#eliot-pov queliot song.....who said that

[thepoisonroom]

That is you in front of me

And you are back for even more of exactly the same

Well are you a masochist?

You love a modern leper on his last leg

And you're not ill and I'm not dead

Doesn't that make us the perfect pair?

You should sit with me and we'll start again

And you can tell me all about what you did today

[hmgfanfic]

fic writer interview

tagged by @nellie-elizabeth! 💗

name: Harriet, Harri, HMG. My ao3 is the same as my Tumblr handle.

fandoms: Plural! Ha! You’re cute. 

two-shot: Yes, I’ve written a two-shot.

most popular multi-chapter fic: Either Something Good or Little Quirks of Fate, depending on how you analyze the stats. Something Good has the most kudos/bookmarks, and it’s also the fic I think is most associated with my name? On the other hand, LQoF has a lot more hits and had very consistent “engagement” (hate that term for fic but it’s easy shorthand) even with a 4X longer posting period and a much smaller fandom.

actual worst part of writing: First drafts. I’m verbose, so I overwrite but I’m also a perfectionist, so it’s acutely painful to do. I can’t stand writing thousands of words I *know* will need major rehauling, but I lack the ability to course-correct on the first attempt. My kingdom for a clean first draft.

how you choose your titles: I’ve said this a few times before, but I barely think about titles. The first idea I don’t hate is usually the one I use. I tend to keep ‘em short and snappy too, four words max. I take ideas from all over the place, but of my unlocked fics on Ao3 I have: two book quotes (Not Always Folly and LQoF), one song lyric (My Lonely Heart Calls… which incidentally might be my favorite title these days? I like how the words are soft/yearning, but of course, the song is this, which encapsulates the vibe of the fic), and three “original” titles (Something Good, Fluorescent Light, and my upcoming MBB.)

do you outline: Religiously, at both the structural and scene level. But I adjust the story maps a lot as I write, since I discover pain points through drafting more than outlining, specifically regarding character motivation.

ideas you probably won’t get around to, but wouldn’t it be nice: A Queliot version of “Beauty and the Beast” has been on my list for-ev-er but I’ve never figured out the exact right premise.

callouts @ me: 

Me: “I relate to Quentin more than Eliot.”

Anyone who notices the number of words I’ve written in Eliot POV:

best writing traits: Based on feedback, I’d say strong dialogue, rich romance arcs, clever dramatic irony, and the ability to pull off high-concept hooks without sacrificing characterization.

spicy tangential opinion: I think the fandom occasionally blows Margo’s “jealousy” over Mike way out of proportion. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Open tag! I’ve been extremely offline lately, so I have no idea who’s done this, but I *love* reading them, so please do it if you haven’t. :)

[akisazame]

not strictly in the spirit of trivia tuesday but here's a fun thing i've wanted to talk about for a while: fic inspiration playlists.

when it becomes clear that i'm going to have to live with a writing project for an extended period of time (ie it's shaping up to be novella-length or longer), the first two orders of business are:

1) title the thing so i'm not stuck calling it by a temp name in my head

2) make a playlist

these are actually two related actions because the first song in the playlist will always be the song from which i pulled the fic title. lyrics are obviously the most important part but it's also the broadest way to set the mood of the whole playlist and therefore the fic. that first song, plus the next four songs, basically make up a sort of mission statement.

here's the mission statement for your emotions have an echo, aka camp canyon grove au:

i chose the gnarls barkley song for a few reasons, but primarily because it was the first song that turned up in my google searches for "most popular songs 2006" that didn't make me want to scream. plus, you know, ha ha the song is called crazy and it's a crazy ex-girlfriend fic. the p!atd song came next because "let's get these teen hearts beating faster" was the runner-up title. from there i went slightly anachronistic with misery business, which has the rebecca vs valencia flavor that i needed. young enough is completely anachronistic but 1) i fucking love charly bliss, and 2) it perfectly captures the feeling of intense teenage summer love. how to be a heartbreaker represents rebecca's outlook as the pov character.

and here's throw a living past away, my queliot wip:

somebody that i used to know was a transplant from the camp canyon grove playlist, because once i started actually drafting the queliot fic i knew it fit much better there and also i really wanted to use that title. i originally said on twitter that your emotions have an echo is 2000s indie pop aesthetic and throw a living past away is 2000s alternative aesthetic but how it's actually shaken out is more of a 2000s sadboy aesthetic. we looked like giants is the second song because dcfc was the music i personally was listening to when i was sad in the 2000s (and within the first 3000 words i wrote, i managed to work in a reference to a grey subcompact). next is charly bliss because see above note about charly bliss and also it just straight up has eliot's name in it so what else am i supposed to do with that? king of carrot flowers is the song that immediately comes to mind when i think about boys being sad in the 2000s. i was meant for the stage is a song about eliot, who is not the pov character but who is basically the only thing quentin cares about for the majority of the fic.

from there, the playlist is primarily populated by feel. these fics are both "period pieces" as much as i hate the idea that 10-15 years ago counts as a period piece, so i do try to keep to songs that actually existed at the time. this is easy for throw a living past away since it spans a fairly long period of time (2007-2015), and harder for your emotions have an echo since it takes place almost entirely during a couple of weeks in summer 2006 (with two exceptions). but ultimately i'm writing fiction so if i want to pretend that 17-year-old rebecca bunch was blasting we are never ever ever getting back together then that's my prerogative, thanks very much. this is also why i won’t ever use the word “soundtrack” to describe these playlists (although, in the case of your emotions have an echo, at least one song does actually appear in the text).

in an ideal world, a person could listen to these playlists and intuit, if not the plot, then at least the type of story i'm setting out to tell. the process of making the playlist isn’t any sort of substitute for outlining, but it does help me feel out the story’s shape and sometimes informs certain plot beats (see: the five song section of throw a living past away that i added specifically for “teen witchcraft vibes”). 

if you're so inclined, you can listen to both your emotions have an echo and throw a living past away on spotify. (fair warning that the playlist for your emotions have an echo contains a couple elements that i consider to be spoilery, but that's entirely my perception.)

[raelee514]

So here is the thing. 

Going into the Magician’s finale, I thought they were going to kill off Alice.  This is an important note.  Going into the finale, I had not liked the sudden retread of Qualice, not for Queliot reasons at all, for Alice reasons and Q reasons.  I was baffled by it and totally confused as to why they would go back there.  And my thought was they giving Alice something to rip it away -- by killing her.  Cause hey, they were right that was more expected than Quentin.  

So Me watching the show live: OMG IT’S QUENTIN NOT ALICE.  It was relieving to me, fucking relieving. I admit it, I also admit I watched EVERYTHING play out with the thought: It’s Q, he’s coming back. No matter how final this all feels, like wow this feels more like a series finale (did they not realize when they wrote this they were gonna get the early season five pick up.)  It didn’t ping wrong for me, at all, Q dying because it was with the expectation that it wasn’t final.  

So, satisfied with it, cause it felt resonant and while tragic and sad not totally unearned giving the facts my brain was working with. It won’t be final, thank god it wasn’t Alice, cause I thought that might be final and what an unfair end for her.  Get on Twitter, realize Jason isn’t coming back -- thought for some reason it was his call, misread something or it was how all the interviews are phrasing it (he was in on the decision.)  But didn’t really read the interviews deeply or anything.  Saw people were pissed but did feel, since I was so sure it was gonna be Alice, at least it was the safe guy for once.. 

BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT. 

Okay, here is the thing both before I went to bed last night and got online today.  I deal with depression and anxiety, oh the anxiety, but I’ve never really been suicidal (I don’t know if has to do with me knowing my mother a sister young and I lost my father young and I know what grief does to do the living or it’s just me, I think it might be a combination of this.) But i don’t struggle with that thing-- so I didn’t see the POV until later of HOW FUCKING DANGEROUS showing Quentin being happy at what was basically a FUNERAL for him was to people with suicidal ideation.  And the show, THE SHOW KNOWS this is something he deals with, they KNEW enough to show a hotline at the end of the episode.  And really, they never should have meant it to be ambigious if his sacrifice was at all suicidal.  Just no, OMG. Not at all.  And yes, I needed this pointed out, and I feel guilty about it. BUT THEY are running a show, they have more responsibility put on them and they really truly should have put more thought in this.  I read it at the time as no, no way it was... I thought they meant that reading head on. But that’s not been what’s said since and that is just monumentally STUPID AS FUCK. 

Now let’s talk the trope they were subverting versus who Quentin Coldwater is...

He was the safe guy. He was the Ansty Typical White Dude.  And yes, Quentin was those arch types, he was that guy in the story.  The problem is, that is what he was when the show started, but as the show started to become it’s own thing separate from the books they were based on... Quentin was subverted into something so much deeper, he was no longer just his surface arch type.  He was the guy with crippling mental health issues, he was the guy who wasn’t straight, he was distinctly Queer, mostly read as Bisexual.  He was someone who was trying to not be what the world wanted That Angsty White Dude.  the show was great at subversion, they took what could have been another boring white guy character and made him DEEPER. 

So the idea, that they A) Only actually saw him at superficial level of that White Guy, from the showrunners/creators is well frankly said.  And B) the thought they thought Q’s story was OVER, when clearly it wasn’t when he had these deep feelings for Eliot his male friend, that he’s never in this current life gotten to explore or express.  That Q wasn’t still constantly fighting to live, that Q didn’t get to have his story end on LIVING.  Narratively the character was far from finished, in season three, which is when they decided this... and in Season Four.  If they did anything with him, it was expose a deeper layer, his love and want to try with Eliot, that was something new, and exciting.  They were meant to be closing his story though?

Which how did they do this?  When it worked for me it was because a) 100% thought it would not be permanent and b) thought the actor, an external factor pushed them into the thought.  But no it was C) We think his story is over, so we’ll do one of the most tired and overused tropes out there in the world and kill him off. But it will be subversive because he’s the Safe White Guy.  

ONLY HE WASN’T. 

They got their own character WRONG.

And it is SO disappointing because this show can be super smart, it can be super fresh and so good at not being tired and treading unoriginal ground. And this is just such a disappointing step in the wrong direction.  Made worse, because I truly thought they were smarter.  And narratively they didn’t sell throughout the season from first episode to last episode that was meant to be Quentin’s swan song season.  If anything they did the episode and were setting him for more growth and that goes into the Queerbaiting because itw as focusedon Eliot.

I mean. LOL. They failed so hard on so many levels here. They QB things so hard -- they knew they were killing him off, they never EVER should have had his declaration of wanting a relationship with Eliot be Eliot’s most traumatic memory.  EVER.  They made it explicitly canon.  It’s a show that had us believing they were fresher and different than other shows out there -- they knew better, they subvert bad tropes. 

They chose the wrong trope to try to subvert here.  They failed it hard.  And have hurt so many people.  And the sad thing is, I know they won’t get it, they never do.