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nanagoswife · 3 years

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For You? Always.

Chapter Twelve

Summary: A week in to your trip and your birthday has come around. What will this celebration look like?

W/C: 1

<<Previous, Next>>

“Mister perfect is what he is,” Claire had said after you told her about Ben. It caused a laugh from both of you. “I’m so sorry that this is going through your birthday. I would’ve rescheduled but these are the only couple of weeks that I won’t be busy for the next while.”

“Trust me, it’s fine. I didn’t have a plan anyways.”

Claire looked at you doubtfully but didn't say anything. Instead, she looked out over the trees to the lake that was behind her house.

The first week wasn't too bad. Each day was made better with the calls from Ben at night.

Though, the last few nights had been short calls. Ben had told you that he was super busy every day and he had to take his work home those nights. You wondered what was going on.

"Excuse me, ladies?" Derek came out where you and Claire were lounging. Both of you turned to look towards him. "I just wanted to let you know that I'm headed out. I'll meet you two at the restaurant for dinner."

"Alright. See you there," Claire said enthusiastically. Well, more than she normally sounded. You shrugged it off and turned to do some more relaxing. Later, you would get ready for the evening.

- - -

Claire had told you that she would bring you and Derek to her favourite restaurant for your birthday dinner. It excited you as you and Claire had grown quite close over the last week.

A cloud did still hang over it, though. You only wished that Ben could've celebrated it with you.

Tonight, you dressed up a little bit. A soft, royal blue dress that had a long skirt was what you chose. The material brought a comfort to you every time you wore it. Then, you went about doing a few more things to freshen up.

Claire had always been excited whenever she took you and Derek out, but she seemed even more excited than before. You would’ve shaken it off, but Derek seemed more optimistic about it earlier as well. Maybe she decided that she was going to publish at your company and Derek already knew, you mused.

Either way, you were happy that you got along with Claire and you didn’t mind the celebration she wanted to make of it.

As you finished getting ready for the evening, you waited in the living room until she was ready. Then, she drove the two of you to the restaurant.

- - -

Arriving at the restaurant, a few of the staff said hello to Claire when you walked in. It was expected as Claire explained that she came to this restaurant the most.

It was a simple and charming place that was very family friendly. The sight of some of the families enjoying their meals was a warming sight as you walked by to your own table. One young boy waved at you with a big smile. You waved back with your own grin.

After a small walk, you saw Derek waiting at a table already. He greeted the two of you as you neared.

Sitting down, Derek began to speak, “I have been talking with Claire and we decided to get you a bit of a birthday surprise.” You felt very confused and scratched your head.

“You didn’t h-”

Claire interjected, “Turn around.”

Now, you were more confused than ever. Sitting still for a few seconds, you looked at the pair's smirks. Finally, you slowly turned around. Your jaw dropped and you immediately shot out of your chair and ran over in extreme happiness.

Dropping the flowers on the closest table, Ben took you into his arms as you basically jumped on him. He wrapped his arms around you in a tight, warm embrace. In his arms, you felt safe. There was nothing that was threatening you, but the feeling came at just the knowledge that he would never let anything harm you.

As you had pressed your face to his chest, you lifted it away to look into his smiling blue eyes. He was also smiling from ear to ear. Putting your hands on the sides of his face, you pulled him in so that your lips touched his. Your surroundings seemed to vanish in the moment.

Both of you disconnected your lips and rested your foreheads together. Ben’s smile came back onto his face as you looked into his eyes.

“Surprise,” he said in an almost whisper. Reaching over to the table next to you, he searched for the flowers without pulling too far away. Holding the bouquet of dark pink camellias mixed with cherry blossoms next to you he said, “These are for you.”

“I- How did you know what flowers to get?”

“Siara asked Sadie for me. Shall we sit?”

Hesitantly, you pulled away from his embrace, Ben keeping his arm around your back, and walked back to the table. Claire and Derek both were smiling as you and Ben got settled beside each other.

“Nice to see you again, Ben,” Claire said when she made eye contact with him. Eyes widening in shock, you were confused as to how they knew each other. Ben laughed as Claire continued, “My mother and his used to be friends when we were kids before they moved away. Then, we were reunited a few years back when I published my first book.”

“Yeah, so when I found out from Derek that you were at Claire’s, I called and made some arrangements a few days into your trip,” Ben said, Derek and Claire nodding in confirmation. This led to an explanation on the plan.

The phone call Ben had the day before you left, a day Derek came in to talk to Claire alone, the nights he worked late to get ahead for the few days, leading to the shorter calls. It was all a plan to surprise you. Your jaw had dropped at how you were in the dark for all of it. Now Claire’s over excitement made sense.

Ben’s hand distracted you from your moment as he rested it atop of yours, which was on your knee, and gently squeezed it. Meeting his gaze, your heart was warmed. The fondness for the man beside you was far greater than a simple crush.

Getting distracted by the other two, you turned your attention to them. It pained you as you wanted to tell him. Looking at it, though, it wasn’t the right time. Not in front of others yet.

Dinner was spent talking about the time spent during the week, followed by a few stories that Ben and Claire could remember from almost two decades ago. Understandably, there was very little from then that they could recall.

They also recollected the day that they met again. Claire went to the publisher Ben was working at and he heard her name come up in a meeting. When he had done a little more thinking and when he saw where she was from, he figured it out. So, he had asked for a meeting with her which turned to be a reunion.

Claire had laughed as she added that she had forgotten until he had said his last name. “You should’ve seen his reaction when I said I didn’t know him at first. It was priceless.” Ben had laughed as well, getting slightly chagrined.

As he rubbed the back of his neck, you took his free hand into yours and rested them on his leg. He looked over to you and smiled when you gave a small squeeze in an attempt to comfort him. Intertwining his fingers with yours, he leaned forward and kissed your forehead.

You were glad that Claire and Derek had started talking, meaning that their attention wasn’t fully on you two in the moment. Even though you didn’t care, you also hated being in a broad spotlight like that.

The rest of the time at dinner was spent with your hand in his as Derek and Claire carried their conversation until you left. This left you and Ben to sit and listen, but also take in the comfort of being together after being apart for a week. Before this trip, you were almost always together for just over two months, and the time away made you long for his presence.

Once dinner was done, the four of you made your way to Claire's car. You and Ben walked with you arms linked and you leaned a bit closer than usual.

Taking the backseat with Ben, Derek took to the front when you had all gotten into the car to go back to Claire’s. The ride’s conversations were divided, but almost non-existent as the ride back was short.

Claire and Derek said their farewells and happy birthdays not long after walking into the house. You then led Ben upstairs.

“Wow,” he said when walking into the room you were staying in. Giggling, you scanned over the subtle rustic design of the room. “I never thought rustic-ness would astonish me like this,” he continued on after a few moments.

“If you think this is nice, look out the window.” Taking the advice, he looked out at the lake and trees that were illuminated by the intense setting sun. His jaw dropped in wonder, not expecting anything to this extent.

“I have never seen anything like this, not in person anyways.” Once again, you laughed. He looked almost like a small boy discovering something amazing, like candy, for the first time. When he turned to look at you, his dropped jaw turned into a smile that exposed his teeth.

While he gawked at the view, you sat on the bed, “Have you really never stayed anywhere like this before?” Ben shook his head.

“I’ve seen many impressive skylines and cityscapes, but I’m not that type of person. I’d rather see the realness of nature than the man-made buildings,” he said in reply. This only made you admire him more, as you felt the same. Sure, a skyline of buildings is enchanting, but it never beats out nature.

Pulling his gaze away from the window, he turned to you and joined you on the bed.

You made eye contact with him as he got comfortable, “I know it hasn’t really been that long, but I really missed you, Ben.” Smiling, he put his arm around you as you rested against him.

“I did too,” he whispered softly, placing his lips on the top of your head. “I have another little surprise for you,” he said while getting up to go to his bag.

Reaching into the front pocket of his carry-on, he pulled out a box wrapped in light blue gift paper that was topped with a darker blue bow. Walking back over, he extended it towards you.

Taking it, you said playfully, “You know, I do like blue. But you didn’t only have to use blue.”

He laughed, “I know, but I thought it seemed appropriate for the first gift.” Chuckling, you started to carefully unwrap the paper. Even the box that was underneath was blue, but you guessed it wasn’t his choice as it was the brand. Proceeding, you took the top of the box off.

Seeing the silver necklace with some sort of sky-blue jewel on the end made you gasp. The way it shimmered in the light of the room. A smile grew on your face, “Oh, Ben. It’s beautiful.”

“It’s a Swiss blue topaz, the chain is sterling silver. When I saw it, all I could think about was you.”

Tears of happiness threatened to show as you looked at the simple beauty of the topaz. Peeling your eyes from it, you switched to looking at Ben, “Thank you.”

Kneeling in front of you, he took the necklace and gently put it around your neck.

When he slid his hands down to your shoulders, you put one of your own on his. You tilted your head down to look at his glowing smile. "I love you," he whispered.

Moving your hand that was on his, you raised it to pull him in for a kiss. Making sure he didn’t fall, he put a hand on the mattress as he embraced it all.

Hating to break the moment, you mumbled into his lips, “I love you too.”

"What would you like to do?" Ben moved so that he was resting his head on yours.

"I say we should go outside. The sunset is beautiful this evening."

Easing off, he stepped back nodding but not before you heard him mumble, "Not as beautiful as you." Ben offered a hand when you got up, and the two of you made your way out of the room.

Next>>

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letterboxd · 3 years

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Together, Alone.

Together Together writer and director Nikole Beckwith talks to Ella Kemp about platonic love, pragmatic pregnancy, melancholic comedy and being inspired by Magnolia’s rain of frogs.

“The three of us were having our own platonic love affairs while we were making the film, which was very, very cool.” —Nikole Beckwith on working with Ed Helms and Patti Harrison

Back before vaccinations began, when we were still looking for glimmers of hope, the virtual 2021 Sundance Film Festival delivered us an abundance of joy: the family dramedy CODA, Questlove’s extraordinary piece of history, Summer of Soul, the delightful Sesame Street documentary and some precious smaller stories, too. One of those is the low-key revolutionary Together Together, Nikole Beckwith’s “visual representation of a warm hug”.

A platonic love story about surrogacy and solo parenting, Together Together stars Ed Helms as Matt, a single man in his forties who desperately wants to be a father. Interviewing women to carry his baby, he chooses twenty-something Anna, played by Patti Harrison, who completely nails her first feature leading role (she has previously appeared in A Simple Favor and Raya and the Last Dragon).

Over the nine months that follow, the pair boundary-shift as they navigate their unconventional relationship. They’re not together-together, but the bond between them is real, and strong. “Matt and Anna are loners, but they’re comfortable and functional in that space,” Beckwith explains. “And part of their connection is recognizing and respecting that in each other.”

Ed Helms and Patti Harrison in ‘Together Together’.

Flipping the narrative on surrogacy stories, Together Together encourages audiences to think about family in a new way. “Matt is in this strange middle zone,” Beckwith explains. “He’s not part of a community with a ton of children, and he’s not out partying at bars or living the child-free life. So the key to moving out of that space is taking matters into his own hands and redefining his future, and his idea of and desire for parenthood comes from himself—not from wistful fantasies romanticizing the idea of having kids.”

Anna’s story is just as clearly drawn: positive, rational, generous. “The last thing I wanted was to see her looking at children, with her hand on her belly, thinking ‘How am I going to give this up?’,” the filmmaker says. “I think that’s a really dominant way into surrogacy stories, but surrogacy is positive, it’s additive, and Anna knows herself. She knows what she’s capable of.” It’s a rare depiction of pregnancy on screen. “When a woman becomes pregnant, they’re not completely eclipsed by that fact. It doesn’t become their primary identity. So Anna is being very pragmatic about that experience.”

Together Together embraces “alone-ness” in a reassuring way, especially coming after a year in which many of us have experienced solitude involuntarily. Originally from Newburyport, Massachusetts, Beckwith spends a lot of time alone, but is firm that loneliness and solitude are not the same thing. Her story about the ambiguous spaces we inhabit when we don’t have a partner has its roots in real-life relationships.

“We just couldn’t get enough of each other,” Beckwith says of one male friend who changed her life when she moved to New York, far away from the small town she had grown up in. “I was just totally electrified and excited by them, and it was so hard for me to figure out that we were falling in platonic love. I hadn’t realized that was a kind of love you could fall in and just thought, ‘how beautiful’.”

The timelessness of non-romantic relationships is reflected in the film’s wondrous piano score, “a strange, poetic stream of consciousness” composed by Alex Somers, who also scored Captain Fantastic and Honey Boy. It is a hat-tip to Nora Ephron’s films, “those two-hander relationship movies in which the score is largely piano standard,” Beckwith explains. “We didn’t want it to sound old, while still having a whiff of nostalgia, while still feeling new, but in a timeless way instead of an overtly modern way.”

Beckwith looked for inspiration in all the right places. She nods to the dynamic between Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig and Maya Rudolph in Bridesmaids as a depiction of platonic love that set the bar for Together Together. For examples of a middle-aged man who oscillates between being alone and lonely, Bill Murray’s performance in Sofia Coppola’s Lost in Translation led the way. And in terms of the first film to light a fuse in her moviemaking brain, she has Paul Thomas Anderson to thank.

“I had a pretty incredible experience watching Magnolia when it was in theaters,” she remembers of the filmmaker’s 1999 emotional epic. "When the frogs fell from the sky, I was like, ‘So you can do anything?’ And then every time William H. Macy turns on his car radio and Gabrielle’s ‘Dreams’ comes on, for some reason that opened a pocket in my mind which was like, ‘These are decisions that somebody is making.’ And that was the first moment, with those two scenes, that I realized movies are made.

“I hadn’t ever thought of the rubber-to-the-road aspects of movies coming from someone specific. Being from a small town, I’d never seen a movie like that before. Those two moments really kind of made me think about it in a new way—it was very cool.”

Writer-director Nikole Beckwith.

Just as Anderson has brought dramatic nuance out of renowned comic actors (most notably, Adam Sandler in Punch Drunk Love), Together Together also asks us to adjust our expectations of our modern-day comedy heroes. It is packed to the rafters with American indie comedy stars (Tig Notaro, Anna Konkle, Sufe Bradshaw, Julio Torres, Jo Firestone and many more), but plays for laughs only where it feels right. The tone is held throughout by Harrison and Helms, who were, says Beckwith, “grounded and present”.

Leave your memories of Helms as office nerd Andy Bernard at the door, and expect a softer Harrison than the acerbic comedy titan who greets you on Instagram or the TV show Shrill. It was a shot in the dark that such potent chemistry would materialize. “I mean, what is chemistry?” Beckwith says, when asked about the electric feeling her leads emanate. “It’s an elusive magic—you can’t invent it, you can’t count it. It just is or it isn’t, and we were so lucky that it was.”

“They’re both such gifted comedians that there was no doubt in my mind that we could take the things that fuel the stuff we know them for, and just switch it around,” says Beckwith. “I think in order to be a truly terrific comedian you have to be holding hands with all the difficult, melancholy things about being alive, because that’s where comedy comes from and that’s what it relates to—and that’s why it’s so ubiquitous. We need it.”

Related content

Selome’s list of indie pregnancy dramedies that de-center the nuclear family

Melissa’s list of films about daddy issues, single dads/fathers, being a dad/father, grandfathers

Follow Ella on Letterboxd

‘Together Together’ is in limited US theatrical release from April 23, and on VOD from May 11, via Bleecker Street.

#together together #ed helms #patti harrison #directed by women #female director #female film directors #nikole beckwith #nicole beckwith #comedy #pregnancy #surrogacy #surrogate #solo parenting #films about pregnancy #julio torres #jo firestone #tig notaro #comedy film

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gingrrfrog · 4 years

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these nights (9)

word count: 7.9k 😗👉🏼👈🏼

warnings: character death (mentioned), small smut, general angsty-ness

summary: jeno didn’t think about his childhood often. on rare occasion he would reflect, he remembered why he tried to forget in the first place.

If there’s one thing Jeno remembered most from his childhood, it was the way his sister hugged him. He found it annoying once he got older, but the gap in ages led Jeno to enjoy being held by Jieun. She usually smelled like whatever she cooked that day, and once he was older and able to buy her gifts, she smelled like the perfume he bought her.

Jeno used to be afraid of the dark when he was younger, always asking his older sister to leave the light on or to stay with him until he fell asleep. Jieun would recite countless stories for hours sometimes, not realizing that she was invested in her own story until she saw Jeno drooling by her side. By that point, she was tired herself, and she would fall asleep too.

By the time Jeno was nine and his sister was 17, she had met Johnny who was a year and a half older than her. He was jealous initially, the fact that Jieun payed attention to Johnny more than him. It took months to convince Jeno to be his friend too, learning to enjoy the giant’s presence the same as his sister’s. Johnny was a lot like the older brother he never had, not to mention, Johnny was the one who taught Jeno how to shave—a ceremonious rite of passage that Jeno was afraid he would have to learn to do himself.

After their father’s death and their mother’s disappearance, Jeno moved in with his sister and his boyfriend, settling for a very cramped apartment at the time and even more cramped with the sudden pregnancy of his sister. Jeno remembers scrunching his nose at the smell of diapers and the dark bags under his eyes from being woken up by the cries of an infant, but he got used it the older Hyunwoo got and the more he was able to sleep through the night.

Jeno was sixteen when Jaemin offered to move in with him in their home, which was something he thought through very seriously before accepting. Jaemin’s dad was always nice to Jeno, not to mention, their home was more than spacious, Jaemin’s room alone could probably house the both of them comfortably.

He ended up agreeing, what with Jieun’s second pregnancy including twins this time around, Jeno know there would barely be any room from him then.

He saw Jieun less often then, always so busy with her children afterwards and Jeno with school. He’d see her during the holidays, and she would always offer to cook him something before he left, even though she knew that Jaemin’s maids would cook him something if he asked. Most of the time Jeno would stay anyway, taking home left over food to share with Jaemin and later Jisung the older he got.

It was always then, when they were eating Jieun’s food, that he realized how much he had missed living in a cramped apartment with his sister and now brother-in-law. It was simpler then, believe or not, the only thing Jeno had to worry about was whether or not Hyunwoo would sleep through the night in order for Jeno to get his own hours.

But it’s changed as they’ve grown. Jieun and Johnny no longer lived in a cramped apartment the more Johnny worked for Jaehyun and his father. They lived comfortably and Jieun would always be waiting on the couch for him whenever he texted her that he was coming over, patting the spot next to her with a smile, as she would play with either Hyunwoo, Taesoo, or Taewoo.

It was a Friday night, when all the kids were asleep, including their newest, Goeun, that Jeno came over, a bit under the weather and lonely. He sat on Jieun’s couch and watched his sister curl in her husband’s side, yawning as they aimlessly watched a movie while dinner cooked in the background. Johnny’s phone ranged and he got up to answer it, causing Jieun to pout before putting her attention to Jeno, who was staring at the floor.

“You okay?” She had asked him, poking his thigh. “Did you and Jaemin get in a fight recently?”

Jeno smiled but shook his head, “no. I just…feel weird.”

“Are you sick? Are you coming down with something?” She continued her questioning as she placed her hands all over his face to check for a fever. Jeno sighed and removed her hands.

“No, not like that,” Jeno bit his lip before he continued. “Can I ask you something, noona?”

Jieun furrowed her eyebrows but nodded nonetheless, “of course, anything.”

“You and Johnny hyung got married right after you found out you were pregnant. How did you know it was going to work?”

Jieun took her time to answer, looking around pensively before she shrugged, “I didn’t. I kind of just took the chance.”

Jeno scoffed, “you just aimlessly married someone without knowing they were the love of your life?”

“I knew that Johnny was the love of my life the second I saw him, Jeno,” she narrowed her eyes. “But that’s something you say when you’re young, when you’re a kid who found someone you want to be around all the time. If I’m around Johnny all the time I might fucking kill him.”

Jeno laughed, “then why did you marry him?”

“Because I love him. Because he makes me happy, a better person, he’s a good dad, and he makes me laugh when he’s home and makes me cry when he’s not.”

“That’s enough for you to marry someone?”

Jieun shook her head, “you don’t get it. When you meet the love of your life, I’m going to make fun of you relentlessly, Jeno. I hope you know that. I’m going to tell her that you’re afraid of the dark.”

Jeno threw a pillow at her, “I’m not a kid anymore!”

“Jaemin told me you still hold his hand when you sleep together, you fucking baby.” Jieun grinned, “I’m going to tell her that you had to have your older sister tell you stories to go to sleep.”

“Fine! Tell her! If she loves me then she won’t care!” Jeno huffed, “maybe she’ll tell me stories too, do you ever think about that?!”

Jieun laughed. Jeno watched as her eyes glinted with something, something that made him feel uneasy. Jeno furrowed his eyebrows and tilted his head, “what?”

“Nothing,” she said softly, pulling him in for an embrace. “I love you, Jeno.”

“You’re going to make me sick,” Jeno gagged. “Are you getting sappy on me because another girl is going to tell me bedtime stories?”

Jieun slapped the top of his head, “yes. That’s exactly why I’m sad.”

“I’ll stay over on Sunday, and you can tell me a story if that’ll make you feel better. Me, Hyunwoo, the twins, and Goeun will have a sleepover.”

“Promise?”

Jeno nodded, “you can have all your children with you.”

Jieun laughed, “you really are my child, huh?”

“I’m technically your first born, except, I’m not.”

“Don’t tell Hyunwoo, he gets jealous over that kind of thing.”

Jeno laughed, holding onto his sister until Johnny came back into the room.

Little did Jeno know, he would never have the chance to hear his sister’s stories again, as the accident happened the very next morning before Johnny went to work. Jeno remembered feeling sick when Jaemin told him, and angry at Jaehyun for not telling him first. Jaemin had to hold him back then, his curses into screams as Jaehyun only kept his head down.

Jeno doesn’t remember where he went afterwards, and especially didn’t remember reaching their old home. He sat on the front steps and sobbed, sobbed until he felt sick, sobbed until he vomited. If it weren’t for his weak knees, he would’ve been able to fight Jaemin off when he came to pick him up, but Jeno didn’t care anymore. He was placed in the car gingerly, Jaemin holding his hand tightly.

The funeral was a short ordeal, short for him at least, as he didn’t even stay the entire time. He refused to watch her pictures surrounded in wreaths of flowers, he refused to see her anywhere except on the same spot in the couch. He refused to stay anywhere in Seoul.

It was sudden. Jeno took advantage of everyone at the funeral to pack his things, the only person he happened to bump into was Jaemin’s father, who gave him a questioning look.

“Where are you going, Jeno?”

Jeno paused. Where was he going? Anywhere in Korea he would be reminded of his sister, whether it be in Seoul or Jeju, he would never find peace here.

“I don’t know.”

Jungmo nodded, reaching into his pocket and grabbing a few large bills and handing them to the younger boy. “I have a friend, in Maine. He owes me a favor. Lee Hyunshik.”

Jungmo held his shoulder and squeezed it tightly, “I’m sorry, Jeno. I’m sorry this is all I can do for you.”

Jeno hadn’t noticed tears rolling down his eyes before Jungmo patted his head. “I won’t tell anyone where you are, just promise me you’ll be safe.”

Jeno nodded, “thank you. This is more than enough.”

Jungmo offered a weak smile and let go of his shoulder, watching Jeno leave the front door of his home. What a harsh reality for Jeno, not knowing that this would be the last time he would also see Jungmo.

Jeno liked Maine. It didn’t look anything like Korea, it was different, everyone around him looked different. It took him a week to contact Lee Hyunshik, another dirty fiend who did his fair share in executing for Jungmo in the states, however, to save face Jeno was only allowed to call him Lee.

Lee lived in a large Cape Cod home close to the sea, with no one to bother him except him and his three dogs. Jeno had learned to take allergy pills due to his sensitivity to dog hair, but regardless enjoyed their attention.

Lee, very obviously, wasn’t going to let Jeno live in his house for free, so Jeno often joined on jobs with him, introducing him to the life and the work that Jungmo, Jaehyun, and Johnny did. Jeno hadn’t killed anyone, Lee decided he was too young to do so, but he trained Jeno to be a lot stronger than he presented himself, enforcing strict routines that made Jeno vomit the first few weeks.

However, after a few months, Lee found himself liking Jeno and found him useful. It was nearly impossible to hate him, Lee spent his fair share punching and slapping Jeno around, but he got up, teary-eyed and a bloodied nose that ran over his teeth.

Jeno would shake his head, lifting his arms to guard before grinning, “is that all you got, old man?”

Within the year, Lee trusted Jeno with heavier duties, such as body disposal and body retrieval depending on his mood. Jeno was in charge of getting rid and capturing people who owed him money, generally another white person who underestimated Lee because of his height and age, not knowing he had a new employee under him.

On a sunny but cold winter day, Lee sent Jeno off for money retrieval from a cook in some bent up restaurant around the corner. Jeno typically liked to ask what he was dealing with just to go prepared, but Lee was half asleep, dismissing Jeno with a wave of his hand and a “he’s tiny, just go”.

He was tiny. He stood a foot smaller than Jeno, making the latter feel guilty for picking on him.

“Lee wants his money,” Jeno said firmly after interrupting the bumbling white man. “He said today, or you won’t see tomorrow.”

The other man shook, reaching into his pockets to give him 200 dollars, “t-this is all I have, I owe him only 300 I swear, I swear. I’ll come over tomorrow, and I’ll get the money, I promise—Lee knows I’m good for it, Kid. Just ask him!”

Jeno narrowed his eyes, pulling out his phone and calling Lee instantly.

“What?”

“I have the guy you were telling me about, but he only has two hundred dollars and...”

Jeno stopped mid-sentence. He had never seen someone like her here before. Asian, at least, he could tell. Her hair was tied back, stray hairs poking out from the static from her jacket as she walked inside, ignoring the scene between Jeno and the man he had in his grasp.

“...Jeno? Jeno!”

“Ah—what? Sorry?”

“I said let him go. I’ll take care of him tomorrow, take his two hundred, “Lee sighed heavily. “Keep the two hundred. For your trouble.”

“Right. Okay, cool. Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me, you’re the one cleaning up that fuck tomorrow.”

Jeno grimaced but hung up the phone, taking the money before telling the man to scram. That he did, he ran towards his car and drove off, probably out of state if he knew what was good for him.

Jeno followed into the diner that he had never stepped foot in before. It reeked, and he wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or not, of bacon grease and apple pie. The girl he had been looking for was sitting alone in a booth, headphones on as she scribbled something in her notebook dutifully, enchanting Jeno even further. He sat at the breakfast bar and watched, earning a tap on his shoulder from a peeved waitress.

“You gonna order something, Ming, or am I gonna stand here like an idiot?”

Jeno was used to subtle and not so subtle racism but this at this point, he didn’t want to scare the girl off and ordered a random burger off the menu.

He ate slowly and watched her from the reflection. The waitress made her way around again, elbowing him before nodding toward hers.

“You gonna say something or what, Ming?”

Jeno narrowed his eyes, “it’s Jeno. Not Ming.”

“Same difference,” she shrugged. “She’s nice, she comes here often.”

“Not for the service, I’m guessing.”

The waitress grinned, showcasing her coffee and cigarette stained teeth, “want me to put in a good word? birds of feather flock together.”

Jeno ignored her again. He hoped he would see her somewhere else after this, because the waitress was driving him insane.

“I want to pay for her meal,” he said quickly. “But don’t tell her.”

“My lips,” the waitress made a zipping action, “are sealed.”

Jeno left the diner after he paid, his heart feeling lighter than it had been since he’s been here. He made his way home, humming to himself as even Lee gave him a strange look.

“Fuck, you’re tone-deaf.” Lee groaned.

Jeno visited the diner again, and to his pleasant surprise, the same waitress was there, wiping the table and giving him a grin.

“Somehow I knew you’d come back.”

“Not for you, I promise,” he snipped, taking a seat as he ordered what he got last time.

“Here comes your girl, Champ,” she winked, looking towards the door and watching the same girl walk inside. Jeno looked away quickly, his heart beating as he looked at her through the reflection again.

Her hair was down this time, covered in a hood as she removed her rain jacket, shivering slightly before she took out her notebook. Jeno watched the waitress give him a knowing look, desperately pleading her to not do anything stupid.

But she did. She accidentally gave Jeno her meal, forcing them to communicate as they were the only two in the diner. The waitress watched from behind the kitchen with the cook, their eyebrows raised as Jeno glared at them both. He slid from his seat and walked towards her, watching her head tilt up as she pushed her headphones off.

“Yes?”

“I— “Jeno cleared his throat. “I think they switched our meals, that burger’s mine.”

The girl looked at her burger and made a sound of surprise, taking the plate from Jeno’s hands, “oh. Thank you.”

“No problem,” Jeno was about to turn on his heel before he noticed what she was scribbling. A bunch of Korean was scribbled all over, almost in the form of note taking.

“Are you...Korean? By chance?”

The girl looked up at again and nodded, “uh, yeah. I am. I’m trying to learn, I guess.”

The girl looked at him with curious eyes, tilting her head, “are you Korean?”

Jeno nodded stupidly, “yep.”

“What’s your name?” She promoted, “I don’t know if you know this, but there aren’t a lot of Korean people here. Much less in this town.”

“Jeno. Lee Jeno.”

“Lee...” she hummed to herself. “Are you related to Lee Hyunshik?”

“You know Lee?”

“He and I are the only Koreans here, so, yeah. I know him.”

Jeno took a seat in front of her and shook his head, “we’re not really related. He works for my friend’s dad, and I’m just his apprentice, I guess.”

“He has a job?” She furrowed her eyebrows, “I don’t see him anywhere.”

“A lot of it is out of town,” he quickly fixed. “I just, help him out, y’know? He’s getting old.”

She nodded, not entirely convinced. “I’m Kang Yejin. My friends call me Angel, though. It’s easier to pronounce.”

“Yejin?” Jeno repeated, “it’s a beautiful name.”

Jeno looked up at noticed Yejin’s embarrassed face, his own cheeks flaming as he quickly tried to edit himself, “I’m so sorry I didn’t—I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable; I swear.”

“It’s just been a long time since I’ve been around someone else that was Korean.”

“Is this how you act with someone from Korea?”

“I...” Jeno gave up, laughing to himself. “No.”

Yejin joined his laugh, “good. That makes me think you’re a little normal.”

They continued to talk at the diner until the waitress kicked them out, telling them to continue whatever this was outside. Jeno paid for them both, offering his payment as an apology for being weird and rolling his eyes at the waitress who gave him a thumbs up.

They stood outside of Jeno’s car, continue to chat until he watched her shiver.

“Oh, god, I’m so sorry I’m keeping you out in the cold.”

Yejin shook her head, “no it’s fine. I don’t mind.”

“I’d offer you a ride, but I don’t want you to think I’m a murder or something.” Poor choice of words. He was a murderer. Just a contracted one.

“My roommate should be picking me up soon, don’t worry.” Yejin smiled, she looked at her feet before clearing her throat. “I’ll see you around though, I don’t want to keep you from going home.”

“I don’t really mind either, I’d like to stay until your ride comes, if that’s okay?” Jeno looked at the car, “we can sit inside if you want. I promise I won’t do anything.”

Yejin laughed, “you’re pretty jumpy.”

Jeno smiled and opened the passenger door for her, watching as she stepped inside before he walked over to the driver side, shivering and turning in the heat.

“Do you like Maine?”

Jeno shrugged, “I don’t mind it. It’s nice here. I like the ocean.”

“Do you miss Seoul?”

Jeno paused. He hadn’t thought much about Seoul since he’s been here. A whole year and he’s managed to shove his family down into the deepest pit of his heart, Jieun, Jaemin, Johnny, his niece and nephews. Yejin must’ve noticed the hesitance, which led her to apologize.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring something up.”

Jeno shook his head, “no. It’s nothing like that. I do miss Seoul sometimes, I’ve just been so busy that I never noticed it, I guess.”

“Are you going back?”

Jeno shrugged, “maybe. When I’m done helping out Lee.”

They both jump at the sound a horn honking, causing Yejin to curse.

“That’s my roommate,” she sighed. “It was really nice talking to you, Jeno. Maybe this is kind of forward but,”

She handed him a piece of paper with her phone number scribbled onto it. Jeno stared at it before blinking up at her blushing face.

“It’s not often you meet someone who’s Korean and your age here. I’d hate for you to leave without saying bye.”

Jeno smiled, shaking his head. “I won’t.”

“Cool,” Yejin smiled. “I’ll see you around?”

“Definitely.”

Jeno waved and watched Yejin get into her friend’s car, waiting to back up from the parking lot until they’ve left. He sighed to himself and smiled widely, driving the familiar way to Lee’s house and parking outside. He kicked a rock out of his way and opened the front door, Lee sitting on the couch with a dog on his lap and a beer in hand, looking at Jeno with a disapproving look.

“Yah! I sent you out for snacks four hours ago!”

“Huh?” Jeno stared at his empty hands, “oh. Fuck, hyung, I forgot I’m sorry.”

Lee scoffed, shaking his head, “it’s whatever. I’m out of beer anyway.”

Jeno went up to his room and fell on top of his bed, looking at the scribbled number with a goofy grin before turning in his bed.

to: Yejin

hey. It’s Jeno. Did you get home okay?

The response was immediate, making his heart skip.

from: Yejin

I did. My friend ran over a squirrel, but we survived :)

Jeno laughed, quickly typing a response.

to: Yejin

thank god. Goodnight Angel

from: Yejin

goodnight jeno :)

“Is this what you were talking about?” Jeno suddenly asked the ceiling, “is this what being in love is?”

Jeno smiled as he imagined Jieun’s responses. They would be along the lines of nagging, Jieun reminding him that just because she fell for Johnny quickly doesn’t mean he should do the same.

That night, Jeno fell asleep with his lamp on, so Jieun could find him in his dreams.

At four am he woke up to a loud explosion in the living room, causing Jeno to spring out of bed and run down the stairs. There’s a gun in his hand suddenly, thrown by Lee as he’s being strangled by a man in a mask, sending signals to the other boy.

Jeno’s hands shook. Yes, he was a murderer but by association not by method. He took a deep breath and steadied his hands, aiming for the chest but somehow miraculously hitting the head, spraying Lee in all kinds of brain juices. He cursed loudly and pushed the body off of him, taking the gun from Jeno’s hands and patting him on the back.

“You’re better at that than I thought,” he said breathlessly. “Fucking asshole.”

“Who is it?”

“Guess we should find out, huh?” Lee sighed, pulling the mask and revealing another police officer that owed him money. “Fuck, when will these fuckers learn!”

“Hyung? That’s... a cop.”

“So?” He scoffed, “what do you think you’ve been chopping up this whole time? Doctors?”

Lee shook his head, taking the bodies arms and motioning Jeno over, “help me get this pig down to the basement.”

Jeno grimaced and did as he was told, taking the legs as they threw the body down to be disposed. He sat at the foot of the steps as he watched Lee break bones like an expert, surprisingly nauseating Jeno as he went back upstairs.

He stared at his phone and noticed a new notification, surprisingly from Yejin and a smile on his face.

from: Yejin

sorry if I’m being annoying

are you awake?

to: Yejin

surprisingly, yes

from: Yejin

Do you want to meet up for lunch tomorrow?

well, today, technically

you don’t have to. I know we just met.

to: Yejin

I’d like that :)

Dates were plentiful after that. After their first date Jeno realized he didn’t have a lot of clothing, the majority of his good pants falling due to the weight he lost here. Even Lee had words to say about it, suspiciously eyeing Jeno every time he looked down at his phone.

“Is your dick that hilarious?”

Jeno snorted, “no. I’m looking at my phone.”

“Talking to that Yejin girl?”

Jeno smiled, “yeah.”

“Out of all the white women here in this bunk town, you chose the only Korean girl?” Lee tsked, “boy, do you know how to pick’em.”

Maybe Lee was right. Yejin was perfect in his eyes. She was funny, she was incredibly smart and witty, not to mention jaw dropping gorgeous. If Jeno picked anyone, it would be her. Dates turned into days together, days turned into weeks, and weeks into months.

Jeno and Yejin were officially together for six months now, they would be inseparable had it not been for Yejin’s classes. She often spent the night with him in Lee’s home, to which he would grumble a greeting before watching tv.

She felt so nice in his arms, she smelled like coconut shampoo and rose perfume and Jeno felt dizzy every time she kissed him. He was stupidly in love with her and he didn’t know what to do.

On a night much like any other, Yejin was over, yawning every so often in his arms as they mindlessly watched a movie on Jeno’s phone. They had a big meal prior to this, the food settling heavy in Yejin’s stomach and making her sleepy. Jeno took notice in her lack of attention and turned off his phone, watching with a laugh at her eyes opening.

“I was watching that.”

“I don’t think you were,” he smiled. “I’ll turn it back on if you tell me what happened.”

“No,” she said simply, Jeno’s laugh causing her to smile and wrap her arms around his neck.

They shared another kiss. Jeno wished he could stay like this forever, their limbs tangled together and the sound of the ocean outside his window, waves crashing against the sand. Their kiss deepened, Jeno’s grip tightening around her as Yejin made soft noises under him, her leg hooking over his waist.

They hadn’t done anything yet, not because he didn’t want to but because he didn’t know how to. He’s watched porn, so he knows the basics of a condom slinging fuck, but he wanted more than that. He wanted to make Yejin feel good too.

His dick was already hard in his pants and he knew Yejin noticed, rubbing against him as Jeno groaned into her mouth. He pulled away slightly, looking at Yejin’s dilated pupils.

“Do...you want to?” He asked gently.

“Uh, well,” Yejin cleared her throat, her cheeks growing warm. “I do, but I’ve never done this before.”

Jeno laughed breathlessly, shaking his head, “me neither.”

Yejin smiled and reattached their lips for a quick peck, “I want to have sex. With you.”

“Now?”

“Do you have a condom?”

Jeno racked in his brain. He should have one, by Man law he should always have one hidden somewhere. Lee had given him one once before when he first starting Yejin, and if he remembered carefully, he could locate it in his drawer. He reached over and grabbed it in his hands, his hands shaking slightly.

“Uh, yeah. Here it is.”

Yejin laughed, pulling him closer, “kiss me, Jeno.”

That, at least he thinks, he knew how to do. Clothes came off naturally at that point, slowly and gently as Jeno gave her time to prepare before he removed another article of clothing, looking at her in wonder once they were both finally naked, his hand resting on her neck before it ran down between her breast and rested against her stomach.

“Beautiful,” he sighed, kissing her again. “You’re so beautiful.”

Yejin inched away shyly, looking at Jeno with mirth in her eyes as his hand reached up.

“Can I...?”

She nodded, watching as Jeno’s hands moved to her breast, his thumb swiping over nipple and listening to her small breaths. Jeno bit his lip before boldly deciding to take one into his mouth, his dick twitching at her mewl.

“Is that okay?” He asked quickly, watching Yejin nod before she pulled him back up.

“Let me help you,” she breathed against his lip, taking his hand and moving it towards her center, shadowing Jeno’s hand as he cupped her heat, dipping his fingers in her wet lips, smiling at Jeno’s groan.

“This is what they meant when they said girls get wet, huh?” Jeno hadn’t meant to sound like a bumbling virgin, but it endeared Yejin as she nodded.

His fingers lingered around what he assumed was her clit, rubbing small circles and basking in her soft moans, not too loud in order to not wake up Lee down the hall. Slowly did she start pushing Jeno’s fingers inside of her, another groan falling from his lips. He couldn’t help it, if this is how she felt around his finger he couldn’t even begin to imagine what it was like on his cock.

Jeno easily stuck another finger inside, her whimper just a bit louder than her others, making Jeno smile. His tongue reached for her nipple again, her fingers threading through his hair before he pressed a kiss to her chest.

“You’re so perfect,” he whispered. “So perfect, I love you.”

He could hear her heart pound through her chest, Yejin pressing kisses on his head before she pulled his fingers out, staring at Jeno expectantly. He bit his lip again, reaching for the condom and ripping the foil packaging open, rolling it down his length as Yejin stared at his cock.

Jeno’s ears turned red, “what?”

“Nothing, it’s just...” Yejin cleared her throat, “big.”

Definitely the ego boost he needed. He grinned, laughing at the way Yejin rolled her eyes before she kicked him.

“Shut up.”

“I didn’t say anything,” he hummed, kissing her stomach. He swallowed harshly, leading the tip of his cock to her entrance, pushing it in slightly and watching Yejin’s face contort in discomfort. Jeno quickly stopped, his eyebrows furrowing in concern.

“Are you okay? Do you want me to stop?”

She shook her head, “no. No, keep going.”

It didn’t seem fair to him, to be in such overwhelming pleasure by having her squeeze around him as he sunk deeper. He sighed, rubbing circles with his thumbs on her thighs.

“Relax, Yejin. I don’t want to hurt you.”

She took a deep breath, once again shaking her head as she pulled him close. “Kiss me? Please?”

Who was Jeno to deny? He pressed his lips on hers ever so gently, soft pecks around her face as he bottomed out, looking down at her connected ends. He stared in disbelief at the bulge at the end of her stomach, running his hand over it and believing that this was something that only happened in porn.

“Holy shit,” he breathed.

“You can move now, Jeno. Please?”

He wasn’t sure if he wasn’t going to be able to keep it together long enough to move for very long, but he did anyway. He pulled away gently and watched Yejin under him sigh, her fingers at her clit and moving in circles. He thrusted up into her shallowly, his breathing heavy as he tried his best to keep a rhythm, but it didn’t work as easy as it did in porn, not when someone as hot as Yejin under him.

“Fuck, Yejin, I’m—” he huffed, gripping her hips as his rhythm turned sloppier than before.

Yejin sat up, taking Jeno’s lips and smiling into their kiss, “cum, Jeno.”

He groaned almost embarrassingly loud, his ears turning red as Yejin kissed him through his orgasm, filling the condom up inside her. He took a deep breath, pulling out quickly and apologizing when Yejin whimpered. He threw the condom in the trash somewhere, not entirely sure that he made it in or not. It was obvious that Yejin hadn’t cum yet, and he felt guilt despite her comforting him through it.

“I’m okay, Jeno it doesn’t matter—”

Jeno shook his head adamantly, “let me help. Please?”

His fingers prodded at her clit, his fingers meeting Yejin’s as she used his fingers to touch herself with. Jeno kissed her anywhere he could, trying his best to muffle her moans as she shook terribly under him, chanting his name as she came.

Sweaty and basking in afterglow, Jeno held Yejin close, listening to her breathing before she lifted herself on her elbow.

“I love you too.”

Jeno smiled, pinching her cheek, “you heard that?”

“I have a special ear for people telling me they love me.” Yejin smiled, “but I do. I really, really love you, Jen.”

“Thank God, this would’ve been awkward if you didn’t.”

Yejin laughed, pressing a sloppy kiss to his neck before falling asleep.

Everything after that felt like a dream. He had more than enough money to buy Yejin whatever she wanted whenever she wanted, and he couldn’t be more in love if he tried. Lee was used to it by this point, knocking on doors to ask if Yejin was staying over in order to know how much rice he should make. The best part of it all was that Yejin was in love with him too, giving her all into the stranger she had met in a diner.

On a summer day, Jeno and Yejin came back to Lee’s house, their hands swinging in between them as they walked into the cool home. Lee was nowhere to be found in the living room where he usually would be propped up with a beer in hands. No, this time he was at the dining room table, phone sat in front of him with his hands on his chin.

Jeno watched Lee rub his face before he asked Yejin to go upstairs. She nodded, leaving Jeno to sit in front of him.

“Hyung? What’s wrong?”

Lee sighed, his hand running over his scruff, “you’re being reassigned.”

Jeno blinked, “what? What do you mean I’m being reassigned? I don’t work for Jungmo. Hyung, I only work for you.”

“You started working for Jungmo ever since you shot the cop in the head last winter,” Lee grimaced. “But even then, that doesn’t matter. New management.”

Jeno furrowed his eyebrows, “what do you mean?”

“Jungmo died this morning. Jinho retired. Jaehyun is in charge.”

Jeno stared blankly at Lee, his head spinning as he tried to think of excuses, any excuse to stay here. “I’m not leaving.”

“You can’t stay here expecting Jaehyun won’t come and drag you by the scruff, Jeno.” Lee looked up at the stairs, “it’s best to say your goodbyes now.”

“So what? That’s it then? You’re going to let them take me?”

“What do you want from me, Kid? Hm?” Lee sat up from his chair, “if I say no, I’m dead. If I hide you, I’m dead. This doesn’t work well for any of us. All outcomes end with you in Korea, period.”

Jeno got up from his chair violently, shaking to himself before he got to his room, fuming and almost forgetting Yejin was there.

“Jen?”

No response. He took a deep breath and walked towards the window, a cool breeze fanning over his face before he felt Yejin’s arms around his waist.

“Jeno? What’s going on?”

Jeno turned around and took her face his hands, his thumbs caressing her cheeks with her face colored in concern. “I have to go.”

“Where?”

“Seoul,” he said gently. He could see her heart fall at the word, and even then, she still held a bit of hope.

“For how long?”

“I’m not coming back, Yejin,” Jeno wanted to kill himself for making her cry. The mix of sadness, confusion, and the delusional hint of hope was swirling in her eye, enough to make Jeno feel sick with guilt.

“Then I’ll come with you.”

“No, Yejin.”

“Why not?” She defended, “my Korean got better, you said so yourself, right? It’s not like I have parents to consult or family to leave behind.”

Yejin held his hand close, “you’re all I have here. Please don’t leave me.”

Jeno’s heart broke into thousands of millions of pieces. He never wanted to leave her, and it wasn’t in his plan to do so ever, “what about school, baby? You love school.”

“I love you,” she corrected. “I can go to school anywhere else in the world, but I love you.”

This must’ve been what Jieun felt all those years ago. A leap of faith, a dive into unknown waters just for the sheer fact that you are utterly devoted to someone.

“You’d leave everything for me?”

Yejin shook her head, “you are my everything, Jeno.”

Maybe this was a sign then, a sign of better days.

It took Yejin all but two days to pack everything she needed, exchanging swift goodbyes with her roommates before she sat in Jeno’s car. He glanced over at her, giving her one more chance, but she was clear in her decision even without say a word.

They left to retrieve Jeno’s luggage before Lee gave him a last goodbye. He had a learned a lot of from Lee the last two years, and Lee from him. He hugged him tightly and gave him a smile.

“I packed you a lunch in your luggage,” he winked. “Don’t take it out until you’re back.”

Jeno smiled and nodded, exchanging one last goodbye before they headed towards the airport. The truth was, both Jeno and Yejin were nervous, their hands clasped together as if they were glued together, refusing to lose the other in the airport.

The flight to Korea was nightmarish, with turbulence and storms all throughout, almost to remind Jeno of the hell he left. Despite the nightmare, Yejin held his hand through it all, counting the lines in his hands while he slept.

Jeno felt like a fish in an ocean, surrounded by everyone who looked just like him with someone who had wide eyes next to him. Jeno wondered if she began to regret it yet, but it didn’t seem like it, despite the fear in her eyes.

They took a cab back to an apartment, the one Lee was renting out should he ever go back to Korea—but judging the sizes between the house here and his home in Maine, Jeno found it hard to believe that he would be coming back anytime soon.

While Yejin napped on the couch, Jeno went through his luggage, looking for his “packed lunch” and finding a large metal case smashed and taped with magnets, enough to send sensors into a fury.

He quickly undid the tape and undid the clasps, revealing a small magnum pistol inside and a note that read: you’ll need this more than me. Not to mention, you were always eyeing it when I used it. Good luck, Kid. Don’t forget to write.

Jeno scoffed, don’t forget to write? what an old man thing to say.

Yejin woke up from her nap then, shuffling towards the bedroom and wrapping her arms around his waist, kissing his shoulder, “is this your lunch?”

“Apparently,” he hummed. “A lot of work to make sure it wasn’t detected.”

“It’s pretty,” she yawned, falling on the bed and pulling a throw blanket she brought with her over her.

“Are you going to take another nap?”

Yejin nodded, “I think so. Are you going out?”

Jeno nodded, “I have to go see someone. But I’ll be back, I promise.”

“You better be,” she mumbled. “This is a shitty way to break up with someone.”

Jeno laughed and kissed her, “never.”

Driving to the old Jung home wasn’t something he thought he would be doing, especially not so close after his sister’s death. He parked the car outside and sat there for a minute, looking at Jaemin, Jaehyun, and Jisung through the window. They all looked to be distraught, Jisung especially. He got out of the rental car and moved towards the door, a voice calling out to him before he froze.

“Jeno?” Jihyun called behind him, “oh my god, Jeno!”

Jeno returned her hug tightly, smiling and remembering how much he had missed Jihyun as well.

“You’re so tall!” She smiled, “and so cute! You’re so handsome and built!”

Jeno laughed and pulled her at arm’s length, “thanks. I guess.”

Jihyun looked at the door, “are you coming inside?”

“I, uh, I don’t know yet.” He admitted, “what if they aren’t happy to see me?”

“I can tell you for a fact that Jaemin would be happy to see you,” she admitted. “At least, more than me.”

Jeno tilted his head in confusion, leading Jihyun to laugh sheepishly.

“Me and Jaehyun...aren’t together. I’m only here to offer moral support, I guess. As friends.”

“Why?”

Jihyun shrugged, “because I care, I suppose. Anyway, go, go inside. I’ll meet you in there.”

Jeno wished that Jihyun would at least walk inside with him, but she had other plans as he knocked on the door, looking at his feet as he heard footsteps walk toward him.

Jisung opened the door, his eyes sad and downcast until he recognized the person in front of his, a wide smile on his face, “Jeno hyung!”

Jeno returned his smile and hugged him tightly, “when did you get so tall?”

“Two years ago,” Jisung beamed, holding him tightly.

Jaemin entered the foyer after Jisung. Jeno stood awkwardly at the doorway, watching as Jaemin calculated several different emotions until the latter crashed into him, Jeno sighing in relief as he hugged his best friend.

“If you ever leave me like that again, I’ll fucking find you and kill you myself.” Jaemin seethed, hot tears falling in Jeno’s neck.

“I know, I’m sorry, Jaem.” Jeno’s hold on Jaemin was tight, “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, asshole. Just promise to never do it again.”

Jeno smiled and nodded, “I promise.”

Lastly, Jaehyun entered, looking the most tired of them all. It looked like Jaehyun had aged 5 years the two he was gone, the sudden transition to boss not going well for him.

Regardless, he was happy to see Jeno and breathed a quick breath of relief at the sight of him. He joined his hug and patted his back before looking over him, “you look...well.”

“I’ve been pretty good, thankfully.”

“Good, I’m glad.”

Jeno cleared his throat, looking around awkwardly before continuing, “Hyung, I’m sorry. For making you worry, for your dad, for everything.”

Jaehyun dismissed him, “don’t be. I’m glad you’re better.”

Jihyun made her entrance then, hugging Jisung close to her as Jaemin left the room quickly. Jaehyun pulled away to look at her and if Jeno could recognize someone that was still in love with their ex, it was Jaehyun.

“Hi,” she said quietly.

“Uh, hey,” Jaehyun cleared his throat. “Jeno is here.”

Jihyun nodded, “I saw him outside. Right, Jen?”

“Yeah, yeah we did.” Jeno nodded. If there’s one thing he didn’t come for was awkward tense atmosphere between two idiots who clearly broke up for no reason. Jeno’s name was called from the living room and he eagerly followed the sound, excusing himself to follow Jaemin next to the couch.

“You don’t want to be around for that,” he said. “It’s going to be messy.”

“Should we call Jisung?”

“No, he likes staying there. He makes sure they don’t kill each other.” Jaemin looked at his friend and held his hand, just like before. “Where’ve you been, Jeno?”

“A tiny town in Maine, I was with some guy name Lee Hyunshik, do you know him?”

Jaemin shook his head, “I’ve never heard of him.”

“He trained me, I guess. I did work for him, and then he told me I was transferred back here.”

Jaemin furrowed his eyebrows, “what do you mean?”

Jeno blinked, “what do you mean what do I mean? he told me that Jaehyun hyung asked me to be here.”

Jaemin shook his head, “Jaehyun hyung just got out of bed today, he’s been sick with grief and heartbreak. I thought he was going to die next.”

Jeno stared blankly at his friend. It seemed so real then, the emotion and the disappointment from Lee, unless someone else called for his return, but he doubts it. The only person who knew of his location was Jungmo, and he promised to keep it away.

“Anyway, I’m glad you’re here, whatever the reason.” Jaemin looked at his expectantly, “are you going to stay the night?”

Jeno shook his head, remembering Yejin at the apartment, “not today. I have something to do.”

“Like what? You just got here.”

“Just some things,” Jeno deflected. “I’ll tell you later, I promise.”

Jaemin gave Jeno a suspicious look before nodding his head, “okay. You aren’t going to leave now that I told you you weren’t called, right?”

“No, I’m not. Not after you threatened to kill me.” He smiled. Jaemin returned his smile and hugged him once more.

“My number is still the same. I’m sure Jaehyun hyung will call you for a meeting sometime soon after the funeral, though. Since you’re his employee now.”

“Okay, I’ll see you later.” Jeno reassured, passing by Jisung who was left behind in the foyer with a sad look to his face.

“Are you leaving? Already?”

“I’ll be back later, don’t worry,” Jeno smiled. “Where’s your brother?”

“They went to his room,” Jisung grimaced. “It doesn’t sound good.”

“They’ll figure it out, ‘sung. They’re adults.”

“Bad ones.”

“No one is good at being an adult,” Jeno sighed. “Believe me.”

With another goodbye, Jeno left the house and drove off in direction to the apartment, his head bobbing to the music before he made it back to the apartment.

After kicking his shoes off at the door, he walked into the silent apartment, noticing Yejin was still asleep. He laid down next to her and smiled when she instinctively curled to his side, humming as she took a deep breath.

He laughed at himself. Not ten years ago he would be sleeping with a nite lite on, listening to video game soundtracks to help him fall asleep if his sister happened to sleep before him. Now here he was, 20 years old and curled up next to someone who would probably laugh at him if she knew.

“Yejin?”

“Hm?” She mumbled, more asleep than awake.

“What would you do if I told you I was afraid of the dark?”

She was silent for a moment, her hand resting on his stomach as she rubbed his tummy. “Read you a bedtime story, maybe. Why? Are you afraid of the dark?”

Jeno felt like he could run a mile. He held her tighter, causing the latter to groan and push him off, “ow, Jeno.”

“Sorry,” he laughed, kissing her forehead as an extra apology. “No, I’m not afraid of the dark. Not anymore, at least.”

“Good.” She chuckled, kissing his chest. “Turn them off then, you promised you’d wake up early to take me out to breakfast.”

That he did. He had no problem waking up if it was with her. He had no problem setting an alarm to watch her snore, to watch her drool unattractively on his pillow.

He’d wake up early everyday if he wanted to. He’d wake up, just for her.

Jeno groaned at the light in his eye.

He’d wake up from anything.

His head still felt like it was pounding, and he couldn’t completely feel his toes.

“Jeno? Baby?”

Why was waking up so...hard?

“Can you hear me, Jen?”

Yes, he wanted to say, but his throat felt dry.

“Take your time, baby.“ Jeno could feel a hand on his forehead.

He didn’t want to. He wanted to be awake. Now.

masterlist

#I dont think im going to tag this one hehe #too much effort: in the end these r for me and if anyone reads them then nice :] if not oh well hehe #jaemin #jeno #jaehyun #mafia au #these nights au

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eternaljouska · 5 years

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Bear Hug - Hansol Vernon Chwe

Pairing: Idol!Vernon x Reader (The idol-ness doesn’t really show, though)

Genre: Fluff

Warning: nonexistent

Word Count: 1611

Note: The format is slightly different. I was planning to change it, but my friend said it’s better to keep it this way, so... yeah.

Also, @jookyunhoevercoupshoe here you go, i’m sorry, i promised to upload this yesterday, but you know what happened (?) Hope this is enough, even if the moment is too short. DON’T READ THIS WITH TOO MUCH EXPECTATION, PLEASE. THIS IS JUST A FEW SECONDS INTERACTION--5 MINUTES MAX. (Tell me if this is way below your expectation, tho, i’ll try to write something better in the future 🤧 i feel so insecure about this one, ugh)

Yes, he knows. Vernon knows it is very uncharacteristic of him to dress up like this. His fashion taste may fall into a questionable category, but that’s the way he is—free-minded, free-spirited, unbound to the lines the society draws around him. If someone knows him at all, they should be able to tell if the clothes strewn randomly on the bed are his or not, he would bet anything on that.

Or not. Surely, if he cares enough about his wellbeing, he would not involve himself in any more misleading pursuit such as that, moreover if it is initiated by the one and only Yoon Jeonghan. Just like how everything is, the bet started as something harmless, bordering foolish really, and then, the older man whined and raised the stake to make things a little more interesting. And here Vernon is: dressing up as a Teddy Bear in the middle of the crowded Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport as a consequence to his tough luck. He’s supposed to put his costume as soon as he passes through the immigration process. And mind you, it is not even a Teddy Bear onesie. It’s a full-blown mascot costume with the sponge or who knows what it is in its belly. It’s hot and heavy. And fortunately, Vernon speaks English fluently, which allows him the additional task of coming up to at least seventeen kids and giving each of them a balloon and a hug before joining his other members in their lounge.

Vernon is cautious. He asks the airport officials a few times to ascertain that it is completely okay to do what he’s about to do. He’s praying with all of his heart that it’s not, but the words that they told him were much looser than a no. Oh, good God, he’s already traumatized, and he hasn’t even exited the restroom. This is just so not him. He could see Seungkwan in it—Soonyoung or Seokmin, too, or any other member for that matter—but not him. How should he approach unknowing kids with a balloon and a hug and just leave immediately after? What if their parents question him? Oh, how he hopes he’s more than a mass of awkwardness starting to melt inside his burning costume.

“Hi! Hi? Hi,” he says and repeats several times, trying out his various friendly tones in front of the mirror of the deserted restroom. “Okay, you can do this. Hi, want a balloon and a hug? Perfect. Okay. Let’s get it, Vern.”

“Hi!” he lets out in a tone way too high for his liking, which is met with what could be a horrendous scream of an unsuspecting boy if only he’d spared him a glance on his run to the stall. “Want a—oh, right, yes, you need to go to the restroom, aha, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Yes, Vernon, great first attempt. Proud of you, yeah, haha.

His second attempt is better, and his next few ones are decent.

There’s a girl walking timidly behind her father, her short arms clutching around her father’s leg. The wetness under her eyes is still visible. When they arrive in front of Vernon, her father mouths to him that Riley, his daughter, is scared, but she wants the balloon. Vernon nods his giant head a few times and walks slowly towards the girl. “It’s okay, Riley. Teddy bear doesn’t bite. Here, have a balloon.”

The girl looks up at her father who in turn urges her forward to pick her balloon of choice. Blue. She chooses a blue balloon. “Thank you, Mr. Bear,” she whispers before hiding behind her father’s leg once again.

For a while, Vernon just strolls around the airport, past the gift shops and nearing the gate where a little girl runs towards him and squeals in all excitement, “Can I get the pink one? Can I get the pink one?”

Vernon tries to kneel down to match the girl height, but that proves difficult with the compact belly he’s supporting. “Mia,” the girl’s mother chides from several feet away, causing the girl, Mia, to drop her smile and stop bouncing on her feet.

“I’m sorry. Can I get a pink balloon, please?” she asks again, peeking from underneath her bangs. And Vernon’s heart melts at that sight, in a rate quicker than his costume makes his body does.

“Of course! Here you go. Do you care for a hug? You can get a free balloon and a free hug!”

“I love hugs!” The girl jumps into Vernon’s hug, bumping his pillowy belly, with chuckles that help him come into term with his punishment. Well, this is a lot more fun than I expected. “Bye-bye,” Mia intones as she skips back to where her mother’s standing, a wide smile showing her neat teeth still placated on her face.

After Mia, there’s a big family seemingly on their way to their vacation. There are at least four children from that family alone, Vernon has lost count, for then there are a few others coming out of nowhere and circling him, creating quite the commotion of shouts of color. And with the last yellow balloon given to a kid named Jerry—or the way he adorably pronounced it, Jewwy—Vernon’s task is completed.

Vernon sighs, pretty content about what he’s done and given for the kids, but tired nonetheless. He drags his padded soles to the restroom where he first began his mission. He knows that there are other restrooms, obviously, but for sentimental purposes, he wants to use the same one. The restroom’s sign’s starting to get clearer as he gets closer to his destination when he feels someone poking on his back.

“It’s unfair that only kids get free balloons and hugs like that, you know.”

Vernon turns around only to face a young woman of his age standing with both hands folded in front of her, looking at him with half a pout on her lips. Vernon opens his mouth to say something, but words fail him. He’s lucky his huge bear head can hide his gaping mouth.

“I know you ran out of balloons, but can I at least get the hug?” she inquires. Vernon notices her fingers that are actively pinching the skin of her elbow. She’s adopted a tough appearance—expression, tone, and stance—when she first spoke up, but now, Vernon would say that she’s almost sheepish. “Well, I mean, it’s okay if—“

Without thinking further, Vernon finds himself opening his arms widely, welcoming the young woman in front of him. Seeing that it’s Vernon who initiates the hug, he didn’t imagine he’d be surprised when she dives into his embrace, but he does. Vernon takes an involuntary step back from the impact. The young woman’s hold on him is so tight that he can still feel the squeeze despite his thick costume.

The words are you okay? are hanging on the tip of his tongue, his heart goes erratic with growing worries, but the young woman beats him to it. “I’m sorry. I just need this.”

Vernon realizes at that point that his arms are still wide open, so he brings his hands together, closing in on her. “It’s okay. As long as you are, too. Okay, I mean.”

She laughs, but Vernon catches the hint of tears in her melodic chuckle. “Hey, what’s wrong?” he says, placing his hands on her shoulder to break the hug and allow him to see her face. She has her head ducked down, too occupied with the nudging show her boot has with Vernon’s big fluffy bear foot.

Understanding that she won’t do it on her own accord, Vernon moves his hand to cup her cheeks to raise her head, which somehow erases the frown on his forehead and frees his own laughter. Her cheeks—almost her whole face—is drowning between Vernon’s paw, and it makes her look too adorable for him to handle. And she, still with her pouty lips, struggles to bat away Vernon’s paw. When Vernon lets her cheeks go, she wipes her tears away and goes on to chastise him. “What are you laughing about, huh?”

“You,” Vernon answers shortly, half-aware that his word’s going to irritate her furthermore.

“What? That’s plain cruel, Mr. Teddy Bear! You’re supposed to be a Teddy Bear, not a Baddy Bear.” She blinks several times at the end of her sentence, probably noticing how weird that sounded.

Vernon scoffs, “W-what?”

A split second after that, the two young adults laugh uncontrollably, and Vernon’s thought flies to the timid girl earlier, Riley. She had called him Mr. Bear; she’s afraid of him and called him Mr. Bear. He wonders, is that her way of showing her ambivalence between Mr. Teddy Bear and Mr. Baddy Bear?

“Can I have one last hug?” she begins after their laughter died down. “I can’t visit the airport whenever I need a free hug, you know?”

“Sure.” Vernon’s head is emptied of any coherent thoughts as he wraps her in another tight hug. This is it. She’s going to walk away from him, and soon he’ll change into his normal clothing and everything stays in their memory, awaiting the time when memory blurs and reality dissolves into the dark of forgetfulness.

“Thank you,” she whispers, very much as Riley did, and starts walking backward.

“Actually,” he half-shouts, too deep in his previous consideration to notice, “Would you like my nu—no, um, my company, yeah, my company’s contact. You know, for business inquiries.”

She chuckles, the trace of tears has long since gone away. “Sure, I’ll take that.”

Note: Leo @leojov , this is why I lowkey freaked out when you mentioned me and started talking about teddy bear.

#vernon fluff #hansol fluff #seventeen fluff #chwe hansol fluff #vernon scenarios #vernon imagines #hansol vernon chwe #hansol imagines #hansol scenarios #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines

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tuesdayscanons · 5 years

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Anais: Family

My portrayal may differ from canon- probably not too much, but I like giving myself wriggle room rather than watching every episode and using canon as law.

GUMBALL

Gumball definitely annoys Anais sometimes- for various reasons.

Sometimes, Anais feels like the older sibling with how many times she has to give him advice and talk him out of doing something he'll probably regret later.

No matter how much they annoy each other, they have each other's backs.

Anais wouldn't admit it out loud, but she trusts Gumball to protect her whenever there's something she can't face on her own. She tries to give her brother the same protection, but she's still a little girl and probably needs him to defend/comfort her more often than not.

DARWIN

Darwin definitely seems closer to Gumball, but Anais still enjoys his company and feels comfortable around him.

His sensitivity and optimism makes him easy for her to talk to and confide in. She can also have fun with him when it's just the two of them- Gumball tends to take over and make Anais feel left out.

Anais wishes Darwin wasn't so content to just go along with whatever dumb plan Gumball comes up with, but accepts that he's Gumball's sidekick and probably won't change any time soon.

NICOLE

Anais admires her mother's work ethic and strength greatly. She definitely has Nicole's drive and already shows signs of having her power as well.

Nicole's anger is pretty scary though. Anais knows better than to mess with her.

I don't know if Nicole knows the extent of her daughter's gifted-ness, but she's probably the family member who's most likely to encourage Anais to develop. Putting puzzles together with her, helping her study for tests, playing trivia games with her...

At the same time, I think Nicole would also want Anais to enjoy being a kid and tries to avoid pressuring her the same way her parents did. Anais finds these concerns a little silly, but she has to admit that she can use the nudge to take it easy sometimes.

RICHARD

Though Richard isn't exactly the most intelligent person in Elmore, Anais still has respect for him. She can see the effort he puts in to be a good father and his emotional intelligence is an admirable trait. He's also easier to sway with her puppy dog eyes.

Spending time with her father allows her to relax more and embrace her childish side.

Anais tries to give Richard the same support and encouragement he gives to others. She knows what it's like to be underestimated so she does her best to show she has faith in him...even if he keeps failing.

I see similarities between Anais' relationship with Darwin and her relationship with her father, but she's ultimately closer to Richard.

#ooc #headcanons #((just included the main family for simplicity))#((idk how relevant the extended family would be anyway))

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bestsickpenscom1989-blog · 6 years

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kalesandfails · 6 years

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fear no eval

Lily has her autism evaluation today, and I’m the working-mom cocktail one would expect given that I got home after her bedtime last night, after spending a full day volunteer-teaching art to other people’s kids, arranging referrals for other people’s kids, eating dinner with someone else’s special-needs daughter, who is lovely and who I am excited to be taken care of for my second job, when I am not primal screaming inside because after twelve hours away from my children I become feral and lost, like an hyena whose baby has been captured and caged elsewhere.

I want to just own the fact that as scary as it is to be told something is wrong with your kid — and while “wrong” is not how I would characterize the difference between a child with a developmental delay and a typical developing child, it is exactly what I read when I look at her IEP and when I talk to her teachers; they’re not writing reports on her play routines or toilet training because they’re so impressed by it — the challenges Lily has don’t seem to be limiting her right now. She can’t be three forever, so I may just be blissfully ignorant of the specific grief of itemizing the things she won’t get to do. Maybe I have that waiting for me as she gets older; I don’t know. But I don’t think anything the school psychologist assigned to Lily could tell me at this point would make me grieve for her, because I can look at Lily and see that she’s a happy, loving kid. Lily’s living her best life now, and it’s an autism screening, not a biopsy. I’m not scared for my daughter.

But perhaps you’re familiar with the other part of these evaluations, in which you, the parent, fills out your own assessment of your child’s abilities and tendencies. Like: does she play with others, sustain conversation with adults, maintain eye contact — which: no, no, and no.

And, if you are like me, you are also familiar with desperately trying to phone a friend without about fifteen of the questions because you may not have realized this before, but you are a horrible parent who has no clue what is going on with your child.

Does Lily understand how other people feel? Never, rarely, occasionally, frequently, or very frequently? I have no idea what Lily understands. Last time she told me “I understand” it was in response to my fourth firm-but-loving declaration, “It’s bedtime now,” and I was momentarily charmed by her chirpy little Lily singsong, less so when I found her standing on her bed with a Disney guitar in one hand, surrounded by small piles of books, ninety minutes later.

Does Lily line up objects in a row? Maybe she does, at some point between eight a.m., when I drop her off at daycare, and six p.m., when I get home from work.

Does she have a strong reaction to any change in routine? If she does, good luck, since it is six fifty six a.m. right now and, if called upon to predict what I’d be doing in twelve hours, I could do so with maybe 60% confidence.

Resentfully circling my selections, stopping on occasion to passive-aggressively solicit my husband’s input — he was unloading the dishwasher, which, while a ballache, doesn’t involve processing the growing suspicion that actually our child’s diagnosis has less to do with organic neurological difference and more to do with the stress associated with chronic parenting failure — it began to seem like leading with the parenting response form is a clever way of softening the blow. Your child has a verbal delay? Given that she’s a stranger to her own mom, perhaps you should be happy she’ll talk to your neglectful ass at all.

I don't think I’m a shitty parent. But I can’t parent the way I want to parent, because there’s no world in which I would choose to be with my preschooler for three hours a day. When I was childless, I’d raise my fist in utterly clueless solidarity with professional writers who penned articles in feminist magazines about the various iterations of work-life balance that “worked for them” or “made sense for their family” or “felt right”. Now I find all of these as precious as my blog posts from my early twenties. My work-life balance is struck, not between devotion to my kids and personal ambition, but between my terror of destroying my children and my equally intense terror of being unable to provide for them. My kids are tough, and I am proud of them, but they are tough in part because of all the things I can’t do for them, and that feels like a horrible wound I keep covered up. I don’t know how to fix it, but most of the time I can pretend it isn’t there.

This is how I feel as a college-educated married mom with a flexible employer and an in-demand job, with a child whose disabilities, whatever they are, require interventions that we are able to access with little interruptions to our lives. What do parents of children with more severe disabilities even do? What are they doing on their kids’ eval days? Probably not blogging.

I don’t know the answer to any of this. I mean, besides providing universal child care like the rest of the developed world and reworking the crippling power imbalance that makes grown-ass adults afraid to set limits with their employers and stemming the giant swooshing upflow of our entire gross domestic product into the hands of the same fifteen families.

But for us, I mean, I don’t really know. I don’t believe I’m fucking my kids up because I have to work, because I have an anxiety disorder that causes me to chronically overbook myself, or because my need to work keeps me from getting adequate care for that anxiety disorder and I just get more jobs and do all the things instead. But possibly I am.

But I do know this: while the process of being evaluated throws my myriad maternal failings into high relief, Lily’s brain working differently than other kids’ isn’t a result of any of them. Viewing “special needs” as a result of either working parents or genuinely poor parenting — never mind the deeply fucked-up-ed-ness of conflating those two things — doesn’t just harsh my buzz; it also reinforces the bullshit narrative that neurological differences like autism are deficits, evidence of damage. I’d never think of my daughter asdamaged — unless, of course, I’m doing it inadvertently, as an implied corollary of my belief that I’m a crap mom and every worrisome bit of feedback I get about anything is further evidence of that. Which is exactly what I’ve been doing.

So today’s gift is this: even though my brain is wired to embrace the weird catharsis of blaming myself for everything, even though that feels normal and comfy and safe to me, I will not doing that with respect to Lily’s special needs. Moms, you are probably not fucking up your kids so much as you are being assigned the blame for our completely FUBARed economic system. But even if you are fucking up your kids, you are definitely not making them autistic.

#anxiety #parenting #parenting fail #autistic kids #working mom

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dough1443 · 6 years

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Christmas 2018

Well once again we have a holiday. A day out of the year to be happy. Take a break from life spend our money making others happy. Loving the ambience. Now if only we could do that all year.

Take breaks be happy. Love everyone.

I grew up not ever having a Christmas tree. We got our gifts in trash bags. Wasn’t room in the house for a tree. So when I got on my own the Christmas spirit got me. It became favored holiday. And I definitely wanted to do every Christmas stereotype. Something my kids could remember.

But sometimes we get set backs. Well at least I did, what have I learnt? My pop would say.

Well Iv learned that god has kept me alive when I should be dead.

Free when I should be in prison.

God has put change and open minded ness in my heart when he thought I was ready for it.

Iv learnt that my time isn’t up. My growing isn’t done. And Santa will one day return to my home. Peace. Embrace. Character. And love.

Patience has always been a tough one for me. But I’ve mastered it, well almost. 2019 will be my year to start my legacy. And I’m so excited for me. My family. My kids. And to anyone else who can stand up and say they beat the evil in the world.

Will I fail sometimes yep. But now I’m prepared. And boy am I ready.

As I look at the empty stockings on my wall and think about my grandmas traditional Christmas for me.

As I wonder if my kids are enjoying there morning and dwelling the fact that I’m not there

I smile because it’s Christmas. I’m okay. And god has a plan for me.

Merry Christmas 🎄🎁🎄😃

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vanityrise · 7 years

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Family Matters chapter 24

Chapter 24 “I love you two babe”, Charity replied trying to control her breathing from the crying. Charity couldn’t believe that her little boy was awake and speaking after the trauma he had gone through. She knew it was going to take time for him to reach 100%, but the fact that he was awake and responding was a step in the right direction. “Hi Noah, I’m Dr Noble. But you can call me Adam. How you feeling? If it’s too hard to speak a thumbs up or thumbs down will do”. Noah tried to get the words out but his throat was too dry, he managed to raise his thumb and give his audience a smile. “Thats a good start, does anywhere hurt?”, Adam replied. Noah managed to point to his leg which had been badly bruised in the car crash. “Ok, good. So no pain anywhere else then?” Shaking his head, Noah replied. “This is all really good news, the fact that the only pain he has is in his leg which we knew was damaged. It’s all looking really positive. I’ll leave you to it, any change just press the buzzer”, Adam said stepping to one side to speak to the pair. “Thank you so much, for everything”, Charity replied. “You’re welcome”. As Adam left Charity walked to the other side of the bed, while Vanessa was still on the other side. “Hey Noah, boy am I glad to see that smile of yours!”, Vanessa said squeezing Noah’s hand. “You make sure you make a speedy recovery I’m still waiting for that video game lesson”. Noah turned his head to look at Vanessa and gave her a big cheesy grin, clearing his throat he attempted to reply. “Th..ank you. Fo..r loo..king after m..um”, he replied the best he could. With tears filling her eyes Vanessa looked over at Charity smiled, looked back at Noah smiled even more and replied, “it was my pleasure. Do you want some water for your throat?” Noah nodded, Vanessa left the room to go and find some cold water to try and help sooth Noah’s throat. “How did you know Vanessa had looked after me?”, Charity asked. “Could you hear us when you were in the coma?” “Yes, everything”, Noah replied “Everything?” Charity said worryingly. What if Noah knew it was his sister that is to blame for his accident? Noah nodded and began to laugh. “You didn’t hear that?” “You two got caught”, Noah replied laughing. “Oh no, you can’t let Vanessa know you know that we got caught. She’ll be so embarrassed”. In walked Vanessa to the pair laughing, “what have I missed?” “Noah could hear when he was in a coma”, Charity said whilst giving Vanessa a semi concerned look. “Really? Wow that amazing... wait no... he knows doesn’t he. Oh god”. Realising she was never going to be able to forget getting caught, she decided to embrace it and laugh along with them. “I’ll be able to use it against you both”, Noah teased. “I don’t think so babe”. “Here have some water, it will help your throat”, Vanessa said helping Noah to drink. “Right I’m going to head back to the village to fill everyone in on the good news, need to see Johnny as I’ve been a bad mum recently and I’m going to grab a shower. If there’s anything you need from the pub give us a text and I’ll grab it for you, I’ll come back to see you later”. Vanessa said walking over to Charity, “I’ll see you later” she said kissing her girlfriend. “Right I’m going to pop to the hospital shop to get some snacks for us, do you want a magazine or anything?” “Surprise me”, Noah replied. Rushing to catch up with Vanessa, Charity was concerned about how much Noah really did hear! “Ness wait, Noah claims he heard everything? What if he knows about Debbie?” “Oh god I totally forgot about that... I guess you wait and see if he brings it up?” Vanessa replied. “Ok so I need to try and figure out what he heard, right I’ll see you later”, Charity said as she walked in the opposite direction. *** Back at the village a chirpy Vanessa headed straight for the pub to let everyone know the good news about Noah. “Vanessa! How’s Noah?”, Chas bombarded Vanessa as soon as she walked into the room. “He’s awake!” “Oh my god, I’ve never been more relieved in my life”, Chas replied. “So is he all ok?”, Cain asked. “So far so good, he’s not complaining of any pain which is good. His throats causing him the most pain but he’s in good spirits”. “It’s great news it really is”, Paddy added. “We’ve had a collection round the village and we’ve got some cards and presents for him. Shall I give them to you sis?”, Tracy asked. “Yeah Trace, I’ll be heading back there later. Need to see Johnny first I’ve completely neglected him the last few days”. “Hey, don’t feel bad. He understands that you’ve been looking after Noah”, Tracy replied. “You’ve been brilliant Vanessa! They are both very lucky to have you and I know Charity appreciates it a lot”, Cain said from over in the corner. “Thanks, I’ve tried”, Vanessa responded, Cain had barely ever said two words to her let alone praise her for being there for his ex. “Is he up for visitors? Moses is dying to see his big brother”, Paddy asked S he had been helping Chas with the kids over the past few days. “Yeah, I believe so. I’m sure he would love to see some friendly faces”. “Perfect, I’ll get him ready and we will head over there now. Thanks Ness” Paddy said. “Right I need to go attend to some mummy duties, I will hopefully see you all soon for a much needed pint”, Vanessa said as she got ready to leave the pub. “I think she really does love Charity!”, Paddy said to Chas. “I genuinely think they are the real deal” “I feel stupid now for all that drama we caused at the beginning for them” “We were only being cautious” “Right, I’m going to get Moses ready, so that when Debbie makes an appearance we can go see Noah”, Paddy said. *** Charity returned from the shop with lots of goodies for herself and Noah, she walked into the room to find that Noah had managed to sit himself up. “You’re looking a lot more human now”. “I feel a lot better”, Noah said quietly as he was still struggling with his voice. “Good! So I’ve got lots of goodies, got you some chocolate buttons, a twix as they are my favourites. Some biscuits, monster munch, a selection of magazines and a cuddly toy”. “Mum I’m not a little kid” “I know but I couldn’t resist. If you don’t want it you can give it to Moses! So what else did you hear?” “I heard Joe come to visit, Debbie was here but I don’t remember anything from that visit. Oh and you told Vanessa you loved her”, Noah said quietly trying to stop her throat from hurting, “That’s about all that happened really! So strange to think you heard it all”, Charity said relieved that he couldn’t remember everything. “So do you love Vanessa mum?”, Noah asked. “Yes, I do. I’m happier when I’m around her”. “Good, because I like her too. She’s nice and wants to play video games with me”. “She’s still waiting for that lesson”. “Mum...” “Yes babe” “Don’t mess this one up.” “When did you get so smart? Don’t worry I will do my very best not to mess this up. Right shall we crack open the chocolate?”, Charity said as she climbed onto Noah’s bed. “I’m sorry for getting Joe to pick me up from school without telling you!”. “I forgive you, next time just tell me. So I know where you are! I was worried sick about you Noah. I know sometimes I’m not the best mum in the world but you and Moses mean the world to me and I would do anything to make sure you are safe.” “Don’t forget Debbie” “And Debbie..” Charity reluctantly said. “Anyway I think your the best mum ever”, Noah said cuddling up to his mum. Charity sat there and smiled, hearing those words come out of her sons mouth made her forget the fact that Debbie was the cause of this accident. There was a knock at the door, Chas, Paddy and Moses entered the room armed with lots of presents and balloons for Noah. “Up for some visitors?”, Paddy said peering Moses round the corner of the door. “Moses baby”, Charity said leaping off the bed to cuddle her youngest. “Hey Noah, how you feeling?”, Chas asked. “Much better thanks”. “We’ve got some presents from the village for you”, Paddy said handing Noah the bag of gifts. “Thanks”, Noah replied as he started to open his presents. “Is Debbie coming to see me?”. Chas, Charity and Paddy looked at one another as none of them knew how to answer that question. Paddy decided to answer, “shes really busy at the moment with the garage but I’m sure she’ll come see you soon”. “So what did you get?”, Charity asked trying to change the subject. “I got the new FIFA game from everyone”, an excited Noah said. “Wow, you’ll have to make sure you thank everyone when you get home”. “I will don’t worry mum”. “Any news on when he’ll be able to go home?”, Chas asked Charity. “No idea, I’m just so glad he’s ok. Never been so worried in my life!” “I bet! What you going to do about the other problem?”, Chas asked referring to the problem with Debbie. “No idea, to be honest right now all that matters are my two boys and Vanessa. She’s gone a step too far this time and I don’t know if I can forgive her”. “Things are getting serious with Vanessa then?” “Yeah, they are and I’m excited”, Charity responded with a massive grin on her face. “Can you do me a favour?” “Of course, what’s up?”, Chas replied. “Can you stay with Noah while I go back to the pub and shower? I feel so dirty”. “No problem, me and Paddy we’ve got this”. “Thanks”, Charity said kissing her two boys before leaving heading back to the village.

#vanity #vanessa x charity #charity x vanessa #charity dingle #vanessa woodfield #emmerdale #love #lgbt #fanfic #new chapter

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shldwielded-moved · 7 years

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HEADCANON: sven’s perspective on being dragonborn

this is something that i, surprisingly, haven’t really touched base on in my time here? which is dumb. so i’m gonna write about it.

Sven obviously has feelings about being Dragonborn, and it isn’t constant or unchanging throughout his life. it varies from different opinions as he grows and changes just because that’s how people work.

as a child, of course, Sven doesn’t actually know he’s Dragonborn— but he knows the stories and the legends of the Dragonborn and that excites him. he wants to be a hero like that. what kid doesn’t? Sven, as a child, wanted to be a hero and a revered warrior like the Dragonborn— Velfar used to pretend to be a dragon so that little Sven could chase him around and whack at him with his little wooden sword. that was what Sven wanted to be, for at least a few years; but he grew out of it.

later on, after Sven actually discovers that he’s Dragonborn, he has a lot of mixed feelings about it. one one hand, Sven does not want to be the Dragonborn, because that is a whole level of responsibility that he does not want or have. but on the other hand... he doesn’t really have a choice, so he goes with it. throughout his journey, he embraces it as part of his identity because it gives him purpose and, previously, Sven didn’t have that. he comes to think of it as an integral part of who he is up until a while after Alduin is defeated. he is so proud of it that he lets the title engulf who he really is, and suddenly he sees himself as the Dragonborn more than he does Svenntir; because he feels like he actually has purpose that way. it doesn’t change until after he returns to Windhelm to find only one of the three family members he left behind and he goes off to war for the Stormcloaks.

it’s at that point that Sven begins to detest the origin of his soul. war drains him, and he is tired of Ulfric and every Stormcloak there is throwing roses at his feet as he walks by, even when he refuses to use Thu’um to advance the war effort and presents himself to the fight as only a man and not the Dragonborn. he hates being treated like a god whereas previously he reveled in it. being Dragonborn has suddenly become all that he is to everyone else and not just himself. he is suddenly only seen as THE DRAGONBORN and not SVEN. he doesn’t know who he is anymore. he is regarded like he is a weapon, a tool, even a threat to be used against the Empire and Sven absolutely hates it.

it’s a slow build-up, but by the end of the war and his second return to Windhelm, he absolutely loathes being Dragonborn. he wants to be a normal person and this “gift” has deprived him of that. after the war is over, the next task is uniting men and dragons— and Sven doesn’t even have it in him to do that, or so he thinks. being Dragonborn has not left him time to grieve his parents, grieve that his sister is an adult now and does not need him anymore, to process any of the trauma that both his journey and the war have left him with, or even to spend time with the few remaining people he loves. maybe, if he hadn’t been Dragonborn, he could have even returned to Windhelm and made peace with his parents before they passed away. the world keeps asking things of him that Sven doesn’t have, and so he begins to believe his gift is really a curse in disguise. his raging depression and PTSD at this point really factor into this, as well.

in a few years, by the time that Sven is in his 30s (he’s 23 when the war ends), this feeling dissipates a bit. as Sven gets the chance to recover and grow, he gradually accepts being Dragonborn as a part of who he is again. Sven is the Dragonborn, but the Dragonborn is not Sven. he doesn’t let it or anyone else boil him down to his destiny because, now, he knows that he is more than that. he knows he is a person with feelings and emotions and troubles and thoughts and that he is not just a weapon or a hero or a tool. he is not just the Dragonborn— he is Svenntir.

tl;dr Sven has some issues with his Dragonborn-ness early on, but gradually comes to accept it as a piece of himself.

#ngl i teared up a little writing this #wow i really love sven #｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ forged in ice; as true nords are (( ABOUT ))

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80smikewheeler · 7 years

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Byeler Headcanon 🚲💗-Oneshot

This is my ‘Byeler Headcanon 🚲💗’ post, that I’ve turned into a full-length fic, as requested by @otpgod1 I’m sorry it took like a million years to finally post, {In all honesty, I had forgotten about it for a while, I’m so sorry!} But, as requested, here is the fic version of my headcanon! I really hope you enjoy it, and just a little heads up about the sentences…I have no idea, why tumblr has messed with my sentences, there was supposed to be a new line for a new sentence of course, but I’ve tried to get around it a few times, and it keeps arranging my sentences this way! So apologies on that, it was not done intentionally, but I hope you guys really enjoy this, it took me sooo long to write and rewrite etc! Please enjoy, and share if you did enjoy it! Beta by: @noahsbyers A few people to tag who either asked me to tag them, or I’m pretty sure would be interested: @michaelxbyers @sincerely-millie @elevenmlke @come-float-down-here-with-me On a cold, frosty winter’s morning in 1981, the atmosphere around the small town of Hawkins was unusually quiet. The sun had just started to peek its head over the frosty mountains and small rays of sunshine dimly lit the abandoned streets of the town. Old, screwed up newspapers danced across the empty roads like tumbleweeds in the wind. Frost lay thick on car windows, and a deathly chill could be felt in the air. But this unforgiving winter’s morning was different. Mixed in with the cold and the frost was a feeling of joy. The air seemed crisp, and a touch of something magical could be felt all around. The kind of magic only young hearts feel. The kind of magic that all children believe in, untainted by harsh realities or adulthood. It was a special kind of magic - Christmas magic. As the sun rose and the fresh snow started to melt, sunlight crept in through Will’s bedroom window. It sent rays through his blinds, creating a streaky effect across his room, illuminating every corner of it. It rested on his face, the sudden light resting on his eyelids waking him up. Will rose out of bed and looked over to his alarm clock in excitement. The time read ‘7:15am’ in a dull, crimson colour. He couldn’t help but smile. It was earlier than last year, and he couldn’t wait to race into the living room to see what gifts Santa had left for him. In his red Rudolph pyjamas he crept quietly out of his room, slipping into Jonathan’s on the left. The room was murky, with the tiny rays of light forcing themselves through the window. Will could just about make out a figure of his brother lying in his bed, his body sprawled across the covers like a spider. Will silently assessed his brother’s breathing for a moment or two, watching the rise and fall of his chest slightly heighten the bed covers before bringing them back down again. Will waited for his moment, and then pounced. “Wakey-Wakey Jonathan! It’s Christmas Day! It’s Christmas Day!” Jonathan rolled over for a moment, expressing his displeasure of being woken so early by his brother’s yelps with a husked groan before finally opening his eyes to see Will practically on top of him with a look of pure excitement glistening in his eyes. “Okay okay! I’m up, I’m up! Stop yelling!” laughed Jonathan. Will smiled and signalled for him to follow him into Joyce’s room. “Should I just run in and fling the curtains right open?” Jonathan asked playfully. Will grinned. “Yeah, and I’ll give her a morning wake up call!” The two boys ran into their mother’s room, Jonathan heading straight for the curtains and Will launching himself belly first onto her bed. He adopted the same routine that he had used on his brother, bouncing like crazy all over her and shrieking at her joyously that it was Christmas Day and that she needed to get up. Like Jonathan, she groaned and grunted for a few seconds before waking up with a smile on her face at seeing her two sons looking so happy and excited. She gave Will a little tickle around his sides as she followed him into the living room. Laid out on the floor under the Christmas tree were a few small boxes all wrapped in different coloured paper, glistening under the light. Will immediately dived into his presents and started carelessly ripping and tearing all the paper off, a magical glow in his eyes. Shrieks of excitement came when opened gifts containing X-Men comics all in mint condition and fresh in their shiny packaging were revealed. Another gift was torn open rapidly revealing a painting set with mini canvases and an array of brightly coloured acrylics. Will sprung up on his feet at this and began bouncing up and down in excitement, rushing over to his mum to thank her for the paints. Joyce knew how much her son loved to paint and draw. He was pretty skilled at it too, often hanging his masterpieces on the fridge or on the walls around the house. So seeing him so delighted in this gift made her smile beamingly. Finally, after wading through a scatter of discarded wrapping paper and tiny red ribbons that lay strewn across the mahogany carpet, Will eyed the last gift that lay almost hidden under the branches of the tree. It was small and rectangular. Will wondered what it could be. He reached for it, this time slowly and carefully unwrapping the paper to reveal a small piece of white paper. He stared confusingly at it for a moment, before turning it over to reveal what looked like in Joyce’s handwriting, written in black ink, ‘For your final present, you must go outside.’ Will peered out of the window curiously. What could it be? As his mind stared turning over excitedly, wondering at what it could possibly be that he had to go outside for, his heart started racing rapidly and he felt a pang of ecstatic-ness in his stomach…Could the final present be what he’d wanted for so long? What he’d practically been dropping hints at left, right and centre all year? He pressed his feet into the slightly snowy floor beneath him as Joyce and Jonathan followed. The instant touch of ice on his skin made him shiver and shudder, to which his mother and brother shared a giggle at. He didn’t mind the cold though. For some reason, Christmas Day was the only day he could enjoy the cold and smile at the icy gusts of wind batting in his face. It must have been the magic and the atmosphere that Christmas gave to it that made him happy rather than grimace and frown like he would any other day. His arm hairs pricked up at their ends as he turned the corner of the house, hoping to see the bike he so desperately wanted propped up against the wall. However, what he saw was not what he was expecting. Instead, a small, somewhat dingy brownish dog kennel stood in the middle of the white sheet of snow on the grass. Will felt a little disappointment for a moment that it wasn’t the bike that he wanted but soon found a smile, knowing that it was for Chester who needed a new kennel anyways. Will being the happy and grateful little child that he was beamed anyway, knowing that his mum wasn’t very wealthy and was doing her best to make this a good Christmas for him and Jonathan. After all, he’d still gotten some really cool X-Men comics which he knew couldn’t have been cheap considering they were new and not secondhand like most of his other stuff. He knew that must have set her back a bit and he felt grateful that he had even gotten that. So although it wasn’t the shiny blue bike he had his eye on, he still leapt up and down, running towards his mother and embracing her in a warm hug, thanking her for Chester’s new home. Joyce knew that her presents weren’t exactly fantastic, nothing like Mike Wheeler or any of Will’s other friends would be getting, but seeing him always so happy with whatever she got him reassured her and she let out a little laugh of joy as her son squeezed her in a hug. She held his head in her frozen hands and lightly kissed his forehead. “Merry Christmas Will! I’m glad you like your presents. Shall we go inside for some breakfast?” Will nodded and tugged at his mother’s hand, pulling her back inside away from the cold, feeling satisfied with his gifts. Joyce and the kids were just finishing pulling the last of the Christmas crackers after dinner, the popping sound making Will jump every time, producing laugher out of Joyce and Jonathan again when the shrilling sound of the phone ringing interrupted their childish table-side giggles. Joyce answered and told the caller to ‘hold on just a moment’ as she gestured to Will that the phone was for him. Will leapt up in a flurry, guessing that it was either Mike, Lucas or Dustin calling to wish him a ‘Merry Christmas’ and talk about what they each got. As he put his ear to the speaker, his mouth curled up at its ends when he heard his best friend Mike’s soft, gentle voice practically squealing down the phone, wishing him a ‘Happy Christmas’ as he had expected and instantly asking him what he had got. Although afterwards Mike didn’t begin to tell Will what he had got, but rather simply asked, “Are you allowed out for a bit?” in an excited tone. Will smirked at this request and quickly flipped 'round to face Joyce. Without even having to ask, Joyce nodded, smiling. “Yes. You can go over to Mike’s for a bit, but don’t be back too late. I want you home for 10pm, alright? And no more 'just 5 more minutes’ games, alright? We have your grandma coming over tomorrow and you need to get a good night’s sleep, okay?” teased Joyce. Will nodded in obedience and returned back to the receiver. He picked up his handmade card for Mike, as well as a small plastic box which contained another handmade item - a woven green and brown friendship bracelet which he was so excited to give to his best friend. He grabbed his jacket and made his way up the slippery streets towards Mike Wheeler’s house, looking forward to seeing him. A few weeks after Christmas, when all the excitement had died down and the snow and ice had began to fade away, melting and evaporating into the soggy street’s pavements and the bittersweet feeling of knowing that school was starting back up again, Will got himself all wrapped up, wearing the scarf that Mike had gifted him and the small, blue bobble-hat that accompanied it as he made his way to the corner of the streets that met in the middle to meet Mike, Lucas and Dustin for their walk to school together. It was approximately 8:30am as Will approached the corner, his feet trudging a little through the remaining icebergs of snow. He smiled realising that he was the first one there again, like he always was. He stood alone for a few moments, breathing in the fresh morning air whilst snuggling his slightly chilly, stinging face into his fluffy scarf, relishing in the warmth it gave him and the slight hint of Mike’s smell embedded into the fibres. He suddenly heard voices and the turning of bike wheels. He looked up and saw his three friends cycling towards him through the mist. “Hey Will!” Shouted Dustin, skidding and stopping just before Will’s feet. “Buddy! I’ve not seen you in ages! Sorry I couldn’t come and visit you over the holidays! I had to go visit my family out of town. It sucked. They didn’t even have real Nilla wafers!” Dustin joked. Will laughed. “It’s okay Dustin. I’m glad to see you! And you Lucas!” Will said, as he began walking besides the boys bikes as they ambled up the street. “What about me Will? Aren’t you happy to see me? I see you’re wearing your new scarf and hat! I take it you like it then?” teased Mike with a small smirk etched on his cheeks. “Of course Mike! I love them! Thank you so much!” rejoiced Will. As the conversation went on and they made their way up the road, the chatter turned to bikes and more specifically, asked by Dustin, why Will wasn’t riding one. Will blushed, feeling a little bit embarrassed. “Oh,-I-I didn’t get one this year…” Will answered nervously. Dustin frowned, “What? Even after all those hints you dropped? Even though you’ve literally wanted one forever?” Lucas shoved Dustin a little at this comment, giving off a discreet, but clear death stare. Mike noticed that Will felt embarrassed, and a little bit disappointed. At this, he began to feel guilty that all three of them were on new, shiny bikes that they had got for Christmas and poor Will was just walking beside them, looking tiny compared to them all. “I’m sure you’ll get one for your birthday Will!” reassured Lucas. Will smiled in agreement as they continued to wander up the chilly streets of Hawkins, next discussing Dustin’s unhealthy obsession with Nilla Wafers and how he could tell so well if they were real or not. The boys laughed as they all playfully teased at Dustin. A few days later, after sensing his friend’s low mood, Mike caught Will after school and asked him if he wanted to go for a ride around Hawkins before stopping off for some sweets from the corner store. Will smiled, but then a small frown began to furrow in his brows. “But, I don’t have a bike. How am I going to ride up there without a bike?” Will asked sadly. Mike grinned as he held out his hand, “You can ride on the back of my bike if you like?” Will laughed, “Yay! Are you sure?” Mike nodded happily. “Of course! It’ll be fun! I’ll be like your little chauffeur or something! What do you think? Master Mike will be your chauffeur today sir, please be careful when getting on and off the bike.” Will responded in fits of laughter, running over to his friend in joy. He grabbed his bobble-hat, gifted to him by Mike and placed it on his black curls. “What’s this for?” chuckled Mike. “It’s your chauffeurs hat Mike, don’t be silly.” laughed Will. Mike’s eyes creased as he laughed at his little friend’s imagination. Will always had an idea for everything, a story for every occasion, for every person. He admired his sense of humour and pure childlike mind. Will carefully clambered onto the back of Mike’s bike, wrapping his arms around Mike’s waist, feeling a sudden rush of butterflies as he did so. Mike beamed as he felt Will’s warm hands resting around his sides. It almost tickled him a little bit, but he didn’t dare laugh – he knew that Will, who had the exact same tickle spot was an expert in knowing how to tickle the hardest in that spot, since he’d had it done to himself so many times before and Mike was due for tickle revenge off Will anyway since last time Will was over at the Wheeler’s house Mike had tackled him to the floor for the 'dog’ monopoly piece and tickled his sides until he screamed, begging him to stop. Will won the fight however, Mike letting him use the 'dog’ piece as Will excellently argued that it reminded him of Chester. But he swore to get Mike back for the agonizing tickle when he least expected it. So Mike kept quiet, not wanting to alert Will of being tickled in fear of his revenge as he started pushing on the pedals and riding away, feeling Will’s tightening grip on his jacket as the bike sped up. As the boys rode along through the more rural areas of Hawkins, the few spits of rain falling down off tree branches and splashing into their faces, Mike began to feel a ticklish feeling on his back. For a moment he panicked a little. Will wasn’t getting his revenge now, was he? 'Oh god no,’ thought Mike. He let out a small acknowledging giggle, as his back started to squirm at this peculiar feeling. “Will! Will!” he struggled to speak through the inflicted laughter. “What are you doing?” “I’m drawing” Will responded casually. “Drawing? What do you mean? Drawing what?” Mike enquired. “You have to guess…” giggled Will teasingly. “What is this? Am I your art canvas now?” joked Mike. “Okay erm…a dog?” “Is it Chester by any chance?” wheezed Mike. “Noooo! Guess again.” replied Will, giggling at his friend’s inability to breathe properly from the tickling sensation it was giving to his back. “Okay…erm…a rhino?” answered Mike. “Do you give up?” teased Will. “Yes! Yes! You’re tickling me now! Please stop!” squirmed Mike playfully. “Okay, it was Rory.” “What? Rory as in my dinosaur I have at home?” asked Mike, shocked at the answer. “Yeah, why?” quizzed Will. Mike tittered, “Will, you know I think you’re like the best artist around. I have several of your drawings hung around my house, but I’m telling you, that did not feel like a dinosaur to me!” Will shook his head, playfully nudging Mike’s back as he did so. “What? You have no idea what you’re talking about! That was definitely a dinosaur! Your senses must be all messed up or something.” Mike chortled in reply, living for this time he spent with Will alone. He loved Lucas and Dustin, they were like brothers to him, but Will… Will was something special to him. He felt like Will was somehow more than a best friend to him. They had this special bond, everyone knew it. Lucas and Dustin had often commented on how they’d always end up getting side tracked whilst playing D&D over at Mike’s, because Will and Mike would somehow always end up bantering and messing around with each other to the point where eventually Dustin and Lucas would give up trying to get them back on track and join in with whatever they were doing. Tickling each other, playfully arguing or calling each other names or play-fighting. Dustin had often said on many occasions that playing any type of game with Mike and Will was like playing with an old married couple and Lucas had taken it a step further by jokingly referring to either one of them as the others 'husband’, or 'wife’ if they were feeling particularly cheeky and mischievous. This always sent them both blushing profusely, or having Mike whine, “Shut up.” to them as Will smirked, embarrassed. Mike definitely felt closest to Will out of his group of three friends and as much as he loved hanging out with all three of them, he cherished the little moments he got with Will. Like this one. After this one occasion, Will made riding on the back of Mike’s bike a more occurring and permanent thing. Every morning before school Will would walk up to the corner to meet his friends and jump on the back of Mike’s bike, gripping into his clothing and feeling the warmth of being next to his best friend. This, of course, gave Lucas and Dustin more of an excuse to call them a married couple and jocularly tease them about sharing their 'first means of transportation as a married couple’, which made Will blush more and more every time. He couldn’t lie, he too loved spending time with Mike. Riding on the back of his bike made him feel safe and all warm and tingly inside, if he was being honest with himself. He loved the smell of sweet apple scent that often wafted his way every now and again when the wind would pick up and waft some of Mike’s shampoo his way. He felt delight in the fuzzy feeling it gave him. A feeling of butterflies and warmth…a familiar warmth actually. A warmth he had felt around Mike quite a lot. He liked it. The wind blowing through his hair, the closeness he had with his best friend, the enjoyable ride on Mike’s bike and the nice feelings that came with it were all his favourite things. He cherished it. Until one Sunday afternoon where Mike called him over to his house to 'give him a present’, which made curious Will elated to go… When he arrived at the Wheeler’s, Mike was stood outside with a huge grin on his face. He looked like he was going to explode from excitement. “What is it, Mike?” questioned Will. Mike smiled teasingly at Will, looking into his deep blue eyes and saying, “Follow me, and you’ll find out…” Will looked puzzled, but trustfully tailed his friend into the garage. Mike turned to hit the lights, a buzz and an electric hum that filling the the air, before the rusty-smelling garage was illuminated by bright, clinical blue-tinged lighting. Will’s eyes adjusted and he scanned the room for what he was supposed to be looking at, when he spotted something which had an electric blue ribbon neatly tied to its outside. On closer examination, he realised it was Mike’s bike. He looked over at Mike, in hope for an explanation or some sort of answer. “It’s for you!” Mike said, cheerfully. Will’s face froze momentarily in shock. “What?! What do you mean?” “It’s yours Will, that’s what I mean. I don’t need it anymore, I got a new bike, I said my tires were too rusted on this one.” Explained Mike. Will looked up at Mike, looking him in the eyes in utter amazement, his mouth agape. “I don’t understand…I…” Mike cut him off. “Look Will, I know how badly you wanted that bike at Christmas and how disappointed you were - even though you tried not to show it - that you didn’t get it. I hated having a bike when you didn’t. Now I can teach you how to ride it and we can go on bike rides together now and stuff…I mean…if you want?” nervously stuttered Mike. For a moment, only silence passed between them. Will ran up to his friend as fast as his legs could carry him, throwing himself into Mike’s chest, squeezing him tightly and feeling that ever so familiar fuzzy feeling again as he did so. “I take it you like it then?” asked Mike. Will didn’t say anything, but his tightening grip on Mike made the answer abundantly clear. Will looked up at Mike for a moment, meeting his dark brown eyes. “M-Mike? Erm, would it be okay if I…erm…?” Before Will had a chance to finish off his sentence, Mike leaned down and kissed him. Will couldn’t believe what was happening. His heart began to soar and he quickly kissed back. The warmth and the growing intensity of the feeling of butterflies in his stomach made him smile immensely, sending the corner of his mouth peeking upwards. Mike felt it, and it only made his heart beat faster than it was in the moment before he kissed him. Mike stood back up, breaking away from Will as they both gazed into each other’s eyes, still in awe and disbelief at what had just happened. Mike blushed a little more and said, “Come on then. We’d best get started on those lessons! I can’t be your designated chauffeur forever, you’ve got to be mine sometimes too, you know!” Will gleamed, and walked out to the driveway with his newly acquired bike, Mike trailing beside him. After a few weeks of training from Mike, Will got to be as good as Mike, and they often had races together to the corner of the street in the morning before school, the winner always getting a kiss off the other. Mike would purposely take his time and let Will win, as he loved receiving the kisses, and he knew Will loved giving them. Just as from time to time Will would pretend his bike was in for a repair, just so he could ride on the back of Mike’s again and draw all over his back in his most ticklish areas. Mike knew his bike wasn’t in for a repair, he knew it was just something Will said so he could share a bike with Mike and he didn’t mind. In fact, he loved it. Jokingly bickering with him over what exactly it was that Will was drawing on his back was what made Mike smile the most. Perhaps Dustin and Lucas were right after all. Perhaps they were an old, married couple…

#byeler headcanon #byeler fanfiction #byeler #mike x will #will x mike #will byers #mike wheeler #stranger things #stranger things fic #stranger things fanfiction #st fandom #fanfiction #fic #headcanon #stranger things headcanons

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evenstevensranked · 7 years

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#31: Season 1, Episode 2 - “Stevens Genes”

Louis makes the track team! Not only that, he’s poised to be the new star runner! The only problem is that Louis runs as slow as a sloth. Sound confusing? Well, it’s all part of Larry Beale’s plan to set him up for failure and humiliation.

It’s only the second episode of the entire series and things are already starting to pick up amazingly. This episode is packed with memorable and quotable lines, many of which I still use to this day. This one continues with the theme established from day one: Louis trying to discover something he’s good at. I love this theme. It makes for some awesome character growth and it works really well here!

It opens with Coach Tugnut rallying up the boys in gym class, announcing that there’s an open spot on the track team. This of course, somehow segues into him worshiping Donnie Stevens and ranting about how much of a legend he is and what an asset he once was to the track team. Well, to every team actually. If Ren is the academic overachiever, Donnie is the athletic overachiever. Tugnut yells at the class army style to turn right and bow their heads. We then get a shot of this giant mural dedicated to Donnie excelling at every sport ever with patriotic music playing in the background. It’s incredible. It also includes one of the greatest unspoken quotes ever:

Donnie needs to give a TED Talk. Stat.

While this Donnie praise is happening, they make a point to show Larry Beale -- who I’m assuming is Coach Tugnut’s assistant since he’s not in Grade 7, looking visibly disgusted. He mumbles “Donnie Stevens is over. It’s my turn now” to himself. Oh, boy.

They head out to the track to do some timed sprints. Of course, Larry is the one with the stopwatch. Larry’s sort of taunting all the kids trying to motivate them to run faster. When it’s Louis’ turn we get a line that always gets a laugh out of me:

The thought of Louis “running” slow enough to take days to reach point B is great. Gotta love his self-awareness.

To everyone’s surprise, Louis is extremely fast. Even faster than Donnie’s best time. Could this be Louis’ “thing” he’s good at?! Don’t get your hopes up. Larry purposely clocked his time in at 18.25 seconds... which is probably a good 8-10 seconds before Louis actually finished lol. Tugnut is shocked and gives Louis the vacant spot on the team immediately.

Tugnut is totally kissing Louis’ butt now because he thinks he’s carrying on the Stevens Dynasty. Louis is seriously amazed that he’s so fast!! “I always knew you had it in you!!” Tugnut tells him. And then we get yet another line I love:

Legendary save, Tugnut. Legendary save. I literally use this quote whenever the opportunity arises.

Louis starts hanging out with Donnie more to get some sports advice. Donnie suggests the most ridiculous things like putting mousse in your hair for aerodynamic-ness and shaving your legs to run like the wind. Which results in a line you’ve undoubtedly heard: “Donnie, I’m running track -- not modeling pantyhose.”

We see that Ren has been assigned to cover sports for the school newspaper. She discovers that Louis made the track team, and is immediately suspicious. I’d be too, tbh. I mean, this is the same kid who gets cramped up and winded just from tying his shoes. Louis is pretty excited about this new-found talent, though. He’s finally starting to feel like a true member of the Stevens family. Naturally, this goes to his head and he’s already dreaming of becoming a multimillionaire Olympic athlete:

Do athletes just stand in the middle of a packed arena and get handed giant checks for 40 mil? Like... is that a thing? Not to mention, the check is from “Hoop Stars” and clearly shows a basketball player logo. Okay.

Around this point, we start to see Louis succumbing to peer pressure a bit. This happens a few more times throughout the series. Yet another symptom of desperately wanting to fit into his family. He ditches Tawny and Twitty at lunch to hang out with Larry and the popular jocks.

Larry is so fake. Louis is so pure. I’m so sad.

Ren stops by to get a quote from Louis about the big meet against Rockport and he gives the most awkwardly ridiculous and overdramatic statement. That patriotic music we heard earlier kicks in again. It’s great. The cherry on top is when he mispronounces Rockport “Rock-a-por.”

Later that day before practice, Louis takes Donnie’s mousse advice a little too far:

You’ve probably seen gifs from this scene. (Especially the gif version of the photo I chose for the cover picture.)

He shows up to practice feelin’ all suave with his moussed-to-death hair. There’s a “Staying Alive” knock-off playing as he walks towards the track. I actually love that this show basically never got the rights to use the legitimate songs. It sort of makes everything funnier, imo. That, and Disney Channel is cheap apparently and don’t permanently pay for the rights to popular songs. Dunno if I mentioned this before, but Lizzie McGuire was pretty much the channel’s most popular show and was super trendy/caught up in Early 00′s pop culture. Therefore, that show used SO MANY official songs. 16 years later, almost all of those songs are missing in the reruns and replaced with terrible stock music. An iconic scene like the “Us Against The World” music video is not nearly as impactful or nostalgic because they’re dancing to generic techno music now. It SUCKS. So, thank god Even Stevens never used any. Their stock music sort of works subconsciously. The song used here is totally not “Staying Alive” -- but it’s juuust close enough that it triggers your brain and you remember it as “Staying Alive.” Kinda cool.

Side note: It’s so difficult to not quote almost every line of this episode. There are so many good ones, I have to keep stopping myself from typing out a freaking transcript.

Anyway, Ren observes Louis and Larry practicing and it’s crystal clear that Larry is holding back for whatever reason.

Be a little less obvious, Larry. Also, sorry for all the gifs. I can’t help myself.

Ren puts the pieces together and figures out what Larry is up to. His plan is to set Louis up to fail big time at the meet. That way when he beats Louis, he’ll be able to gloat about beating “the fastest Stevens of all!” Makes sense. Ren tries telling Louis, but of course, he doesn’t believe her........ WE GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN ONE EPISODE LATER IN WHAT’LL IDOL DO, JUST REVERSED. God. Siblings not believing each other drives me insaaaane. I understand where Louis’ unwillingness to believe is coming from though. He insists that Larry is Ren’s enemy, not his, and he’s just so excited to finally have something to be good at. It breaks my heart.

Ren later apologizes and tells Louis that she’s proud of him. Louis rants again about everyone in the family having their “thing” and now that he’s found his he’s not gonna let anyone take it away. But, Ren tells him “You HAVE your thing. You’re... funny.” *Cue the emotional piano. Literally.* You can tell those words really mean a lot to him.

We’ve made it to the big track meet. Coach Tugnut gives the guys possibly the greatest motivational words ever: “Remember, it’s not whether you win or lose -- as long as you come in first.” Perfect. There’s also a great bit here where Donnie is stretching Louis’ leg and asks him when the last time he stretched was. Louis is clearly in pain and says “I don’t have a schedule with me right now... but if I were to guess..... uhh.... NEVER?!” - This is so me. I’ve also used that quote before.

We learn that Louis’ main rival is some dude Trevor Dunn. As the runners take off, both Trevor and Larry dramatically fall halfway to the finish line. Victory is within Louis’ reach... If he just keeps running, he’ll totally win! But what does he do?! He runs over to help them instead. The sucky thing is, Larry faked his injury and pulls Louis to the ground like “lol got ya” and wins the race. Louis stays behind and comforts Trevor, who has an actual sprained ankle. What a sweetheart. Louis is cracking jokes (”Talk about the agony of da-feet. Please, no standing ovations.”) and making Trevor laugh pretty hard. So, Trevor casually says “You’re funny.” :’) This time it means so much more coming from someone who’s not his sister.

Even though Larry won, the entire crowd is cheering “LOUIS, LOUIS!” for his good deed. Larry is fuming.

The final scene is a sweet mirror talk. I think I’ve mentioned enough how much I love and miss these. This one is a favorite of mine:

"The best thing that happened to me today? A kid called me funny. And as much as I like being on the track team and hanging out with my brother... I like being funny more."

This is so heartwarming. Because it’s obvious that comedy is truly his "thing." It’s nice to see him accept that. (Even though he still struggles later on.) This is another parallel with Shia, I think. He has suuuch a natural gift for comedy. I want him to embrace it more these days!!! *sigh* Plz god.

Louis also ends up getting Student of the Month and his picture is adorable lol

I really, really like this episode.

I feel like most people remember this one pretty well. If you watched Disney Channel during Even Stevens’ original run, then you most definitely remember a slew of quotes. Its quotability is the main reason I’ve ranked this towards the higher end of the list. I also have a soft spot for this episode in general and there’s some nice character development as well.

Like I’ve mentioned before, Disney hammers the first few episodes of a show into the freaking ground. I swear I’ve seen the same few episodes of Andi Mack and Raven’s Home on TV every single day since they premiered. That’s basically what they did with Even Stevens, too. It’s part of what makes Season 1 particularly memorable at times. There really isn’t much that I dislike about this one. Like most S1 episodes, it’s just a little slower. Since it’s super early in the series, the overall plot feels very Late 90′s Disney Channel. Similar to All About Yvette. (I feel like I bring that episode up constantly lol) There’s just a certain pure, old school, generic quality to it that simply cannot be accurately explained and somehow makes me feel a little neutral about it.

That being said, this is only EPISODE 2!!!! Considering that, it’s top-notch honestly. Right out the gate, we’re getting to see more sides to Louis Stevens. Naïve, arrogant/head in the clouds, caring, funny. And of course, we ultimately see what a good kid at heart he is. And boy, do I love to see that. :D

Thanks fo’ readin.

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