communicated with you. Dumbledore was dead. The hope of defeating the Dark Lord faded more and more with this information.

Bill and Fleur's wedding provided a brief moment of tranquility before the coming storm. During the party, you stayed close to Harry, trying to make sure he made the most of his time with his friends, without letting on the anxiety you all shared.

As you danced, there was a forced smile on Harry's lips, although his eyes showed underlying concern. "Thank you for being here," he whispered as you spun around the room.

“Always, Harry,” you replied, trying to convey a bit of comfort amidst the tension.

The tranquility was abruptly interrupted by Kingsley Shacklebolt's warning of the Death Eater invasion. In an instant, you were forced apart. Harry left with Ron and Hermione, while you apparated to the only place you thought was safe.

Ted Tonks' house.

It was the worst 9 months of your life, all the time avoiding leaving the mansion and counting on the company of the Tonks and Dean Thomas. Every day you listened to the Potter Observatory and hoped that the name of no one you knew and cared about would come up. Especially Harry's name.

It wasn't long before you, Ted and Dean were captured by some kidnappers and taken to the gloomy Malfoy mansion.

In the mansion, in addition to Draco and his parents, there were other prisoners, such as Luna Lovegood, Garrick Ollivander and some Muggle-borns. The days passed slowly, filled with fear and uncertainty, each moment marked by constant vigilance and imminent threat.

And soon Harry, Ron and Hermione joined the group. You couldn't hide your relief when you saw that your little boy was okay.

"I was so worried." You mumbled as you hugged him like your life depended on it. "Don't ever walk away from me again, little Potter. I can't bear the thought of losing you."

Hermione's agonized screams shattered the moment with an imminent tightening in her chest. You just hoped she would be okay.

It was only after an agonizing time that, by a stroke of luck, Dobby the house elf came up with an audacious plan to free all of you. With Dobby's help, you managed to escape the Malfoys, facing a brief and fierce confrontation before reaching freedom.

But Dobby perished. Harry once again lost someone he loved.

With your hearts still heavy from the loss of Dobby, you fled along the winding trails until you found temporary refuge. The adrenaline was still pumping strong, mixed with the silent mourning for the death of the elf who had sacrificed everything to save them.

The house where you took shelter was modest, but safe for now. Bill and Fleur, along with the others rescued, welcomed them with relief and concern visible on their faces.

"We're so grateful you managed to escape," Fleur said, offering hot tea as you settled around the small kitchen table.

Bill nodded grimly. "But we can't stay here for long. The Death Eaters won't give up easily."

The days that followed were one of meticulous planning and anxious waiting. You knew that you would soon have to part with Harry once again, remembering that there were things that only he could do. Together with Griphook the goblin, Harry and his friends planned their daring invasion of Gringotts.

"Are you sure it's safe?", you asked Harry, as he and Griphook discussed the details of the plan. "That sounds extremely dangerous."

"I know," Harry replied, eyes fixed on the map of Gringotts. "But it's something we need to do. It's the only way to find the horcruxes."

"Trust us," Hermione added, although concern was evident in her voice. "We took every possible precaution."

Two days later, the four left for their mission, leaving you with a mix of pride and apprehension. Determined to continue the fight in your own way, you decided to seek out Albefort Dumbledore, Albus Dumbledore's brother, for help.

With the help of a patronus sent by Kingsley Shacklebolt, you were able to communicate with Aberforth and arrange a meeting in Hogsmeade. Under spells that changed your face, you apparated to the agreed location, where Aberforth was waiting for you near the entrance to his tavern, the Hog's Head.

"Do you really think you can get into Hogwarts?" he asked, his eyes shining with curiosity mixed with concern.

“I have to try,” you replied, determined. "There are students there who need help. Plus, I need to find out any information that could be useful to Harry and the others."

Aberforth sighed but nodded. "Very well. I have a secret passage that leads straight to Hogwarts. Follow me."

He led you down a hallway hidden behind a painting in the tavern. Passing through the narrow, dank tunnel, you finally emerged inside Hogwarts, in the room of precision where Neville Longbottom was leading the student resistance.

"Neville!", you exclaimed, surprised to see the young wizard. "Are you okay?"

"We're resisting," Neville replied with a tired smile. "It's good to see you here. We need all the help we can get."

You spent the next few days helping to organize the resistance within Hogwarts, while searching for information that could be useful to Harry and the others. The school was different, darker and more oppressive under the rule of Snape and the Carrows, but the flame of resistance still burned in the hearts of the students.

One night, while discussing strategy with Neville and Luna, you received an urgent message from Aberforth. "Harry is coming back to Hogwarts. Get ready."

The moment you saw Harry enter the Hog's Head's secret passage, you ran to him, hugging him tightly.

"You're back.", you said, your voice shaking with relief. "I was so worried."

"I missed you, mom." Harry replied, returning the hug. "But we're here now, and we have a job to do."

With the meeting complete, the battle for Hogwarts began. You joined the other members of the Order of the Phoenix and the students to defend the school against the Death Eaters. Your experience and determination were crucial as organized the defense lines and coordinated the combat groups.

"All at your stations!", you shouted, guiding the young wizards to strategic points. "Remember, we are fighting for freedom, for Hogwarts, for everyone we love!"

During the battle, you found yourself in several dangerous situations. At one point, you fought side by side with Kingsley Shacklebolt and Minerva McGonagall, conjuring powerful spells to stop the Death Eaters trying to invade the castle.

"Secure the entrance!" ordered McGonagall, her voice firm despite the chaos around her. "We can't let them pass!"

"We're with you!", you replied, casting protection spells and attacks in equal measure. The sense of unity and purpose was palpable, even in the midst of danger.

As the battle raged, you also helped organize the evacuation of the wounded, guiding them to the Hospital Wing where Madam Pomfrey was working miracles to save those she could.

"You're amazing, Pomfrey," you said, helping carry an injured student. "We couldn't do it without you."

The night dragged on and the fighting continued fiercely and seemed to have no end. You saw several students being killed without being able to do anything, trying not to think about it too much so as not to lose focus. Then the Dark Lord's voice boomed throughout the castle and beyond, delivering his dark message.

"You fought valiantly. Lord Voldemort knows how to value bravery. However, now your efforts are futile. You have lost yet another of your own, and I have become immune. Voldemort is ready to show mercy. I order my Death Eaters to withdraw immediately. You have one hour. Hand over Harry Potter and no one else will die. You have one hour to hand over Harry Potter to my power. Only Harry Potter must be handed over and no one else will be harmed."

Only then did you understand what Dumbledore had told you about a year and a half before.

Your love for Harry won't be able to save him when the time comes, Y/N.

Harry was the only one who could defeat the Dark Lord, and he might not live to witness it.

He had been raised like a lamb to the slaughter; waiting for the moment to perish at the hands of the monster that had killed his parents and taken away everything he loved most in his life.

You walked through the Great Hall and then you saw it. Remus Lupin's limp body. The sight hit you like a blow, and you ran to him, falling to your knees next to your friend's lifeless body.

"Not you, Moony. Not you," you murmured, hugging him tightly as tears ran down your face. The pain of loss was almost unbearable. Remus, who had always been a source of strength and wisdom, now lay there, ripped from you by the cruelty of war.

As the chaos of the battle dissipated, you stood by Remus's side, holding him as if you could somehow bring him back. But deep down, you knew he was gone, like so many others who had fought bravely.

The hall was full of bodies, friends and colleagues who had given their lives for freedom. Each represented a story, a loss, a deep scar in the hearts of those who survived.

Harry approached, his eyes red with unshed tears. He placed a hand on yor shoulder, offering silent comfort. "Let's keep going for them," he said softly. "For Remus, for all of them."

You nodded, feeling the weight of responsibility and pain, but also the determination to honor those who had fallen. "For Remus," you replied, your voice breaking. "We'll continue."

After that, you didn't see Harry anymore and you understood what that meant. Just hoping that, once again, Lily's protection would be with him. Harry deserved happiness, and Voldemort, death.

Time seemed to stop as you sat on the floor, immersed in so many memories of your godson, your son. You had never thought about having a child, just as had never planned to get married. But knowing that Harry had been orphaned and could end up in a loveless family made you change all your life plans for him.

You were an orphan and didn't know love until you arrived at Hogwarts. Harry deserved better, and you were pretty sure you managed to give him that.

Voldemort's deep voice, in an evil laugh, echoed throughout the castle, making everyone head outside.

"Harry Potter is dead! He was killed while fleeing, trying to save his own skin. Here is his body, handed over to you as proof that your hero perished in his attempt to escape."

Harry's body was carried by Hagrid, just as it had been years ago on that dark night in Godric's Hollow.

Your heart stopped for a moment, the sight of Harry limp in Hagrid's arms was an almost unbearable blow. You ran forward, ignoring the tears streaming down your face, and fell to your knees beside him. "No, it can't be," you murmured, touching Harry's face, cold and still. "Not you, Harry. Not you."

The world seemed to crumble around you, and despair took over. Neville reacted, and when anyone least expected it, Harry stood up and the battle was directed towards the Great Hall. The fight resumed. You found yourself dodging Bellatrix Lestrange's spells and protecting Ginny Weasley from her brutality.

Silence settled. Everyone around them stopped to watch as Harry and Voldemort began to circle each other, sizing each other up. The tension was palpable.

Voldemort, whose red eyes glowed lifelessly, whose face was void of any expression. He had just lost his Horcruxes. There was nothing left to hold on to. He needed Harry's wand to have any chance of surviving, but the wand refused to work for him.

Voldemort spoke in a low, rough voice. "You can't win, Harry. You know that now. You have nothing to resist. I am invincible."

Harry replied, his voice firm. "You're wrong, Tom. You're the one with nothing now. Nothing but the death you deserve."

Voldemort cast the Killing Curse, a thunderous sound like a cannon. But this time it was different. Harry's wand, which now recognized him as its true master, did not turn against him. Instead, Voldemort's spell lost power, ricocheted, and came back at himself. Voldemort fell to the ground, defeated, lifeless.

And then you knew the nightmare was finally over.

\-/

It has been many years since that epic day at Hogwarts. The battle scar left on everyone was visible, but peace had finally settled. You now spent your days in the tranquility of the old house, surrounded by photographs of moments that seemed distant.

Harry and Ginny's children, Albus, James and Lily, grew up around you. They called you “grandma” fondly, and you were proud of every moment you spent with them. One sunny afternoon, as everyone gathered in the living room, Albus spoke, concern evident on his young face.

"Grandma, I'm worried... the Sorting Hat might send me to Slytherin."

You smiled gently, remembering your own worries many years ago. "You know, Albus, the Sorting Hat wanted to send me there. But I insisted that I wanted to be in the same house as Sirius Black."

Albus' eyes widened. "Really? But why?"

"Because, darling, the heart speaks louder than any label. And he sent me to Gryffindor."

The children's laughter filled the room, dispelling the momentary tension. You looked around, feeling grateful for every moment of peace and love that surrounded your life now.

At night, while everyone slept, you looked out the window, the memories of those who were gone still echoing in your mind. Marlene McKinnon, whose absence never stopped hurting. You had retired years ago, but your mind and heart had never completely moved away from the battle that had changed everything.

Over the years, you helped Harry raise his children and witnessed every achievement and challenge you faced together. You saw him grow up not just as the Boy-Who-Lived, but as a man dedicated to peace and justice.

And now, as you watched the moonlight illuminate the peaceful garden, you knew that your role in the Harry Potter story had not just been one of struggle, but of love and care until your final days.

#marlene mckinnon x reader #marlene mckinnon x you #sirius black x reader #sirius black x you #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x you #harry potter x reader #harry potter x you #marauders x reader #marauders x you #marauders

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myadmiringmind · 2 years ago

Text

What’s This? |Remus Lupin

Remus Lupin Masterlist

Word Count: 1.4k

Genre: Fluff | established relationship

Pairing(s): Remus Lupin x Fem!Reader, James x Lily Potter, Marlene McKinnon x Dorcas Meadows, Sirius Black x Male!Unamed!Character, (mentioned) Mary Macdonald x Emmeline Vance, (mentioned) Frank x Alice Longbottom

Summary: You’ve been with Remus since Hogwarts and found out about his furry little secret before the two of you ever got into your romantic relationship. For years you’ve wanted nothing more than to give Remus one gift. This year is finally the year.

Warnings: Remus thinking low of himself (Remus being Remus), mentions of past transformations, cursing, crying (it’s not from something bad)

Characters: The Marauders (all four), Lily, Marlene McKinnon, Dorcas Meadows, Sirius’ boyfriend, and 4 year old Harry Potter

Characters Mentioned: Alice and Frank Longbottom, Regulus Black, Pandora Lestrange, Mary Macdonald, Emmeline Vance, 4 year old Neville Longbottom

Notes:

Voldermort is gone

Peter never betrayed them

They all lived

All characters are in their mid-twenties

Readers mother is a potioneer

—————————————————————

|PICTURES DO NOT BELONG TO ME|

The Potters were well known amongst their loved ones for their famous Christmas Party. James’ parents, even though aging, continued with their parties, and the lot of you attended every year.

After James and Lily got married they started hosting holiday gatherings as well. It was a bit more of an inner circle than what James’ parents did. But you all looked forward to it every year.

“Hold on..I got this!” James assured us as he struggled to open the box in his hand.

Little Harry laughed at his fathers clear struggle, earning a grin from James. Lily looked at James strangely.

“James,” Lily plucked the box from him, “It’s already opened.” Lily opened the box with ease.

A fit of hysterical laughter filled the room.

You were resting on your boyfriend's legs, listening and joining in on conversation as your head rested on his thighs and your hands were intertwined across your stomach.

“Y’know,” Sirius began, “This reminds me of when we won that quidditch match against Ravenclaw and James got drunk as shit-“

“Sirius!” Multiple voices chastised

“Whoops.” Sirius grinned, not even trying to seem guilty. Sirius was spread across a love seat while his boyfriend sat on the floor in front of him.

“I think it’s time for Harry to go to bed.” James said, rushing towards Harry as if Sirius’ swear word would poison his son.

“Not yet, you know he gets fussy when he goes to bed too soon.” Lily stopped her husband

“Yeah, Jamie,” Marlene jokes, “It’s a holiday, let the kid stay up.”

“You’re only saying that because you’ve never had to deal with a fussy baby.” Dorcas pointed out

Marlene snorted, “Of course I have, I used to have to babysit my siblings when my parents went out. I’ve dealt with plenty of fussy babies.” The blonde corrected her wife.

“Thanks for volunteering to take care of Harry, Marls.” James teased as he gently plopped the four year old in Marlene’s lap.

Marlene’s eyes looked as though they were going to pop out of her head as Harry tried to reach for Marlene’s bottle of beer.

“Uh, love, a little help here.” Marlene begged her wife quietly.

“I thought you were used to fussy babies.” Dorcas teased

“I was, but that was a long time ago!” Marlene shrieked as she tried to keep the bottle of alcohol away from the persistent toddler.

“I’ll take him.” Sirius scooped Harry up from Marlene’s lap, “I’m his godfather, I’m amazing when it comes to these types of things.” He said proudly

“You called us crying because Harry got a paper cut.” Lily deadpanned

“It was a bad paper cut!” Sirius exclaimed

“It did look pretty bad.” James agreed quietly with his brother

Sirius grinned, feeling victorious.

Lily sent James a look, “But you did make it seem like Harry was dying.” James said quietly

Sirius gasped and pointed at Lily, “How dare you turn him against me. I thought we were closer than this, prongs.” Sirius feigned hurt, “Moony, Wormy, back me up here.”

“Leave me out of it.” Remus said

“I’m sure you meant well, Sirius.” Peter said in a slight sarcastic voice

“Thank you, wormy.” Sirius chose to ignore Peter's tone.

“I do not understand how you deal with toddlers all the time, Lils. First, you and James, then Alice and Frank.” Marlene commented

“How is Alice and Frank?” Lily asked, suddenly very curious about one of her closest friends.

Marlene shrugged, “Good. Me and Dorcas went over for dinner earlier this week. Their little mutant clinged to my leg the entire time.” The blonde complained.

“It was sweet, he likes you.” Dorcas teased

“Tell that to the slobber left on my good pants.”

“I'm glad to hear that.” Lily said, “I got a letter from Mary yesterday morning as well.”

“How's our sunshine doin?” Sirius asked

“She and Emmeline are traveling right now…she thinks Emmeline is going to propose!” Lily's excitement was obvious.

“About time.” Sirius spoke up, “How long have they been together? Since third year?”

“Sixth year.” Lily corrected

“You’re next, Moony.” Peter said teasingly

“Yeah, Moony, when are you going to pop the question.” Sirius was only joking. All of them knew why Remus hadn’t proposed.

“Just be patient, pads.” Remus jokes

Sirius snorted, “You sound like my little brother. Though he and his blonde friend were a thing, then I found out he’s seeing some muggle from France.”

“Regulus?” Peter questioned

Sirius nodded, “The boys a blonde and everything.” Sirius looked towards Marlene, jokingly.

“Must be hot then.” Marlene jokes.

————————————————————

Remus had already changed into his pajamas and climbed into bed. He was only waiting for you to come to bed so he could fall asleep.

Meanwhile, you paced in the living room of your shared cottage. You sent occasional glances towards the basket that held the vials of potion your mom had produced for you.

“Love?” Remus called from the stairs

“In here!” You called back, you shuffled your feet in nervousness.

What if he didn’t like it? What if he thought you were trying to fix him? What if it doesn’t work?

Remus peeked his head in the doorway and smiled at you, making your heart melt in love.

“What’cha doin? It’s late.” He walked towards you and stiffened when he saw your uncomfortable posture.

“A-are you okay?” He asked worriedly

You managed a small smile and stepped towards him, straight into his arms and rubbed his back. Mostly to calm yourself.

“I have a present for you.” You whispered

Remus hummed in confusion, he hadn’t heard you, you realize.

“I have a present for you.” You said louder, pulling back from his chest but keeping his arms around his waist as his arms stayed around your shoulders.

His brows furrowed, “Okay?”

You sighed, stepping back and walking towards the basket, “Sit down.” You said

You heard shuffling and the creak of your chair.

Gently, you pulled a single vial from the basket and walked over to him. Without making eye contact you sank to your knees beside him.

He eyed your figure and chuckled nervously, “You’re freaking me out a bit..”

You sighed regretfully, “it’s nothing bad. I promise. It’s just..I’m worried you might not..like it?” You said for lack of better word

Remus smiled softly and squeezed your hand, resting on his thigh reassuringly, “Whatever it is, I’m sure I will love it.”

You smiled back and handed him the vial of potion.

His face contorted back to one of confusion.

“Look at the label.” You said quietly, scanning his face for his reaction.

You watched him turn the bottle over and read the label. Once…twice..three times.

“Is this..” he said with a disbelieving tone

“It’s Wolfsbane. I’ve got plenty of more in the basket over there.” You motioned towards the basket, “My mom made it so it should work perfectly.”

His face didn’t change.

“Rem..” you said in an anxious voice.

“How..why..?” His voice broke

“I know you’ve read about it in the “Daily Prophet” about a hundred times. I asked my mom..I paid for the ingredients and my mom brewed it. For you.”

Remus took in a shaky breath and looked at you with tear-filled eyes, “You shouldn’t have.” He said, holding back tears.

You sat up and wrapped your arms around his shoulder, “I wanted to. I know how much you’ve wanted this..how much you need this. You deserve every last vile and much more.”

Remus let out a sob and buried his head into your chest.

“Thank you, thank you.” He pulled you into his lap, and buried his face into your neck, “I don’t deserve you.”

You whispered sweet things into his ear as he cried. He only continued to hold you tighter.

When pulled back from your neck you cupped his cheeks and wiped his tears from his face.

He continued to mutter words of gratitude as he pulled you into a kiss. The kiss was full of so much adoration and love, as you knew he was trying to express how grateful he was.

“I love you.” He said

“I know, and I love you too.”

As the two of you went to bed that night, wrapped in each other's arms, there was a new feeling, one that you knew Remus could feel too. It was a new sort of understanding between you and your lover, one that you were sure would last the rest of your lives.

--------

edited on 05/16/2024

#remus lupin x reader #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin fluff #remus lupin x you #young remus lupin #remus x reader #the marauders fluff #the marauders era #the marauders x reader

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theglassofmiddleearth · 3 months ago

Text

Real or Not Real?

Chapter 1

Pairing: James Potter X reader, Sirius Black X reader (platonic) Remus X Reader Platonic.

Word count: 7.3k

Warning: Slow burn!

Series list

Autumn in the Scottish Highlands was, in itself, a reason to attend Hogwarts. Blue September skies, speckled with wispy clouds. The falling bronze leaves and the red hued sunsets.

This was no less than a second home to most students. A safe haven if you will. It was good to be going home.

She had grown up with Sirius and Regulus so her regular residence wasn't much of a home. Her parents Ignatius and Lucretia (Black) Prewett had left her to Orion and Walburga often so they could travel around France. No one actually knew where they would be or for how long they would travel. Only that they were always gone for indefinite amounts of time. They never sent letters, maybe an odd postcard or two. Y/N kept them hidden in a drawer in her room. (Call her sentimental if you will.) The terrible house of Black had adored her until she was sorted into Gryffindor along with Sirius. After that, they were both called blood traitors and treated as such. However, being someone else’s child, they treated her with less disdain than Sirius. That being said, they weren't the kindest of people, if at all.

Y/N would bring Sirius half her food when he would get sent to his room early without dinner. (which was quite often.) Sneaking things in her long sleeves and pockets whenever she could. Strangely, Kreacher had caught her once, but he said absolutely nothing and pretended that he saw nothing. (She would not forget this kindness.)

Things only escalated when they reached now, their fifth year. Y/N always took her yelling's, occasional threats, and hexes in silence whereas Sirius would fight back. In a way, she admired him for his bravery, knowing that he possessed the strength that she lacked. Whereas, his admiration for her resided in her refusal to back down, cry or beg. They had a mutual respect for one another. On another hand, she was somewhat envious of Regulus, he was apparently the perfect child who was, (seemingly) loved.

That was until she started to notice the bags under his eyes at the beginning of this year. She hadn’t really had the chance to talk to him, between Walburga’s looming presence and by the younger boy’s being sorted into Slytherin. However, she had the feeling he wasn’t exactly taking up his family ideals to heart.

Ever since fifth year began, Y/N and Sirius would never again call 12 Grimmauld Place home.

Y/N kicked her feet rhythmically, leaning her head on Lily Evans' shoulder. Their Hogwarts express compartment was filled with chatter, a welcome distraction from her thoughts. Somehow, over the past four years, she had been adopted into the Gryffindor group of girls in her dormitory. Lily, Alice, Marlene, and Dorcas. They had patiently and painstakingly, coaxed the girl out of her shell. Y/N was truly grateful for their friendship. In the beginning she couldn't help feeling that their kindness was based on pity. That had made it hard for her to trust them. Meaning, that before fifth year, she had never really interacted with them outside of the Gryffindor house dorms.

Marlene and Dorcras were pelting question after question at Alice, wanting to know the details of her crush on Frank Longbottom. Ever the curious couple, Y/N felt slightly glad that she wasn’t on the receiving end of their questions.

‘You’ll be “Alice Longbottom” one day.’ Y/N grinned teasingly at the girl with the pixie cut.

Alice laughed before shrugging good naturedly, 'We’ll see. Frank is awfully shy. I might have to be the one initiating everything.’

Marlene cut in with her arm around Dorcas, ever a picturesque couple. ‘And Lily’s last name will be “Potter!”’

Y/N stifled a giggle at the comment.

Lily gagged before letting out a sigh, ‘It’s not that Potter isn’t just a complete tool. I’m also just not into men.’

Y/N shrugged. ‘Yeah, you keep making eyes at Emmeline Vance during charms. It’s actually kind of sickening how adorable your pining face is.’

Lily flicked Y/N’s nose. ‘When are you going to start hanging out with us outside the dorms? All you do is go to the library or hide in the kitchens and bake while chatting with the elves.’

Dorcas pouted, adding, ‘You don't even sit with us during class!’

Y/N winced while casting her eyes down. Another thing, she really didn’t like drawing attention to herself or loud noises. Loud noises or attention usually lead to shouting and maybe a raised hand back at Grimmauld Place. They usually caused an unpleasant reaction out of the girl.

‘I can’t do crowds, I really am sorry. It’s not that I don't want to, you’re all lovely but-’

‘That's alright, you take your time love. You'll come talk to the rest of us when you're ready.’ Alice gently reassured her, patting the girl beside her on the arm.

Y/N smiled gratefully. The girls weren’t at all pushy about getting Y/N to hang out with them. However, they did always ask. They wanted her to feel and be included. None of them ever took a rejection personally. It was what made Y/N lower her walls all the more.

Lily ruffled Y/N’s hair affectionately. The rest of the girls continued their chat whilst the introverted girl stared out the window, still leaning on Lily’s shoulder, taking in the view and enjoying the company. The dark pine trees that littered the lands surrounding all the lochs that glittered in the rare sunlight. She let out a soft sigh, allowing herself to relax, just for that moment.

The hustle and bustle of the students, all ecstatic to see each other again made Y/N giddy. She had, however, skipped the feast, opting to go say hello to all the elves who had finished preparing the feast. She particularly enjoyed Wigby’s desserts. (He was admittedly her favourite house elf.) He made the best sweets which led to Y/N learning all her baking skills from the friendly house elf.

The halls were electric with energy, almost tangible. This year Y/N and her friends were to be taking their O.W.L exams. To be honest, she was completely ready, having already studied up to the N.E.W.T level of all her subjects. Studying and reading at Hogwarts was her escape, truly. She padded into the first class, Potions. She slipped into the seat next to Lily, quickly giving the red haired girl a gentle squeeze on her hand and flashing a smile at the rest of the girls who greeted her enthusiastically. They had convinced her to sit with them during classes this year instead of her usual spot at the back away from prying eyes.

As they continued their conversation, Y/N unpacked her quill, and parchment while waiting for the lesson to start. As she doodled a small picture of a cauldron, a cocky voice crooned out. ‘Ah, my sweet flower, how I’ve missed- Who are you and why are you in my seat?’ James Potter (Lily’s self proclaimed “sweetheart”) word vomited at the poor girl.

Y/N gripped the desk tightly, her knuckles turning white. Confrontation, how lovely. As much of an amusing topic of complaint he was that she had heard from conversation with the girls. She wasn't sure of his thoughts of her. What if he thought she was a complete weirdo? She found a spot on the table and stared at it with the utmost concentration, unable to bring her eyes to meet the owner of the voice. Lily, also ignored the voice. Instead opting to cover Y/N’s hand with her own, continuing her conversation with Marlene, and Dorcas about the importance of studying for their O.W.L’s

‘Ah, you’ll survive the lesson James, come on,’ a voice drawled, waving James away. A voice which Y/N immediately recognised as belonging to Sirius.

Y/N looked up and turned around, wanting to meet Sirius’s eyes to mouth a, “Thank you” but her eyes met hazel ones instead.

‘Oh.’ James mumbled with wide eyes. He was standing right behind her, not having moved back to his actual “spot”.

Y/N’s eyes darted away immediately before finding Sirius’s. His eyebrows were raised with mirth and he smiled, shrugging his shoulders. She flashed him a small smile before turning around, basically ignoring James Potter. This was new. People didn't usually ignore him. They would at least acknowledge him, but to be completely silent? James was puzzled. Had he offended her in some way before?

‘Mr Potter, I trust you will be able to find your seat?’ Professor Slughorn called out, striding into the classroom, his large belly preceding him through the door. He was Y/N's favourite professor. He was kind to Lily and Y/N. (Probably due to their prowess in potions but nonetheless!)

‘Yes sir.’ James sat down without protest, his gaze lingering on the unfamiliar girl before his thoughts were interrupted by Professor Slughorn. He hadn’t noticed her before. How had he not noticed someone for four years? He was always making friends with people.

‘Today, we will be assigning our first assignment of the year. An essay on polyjuice potion. Four weeks sounds like ample time does it not?’

As the professor announced their first assignment. James couldn't help but notice how Y/N avoided looking in any direction that wasn't the front or her notes. He leaned in close to Sirius, whispering just loud enough for him to hear amongst the groans of the class,

‘What's her deal?’ He asked, glancing at Y/N again.

Y/N dutifully jotted down the specifics of the assignment, (unbeknownst to her) under James’s gaze. She allowed Lily to periodically glance at her notes. She whispered something into Lily’s ear to which the redhead smiled at her and nodded.

‘What are they whispering about?’ James nudged Sirius again.

‘Y/N probably asked if Lily wanted to pair up.’ Remus interrupted. ‘She is rather shy.’ As Sirius shot James a look for nudging him repeatedly.

‘You know her?’ James gaped at the sandy haired boy.

‘James, Y/N has been in our classes since first year. She just doesn’t really talk.’

‘Besides, you’re too busy pining over your “Lilypad” to really notice any other women.’ Sirius mused with his arms crossed, feeling slightly protective of his little cousin.

‘And how do you know her?’ James retorted. Ignoring Sirius's quip, however true it could have been.

‘She’s my cousin.’

‘Huh.’ Remus blinked.

‘You didn't know that?’ James glanced at Remus ‘I thought you knew her?’

‘No, I just know she’s practically topping almost every class, she doesn’t really speak to-’

‘Now boys, would you like to share your conversation with the rest of Gryffindor and Slytherin?’ Slughorn called out to the boys, his large walrus moustache twitched above his lip, the man seemingly amused by their chattering.

‘No sir.’ Remus replied evenly.

‘Well then! I shall announce the pairings for the assignment!’ He smiled merrily, ignoring the cries of protest from the rest of the class.

Y/N’s face paled and she whipped her head to look at Lily. Usually they were paired off in their seats, not randomly. Y/N had truly enjoyed his classes up till now but this? Suddenly Slughorn was rapidly losing his status as favourite professor.

Lily looked at her worriedly, “Lets just hear who you have to pair with. If it's someone obnoxious, we’ll go speak to the professor or I’ll swap with you.”

Y/N’s heart swelled with emotion at her friend's empathy.

‘I couldn’t ask that of you Lily.’ Y/N whispered, misty-eyed. Kindness was a luxury that Y/N had so often been not able to afford for so long. Seeing it up close and displayed just for her, she couldn't help but be slightly overwhelmed.

‘It’s okay, I’m the one who offered.’ Lily patted her arm, reassuring the fidgety girl.

‘If I could marry you Lily Evans, I would do it in a heartbeat.’ Y/N tugged at Lily’s sleeve, looking down bashfully.

‘Now if only you were into women.’ Lily grinned, squishing Y/N’s cheeks with her hands gently. ‘What a treat you would be.’

‘Lily!’ The shy girl pouted, batting away the other girl's hands playfully.

‘Ms Mckinnon, and Ms Meadowes,’ To which the couple let out a happy cheer.

‘James Potter, and Lily Evans,’ Lily slumped over immediately, letting her head rest onto the desk with a quite audible Thwump! To which Y/N giggled, at her sudden change in demeanour.

James was completely caught off guard when Professor Slughorn announced his partner for the assignment. He had been so preoccupied with the revelation of Y/N being related to Sirius and trying to figure her out that he hadn’t even been paying attention to the teacher. He couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle at Lily’s exaggerated head bang onto the desk after hearing her own partner. Before he could think of a witty comeback, he heard the next pairing.

‘Sirius Black, and Y/N Prewett.’ Y/N perked up, looking at Lily with bright eyes, shaking her head with a smile. This was one of the people she would be able to work with!

‘Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew.’ The two boys subtly high fived. Strangely enough, James wasn’t making a huge fuss over being paired with Lily. Strange enough for even Y/N to take notice, though she refrained from commenting.

Remus took a side glance at James, he wasn't sure if he would regret asking his friend his question.

‘You're not ecstatic over being paired with Lily?’ Remus questioned.

‘I am, I just...’ James shook his head. At this point, he knew Lily wasn't into him. In fact, he wasn't even sure she liked men. He wasn't the only boy in Hogwarts to have ever asked her out. At this point, it was just a long bit and a way to keep other girls from approaching him.

Sirius smirked knowingly. He may have been a lazy student but he sure as hell wasn't stupid. He could tell that after three years of incessant rejections, James had quickly lost his desire to date Lily.

‘Since you all feel the need to cheer at each pairing. I shall leave the list on the board and you can all cheer at the same time. Take this time to move into your pair and discuss your assignment. That'll be all for this lesson. Welcome back students.’ Slughorn's eyes glimmered with amusement, revealing the quip towards the class to be good natured.

The professor sat back down at his seat as the class began to disperse once again into chatter and movement. He generously answered stray questions from the students who wandered to his desk in need of assistance.

Y/N stood up and walked over to Sirius’s desk and nudged his foot with her own. Grabbing his attention soundlessly.

Sirius gave her a genuine smile and shoved James with his shoulder.

‘Go over to your “Lily flower”. I’ve got to discuss the assignment with my partner.’

James blinked owlishly at Y/N, still taking in her very existence.

‘Sorry?’ Y/N whispered, looking at him hesitantly.

‘Quite alright,’ James nodded, standing up to walk towards Lily without his signature smirk.

Y/N sat down with Sirius and smiled shyly before asking, ‘Is Potter alright? I thought he would be thrilled to be up partnered with Lily?’

Sirius blinked, ‘You keep up with this stuff?’

Y/N tilted her head from side to side, ‘Not particularly, more like I listen to Lily complain in the dorms. It’s hard to miss. She says he's quite…’

‘Stubborn?’

‘We’ll go with that.’ She quickly agreed, not wanting to rat out her friend.

‘Hey so this means you finally have to talk to me outside of our house.’ Sirius teased. Honestly, they had never really talked, at Grimmauld Place or at Hogwarts.

Y/N grinned at him and retorted, ‘I’m not sharing my food with you here at home Sirius, we get plenty to eat at here.’

They shared a smile. Knowing they had each other's backs even without constant catch ups was a good feeling. The unspoken bond they shared wasn’t obvious to outsiders, but Sirius and Y/N knew, and that was enough.

‘So, the assignment. We’re describing how to brew the potion, all the ingredients and for extra credit, we can list out the dangers of brewing potion such as the errors and misuse!’

Sirius sighed, ‘I’m not really good with the-’

‘You’re good at finding information, I’ll handle the writing, you just tell me the information and I’ll make it sound good!’ Y/N nodded excitedly.

‘What do you mean?’ Sirius stared blankly at the girl, completely unconvinced.

‘You always know where, how and who to prank! It's the same thing!’

‘It’s completely different.’ Sirius deadpanned.

‘Where did you learn the hair changing spell?’ Y/N crossed her arms.

‘In a transfiguration textbook. I was putting the books back in the library after Remus and oh-’ Sirius nodded slowly as he came to realise what the girl meant by being “good”.

‘See?’ Y/N smiled at him brilliantly, seeming proud of his (apparent) talent.

‘Y’know, this is nice, why don’t we do this more often.’

‘I don’t do-’

‘Crowds, yeah I know, and at the house, we’re too emotionally exhausted to talk.’

They both let out a heavy sigh before chuckling at their shared experience. Comfortable silences were rare, but together, the cousins were able to revel in each other's company. A truly unique connection formed by trauma. 'At least something good came out of it?' They had mused.

As the rest of the class chattered away, discussing the project or gossiping, Y/N and Sirius decided to meet up after dinner that night and every Wednesday. The pair discovered they had Defence Against the Dark Arts next. Sirius offered to walk with her to class, to which she accepted gratefully, mentioning Lily and Alice would probably also be with her.

As the class began to filter out, Lily and Alice had walked over to Y/N to wait for her.

‘You’ve got DADA next, with us right?’ Alice beamed.

Y/N nodded, somewhat feeling excited to have people to walk to class with. Being with three people wouldn't be a crowd!

‘There's a new teacher this year!’ Lily supplied this new information.

‘Again?’ Y/N wrinkled her nose. It was rather odd actually, ever since professor Merrythought had retired, it seemed as if every Defence teacher had resigned after a year.

A rather strange situation, but, none of her concern.

‘Who is it?’ She asked as a passing question, not overly invested in the answer.

‘Some guy named Knittingley.’ Remus piped up from behind them, startling Y/N into almost dropping her books. She scrambled to regain her grip on them, before the culprit himself had taken some of them in his arms.

‘Sorry love,’ he grinned sheepishly, ‘you alright?’ To which she nodded and gave him a forgiving smile. He held onto her books, silently offering to carry them for her.

‘Ah, you down right scared the poor thing, Remus. Now she won't ever talk to us again.’ Sirius whined before breaking into a cheeky smirk, waggling his eyebrows up and down.

Y/N considered throwing something at her relative but then decided it would be too much work and that her books weren’t made for throwing.

‘What’s the hold up?’ James questioned from the doorway, calling out to the group, ‘Lets go, Peter’s already gone ahead.’

Suddenly it wasn’t only three people anymore.

Somehow, Y/N had been looped into walking to class with five other people. Technically five was a group, not really a crowd, right? Sirius had swung his arm over Y/N, as if preventing her from running away. Okay well now it's definitely a group.

Lily and Alice were in the front, enthusiastically discussing the topics of the next class. They were fervently hoping that their first class wasn’t going to be a revision on Boggarts, as they knew it would be in the curriculum. Meanwhile, in the back, James was asking Remus about something about mandrake leaves and cycles of the moon.

In the midst of her conversation with Sirius, their formation, Y/N noticed. It seemed like almost a barrier against other students? Y/N internally shook her head. Most likely a coincidence, right? Why would it be intentional?

Sirius was babbling on, about the effects of conditioner on hair and how he found it amusing that James would use one that had a charm to make his hair extra bouncy. Y/N had stiffened a chuckle at this while James whined as he heard this and protested that he needed the extra shine and bounce.

‘It makes me look nice!’

To which Y/N nodded along, looking at Sirius, not noticing that James had beamed when she seemingly agreed. Remus looked on with a rather pleased smile, his nose scrunching. He had always wanted to befriend the shy girl. Now that she had somehow mustered up the courage (been practically physically restrained) to hang out with their group. He, along with the rest of the group, was excited to witness this side of the girl they had never seen before.

As the entire group arrived at the classroom on the third floor, Y/N’s gaze drew to the sweeping ivory dragon skeleton that hung from the ceiling. This had to be one of her favourite classrooms, just for the dragon. Even as she had grown up in the Wizarding world, there was still an element of wonder that she could never get used to.

While Slughorn was her, (almost former) favourite professor. Defence Against the Dark Arts would have to be her favourite subject. Although she was unable to defend herself at home, here in the classroom, she could learn to defend herself from things in the outside world. An escape from reality.

‘Now now, step lively everyone!’ A low voice announced, from the top of the staircase. A tall, thin, almost elderly man skipped down the steps. His bright pink cloak floating behind him, desperately trying to keep up. He had a pleasant looking face with a well kept beard, one that reminded Y/N of the old white haired wizards from fairy tales. His clothes were flashy. A nice cream coloured suit under his cloak, decorated with white stars that shimmered with his movement. He looked rather spry for his age.

‘Welcome to Defence Against the Dark Arts students,’ he gave a small bow, ‘Now, I trust all of you have noticed the shaking closet?’

To which most of the students nodded. It was reflective, periodically clattering, rattling. As if something was trying desperately to escape.

Lily and Alice quickly paled.

‘Well then, quickly, let’s all make a line,’ The man called out, causing the students to scramble to try and position themselves to be nearest to the back.

Lily and Alice were frozen still, not only shocked that their predictions had been correct. But also they remembered their rather tormenting experience in third year with boggarts. It was obvious to say that they did not want to be facing this creature again.

With a sudden burst of courage and empathy, Y/N took both the girls hands and led them to stand behind her, not realising that she was now at the front of the line.

‘Wait-’

‘Ah, we have a brave volunteer! Step forward Ms…?’

‘Y/N Prewett..’ she replied hoarsely, suddenly extremely aware of her tongue.

As she nervously stared at the reflective closet, Professor Knittingley peered at her through his round spectacles. (They reminded Y/N of Professor McGonagall's own glasses.)

‘When facing a boggart, the spell that we use for the incantation is called, “Riddikulus.” Now, without wands, come on, all together!’

The class repeated after the Professor with unsure voices. Y/N hesitantly mumbled out the word in time of the class. She wasn’t worried about what the boggart would turn into. No In fact, the girl had a very good idea who it would turn into. Her only worry was what her friends would think. Would they laugh at her? Would Sirius be offended?

Y/N’s spiral was quickly cut off by Lily’s comforting hand on her back and Alice’s hand squeeze.

‘Yes and the thing that finishes off a Boggart most is laughter!’ The professor bounced, seemingly excited to see his students fend off their worst nightmares. He waved Y/N forward and whispered in her ear.

‘What do you fear the most Ms Prewett?’ His question was immediately answered with,

‘My aunt.’

Professor Knittingley’s eyes flashed with sympathy. It wasn't unknown that she was staying with Walburga and Orion. Actually, most of the teachers knew, which was why they rarely if ever picked her to speak in class. The reputation and beliefs of the Black family was quite well known within the wizarding world.

‘Well, I want you to,’ he wiggled his bushy eyebrows, 'picture her with a beard, and wearing my clothes. White stars and all!’ His eyes were glittering with amusement, as he stepped back. Y/N gave him a panicked glance as he backed away from her.

‘Wand at the ready!’ He encouraged her. ‘When I open this door, you shall repeat the incantation and turn your boggart into,’ he whipped around to face his students, ‘something funny!’

The professor flicked his wand, opening the closet to reveal darkness. For a second, Y/N was filled with false hope, maybe the closet had been empty.

She was wrong.

A pale boney hand reached out, gripping the side of the door.

‘Steady.’ The professor called out, ready to jump in if things went awry.

The slightly trembling girl gripped her wand tightly, waiting for the creature to fully reveal itself. The hand led to an arm, a torso and then the severe face of Walburga Black. The rest of the class was silent, watching the girl in the front of the line. Each student felt sorry for the girl but none were willing (or able) to take her place.

Y/N took a short, sharp breath as the boggart, now in the shape of her aunt, took its steps out of the closet. Y/N steeled herself, lifted her wand and shouted, ‘Riddikulus!’ Picturing her least favourite aunt in her new professor’s clothes.

With a whip cracking sound, the woman in front of her instantaneously grew a stringy beard, her clothes now morphed to match the Defence teacher. Y/N let out a small relieved giggle as the creature looked around confusedly in its pink star spangled clothing. The mood of the classroom seemed to have considerably lightened as excited whispers and laughter broke out.

‘That's it! Let’s keep the line moving!’ The cheery professor gestured for the line to keep moving.

One by one, the students moved through the line. Each defeating their own fears, Sirius’s being himself, in Slytherin robes. Lily was a young girl, black hair, and shrewd eyes.

Remus was coming to the front of the line until the chiming of a clock rang from the front of the classroom. Saved by the bell, or in this case, alarm clock.

‘I’m afraid that is all we will have time for today!’ Professor Knittingley clapped his hands together. ‘I shall see you all next lesson where we will be learning the Human-presence-revealing Spell!’

As the class trickled out, Sirius and Lily dashed towards Y/N.

‘I’m so sorry you had to go first.’ Lily’s apology was hurried, grasping Y/N’s face to check if she was alright.

‘Let her go Evans, it's not like the Boggart had a wand.’ Sirius laughed before turning to Y/N and giving her a great hug.

‘You were so brave. One day, you’ll be able to stand up to that old bat.’ He whispered, voice full of pride.

Y/N relaxed, realising that Sirius did not think any less of her for having his mother as her boggart. In fact, he was more worried about whether or not his cousin would be able to handle her own.

James and Remus followed suit, both giving Y/N a pat on the head whilst Alice looped her arm around Y/N’s, leading her out of the room.

The rest of the day went rather smoothly. Y/N hadn't encountered any other boggarts or frightening creatures, nor was she called on to speak. As all her classes finished, she had an hour of down time that Sirius and her had decided earlier to appoint as their essay time.

Y/N made her way through the sand stone corridors, making a note that dinner was in an hour and that she should probably go visit the kitchens again. She missed the fragrant smell of baking cookies and icing.

As she lightly stepped into the library, making sure not to alert Madam Prince of her presence. It was easy to find a seat, seeing as it was only the first day back and most people had opted to spend the day reconnecting with friends.

Y/N smiled, she could have the whole desk to herself for once! (at least until Sirius came.)

Placing her books onto the well worn dark oak desks, she walked over to the shelves of books and began her search for a copy of “Book of Potions.” Y/N’s eyes darted along the book's spines, making a swift assessment. It wasn't here. With a great pout, she left the B section (The book was written by potioneer, Zygmunt Budge.) and slumped back over her desk. How had someone beat her to the book? There was no one else from fifth year here apart from herself!

‘Looking for something?’ A low, smooth voice interrupted her mini tantrum.

‘Sirius!’ She looked up, looking startled.

‘Why the tone of surprise?’ He grinned down at her, ‘Did you think I would be late?’ He took a seat next to her, book in hand.

‘No,’ Y/N shook her head, ‘It’s just that,’

‘Mind if I join you?’ Another voice interjected, slightly higher, smoother and calm.

Y/N cocked her head to look at the person behind her cousin. ‘Remus?’

The boy flashed a shy, but pretty smile at Y/N, ‘Y’know I’m surprised you’ve let me an’ James talk to you. I’d expected you to ignore us. Of course, Lily and Sirius talk about you all the time and they’ve only ever had lovely things to say.’ Remus rambled nervously, taking his seat to the left of Y/N while Sirius took the right.

‘That's why James and I were so familiar with you. I hope it didn't make you uncomfortable.’ The boy finally finished, seeming slightly anxious at her response.

‘It’s the same for me,’ Y/N beamed, ‘Lily says you’re quite calm and that I would probably like studying with you.’ She unpacked her quills and continued, ‘I also know you’re about to take my top spot in transfiguration if I’m not careful!’ She teased, letting him know she was perfectly comfortable.

‘That’s my girl.’ Sirius ruffled her hair, exceptionally proud that she was finally talking to people she usually didn’t.

Remus’s ears were flushed red at Y/N’s compliment. It was true that Remus was actually quite talented in spells. But he was sure he wasn’t coming quite as close to first in class as Y/N was making him out to be. Lily had been right, Y/N really was quite loveable.

‘Oh! I also hear that James is an exceptional flyer?’ She hummed, flipping through the potions book that Sirius had given her before. ‘He seems nice, I do like the funny things he does when he moons over Lily.’ Y/N let out a quiet giggle.

‘You have to hear about that quite a bit don’t you.’ Remus laughed, knowing his friend’s unsuccessful attempts to charm the red haired girl.

‘I don’t even think she likes men.’ Sirius mused, to which Y/N raised an eyebrow with a knowing smile.

As they continued to chat, Y/N and Remus had begun on their essays, Peter had joined them at some point. For the first time in a while, she felt safe with people who weren’t her Gryffindor girls. It was a welcome feeling. Secretly, Y/N hoped that this would last until graduation or even further. A fool’s hope really. As they continued to work, Remus had asked her how she was able to write to such a high standard. Y/N simply replied that she referenced fiction, non-fiction and textbooks and used their writing styles to improve her own.

Soon, the small group’s work was interrupted by a sort of,… growling noise. Y/N looked up, meeting Sirius's eyes.

‘Dinner time?’ She whispered, attempting to hold back her laughter and somewhat failing.

‘Yes please!’ he replied, unashamed of his loud complaining stomach.

Making their way to the great hall, Peter led the way while chatting with Sirius about how he wanted to buy some licorice wands on their first visit to Hogsmead. Remus was walking slightly behind her, his shoulder brushing against her back.

‘You’ll sit with us right?’

Y/N’s lips drew into a thin line as she looked at his pleading face. His eyes were wide and brown, sort of akin to a puppy begging for pats. Her resolve was quickly shaken. If it wasn’t obvious now, Y/N had a weakness for pretty things.

‘Yeah but only if I don't have to-’

‘You’ll sit between me and Sirius, or Lily, or one of us. Don’t worry.’ Remus said cheerfully, gently putting his hands on her shoulder. She could have shaken him off if she wanted to, but she found that she rather enjoyed the affection of her new friends.

Approaching the table, James called out from his seat, ‘Oi, I’ve got news, Gryffindor tryouts for the quidditch team are tonight, right after dinner! You lot wanna come watch?’ He said, before spooning some pumpkin soup into his mouth. The rest of the 5th year girls were there, waving at Y/N excitedly.

‘Chew with your mouth shut mate.’ Remus grimaced.

‘Im swallowing. It's just soup.’ James pouted, before spotting Y/N.

‘Hey,’ he patted the empty seat next to him, ‘Come sit!’

His enthusiastic greeting was hard to ignore. She took the seat beside him cautiously, giving Lily a ‘what is going on’ look. Lily nodded encouragingly whilst Dorcas slid a dish containing all her favourite foods over to Y/N.

‘You guys are the best.’ She whispered to the girls, happily picking up a fork and beginning to dig in.

‘Right, Y/N I’m going to be trying out to be a keeper.’ Marlene said with gusto. ‘You’ll come with Lily and the girls to watch me sweep the competition won’t you?’

Y/N made a non committal noise, too busy revelling in the taste of the food that Dorcas had given her.

‘Wait, how come try outs are so early this year?’ Sirius asked, reaching for a drumstick and putting one in Peter’s plate and then grabbing another for his own.

‘Well, I want to get a headstart on the rest of the teams.’ James shrugged. ‘Early bird gets the worm.

‘Merlin's beard James,’ Y/N looked up at the curly haired boy with wide eyes. ‘Are you Quidditch Captain this year?’ Her shyness suddenly forgotten in her surprise.

James flushed slightly at her revelation. Usually he would have taken it straight to his ego but somehow the wide eyed look from Y/N left him feeling rather shy.

‘Yeah, Minnie told me just before my last class so I told her we would hold tryouts tonight.’ He shrugged humbly, somewhat unnaturally. ‘She said would make sure everyone knew by dinner.’

Lily raised her eyebrows. Since when did James Potter know how to take compliments gracefully? She turned to glance at her friend, who was congratulating James on the title and smiled. It seemed as though Y/N was a good influence on him. She turned to Alice and nudged her, nodding her head in Y/N’s direction.

‘Wouldn’t it be great if Y/N was always around? Then we’d not only have our girl with us, James wouldn't be such a cocky prick all the time.’

With that, both witches dissolved into fits of giggles.

~~~

With dinner finishing, Y/N had hesitantly agreed to come watch the Quidditch try-outs. The reason? Lily had promised to stay beside her with Sirius all night. (and promised her a chocolate frog.) The group took the path from the great hall to their portrait hole, expertly navigating the moving stairs. The boys, except James who had to get changed, said they would wait in the common room.

Y/N and the others reached their room and the girls began to scramble for scarves and gloves whilst Marlene got changed into the Quidditch robes.

Y/N looked pointedly into her trunk, she didn’t own a pair of gloves. She had hardly needed them since she never left the castle of her own free will. Sighing, she wrapped a tattered scarf that she had taken from home.

‘Y/N, sweetheart, that isn’t going to be enough.’ Marlene shook her head, pulling on her Quidditch gloves.

‘I don’t have any gloves.’ She pouted, holding out her hands for her friend to see.

‘Y’know what, you can borrow mine, and the next Hogsmead trip, we’ll go buy a pair for you together. What do you think?’ Marlene gently slipped her own gloves onto her friend’s outstretched hands, holding them after she was done. She was heavily anticipating Y/N’s answer, Y/N had never agreed to-

‘I would love to.’ Y/N replied without hesitation, bouncing slightly on the spot.

Dorcas, Lily, and Alice gaped at the girl. Had she just agreed to leave the castle? Twice in a day? After all these years of them trying, it had finally paid off! The girls rushed to envelop Y/N in a hug, tackling her to the ground.

‘Oomph’

‘I can’t believe you said yes!’ A very excited Lily crowed, jumping up and down on the spot.

‘We have to celebrate!’ Dorcas exclaimed, equally as joyful.

‘We will! But first, we have to get to the Quidditch pits! I don’t want Marlene to miss the try outs!’ Y/N ushered the girls out of the common room, flustered from the exchange but jovial nonetheless. She really finally felt ready after four years. She trusted these girls, and even without the addition of the new friends she had made, Y/N knew that she had wanted to make an effort for her friends this year.

As they made their way back to the common room, they were greeted with,

‘There you are! Come on now, we’re going to be late!’ From an impatient James.

‘Are you warm enough?’ Peter asked Y/N, noticing her dishevelled scarf.

‘I think so?’ Y/N looked at the end of her fraying scarf before suddenly it was being unwrapped from her neck.

‘Here, you can borrow mine.’ Sirius instead, coiled his own warm scarf around hers, then reached for James’s and tugged it off him.

‘I’ll just take Jamie's!’ He snickered while James protested.

‘Ah come on, you’ll be flying. You don’t need it!’ He gave Y/N a wink, while ushering everyone out of the portrait hole.

The merry group made their way outside of the castle and onto the path that led to the Quidditch pitch. James and Marlene chatted about the possibilities of their teammates this year. Marlene wasn’t threatened, she vowed that she would out fly everyone (Not James but she wouldn't admit that.)

Y/N and the rest of the Gryffindor group shuffled into a stand to watch, sitting down and discussing the prospects of this year's team.

Now despite never really watching Quidditch or having an interest in the sport. Y/N could tell James was on another level to the other players. When he wasn’t showing off to his friends, he was focused, and driven. Outflying all the others expertly while handling the Quaffle, dodging and weaving between the bludgers aimed at him. Y/N was in awe.

As the sun was setting, the trials had come to an end. James had announced that he would be putting up a list soon and assured that everyone did well. He made his way back to the group where he let out a big breath.

‘Bloody hell I am tired.’ He sat down, practically collapsing. Whilst Lily, Y/N, Dorcas, and Alice were fussing over Marlene. The boys were whooping over James’s successful tryouts. James responded by saying he was sure that his team would win the house cup this year. Y/N looked up at the moon in its waxing gibbous stage. It would be a full moon soon. She wanted to remember this moment for a long time, being with her friends, old and new. Her heart swelled with emotion watching her friends interact with each other. A happy memory, one to cherish.

James and Marlene had ended up packing away the equipment and getting changed in their respective locker rooms. Y/N had been murmuring to the group about how she never really learnt to fly properly. She wrinkled her nose in disapproval, remembering her lessons with the rest of the Gryffindor fifth years. She had hovered for maybe about a foot off the ground and that was it.

‘Yeah, I don’t think flying is for me.’ Y/N said with a grim face.

‘Blimey Y/N, you can’t be friends with the Gryffindor house captain and think that way!’ James trotted over, in his school robes. He was grinning cheekily, something Y/N would in time learnt meant James Potter had an idea.

‘James! You were amazing! You and Marlene absolutely blew everyone away!’ Y/N exclaimed, half truthfully and half hoping he would forget what she had just said. To be honest, Y/N had always wondered what it would feel like to fly. She had heard it was better than apparition.

‘Has anyone ever offered to teach you?’ James asked, while the group trekked back to the castle. The rest of the people pushing up front, talking about maybe getting a late night snack.

‘Well, Sirius actually hasn’t offered before. We don’t really get that much time to uh,’ Y/N winced at the mention of their house life. ‘We don't really have much time for extracurricular hobbies back, y’know..’ She shrugged, not completely bothered.

‘Well, how about this,’ James ran a few steps in front of Y/N, stopping to face her. ‘If Gryffindor wins the house cup, I’ll teach you to fly!’ His eyes glimmered with eagerness, somehow similar to Remus’s puppy eyes.

‘Aw man. HOW do you guys do the puppy eyes so WELL?!’ Y/N groaned with a smile, rolling her eyes. ‘Alright, IF you win the house cup, I’ll let you teach me to fly and not a moment sooner!’ She teased him, bumping his shoulder as they continued to walk.

As they walked, the group ahead of them had now changed conversations, talking about how glad they were that Y/N was finally opening up to them. They had also decided that the group would be visiting the kitchens for a late night snack.

‘Y’know, you’re friendlier than I thought you’d be.’ James caught up, looking at her with a small grin. He wasn’t sure that she would have accepted the rest of his group if not for Lily and her friends.

‘I’m like this only to my friends. The girls trust you guys so I trust you.’ She gave him a small wavering smile. ‘I’m still nervous but, so far I’ve had no reason to challenge that trust in you!’ She looked down at her feet, making sure she wouldn’t slip on anything. It had gotten significantly darker.

James’s gaze softened, his eyebrows relaxing. ‘You’ll be safe with us Y/N. I promise.’

‘Really?’ Y/N said half teasingly, a sliver of hope slipped through her voice.

‘Really.’ James nudged her with his shoulder. ‘Come on, let's get back before curfew!’ He took Y/N’s hand and bound up the steps to the castle. ‘Last one back has to wash my robes!’

‘EW’ A chorus complained, before chaos ensued. The girls pushed past the boys and ran after Y/N and James, who had already made it to the grand staircase. Cries of betrayal from the boys, who were quickly catching up, rang through the halls as the girls burst into laughter.

‘We’ll get you!’

‘Run!’

‘Nowhere to hide ladies!’

‘Nuh uh!’

Y/N laughed at the sight of her new and old friends scrambling to follow after her. This year was definitely going to be something special.

53 notes · View notes

cruelsummer-ficfest · 1 year ago

Text

Hey Kids—Reading is Fun!

Dear Readers,

Your mods (@femme--de--lettres and @greyeyedmonster-18) are beside themselves with how many of you have participated in Cruel Summer Fic Fest: The Eras Tour this year.

From full novel-length fics to poetry, from microfics to multi-chaptered works and everything in between, we've been blown away—enchanted, even—by this year's submissions. This fest started as a labor of love for both of us as avid Swifties and HP fic authors and we couldn't have imagined in our wildest dreams the way you've embraced it with open arms.

With that said, we're pleased to offer the below list of this year's love stories. Due to tumblr restrictions on tagging, we weren't able to tag all of the individual author tumblr accounts (something something look what you made us do something something) so we've tried to link to ao3 as much as possible, but if you like a fic—check out that author's ao3! We've tried to connect you as directly to the mainstream of what each author writes in that respect, so if you happen to find a new fave, you can show them more love on the rest of their works!

To make a long story short, the majority of these works can be found in the Cruel Summer Fic Fest: The Eras Tour collection on ao3—with a catalogue of over 100 works, there's something for everybody, and we hope you'll take a peek at this year's truly incredible works.

We've had the time of our life fighting dragons with you, but sometimes, you know in your soul when it's time to go.

Thanks for making this cruel summer another one for the books.

Until Next Time,

Your Mods (Grey and Andie)

Cruel Summer Fic Fest: The Eras Tour

(all fics are followed by the character, relationship, or pairing that each work focused on. for the purposes of our list, both "x" and "/" indicate some level of romantic relationship, while "&" entails a platonic or otherwise friendly one)

Era One (Debut/Midnights)

Stay Beautiful (Regulus x James)

Sweet Nothing (Ted Tonks x Andromeda Black)

Midnight Rain (Sirius x Remus)

A Perfectly Good Heart (Harry/Fred/George)

Bigger Than the Whole Sky (Lavender x Pansy)

Anti-Hero (Sirius x Remus)

Tim McGraw (James x Lily)

Invisible (Harry x Ginny)

Should've Said No (Ron x Hermione)

Dear Reader (Draco x Astoria, Part 1 of 6)

Glitch (Bellatrix Black x Voldemort)

The Outside (Ron x Hermione)

Bejeweled (Ron x Hermione)

Maroon (Ron x Hermione)

Teardrops on My Guitar (Ron x Hermione)

Mastermind (Ron x Hermione)

Era Two (1989/Evermore)

Wonderland (Snape x Trelawney)

Dorothea (Sirius x Remus)

New Romantics (Regulus x Lily)

You Are In Love (James x Lily)

Wildest Dreams (Sirius x James)

Long Story Short (Draco x Harry)

This Love (Pandora x Lily)

All You Had to Do Was Stay (Hermione x Pansy)

Shake It Off (Draco x Harry)

I Wish You Would (James x Lily)

Blank Space (Ron x Hermione)

I Know Places (Draco x Hermione)

Gold Rush (Ron x Hermione)

Welcome to New York (Sirius x Remus)

Style (Bellatrix x Voldemort)

Happiness (Narcissa Black x Emmeline Vance)

Tis the Damn Season (Harry x Bill Weasley)

It's Time to Go (Teddy x Victoire)

Cowboy Like Me (Astoria x Hermione)

Champagne Problems (Draco x Astoria, Part 2 of 6)

Era Three (Red/Lover)

The Moment I Knew (Ron x Hermione)

You Need to Calm Down (Draco x Harry)

Sad Beautiful Tragic (Draco x Astoria)

Nothing New (ft. Phoebe Bridgers) (Ron x Hermione)

All of the Girls You Loved Before (Sirius x Remus)

State of Grace (James x Lily)

Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince Draco x Astoria, Part 3 of 6)

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together (Harry x Tom Riddle)

The Last Time (ft. Gary Lightbody) (Ron x Hermione)

All Too Well (Ron x Hermione)

The Archer (Pandora Lovegood x Lily Evans)

Babe (Ron x Hermione)

Run (ft. Ed Sheeran) (Narcissa x Lily)

Cornelia Street (Percy Weasley x Oliver Wood)

Everything Has Changed (ft. Ed Sheeran) (Sirius x Remus)

The Very First Night (Ron x Hermione)

Girl at Home (Alecto Carrow x Narcissa Black)

Forever Winter (Draco x Astoria)

Afterglow (Ron x Hermione)

Holy Ground (Romione)

Stay Stay Stay (Blaise Zabini x Daphne Greengrass)

False God (Bellatrix x Voldemort)

Era Four (Fearless/Reputation)

Come in With the Rain (Ginny & Hermione)

Look What You Made Me Do (Ron x Hermione)

That's When (ft. Keith Urban) (James x Lily)

Fifteen (James x Lily)

Tell Me Why (Harry x Charlie Weasley)

The Best Day (Percy x Oliver Wood)

Call It What You Want (Ron x Hermione)

You Belong With Me (Ron x Hermione)

Untouchable (Narcissa x Lily)

Change (Ron x Hermione)

Superstar (Draco x Hermione)

Forever and Always (Piano Version) (Draco x Astoria)

King of My Heart (Ron x Hermione)

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things (James x Lily)

Fearless (Ron x Hermione)

The Way I Loved You (James x Lily)

Gorgeous (Ron x Hermione)

Bye Bye Baby (Ron x Hermione)

White Horse (James x Lily)

…Ready for It? (Blaise Zabini x Daphne Greengrass)

Don’t You (Ron x Hermione)

I Did Something Bad (Draco x Astoria, Part 4 of 6)

The Other Side of the Door (Sirius x Remus)

Era Five (Speak Now/Folklore)

Haunted (Bellatrix x Lily)

Enchanted (Ron x Hermione)

Innocent (Draco & Narcissa Malfoy)

Back to December (Ron x Hermione)

The 1 (Ron x Hermione)

Exile (ft Bon Iver) (Ron x Hermione)

Mad Woman (Draco x Harry)

Invisible String (Sirius x Remus)

Cardigan (Ron x Hermione)

Epiphany (Padma Patil x Theodore Nott)

Mirrorball (Draco x Harry)

Mine (Harry/Fred/George)

Mean (Ron x Hermione)

This Is Me Trying (Marcus Flint x Percy Weasley)

Timeless (Ron x Hermione)

My Tears Ricochet (Ron x Hermione)

Seven (Sirius x Remus)

I Can See You (Sirius x Remus)

Foolish One (Angelina Johnson x George Weasley)

#cruel summer fic fest #cruel summer fic fest 2023 #cruel summer fic fest: the eras tour #cruel summer fic fest 2023: the eras tour #harry potter fic fest #taylor swift fic fest #taylor swift x hp #harry potter fic masterlist #authors we're so proud of you #you went above and beyond #and we're just. grinning.#(also if we omitted your work in here—let us know! we tried to comb through everything but there's always the chance we missed something!)#microfics + mods' pieces will be included in a reblog because #if y'all would believe it #you gave us so many stories that tumblr decided to quit on our og post #so...more incoming #xoxo your mods

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anordinarymuse · 3 years ago

Note

maybe Remus cheating on the reader and reader catches him and he begs for her to take him back 🤷‍♀️

(I live for the angst)

begged.

Remus Lupin x Fem!Reader

Summary : request

Warnings : cheating; angst; swearing; unedited.

Word Count : 1226

A/N : i’m actually quite proud of this

navigation.

request here.

1yr celebration.

“Don’t go down there!” Peter exclaims, grabbing your wrist and pulling you away. You stare at him confused, Peter slowly lets go of his grasp, his face red from some realization.

“What?” You ask, confused, as you were about to go to their dorm to find Remus. You’d been looking for him all morning, and you couldn’t find him. You’d already checked the dorm earlier this morning, but you figured you’d just check again, just incase.

“I- uh- don’t- nevermind. . .” Peter stammers, taking a step back away from you.

“Uhm, ok?”

You turn around slowly and walk towards the dorm, trying to shake off this unnerving feeling Peter just started making you feel.

“Wait, Y/N,” Peter calls after you fr down the hall, a worried look plastered of his face, god this kid couldn’t hide anything. “We told him not to, I swear.”

The longer Peter was in your presence the more anxious you felt, something was wrong, something was very wrong.

“What-?” You called back, but when you don’t hear anything back you look over your shoulder, and Peter is gone.

Cursing silently at Peter’s sudden burst, you self consciously continue towards the dorm. Your fingers drift towards the door handle, hitching at the last second, second guessing yourself before pushing it down.

The door swings open and you freeze when you see Remus in bed making out with Emmeline Vance. You stand there staring in utter shock, and for a second they don’t even realize you’re there. Remus’ hand holds Emmeline’s jaw the way he held yours last night.

Even worse, when Remus looks to his side, just before noticing you, you catch the way he looks at Emmeline. The way he looked at you.

Remus instantly jumps up from his bed in alarm, struggling to find words to fill up space. Emmeline then turns, eyes widening as she stares at you.

“Y/N- I swear it didn’t- it doesn’t mean anything-“ Remus stumbles on his weak excuse, trying to walk closer to you, but you take a step back.

“How could you do this?” You ask hoarsely, specific to neither Remus or Emmeline. All the things you want to scream haunt your throat, but that question is the only thing that fought through the fog.

“Y/L/N-“ Emmeline starts, her voice trembles slightly, and she gets up from Remus’ bed standing behind him, like he was going to protect her.

“Get out,“ Remus mutters under his breath, picking Emmeline’s book bag up from the floor and throwing it at her. Remus slams the door behind her, it shuts so fast it almost hits Emmeline’s back as she makes her escapade.

When Remus turns to face you, you can no longer read his expression. Earlier it seemed like he feigned apologetic, but now- but now as he towered above you, he looked angry.

“Why do you look so mad?” You ask, impatient, feeling the tension rise as you narrow your eyes at him. “You’re the one who just fucking cheated on me.”

“I said it didn’t mean anything,” Remus replies hotly.

“Why did you do it then Remus? Am I not good enough for you?” Your voice rises as you speak, your greatest fear revolving Remus revealed, leaving you defenseless. “What about me isn’t good enough for you?!”

“I don’t- FUCK, OK? I DON’T FUCKING KNOW!” Remus shouts, causing you to jump.

“DONT SCREAM AT ME!”

“YOURE THE ONE BARGING IN SCREAMING AT ME!”

“BARGING IN?!” You shout, getting a headache from Remus’ obliviousness. “You were cheating on me.”

“I said it didn’t fucking mean anything, Y/N. Why can’t you get that in your goddamn head?” Remus seethes, his words a lethal knife to your crumbling heart.

“It didn’t mean anything? If it didn’t mean anything then why did you do it?” You ask desperately, searching for answers in places that refused to reveal themselves. “Fuck- and the way you looked at her Remus, that’s not nothing. I would know because you used to look at me like that and- to me that meant everything.”

“Can you just stop, Y/N? The full moon is this weekend and you’re being too much,” Remus grumbles, as if your reaction was overdramatic. You blink back tears at Remus’ stubbornness, how could he not understand?

“No, you don’t get to blame this on being a lycanthrope, Remus! That’s not fair! That’s not fair!”

“That’s not what I said,” Remus snaps, eyes flickering up to meet yours at a dangerous speed at the mention of his lycanthrope.

“That’s what you meant, though, isn’t it? I can take a fucking hint.”

“Can you just calm down, Y/N? I’ll- fuck- I’ll make it up to you, ok?” Remus offers bitterly, almost provokingly. “What do you want? Name it and I’ll do it.”

The intention behind his proposal made you realize how lowly Remus thought of you. Were you this easy to win back? Did he think after what he’d just done this was good enough?

“Fuck you, Remus, fuck you, it’s done- I just- everything- it’s all fucked,” you say, speaking your thoughts aloud. Your words just as frantic and how you felt. You didn’t want materialistic compromises, what you wanted was an apology, but you knew you deserved better than to have to ask for one.

You didn’t want to fight anymore, you just wanted to leave and cry or scream or throw something. Holding back tears of betrayal, you turn to leave, biting back your words afraid to spiral and turn into an emotional mess. Remus was the last person whom you wanted to show weakness.

“Where are you going?” Remus asks, his tone filled with disbelief as your hand reaches out for the door handle.

“Leaving, I need- I need air- I can’t be here with you right now-”

“Listen to me, ok?” Remus grabs your shoulder roughly, spinning you around to face him. “Don’t go, I’ll be different. I’ll change, Y/N, I swear.”

He sounded so serious, and you wanted to believe him so bad, but as you stared into the glassy glaze of his eyes, the truth behind them was lost.

“Change? Remus, you’ve already changed. I dont- I don’t even think I know you anymore-“

“Please, Y/N. You’re not actually going to leave me like this are you? Who do you have other than me? Who do we have other than each other?” His voice has a persuading tenderness that drives guilt into your heart. You missed what he mentioned, the past, when things were the way they were meant to be.

“Remus, stop-“ you swallow, he was messing with your head, offering you with the most tempting reasons to stay.

“Stay, I’ll make it up to you. We can do that outing thing you wanted. I can be better, I’ll try and be better, you know me, Y/N, you believe me right? You believe I’d do it for you.” It was a desperate plea, a convincing offer, but you couldn’t help but wonder, was he begging you to stay or refusing to watch you leave on your own account?

“I believed you wouldn’t cheat on me, Remus, but you did. How can you ask of all this of me? Don’t you-“ your breath hitched as you spoke, a sense of realization that now, now it was really over. “Don’t you understand what you’ve done?”

**********

taglist : @marimorena06 @missryerye @agirlwholovescoffee @nicole198205 @siriuspvdfoot @hufflepuffflowers-blog @thatguppienamedbae @peachykeen3502 @youngblood199456 @oranee @bobbyjohnsonbeat @jasgreen101 @will-to-live-who @bellatrixscurls @krishavania @thegirlwhocriedlupin @mrsaliciamalfoy @wwweasleystan @modernvellichor @westantheweasleys @lolaperezb @zaraskyla @sirisuorionblack @rinbyo @xdancinggurlx @lupinsravenclaw @hogwarts-boys @inglourious-imagines @siriuslyslyslytherin @the-abyss-gazed-back @eunoia-kth @kaqua @rudypankowisdaddy @story-scribbler @youreso-golden @natural-ikagai @auggie2000 @peter-parkers-cullen-nerd @dontjudgemyobsessionpls @andrewgarfieldsloml @666cookies @i-love-scott-mccall @o-rion-sta-r

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starstruckmoony · 5 months ago

Text

so high school.

masterlist

pairing - james potter x reader

summary - that one cute nerdy guy from your lectures gives you a follow and you end up actually falling for him.

trope/tags - modern!au, uni/college!au, instagram/social media!au, fluff, terrible humor

word count - 578

warnings - language, drinking, smoking

part 1 / part 2

yourusername

❤ liked by prongsypotter, bartyyy, ev.rosier and 166 others

yourusername vogue

tagged vance_emm

8 comments

bartyyy screaming without the s

ev.rosier y'all are so hot ugh

marymacdonald MY GIRLFRIEND MY GIRLFRIEND MY GIRLFRIEND

casmeadowes i fucking love women

r.a.black first post of yours that ate

yourusername you're like soooo nice, thank you!

pandoras_box i'm SWOONING

xeno_lovegood covergirls

yourusername

❤ liked by r.a.black, pandorasbox, ev.rosier and 133 others

yourusername spider girl?

10 comments

r.a.black fucking mutant

yourusername aren't you just a little bundle of joy!

bartyyy that's what your mum said when she birthed you

starmanblack someone had to say it.

r.a.black okay glass older child 🙄

prongsyboy she's just like me fr

yourusername you get it

xeno_lovegood she DEVOURED that

vance_emm god wish i was the ground she walked on

marymacdonald my second wife actually

prongsyboy

❤ liked by yourusername, vance_emm, pandorasbox and 132 others

prongsyboy gloden hour

11 comments

yourusername gloden

prongsyboy DUCK

yourusername HAHAHA

mmmckinnon ARE THOSE FUCKING CROCS

pete__ fuckin elite is what they are 💯💯💯

starmanblack so hot

starmanblack pop off queen

starmanblack UGH MARRY ME

rjlupin mf what

marymacdonald he's so cute chat

prongsyboy hehe

prongsyboy

❤ liked by yourusername, casmeadowes, rjlupin and 144 others

prongsyboy girl dinner

11 comments

yourusername what three hours of linguistics does to you

prongsyboy i fucken forgor how to english omfg

yourusername stroke?

prongsyboy i'm discovering a new colour

yourusername lana coded

prongsyboy oh that's hot fhshdjwhd

yourusername 😏

starmanblack bf material

starmanblack tell them king

starmanblack smash

reg_black what is it doing?

pete__ IT HELP ME

yourusername added to their story

‼️ prongsyboy liked your story

yourusername

❤ liked by pete__, marymacdonald, starmanblack and 140 others

yourusername girlhood

tagged lily_evans

10 comments

prongsyboy are you making those for me?

yourusername no

lily_evans no

prongsyboy whatever have i done to you

prongsyboy the height difference 😭

yourusername average booktok novel am i right

bartyyy not them actually turning out fine

yourusername that was backhanded af

marymacdonald GIRLHOOD I REPEAT

vance_emm that's so cute i love it when women

prongsyboy

❤ liked by vance_emm, pandorasbox, mmmckinnon and 139 others

prongsyboy spider boy?

13 comments

yourusername this might be spiderman

prongsyboy noooooo

yourusername can you teach me how to shoot webs

prongsyboy yesssssss

starmanblack ATE

starmanblack CARRIED

starmanblack that fucks cause i bought it

prongsyboy i know right

marymacdonald he's so spidey

rjlupin you look like you're about to ask me if i've got games on my phone

prongsyboy but have you got games on your phone?

rjlupin does the calculator count?

prongsypotter no it calculates

yourusername

❤ liked by pete__, marymacdonald, starmanblack and 147 others

yourusername the fuck

tagged prongsyboy

14 comments

prongsyboy me

yourusername you

mmmckinnon that's a cute pussy

yourusername which one?

prongsyboy BRUH

rjlupin caption ate

prongsyboy YOUR MUM HAHA

vance_emm why did you let him inside your home?

prongsyboy because he's so cool and hot and kind and funny and mmmm need that

yourusername yes

starmanblack HAHA SO CUTE

prongsyboy i love you too mate

prongsyboy

❤ liked by mmmckinnon, casmeadowes, yourusername and 169 others

prongsyboy this gonna become a cat account fr

tagged yourusername

10 comments

yourusername that's so swiftie of you ewh

prongsyboy karma is a cat!!!!!!

yourusername fly high

prongsyboy LIKE TAYLORHDFSJSJH

pete__ what's her name?

prongsyboy it's a man...

mmmckinnon why he kinda look like remus

starmanblack JESUS FUCK YES HE DOES

prongsyboy because he's angy and eepy

mmmckinnon i just blocked you btw

prongsyboy added to their story

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bunbunbl0gs · 10 months ago

Text

marlene McKinnon 🚬🍒❤️

masterlist

harry potter masterlist

Tag list : @cham9ions

@rosieandthethorns

join my tag list here :)

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bwbatta · 4 years ago

Text

The one where your secret gets harder to keep (2)

Abstract: Y/N and Sirius have been friends since they first met on the Hogwarts Express, so when they do get together, they decide not to tell their friends straight away. (Friends AU)

Pairing: Sirius Black x Lupin!Reader

Warnings: Swearing

Word Count: 4.1K

A/N: Are we all ready for part two?! I won’t lie, I can’t believe how quickly I wrote this.

Sirius had barely made himself his morning cup of tea before the fireplace flushed with green flames and his best mate walked out into his lounge.

“Prongs, what do I owe the pleasure of your visit at... 10am?! You couldn’t have come a bit later, mate?”

“I thought this was later.” James shrugged, taking a seat on the sofa. Sirius poured another mug of tea, handing it to James as he took the armchair opposite. “It’s about your recent greeting method.”

“My greeting method?”

“Yeah, you and all your... kissing. Stop it.”

Sirius couldn’t help the bubble of laughter which escaped his mouth. Obviously he hadn’t planned on kissing Lily and Marlene, but just the fact James was so wound up about it made the wizard grin.

“My kissing?”

“Pads-”

“No, Prongs, please go on, what about my kissing.” Sirius relaxed back into the armchair taking a sip of his tea. “Are you... jealous?”

“Padfoot-”

“Because if you don’t want me to leave you out of all my kissing, then all you have to do is ask.”

“Sirius I don’t want you bloody kissing me! Or Lily for that matter.”

The laughter which escaped Sirius was loud enough for Remus to exit his own room to investigate what had the man so amused.

“Prongs? What’s going on?”

“Prongsie is jealous I’m not kissing him,” Sirius snickered which caused James to throw a cushion at his face.

“Fuck off Pads.” James rolled his eyes. “I just want you to stop kissing my wife.”

“It was one kiss Prongs, I was trying something out.” Sirius chuckled. “But note taken, I’ll stop kissing Lily.”

“And Y/N too if you don’t mind.” Remus said taking the seat next to James. “I don’t like seeing you make out with my sister.”

“So I can kiss, Mar?” Sirius grinned as both men shot him an unamused look. “Alright fine, no more kissing the girls in front of you.”

Lily and Marlene anyway, Sirius thought to himself.

The fireplace flashed again with green flames and Peter stepped out into the room.

“Wormy, where’ve you been?!” James grinned in greeting as Peter took the other armchair after declining a cup of tea from Remus.

“Some Order mission Dumbledore sent me and the Prewett twins on. Apparently we’re going to recap it at the meeting today.”

“Anything interesting happen?” Remus asked.

“Nothing much, something odd but the twins know more about it than I do.”

The four boys continued their little catch up, including Sirius telling Peter about how James was jealous he’s kissed his wife and not him, which earned him another cushion to the face.

Before long, the small group had finished their tea and were exiting the flat through the fireplace as they appeared in the Order headquarters. The headquarters were set up at the witch, Emmeline Vance’s home.

Seeing the girls already present, the foursome of boys made their way over towards their friends and took their seats. Sirius took the seat next to you and through his arm around the back of your chair.

“You alright?” You asked him.

“Prongs appeared this morning demanding I stop kissing you girls. Remus agreed of course.” Sirius whispered to you which caused you to grin.

“Oh yeah?! What did you say to that?!”

“I said I’d stop kissing the girls in front of them, I never said anything about behind their backs.”

You snorted quietly at his reply as Dumbledore walked in, greeting everyone present. Most of the Order were there apart from the select few who were still on missions.

The room quietened drastically as everyone waited for Dumbledore to speak.

“Welcome back, I thought it would be about the right time to check in with everyone.” Dumbledore began before turning his attention to the twins and Peter. “Mr Prewetts’ and Mr Pettigrew, how was the search up at Little Hangleton?”

“There was not much magical energy around the town, Professor, but there was definitely some.” Fabian began before Gideon took over.

“The house which you told us to look for was still being kept though. Someone pays for a caretaker of the property.”

Dumbledore looked thoughtful for a moment as he assessed the information.

“Had anyone seen anything odd? Anyone seen lurking around recently which could be connected to Riddle?”

“No, any that did may have been obliviated though.” Peter answered as the Prewett twins nodded in agreement.

Gideon Prewett caught your eye for a moment before both of you looked away from each other. The two of you had dated throughout school for a while despite your differing years. Gideon had been a year ahead of you at Hogwarts, but both being in Gryffindor gave opportunity to run into each other more than once.

As your eyes directed away from Gideon, they landed on a newcomer to the Order. You couldn’t deny the man was attractive, his dark hair and dark skin looking almost flawless.

A nudge came from beside you as Marlene grinned at you.

“His name’s Gerard Warbeck.” She whispered to you. “He’s supposedly related to the singer, Celestina Warbeck, you know?”

“Really? How old is he?”

“A few years older than us, I think he was in Ravenclaw.”

You didn’t say anything else but quickly averted your eyes as his attention flicked to you. Not wanting to look back at him if he was still staring at you, you kept your eyes firmly on Dumbledore who had began talking again.

Sirius watched as the man across from where you sat, trailed his eyes over you with a slight smile after he caught you staring at him. As his eyes moved to Sirius, he was met with a strong stare as Sirius glared him down.

He didn’t know what it was about the man, but Sirius didn’t like him. Something felt off and Sirius swore to himself it had absolutely nothing to do with the way he was admiring you just moments previously.

Between the two of you, you managed to make it though another month without any more slip ups. Guaranteed there were some close calls but your secret remained as such; a secret.

With Dumbledore sending more and more of you out on Order missions, it gave both Sirius and you the chance to have your flats to yourself if Marlene or Remus were called out.

The current order mission which you were now sat through was coming to an end as you sat with Marlene, Sirius and Lily.

“Hey,” the blonde whispered from beside you, “I’ve got a surprise for you after this, you’re going to be so proud of me.”

“I’m almost scared to ask what it is.”

“I got us a double date with your admirer and his friend.” Marlene grinned. “They wanna take us out Saturday night. What do you say?!”

“Um...” Your eyes flicked to the side casually where Sirius sat next to you, whispering to Lily on his other side. “I don’t think so.”

“What?” Marlene whispered back, a thoroughly confused expression on her face. “Why not? He’s been eye-flirting with you for weeks! Give me one good reason why you don’t want to go.”

You were suddenly very aware of Sirius’ arm around the back of your chair.

Presented with the situation months ago before Lily and James’ wedding, you would’ve jumped at the opportunity, yet you couldn’t help but feel happy with what you had with Sirius at the moment.

“I don’t know, I just don’t feel like it.”

“Well stop it, you’re coming with me to talk to him after the meetings finished, which looks like it’ll be soon. Moody always begins his ‘constant vigilance’ speech just before we wrap up.”

True to her word, the meeting ended soon after and before you knew what was happening, your roommate had grabbed your arm and yanked you across the room to face Gerard.

Throwing a panicked look behind you to Sirius and Lily, the former couldn’t help but feel uneasy as you approached your admirer.

“Hey, Gerard,” Marlene greeted him, “I thought I’d actually introduce you to your date for this Saturday?!”

“I was beginning to wonder if we would every actually talk,” he grinned at you. “I’m Gerard, but I’m now realising Marlene would’ve already told you that.”

“She maybe mentioned it.” You chuckled slightly. “I’m Y/N, though I think she’s already introduced me before I even met you.”

“That she did.”

Across the room, Sirius was scowling at the man who was currently talking to you. He didn’t like the way he was looking at you.

“Hey, who’s Y/N and Mar talking to?” He asked Lily.

“Oh, that’s Gerard Warbeck, apparently he’s taking out Y/N and Mar on a double date this weekend.”

“So, they’re going on a date with the guy?”

“Not both of them,” Lily laughed whist grabbing her jacket from the back of her seat, “Mar set up Y/N with him whilst he set Mar up with his mate.”

Lily and Sirius dropped the subject as Marlene and you arrived back to join them, Marlene looking a lot more excited than you did.

“Ready to go?” The blonde asked the small group, before Lily and her moved towards the door. Yet, Sirius and you didn’t budge.

“Hey, is Remus back from his mission with James yet?” You asked.

“Not yet, they’re due back tomorrow.”

“Think we could head over to yours for a bit? I think there’s something you should know.”

Sirius couldn’t help but scoff and roll his eyes at you slightly.

“Oh, is this about you, dating Warbeck?” Sirius asked grabbing his own jacket from the chair. “Because Lily already mentioned that and I’m absolutely fine with you going out with him. I mean, you and I, we’re just messing around, we’re nothing so.”

Sirius began to head towards the door before stopping when he realised you weren’t following him.

“I mean, I was going to tell you I was going to get out of it and reject him when Mar wasn’t around, but hey, if we’re just messing around, maybe I will go out with him.”

“Maybe you should.” Sirius shrugged as you pinned him with a look before your gaze shifted to the very man you were talking about.

“Hey, thought I could walk you out?” Gerard asked as he shot you a smile. Turning to Sirius, he held out a hand. “Hey, I’m Gerard.”

“Sirius.” Sirius hesitated for a split second before he moved to shake Gerard’s hand. He made sure to grip his hand tightly through the handshake, enough for Gerard to wince slightly before laughing it off.

“Strong grip you’ve got. Yeah I remember you from Hogwarts, you turned the teacher’s table into jelly that one time.”

“Yeah, that was one of our better ones.” Sirius nodded with a forced grin before turning to you. “I’ll catch you later.”

Without so much as another word, he turned and walked out the room leaving the two of you behind.

After Gerard had walked you out, he wished you goodbye before apparating away. Noticing all of your friends had already gone, you quickly did the same by apparating to the front door to your flat.

What you hadn’t expected however, was for Sirius to be leant against the wall outside.

“What are you doing here?”

“Are you really going to go out with him?”

You took a moment to study him before reaching into your jacket pocket to find your key.

“Well you and I are just messing around so I thought, why not mess around with him?”

Despite having your key out, you didn’t make a move to unlock your door or let yourself in. Partly because you were sure Marlene was already back and partly because you were interested in what Sirius had to say.

Running a hand through his hair, Sirius opened his mouth a few times to say something before stopping himself. Finally he had decided on something and stepped forward from the wall towards you.

“I mean, I don’t know if you’ve looked up the term ‘messing around’ in the dictionary lately but the definition is two friends, who care a lot about each other.” He shrugged one shoulder, taking another step closer to you as he rested his hands on your waist. “Who have amazing sex, and just want to spend more time together yanno?”

“Oh, really now?”

“Yep. But if you’ve got this new definition where it’s not that, I think that we should just stick with a definition we both know.” You couldn’t help the snort of laughter as Sirius wrapped his arms further around your waist, pulling you closer to him. “...Are we okay?”

“I guess so.” You smiled at him as one of his hands moved from your waist to cup your face.

“I just, I like what we’ve got going.” Sirius shrugged, “I wouldn’t want to lose that with you.”

“I like what we’ve got too.” You smiled, pulling him in for a kiss. “So... your place?”

Sirius never apparated the two of you away quicker.

You were laid out on your bed wearing the skimpiest underwear you owned as you waited for Sirius to floo in.

Marlene was due to be out visiting her family again which gave you both the perfect opportunity to use the flat whilst she wasn’t there. However, as your bedroom door opened with a slight knock, the person who walked in wasn’t Sirius by any means, but your blonde roommate.

With a shriek, Marlene covered her eyes as she quickly exited your room out into the living room.

“Y/N!” You quickly grabbed your dressing robe and wrapped it round you, following after her with a sheepish expression on your face. “What the hell!”

“I’m sorry! I was... taking a nap!”

“Since when do you take naps in that position!” Marlene stared at you for a moment before something clicked and she suddenly gasped. “Oh Merlin, please tell me you were waiting for a guy!”

“Yes. Yes!” You replied quickly, trying to think up something to tell the girl. “I’m seeing a guy!”

“Wait, I thought you turned down Gerard? Is it someone different?!” Marlene questioned.

“Yep, someone different! Completely different. Someone I met out.”

“Ohhh is he the cute one that works at the Ministry that we constantly bump into?!”

“Yep! Thats him!”

The blonde’s face suddenly lit up as she grinned at you widely.

“Oh Merlin, right, let me get out of your hair then! I’ll just grab my jacket real quick so you can get down to business!” Quickly heading to her room, she grabbed the closest jacket and started to head towards the fireplace. “But, when I get back, I want every detail and I mean every detail. Merlin knows my love life is as dry as Peter’s hair.”

The fireplace flushed with green light and as Marlene turned to send you a promiscuous look, which dropped as soon as she turned round to see Remus and James entering.

“Oh, it’s you, what are you guys doing here?”

“Lily sent us to pick up something from you girls. She said she left it in a box and you’d know what it was.” Remus shrugged as James made his way into your kitchen to grab something from your fridge.

Exchanging a look with Marlene, you both pulled a blank as you tried to remember if Lily had left anything round your flat.

“Do you have any idea as to what it was?” You asked.

“Something big and heavy which is why she sent us.” James grinned, biting into a large slice of cake.

“Are you sure?” Marlene snickered at the looks the two boys sent her.

The fireplace roared again and Sirius stepped out, a bottle of Firewhiskey in one hand and a bottle of whipped cream in the other. He grinned to himself before the expression fell from his face at the sight of the gathering in your living room.

You shot him a sheepish look as you covered yourself more with your robe, now feeling very aware you had not much on underneath it.

“Merlin, what are you doing here?” Marlene asked him, eyeing up the two bottles in his hands. “Running errands for Lily too?”

“Uh... no, I came to see if any of you wanted to drink?” Sirius said holding up the bottle of alcohol.

“And the cream?” Remus asked with a frown.

“Snack.” Sirius shrugged, squirting some of the whipped cream in his mouth.

“So Sirius, have you heard about Y/N’s secret boyfriend?” Lily asked him later that week.

After the incident where Marlene had walked in on you, it was a lot easier to explain certain things such as the hickeys on your neck after you alluded to seeing someone.

Marlene and you had also found out as to why Lily sent the boys to your flat to pick up something which wasn’t there. Apparently the two of them had been attempting to fix certain things around the cottage where Lily and James lived, which had started to drive the redhead mad. She then proceeded to send them on a wild goose chase just to get them out of her house for a while.

Currently, you were sat at Lily and James’ after they had invited the group round for dinner. Remus, James and Marlene were off discussing what ideas would be good for the spare room in their house. The blonde witch was playing the mediator between good and bad ideas much to Lily’s relief. This left you with Lily and Sirius downstairs, now having a conversation you weren’t sure the direction of.

“Uh, yeah, she might’ve mentioned him.” Sirius shrugged leaning back on the sofa, glancing towards you next to him as he took a sip of his alcohol.

“So, when are we going to meet the guy?” She turned the question to you as she got settled in the armchair. “You still haven’t even told me his name!”

“Well he’s really shy. I don’t think he’s up to meeting everyone yet.” You shrugged.

“I mean you don’t want to push him, right?” Sirius butted in with a nod which you mimicked.

“Exactly, you guys are a bit much sometimes.” You chuckled.

“Well I’ll be nice! I want to the meet this guy who’s the ‘best sex she’s ever had’!”

You swore under your breath as Sirius turned towards you with an enormous smirk on his face.

“Really?! The best sex she’d ever had?! That’s what you heard?!” He asked Lily before turning back to you. “You said that?!”

You narrowed your eyes at him, now skeptical at answering his question.

“I might’ve said that.” Sirius did nothing but laugh which you just rolled your eyes at before punching him lightly in the arm. “Why is that funny?”

“Because I’m very happy for him!” Sirius grinned before wrapping an arm around your shoulder. “And you! You lucky dog!”

“You’re the dog.” You scowled.

Sirius’ laughter was loud enough to attract the other three down from upstairs, much to your annoyance. Marlene grinned as she took the other seat on the sofa you and Sirius shared.

“What’s got you laughing so hard?”

That only made Sirius laugh more.

“Can we please change the subject.” You rolled your eyes.

“Alright, alright, kitten, I’ve actually got an Order question for you.” Sirius said as you leaned back into him.

“Go on.”

“If you have to sit through a meeting, does that mean your new secret boyfriend is better in bed than Gideon?”

“Sirius!” Marlene reached over to smack his arm before she turned her attention to you. “...Is he?”

“I think I’m going to respect the privacy of my new secret boyfriend.” You said just as James and Remus sat down on the other sofa.

Gideon was still slightly a sore subject for you. The breakup between you both was messy and despite the fact it happened months ago, you didn’t really want to talk to him or about him. The fact he also worked within the Order was difficult enough.

“Why?!” Sirius questioned with a smirk. “I mean if this guy was me, and it was me who had learned that it was me that was the best you’ve ever had, I’d be going like this.”

Slipping out from his place on the sofa, Sirius jumped onto Lily’s coffee table and proceeded to pull a few dance moves, much to the amusement of Marlene and James. Lily, however had immediately tried to get him off her table, while Remus wasn’t looking too happy about discussing his sister’s sex life. You just rolled your eyes, mildly annoyed at how much he was milking the fact.

After Lily managed to get Sirius down from her coffee table, he settled back into his spot next to you with a grin. You however, didn’t return it.

Later in the evening, you’d volunteered to grab some more wine from the kitchen when Sirius followed you.

“Hey, Remus is due out all day tomorrow so I have the flat all to myself.”

“So?”

“I just thought you’d like to book in some time with the best you’ve ever had.” Sirius grinned at you, taking the couple bottles of wine from you when you shoved them at his chest.

“You know what?” You turned to face him, “I’ll pass.”

“Why?” You at first did nothing but raise your eyebrows, before stepping back and badly mocked some of the dance moves he’d pulled in front of the group not too long ago. Sirius’ grin fell from his face as he took in your expression, realising he may’ve gone too far. “What’s your point?”

“Work it out, Sirius.” You rolled your eyes, grabbing the two bottles of wine from his grasp and walked back out to your group of friends.

You stayed mad at Sirius right through the next day. It was only when Marlene asked if you were annoyed with Sirius, you relented slightly on giving him the cold shoulder.

Not too long after, Dumbledore sent you a patronus to meet at Order headquarters. You didn’t expect to first, see Sirius arrive only moments later, or for the headmaster to give you a mission for only the two of you.

Apparently more magical activity was happening around Little Hangleton and Dumbledore wanted you both to go and scout it out. Quickly side-apparating, you both appeared in the little town and started to head towards the large house on the hill. It wasn’t until you were nearly at the front door before either one of you said anything.

“Okay okay, wait.” Sirius stopped you, reaching out for your arm and grabbing your attention. “Look, maybe I got carried away before, but there’s something you need to know. If I’m the best, it’s only because you made me the best.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, not giving anyway any facial expressions as your stared at him.

“Keep talking.”

“When I’m with you, it’s something else entirely. Anyone else that I’ve been with before you is nothing in comparison, because when we’re together, it’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced before.”

The look you’d pinned him with began to soften which Sirius took as a good sign. Stepping closer, his hands cupped your face.

“Anytime I spend with you, when we’re together intimately or not, means so much to me that I can’t even put into words.”

Slowly you felt your resolve drop and forced out a roll of your eyes, purely just because you didn’t want him to get the impression you gave in too easily.

“...You’re such a sap.”

The two of you shared a grin as your hands raised to lay on his chest, grabbing his familiar leather jacket and tugged him closer.

Whilst the two of you had spent the last few moments making up, you both missed the movement behind you. It was only when Sirius’ eyes grew wide suddenly as he caught sight of the familiar face behind you, he moved to grab his wand, yet he wasn’t quick enough.

A flash of purple collided with your back as the chilling laughter of his cousin cackled through the air. Bellatrix grinned maliciously as her spell hit you, right before Sirius wrapped you in his arms and apparated the both of you away. He didn’t plan on sticking around much longer if Bellatrix was accompanied by anyone else. With you injured, he didn’t stand a good chance at taking them on alone.

Landing roughly in a heap with you still in his arms, he didn’t even register that he’d apparated straight back into your flat where Marlene and Lily were now standing, wands raised until they realised it was you.

Grasping his wand, Sirius quickly hovered it above your body.

“Rennervate.”

You didn’t wake.

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embrassemoi · 4 years ago

Text

Surrounded by the Moon and Stars • 15

Pairings: Sirius Black x Remus Lupin x [F]Reader Content: Language, switches between UK + US slang, head-hopping Author’s notes: None!

Masterlist: Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Chapter 15: Date, Snog, Shag

❉───────•~❉•᯽•❉~•───────❉

That morning when dawn broke, their dorm was already wide awake. Dorcas had fallen ill, sneezing and coughing the entire night which kept everyone up. That morning was worse, they awakened to her vomiting into a bin in the bathroom. Y/N quickly got to her feet and pushed back any strand of hair that may cloud her vision and avoid it from coming into contact with her mouth while running a hand down her back. Dorcas gripped the side of the bin while Lily ran to grab a Healer. What made matters worse was that Dorcas wanted everyone to leave the room, far too embarrassed and didn’t want to get anyone sick, but oddly she let Marlene stay with her until the Healer came to down her in potions.

Lily went off to find Sirius and Y/N didn’t stick around long enough to see him, leaving her to make her way down the stairs, bumping into James and Remus before they shortly engaged her into their lighthearted conversation.

“Wait,” she tried to stifle her laughter, feeling her eyes go wide, “You’re — you’re part Veela?”

“One quarter-Veela. My Grandma was full Veela but you can’t pass the gene down through males so my father didn’t inherit it and neither did I.”

“Prongs?!” Exclaimed Remus. His hands flung out and punched him in the shoulder, causing James to cry out, “I’ve known you for four years and you never once thought to tell me?”

“I’m sorry! It never came up.”

Light laughter danced between Y/N and Remus, warming the wintery atmosphere. His soft green eyes locked onto her, sharing a fleeting glance while he balled his hand into a fist, his thumb sticking out, directing it to James. They burst out into another fit of giggles at their newfound information while James surveyed the both of them; they looked like children up to no good.

“Ooo,” Remus taunts, “Gonna use your Veela powers on me? You’re just so irresistible to look at!” His smile is cocky as his eyes become animated, looking down at James while clasping his hands together. He sighed mockingly, “Dreamy.”

“Oi! Fuck you.”

“Pay me?” He winked.

James choked while Remus flipped him off.

Y/N found herself struggling to even out her breathing. Her voice was strained with amusement. “You can’t pick a fight, can’t you? Your middle name is Fleamont —”

“What’s wrong with that?! That’s my father’s name!” In the background, Remus snorts.

“— And you have Veela blood and you can’t woo Lily?”

James’ face burns with embarrassment while his friend can barely form a coherent sentence. His head is thrown back as his body racks with silent waves of laughter. Then, Remus slapped a hand to his forehead, groaning loudly before slumping down at a table beside Y/N. “Why did you say the L-word in front of him?”

He reached out for his usual cup of coffee, splashing a dash of milk. She watched as he stirred it, the liquid turning from black to a tawny brown. With a couple of teaspoons of sugar, he brought it to his lips and sighed in pure bliss.

“Actually, I’m thinking of asking out that Ravenclaw over there,” James points, taking the bench opposite. Just then, their eyes followed his. He made eye contact with a Ravenclaw who had jet black hair. Her curls were large, delicate and she had silky skin that reminded Y/N of a rich brown topaz. Pretty royal blue flower pins were placed in her hair, keeping strands of it from falling into her face and highlighted her deep blue eyes that seemed almost mystical. A bright, flashy, sweet smile crossed her face as she looked down bashfully and then turned to her gaggle of friends. Leave it to Potter to flatter the ladies. “Her name is Emmeline Vance.”

Remus and Y/N looked at each other, their eyebrows raised. They both briefly recognized her from their study group and she was in her Charms class. Very shy and very smart, that’s what their first impression was of her. James’ eyes darted between them, noticing their shared non-verbal response before an odd look flashes on his face. “What? Look, I’ve asked Lily out two times — she declined each time. I don’t want to harass her if she keeps saying no. Besides, it doesn’t hurt to have some new blood.”

“Well,” Remus clears his throat, “That’s surprisingly mature of you. It was about time.”

James tended to breakdance on thin ice, and that thin ice was Lily. He’d make a fool out of himself or pull antics but now that she thought about it, James never actually asked Lily out during her time at Hogwarts thus far. God was he annoying when it came to her and Y/N felt a sense of relief for everyone; James, Lily, the rest of the marauders — anyone who had to deal with James at any given moment, but most of all, Lily.

She wanted to half-hug him on her behalf.

Just then, a woosh came from the upper windows as hundreds of owls soared in. They fluttered from all over the hall, some even made fancy loops and dives to impress the other owls and students before dropping sodden letters and parcels off to their owners. They shook off the snow from their wings, rapidly melting and sprayed droplets everywhere while the owls began to hoot with each other. Celeste was nowhere to be seen, but that was expected. Either she was making a long road from Ilvermoerny with a letter from Matthew, her mother had yet to respond to her letters, or that she slept soundly in the owlery. She couldn’t blame her, it was a mess outside. However, a familiar owl who delivered the Daily Prophet swooped in, dropping a copy onto James’ plate.

He unfurled the newspaper, eating a green apple (which had a few Slytherins sending him dirty looks) as his eyes scanned over the title before eyeing her and then swiftly back to the paper. His brows were pulled tightly together, lips pursed with worry and suddenly, James’ mouth went dry as the air around him grew thick.

Y/N plucked a few pancakes from a nearby dish onto her own. They were warm and smelt delightful. Slathering on a generous amount of syrup, she cut them into small pieces with a fork, eating them before Remus passed her a bowl of strawberries to her, offering before taking some himself.

They chatted back and forth but there was something about Remus today that seemed off, but she couldn’t quite place it. His eyes shimmered a pretty golden colour, very different from his usual overpowering green hues.

Similar to Toulouse.

By the entrance walking in was Peter, Marlene, Lily and Sirius. Sirius scrunched his nose several times, running a hand through his blond hair at whatever Peter said. A few times, Y/N almost mistaken him for another person. Just then, they made the slightest eye contact which had them both stare, unwanting to break it first. This game had been going on for a couple of days now and a silent way of communicating their shared dislike while effectively avoiding a huge blowout fight. Last time, Sirius won and she was determined to win their stupid, silent game.

Sirius dropped his hand to his side, the light bounced off his silver rings as Marlene pushed him, laughing, which startled Sirius, causing him to look away. She smirked: point earned.

Y/N: 1

Sirius: 1

Peter’s eyes crinkled; he held a stack of parchment while Lily looked over to Snape sitting at the Slytherin table, waving.

It was so painfully obvious that Snape liked Lily in a manner far too friendly for her to just be considered a friend which had Y/N pressing her lips together tightly. His body perked up and he tried to straighten out his hunched-over posture; skin pinking as bright as bubblegum pink while his eyes travelled down to glance at her mouth quickly.

She shivered, ew.

“Morning you beautiful tossers,” Marlene chirped, bringing her hands down harshly on the table. Her nails were painted a cobalt blue that she recognized Dorcas wearing this morning while she held her bin. The impact had fruit bowls, mugs and goblets shook before Remus huffed, picking up his mug to prevent the liquid from spilling out. He looked over to Marlene with a deadpan expression.

“Hiya.”

Marlene swung her bag over her head and onto the table, sitting down on Remus’ side. Sirius went to sit by James, creating a barrier between him and Lily while she reached up and began braiding his hair, pulling it into a low messy bun before grabbing a green hair tie from his wrist. “Thanks, Carrots.”

Lily smacked the side of his head which had Y/N thinking she should have hit him harder.

This caused a ripple effect; Remus perked up and he tapped her on the shoulder cautiously, “I think I found a spell that can reverse the potion on your hair. Do you want me to try?”

Honestly, her ever-changing colourful hair had grown on her over the past couple of months, but the idea of being able to control it again seemed nice. She imagined having to attend something as extreme as a funeral — having to dress in all black but her hair flashing outrageous neon colours like a disco ball.

With a nod he brought his wand out, pointing it to the top of her head. He focused and his eyes fluttered shut for a split moment, channelling all of his magic into one place. But instead of her normal hair colour, it grew in length, volume and size. Currently a light peach colour, it grew and grew, now swallowing her body whole and now covered the table and floor. It soon made its way to drown out Remus. Other students looked over to the scene, amazed and curious while James went pink as Emmelin glanced his way.

Looks like she's stuck with this forever. “Christ — you mind?!”

“My bad, my bad!” Thankfully, unlike James, Remus had a reversal spell at the ready. Everyone laughed once it went back to normal before Sirius snickered, muttering something under his breath. Lily whispered something into his ear using a low warning tone, tugging at his sleeve. However, Sirius wiggled out of her grasp. But rather than his usual cold tone, his voice was lighter and more in a mocking tone rather than its mean typical scoff.

There was a noticeable shift in their interaction that did not go unnoticed. They weren’t as vile to each other and Sirius seemed overall calmer — nicer, even. His voice wasn’t as sharp and she assumed that whatever anger he stored must have subsided greatly over the break.

As they looked at each other, there was this burn within both of their eyes, but instead of it being a threat, it was borderline taunting. His grey eyes weren’t as stormy as before and even a little blue decided to take over more often. The scar on his forehead healed completely along with whatever mark was on his hand. Although, the dark circles under his eyes stayed.

There was almost a sliver of a smirk that made his entire aura seem softer, lighter even.

If he wasn’t such a moody brat, he might be attractive.

“If you’re going to be a dick, at the very least have the courage to say it louder. For one, I love what you did with your hair. How did you get it to stick out of your nose like that?”

“For the love of Merlin. Here we go again…”

“Oh why don’t you —” “The Daily Quarrel,” said Peter listlessly. Y/N and Sirius’ bickering was too loud to hear it and they didn’t top for a while. Soon enough, it became background noise, like someone had left on the T.V for comfort while they worked. James and Lily looked at each other, he shook his head while Lily mirrored similarly. Marlene had her eyebrows raised while Remus looked at the scene amusingly, eating a piece of buttered toast.

“You bloody fucking lunatic —”

“Oh, okay, sure — I’m the crazy one,” she paused before quickly adding on, “At least I don't smell like a wet dog!”

“At least I don’t smell like a wet dog!” Sirius mocks in an awfully high overpitched American accent. “Like you smell any better you poisonous little toadstool!”

Remus sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He looked like he wanted to say something and there was slight annoyance burning in his piercing eyes. “Are you guys done yet —”

“— deep as a puddle.”

“Wow, like that was original.”

“Looky here! It’s the new Einstein.”

“For Godric Gryffindor, himself, will you two please cut it?!” A random Gryffindor interjects as they slammed their hand down on the table. “Me, unlike the pair of you, am tired and I need to focus on studying for the OWLs — not hearing you lot scream at each other! Job prospects, people, job prospects!” “Shut it!” The entire group snapped at them.

“Well you, unlike us, are a bellend — little git. Mind your business.” Sirius hissed. “We’ll have a go at each other if we want to. Maybe you can put your nose somewhere else!

“We have plenty of job prospects, especially these lot —” he points to her, Lily and Remus, “— are in the Slug Club. At the very least if that doesn’t prove to you that even the Professors believe we have plenty of talent and a prosperous future then I don’t know what will. I don’t see how this involves you.”

The outburst had been louder than the volume he used with Y/N, so it made her flinch. A few others seemed a little startled, Peter even slipped sideways off the bench.

The Gryffindor got up and swung his school bag over his shoulder and trudged to another table cursing them under their breaths. The unexpected anger that flared in Sirius so unexpectedly no doubt even defending her slightly, shocked her. How had he gone from making fun of her being in the Slugclub to now praising her for it?

“Wipe that look off your face,” he added.

She rolled her eyes and was about to speak before James slapped the back of Sirius’ head and Marlene threw an apple at Y/N.

“Yes, they were a git, but take their advice and shut the fuck up!”

They huffed out and their fidgeting settled. “Okay,” she grumbled out but stopped the urge to apologize. Out of all people, Sirius Black did not deserve an apology from her. Where was hers? She didn’t get one so why did he? Hadn’t people realized that all she did was keep her mouth shut to not cause problems most of the time? At the very least, she’d caught on that something was going on with Sirius and been doing everything not to curse him out because of it. She’d been going through an extremely hard time too! Granted, she never made it vocal and came late into the group, but still! Moving to a whole new country, to a new school, leaving all her friends behind, the house that she loved, her absent mother who seemed to forget she existed and now facing blood-prejudice — she deserved some sort of applause for not freaking out on people despite Sirius doing so! Where was her shitty apology?

Poor Sirius, aw baby Sirius — Sirius is a good guy! Sirius this, Sirius that — don’t be mean to him, he’s having a hard time and we don’t know why he’s being an asshole! Bullshit.

Peter wiggled around lazily while James set down the newspaper and folded it before shoving it into his bag. “Pass me it?” he asked, reaching over to grab it from James’ bag.

“Wait, Pete —”

His hand came and snatched the paper from his grasp. In bold, black fonts, it said: Death Eater Kills 5 Muggleborns.

“Merlin,” he said out loud, dropping the newsletter down only to have Lily swiftly take it from him. Her eyes widened in horror and she clutched the paper, trembling in a mixture of emotions. Y/N saw a glimpse of the moving pictures and suddenly, she felt her heart hammer against her chest but she couldn’t peel her eyes away; the destruction, the scene of their bodies being sent off in bags…

Peter began, chewing at his lip, “This is crazy. Maybe they ought to be more careful.”

“They? You mean the likes of me?” Lily said sharply. Her body tensed and her hands gripped the wooden table tightly — so tight that her knuckles went white and the girls thought she was about to hex Peter. “Blood-status should mean nothing. At the very least I thought you were smart enough to understand that. Prosecute the Purebloods for letting this happen!”

“Woah, Evans! Of course, I know that” he said, shrinking down submissively. “They ought to —” there was a brief pause “— hammer down on the purist but I meant that as a concern! Just look at them!” Peter ushered his head towards the Slytherins. Y/N turned against the table; several Slytherins were watching them.

As a Muggleborn, she and Lily were among some of the students that had been targetted as the result of the rampant blood-purist attacks since the beginning of their school career. Although, while Ilvermorny and her time in North America were not perfect in any way shape or form — hell, there were laws that prevented you from marrying New-Majs — she had never had to face blood prejudice like this. It was never so direct, so open so… approved, almost.

It was clear, though, the drastic switch and ever since she began spending time with more Puebloods like James, Marlene and Peter and just by association being seen around Sirius, put her into an odd place. Being around that many of them did not help her situation. The purist would grit their teeth, baffled how pure magic like them, stemming from some of the oldest Pureblood wizarding families, could want with them; others snarled but were so quiet that Y/N couldn’t hear. But seeing their entire group together now, aside from the absences of Dorcas and Mary, mixed with various blood-statuses seemed to anger them, deeply.

Her eyes bounced off of them, some were staring at Lily, some at James, some mouthed blood-traitor before gossiping with their friends and a few even looked in her direction before averting their eyes.

Mulciber was there, his eyes hopping from person to person in search of someone in particular. Avery was off talking to another boy that she vaguely knew the name of, Notts. However, she noticed Regulus’ absence. Really, she hadn’t seen him anywhere near the Great Hall since December nor did he ever come back to the library. But, Snape was, but he wasn’t staring at any of the Muggleborns, but directly at Remus. Y/N turned to look back at him, but Remus didn’t seem to notice.

It unnerved her. Creepy as fuck indeed.

“Fuckin’ creeps,” Remus said out loud. James clenched his jaw, hard, as his eyes swept over Y/N and then to Lily.

“Merlin, do I hate Purebloods,” Sirius adds in. Out of all the Purebloods sitting at their table, he seemed the most angered and disgusted.

“Cheers to that,” James adds.

Then, Mary entered the hall, taking a seat next to Marlene. Her gaze hopped around from person to person: they all looked either angry or disappointed. She decided to keep quiet and looked over to the Daily Prophet still in Lily’s grip.

“At least nobody in my family is dating their cousin.” Lily spits out. That caused the thick tension to break within the group.

Peter cuts in, trying to steer the conversation out of dangerous waters. “D’you know what you want to do after Hogwarts? I heard we get to pick out what NEWTs we want to do next year. I think I would be… I’m not sure.”

“Quidditch player,” James blurts out, “Or maybe an Auror.”

“Travel the world,” Marlene says with a grin.

“Same!” Sirius says. “I’d like to get a motorcycle, drive around the world in it.”

“I might work in the Muggle world — move back to Canada or the States. At this rate, I’m not sure I’ll get a magical job here. Not if the war doesn’t die down soon.” Y/N says a bit grimily. Her mind raced, not fully taking in the severity of what happened. Perhaps she should write to her mother about it…

James looks down defeated before addressing the group loud and strong. “Don’t think like that — we’re going to win the war.” “No, she’s right.” Mary corrects, “That’s all we’ll ever be to them. Nothing more than a pathetic Muggleborn. We ought to think carefully about our future.” That quickly shut the entire table up.

There was a strange look on Lily’s face as she looked at James before blinking, and then it was gone.

“What would you be?” Mary tries to continue.

“I’m not sure. I’ve thought about being a Healer though. If I chose a Muggle job, then I would most likely go to med school. My path has basically been carved out for me.”

“If we’re talking about Muggle jobs, I think I would like to be a model or an actress. Something that’ll bring me fame.”

“That’s because you're self-centred,” Lily jokes.

“Well I looked this good, why wouldn’t I show it off?”

Over time, something about Y/N was that both a blessing and a curse was that she was able to pick up on the little things most of the time. She was observant and she liked that, but most of the time it left her spiralling with unanswered questions or overhearing something she really did not need to hear.

She noticed how James truly wasn't lying about branching out as his eyes drifted from Lily and back to the Emmeline, wearing a smoulder.

She noticed how Peter seemed to hate anything that had to do with citrus and how’d he curl in on himself whenever someone jokingly waved a slice of lemon in his face. Especially now as Sirius waved an orange at him.

She noticed how Dorcas and Marlene often wore the same nail polish and noticed the little moments Lily and Sirius shared.

But most of all, she noticed that throughout the whole ordeal of the group imagining their future, not once did Remus speak up. In fact, he looked down at his coffee, now gone cold and noticed the tight grip he had on the handle. It looked like it was about to shatter if he squeezed down any harder. Remus looked small despite his tall and lanky frame, looking beyond troubled as his jaw clenched every other moment.

“You okay?” She asked earnestly.

He looked at her, a bit surprised before nodding his head and looked to the blizzard outside. “Tired, but what’s new?”

She could tell he was lying but didn’t push. Remus typically didn’t speak unless spoken to and seeing him like that made Y/N feel a tinge of sadness. She’s always liked Remus — would even go as far as to say he’s a friend after the whole snowball fiasco with Snape. She contemplated a few ideas of how to distract him for a little while; it was the least she could do.

“What book do you suggest I read?”

This caught his attention. “What?”

“I see you reading all the time and it’d be nice to start reading something other than OWL textbooks.”

Remus nodded, his mood brightened significantly and quickly picked up his bag from the ground and pulled out two books: The Lord of the Rings and a beat-up copy of Frankenstein.

“You like Lord of the Rings?” She asked. He did not seem like the type to enjoy it. She picked up the book and turned it over, her fingers gliding on the sides of the binding.

Remus excitedly shook his head up and down. “Y’know, I bet Gandalf and Dumbledore are related.”

“Oh my god! You’re right!”

“Both are old —” Y/N laughed at that. “— Both have splendid beards and great hats.”

“What if they’re brothers.”

“Or Dumbledore is secretly obsessed with himself and co-wrote it.”

“Anoraks,” Marlene adds.

Remus swiftly moved on to his next mini-rant, “So what do you think about it? Quite polarizing. Tolkien is good at creating such a consistent background — by far one of the better high fantasy novels I’ve read.”

She hums in half agreement, “I agree but at times it can be quite bland but I’ve never read something quite as similar. But I think I like Narina better.”

“Narina? I respect that but creating a world like middle-earth —” he continued to ramble about his book, critiquing it before swiftly moving on to talk about Narina and a few other classics he loved. Y/N was just glad he didn’t look so troubled now and a small smile was brought to her lips.

Meanwhile, Sirius watched the two and felt that same irrational jealousy take over him in a nasty way that made him want to scream. To him, Sirius saw L/N as someone that constantly took away his time with his mates. First, it was James; they always spent time with each other, sat beside each other in class, made jokes, James even asking to invite her to join in some of their pranks; treating her like he does with him! Then, it was Marlene and Lily and he'd caught onto her brief interactions with Regulus. Regulus! Out of all people! That was more than enough to question her morals. But now, she had her eyes set on Remus! Couldn’t she just find her own friends and stop meddling her way into his life?

Not to mention that she was rude, annoying and seemed like she thought she was better than everyone else.

But deep down, rationally, Sirius knew his jealousy was childish, but she felt like the shiny new toy that left Sirius feeling replaced. He would never admit it out loud, but he felt slightly threatened, just a bit as he watched her grow close with his dear friends, just like he did once before.

But then, he snapped back to his rational senses and almost felt bad at the way he’s treated her. From the insults, names, pranks, cutting her off and taking his anger out on her, he almost felt horrible. Almost. He would then think back to what she did to him; from the insults, names, pranks, cutting him off and taking her anger out on him. And then, he remembered why he didn’t feel that bad. But at the same time, could he truly hate someone that made Remus, who sulked and moped around, smile on days leading up to the full moon?

Sirius also had the talent to notice the little things.

He noticed the way she brought Remus into a conversation and encouraged him to talk about something he enjoyed. He noticed how she treated Lily such a rare kindness or how she let James ramble on about Quidditch when nobody else would listen. He’d notice her playful side, her stubborn side and the side that he recognized a little too well; the ‘bury your emotions’ side.

Today, Sirius noticed the way her eyes were slightly lidded with sleep. Her smile turned large and laughed at Remus’ jokes. For a moment, a cursory moment when he felt unguarded, Sirius let himself feel the warmth that radiated from her.

If she wasn’t such an annoying brat (which Sirius grudgingly half-admitted to being the main cause), she might be attractive.

But just like that, he’s in control again and pushed away the thought.

James yet again observed the two strangely like he did earlier. As Remus flicked through the pages of the book searching for a particular passage, she felt him nudge her under the table.

What? She looked at him bewildered and swung her leg back. Footsie with James was definitely something she did not expect that morning.

James shook his head again, wearing a large smirk as his eyes flashed over to Remus and back to her. His eyebrows were raised.

What?

Nothing, he said with a look.

Y/N scrutinized him, turning her head away to watch from her peripheral vision of James repeating his actions with Remus. But instead of nudging him like he’d done to her, James must have kicked him hard since Remus jerked up and was about to scold him before his eyes flashed to her and back.

The bell rang and everyone got up from their seats, ready to start their classes. Lily drifted to her side and Y/N made sure to grab a few snacks she knew Lily would want during their break and made a note to check in on Dorcas during lunch. They headed to Artimacy along with the other marauders and Marlene.

She was already dreading the long day and it was worse that her schedule was jammed.

Once they passed the Charms classroom, all the marauders headed inside before Marlene caught her wrist, whispering lowly into her ear. “I need to talk to you later.”

Without any kind of explanation, Marlene then rushed into Charms. This caused a rush of nerves to burst instantaneously.

“What was that?” Lily queried, her nose in her diary for the upcoming events that day.

“Ugh — nothing? Marls wanted to talk about something, probably Quidditch.”

“Uh-huh,” she muttered absentmindedly before finally closing her book once they reached class and greeted Professor Vector. Vector wore her usual red robes and large pointy hat before droning on and on. Her strict voice kept everyone on their toes, effectively silencing the class, lecturing them without pausing for a second. Lily seemed to be the only person able to keep up with Vector and more than a few times, Y/N’s eyes sneakily trailed to copy down her notes. Not so sneakily, Lily noticed and tutted before giving her a good glance at her neat scrawl. By the end of the class, they were flooded with fifteen inches of parchment and additional reading.

Next was Defence Against the Dark Arts, which today Y/N felt herself listening closer than usual. Her mind bustled with that damned Daily Prophet article. Every perfectly printed word replayed in her mind. She felt uneasy and weary and she didn’t want to be alone in the hallways anymore.

Professor Keys was every bit of a tosser that Remus had said he was. Instead of the harsh lecturing and rambling Vector went on (that at the very least was educational and professional), Keys kept talking about head injuries: hitting your head by accident, rolling off the bed while sleeping, a bat to the head, a Bludger to the head, getting into a crash, magic gone wrong! He’d even gone as far as wearing a biking helmet which caused Y/N and Marlene to giggle while James plastered a small note onto the back of the helmet (while Remus asked a question to distract Keys) that said: hit me!

At some point, he’d even addressed her in front of the entire class.

“Your mother is a Muggle, right? A doctor — Slughorn told me.”

“Yes, wh —” “Keep her close. If you ever have a head injury, you’ll be fine — SAFE! Yes, yes! Safe! That’s what we all strive to be — safe! Especially from head injuries!”

“She’s cardio, not neuro,” she muttered under her breath.

But like always, Keys returned to his lesson that was quite enthralling.

“The Reductor curse is a blasting curse that can blow up solid objects into pieces,” Keys paced impatiently along the length of the classroom. “It is extremely powerful and many skilled wizards use this to get past obstacles. Now, for many, MANY, obvious reasons this spell needs to be exercised with care. You can find yourself wandering the halls only to have the floors turn to fine mist. There, you may hit your head and we all talked about how hitting your head is bad.

“I will say the incantation, but you mustn't say it, not until I give you the go-ahead.

“It’s Re-DUCK-toh — repeat it with me!”

“Re-DUCK-toh!”

“Excellent!” Professor Keys showed the hand movements, swishing his wand into a lopsided V shape while they all copied. Marlene swished her wand around fluidly, Remus watched intently while James fiddled around with his wand.

“Here’s an example — REDUCTO!” A jet of orange light had shot up from the end of Key’s wand and turned his desk into complete ash. His photo frames and trinkets all cluttered to the floor as everyone stared in amazement.

Now, everyone was off to their own devices, attempting to shoot the spell themselves. No student had yet to successfully cast it.

“Remember the wrist movement!” Keys squeaked as he made his rounds around the classroom.

It was difficult. Y/N had only managed to spark an orange ball of light from the top of her wand but nothing more. She channelled all her rage into it, but perhaps it was that very rage that clouded her magic. She was never great at offence spells, rather her talents lying in defensive spells.

On the other hand, James shoved a hand into his pocket, kicking around at the air while Marlene became so impatient that she prodded her wand, only to have it almost snap in half and have fire emit from the tip, burning her hair — Remus had to put it out.

“Crackpot! Key’s lost it! This could get someone killed!” Marlene shouted. The smell of her brunt hair filled their noses as they sniffed in the unpleasant smell. Y/N conjured a small gust of wind and pointed it out the open classroom door, ridding the brunt smell of hair with fresh air before cracking open a window.

“Thanks, love. Now — I have to talk to you.” Marlene swings her arm over her shoulder and ushers Remus over; as expected, James follows. “As we know, Lily’s birthday is on the thirtieth. What should we do? I was thinking of a party.”

“For fuck sakes!” Y/N felt her entire body relax, “You could’ve been less cryptic.”

“It was for dramatic effect.”

“Sure — but it has to be on the smaller side,” Remus says immediately. Y/N nodded her head, agreeing.

“Where would we hold it? If it’s not going to be big, then the common room isn’t an option and our dorm is too small.”

“We have rounds that night before we switch with the seventh years. By the time we’re done, it would be around… ten? Students are usually up by then.”

“And Moony can just abuse his powers and threaten them with detention if they don’t leave.”

“Damn, pots — a bit of an outlaw, aren’t you?” He winks at her, smiling devilishly at the group.

Remus sighs, nose scrunching. “Nope — definitely can’t do that but I can keep Lily distracted long enough so you can decorate the room.”

Marlene’s face lit up like a thousand stars. Her smile radiated and shined brightly as she nodded her head eagerly, blathering on and on about their plan.

“You five are just stalling around!” Keys had come by their group, his head shaking.

“Sorry professor.” They all muttered out.

“Well, let’s see what you can do then.” He said expectantly, “Mr. Lupin, you first.”

Y/N looked over at him. She had yet to see Remus attempt to cast the spell and wondered if she could save him from being scolded by Keys if she’d gone first. It was better to cast a few sparks rather than conjuring nothing.

Keys scuttled away quickly, his wand at the ready to protect the rest of the students. Remus rolled up the sleeves of his robe, scarlet cuffs now showing as he effortlessly flicks his wand and said loudly and perfectly, demonstrating to the entire class, “Reducto!”

A searing ball of light blinded everyone; the blackboard in front of them exploded as the cure hit, disintegrated into pure ash. The smoke particles unfurled into the air and floated around, causing all the students to cough as the cloud of ash clouded their vision momentarily while the torrent of crashing chalk and board eraser clattered to the floor.

Marlene let out a low whistle. From what she could see, a few of the other girls in the class looked up at Remus, a shiny look in their eyes. Some swooned, others whispered to their friends.

Of course Remus Lupin knew the answer.

Years later down the line, Y/N would come back to this moment and remember thinking that Remus Lupin was possibly one of the smartest people she would ever get the pleasure of knowing.

Unbeknownst to her, James had his eye trained on her and Remus’ interactions since they first came back from the break. He watched Moony’s smile when he was around Whiskers and right now, as she looked up to Remus with a dazed look, James couldn’t help but feel himself but smirk at his knowledge.

Whenever he saw them both together, Whisker’s sunny energy contrasted with Remus’ quiet and gloomy self; he was a big fan of their dynamic.

He nudged her side as he looked at her, a smug knowing smile on his lips.

“What?”

He shook his head, nothing.

❉───────•~❉•᯽•❉~•───────❉

January 27, 1976

“Do you really think so?”

She dramatically clutched a hand to her chest in disbelief, “You really think I can survive without you and your Charms lessons?! It’s like you want Flitwick to bury my grave. And do you want to be alone in Astronomy? Without my presence?”

“Hey! I’m doing you a favour. You would be shit outta luck without me,” Remus mocks, albeit it’s playful.

“Well, Grandpa—”

“Grandpa?”

“You knit all the time and you dress like one,” she moved to pass him some chocolate truffles laid out while she bent down to a house-elf and politely requested tea for them, continuing, “Not all of us are geniuses.”

Remus' look is soft and everyone can see it but for Y/N as her back is turned, taking the teacups from the elves, thanking them before passing one to him while grabbing the milk and sugar the elves brought unasked for.

It brought a smile onto his lips as he tried to force it down, pretending to be unphased by her overly grand gestures. Remus found himself liking the attention that Y/N was beginning to show him. He liked how she always seemed to be so attentive and let him rant about his books and music. He liked how kind and funny she was. And now, there was hardly a trace of cautiousness or judgement that came from her, not unlike others who tended to avoid him and even his own chaps from time to time.

Remus rubs his face as he gulps down the warm tea in one go, getting up with his bag.

“Where are you going? There’s still thirty minutes before dinner ends!” Peter questioned.

“I have to set up for the group today. Besides, I have to take care of some prefect duties. I’ll see you two later,” he looks at her and Lily. There was a light step to Remus as he made his way out before James and Lily whipped their heads in her direction, both mirroring a giddy expression.

“Getting matey, you two?” James says with a large smirk.

Y/N frowns slightly at the accusation while her arms crossed around herself. “Fat chance. What are you suggesting?”

“You and Remus have been spending an awful lot of time together,” Lily wiggles her eyebrows suggestively at her.

“Same study group, that's the whole point, is it not?” She says a bit irritably. James had been making innuendos between her and Remus for the past three weeks, and now that Lily started, Y/N knew that it would never stop. “What are you implying?”

“You fancy each other!”

Y/N blink once, twice as her brain processed what they were accusing. Fancy? No! Remus was a friend! “Get your heads out of your asses. What a dumb question.”

“Wasn’t a question but a statement. You two fancy each other or at least Remus fancies you! You should’ve seen the way he looked at you just then!”

“Date! Snog! Shag!”

“I’m not going to fuck him.”

“Who are we fucking?” Mary popped in. Y/N dropped her head and stared at the table in front of her. If one thing Lily and James had in common, it was their need to embarrass and annoy her.

She sighs, about to refuse to answer but letting up. “Evans and Potter reckon that me and Lupin are more than friends.”

Mary’s eyes lit up so bright that they could rival the sun. She clapped her hands a few times in pure excitement. “I knew it!” “What?!”

The table looks at each other. James snorted so loudly that he choked on the pumpkin juice he was drinking and his face went as red as Lily’s hair. Lily looked as if she were about to pass out. Her laughter caused her nostrils to flare and Mary looked around guilty.

“What?!” She repeated, this time louder.

“Haven’t you noticed? We all think you’ve been shagging.”

“That is ridiculous! Will you guys stop with this nonsense of fake love-dovey gazes? So what he looked at me! You're supposed to look at people while you’re talking and boys and girls can be friends!”

“No! You have been spending so much time together and the only other woman Remus is ever around that often is either Lily and we all know they’re just friends —” “Yeah, like me!” “— or the professors! You should see how much you two smile and giggle with each other!”

Y/N groaned frustrated. “Why is everyone so obsessed with my sex life?”

“Because you don’t have one.”

She looked to Lily, her mouth opening as everyone around her laughed.

“I hate you.”

“Hate isn’t going to get you into heaven.”

Lily was impossible.

“You two would look so cute!

“Stop trying to play wingman here, Bambi!”

“Kiss, marry, Avada — James, Remus or Sirius? Go.” She pinched the bridge of her nose. Mary was always wildly inappropriate which usually made her laugh but this time only made Y/N curl in uncomfortability. Mary laughed, unrefined and Peter tried to object, asking why Mary hadn’t used his name.

“You can pick me, darling, I won’t mind. I know you’re obsessed with me.” James says and flicks his pretend long hair behind his back.

She could Avada them all and not feel bad. Groaning, she was not happy with this outcome. “I would murder you first then.”

“Why?!”

“I like Remus more than you at this point.”

“Whiskers! We’ve been friends longer!”

“The week when we came back from the holidays, they were talking about getting married!” Peter blurted out.

“What!?”

Mary cut them off, smiling wickedly, “One sickle that she and Remus are going to snog by the end of the year.”

“Four —” Peter interjected, “I’ve never seen him be so buddy-buddy with another girl that wasn’t Lily or his mother.”

“Guys, this is ridiculous!” Y/N tried to intervene.

Everyone wavered her off, continuing their bets.

Mary chuckled at Lily, “Six sickles.”

“C’mon! I am not going to fuck either boy!”

“You both are going to lose,” James proposed. Y/N’s heart dropped a bit, seeing the temptation in his eyes. James never was the one to bow down from a bet. “What about Sirius?”

Y/N felt the urge to hex him.

“Shut the fuck up, James.”

They all ignored her.

“You are a genius, wee pots!” Marlene jumped to her feet and walked over to sit beside Y/N. “They totally have sexual tension!”

“Right?!”

“Whenever Sirius walks into a room, the first person he likes to seek out is you —”

“That’s not true! What in the Britsh bloody fuck are you on?!”

“Nu-uh,” Potter says, wearing a shit-eating grin as he takes a moment to drink his pumpkin juice. “Kinnon isn’t wrong. Sirius is into you. It makes sense, all that tension and he wanted to ask you on a date when you first came to Hogwarts.”

“He does like the chase,” Lily interjects, “And out of all the years I’ve witnessed Sirius Black and his slag days, nobody has given him a run for his money like this.”

“You guys would look so hot together!” “Are we forgetting about Remus?! They would look better together and they actually like each other. Hell, they’re practically dating at this point!”

James shakes his head, “For a bloke that reads that many books, he’s horrible with words. He’s not going to say anything. Anyway — you should shag Black. I’m telling you, it would most likely solve whatever —” he makes a hand gesture to her, “— this is.”

“Screw it, I got a Galleon that she and Sirius are going to shag or snog before June,” Marlene stated confidently.

James sat up straighter, his chest puffing out in a challenging manner. Marlene flickered her hair off her shoulder and dropped one elbow on the table, placing her chin in one hand.

“Make it two — late May.” James challenged.

“Three Galleons, mid-May.”

“Three Galleons, two Knuts; late April.”

“Three Galleons, four Knuts; mid-April.”

“Four Galleons; March.”

Marlene stuck out her hand, shaking it with his. She turned to Y/N, who sat dumbstruck with her mouth open, absolutely mortified. “I have a lot of money on you, don’t you dare fail me.”

“Get to Remus first! Do you know many women are after him? He's the best boyfriend material out of all the marauders!” Lily shouted.

“Yeah? What about Black?”

“Lost cause! The bloke can’t even choose someone.”

Y/N got up from her seat, pushing up on the table to walk away. She’s had enough. Marlene and James were whooping while Mary was saying some obscene scenarios that she and Remus were going to get up to. People were starting to listen in now.

“Lupin’s a strong one. I’ve seen him lift luggage and parcels as heavy as ten stones the Muggle way, with ease. Imagine if he picked up and pushed you against a wall while —” “MARY SHUT UP!”

“He’s a lovesick git and you too!” Lily teases, “Bet you’ll get cheeky in the library!”

Her face burns with an unbelievable amount of embarrassment. She felt like she could die right there and then.

“What’s got you all so chuffed?” Sirius asks as he sits down at the table. This was the first time he made an appearance at dinner that night.

Just the timing — of course!

“Will you stop with that! I am not lovesick!” She stomped away, almost sprinting away from the group before she heard the faint half-scream coming from Sirius that sounded an awful lot like what the fuck?

Yeah, she could agree with that, what the fuck. Y/N just went through first, second, third and fourth hand embarrassment.

She quickly walked through the corridors and up into the library. Quickly storming up to their usual table, Remus was already there.

Over the past couple of weeks, she and Remus had fallen into this routine of turning from acquaintances to friends, actual friends.

Remus was the very definition of cool. He’s one of the smartest people she knew all the while he skipped classes often and despite that, all the teachers loved him. McGonagall, a hard one to impress, absolutely adored him and it was very obvious. He was also a prefect and he always let the marauders or even her off; had an ear for music, was incredibly strong and she’d always seen him carrying around chocolate that he never shared.

He also had silverly scars littering his entire body and momentarily, she’d sometimes wondered if he was in a gang. Maybe the marauders were a secret gang name? But then she thought rationally; James Potter, in a gang?

He was fiddling around with his knitting needles and he wore glasses, he leaned back in the chair, ankle resting on the other knee. A pile of parchment, journals, books and even a mug sat there. She had never seen him wear glasses before, but he did look quite like a teacher.

“Going for the whole professor look, aren’t you?”

He chuckled, running a hand through his hair. “Where’s Lily?” He said, his accent softly lilt

Her face burned again.

“There’s still about twenty minutes until dinner ends; I think she wanted to finish eating.”

“Well then,” he took off his glasses, “You couldn’t get enough of me then?”

“Piss off.”

During their conversation, Remus made her acutely aware of every part of her: her skin, the way she walked, her appearance, her clothes. It didn’t help that his gaze was always so… intense.

At some point, he got up and talked to a few third years who were having trouble with a certain spell while she watched him. Her tongue darted out to wet her lips while her elbows were propped on the table. Remus came off as quiet and awkward, but he always excluded certain confidence during these sessions. She hadn’t thought about it until now, but the way the dimly glowing lamps highlighted the sharpest points of his face and the way the light bounced off the silver scars, Remus… was well… not shabby looking.

Josh! It’s not like Y/N didn’t have… urges. Most people did but all this talk about her and Remus and then her and Sirius was starting to get to her head!

“Want to try?” He asks as he sits back down in his seat, lifting the ball of yarn and needles in her direction, effectively breaking her out of her trance. Y/N shakes her head, waving a hand dismissively.

“Come on, I know you want to.”

“Fine.”

“Do you know how to?” She shakes her head.

Remus then shifts his body so his hands were on top of hers, guiding her fingers through the loops of yarn over the needle as his prefect voice was activated, muttering softly by her ear.

It might’ve been the middle of winter but she felt like her entire body was on fire. This has to be some kind of cruel joke the universe is playing on her.

He continued to help her until the repetition became second nature and left her to continue to knit.

Her small patch had large gaps and looked lopsided, but she smiled at the creation which caused Remus to as well. “Keep it,” he says with a smile.

“I’m not taking your needles.”

“Seriously. James brought me over thirty new ones on my birthday last year because he didn’t know what size needles he should get. Really, one pair won’t hurt me.”

And then Lily, kind, beautiful, yet annoying, slippery Lily waltzes in confidently, sharing a knowing look as she watches the entire scene play out. From his hands touching hers to him being as generous as giving her his knitting needles.

This did not look good at all.

She nodded but was dazed by Lily. She plonks down beside him and Y/N automatically rips her gaze away, shifting awkwardly in her seat.

The room felt too hot, too incredibly hot and thankfully Remus didn’t seem phased but oh my god — she knew deep down that once Remus got back to his dorm later tonight, James was going to give him the same hell and convince him and probably Sirius (if he hadn’t already done so) that they were soulmates or the ridiculous hopeless romantic shit James loved to spew.

Remus began talking in the background, flipping through his notes while Lily jabs her side.

Lovesick, she mouthed.

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