#ellipsis95

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Perfection... possibility... commitment...

Her: It's possible, isn't it? It's possible that you could meet somebody who's perfect for you even though you're committed to somebody else.

Him: No, no, see, I think if you're committed to somebody, you don't allow yourself to find perfection in someone else.

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Remedy

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Swinging and Diving

Today was a HOT day but a relaxing day.

Church today was great and leading the music is always so rewarding.

Went to a friend’s grad party and got a special encouraging word there from one of the church members who’s done worship in his years. In short words in summary he told me if I am to want God, I will worship him. If I am to lead a people, lead from my heart. If I am hurting and going through the motions, then go through the motions. I am anointed and set apart for God. ❤️

Afterwards, Took a lil spontaneous trip to a trail to a rope swing with friends near Redondo.

It was an adrenaline rush. Gosh, I love summer and the people I spend it with.

I’m doing this post from my phone so not sure if I can do multiple photos and videos in one post.

Continuing, we stopped by our local beach/boardwalk.

First our friend “N” took the first dive off the boardwalk followed by two more of our friends haha! I would’ve joined in but I can’t swim.

I’m still so sweaty while I’m laying on my couch at home from this hot day.

Goodnight.

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Be still… Your eyes… Breathe…

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I need some change ... Oh boy... I need change.... 

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It’s Over

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Unnamed No. 2

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I want...

I always want to venture for firsts. So simple. So innocent. So breathtaking

So memorable...

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I am not...

defeated

a failure

incomplete

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Focus

What am I focusing on?... What am I holding on to?... What am I magnifying?... What am I giving power to?...

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Never again...

Shall I let the darkness overcome…

Shall I let fear paralyze me…

Will I not listen…

Will I stop…

…

..

.

..

…

I made too many promises I did not keep I stayed up long nights crying to sleep But in this season His word and promises keep me strong So holding onto my sin, guilt, and shame will only tell me my wrongs.

...

…

Is this a promise I’m making now by saying “never again…”?

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Oxygen(It's You) You bring me so much life... Every breathe comes from You...

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07.04.2017 Happy Fourth of July

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I'm falling on my knees... Offering all of me... Jesus, you're all this heart Is living for...

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I'm not done.

And I won't give up.

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Encourage Yourself

Say: I love myself I am strong I have a clean slate I am forgiven

What you are: You are loved You are stronger You have a clean slate You are forgiven

So…

I know without a doubt I’m not backing down from the life that has been given to me. I know what’s good for me. To know that I have an awesome, faithful God who gives me a whole lot of peace. It gives me an even great sense of hope knowing that I am forgiven by Him and by others… that I have a clean slate….

The hardest part of this season was that… I hurt… I hurt myself… and I had hurt others… I had good intentions… but stumbled... I said sorry again and again, asked for forgiveness... but I couldn’t be near for them to hear... and I had done enough... I played it over and over in my head… Tired...

The days… the months… even reminisced of the years… I can’t continue feeling guilty of my mistakes because I truly know I don’t need it in my life. It’s not what God wants hovering, my shame haunting over me.

Last night was when I truly felt at peace with my self. That I needed to love myself. I worshiped. I loved. I am stronger.

What I did learn about myself was my habit of keeping “records” of things; the good and the bad of my decisions and what came out of them. Like a long list. But what I did with it was how to filter them out And how to organize them.

A couple of things I heard that I’ve been reflecting on: “Is your heart happy?” (06/28/2017) & “If you’re gonna love someone, you need to love yourself first.” (I’m not sure of the date but it was probably the first week of April or so)

I’m preparing myself whatever God has coming to me because now I’m just too tired of relying on only me.

Two others things I always care to remember: “God is never finished with you.” & “My definition of Love is being able to see the hope and good through the bad.”

So I guess my little ending point to me is: I’m not afraid of myself. And I love those close to me. I’m not afraid to love. I’m listening. And I’m still here to be a light. To be a comfort. I’m done hurting myself and others. Show you still love by your actions and how you’re bringing yourself up. I am happy. God is good. All the time.

*sorry for you expert writer’s & reading. I’m practicing in my writing. **Maybe I should post on my writer’s cafe.