#throw a living past away

[alfairy]

Nimona AU where Ballister and Nimona do leave the kingdom and go over the wall to find a new safe home. Years pass. The kingdom is more paranoid than ever because the queen killer and the monster were never caught and could presumably still live among them or return to cause more chaos.

The director decides one day that they need to take the fight to the monsters, strike first before they are stricken again. Knights are sent out beyond the wall to search the surrounding land and burn down the woods in order to “smoke the monsters out.” Destroying everything, trying to fight a monster that was never even there.

During one of these instances, Ambrosius and Ballister finally see each other again face to face for the first time in years since that fateful interaction at the institution. They’ve both changed, physically at least; Ambrosius’ hair is longer, Bal’s got some more grey streaks and a new arm upgrade. But underneath all of that they’re still the same, still got that lingering hurt and romantic feelings. Nimona is still the same as ever and hasn’t aged a day.

(Also idea that maybe there’s other small communities and people living outside the wall that Bal and Nimona ended up quietly settling down in. People who are far more open minded and accepting of others, and who are more concerned about the walled off kingdom with guns pointing at them than this nice guy and his cool daughter. That’s their neighbor and they’re not gonna let some knights storm in and cause trouble for him.)

[kacievvbbbb]

I don't know especially with the lastest chapter (ch 265) this just feels so much like Yuuji.

Like especially in the first season people kept asking why he is doing all this, why he wants to save people, why he's beating himself up so much over people he barely knows. People kept wanting to know Yuuji's why and he couldn't explain it he was holding unto the promise he made to his granfther as an explanation but that wasnt really is.

And then you have Mahito who tried to force his own defintion of who yuuji was unto him and beat him down until Yuuji believed it too. He's just a machine killing curses because thats his nature vs Mahito killing humans cause thats his nature. They are beings of instinct slaves to their nature, cogs in the machine. And Yuuji internalizes that so much it weighs so heavily on him the idea that his job isnt to save people but kill curses doesn't sit right with him.

but then at what should be his lowest point he stares his biggest tormentor in the face and said you know what I don't particulalry care what you or anyone else thinks about my reasons. I don't think you have to have grand or innate reasons to do something. Sometimes you just do! and what yuuji wants, more than anything; more than killing curses more than keeping the "weak" safe, is to save his friends. And it's too late for a lot of them, Yuuji was too late but goddam it he won't be late for this. So fuck Sukuna he's bringing Megumi home.

[iniziare]

I'm doing minimal research on HI3 "Seele" out of sheer curiosity, and I just don't know how to function within society anymore. What am I going to do with this? The answer is that I can't do anything with this. 'Expy', they say. I'd like to raise you a 'headache' instead. As in... impossible to combine, but yes, callbacks.

Okay, but onto useful information: what I actually wish I could find more about, is the Sea of Quantum (and Seele's constant phasing which she seems to have in common with her HI3 counterpart), the potential symbolism of butterflies within their lore, instead of merely within our western and eastern cultures— and the scythe that she uses. Now, I have 'big brain' thoughts on the latter because while going through her skill, and ultimate animations (listen, there's information hidden in there, just like I noticed a thing for Kafka in hers, but more on that later), I heard a relatively clear gunshot sound in the latter, which then led me on a maddening journey into 'why and what', and I had thoughts on the Silvermane Guards and their rifles. And truly, I love Reddit beyond belief, because they confirm and give additional information on this little thought. See here, a bolt-action rifle, similar to what the Silvermane Guards seem to use, and tidbits of it on Seele's scythe. Did this girl make this? I have many questions, but more so: many thoughts.

[lesbiansanemi]

Was doing so good holding it together today but now that I’m laying down and trying to sleep I’m tearing up and I can feel that I’m about to burst into tears any second now

[vamppvania]

They're still toxic Yuri btw. They couldn't be together in any universe because their mutual obsession would cause them both to make harmful sacrifices for the other. It wasn't necessarily healthy but it was everything. There's no regrets because what matters is that love was there. It was always there. Everything stays but it's still changing.

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Oh god.

This summer you sent our mutual friend a package, to get to me. An heirloom, a bit of camp history. Passed down to me.

And on that package, your phone number and address. Your phone number, that I had long deleted from my phone because the urge to call you was always too strong.

When I last saw you in person, you said that when you finally moved to the city it would be with your girlfriend. You would move in together. And surely, she would become your fiancee and then your wife.

There it is. On the package. Your new address, in the city.

I have to keep myself from calling you right now. You probably have my number blocked, and I truly don't know what I'd do if you answered. But I would give anything to hear your voice again.

Even if it's just you saying, "Hello? Who is this?" While her voice is in the background, asking you what you want for dinner.

At this point, I don't even need to be the voice in the background asking what you want for dinner.

I just wish I could be the voice on the other end of your phone call.

[lameow-l]

so wait… furina is the name of the archon role that “furina” had to play

wouldn’t make more sense narrative wise to give her a name of her own?? like scara gets his own epic chapter about him ridding himself of his past and adopting a new name then proceed to ignore said name in favor of “hat guy” but the actress playing “furina” doesn’t get to be known for her own name?

like people of fontain (partly maybe) know the truth so why not let her free? let her enjoy the simple human life she so so longed for? even the other furina wouldn’t want this

[ringneckedpheasant]

i’ve been reading a book that’s an edited down version of decades worth of journals that some lady inherited from her gay uncle when he died in the late 80s (early 90s?) & in the foreword she talked about how he kept ridiculously meticulous records of like 60 years of his life that she had to sift through and I am just. having fun thinking about inflicting that on one of my sister’s kids when I eventually kick the bucket

[advisorsage]

I honestly can't remember the last time I wasn't nauseous. Was it five days ago? Seven? Who knows. Certainly not me.

[icewindandboringhorror]

Various recent pictures of things

[yaminerua]

My brother was watching some home videos from around 2005 and anything from around that time is such a mixed bag of emotions for me when I watch them.

Like a lot of the videos have me at peak obnoxious cringe but like as embarrassing and kind of A Lot as I was then I can’t bring myself to actually dislike or hate that kid bc like. 2003-2006 were some of the roughest years of my life like every day I’d wake up literally terrified of how that day would end. My short-lived diary of early 2006 is full of lines like “won’t get sleep tonight, probably, but you know why” and I do… Oh I do…

so like. I see those videos of this loud kid being weird and feral and being Super Extra about the things they love and I just. I love you. I love you I love you I love you. You were going through awful traumatising shit every day and those things you loved were the only lifeline you had in the world. You were a strong kid and i wish I was half as strong now as you were then but I also wish we never had to find that strength in us to survive in the first place.

I can’t ever hate that version of me. Cos that kid is the only reason I’m still here at all and I only wish I could reach back through time and give them the big hug they needed that no-one else was giving them.

[4giorno]

he found god, what a beautiful moment

also found the newest addition to my fave clips of him

[jikigo]

you ever just see a post and just

. 😭

.⬅️🫀⬅️

[nohkalikai]

every time i talk w my parents i have to remind myself not to get swayed by their doting affectionate act.

[mildswearingat4am]

I’m cleaning out my closet and got completely sidetracked by a stack of my old journals. Because like --

I like journals.

As a kid, I liked having something on hand I could pull out in school to doodle and goof off without looking like it. What are they gonna do, get mad I’m writing in a notebook?

Now, I like the idea of having an older version of me preserved in pages so I can see how much I’ve changed and how much has stayed the same. How excited I got over my first experience with something that’s now routine. Wincing at how totally oblivious I was during a Clearly Very Bad mental health situation. Past hopes, past dreams, past music tastes, you know? Sometimes I put a nice leaf in the pages from past autumn.

At the same time, just because I want the record to exist doesn’t mean I want it to be here. In my closet. Taking up space and gathering dust. When something happens my first instinct isn’t to hunt around for a pen and paper, because that feels like a chore. Why do I have to record myself for future dissection? Can’t I just have experiences and accept the me I am now is fleeting?

But I also know how easy it is to rewrite a past you have no record of. Saying oh, it’s always been this way, when in fact you’re getting Bad again. I don’t want kid me to disappear, just like I don’t want to disappear someday when older me can only vaguely recall the mundane stress the 2020s.

But do I want to undertake the arduous ordeal of preserving me? Now? Today? Carrying the past to every new apartment and house and turning it into a personal history museum?

So basically my closet’s still gross and now I’m having an existential crisis

[rowanhoney]

Also wild I accidentally over shared with a customer earlier that my mother disappeared to Central America and that as a child there was a solid 2 years where all sides of my family United because my mother was planning to run off with my brother and I and just go and live in the middle of nowhere in Mexico. Like no plan no income no home. Just take her kids and wing it in a dangerous place