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charminglygrouped · 2 months ago

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What's the deal with still-rooms?

Occasionally, in modern fiction set in the Regency era, you'll read of a female character making her own perfume, rose-water, or lavender-water by distilling flower petals (or something of that nature) in the still-room. In this context of course "still" is a shortening of "distill."

On doing some research, I think this is anachronistic. It's true that still-room offices such as making perfumes and medicines fell to the lady of the house and her daughters from at least the 17th century (1600s) and through the early 18th century (1700s)—but not much later.

Because of this shift, the figure of "the still-room" is used in writing of the 18th and 19th centuries to express anxieties about female behaviour and women's "place" inside and outside the home. But more on that later.

History

1600s - 1740s: perfumes, medicines, cordials, waters, spirits

In the 17th and early 18th centuries, many English manors contained still-rooms. Stephen Schmidt and Elaine Leong describe the contents of these rooms:

The stillroom was equipped with apparatus for distilling spirits, wines, syrups, and waters [...] and a waist-high charcoal brazier, or chafing dish, for procedures that required heating. The stillroom was attached to a stove room, a small chamber outfitted with slatted shelves and some sort of furnace, to which items were remanded that required drying or that needed to be kept dry during storage.

The 1696 book The accomplished ladies rich closet of rarities, or the ingenious gentlewoman & servant maid's delightfull companion, gives directions for "The Art of Diſtilling" (which includes recipes for perfumes and medicines); "Making Artificial Wines"; "Making Syrups"; and more.

Women would keep records of their recipes for various medicines (in the forms of cordials, pills, salves, poultices, &c.) in recipe books that were passed down for generations. Jayne Elisabeth Archer argues that "The stillroom (or 'distallorie') and the manuscript receipt book were two of the most important sites of female creativity in early modern England, and yet they have been largely forgotten to history" (p. 212).

The 1736 Dictionarium Domeſticum, Being a New and Compleat Houſehold Dictionary; For the Uſe both of City and Country provides instructions for distilling ale and creating medicinal decoctions, including some that claim to "provoke [...] womens Menſes" (i.e., potentially abortifacients!).

1750s - 1890s: pickles, preserves, desserts, tea, coffee

By the mid-18th century, however, still-rooms were no longer associated primarily with perfumes, spirits, and medicines. In Miss Sophia Lee's “The Chapter of Accidents” (1750), the days when culinary still-room tasks such as distilling spirits were considered as genteel accomplishments are described as belonging to the past. Governor Harcourt has kept his daughter uneducated and doing tasks which ought to be considered too low for her; when he says he means to let Lord Woodville marry her, Lord Glenmore replies:

Lord G. I thank your intention, brother; but am far from wishing the chief accomplishments of Woodville's lady should be the making cream cheeses, goats whey, and elder wine. Gov. H. Let me tell your lordship, women were never better than when those were the chief accomplishments.

What, then, did people use still-rooms for at this time? In short, they were considered as a branch of the kitchen, used in large estates to preserve food (by pickling, canning, making jellies, &c.), make light articles for the table (such as confections), and prepare coffee and tea.

A fictional biography written in 1754 describes culinary tasks being carried out in the still-room:

As great Care was taken to preſerve his Complexion, he was ſeldom ſuffered to ſtir out of the Nurſery or Still-room, where he became ſo great a Proficient in Female Knowledge, that, before he was Fifteen, he was deeply ſkilled in the Doctrine and Uſes of Pickles, Conſerves, and Jellies; underſtood the Value of Cambrics, Muflins, &c. could knit a Pair of Garters [...].

The Dictionary of Daily Wants, published c. 1858, tells us:

With cooking, generally the housekeeper has little concern. Her care of the table is confined chiefly to pickling and preserving; and in preparing confectionery, making ice-creams, arranging the dessert, &c. These preparations are all performed in the still-room, and with the assistance of the still-room maid.

Beeton's Book of household management (1861) says that distilling in still-rooms is mostly a thing of the past, but claims that some households still do it:

The still-room was formerly much more in vogue than at present; for in days of "auld lang syne," the still was in constant requisition for the supply of sweet-flavoured waters for the purposes of cookery, scents and aromatic substances used in the preparation of the toilet, and cordials in cases of accidents and illness. There are some establishments, however, in which distillation is still carried on, and in these, the still-room maid has her old duties to perform.

And The Century Dictionary, published c. 1890, gives us two definitions:

still-room, n. 1. An apartment for distilling; a domestic laboratory. — 2. A room connected with the kitchen, where coffee, tea, and the like are made, and the finer articles supplied to the table are made, stored, and prepared for use.

These tasks were not considered appropriate work for genteel women, but were rather the province of poor relations and servants. A servant in "The Chapter of Accidents" shows this change in attitude, with a gentleman disdaining to enter the still-room:

Mrs. W. Why, methinks you are grown mighty grand, or you would have come to the still-room to ask.

So, in the late 18th and 19th centuries, still-rooms still exist, and they are still used; but they are usually used by the housekeeper (and, in larger establishments, the still-room maid) for the making of pickles, preserves, desserts, tea, and coffee. The head cook and kitchen-maids are then employed in the kitchen with the more regular work of cooking.

(At the turn of the 19th century, we also see indications of still-rooms in estates being used to distill spirits. An account of the estate of James Moore, Esq., which is presented as very large, well-managed, and prosperous, reads:

His yard contains besides the necessary stabling for his horses, waggon, and cart lodges, barns, &c. a counting house with a dry warehouse attached to it; near to these is a large still room, with five copper stills, and without this room is a large horse mill to throw up the liquor into the back. These stills will run off 20 tuns of spirit or oil in 24 hours.

Distillers might also have their own businesses. See this 1806 account of a "distiller" of "liquors" having a "distillery" or "still-room" adjoining his dwelling. I think this "still-room" is quite a different creature from the one which ladies used to distill perfumes in, though.)

Looking back

Throughout the late 18th century and 19th century, any references I can find to still-room tasks as involving distilling herbs or making medicines are used to indicate that action is taking place in the past.

References in fiction

For example: a novel published in 1799 (The witch, and the maid of honour) uses still-room medicines to show that we are reading about the time of Queen Elizabeth. When a young woman's ear is scratched by a cat, the advice is to "take her into the ftill-room, and tell Vincent [the housekeeper] to put fomething to it"; they go to the housekeeper's room, and Vincent "[takes] down a vial" of some medicine (from her room or from the still-room, it's not clear) to use.

In 1849, Anne Manning published a novel about John Milton's wife, which she set in 1643: it contained 17th-century spellings, an imitation of a 17th-century typeface, and several references to a young woman performing still-room tasks (a child "came in with her Lap full of Butter-burs, the which [Mary] was glad to ſee, as Mother eſteemes them a ſovereign Remedie 'gainſt the Plague"; Mary lays "them out on the Stille-room Floor"; later, she spends “a full Houre in the ftille Room, turning over ever foe manie Trays full of dried Herbs and Flower-leaves,” as a prospective suitor speaks to her father).

Again, in 1857, a novel with archaic spellings (The Noble Traytour: A Chronicle), set in the court of Queen Elizabeth and featuring knights, earl-marshalls and such, gives us an emotional sick-room scene, which contains the sentence:

As for Dame Elizabeth, ſhe was in the ſtill-room brewing a caudle poſſit of grewel, for which a nice [i.e. neat, clean] maiden was grating ginger.

And an 1861 novel entitled My daughter Marjorie: 17th centuary, also stylised so as to resemble something published in the 1600s, describes an idealised young woman thustly:

She hath a ſweet voice, and toucheth the virginals with much ſkill, and is very apt in the ſtill room. She affirmeth there will be a superabundance of marygolds for curing in the fall, which is well.

References in nonfiction

Non-fictional writing also describes the making of perfumes and medicines in still-rooms as a 16th-, 17th-, or very early 18th-century thing. An 1812 description of “an Elizabethan country house” describes distilling in still rooms as a decidedly outdated habit for gentlewomen:

Among the rooms on that floor was one called the still-room, an apartment where the ladies of old much amused themselves in distilling waters and cordials, as well for the use of themselves and of their poor neighbours, as for several purposes of cookery.

Cassell’s Domestic Dictionary, published c. 1850, defines the term thusly:

Still-room.— The still-room in the old sense does not now exist. In the reign of Queen Anne [1702-1714] it was quite a common institution for an English lady to have what was called her still-room, in which were distilled perfumes, such as rose and lavender water, and cordials intended to be used medicinally for the benefit of the family, or to be distributed charitably amongst the poor. Even at the present time, in some large establishments, the still-room is to be found, though very different in the arrangement of its work to that of old times. In modern still-rooms the tea and coffee are sometimes made that are needed for the use of the family.

In The merrie days of England; sketches of the olden time we find a quote from Macaulay describing the lifestyle of country ladies and gentlemen in the 17th century:

The ladies of the houſe, whoſe buſineſs it had commonly been to cook the repaſt, retired as foon as the diſhes had been devoured, and left the gentlemen to their ale and tobacco. [...] [The country gentleman's] wife and daughter were in taſte and acquirements below a houſekeeper or a ſtill-room maid of the preſent day. They ſtitched and ſpun, brewed gooſeberry wine, cured marigolds, and made the cruſt for the veniſon paſt.

What does it all mean?

If still-rooms aren't used by ladies to distill things for medicinal or culinary purposes anymore, why is this practice so often referenced? Why is this particular usage of this particular room still present in the cultural consciousness, if you will, of the readers of 18th- and 19th-century England? Why is it iconic enough that it can be used to signal to a reader, "we're in the 16th or 17th century now"?

I think it comes down to a nostalgia about the (supposed) feminine behaviour of the past. This nostalgia was already present in the mid-18th century, and would continue until at least the mid-19th. To return to "The Chapter of Accidents":

Lord G. I [...] am far from wishing the chief accomplishments of Woodville's lady should be the making cream cheeses, goats whey, and elder wine. Gov. H. Let me tell your lordship, women were never better than when those were the chief accomplishments. Cream cheeses, quotha! no, no, making cream faces [that is, giving birth] is an accomplishment which the belles of these days oftener excel in.

In Governor Harcourt's opinion, the ladies of "these days" (i.e. the 1750s) are too educated, too divorced from homely household duties, too uselessly fine, and perhaps too mannish.

Of course, any idea about European genteel femininity is also perforce an idea about race; proper "femininity" always entails and defines "whiteness." Gov. H. puns that women these days are producing white ("cream") children, and yet are no longer capable of performing the necessary tasks to feed their (white) children, or tend to the practical upkeep of their (white / European / civilised / appropriately domestic) homes. White gentlewomen must be constrained to domestic servitude because they are the ones who create and police the environment in which the white race is created, raised, and educated; theirs is the power to advance or degrade the white race.

On the flip side, degraded, improper, abusive, over-sexualised relations between the sexes are what supposedly mark out non-European cultures as uncivilised, lower / lesser, an anterior stage in the evolution of humanity, &c. White women have to do [insert whatever the present writer wants them to do], or else we all might as well be savages, and so on and so forth.

But to return to examples of the figure of "the still-room" indexing the idea of "feminine accomplishment of past centuries." The Edinburgh Review, no. 222, for 1859 contains an article entitled "Female Industry," which begins with a history of female labour, and moves to consider the question of what kind of work women (including working-class women) ought to be doing today. The author complains about the completeness of the change that had taken place over the past “three centuries,” such that genteel women could no longer cook:

[W]e have therefore every reason to believe that our wives and sisters would be no worse for understanding the business of the kitchen. […] Well! is the art to be lost? or will an effort be made to recover it ? Why is it not a branch of female industry now to give such instruction, instead of leaving those departments of knowledge a blank […]? It may not be necessary or desirable for young ladies to spend so many hours in the still-room, among conserves and quackeries, as the damsels of three centuries ago, when kitchen cookery was gross and wholesale; and it might be better that they should learn from their mothers how to order and superintend the administration of food; but if their mothers have not the requisite knowledge, skill and ideas, it would be a great blessing to have a professional instructress within reach.

For this author, there's something about the still-room habits of the Elizabethans that went too far: their medicines didn't actually work, their practices were not scientific or modern enough, women were in them for too many hours at a time, &c.; but there is something about them that we should be trying to recapture.

The nostalgia of The merrie days of England is, as the title implies, more straightforwardly positive. The book opens:

How pleaſant are the ideas which are associated with "the merrie days of England;" and how ſtrikingly do they contraſt with our experience of the preſent time! Turn aſide for a moment from the records of the miſdeeds of haughty Plantagenets; the deſolating wars of York and Lancafter; the terrible misfortunes of the Stuarts [...]; and even amid theſe darker ſcenes of our hiſtory, abundant evidence is afforded that England was in truth "a merrie England."

It's very unusual, by the way, to see a long s (ſ) this late (1857)! Unlike the novels described earlier, this work isn't literally trying to present itself as something that was printed in the 17th century; but we still see its nostalgia come through in its typography.

In short, I think "the still-room" is often a kind of synecdoche (a metaphor in which the part stands in for the whole) for "the accomplishments of genteel women of prior centuries." The author can put this metaphor to use in whatever argument about female accomplishment that they like. The figure of the still-room, then, is one through which opinions, anxieties, laments, and advice about modern femininity and modern women's behaviour may be expressed.

Floor plans

So much for what was done in a still-room, and what they symbolised. Where was this room?

Sometimes, a still-room is described as being a room among other rooms on the lower levels (below ground) of a house; on other estates, it is a detached building.

Attached

Palladio Londinensis; or, the London art of building (1755) gives, among its list "Of Architectonical Axioms and Analogies," the following advice:

That the Kitchen be ſpacious and light, and as remote from the Parlour as poſſible, and to be under Ground; as alſo the Pantry, Bake-Houſe, Still-Room, Buttery, Dairy, and Servants Offices in general.

The plans for a "Villa, designed for the Right Honourable Silver Oliver" in 1789, has the following rooms in the "Basement Floor":

a. Butler's room: b. Servants' chamber: c. Servants' chamber: d. Wine, Ale, and Beer cellars: e. Room for bruſhing clothes, &c.: f. Servants' Hall: g. Houſekeeper's room: h. Still room: i. Situation for the Kitchen, Scullery, Larder, &c.

Holkham Hall, in the 1750s, had a horse-powered "pump" (illustrated at top left) that would bring water up to fill cisterns on the roof, from which it could flow as needed to the "laundry and dairy in the south-east wing, the kitchen in the north-east wing and the stillroom along the east side of the main house."

Detached

This seems less common, but still-rooms might also be a in a separate building.

A 1797 notice for the auction of a "SUPERB and CAPITAL BRICK MANSION, called GIDEA HALL, fitted up with great Neatneſs and Elegance, compriſing all the neceſſary Apartments tor a large Family," contains the following description:

The DETACHED OFFICES conſi��t of a Brewhouſe and Waſh-houſe, Laundry, and Bed-Rooms over for Maid-Servants; a Larder, a Still-Room, a Dog-Kennel, a Dairy, and Boiling-houſe, an Ice-houſe, a Dove-Cote, good Stabling for 25 Horſes, and Standing for Six Carriages, all lofted over, with Saddle Rooms, and Bed-Rooms for Men-Servants; a Court-Yard paved, a Drying-Yard, a Fowl-Yard, with ſuitable Buildings […]

Windows?

All of the rooms in that first floor plan have windows, but not all of those in the second one do. Dickens's "The Schoolboy's Story" describes Jane (a "wardrobe woman" who "took care of the boxes"; a "very nice young woman," "neat and cheerful," "comfortable and kind," tends to the schoolboys emotionally—so we can connect this again to ideals of femininity) "look[ing] out of her still-room window." If things have to be dried and boiled in this room, it makes sense that it ought to be well-aired.

So can I write my Regency-era heroine distilling things in a still-room?

Sure, if you want to make a reference to the idealised femininity of past (i.e., pre-Regency) eras, or make the point that your heroine (or her household) is eccentric or retro.

If not, I might suggest: sewing, knitting, tambour, embroidery, netting, flower arranging, the study of botany (she might keep a little notebook in which to draw or paint botanical illustrations or press flowers), drawing, painting, or simply taking a walk.

#stillroom #history #Jane Austen #Regency romance #Regency era #Town and Country

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msmargaretmurry · 1 month ago

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hello tumblr! i read a lot this year and i want to talk about the epic highs and lows of my 2024 reading list!!

i went through all the books i read and divided them into four-ish categories — fiction, nonfiction not for school, nonfiction for school, and rereads, plus two poetry collections that didn't fit in any of those categories, and now i am going to talk a little bit about my favs and least favs, because i like doing a little end-of-year reflection. i was going to do top five in each category but instead i am doing my top however many i think meaningfully represents my favorites in that category. also these are new TO ME, not necessarily new in 2024. i have never in my life been caught up on reading the lastest book releases and i am not going to start now.

top five six nonfiction reads of 2024

There's Always This Year: On Basketball and Ascension by Hanif Adburraqib — the thing is, if hanif writes a book it's gonna be in my top reads of the year. that's just the rule. loved what he did with the structure of this book, love how he uses language, love how thoughtfully and poignantly he writes about everything from sports to social justice.

The Wolves of K Street: The Secret History of How Big Money Took Over Big Government by Brody Mullins and Luke Mullins — one of those books that did make be feel even more deeply depressed than usual about the united states and the us government specifically, but deeply researches and very readable, put so much into context for me about various horrible men whose backstories i was not totally aware of.

Doppelganger: A Trip into the Mirror World by Naomi Klein — this book is excellent all the way through, but what really surprised me was that even in sections on topics where i felt like it probably wouldn't have much new to offer me (like, i am already SO aware of how the people who think vaccines cause autism work) it still did give me some new perspective or context.

A Ghost in the Throat by Doireann Ní Ghríofa — a gorgeous and haunting and unique book that is so hard to describe. it is autofiction about womanhood and motherhood but it's also about history and poetry and translation and the silences of the archive.

In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado — i read so much of this in a single sitting because i was like girl i can't put this book down until you get out of there!!!!!!!!!!! oof. OOF.

Number Go Up: Inside Crypto's Wild Rise and Staggering Fall by Zeke Faux — i find crypto so hard to read about because it is deliberately convoluted but this book was not only well-written and readable but VERY funny. faux feels so aware of how so much of the crypto enterprise is built on speculation and wild greed and he treats it accordingly.

Floating Coast: An Environmental History of the Bering Strait by Bathsheba Demuth — obviously this book made me depressed about what capitalism and human industry and greed had done to the land and wildlife in this region but also it's so beautifully written and imo super interesting.

top five nonfiction for school reads of 2024

(i have these in a separate section because i am so aware that academic texts are not written for a popular audience but sometimes they are still really good and i rec them to people anyway.)

Necropolis: Disease, Power, and Capitalism in the Cotton Kingdom by Kathryn Olivarius — reading this book, centered in antebellum new orleans, about the politics and economy of public health and widespread disease in the wake of so much public/policy failure around covid was uhhhhh harrowing. but it's VERY good and imo very readable.

Empire of Cotton: A Global History by Sven Beckert — reading this book added important new dimensions to the way that i understand global capitalism.

Late Victorian Holocausts: El Niño Famines and the Making of the Third World by Mike Davis — reading this book added important new dimensions to the way that i understand imperialism and colonialism.

Fordlandia: The Rise and Fall of Henry Ford's Forgotten Jungle City by Greg Grandin — this is the most ~for a popular audience~ of my favorite school books this year. whomst among us doesn't like reading about a very nasty very rich man barging confidently into a huge new venture and failing miserably. unfortunately you will also leave feeling furious about the environmental and human impacts of said venture.

other stuff!

i read two poetry collections this year and loved them both:

What You Want: Poems by Maureen N. McLane

The World Keeps Ending, and the World Goes On by Franny Choi

my rereads this year were all part of my ongoing goal of revisiting all the fantasy books i loved as a teen/young adult that have been sitting on my bookshelf for years, which has been such a cozy and enriching endeavor for me, especially revisiting robin hobb's books. soon i will get to the point in her realm of the elderlings series where the rereading ends and the new reading begins (i dropped off after the tawny man trilogy in my youth due to reasons) and i am so excited for me.

also, these were not rereads, but i read tamora pierce's alanna quartet for the first time this year and had such a fun time. obviously they're written for a much younger audience than me, but that's fine! i read a few of pierce's books as a kid but was never super into them like some of my friends, so it was really nice to explore these books that are so meaningful and were so formative to people i love. i would love to do more of that next year.

fourth wing — it was so hyped and i truly thought it would at least be bad in a fun way if it wasn't good but instead i found it to be so bad the only reason i finished it is because i read it in my downtime at a work conference when my brain was only half-functioning anyway. bad inconsistent worldbuilding; bad inconsistent characterization; transparent boring plot and relationships. good for the people who inexplicably love it because i'm sure they're having a great time but MAN i hated it.

least favorite reads of 2024

i don't love spending tons of time harping on media that i think sucks in public, but i do love picking apart books that don't work for me in private with my friends, so i am putting these here in case friends want to pick them apart with me 😂

mister hockey by lia riley — i joked that i read this whole book just to see if gordie howe showed up but honestly i was pretty unimpressed that he actually didn't show up even once. your typical bad hockey romance problems (this author doesn't seem to know much about hockey, etc) plus deeply cringey writing plus weird breaches of journalistic ethics that the author does not seem to realize are weird and bad = not a book for beckys.

my next two least favorite books this year were very very small indie books so i am not putting them on blast here, lmao.

accountable: the true story of a racist social media account and the teenagers whose lives it changed by dashka slater — this book was so frustrating and upsetting not only because the subject matter is frustrating and upsetting, but none of the non-victim teens and parents seemed to learn a damn thing and the author did not interrogate that at all. ugh.

reading goals in 2025

my reading goal each year is just a flat 50 books of any kind, so we're doing that again! i want to do a better job reading books i own but haven't read before buying more books but we will see how that goes for me. i might make a spreadsheet about it, which will actually help me 😂 but broadly, i want to read more genre fiction, especially fantasy and sci-fi. i am being very easy on myself on the reading front and not setting any super lofty goals about what or how much to read because grad school brain means i will read what my brain will accept, but i am very much looking forward to another year of reading! and always accepting book recs!

#ms.post #2024 in review #resolution: more writing long personal posts on tumblr like this is livejournal dot com in 2025

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jinx-xxed · 1 month ago

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hey love, I found your acc really randomly and I’m in love with your writings oml. If you feel comfortable with it, I want to request a commandmentleader!meliodas x goddess!Reader from 3000 years ago ( female or not idk) so reader basically is Elisabeth but with for example her actively fighting or something like that. ( I’m sorry if it’s not really detailed, englisch is not my first language.) 🤍

Heart of Battle

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆ .。.:*

A/N; Hello hello, thank you so much for the request!! I’m so sorry it’s taken me this long to get around to it omg 😭😭 I’m very glad you like my work and I hope you enjoy this one!! Also sorry if any plot points are wonky, it’s been a while since I’ve had a refresher 🫠

Summary; Taking matters into your own hands sometimes isn’t the best idea.

Content; Goddess reader, Stigma era Meliodas, first Holy War, angst to soft fluff, battle, blood and injury, protective Meliodas, you disobeying orders, fighting demons, Meliodas saves you, he cleans you up afterwards

Wc; 1.9k

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆ .。.:*

“Where is she?”

The flaps of the commanders tent open to reveal Meliodas, his brows scrunched with confusion as he peers around the space, clearly looking for someone. His great sword is still strapped to his back, fresh from a recent battle he won to the surprise of nobody. The three generals inside the tent—two humans and a fairy—are gathered around a map scattered with different little pieces to represent their armies and the ones of their enemies. They’re spread out in such a way that it’s hard to tell if one or the other has the upper hand.

“Who, sir?” One of the human generals asks.

The other smacks his breastplate, a knowing smirk on his face. “The goddess, obviously.”

Meliodas nods. “I’ve looked all over camp but I don’t see her. Do you know where she is?”

The fairy hums. “I think last I heard she was heading to some place in the west. Around here?” He floats down towards the map and puts his finger on a little village. One that’s completely surrounded by dark purple figures.

Meliodas feels something in his chest sink as he looks at that map. The area the fairy pointed to had been blocked off by Stigma troops because it became so overrun with demons that nobody was able to get in—it was too dangerous. He remembers how upset you’d been when the order to not go near the west had been announced earlier that day.

“There are still people there! People who need our help. I can do it, I can save them.” You had protested.

You’d been shot down instantly. Everyone told you it wasn’t worth the risk and that you’d die if you tried, including him. He’d made you promise you wouldn’t attempt anything before he left on a recon mission. You looked him in the eyes and told him what he wanted to hear; he should’ve known better than to trust your word. You’ve always been too kind, too willing to put others before yourself, and now you’ve done it again. Perhaps for the last time.

Fear surges up inside of Meliodas so fast he feels dizzy. He curses loudly before turning on his heel and running out of the tent. As soon as he’s outside, his wings of darkness are unfolding behind him and he’s blasting into the sky. He feels the worried gazes of comrades down below, wondering what sent him into such a frenzy, but he’s gone so quickly that no one can linger on it.

He’s never doubted your abilities, he knows how strong you are. But he also knows when and where to pick battles and he knows that this is far too much for you. The closer he gets, the more he can feel you, his second half. He can feel how much you’re struggling, how quickly your strength is diminishing. It makes him use his power to boost him forward, the wind blasting against his body.

He just hopes he’s not too late.

» ☆ «

Blood is sticky on your skin.

You have no idea what’s yours and what’s the demons’ anymore.

Massive, hulking bodies lay strewn all around you and yet when one goes down, it seems there’s two more to replace it. You don’t know how long you’ve been fighting for, your mind instead focused solely on the survivors that huddle in the safety of a small ditch behind you. There’s only four of them—a man, a woman, and two children. None of them are related but they’re the only ones who managed to survive the massacre that happened throughout the area.

You wish you could’ve gotten here sooner, that you could’ve done more. You wish Stigma would’ve been more generous with their troops instead of giving up immediately, deeming this spot unworthy of their help. You also wish you were stronger so that the endless onslaught of demons wasn’t so daunting and you weren’t on the brink of collapse.

You can’t even escape anymore, your wings long since cut and torn, blood turning the white feathers red. Your only choice now is to stay and fight until whatever bitter end is going to meet you and hope the demons will be too focused on your corpse to notice the survivors.

You explode a demon in a flash of golden light, sweeping an arc of power through another. Their roars are deafening against your ears, their steps thundering against the ground beneath you and making your already shaky stance even shakier.

You know you should’ve listened, everybody told you the risks weren’t worth it. But leaving innocent people to die at the hands of the demons without even trying to save them didn’t sit right with you. You’d only told a few when you left, word no doubt spreading quickly across the camp. You were gone by the time anyone could stop you, heading out entirely on your own on what many would call a suicide mission. Even Meliodas had told you to stay put earlier, giving you that stern look of his as he did.

You have no doubt that he’s angry at you and you wonder if he’s back from his own mission yet. If he’s learned of your fate.

You’re torn from your thoughts when one misstep puts you in the hands of a gray demon. You let out a choked yell as the thing roughly grabs you by your wings, bunching them together and crushing them further. You wriggle and squirm as you’re lifted higher and higher, your chest heaving with the effort and pain. You try so desperately to ignite your powers but all you get is a few golden sparks at your fingertips. You’ve used everything you have.

Tears mix with the blood and soot on your face, blurring your vision so you can barely even see the thing about to deliver your death. It stares at you curiously, its teeth clicking together at the prospect of a tasty meal. Some of the demons around it grumble and whine, wanting some for themselves. It’s like being dangled above a pit of hungry lions, all ready to tear you apart.

Just as the gray demon’s mouth opens, its attention shifts to something in the sky. There’s a surge of dark power so strong you can feel it in your core, the hair along your arms rising. Then, in the blink of an eye, the demon that holds you is split in half. It lets out a guttural, pitiful moan as it begins to fall, its clawed hand releasing you at last. You barely even register the fact that you’re falling, your consciousness hardly holding on from the pain drumming throughout your body. You just manage to see all the other demons around you suffer the same fate—a clean slash through their middles that sizzle afterwards with black fire.

You prepare for the ground to meet you, to obliterate the rest of your bones, but you fall into familiar, strong arms instead. You manage to blink through your tears and look up to see Meliodas, his green eyes full of concern while he takes in your sorry state. “Just in time, huh?” He says gently, a sort of sad expression on his face. You know how much he hates seeing you hurt, and how much he hates the fact you did this without him. He sighs. “We need to get out of here before the demons regroup.”

“Wait- the survivors-“ you choke out, no longer having the strength to do anything else.

Meliodas turns to look at the four peeking their heads out of the ditch who found safety in the fact that the roars of the demons have finally gone quiet. They seem wary of him when he walks up to them and he finds he has little patience when you’re actively dying in his arms. He bluntly tells them of a safe path to the east, one that will lead them to a camp that’s full of soldiers and other survivors. Once he at least makes sure they’re heading the right way, he jumps into the sky and begins his flight back to the Stigma base.

Meliodas holds you tightly while being careful of your multitude of injuries. His warmth is a welcome comfort, one that allows you to relax just the slightest bit.

As soon as he lands back in the Fairy Kings Forest, he’s demanding a healer and buckets of water. When people see your sorry state, they’re quick to listen. You’re brought to a quiet, secluded area lush with soft flower beds and shade provided by the trees, away from the hustle and bustle of the rest of the camp. Meliodas lays you down gently, your head propped up on his legs while a fellow goddess kneels down beside you. A soft golden glow emanates from her hands, spreading warmth throughout your body as her powers slowly but surely heal you.

Your breathing becomes easier, the massive gashes along your limbs steadily close. Meliodas tries to wipe off as much of the blood and grime as he can in the meantime, using gentle movements with a warm rag as you lay there. It’s all very peaceful, a needed respite after the hell you’d gone through.

You’re not sure how much time passes before the goddess is finished. You only notice when the hum of her powers disappears. “There, she should be fully healed. She’ll just need plenty of rest and nutrients in order to make a full recovery.”

“I’ll make sure it gets done. Thank you.” Meliodas replies with a nod. The goddess gives a small bow before taking her leave.

There’s an uneasy silence that stretches between the two of you, heavy with the words waiting to be said. You keep your eyes closed as if that will make it go away. You’re more than content with lying there in the flowers and forgetting how much of a failure you were today. But that’s not an option, of course.

“I told you not to go there.” Meliodas begins, his voice uneasy with his emotions. “Everyone knew it was too dangerous. Including you.”

You huff a breath through your nose, finally opening your eyes to meet his. “Mel… you know I couldn’t just leave it. We need to try and help everyone we can during this war or else there won’t be anything left.”

“That territory is basically like a dead zone because of how overrun it is. You were insane to go there alone for only four people.” He insists.

“Yes but that’s four people who will get to live another day, who may make the decision to join the cause and help us.” You retort. You take his calloused hand into yours, his thumb instantly rubbing along the back of your hand soothingly. “I know it was reckless of me and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have worried everyone- worried you like that.”

He looks at you for a moment, tracing your features with his eyes. He sighs in defeat and you smile, knowing you’ve won. He leans down to kiss you, the messy blond strands of his hair tickling your face. The kiss is quick and sweet, simply a confirmation that you’re still here. He straightens himself and holds your cheeks lovingly in his hands. His head tilts. “Promise me next time you decide to do something so stupid you’ll bring me along?”

You laugh, taking one of his hands and bringing his knuckles to your lips. “I promise.”

#nanatsu no taizai #nanatsu no taizai x reader #nanatsu no taizai Meliodas #meliodas x reader #seven deadly sins x reader #seven deadly sins #seven deadly sins Meliodas #7ds #7ds x reader #jinx-xxed asks

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kingcons · 4 months ago

Text

The substance is the most upsetting movie of the year to me. Full disclosure, this isn’t any ground breaking stuff you’re about to read, just me writing down my thoughts. Most of which have probably been said before by now. But it you want to read my ramblings, here ya go:

Spoilers for the whole movie below. If you haven’t seen this movie and like extreme horror (specifically body horror) please watch it. It’s fantastic and possibly my new favorite movie.

Sue and Elizabeth both deserved a chance at happiness. That is the thing that kills me about that movie. Under all the gore and grimness and camp it’s just so fucking sad.

Anything one does to the other is just them doing it to themselves. You can try to kill the part of you that hurts or fails or is ugly or weak or older or more scarred or not as nice - but it’s part of you. You are one, as the movie says over and over. This is such a tragic movie to me.

Aging is body horror. This is partly because of societal pressures and toxic beauty standards, but it’s also a slow crawl to death. It’s watching something you need to live break down and fall apart in front of your eyes and not being able to permanently fix it. Death is an inevitability that comes for us all, but aging can be worse for some. When we die, whatever may happen to our soul or if anything even happens at all, it’ll happen whether we want it to or not. There’s nothing to fear in the inevitable, but there’s also no reason to rush what may be your only shot at existence. And if you do want to live a long filled life, you have to accept that aging is a part of it.

Elisabeth being so desperate for perfection and for her career back is a story that’s as old as time. It’s not really her fault she was pushed to use the substance, but it is her responsibility that she fully carried out making a new ‘better’ version of herself. She doesn’t really have any friends or family more than that, just a big luxury apartment with a giant picture of herself at her peak. It stares at her all the time, and it’s what she tried to be everyday. But even as Sue, suddenly that wasn’t even enough. She needed to be better and more beautiful.

It broke my heart when Elisabeth tried to kill sue despite how she ended up looking. She didn’t care anymore, she just wanted to live as pain free as she could. And it was a further tug on my heart strings when she regretted this. Because Elisabeth had accepted sue as a part of herself, and was tired of hurting that part because it was hurting her. She just wanted it to end. She just wanted things to go back to normal and they can’t and it’s all her fault and she literally has no one in the world but her and her ‘more perfect’ self for comfort. And her ‘more perfect’ self then proceeds to brutally kill her.

I know it was mostly to hurt Elisabeth’s feelings but sue’s tv interview where she made up a story of her family is also oddly sad to me. She doesn’t have that. She has memories of Elisabeth’s life, but she has defined herself as a different person now. A person who came into existence in their early to mid twenties combined with the split consciousness of what was essentially her own mother. Of course she’s fucking terrified of switching back. Not only does Elisabeth herself like Sue’s body more, but to switch would mean she’s no longer in control and it would mean having to live in a decrepit and dying body who she herself has twisted beyond recognition. Then for Sue to be almost killed by her own giver of life (herself), lash out and try to kill the part of her who is unloved, and realizing that part of her even from after death is having the last laugh almost, as she literally falls apart piece by piece on what was supposed to be a magical night just for her.

Of course, we have to talk about their final form. Monstero Elisasue. Quick side note, I honestly don’t think Sue was stupid or irresponsible for using the activator even though it warned it was for single use. I think literally anyone in her shoes would do the same thing. She was breaking down in front of her very eyes and dying in such a slow and horrible way that she was desperate to do anything to stop it - to do anything to still be beautiful. She was in a crisis both physically and mentally.

Back on track, I think there’s definitely something to be said about although this was never meant to happen, the substance still made this in an attempt to create ‘a better version of both Sue and Elisabeth’. And it IS. not physically, of course, but emotionally this is when they finally accept themselves as one person and love themselves again. It’s so sad to me because elisasue was not evil or violent, but because she looked so horrific, it didn’t matter that she was happy to the crowd. They were terrified of her and killed her. Elisasue is not a monster, despite looking like one. She’s a new being. A copy of a copy. When she says “it’s still me” it breaks my heart because she genuinely thought she’d be accepted and loved just the same but instead she was met with violence and fear. She lived for only a few hours, and in that time she was shown nothing but hatred. Because it didn’t matter that she was happy, it only mattered that she couldn’t make money anymore. That is of course reading into the symbolism, the reality of what happened showed some understandable reactions even if they weren’t kind. Being disgusted and terrified of elisasue is pretty reasonable given how she looks and just what she is. I’m not saying she’s gonna win any modeling competitions any time soon. But I am saying that she finally figured out there was more to life than looks and youth and fitness and that, right there, is what thematically gets her killed.

At the end with her on the star, I felt almost relief for the first time watching that movie. She’s genuinely happy. She doesn’t care that she’s literally just a face and some fleshy tendrils, she’s truly happy and at peace. I don’t even know if she’s aware she’s dying at that point or if she just doesn’t care. Maybe she can’t comprehend it because her new form is so different from her first one. She dies after melting into her stardom. She gave everything to her career and it gave her nothing back. But at the very end, she’s at peace. She’s finally who she wants to be without the pain of toxic beauty standards. And she just fades away, like the universe finally decided she’d suffered enough for being human.

There’s a lot I could talk about with cinematography, music, sound design, lighting and practical effects, but I’ll do that another time. This is just me talking about my thoughts on the story and characters.

I rate this movie:

9/10. The only reason it’s not 10 is because I think the origin and creation of the substance is a bit poorly explained. However, that’s such a small detail that it doesn’t offend me. Also because I HATED the nail in the elevator scene that made me cringe. But yeah, this movie fucks hard. If you think you have the stomach for it, do not miss out. It’s very hard hitting and surprisingly sad. It blends crazy body horror with tragedy quite well.

very reminiscent of the fly, Raw/grave, it follows, the thing and even somewhat doctor who (anyone remember the eleventh doctor two part episode ‘the flesh’?) Demi Moore and Margaret Qualley are phenomenally talented. I am desperate for them to do horror or drama in future, they fucking killed it. Such talent and skill. Bravo. Coralie Fargeat is a very very good director, too. This idea and execution for this movie were wild and brilliant and awful and terrible all at the same time. She’s a true artist and I hope she does a lot more fucked up things in future.

#the substance #spoilers #the substance spoilers #movie review

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irisbleufic · 6 months ago

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Of all the current Devil’s Minion writers your playlist is the one I want to see. Do you have one? If not, are there particular songs you’ve been listening into to while you write? The vibe of your prose with them is hypnotizing like the short story about them in the books, it’s impressive, and does your music also inform this choice if at all?

Intense question, anon. Fourteen-year-old me fucking hyperventilated after reading the DM chapter in Queen of the Damned (me, on the floor of my bedroom at 3am because I don’t want to get caught reading this book, staring dazed at the ceiling; me, now, three weeks ago, sitting shellshocked on the sofa after watching S1 and S2 over two days as a binge; me, over two of those weeks following the binge, rereading the first half of the Chronicles and starting to see double, tilt the prism, see what happens when the narratives are overlaid and blurred), and it still feels like that. Likely my prose turning out the way it is in these stories is about 90% my giddy teenage self having access to my adult self’s writing experience to finally write this beloved pairing without fear of litigious letters (IYKYK, my fellow elder Millennials in the fandom). I don’t often love film and TV adaptations of my favorite books, but I adore this show. It’s flawlessly transformative; its improvements only make the resonances and overlaps that much more meaningful. No notes.

However, I have been listening to the same small handful of songs on repeat for 6 days as I write these pieces. I imagine they are affecting my sense of scansion at points; my writing life didn’t begin with fiction, it began with years of poetry before I ever tried prose. These tracks are as meaningful to me as poems as they are songs. It’s as good a starting point for a playlist as any; I’ll keep adding and put it together on Spotify at some point.

1. Vesuvius - Sufjan Stevens

Vesuvius, I am here

You are all I have

Fire of fire, I'm insecure

for it is all been made to plan

Though I know I will fail

I cannot be made to laugh

for in life as in death

I'd rather be burned

than be living in debt

This song was my entire first 72 hours of writing. I’m that Autistic weirdo who will listen to a single song on repeat for a month and think nothing of it. Villa of the Mysteries in Pompeii being the nexus point of their love story from beginning to end in QotD, this is everything to me; I was never going to be able to write about the show incarnation of them without integrating this location and this imagery in the most reverent love letter I know how. This is why my series title for these stories is Caldera. Volcanic crater blowout if ever I saw one; I ran with it.

2. I Forget Where We Were - Ben Howard

Hello love, my invincible friend; hello, love, the thistle and the burr. For you, I have so many words—and I, I forget where we were. I haven’t known this song for all that long in the grand scheme, but it found me via Spotify shuffle in 2022 right after something awful happened. The longing in this song hinges on one of the lovers in it waking up to something they’ve forgotten about their relationship, something precious, and I’m thrilled to finally have a fandom application for it.

3. Make You Better - The Decemberists

I sung you your twinges

I suffered you your tattle-tales

and when you broke sideways

I wanted you, I needed you, oh

to make me better

Oh, to make me better

But we're not so starry-eyed anymore

like the perfect paramour you were in your letters

And won't it all just come around to make you

let it all un-break you to the day that you met her

No excuse for this one; it does a great job of speaking for itself. Front-man Colin Meloy is one of my all-time favorite songwriters, and his work is frequently dark, creepy, and/or gothic enough in flavor that I could find a few more.

4. Song to the Siren - Elisabeth Fraser & This Mortal Coil

On the floating shipless oceans

I did all my best to smile

till your singing eyes and fingers

drew me loving to your isle

and you sang, “Sail to me,

sail to me, let me enfold you—

here I am, here I am,

waiting to hold you.”

This cover of Tim Buckley’s folk masterpiece completely transforms the vibe of the song, and in the kind of way you need for this pairing. This one is at responsible for the events and imagery in my “Still Life with Sunken Treasure.”

5. Hal - Yasmine Hamdan, Only Lovers Left Alive OST

لأ ما أقدرشي

لأ مش ممكن

لأ ما أقدرشي

لأ مش ممكن

يا عزيزة اطلعي

لأ ما أقدرشي

يا حبيبتي شرّفي

لأ ما أقدرشي

وطلعت يا ناس، مغلوبة يا ناس

يا عزيزة اتريحي

لأ ما أقدرشي

يا حبيبتي اتلحلحي

لأ ما أقدرشي

وسمعت يا ناس، مغلوبة يا ناس

لأ ما أقدرشي

لأ مش ممكن

لأ ما أقدرشي

لأ مش ممكن

لأ ما أقدرشي

لأ مش ممكن

يا عزيزة اتفرفشي

لأ ما أقدرشي

يا حبيبتي قربي

لأ ما أقدرشي

فرشنا يا ناس، مغلوبة يا ناس

يا عزيزة اقلعي

لأ ما أقدرشي

يا حبيبتي اتجرأي

لأ مش ممكن

شلحنا يا ناس، مغلوبة يا ناس

لأ ما أقدرشي

لأ مش ممكن

لأ ما أقدرشي

لأ مش ممكن

يا عزيزة اتغندريله

يا حبيبتي اتذوقيله

افهمي يا سيدي مش قادرة

وطبعا تقنعني مش واخدة

ايه يا عزيزة؟

ايه اللي إنتي عملاه ده؟

يا يا يا راجل يا ��وه!

مش عيب عليك اختشي ونو

لأ ما أقدرشي

لأ مش ممكن

يا عزيزة اخلعي

لأ ما أقدرشي

يا حبيبتي اتشخلعي

لأ مش ممكن

يا خيبتي يا ناس، مغلوبة يا ناس

يا عزيزة اتبغددي

لأ ما أقدرشي

يا حبيبتي جربي

لأ ما أقدرشي

وجينا يا ناس، غلبنا يا ناس

جينا يا ناس، غلبنا يا ناس

I don’t think the Arabic justified to the correct side when I copied this, but the translation is very easy to find. I don’t speak Arabic, but honestly the English translation is dull compared to the beauty of this language. If you haven’t watched Only Lovers Left Alive, what the hell are you even doing with your vampire-loving, monster-fucking life? All the tracks on it have the right vibe for DM, really.

#iwtv #iwtv s2 #devil's minion #armand x daniel #armandaniel #armand #daniel molloy #interview with the vampire #only lovers left alive

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polyamzeal · 1 year ago

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got any polyam book recs

How many time do I need to reccomend the Smart Girl's Guide To Polyamory by Dedecker Winston! I feel like I never shut up about it and still people have never heard of it! I am just going to create a quick list of all the polyam books I have read. Because when I was first learning about polyamory it felt like you were required to read certain books before you could get your polyamory license yet so many other people haven't read any books! One day I might write out longer reviews for these.

The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy- This is one of the first ever books focused on polyamory. As such it is a bit dated. Despite that I think it is still a good book that people can get a lot out of. Just keep its age in mind.

More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory by Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert - When I started learning about polyamory this was the holy bible of polyamory that everyone insisted that everybody must read. I honestly liked The Ethical Slut better though. Since then though the book has been utterly condemned by the community and people are now very quick to scream how nobody should read this book because Franklin Veaux was revealed to be abusive in his relationships so now suddenly the book is a guide to teach people how to be abusive in relationships. I guess??? Eve Ricket has put out multiple statements about the book about if people should still read it or not but I am sure I will miss something if I dive into that. Like more The Ethical Slut, just keep in mind it might have some problematic aspects. But I personally think there is still some good stuff in it that people might find value in. It has been a while since I read it but I don't remember it being problematic, just a bit dry and boring.

The Smart Girl's Guide To Polyamory by Dedecker Winston - I'm skipping right to this to say this is my favorite polyamory book! It is very unfortunate that that the title isn't great. And indeed it is written to be aimed at women but honestly I found very very little in the book to feel exclusive to women and not apply to me (a cis-male) just as much. I love this book so much that I re-typed up a passage from it, had it printed on a large poster, and framed.

Sex At Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha - This is another book that used to be worshipped in polyamory circles and wholehearted reccomended. I am so glad that it is now mostly forgotten. Why? BECAUSE THIS IS NOT A POLYAMORY BOOK! This is a very scientific anti-monogamy book. So I was waiting for all this set-up to talk about why polyamory fixes all these problems of monogamy it has taken so long to explain. Spoilers! Polyamory is only briefly mentioned in the epilogue of the book in a half-hearted, "Maybe this solution works for some people". Let's be clear, this is not a bad book. It is a very good book at using scientific evidence to point out flaws with monogamy and can lead to interesting discussion. But it is not a polyamroy book and shouldn't be recommended as such.

Love's Not Color Blind: Race and Representation in Polyamorous and Other Alternative Communities by Kevin Patterson - Another great book that is highly underrated. But note this is not a Polyamory 101 book. I consider this a "next-level" polyamory book. And to be clear I am white/Caucasian and I learned so much from this book and really love it! It opened my eyes in so many ways.

The Polyamorists Next Door: Inside Multiple-Partner Relationships and Families by Elisabeth Sheff - This isn't a bad book but I also didn't really find it to be a good book either. It feels neither pro-polyamory or anti-polyamory. Just a whole lot of stories and facts. I think it might be most interesting for a monogamous person to read.

Polyamory by Marissa Blake - Worst book I have ever listened to and I am pretty sure it is plagiarized. Been meaning to do a project where I research that claim but just haven't been interested in doing so. it is utter garbage.

The Polyamory Breakup Book: Causes, Prevention, and Survival by Kathy Labriola - Another advanced level polyamory book. But I think an especially important one for everyone to read. When you date more people you have more breakups. And when "cheating" is far less of an issue it is becomes hard to understand when you should breakup.

Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy by Jessica Fern - The new holy bible of polyamory that everybody in every polyamory group will recommend immediately. It is a good book but honestly I think it is overrated. I think it is aimed at a very certain kind of person struggling with polyamory but it didn't resonate a whole lot with me on a polyamory level. I thought Secure Attachment was very interesting but I felt the actual polyamory aspects of the book were a little lacking to me. I do recommend the book but maybe not as someone's first polyamroy book. I think there are better polyamory 101 books. To note I have not read Polywise yet, the authors sequel book that just came out. I think I have higher hopes for that one though.

Ready For Polyamory by Laura Boyle - Most recent book I read and I had wanted to write a full review but I forgot. This is a fairly good book. I feel like it doesn't stand out much from the other Polyamory 101 books but overall solid. The one place where I give it the most praise is it has the most up-to-date definitions of terms which over the years have evolved and changed over time. The spectrum of polyamory styles I think is especially important for people to read. Older books didn't mention this at all or it was only Parelle VS Kitchen Table. Now we have a much wider spectrum and I often see a common mistake for newbies is for 2 partners to be at different point of the spectrum and never acknowledging it.

Do you know of any polyamory books I missed that I should read? Please let me know!

#polyamory #polyam #nonmonogamy #Books #Reccomendations #Book Reviews #Book

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goblins-riddles-or-frocks · 4 months ago

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do you find darklina or alutegra more interesting? why?

Oh I mean Alutegra is MUCH more layered, and I think the actual relationship is more competently conveyed? Darklina is interesting to me in the broader brushstrokes of what it suggests + I have an existing forever interest in "kill your overbearing mentor" as a narrative trajectory. From a practical perspective, the larger story also just has more set pieces to play with, a larger cast, and the fandom is all around more active, which is why it's currently occupying my brain more lol. (Also Darklina isn't even my favorite TGT ship dfghjkjhgf I'm a Nikolina truther through and through) I would say Hellsing is straight up better, but its scope is rather limited and like the cast is small and the story is super stylized. I'm personally also an OC hater, so playing in that sandbox is simply more limiting. But if we're only comparing the relationships, Darklina appeals to the things I enjoy in like Phantom of the Opera, and Deathless, and Elisabeth das Musical. That kind of stock dynamic from a lot of gothics of an ingenue and a larger than life villain with all the obvious melodramatic stylistic trappings of it. It's death and the maiden, Don Bluth Anastasia if Rasputin was sexy lmaooo. It’s tried and true, it's fun, it's silly, but it has just enough depth and genuine ugliness, that it can have a more meaningful, visceral heart. I find it the most compelling as a predatory dynamic, and interrogating it from the lens of like abuse and grooming. Despite the silly fantasy plot, the point is that Aleksander wants to break Alina completely, because he has a gaping hole in his own life and he expects her to fill it. And there is so much interpersonal cruelty in that, and that is interesting to me!

Alutegra is meanwhile like playing with similar stock tropes but turning them on their head. Alucard is just outright fucking Dracula lmao. He's thee vampire genre corrupting force. But meanwhile he's Integra's savior, her dog on a leash, and despite all loyalty to her, also personally ruining her goddamn life. The moral quandaries are like tripled; being in league with him goes against everything she supposedly stands for as a vampire hunter, meanwhile he's a ruthless, bloodthirsty murderer and her burden, but also her family's victim. And there's something unique about like... wanting the ruinous canker in your life to... stay there. The "kill your mentor" plotline involves a fairly straightforward like rising above and beyond, but there's no resolution here. He met her when she was fucking twelve and she doesn't know any other life. Even when he disappears for thirty years, she is still fixated on him. It's such a suffocating dynamic! But also they are trying so hard to be nice to each other????? The genuine good will just makes it so much worse. It's like yes, there is a dull, rusty, and poisoned knife in my gut, but I'm going to keep it there and make sure the wound gets worse, and in my heart of heart's I know it doesn't want to hurt me but yes it does <3

#thanks you made me feel insane about hellsing again #hellsing #grishaverse #alarkling #darklina #alutegra #a mysterious stranger has appeared #step into my office #dark stories of the north

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archduchessofnowhere · 3 months ago

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I think that that Die Kaiserin (and by extension any Sisi media) would be 100% better if it included a plot line of “Sophie had an affair with the Duke of Reichstadt and Maximilian is his son”. Yes it is a questionable theory, but somehow more accurate than some of the real plot lines the show uses.

But just imagine:

- angsty backstory for Sophie, making her more sympathetic

- Sophie liking Maximilian the most, causing FJ to be bitter

- really interesting dynamic between Napoleon III and Maximilian if they’re secretly related

- and of course in this version Maximilian would be liberal, and then perhaps there is conflict of Elisabeth not knowing whether to side with FJ or Maximilian when it comes to politics

Hi! Some years ago I think I talked about this as well, but I don't feel like searching the post jgjgk but yeah I agree!

Mandatory disclaimer: we are talking about a possible fictional plot line in a historically inaccurate tv series, this isn't a discussion as to whether the theory is true or not (which honestly, the answer is 99% likely no lol).

Die Kaiserin is such a weird series to me, because the screenwriters are not only set in being as inaccurate as they can, they for some reason also chose to be inaccurate in the most boring and uncreative way they could think of. The screenwriters decided to make Franz Josef the illegitimate son of Gustav of Vasa, which is just so... bland? To me at least. It adds nothing to FJ's character because he doesn't know this, it adds no tension because no one but Sophie and Vasa seem to know this. And to add insult to injury, Vasa is literally just Some Guy we see for two scenes and never again. What was even the point of this plot line? Like maybe someone will find out next season and this will create some sort of conflict? But even then, it will be a conflict solved before it even starts, because we know that other than malicious gossip, FJ's legitimacy as emperor of Austria was never questioned.

There's a reason for why Maximilian ended up becoming attached to the rumor instead of his elder brother (because in the early form of the rumor FJ was the love child): it just makes for a far better story. It's everything you mentioned, plus the fact that it gives Reichstadt's anticlimatic death an unexpected epilogue: his story ends now with Max's heroic death in Querétaro. Like, even their coffins were originally placed next to each other, the story just writes on its own.

Again, we are not discussing accuracy, we are discussing which one makes for a more fun to watch story. If you are so set on Sophie having an affair and one of her sons being the product of that affair in your show, then why don't you go for the infinitely more interesting plot of "Maximilian is Napoleon II's son, which automatically adds a fascinating layer to his relationship with Napoleon III, which will be important later"? I feel this is a no-brainer, the fact they went for VASA is just baffling to me (and they don't even adapted him properly, he isn't the exiled son of the King of Sweden, cousin of Sophie, he really is just Some Guy!).

Even with their bizarre characterization of Max him being the illegitimate son still makes more sense, like maybe he is Like That because he suspects the truth! Maybe that's why he and his brother don't get along! This is so easy, I legit don't get what's going on in that writing room.

#maybe they just didn't want to explain who reichstadt was? but other than saying he was napoleon's son what else you need to explain jgjgk #asks #die kaiserin (2022)#the empress (2022)

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totowlff · 1 year ago

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chapter forty-four — not a baby

➝ elisabeth has a complicated mission ahead of her: finding out what happened to rosi

➝ word count: 2,9k

➝ warnings: mentions of body image and bullying

➝ author’s note: happy birthday to the old man!

JUNE, 2018

As she laid in bed, Elisabeth lightly caressed the small bump just below her navel. It was still too early for the pregnancy to be visibly obvious, however, she could already notice the difference, especially when it came to zipping up her pants.

— Looks like someone finally decided to show up.

She turned her head to see Toto staring at her belly, a wide smile on his face.

— You think? — Elisabeth asked, as he settled into the bed next to her. He placed his hand on her lower abdomen, lightly caressing the fabric of her nightgown with his thumb.— I do — Toto replied — Which means our aprikose is growing.

— The app said they're the size of a pear now — she murmured, placing her hand over his.

— He will always be our aprikose, and you know it. Our beautiful and precious aprikose.

With a smile, Elisabeth brought her face closer to Toto's, placing a delicate kiss on his lips. She loved when they were able to be alone, savoring the intimacy and emotion of sharing a unique and special secret. However, Elisabeth’s joy turned to confusion as she pulled away from him, and Toto’s expression changed to something that looked more worried than happy.

— Are you okay? — she asked softly, bringing a hand to his cheek.

— Yes, I’m fine — Toto replied, forcing a small smile.

— No, I know you’re not. Tell me, what happened?

His expression collapsed again immediately.

— It's Rosi.

Elisabeth could feel her heart sink a bit. Living with Toto for a few years had led to her developing a genuine affection for her stepchildren-to-be, and she felt a faraway pang of guilt for not noticing anything was wrong. Rosi and Bene were both over at the penthouse for the weekend, and all had seemed normal with the kids until then. They both seemed excited to be there, giving Elisabeth hugs and kisses. Rosi had even asked if she was feeling better, as Elisabeth had been having some morning sickness the previous weekend.

— Did something happen to her?

— Stephanie said she’s acting strange — he explained — Quieter than usual, you know?

— Did she ask why?

— Yes, but Rosi didn't say anything, she said it's nothing. But Stephanie is sure that something happened and that she is hiding it from us.

— Did you try to talk to her? Perhaps…

— I did, but she said that I was only asking because her mother told me to and that she didn't want to talk about it — Toto said, snorting — I'm worried, Liesl. What could have happened that she doesn't want to tell us about? Why is she so resistant to talking about it?

— Well, it could be something that she thinks is silly and doesn't want to share so as not to upset you or her mother. It’s a common teenage girl thing — she replied — When I was her age and I was going through some... Problems at school, I didn't want to tell my parents because I was afraid they’d think it was silly.

— Bullying is not something silly, Liesl. And you know you should have told your parents about it at the first opportunity.

— I know, my love, but I didn't want to bother my parents with my teenage dramas...

— These are not teenage dramas, they are valid concerns and you deserved to be heard, just like Rosi does. But she refuses to talk to me or Stephanie...

Elisabeth nodded slightly. She understood what Toto was worried about; She didn’t want to imagine a situation where her child felt afraid to talk to her about anything, especially if it was something serious.

However, at the same time, she understood the way Rosi was likely feeling, having been a teenage girl herself. “Maybe she needs someone who has been in that situation before, who knows how she feels,” she thought.

— I can try to talk to her — Elisabeth murmured.

— Do you want to? — Toto asked.

— Well, maybe she doesn't feel completely comfortable talking to you or Stephanie about it because she’s afraid of how you’ll react. You’re her parents, I’m not.

— You are her stepmother.

— Not yet, but that's not the point — she said — What I want to say is that I'm not a stranger, but I'm not her parent, and maybe she feels more comfortable talking to me because of that. Plus, she knows I had a rough time in school.

— Would you really do that? — he asked softly.

— Like I said, I can try. I cannot guarantee that she will actually open up to me, but maybe I can get more information than she gave you or Stephanie.

Her words seemed to inspire some sort of hope in Toto; Elisabeth could see it in his eyes.

— Thank you, my love — Toto whispered, before placing a soft kiss on her lips.

The next day, early in the morning, they decided to put their plan into action. After getting up and getting dressed, Elisabeth found Rosi sitting on the living room sofa. She was still in her pajamas, scrolling through something on her phone, her expression noticeably passive and almost listless. She looked more like a girl who had just been through several days’ worth of grueling exams, and not one on a weekend without any commitments. Rosi glanced at Elisabeth as she stepped into the living room, looking her up and down as Elisabeth adjusted her earrings. Seeing Elisabeth up and dressed seemed to pique the girl’s curiosity.

— Are you going out, Liesl? — Rosi asked.

— Yeah, I'm going to a store to pick up some clothes I bought. Do you want to come with me?

She sprang from the couch almost immediately and ran to her bedroom, seemingly to change, which calmed Elisabeth’s nerves a bit. After she re-emerged from her bedroom in a pair of dark jeans and a t-shirt, they left the penthouse as Toto watched from the kitchen, giving Elisabeth a wink as she stepped out of the door.

As Elisabeth drove her black Mercedes through the streets of Vienna towards Mariahilf, she managed to get Rosi to talk a bit, but she became noticeably more reserved when Elisabeth asked how school was going.

“I guess the problem really is with school”, she thought, taking the exit off of the expressway that followed the contours of the Donaukanal.

The possibilities of what could have happened at school continued to torment Elisabeth's mind until she parked in front of a store called Imperio. She took a deep breath and smiled at the girl as she turned off the car.

— Shall we go inside?

Elisabeth commented about a cute print in the window display as they stepped inside, and It didn't take long for them to be greeted by a saleswoman, who soon led them to the back of the store to give Elisabeth the bag of clothes she’d ordered.

— There are three dresses, a blouse and two skirts, right? — the woman asked, while checking the invoice with a description of what was there.

— That's right — Elisabeth replied.

While waiting for the saleswoman to check that everything was inside the bag, she looked back and found Rosi looking at some dresses with an unreadable expression. Stepping away from the counter, she approached the girl in silence, watching the way her fingers ran through the fabric.

— Did you like that dress? — she asked.

Rosi looked up, a small smile forced on her lips.

— Yeah, but I don't think it would look good on me.

— Why not?

The girl crossed her arms, looking down.

— Because it wouldn’t, Liesl.

— Do you want to try it on?

— No need — Rosi replied, turning away from the dress and walking towards some blouses that were hanging on the wall. Her reaction made something tighten in Elisabeth's chest. “There’s definitely something wrong”, she thought.

After they left the store, she invited Rosi to go to the café next door, which the girl accepted. However, as soon as they stepped up to the counter to order, Rosi’s demeanor shifted again.

— Do you want the usual double caramel donut? — she asked.

— I won't want anything, Liesl — the girl replied.

Elisabeth blinked.

— Why? I thought you loved it…

— I'm not hungry.

— Rosi, you didn't eat anything this morning.

— Because I'm not hungry.

Giving a sigh, Elisabeth looked at the cafeteria worker.

— I'll have two double caramel donuts. Plus chamomile tea and a cappuccino.

With their drinks and donuts in hand, they sat at one of the tables near the window. The silence between them seemed to last forever as Rosi poked at the caramel glaze with an impassive expression. The scene was so familiar to Elisabeth that it hurt.

— So, who said something to you about your body?

Rosi looked up at her, eyes widening in shock.

— What are you talking about?

— Rosi, I've known you long enough to see that there's something wrong with you — Elisabeth said, placing her hands on the table — And I've been bullied enough to know that, when someone refuses to eat something they've always liked, it's because someone was talking about their body.

— Liesl…

— Who talked about your body, Rosi?

— Nobody — she said, in a low voice.

— Then, you’re thinking bad things about yourself. Tell me, please.

The girl let out a long, heavy sigh, placing her hands in her lap.

— I hate my body.

— Why? — Elisabeth asked, confused — What's wrong with it?

— It's... just… weird.

— My dear, your body is perfectly normal.

— For a child, not a teenager — she murmured, her eyes on the foam dissolving into her cappuccino.

— But, what do you think is wrong with it?

Rosi huffed, frustration clear in her posture.

— I don't have breasts or ass, okay? I'm completely ridiculous, I’m as flat as a board, and it’s frustrating because I’m the only girl who is.

— And how did you come to that conclusion? — Elisabeth asked.

— I have a mirror at home — the girl replied, acid in her voice. However, she limited herself to focusing on the most important issue there.

— But you need a reference to think that your body is not suitable for your age. Was it one of your classmates that said something?

The girl clenched her jaw.

— At swim practice, some of the other girls in the locker room were talking about how they had to buy new swimsuits because the ones they had were getting too tight over their chests, because of their boobs — she replied, her finger circling the rim of the coffee cup in front of her — And that was when I realized that I didn't have to buy new swimsuits because nothing about my body has changed. And I realized that the rest of them are starting to get more curves, they look really grown-up, but I still look like a kid.

Elisabeth smiled bitterly.

— With me it was just the opposite.

— It was?

— I started to develop before the other girls in my class. I was one of the first to get my period, I was the first one to have to buy a bra, — she said, before taking a sip of tea — I never cared about it until I realized that I was different from the other girls. And the worst part was when others noticed and started making fun of me.

Rosi's expression softened.

— But why?

— Because I wasn't thin, I wasn’t very tall, I had pimples, and I had crooked teeth — Elisabeth explained — I was in my ugly duckling stage before anyone else in my class.

— But you’re beautiful. I’ve seen the pictures of you at your dad’s house, you were always so pretty.

She smiled at the girl.

— I appreciate the compliment, but for a long time, I didn't think so. I felt a lot of insecurity, a lot of fear, a lot of sadness. That's exactly what I don't want to happen to you, Rosi.

The girl looked down at the still-uneaten donut.

— But, it’s different…

— No, it’s the same. You're feeling bad about yourself, about your body and you're dealing with it the same way I dealt with it, by shutting down and shutting out the people that care about you, which is the worst way possible. You can tell your mother and father how you feel instead of withdrawing, they’ll understand.

Rosi snorted and shook her head.

— My parents wouldn’t understand, Liesl. They don't take me seriously...

— What do you mean?

— I mean they still see me as a child. They still treat me like a little girl, that I’m too young to worry about these things — she explained — I know I'm the youngest in the family, but... Fuck!

Elisabeth couldn't help but giggle, not because of the outburst or the fact that Rosi had used such coarse language, but because she knew that she was no longer the youngest in the family. “Maybe this is the right time”, she thought.

— You really have no idea how your parents see you, do you?

— I told you, Liesl, they see me as a baby.

— No, I know otherwise. They see you as an intelligent, thoughtful, wonderful young lady who is going through a difficult time and deserves all the affection in the world. And I know they don’t see you as a baby, because you’re no longer the baby of the family.

— But I’m the youngest…

— I know, Rosi, but not for much longer.

As she sipped her tea, Elisabeth could see the gears turning in Rosi's head.

— You mean…

— I'm pregnant.

The girl's eyes widened, her lips parting in shock.

— Are you serious?

— Do you think I would lie to you? — Elisabeth returned the question with a wide smile on her face.

— But you said that…

— We weren't planning on having a baby just yet, but it happened...

— How… far along are you? — she asked, joy spreading over her face.

— Three and a half months.

— When did you find out?

— While we were in Monaco.

— Who else knows?

— Just me, your father, and my doctor. And now, you.

Elisabeth’s answer made Rosi beam, clearly happy to be the first in the family to know about her new sibling. As they were eating, they talked more about the baby and the pregnancy, with Elisabeth revealing that the clothes she had just picked up were maternity clothes.

When they returned to the penthouse, Rosi was noticeably more cheerful, which made Toto happy. He asked Elisabeth about their conversation, and Elisabeth said that everything had gone well, leaving it at that.

— Excellent — he murmured, kissing her cheek.

The day continued at a leisurely pace, with the four of them having lunch together and then getting together to watch a movie in the living room, as they did every weekend.

— Can I choose? — Rosi asked.

— No, Rosi — Benedict replied.

— Why not?

— Because Liesl picked it last week, and now it’s my turn.

— But I know a good one…

— Leave it for when it's your turn.

— Bene, please…

— As the youngest, you choose last, Rosi, that's the rule.

— I'm not the youngest anymore — Rosi shouted, causing Elisabeth to freeze halfway to the living room, her eyes wide as she held the bowl of popcorn.

— Rosi — Toto scolded, while Benedict turned to his father.

—What is she talking about, dad?

Running a hand through his hair, Toto hesitated for a few seconds, seemingly trying to search for the right words. His eyes went to Elisabeth, who was standing still.

— Well…

— Liesl is pregnant — Rosi blurted out.

Silence reigned in the living room. Benedict's eyes met Elisabeth's for a few seconds, before dropping to her belly.

— Is it true, Liesl?

She set the bowl of popcorn on the coffee table with a sigh, and stared at the boy for a few moments.

— Yes, darling — she finally managed to say — I'm pregnant.

— Since when?

— I’m already in the second trimester.

— We found out a little while ago — Toto hurried to add, as if he was afraid that his son would think they were hiding it from them — And we were planning to tell you this weekend.

— Liesl told me this morning — Rosi added — She even showed me the baby's ultrasound pictures.

The living room was silent for another moment.

— Does that mean I'm going to have a brother? — Benedict asked.

— Or sister, we don't know yet — Toto said — We prefer not to know the sex so as not to make Niki more anxious since he wants to have a granddaughter anyway.

Looking at Toto, Elisabeth's stepson-to-be looked somewhat skeptical. And it was that doubt about his opinion that gnawed at her insides like acid.

— I wouldn't complain if it were a boy — he finally said, looking at his father with the shadow of a smile on his face. Elisabeth’s shoulders dropped in relief with Benedict’s seeming acceptance of the news.

— But it'll be a girl, I'm sure — Rosi said, smiling.

— Whatever it is, I hope you love them the same way they will love you — she replied, feeling her throat tighten — Because we are going to teach them to love you just like me and your father love...

Elisabeth's voice broke, tears trailing down her cheeks. The hormones were making her deeply emotional, even more than she liked to show. However, at that moment, she couldn't help but let that avalanche of feelings out.

Then, she was swallowed up in the warmth of her stepchildren's arms. Benedict and Rosi hugged her tightly, asking her not to cry, after all, that was a happy moment.

Of that, Elisabeth had no doubt.

#toto wolff #wlffog #f1 fic #formula 1 fic #f1 fanfic #formula 1 fanfic #toto wolff x oc #formula 1 x oc #formula one x oc #f1 x oc #toto wolff fanfic #formula one fanfic #formula one fic #scwlff

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yellow-dejavu · 9 months ago

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- Paradise is free of pain and sorrow. Everything we've ever done is forgotten there. Any pain that we've ever felt is erased. And all the dead live.

I find it curious how the belief in paradise affects some of the characters, so I want to make a little speculation about how I think it might have worked. Franziska, Magnus and Agnes were part of Sic Mundus, but it is really unclear how they see it. So I will mainly focus on Noah, Elisabeth and Silja, who are known to really believe in paradise.

When Noah and Elisabeth meet, he shares his belief in paradise with her. Then they are separated by the disappearance of their daughter, and Silja as a child is brought to Elisabeth. Elisabeth shares her belief in paradise with Silja. The way I think it might play out is that Elisabeth knew this child who had just lost her mother, and she wanted to comfort this little girl by sharing something that had given her comfort since she was a little girl. I also think that Elisabeth was specifically told to form Sic Mundus in the post-apocalyptic era and protect the plant.

So Silja was raised in a cult until 1888, where she continued her life and died with an earlier version of the same cult. Her husband was part of the cult since his late teens until his death, and their kids were raised in a cult. There is little or no information about the family of Bartosz, Silja, Hanno and Agnes. So I have some assumptions about their family dynamics. Silja named her son Hanno after her late mother Hannah. Hanno was very young when his mother died. So I think the way she may have introduced Hanno to paradise is as a bedtime story. I mean Silja gave her son something from her mother, which is his name, so I think it would make sense if she gave her son something from the other parental figure she had in her life, which is Elisabeth. Something that gave her comfort in hard times and now she could share with her little boy in better times.

I also think I could connect this with Bartosz death. What if Bartosz wanted to keep this image of a "perfect paradise" as a way for his child to remember Silja?

It would be even easier to manipulate a little cult boy into thinking that betraying his father is an act of love. Adam believed in paradise, but not in the same way. His version wasn't as optimistic; their version was easier to manipulate and use in his favor. Sic Mundus can make Noah believe that his father's detachment from the prophecy is forgetting his mother's memory, and he knows that his father is clearly in pain. Bartosz has lost his faith, but Noah can still free him from all that pain and take him to Paradise. Noah must save his father by killing him.

If he thought something like that, it made me think of the phrase Noah repeated more than once, "he also said we'd become friends before you betray me". Noah always knew that he would be betrayed, but he didn't imagine that his baby would be stolen by his own baby and the mother who was also her baby's daughter, all ordered by Adam. I think Noah always taught that Adam would kill him. Maybe he would lose his faith like his father and Adam would betray him. He would save him by killing him like Noah did with his father. Jonas would do it because he loves Noah and it would free him from all his pain. Adam is his savior.

After the experiments failed and Charlotte's birth was difficult, Noah didn't feel his faith was as strong. He was hopeless. But they're going to make it, they're going to fulfill the prophecy. Noah will have to travel and teach a younger version of himself. He has never seen a much older version of himself, so it could mean that his time is near. But could paradise ever be as sweet and real as what he's building with his family? it doesn't matter how he feels, he just wants Elisabeth to keep her hope, and he would give her the strength he doesn't have for himself.

#just random thoughts #dark 2017 #sic mundus creatus est #adam dark #hanno tauber #elisabeth doppler #silja tiedemann #bartosz tiedemann #jonas kahnwald #noah dark #sic mundus #dark netflix #headcanons #i posted this #tell me about paradise

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flowers-of-io · 9 months ago

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Legacy First [the Bray family fanmix]

Listen on Spotify

//song list and lore under the cut//

Queen of Peace – Florence + the Machine

I understand you're angry with me. I would be too, if I'd watched my father come so close to salvation, only to die the way he did. Believe me-the groans and snaps of his exobody tearing itself apart haunt me almost as profoundly as the things we said over his deathbed. [...] But what I am working on here could have saved him. Could save him still.

His only son Cut down but the battle won Oh, what is it worth

Moons of Jupiter – Freezepop

“Europa has relit the fire in my soul; one that even its freezing winds cannot chill.”

I think you are the moons of Jupiter I think there's something hiding underneath the ice

Nice to Meet Me – Zack Hemsey

The K1 artifact promised me an offering. A gateway to the secret of immortality. I call it Clarity. It is waiting on Europa.

And I feel like I got a gun Like I've been changed more ways than one And this whole world has just begun

Kingdom Fall – Claire Wyndham

“Agatha, clearly we have not found our solution. I'll leave this, hm, mess in your incapable hands. Don't ever bring me up to witness an event like this again. Disgusting.”

Nothing here is shining Shining like it should

Her Father In The Pool – The National

“That's your son's quote,” she snapped. “You know, I've seen the video of his final days. That naked, white exo, just paramuscle and soft membrane, writhing in its cradle. When you were done with him, he looked like nothing more than a slug, Clovis. A twisted, limbless giblet. Did you 'support and nurture' him while you tortured him to death?”

Mistakes – PHILDEL

I know how much you've lied It's too much to discuss numbers I know how much I've let slide

Numbers – Daughter

Fine. I’m coming. […] If you tell the family I’m sick, I’ll never speak to you again. I won’t even let you treat me. You’ll have to watch, helpless, as your own granddaughter falls victim to your mistakes. I hope you’re still someone capable of being troubled by that.

You’d better make me better

Organs – Of Monsters And Men

“I activate this... and it all goes away. [sniffles] Cheers to that.”

And I cough up my lungs Because they remind me of how it all went wrong But I leave in my heart Because I don't want to stay in the dark

Rabbit Heart – Florence + the Machine

She’s done it. My girl has transubstantiated. My legacy is safe. […] The scan was flawless, and of course, fatally toxic. My granddaughter’s human form died on the table 14 hours later.

And Midas is king, and he holds me so tight And turns me to gold in the sunlight

Destroy Everything You Touch – Unwoman

“Of course you dreamt about killing us. Your grandfather made you this way. And he kills everything he touches.”

Destroy everything you touch today Destroy me this way Anything that may desert you So it cannot hurt you

Over Cold Shoulders – Eliza Rickman

“The memory bank you just slipped in your pocket. That belonged to Elisabeth-1.”

You come in here looking for more And oh, you take all you can fit in your arms When you walk out the door

Make Up Your Mind – Florence + the Machine

If I do not survive the construction and delivery of this weapon, I ask that you share the news of my death with Ana and Willa so they can make proper goodbyes. I do this for them. Not for you. Pray for grace, Grandfather.

And although the axe is heavy It just sits in my hands

Landfill – Daughter

“You’ve always been my favorite, Elisabeth. Please…”

Wipe away your tear stains Thought you said you didn’t feel pain

Which Witch – Florence + the Machine

“Perhaps our legacy should be burnt to the ground,” she says

And it’s my whole heart While tried and tested, it’s mine

Legacy – Unwoman

The new Elisabeth has no mouth or nose. She did not consider them necessary. She'll see. But somehow, I could still see the wonder in her eyes as she leaned over me. “You're my grandfather,” she seemed to say. “Aren't you?”

The End Of Love – Florence + the Machine

“Legacy first… Elisabeth,” he says.

We were a family pulled from a flood You tore the floorboards up And let the river rush in

Tomorrow – Daughter

Repeating myself over and over, hoping something will change, but I know it's coming. Blood and betrayal.

But don't bring tomorrow 'Cause I already know I'll lose you

Lament – Destiny 2: Beyond Light OST

There was a world where we were a happy family. This isn't it. We both know it.

#continuing the accidental tradition of posting fanmixes in may #i made this playlist soooo long ago. like in early 2021 probably #and then sorta forgot to finish and share it lol #my playlists #fanmix #destiny fanmix #destiny 2 #the bray family #elsie bray #clovis bray #music #beautiful creation

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filmbyjy · 2 years ago

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TWITTER SUCKS! > special! enhypen behind the scenes

a/n: not me using papago😍 also using papago is better than using google! so if you wanna know what some Korean translation mean use papago!! (not sponsored, I just used this during my trip to korea)

vote for my next smau here!!! (ends in 2 days!! so vote!!)

synopsis > who knew you could become famous overnight for paying $8 for a single blue checkmark? however, it does come with consequences…what happens when the actual BELIFT Lab comes knocking at your door. all because you simply impersonated your bias.

masterlist | chapter 28 | chapter 29

series taglist[open]: @lovers-szn @shiguresohmas @moonshoon @byunappetit @strvlveera @rikisly @4lythe @lalalalawon @beansworldsstuff @enhastolemyheart @jaehaki @shinsou-rii @jeanbob @sxftiell @renchai @nyfwyeonjun @invusblog @lhees01 @donghyckl @enhafika @dimplewonie @foxsunoo @run2-gyu @lvrjjun @curly-fr13s @bubblytaetae @raikea10 @ce1ight @luvlee1313 @rizzshimura @soobisrealgfnotfake @stantxtorurmissingout @l0tisflower @jseobsky @lovelickiez @liliansun @kyanmeai @nobodyshallenter @faeryhee @pkjay @mlink64 @luxurystark-jackson @aleombre @yenqa @heestrawberries @soaen @ckline35 @http-gyu @climbingmandevillas @stopeatread @y4wnjunz @aetherlol @whippedforbeomgyu @elisabeth-02

(to be added please send an ask or click here)

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ananke-xiii · 26 days ago

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If man is five, then the devil is six, and if the devil is six then god is seven…

(general content warning: this post is about "The Substance" which is a body horror movie so I will mention blood&other stuff)

I was very curious about “The Substance” because everything about it, from the trailer to the music, from the actors to the visuals, promised something veeery good. At the same time, however, I was also a bit anxious because the internet content my algorithm had decided for me seemed to suggest that the movie was great for two major reasons: its references to 80s movies and its critique of the toll the beauty industry exacts on women. And I was like “Okay, fine but I hope it’s more than that” and I’m happy to say that it totally is!

Before watching the movie I wrote that, based on the information I had at the time, the movie’s core theme seemed to be the myth of Demeter and Persephone. After having watched the movie I can confirm my theory, although what I watched was a bit different than the usual interpretation of said myth. There are a lot of GREAT movies about the theme of woman/duality but, as far as I remember and as far as I personally know, in almost all these movies the main element is the relationship between two women (which is amazing and I wouldn’t ever change that). This is not (just) what I’ve seen in “The Substance”.

I think that the main element in the movie is the impact that the negation of natural cycles has on people. It’s not just the beauty industry that denies us to embrace the cycles of life (we can’t stay young forever, this is just an obvious fact that we all know), it’s the whole system we live in which doesn’t accept change and favors replacement of what’s known for something similar (and therefore considered “normal”) against the exploration of what’s new and different (and therefore considered “abnormal”.) In our society a “normal” thing like aging thus becomes “abnormal”… monstrous.

Demi Moore and Margaret Qualley are PHENOMENAL and I truly hope more and more awards come their way because they deserve them all. However, what struck me the most is how the movie doesn’t rely on dialogue at all, everything and I mean everything it’s in the visuals, the photography, the movements, the body. Coralie Fargeat really had a clear vision inside her mind and she managed to transfer that vision from her own inner world to the outside world. While I was watching the movie I had the feeling that all the people working on it were doing their best to give birth to her vision and it was a fantastic thing to watch.

What I personally took from this vision of hers is that, to the surprise of probably nobody, the main character of the movie is the Substance itself. So what is this mysterious Substance exactly? The first “surprise” is that it’s not merely a thing, a miraculous product but it’s a process. It’s a routine that one must stick to without fail. The balance must be respected: it’s a commandment that demands respect and that doesn’t even bother to tell you what the consequences might be in the event said balance is disrespected. Just obey it.

Elisabeth means “God is my oath” and this is what she does in the movie: she promises that she will respect the balance and obvisoulsy things won't go well. But Elisabeth also means “God is perfection”, “God is seven” so I want to take a look at what this means in the movie.

The process that taking the Substance entails has different stages: the first one is taking the Activator which, the movie tells us, must be taken only ONCE. Once the Activator has been used Elisabeth’s body gives birth to Sue, who’s not only herself but a “better version” of herself, the version she dreams about, perhaps. The Activator stands for the Aristotelian concept of semen as an “activator”, the “active principle”, the thing that creates and gives life and shape form while matter is the passive aspect of the process, the thing that get molded and shaped. The Activator also stands for God: Eve from Adam, Sue from Elisabeth.

Like Creation took seven days to be completed, the process of the Substance lasts seven days after which the balance must be restored. So this specific Creation seems to be a little bit imbalanced to my taste: the weight given on the Created is way too big, the process’ targets seem to be both desperate, lonely people and obedient, docile people. The combination of blind desperation and required obedience is a recipe for disaster. The balance never was balanced in the first place: as ALWAYS the game is rigged.

But seven is not just a biblical number, it’s a magical numbers in many different traditions. 7 times 4 is 28 and oh, look! These are days of the lunar month! There are also the days of an "average"(more or less, it's very difficult to define "average" when it comes to menstrual cycles but I digress) menstrual cycle. If I’m not mistaken Elisabeth starts the process in May, during full spring, while things precipitate at the beginning of winter… on Dec 31st, New Year’s Eve according the solar calendar.

As I’ve said, this movie, at least to me, speaks about time and its cycles and specifically about how societal time is not in tune with nature's time. Elisabeth is 50 and, even if it’s not said, it’s implied that she’s reached menopause, aka the end of her menstrual cycle, a cycle of life that society has decided to be the period when a woman stops being a palatable object of desire. A period of life that's undesirable. Fertility and desire are connected in a way that’s supposed to be “normal” and “natural” but that it’s clearly not. On the other hand, Sue is not a better version of Elisabeth but the version of Elisabeth that society deems palatable. Society wants to eat Sue and Sue wants to eat Elisabeth and be done with her.

One of the things that I loved about the movie is that it used the snake symbolism in such a brilliant way, like I was “woah!”. “The Substance” starts with one egg that, after being pricked with a syringe containing the Activator, becomes two. Moving on, the chicken has a prominent role in the story and it’s mainly associated with Elisabeth, but I really, really enjoyed how the film subtextually framed Sue as a snake that doesn’t eat eggs/chickens but that… eats herself.

Sue doesn’t come from Elisabeth’s rib but from her spinal column. The scar that’s left on Elisabeth’s body is serpentine in form and, of course, it is believed that the Kundalini snake “rests” at the beginning of the spine, in the lumbar area, and, if awaken, raises its head until it reaches the skull. Sue and Elisabeth, but specifically Sue because of her misuse and her desire to eat Elisabeth/herself, feed off the other’s cerebrospinal fluid that’s collected via a lumbar puncture. So what Sue is basically doing is feeding off Elisabeth’s Kundalini energy, which is a sexual energy. An energy, thus, very much connected to desire, fertility and pleasure.

Another thing that I have ADORED is precisely that, the choice of the cerebrospinal fluid. I mean, the easiest, most obvious way would be using blood for its blatant reference to menstrual blood and life but not! Fargeat knows what she’s doing and, instead, she uses the bathroom as the primary location in the show but she doesn't use blood to show Elisabeth and Sue's relationship. I can’t speak for everyone but personally, as a woman, a girl and a kid I’ve always had the closest relationship with bathrooms. I used to do everything in the bathroom, even to hide there and this is what Elisabeth/Sue also does to the point that Sue fucking builds a secret room inside her bathroom to...hide herself/Elisabeth. Genius!!!

Of course, blood is still central in the movie but its main usage is saved for the last scene. Monstro ElisaSue doesn’t make it to the new year because Time as construed by society doesn’t allow monstrosity. Elisabeth and Sue can live provided that they are separate and they obey and respect the balance. They cannot live together, in fact living together as in One person is seen as a monstrosity. You, quite literally, cannot be yourself AND the self society deems it's your "better version". Humans must stay divided, severed, separated in themselves first and foremost because the balance feeds off this separation, this is why the game must stay rigged. If there’s nothing to compare against there is no need for a scale.

So yeah, to me this movie is surely about the issues with the beauty industry today but this is just a facet of a bigger, deeper, more complex issue: cycles can only happen in nature, they’re just a convention because we need a calendar to mark the days and control the people but the same people cannot live their natural cycles. Life itself is denied to them. They must stay young and beautiful and perfect. Forever.

#the title is from “Monkey gone to Heaven” by Pixies #relevant to my post and to the movie although i think that “Alien She” by Bikini Kill is the song that best represents it #anyway. I've loved this movie and I have something else to say about it next time #i really wanna see Fargeat's first movie now #i mean can you believe this is ONLY her second movie????#amazing #the substance #coralie fargeat #the substance 2024 #elisabeth sparkle #horror movies #movies #symbolisms #myths we live by #margaret qualley #demi moore

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