#your emotions have an echo
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I LOVED how silly Fjord and Jester were in the one shot. One of the (many) things that draws me to Fjorester is that Fjord never got much of a chance to be a kid, what with the sweatshops and the child labor, meanwhile Jester had a childhood that allowed her to hold onto a lot of her joy and innocence.
Throughout c2, we saw Fjord loosen up a lot and allow himself to engage more and more genuinely with the antics of the m9, and it was really awesome to see him 7 years down the line, fully leaning into playing when he wants to. Instead of putting on an accent that he thinks will make people listen to him, he’s dressed like a pulp romance hero and still runs a whole shipping company with 3 (4? I don’t remember) ships because he’s a good sailor, a good captain, and a good leader. He doesn’t bat an eye when Jester calls him Admiral and does the eyebrows and the voice; he responds equally dramatically with “yes, my love!” and I don’t think an early- or even mid-campaign Fjord would have been able to do that. But now! Now he gets to play! And I love that for him!!!
#heal your inner child fjord!#I have thoughts about how fjord is good for jester too just not as easily articulated#they’re both so good for each other it makes me so emotional#cr spoilers#critical role spoilers#critical role#mighty nein echoes of the solstice#fjord#jester lavorre#fjorester
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Jenna Begay, one of the most emotionally intelligent/repressed people in town
#I don't know if I have a favourite character in echo but I def relate to Jenna the most#love her to death she is my flaws made manifest#my art#echo vn#echo project#echo spoilers#jenna begay#socketman#carl hendricks#girl you can't academicise your emotions as a way of getting out of having to feel them
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Thinking about how these two met. Get adopted, idiot.
More human!Echo.
#adopted as in “you are my sibling now; no take-backsies”#I just love the idea of Echo seeing this deranged little gecko and being like “Get away from me” and Treecko being like “Make me”#Grovyle's stubbornness overpowering Echo's festering anger is the best okay#Him choosing to love Echo despite their flaws and Echo in turn becoming a better person through exposure#Learning what it means to have a purpose; to have someone you care for so deeply that you'd protect them over valuing your own life#Echo yearning to see the past and all of its wonders because Grovyle has nurtured this new love through stories and old texts#A yearning to see the sun; the real sun and feel it's warmth because it's Grovyle's dream but having the strangest feeling of guilt#A guilt she cannot understand because it's buried deep inside and clouded in amnesia and pain and regret#I am emotional okay#another art post so quickly? yes#I blame everyone that left me nice replies and tags on my last human!Echo post#thanks for encouraging me to make more content I love you guys#Will try to write up some lore soon to share!!!#echo/human#echo/umbreon#pmd ocs#pmd grovyle#pmd2#pmd eos#pmd explorers#explorers of sky#my art
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havent seen this take in a while thankfully but it popped up in my head and i wanna post this anyways. i think everyone who talks about how siffrin “got off too easy” at the end of isat and his friends should have abandoned him should go read warrior cats if they want an example of a character using their trauma as their god-given jailbreak card to treat their family and peers (a good amount of whom who were completely innocent) like dogshit, and who faces zero consequences from the narrative for it (and in fact bends over to blame their peers). like read all the shit jayfeather does while the narrative sobs over how tragic but awesome and quirky he is and then look me in the eye and tell me siffrin’s ending was poorly written.
#or look at titania from reborn. what who said that#at least siffrin’s trauma is actually developed and taken deadly seriously by the narrative and clearly isnt being used to excuse his behav#behavior#siffrin does some shitty things in the story but theyre very obviously in a horrible state mentally and physically thats been breaking them#down little by little by little until theyve exploded and broken down. and his family still holds him accountable for what he did#but they stay with him anyways because they love and respect and care about him and are horrified to learn his situation#meanwhile ivypool goes through trauma yeah but shes not really written like a realistic trauma victim#and when she hurts her sister over and over and over and over and over again its always her sister who has to make it up at the end#and we all gotta sob and coo over ivy because shes the fan favoriteand if you criticize her then you hate trauma victims#(ignoring dovewing’s trauma from the situation as well i might add)#while ivy never gets to grow or acknowledge how her attitude is hurtful to herself and others#its just ‘’well dovewing had it better so she better shut the fuck up and deal with the constant emotional abuse ivy throws at her’’#imagine if isat ended with siffrin going ‘’actually im not sorry bc you all havent suffered as much as me’’#and the party didnt object to that at all and they were like ‘’yes we do have it better so youre justified in hurting us#and also you are the most tragic character ever so you cant face emotional consequences ever’’#(and before anyone goes ‘’well dovewing left the clan and ivypool feels bad about that’’ the story doesnt position it as a consequence of#her behavior to her sister. canonically shes leaving to be with her baby daddy and SHES framed as the one hurting her sister#and shes the one whos gotta mend that rift. while the narrative doesnt acknowledge that that situation was partly her sisters fault at all#)#ok sorry for wc on main jumpscare. i wouldve posted over on the blog but i dont think people over there have played isat#echoed voice#isat spoilers
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I despise any narrative that positions social progressivism as a western concept. why is every immigrant narrative about escaping from the terrible inherent conservatism of the backwards culture your family comes from and being saved by america's unique progressivism. just this disgusting pinkwashing that is exactly the same as any other narrative claiming that the west invented civilization and all those third world barbarians are only just now beginning to learn it from them. america's enemies do not have a monopoly on social conservatism. white people did not invent queer acceptance or anything else of value. death to america idk
#sorry out of character for me to have any political opinions of my own I know. this just got me unreasonably upset#maybe I am just incoherently trying to justify a purely emotional reaction. I don't think so though#I do not relate to any story about your asian immigrant parents being conservative and evil#and the american values you've learned saving you from their backwards culture#like idk we're not the ones sending our kids to conversion therapy bible camp#of course it's possible for parents to suck in ways that are informed by their traditional values#this is not a fucking. foreign thing though. you americans can be just as bad#narcissus's echoes
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just going about my day idly contemplating how some of the ways hawke can interact with a romanced anders are not at all unlike how they interact with leandra (and a bit of carver too, especially with a purple hawke), and then thought about my hawke in the timeline where he romances anders and was hit straight in the face with 'was he ever actually in love, or was he just desperately trying to renegotiate with his mother's ghost in any way he could' and now i need to lie down. this is the power of dragon age 2
#'you don't know my mother' haunting me through the years#dragon age#dragon age 2#hawke#On second thought let's not go to Kirkwall; it is a silly place#there are of course as many ways to do/read that relationship as there are players to interact with it haha and all valid!#but my personal version of handers is sooo fucked up and bad times for everyone involved and I love it haha.#this is a relationship neither of them should have been in and that made everything worse and everyone unhappy in the end#locked tomb levels of the horrors of love. i ship it but in the way that I want to make it sadder and more gutwrenching each time#to be clear this is a very mutual two-way kind of fucked up but I think varric in his loyalty and love would downplay hawke's side of it#for huge swathes of their relationship anders is not in a mental place to be a good partner and the emotional blackmail is Not Okay#(but it's just like how mother used to make it! hawke's soul cries sadly as it reaches for it hungrily)#which is in some ways fair enough no one could accuse him of not warning you ahead of time fjskda#but hawke is messy about it in a way only available to a covert people pleaser who has never had a millisecond of therapy#with some added stuff that my hawke is always acespec in some form and when he gets together with anders...#is the sex something he doesn't particularly care to have or not have but it 'makes anders happy'/he longs to feel wanted *and* needed#and also a way he gets out of ever being *actually* vulnerable (which I think he'd had to be with varric for example if he Went There )#'you want the hawke who's in your head so badly and I kind of wish I were that hawke too. so let's be collaborateurs with that fantasy'#(and then maybe if I do it right every time you'll finally be happy hawke says in his heart looking at this leandra-anders phantom form)#(and echoing stuff in varric's relationship to hawke but I think the important distinction there is that varric -- is a craftsman haha#he KNOWS when he's lying/making up a story he KNOWS the difference between what is and what he wishes the world was#(I think there's some deep longing there to not know; for it to blend together or have the power to change things. but he always knows)#which ironically leaves him in a better position to actually see and understand hawke the person#even as he is creating hawke the literary figure. almost to protect him in some ways? god da2 is so full of STUFF!!! I adore it)#and of course anders gets so disillusioned with hawke's inertia and lack of action (you all but married this man anders!#you should know this about him he's already carrying the whole family and city on his shoulders if you add a gram more he'll collapse!)#and hawke feels so desperately hurt that the promise anders seemed to make that he'd be enough -- that he could fix things for him --#('I'm the one bright light in kirkwall and that apparently doesn't count for shit so I'm just slowly turning to ash for you')#turned out to be untrue. anyway. sad now. imagine them meeting like twenty years on what the fuck could you even say to each other then#(I can't imagine Hawke ever physically hurting anyone he loves so he just tells Anders to leave at the end of DA2. they COULD meet again
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#greatest songs of all time#i have such a complex emotional reaction to this song#i firstly think that in a way its haunted and it echoes the sounds of souls either lost or gone reminding you that your time will come#its also impossibly cacophonous in the way it exudes hopelessness futility and in a way depression#there is a loneliness to the song#perhaps its the very simple synths weaving in and out of the chorus and the arpeggios and the vocal harmonies#as a metaphor of a soul is observing life but never experiencing it#it just echoes the impossibility of being an outsider i guess#even though the synth doesn't exude a feeling of sadness or depression or anything negative#there is this unmistakable pain to it#suffering rather#maybe even anguish#i dont know all i know is it perfectly captures the suffocating flurry of emotions i go through every time i want to commit suicide#vatican shadow#dominick fernow#hospital productions#ambient techno
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THEY BRING TAI LUNG BACK JUST TO 'STEAL HIS KUNG FU'??? Excuse me???
#i mean seriously. you establish that tai lung can come back. you get ian mcshane on board to voice the character#you introduce the fact that he knows po is the dragon warrior and potentially still harbors some resentment about that#and instead of just letting him be the narrative foil in a study about hubris that echoes the first movie with po's new ego#you give him one fight scene and then shove him in a birdcage so your random new villain with no stakes can take over#and look i'm not opposed to chameleon as a villain in concept. but they just don't give her any motive or emotion!#NONE of the new characters have emotion behind them! zhen's whole betrayal-reunion thing just doesn't have any impact#it just feels like a nothing-movie. kung fu panda 3 makes my dad cry every time and kung fu panda 4 is 90 minutes of blank space
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reminiscing on when i was playing end.walker and got through all the heartwarming scenes before boarding the ragnarok andnh then they justj killed th.ancred instantly
#lem text#🌊#xivposting#IT S SO FUNNY. ***HOW*** COULD THEY DO THAT TO ME#THW WORST PART ABOUT IT IS. I DON’T THINK I EVER TALKED ABOUT IT ????#BUT THERES A LITTLE SCENE WHERE ONE OF THE SCIONS KNOCKS ON YOUR DOOR AT NIGHT AND YOU GET TO PICK WHO IT IS. TO HAVE A SCENE WITH#AND (duh obviously i picked him) TH.ANCRED BASICALLY TELLS YOU. HEY. WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO IT I DON’T KNOW-#IF I’LL BE IN THE RIGHT MINDSET TO SAVE MYSELF. SO CAN I COUNT ON YOU TO DO THAT FOR ME? ANDB FIRST OF ALL IT GOT ME SO BAD#AND SECOND OF ALL **I CANT BELIEVEB THEY FOLLOW IT UP WITH HIM DYING IMMEDIATLEYNBkfneknfjkebnf#ALSO ALSO TJENNFKhf wknfkwbf. AT THE LAST STAND. ONE OF THE DIALOGUE OPTIONS YOU CAN SAY TO HIM#IS ‘we’ll make it through this. together.’ AND I WAS LIKE OH RUDY /WOULD/ SAY THAT :’). AND TJKENDN THEY FUCKJGNgnfbekfnke#i never even posted my ew thoughts ramble oug.. it was basically just me losing my mind over ultima thule n talking about story pacing. <3#final f.antasy fourteen sucks [second favorite game in the entire world] i can’t stand it [i would do anything for its characters ever]#anyway sorry echoes in the distance came on and it activated all of my emotions. TT i lovw this game i love this game i love this g
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I was thinking of the parallel universe again and of a scenario where the two Rimmers have a parallel experience of leaving and then trying to come back home. So Arnold and Arlene Rimmer both leave their respective home dimensions, having been recruited to become the next Ace at the same time, and then at some later point they both decide screw this I wanna go home, so they try to go home but the closest they manage to get is each other’s dimensions. Arnold ends up in Arlene’s dimension, the same one he and the others visited all those years ago and where Jim and Bexley have been ever since Lister had to give them up, while Arlene has landed in his.
At first it seems like the worst outcome. So close and yet not close enough but then Rimmer remembers the Holly Hop Drive and wonders if this universe has an equivalent. It does. Hilly had made a Hilly Hop Drive back then too but it had never been used bc the Boys from the Dwarf had beaten them to it with their similar contraption.
So it might be possible to jump the final distance home after all.
They dig it out of where it was stored and set it up and press the button and sure enough there’s another Red Dwarf, just like before, only this time Rimmer knows it’s home he’s looking at.
They all travel across in Starbug and are tremendously surprised to find that Arlene is there, on the other ship still dressed in the Ace flight suit like Rimmer himself.
So it’s a big old reunion convergence point. The two Rimmers returning to their original Listers at the same time. And also with the added emotional bonus of Lister getting to see his sons again, now all grown up, for the first time since he had to give them up.
#We are gonna ignore the future echo that has bexley die on board the ship bc that would just be one hell of an emotional whiplash#your sons come back to your dimension and bring Rimmer back to you with them#and while you’re all catching up again one of them accidentally dies#lets assume that like with the stasis leak future that never comes to pass they fucked the timeline enough that that future echo doesnt#end up happening either bc Jim and Bexley make me sad enough as is with lister having to give them up without the added grief being added;;
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heehee hoo hoo procrastinating things so i rant here
#this is all on my mind because recently i interacted with one of those like... twitter akechi stans who are in an echo chamber of#akechi/akeshu. and its just impossible to talk about anything because a)the characters can't be divorced from each other. akira only exists#to prop up akechi and be his cute bf and in a way vice versa for akechi but at least he's allowed to be a bitchy asshole/have more emotions#and its considered 'cute'.#b) in those circles there's a very specific interpretation of akechi that really grates me which makes it even harder for me to take things#seriously or speak when whatever we're talking about is completely at odds.#and its not like I'm inserting myself into akeshu convos and going 'wow youre wrong' we were literally just talking about akira and akechi.#no romance. just them as characters and about the persona awards and its just bah bah bah bah bah shipping#and akeshu is a good pairing but man some of y'all make me go 'damn its not That good'#UGH and that's another reason why i find it hard to hold a conversation about anything regarding royal. because it all fucking boils down#to akeshu and 'maruki being the no.1 akeshu shipper hehe!!!' thats WEIRD you know thats really weird right#and so tiring. i know 3rd sem focuses on akira n kechi's relationship but like. you can talk about it in a way that isnt sosssososohggtgrgh#running out of steam for this rant i forget my original topic i just wanted to yell#idk man i just want nuance. please. i think this ends up being true for any fandom that gets too steeped in shipping#but Fuck nuance is one of the core themes of persona 5 and yet people don't have any
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oh my god . endwalker 🥹
#🌙.rambles#[ ffxiv. ]#i'm rambling so much oh my god i'm listening to endwalker ost n i'm crying shush#but um oh god this just brings back so many memories#yk before i really used to play ffxiv nearly everyday#now i. i think this is the first in this whole week?#'hush love close your eyes and in sleep abide as sun's distant light echoes down to dreams below'#ffxiv's effect of me is insane it just brings out. this vulnerable more soft part of me?#it's much easier for me to communicate in-game#sending letters. i love sending letters in-game. unfortunately it's only for per world though :<#i finally have a close friend yeah that plays ffxiv more actively n isn't in free trial yeah? she has a house so i put messages#listening to ffxiv endwalker's ost outside of the game feels so foreign to me honestly#listening to. 'each drop' just. my poor heart it makes me emotional in such a confusing way#it comforts me and it puts me at peace.. is that why it feels so foreign to me 🥹#i have a lot of memories tied to these osts#one for example hehe w this is yk hermes my beloved. when he talks to us of.. his dreams. his loneliness. of meteion and of the world#' to know that you too have experienced suffering...is a comfort '#bro really said that. i love him so much#dynamis is also just. it just sounds like hope.#ffxiv easily enables me to remember n it just makes me feel like myself. reminds me of all the love i have for life#it brings back a lot of memories#bcs it's something that's. despite my activeness in it may fluctuate it rlly has been something constant for the past two years n#a lot has changed. i've met a lot of people. made a lot of memories. so many things that i wouldn't even have dared would happen#and when i think of how much has grown in these years it just.. brings me so much peace. count my blessings yeah i'm just#i'm just so inexplicably happy to be alive still n have all this. n to think that in the future.. yeah loss in inevitable at some point but#i hope to retain what i can. to grow even more. to live on.. with. everything n everyone. yeah. i'll do my best#I'M SORRY IT'S LIKE 1:44 AM RN N I'M EMOTIONAL HFLKASDJFL
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I was meeting a client at a famous museum’s lounge for lunch (fancy, I know) and had an hour to kill afterwards so I joined the first random docent tour I could find. The woman who took us around was a great-grandmother from the Bronx “back when that was nothing to brag about” and she was doing a talk on alternative mediums within art.
What I thought that meant: telling us about unique sculpture materials and paint mixtures.
What that actually meant: an 84yo woman gingerly holding a beautifully beaded and embroidered dress (apparently from Ukraine and at least 200 years old) and, with tears in her eyes, showing how each individual thread was spun by hand and weaved into place on a cottage floor loom, with bright blue silk embroidery thread and hand-blown beads intricately piercing the work of other labor for days upon days, as the labor of a dozen talented people came together to make something so beautiful for a village girl’s wedding day.
What it also meant: in 1948, a young girl lived in a cramped tenement-like third floor apartment in Manhattan, with a father who had just joined them after not having been allowed to escape through Poland with his pregnant wife nine years earlier. She sits in her father’s lap and watches with wide, quiet eyes as her mother’s deft hands fly across fabric with bright blue silk thread (echoing hands from over a century years earlier). Thread that her mother had salvaged from white embroidery scraps at the tailor’s shop where she worked and spent the last few days carefully dying in the kitchen sink and drying on the roof.
The dress is in the traditional Hungarian fashion and is folded across her mother’s lap: her mother doesn’t had a pattern, but she doesn’t need one to make her daughter’s dress for the fifth grade dance. The dress would end up differing significantly from the pure white, petticoated first communion dresses worn by her daughter’s majority-Catholic classmates, but the young girl would love it all the more for its uniqueness and bright blue thread.
And now, that same young girl (and maybe also the villager from 19th century Ukraine) stands in front of us, trying not to clutch the old fabric too hard as her voice shakes with the emotion of all the love and humanity that is poured into the labor of art. The village girl and the girl in the Bronx were very different people: different centuries, different religions, different ages, and different continents. But the love in the stitches and beads on their dresses was the same. And she tells us that when we look at the labor of art, we don’t just see the work to create that piece - we see the labor of our own creations and the creations of others for us, and the value in something so seemingly frivolous.
But, maybe more importantly, she says that we only admire this piece in a museum because it happened to survive the love of the wearer and those who owned it afterwards, but there have been quite literally billions of small, quiet works of art in billions of small, quiet homes all over the world, for millennia. That your grandmother’s quilt is used as a picnic blanket just as Van Gogh’s works hung in his poor friends’ hallways. That your father’s hand-painted model plane sets are displayed in your parents’ livingroom as Grecian vases are displayed in museums. That your older sister’s engineering drawings in a steady, fine-lined hand are akin to Da Vinci’s scribbles of flying machines.
I don’t think there’s any dramatic conclusions to be drawn from these thoughts - they’ve been echoed by thousands of other people across the centuries. However, if you ever feel bad for spending all of your time sewing, knitting, drawing, building lego sets, or whatever else - especially if you feel like you have to somehow monetize or show off your work online to justify your labor - please know that there’s an 84yo museum docent in the Bronx who would cry simply at the thought of you spending so much effort to quietly create something that’s beautiful to you.
#shut up e#long post#Saturday thoughts#this has been in my drafts for a week haha#also this is the heart of why AI art feels so wrong#forget the discussion of copyright and theft etc - even if models were only trained on public domain they would still feel very wrong#because they’re not art. art is the labor of creation#even commercial art and art commissioned by the popes and kings of history: there is humanity in the labor of it#unrelated: I did not know living in the Bronx was now something to brag about. How the fuck do y’all New Yorkers afford this city???
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I’m not accepting feedback at this time
(Yes, yes I am, I desperately want attention and outside validation to fill the void)
#even your emotions have an echo in so much space#give me attention#validate me#i’m only half joking#but not demanding about it#if I tag this as bratty will it get me pegged as nsft#buh dum tss#shitpost
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sorry ive been a negative nancy abt ranger 1 so far, dont mean to be, but man im not looking forwards to the subtle misogyny in this series
#thats not just me right…..#like its not enough to say this series is misogynistic or anything bc i dont think it is#but i remember gs especially being weird about its female characters#that game 100% expected the player to be male imo bc ben is all over the marketing even more than summer#to the point he got both specials in the anime#and in the almia shoutout they reference the male player no matter which gender you picked#blue eyes doesnt get to be as relevant as red eyes and shes devalued as a threat and shoved out pretty quickly#and just like…… the way the companion character is written….. i think they fully expected summer to be the default#in that position#bc iirc the companion is constantly held hostage and is super emotional and panicky#and implied to have a sweet little crush on you and youre so brave compared to them#which is actually pretty awesome if you play as summer and the companion is ben#but yeah. i LOVE gs dont get me wrong its my favorite but….. yeah#also i remember almias got some weird stuff too but memory is more foggy there tbh#echoed voice
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my dad just sold his townhouse (my primary residence for the past ? year ish ?), feeling very :/
#closing date march 28#gonna stay at my moms temporarily & pay her a bit of rent until i can secure my own place#having a lot of mixed feelings. i don’t do well with change#a lot of history in that house. a lot of memories (good and bad)#i had the happiest & most blissful love filled two weeks of my life in that house#i wish i could just go back and relive those two weeks again and again. i thought that was going to be my future forever#coming home from work with flowers or a little treat for you & being greeted by you dancing around the kitchen & singing softly to yourself#cuddling up in the nest i made us in the living room before you’d fall asleep in my arms and i’d gently wake you up and help you to bed#walking hand in hand late at night to go swimming in the pool with the moon keeping watchful eye#waking you up by peppering kisses all over your face before i went to work while you sighed and snuggled deeper into bed#for those two weeks that townhouse became a little glimpse of Our home together#it’s been hard living with echoes of the memories. but i think i will miss it more than anything.#sorry for emotional dump in the tags ! still touch and go !#still very emo and miss my best friend/why couldn’t the good last forever#sam soliloquizes
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